#WHICH INCLUDES MEN SOMETIMES

[quinn-fucks-shit-up]

hi, just a reminder that terfs are not actually feminists!! a feminist is someone who fights for ALL women's rights, don't let terfs give feminism a bad name

#feminism #terfs arent feminists #i could write ESSAYS on how people have tried to make feminism exclusionary #when in reality its just about the rights of everyone suffering under the patriarchy #WHICH INCLUDES MEN SOMETIMES #but some of y'all aren't ready for that conversation #trans issues

[bombusbombus]

Tim Sale draws clothes like he's referencing ONLY languishing 1800s heartthrobs. He really gave us the sexiest, most dapper Clark Kent fashion. The sleeves. The waist. The silhouette. It's delectable.

#yes the last one isn't clark but THE SLEEVES???? #the fit of al these sleeves is heavily reminiscent of 1800s shirts #I see a man in one of those shirts and I start crying on the spot #myself included #I looked through Tim Sale's batman stuff and there's NONE of this #literally can't find it outside of his superman comics? #which is fair! #we all want to dress Clark up in little outfits #I have literally drawn Clark in these shirts #he deserves to be dapper sometimes... as a treat... #something about seeing fashionable men in a minor state of undress... #and as always u gotta love how HUGE he's drawn :) #tim sale #clark kent #if someone knows more than me about fashion I'd love an analysis #panels

[countess-of-edessa]

the thing about taking advice from anyone on tiktok or instagram including catholic and christian type influencers, parenting advice, relationship advice, etc, or internalizing any stories of horrible relationships and betrayal people tell on those platforms, or reading about all the ways interpersonal relationships can end horribly and be cycled through extremely quickly on those platforms is that you are necessarily then consuming the thoughts and experiences of someone who is willing to put their face and name on a public social media platform to talk at you. and like 1% of those people have a good reason for doing so and the other 99% are completely unhinged. so everything you’re consuming has first gone through the filter of "is this person weird and insane enough to make Instagram reels of themselves crying?" and if the answer is yes maybe their advice doesn’t apply to your life because you’re a normal person who would not do that.

#i don’t know if this makes sense but it’s something i was thinking about today #not that i really live my life according to Instagram reel advice but as a human being when i see something stated as fact i naturally seek #out the parts of it I believe or compare it to my current worldview #and when that person seems to have a lot of “clout” for discussing spiritual things….idk sometimes I’m like wait is this true? should i #believe this? and other times I’m like well is this a real pattern of behavior that can be observed in many people from different walks of #life including my own? this thing that all men do or all women do or the way all couples will eventually behave #this makes it sound like i am constantly on social media consuming hours of content which im really not #I’ll be on a train and scroll a little bit and something gets stuck in my craw #but with me I’m always like am i rationalizing this away because i don’t want it to resonate? #and I think in the case of anything on social media the answer can almost always be no #because im like wait. why would i take advice from someone who has a public Instagram account #im not saying a stopped clock isn’t right twice a day but really how much of my perspective and life experiences can they share in #when we have this totally totally mismatched worldview #(i mean this also applies to basically anyone offering any type of life advice who isn’t catholic about that) #(but when they are Catholics doing this that gives me slightly more pause for obvious reasons I’m like we are on the same team though?) #(and we are but only kind of and i do not have to listen to you because being an Instagram influencer is still cringe in 99% of cases.)

[mariocki]

A young Christopher Lee guest stars as dastardly Larry Spence - a rising star in the world of journalism, turned blackmailer and then murderer - in The Vise: The Final Column (1.16, ABC, 1955); the episode wasn't seen in the UK until 1963, as part of ITV drama anthology Tension

#fave spotting #christopher lee #the vise #tension #1955 #the final column #for more information on the complicated origins of The Vise (a US production entirely made in the UK) see my prev fave spotting post for #Jacqueline Hill's appearance on the series #Lee was hardly a newcomer when he made this ep; he'd been acting professionally since being demobbed a couple of years after ww2 and #was something of a stock player in british cinemas‚ usually in minor bit parts as caddish gentlemen or authority figures and military men #one of his first really significant roles would be later in '55 as a submarine commander in The Cockleshell Heroes #he was also making semi regular appearances on tv in small guest spots‚ albeit sometimes uncredited (as in ITV's The Adventures of the #Scarlet Pimpernel also around this time). a jobbing actor‚ basically‚ and not yet the cinematic icon he would begin (that journey starting #at the end of the decade and the beginning of his association with Hammer studios and horror immortality). he's very good here tho #host and narrator Ron Randell even describes him near the start of the ep as (something like) 'young‚ handsome‚ but sinister' which #may as well have been printed on business cards for the kind of work Lee would find himself doing for the next decade or so #yes he's a real rotter‚ a strangler of ladies and a blackmailer of tycoons‚ and in true Vise fashion he gets his just desserts and the mora #status quo is maintained (this is a very moral series and takes pains to inform us via Randell exactly what kind of punishment the villains #received after the events depicted) #Lee made two more Vise episodes but as Network (rip beloved) seemingly took a random approach to which episodes to include in their #first volume of the series (and obviously as it turned out only volume) i have no idea if either of those are on the set #one can hope! and i do bc it's lovely seeing him so young but with such a meaty role

[jorvikzelda]

today i had this Vivid memory flash through my mind of kissing my ex boyfriend (this was like 2018) and i felt so viscerally fucking revolted and I gotta say. it is truly impressive that I didn’t realise I’m a lesbian sooner than fucking half a year ago

#z talks #like the misidentifying as ace was Inevitable i think. that was due to repression that realising i didnt like men would not have fixed #(context: id’d as bi ace like. i wanna say 2016/17-2021/22 sometime and then went into ace and Questioning) #remember the time i really solidly settled on being aro because ‘romance has never not felt like a chore and putting on a facade’ #babe no thats because your most recent and also singular long term relationship was with a Man #and thats the only one youre looking back on #its so funny how i dated a guy and it was so thoroughly Meh that i just didnt feel like pursuing anything romantic for a very long time #(A REACTION I HAD NOT HAD AFTER MY PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS WITH GIRLS) #And DIDN’T somehow consider that maybe I just Didn’t Like Guys #its nothing i grieve or feel sad about dw its honestly mostly funny to look back on #no wrongs were committed and i dont hold a grudge against the guy it was just me being confused and compheted #(…which is also a weird word to apply because at the time i identified and was out to my friends as a trans guy Binary. #This Was Also Wrong.) #was a weird time man. a truly weird time #anyway. all is well i have now been on 2 dates with a really cute girl and she gave me tulips <3 #as part of a Care Delivery bc i had a Migraine and No Painkillers Or Snacks #get well flowers <333333 #and now i dream of kissing her under the moonlight #With the uh. Hornetposting lately it May seem unlikely but yes I DO interact with real women! Romantically! #They coexist Wonderfully <3 #Anyway. I’m gonna go to bed #Realising that im a lesbian solved all my identity problems including my fucking gender which is just fantastic #I am very happy and whenever I think of being a lesbian it grounds me to reality a little bit stronger and i go yeah. Yeah.

[fishflavouredlead]

queer women when trans-masc/men's lived experiences are just a little too similar to their own: 😡☝️🤬🚫😤🤬🚫😡🤬😤☝️

#bc thats really j gotta b what it is right? #bc idk how u can hear ppl #go through exactly what youve been through #the only men or men-like companians who can ever truly ***empathize*** w women #and u want to talk over them or claim that their experience isnt valid in some way because??? #what??? #it makes u feel some type of way??? #u dont like it???? #u dont agree w it bc personally its not yr own personal experience???? #bc u think it somehow takes away frm yr own expereinces??? #when in relaity were both j expereincing the same thing and both suffering in totally similiar ways j in different directions #or sometimes still even in the same direction #idk im really tired of this kinda.. indifferent if not invalidating attitude ppl will have towards transmen #or even transmascs #if theyre a lil too masculine or a lil too binary (which again will always b skewed due to individual perceptions) #and tbh #it kinda scares some of yall bc #honestly some of us including me including some trans ppl too #dont know what good kind gentle postive masculinity looks like #its never been modeled for us (which is glaringly obvious looking at the stae of the world) #idk it just comes off as ignorant and closeminded and yall wpuld think ud b the the last ones caught dead being exactly that #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbt #queer #literally fighting the same fucking battle but were all too busy killing the whole squadron w friendly fucking fire #like i love yall but come on

[8rujaa]

sorry your post said you'd date trans people but i wasnt sure if you were just talking about fems & nbs and I was confused but also realize it's none of my business if you date dudes or not right after i sent that so feel free to ignore this

yes yes :) i meant trans fems or people who don’t fit into the binary or fall under any label. sorry i’m high

#just realized i basically a aid the same thing twice in that post so i understand ur confusion 😭 #and no worries i do over share online LMAO i think personal questions are expected every once in a while lol #i don’t think i would date men which would include trans men yk? #but i think bisexuality can mean date your gender + other genders #so i think for now i’m satisfied with the label #but i also don’t think that sends the message to men . but also any time i’ve been approached by men now i’ve just said ‘sorry i like women #which is both true and also doesn’t give them the green flag to pursue me #it works sometimes lol #inbox

[victorian-nymph]

Sometimes I will go on tiktok and I see a slideshow like "Star Wars men >>>>>>>>>>" and I think hell yeah they have some truly beautiful men in the originals, prequels, sequels and spin-off shows, and then I'll scroll through we have the standard Anakin, Obi Wan, Din Djarin, Poe, and I think yeah baby, and then I am jUMPSCARED by kylo ren being there. And then I want to throw OP off a bridge. Take him OFF that slideshow immediately he doesn't deserve to be amongst the ranks of men that I would let do some truly depraved things to me.

#so crazy how you'll get anakin who is this gorgeous gorgeous looking man i could write poems i could make oil paintings of #he looks like Alexandre Cabanel's the Fallen Angel #and then you slide and then there's Kylo Ren who looks like a greasy incel on the tail end of a ben shapiro marathon I cannot believe #that they are meant to be related #also Finn is never included in these and it's a crime #sometimes original trilogy men are there but not often which is strange #star wars #penelope rambles

[jarchivussy]

what is it with people on the internet these days.. you know not everyone has to be included in everything right. it's ok to have separate spaces. a place with people like you is a normal thing to want. you understand this. right?

#txt #first e.ndos then bi lesbians now mentailly ill able bodied ppl in cripplepunk.... #let's stop. ok lets all stop and take a breath before calling anyone who says a group of people shouldn't be included in space made to #include other people “ter.fy” #because i have seen “t.erf” equivalent words for all three of these #and i have seen a transfem lesbian being called a t.erf over not wanting men in lesbian spaces #and i just think. not everyone should be included everywhere #sometimes u've got to shut your mouth and listen when a minority tells you they are being pushed out of their space <3 #^ inspired by me going into the cripple punk tag and first post assaulting me with “merd” (mentally ill exclusionary radically disabled) #which like. sorry but if you unironically use that term idc if you're a cripple yourself. you need to shut the fuck up #ableism

[the-busy-ghost]

No need to worry, the screams of fury emanating from her room are just because she made the terrible decision to read someone else’s list of the ‘100 Best Classic Fiction Works in English’

#Usually it wouldn't bother me that we disagree on some of the items on the list- that's a good thing! #And the point in looking at lists like this is to find out other people's opinions and recommendations #And you always know they're going to be biased #And the fact that it's male dominated isn't all that surprising especially for adult literature #However #What really got to me was this particular individual this utter HAM included children's literature #And that's where the gender bias not only became obvious; but it also became clear that this wasn't a list of classic books #This was just a list of the only books this guy had read #Female writers wrote a hefty portion of what we traditionally call children's classics #I know this because I actually read fiction as a child (adulthood less so) #And unlike this journalist I was diagnosed with Little Girl and therefore expected to read books by both men AND women #I'm not angry at this guy; he's obviously made the attempt to unlearn some of his assumptions #Especially with adult fiction #I'm more saddened by how obvious it is that boys of his generation were expected to only read books about boys; by men #And then we wonder why they grow up with a bias towards works by men as adults? #I just thought children's classics had to be an exception; even if they read stuff by men in other areas SURELY they'd read classics #like the Secret Garden or the Railway Children or Black Beauty especially in cases where the woman only used initials so you couldn't tell #It was a stupid fucking idea to put children's literature on the same list as adult classics anyway as children's lit is such a huge genre #But I'm sorry I read Robert Louis Stevenson (loved it) and Jack London and Mark Twain and Kenneth Grahame just like this guy #So I don't understand how he managed to miss out on everything except Little Women (which is sometimes marketed to adults which may explain) #It's not news of course that boys are often not expected to read books that aren't about boys we know this #What really got me is a) I would have thought the books often (rightly or wrongly) marketed as 'classics' would have been exempt from this #And b) now I know this dude didn't do his due diligence when creating this list because he clearly didn't think he needed to go back #and expand his knowledge of children's literature before throwing his list together based on what he personally read as a boy #Like personally if I was going to make the controversial decision to add children's lit to an already controversial list of classics #I for one know that I should go back and read the things I missed out on as a kid #For example my knowledge of children's classics is thoroughly determined by mid-twentieth century British views #Hence I read a lot of stuff from the Edwardian era #Hence I also didn't read many books by non-white writers- something which I now know to have been dictated by outside circumstances #So I would be very hesitant to just list off as 'the best children's books' all the ones I alone had read

[wlw-cryptid]

it's my birthdayyyyyy

#i feel good about it this year. been focused on a gift my friend promised me #i started playing last night and i love it so so much but there arent enough masc women #theres just like 50 albeit beautiful men who all kind of look the same #and all the others are super feminine. including the current canon non biney. which is fine don't get me wrong #its just not catered specifically to my romancing tastes #the volleyball girl was a little mean at first but i gave her a flower so she would calm her ass. and she's been nice now #sometimes. you give the big mean masc a bundle of violets. and she suddenly doesnt tell you to 'stay out of my way' anymore. hmmmm #i Was interested in big tall science woman but i need to get to know her more before i decide #shits tough for a femme on coral island #she speaks

[irrigos]

i will be very interested to see how the aspec inclusion stuff is worked into motr... my guess is that the fact that you can choose to categorically not be interested in romance will go entirely unremarked-upon. no one will flirt with you and be rejected, no one will mention that it's weird you don't want a boyfriend, etc. that's fine and it's definitely what some people would prefer, but i simply refuse to believe that a city entirely founded on the commodification of love stories would actually be super cool and accepting of the idea that someone might be aro

#my immediate instinct which is. unfair to fbg and honestly probably not true #is that the inclusion of nonromantic paths in motr was more to appeal to the demographic #of (usually straight cis men) who think 'dating sim' is both set up and punchline #and would never play one if they could help it #and the idea that its also good for aromantics who might want to play was just a bonus #again that is probably not true but you grow up be cynical of these things sometimes #anyway this post was brought to you by me rewriting a bunch of stuff in volume 2 of book of red murder to include an aro character

[caatws]

if i were still a college student with the time, drive, opportunity to turn it into a legit academic essay for one of my classes, i would so totally write something abt the way a lot of the mcu (specifically franchises that were first started during the infinity saga) is framed around Male Feelings even when there are female characters present and sometimes even to the detriment of female characters and their arcs. aka the Male Feelings to Fridging Cliff and Questionable Grief Portrayals pipeline

#this is such a half formed thought idek if this makes sense #but just with all the stuff we've been talking abt recently i feel like the common denominator here is white male writers/directors #and i feel like they all thought they were being Real Deep with the stuff they had their male characters go through #(which they genuinely were sometimes) #but in a way that was just. so aggressively male that would then negatively impact the female leads #gamora and nat dying to forward thanos and clint's arcs respectively is like the prime example of this #and i think post-eg gotg appearances are also victims of this problem #and also like #we couldn't even have a black widow movie without an attempt at including a sympathetic male character who trafficked nat like lol #ban white men from superhero media is what i'm saying i guess #madi.txt

[mumblesplash]

Tournament? What does ur bf do?

i really want to say something badass sounding like jet ski archery contest but unfortunately he is simply a g*mer

#it’s not his job or anything but he’s somewhere around like top 20 in the world so he goes to a lot of tournaments #which means i also go to a decent number of tournaments #side effects include sometimes needing to beat back clout chasers with a stick #and occasionally finding myself in discord calls with people featured in that one ‘see if you can name all these white men’ uquiz #splashasks #anonymous

[nerdygaymormon]

The LGBTQ community has seen controversy regarding acceptance of different groups (bisexual and transgender individuals have sometimes been marginalized by the larger community), but the term LGBT has been a positive symbol of inclusion and reflects the embrace of different identities and that we’re stronger together and need each other. While there are differences, we all face many of the same challenges from broader society.

In the 1960′s, in wider society the meaning of the word gay transitioned from ‘happy’ or ‘carefree’ to predominantly mean ‘homosexual’ as they adopted the word as was used by homosexual men, except that society also used it as an umbrella term that meant anyone who wasn’t cisgender or heterosexual. The wider queer community embraced the word ‘gay’ as a mark of pride.

The modern fight for queer rights is considered to have begun with The Stonewall Riots in 1969 and was called the Gay Liberation Movement and the Gay Rights Movement.

The acronym GLB surfaced around this time to also include Lesbian and Bisexual people who felt “gay” wasn’t inclusive of their identities. 

Early in the gay rights movement, gay men were largely the ones running the show and there was a focus on men’s issues. Lesbians were unhappy that gay men dominated the leadership and ignored their needs and the feminist fight. As a result, lesbians tended to focus their attention on the Women’s Rights Movement which was happening at the same time. This dominance by gay men was seen as yet one more example of patriarchy and sexism. 

In the 1970′s, sexism and homophobia existed in more virulent forms and those biases against lesbians also made it hard for them to find their voices within women’s liberation movements. Betty Friedan, the founder of the National Organization for Women (NOW), commented that lesbians were a “lavender menace” that threatened the political efficacy of the organization and of feminism and many women felt including lesbians was a detriment.

In the 80s and 90s, a huge portion of gay men were suffering from AIDS while the lesbian community was largely unaffected. Lesbians helped gay men with medical care and were a massive part of the activism surrounding the gay community and AIDS. This willingness to support gay men in their time of need sparked a closer, more supportive relationship between both groups, and the gay community became more receptive to feminist ideals and goals. 

Approaching the 1990′s it was clear that GLB referred to sexual identity and wasn’t inclusive of gender identity and T should be added, especially since trans activist have long been at the forefront of the community’s fight for rights and acceptance, from Stonewall onward. Some argued that T should not be added, but many gay, lesbian and bisexual people pointed out that they also transgress established gender norms and therefore the GLB acronym should include gender identities and they pushed to include T in the acronym. 

GLBT became LGBT as a way to honor the tremendous work the lesbian community did during the AIDS crisis. 

Towards the end of the 1990s and into the 2000s, movements took place to add additional letters to the acronym to recognize Intersex, Asexual, Aromantic, Agender, and others. As the acronym grew to LGBTIQ, LGBTQIA, LGBTQIAA, many complained this was becoming unwieldy and started using a ‘+’ to show LGBT aren’t the only identities in the community and this became more common, whether as LGBT+ or LGBTQ+. 

In the 2010′s, the process of reclaiming the word “queer” that began in the 1980′s was largely accomplished. In the 2020′s the LGBTQ+ acronym is used less often as Queer is becoming the more common term to represent the community. 

#mattxiv #queer history #lgbt #lgbtq+ #queer #long post

[cocklessboy]

The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.

#transgender #queer #transmasc #lgbtqia+ #trans man #sexism #medical sexism #feminism #male privilege