#a good 40% of this was finished while watching mean girls the musical in theater LMAO | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sunflowerhae · 4 years

Text

-> Forgotten Love [M.L]

Requested by • @sweetie-yoongi7 hope you like it bb!✨🐌🍄

•3.7k

warnings• slight verbal abuse, language, a fight 👊💥😤

“Write about an experience where someone you love hurt you. Explain the situation, what was done or said, how you both responded, and what the outcome was. Must be 5 full pages long, and in MLA format. God, how annoying is that? I mean, what do I write about, my mom not letting me get McDonald’s one time because we had food at home?” You scoffed while pushing yourself back into your chair at the cool, air conditioned coffee shop you currently found yourself in. Summer was just officially ending, and October was creeping it’s way into the year, which meant the air wasn’t exactly hot, but it definitely wasn’t cool enough to walk around with a jacket on. You found solace in the beige and dark brown toned drink house, that smelled like coffee beans and lured in customers with its smooth jazz playlist. You were thankful Mark picked this place to have your little date in between classes, for the chill ambiance calmed down your irritated interior.

While you loved your creative writing class, and you absolutely adored your professor, you couldn’t help but be slightly pissed off at the writing prompt she randomly assigned you. You stared at it for what seemed like hours during class, no specific moment like described coming to your conscious. You were still thinking about it as you finally looked up at Mark’s shrunken frame, and the prompt was easily forgotten as worry took over your emotions.

“Babe? Are you okay?” At your concerned tone, Mark lifted his head to meet you eyes, before quickly looking back down at his coffee. He kept glancing between your eyes and his drink, while you patiently waited for him to explain what was bothering him.

Mark scratched the back of his neck, before looking back up at you one final time, and huffing out a soft sigh. “I know what you can write about.” He had barely even mumbled it, so neither of you were surprised when you asked him to repeat himself.

“I..know what you can write about.” The way Mark refused to look you in the eyes, and the tone of his voice, lead you to believe you knew what he was talking about, and you knew he didn’t want to say it.

You and Mark were an amazing couple.

You liked the same music, you both had the same sense of humor, and you were both equally loving towards each other and your friends. You were the two oldest people in your younger friend group, and two of the youngest in your older friend group. You both balanced it out quite well, and set an example for both groups as a healthy relationship while you did it.

But that’s not to say you were perfect.

It was a year ago, to be exact. You were both at the beginning of your sophomore year of college, and the priorities were starting to stack for both of you. Mark -being a music major- had to write a song and collab with the dance majors to make a dance for the song in about two months and turn it in as a beginning of the year exam. Meanwhile, you -being a film major- had to make a small movie using the theater kids as your actors; due in a month. To top on to all the stress, you had both recently moved in together, and had barely started unboxing before the projects got thrust at you.

You hadn’t noticed he was distancing himself from you, at first.

You were so distracted with your project, that every time he would blow off eating dinner together, or would stay at the school until well into the night, you didn’t complain much; just trying to finish your project and get a good grade. It wasn’t until a month later that you started to see that something was wrong. You had finished your project and had gotten amazing grades, and all you wanted to do was go out on a nice date with your boyfriend; something you hadn’t done in about a month. You texted him the time and place to meet you at, to dress nice, and that you’d be waiting with a surprise. You had seen the small “read 3:14pm” under the text, and while you were a bit puzzled as to why he didn’t respond, you didn’t worry about it too much - seeing as lately that was his thing - and just got ready for the night you hoped would be just as amazing as the day was.

You thought you looked pretty beautiful.

Your hair was nicely done, your nails were painted marks favorite color, and the black, tight dress with sleeves hanging off the side accentuated your body and breasts perfectly. You had even sent Haechan a picture to make sure it was “hot,” to which he replied that Mark’s a lucky man, which made you smile. You were looking fine tonight, and while you had had a reason to celebrate, you couldn’t wait to give Mark your all tonight.

{for more effect, I suggest playing It Happened Quiet by AURORA here}

You took your seat in the dimly lit restaurant that was definitely too expensive for a music and film major, and waited for your water that was requested to the waiter to arrive. With a quick glance at the time on your phone, you realized Mark wouldn’t be here for another ten minutes or so. So you just sat there, trying to distract yourself from the excessive amount of bread on your table, and watched the clock count down until 7:30, when Mark should be arriving.

7:40 rolled around and you couldn’t stop yourself from staring at the door like it just did you super dirty. While it was just 10 minutes late, Mark was never one to be late.

Okay, that’s a lie, but he was never late to these type of things. And you perfectly timed it so that he would have time to get home from school, change, and then get to the restaurant. You quickly shot Mark a “you on your way?” text, before setting down your phone, trying not to be the clingy girlfriend, and keep your hope that Mark would be there soon.

Yet, by the time the clock struck 9, and your bread was stale and you had drank enough water to definitely get a bladder infection if you didn’t pee soon, your hope was completely dead. You silently got up from your seat and gave a small smile and nod to the hostess - who shot a sympathetic smile to you - before pushing the door of the restaurant open and walking toward your car.

You tried not to cry on the way home, but when you walked through the front door to see a dark and cold apartment, indicating that Mark had not yet come home, you couldn’t help but let the tears fall at the thought of something happening to him. You had called and texted him multiple times, and when he answered none of them, you even called the hospital to see if they had seen a patient that fit Mark’s description, or had someone named Mark Lee come in. You called all the hospitals in your area, in fact, but nothing came up. Your last hope was someone you actually didn’t want to call. Not because you didn’t want to call her, but because you didn’t want what you’re thinking to be true. But when all of your friends said they hadn’t heard from him, you had almost no choice.

“Hello?” Her chipper voice on the other end made you want to cringe, but you held it together.

“If Mark is in the room, don’t say my name. It’s y/n. Is mark with you?”

Yerim honestly didn’t know what to say. She stuttered a bit on the other end, before clearing her throat and mumbling a, “yes”.

You sighed and gave a half hearted, “okay, don’t tell him I called or anything, okay? Can you just, like, pretend you never even talked to me? Thanks Yeri,” hanging up the phone before she could answer.

You didn’t know how you felt about Mark working on a school project with his ex. When you had met Mark, it was at a college party during freshman year, around a year or so ago, actually. He had just been through a terrible breakup with his high school sweetheart who was - you guessed it - Yeri. If you were being honest with yourself, you knew you were the rebound. You just, fell so hard for him in the short time you had known him that, it didn’t really matter. You guessed somewhere along the way, Mark actually did fall for you, because he stayed, and he said he loved you, and you moved in together. Because of this, and because of the fact that Yeri was never brought up, you didn’t feel too insecure about your relationship.

But now that you’re sitting on the couch in silence, thinking about the fact that your boyfriend ditched your date to hang out with his ex, you can’t help but feel a bit unconfident in where your standing was with Mark. You slowly started realizing that Mark had, in fact, been distancing himself the past month; choosing to instead spend time with his ex-girlfriend instead of the girl that he claimed he loved.

Jealously and insecurities bit away at your insides when you heard the door slowly being unlocked from the outside. Looking at your phone, you realized it was 11:32pm. You had called Yeri at 10:15, so you suppose she honored your request to not tell Mark you called.

Mark was surprised to see you sitting on the couch when he walked in. He had figured that you would have gone to bed already. It was quite late for a Friday for you, seeing as this was the day you usually went to bed early; tired from the week. He felt guilty looking at you, so he choose to train his eyes on anything besides your crumbled figure on the couch. Meanwhile, you stood up, trying to catch his gaze.

“Mark. Where were you tonight?” Your harsh infliction made Mark slightly flinch. He wanted to apologize, because he knows what he missed. And when he finally did look at you, he felt even more guilty, because you looked quite upset about the situation, and you also looked absolutely beautiful tonight. Your black dress fit your body and extenuated your curves perfectly. Your hair was done gorgeously, and he could tell you spent a long time on your makeup. Mark did want to apologize, but when you said,

“Do you even care about this relationship, I mean it seems like all you’ve done lately is ignore me-”

Mark had almost seen red. Every little thing bothering him lately just...boiled over. He wasn’t thinking before he spoke, which never worked for him; this time wasn’t so different.

“God, shut up! Just shut up! All you do is talk! This is why I prefer to spend my time with Yeri, because she’s not so extreme like you always are! You’re not even half the women Yeri is, and you’ll never be! Sometimes I wish I hadn’t picked you to be my rebound for her an-“ Mark stopped himself from talking by clamping his hand over his mouth with wide eyes.

He hadn’t meant that.

He had not meant that.

He was just so upset by everything lately, and he spoke without thinking, like an absolute idiot.

But you didn’t know that. The tears streaming out of your eyes and the wobbling chin showed that for him. He reached out for you and took a step forward, only for you to take a step back, which basically broke Mark in half.

“Y/n I...” Nothing was said between you too, what was there to be said? To you, Mark had finally shown how he had really felt for the past month or so. You gave him one last look, before walking past him, putting on your heels - which were the fastest thing you could slip on - and quickly opening the door.

At the sound of the door, Mark snapped out of his daze, and rushed after you. “Y/n, no! Give me the keys, you can’t drive right now!”

Your tears had, in fact, gotten worse, but you said nothing to Mark as you picked up your pace to the parking lot of your apartments. Mark almost caught up with you, but you sped up even faster, which silently baffled him because you were wearing heals.

You finally got into the car and quickly got in to the drivers seat and locked the door just as mark arrived at the door. He was practically begging you not to go, and pleading to open the door. You just cried more and put your keys into the ignition, before backing out and driving out; Mark feeling like he was watching his whole life drive away from him.

{for more effect, I suggest playing Forgotten Love by AURORA here. You may have to play it multiple times.}

It had been three months since that incident. Three months since you and Mark talked. Three months of you being single. You, unfortunately, had a basic math class with Mark, and while you two used to sit in the corner together, you now both sat on opposite sides of the classroom. Or you in the front - him in the back. Wherever the first one in sat, the other sat on the opposite side.

Mark felt like he went through hell and back in those three months. He felt incredibly bad for what he said to you, and the fact that after that night, he didn’t try to get you back at all. The Monday after, you just sat on opposite ends, quietly agreeing that it was over. You had gotten all your stuff from the apartment, and luckily Haechan had a spare room you could live in.

Speaking of Haechan, your friend group was absolutely baffled when you both told them you had broken up. It had seemed like just a month before, you two were completely in love with each other; on the same page and everything. Then a month later; it’s over. They didn’t know who they should invite where, but you both reassured them (seperately. You both were just secretly on the same page still, without knowing it.) that you would be fine at the same social events.

You, of course, didn’t factor in that you would be watching your ex-boyfriend bring girls up to random rooms in his friends frat during parties. And that at bonfires, you would see him kissing random girls cheeks from across the fire. Or that, when you all had a group study date, he would bring a girl that none of you knew. You didn’t factor in that your ex-boyfriend would actively go out of his way to hurt you.

Truthfully, Mark didn’t do it to hurt you. He did it because if he didn’t hook up with girls at frat parties, he would drink too much and end up trying to kiss you. And if he didn’t flirt with girls at bonfires, he would spend the whole time staring at your from across the fire. And if he didn’t bring a girl to the study dates, he would break his pencils in anger when jaemin would wrap his arm around you in affection. But, at every event, no matter who he was with, Mark always failed.

He couldn’t stop stealing glances at you from across the fire while you laughed at something Nayeon - Johnny’s girlfriend - said to you. He couldn’t stop himself from breaking his pencils under the table when jaemin played with the tips of your hair. And he always ended up leaving the girls before anything happened at frat parties because he couldn’t stop wishing it was you.

It was actually at a frat party that Mark had gotten you back.

You were trying to have a good time. You didn’t come to the frat parties much, because the pain of seeing Mark lead a girl upstairs hurt you so much, you felt like your chest was on fire. But Haechan had all but begged you show up to this one, and you would have never declined anyway; It was Taeil’s birthday, after all.

You were dancing with Dahyun and Chaeyoung when you felt two hands grip your waist. You expected it to be one of the guys, so you turned with a smile on your face, only to come face to face with a man you had never met. The smile on your face dropped, and you took a step back from his grip.

He gave you a sick smile, and moved forward, back into your space.

“Hey, pretty girl. Wanna dance?”

“No.” You exclaimed disgustingly, before trying to move away from the unknown man. However, that proved difficult as his grip on your wrist was quite violent, and strong. You winced, and kept tugging on your hand, to no avail.

“Leave me alone, I don’t want to dance with you.” You kept pushing your arm back, but he just tugged you closer to his chest. You could smell the alcohol on his breath, and felt sick to your stomach at what was about to happen. At the thought, you started wiggling out of his grip at a faster speed.

“Bitch, stop moving-“

“Call her a bitch one more fucking time, asshole.” You opened your eyes to see a small group has formed around you, your mystery creeper, and..Mark?!

“Get lost, man. This ones mine.”

Mark was seeing red again.

“She’s...not ....PROPERTY!” and with that final statement, Mark swung his fist and you ducked just in time for the weirdo to be struck in the face and loosen his grip on you completely. You pushed yourself forward, and ran behind Mark, to the open arms of your friends, who - as you understand - ran to get mark the minute they saw you struggling.

Mark fought this dude almost twice his size for a minute, and he was about to be taken out, before he locked eyes with you, and the power surged through him. One final punch to the unknown asshole, and he was on floor. Everyone cheered, and some people were already picking up his body, chanting “POOL! POOL! POOL!” But the noise faded out as Mark strides up to you, takes your hand, and drags you upstairs. He pushes you both into a bathroom, where you suddenly take charge as you force him down on the seat, and look through the cabinet for a first aid kit.

You and Mark say nothing as you rub his cut with alcohol. At the sudden sting, Mark hisses and places his hands on your hips, gripping them harshly to push himself through the burn. You can’t help but let your eyes flutter shut at the feeling of the love of your life’s hands on you again. You felt like you had lived a thousand years without water, and were suddenly given a water bottle.

You didn’t realize how long you stood there, relishing in the feeling of Marks hands on you. Mark had opened his eyes, to see you with your eyes closed and you hands clasped together in front of your chest - the cotton ball resting in your hands. Mark pulled you closer to him with a whimper, and when you opened your eyes back, you saw that you were significantly closer to Mark, and that he had tears threatening to fall.

With a cough, you looked back at the first aid kit and pushed yourself out of Mark’s strong grip. Another couple of minutes went by in silence, before Mark finally let out a soft, “I’m sorry.”

Your movements halted, and you couldn’t bring yourself to look down at the sad boys eyes.

“I spoke before thinking. I didn’t really mean the things I said, I was just stressed out from school, a-and, fuck I don’t know, y/n. I just..”

Mark was crying now, and he leaned down and placed his hands in his hands. You stepped back in surprise with wide eyes. “I just want you back. I want my girlfriend back. I want to love you again and spend a decade and then some apologizing for what I said. I’m such a fucking idiot I know I don’t deser-“

You shut him up by pushing his shoulders back up, sitting on his lap with your legs on either side of him (terribly hard to do on a toilet, but you’re a master), and kissing him like a woman starved. Mark quickly falls into your lips, and brings his hands up and under your butt, effectively scooping you up a bit.

You don’t know how long you and Mark sat there kissing, but when Yuta walked into the bathroom to pee and had to see two twenty year olds kissing, he never let you live it down.

You smile fondly at the memory, before looking back up at your lover, awkwardly sitting across from you. Before you know it, you’re leaning forward and taking his hand in yours.

“I’m not going to write about that. That was a personal thing between us, and I honestly don’t want to relive that moment longer than I have already. I’m going to write about the time my cousin stole my DS.” You laughed, and Mark visibly relaxed at hearing you weren’t going to write about it. While he had suggested it, that was because he wanted you to feel like you could talk about it if you wanted, but the truth is he hated reliving those three months too. He remembers what terrible state he was in without you, and he doesn’t like to think about it.

You knew he was dwelling on it, so you stood up slightly from the table and leaned down to kiss Mark - who saw what you were doing and met you half way. You both gave each other a few more pecks before you whispered, “I forgive you, always and forever. And I love you.”

123 notes · View notes

mcustorm · 4 years

Text

45 M/M Gay Movies, Ranked

The other day I bit the bullet and decided to watch Brokeback Mountain for the first time. All I knew about that movie was that it was basically the CMBYN of yesteryear and somebody got killed with a tire iron. Anyways, so I finish the movie and realize that I’ve seen a *lot* of gay movies, especially in the last couple of years. So here are my rankings according to nothing but my personal preference. I won’t write about all of them, but you can ask about something if I leave it out.

I wish I could give you a rubric for this. The reality is, there are some radically different movies on this list with different tones and intentions. There’s buddy comedies, tearjerkers, small indie features, big theater releases. So trying to rank them all is TUFF.

The Way He Looks - Such a beautiful coming-of-age movie. Maybe the 2nd one I saw on this list? Perfect length, perfect characterization, simple yet compelling, clever. And nothing feels better than reaching a happy ending (for once, because some of these movies’ endings-- SHEESH) that’s been earned. It just hasn’t been topped.

2. God’s Own Country

3. Pride

4. Kanarie - Yea, we don’t talk about this movie enough. It’s one of the most recent that I’ve seen. Beautiful. The way that it references apartheid and the war to reflect the protagonist’s feelings? Flawless.

5. Jongens - The first movie that I saw on this list, gets many a bonus point for that.

6. Moonlight - Yes, I am black. Yes, I understand this movie may be too low. Moonlight kind of scares me. In general, there’s not nearly enough discourse surrounding this one for me. But while it’s not exactly a popcorn-muncher, to me it’s the most personal movie on the list. When I look at Chiron and all that he’s been through, I can’t help but draw parallels to my own story up to this point. It holds a mirror up to me in a way that no other movie on this list does. That makes me uncomfortable.

But it is so poetic. Have you guys seen the script for this? The directing, the SOUNDTRACK, the acting. Phenomenal.

7. Weekend

8. Call Me By Your Name - Yes, I am aware of people’s beef with this one. Yes, I understand a lot of people may feel this one is overrated. While I do think this one gets worse on rewatch, the truth is, it’s not really *that* overrated because hot take: most (meaning over half) of the movies on this list range somewhere from “just okay” to “painstakingly bad”.

It’s the score, the cinematography, the subtext in most all of the dialogue, the acting, the way that you can smell the apricots through the fucking screen. People who say this movie is a vacation ad are fucking CORRECT. One of my biggest gripes however is that it’s too fucking long. And uh, that age difference...

And Armie Hammer’s a weirdo...

9. Dating Amber* - Dating Amber has one of those “Duh” premises that sounds like it could’ve been done like 30 times before yet I can’t think of any other examples of it. So what you’d think would be a wacky premise actually turns out to be a frankly poignant movie with an emotional story arc for the main two characters.

10. Hello Stranger: The Movie* - This movie, which is the first sequel (sorta) on the list, frankly had no business being as good as it was. Even though the web series is required viewing, I felt the movie fixed like all of the series’ issues: pacing, lack of compelling drama, the awkward quarantine format. The drama and stakes are there without us having to visit Angst City. And the theme and the ending reprise is HEAT.

11. Uncle Frank* - Uncle Frank is like The Help of gay movies. Like The Help, it’s *overall* a short, sweet and fluffy movie set decades ago. Like The Help, you’ll still come out of it feeling pretty good even though it has some dark moments. Also like The Help, you’ll wonder after the fact if the central white girl absolutely needed to be so...well, central for this story to be told. Bonus points for Paul Bettany and Character Actress Margo Martindale.

12. Brokeback Mountain - Tragic.

13. Moffie - Set during the South African border war, same as Kanarie. You even hear the word “moffie” throughout Kanarie. Anyways, this is a war movie for the gays, and a very intense watch. I liked that it was a much more realistic view of what a soldier endured during that period, and of course on the flip side I thought it was more thorough in its depiction of the rampant racism. I gotta find a good book on this era.

14. A Moment In the Reeds

15. Get Real - Maybe the most out of place movie on the list. I need to rewatch it. I do recall absolutely loving the score, however. Like, I fucks with this:

youtube

16. Freier Fall - When I finished Brokeback I was like, “Wait, wasn’t that just Free Fall with extra steps?” And yea, it kinda is. But even discount Brokeback is still pretty good.

17. Beautiful Thing - There are few things to like about this one, the relationship between the two guys, the mother’s love for her son even though it’s not all rainbows, that nice little final scene. I did not care for the dark-skinned woman being portrayed as, you know, the drug abusing, school dropout, gossipy, butt of jokes neighbor. But that guy really looks like Tom Holland tho.

18. Love, Simon - It’s at this point that I move from “Yea, that movie is good, you should watch it!” to “Look, you may like it, you may not.”

19. The 10 Year Plan - This movie is so fucking cheesy that there was cheddar coming though my speakers. But when I think of “Hallmark/Lifetime, but for the gays” this is the crown jewel. There’s some other movies on this list that could’ve taken some notes.

20. The Christmas Setup* - The trend of fluffy-white-gay-cable-network-movie continues and in good form. It’s not deep. It’s not really thought provoking. It’s cute. Fran Drescher is there. You should watch it.

21. Giant Little Ones

22. Hidden Kisses

23. Alex Strangelove - In a unique twist, the emotional core of this one is arguably between Alex and his girlfriend. All that ends up happening, however, is we the viewer keep wanting more Alex/Elliott scenes; those are the most electric in the whole movie. The end result is a hot yet endearing mess.

24. Fair Haven

25. The Thing About Harry - Freeform’s attempt at making a cheesy rom-com for the gays. It’s...okay. I personally feel like the main character’s friend is highkey trifling but it’s whatever.

26. Your Name Engraved Herein* - So I guess I’ve decided I officially hate angst. I mean, I get how it’s often necessary to tell an effective story, but I’m just not here for 2 hour indie angst fests that get passed off as “high art” anymore. I cannot do it. Somehow this is Brokeback’s fault...there just has to be a better way to tell gay stories in the 2020′s. Anyways, the last song was fuego.

27. The Perfect Wedding - Easily the most bizarre movie on this list. It’s so bad, I liked it a lot.

28. Naz and Maalik - The first half of the movie with the two leads just riffing is some pretty great stuff. The back half starts throwing plot developments that are just less than interesting.

29. My Best Friend

30. The Curiosity of Chance

31. Being 17 - Boring. Angsty.

32. And Then We Danced

33. Center of My World - Has some of the most trifling characters EVER. I was so angry. This movie for me has *0* rewatchability.

34. Just Friends

35. 4th Man Out - This movie was basically “a bro/Hangover-style movie, but for the gays.” I absolutely love the intention, but the execution was a little shoddy. One day we’re gonna get a flawless movie that nails what this movie was going for. I hope we remember this movie whenever that day comes.

36. Latter Days - So fucking preachy.

37. GBF - Another bizarre one, but at least this movie gets how wacky it is.

38. Beach Rats

39. Shelter - I’ve noticed a lot of people like this one. To that I say...yikes. Remember that scene from Family Guy where Peter says he doesn’t care for The Godfather? I did not care for Shelter. It insists upon itself (not really, but still).

40. Handsome Devil

41. Esteros - It’s at this point of the list that we shift from “Movies that are the definition of ‘ight’ “ to “These movies are bad. Bad. BAAAAAD.”

42. Monster Pies

43. Were the World Mine - I couldn’t even finish it. Wanna watch a better musical? Go watch Kanarie. Wanna watch a better Shakespeare adaptation? The Lion King is the movie for you, or even fucking She’s the Man.

44. North Sea Texas - So boring. I actually think this one may need a rewatch, because I swear it shouldn’t have been as terrible as it was.

45. Salvation Army - I have no idea what this movie was going for. I understand that it is autobiographical, however...it simultaneously barely has any plot or character developments. This one has shades of Beach Rats, but it’s significantly worse, and I didn’t even like Beach Rats that much.

So that’s it, thanks if you made it down this far. I guess I’ll update the list as I inevitably watch more of these. I would love movie recommendations!

#lgbtcinema #the way he looks #cmbyn #love simon #thanks for reading #thanks profusely to the gif-makers #i couldn't finish maurice...i'm so sorry #half of these are breaking glass or wolfe #argue with yo mama

48 notes · View notes

stareyedplanet · 4 years

Text

Birthday Surprises [p.p.]

•••••••••••••••••

Pairing: Peter Parker x Fem!reader Summary: Peter takes time from saving New York to spend time with you on your birthday, and he’s got a few surprises up his sleeve to make the day truly special. Notes: this is a very self - indulgent fic considering it is my birthday today, so seriously, do not come at me. you have been warned. even still there are like no descriptors. i think i mentioned he runs his fingers through her hair? maybe she blushes? i honestly can’t remember. i don’t really reread and edit soooo… and he picks out her outfit if that ruins your creative ability idk. people be weird sometimes. anywho, any feedback is appreciated other than the stuff i mentioned. Warnings: pure fluff, maybe a kiss or two Word Count: 2,348 ••••••••••••••••• You had never really been one to celebrate your birthday in the past. When you were younger you had a few parties, but as you got older birthday plans just seemed to fizzle out into nothingness. It always made you a little sad, but that was probably because the last birthday party you had you ended up sobbing at. Yeah, maybe it’s a good thing you didn’t have a birthday party after that. You didn’t have very high expectations for the day, since to you it was just another day and another year. Your life wasn’t going to dramatically change because you were a year older. Really you just thought that maybe you would see Peter in between his patrols, and you’d put a candle on the little cupcake you got yourself. But Peter Parker had other plans.

He knew that you never really celebrated, but he wanted to make the day special for you. To him, you deserved one special day dedicated to you — really you deserved every day to be special and dedicated to you.

He couldn’t be more thankful for such a perfect and patient girlfriend. You never complained when he canceled on a date, or when he went on patrol so long you only got to see him a few minutes. Any time he ever had a cut or a bruise, you would sit him down and patch him up, always putting on a brave smile to cheer him up, even if he knew you were always terrified you would lose him. But you never let it get to you. You were always there for him and never showed signs of backing down.

So he was determined to make today special for you.

It was early when he was knocking on the door to your place, a sweet smile lighting up his entire face. He took in your appearance, still dressed in an oversized shirt and baggy sleep pants. Your hair was a mess around your face, frizzy and unbrushed.

This wouldn’t do.

“What are you doing? You have to get dressed! We have a busy day, come on.” Peter coaxed as he walked into your place, pushing you towards your room.

“Peter? I thought you would have patrol this morning?” You said, clearly confused as to what the boy was on about. Not that you were unhappy to see him. You loved being able to hang out with Peter longer than normal.

“Nope. Today is all about you, angel,” Peter grinned, kissing your cheek as he pushed you into your room before going to the dresser and pulling out an appropriate outfit. And by that he meant jeans and his old Midtown sweatshirt you had stolen ages ago.

“What are you doing?” You laughed as he pushed the clothes into your hands before turning his back to you so you could get dressed.

“Tik tok, Y/N,” he sang, waiting patiently for you to finish getting dressed. He knew you were done when you wrapped your arms around his waist, pressing your cheek against his back and just inhaling his scent.

“Can’t we just stay in, Peter? Seriously, I don’t need anything big.” You argued quietly, nuzzling into him more.

Peter turned around in your arms and kissed your head, playing with the ends of your freshly brushed hair. He just swayed with you for a minute before he shook his head.

“Nope. My special girl deserves a special day. Come on, you’ll love it, Y/N. Trust me…” Peter said, giving you sweet puppy eyes. You could never say no to those eyes. Not really.

“Fine, I trust you Peter. But promise we can just come here and watch Lilo and Stitch at the end of the day?” You asked him, looping your arms around his neck.

Peter gave you an Eskimo kiss, nudging his nose against yours.

“It’s on the plan, angel. I promise. We’ll have cuddles and movies later.” Peter assured you, pressing his lips against yours quickly. “Now are you ready?”

“Yes, I’m ready.” You agreed finally, grabbing your phone and keys, slipping each of them into their normal pockets.

Peter laced his fingers with yours as he led you out of your apartment and down to his car, helping you into the passenger seat before climbing into his side. He subconsciously reached over and buckled your seatbelt before giving you a sheepish look of apology. He knew you didn’t like it when he did that. Sure you thought it was cute that he was worried about your safety, but it borderlined him being overly worried and protective.

But today it didn’t seem to bother you. In fact, you smiled at him and just shook your head in amusement, which made Peter’s face brighten as well. His hand rested on your thigh as he drove to the first location of the day. Breakfast. He watched as you began bouncing in your seat when you realized where he was pulling into.

IHOP.

You absolutely loved the place, but you hardly ever got to go. And Peter clearly knew you if this was where he was taking you for breakfast. He once again led you inside and you all took your seats.

“Come on Peter, tell me what else you have up your sleeve for today?” You asked him, leaning across the table to talk. You batted your eyelashes at him, hoping he might tell you what else he had planned.

“Nope, it’s a surprise, Jellybean,” Peter grinned. He wasn’t usually good at keeping secrets but he was determined to make sure he didn’t let a single thing slip.

Before you knew it you two had been there for two hours, laughing and talking and teasing. You were sure you could have sat longer but Peter had someplace else for you to go and began to usher you out.

You waited patiently in the car as Peter drove, his hand returning to it’s spot on your thigh, the other controlling the wheel. You bit your lip as you looked at him, hoping your stare down might get him to crack. It didn’t.

This drive was a little longer than the first one, so you knew you weren’t headed back to either of your places.

“Peter, where are we going?” You whined quietly, hating surprises. But you trusted Peter.

“You will see. Jeez, be patient, Angel,” Peter laughed quietly, squeezing your thigh gently.

You tried for a while longer to get it out of him but ultimately gave up, leaning your head against the window to watch the buildings passing by. It was thirty minutes later when Peter told you to close your eyes.

With an amused smile you placed your hands over your eyes, waiting patiently for Peter to park the car, come around to your side and help you out. He then led you around while making sure your eyes were closed. Peter was so excited to see your reaction. He had gotten help from Mr. Stark for this one, so he really hoped you would like it.

You two eventually stopped and Peter moved behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder. “Open your eyes.” He whispered to you.

So you did.

You looked around and your jaw dropped when you saw the large Broadway sign. He had brought you to Broadway Theatre. And when you glanced down he was holding two tickets for Wicked. You turned your head to share your look of shock and happiness with him. You had wanted to go to a Broadway show for so long, and Peter had made it happen.

“Peter… how?” You asked him, turning in his arms with teary eyes.

“Mr. Stark helped me get really good tickets. He also… may have paid for them to run the show tonight.” Peter explained quietly.

“You got… Tony Stark to pay to run Wicked on my birthday for me?” You asked incredulously.

“Of course I did. Do you like it?” Peter asked.

“Like it? Peter this is literally the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. I love it.” You said before throwing your arms around him.

The show lasted for around two hours, and you were on the edge of your seat the entire time. Peter thought it was cute how into the musical you were, and he found himself spacing out to stare at you for chunks of the performance. He wouldn’t admit that if you asked though.

The performance was over in a flash, and you were both disappointed and invigorated because of it. It only had just ended yet you wanted to watch it again and again. Peter had made a good choice.

“Thank you for such a wonderful day.” You murmured to him as you walked out of the theater. “You’re welcome, jellybean, but the day is far from over.” He grinned.

“What do you mean?” You asked, surprised that he had more planned.

“I mean it’s time to get back in the car. And don’t worry, the next part has more standing up and walking around.” He told you as you two headed to the car.

“Peter, I really don’t need anything else.” You tried to tell him.

“Come on, you’ll love it…” Peter said, giving you puppy eyes. “Please?”

“Fine.” You sighed. He had seemed to put a lot of effort into it all so you didn’t want to ruin it. “But then can we just go home?”

“Yes. Scout’s honor after this last place we will watch movies and cuddle.”

“You weren’t a scout.” You reminded him with a smile.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Y/N.” He teased, wiggling his eyebrows. It made you laugh as he pulled onto the road once more, taking you to your last mystery location.

It was a 40 minute drive.

It was long and you were already sick of sitting in this car, but every time you whined like a child asking if you were there yet, Peter would only laugh and tell you that you were ‘getting close love.’

Once again when you were in the final stretch, Peter told you to close your eyes so he could properly surprise you. Much in the same fashion as earlier, Peter helped you out of the car and began to walk you along. Only this time you could somewhat hear where you were going.

“Peter… are we at Coney Island?” You asked him. Your eyes were still covered so you couldn’t see the pout and puppy eyes Peter gave you. He uncovered your eyes since you had guessed.

“Yes… you ruined your own surprise you know.” Peter told you, kissing the tip of your nose.

You giggled, shaking your head as you threw your arms around him. He really was probably the sweetest and best boyfriend you could ever even dream of.

“I know. It’s not my fault I have ears though.” You pointed out, pulling him into another hug.

“Yeah, but still…” Peter whined.

Eventually the boy gave up on the argument and pulled you into the park. The first thing he tugged you to was the swinging chairs, knowing it would give you two a great view of everything around. And despite the line, you two were able to get right on, another compliment of Mr. Stark. It was that way with everything. You had unlimited rides and unlimited games. Nothing could be better, except maybe just being home, cuddling with Peter.

Next you chose to play some of the carnival games that were everywhere, after Peter begged you to stop for cotton candy. And of course you had agreed, only you chose to steal from his rather than get your own.It was a whirlwind and before you knew it, hours had passed by in the blink of an eye, leaving you and Peter thoroughly tired out from your fun. It meant it was time to go, even if Peter was disappointed he hadn’t won you anything — rather, you won him a stuffed dog you two agreed to share custody of.

Before you two could leave, you pulled Peter into a photobooth, wanting to have some memento of the evening. But finally it was time to go home, and this time Peter told you he was headed to his place for one last surprise.

Your leg was bouncing with anticipation as you waited for him to get to his place. What more could this boy possibly have up his sleeve?

It turned out, Peter had set up the sweetest little fort in the middle of his living room. Aunt May was nowhere in sight and it just left the two of you. He handed you a little cupcake with a candle on it.

“Happy Birthday, Jellybean.” Peter smiled, kissing you softly. “Let’s watch some movies.”

You both walked over to his fort, getting rid of your shoes and climbing in. You settled between his legs, your back pressed against his chest as you ate your chocolate cupcake.

“What was your favorite part of the day?” Peter asked you eventually, after settling on Lilo and Stitch. He tried to fight for Rapunzel, but it was your birthday so of course he lost. Not that he didn’t usually lose that fight.

“Hmm, you know what? This is my favorite part.” You replied quietly.

Peter frowned, surprised and confused by your answer. “Really? But we do this all the time.” He said, knowing this wasn’t new or special.

“I know. But that’s what makes it great. All I need is you and some Disney movies and I’m happy. Everything else was great… but this is my favorite place to be.” You admitted to him. There was nothing better than cuddles and movies with Peter.

“Oh…” he murmured, suddenly feeling shy as his cheeks went

“I love you Peter… You were all I needed to make today special.” You whispered, twisting in his arms so you could kiss him.

“I love you too, Y/N.” Peter smiled, resting his forehead against hers. “Happy birthday, angel.”

#peter parker x reader #spider man x reader #peter parker x fem!reader #birthday fic #peter parker one shot #one shot #spider man x fem!reader #self indulgent fic #birthday celebration #peter parker fic #marvel fic

94 notes · View notes

fandomdancer · 4 years

Note

1, 7, 22, 30, 40, 46, 49

Original post below so you can see the list. I am answering these questions but if you are interested in hearing more, I can answer more!

1: What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded?

I have two OCs right now I could answer this for, so I’ll actually answer for both.

My first OC is Talia Talbot. I was brainstorming names and just wanted something fun and carefree-sounding. The first thing that popped into my head was ‘Tabby’ with ‘Tabitha’ as the full name. My brain just decided it didn’t want the ‘kitty cat’ subtext and I started thinking of names with the same rhythm. ‘Tally’ came next, with ‘Talia’ as the full name, and I got stuck on it. As for ‘Talbot’ as the last name, I was literally just thinking of last names that felt right and and ‘Talbot’ just sort of popped out of my mouth. So really - ‘Tally’ was kind of a random name that had the right rhythm and it stuck. ‘Talia’ itself means ‘gentle dew from heaven/by the water’ which is a soft and beautiful meaning and kind of fits her personality. She is the steady person in her relationships, the listener, the supporter.

The second OC is Roslyn and to be honest I haven’t decided on her last name yet. My original idea for the character was a rich girl with an aristocratic name. I asked my girlfriend for help and she replied: “Roslyn” without hesitation. I don’t usually choose the first name that comes to mind but it sounded so absolutely perfect, the only thing I asked was: “Roslyn or Rosalyn?” She said: “Roslyn” and that was that. So...I don’t have her maiden name, but that is how I got Roslyn Thawne (yep...you read that right). The meaning of her name is ‘gentle horse/rose’ and while I know the story she is involved in, I’m not sure if the meaning of her name fits.

7: Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)?

Tally tries to keep her swearing down. How does she do it? Usually by muttering: “For the love of....” without actually finishing the sentence. Her frustration level can be determined by how loud, soft, fast, or slow she says it!

Roslyn is a big fan of asking questions without actually asking them. She’ll flatten the end of a sentence so she isn’t actually making a questioning sound, but usually the sound that comes out is pretty sarcastic. “Really...” is something she’ll say, usually to let someone know they’re going too far, or doing something completely ridiculous.

22: What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have?

Tally and her best friend Ren (short for Renault...but only she can call him that ;) ) have matching tattoos. I know they have but honestly I don’t know what they are yet haha. (They’re both still in development)

Roslyn is even less developed so I’m not sure of any distinguishing characteristics. I know she has a smattering of freckles on her face and her significant other (Eobard) does like to kiss them when he feels affectionate.

30: When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like?

Tally loves music. She listens to most kinds from all decades, from Billie Holiday and Kay Starr to Elvis Presley and The Runaways, to the Bangles and the Backstreet Boys. She does prefer songs with lyrics and doesn’t spend a lot of time in the classical or smooth jazz range. She does have a solid appreciation for movie scores. She has a tendency to annoy the Wells (EoWells and Harry both) by blasting classic rock when she’s burying herself in work, but Cisco will often drop by for an impromptu dance party. Film wise - she gets along like a house on fire with Cisco Ramon so the two of them share their love of classic - and not-so-classic - films. She’ll quote scenes from Die Hard with him over the course of a day, and then flop down with Buster Keaton and a bowl of popcorn in her off hours. She isn’t big on going to the theatre for plays but will sneak over if it’s a musical or a dance show (like Riverdance).

Roslyn received piano lessons at a young age (which she eventually traded for violin lessons), and is definitely quieter than Tally when it comes to musical tastes. She enjoys film scores, orchestral or symphonic music, and even band music when she can get to it. She considers opera to be an impressive vocal achievement but doesn’t listen to it on a regular basis (unless Eobard’s listening and letting it play in the house). Roslyn doesn’t quite enjoy sitting and watching many films or plays or television but will do it occasionally. She prefers to be outside, enjoying what nature she can.

40: Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others?

I actually can answer this for Ren, not Tally or Roslyn (because I just don’t know yet). Ren’s guilty pleasure is comedies. He was a more casual fellow before the catastrophe that ripped him and Tally apart, but later he comes off as very grumpy and dark. No one would suspect his favorite actor is Dan Aykroyd and he secretly loves to watch Addams Family and Get Smart and Max Headroom.

46: What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover?

Tally will blow kisses at Ren randomly. She doesn’t do it during serious moments like when they’re at work, but relaxing, or even at a dinner party, she’ll send one when she thinks no one is looking (however, someone often sees).

Roslyn knows Eobard isn’t huge on contact so she adapts the Vulcan affectionate gesture between Sarek and Amanda, and usually keeps two fingers in contact with a part of him when there is need for support or when her heart is full. Eobard will at times be more comfortable with contact, and instead of letting her rest her fingers on him he’ll take her hand or place his hand on her opposite waist. When the two of them are truly alone they are in much more prolonged contact with each other but in most situations it’s just the two fingers.

49: What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood?

Tally consistently dreams about the final moments of her Earth - Earth-15. As she spends more time on Earth-1, the dreams are less frequent but they still happen. They heavily affect her mood at first but again, over time, the effect lessens. She never truly stops being affected by them and they never truly stop. Sometime she dreams about what actually happened, and sometimes her mind makes up alternate. She has woken with a start, woken normally but disturbed, woken screaming, woken crying. In a few short hours, she lost everyone and everything but the clothes on her back, and she is scarred from that for the rest of her life.

Roslyn doesn’t start to really have nightmares until she sees how far Eobard is falling into his obsession with The Flash. She dreams often of him turning on them, or leaving them. Little does she know their daughter Melody also dreams of him killing them. This is an additional strain on her marriage to him, particularly when he begins to say and do things she thought she had only dreamed. She is watching her husband and the love of her life descend into madness and she is helpless to stop it.

Original Post:

Get to know my character

Reblog this so your followers can spam your ask box. Have fun! ♥

01. What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded? 02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness? 03. What would be their favorite physical trait about themselves? 04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical) 05. Are they sexually confident or more of the shy type? 06. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying? 07. Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)? 08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it? 09. Do they have a favorite season? What about a favorite holiday? 10. Is your character more feminine or masculine? 11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage? 12. Is there some particular talent, skill, or attribute that they simply could not give up? 13. What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Blanket stealer? One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker? 14. Do they live alone or with family? How do they feel about their family/roommates? 15. Is there a certain person in this world that they cannot stand? The very mention of this person’s name makes them tremble with anger or fear. 16. Is your character the athletic type or more of a couch potato? What are some sports/games that they like? 17. Does your character have dreams of getting married and/or having children? 18. What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode? 19. Would your character be the kind to get into fights? (physical or verbal) Would they be a good fighter or cave in rather easily? 20. Does your character like animals? What are some of their favorite animals? Would they want pets? What about mythological creatures? 21. What is one of your character’s biggest fears? How would they react when dealing with this fear? 22. What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have? 23. What is your character like when it comes to school? What subjects are they good/bad at? Do they get in trouble a lot or are well behaved? 24. In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like? 25. Is there something traumatic from your character’s past that greatly affects them even to this day? 26. What is their lover like sexually? How do they feel about their lover’s quirks, needs, etc? 27. If your character was going to get arrested, what would be the most likely reason for it? 28. If your character became a celebrity, what would they be famous for? 29. What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one? 30. When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like? 31. Would your character be the kind capable of killing? Would they enjoy killing or only use it when necessary or, perhaps, refuse to kill no matter what? 32. If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do? 33. If your character wanted to be alone, where would they go? 34. Does your character have favorite foods? (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, etc) 35. Is your character afraid of death? If they got to choose how to die, how would they want to go? 36. Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life? 37. What are some of your character’s pet peeves? What are some things that annoy them or disgust them? 38. What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc? 39. When people look at your character, is there some assumption they might make about them just by appearance? Is that assumption correct? 40. Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others? 41. Does your character’s family affect your character in any way? 42. Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change? 43. Does your character have a switch that changes aspects of their personality whether they are around friends, family, etc. Is there someone who gets to see their true self? 44. Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character? 45. Is your character the kind to hide their true emotions or do they wear their heart on their sleeve?

46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover? 47. Is your character outgoing? Would they be the leader of the friend group, or the quiet one that gets dragged along? 48. Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious? 49. What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood? 50. If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say?

1 note · View note

kaitkerrigan · 6 years

Text

RUN AWAY WITH ME : Texas, Alabama, Mississippi, California

It’s daunting to dive into a song that everyone knows. The “hit”. Will the song survive explication? Will explaining it will make it less good? I channel my inner fangirl, pretend I’m not myself (the person who ran through all of the various options of how the lyrics could play out, who knows all the other forks in the road of the lyric), and I realize the answer is “no”. So as the creator, I take a deep breath and say, ok, my tumbleweeds, you asked for it.

Literally. I conducted a super formal poll this week on Twitter and over 200 people voted and 40% wanted to know more about “Run Away with Me”. Trust me, i was with the “Last Week’s Alcohol” camp. LWAers, I’m coming for you.

I think the reason I feel hesitant about this song is because I feel like I’ve said all of it before. I’ve taught it in master classes. I’ve written countless emails to college seniors who have decided to use it for senior showcases. I’ve watched videos of senior showcase mashups like this pairing with “Prelude to an Angry Young Man” by Billy Joel to showcase a young man’s dancing abilities.

“Run Away with Me” has been around the block. It’s had its fair share of interpretations. What could I possibly say that you don’t already know?

ORIGIN

“Run Away with Me” was a song without a hook when it first appeared. I remember Brian playing a truly relentless melody on my aunt’s piano. The scansion was something like this:

"Let me be your ride, let me be your home, Let me be your favorite place We can make a life, we can find a road, we can drive like life is a race. Texas in a car, Kansas on a bus, long as it’s highway and us. Throw away the key. Run away with me.

I found it exhausting - this relentless energy of someone who is determined to connect. It was catchy as hell but busy and unappealing when you put words on it. I put together some dummy lyrics (we learned about those in “Say the Word”) to prove that the music didn’t work as well with lyrics on it. (These are not those lyrics. I mocked these up from memory. The rhythm really was very catchy.)

Brian cleared it out. He asked if a version that went like this:

“DA da DA da DA da da DA”

felt any better. It did. And that’s how we found the scansion that ultimately became,

“Let me be your ride out of town. Let me be the place that you hide.”

It did feel better. It felt doable. I didn’t have the same instinct that I had towards “Say the Word”. I didn’t hear the music and cry. But Brian knew that he’d hit something sticky and he was determined to find where this song fit in the show. He was determined it was for Adam. He thought it came late in the show - an 11 o’clock number. He knew nothing else.

When we found the phrase “Run away with me” the song clicked in for me. I don’t remember a lot about the process of coming up with the hook but I remember a lot about writing the lyrics.

I discovered Adam’s voice in writing this song, but it also felt like it already existed. There was something I always knew and loved about Adam. It was borne of watching boys in college who were in love with my supremely complicated and high strung female friends. It’s not to say they weren’t smart - some of them were very smart - but they weren’t molded the way my female friends were. I was surrounded by women who had chosen, at 18, to go to an all-women’s college. That requires a certain kind of cognition about the world around you. Many of these women dated men but were loud, proud feminists. They were grappling with their relationship with romance, with being “swept off your feet”, with the uneasy comfort of feeling protected by a boy who can’t protect you because you are too smart to believe that such protection exists.

Writing Adam, and this song in particular, was an act of grieving for the kind of girl I would never be. I would never fall for easy romance like the kind a sweet boy like Adam would offer me.

WHEN IN DOUBT, TAKE A SHOWER

I hit my first real flight of inspiration - a visit from Elizabeth Gilbert’s “genius” (if you haven’t watched her TED Talk, do) - as a lyricist in this song. You can also call it getting lucky.

This song is the reason I believe in taking showers when you’re stuck. It’s a more concentrated formula of my general antidote for “writer’s block”, which is something I refuse to acknowledge. Acknowledging writer’s block is a self-fulfilling prophesy. Its existence is in your mind to begin with, so your conjuring of it confirms its existence. My mom calls it “gathering periods”. Everyone has times when they need take in culture, writing, inspiration. You can’t ONLY write. You won’t have anything to write about. Sometimes you have to breathe and take in other people’s creative output.

That said, deadlines are deadlines and you’ve got to get your work done. Rather than say, “I’m spent / I’ll never write again”, you say, “I need a shower.” Or I need to vacuum. Or I need to go for a run (I should say this - I never say this). I had spent the morning chipping away at the chorus and the second verse of this song, when I stopped to take a shower. While I was washing my hair, I came up with the entire bridge - lyric and music and rhythm and everything. It appeared to me like a glorious all-inclusive vacation to Hawaii.

I wrote it down, dripping water on my bedroom floor. Sometimes you get lucky.

TECHNICAL STUFF

Above is a little cheat sheet. If you ever want to sing this song and you don’t want to screw up the words, I suggest you look at it. Musical Theater singers don’t always think about song structure and that’s a shame. It’s a tool in your tool belt (like learning to read music - or at minimum learn how to fake it - I’ll save that soapbox for another day). Without understanding structure, you’re stuck memorizing a song from start to finish and you’re bound to screw it up. With song structure, you can look at the way it’s built and say, OH, look at the sections that are the same. Look at the ones that are different.

Most importantly, if you ever have to sing this song and you have a music stand - THIS IS TRUE WHETHER OR NOT YOU HAVE THE MUSIC IN FRONT OF YOU - write down on a piece of paper in massive letters:

TEXAS ALABAMA MISSISSIPPI CALIFORNIA

I cannot tell you the number of top-rate performers I’ve given this advice to. The ones who do it, never go up on lyrics. The ones who don’t ALWAYS DO. Trust me. It’s the least I can offer after not giving you a single bit of help in the lyric itself. It’s not alphabetical or even east-to-west. (My personal way of remembering is that Texas and California are easy to remember and the middle two are in alphabetical order. I’ll give a prize to someone who comes up with a good pneumonic - (Tell Adam M[?] C[?]??). It is just the worst. Don’t be proud. Be smart. WRITE IT DOWN.

It’s not entirely my fault. In my first draft, the lyrics to each chorus were the same. You can thank Joe Church, Brian’s composition teacher (and my de facto composition teacher while Brian was at NYU), for the devilishly hard lyrics in the choruses. He pointed out (and I do think he was right) that the character needed to keep upping his ante over the course of the song. I think it’s one of the song’s great charms.

I went back and looked at the chorus again and it’s a weird one. It’s not like looking at baby pictures. I’m not embarrassed by this song but could I make the decisions I made back then if I were writing lyrics for this now? Look at this crazy rhyme scheme!

By “crazy rhyme scheme”, I mean almost-no-rhyme scheme; I mean barest possible minimum rhyme scheme. Please give me the pleasure of enumerating the rhymes for you:

Kerouac / back and key / me.

FIN.

How is that ok?? Why does that work?? I’ll tell you. It’s two-fold. 1. character. 2. proximity.

1. Character

Here I go again. Broken record. Write in character.

Adam works in his dad’s tire shop. He’s not literary. He’s not “smart”. This doesn’t mean he’s an idiot. Emotionally, he’s swimming in the depths. He’s empathetic. He’s kind. He’s generous. He’s really just about everything a person could ask for but he’s not a brainiac.

If you had the unabashed pleasure of seeing Jay Armstrong Johnson perform Adam in The Mad Ones, you know what a breath of fresh air Adam is. He has a beautiful soul, but he’s the butt of jokes. Sam loves him but she doesn’t take him particularly seriously. When he says “I’m not good with words”, it’s important that you believe him. He’s not. But he’s trying. He’s trying to meet her where she lives. He’s using her references. He’s speaking her language. He’s a foreigner in a foreign land.

Making him a “rhymer” would be all kinds of wrong. He’s not witty. He tries to be. He says things like “Texas in the summer is cool”, which a Tumblr fan from Texas pointed out is just not true. But Adam’s nervous. He’s trying. He’s saying things that are lame. He can’t say “Texas in the summer is cool” four times over the course of the song, because he realizes that it’s not true as soon as it comes out of his mouth. It was a dumb joke. He has to try new tactics. His tactics aren’t working.

In his perfect world, he would have sung “run away with me” once, and Sam would have said, “Ok” and they’d go. In a perfect world, he wouldn’t have to say anything. He would fix her flat tire. He would work hard to make her comfortable. But he’s living in the planet of Sam’s grief. Her empathy is turned off. She hadn’t thought of Adam and what he wanted or needed or how he was trying to connect to her in a long time. She’s whirling in the new information that he would be change what he wants (stability, to run his dad’s business) for her. She doesn’t know how to respond and so he’s left floundering in a sea of his own words.

2. Proximity

Hot tip. If you want to make it ok that you’re not rhyming a lot, rhyme close together. I am getting so much mileage out of “Jack Kerouac, looking back”. After five lines of no rhyme, you get two rhymes 3 syllables apart. Internal rhymes make up for writing a character who isn’t clever. It allows the writer to still exert some control over the lyric, some order in the face of a character’s chaos. In terms of character, it gives a sense of someone gaining momentum. Adam’s finally gaining traction. After five statements that go nowhere -

“Let me be your ride out of town. [new thought] Let me be the place that you hide. [new thought] We can make our lives on the go. [new thought] Run away with me. [new thought] Texas in the summer is cool. [ new thought] We’ll be on the road like Jack Kerouac looking back, Sam, you’re ready, let’s go anywhere. [building on that thought] Get the car packed and throw me the key. Run away with me.”

The first rhyme (Kerouac / back) is an indicator that he’s heading somewhere. He’s finding some textual rhythm. By the end of the chorus, he’s managed to put together a bit of a thesis - a little serve and return (key / me).

It gives him the courage to go on in spite of Sam’s silence. The whole song is about Sam’s silence. It’s about him getting so caught up in it in spite of her lack of response, trying to build a vision for what they could have together. You’ve been there, right? Those moments where it feels like if you just keep talking, you won’t have to face the possibility that you won’t be met halfway?

Time and time again, I read comments on YouTube and elsewhere: “I wish my name was Sam. I’d run away with you.” It’s essential that Adam’s desire for Sam is genuine and romantic and that his enthusiasm is infectious. You have to want her to want to go. But in the context of the show, you have to know that it will never work. She will never be able to say yes to him. She doesn’t know that before the song begins but by the time it ends, his fate is sealed. This isn’t actually a song about romance. Not for Sam. For Sam, who we’ve spent the last 75 minutes examining, this moment is filled with dread. You’re watching someone you love say all the things that make it impossible for you to be together.

I remember - after writing this song - having dinner with a guy I was dating. He wanted to take our relationship to the next stage and I met a simple question he asked me with silence and panic. He said “I just wanted you to say that we’d work out any of the problems.” I didn’t realize until he said it that I was creating hurdles for our relationship because I didn’t want to stay in the relationship but I also didn’t have the heart to tell him that I wasn’t thinking about forever. I was looking for my exit strategy. Just because you’re not right for each other doesn’t mean that you want to hurt the other person.

Of course the irony is that that’s exactly how you hurt someone. Sam is a classic introvert. She keeps everything to herself. She processes in her head (that’s the whole show). The sequel to The Mad Ones would be a whole hell of a lot of uncomfortable silence-filled conversations with the ones she leaves behind.

“ROMEO IS CALLING FOR JULIET”: A NAIL IN A COFFIN

You’re Adam. You’re not a brainiac. You say “Romeo is calling for Juliet” and you mean that you love her. You mean that she’s your soulmate.

Now you’re Sam. You’re analytical and literal and literary. You hear “Romeo is calling for Juliet”. You hear that you’re star-crossed, that you’re doomed.

Adam doesn’t know that when he says it but he feels the failure of his metaphor. All of his metaphors build a case against him. He talks about On the Road because Sam loves that book, because she romanticizes driving across the country, much like Sal does in On the Road. But Sal’s journey is solitary and obsessed not with Mary Lou (or any of the other women Sal sleeps with) but with Dean, his best friend. Sam is the same way.

INGENUE

I think a lot about ingenues in the musicals I write. How could I not? It’s a huge trope in musical theater, more in than in any other genre. There are even vocal registers that feel more “ingenue”. I grew up in high school, college, and community theater playing ingenues. I was the daughter, the wife, the literal ingenue in City of Angels.

I also identified with ingenues in movies. I liked them plucky but I always wanted them to get the guy - or, let’s be honest - I wanted the guy to get them.

Now, I only write ingenues when I can turn the idea on its head. Sam is not an ingenue. The story begins when her naïveté has been lost. If we told this story from the perspective from the beginning of her senior year, she would be the ingenue, but we tell the story from her moment before her rebellion. We are chronicling her journey away from ingenue.

Brian and I joked through the rehearsal process that our ingenue is actually Adam. But by definition #2, it’s pretty accurate. Ingenues are often only in the love plot of a musical. They generally have one great song in a show but someone else (a man traditionally) gets to be involved in the multi-plot of a show. Harold Hill pursues Marion, whose role is contained to her utility to his plot - his moral opposite, but Harold is involved in SEVERAL plots. Sarah has her dogmatic beliefs (also a moral opposite to Sky) but it’s Sky Masterson who transforms through his relationship with her and his connection to the gambling plot. Rosemary literally sings about how she will be happy to keep her husband’s dinner warm, while Finch climbs the ladder to success and falls in love in the most perfunctory way possible. (These are all shows that are structurally genius pieces of theater, by the way, they just suck when it comes feminine stereotypes.)

Adam is really happy with their static relationship. He doesn’t actually want anything else. He makes a big sacrifice by trying to imagine what Sam wants, and in order to pull her out of her grief, tries to give it to her. It’s an act of sacrifice and empathy. And he’s right. She does need to run away. Just not with him. And it takes him naming the idea for her to realize exactly what she needs.

Do you see what I love Adam? I wonder if men who wrote female ingenues felt the same way? You’re creating an idealized version of what the other sex should be so that your flawed (read: interesting) protagonist can grapple with the world around them. The exciting thing about creating this character was the attempt to manipulate the audience enough so that the audience would love him as much as I do but feel how deeply wrong it would be for Sam to say yes.

Miscellaneous Questions You Have Asked

Can I (a guy) pretend Sam is a boy and sing this song?

Why not? The “wife” line is a little weirder but I can justify it. There are a couple other pop versions of lyrics that are more generic that might be useful to you if you go that route.

Why are there pop lyrics to this song?

We love this song and we wanted more people to be able to cover it. The use of “Sam” in the lyric feels essential in the show. It makes the lyric feel more insistent. Out of context, it feels a little theatery. I like theater - don’t get me wrong - but the rest of the song doesn’t feel that way so it kind of takes you out of the song if you’re not listening in the context of the show. I like the pop lyrics to the song. You should feel free to use them anytime. Though, in an audition, I’d revert to the original lyrics. Immediacy / theatricality / insistence are your friend there.

Why does Adam say “let me be the place that you hide”? I got this question specifically from someone when I was soliciting questions. It must have been on Twitter because I can’t find it on Tumblr. I hope that the rest of this post helps illuminate the character broadly enough that this already feels clearer. It’s a problematic idea, isn’t it? It comes back to Adam offering comfort, offering protection, offering something that Sam might want but is ultimately wrong for her.

Can I record “Run Away with Me”?

Yes. Because it’s already been professionally recorded by us, by Josh Young, by Aaron Tveit, and Dwayne Britton (maybe others?), anyone can get the mechanical rights to record through Harry Fox. Huzzah!

Why are there so many versions of the final riffs and release of “Run Away with Me”?

When you get the chance to workshop a song as long as we have, you get to really hone what you want out of it. If you’re in doubt about whether or not you’re singing the most updated version, check out Ben Fankhauser’s version on Playbill. This is the one we went into production with in fall 2017.

Can a girl sing “Run Away with Me”?

Hell yeah. Carrie Manolakos covers it on our live album and it’s pretty sick, and here’s a new video of Emma Hunton’s take on it. You didn’t know how much you wanted this.

youtube

#run away with me behind the lyrics the mad ones #run away with me #kerrigan lowdermilk #behind the lyrics #The mad ones #songwriting #lyric writing #musical theater #new musical theater #romeo and juliet #on the road #the unauthorized autobiography of samantha brown

94 notes · View notes

lefilmdujour · 7 years

Text

500th movie celebration

Last month I have quietly passed the 500th movie landmark on my Tumblr, so I decided to make a post with text instead of pictures for a change.

Five and a half years ago, I have decided to create a Tumblr, my own personal space where I would upload film frames, mostly so I could remember all the many movies I watch. By associating an image to a title, it helps to maintain my mind fresh and pinpoint exactly why I loved or despised a certain movie, linking them to the people I have watched them with and the surrounding circumstances.

The criteria is simple but methodical: no more than one post per day, all films I watch are represented even if I am ashamed of having spent time with them, all films are represented only once regardless of the amount of times I’ve re-watched them throughout the existence of the Tumblr.

I like to watch Artsy Avant Garde movies. Trash movies. 80′s “classics”. 70′s sleaze. Documentaries, a whole lot of them. Surrealism. Nouvelle Vague. The occasional Hollywood blockbuster. Skin. I usually get complaints from people about the amount of nudity represented in the Tumblr.

Movies, regardless of how bad they are to the viewer, always mean something special to someone, so I respect them all.

To celebrate the 500th movie landmark, I decided to pick 50 of the ones that evoke the most vivid memories in me. Quality and circumstance were the deciding factors. Random order. I recommend them all.

The Virgin Spring (Ingmar Bergman) - An inspirational exercise on mythology, symbolism, and pacing.

Philanthropy (Nae Caranfil) - Romanian New Wave is my latest passion. This one is a highlight. A very entertaining tutorial on how to scam and be scammed.

Wings of Desire (Wim Wenders) - Poetry in motion. Falling in love every day.

The World is Big and Salvation Lurks Around the Corner (Stefan Komandarev) - A road movie, on a bicycle. Friendship, memory gaps, backgammon.

The Red Turtle (Michael Dudok de Wit) - If a movie makes me cry, it goes to the favorites bucket. The story is simple, the animation is fluid, the outcome is expected. Yet, its message is always powerful.

The Imposter (Bart Layton) - More than a very compelling story of deception and manipulation, this documentary shines due to its brilliant editing. Made me feel pity, anger, compassion and repulse, often at the same time.

American Movie (Chris Smith) - If you love movies, then you cannot skip this documentary about a film director who makes his life mission to finish his crap movie, despite lack of funds, means, and talent. Funny and heartfelt. Highly quotable.

Mustang (Deniz Gamze Ergüven) - Growing up as a woman in traditional Turkey. A feminist look on a closed society. Beautifully shot.

Mad Max Fury Road (George Miller) - A throwback to a time when action movies were being made with a sense of movement and a requirement for suspension of disbelief. Amazing cinematography, highlighted in the recent “Black & Chrome” edition.

Nights of Cabiria (Federico Fellini) - The fruitless search for true love. Finding it, losing it, finding it again, losing it again, getting up, trying again. “Everything I’ve ever let go of has claw marks in it”.

Bicycle Thieves (Vitorio de Sicca) - A masterpiece. The importance of a bicycle as an instrument of survival in 40′s Italy. Puts things into perspective. Nothing can be taken for granted.

Underground (Emir Kusturica) - In my opinion, the greatest Kusturica movie. The sad story of a country that no longer exists.

The Hourglass Sanatorium (Wojciech Jerzy Has) - A very surreal experience where time and space are meaningless. Living in a lucid dream.

Despair (Rainer Werner Fassbinder) - The only Fassbinder movie I ever watched to date. I always want to watch more of him, but somehow keep forgetting. This movie makes justice to it’s title, despair creeps in slowly, but overwhelmingly by its end.

Mary and Max (Adam Elliot) - A claynimation film about friendship and mental health. Funny and melancholic. People should write letters to their friends more.

Blue is the Warmest Color (Abdellatif Kechiche) - A beautiful love story.

The Grand Budapest Hotel (Wes Anderson) - Twee as fuck, like all Anderson’s movies. This man can do no wrong.

Blue Jasmine (Woody Allen) - I have a special interest in movies related with mental health. The last great Woody Allen movie to date.

Grave of the Fireflies (Isao Takahata) - I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I claim that this is the saddest movie ever made. It took me days to recover from the emotional impact it left in me. War makes victims of us all.

Teorema (Pier Paolo Pasolini) - What would you do if you have been touched and subsequently abandoned by Divinity? The final scene is one of my all time favorites.

Forbidden Fruit (Dome Karukoski) - Two girls escape from a oppressive religious cult and experience life for the first time. The scene when one of the girls watches a movie for the first time, in a theater, left a good memory in me.

Forbidden Zone (Richard Elfman) - I like musicals too! This one in particular was scored by Danny Elfman, who also plays the devil in its most memorable scene. A weird freakout of a movie. Specially recommend the colorized version that adds up to the surreal atmosphere.

Enter the Void (Gaspar Noé) - To be seen on a big screen with the best speakers money can buy. Intense psychedelic experience. Stay on the safe side, remain sober while watching this one.

My Best Fiend (Werner Herzog) - I find most of Herzog’s documentaries to be very relaxing. Not this one. Klaus Kinski was a fabled asshole. Werner Herzog is an eccentric lunatic. How these two geniuses managed to work together without killing each other (although both came very close to it) is definitely documentary material. An intense story about friendship, respect, and guttural hate.

The Big Lebowski (Joel Coen & Ethan Coen) - My favorite Coen brothers film. The week from hell on an otherwise quiet and unremarkable life. Improves with repeated viewings.

Mulholland Drive (David Lynch) - Spent years analyzing and trying to make sense out of this movie. I only understood it upon giving up on my quest. My favorite Lynch movie.

Female Convict Scorpion: Jailhouse 41 (Shunya Itō) - 70′s Meiko Kaji is a Goddess. A talent wasted in exploitation movies. Her eyes talk louder than all of the movies’s dialogue. This film is a Pink Women-in-Prison Japanese cheap thrill on surface, but the amount of symbolism and surrealism adds weight to a paper-thin plot. And the title song was borrowed to Tarantino’s Kill Bill. Truly one of my favorite movies ever.

Battleship Potemkin (Sergei Eisenstein) - Soviet Propaganda? Yes. Compelling gut-wrenching story? Yes. Cinematic masterpiece? Yes. Regardless on how you feel about the topic, there is no question that the Odessa steps sequence is a work of art.

The Holy Mountain (Alejandro Jodorowsky) - Watch in on psychedelics, or don’t bother.

Heima (Dean deBlois) - A documentary about Sigur Rós’ return to Iceland. Even for people who are not fans of the band, the landscape is undeniably beautiful.

Django Unchained (Quentin Tarantino) - I am finding the latest Tarantino efforts to be a tad boring on repeated viewings. I usually love them when I see them on cinema, but then abandon them half-way when I try to watch them at home. But this one passed the home test, so it gets my thumbs up!

Disquiet (João Botelho) - Squeezing in a Portuguese movie due for national pride reasons. Not that I care much about those things. But I believe more people should watch this movie. The dialogue is lifted from my favorite poetry book, written by Fernando Pessoa. Heavy, dark, contemplative narrative.

Baraka (Ron Fricke) - There is a particular documentary style associated with both Ron Fricke and Godfrey Reggio that I find very appealing. Visual snapshots of people in their homelands. The silent contrast between traditional and modern. And the omnipresent feeling that all life is meaningless and mankind is a just a random occasion on a ball floating in space. Baraka is the best of all.

Rashomon (Akira Kurosawa) - There is nothing in the World like Kurosawa’s samurai movies, and no better samurai than Toshiro Mifune. Rashomon rises above the other excellent Kurosawa movies by its symbolism and usage of light. A murder story told by four different characters. The truth is somewhere in between the lies.

Dogtooth (Yorgos Lanthimos) - A perverse tale of innocence and isolation.

Gomorra (Matteo Garrone) - Disturbing stories from Napoli’s crime underworld. Realistically shot, no sugar coating, no happy endings, no poetic criminals.

Kids (Larry Clark) - I had this one on VHS, a double feature that also included Trainspotting. Found memories attached to this movie, I saw the actors as a parallel to the kids in my street. Several of the participants in the movie are dead or living miserable lives nowadays. Just like the street kids from my youth.

A Woman Under the Influence (John Cassavetes) - It is not easy to get into this director. And this is a psychological scarring movie. The audience is led to descend into madness like its main character.

Down by Law (Jim Jarmusch) - “I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.”

Daisies (Vera Chytilová) - My most popular post for some reason. An excellent, imaginative, innovative, playful, senseless fun movie to watch.

Taste of Cherry (Abbas Kiarostami) - A man’s quest to end his life. The ultimate taboo.

Black Orpheus (Marcel Camus) - Greek Mythology meets Brazilian Slum. A wonderful, poetic ending makes up for some dull parts in between. Excellent soundtrack!

The Cabinet of Dr Caligari (Robert Wiene) - Insane expressionist film with lovely painted backdrops that add a sense of depth and misdirection to its scenes. Timeless movie experience!

Amélie (Jean-Pierre Jeunet) - Modern Fairy tale. Inspirational. Makes me want to enjoy life more.

Oldboy (Park Chan-Wook) - Part of the Vengeance trilogy, I picked Oldboy because I now realize that I haven’t seen Sympathy for Lady Vengeance again ever since I started this Tumblr. Both films are excellent tales of twisted revenge. Oldboy’s fight scene has inspired a generation of copycats.

Spring Summer Fall Winter... And Spring (Kim Ki-duk) - Episodes of the life of a Buddhist monk, from childhood to old age. The wheel of life and rebirth. As Buddhist as it gets.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (Terry Gilliam) - This got me into Hunter Thompson. There’s no such thing as too much drugs.

Battle Royale (Kinji Fukasaku) - A high school class is taken to a remote island and instructed to kill each other until only one survives. Classic 80′s video game plot, tickles the nostalgia bone just right without resolving to remakes and rehashes. Incredibly fun!

House (Nobuhiko Ôbayashi) - A horror movie, a comedy, a fever dream, an art-house lysergic extravaganza. Don’t know what to make of this movie, just that watching it is an amusing experience.

Band of Outsiders (Jean-Luc Godard) - I love all Anna Karina’s movies with Godard, so it’s hard to pick one. I went with Band of Outsiders because of its dance sequence. Godard had fun while experimenting with filming techniques, and this feeling is contagious to the audience.

Thanks for reading and sticking around.

#50 movies #yay me #movie recommendation

3 notes · View notes

setoangel01-fanfiction · 7 years

Text

Happy Valentine’s Day, Ash

Fandom: Sing 2016

Pairing: Johnny x Ash (Jash)

Rated: T

Chapter Summary: Johnny takes Ash out for Valentine's Day to cheer her up - things go a bit differently than either of them expected.

Fanfiction.net

A03

"You didn't have to do this." Ash reiterated for what may as well have been the thousandth time that night.

"I know, but I wanted to." Johnny answered exactly like he had all those aforementioned times before.

Ash bit her bottom lip in a failed attempt at ignoring the strange glance she'd received from the waitress who had to wait for her to put the glass down before refilling her soda. Once the dark substance reached the brim, Ash reached over; grabbing the cold drink in her hand and taking a long swig of the sweet liquid if only to ignore the look Johnny was giving her over his menu. She adjusted in her seat; plaid red dress itched like fucking crazy and she regretted allowing the guy across from her to convince her to wear it.

Rolling her eyes a bit at his curious glance in reaction to her movement, Ash put aside those notions when she looked at him again. Begrudgingly having to admit he looked very nice if a bit out of place. Bright red button up shirt, black tie and jeans were a far cry from his normal green sweater and signature leather jacket.

Pushing that distracting thought aside, Ash grabbed a roll and began nibbling on the buttery bread as she tried to forget that she was even here and why she even agreed to this at all…

For clarity's sake, today was the most dreaded holiday of all -

Valentine's Day.

Even when she was still with Lance, she hated February 14th almost as much as she hated any other commercial garbage. Suffice to say, her ex was never one to be romantic in the least - didn't buy her cards, flowers, chocolates or any other cliche shit like the cheap asshole he was. The most he ever did for the holiday was reluctantly foot the bill for their cheap dinner at the local fast food joint down the street.

For Ash, Valentine's Day was yet just another day in her hellish life with a boyfriend who never cared for her one bit.

It didn't help in the least having to see all the happy couples smooching and hugging. Girls with their bouquets of flowers and big boxes of candy that constantly surrounded her that day even when Lance would barely hold her hand in public. Mostly walking one step in front of her to assert his idea of dominance and bring the point home, that according to him, she was merely backup.

Of course, it didn't mean she exactly wanted those cheesy things but it would be nice to feel somewhat appreciated at least occasionally - even if it was only one lousy day a year to be treated as more than just his hot little background singer - but that wasn't the case for her.

To make a long story short - Valentine's Day meant jack squat to her.

For some odd reason, she'd been even less happy since post-Lance and post-competition. Ash thought she'd feel more independent and empowered by this point. Treat herself to a nice dinner and buy her own damn box of chocolate to bury her sorrows in but she found herself skirting away from that idea almost as quickly as it infiltrated her subconscious. Ash preferred to sit alone in her apartment like a sad sack; watching anything that didn't have to do with the couple's holiday…

That is until Johnny knocked on her door (in practically a suit mind you) and asked her to join him for dinner.

Ash just stood there blinking at him for a long time until it dawned on her that the gorilla was indeed as serious as a heart attack. Yeah, it wasn't the first time they went out as friends but it being the holiday where couples go out to eat and such rubbed her the wrong way. Suffice it to say, it wasn't as if she didn't think about Johnny in that way - even she'd reluctantly admit, under the threat of death only, that she had a bit of a crush on him.

But that was the thing - Who didn't?

Hell, even their resident powerhouse, Meena, had a blatantly obvious crush on him that Johnny either didn't notice or ignored. Ash believed it was the former even if it was obvious she was like a little sister to him. Point was - everyone's eyes typically lingered a bit too long in most cases when the guy would perform - he drew attention by either singing with that powerful soulful drawl or doing nothing more than being his normal sweet self.

Johnny seemed to have his own gravitational pull.

In the long run, it would be easier to find a person who didn't have a crush on the guy.

Johnny just oozed positivity and gentleness - who wouldn't be completely attracted to that?! He was basically the perfect boyfriend/husband material bundled with good looks and the sweetest demeanor you could ask for.

So, who cared if he made her heart flutter and palms sweat; knees go weak when he was around. Gentle, soothing voice calming her like nothing else could. The way he always had such kind things to say and always worried for her welfare when no one else had given much a crap about her before…

…that didn't mean anything…did it?

Ash would even admit that he was the whole package - handsome, fit, kind, gentle, sweet, and had a gorgeous accent and voice (not to mention a nice ass) to boot but after her prick of an ex made her life a living hell, she wasn't exactly willing to throw herself back in the market again so soon.

Lance's betrayal still felt far too fresh to just jump right back into the dating scene.

Ash decided that she would rather explore who exactly she was first - spend some time on herself and learning to be alone for a change - but sadly, that didn't help either. She found herself depressed within months after their last concert and during the rebuilding; the music and songs she wrote leaning onto much darker subjects and feelings she'd suppressed a lot of during the competition. Betrayal, heartache, and pain she still had to work on getting out but it had gotten to the point where even Buster had noticed this was way beyond her typical teenage angst. Against everything she wanted, he suggested taking a break to "re-evaluate her life" as he called it. That koala was as honest and salty as they came.

The week off was probably the worst idea ever.

Holing herself up in her apartment and being forced to think about the sad state of her emotional status. After her writing and singing "Set It All Free", having a good career and friend's support, and especially and being rid of the toxic bastard for good, she thought she'd be in a better place emotionally.

Yet now she had to deal with the fact that since she wasn't now allowed to go to the theater, she couldn't just ignore all the calls pouring into her phone. Blocking his number didn't even help for now that she was home, Lance started showing up unannounced to her apartment at all hours of the day and night, which was sure to drive anyone up the wall.

It wasn't exactly Lance just being there and knocking like crazy - it was what he began to say through the door that angered her more than anything…

"I know you're in there!"

"Ash, babe, c'mon, I said I was sorry. How many times you gonna make me say it?"

"Let me in - I promise, we'll just talk."

"Give me another chance - I even got rid of Becky for you!"

"You did one freakin' concert! Even if you got your 15 minutes of fame and some decent gigs, you'll still never find anyone better than me…"

That last one killed her yet she never bothered to dignify him with an answer.

Ash abhorrently loathed the certainty and smugness in his voice that made her want to swing open her door and punch his stupid face in. How dare he insinuate that she of all people needed a douche-nozzle like him back in her life…

She reasoned with herself that Lance's latest reappearance yesterday was the only reason she agreed to Johnny today. She desperately clung to that connotation even as she dug out the only red dress (per his request) from her closet. She threw it on without even bothering to put on make-up or wearing a decent pair of shoes all while he waited for her in the living room.

Johnny still didn't seem to care about her lack of trying when she walked out of her bedroom.

Instead, he just smiled at her like normal before taking her to one of the nicest restaurants in town without nary a word on her haggard appearance…

"What are you thinking of ordering?" Johnny's pleasant accent infiltrated her ears, suddenly breaking her out of her inner turmoil.

Ash shrugged.

"I dunno…it's all kinda expensive." Ash finally said - her frugal nature dying a hard death as she stared at the double digits of all the entrees. She had to spend wisely to scrounge by while Lance wasted her hard-earned money. Her ex was like a sponge; forcing her to work menial jobs to get by on rent, bills, etc. Causing her to always be the responsible one; saving every single penny to survive - now here comes Johnny willing to shell out big bucks just to make her feel special on this shitty holiday wasn't making her decision any easier.

"I told you - no looking at the prices. It's my treat." he said and the sugary sweetness leaching out of his mouth made her teeth ache.

Ash just "hmm'ed" in response; re-reading the specials before landing on something she'd been craving for awhile. A dish she used to get when her parents (when they were still married) used to drag her to fancy restaurants like this.

"In that case, I'll get the lobster." she was halfway teasing just to see the horrified expression on his face from the mention of a $40 entree, but it backfired.

Johnny just smiled; his canines on proud display as he nodded at her choice.

"Sounds good."

"...Seriously?" she couldn't help but mutter out, almost choking on a piece of dinner roll in the process.

"Yeah. You should definitely get that. I've never been fond of seafood but lobster is delicious - from what I remember anyway. Only had it once as a lad still living in England." he spoke like he did all the time. Accent airy, light, sweet and always finished with a fabulous smile.

God, this guy drove her freakin' crazy sometimes…

Ash's eyes were wide and shocked but Johnny didn't seem to mind as he went back to glance across the menu. She was about to say something but the waitress returned before she could utter a single syllable.

"How is everything so far?" the waitress asked, giving her a half grin before she purposefully gave a big, sultry smile to Johnny and for a reason unbeknownst to her, that really ticked her off more than it should have.

Ash didn't really care that countless women flirted with Johnny wherever they went…but after awhile, it began to get on her last damn nerve.

Especially considering how damn naive Johnny was to all of it…

No, she didn't exactly have the right to be mad for all intense and purposes, her and Johnny were basically "just friends" but still, when you're out to dinner with someone, especially on Valentine's Day, that should mean something. Like don't fucking make eyes at a man when he's having dinner with another girl, but apparently, this chick didn't get it. Johnny wasn't technically friend-zoned - even if she wasn't crazy about the offer of a candle at dinner or all too aware of the fact she had a chronic condition of resting bitch face - so the damn waitress shouldn't have picked up on that or assumed otherwise…

"It's great." Johnny replied, not even noticing when the employee's green eyes skirted to his body longer than what was necessary.

"Wonderful. I'm glad you're enjoying yourself." the woman said with what to Ash sounded like a purposeful innuendo…

Ash was surprised at herself; suddenly shook her head as if to rid herself of her obsessive thoughts, adamant to stay silent for she assumed she was perhaps being overly dramatic or just seeing things. But those thoughts flew out the window when the waitress suddenly caressed a slim paw across Johnny's broad shoulder as slyly as possible - as if she was shooing away a bug or something but Ash knew better.

Biting her tongue, Ash pushed those thoughts back - perhaps there was a reasonable explanation - maybe she just recognized him as the cute British-accented singer from television but the longer the cheetah glared unnecessarily long at Johnny, Ash began to further doubt it.

That look on her face was more of wanting to mount him (or the other way around) than wanting his autograph…

"So…are you ready to order?" the waitress continued with an unnecessary roll of her tongue.

Aw, hell no…

"Hey, how about we get more rolls here first?" Ash asked the tall, slim woman.

Empty bread basket dangling out of her fingers as she stared up at the woman; being sure to give her a less than pleasant smile as she interrupted whatever the flaunting bimbo was about to purr out next.

"Oh. Yes, please." Johnny intervened a lot more polite than the hussy deserved to be addressed but Ash let it go.

"Of course. I-I'll be back to take your orders." the waitress, whose name tag said Savannah, spoke before giving one last lingering glance to Johnny before she disappeared into the back room; thin tail swishing behind her. If Ash wasn't mistaken, her scrawny ass should not have been sauntering that much…

Not even aware of the dirty look she was sending the disappearing waitress til Johnny spoke up.

"Is everything alright, Ash?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah." Ash shrugged off his confused glance with a lazy smile.

Johnny didn't look all too convinced, but as usual, he just accepted it in that laid-back way of his.

"You sure you wanted more bread? You might get full before the meal even arrives."

Of course he was the level-headed reasonable one…

"Nah. I didn't eat much today, "she lied, "I can pack it in when I want to."

Dammit, why did that sound sexual? What the hell was wrong with her brain tonight?

"Alright. Whatever you say." Johnny replied with a deep chuckle tickling his throat as he placed the menu aside to take a drink of his tea. He was not helping the British stereotyping she constantly teased him about…

About to retort with a well-timed quip when Savannah returned; bread basket piled high with more rolls and she placed them gently in the middle of the table.

Ash was careful to sense a bit of irritation reeking of her in waves, yet didn't say anything as the annoyingly elegant and graceful woman pulled back to reach for her notepad.

"What can I get you?" Savannah asked, her almond shaped green eyes flicking over to Johnny.

"Ladies first." Johnny replied, gesturing to Ash and the waitress sent a smile her way even if wasn't half as bright as the one she sent Johnny earlier.

"Of course. My apologies. What may I get for you tonight, ma'am?"

Ash cringed at the moniker but answered anyway.

"I think I'll have the lobster." she requested, slipping closed the leather bound menu with a satisfying thwack. She flinched at the sudden wind in her face; she was far too used to reading off an illuminated menu at a fast food joint. This all still felt so weird…

"Alright. Roasted red potatoes and corn on the cob alright for the sides?" Savannah asked, scratching the pen lightly on her notepad; not really even bothering to spare the porcupine more than a quick glance. Ash felt the sudden desire to kick the woman in the shin.

"Yep." Ash replied, placing the menu back down before taking another languid drink of her soda. Inwardly cursing that she was still not legally old enough to drink alcohol - she'd never been more tempted to break out her fake ID more than ever tonight..

"For you, sir?"

"Um. I think I'll have the sirloin - medium well, please."

"Great choice." the waitress replied and Ash cringed at the not so subtle smile she flashed him. "What sides would you like with that?"

"They all sound so good! What would you suggest?" Johnny asked.

Why did he have to be so damn friendly?

Savannah made a big production of getting closer to him, peering over his wide shoulder before speaking, "My favorites are the garlic mashed potatoes and asparagus." she finished, languidly pointing to the options with her pen as she spoke. Her arm lingered over his a bit too long much to Ash's annoyance.

"That sounds wonderful. Let's do that." Johnny replied while handing her the menu.

Ash carefully noticed the shy smile the waitress sent him and if anything, her blood just boiled further.

"Perfect. I'll get your orders sent back. Anything else you need?"

"For you to kindly fuck off…" Ash muttered internally, the words desperate to escape but she also didn't want this chick spitting in her food or something.

"Nope. Thanks a lot." Johnny was all too accommodating with his bright white smile that the cheetah eagerly returned.

"Of course. I'll be back." she promised before disappearing into the back again.

"...don't bother, lady…" Ash muttered under her breath into another warm buttered roll.

"What?" Johnny asked. The poor naive soul.

"Nothing." Ash replied, wiping her buttery fingers on the cloth napkin atop her crumb-strewn lap. "So…you regret asking me here yet?"

The confusion and surprise on his face was almost comical, "What are you talking about, Ash? Are you not having a nice time?"

"It's alright. Not exactly my scene but-" she trailed off with a shrug and groaned at how her bothersome dress bunched up around her waist when she did so. Not even embarrassed anymore as she made a big production of yanking it down.

"It's not necessarily mine either." Johnny replied with a laugh; nervously adjusting the tie around his neck; if she knew any better, he looked rather uncomfortable in his clothes too. "B-But I thought you deserved to be treated nice today and this fit the bill - also, this was one of the only restaurants in town that still had reservations open."

As sweet as it sounded, it rubbed her the wrong way.

It felt too much like pity since she had been feeling like utter shit lately and Johnny was a good (…great…best) friend who probably picked up on that before anyone…it still didn't make it any less irksome.

"Johnny. I gotta ask you something." Ash stated before her brain could really catch up.

"Of course. Anything." he replied while taking a sip of his drink.

"Why the actual fuck are you doing this?" she asked, holding back a snort when he suddenly spat out a bit of his tea onto the table the second the curse left her lips.

"Excuse me?" he sounded so offended as he wiped off the remainder from his mouth with the white cloth napkin.

"Listen. I appreciate the sentiment, I really do. But who are we trying to kid? Even if we're making decent money now, this isn't for either of us." she said a bit louder than intended, ignoring the sudden stares of their fellow diners.

More happy couples to bother her…just peachy…

"I know that and I told you a dozen times already, I wanted to do this for you." Johnny reiterated as he had all night - displaying the same calmness he always showcased.

"You're still not answering the 'why', Johnny." Ash clarified, leaning back in her chair in hopes the earth would open up and swallow her whole. Why couldn't she just keep her mouth shut for once? She could have just eaten and enjoyed the damn lobster, but no…she had to play twenty questions instead.

"Do I need a reason to want to ask you, my best friend, out for dinner?"

Ash cringed at how he said it but answered anyway.

"'Friends' don't do this for each other. C'mon, Johnny, we've known each other for awhile now... I mean, yeah, I appreciate you trying to drag me out of my funk lately, but I don't know…I just…I don't get it - you could have asked someone else. Someone who might have appreciated it more and you could have had a lot more fun than you're probably having with me, and - " Ash tapered off, hands subconsciously reaching for another roll when Johnny suddenly reached across the table and placed his hand over hers before she even got close to the basket.

"I am having a good time with you - like I always do." he spoke clearly.

Ash froze; eyes wide as she stared at his large hand over hers; fingers enveloping her small paw and his palm felt so wonderfully warm against her slightly chilled skin.

A slightly frustrated sigh left his throat before he began to speak.

"Listen...I-I never wanted to push you, Ash." Johnny spoke; his voice escaping in a hushed whisper and she couldn't help but lock eyes with him across the table.

Ash was sorely tempted to pull her hand away; push those lingering doubts about her real feelings for Johnny aside but for some reason, her hand refused to budge. Fur prickling on the back of her neck when his thumb brushed ever so gently over the back of her hand.

"What are you talking about?" her mouth moved without her permission but the words came before she could stop them.

A part of her was terrified.

For so long, she knew where she and Johnny stood - best friends on the edge of perhaps something greater but never delving off that cliff. Instead, they hung out - going over to each others respective places to watch a movie or bum around, maybe practice a song or two, but she was not at all prepared to think of it further when Johnny suddenly let out another languid breath before continuing.

"Ash…I-I've never really hid how I've felt about you. At least, I tried to be transparent in that sense…" Johnny whispered with the barest hints of a shrug and it was so incredibly boyish that it had her heart accelerating in her chest. Feelings she cared not to ponder long arose in her and Ash bit the inside of her cheek to feel anything other than them.

Ash did not want to have this discussion.

Refused to believe the whole time how many hints Johnny always dropped. Disregarding how he never treated other girls the way he did her; even when it came to going out but she was adamant it was only as friends. Never wanting to get wrapped up into something she had no idea how to handle anymore. She didn't want another repeat of Lance - a cute guy reeling her in hook, line, and sinker. Her ending up falling for it like so many times before for the dude to just cheat on her and use her for his own selfish gain…but one thing always bothered her to acknowledge…

Johnny was not Lance.

"You know I'd never force you into anything you don't want, Ash." Johnny admitted, hand gently squeezing hers as his other scratched nervously at the back of his head. "I never wanted to be too forward or make you uncomfortable with asking you out officially so soon after your breakup. You know that's not who I am. If you want honesty, Ash, the reason I asked you here tonight is because I thought you deserved a nice Valentine's Day…" Johnny explained before his hand was gone.

For some reason, she hated how unbelievably cold she felt now - as if in those few moments she'd felt sun for the first time after a seemingly endless harsh winter…

Ash was left utterly speechless for what had to be the first time in her life.

If Lance had ever showed kindness to her, there was always another motive or he needed/wanted something in return. True unconditional kindness was nothing she was used to - didn't totally know how to handle it when people were just doing something out of the goodness of their heart. Always putting up defenses in fear of being hurt was who she had become - and for now, the walls stayed if only to preserve that part of herself.

"I…I'm sorry if it seems as if I had different intentions. I swear I did not. I didn't want you to think we have to date now or something."

"Yet you showed up at my house in a tux." Ash muttered out.

"...Perhaps I wanted to persuade you to get out of the house for a bit. I hated seeing you cooped in there since Buster banned you from the theater. I-I just wanted you to have a nice time." Johnny wasn't looking at her now, eyes steadfast on the table where he worried the cloth between his thumb and index.

"...So, is that what all those other times were too? You know, the movies, pizza at your place, and even the arcade? I don't recall being down in the dumps then…" she asked and a half-smile formed when instantly, Johnny's face flushed.

Why did he have to be so damn cute when he was embarrassed?

"Like I said before…I never wanted to push you into anything, Ash." Johnny shrugged before meeting her eyes again. "You told me how your ex never treated you right. Always pushing you to the side as if you were better in the background. I hate to say it, but when you told me that, I'd never been angrier at someone before in my entire life ."

Ash's eyes widened in utter shock and her wall began crumbling.

"For that bloody wanker to treat a beautiful lady, such as yourself, so rudely is downright despicable." Johnny spoke with such hardened conviction - even barely concealed anger - and her heart started to beat frantically against her chest when she heard it lacing that normally calm voice.

It only dawned on her now that Lance never called her beautiful - it was always just "Ash", "babe", or the worst one by far, "you're super hot" he coined only when he was really drunk.

Lance never referred her to with such refined terms…

She had little time to contemplate it further when Johnny continued to speak.

"What he did to you wasn't right and a part of why I did this was to show you how you should have been treated… Treasured. So, yes, maybe I had a bit of a selfish motive for wanting to spend this day with you…but…" Johnny tapered off; eyes once again lowering as if ashamed and it broke her fucking heart to pieces. "I-I understand if all of this is just fruitless for me and really, that's perfectly okay. I just want you to be happy, Ash. That's enough for me."

The softness he spoke with. How a true gentlemen spoke and how she never bothered to admit it before. Everything Johnny had done; whether it be calling her up at the most random times just to see how she was feeling, bringing over food or a new movie to watch on weekends. Always spending time with her to cheer her up and she did appreciate having him around her house.

The stifling loneliness actually drifted away during those times…

Now, here he was - baring a heart so pure and leaving it on the table. The ball in her court. To either just accept his friendship - Johnny would never push her for anything further. Or to see beyond the kindness he portrayed; the boy who had been perusing her for awhile without her caring to comprehend it at all. He didn't blatantly ask her for a date or kiss; just was there as a constant friend who was willing to wait for her to realize the amazing opportunity she had right in front of her this whole damn time...

As she sat there and looked at him, it seemed to hit her all in the chest at once…

What the hell was she so afraid of?

Before Ash had any time to really think of what to do, say, or even how to react, apparently her body decided for her. Seeing that sadness on Johnny's face that didn't belong whatsoever, Ash moved; desperate to erase that expression from his face as quickly as possible.

So, in this pretentious, flamboyant restaurant filled with dignified people, Ash suddenly climbed atop the table much to Johnny's (and the fellow customers) shock. Dark soda knocked over and spilling across the pearly white canvas in the process as she made her way over to Johnny.

The sound of the table jostling and glass hitting the table with a thunk caused Johnny to look up. Wide brown eyes lifted to hers in obvious confusion of what exactly was happening yet before Johnny could even utter a word out of that cute mouth of his, Ash shut him up with her own.

The shock of feeling's Johnny's mouth under hers was shocking to say the least - for damn, did it feel a helluva lot better than those previous times the unwarranted thoughts flitted through her brain. Her hands were less than gentle as she grasped onto the fur on his cheeks and tilting her head against his mouth.

Ash became instantly aware of two things in that moment - One, this had to be Johnny's first kiss for he didn't know what the hell he was doing. Two - she didn't care because it felt that amazing.

It was sloppy; his mouth completely unsure as he maneuvered to try and perfectly fit it against hers. Ash couldn't help but smile against his lips and pull him closer out of sheer need to have his warmth closer. Large hands trembled only for a second as they skirted firmly over her hips before grasping lightly onto her sides and back and holding her tight as she grasped onto him.

Ash was so lost in the sensation of his mouth that she didn't even care that her annoying dress again rode up; she was just happy she'd worn leggings.

Her quivering legs gave out after a few more moments; her knees hitting the hard table were ignored as she deepened the kiss. Ash learned yet something else in this small chunk of time - Johnny was a notoriously fast learner. She suspected if he could learn the piano that fast, his kissing skills were no different. He began returning it more intensely - seemingly uncaring they were now essentially making out in front of a group of strangers.

Neither wanted this moment to end but eventually, their kisses ebbed away to soft brushings of mouths and eventually pulling back enough to shyly glance into each others heavily-lidded eyes.

"Ash…?" Johnny muttered breathlessly; his warm breath skirting pleasantly over his face. There was so many questions in just him breathing out her name but she didn't care to answer them right now.

Instead of responding verbally to him, she leaned in to kiss him again - desperate to taste his lips again.

"Just take that as a yes." she spoke once she reluctantly pulled away and the shy smile he gave her had her chest aching in the best way.

"You mean…we can…date?" he asked.

"Would I have kissed you in a packed restaurant if I was going to say 'no'? And if it's any consolation, I never kissed Lance in public."

"I suppose not." he shrugged.

"It's a resounding yes but only on one condition, Johnny."

"Uh. Sure. Of course. What's that?"

"Never bring me here again."

"Heh." the relief that flooded his face was almost comical, "No problem. There's an awesome burger stands an uncle of mine owns that a lot better - won't empty your wallet either." he answered with a chuckle and grimace as he pulled at his tie again, "Best part - no dress code."

"Then what the hell are we doing here? Can't we just leave this stuffy, lame joint and go there?"Ash groaned; feeling now so out of place in the restaurant full of chandeliers and people in clothes that cost more than a few months of her rent. It was only now that they realized that they indeed were not the only two people in the world.

"Heh. You're right." Johnny chuckled and seemed to just now notice every single patron's eyes were still glued on the couple - including the stunned waitress standing by their table with a pitcher of tea.

"Uh… Check please." he timidly continued, face as red as a tomato and Ash couldn't help but laugh.

Walking out of that restaurant felt better than it probably should have.

No, not everything was perfect but it shaped up to be a much better day than either could have anticipated. Ash took a moment to glance up into the gray winter sky as the snowflakes began gently falling to the earth. What seemed so depressing this morning was now calm and rather beautiful to her now. Who would have thought all you needed was a little change in perspective to see the world through a whole new set of eyes?

Ash let out a breath she wasn't aware she was holding when Johnny's hand suddenly moved to grasp hers.

The nip in the air didn't seem as bad when his warm hand enveloped her own. She took a moment to glance up at him; black blazer rather fetching on his frame even if it was a bit too big. Red shirt now had the first few buttons undone and his tie was dangling over his shoulders. She smiled in picturing him rooting through his dad's and uncle's closets just to find something suitable to wear in order to take her out to dinner. More amazingly was how he openly admitted it; so endearing on how much work he'd put into this whole plan of his.

How it ultimately paid off for both parties involved…

"Happy Valentine's Day, Ash…" Johnny spoke; hand gently squeezing hers in a firmer hold. The breath leaving his mouth coiled around his face until it disappeared into the grayness of the cold air. His kind brown eyes crinkling around the edges as he smiled at her and it was now she knew she would never get tired of seeing that smile.

"You too." Ash chuckled before walking closer to his side to rest her head on his forearm.

Smiling beside herself as she took a deep breath of the fresh winter air surrounding them during the slow walk to his uncle's restaurant. A feeling of complete warmth and happiness she hadn't felt for a long time settling permanently in her chest.

Yeah, as cliche as it sounded…perhaps from now on, Valentine's Day (and pretty much every day in between) wouldn't be so bad anymore.

66 notes · View notes

quizmeghan · 4 years

Text

#11

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed? closed - if they’re opened even a fraction I have to get up and close them!

(2) Do You Have Freckles? I do! and I think i’m getting more as I get older, is that a thing?

(3) Can You Whistle? only when i’m breathing in lol.

(4) Last Song You Listened To. Brightside by last night saved my life.

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour? purple.

(6) Relationship Status. single.

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now? according to my phone it’s 12 degrees but I don’t agree.

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky? not really.

(9) How Many Followers? idek. a hundred or so?

(10) Zodiac Sign. aquarius.

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour? brown.

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily? I barely even remember to take my daily medication as it is lol.

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower? who doesn’t?

(14) What Books Are You Reading? I've just finished rereading all of the harry potter’s, so nothing just now.

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14. i’m not gonna do that because i’m lazy.

(16) Favourite Anime? i’m not all that into anime.

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of? last time I cried I was alone, however the last person I cried in front of was my mum and dad when I was watching moana the other day haha.

(18) Do You Collect Anything? concert tickets.

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch? homemade mushroom soup.

(20) Do You Dance In The Car? yes but only when i’m driving!

(21) Favourite Animal? I love a giraffe.

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics? I usually only try to see the gymnastics, but I watched more when they were in London in 2012.

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed? during lockdown it’s been like 2am, before that it was about 11pm.

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now? hahah, I've not work makeup since march.

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean? given the choice, a pool. but i’d rather not swim.

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog? I've barely used tumblr recently so I don’t think I have a fave anymore.

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water? I never used to bother but more recently it’s been bottled.

(28) What Makes You Happy? recently it’s been organisation, having something to fill my time with, cooking and speaking to my friends.

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now. again, no, because lazy. but it would be something about being tired and in pain.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music? depends!

(31) Dogs Or Cats? dogs.

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be? mmm, maybe like a yellow or an aqua. not sure why.

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox. neither.

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean? lake.

(35) Do You Believe In Magic? yes.

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing? it’s my pj’s and it’s navy.

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue? yah, my sister is the only one in the house who can’t do it.

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It? a bit of both really. mostly save though.

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You? my bedroom walls are pink and I have a pink cushion next to my bed, and that’s the only things I know for certain because the lights are off lol.

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now? new girl.

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly? no actually.

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People? I think so tbh.

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams? all the time!

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes? I don’t mind it, the bit I don’t like is take off/landing, turbulence, turning in the air so that you’re at a right angle with the ocean (??? NO THANKS), or security..... but other than that long list, i’m ok haha.

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry. just one? god. any Disney film. although if you mean sad as in, upset sad? probably I am legend. I wept like a BABY when he had to kill his doggo.

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds? if I had to pick, sunflower seeds (although, ew).

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be? all time low, I miss them and their gig here was cancelled.

(48) Are You A Picky Eater? not overly picky, but if I think I won’t like something then I don’t force myself to try it.

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper? noooooo.

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning? no I love it.

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write? meh, i’m not a big fan tbh.

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud? Y E S.

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents? wrap presents, only because I can never be bothered with scooping the insides of pumpkins out.

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up? chocolate by the 1975.

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather) technically we’re in summer but it was the rainiest day ever today. no shock there tbh.

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now? interaction with people who aren’t my family. no offence to them haha.

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed. no - lazy.

(58) What Is Your Gender? female.

(59) Coffee Or Tea? lemon and ginger tea and literally nothing else.

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About? nope - although I could be doing with getting some reading done before beginning uni in august.

(61) What Is Your Sexuality? straight.

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning? sometimes.

(63) Favourite Pokemon? Charmander.

(64) Favourite Social Media? insta.

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories? I like them?

(66) Do You Get Homesick? not really.

(67) Are You A Virgin? yes I am.

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now? tresemme, although sometimes I use a garnier hair mask or conditioner once a week.

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free? I was going to say I've seen horror films with people sleeping in their car, but I've also seen horror films with motels, so actually, it would probably depend on the area or situation.

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life? yes.

(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters? a quiet place 2 springs to mind.

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex? I don’t have one.

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now? what’s for you won’t go by you.

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest? I don’t really have a preference tbh.

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set? yes and yes!

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate? a packet of wotsits haha.

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone? two sorting games and that’s it, i’m so boring.

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not? that got deep. i’d like to think I would but honestly idk, and not because they’re homeless, but literally because i’m the worst at any sort of interaction, and in emergency situations I always freeze. so I would like to think I would, but until i’m ever put in the situation, I've got no idea how I would react.

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight? I have been previously in life, but not for a good while.

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network? yep.

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People? nooooooo i’m the most awkward person EVER.

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them. I have a couple of rings but I only really wear them on occasions.

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed? closed, same as the closet doors question.

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today? I made homemade mushroom soup and Malteser cake, I done the fishes and the washing, and I started to sort out my wardrobe pretty late in the evening and then regretted it because i’m only halfway done and I had to stop cos I was in so much pain so i’ll need to finish that tomorrow. busy day.

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed? pj sets which are shorts and short-sleeved mostly, sometimes just shorts, and sometimes bed socks.

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now. I have a bunch of bare minerals makeup and skincare products, I use hairspray and dry shampoo, and I have a heat-protection gel that I sometimes use. that’s all I can think of but the only thing I've really used these last few months is the skincare stuff.

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person? night mostly.

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc. literally the two sorting games on my phone and that’s it lol.

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened. I recently dreamed that me and one of my besties who has recently become single moved in together.

(90) Favourite Soda Drink? diet irn bru or black cherry and raspberry rubicon.

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite? I like the sound of rain late at night.

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More? jeans usually but during lockdown I've barely been out of pj’s or workout leggings.

(93) How Do You Look Right Now? like shit haha.

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You. watching Disney films.

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want? I actually have a list on my phone.

#11 #quiz #source: tumblr

0 notes

camouflagekiss · 6 years

Text

forty-five

Do you ever have days where you just don’t do anything? Most definitely.

Have you ever been extremely tired but refused to go to sleep? Yes.

What is your favorite episode of True Life, if you have one at all? I don't think that I ever had a favorite.

Have you ever experienced something paranormal? Kind of?

What’s the longest amount of time you’ve been stuck in traffic? I have no idea.

Best field trip experience? I loved them all, really.

Have you ever been to New York City? A few times.

If so, is it all its cracked up to be? No, I am not a city girl.

What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? Not too much.

Have you ever had a group project and one of your partners bailed on you? Not really.

What’s your worst traveling experience? Okay, so...I went to Puerto Rico with my brother on a trip for their company and on the way home we have a connecting flight from Philidelphia to NH...Well we got to Philly but our other flight was cancelled. So there a group of us (at least 40+) And we're trying how to figure out how to get us all back home. So they company paid to have a coach bus drive us through the night back to NH. So it was a 5+ hour plane right, then an 8 hour bus ride to the airport here in NH then another 1.5 hour drive home. It was terrible!

Sims 1, 2, or 3? Why? I've never played any of them.

Have you ever dealt with noisy neighbors or roommates? How did that go? Neither.

Who was (or is) the teacher that gave you the hardest time in school? I never really gave teachers a hard time.

Best muffin you’ve ever had? I have no idea.

Have you ever taken a woodshop class? Yes, in junior high.

If so, was it required? In 7th ant 8th grade we had to take VEX classes. It was broken up into three sections each year and we didn't really get to pick, they assigned them to us, but I actually liked that class. I still have the sign I made.

How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? Entirely too much.

What area of math are you best at? Worst? .

How do you feel when you meet someone with the same music taste as you? It's nice, but not that important.

What is the strangest thing you’ve ever seen outside of your house? I don't think that I've ever seen anything strange in my yard.

Do you believe in luck? Why or why not? I mean...I don't really know. I guess, because I certainly believe in bad luck.

How often do you “half-ass” things (put little effort in)? It depends.

Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? It depends on the person.

Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? Most likely in college.

How reliable is your internet connection? Usually good.

Have you ever missed a meeting/event that was required/necessary? Probably.

What’s something that makes you incredibly nervous? People watching me.

What’s the latest you’ve ever stayed up to finish homework/a project? All night.

If you don’t have glasses, how would you feel if you had to get them? I do have glasses.

If you do have glasses, how would you feel if you didn’t need them anymore? I use them when I need them and I don't mind them.

How many vegetarians do you know? I have no idea.

Have you ever considered going to art school? Meh.

Is there anyone in your life who consistently angers you? .

What is the worst thunderstorm you’ve experienced? The one when I was really little that was followed by a tornado.

How quickly can you write an essay? I guess it depends if I have to do a lot of research. It usually takes awhile.

Have you ever had problems falling asleep in class? No.

Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? No.

If you have a job, who is your least favorite coworker/manager? It's just my dad, uncle and I.

Favorite episode of Spongebob? I don't have one.

Do you have any silly/odd emotional connections to anything/anyone? I'm sure I do.

What bug frightens you most? They're just gross.

Are your parents supportive of you? Very.

How often do you take the train to go places? Never.

Do you play with your phone in awkward situations? Sometimes.

Have you ever participated in a mock trial, or a real trial? In high school I believe.

Do you hate your weight? Yes.

Have you ever struggled with a mental illness? Yes.

Do you prefer listening to music or watching movies while you blog? Either or.

Serious question, peanut butter or Nutella? It depends what I'm eating.

Have you ever stepped on a snail? Nope.

Do you prefer baked potatoes or mashed potatoes? Mashed.

Do you prefer ankle socks over regular socks? Yes.

Last movie you’ve seen in theaters? Only the Brave, last night actually. So good.

Would you ever go backpacking across any country? Nah. I would rather drive.

Would you prefer to travel around the world by yourself or with a friend? With a friend.

Do you like breadsticks? Yes.

Do you usually wear shorts around your house all year long? That depends on if I'm cold or not.

What state were you born in? New Hampshire.

Have you ever had a nose bleed? Never.

How far away do you live from your birthplace? 10-15 minutes.

Do you have a weak stomach? Mehh, not really.

Do you know anybody who has been diagnosed with cancer? Yes.

Would you ever meet someone in person that you met online? I don't know.

Have you ever had to take care of an intoxicated person? Yes.

What is so appealing about ‘Twilight’? I'm not sure.

Have you ever considered becoming a lawyer? No.

Do you *really* like donuts? I like them all right.

Do you think Disney World could ever get old? I've never been.

If you could, would you hookup with the last person you texted? No.

What are your favorite things to spend money on? Clothes.

Will you talk to the person you like on the phone tonight? Honestly, I'm fairly certain we'll never talk again.

What do you usually order on a pizza? Just cheese or pinapple

Do you and your boyfriend/girlfriend fight a lot? .

Which would you rather have a new puppy or kitten? Puppy, for sure.

How old will you be on your next birthday? 27.

What color are your underwear? Blue.

Do you know anyone who has a hearing deficit? Yes.

What is the average number of customers that stop by where you work? Nobody stops by unless they're paying a bill which is rare.

Do you know exactly what a physician is? Would you ever want to be one? I do. No.

What are your methods to remind yourself of something important? Making a list.

What are your opinions on fake sugar? Do you use it? Why or why not? I use real sugar. I don't care.

Would you ever want to study sociology? Why or why not? No. It isn't interesting to me.

If you had to have a porch for your house, what colour would it be? Brown?

What makes a person physically beautiful to you? I don't really know how to answer that beacuse I don't know what I'm necessarily attracted to.

Would you miss winter if it never came back? Why or why not? I mean I guess I would miss it some. Winter is by far my least favorite season because it's always so dark and I hate being cold.

Do you notice a pattern with people who were born as the middle child? I've never really paid that much attention to the traits of a middle child.

Did you ever play around a hydrant when you were younger? Probably, I grew up around the fire service.

Does bad weather ruin your day? Why or why not? It can definitely throw my mood off, but I guess it all depends.

What is one thing stopping you from becoming a veterinarian? I just never wanted to be one.

When you read 'bass’ just now, was it read like the fish or the instrument? Fish.

If you wear them, what is the average length of skirts you wear? Usually above the knee, but I do have a maxi.

Do you spell it like 'cheque’ or 'check’? Also, do you even use them? Check, yes.

What would you like a pint of right now? It could be anything. I'm not thirsty.

What is one thing that the Titanic has taught you? THE DOOR WAS BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF YOU, ROSE, YOU FUCKING IDIOT. But really, like, don't be so arrogant to believe that you are indestructable. Anything can be destroyed. ^^I like her answer.

Are you avoiding correspondence with anyone you actually like? If so, why? Yes, because it wouldn't matter what I said, it wouldn't change anything.

Do you think snowboarding is as easy as it looks? Nope.

Out of all the cancers, which one do you think needs to find a cure first? Uh, all of them...?

When I say fender, you say… Bender.

If the opposite sex wore a lot of jewelry, what would be your impression? No, that would be weird.

When I say cricket, do you picture the insect or the sport first? Insect.

If you were ever to be famous, how would you want your signature to look? In bunker gear, hahaha.

What are two things you usually do with ice? Put it in a drink.

Was there ever a workshop in your middle school? If so, what were they? No.

What do you think of people who can tie cherry stems with their tongues? I've done it before.

Speaking of tongues, did you ever consider getting your tongue pierced? Not seriously.

If you had to only use either shampoo or conditioner, which would it be? Shampoo.

What are your general afterthoughts when you’ve finished a book? It depends on the book.

Does your mouse have a cord? Which do you prefer, cord or cordless? No, I prefer wireless....except for the fact that I'm always misplacing it.

0 notes

laidbackmarco · 7 years

Text

As uncomfortable as it is making art and putting yourself on display, in order to grow and improve as an artist you have to start getting familiar with that feeling. The mix of chemicals and neurons firing you experience when having awkward conversations with that girl/guy you like, before going on stage, or trying to draw something you are uncomfortable with is often described as fear or nervousness, but I’ve been trying to look at those moments when you can feel your blood pulsing through your body with a new lens. I think that feeling is actually the feeling of excitement which through social conditioning has been transformed into that of anxiousness. I think deep down people are excited to be talking to that person, performing, or learning different ways to approach art.

One thing that’s not hard for me to do, because of my terrible self esteem, is admitting that my art is bad or needs improvement. . . actually it’s much harder for me to accept a compliment about my work then anything else. Which is also bad, because if you deny someone’s compliment it’s like telling them subconsciously that their point of view doesn’t matter, don’t devalue them just smile and say thank you. Although I do wish they would stop using the “It’s better then I could do” seriously stop saying that to your friends who do art because that doesn’t make us feel better. Back to the main point! I know I needed to improve my digital art skills, but I had no idea how to go about doing it. There are a lot of resources online that are available, but the problem was there was just so much free information out there that I had almost drowned in it. I stumbled across this website called https://www.ctrlpaint.com/ which seemed to have everything in a nice organized fashion, had a plethora of free content, and I liked the way Matt Kohr presented both his philosophy and lessons.

I began plugging my way through the lessons one step at time. Although I had taken art classes in college, I figured that like in League of Legends, Fighting Games, Basketball, and now art fundamentals are extremely important and it can never hurt to refresh and sharpen those tools. So I started from step one and worked my way through the Digital Painting 101, Traditional Drawing, And Most of the Drawing 2 segments until I reached this challenge called When In Doubt, Draw 100. Before I watched it I thought one hundred is a pretty large number, I mean I tried to do Inktober and a thirty day original character drawing challenge and I couldn’t even manage to do those, there is no way I could manage to draw one hundred of something I’m uncomfortable illustrating.

As if the challenge itself wasn’t hard enough, I had trouble even getting started on it. What should I draw? How many drawings a day should I try to do? What medium should I use when illustrating? Were all questions were allowed me to procrastinate and satisfy the instant gratification monkey in my head with some League of Legends. It took me a couple days browsing twitter and looking at amazing art to become honest with myself and say that it doesn’t matter what I draw because I’m so bad at everything the improvement alone will be worth it. But two areas I know that every artist struggles with, even my better peers on the social networks, are hands and feet. I mean just look at some of my earlier work

The feet and legs are more like blobs and the hands are pretty much mittens, both needed to be improved, but I decided to go with drawing feet first.

And I know what you’re thinking eww feet gross, people find feet gross, and repulsive for some reason? Maybe because you walk on them all day and they are close to the ground? I don’t know, but I’ve been looking at feet my whole life. . . my view of the world is often looking down at the ground. Most people will look at other people’s faces when communicating, which is something I’m trying to do now, but my whole life I’ve had terrible self esteem and probably some form of depression so I’ve gone through it avoiding eye contact. The easiest way to avoid eye contact and not run into everything and everything is to look down at the ground. This way you can still see where people are going and where objects are in the world. If you do make it out into a more open area looking up at the sky isn’t a bad option either, but your neck would get tired after a while of stargazing.

They say a lot of information is conveyed through the window to the soul, the beautiful eyes human beings, and that probably is true, but for me I got my information by looking everywhere, but people’s faces. Which mostly was their feet. Which can convey feelings all by themselves. You can tell by the motions of legs and feet whether someone is excited, proud, or tired by the way they walk or tap their feet nervously during the middle of class. Even the type of shoes they wear can tell you a little about their personality. For girls you can tell who the pampered rich ones are by how often their toenails are perfectly painted or if they are chipping. I remember a girl I was crushing on in highschool got a pair of fresh new white vans. . . still my favorite pair of shoes to this day. All the super liberal art theater kids wore toms. . . to help the world out or something. But yes feet can tell you a lot about a character, I think a big influence on me is my favorite animation studio Kyoani, where one of the animation directors Naoko Yamada uses images of feet and legs to describe human relationships and interactions on a regular basis.

Legs and feet can be cute, should be able to describe the whole character, even actions and motion are able to be extrapolated by through the feet by are posed, or be fetishised(but I mean what can’t now a days am I right?), but you have to be able to illustrate them well for that to happen. Some of my favorite illustrators and animators can draw characters performing a variety of actions and because they can draw feet well the characters appear grounded and real. Even actions such as falling and being weightless have the feet react in some way shape or form.

This drawing challenge began six months ago in march of 2017 I had begun this challenge thinking I’ll be able to knock this out in 10 days if I draw 10 feet a day. Which doesn’t sound to hard and in a perfect world that might have happened. These are probably just excuses but it was a combination of school, waning motivation, frustration, and laziness that I hadn’t finished as fast that I had wanted to. The challenge also started out being a way for me to learn to digitally sketch better, and probably woulda paid off too if I stuck with using my wacom or my surface pen to do the drawings. One drawing was even in color, which I don’t know why I decided to draw that one in color? I think it had a pretty night background, that I couldn’t execute well because it was wet pavement and streetlights.

I used a variety of sources for the feet in this set here, some from anime still frames, twitter drawings, League of Legends fan arts, and even some pictures of real life subjects.It took another four months before I started to make more drawings towards the study, but eventually I decided to start doing them in my sketchbook, because there are so many extra steps involved when drawing in a program that my procrastinating self couldn’t be bothered to deal with. First of all as much as I love my Surface Pro, the battery life is not ideal, the pen has a battery that runs out, and I don’t think my version of the surface is powerful enough to draw at the resolutions I like to illustrate digitally at. The only program I have for illustrating on my surface is manga studio, which isn’t bad because one of my favorite artists redjuice999 uses it, but it is different than what I am used to. Also when drawing on the go, which I do a lot now, you have to create a new folder, file, choose the resolution/document size, save it then find it again. It was a hassle to say the least so with an investment of a little under 10 dollars I saved myself all those extra steps and got a new sketchbook and some mechanical pencils because no sharpening pls. Another reason that I stopped drawing was I was just getting too frustrated with drawing things I’m not comfortable with, not getting anything out of LoL streaming, my art and music had netted nothing for all the work put in, I really was just frustrated with life and started hated everything I was and was doing.

When I picked it up again four months later I started looking at comic books I enjoyed, both american and Japanese artists I admired I looked at more closely. The two main ones being Pokan8 illustrator of the Yahari Ore No Seishun Love Come Wa Machigattiru and Hiro Illustrator of Akebi Chan’s Sailor Uniform. I did look at the illustrations of an hero I could not read being as the whole page was in Japanese, but it was a random stroke of luck that I found his image on Pinterest. An interesting thing happened to me a third of the way through the drawing challenge. At about the mid thirtyish drawing I found myself enjoying the process and having fun drawing feet. This really showed I think in the 30-40 drawings of the “Gothic Loli” shoes as they were called. I don’t know why but those ones turned out really good I think? Maybe I liked Rem more than I thought and no I’m not a Lolicon those were literally what the page called the shoes. During the later 25 Drawings I found myself frustrated again I thought it was because the overall proportion and drawings seemed to be off, but that wasn’t it. Looking at the drawings the overall shape is pretty good, but upon retrospection I had realized that I was getting angry at the smaller details of the foot that I had completely brushed off before. All the small curves and nooks of the feet were becoming something I was aware of at those moments, and because my mind couldn’t wrap my head around some of the most subtle curves I was frustrated again.

I drew some feet even without photo reference, but looking at people as they passed by downtown on the street. Something that would have been not possible for me doing this challenge I was able to take a quick glance at pedestrians walking and make a quick sketch of the shoes they were wearing. I tried to do some without any reference at all, but they turned out super bad so I stuffed that Idea real quick. My later drawings I tried to look for more challenging angles, and gave more attention to clean linework and putting down darker lines where I wanted and I think that shows. The lines are less chicken scratchy than the previous drawings. I’m glad that my final drawing in the challenge had a tiny bit of shared joy as I had a viewer on my stream while completing the final piece. Thanks Zukeyni!!

For some reason I felt when i completed this challenge I would be able to draw feet with no reference easily and that I would feel like a better artist. Like completing this would give me a noticeable stat in some sort of rpg, but sadly that didn’t happen. I think that I would still need a lot of reference to draw a foot that would count as passable to my current standards. But I did improve!! Maybe? I don’t know you be the judge. To get more value out of this drawing challenge I think next time I would include more more shots from movies, challenging obscure angles, and action poses where people are in motion. As feet change when people are doing things like in one of the drawings up there I used a drawing of Akebi’s Little sister Kao chan throwing a paper airplane, and because Hiro is a good artist he captures the excitement of a kid throwing a paper airplane all the way down to her cute sneakers with little birds on them.

What I learned: I could’ve got this done much faster, you get faster as you go, take it one step at a time, lastly I still have a long way to go!

The next challenge I will do is drawing 100 hands, but I will wait until doing some other art tutorials on CtrlPaint before doing another one of these tasking, but rewarding challenges.

Thanks to my stream that Supports me mentally during my fiascos.

SpectralFire, Derpiestder, Lord_Vath, and DirgeofRuin,

P.S. I think They all have secret foot fetishes . . . they watched the entire time.

The Draw 100 Art Challenge Feet As uncomfortable as it is making art and putting yourself on display, in order to grow and improve as an artist you have to start getting familiar with that feeling.

#ART #awkward #Blog #challenge #depression #feet #improvement #journal #low self esteem #study #VLOG

0 notes

iheartsurveys · 7 years

Text

148

1. What’s the last thing you and your sibling laughed about? No clue 2. What’s the last thing you took a picture of? My time sheet 3. When are you getting your next new phone? I just got this phone last month so not for a while 4. Can you tell the difference between Chinese and Korean writing? Probs not 5. What was the last song you listened to about? I haven't listened to music today, actually, so idk 6. When’s the last time you cleaned out your keyboard? My laptop has been dead for a few months, and even before that I'm not really sure lol 7. Do you listen to classical music? I did when studying/writing an essay in college 8. Why did you buy the last CD you bought? I bought Harry's album because I love him lol. And I had a coupon. And it's a great album 9. What did you do for your last science fair? I don't think I've ever had a science fair in school tbh 10. If you’ve seen “A Clockwork Orange”, would you volunteer for that “cure” after you saw what happened to Alex? Haven't seen it 11. Do you like DIY things? I do, I like crafting and whatnot 12. Do you tell your parents who you like? Why or why not? Ehhh I do if it becomes something. Andrew was a special situation kinda because we got set up, but I told my mom I was taking him to formal/going to his, and she knew some details like I'd tell her if we went on a date after that when we kind of were a thing. My dad, however, saw pics from formal on Facebook and was like who is that? Lolllll so I don't really tell him much. In the past too mom usually knows when I go on a date with someone, and my dad knows after the fact. 13. Are you due for a haircut? Yessss my ends are awful. I'm going this Friday but I'm torn between a trim and cutting a few inches. I've wanted long hair forever and it's getting pretty long but I'm also tempted to chop it a little, so we'll see how that goes 14. Are you dealing with any health-related problems right now? Not really 15. Do your parents like the music you listen to? Mom likes some, like 1D and Harry and some alternative stuff I listen too. Dad doesn't like that stuff but I listen to things he likes, like older stuff so we bond over that 16. Do your parents approve of your beliefs? Yes 17. What’s the last thing you mailed? My time sheet 18. Do you know anyone who’s racist? I have fb friends with conservative views that can say/share questionable things. No one is outwardly like hey! I'm racist! And if you confronted them on it I'm sure they'd say "no im not racist!" But you can definitely tell based off things they say or share that they have prejudice/racist vibes 19. What about a homophobe? ^^ same as above. 20. What about a pedophile? I don't 21. Who’s the most annoying person in your neighborhood? I've kind of answered this a few surveys ago. No one is really annoying; the guy across the street is just kinda eh. 22. Name one of your psycho exes? No one I've dated is/was psycho 23. Why were they a psycho ex? ^ 24. What’s the best revenge you ever got on someone? I'm very non confrontational sooo no revenge 25. Do you know what RSVP stands for? No clue tbh 26. How often do you shop at dollar stores? Not very often, definitely more around the holidays for bags and wrapping paper and whatnot 27. What screen name do you use to prank people with? I don't lol 28. What screen name did you use in 6th grade? Can't remember 29. How long ago did you make your current screen name? Instant messengers aren't a thing anymore, this survey must be old 30. What “older” bands do you listen to? The Beatles, beastie boys, zeppelin, queen, nirvana...those are the main ones but I enjoy quite a bit of older music, bands and solo artists 31. Do you like older or newer music better? Probably newer a little bit more but I love some good 60s-90s jams 32. Do you make your own clothes and/or add designs to them on your own? I don't but that sounds cool 33. Who does the laundry in your house? I do my own, and my mom and stepdad switch on and off doing theirs 34. What brand of eyeliner do you use? I think it's L'Oréal? I need to find a better one the last 2 I've tried get too smudgy 35. Do you have a friend who tends to act pessimistic? Yeah, about some things. And I do sometimes too 36. What’s something you need to do? Clean my room tomorrow, and work out 38. If you had a band, what would you name it? Oh man idk. 39. When with a guy/girl you like, do you make the first move? Lol never 40. Have you ever done “naughty things” in a movie theater? Nope 41. What’s your favorite part of a song? I mean, it varies depending on the song <<< 42. What’s the last song you listened to remind you of? As I said earlier, I don't remember what that was 43. Did you/will you change yourself before you go to high school? In like 2 weeks it'll be 5 years since I graduated high school lol 44. How’s life treating you lately? It's okay. I finished temping last week and the temp agency wanted me to start another assignment but I declined because I start my job in a month and I have plans in between then and now i wanted time to myself to chill. So I'm just chillin 45. What was the coolest thing to happen today? Nothing really, all I did was clean and nap and then watch tv

#surveys

0 notes

sassmill · 7 years

Note

Do all those ask things 1-104

I saw this comingASK ME THINGS1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? Hello Reese, how did I get here exactly 2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?Lmfao she jokingly told people we were dating and liked to hold my hand and mentions the kiss way too much and shit but she never explicitly expressed actual interest in a real relationship and she kept telling me about girls she was talking to on tinder and asking me for relationship advice but I don't have time to play games and she graduated so who the fuck knowsThe kiss was for acting class but she was way too handsy with me outside of class for it to be just a stage kiss and by the end of the semester I was just kind of annoyed 3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?If we're talking the good kush then no but other stuff yes4. Is your last name longer than six letters?Yeet5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?Well my character was an alcoholic and the girl kissing me had just finished pouring beer into my mouth So "Tilly" was drunk but I was not 6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?Lmao give me till the end of the summer before I answer this (that's a big fuckin joke because I'm a pussy and won't do anything)7. What does your last received text say?TRUE8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?idk I think we did the scene full out a total of three times9. Where was your last kiss at?The black box theater on campus10. When is the last time you saw your sister?Sometime before she went to bed idk time is a human construct 11. What do you drink in the morning?Coffee 12. Where did you sleep last night?My bed 13. Do you think relationships are hard?Just because something takes effort doesn't mean it has to be hard 14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?Done my fuckin employment paperwork for camp a hell of a lot sooner 15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?UGH having to have an actual conversation and not being able to diffuse everything with humor like I usually do 16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?Rainy I am so unbelievably pale 17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?Yes my fuckin dorm neighbor all this past year had the exact first AND middle name as me it was fuckin weird18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?Haha joke's on you I don't wear pants to bed if I don't have to 19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?You know I sure fuckin hope so because I'm actually starting to lose my mind 20. Does anyone like you?Platonically I'm popular for once and it's working well for me so I'm gonna pretend that that's what this question is asking me 21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?Nope22. Is the last person you kissed gay?She's not straight 23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?SEVERAL 24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?A lot but I'm impulsive and afraid of commitment so I know that any choice I make I will probably regret 25. In the past week have you cried?Haha more like how many weeks has it been since I haven't cried26. What breed was the last dog you saw? Friendo (mutt)27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?Idk I kinda do a combo I move while drying 28. Have you ever kissed a football player?Oh honey not my gay ass29. Do you think you’re old?I've been told I'm an old soul and I've personally felt like a 46 since I was about 1330. Do you like text messaging?Since I struggle with verbal communication (that isn't rehearsed like a script is), YES31. What type of day are you having?Went to IKEA and the hardware store then went home and felt hopeless about a married woman so all in all pretty gay32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?Not really I'm all for body modification but for myself piercings freak me out33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?Cold this is literally logical because I can't remove my skin when it's too hot but I can put on a fucking sweater when it's cold 34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?I LOVE MY ACTING TEACHER CLAIR SO FUCKING MUCH HE IS A BRIGHT LIGHT AND I DONT THINK I WOULD'VE DONE SO WELL THIS YEAR WITHOUT HIM35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?fuck I meanRealistically a relationship But I passed desperate when I joined a sugar baby website so I'll take a fuckin fling at this point36. Are you a simple or complicated person?I'm like what would happen if you tried to put together IKEA furniture for the second time without the manual and you have a little too much confidence in yourself because you pulled it off fine the first time with the instructions but you quickly realize you need help and then everything just turns into screaming 37. What song are you listening to?Literally erotic asmr videos judge me if you want I've lost the ability to care38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?Honey if I ain't sorry your ass isn't getting an apology 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?The fuckin cheese monster 40. What made you start liking the person you like now?Holy shit do I even want to get into thisTrick question the answer is yesSo I've known this woman for over ten years and have been getting increasingly close with her for sixIn the past four years is when I've fallen for her and let me tell you in all honesty: it started as a hate fuck fantasy. I used to hate her so so much. AND THEN I realized I was gay and Things Changed ™ plot twist: she's actually an incredible person who helped me build up my confidence and feel proud of my sensuality and yeah I think I've been solidly in love with her for two years now but she is married to a man so fuck me rightShe's also twice my age which has lead me into some deep self loathing shit it's complicated and I'm still working through it 10/10 would not recommend She did call me her flirty girl tho at least I'll always have that whatever the fuck it's supposed to mean41. When did you last receive a text message?12:12 am which is about half an hour ago 42. What is wrong with you right now?We don't have time for this I can assure you 43. How well do you know the last female you texted?Well first of all I pretty much text only females, so jot that downAnd I mean god how long have we been friends Reese I think I know you fairly well for an Internet friend I know about your true feelings for bowser so 44. Does anyone disgust you?Jesus don't even fucking get me started 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?Yes are you sensing a theme here46. Are you in a good mood right now?Eh47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?My father48. What color shirt are you wearing?Grey49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?That I have my permit test tomorrow lmao50. Anyone you’re giving up on?I mean people change so fuckin give it time51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?See number 4052. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?NOPE when I decide I'm done I'm fuckin done 53. Do you like rain?Ye54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?Within reason 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?See 4056. Do you like to cuddle?Yes fuck57. Are you shy?Not really I mean I have a variety of facades for when I'm insecure so58. Do you get along with girls?I'm gay59. Have you dated the person you texted last?Yeah what a memelord60. What do you carry with you at all times?My dark past with the musical Cats61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?My dude I already volunteer in one for free you bet your ass I'd jump at the chance to get paid to deal with ghosts for onceI'd have a lot more patience with the Puritan minister calling me a witch because I'm a woman who speaks out of turn if I was making money 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?I'm a very adaptable person so I should hope so63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?Nope64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?Well when she kisses me on the cheek I die inside so I'm gonna go with probably 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?Ashlinn and Kristina reaffirm my belief in the existence of love every day and that's the cutest thing ever66. How old are the last three people you kissed?25, 19, 18 but honestly none of them count so?67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? I'm cheap and don't like physical contact or intimacy with strangers so you do the math68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? Leopard 69. Do you have any stickers on your car? My dude I don't even have a license 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? Who71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? I'm posting this via carrier pigeon so72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? Idk whenever the last buskin society party was 73. Do you like diet soda? Only Diet Pepsi 74. What color are the walls in your room? This really awful green color that my parents painted it when my youngest siblings were sharing it (a "gender neutral" color)75. Are you 16 or older? Yeet76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? Ugh I watched two whole seasons and still couldn't find a way to care77. Do you have a job? I have three technically but two are summer and one is at school 78. What are your initials? EVG79. Did you ever have braces? For five fucking years plus other shit to fix my overbite 80. Are you from the south? God no 81. What does your last status on facebook say? If You Notice A Beautiful Purple Thing On The Sand This Summer, Run Away Immediately 82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? Yeah see I haven't had a real kiss yet so 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? Idk I mean I think I get along better with my dad but that's just because I am literally exactly like my mother 84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? Oh god yup both I dropped a girl on her head 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? I think it was Get Out86. Do you smoke? Carol Aird Taught Me How To Hit A Blunt At Two AM On A Softball Field 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? Heels88. Is your phone touch screen? If I touch the pigeon it bites me89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? This is a joke my hair has absolutely zero natural texture 90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? I'm bland 91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? Pool I get anxiety from nature have you ever seen Scooby Doo and the Loch Ness Monster?92. Have you ever made out in a car? No93. …Had sex in a car?I'm really bitter right now94. Are you single or in a relationship? Really 95. What were you doing last night at midnight?I think I was crying 96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? A couple months ago just randomly. My school is down the road from an amusement park. 97. Do you like the camera on your phone? I guess98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? No99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? I am a heavyweight mom friend so no100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? Yup101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? I'm gay102. Name your favorite Kesha song: I fux wit Your Love is My Drug103. Do you have any tan lines right now? I have the minimum amount of melanin a person can have without actually being albino I am physically incapable of tanning104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? Fashion is a societal construct

0 notes

mrallentompkins-blog · 7 years

Text

Two Brooklyn Mugs Hang Out on a 40 Year Old Movie Classic

Okay.”

The conventional way to end a “take” while directing a movie is to say loudly “cut”!

The director of this movie says, “Okay.” He’s unconventional. He looks like an intellectual, but flashing back four decades I guess it’s just his signature black-rimmed glasses that create that impression for me. He’s wearing a Ralph Lauren tweed sport coat with leather elbow patches over a worn-at-the-collar button-down plaid shirt, and brown wide-whale baggy corduroy pants that hang over a pair of clunky worn-out shoes. No flash, just a simple lived-in look. More like a dude who has escaped from a PBS fundraiser. To a street-smart cat from Brooklyn, the skinny little guy looks un-cool except for his distinct walk. The man has a cool, confident, urban boppin’ walk. I will come to learn that this dude is really smart, but far from a nerdy intellectual. His public persona of a neurotic intellectual is a movie character creation. The guy I will come to know better has legitimate Brooklyn-bred street-smart self-confidence. Before the movie finishes shooting months later, I will have formed a very gradual, unexpected, life-long friendship with this iconic New York character.

By the time I was hired as the unit still photographer on this untitled film, the director/writer/actor had already made a cluster of movies none of which I had seen.

Eventually, I would see them all. My old school, (pre-yuppie and pre-hipster) Brooklyn upbringing had made me a cautious street-guy, wary about the people with whom I became friends. It’s a matter of trust; a skeptical survival instinct. Plus, I have a deep aversion to ass-kissers, and the movie business breeds insecurity and greed. Sometimes “solid” people turn into embarrassing ass-kissing sycophants. I will learn, the director of this movie will never brownnose anyone about anything.

The dude with the signature black-rimmed glasses is Woody Allen.

The movie he’s directing will eventually be called: Annie Hall. It is the spring of 1976 as we start shooting in the Hamptons. I observe that Woody is a quiet, private man. He rarely speaks to actors or crew members. But he’s not a snob either. If someone asks him a question he will give a slightly shy and succinct answer. He’s a refreshing antidote to some conventional directors who feel obligated to become unqualified junior-psychologists, over-explaining everything to cast and crew about motivation and meaning.

Then there is the unique guy with the signature glasses.

The first day of shooting is eaten up mostly with boring running shots of cars. Later in the day when the light is soft with overcast – Woody’s favorite light – Gordon Willis, the great cinematographer who looks like Rembrandt, finishes lighting the exterior (with a hint of tungsten coming through the windows from inside) of a Hamptons house where the famous “lobster scene” is being shot. “Gordy,” another man of few words, uses irony with a splash of cynicism as his best defense verbally and brilliant lighting visually.

He turns to us in the camera crew, “Is my lighting funny?”

All good, Gordy...

Gordon Willis and Woody Allen would become a brilliant team.

As Woody later says in many interviews, and as I will witness first-hand on several of their classic collaborations, Gordon’s gift to Woody is a formal filmmaking foundation. He gets a daily on-the-job teacher-student master class in filmic skills, which Woody admits he simply did not possess on his previous movies. Gordon’s unique eye becomes a visual partner to Woody’s winning words. Together they create lightning in a bottle.

After several days in the Hampton’s, we are shooting in a tiny apartment on the Upper West Side. In between lighting set-ups, I am sitting on the building’s stoop. For those of us who grew up in this fantastic city of New York, especially those of us from the outer boroughs, a stoop is a social hang-out place of significant importance. It provokes talk. And laughs. And dreams. The stoop is where at a young age we juked and jived, talked sports and girls, complained about our shortness of dough, and occasionally ranked on each other or gossiped about stool-pigeons in the neighborhood. If you are a stool-pigeon from old-school Brooklyn you are marked bad for life. Woody can dig all this too.

He grew up in Brooklyn. So when he bops out of the apartment building between shots he sits opposite me on the stoop railing.

Just the two of us.

I say nothing until he does. He tells me how much he admires my older brother Pete’s writing. They know each other casually from Elaine’s restaurant. I thank him. I will soon learn that Woody is very sparse with compliments (later, over years, I will observe that he hates to get compliments).But this breaks the ice and we chat for the next 45 minutes. He’s feeling me out. Trying to see where I’m at. It’s cool.

It was a ditto thing. And I start to feel that Woody is “good people” too. After this conversation we start to develop a very early-stage mental shorthand.

Back upstairs on the set we are both quiet. My job as a unit still photographer takes concentration and I am here to work. I am on high alert to capture defining moments that my training as a photojournalist has taught me. The essence of my job requires me to be ever-ready for that decisive release of the shutter to photograph a precise piece of action.

On movies, I am always looking to capture the most dramatic or comedic point of a scene. Between takes I shoot portraits of actors, candid animated moments between director and actors, director and cameraman, and shots of the splendid work done by all the very talented people involved. Basically, the same deal as journalism. A photo essay. In between set-ups I can also take a breather, shoot the breeze or break balls, all of which I am very good at.

As the day goes on, I notice that Woody is obsessive about magic tricks with a coin, always practicing to make it disappear. The room is small and I am standing next to him surrounded by a cluster of busy crew people setting up the next shot. He is not showing off, but rather perfecting his skills with the quarter for his own amusement.

Suddenly the quarter falls from Woody’s hand, and I follow it falling into the cuff of my pants. I am sure he has spotted it. But it’s clear he hasn’t as he looks for its landing at the couch next to him. I decide to fuck with him and not tell him right away that his quarter is in my cuff. Woody picks up the end-pillow—the quarter is not there. He searches the floor around his feet. No coin.

The First Assistant Director calls him in to watch the scene in the adjoining room. I leave the quarter in my cuff and enter the room to photograph the scene. After ten minutes and a couple of takes he says, “Okay.” Then he’s back in the living room tossing the couch again for his quarter. He picks up the big pillow closest to where he was standing. He searches thoroughly, frustration reddening his face. I am both amused that this talented guy is so flustered, but worried that if I give it up now he will have an unpleasant reaction to my ball-breaking.

He walks away for a moment, pivots back to the couch and picks up a second big pillow. No quarter. Now he’s down on one knee looking under the couch to no avail.

I’m thinking:

Should I give myself up?

Nope. I let it lay, for 30 years.

The next day we are shooting in the same apartment. I go into the empty kitchen and put my cameras on the table. As I change the film roll in one camera, Woody and Keaton enter the kitchen. Keaton is one of the nicest people I have ever worked with. Keaton and Woody can finish each other’s sentences. They are very close friends and have great chemistry on screen. Annie Hall will become their bases-loaded homerun.

They are goofing about something. And then start talking about a play they had both seen separately and did not like. I am not really interested in a convo about theater so I tune out. Suddenly, Woody turns to me and says, “What was the last play you saw that you liked?” I thought for a few split seconds and said impulsively, “I hate plays and don’t go that often.” There was an awkward, pregnant silence in the kitchen as Woody and Keaton snuck a peek at each other.

Woody finally says, “Seriously, you don’t like plays?”

“No, not really, I mostly go to plays out of politeness to friends who are actors in them. But most plays make me move my ass back and forth in the seat. I’m a movie guy. I love watching movies. My mother was a cashier at the RKO Prospect in my Brooklyn neighborhood so I got to see movies for free when I was a kid, and I went frequently.”

I could tell that both Woody and Keaton were surprised at my candor, and probably thought I was a cultural zero. Growing up our big Irish-American family was very well-read. Books were our refuge, our escape. But I was talking square business. Plays were harder to walk out of if you did not enjoy them. Movies were easier to cut short and they cost far less dough. And plays are an acquired taste for a street-mug from Brooklyn who grew up poor. As I got older and matured, I enjoyed plays much more as I now do.

Later, as the shoot was almost finished, I asked Woody if he had a title for the film. He said he was considering a title called: Anhedonia. I knew that it meant a psychological condition that prevents certain people from experiencing pleasure from pleasurable acts.

I laughed and said, “That title will sell six tickets”.

Woody laughed, which he did rarely in my limited observation on this movie. We would eventually share many more laughs over the years in the city we both love.

Although he worked as a stand-up comic in smoke-filled clubs in New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago, and San Francisco often on the same bill with potheads and the occasional junkie, Woody told me that he had never actually smoked a joint. He also said with a straight face that he didn’t think any good music was made after 1947. I was a Rock & Roll lover and weed head, so, of course, I told him I could not agree. I also, in forty years, never heard him use the word cool. Like I said earlier, the dude is unconventional.

I gave up weed in 1983. I am still a fervent Rock and Roll fan. I use cool every day.

I’ve done photographs on seventy-seven movies in thirty-eight busy years, and have done twenty-six movies with this cat, and I still think he is the most honorable, loyal person I’ve ever met in the movie business. In addition, his strong, well-read literary sensibility, his extensive knowledge of classic and art movies (American and Foreign), his enthusiasm for sports, and his verve and passion for music (plays clarinet) rubs off on you just by hanging out with him. It’s a good hang.

Words. Images. Music.

Movies.

NYC.

Loyalty.

It is hard not to stay interested in his skillful work, and his extraordinary wit. His unpretentious wisdom never made me feel like Woody displayed a superior vibe to others. Deep in his heart, he is a street guy.

I can proudly say the Woody Allen I know is a mensch and my friend.

Annie Hall is a wonderful movie with great dialog, smart jokes, realistic comedy, and for me a sentimental journey back in time through a nostalgic lens on both the pain and happiness of comedian Alvy Singer growing up in Brooklyn and searching for love in Manhattan. The wonderfully-written scenes were often touching, and some had side-splitting wit. It is, after all, a relationship movie that even a Brooklyn kid who grew in financial struggle could love. The ending is bittersweet, like real life.

The movie got released forty years ago this month, it was nominated for five Oscars, and won four including Best Picture. It is considered a classic. Most famous comedians love it. Woody didn’t attend the Oscars in 1978. He told my younger brother Denis in an interview for the LA Herald Examiner the day before the Oscars back then that he couldn’t take the Academy Awards seriously if they didn’t nominate Gordon Willis for Best Cinematography. He’s that kind of loyal.

In 2006, thirty years after we worked on Annie Hall together, we were sitting at The Garden watching the Knicks play. Woody has taken me lots of times to his paid for top-dollar season courtside Knicks seats. He is not a celebrity freeloader. He tips the waiters well. In fact, if he gives you his seats to go without him, he asks only that you tip the courtside waiters well. It’s not an act. He is hands down the most generous actor I ever hung out with. We have eaten many restaurant meals together, and I have tried, but Woody Allen will simply not let me pick-up a tab.

At half time, the Knicks were ahead when he turned to me to ask my thoughts on a personal matter, and, as usual, I gave him straight talk with my honest opinion.

He said, “I always knew I could trust you Hamill when you told me during the first week of Annie Hall that you hated plays. I did not agree with you, but I respected your honesty.”

“Hey Wood, thanks,” I said, “And I owe you a quarter.” He looked at me puzzled. I told him the story about him looking for his magic-trick quarter that landed in my cuff. He seemed further baffled, saying he had no recollection of the incident.

I said, “You see, you should have tried at least one joint.”

Brian Hamill

Brianhamill.com

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/two-brooklyn-mugs-hang-out-on-a-40-year-old-movie-classic_us_58e18796e4b0ca889ba1a764

Related article: A Year Of Being A Starbucks Mug Collector

0 notes

spynotebook · 7 years

Link

GIF

If you grew up on the internet, Homestar Runner represents a time when the world wide web felt a little bit smaller. It was hilariously sarcastic, but unlike the rest of the Flash landscape in the early 2000s, Homestar was never hateful or cheap.

Matt and Mike Chapman spent a childhood cutting up Super 8 tape, writing amateur comic books, and absorbing every nugget of disposable pop culture they could get their hands on. Years later, they would distil their fascination with the fringe edges of Americana into their very own online cartoon show. Homestar Runner is a place of screwball public access television, byzantine parallel universes, and miles-deep references to sports, music, video games, and everything else they loved. The Chapmans may have chided the stupidity of cultural debris, but they still loved it.

Today, we carry infinity in our pockets and bounce selfies off of satellites. But, in the early 2000s, there was something kind of remote about a homemade Flash animation site. The internet still felt like a secret, and in a moment where it’s hard to feel hopeful about the cyberspace coursing through humanity’s veins, returning to Homestar Runner offers a shred of optimism.

In recent years, Matt and Mike Chapman parlayed the legacy of Homestar Runner into a number of rewarding (and lucrative) jobs at Nickelodeon and Disney Channel, making television shows like Yo Gabba Gabba!, Gravity Falls, and most recently, Two More Eggs. The era of the weekly Strong Bad email is in the past, but the brothers still make time to update the site when their busy lives afford them the time. We called up the Chapmans, and asked them to tell us the story of Homestar Runner from start to finish.

A Foundation of Snark

The Chapmans’ spend their early years learning how to make fun of things and amassing decades of pop culture references in a very short time.

Mike Chapman: We were the youngest of five kids. We grew up in the ‘80s and I think a lot of our humor sort of developed from taking some terrible Atlanta commercial and exaggerating part of it, and repeating it 5,000 times to make a joke. It wasn’t something funny, but the five of us made it funny.

Matt Chapman: We had the collective knowledge of four other siblings, like pop culture knowledge including the ‘60s and ‘70s. So from early on we had stuff. I started watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 from a young age, and I would get jokes because I’d be like, “Oh my brother has been saying that since I was a little kid! I know it’s from some old bubble gum commercial that isn’t around anymore!”

Mike: Our older brother Donny taught us how to be snarky, before we even knew what it meant or how to use that type of humor. I remember him watching The Love Boat just to make fun of it. He did not like The Love Boat at all. He would just sit there and rag on everybody the whole time. He thought it was hilarious. He had this kid’s book called The Daddy Book, a very ‘70s kid’s picture book, and it was just a nice book about different dads. “Dads, they’re all different! They do different things! They look different!” And he would go through it and add his own commentary, where the dads would do horrible things to the kids, and it was really awful. I mean, that’s like straight-up a Strong Bad move.

Mike: When the five of us get together we’re gonna reference some dumb commercial from 30 or 40 years ago. I feel like as a big family, it’s almost like a defense mechanism. It makes you stick together and bond more. “Look at that sad guy selling used cars! We’re all better off than that guy!” Or there’s some kid who said something in 1983 that we continue to repeat to this day that would mean nothing to anyone else. I don’t know why we felt so threatened at the time. Apparently, we had to put on this weird rough exterior.

Matt: We’ve tempered it as we’ve gotten older, but it’s probably always been in us to sorta assume everything is gonna suck.

From Kid’s Book to Cartoon

The Chapmans decide to author a tongue-in-cheek homemade children’s book called Homestar Runner as a goof between friends.

Mike: The whole thing came from our friend Jamie who, again, was mimicking a local terrible Atlanta grocery store commercial with one of the Braves in it. He said, like “Homestar runner for the Braves Mike Lemke!” And Matt and I laughed like, “what the hell is a homestar runner?” That was probably in 1995 or something, the phrase was just bouncing around in our head because we thought it was hilarious. One day Craig [Craig Zobel, filmmaker and friend of The Brothers Chaps] and I went to the bookstore because we were bored and we were just looking at kid’s books and were like, “Let’s make a kid’s book.”

Matt: It was like “hey, let’s make one of these! Look at these weird kid’s books! Kid’s books are terrible! Let’s make our own terrible kid’s books!”

Mike: We decided to just use Homestar Runner. We made that his name, and then we drew all the characters that day. In that one day, we came up with Homestar, and Pom Pom, and Strong Bad, and The Cheat, and Strong Mad. They were all created in a roughly two-hour period. The characters hadn’t existed in our head for a long time, and while they’ve changed a bit since then, they were all born at once.

Mike: We didn’t want to publish it. We just made it for ourselves. We probably printed five or 10 copies and gave it to our friends. It wasn’t like “our hopes and dreams depend on Homestar Runner!” But our dad actually sent it out to like 80 publishers without us knowing, and I remember being pissed at him when I found out. I think he got a couple rejection letters. A couple years passed without us doing anything with Homestar when we were in college, so it wasn’t until we started making web cartoons and learned Flash that things took off.

Matt: We were just trying to learn Flash using those characters. Once we had enough stuff we were like “we should put this on a website or whatever.”

Mike: We had Flash tutorial books and I dropped out of grad school for photography and was like, “I gotta learn this web design stuff man! I mean, it’s on the web!”

Matt: I think we intended the cartoons to be similar to early Cartoon Network, like Dexter’s Laboratory or Power Puff Girls. Like, those were kid’s cartoons but anyone could enjoy them. Very early on, in like 2000 or something, we pitched that version of Homestar Runner where it’s like, “every episode there’s a new competition! And Strong Bad’s the bad guy and Homestar’s the good guy!” They passed on that, and we were like “well, let’s keep doing this!” The next cartoons were like, “wouldn’t it be funny if we made this be about the moments in between the competitions?” And so that was the stuff that was funnier, the stuff happening between the plot points, which is hilarious because we hadn’t even established a routine of making cartoons about competitions, we’d made like one.

Mike: A lot of the world-building stuff happened quickly, like the old-timey 1936 version of the characters happened within the first three or four months. We had made like one or two cartoons and were like “we should do old-timey versions!” and soon after that, we were like “we should make anime versions!” The world started building from the get-go.

A Home Run

Without any advertising or publicity, Homestar Runner started to catch on through pure word of mouth, and Matt and Mike Chapman found themselves with truly unique full-time jobs.

Mike: We started selling our first shirt in 2001. There wasn’t huge demand or anything. I wouldn’t say it had caught on yet.

Matt: I was living in New York at the time and I remember Mike sending me a picture of himself in our shirt, I was very jealous.

Mike: For the first shirt we had, you needed to send a check to our parent’s house. So we sold a few dozen shirts by check only. Our dad was our accountant, so he started reviewing all that stuff. It wasn’t anything we intended to do full time.

Mike: I had a Cartoon Network calendar, and I kept our traffic stats in it. This was early on because shortly after we stopped looking at our stats entirely because we didn’t want that to affect how we made stuff or what we did. But I wrote down how many new visitors we got each day, and I remember hitting 1,000 visitors in a day sometime in 2001 or 2002.

Matt: We started doing a weekly cartoon when I moved back from New York. That’s when we first made Strong Bad Emails. I have to thank Earthlink Corporation for funding a year of Strong Bad Emails. I wouldn’t actually work on them at work, but I’d come into work after having stayed up all night making Strong Bad Emails on a Sunday night. The fact that I was allowed to go into work at 11am instead of 9am definitely contributed to the rise of Homestar.

Matt: Once we started getting angry emails when we were late getting a new cartoon up, I think it hit us that folks were counting on new stuff from us. That’s a cool feeling to know you’re as important as a cup of coffee or morning crossword to some folks. And then definitely when we received our first wedding/dating stories from people that bonded over our cartoons or met because of them and put a Homestar and Marzipan on their wedding cake. That’s nuts! Makes me feel like I should email the ghost of Paul Newman and tell him that my wife and I bonded over Cool Hand Luke!

Mike: In 2003, our dad told Matt to quit his job and do Homestar full-time. This is our financially conservative dad, telling us to quit our jobs to make Flash cartoons.

Matt: Mike and I would collaborate together all the time when we were kids, and when were home for Christmas break we’d always end up making something together, so doing Homestar full-time was really fun - but I remember friends saying “can we come over when you make a cartoon?” And we would be like “okay,” and we’d have a couple beers while we brainstormed an idea, and then it’s like “okay, Mike and I are going to put on headphones for 18 hours now and you’re not going to talk to us anymore until we’re done.” It was super fun, but it could also be hard work, which is also why once we had children and wives it made it a little harder to pull all-nighters and not sleep for three days to make a cartoon.

Matt: The Homestar references in the Buffy and Angel finales forever ago were huge. And there was this picture of Joss Whedon in a Strong Bad shirt from around that time that someone sent us that we couldn’t believe. Years later, a photo of Geddy Lee from Rush wearing a Strong Bad hat on stage circulated which similarly freaked us out. We have no idea if he knew what Strong Bad was, but our dumb animal character was on his head while he probably shredded ‘Working Man’ so I’ll take it!

Matt: I have no idea when our peak was viewership-wise, but 2002-2005 was definitely when we got to go the most nuts creatively. We expanded into weird live action and puppet stuff, CD’s, DVD’s, video games, toys, all kindsa crazy dream-come-true stuff we never thought we’d get to do. But, for me, if you want a more precise moment, I would say February of 2004, when on the same day we received a demo of a song that John Linnell from They Might Be Giants recorded for a Strong Bad Email and a full-size working Tom Servo puppet from Jim Mallon from Mystery Science Theater 3000. I remember specifically thinking, “It’s okay if no one watches another Homestar Runner cartoon or buys another t-shirt now, because today happened.”

“...Never a Real Business Plan.”

By 2010, Matt and Mike were both married with kids and were looking for other jobs in the television industry. They’ve had a hand in a number of acclaimed kid’s shows like Yo Gabba Gabba! Gravity Falls, The Aquabats Super Show, and Wander Over Yonder. Unfortunately, this didn’t leave a lot of time for Homestar Runner.

Mike: We always knew our business model was temporary. Everyday it was like, “We’re on borrowed time here, there’s just no way to make a living off of this, because it’s unsustainable.” We didn’t want to start selling ads, and this was before the era of Kickstarter or Patreon and other ways of artists monetizing directly from their audience. We were just like, “Let’s just do it this way, rather than try to change our business plan,” which was never a real business plan. Our mindset was, “We’re lucky to make money off this in the first place, and if it’s no longer making enough money to not have other jobs, we’ll not worry about it and get another job.” We didn’t to be one of those things that started selling e-cards or whatever.

We are constantly amazed that we were able to wriggle our way into a tiny, poorly animated corner of popular culture.

Mike: There [were] definitely people who bought way more shirts than they had any business buying, and it’s great that people felt that way without us having to be like,“Hey guys, we’re having a pledge drive.” It’s just a double-edged sword. Homestar needed to be supported somehow, but you never wanted to come out and say,“Hey, remember the only way we’re able to do this is if you buy a shirt, so buy a shirt!” We’ve always been uncomfortable with that. Our dad suggested adding a button to the end of the cartoons that said “Buy a shirt with Strong Bad on it!” And we were like “No, dad! That’s so lame!”

Matt: We have a property in Homestar called Cheat Commandos, which is basically making fun of old G.I. Joe cartoons. We eventually made Cheat Commandos toys and we wouldn’t even put an ad for the toys in the cartoon. That’s like, part of the joke, why didn’t we just do that and make some money? Like there was someone who told me recently that their favorite thing we ever did was Cheat Commandos, and they had no idea we’d even made toys! Probably a missed opportunity there! If anything we might’ve taken our punk rock status too far.

Mike: We went on hiatus after Matt had his second daughter. Around that time we knew we were going to have to start looking for other jobs, and we really just didn’t know how long it’d be before we could get back to Homestar. Maybe one month, two months, six months. After a certain point it almost became weird to say something about the break. In retrospect, we probably could’ve handled it a little better, but we just didn’t know.

Matt: We didn’t want to believe it either. I didn’t want to come out and say “hey we’re not doing this anymore for a while,” because that sucks! I wanted to be like “yeah we’re gonna make one this week! I swear! We’ll have time this week to make a new Strong Bad Email!” I know we probably bummed people out or lost some people’s respect for not saying anything, but we also wanted the site to be focused on the characters, so it would’ve felt like pulling back the curtain too far to suddenly be like “Hey! We’ve got kids! And it’s hard!” It didn’t seem worth it to be like, “We wrote the Yo Gabba Gabba! Christmas special! That’s why we’re taking a hiatus!”

GIF

Mike: There was also some creative burnout too. We had been doing it for 10 years and we probably stuck to that weekly schedule a little more strictly than we needed to, so we needed a break. It was definitely a slog sometimes. Like Saturday you’re at a friend’s house and it slowly dawns on you that “ah shit, we don’t have an idea for a cartoon.” Even during the hiatus I’d feel weird on the weekends because for 10 years there was this cloud looming over me that I had 20 hours straight of sitting in front of a computer bleary-eyed on Sunday night.

Done Running

On April 1, 2014, a new Homestar Runner cartoon was posted to the site. A few months later, Matt Chapman announced plans to continue the series, and since then they’ve done new Homestar content every couple of months. Right now the brothers are living it Atlanta again, working side by side on the Disney XD show Two More Eggs.

Mike: When we made the April Fool’s cartoon it had been about four years since we put anything on the site. Matt had moved to Los Angeles three years before to work on Gravity Falls and some other Disney stuff. I think he’d just decided that he was moving back to Atlanta, and we knew Homestar was going to make sense for us. The joke of that cartoon was Homestar finally updating his website, which is all dusty and unattended. The process wasn’t quite the same because we weren’t living together, but we pulled an all-nighter for the next one we did. Well, an all-nighter for us now means like staying up til 1am.

Last October, the Homestar Runner gang emerged from obscurity, and now it's the moment we have … Read more Read more

Matt: We really had no idea how many people would care or check back in if we made something new. It was a little scary tiptoeing back into things which is why we made it an April Fool’s cartoon. If nobody cared or everybody hated it, we could just say, “that was part of the joke! See ya in another 10 years!” and disappear. Fortunately, we didn’t have to do that. And even though we’ve only been able to make a few cartoons every year since, people still seem genuinely psyched when we are able to update. Coolest fans ever, man.

Mike: It’s kind of funny how much it feels the same when we make Homestar cartoons today. for I’m still sitting across my brother with my headphones on, working for 12 hours, putting it up in the early morning, and maybe stopping at Waffle House on the way home.

Matt: We are constantly amazed that we were able to wriggle our way into a tiny, poorly animated corner of popular culture. We recently did a couple Homestar 20th anniversary live shows here in Atlanta and the response was bigger and farther reaching than we could’ve imagined. A father and son came all the way from Anchorage just to see the show. That blew our minds and made us want to pay for their airfare.

Mike: It was always a very singular creative vision. It’s pretty much just the two of us, and there’s never a moment where one of us writes something and the other one doesn’t agree. Any joke is something either one of us could’ve written. It’s pretty crazy that we have four or five hundred cartoons that are all largely tied together, and it’s nuts that 20 years since making that initial book I’m still talking about it.

Matt: We’ve felt so many times over the years that we are super fortunate, that it can’t get any better, that no matter what else we do, we did this one little thing that mattered to some people for a while. Is that a good epitaph, “He did this one little thing that mattered to some people for a while?” We always say that we could get jobs making donuts at a grocery store bakery and be totally happy for the rest of our lives since we got to do Homestar. And now we’ve been saying that for over a decade.

Mike: We do Two More Eggs with the exact same process. We do one cartoon a week. We think of it, write it, animate it, and it’s done pretty quickly. I get the same weekly feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment. Some of the other projects we’ve done force you to think about the same thing for a month, and my brain just doesn’t work that way.

Matt: It’s great to be back working in the same room with my brother, surrounded by the weird junk we hang on our walls, flanked by the wood-paneled television from the basement of our childhood home and a wall of outdated video games and electronics. A few weeks ago we got to spend all day 3D printing a fake action figure and filling it with beef stroganoff for the Walt Disney company. Once you hit that point, I don’t think you’re allowed to complain ever again.

Luke Winkie is a writer and former pizza maker from San Diego and living in Austin, Texas. He writes about music, video games, professional wrestling, and whatever else interests him. You can find him on Twitter @luke_winkie.

#IFTTT #Feedly

0 notes

ds4design · 7 years

Text

An Oral History of Homestar Runner, the Internet's Favorite Cartoon

GIF

A Foundation of Snark

The Chapmans’ spend their early years learning how to make fun of things and amassing decades of pop culture references in a very short time.

Matt: We’ve tempered it as we’ve gotten older, but it’s probably always been in us to sorta assume everything is gonna suck.

From Kid’s Book to Cartoon

The Chapmans decide to author a tongue-in-cheek homemade children’s book called Homestar Runner as a goof between friends.

Matt: It was like “hey, let’s make one of these! Look at these weird kid’s books! Kid’s books are terrible! Let’s make our own terrible kid’s books!”

Matt: We were just trying to learn Flash using those characters. Once we had enough stuff we were like “we should put this on a website or whatever.”

Mike: We had Flash tutorial books and I dropped out of grad school for photography and was like, “I gotta learn this web design stuff man! I mean, it’s on the web!”

A Home Run

Without any advertising or publicity, Homestar Runner started to catch on through pure word of mouth, and Matt and Mike Chapman found themselves with truly unique full-time jobs.

Mike: We started selling our first shirt in 2001. There wasn’t huge demand or anything. I wouldn’t say it had caught on yet.

Matt: I was living in New York at the time and I remember Mike sending me a picture of himself in our shirt, I was very jealous.

Mike: In 2003, our dad told Matt to quit his job and do Homestar full-time. This is our financially conservative dad, telling us to quit our jobs to make Flash cartoons.

“...Never a Real Business Plan.”

We are constantly amazed that we were able to wriggle our way into a tiny, poorly animated corner of popular culture.

GIF

Done Running

Last October, the Homestar Runner gang emerged from obscurity, and now it's the moment we have … Read more Read more

0 notes