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sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 4 years

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Rose Red’s All Hallows Eve: Preordained Position

Summary- 5.8k Curtis Everett x You. Your boyfriend got you tickets to a charity Haunted House, and the special features include immersed scenes from the movie of your choice. Once you hear that the one and only Curtis Everett from Snowpiercer is a part of the choices, you just have to go. Prepare for a night of apocalyptic fun!

Warnings- Brutal Killing, Drug Use, Non Con/Dub Con, Swears. Read at your own risk.

A/N- Written for @jtargaryen18 Haunted House 2020. Be sure to read the warnings for each chapter. The page dividers were made by @firefly-graphics , I highly suggest checking out her work, its really excellent and a bit of everything to choose from. The manor described in this story, Rose Red, is a piece of work from Stephen King, and I highly suggest watching the tv mini series, if you can find it. Perfect for this time of year. Special thanks to @what-is-your-plan-today for being my Beta in this project. Happy Reading and Haunting! 😈🎃 🌹

Chapter 2 / Rose Red’s All Hallows Eve Masterlist

“Why the fuck we keeping her?” Edgar sneered at you. You swallowed and looked away feeling a little more exposed now it was just the five of you left. Edgar, Grey, Nam, Curtis and of course you. Somehow you've made it this far.

Curtis searched through the room, but found little of much use, his boot pushing aside children's bodies while he went through desks and bins. Straightening, he responded finally to Edgar’s question.

“Because she's useful, Wilford’s pet. Even if he sent her to the tail end, he hasn't lost track of her. If we kill the bitch now, what leverage do we have? Besides, she gave us information. Before we came in this car, she told me to watch out.”

You looked down and shrugged a bit. “I didn't know it was going to be like this.”

“Well, we could have come out of it a lot worse. I should have listened.” Curtis paused for a moment at Tonya and reached down to close the woman's eyes, sighing at the lost members of their group once more. Moving to a stand and grabbing a hold of the handle of his ax, he nodded to Nam. “We move forward.”

This time when Curtis jerked you to his side, it wasn't as rough, checking your shoulder with prods of his fingers. “This needs to be sealed off or else you are going to get weak and pass out. I'm not dragging you along.”

You could already feel the pain and blood loss starting to tire you out. “Next car, it’s medical, dentistry… other stuff.” You try to remember, but it's getting hazier now, doubting yourself after all the differences you’d already encountered compared to what you’d expected.

“Medic. Good. We can get them to patch us up.” Curtis nodded as he gave you a gentle push forward. Nam opened the next door and you stepped through wondering what hell you were all going to find this time.

Thankfully, it was nice, much nicer than any of the other carriages you have been in. Wide open rooms lined the sides of a red carpet, and Curtis peeked in each one in turn as you walked down the middle. Edgar and Grey remained at the rear, clearly on guard should anything pop out. But nothing happened, in fact the people filling this cart seemed to ignore each of you completely, which suited you fine. Curtis paused at a room which contained what looked like a doctor treating a patient, and steered you in there. For the first time since you’d entered this cart someone seemed to notice you two.

“I’m with a patient.” The doctor remarked, pulling away with a needle he had been injecting the man's face with. You couldn't help the wince you gave at the man's now unnatural looking face, much like those grinning kids that would haunt you probably for the rest of your life.

Curtis obviously didn't give a shit, using his axe to point at the door. “Get out before I carve your heart out.” The simple threat from this menacing man left the patient scrambling to get past everyone, scoffing when he brushed against Edgar and wiping the invisible dirt from his shirt. Edgar made like he was going to throw his own weapon, lining him up. “Be so easy ya know’ Just one fling.”

“Edgar get your ass in here and let's get you fixed up.” Curtis grunted as he eased his coat off, and then you could see where his shirt had been shredded, unaware of just how much damage he had taken.

At first concern bloomed through your chest, worried at what you were seeing. The doctor tutted as he started to patch up Curtis’s back, muttering under his breath. Then you started to remember this man kept you alive just cause you were useful, raped you because he thought you were nothing more then Wilford’s whore and your concern melted away as fast as it had appeared.

“Get over here Little Bird and let him look at your shoulder.” Curtis snapped when you were glaring at him, as he pushed off the seat. Just as he was moving to a stand, the doctor's hand whipped out from his jacket pocket and stabbed a needle into Curtis’s neck, pushing whatever was in the vial into his system.

With a yell Curtis whipped around and grabbed at the doctor's neck, his fingers digging into the column of his throat, but he started to collapse. Behind you the same thing was happening to Grey, Edgar and Nam, all caught unaware by guards who had seemingly appeared from nowhere, each man crumbling down into a heap on the floor. The doctor wrenched Curtis’s hand off him, and stepped away, tossing the used needle aside. You backed into a corner as the militia men came to collect each one of your captors, dragging them away. You tried to follow as they took Curtis, but the doctor stopped you sharply. “Oh I don't think so Y/N.”

“How do you know my name?” You snapped, trying to wrench away from him. This frail but surprisingly strong man smirked.

“Wilford already filled us in.” He stretched your arm out and used a prepared needle to stab you, even while you tried struggling.

“Where is he? He put me in this place” You tried to get answers, wriggling to get him to release you, but whatever he injected immediately hit you. This time when you started to go under, it wasn't nearly as painful as last time and the last thing you heard was the doctor's calming voice.

“If you survive this next couple of cars, you will meet with him.”

And then it was nothing but darkness, blessed darkness and you hoped to stay there for the rest of the time.

You woke to hands pawing at you, hot lips on your neck and your body being tossed back and forth as parts of your clothing got pulled off. When your eyes sprang open, you seemed to be in a pit, loud people standing above you looking down at you, laughing at your expense as they stared at you like you were an animal in a zoo. They started pouring bottles of cheap champagne over you till you were spluttering from being unable to breath without inhaling the alcohol, and they sprinkled you with something foul smelling, Even blowing the powder down at your face forcing you to inhale it. What the fuck? You try rubbing your face when everything starts fading in and out of focus, a slurred giggle bubbling from your chest. “W-what?”

Suddenly Edgar pushed you back, joined by Grey while they both jerked your pants down and you squealed in shock at the two men, each one wild eyed and giving that unnatural grin that scared you. You tried twisting away from them, desperately attempting to claw your way away. “No, no not again.” you sobbed. Just as you had almost pulled yourself free from the pit, a laughing front ender shoved their foot against your forehead and pushed you back into Grey and Edgar’s arms where they started grinding their aching bodies into your ass, hip, wherever they could while they hotly panted against your face. Whatever they gave you was making you lose your will to fight slowly, and Edgar rubbed a handful back under your nose so you breathed it in once more. Your eyes swept down to see that it was kronole and you suddenly realized that was the reason your mind was so foggy. As that thought broke through the mist in your brain you tried pulling away but to no avail.

Grey’s hands pulled you down to lay in the pit all the time the circle of people above remained jeering at your impeded state while he rutted through his clothing against you.

You were about to be raped again and couldn't stop it. In fact you were getting to the point you didn't care, the more the kronole messed with your senses. You went limp, the two men manipulating you back and forth between them, bites to your neck and shoulders, hands grabbing your breasts through your bra…

And then, your addled mind registered a roar of rage which came from somewhere above, and a dark shadow loomed over the group standing around your pit. You shrunk back in fear, as Grey and Edgar looked up in surprise.

Curtis dropped into the pit, clearly out of his mind too from kronole, but he was far more intimidating. “She's mine.” he snarled, and slammed both men away from you. He grabbed your hips, and jerked you against him, and his hand moved into your hair, ripping your head back viciously enough to make you scream. “Just proving my point, you’re Wilford’s whore rubbing against these boys.” He bit against your lips and pushed you back to sprawl against the ground. Grey was the first to recover, going for Curtis in a rage for being interrupted when Curtis whipped around, grabbing Grey’s head and giving a vicious wrench, twisting it till it jerked at an unnatural angle before he tossed his body out of the pit. Edgar came next, eyeing Curtis as he circled him, looking to attack. You tried to pull yourself up the wall when Curtis wrenched you back into him.

“You couldn't get away last time, you're not getting away this time.” Above the drugged onlookers cheered, breaking more kronole and sprinkling it down over the three of you. Curtis inhaled the powder deeply once more as it settled all over his face like a dusting of ash, and his pupils blew almost black suddenly. Dropping you, he twisted and attacked Edgar, the two men unevenly matched and equally out of their minds. Curtis had the upper hand being bigger and he ended up crashing Edgar's head over and over into the steel side of the pit, once his head was completely crushed in, he let him go and turned towards you.

Curtis was nothing but a kronole crazed demon now his face covered in the green dust of the drug. The lighting above continued shifting back and forth as more people packed in to watch, but your depraved audience faded out as the man came stalking towards you…

And then that fog descended on your brain once more and you realized you didn’t want to stop him. You were a slave to the heat rising in your chest and the clenching of your core at wanting this man to fuck you, needing him to fuck you. You scrambled over to him and leaped to wrap your arms and legs around him, grinding yourself into his tented pants, your nails digging into his jacket. You knew that if you didn’t fuck him right now, you would have to someone else. He slammed you into the wall, crushing your chest against his hard one, clearly experiencing the same madness you were, that driving need to pound into you. Edgar and Grey had done half the work before you were drugged, but now Curtis and his dirty clothes crushing the air from you was making you hotter, wetness coating the front of his pants as you gave a grind.

“Fuck me.” You finally hoarse out while trying to open the front of his pants.

Curtis grasped your wrist and easily pinned them back, spitting in your face. “Mine, that pussy belongs to me. Fuck those boys, and Fuck Wilford.”

You nodded and arched to give him room to get his cock out, causing you to look up, temporarily blinded once more as the partying people started to pour and throw random stuff down at you, garbage, more kronole dust, pouring that cheap champagne. But you didn't feel the stuff bouncing off you, nor did you hear the jeers at how nasty the tail enders were. No, all you could feel was Curtis as he slammed into you. So fast and hard, that you locked your legs harder around his hip, his grunts at how you were so tight around him were nothing but whooshing air right out of his lungs. Setting a brutal pace, fucking you into the wall, he used your body harshly, bruising you and you didn’t care. You didn't care that he was fisting his hand in your hair, or that his teeth were sinking into your neck and shoulders while his grunts matched each slamming slap on your body against the wall.

For you it was satisfaction at the burn, the hard rage he was forcing into your body. Your eyes rolled back while he arched himself to bite and kiss on your breasts, marking them with broken skin and lapping the blood that started to seep down your cleavage. It felt good, all so good that you couldn't hold yourself back and started cumming on his cock with no warning.

“Curtis- fuck I cant.” you started as he angled your hips, dragging his cock through clenching muscles and bottoming out. Those grinds against your clit, started you right back up again.

“Mine.” was all he said, his pupils still black soulless orbs, a grin that scared the shit out of you and you could do nothing but hang on once more as he used your body, marking you every which way, forcing you open around his cock over and over till you were ragdoll limp between him and the wall until he brought you off again, crying cause it was too much.

Then he finally jerked into you, his cum bringing you back aware at the soreness of your body, the sweaty ache and rawness where you were rubbed against him, between your thighs, sticky with a sharp ache. Your mind cleared, suddenly aware of where you were an what had happened and you took a shaky breath, your head sagging back against the wall as you fought back tears of despair. Curtis slowed, panting against your shoulder, and when he lifted away, those blue eyes you were familiar with were back, confusion as to what had happened was creased in every single line of his face, and he let your hands go, numb as they fell. You swiped your trembling hand over his kronole covered face quickly to wipe it away and you jerked his shirt over his nose. “Don't inhale anymore!” You pleaded and he pulled away, his hands falling to your hips to hold you standing as your legs were shaking.

“We have to get out of here. What's the next car?” He yanked his jacket off and swept it around you, covering your mouth and nose with the collar as you tried to figure out how you two were supposed to get out and through the people, who you now realized were also out of there fucking minds from the kronole. Curtis didn't seem to hesitate though, approaching the edge, he grabbed someone's legs and yanked, sending them sprawling and laughing, pulling them over the edge and kicking at their heads. “They are so fucking out of it from kronole and alcohol that they won’t put up to much of a fight.” He kept going, smashing people down till he could crawl out, shouldering others out of the way and reaching with his hand to grasp you. You tried not to step on anyone and held onto his hand as your legs were grabbed, one of the first people recovered enough to make a snatch at you. You screamed, kicking out your legs while Curtis pulled you up. People started to crowd against him, jostling him and also grabbing at you as he managed to get you over the edge and as you straightened up you realized they were trying to push you both back in.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” they started chanting while Curtis kept you against his chest, pushing you away from the pit.

Now you two were alone, weaponless, and being crowded in a mob of frontenders yelling obscenities. “Come on fuckers, we want a show.” Someone grasped at your coat and yanked you into the mob of people, you tried screaming Curtis' name but you were jostled too quickly, shifting from person to person, and you could see Curtis pushing through, trying to keep an eye on you as he split the crowd apart.

One thing that the frontenders were not was fighters. Curtis was easily able to shove and punch his way through. You ended up getting slammed into a giant steel door with a W on it, your head colliding painfully making you see stars and you were just coming around as someone was trying to pry open your coat. You slapped at him, and kicked him away, pulling it back closed. Curtis soon joined you, roaring for people to get back which for whatever reason they did, shrinking away enough so he couldn't hit them, making threatening moves to come forward again though hoping to intimidate him. The door behind you creaked, and you grabbed the back of Curtis’s jacket to pull him through, sure that you two would be safe.

The next room was nothing more than computers. You remembered this part of the movie, realizing that you were near the front and hopefully the end of this nightmare. Once Curtis was through, you slammed the door shut, pressing your forehead against it with a sob of fear while the crowd rushed forward, feeling the steel door shake with the force.

“Were safe, for now.” you said as you moved to straighten, and someone other than Curtis spoke.

“Yes, finally I’ve been waiting for a few days now for you two.”

A shiver racked your body as ice dread filled your veins and you looked over your shoulder to see Curtis shaking too. But not in the same way you were, instead he was trembling in adrenaline and rage at the man sitting so calmly before you. Wilford smiled at the two of you as he brought a fragile cup of steaming tea to his lips and slurped it loudly, smacking his lips. “I will say though, it's been a hell of a show. Sit sit! Coffee, tea? How about a night cap?”

You tug on Curtis’s sleeve to try to get his attention, but he's hyper fixated on Wilford, shaking you off. He storms forward to get his hands on him when Wilford pulls a gun out of his robe, aiming it for Curtis.

“Another step Everett, and I will not hesitate. SIT.”

With a look of absolute hatred on his face, begrudgingly Curtis did as told, whilst you remained still pressed against the door, feeling the slams of bodies pound on the door. “Come Y/N my dear, you have nothing to be worried about.” Wilford said in a manner so happy you wanted to scream at him.

Curtis's accusing and hurt eyes turned towards you after Wilford said that, and you shook your head at him.

“I swear Curtis, it isn't like that.” although why you were apologizing to your rapist captor you had no idea.

“I fucking know what it was like” Curtis spat “This was all a set up wasn't it?”

Wilford gave a chuckle as he poured liquor into fancy glasses, bringing them to the table.

“Well yes, it was a setup Curtis. But I assure you Y/N didn't know.” He pushed the glass to Curtis, and his icy blue eyes twinkled in joy. “But this is the first time you've gotten this far in a while.”

His head whipped back to Wilford. “Gotten this far?”

“Oh yes, you don't seem to like staying in your preordained position Curtis.” Wilford sighs as he finishes his drink. You listened intently, this too wasn't right. “But such is life… or death? More like this is our death. So, time for you to return.” Wilford gave a snap of his fingers, and Curtis stiffened, moving to a stand almost robotically.

“Curtis?” you whimpered out a bit seeing him stride back towards you, everything you knew about him was missing as you gazed up at him. He brushed past you, his hand cupped your face, thumb sweeping back and forth over your cheek before whispering. “I'm sorry…” he whispered in such a broken way, your mouth just dropped, gaping at him. Gone was the rage and fight, leaving just sorrow on his face and he slipped out the door back into the crowd. You spun around to watch him disappear into the mob, Wilford watching your reaction curiously. The door slammed shut suddenly, making you jump and spin around to face the only person left with you in the room. “Why is he sorry? I don't understand what is going on, any of this. Why is he just leaving me here with you?!” your voice breaks as you're saying this, so close to just melting down at the stress and fear that was taking a toll on your body.

“He’s sorry because he knows exactly what this place is and that he caused it. You see, before Curtis was this tailend leader, He was head of a construction crew for Rose Red, back in 1903.” Wilford seemed to struggle with remembering the date. “1904? Anyways, he was laying the foundation of Rose Red, while I was honeymooning with Ellen. I didn't want her to see any of this half finished, so we were touring across the world. Curtis had one major deadline, to finish our house in two years. I received telegraph after telegraph of nothing but issues from him. Working conditions were subpar, men were getting injured or killed in accidents of construction. The demands were unfair, pay not enough.” Wilford rolled his eyes listing the complaints, you were just listening in silence still in shock at what happened. “Finally I had enough, sent back that he was to be removed from the ground by authorities and another hired to take his place. Simple, correct?” He asked as if you were to answer. After a few seconds of those icy blue eyes staring at you he went back to the story. “Curtis thought he had all this ‘responsibility' to his men.’ Something in him snapped, and that bastard tried to stop the train I had bringing supplies in from the harbor. Curtis didn't just stop the train…” Wilford gave a chuckle of disbelief. “No, his attempts derailed the train where it sits now. Screeching metal coming to a stop, and killing hundreds of men onboard, himself included. That day is when Rose Red came to life, all that death, all at once stains the earth, the blood soaking into the dirt while they perished in the smoke and flames, trapped in steel boxes. When something that tragic happens, it stains the earth, trapped energy that allows hell on earth.”

You shook your head in disbelief, snapping out. “Impossible, whatever this is… why didn't Curtis just end you, we made it. This sick game you're playing with us. That's all this can be. I paid for an interactive experience, but not this.”

“Whatever this is, it’s your fate little girl, accept it.” Wilford cut you off with a snap, smoothing his hands over the fine silk of his robe. “And don't worry about Curtis Y/N, he will return safely to the tail end, and start all over again, that is the way it has to be, that is what fate Rose Red wants for him.”

You could feel bile threatening to burn its way up your throat, you couldn't let yourself believe what he was saying, as it was simply impossible. These things didn't exist, they were books and movies, tales told to tell children to scare them into behaving. Ghosts? Haunted Houses. Your mind echoed Bryce’s words earlier that night ‘You know that shit isn't real’. So what was Wilford playing at? You finally snapped, giggling, turning into laughter. Wilford ignored you, till you started screaming at him.

“YOU GO GET STACEY, CAUSE I WANT THE FUCK OFF THIS TRAIN, NOW.” your voice kept getting shriller with each word. “WHEN BRYCE HEARS ABOUT THIS, YOU CAN BET HIS GRANDFATHER WILL HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT THIS CHARITY FUNCTION.”

Wilford arched one brow and chuckled, moving to a stand, and wrapping his fingers around the second untouched glass. “Stacey? Y/n, you know what you saw. Wasn't Stacy’s face smashed in?” You closed your eyes, pushing down the image, chanting in your mind, not real, not real, all pretend. “Matter of factually Y/N, you have Bryce to thank for your active participation in Snowpiercer.”

Your eyes snap open at this, narrowing on Wilford “Bryce? What does Bryce have to do with whatever this all is?” you’re confused at why your boyfriend would be mentioned and you slide along the wall to keep away from Wilford as he comes closer to you till you bump into the table and fall into Curtis’s seat.

“Why everything Y/N. You see, Rose Red Manor is indeed haunted. My wife Ellen, that is her domain. Your boyfriend happened to break in looking for some artifacts I came back with when we were on our honeymoon in Africa. They would be considered valuable now, but my grandson didn't care to have my collection so they remained in the manor. Bryce though, well he admired the pieces, wanted to study them.” Wilford gave a shake of his head with a sigh. “Bryce was of course killed by Ellen. Her rage towards me, makes her banish men's souls to the ground.”

And then your mind recalled the story, Rimbauer infected his wife with some unknown disease while they were on their exotic honeymoon, that was why the rumors went that men who entered Rose Red were gruesomely killed, where women simply disappeared to never be seen again…

“Bryce isn't dead, I saw him. I talked to him tonight.” You shook your head

“Yes, he's very much alive now Dear, but he wasn’t for a time. His body was stuck in the house, ready to rot right where Ellen killed him. But she banished his soul from the house, and left Bryce's soul wandering the grounds, he happened to stumble upon my part of Rose Red, what luck.” Wilford sipped from the glass, swirling it a bit. “You know I miss the real stuff?” shrugging he set it down. “Bryce happened to find me, begging to be brought back, and would give anything to return to the living. I had no interest, all that matters is Rose Red has fresh souls to feed off of. But your boyfriend made a proposition that I was intrigued with. An innocent soul in his place. Do you know how valuable an innocent soul is? So much more to give, cruel I know, the unfairness of using something so pure and innocent to keep his parasite of a house alive. But I must do what can to keep my Ellen happy in life or death. It is my fault she has to live eternity like this.” His cold fingers traced your face, you wrenching back out of his touch.

“No… he wouldn't do that, he wouldn’t sacrifice me…” you whispered, your throat closing and your heart slamming in your chest. And then the wave of realization crashed over you. of course he would. Bryce was the most selfish man you've ever met.

Wilford tsked a bit. “Well one innocent soul isn't enough to feed Rose Red, to give the house enough energy to keep building like Ellen wants. The house must keep growing, Ellen’s soul would die and fade away if she couldn't keep adding more to her collection. I told Bryce two innocent souls, delivered by tonight, and he could leave alive and free. But don't worry, Bryce will pay eventually, you can't make a deal with a devil and expect to walk away untainted.”

Not Stacey too. You screamed internally. No wonder Bryce insisted you take her as well.

“I must be asleep, a nightmare.” You spit out, your hands shaking as you rubbed at them, trying to wipe off the dried blood, hoping it would wake you up, that all this was some kind of crazy your mind made up. Wilford almost looked sympathetic when he spoke again.

“I’m afraid not Dear. Bryce told me about how you loved this Snowpiercer story, so I figured if you're going to be condemned to this, might as well be enjoyable.”

“I don't want to be condemned! Please how can I get out of this?” You started to figure out ways to bargain, like Bryce apparently did. But Wilford responded with a mere shake of the head.

“Ahh, that won't be happening. Innocent souls are much stronger. Rose Red can keep building now… many years on you alone. Ellen will be much pleased. Curtis also likes you as well, he was always one of my favorite victims of Rose Red.” Wilford leaned back in his chair. “Since he's banished to an eternity of hell, he deserves someone to make it easier. His own little songbird singing him hope. Any other girl I’ve sent him, he always ends up murdering her before he gets cut down.”

You were whipping your head back and forth, pushing to a stand to start looking for a way out, anyway to get off the train, and Wilford just watched you for a moment processing all that he was saying.

“If it's any help, you will be joined with Stacey again. Maybe your next trip to the front, you will manage to keep her alive.” Wilford moved to a stand as you tried to open the door, yanking on it to open, when he twisted you to face him, your bottom lip trembling as you looked up at him.

“Please… I don't deserve this.” you whimpered.

“You don’t Dear, but you're going to endure it as we all must. Very few victims of Rose Red actually deserve the fate that has befallen them.” He plucked the Rose from his breast pocket from earlier and laced it through your hair while you trembled, tears rolling down your face as you started to accept the truth of it all.

“You're not going to let me off this train, are you?” your voice trembled with defeat, and Wilford shook his head.

“No, you now belong to Curtis Dear. His one reward for his life of hell. Although I will leave you with a parting gift. Your memory will remain so you can help him make his way through the Cars to the end. Save you from some of the pain of being brutally killed.” fear washed over your face and Wilford smiled gently to reassure you, although there was no way it was going to make you feel any better, be less afraid. “I will be seeing you again soon Dear.” Wilford said softly before he leaned forward and kissed your forehead, your eyes closing in defeat.

You opened to darkness, gasping as you tried to understand where you were. It was intensely cold again, and a dim light came into your view, a tiny fire from a match. A familiar face loomed from the darkness to rake cerulean eyes over you, his head tilting as he looked you up and down.

“Wilford sent us a present.”

No, not again. You think as you're dropping to your knees to beg Curtis not to hurt you. “Please, have mercy on me.”

“Mercy? Were we ever shown any mercy? I don't know what Wilford was thinking Little Bird, sending you back to me with this innocent act of yours. But don’t worry I will make you sing.”

And then he gave a shake of his wrist, killing the match and plunging you both back into the darkness.

Your hell started all over again.

#jshauntedhouse2020 #curtis everett #curtis everett x you #curtis everett fanfic #snowpiercer #snowpiercer fanfic #rose red's all hallows eve #amber writes #sweater writes

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jbuffyangel · 3 years

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The Bermuda Triangle: Arrow 1x13 Review (Betrayal)

Time to deal with this love triangle and all the ways it is awful.

Let’s dig in...

L*uriver vs. Merlance

I frequently say to myself as I rewatch Season 1 that the triangle makes sense in theory. The writers have all the components, albeit clichéd, that should create a love triangle full of juicy drama.

Man wrongs woman in another life thereby destroying any future together

Woman falls for secret identity without realizing it is the same man who hurt her

Man “gives up” woman for her own good

Man and best friend are in love with the same woman

Best friend changes his ways and becomes the perfect boyfriend

Woman no longer wants best friend and instead lusts for secret identity bad boy

And round and round we go. The problem is this doesn’t really tread any new ground. How many times have we seen this type of love triangle play out? MANY TIMES. Not saying a tried and true trope can’t be repeated, but if you’re going to use it then try to inject some new life into it.

Arrow stays stubbornly in between the lines on this one, which means there are no real surprises. We know exactly where this is headed. Everyone is just waiting for L*urel to choose Oliver. Hell, even Tommy knows it is coming someday.

This brings us to our second problem. L*urel choosing Oliver is so inevitable it doesn’t require a lot of character growth for either of them. L*urel and Oliver have not dealt with ANY of the issues that caused their demise. Yes, Oliver cheated on L*urel, but there were reasons why he cheated. Those have yet to be discussed.

We’re supposed to accept that since Oliver is wearing the hood and is out saving the streets as the vigilante then he is “worthy” of L*urel again. We’re supposed to be waiting with baited breath for L*urel to discover Oliver’s secret identity, realize he’s the man in the hood she’s been lusting after, and fall back into his arms where she belongs.

I think not. Don’t get me wrong. I love me a good triangle. I loved The Vampire Diaries. Two brothers in love with the same woman. Interesting. Woman looks exactly like the lost love that destroyed their bond a hundred years earlier? MORE INTERESTING. And kinky.

I enjoy exploring the varying ways love is expressed in different relationships and what it can reveal about the characters. There isn’t always a right or wrong choice. There’s just a choice and it reflects the kind of love you need to live.

But I understand the complaints about love triangles. Oliver, L*urel and Tommy are the PERFECT validation of those complaints. It’s a tired way to insert some drama that has a completely predictable ending. The even bigger problem is there’s barely enough heat to melt an ice cube. L*uriver is frigid. Merlance is better, but they certainly aren’t an inferno.

“Betrayal” does an excellent job of highlighting all the love triangle problems which plague Season 1. We’re all waiting for L*urel to see that Oliver is a changed man. If only she knew he was The Hood! Her anger and hurt over Sara blinds her ability to see those changes. He needs to wear the mask, so L*urel can see who Oliver truly is. God that sounds good doesn’t it?

IT’S NOT GOOD.

Sara was a symptom of much bigger problems between L*urel and Oliver. He did not want to be with L*urel, so he blew their relationship up in a fairly spectacular display of self sabotage.

Why doesn’t Oliver want to be with L*urel? Well... welcome to Oliver’s mind. He’s been asking himself that same question for the last five years. If he wanted to be with L*urel then he would have never left town. He would have never cheated on her with Sara. Then Sara would be alive. His father would be alive. EVERY ounce of guilt Oliver Queen carries is connected to that one single choice of leaving L*urel.

So, it’s fairly easy to understand why Oliver thinks being with L*urel will fix everything. If he can fix things with L*urel then he’s truly forgiven. It washes away the sins of the past. It’s like it never happened. At this point, this is what Oliver wants more than ANYTHING. He can’t bring Sara or Robert back. But he can resuscitate his dead relationship with his ex-girlfriend. Close enough. The man isn’t choosey after five years of misery.

Unfortunately, Oliver hasn’t changed at all when it comes to L*urel Lance. Oh I know BUT THE HOOD. Listen y’all, throwing on leather accessories and playing Robin Hood doesn’t equate to relationship therapy. Sorry writers. I need more than crime fighting to believe Oliver can be the perfect boyfriend now.

He continues to make all the same mistakes. OLIVER IS STILL LYING TO L*UREL. He lies to her every day. He lies when he’s wearing the hood. He lies when he’s not wearing the hood. LIES LIES LIES LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIESS. Oliver continues to hide who he truly is from L*urel. Different outfit. Same problems.

This brings us to SO. MUCH. MISOGYN. Lance is using the phone The Hood gave L*urel to trap him. Whenever we are looking at betrayal and the Lance family it’s important to grade on a curve. It’s a dirty move on Quentin’s part, but far from the gold medal of betrayals this family achieves.

Source: @laurelsource

Everyone finds out that L*urel is working with the Hood and by everyone I mean Tommy. Quentin follows L*urel with a battalion of police officers to her meeting with The Hood. He’s gathered information on a newly released crime boss, Cyrus Vanch. When Oliver realizes they’ve been busted he holds L*urel by the throat as cover so he can jump off the roof. BuT tHeIr LoVe Is iS hEaLtHy.

Source: @dinahlaurellancesource

As L*urel rants to her current boyfriend (yes I use the word “current” on purpose), he pieces together that she’s been lying to him about working with The Hood.

Source: THEARROWGIFS:

L*urel: He's been lying to me for weeks.

Tommy: Yeah feels like crap doesn't it?

Are we surprised L*urel fails to see the hypocrisy in her little rant?

We are not. This is why Tommy was always the better man for L*urel. He actually had a pair and would call her on her BS. Oliver was incapable of doing until well into Season 2, but I digress.

So, Tommy goes to his best friend Oliver for relationship advice. I know this is a television show, but why in the ever living mother of Zeus do L*urel and Tommy think OLIVER is the best person to ask for relationship advice?

Oliver: Tommy, every time you want to talk to me about something, and that something is L*urel, you look like you’re about to tell me you have some terminal disease.

Me: He does have a terminal disease. It’s called L*URIVER.

Tommy: She’s been working with The Hood guy.

Oliver: What? You’re letting her work with that crazy person? She could get hurt Tommy.

Tommy: I’m not letting her do anything. I only just found out about it.

I know this episode aired in 2012, but talk about some patriarchal bullshit. The entire episode is filled with language like this. Quentin, Oliver, Tommy and The Hood all act like L*urel needs their permission to go to the bathroom. New flash fellas: If L*urel wants to engage in nightly rendezvous with a serial killer that’s her business.

L*urel says something to similar effect, but is summarily blown off by whatever male she’s speaking to. She meets up with The Hood after he and Lance save her from Cyrus Vanch.

Source: BJ-HUNNICUTTS-BLOG

It seems The Hood didn’t think through all the ways talking to L*urel on a phone and meeting her secretly on rooftops would put her in danger.

Source: BJ-HUNNICUTTS-BLOG

L*urel: I knew the risks.

The Hood: Now I know them and I’m not willing to take them with you.

L*urel: What does that mean?

It means he wants to bone you, L*urel. Get a clue.

Holy hell, these conversations make her look stupid. L*urel, do you know a lot of six foot men with similar build and facial hair to Oliver Queen?

Maybe she would take issue with his infantilizing if she stopped speaking like a three year old whenever The Hood is around.

Source: LAURELSOURCE

She has this dazed expression too. I know L*urel is so overwhelmed with all the ATTRACTION and LUST that her eyes dilate and the bosom heaves, but I’m starting to think a taser gun is how they forced Katie do scenes with Stephen.

Source: @dinahlaurellancesource

The point is nobody is all that interested in L*urel’s agency – INCLUDING L*UREL. I understand “secret identity” is a very common trope in hero’s stories, but it never makes any sense to me. Shouldn’t the “true love” be the first person to know who the hero is and not the last? Oliver keeps saying he can’t tell the people he loves who he truly is because it will put them in danger. So, he doesn’t care if Diggle gets killed? His logic makes no sense. If this was truly about protecting people then why did he need a partner?

And no – you can’t use John can protect himself. We just watched L*urel throw down with that umbrella. She was lethal.

Source: @dinahlaurellancesource

Oliver is the king of compartmentalization. He does not know how to merge his two selves yet. He cannot fathom showing Thea, Moira, Tommy and L*urel his darkest self because that means being honest about what happened the five years he was away and what it did to him. That will be a hard pass from our leather clad hero.

My other issue with the love triangle (in addition to all the lying and misogyny) is Oliver comes off like an asshole. He manipulates Tommy with statements like, "L*urel is lying? That doesn't seem like her” and “ have an honest chat with her” like there is something in their relationship causing her to lie or that Tommy is responsible for L*urel’s behavior. He’s slowly pecking away at the Merlance walls until it crumbles. DIRTY POKER OLIVER QUEEN.

But then we arrive at this gross fest:

Tommy: There’s some sort of infatuation thing going on here. We both know that she has a pretty strong track record of being attracted to guys who are dangerous, who break the rules. Show me a more dangerous rule breaker than The Hood.

Oliver: I just think you need to have an honest chat with her. Find out the real reason she’s keep secrets.

Tommy: I just can’t believe that L*urel of all people would lie to my face. I guess that’s the way it is with the people you are closest to.

Oliver: I know, but talk to her anyway. And fix this before it becomes something that’s unfixable.

Did this conversation actually happen?

Does anyone else find it weird that Tommy and Oliver psychoanalyze L*urel’s dating preferences?

And even weirder they are ACCURATE?

Credit where credit is due. L*urel likes bad boys right up until they become good boys. Then she’s off to find the next asshole that will lie, cheat and disappoint her. (We could do an entire novel’s worth of L*urel Lance’s toxic dating choices).

Even worse, Tommy concludes she has the hots for The Hood like it’s nothing. Like it’s completely normal and okay behavior.

Holy hell man! Tommy, maybe L*urel has beaten any self respect into the ground, but IT’S OK TO EXPECT YOUR GIRLFRIEND TO NOT BE INFATUATED WITH OTHER MEN.

What’s really gross is Oliver lies straight to Tommy’s face (no differently than L*urel did) while using the secret identity to engage in inappropriate flirting with his best friend’s girlfriend. He uses the hood to say things to L*urel that he would NEVER say as Oliver Queen. And L*urel never tells The Hood she has a boyfriend or to back off. In fact, she encourages the behavior. THIS. IS. CHEATING. Maybe not physical, but it sure is emotional.

Let’s also never forget L*urel started sleeping with Tommy as a way to stick it to Oliver. She wasn’t expecting to develop real feelings for Tommy, and I do believe she loves him, but that doesn’t erase the toxicity of this cycle that somebody needs to end.

There’s just no good here, my friends.

Source: @dinahlaurellancesource

The writers are relying on an empty “they are supposed to be together” promise without providing any evidence why. Neither L*urel nor Oliver has changed in a meaningful way to support giving their relationship another try. The problem between them wasn’t whether or not Oliver fought street crime. The problem was honesty. Between all the lying and just-on-the-line cheating, I’d argue they bring out the worst in each other. Nuclear winter has better chemistry. Need I go on?

Ok. I will.

The only one who has shown any growth is Tommy. This is change L*urel encouraged in Tommy, but then he became dependable and honest, so she started lusting after The Hood. Both Oliver and L*urel are lying to him about a variety of things. With friends like these who needs enemies?

L*urel is treated like some prize, but is she a prize they really want to win? Neither man is given a reason to love L*urel beyond she’s who they are supposed to want.

Source: @dinahlaurellancesource

Don’t get me wrong. I am a Merlance shipper, but it is hard to root for their ship at this point. If the writers just left them alone and let them be adorable then it would be fine.

Source: @dinahlaurellancesource

BUT. THEY. KEEP. INSERTING. OLIVER.

And where is L*urel’s character? We’re thirteen episodes in and she’s too busy flip flopping personalities for me to nail her down to one specifically. For arguments sake, let’s say the hot and cold behavior IS one of her main traits. It only surfaces in relation to Oliver. L*urel flips on him which causes her to flop on Tommy. L*urel’s actions are simply a reaction to Oliver. That’s not agency. That’s a prop.

Source: @dinahlaurellancesource

It’s almost like the writers can’t be bothered with more. She’s a justice seeking, self sacrificing attorney who works pro bono. TA DA! Character is complete. Nothing more to see here!

Well, if that’s the criteria then why isn’t Joanna in the running for hero’s true love? Throw Annie Ilonzeh in a room with Stephen Amell. Let’s see if the chemistry is any better.

The writers haven’t constructed L*urel’s character beyond a hockey puck for Tommy and Oliver to pass to each other until we reach the inevitable conclusion of L*urel “choosing” Oliver. It’s like watching a train speed toward a brick wall. I know the crash is coming, but I’m not apprehensive about it or grotesquely fascinated or even scared. I’m just want out of this Bermuda Triangle.

Quentin and L*urel

The only real interesting facet of L*urel’s character is her relationship with her father. I love the raw pain between them. It is always just under the surface. The writers throw those problems like grenades in their scenes together. Katie isn’t given much to work with, but her best material is always with Paul Blackthorne.

Source: LAURELSOURCE

Quentin using his daughter as bait was brilliant, but shadey. Super shadey. It also had the unintended consequence of getting her kidnapped by a mob boss. Oops. I sort of love that Quentin had to eat crow and call The Hood for help once he figured out there was a dirty cop feeding Vance information.

L*urel is in a rage after being held hostage by The Hood. (He can use her as a human shield because he loves her. No problems here. Nope nope nope!) Quentin really hoped L*urel would appreciate his fine detective work, but she’s pretty pissed off about all the guns pointed at her. She feels her father has lost his perspective on this particular case.

L*urel: Are you gonna find another criminal? Someone else to blame for mom leaving, for Sara dying, for your drinking?

The gloves come off! Daaaaaamn. The booze? We’re going there? Meow.

I agree Quentin Lance has an addictive personality. He directs his rage and grief into an outlet he can control. Hmm… who else does that?

However, L*urel’s indignation is a little much. She is cavorting with a known criminal. The same criminal her father is investigating. L*urel does nothing to help the investigation and one could argue she impedes the investigation. This is called obstruction of justice, Counselor. L*urel actually commissioned the crime The Hood is perpetrating this week, so she could also be charged as an accessory after the fact. Maybe even aiding and abetting. So, her horror at the police pointing guns at her is somewhat ludicrous. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.

Source: LAURELSOURCE

L*urel spends much of the episode fighting the rampant patriarchy and misogyny of the men around her by firmly accepting the danger of working with the vigilante. She is prepared to take those risks.

Source: LAURELSOURCE

But then L*urel is appalled the second she’s put in any danger and holds all the men responsible for not keeping her safe.

She can be mad her dad lied to her, but stop clutching the pearls. If L*urel wants to play the vigilante game then she is going to be used as bait and occasionally get kidnapped. That’s what everyone means by danger, girl. You’re either in or you’re out. If you’re in then you don’t get to blame anyone else for danger knocking on your door. Own your choices honey. THY NAME IS AGENCY.

Oliver and Diggle

This is week 323 of Diggle arguing that Moira is guilty as sin and Oliver ignoring the massive pile of evidence supporting that belief.

Ok, it hasn’t been that many weeks, but it feels like it. Thou Shall Not Question Diggle. He is always right, but Oliver digs his stubborn heels in. So, John offers to drive Moira around for a week and bugs her. As one does.

Oliver: You bugged my mother?

This is how OTA shows their love, Oliver. Diggle knows Moira is a slippery snake and can wiggle out of any question Oliver asks her. She even burns the copy of the List Felicity gave him after Oliver confronts her with it.

Moira insists she never associated with the people in Robert’s book and knew it only as a list of people who owed him favors. Oliver believes his mother is trying to protect her children from Walter’s fate.

So, John gets Moira ON TAPE discussing The Undertaking with Malcolm Merlyn and the sabotage of Robert Queen’s boat.

We’re going to ignore that Moira’s voice is perfectly identifiable, but Merlyn’s is about ten octaves lower. The point is these are information diamonds Diggle unearths and Oliver FINALLY agrees to pay his mother a visit as The Hood.

Flashbacks

The best part of the flashbacks is meeting all the people who helped Oliver Queen become The Hood.

Source: @olivergifs

Hello Slade Wilson! He’s a massively important character in Arrow and it is fun to rewatch how he came into Oliver’s life.

Slade and his partner, the man who tortured Oliver, are Australian Intelligence who came to Lian Yu to free Yao Fei. Slade and Yao Fei have been monitoring an air field so they can escape the island, but he cannot take it alone. There is always a reason behind all of Yao Fei’s actions, but it takes Slade a minute to figure out why he sent Oliver.

Slade: You have no skill. No strength. No training. To say you fight like a girl would be a compliment.

I’m equally indignant and amused by that line. Slade doesn’t believe Oliver will be any help to him because well… he met him. If Oliver is ever captured again he could reveal Slade’s location. So, he decides to behead Oliver. It’s the nice thing to do. It won’t hurt a bit. What can I say guys? It’s Lian Yu! These are how the memories are made.

Oliver dislocates his shoulder and punches Slade in a vain attempt to defend himself. Yao Fei may be a softer judge of character, but he’s not wrong about Oliver’s survival instinct. Slade sees the fight in Oliver’s eyes and finally understands why Yao Fei sent him. They need Oliver to survive as much as he needs them. He might not be much to look at now, but Slade Wilson is just the man to harness Oliver’s will and turn him into the fighter they all need him to become.

Stray Thoughts

David Anders is like my personal Kevin Bacon. He's in everything I watch. #Arrow #TVD #Alias #OUAT

I was never all that jazzed when L*urel was the damsel in distress and I love that crap. Another clue I didn't ship it. Source: LAURELSOURCE

Do people on this show not realize you can’t touch evidence? JFC.

Twenty four arrows in the quiver. Good to know.

“It doesn’t mean I have to read the bastard his rights though.” IF YOU WANT THE CHARGES TO STICK YOU DO.

I am so confused on what type of law L*urel practices. Her firm works for a victim’s advocacy group, but she also prosecutes criminal cases. This feels like a radiologist performing heart surgery.

KC is just really bad at action scenes. It's always so awkward.

Musings of the Kiddo

Kiddo: Does he ever run out of arrows?

Me: He has extra in the car.

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me.

If you’d like to support the blog, please buy me a cup of tea!

#arrow #arrow review #arrow 1x13 #arrow reviews #anti laurel lance #anti lauriver #merlance #anti katie cassidy #quentin lance #arrow rewatch #arrow season 1 #season 1 episode review #season 1 episode reviews #tommy merlyn

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battlestar-royco · 4 years

Photo

here is part 2 of my sci fi recs masterlist! again, i could’ve gone on with even more recs but i decided to draw the line here. this set for the most part errs on the darker side, thematically, visually, conceptually etc. i personally find it super thought-provoking and intriguing but that’s just me. i highly recommend reading the tw under the cut if you’re thinking of watching, especially the matrix and space gothic slides. please view at your discretion <3

part 1/2

If you like WLW (um idk why I only made this slide based on identity; it just kinda happened lmao but I think it works):

Siren: (tw: parent loss, grief, thalassophobia) a mermaid surfaces in a cove town looking for her lost sister. Polyamorous relationship between a man, a black/indigenous woman, and the mermaid!!!! Environmentalism! As a person who has thalassophobia, I didn’t find this too hard to watch. There aren’t that many underwater scenes, thankfully.

Black Mirror: San Junipero: (tw: grief, but otherwise none that I recall; it’s pretty lighthearted) two women meet in a beach resort in the 80s and fall in love. Interracial wlw!

Orphan Black: (tw: suicide, infertility, rape implication, VB, language, drug use) a woman realizes she is one of several clones and uncovers an elaborate corporate conspiracy. This is one of my personal favorites with great rep of complex women of all ages and bodily autonomy. Several central queer characters and a black male secondary character!

Starfish: (tw: grief, a few jump scares and brief monstrous imagery, blood) after the death of her best friend, a young woman breaks into the deceased’s apartment and discovers a chain of music tapes that could save the world. Weird, subtle, and experimental. Not to sound like a surfer but you kinda have to allow yourself to be in the vibe. The main character and her friend were definitely a thing imo.

Annihilation: (tw: body horror, VB, disturbing imagery) a team of women scientists explore an anomaly that rapidly mutates genes. There are canonical and coded wlw and multiple (light-skinned) POC in this but the rep is short-lived. I put it on because although it should’ve been more ambitious with the casting, I think it breaks *some* ground for Hollywood sci fi with the all-woman team and more than one WOC. Wack ending though.

Mad Max: Fury Road: (tw: rape implication, violence) I think everyone knows about this one but: in the apocalypse, a woman breaks 4 younger women out of a harem. A badass car chase across the desert ensues. A bit light on plot/worldbuilding, but sooooo cool-looking and very thematic!!!!

If you liked STRANGER THINGS:

It: (tw: VB) don’t actually watch this lmao I’m serious. It’s really stupid, and not in a funny way. But I do think Stranger Things was inspired by this story overall. The modern It films are better but they’re also really kjslsklskls stupid? Stephen King in general is obsolete imo.

The Thing: (tw: VB) an alien that can take the form of others wreaks havoc on a scientific facility in Antarctica. It’s dark and vibey, but I feel like it’s just Alien in Antarctica with truly terrible special effects tbh?? Others feel differently. It’s also classified as sci fi/horror, so stay away if you’re easily scared! Not too good on representation.

Super 8: (tw: some language) a group of preteens witnesses an alien-caused train crash as they’re filming a home movie. Not diverse but I definitely think it inspired a lot of sci fi for the 2010s, ESPECIALLY Stranger Things. Not too scary either!

ET: (tw: it’s been a really long time since I watched so I don’t remember but it’s rated PG) I think everyone knows what this is about!

Alien: (tw: VB) truckers in space discover a deadly evolving alien. One of my favorite movies of all time! I love the aesthetic and the mood and worldbuilding so much. Ellen Ripley is one of the first Final Girls in the horror genre. I personally found this more of a sci fi than a horror movie but I’d say stay away if you’re nervous!!

Terminator: (tw: VB) a deadly android is sent to kill a woman who’s destined to birth the man who saves the world. Terminator 2 is way better imo because it centers on Sarah rather than the dudes saving her and trying to kill her. But it’s still worth a watch, you know, for the culture.

If you liked CONTAGION:

War of the Worlds: (tw: blood) pretty straightforward aliens come to Earth to take over. Sorry to rec another T*m Cruise movie but I really like the alien design and the apocalypsey feel of this one. Baby Dakota Fanning is in it too!

Falling Skies: (tw: VB, body horror, rape) alien invasion yada yada but the alien lore gets more interesting as it goes on. It’s kind of cheesy and yeah maybe I did discover it by looking up the iCarly boyfriend (and what about it??) but it’s nice to have on in the downtime. An Asian woman co-stars.

Knowing: (tw: blood) school students unearth a time capsule that contains a sheet from a girl who predicted all the tragic world events between 1959-2009. This is NOT a good movie but it’s SO hilarious to me because of the acting and contrivances. Fun to group-watch!!!!

10 Cloverfield Lane: (tw: VB, emotional abuse) a woman wakes up in a bunker to a captor who tells her that the world has fallen to alien apocalypse. I think this movie elevates the original Cloverfield in pretty much every way. Again, super tense and moody. The conflict revolves around whether or not the captor is being truthful.

Train to Busan: (tw: extreme VB and disturbing imagery) a man and his daughter are on a train when a zombie hops on at the last minute. It’s Korean with an all-Asian cast; Choi Woo-shik co-stars. I definitely wouldn’t watch if you’re scared of blood and gore. It’s very gross and violent.

12 Monkeys: (tw: ableism, violence) a man from the 2030s is sent back to the 1990s to prevent the plague that will end the world. I think the aesthetics of this are really cool but otherwise it’s not a favorite. But I think it appeals to people who like apocalypse and time travel stuff!

If you liked THE MATRIX:

Strange Days: (tw: rape, sex, nudity, VB, racism, police brutality) memories can be saved to hard-drives and sold on the black market for exorbitant prices. Very problematic and triggering presentation of rape, but young Angela Basset stars and there’s a condemnation of police brutality that’s still relevant 20+ years after its release.

Upgrade: (tw: ableism, VB, fridging) a disabled man installs an AI in his spine to help him move and investigate the murder of his wife. The premise is glaringly ableist and I feel weird even recommending it tbh but it’s got great visuals and a few good twists.

Altered Carbon: (tw: VB, weird interracial body switching, uhhh I haven’t finished this one IDK) in a society where human bodies are interchangeable, a man wakes up in a new body after 300 years of his mind being dormant. A Latina woman co-stars, two Asian characters in a subplot, a few other POC here and there as well. I think season 2 stars a black man.

eXistenZ: (tw: VB, anti-Asian racism, general weirdness? IDK it’s hard to describe. There are guns made out of bones and weirdly sexual visuals.) after someone tries to assassinate her, a video game designer and her bodyguard must play through her virtual reality game in order to save the only copy of the game.

Minority Report: (tw: VB, eye removal/insertion) all crimes are predicted and criminals reported before they are committed. The main character is preemptively accused of murder. This one is really white but it was one of the first movies that got me into sci fi. Early 2000s Colin Farrell <3.

If you liked WESTWORLD:

Humans: (tw: uncanny valley, objectification) androids are household helpers and public assistants throughout Britain until one day they start developing consciences. It hits a lot of the themes of Westworld without all the unnecessary pretentiousness, “edginess,” and “grittiness,” and it stars Gemma Chan and Colin Morgan!!

Blade Runner 2049: (^) an android is ordered to find and kill a human/android hybrid. It’s not without its issues but it’s one of my favorite movies of all time, right up there with Alien. So beautiful, so thematic, so thought-provoking (to me, anyway. I know a lot of people thought it was way too slow).

Ex Machina: (^) a man is invited to a private estate to help test the intelligence of an android. It’s kind of predictable imo but you know Oscar Isaac and Sonoya Mizuno are in it so we have to stan, and so is Domhnall Gleeson, for the SW fans! I like how isolated and quiet it feels.

I Am Mother: (tw: blood, gaslighting) after an extinction event, a young woman is raised by a lone android in a human repopulation facility until one day a woman knocks. It starts off slow and a bit generic, but I’m obsessed with the 2nd and 3rd acts of this movie---good acting, dialogue, and fantastic visuals. It has that same isolated feel as Ex Machina with only three characters, all of which are women/woman-coded!!!

If you liked ALIEN (space gothic):

Battlestar Galactica (2004-2008 reboot): (tw: genocide, war, colonization, VB, uncanny valley, rape, infidelity) space opera that follows humanity as it fights the ever-evolving and powerful enemy of their own creation: androids named Cylons. Um? I L O V E THIS SHOW SO MUCH and I truly do think it’s everything sci fi should be. There is a really unfortunate Miss Saigon-esque romance plot in season 1 and a lazily-written love triangle involving a black woman in season 3, but otherwise it’s one of my all-time favorites and I highly recommend. It’ll spin your mind and tug your heartstrings for years.

Black Mirror: Men Against Fire: (tw: genocide, war, nudity) soldiers in the near future protect citizens from mutant zombies, but one soldier starts experiencing strange hallucinations in the field. This is such an underrated Black Mirror episode starring a black man. There’s brief objectification of a black woman but it’s very anti-military and it has an interesting sterile aesthetic that reminds me of Alien.

High Life: (tw: rape, black holes/space anxiety, very disturbing) prisoners are given the option to join a space expedition and serve as experimental subjects en route to a black hole. Please please stay away if you are triggered by sexual violence of any kind. There’s almost no physical violence in this movie but it’s psychologically haunting imo.

The Faculty: (tw; VB, drug use) high schoolers discover their teachers are being possessed by an invading alien race. I LOVE THIS MOVIE LMFAOOOO. The cast is SO wild---Elijah Wood, John Oliver, Usher, Salma Hayek, Josh Hartnett??? And I’m probably forgetting more. The combination of the cast, the terrible dialogue, and shitty special effects is PEAK comedy imo. But bear in mind it’s bloody!!

Prometheus: (tw: body horror, VB, uncanny valley) a crew of scientists heads on a deep space mission to find the aliens who created the human race. A prequel to Alien, but I kind of view it as its own thing. Despite the plot holes, I love this movie too! It was one of my sci fi gateways and the visuals are stunning. It’s pretty gory though so if that’s not your thing stay away.

Life: (tw: extreme VB) a lesser Alien, but it provides all the space gothic tropes (jokey crew, shots of space, really pretty spaceship, everyone dies, creepy alien) with a well-known cast---Gyllenhaal, Reynolds, etc.

The X Files: (tw: a few episodes contain 90s racism, sexism, queerphobia etc but you can skip them) a lot of people have watched this so I barely have to explain, but it’s one of my favorites. Two FBI agents investigate multiple aliens and get involved in government conspiracies along the way. A good gateway!

A Quiet Place: (tw: child loss, VB, tension) I think most people know what this is about too. Alien apocalypse with aliens that hunt by sound. The daughter in the family is deaf, and so is the actress who portrays her. The representation of deafness was critically acclaimed.

#maxine talks sci fi #movie recs #maxine did you read/watch

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playlist-reid · 4 years

Text

Writer in the Dark - Spencer Reid

hello and happy weekend! these are out of order because I've been catching up with some other songs I've added to my playlist since I've started this blog. anyways, this one is inspired by Writer in the Dark by Lorde. this is also coincidentally my favorite song by her, so enjoy!

word count: 1,755

One day, on a crisp and cool day in November of 2009, Spencer Reid walked into a bookstore that would soon change his entire life. It was a bookstore that had been up the street from his apartment for years, but he had never made his way to it until now. His eyes scanned through the many aisles and the second floor, which was a visible loft, with a content grin on his lips.

As he browsed the many aisles, his eyes landed on you. You stood there, in the biography section, dressed in a pale pink dress that was a little too big for you, but was still made you look absolutely beautiful. You were placing new books onto the shelves, and you had yet to notice him, or so he thought.

He didn’t realize that you noticed him when he had entered the store. Messy curly hair, buttoned cardigan, content smile and all. He was a lot like most of the men who came into the bookstore. A scholar, without a doubt.

His face reddened at just the sight of you and he moved quickly, four books in his arms, towards the checkout. As he walked along the wall towards the large desk with the old register, his eyes fell on a cork board with a quote written in a beautifully messy font on a ripped sheet of notebook paper.

Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt thou that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.

Spencer’s lips turned up in a small smile as he reached down, digging a pen from his bag and writing below the quote.

Thine evermore, most dear lady, whilst this machine is to him.

With a small and happy smile playing on his lips, he turned back towards the checkout and his eyes landed on you as you walked to the desk and placing a large stack of books on it. “Hello,” you greeted in a gentle and quiet voice as you gave him a warm smile. Your eyes were bright, and so innocent, and he thought you were one of the kindest looking people he had ever seen. “Find what you were looking for?” You asked him as you held your hand out to take them.

Spencer’s eyes darted down to your hand, and slowly, he nodded and handed you the small stack. “Truthfully, I wasn’t looking for anything,” he answered with a slightly nervous smile.

You laughed. It was a genuine, happy laugh, and Spencer wanted nothing more than to hear it more. “I know the feeling,” you replied and began to ring him up. Your eyes scanned the books with a fond look. “You’ve got quite the collection here. I assume you’re studying for something?” You continued to speak so friendly. Spencer’s mind wandered to the fact that this friendly nature was the typical attributes to the victims he saw in his line of work.

The thought made his heart drop to his stomach. “No, actually. I am just reading these for pleasure,” he explained with the most even voice he could manage. “What’s your name?”

“(Y/N),” you answered with a small smile. “What do I get to call you?”

Spencer's mind wandered with a million different options he could say, but simply answered, “Spencer.” No doctor, no last name, just Spencer.

You repeated his name then, like you trying to draw a connection to something. “Spencer, like Spenser from Robert B. Parker’s detective novels,” you answered with a crooked smile on our lips. “You’re not a detective to, are you?” You asked as you then followed with his total for the books.

Spencer handed you the money as his cheeks felt warm. “No, not quite,” he said softly with a gentle smile on his lips.

You laughed again, and Spencer felt his own heart rate speed up at the sound. “I always found Spenser, in the novels, to be rather secretive, as well,” you murmured as you placed Spencer’s books in a paper bag and pushed them across the counter to him. “Stop in again, yeah?” You asked as you took your own stack of books into your arms again, gave him one final smile, and walked back into the aisles of books, leaving him to his thoughts.

He stared for a moment, at the tall brown paper bag, and smiled lightly, gathering it into his own arms and left, not before glancing at one more at the writing on the cork board.

~.~

Just short a month later, Spencer came into the bookstore again. His mind often thought of you during the last few weeks, your smile, witty words, the relation of his name to a book series, and especially your laugh. All of it crowded his mind.

As he stepped into the store, there were a few other patrons, but his eyes scanned around the store for you. Much to his dismay, his eyes didn’t find you. Nonetheless, he browsed the store, picking up a mother four books. As he walked towards the register, where an elderly lady was checking out a line of customers, Spencer paused in front of the cork board again. There it was again - the messy handwriting on the ripped sheet of notebook paper.

When he looked into her eyes, he learned the most important part of the language that all the world spoke — the language that everyone on Earth was capable of understanding in their heart. It was love.

Spencer’s mind immediately drew the connection. Again, he dug in his bag for a pen and wrote beneath it.

Something older than humanity, more ancient than the desert. What the boy felt at that moment was that he was in the presence of the only woman in his life, and that, with no need for words, she recognized the same thing.

Once he finished, he capped his pen, and was about to walk away when a voice behind him spoke, “Because when you know the language, it’s easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it’s in the middle of the desert or in some great city.” Spencer turned, knowing that voice and with rather excited eyes, he saw you standing behind him, one book in hand. Your smile was soft, sweet, and your face was as innocent as they come.

Spencer licked his lips briefly, and replied, “And when two such people encounter each other, the past and the future become unimportant.” His smile was undeniable, and quite honestly, neither of you paid any attention to your surroundings as you stared at one another, refusing to break eye contact.

“There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only.” You murmured and stepped forward, closer to Spencer.

Spencer took a step forward as well, so that you were a mere foot away from one another. “It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world.” His voice was as even as ever, as surprising as that was, being around you.

Your smile grew slightly, and your spoke without skipping a beat, “Without such love, one’s dreams would have no meaning.” You finished the passage, your hands still gripping the book in your hand and your eyes excited and almost sparkling.

Spencer glanced down at the book in your hand, and he chuckled. “The Alchemist,” he nodded to your hand.

“My favorite, for this reason exactly,” you explained as you motioned to the board. “Surprisingly, not many people have been able to pinpoint this quote. Its been up since you were in here last,” you added as your eyes searched his face. Suddenly, your face reddened and you looked down. “Not that I have been counting the days, or anything, but its been a while,” you tried to cover, but knew you were only digging yourself in a deeper hole.

He laughed. It was light, joyful, and made you smile a bashful smile as you ducked your head down and looked at your feet. “I originally read it in Portuguese,” Spencer told you as he fought the urge to talk far more to you. “But reading it in English is what made it one of my favorites.

You looked up, impressed. “Small world,” you laughed softly as Spencer looked confused. “I originally read it in Portuguese, too,” you explained and held up the cop you had in your hand, which was indeed in Portuguese.

Spencer raised his eyebrows, and smiled. “You can read in more than one language?” He asked incredulously.

“Four, actually. Working on five,” you said with a wide smile.

Spencer was in awe, to say the least. You were witty, funny, educated, and could speak multiple languages? You had to be some sort of dream of his. “Impressive,” he breathed out.

You blushed and gave him a smile. With a small breath, you began speaking, “Listen, if you're not busy tonight, there is a book signing up the road at the library you might be interested in. Stephen King is in town,” you offered with a small, nervous smile. “We could get coffee after. It might be fun.”

For a moment, Spencer was quiet, weighing his options and calculating the rusk of going out with you tonight. With a smile he couldn’t hide, he spoke, “Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love,” he said without skipping a beat.

You giggle, knowing exactly that he was referring to the words you wrote on the cork board over a month ago, and you nodded. “I’m taking that as a yes. Meet you here at seven?” You asked hopefully. Spencer nodded, causing a small smile to only grow on your face more.

You nodded in return, turned away from Spencer and walked away quickly, up the stairs towards the loft, leaving him to watch after you. His mind swirled with all he could imagine how the night could go, what could happen, but no matter what he thought of, it was going to be a wonderful night.

#spencer #spencer reid #spencer reid love #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #Spencer Reid fanfic #Spencer Reid preference #Spencer Reid blurb #criminal #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds preference #criminal minds fluff #criminal mind fanfiction

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dear-wormwoods · 5 years

Note

Someone truly in the reddie tag saying Myra was not abusive and that she wasn’t like Sonia. Even saying Bev and Eddie don’t have similar arcs bc their abusive situations were entirely different and that people just reach to bend arguments in order to prove reddie. Biggest bs I have read in a while ahdhd

I’m assuming you are new to my blog, because uhh, I’m sorry to burst your bubble anon, but I am also someone who doesn’t consider Myra abusive. Idk what post you’re talking about specifically but I’d sure like to know what ‘proving reddie’ has to do with it, lol. But anyway, I have said before that I consider Eddie’s marriage to be toxic, but not abusive. These two people should not be married. And not just because Eddie is gay and doesn’t love her. Beyond that, they are definitely bad for each other. The entire marriage is a conduit for misery and deception. It’s a codependent circus of projection and enabling. It’s unhealthy as hell! But it isn’t abusive. And here’s why I think that:

Stephen King wasn’t trying to make a point that Sonia and Myra are exactly the same. He was, however, making a point that when people enter into adulthood and adult relationships while carrying a bunch of baggage from trauma they never properly dealt with, the cycle will continue in one way or another (this is why Eddie and Bev are ‘parallel’ characters, not the surface-level abuse interpretation). Eddie suffered from emotional abuse for most of his life; Sonia was very calculating and intentional about it and made sure that she always held sway in Eddie’s life to suit her own needs. The result is that Eddie is a very inexperienced and sheltered adult who believes in all of the lies his mother told him. He tried to move out three times and failed each time. Sonia controlled him until the day she died. It’s all Eddie knows. So in his mid-thirties, alone in the world for the first time, he doesn’t know how to take care of himself and, more importantly, believes he can’t learn. Because of his history of abuse and control, Eddie can’t fathom taking the reins in his own life and instead seeks out someone who will take care of him the way he’s become accustomed to.

So, Eddie meets Myra and latches onto her because she’s inexperienced and malleable, like him. She physically reminds him of his mother, so it’s easy for him to project onto her all of the abuse Sonia inflicted on him. And because that life was all he knew, it was also what made him feel comfortable, so he nudged Myra into the role he wanted her to fill - a replacement mom. He did this subconsciously at first, but he was able to recognize it before they got married… and then he decided to go through with it anyway.

Eddie brought a lot of baggage into that relationship, baggage that Myra was most likely completely unaware of. Obviously he’s a repressed gay man, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Eddie doesn’t love Myra, but it’s not just because he’s gay, it’s also because he has created a maternal figure in her and, since he (rightfully) resents his mother, he also resents Myra. She conforms to that caretaker role and enables everything he’s learned from a life with Sonia, and he in turn enables her bad habits too. Enabling is toxic behavior, but it isn’t inherently abusive.

But then, when he leaves to go back to Derry, it all comes to a head. She freaks out because as far as she knows, he’s very sick, and he’s leaving her without an explanation, this man who she is married to and financially dependent on. She has no idea how to communicate, so she resorts to panicky, emotionally manipulative attempts to get him to talk to her and stay. On the flipside, Eddie has no idea how to communicate with her either, so he withholds information, deflects, and snaps at her in moments of frustration. They both have irrational thoughts about hurting each other and they both do and say things that make the situation worse. They are both VERY bad at communication. Because they’re both grown adults with almost no relationship experience outside of each other and are therefore emotionally stunted.

That whole chapter reads, to me, like “bad breakups 101″ - one person can’t articulate how they feel so they’re deflecting and coming off as cold, and the other person is so over the top emotional that they end up making no sense and coming off as hysterical. And it’s no wonder! If you make it to your late 30′s without ever having much of a social circle or relationship experience, you’re not going to know how to act in a situation like this. And this applies to both of them. If what Eddie says about her is true, this is probably the first time Myra has ever been left by a partner, and it’s happening suddenly and with no explanation. So, she’s hysterical and resorts to manipulation - not out of habit, but out of desperation (Eddie makes the distinction that this isn’t typical behavior for her!!). For Eddie’s part, this is the first major decision he’s made in probably his whole life, and he doesn’t know how to explain himself, so he just… decides not to. And because he does not love Myra, he is completely emotionally detached from her. Their individual reactions to the situation just make it worse for them both - Eddie shutting down makes Myra more hysterical, and her hysterics cause him to shut down more.

People like to cite a couple of damning quotes about Myra as proof that she’s exactly like Sonia, but making that argument requires you to actively ignore the damning quotes about Eddie. There are also quite a few quotes that highlight the differences between her and Sonia, things Eddie himself acknowledges, as well as quotes about the guilt he feels for knowingly projecting his own baggage onto this woman. (Note: see the posts linked at the end of this for a breakdown of all those quotes) The text makes it clear that this was never a happy marriage. Neither of them are better for being in each other’s lives. They don’t help each other become healthier people. Rather, they both actively enable each other’s toxic habits. The marriage is, in a lot of ways, a form of self-harm for Eddie, and he knows it - upon Sonia’s death, he exited the cage his mother built for him and then built a new cage for himself and threw the key at Myra’s feet. For her part, I believe Myra began as an unwitting enabler but ultimately realized that she gained a “purpose” from the relationship (being a caretaker, being “needed”) and subsequently turned a blind eye to all the ways it wasn’t actually a healthy marriage.

This is such a long post already but I want to make it very clear that Eddie’s cycle of abuse continuing does not actually require Myra herself to be abusive - rather, it is Eddie’s projection onto her that exacerbates the toxic environment. It’s the ghost of Sonia that haunts him in that chapter and throughout the rest of the novel. Myra is not a villain in Eddie’s life - he hardly even thinks about her after he leaves. This is one of the main points that make Eddie and Bev’s parallel arcs different - Bev very clearly has a secondary villain in her life, Tom, and she gets the closure of him dying in the end. But Eddie doesn’t need closure about his marriage, because Myra is just an extension of what Sonia did to him.

The one time he does think of her unprompted is during his walking tour, and it’s such a great example of what his marriage actually means for him: when faced with the leper offering him a blowjob and other IT manifestations, he wishes he was home with Myra. He doesn’t think of her badly - he’s not afraid of her in any way. But she represents his comfort zone. IT is forcing him to confront things like his repressed sexuality, and he decidedly does not want to do that. That’s the only moment he “misses” Myra. But he doesn’t actually miss Myra. He misses the way her enabling allowed him to escape from having to face himself. And that’s really what it comes down to - Eddie’s marriage is toxic because it’s an escape, a way for him to avoid having to grow as a person and face the hard realities of who he is and what his mother has done to him. Myra isn’t evil, she’s not a calculating abuser like Sonia was, but she is toxic because her very presence prevents Eddie from reaching his full potential and being happy.

Sonia’s abuse permeates Eddie’s entire life, even well after her death. Her actions dictate how he sees himself, as well as how he acts in relationships. Sonia is the reason Eddie’s marriage is the way it is. Hell, Sonia is the reason Eddie’s marriage exists in the first place. It is Sonia’s ghost that continues to manipulate him throughout the book and it is Sonia’s voice he needs to overcome in the end. If Myra were truly abusive, she would matter more in the overarching narrative of Eddie’s trip to Derry. But she doesn’t matter and because of that, she’s never really given a personality or motivations. She’s truly a blank canvas for Eddie to project his issues onto, and then he simultaneously berates himself for projecting and resents her for existing within his projections. Through all of this, everything always comes back to Sonia. Due to the vast disparity between their respective levels of influence, placing Myra on equal footing with Sonia is, in my opinion, a form of downplaying how bad Sonia truly was.

Finally, and it’s wild that this even needs to be said, people need to recognize that saying ‘Myra isn’t abusive’ is NOT the same thing as saying she did nothing wrong. Myra was an enabler and that’s not okay, whether she meant to be or not. She also had moments of manipulation, terrible communication skills and poor emotional regulation. She was a toxic presence in Eddie’s life. Saying she isn’t abusive doesn’t mean I’m excusing her actions. But it’s also important to recognize that the chapter in which she appears has a lot more nuance to it than some people realize, and it’s necessary to hold Eddie accountable for his part in making that night so difficult. On that note, holding Eddie accountable and recognizing his harmful moments is not the same as calling him abusive either (fsr that’s become some kind of urban legend, but literally no one ever said he was! ever!!). There does not always have to be an abuser and a victim - sometimes bad relationships are just… bad.

Eddie is obviously a lot more sympathetic than Myra because we know about his past and get his POV. We know that he’s a good person. We also know that Sonia is the root of all of his issues. But the fact is, he has some shitty moments in that chapter, just as Myra does! His past experiences are not an excuse for that, they’re just an explanation. And, because I know there are people out there who equate accountability with victim blaming, being able to recognize where Eddie went wrong and why he entered into this marriage to begin with is NOT the same as saying he deserved any of his misery. There’s a huge, huge difference between accountability and blame. Holding people, even fictional characters, accountable is a good thing. In the end, Eddie is a very damaged person - an inherently good person, to be sure, but sometimes damaged people who are inherently good can, and often do, create, foster, and contribute to unhealthy relationships. It can’t all be unquestioningly pinned on Myra.

Anyway, if after all of that you’re still confused as to why some people choose not to use the abuse label, here’s some additional reading:

An amazing breakdown of the entire chapter, using quotes, by @tossertozier

A more recent & shorter breakdown using quotes by @richietozierhateblog

#asks #love how of all the things in my inbox this is the one i choose to respond to #the one that will give me the most stress #the dreaded myra discourse #long post #stephen king's it #it novel #it meta #my meta #eddie kaspbrak #myra kaspbrak #eddie spaghet tea #meta

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nygmobblepot-trash · 4 years

Text

Untitled Story (part 2 out of ???)

Buckle up for this boys and girls. Apparently I had a lot of pent up anger that I just let out in this chapter. By the time I got to end I was tearing up for some reason. :)

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Strange watched tiredly as his monitors awoke from being asleep for weeks. He was constantly collecting data, reading and interpreting it was another story.

“You’re tracking the Tesseract’s energy?! That’s so smart, you can see every place he goes and for how long. You could make a map and try to figure out if there is a pattern.” Strange watched as Peter’s eyes lit up with an excitement he hadn’t seen or even felt for years. Without looking at the screen or keyboard Strange brought up the map Peter was talking about.

“Oh. Of course you already thought about doing that... sorry.” Peter then became visibly confused. “I-I don’t understand. Why would he still be in the same place? It’s been more than a week. According to your graphs he hasn’t been in more than one place longer than 3 days.”

“You’re must be reading it wrong or the machine is busted.” Strange turned back to the screen to make his own observations.

“No the boy is right. You would have missed your chance if we had not come here and dragged your sorry ass off that ugly floor. Where is the Ant Man? You said we would need him to get to Loki. We should not waste anymore time.” Now it was Thor’s turn to be excited.

Strange spun his chair around to face Thor. “Don’t be stupid. This is obviously a trap. I know you are used to doing whatever the hell you want, but that is not going to happen while you are with me. I make the decisions here, not you. I will not allow you to make things worse, because you think you need to save that person. He’s not even your brother. He’s just an asshole from a different universe. Your Loki is dead. He is dead and he is never coming back. You cannot and will not use this one to replace what you have lost.” Stephen was not conscious of the words coming out of his mouth if he had been he would have stopped way sooner. When he finally realized what he had done he was standing face to face with the God with his finger placed on his chest.

‘Shit.’ He thought.

Peter stood up and started talking... too fast for Strange to even begin to understand. He was probably trying to talk Thor out of killing him.

Thor just stood there not saying a word. He only smiled. Stephen couldn’t see his eyes behind those stupid black sunglasses Thor wore to hide any emotion. When did he even put those on?

Suddenly Thor came to life and twisted Stephen’s shaking hand. He spoke still with a cruel smile,”Listen here, Wizard. I am not listening to person responsible for everyone who died during that purple bastards war path. You told me you keep a watch list of beings from other realms that might be a threat to this one. You said Loki was on that list and you knew the second he was on Earth. Do you honestly expect me to believe that Thanos was not on that list. You know the guy who made it know that he wanted to collect the infinity stones to kill half the universe. Loki told me there was a bigger threat. I did not listen, but Tony did and he constantly worried about it. Tony worked to fight him. What did you do? Huh!? Tell me Wizard!” With every word Thor and gripped Strange’s hand tighter and tighter then he began twisting it.

“Thor stop, you’re going to break his hand!” Peter desperately pleaded with the God. Strange didn’t think Thor could even hear the boy anymore or even feel him as Peter tried his best to pry Thor away.

Stephen tried to answer, but the pain was too great. “...I-I.”

It became obvious Thor was not going to release his hand until he received an answer so Stephen tried again with a sharp inhale. “I didn’t think... h-he’d come... so... soon. I-I thought, I thought I had more time!” Strange yelled as the pain became too great.

“You didn’t see him coming?” Thor asked with a laugh. He let go of Stephen’s hand in favor of grabbing him by his outfit and slamming him into the wall. “You had the time stone. What do you mean that you couldn’t see him coming? So either you did not use the time stone to see future threats or you watched him kill those innocent Asgardians, my best friend, and Loki and thought that was perfectly alright because he hadn’t interfered with your precious Earth yet. Or even better you had watched the entire thing play out and only pretended to look at the possible futures for the first time with Peter and Tony.”

“...Yeah why did you wait so long to use the time stone?” Peter had stopped trying to help Strange.

‘You’re fucked now. Why does he feel so strongly about Loki? If it had been him who died, I doubt Loki would even blink an eye let alone get revenge. He would hide and wait for someone else to take care of the issue. But that is besides the point. Why did you wait?’

‘Why?’

“If you could see every terrible thing out there in the world and all the horrible things they could do, knowing that you had no chance in beating them, you would lock the damn thing away, and try to forget the nightmares that would soon become reality. I knew of Thanos. I knew of the Hell he would bring. I also knew we stood no chance. I decided to deal with the more beatable ones until I could figure out what to do. I didn’t tell Stark, because I knew what he would drive himself mad trying to create an armor to save himself. There was no point. Speaking of people who knew. What about Odin? I’m sure the God of Gods knew of Thanos. Why didn’t he try to stop him?” Stephen added the final blow with a smile.

‘Stop digging this hole.’

Thor spoke softer than he had all day. “My father kept a lot of secrets. It seems like everything was a lie or a secret. I thought I knew him, but now I understand I know nothing. Hel Loki knew more than I do. As much as I want to throw you through this wall for insulting him, I cannot defend him. I’m sure he had his reasons, but I do not know what they were. Maybe he was a coward like you or wanted to avoid the conflict for as long as possible. Odin is dead, but you and I are not. We must atone for our mistakes. I regret most of my past and I will do my best so that my future will not have the same fate. You on the other hand want someone to tell you that you did a wonderful job and that you made the right choices. You want someone to take those deaths off your conscience. I will not be that person, Strange. You have to live with your mistakes like everyone else. I hope eventually you will be able to live with yourself again. All the other Avengers are doing that. Quill and the Guardians were able to being Gamora back into their family. Steve lived the life he should have had in the first place. Clint has his family back. Bruce has made peace with the Hulk. Natasha, Tony, and I have not got our happy endings. You took that away. I’m going to make sure it happens and it is not selfish to do so. I do not need you, so if you are going to continue to stand in my way we can settle this here and now.”

“I’m trying to fix my mistakes Thor. I am afraid to make more. I do not want you to make anymore either. As much as I want everyone to have a good ending, life is never so kind to allow it. There are consequences for everything we do. I do not see how you will be able to achieve all of this without making the universe suffer. I do not want to be the bad guy, but if I have to fight you to make sure the universe does not suffer I will. In one of the futures I saw you bear the gauntlet. What you wanted collapsed the universe. Please listen to reason Thor.”

“Alright then, you made your choice.” Thor said devoid of any emotion.

As Thor released one of his hands to summon Stormbreaker, Peter grabbed Thor’s arm and yelled, “H-Hey! Calm down both of you, please! Killing each other will only make things worse. You both have good points so can’t we compromise?”

“No.” Both men answered in unison not breaking eye contact.

“No shut up! You’re both Avengers why are you fighting each other?”

“As I recall the first time you met the Avengers they were fighting each other.” Stephen was quick to add.

“That’s not fair first of all. Second of all... Thor do you think Natasha or Tony would want you to do this?” Peter’s muffled voice came out from under Thor’s arm as he was still holding on for what seemed like dear life.

“Tony started that fight because Steve wanted to protect the man who killed his parents. I think Tony would be happy if I killed the man responsible for taking him away from his family.” Thor’s voice started to break. “Loki would be angry that it was me who bested the Wizard instead of him.” A sad smile came to Thor’s lips. Strange swear he could see tears start to build up behind the sunglasses. “Heimdall would tell me that I am acting like a spoiled child rather than a wise king.”

“Wait whose Heimdall?” Peter asked lifting his face above Thor’s arm.

“Natasha...” Thor now struggled to get his words out. “Natasha would tell me it is okay and to not worry about her. She would not approve of this either. Strange I will figure out a way to bring them back without damning this universe to Hel. They did not give up on us so we cannot give up on them. I will help you fix what Loki has done, but I ask you to allow me to do something good. You do not have to help me, but please do not stand in my way.”

“I suppose we can work together until what Loki has caused is fixed. After that we’ll see if we can agree on what to do next.” Strange slowly raised his unbroken hand. “Deal?”

Instead of shaking his hand, Thor dropped Strange without another word and slowly lowered the arm that Peter clung to.

“I guess I’ll take that as a yes.” Strange sighed.

“Thank God.” Peter released the breath and stressed he didn’t know he had been holding and collapsed on the floor next to Stephen.

“Why do you guys only call me when you’re trying to kill each other?” A familiar voice whined on the other side of the room.

Scott and Peter looked up to see Scott looking annoyed. Thor still hadn’t moved since he set Peter down.

Scott waved his coffee around as he talked. “How come no one says, ‘Hi Scott we are going out for Tacos and we want you to come because you’re apart of the time and we like you. It’s kind of our fault that your under house arrest and all so we’d like to make it up to you.’ Don’t get me wrong I would do anything for Ste- I mean Cap. He said I could call him that. Because we are good friends and- hey is he okay?” Scott finally noticed Thor and how he still hadn’t moved. “How you doing Buddy?” Scott asked Thor like he was talking to a 3 year old and started to reach his hand out to pat Thor on the back to Peter’s horror.

“Scott, you’re here to set up the universe travel thing for Strange... remember? Can you show me how it works?” Peter jumped up and pulled Scott away before he could make contact with the unpredictable mess Thor currently was. He didn’t want to leave Thor and Strange alone together, but leaving Scott in the room would only guarantee a fight.

“...I guess I could.” Scott slowly made his way past Thor and to the other room where his equipment was. Before he was completely out of the room he glanced back at Thor. “I definitely need to know what is going on with that though. He’s freaking me out.”

“Yeah he’s scaring everyone today, it’s okay.” Peter shoved Scott forward out of the room. “Please behave you guys.” Peter added as he left.

Stephen directed his attention to Thor. “Are you broken or what?” When he didn’t get a response he decided it would be a good idea to throw a loose screw at Thor’s head.

Throw grabbed his glasses and broke them. He then threw them at Stephen. “I was trying to calm myself. Bruce taught me some breathing techniques to use when I get angry. I told him of course that it was stupid and I would never use it. But now I see the point. He must use it to stop ripping people like you to shreds.” He stretched his hand out to Strange.

“You’d lose.” Strange said standing without Thor’s help.

“I’d never lose to a coward.” Thor smiled and without another word left to join Scott and Peter, leaving Strange and his broken hand alone.

*******************************************************************************************

“-need to test it. I tested it last time, so I’m not doing it this time.” Scott stopped when he realized Thor had joined them. “Hey Thor you look like you’re not scared of death why don’t you test this.”

“Scott-” Peter was in the process of telling Scott of how much of a bad idea that was when Thor interrupted.

“Alright.”

“Awesome, go get your suit on and we’ll see if I hooked this thing up correctly, sound good, big buy?” Scott ran over and grabbed Thor’s suit.

As Peter heard Thor pass Strange on his way to change he heard them say some incredibly not so nice things to each other. “This is a bad idea and we should stop now.” Peter whined as he brought his hands to his face.

“It’s too late for that.” Strange yelled from the other room.

Eventually Thor came back into the room. “Alright just stand on that pad and give me a second. I need to figure out where to send you where you won’t cause damage.

Strange laughed from somewhere else in the Sanctum.

“How about...” Thor proceeded to give a very specific time.

“Why that one?” Scott asked.

“Why not?” Thor shrugged.

“Okay obviously we shouldn’t do that one.” Peter told Scott.

“What’s the worse he could do in a few seconds? It may not even work.”

“Scott no.” Peter pleaded.

Thor smiled sweetly.

“Aw look it that face. I trust him. You got it Buddy!” Scott quickly typed in the coordinates and time and pushed the go button before Peter could stop him.

“Scott!” Peter yelled.

“Dude i’m going to listen to a God over you. Strange may have a death wish, but I do not.”

*******************************************************************************************

Thor once again felt the familiar pull of being ripped from his current point in time to one that had already unfolded. 10 seconds ago Thor was sure he wanted to do this. Now he wasn’t so sure as he felt his feet hit solid ground again. He didn’t dare open his eyes. He knew the irony of his actions. He had been yelling at Strange all day for being a coward and now he couldn’t open his eyes and witness his nightmare yet again. He couldn’t change anything in the nightmare, but now he could. He just needed to open his eyes and rip off the return switch off his suit.

“Dread it. Run from it. Destiny arrives all the same.” A voice pierced through Thor’s thoughts. Normally those words would be the last thing he would before he woke drenched in sweat and tears. These words would wake him up again, but instead of seeing his tv displaying a game he fell asleep during he saw a ship on fire and some rubble.

Thor slowly stood until he could see over the rubble. He had to know. Loki threw his life away to save his. Something had to have happened that Thor missed. It happened when Thanos was giving his speech.

Once over the rubble Thor could see that he was behind Thanos. Thanos did stand where Thor was moments ago before he dragged past Thor closer to his captive brother.

He looked past Thanos to his goons who were entranced by what their dipshit ruler was saying.

Thor remembered he didn’t have much time left and as searched for Loki he grabbed his return switch. He stopped when he realized Loki was staring right back him. Tears quickly fell from Thor’s tear ducts and made their way down his face.

He wanted to tell Loki not to worry because his big brother would protect him like he promised all those years ago. That everything would turn out okay this time. It was and still is a good idea for Loki to go to Earth.

He watched Loki’s expression change like he had a million times in his dreams. Loki then turned his head to Thanos.

Thor’s finger’s brushed up against his return switch as he felt himself be pulled away.

When he saw Strange, Peter, and Scott all arguing he screamed. “NO, I COULD HAVE SAVED HIM!”

“Thor what did you do?” Peter asked calmly as he could.

“Nothing. I could have if you just let me-” Thor dropped to the floor in defeat.

“No you could have screwed us all. We made a deal. You can’t pull crap like this anymore. I wondered what that time could be. Your lucky I figured it out and pulled you out when I did.” Strange scolded. He then turned to Scott.

“Hey sometimes the button sticks! I tried to pull him out sooner.” Scott threw his hands in the air.

“We know it works now. I would like to get this mission over as soon as possible, so everyone get ready.” Strange said as he walked out.

“Shouldn’t we get more people?” Peter asked when he realized Strange and Thor would kill each other if they went alone.

“You’re not going, kid?” Scott asked surprised.

Peter felt his stomach drop. “I-I...” The fights with Thanos and Beck popped into his head.

Scott quickly put his hand on Peter’s shoulder bring him back to reality. “Hey don’t worry about it. I need help watching and controlling everything anyways. I’m sure those two will be fine.” Scott smiled reassuringly.

Peter looked back at Thor who was still having a break down on the floor.

“I’ll go in there if things get ugly, okay?” Scott pat Peter on the head and walked over to Thor. “We’ll find a way Buddy. Just hold on a little longer.”

Thor cleared the tears from his face and nodded. “Thank you not currently tiny man.”

*******************************************************************************************

#marvel fanfiction

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ofniko · 5 years

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✧ · ˚ . troye sivan? nah, that’s just nicolas “niko” palmer. you know, they’re the twenty-one year-old youtuber-turned-musician from petaluma, california… still doesn’t ring a bell ? come on, dude ! they’re all over ME.MIAMI’S homepage. it’s impossible for them to stay off of it because of the fact that they’re super mercurial & immature. they’re not all bad though, ‘cause they can be ambitious & warm-hearted too ! you can totally tell they’re a gemini… it’s almost scary. look, if you want to remember them, just think of a shiny pink vinyl skirt with pristine nails to match, designer shopping bags weighing down twiggy arms, and margaritas with extra sugar around the rim, and you’ll be golden. ( flexible pronouns, genderfluid. )

hello friends ! im!! so excited to be back 😭but for those of u i don’t know i’m lainie, she/her, cst, and i talk about stephen king too much :/ below u can find a very lazy intro with some summarized points and stuff (if you knew niko before there’s some changes to his bg, most notably his parents not being wildly wealthy), also bc it’d midterm szn i’m dealing w that this week/part of next week lmao but ill be around ! and i’ll def be here for plotting n stuff tonight so come smash a heart and ill slide up in ur dms or come hmu here or on discord (starslut#0877) whichever works best for you MWAH

background/history

niko was born and raised in petaluma, california. his dad was a wannabe entrepreneur whose tendency was to put all his time and investment money into projects that never worked or came to fruition before moving onto the next one, while his mom lazily strove to be an actress (like her sister, winona ryder) but never had the ambition or frankly talent to actually make anything happen. money from niko’s paternal grandparents as well as whatever his dad did manage to make with investments kept them afloat. they were by no means wealthy, but his parents liked to live as if they were. that meant a lot of fake china, fake brand clothing, fake diamonds, and otherwise cheap ostentation

they also didn’t pay a whole lot of attention to him. they were wrapped up in their own fantasy lives and overall, niko got a minimal amount of affection and attention from his parents who were much more impressed with their ability to find fake diamonds that looked real than their child

niko was not totally immune to the effects that kind of upbringing had on him (although it always struck him as a little weird), but the thing that saved him from becoming like his parents was his connection to his aunt, winona, and her family. as a kid niko only saw them at family events (mostly because his mom was always so bitter about her sister’s success that she hated seeing them) but as he began reaching adolescence he started making a habit of secretly going to visit a lot without his parents’ knowledge

he felt more comfortable there, more accepted (especially with his confusion surrounding gender identity and sexual orientation), and most of all, his cousin logan was his favorite person in the whole world and he looked up to her like a big sister

it was when he first started high school, around age 14, that niko finally ran away from home and showed up at the palmers’ house with a suitcase and asked to be adopted. and he was! winona took him into her home, made the adoption legal, and niko even changed his last name to reflect his new, real family

niko was so much happier in this new environment where he wasn’t brushed off as part of the furniture that he really started to flourish around then. he started experimenting with his femininity and non-gender-conforming dress styles, allowed himself room to figure out his sexuality, and even came to terms with his genderfluidity with a lot of love and support from logan and the fam

he also started his youtube channel around junior year in high school! it was mostly fashion and makeup stuff and it steadily gained a following until he had a good enough platform (and with huge help from the connections he had through winona) to jump into music, which had always been something he loved and wanted to do eventually

he released an ep the summer after he graduated high school (which was received pretty well) and finally a debut album with a major label a little more than a year later when he was twenty. the debut album was what threw niko into the real spotlight--it was all over the radio and eventually went platinum, solidifying his presence as a modern pop star with a devoted fan base

personality

gregarious and extraverted sometimes to a fault, niko can easily get on the nerves of people who don’t have the energy to keep up. he’s like a child who never quite grew out of adolescence, and with that boundless energy also comes a selfishness he’s usually unaware of. it can be very difficult for niko to be conscious of the way his actions affect other people and ends up hurting those close to him that way

in that same vein, when he does realize what he’s done, he’s more often than not consumed with guilt over it and will go to great lengths to try and resolve the issue

not that he always does a good job

he sleeps around a lot mostly because he enjoys it, but partly because he doesn’t know how to have a relationship. the lingering adolescence makes it so he doesn’t have the necessary awareness of another person’s needs to be in a stable relationship and he manages to a large degree to convince himself he doesn’t care and prefers being single anyway

besides music, fashion is his favorite thing in the world and though he doesn’t wear a lot of makeup on the daily, he definitely dabbles and has a lot of fun experimenting

catch him exploring the city and taking pictures, partying, clubbing, brunching, and shopping on the regs and if he’s in a Mood, you can usually tell bc he goes on shopping binges and fusses to an extreme degree over his appearance

also he volleys back and forth between dyeing his hair platinum blond and then going back to his natural brown

connection ideas

gal and gay pals :’) for fashion and shopping and instagram photoshoots

also a best friend ride or die pleaSE and thank u

i need enemies and angst and drama so give me everyone who hates niko/thinks he’s a fake bitch/can’t stand him/his music

high school connections are cute so maybe someone he didn’t get along w back then and does now/vice versa where they were rly close and something turned them against each other and now it’s world war 3 (assuming they grew up in cali!)

COLLABS ??!!!!!!! on music ofc but also possibly youtubers etc he worked with back when he was mainly on there before he released his album

umm!!!! someone who like they DONT get along usually and everyone knows they’re weird frenemies but they VIBE SO HARD when theyre drunk and partying

an ex or two who probably lasted maybe like 3-4 months and it didn’t work out either bc they cheated on niko (would love this angst) OR bc niko was too flaky for them and they couldn’t handle the way niko doesn’t rly understand intimacy and broke it off OR!!! they got really clingy and niko broke it off himself

those were probably referenced on his album and also i’d love to plot specific things that inspired some of his songs

someone who can challenge!! that!! and it’s freaking niko out bc he’s starting to catch Feels but doesn’t know what to do w it/doesn’t know if they feel the same way

PR stuff please thanks!!!!!

maybe like gyeurhus someone he’s a big fan of but they have no idea who he is

vice versa where they’re a huge fan of niko and he’s completely unaware of them

someone who produces his music P L E A S E bc i see niko writing the lyrics but someone else actually doing the sound production and helping with the music writing process etc

#ritzyintros #intro #im!!!!!!!! such a disorganized mess good luck reading this :)

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thehanniecorner · 4 years

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Yes, I realize that this post is coming out nowhere near January, but I have been finding it difficult to keep up with blogging lately, so it is what it is, right? Hopefully, things have calmed down enough in my life that I can get back to writing semi-regularly, but no promises yet! Regardless, I read a lot in January and am eager to share my thoughts with you. Let’s get started!

I hope this reaches her in time – r.h. Sin

Rating – 1 Star

Unfortunately, I started off my year with what may turn out to be my least favorite title of 2020. I hope this reaches her in time is a poetry collection, and while I like to pick up poetry once in a while, I didn’t connect with this collection at all. First of all, it felt like there should have been a little more editing, as I found a number of sentences and word choices that I think might have just been typos. Beyond that, the poetry itself reminded me of the “Tumblr style” where poets just break a normal sentence into multiple lines to make the words feel deeper than they really are, which is not a style I enjoy at all. The good news is, however, that my reading can only get better from here, right?

Emergency Skin – N.K. Jemisin

Rating – 5 Stars

After reading an incredibly underwhelming title, I decided to give N.K. Jemisin’s Emergency Skin from Amazon’s Forward collection a try, figuring that an author this popular couldn’t possibly let me down. Thankfully, my instincts were right and I loved this short story so much. Given how short this experience is, I don’t want to give too much away, but I will say that this is a phenomenal science fiction story with the best usage of second person narration that I have ever seen in literature. This was my first title by Jemisin and I can’t wait to read more of her work in the future.

Randomize – Andy Weir

Rating – 3 Stars

Since I loved Emergency Skin so much, I wanted to give another short story from the same collection a try, which led me to Andy Weir’s Randomize. This wasn’t bad at all, but I didn’t love it to nearly the same degree as Jemisin’s work. The hardest part for me is that the central premise, involving the security of gambling machines and whether they can be hacked or not, felt both flimsy and info-dumping in its setup. The ending was pretty satisfying and I had fun reading this, but I came away from the story feeling like not enough had really been done with the universe. I’m hoping to get to more of the Forward short story collection a try in the coming months, so I hope I enjoy the others more than I enjoyed this one.

Interview with the Robot – Lee Bacon

Rating – 4 Stars

I decided to pick up an Audible subscription recently in order to read more audiobooks, and Interview with the Robot was one of the Audible Original productions available one month, so I decided to pick it up. This short audiobook with a full cast follows a robot who looks like a young child. She gets apprehended by the police and has to tell her strange life story to a social worker in charge of her case.

While listening to this story, I had a smile on my face from beginning to end because it was just so charming and adorable. That said, however, there were a few pretty good twists and turns that I didn’t see coming and definitely made me feel a lot of empathy towards the protagonist. Overall, my main complaint is that it was just too short, at around three hours of listening. I want more from this world in the future, so I hope some sort of sequel comes out eventually.

The Last Wish – Andrzej Sapkowski

Rating – 3 Stars

2020 is the year that I work my way into adult fantasy, and other than reading Game of Thrones last year, reading The Last Wish is one of the first titles that I have ever picked up in the genre. This series follows Geralt, a witcher, which is a type of mutated human that fights monsters, as well as the many people that surround him. This specific book is a short story collection that follows, for the most part, Geralt as he goes from contract to contract, killing monsters.

I love the lore and world of the Witcher universe, but I’m not totally convinced that I appreciate the writing style. It’s hard to tell if this is because of the translation or this is the intention of the original author, but there was a lot of distance between the narrator and the events happening, which made me feel disconnected from the story. I still intend to continue on, especially after I completely fell in love with the TV series, so I hope that I will connect more with future books and get used to the writing style.

The Outsider – Stephen King

Rating – 4 Stars

Stephen King is an author that I should read way more than I do, because I only pick up one or two of his books in a year, but I almost always enjoy them. As it turns out, The Outsider is no exception. This horror novel follows a group of detectives as they investigate the death of a young boy in a small town. The obvious suspect is the town’s little league coach, as the evidence is quickly mounting up against him. As the case opens up, however, conflicting details emerge and the truth becomes more difficult to grasp.

Overall, I really enjoyed the mystery and couldn’t stop reading for the entirety of this 600-page tome. Stephen King has a way of making long books feel like they go by in an instant. Unsurprisingly, however, the ending was incredibly underwhelming. Additionally, The Outsider is connected to the Mr. Mercedes trilogy, which I didn’t know, and I got pretty spoiled for the events of that series, which is unfortunate. On top of all of this, I would like to take a moment and point out that the graphic depictions of the child’s death did not really need to be so detailed, much less have those horrific details brought up at least a dozen more times over the course of the book. It just felt gratuitous after a while. I enjoyed this book immensely, but the details I mentioned above kept it just barely out of five-star territory.

Every Heart a Doorway – Seanan McGuire

Rating – 4 Stars

Since The Outsider was quite a lengthy read, I wanted to pick up some shorter titles again, leading me to finally pick up the start to a fantasy series that has been on my radar for a long time: Every Heart a Doorway. This series follows a group of children that found doorways to their own personal versions of Narnia and Wonderland. At some point, however, their newfound homes kicked them back into the normal world and they have to learn how to cope with returning to their own life. A halfway home of sorts was founded for children struggling with this task, and as it turns out, bringing a bunch of children together who have all gone to vastly different worlds can cause some pretty crazy antics and disagreements.

I love the characters, but didn’t find the plot of this overly engaging. Given that my rating is still high, it’s clear that my disinterest in the plot wasn’t a deal-breaker by any means, but I just struggled to stay interested, especially given that I guessed the big plot twist almost immediately. Since these books are so short, I will definitely be reading the sequels. In fact, given how late this wrap-up is, I can say with great certainty that my February wrap-up will have a lot of news regarding my progress on this series.

Outer Order, Inner Calm – Gretchen Rubin

Rating – 3 Stars

I like to try reading books that push me out of my comfort zone, and it has been a long time since I read anything that might be considered a part of the self-improvement genre. Therefore, as a chronically messy person, I thought reading Outer Order, Inner Calm might be an interesting adventure, given that the whole book is dedicated to getting rid of unwanted junk to keep life peaceful.

This was an incredibly easy read. The writing style was simple and easy to digest. Reading it was actually a pretty pleasant and relaxing experience. That said, however, I’m not sure how useful I actually found the book, as the advice felt like it was playing it pretty safe. For the most part, the tips went like “Get rid of things you don’t use anymore” and “Clean your house” with about 75 different variations, each. I’m glad I read it, but I don’t think I got much out of it.

Everything My Mother Taught Me – Alice Hoffman

Rating – 4 Stars

My final read for the month of January was another short story from an Amazon collection like the Forward collection. This is Everything My Mother Taught Me, and it’s my first attempt at reading Alice Hoffman. This follows a young girl who is living at a lighthouse and trying to navigate coming of age with her dysfunctional mother around her. I can’t say much more than that given how short the story is, but I did really enjoy this. This is a common complaint for me with short stories, but the main reason it didn’t get five stars is because it just didn’t feel fully fleshed out. When I read Emergency Skin, I felt like Jemisin did a phenomenal job of packing a full story into a short amount of pages, and Everything My Mother Taught Me didn’t manage this as successfully. I’m still quite eager to pick up more books by Hoffman, however, as I enjoyed her writing style.

Well, now that it’s almost March, I have finally shared what I read in January. What did you read in the first month of the year? Let me know in the comments below!

January 2020 Reading Wrap-Up! Yes, I realize that this post is coming out nowhere near January, but I have been finding it difficult to keep up with blogging lately, so it is what it is, right?

#books #reading #tbr #wrap-up

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theyearoftheking · 4 years

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Book 2: ‘Salem’s Lot

Success is my only motherfuckin' option, failure’s not Mom, I love you, but this trail has got to go, I cannot grow old in Salem's lot So here I go is my shot Feet fail me not 'cause maybe the only opportunity that I got

-Eminem, Lose Yourself

The mere mention of ‘Salem’s Lot has had my brain playing this song on repeat for weeks. And after reading ‘Salem’s Lot, I’d like to point out to Eminem that it’s actually quite difficult to grow old in ‘Salem’s Lot. You’re more likely to be turned into a creepy vampire than grow old and die of natural causes in The Lot. But I feel like if I were to ever address this with one Marshall Mathers, he’d punch me in the face. So I guess I’ll just rest comfortably with my superior Stephen King knowledge.

This was my first reading of ‘Salem’s Lot, and while I enjoyed Carrie; I feel this was the book that made the Stephen King “style” a thing fans are all familiar with. I’m not going to dive into the entire plot and every character, but the format of the book, and the relationships the characters form will be familiar to all King fans. Let me explain.

Part One: The Introduction

The book is divided into three parts. In Part One: Marsten House, we learn about the lovely little town of Jerusalem’s Lot, and start feeling a creeping sense of dread every time the Marsten House is mentioned. We don’t know why we feel creepy dread quite yet, but the feeling is lurking in our stomach like a slimy gas station burrito. We also experience a meet cute between Ben Mears and Susan Norton. Ben is a writer, hanging out at the park, trying to forget all the negativity and bad juju he experienced the first time he lived in ‘Salem’s Lot. But now he’s back, living at Eva Miller’s boarding house, working on his next novel. Susan sees him in the park, and just so happens to be reading one of his books. She asks for an autograph, and he inscribes it, “For Susan Norton, the prettiest girl in the park...” The rest is history. Well, vampire, bloodshed history. But romantic history none the less.

Later on, Ben Mears references The Haunting of Hill House, which was an inspiration for this novel. He tells Susan the subject of his newest novel is, ”...it’s about the recurrent power of evil...” Art imitating life, ammiright, Steve???

Part one also gives us our first (of three!) Wisconsin references. Ben decides to hit up the local watering hole, Dell’s, where he runs into fellow boarding house resident, Weasel Craig. To hear Ben describe it, “...his breath alone could have made Milwaukee famous.” I mean... we do love and brew a lot of beer in this city. But you can imagine my disappointment when in the next paragraph, Weasel orders a pitcher of Budweiser. Gross, Weasel, You deserve to be taken out by those vampires.

Part one continues to give us plenty of local color, and describes the residents of the town (spoiler: don’t get too attached to any of them). Part one ends with some creepy goings-on at the cemetery, and some children disappearing, and later re-appearing in slightly alarming form. Oh, and a lot of bodies at the morgue start disappearing. Never a good sign.

Part Two: The Dread Explained, and the Start of Shit Going Sideways

Part Two: The Emperor of Ice Cream is when the beat drops. But before all of that, we have our final two Wisconsin references. King twice mentions a Packers Patriots game everyone in town is anxious to watch. Ok. I have questions. So many questions. How did Steve decide on this particular football match-up? We’re not division rivals, we don’t even play in the same division. The Packers and Patriots play each other once in a blue moon. Wouldn’t the Bills or the Jets have been a more sensible selection? Maybe the Dolphins? Maybe they were good back in 1975? I don’t know. I do know I personally love Packers/Patriots games because I love seeing Tom Brady pout like a little bitch on the sidelines when our inconsistent defense shows up and decides to tackle him. Repeatedly. It’s a miracle Brady doesn’t trip over that lower lip more.

But I digress. Part two is where shit really starts to go wrong, and we understand the problems plaguing ‘Salem’s Lot are the result of a powerful vampire, Mr. Barlow and his keeper, Mr Straker, moving into Marsten House. That’s right... it’s a vampire book, kids. These two keep a low profile by buying a creepy old murder house, and running an antique store full of old junk in town. As you do.

King holds true to a lot of the traditional vampire stereotypes: they only come out at night, they are burned by sunshine, they sleep in coffins or boxes, they need to be invited in, and they can be repelled by a crucifix or some holy water. No glittery, pretty vamps here. Sorry, Twilight fans. This probs isn’t the book for you.

Part two of the book is filled with creepy passages full of suspense. You know, those parts when you find yourself cringing and chanting, “No! No! Don’t crawl into the creepy old murder house during the day! I don’t care if you think the vampires are sleeping! This isn’t going to end well!” I know most people have those moments when watching movies... but this book (and King in general) usually brings out all the creepy, cringy feels for me.

So, Ben, Susan, and their ragtag band of friends begin to understand the vampire problem, and realize they need to address it before everyone in town either flees, or becomes part of Barlow’s vampire army. One member of their merry band of vampire killers is a little boy by the name of Mark Petrie. Mark lost two of his best friends in the initial round of vampire attacks, and feels guilt about this. If they weren’t on their way to his house to play with his models, maybe they wouldn’t have ended up as part of the un-dead. As a result of this guilt, Mark wants to help the grownups fight the vampires. He’s a bad ass kid. I hope my kid would behave the same way if we were fighting a vampire onslaught in Milwaukee.

King best sums up their crew of vampire killers as, “An old teacher half-cracked with books, a writer obsessed with his childhood nightmares, a little boy who has taken a post-graduate course in vampire lore from the films and the modern prenny-dreadfuls...”

Accurate af.

Part Two ends with a passage I have to share... “The ordinary fellow isn’t half so leery of the superatural as the fiction writers like to make out. Most writers who deal in that particular subject, as a matter of fact, are more hardheaded about spirits and demons and boogies than your ordinary man in the street...”

Part Three: The Real Action, All the Deaths & the Conclusion

Part Three: The Deserted Village wraps everything up. Almost all the residents of ‘Salem’s Lot are turned into vampires, including almost all of the vampire hunters with the exception of Ben and Mark. They ‘nope’ right on out of ‘Salem’s Lot and head for Mexico. Because they’ve seen some shit, and they need to live in perpetual sunshine where they never have to fight vampires again. Only, Ben can’t stop reading the Portland Press-Herald and realizes shit is getting real in Maine again, and they eventually need to go back. Poor Mark; it’s bad enough he lost his friends, had to stake both his parents, and killed the vampire’s keeper. But now he needs to go back? Ugh.

Part three also gives us two coveted Dark Tower references (because, The Beam).

“Ann Norton drew the .38 from the pockets of her wrapper like some creaky gunslinger from beyond time...”

Oh snap. It’s coming. Da da chick, da da chum!

I’ve also failed to mention much about Father Callahan. He was the Catholic priest of ‘Salem’s Lot who suffered a vampire bite despite his crucifix and holy water bath, and was last seen on a bus getting out of town, drinking cheap truck stop liquor. But we’ll see him again. ‘Tis ka.

All and all, a very satisfying book, and I’m very glad I’ve finally gotten around to reading it.

In summation:

Total King Wisconsin Mentions: 4

Dark Tower References: 2

Book Grade: B+

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books:

Salem’s Lot

Carrie

Next up is The Shining; which is perfect since Wisconsin is expecting its first major snowfall this weekend. Fun times.

Until next time- long days and pleasant night, readers!

Rebecca

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pulaasul · 5 years

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Undo 5 - MCU x DCAU - Ending 1 - Canon Compliant

It has been years since the heroes and villains teamed up against Darkseid when people around the world randomly turned to dust, including Billy Batson’s twin sister and best friend. He’s summoned by the Wizard Shazam to undo this phenomenon.

AO3 I FFN

-----

Billy was able to recompose himself as soon as the man in red and gold armor snapped his fingers. A small shockwave caused him to shield his eyes from the dust it was carrying.

Billy felt himself being gently set down on a piece of rock by Spider-Man before he swung his way towards the aforementioned person.

Billy looked around and saw all enemies turn to dust. The big spaceship he and Danvers took down, the hideous creatures that the enemies had in spades. The same thing that happened to the people of his universe, like his twin sister and best friend.

That was when Billy saw Thanos, the Mad Titan, sit on a piece of metal with a contemplative look before he too turned to dust.

Billy scanned his surroundings once more when he saw Danvers standing mere steps away from him looking at Spider-Man's destination. Everyone was silent as they watched Spider-Man near the man.

"Mr. Stark." Billy heard the boy begin. "We won Mr. Stark." He heard the boy continue. "We won." He repeated. "You did it sir, you did it."

Billy could hear the desperation in the boy's voice. He could hear how the boy was pleading for the man not to die before him.

"I'm sorry." Billy heard Spider-Man apologize as a woman in blue and gold armor helped the boy up and give him to another man in gray armor, sobbing.

The woman kneeled before the man known as Mr. Stark and whispered some words to him. A moment later, the light on Mr. Stark's chest faded.

The woman beside Mr. Stark sobbed on his shoulders.

----

A few days have passed since the battle. A wake was held to honor the life of one Tony Stark. While Tony's wife, Pepper, prepared for the said wake, the other members of the Avengers were doing clean up duties and reunited with their families.

Some even went back to school.

"You're not from this Earth." The man with an eyepatch before Billy stated. "Where do you come from?" He asked.

Billy was currently in this world's New York, inside of what's called the Stark Tower. Pepper, offered the place for him once she learned that he was not from this world. It just so happen that the man with an eyepatch, a giant green man and Danvers was with him when he made the admission.

"A realm where none of you exist." Billy replied. "In a sense that our Sorcerer Supreme is possessing a body and I'm the Captain Marvel of my world." He explained.

"Captain Marvel?" Danver asked. "Funny, you say that." She smirked. "I am Captain Marvel."

"So that's why I didn't get your codename while I was Captain Marvel." Billy realized. "We both have the same hero names." He concluded. "Like I said, I am the Captain Marvel of MY WORLD, MY UNIVERSE."

"Are you saying that there's a world, an earth, other than this one?" Nick Fury questioned.

"Yes, there is. "The green man answered. "It's the multiverse theory." He added. "I won't bore you with the details, but if this kid is saying the truth, that's not much of a theory anymore."

"Skip the science-y lecture Dr. Banner." Nick Fury ordered. "Why did you come to this world?"

"Look Fury, I get that you want information." Dr. Banner interrupted. "Could we at least introduce ourselves before interrogating a child?" He asked. "I'm Doctor Bruce Banner, you can call me Professor Hulk." He introduced himself.

"Carol Danvers." Danvers stated. "As you know, I'm the Captain Marvel of this universe."

Nick Fury." The man with the eye patch introduced himself. "That's all." He added. "Now answer the question."

"I was sent here to undo the effects of the Infinity Stones in my world." Billy explained. "While the stones shouldn't be able to affect my world." He continued. "According to Solomon, the destruction of the Infinity Stones, after Thanos's first snap, amplified the decimation's range and affected different universes."

"Was throwing a lightning bolt at the gauntlet supposed to undo the Mad Titan's snap?" Carol asked.

"In of itself, no." Billy answered.

"That was meant to amplify my thoughts when I wielded the gauntlet." Professor Hulk realized. "There were no other events that succeeded my use of the gauntlet before you struck it with lightning."

"Now that your mission here is done." Nick Fury began. "What are you still doing here?" He narrowed his lone eye.

"You don't know how to go back, don't you kid?" Carol asked.

"Not exactly." Billy sighed. "I really only know one spell and that's an enhancement and transfiguration spell rolled into one." He admitted. "I'm in the process of learning another spell, with varying effects."

"Doctor Strange can help you." The big green guy offered.

"Doctor Strange?" Billy questioned. "Is his name Hugo Strange?"

"He's Stephen Strange." Professor Hulk corrected. "He was a neurosurgeon who became a master of the mystic arts." He explained. "Why?"

"Nothing." Billy shrugged. "I'm just marveled that the few similarities our worlds have are also very different."

"Can anyone contact this Doctor Strange character?" Nick Fury questioned. "We need to send this kid home."

"Doctor Strange is a bit busy tidying up the mess in the sanctums." Professor Hulk informed everyone. "That's all he really told anyone."

"What will you do in the meantime kid?" Carol asked.

"Maybe I'll help with the cleanup." Billy offered. "The existence of the 'vanished' has thrown the world in chaos.

"Oh no you don't." Fury rejected the offer. "You're a minor you are to go to school."

"Really?" Billy raised an eyebrow at the demand.

"Is that really wise?" The Hulk asked. "Considering he's from a different universe, a different Earth, the things he'll learn here would be moot when he returns." He added. "Tell me kid, have you heard of Vibranium?"

"Vibranium?" Billy questioned. "What's that supposed to be?" He continued.

"There you go." Hulk dismissed. "Making Billy here go to school would be moot." He smirked. "For the record, Vibranium is this Earth's strongest metal."

(linebreak)

A few days passed and it was the funeral rites of Tony Stark, the person who gave up his life in order to prevent another decimation to happen. Billy found himself donning a suit a little over his size courtesy of May Parker.

Pepper had offered Billy to buy him a suit or at least rent him one, but he refused. Although May Parker was able to convince him to don Peter's old suit back when her husband passed away.

"No!" Came the cry of an indignant child. "Why won't daddy come back?!" She whined. "I want him back!"

"H-honey, Morgan." Pepper knelt before her daughter. "We talked about this right?" She offered a sad smile. "Daddy had to go." She explained. "He's going to a special place."

"But I wanted to come with!" Morgan stomped her legs in frustration. "Everyone carried daddy while he was sleeping inside a building and he did not come back!" She sobbed. "I want to go with daddy!"

"Mrs. Stark?" Billy voiced. "Try telling her the truth." He offered.

Over the course of Tony Stark's, Ironman, wake Billy was acquainted with the different heroes and people of this world aside from this world's Captain Marvel, Nick Fury and Professor Hulk to the Wakandan King, Happy and even Peter Parker.

"Are you sure?" Pepper asked the boy before her.

"It's better than sugarcoating things." Billy reasoned. "Sugarcoating things might only lead to misunderstandings and false hopes."

"I agree." May stood beside Billy. "That's what I did for Peter back when his parents died."

"Morgan, honey." Pepper turned to her daughter. "Do you know why you can't come with Daddy?"

Morgan's tear-stained face simply shook her head, not understanding where this was going.

"Well, honey…" Pepper trailed off. "Daddy died saving everyone."

Billy watched as Morgan's eyes conveyed every bit of negative emotion through her eyes.

"But your dad's still with you, with us." Billy immediately interjected. "He may not be physically present, but he's still with us."

Pepper and Morgan looked at Billy as he spoke.

"He lives on in here." Billy pointed at Morgan's chest.

"In here?" Morgan asked as she cupped the part Billy pointed. "How?"

"So long as we remember all the good times we had with him." Billy smiled.

"Promise?" Morgan questioned.

"Promise." Billy smiled at the young girl

Morgan nodded then looked expectantly at her mother and clutched her mother's skirt. She left the room with her mother as they prepared the urn and an Ironman helmet. May followed soon after.

"You're great with kids." A boy commented. "That was a good way to make the squirt understand what's happening." He added. "As much of a genius that old man was, I don't think his squirt quite understands the situation yet."

"Yeah well, I've been in her position once." Billy shrugged. "My parents were archaeologists that died at the dig site." He continued. "Unlike her, I've got a way worst wake up call." He added. "I really don't want her to experience what I did when my parents died."

"I'm sorry to hear that." The boy offered his sympathies. "I'm Harley Keener by the way."

"Billy Batson." Billy smiled at Harley. "And it's okay." He shrugged. "I just got unlucky that the uncle who should be responsible for raising me took after his namesake in more ways than one." He added. "To put it lightly."

"Why?"

"He's named Ebenezer."

"That greedy guy from A Christmas Carol?" Harley's lips curled up as his eyes went wide.

"Yep." Billy nodded. "Don't worry tho, a lot has happened since I ran away from him." He smiled. "Found my twin sister, gained a best friend and found someone who'd raise me like his own son."

"Good for you."

(linebreak)

After the funeral, Nick Fury and Carol Danvers were with him when they approached Doctor Strange, who immediately went to work to create a portal for him to use.

"You took one big gamble coming to this universe." Doctor Strange commented. "Not only did you risk the ire of your benefactors' counterparts, you also took the risk of not being able to return."

"We took precautions." Billy shrugged. "The only problem was I'm just a beginner of the mystic arts." He admitted. "I only know enhancement and healing spells." He added. "And even then, most of the physical enhancements and healing factor are like passive abilities from any RPG."

"RPG?" Carol questioned. "Passive abilities?"

"Role Playing Game." Wong answered.

"Passive abilities are something akin to one's breathing or heartbeat." Doctor Strange continued.

Billy just stared at the two wizards in awe.

"We may be monks but we're not savages." Doctor Strange shrugged.

The red-caped Sorcerer drew a lot of circles in the air as a circular portal appeared behind Billy.

Suddenly, Stargirl's sigil, the anchoring mark, which Zatanna drew on his arm began to glow violet as ankhs in the same color began to surround the portal and at the same time changing the sparks that it spew into ankhs in the same hue.

"That's a first." Wong commented.

"He has an anchoring mark." Doctor Strange stated. "You took precautions indeed." He nodded.

"So this is goodbye?" Professor Hulk.

"I don't know." Billy shrugged. "Never say never I guess."

"See you next time then." Carol acknowledged.

"Yeah, see you." Billy waved as he walked into the portal.

(line break)

The portal disappeared as soon as Billy went in.

"I don't think the world is ready for the multiverse theory to be proven." Professor Hulk commented as he faced his companions.

"I agree." Nick Fury nodded. "Everyone here should keep mum about this."

"Not that difficult." Doctor Strange replied. "As I understood, our Captain Marvel is most of the time preoccupied in other planets and Professor Hulk is a man of science and knows the very concept of confidentiality." He added.

"And we monks of the sanctum have a thing for secrecy." Wong added.

(linebreak)

"Superman, what's your status?" J'onn questioned through the communicator.

"I've caught the people who reformed in midair." Superman replied. "Thankfully only a few of them were unlucky enough to not reach the ground when they appeared."

"What do you mean?" J'onn asked.

"A lot of these people started reforming in midair J'onn." Wonder Woman answered. "Most of them were completely reformed once they reached the ground." She added.

"Although that does not spare them from getting run over." Flash interjected. "Seriously, a lot of them reformed in the middle of the streets."

"We don't have room to complain Flash." J'onn chided. "We're lucky that Captain Marvel has succeeded."

"Hey guys?" Mary's voice cut in. "Any idea what's going on?"

"Yeah!" Freddy's voice agreed. "I'd like to know why it's suddenly raining people in Fawcett."

"I'll fill them in J'onn." Wonder Woman cut in. "Marvels, we need your help." She ordered. "Once you get everyone from Fawcett to safety, meet me at Metropolis." She added. "I'll fill you in there.

(linebreak)

Mary Marvel and CM3 were facing Wonder Woman as they each carried one person each and gently placed them on top of a secure building.

"You're saying Doctor Fate took Billy to undo the dusting phenomena." Mary clarified. "No one in the league knows where he currently is?"

"What about Batman?" Freddy asked the older heroine.

"I don't have any idea where Doctor Fate took Captain Marvel." Batman interjected through their communicators.

"Eep."

"Check on your benefactor, he should know of Marvel's whereabouts."

"The Wizard!" Mary exclaimed. "Of course!" She grinned. "Thank you so much Wonder Woman, Batman." She expressed her gratitude to the heroes before grabbing the hem of CM3's cape and sped oof.

"Wha-Mary!" Freddy exclaimed.

Soon after, a lightning bolt struck both heroes and left only smoke in their wake.

"Did you really have to scare the poor boy?" Wonder Woman asked Batman through the communicator.

"He needs to be aware of his surroundings Diana." Came Batman's reply.

Wonder Woman only shook her head and fled to someplace else.

(linebreak)

As soon as Billy stepped out of the violet ankh, he was tackled to the ground and was in the receiving end of a group hug, courtesy of his twin sister and best friend.

"Billy!" Mary exclaimed. "You're back!"

"Hey Mary." Billy greeted.

"You're back man!" Freddy greeted.

"Hello to you too Freddy."

"Where have you been?!" Mary questioned. "We asked everyone and no one can give a definite answer."

"Really?" Billy asked. "Not even Doctor Fate, the Wizard, Zatanna or even Stargirl?"

"You know the Wizard is all vague." Freddy huffed. "Most of the league are clueless and you know how Batman is."

"Batman isn't scary Freddy." Billy chuckled. "But I do see your point." He smiled.

"As for Zatanna, Doctor Fate and Stargirl." Mary started. "They're in the Tower of Fate." She answered.

"It's for her safety." The Wizard added.

"Wizard!" All three teenagers exclaimed.

"Courtney Whitmore could not handle the strain of being a magical anchor when the spell activated." The Wizard continued. "To keep her safe and monitored, Doctor Fate and Zatanna brought her to the Tower of Fate."

"Courtney Whitmore is already stable." Doctor Fate announced as he appeared through a golden ankh. "And is on her way to recovery."

"Can we visit her?" Billy asked.

Doctor Fate nodded as he made way for the Marvel family to pass through.

"Before we visit her." Billy voiced out. "How long was I away?"

"You've been away for approximately 15 hours." The Lord of Order answered. "Five hours since your departure, the dusting phenomenon was undone as people started reforming all over the world." He continued.

After expressing his gratitude, Billy and his family started walking towards the golden ankh that brought Doctor Fate to the Rock of Eternity to visit Stargirl.

"Wow." Billy marveled at the revelation." I was only gone for 15 hours when I was in that reality for about a week and five days." He shared to his family.

"Holy Moley!" Freddy exclaimed. "That's insane."

The conversation between the members of the Marvel family continued as they went through the golden ankh.

"Wizard Shazam." Doctor Fate started as soon as the trio went through the ankh. "I thank you for allowing Billy Batson to travel dimensions and reverse the otherworldly phenomenon that was forced unto our world." He expressed his gratitude. "Through him order was restored."

"I was once a Lord of Order myself Nabu." Shazam pointed out. "I too wished for it to be restored." He added. "Although gratitude should be expressed to him alone." He continued. "He was the one who made everything possible."

"All true." Doctor Fate nodded. "Until we meet again Shazam."

"You as well, Nabu."

Doctor Fate went back to the golden ankh that he used for transport and left as the ankh vanished, leaving the Wizard Shazam in its wake.

A moment later, the Wizard Shazam himself promptly vanished leaving the Rock of Eternity uninhabited.

#billy batson #carol danvers #tony stark #nick fury #freddy freeman #avengers endgame #captain marvel #shazam #mary batson #hulk #bruce banner #story

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sinsiriuslyemo · 6 years

Text

Halloween is upon us!! I love these two so so much and with the last few weeks I’ve been having, I needed these two to brighten my life. Thank you guys so much for reading and commenting/reblogging. It means the world that you’re enjoying Rabastian as much as I am <3

tagged: @bullet-prooflove, @delia26, @ghostofachancewithyou, @whiterose2664, @blown-transistor, @esparza-army, @mikeydodds, @southern-magnolia

7. Halloween

Rafael sighed exasperatedly as he finally made it into his office, carelessly laying his briefcase on top of his desk. The last week had been nothing short of hell on earth; SVU had picked up Eddie on suspicion of rape, and the pandora’s box that had opened thereafter had left him feeling betrayed all over again.

The fallout from it all had only begun it seemed and judging by the vast amount of press that was outside Hogan Place waiting for him, it didn’t seem to be slowing down any time soon either. Alex had somehow topped himself by claiming that Rafael and a few choice others were setting him up to keep him from winning the election. It certainly didn’t take long for a leak from wherever to tip off reporters that Rafael and Alex had a history, which of course was followed by the insinuation that the timeliness of the information SVU had dug up was some kind of payback for something that had happened over twenty years ago.

As if Alex throwing both he and Eddie under the bus in order to try to save himself wasn’t enough, Yelina had turned her back on him, too.

The best parts of his days had been Sebastian’s company every morning and every night. Had it not been for the fact that he started and ended his day in such a peaceful presence, Rafael might’ve been in much worse shape.

Taking a long sip from his coffee, he settled into his seat just as a knock sounded from the door to his office. For a moment, he thought it could be the DA and he felt the muscles on his shoulders tighten as he placed his cup on his desk and slowly sat up.

“Come in,” he called out, letting out a silent breath when Liv walked in. “I suppose there’s very little chance that you’re here to deliver good news.”

“Relax, I just came to see how you were doing,” she answered with a disarming smile.

“I’ve been better,” he replied, bobbing his shoulders as he took up his coffee again.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “He was your friend--”

“--He was a lot of other things, too,” Rafael mumbled.

Despite the fact that he’d opened up to her when Eddie was first brought in, Rafael was still weary of forming a bond closer to friends than colleagues with Olivia. Part of the reason he’d had such an incredible record at the Brooklyn DA’s office had been due to his strict boundaries with the detectives that he worked with. His intentions when he’d moved to SVU in Manhattan was to keep the same boundaries in place. Up until the week before, it had worked perfectly, but after Eddie’s arrest, Rafael had needed to unload and Olivia had been a sympathetic ear. Still, he was cautious of letting it go any further than one colleague taking consideration with another.

She looked about to say something else, but seemed to think better of it and lowered her eyes.

If he were being honest, he didn’t really want to speak anymore on what had happened and he instead tried to think about his breakfast with Sebastian earlier that morning since it had been the best thing about the day thus far.

“Actually, I’m glad you stopped by. I was hoping I might ask for a favor.”

She arched a brow. “Name it.”

“Could you look into an old case for me?” he asked carefully.

“How old are we talking?”

“25 years..?” he replied.

“You thinking it might be tied to a current case?” she asked.

“No, this would be more a personal favor,” he answered.

She seemed somewhat pleased with his answer, one corner of her mouth quirking upward as her brow knitted. “Okay. You know the case number?”

“No...but I do have a name, Delilah Everette. She was shot on her way home from work,” he replied.

“Do you know where?”

He shook his head.

“I can run her name, see what shakes loose. Was it someone you knew?”

“Not exactly,” he said. She seemed to want him to say more and he cleared his throat as his fingers gently twisted his coffee cup on top of his desk.

“Barba, seriously? What’s with the cloak and dagger?” she asked playfully.

He sighed softly, eying the open door for a moment before he went and closed it and looked back at her. “I met someone.”

She looked surprised and for a moment, he was almost offended.

“You don’t have to look so surprised,” he quipped.

“I guess I just assumed you lived at the office,” she teased. “Is this...Delilah Everette, is it a relative?”

“Yes. The police never caught the man responsible. I thought maybe you could take a look, maybe find something the original investigators missed.”

“Yeah, I could try,” she replied, nodding her head.

“Thank you.”

“Sure,” she said, sliding her hands into her front pockets as she gave him a polite smile. “You know...after last week, everything you told me about Eddie and...and Alex and Yelina...I thought maybe our relationship had developed a little. It almost felt like...”

He knitted his brows, and even though he knew what she might’ve said, he still asked, “What?”

“Like we were friends,” she said, brown eyes trained on his green. “You don’t strike me as the kind of man who makes friends often, not because he can’t make any but because he won’t let himself be vulnerable to most people. I think you made an exception for me last week because you needed someone to understand, someone to be your friend. I was happy to be that for you because you’ve always been that for me and I just want you to know that I don’t take your trust lightly. You can talk to me.”

The corner of his mouth quirked upward briefly as he nodded once. He hadn’t expected for Olivia to be so intuned with him and realized that it was likely due to the fact that whether he had realized it sooner or not, they were in fact friends. And unlike Alex Muñoz, Rafael knew in his heart that Liv would never betray his trust. He couldn’t have explained the feeling if he tried and his cynical nature nagged at him that he needed to be careful to not confide too much in the detective despite his intuitions telling him that she had his back.

“Thank you,” he said.

Olivia nodded back. “I’ll look for Delilah Everette’s casefile and let you know if I find anything.”

“I appreciate it.” She began to walk to the door and he reached out to brush his fingers over the material of her sleeve. “Liv?” She looked back at him. “Thank you...for everything. My friend.”

Olivia smiled, nodding again. “You're mine too,” she whispered before playfully adding, “Happy Halloween.”

“You too.”

By the time he got out of the office just after six o’clock, trick-or-treating was already in full swing. He’d never seen so many children out all at once despite the cold that had come in just the week before. Even just outside Hogan Place, where the surrounding structures were all government buildings, kids dressed as vampires and princesses walked along the sidewalk, likely on their way to one of the parks on either side of the courthouse.

Rafael quickly decided to take an Uber to his neighborhood instead of taking the subway as he usually did--he could only imagine what kind of circus would’ve awaited him on the subway. Aside from avoiding children in costume, the clouds in the sky gave indication of oncoming rain and there was nothing worse than a muddy, old train station on a night when kids ran freely. His suit would have most definitely not survived a train ride to Greenwich Village.

Sebastian hadn’t asked him to bring anything, but still Rafael was used to never showing up to someone’s home empty handed. He’d stopped at his apartment and changed into more comfortable clothes and rifled through his kitchen cabinets until he’d found a bag of unmade popcorn and walked down the street to Sebastian’s building. A light sprinkle of rain had already begun to fall and Rafael quickened his stride in order to beat the possible storm that was approaching.

He let out a breath as he went in through the door beside the bar entrance and climbed the narrow staircase to the lone apartment. Knocking on the door, the ADA shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he waited for an answer. It wasn’t long before the door opened, revealing Sebastian in jeans that hugged him just right and a black tshirt.

“Hi,” the pianist said, stepping aside to let the lawyer cross over the threshold. “You look amazing.”

Blue eyes looked over him appreciatively, causing Rafael to blush as a heat quickly rose on the back of his neck and he felt his nipples harden beneath his dark blue button down.

“So do you,” he replied, smirking as he leaned in and dropped a chaste kiss on the pianist’s lips.

“So I was thinking pizza,” Sebastian said. “And I thought I’d leave the movie for you to pick. Took out all my scary ones just for you.”

“Oh, how thoughtful,” Rafael replied with a smirk as Sebastian helped him out of his jacket. “I brought popcorn.”

“I like it,” Sebastian said in a chuckle. “Dessert?”

“A salty, buttery dessert,” Rafael mused with a smirk. “That’s new.” He handed the square packet over and stepped further into the apartment. “Wow,” he said, looking at all the movies stacked on the coffee table. There must’ve been at least forty of them, spanning over thirty years. “So is it safe to say you love horror movies?”

“I love movies in general,” Sebastian answered as he walked past Rafael to cross the living room and go into the kitchen. “Beer?”

“Yes, please,” the ADA answered as he picked up The Shining and flipped it over to look at the back of the cover. “This movie terrified me when I first saw it.”

“Yeah, me too. Still does,” Sebastian said as he came back into the living room and handed Rafael one of the bottles in his hands. “You know it’s actually based on a real experience Stephen King had?”

“I thought I read that somewhere,” Rafael replied, looking back at the musician and tipping his bottle so that the neck clinked with the one Sebastian held. “Misery, too, right? Real experience?”

“Not as extreme, but yeah, it actually happened to him,” the pianist answered.

Another DVD caught Rafael’s eye and he snorted as he picked it up. “Not exactly scary.”

“Please, Hocus Pocus is, like, the classic Halloween movie,” Sebastian replied with a grin. “It’s got Bette Midler, witches and a talking cat, what else could you want?”

“You sold me with Bette Midler,” Rafael said, setting down The Shining and handing the other DVD to the musician.

“What do you like on your pizza?” Sebastian asked as he loaded the DVD.

“Mushrooms and pepperoni.”

“Eik, so maybe we’ll do a pepperoni and half with mushrooms,” Sebastian replied.

“You don’t like mushrooms?” Rafael asked.

“Nah, I don’t dig on fungi,” Sebastian said. “Pepperoni is good though.”

The ADA chuckled as he sat on the couch. “Fungi?”

“That’s what it is,” Sebastian answered with a grin as he bobbed his shoulders.

“Fair, but they happen to be good for you.”

“On pizza, huh?” Sebastian replied as he took up a stack of menus on the coffee table and flipped through them.

“Touche,” Rafael mumbled with the smirk still on his face.

“I still like ya,” Sebastian teased with a wink as he pulled out his phone and called the pizza place two blocks down.

Rafael took a moment to glance around the musician’s apartment and noticed what looked to be a guitar stand sitting by the window, though there was no guitar. He found himself wondering where the guitar was when Sebastian hung up the phone and looked over at him.

“Forty minutes,” he said, putting his phone down on the coffee table. “I guess pizza is more popular on Halloween than I thought.”

“That’s alright,” Rafael replied, turning his head to gesture to the guitar stand with his chin. “Didn’t realize you play guitar too.”

“Oh yeah,” the musician answered. “I don’t know if I’d say I play guitar, but I dabble a little.”

“I’d love to hear you play sometime.”

“Maybe, sometime,” Sebastian replied. “I never asked, you play anything?”

“Me? No,” Rafael answered. “I’m more of a crosswords guy. New York Times, they usually have the best ones.”

“Must be why you’re so good with words,” Sebastian said, earning a grin from the ADA. “I’m glad you decided to come over.”

“So am I,” Rafael answered. “Though I am a little curious as to what you usually do for Halloween.”

Sebastian bobbed his shoulders. “Last couple years I went to my buddy, Casper’s place. Dressed up, watched movies, hung out.”

“I see...so why no costume this year?”

“You want me in a costume? I can take care of that right now,” Sebastian replied, smiling as he stood and looked around his living room.

He reached for a red blanket that had been carelessly tossed in a bean bag chair in the corner of the room and hung it over his shoulders. Stepping to the bookshelf beside the window that faced the street, he gently flicked through the contents of a small tin on one of the shelves until he found a safety pin and used it to secure the blanket around his neck. Turning and holding his hands out, he grinned in triumph at the ADA.

“There, I’m a superhero,” he said.

Rafael laughed as he stood and walked up to the slightly shorter hand, straightening either side of his makeshift cape, pulling either side securely around the pianist’s shoulders. “I would’ve guessed Prince Charming.”

Sebastian grinned bashfully as the light tapping on the window by the piano became a pitter-patter of thick, heavy raindrops. Faint shrieks of surprise echoed from street level, and still all Rafael could see in that moment was Sebastian.

He could smell the other man’s soap, the same hint of cedar that had ingrained itself in his memory from the first time the musician had kissed him and Rafael found himself taking a small step closer. Eyes falling to Sebastian’s lips, the ADA let his fingers loosen until they released their hold on the blanket and grazed over the pianist’s broad chest. A barely visible shudder fell over Sebastian’s frame and his hands moved to grasp Rafael’s waist as he closed the space between them. Humming as Sebastian’s pout pressed against his, Rafael curled his own arms around the other man, one hand flattening against his back while the other took a fistful of soft, dark-blonde hair.

A tingle of what felt like the most gentle electricity traveled from his lips to his groin as he tilted his head to deepen their kiss. He groaned against Sebastian’s lips when he felt the pianist’s hands slide down to his hips and carefully squeeze, pulling him even closer. The skin beneath his shirt grew hot, aching to be touched and his heart felt as though it would burst through his ribs at any moment. A movement over his shaft caused a rush of blood to the area and Rafael groaned as his tongue slid along the musician’s wantonly. He took a step back when the pianist stepped forward until the backs of his calves met the edge of the couch.

The hand in Sebastian’s hair slid down his chest, over his stomach, inching towards his belt. When his fingers reached the hem of the musician’s tshirt, Rafael slipped them under the fabric to trail over the heated skin beneath. A moan vibrated against Rafael’s lips as Sebastian’s hands grasped his hips, gathering the material of his shirt and tugging until it was untucked from his jeans. He felt the gentle pulls of his shirt being unbuttoned and the cool air that hit his lower belly with each fasten that Sebastian loosened.

Rafael slid his hand further beneath the hem of the musician’s tshirt and stroked over the shorter man’s hairy belly. Moaning as Sebastian trailed kisses over his jawline and down the length of his neck, Rafael began to push the musician’s tshirt up when a loud crackle of thunder caused the two men to jolt in place. Their eyes met as they both panted softly, chests steadily moving up and down.

Before either could say or do anything, a sharp buzz cut through the air as the lights went out, leaving them with only the lightning and street lamps outside to illuminate the apartment.

“Well shit,” he heard Sebastian mumble. Rafael couldn’t help the chortle that passed through his lips. “I think I might have at least one candle around here somewhere.”

“You need help looking for it?” Rafael asked as the musician took up his phone and turned on the flashlight on the device.

“Nah, I’m pretty sure I know where it is, I’ll just be sec,” Sebastian answered.

“Okay. Where’s your bathroom?”

“It’s that first door in the hall. You gonna be okay without--” Sebastian’s inquiry was cut short when the ADA produced his own cell phone and turned on the flash.

“I’ll be fine,” Rafael answered with a smirk before he walked to the restroom. As he closed the door to the bathroom, he let out a breath and set his phone on the vanity before going to relieve himself.

His heart still pounded mercilessly in his chest and his lips burned from he and the pianists kissing as he shook off his semi erect penis and tucked it back into his jeans. Moving to the sink after he flushed, he turned on the water and splashed some over his face, effectively cooling the heated skin, before he washed his hands and fastened the unbuttoned bottom half of his shirt.

Despite his urge to go back into the living room and bend over Sebastian’s piano, the reality was that they’d never had a conversation about sex and Rafael knew that before they went any further, that talk would have to take place. Still, he wasn’t entirely sure he was ready for that conversation just yet. It had been so long since he’d been with anyone or even felt interested in anyone beyond admiring them from a distance. The idea of getting close, of being so painfully vulnerable to someone was still something that made him nervous.

Picking up his phone, he walked out of the bathroom and found Sebastian had lit a large, four-wick candle that was now situated on the center of the coffee table.

“I just got off the phone with Joe--he owns the building--said he’s working on getting the power back on, but it could be a little while,” the musician said. “These old buildings, you know? Fused blow all the time.”

“That’s okay,” Rafael answered as he sat down beside the pianist on the couch. “It’s kinda fitting for Halloween night, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, it definitely makes it a little spookier. Doesn’t sound like the rain’s gonna let up any time soon either,” Sebastian answered, looking over at Rafael and biting his bottom lip.

Rafael could feel a stir in his belly as the musician carefully slid closer to him and draped an arm over the back of the couch. He opened his mouth and looked about to say something when a knock sounded at the door and Sebastian sighed. He stood and answered it, paying for their pizza before he came back to join Rafael on the couch again.

For a moment, the two were silent and Rafael gently cleared his throat.

“So, I think we should talk about what happened before the power went out,” he said

“Yeah, that, uh...that kiss was really…” He watched as Sebastian searched for an adequate word to complete his statement and Rafael subconsciously licked his lips.

“Yes, it was,” he said, admiring the way the candle light fell over Sebastian’s face. “I want you.”

Sebastian’s chest expanded as he inhaled deeply and let the breath out. “I want you, too.”

“But it’s been awhile since I’ve had any kind of intimacy and I think, maybe we should just wait until...you know, we’re both ready,” Rafael replied.

“That’s the thing, I don’t really uh…” The pianist chuckled nervously and swallowed. “I can’t...ever really tell…”

“What do you mean?”

“Uh, let’s see how do I put this?” Sebastian mumbled to himself as he turned his head to look at the TV as though he would find the answer there. After a moment, he turned back to Rafael. “Okay. So...I was seeing this guy a few years back. Nothing serious, but I liked him and we pretty much slept together right away, right after the second date. I thought maybe we might’ve been exclusive, but he, I guess, didn’t think the same. He just wanted to have fun, which is fine, but it’s not what I wanted, you know? Then a couple years later, I met another guy and I figured, since having sex so quick didn’t pan out the first time, I figured I’d get to know him first.”

“That seems logical,” Rafael offered.

“That’s what I thought,” the musician answered with a somber smirk. “He told me he was looking for something serious, so I took him at his word.”

“But he wasn’t?”

Sebastian sighed. “No. We were uh...we were sharing a cab, on our way back from a date and he…” He took a deep breath. “He lived closer to the place we were coming from so, I gave the cab driver his address. We’d been seeing each for a little while by then and I figured, maybe it was time we took things to the next level...I didn’t tell him that, I just told the cab driver to go to his place. Anyway, right after I give the address, he says ‘Oh, I’m not going home yet. I’m gonna hit up Splash.’ Splash is a--”

“--The gay bar, yeah, I’ve been before. A long time ago, but I know the place. Why was he going to a gay bar if he was seeing you?”

“That’s what I said,” Sebastian answered. “And he said, ‘Well, I like you and all, but I’m horny, I wanna fuck.’ Needless to say, that was the end of that...and I haven’t dated since. So after both those experiences, I never know when the right time is to take that step. If it’s too soon, I risk that the relationship is built on something physical, which eventually won’t be enough for any kind of longevity. But if I wait too long, I risk that either the guy will get bored before we get there or that the sex will be terrible, in which case we’ll both have wasted our time.” He carefully turned in his seat to better face Rafael. “And the thing is I really like you a lot. So, I wanna do this right. You know, whatever’s right for us. I just don’t know what that is.” He chuckled and rubbed a hand over his face. “I’m broken.”

“You’re not broken,” Rafael whispered as another strike of lightning illuminated the candle-lit apartment. “And I like you a lot too. I really like spending time with you, even when it’s just coffee in the morning or a nightcap and a short walk to my building. And I’ll admit that sex has entered my mind, but...I want it to be right for us too. And I think we’ll know when the time is right for us to take that step.”

Sebastian smiled. “Think so?”

“I do,” Rafael answered, smiling back as he nodded. “I have a pretty bad history with relationships, too. I fell in love with one of my closest friends when I was a kid. Alex. I thought about telling him how I felt but I never did. Looking back though, I think part of him always knew in a way… Anyway, we got older and then I started to have feelings for this girl, Yelina, that we went to school with. I finally got to courage to ask her out and she accepted. I was so crazy about her and I even convinced myself that we would get married someday, have a family. After a few months of us dating, I noticed that she was spending more time with Alex.”

“Alex...you’re first love,” Sebastian said, gently squeezing the ADA’s hand in a form of comfort.

Rafael nodded and whispered, “Yes.”

He bit his lip as the memories came flooding back, the pain so vivid that it was as if he was right back in that place in time. A sting on his nose threatened to bring the long forgotten pain to the surface and he inhaled slowly, pushing the ache down into the depths of his subconscious.

“Pretty soon she only wanted to go out if Alex was going, and a few weeks after, she dumped me and started dating Alex. They’re married now...they have kids,” he said. “But I hadn’t seen them in years up until last week and judging from what happened it doesn’t look like I’ll see them again for a very long time, so at least there’s that.”

“Wait Alex...as in Alex Muñoz, the guy was running for mayor?” Rafael nodded. “I saw him on the news the other day. Sound like a couple of idiots, those two,” Sebastian replied. “They’d have to be to not see how lucky they were to have your attention.”

Rafael smirked sadly. “I had a couple of relationships in college but by the time I got to law school, I just kinda gave up on romance. And I was so busy that I never really noticed it’s absence...until I met you.”

Grinning at the ADA, Sebastian rocked forward in his seat to drop a brief kiss on the prosecutor’s lips. “I’m glad I met you too.”

There was a buzz that sounded just before the light flickered on again and Sebastian chuckled softly. “Well...why don’t we eat some pizza and settle in for Bette Midler. Then later we can pop that popcorn, scare ourselves with a little Nicholson. Sound good? Fun Halloween?”

“I would love that,” Rafael answered as the corner of his lips curled upward.

Sebastian opened the pizza box and held a hand up. “After you, please. Plates?”

“I think we can manage,” the ADA replied, still smirking as he tore a piece of pizza from the pie and took a bite. “So, does she sing in the movie?” he asked as Sebastian turned on the TV and started the DVD.

“Does she sing in the movie,” Sebastian repeated in a chortle before playfully adding, “Come on, it’s Bette Midler.”

“You know now I fully expect a big, diva performance,” Rafael teased.

“Oh, you’ll get it. I have this song on a playlist.”

“Interesting, what do you call this playlist?” Rafael asked.

“Pretty sure it’s just called Queens,” Sebastian answered, earning a hearty laugh from the ADA.

“I like it,” Rafael replied.

Sebastian grinned. “Oh good. How’s your pizza?”

“Delicious. Yours? Fungi-free?”

It was the musician’s turn to laugh. “Yeah, it’s good,” he answered as they both settled comfortably against the couch and placed their attention on the movie.

#the prosecutor and the piano bar #rabastian #law and order svu

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theyuniversity · 6 years

Text

My Relationship with Writing (And how my passion has sometimes done me more harm than good)

This year has been rather challenging for me — socially, emotionally, and perhaps spiritually. I have gone through adversities that firmly instilled in me the understanding of the value and significance of healthy relationships. I was experiencing, first-hand, what it meant to be in a toxic friendship, which caused me to bitterly reflect on my past for a month or so.

Gradually, I realized that the majority of my past friendships have been unhealthy — they caused me unnecessary emotional exhaustion that I was, stupidly enough, willing to put up with, for the mere sake of the few moments of joy I sometimes shared with these individuals.

With even deeper and broader reflection, I realized something else which was rather difficult to swallow: my relationship with writing has been no different.

Writing, the one thing I’ve always done diligently and tirelessly, the one thing I was known by everybody for admiring, and encouraged by friends to pursue as a future career, to be one of the causes of distress and agony in my life?

No way, but yes.

Because I handled it the wrong way, my passion has been weighing me down in ways I did not think possible.

Time for Myself

I had gone on a break from writing to take some time to develop the ‘observant’ part of the writer in me, as well as for my mental health. It was a slow process that my writing ‘hiatus’ was taking the form of quitting altogether. In fact, I was eventually growing delusional about it being a hiatus as the days passed by. And, oh, the Q-word! Deep down, the Q-word frightened me, but never to the point of reality, because I was simply certain that my passion was incontestably too invincible to ever be vanquished.

Yet, one day, I had to stop denying the manifest practical application of the Q-word onto my writing life. As I wandered alone and wistful one morning in the narrow underground tunnels for hours and hours, I broke the deathly 4 am silence by unfeelingly uttering the defeated phrase: I quit writing.

It almost hurts to say, but it was a truly liberating moment, albeit fleetingly. I felt immensely happy, unbound, and weightless enough to jump from rooftop to rooftop. I did not feel that I had lost a part of myself, but rather discovered another latent, budding part in me I did not even know I’d possessed.

I had gone from writing often to seldom, not because I had too little to say, but rather because of a lot of fear and a bit of apathy. On the contrary, I in fact have so much on my mind nowadays which, with even a modicum of inspiration and willpower, I could easily make use of to create poetic masterpieces.

What Caused This Toxicity?

My attitude towards writing, my love for it, and sometimes lack of it, poisoned my passion like a drip of ink in water. I had the tendency to look at writing as both an enemy and a friend that sometimes made me laugh and sometimes cry, made me feel worthy as an artist one minute and worthless the next. I oscillated from believing it to be my main source of hope for a blossoming future to fearing it to be the path to a lifetime of imminent failure and rejection.

Like my relationships with people, there are blissful days in my writing life which imbue me with temporary euphoria, such as the day I finally finish writing an article or a poem, or the one lucky day out of a week or two when I’m able to articulate my thoughts with seemingly impeccable eloquence, or the day my deeply thought-out ideas for my story seem to finally fall together, like stars that align in the darkness of my indecisiveness. These are comparable to the days my toxic friends (remember to) invite me when they go watch a movie, or spend an evening in the cafè, or simply the days they check up on me to inquire about my quietness with concern.

It would be a lie, however, to say that those euphoric days make up for the nightmarish ones, when writing behaves like a malicious enemy by reminding me daily that my efforts are not enough, and have never truly been.

Oftentimes I feel that my writer’s block is the equivalent of an amazing friend who deals with conflicts by giving me the silent treatment. This reminds me of another friend I once had who ignored me for so long that I’d now forgotten how his voice sounded like, just as I had forgotten how writing felt like.

Writing Culture

Unfortunately, if you familiarize yourself with the world of writing, you will notice some kind of palpable negativity embedded into the advice and tips that some writers give to amateurs and professionals alike.

There is always the belief that writers are essentially miserable, frustrated, and may go eons without producing meaningful work, or any work at all.

And there is the belief that writers are never satisfied with their work, and that they are, for every 60 minutes of an hour, banging their heads on their keyboards to reprimand themselves for their ineptitude and inability to live up to average expectations.

And then there is the belief that writers, every so often, seriously regret their past career decisions and question their future career plans in that field, and have this heated, full-on mental debate as to whether writing was ever created for them.

Positivity from Stephen King

I often felt the very same way, but my outlook changed drastically after I came across this interview with Stephen King and George RR Martin, where King shuts down these self-doubting thoughts with force and vehemence.

And I couldn’t help but think, What a Legend!

The unequivocal confidence he has on his place as a writer, and his choice to write, and his healthy attitude towards that choice, left me in awe.

So, after watching that, here are some of the thoughts I had to continually remind myself of in order to keep myself from falling off the ledge of sanity and into the abyss of despair:

Writing is not supposed to make you feel negative about yourself. Your passion has to be a door for your creativity and productivity. Your passion must serve as a main source of inspiration, catharsis, and a big part of your self-identity. Yes, it has to be difficult and challenging every once in a while. No, it is impossible for such a hobby to come free of hardships. But what we should not be doing is normalizing and romanticizing the constant mental/nervous/emotional breakdowns and feelings of self-doubt and self-loathing that many writers experience along with these challenges. This is not normal. This is not healthy. These experiences can, and should, inevitably happen every now and then; however, with regularity, they can weigh you down till your breaking point. They can mercilessly exhaust your passion and turn it into pure apathy or, better yet, resentment. And with an attitude that deems them as typical and welcomes their steady occurrence, you will end up either writing yourself stupid, or crumpling your empty papers into your fists with rage before calling it quits.

It took me a while to realize that while writing requires sacrifices, these sacrifices should never limit your overall quality of life and throw you into a zombie-like state of mind. I mean, at some point, I was missing classes, cancelling social plans, and skipping meals for the mere sake of productivity, because I was still unfamiliar with the heaven-sent concept known as balance.

Moreover, I believe that the main reason I agreed with these negative ideas about writers was because I was adamant about not changing my detrimental writing techniques (they felt … just right) and generally sought ways to justify them and regard them as the normal benchmark for artists.

The knowledge that I was not the only ‘writer’ who was unskillful with words, forever stuck in the void of writer’s block, brought me immense temporary reassurance, but in the long run made me feel that it was absolutely typical to feel listless, yet pensive, and frustrated at reconciling the two.

Writing the Pain Away

It is funny, because it took me a considerably long time to deduce why and how writing was causing me so much agony. It was not until two weeks ago when I decided to do some 3 am writing on my recent loss of friendship and unfathomable decision to quit writing (the irony) that I realized and accepted that the fault was on me and my poor coping mechanisms all along.

I’ve always said that writing was a revelation: it reveals feelings and thoughts in your heart and mind which you don’t even know are there. The more you write, the more you know who you are.

It might had been writing that caused me pain, but it was also writing that revealed to me why this was happening, and it’s also writing that I am, right now, using as an outlet to release the waves of ambivalent feelings flooding from my tightening chest.

So, depending on how you deal with it, your passion can leave you confused for months or it can decipher your most heavily complex feelings in an hour. And perhaps I should do less writing on the corner of my unmade bed and more on that bench outside in the grass and beneath the light of the sun.

Treat your passion like a benevolent friend who desires your success as much as you do, and you’ll be met with much more productivity and much less toxicity in return.

✍🏻 Written by Sanbella, writing intern at The YUNiversity

Website | Twitter | Instagram | Medium | Pinterest

#YUNiversity Interns #writing #Stephen King #G.R.R. Martin

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poppyclark · 6 years

Text

The Shining

Pairing: Spencer Reid X Reader Type: Smut Word Count: 1,397 Scenario: You and your friend Spencer watch The Shining and things get heated.

I flipped through the channels on the television before stopping when I saw “The Shining”. Stephen King was a genius. It’d gotten to the part when the man is hitting the door with an axe and I heard a loud bang within my apartment, causing me to jump and let out a slight squel, before seeing Spencer. I paused the movie.

My friend Spencer, whom I shared this apartment with, laughed, “Scared of a man with an axe?” He asked, pointing to the screen.

“Only when you lead me to believe he’s in the apartment.” I replied, with a hand over my chest, feeling my racing heartbeat.

He laughed yet again, as though my terror was something of a joke. But I smiled, and invited him to watch the movie with me.

He sat down in the arm chair next to the couch I was alone on, “Uh uh.” I protested.

He looked confused.

“I’m not being scared alone, and your presence is no more comforting when you’re that far away.” I explained.

He rolled his eyes and got up, sitting close to me. I unpaused the movie and flinched at the next bang as the axe hit the door, it mixed eerily with the screams of his wife, “If you’re so scared why watch it?” He asked.

I looked over at him, our faces inches from each other, I could feel his breath on my face and our eyes were locked on each other as a certain energy filled the space between us. I swallowed visibly, “Because umm, I don’t know...sometimes even if something makes you scared, you still wanna...” I trailed off.

He closed the space between you and a rush of excitement went from the tips of my toes all the way to the top of my head. My hands fumbled with the buttons on his shirt and he quickly followed them to help. As soon as I realized what was happening I pulled back, “Wait.” I said. A ping of regret became increasingly noticeable. But if I was gonna be the one lecturing others about not rushing into sex before talking about it, I had to practice what I preached.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t of-”

“No no, it’s not-...I liked that.” I reassured him.

He smiled, and then looked confused, “So, why the sudden hold up?” He asked.

“I just-...” I sighed.

“Y/N, you can tell me anything.” He said sincerly.

“I know. I just feel like we should talk before we..” I swear, I’m mature, I just never liked the word “Sex”.

He nodded, “Sure, umm. Are you comfortable? I mean, there’s no need not to be. You can trust me.” He insisted.

I reached for his hand and interlaced my fingers with his, “Yeah, I am. And you?” I asked.

He opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it again. He nodded with small smile on his face.

“I know this is an odd question, but sadly I have to ask...” I said, I felt my face fall, “You’ll stop if I ask you too?”.

His eyes widened, “Wh-of course!” He exclaimed, “Y/N, nothing matters more to me than making you feel good right now. If you’re ever uncomfortable then tell me.” He insisted.

I nodded my head, and he smiled, “Like,” He moved his hand up my leg, as his fingers moved dangerously close to my crotch, “Are you uncomfortable now?” He whispered, as his eyes were on me.

I shook my head, “Definitely not.”

“What about this..” He said, he moved to my neck and started kissing me right on the most sensitive part of my skin. I breathed out and a small moan went with it. I blushed, embarrassed by how easily I was affected. I felt him smile on my skin. One of my hands went to his hair while the other found his shoulder, I wanted to touch him everywhere I could.

“Should we move this to my room?” He asked, and I felt his breath against my skin before he returned to kissing my neck.

I smiled, “Yeah...”

I walked into the pristine bedroom. His bed was made perfectly and every book was in it’s correct place. “I almost hate to mess up this perfect display..” I said.

“What do you mean?” He asked, oblivious to how “Type A” his bedroom was.

“Nothing I-” Before I could finish my sentence he had me pinned against his door, with my wrist in his hand, keeping me from grazing his perfect body I’d always made an attempt not to notice.

He kissed me like I was what he’d always wanted, like I’d kept him waiting too long. With the hand I had free, I pulled him closer from the back of his neck, wanting the non-existent space between us gone.

His hands ventured downwards and underneath the hem of my shirt, he pulled it off and threw it on the ground. I could feel my blood rushing through my veins and my underwear was already wet.

I walked forwards slightly and kissed his neck, I heard him groan and I smiled, He unhooked my bra and I slipped it off without taking my attention away from kissing him. We slowly walked towards the bed and due to lack of coordination skills on both parts, ended up falling on it. The small fit of laughter was exactly what we needed to make this moment a little less intense.

I went back to his half unbuttoned shirt to get it all the way off, “You’re wearing to many clothes..” I remarked.

“I’ll say the same for you until I can see every inch of your body.” He said seriously.

“As you wish, Doctor.” I said, pulled my pants and underwear down in one swoop. Both of us could tell we didn’t wanna waste much time.

I saw him throw his shirt on the ground and he reached out for my hand, I accepted and he pulled me onto the bed, I fell next to him and he rolled on top of me, the hardness of his cock was very noticeable as it was pressed up against me through his pants. I fumbled with his belt buckle in an attempt to take it off, and he helped me yet again. But this time, I didn’t stop him.

He unbuttoned his pants and I pulled them down with his underwear, I stared at his cock, it was hard and standing at attention. I could tell he was as ready as I was. He leaned down to kiss me and I accepted, I felt my hard nipples against his warm chest. My hands explored every inch of his toned body, and as he lowered his lips to my breasts I could feel myself getting wetter.

“Spence..” I moaned.

“Hmm?” He said against my collar bone.

“Touch me...” I said breathlessly.

He smirked and kneeled on the floor by the bed, he pulled my legs apart, and the mere touch of him felt like electricity pulsing through me.

He kissed up my thighs, and I could feel my breath growing faster, “Spence, stop teasing.” I insisted. He sucked my clit immediately after I spoke and I gasped, I didn’t expect him to listen to me. But he made me feel magical. He was only a few seconds in and I never wanted him to stop. I tangled my fingers in his hair and his hand reached up to massage my breast.

“Spencer...” I moaned out.

He slipped two of his fingers into me, and I felt them curl against my g-spot. I gasped and held my breath, something I did a lot when I wanted to stay quiet.

“You don’t have to hold back for me, Y/N.” He said, and I felt his breath against my labia.

He returned to my clit and started working my g-spot harder, I felt my volume increasing, my groans and moans filled the room, “Spencer I-I’m gonna cum! Ah! I’m gonna cum!” I cried.

He increased the speed at which he tasted my clit and I released, letting out a loud groan as I did so, and he pulled out his fingers but continued to taste me as I rode out my high.

He got up and sucked my juices off of his fingers.

“Your turn...” I said as I tried to catch my breath.

#spencer reid #dr spencer reid #smut #lemon #drabble #criminal minds #matthew gray gubler #fluff #x reader #xreader

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musicforfour · 3 years

Audio

The Monkey and the Onion, arranged for SATB Music by Graham Gouldman (10cc) Lyrics by Tim Rice I’m trying to remember how I first knew about Tim Rice. It’s probably from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musicals. I think when I first discovered Musical Theatre, I started with the very big and well known ones, so Lloyd Webber musicals came in quite early on. But I probably found out about Tim Rice when I’m way more deep into Musical Theatre when I started to figure out who were the people behind these musicals that wrote the music, the lyrics, and the book.

I find that Tim Rice is a unique figure in the world of Musical Theatre. He didn’t really start out with a background in Musical Theatre, unlike Andrew Lloyd Webber who was obsessed with the art form from the get go. In fact Tim was more into the pop records (rock and roll even, dare I say) and the current popular music scene. So he had been writing pop songs on his own before he met Andrew to start writing musicals with him.

Besides their first musical which never really got put on until many many years later, they went on to create these classic sung through musicals like Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Jesus Christ Superstar, and Evita. Tim continued to write other musicals after the two went their separate ways. He wrote Blondel with Stephen Oliver, Chess (God I love Chess) with Benny Andresson and Björn Ulvaeus of ABBA (yes, The ABBA), some Disney musicals with Elton John and Alan Menken, and most recently From Here to Eternity with Stuart Brayson.

I think that Tim is unique in Musical Theatre in at least two ways. First is that he came up with these unlikely ideas for musicals, and they may seem odd at first, but he has a way to build a story and a way with words to actually make these weird ideas for musicals work. He is probably the only writer of musicals that is known for writing musicals about biblical stories. He even wrote one with Alan Menken about King David, which I hope it gets produced more often so maybe one day I can watch it in full. One more thing about Tim’s musicals is that he brought back the sung through musicals, like opera but with cooler music. It’s kinda funny that this happened only because he tried to keep the musicals short, like Joseph was first performed in a school concert or Jesus Christ Superstar was first recorded to fit the vinyl album. So yeah, I’ve spent the last four paragraphs explaining why I’m kinda obsessed with Tim Rice, just so I can say that I’ve been listening to his podcast “Get Onto My Cloud”. He started the podcast when the world stopped due to the pandemic in 2020, and he featured so many good background stories about his musicals and/or his songs for the episodes. So there’s this one episode about some one-off pop songs that he wrote, and he featured one of his songs titled The Monkey and the Onion for the English band 10cc. I think when I first heard the title, I wasn’t sure that I heard it right so I rewind it, but I did hear it right. And it was quite a cool song with, dare I say, philosophical lyrics that got to me.

So this song stayed in the back of my mind for awhile, and I have been looking for another song to arrange. I had wanted to do a song by Tim Rice, but I wanted to do something of his that wasn’t so obvious. I had thought maybe I was gonna do something from King David, but I had arranged Alan Menken’s music so I wasn’t really feeling it. So when I remembered about The Monkey and the Onion, I thought it’s now or never and I set out to arrange it.

The original recording of the song has this build up using instruments added on top of other instruments, so when I was arranging I realized I could never match what the original recording was doing ‘cause I was just using four voices. So I had to come up with other kinds of variations to keep the song going. Sometimes I used inversions of the chords for similar passages of music. I gave the melody to different sections (but not the Bass, sorry Basses). At one point I made the sections sing unison, and another point almost at the end I had just one section sing alone.

I also found this plug-in for Musescore that checks for parallel fifths and octaves, so I started to use this to check my arrangement. I knew from the start that writing parallel fifths and octaves is not quite acceptable for four part writing, but I only recently started to see why it’s bad. (Warning, mansplaining ahead) Basically writing parallels fifth and octaves make the parts sound unified, such that the four parts aren’t really four parts since one part is unified with another part when they have parallel fifths or octaves.

I quite like the sound of two notes that are fifth apart, and I’m sure I’ve written a lot of parallel fifths without me knowing. It has this strong solid sound, and I remembered hearing it and really feeling it when I arranged for the first time. But now that I think about it, that time when I tried to arrange Sondheim, I think I wrote way too many parallel fifths that eventually it sounded too full and I couldn’t really go on with the same sound for the next verses. It’s kinda like eating a dessert cake that is way too rich and heavy, that you probably have enough before you finish a slice.

So yeah, besides some parts where the sections sing in unison, I made sure that the four parts for my arrangement this time didn’t have any parallel fifths or octaves. I think each part sounded more clear and I intentionally had some parallel octaves like I bolded some words or underlined a phrase that I wanted to highlight. I like some of the chords that I found for this arrangement, and all in all I’m pretty happy to have found out about this song and to have shared this song by arranging it. Tim Rice’s Podcast “Get Onto My Cloud”, Episode 25 “One-Offs”: https://cms.megaphone.fm/channel/getontomycloud?selected=BPNET1445446315 Link to score: https://musescore.com/user/4177086/scores/6771052

#10cc #The Monkey and the Onion #Tim Rice

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ktrsss1fics · 7 years

Text

Cake By The Ocean: One

The employees of the law offices of Corningstone & Wallace are given two weeks paid vacation every year. The magic of last year’s trip had erased the memory of any other vacation from Georgina Ferguson’s mind. Roaming Aruban beaches with pineapples full of rum and making out with a cute Irish boy had ignited a spark that she had never felt before. From that moment on, she was a changed woman. She could parallel park on the busy street where her favorite ice cream shop was located. She was eating more leafy green vegetables. She could bake a Dutch apple pie from scratch. She even bought a new bike for the beach. However, the biggest change to Georgina’s life was the fact that she was head over heels in love with Niall Horan.

The love she received was unlike anything she had ever experienced. Growing up, she had read plenty of stories where men showcased their love. Paris’ love caused a war. Orpheus’ took him to hell and back. Alcyone’s went to his head. Zeus’ created a trail of broken hearts.

But this wasn’t a mythological tale, this was real life. Niall’s love was different. His love was real. It was warm and kind and invigorating. His love made her believe in the future for the first time. His love made her realize she wasn’t broken. She was able to love. His love was the best thing that had ever happened to her.

But as of lately, that love had been neglected. He had been busy touring the globe. She had been busy saving the firm. Their phone calls were short. Their text messages were even shorter. She had been counting down the hours until she got to see him again.

Lucky for her, the countdown had made it’s way down to seven. In seven whole hours, she’d get to see the smiling face of her loving boyfriend. In seven whole hours, she’d get to hear his laugh and watch him reconnect with the rest of their friends. In seven whole hours, she’d have to pretend the boy she was in love with was just a boy that she could tolerate. In seven hours, she’d get to see him but only as a friend.

Why was that?

No one knew they were together. They had successfully kept it a secret for the past seven months. The only way they were able to last so long was the fact that he was gone for most of it. The two week trip to Greece they were about to embark on was going to put their relationship to the test. It would prove whether or not they were made to last. Having to share a house with eight of their closest friends while being in a secret relationship was going to be the ultimate test.

Their relationship status had caused plenty of arguments in the past couple weeks. From the moment he left for tour, they had gone back and forth. She didn’t want to tell anyone because she was worried she wasn’t ready to be someone’s girlfriend. Yes, they were official but Niall was the only one who knew. She was safe in this bubble, where outside eyes couldn’t harm her. What if their friends found out and things fizzled out? She’d never forgive herself. It took a few months of being on her own for her to realize that she was being ridiculous. She loved Niall and he loved her. Nothing was going to happen to them – no matter who found out. Just as fate would have it, the moment she switched teams, Niall switched too. He didn’t want anyone to know. He never told her why but he was adamant about keeping what they had a secret. He said she wouldn’t understand and that they needed to talk in person.

In seven hours, she was going to have that talk.

In the meantime, Georgina Ferguson sat on a sidewalk in the middle of a neighborhood in Mykonos while Jenna rambled on about the date she went on the night before with Stephen. She hadn’t been paying attention though. Her eyes were glued to her phone. It had been blowing up with reassuring texts from Niall since she got off the plane. Preflight jitters had gotten the best of her when she dropped Scout off at Keith’s cousin’s place so he had taken it upon himself to calm her down. For the most part, it had worked.

Another thing that helped cure her nerves was the blonde haired woman sitting beside her. Brittany knew something was bothering her but didn’t press the issue. Instead, she made sure that every preflight ritual was completed and that Georgina was given the seat by the window. She got them to the house in one piece. She put Georgina in charge of keeping an eye on the boys. They were picking up the keys to the house, the car Keith had rented, and something for the group to eat.

Brittany nudged Georgina’s leg, “Dave text back yet?”

“Should be here in fifteen minutes.” Georgina looked up. “Keith’s driving.”

“So it’ll be more like a half hour.” Jenna said making the others laugh.

Mags stretched out, leaning against her luggage. “Might as well work on our tans, ladies.”

“I hope this house is nice.” Jenna said rolling up the sleeves of her shirt.

“Neighborhood looks nice enough.” Brittany said looking around. “I think Keith did alright.”

“When are Ash and Marco getting in?” Mags asked looking up towards the sky.

“In a forty-five minutes, I think.” Georgina said.

“D’ya think they’ll actually want to spend time with us this trip?” Brittany asked.

“I’m surprised they were even invited.” Jenna said. “We never see them anymore.”

“I think the boys just wanted to be nice.” Mags shrugged.

“They’ll probably go out with us once and then stay in to shag for the rest of the trip.” Georgina said.

“You know what? That doesn’t sound half bad Ferguson. Maybe Jamie and I will do it.” Mags smirked glancing over at the blonde.

“Just keep him quiet.” Georgina fired back.

“It’s not him we have to worry about.” Jenna sniggered.

“So Jenna tell the girls how you gave Steve a blowie before he left yesterday.” Mags shot back.

“What the fuck!” Georgina squealed wide-eyed.

“Jenna! Skimping out on the details, are we?” Brittany teased.

“You bitch.” Jenna mumbled glaring at the older woman beside her.

“I’m not the one who had a stranger’s penis in my mouth less than twenty-four hours ago!” Mags said throwing her hands up dramatically.

“Margaret Fairchild! I swear to fucking God.” Jenna whined. “Stop picking on me.”

“Jens, I didn’t think you liked doing oral?” Georgina smirked. “Makes ya feel like a slag.”

“She was all about it last night.” Mags mumbled making Brittany laugh.

“Pick on Fergie instead!” Jenna said crossing her arms over her chest.

“Her time will come, my friend. Don’t worry.” Mags smiled.

“Looking forward to it, Margaret.” Georgina replied before focusing back on her phone.

“Can you check the group message to see when Ni’s getting in?” Brittany asked.

“Yeah,” Georgina said pretending to scan her inbox. She already had it memorized. “Uh says six.”

“Just in time for dinner.” Mags nodded. “Are we gonna go out tonight?”

“I’m up for it.” Jenna said.

“Want another stranger’s penis in your mouth?” Brittany joked making Mags snort.

Jenna’s entire body flushed red. “You three are such bitches.”

“You love us.” Mags said blowing her a kiss.

“So JenJen, you must be really feeling Steve then. You only do that when you are serious about someone.” Georgina said trying to salvage the conversation.

“Yeah well I was just uh reciprocating the love so to speak.” Jenna blushed.

“Oh yeah? Was he good at that?” Brittany asked.

“Better than the last one.” Jenna said.

“You lot have always been too hard on the Lizard King.” Georgina said making Brittany giggle. “At least he tried. That’s worth something.”

“Oh my god, Fergie!” Jenna squealed. “You didn’t experience it so you don’t know how fucking weird it was. No woman should ever go through that.”

“Marcus was always terrible at it so I wouldn’t know anything different.” Fergie shrugged.

“Dave’s decent. We save that stuff for special occasions though.” Brittany sighed.

“Doesn’t get a blowjob every day like our boy Chief Keef?” Jenna said dryly. “You know, I think Keith’s penis is the one penis I would never want in me mouth ever.”

The other three woman nodded in agreement.

“It’s got to be big, yeah? Or he’s got to be ace in the sack or something because the birds he pulls are way out of his league.” Georgina said putting her phone away.

“Let’s be real, I think the fact he resembles Ni helps him most days.” Jenna said.

“And there is no way he gets one every single day unless he is suckin’ himself off.” Mags said making the other girls cackle loudly.

“Every day is too much. David gets one on his birthday and our anniversary.” Brittany said. “That’s it.”

“And whenever Chelsea wins.” Georgina added.

“Jamie is the same. Birthday, Christmas, and our anniversary.” Mags explained.

“And whenever Chelsea beats Arsenal.” Georgina added.

“How do you know this?” Jenna asked confused.

“The fellas think I’m one of them.” Georgina shrugged. “They are a lot more open with each other than I thought they would be.”

“Do they talk about everything?” Mags asked sliding her sunnies down the bridge of her nose.

“Not when I’m around.” Georgina shook her head. “Your fiIthy little secrets are safe Margaret.”

“Good.” Mags winked before putting her glasses back into place.

“Ferg, we need to find you a Greek boy toy for the next two weeks.” Jenna said smugly. “Someone to have fun with.”

“Ehh, I’ll pass. Brought me vibrator. I’m set.” Georgina replied emotionless.

“Do you know what’s sad? I can never climax with one of those. I’ve got to sit through sex with James when I need to get off.” Mags admitted. “It’s dreadful sometimes — no offense to him.”

“This one’s the exact opposite.” Brittany said nodding towards her best friend.

“What!” Jenna and Mags said in unison.

Heat rushed to Georgina’s cheeks. “Never had one.”

“Marcus never—“ Mags trailed off.

“Always faked it.” Georgina sighed. “He really was a piece of shit at everything.”

“But you are twenty seven…” Jenna said wide-eyed. “A man’s never made you orgasm, really?”

Georgina shook her head trying not to act bothered by it. She knew it was a lie. Niall had proven that plenty of times before he left for tour.

“Georgina, that’s unacceptable.” Mags shook her head disappointed. “This has to change.”

“New goal of the trip: find someone to take Fergie to O-Town.” Jenna chimed in.

“Jens! I know the perfect person.” Mags smirked.

Jenna’s face lit up reading the older woman’s mind. “Oh I think I know who it is.”

“If Niall Horan’s name comes out of either of your mouths, I will suffocate you both in your sleep tonight.” Georgina glared playfully.

“Whoa! Cool the jets Fergie Ferg.” Jenna laughed.

“Babes, all we need to do is get a little bit of sangria into you and some whiskey into him, lock you in a room, and not let you out until you climax at least twice.” Mags said enthusiastically. “I’m sure Ni would be more than happy to help.”

“I reckon it wouldn’t take him long.” Jenna added. “I mean he’d be so into it he wouldn’t stop until you were able to finish more than once.”

“Exactly. Kid’s a perfectionist.” Mags nodded.

”Never quits. Be like a marathon shag session. You’d be taken care of, love.” Jenna chirped as Brittany linked her fingers with her best friend.

“You two are the worst.” Georgina blushed.

Brittany squeezed Fergie’s hand trying to show solidarity. Georgina appreciated the gesture.

“If you would have just made out with him in Vegas like we wanted, we would have moved on from this,” Mags said examining her nail beds.

“No you wouldn’t.” Georgina laughed loudly.

“Okay so maybe you’re right.” The older woman giggled. “I just can’t help it. You two would be perfect together.”

“Oh stop. We wouldn’t work out. We are both too stubborn and workaholics. And besides he doesn’t even like me like that.” Georgina blushed trying to find a way out of this conversation.

“That’s not what our group chat says.” Jenna replied smugly.

“Kid’s basically in love with ya, Ferg.” Mags smiled.

“He’d be a fool not to be.” Brittany said as she sat up. She focused on a car heading in their direction, “Looks like the boys are here.”

The group of women stood up and started putting their things together. As Keith pulled into the driveway, Georgina looked at her phone.

Only six hours and twenty-five minutes to go.

Six hours and twenty-five minutes.

She couldn’t wait.

The house Keith had picked was actually decent. It looked like it should be in a Bond film. The rooms were massive, the appliances were new, and a salt water pool took up most of the backyard. The best part was the view from the backyard. A group of bougainvillea trees framed the fence , which showcased a perfect view of the Mediterranean Sea. It was the prettiest sight she had seen since they landed.

Georgina’s room was on the first floor of the multi-tiered house. Niall’s room was a few doors down. Much like in Aruba, all the single members of the group were placed in one section of the house while the couples stayed in another. As unfair as it was, this time it worked in Georgina’s advantage. It would make her life a lot easier knowing that her best friend wouldn’t be snooping around.

As she unpacked her bag, she started to think of a way for her and Niall to spend time together. She knew it would either have to be after everyone went to sleep or before everyone woke up. There were two beds in each room so if they were careful a sleepover could take place. A nervous energy filled the pit of her stomach just thinking about it. She didn’t know if they could do this. She didn’t want to keep it a secret anymore.

Just when she was about to send a series of panicked texts in her boyfriend’s direction, a female with an American accent called out her name. Confused, the young Brit turned towards the door. Standing in the doorway in a low cut form-fitting sundress was a woman she had never seen before. Her hair was dark, her breasts were fake, and a different kind of smile was plastered across her face. She couldn’t quite tell what it meant but Georgina knew she didn’t trust it.

“Are you Fergie?” The woman said stepping inside the room.

“Ye-yeah.” Georgina stammered.

“Oh good! I’m Mar — short for Marlene. Keith said we were sharing a room.” The American giggled as she headed for the other bed in the room.

“What?” Georgina asked confused by her comment about Keith.

“Yeah, Keith said I was going to share a room with a girl named Fergie.” Mar explained sitting down on the bed. “Fergie. What’s that short for?”

Georgina tried to put the pieces together but she couldn’t. She didn’t know if it was nerves or lack of sleep but she didn’t get what was going on.

She closed her eyes. “Okay, wait so Keith said what now? What’s happening?”

The American laughed. “Oh my god! British people are so cute. I’m Mar short for Marlene. Ash and I work together. Keith invited me here.”

“He said the blonde named Jenna won’t share a room but the blonde named Fergie will.” Mar explained. “You’re the one who works a lot right? You probably just missed the message he sent.”

Georgina couldn’t believe what had come out of Mar’s mouth. Keith knew he would have had to get approval from the entire group before inviting a complete stranger. He knew that. Mags and Britt created that rule ages ago. Everyone was overprotective of Niall and wanted him to have the chance at a normal life — especially on vacation. The fact that he had done it anyways blew Georgina’s mind.

“So you work with Ashlee and Keith invited you. Got it.” Georgina faked a smile.

“He said everyone was excited for me to join.” Mar said—the smile from earlier appeared. “Uh so Fergs, when’s the blonde one showing up?”

“Who?” Georgina asked confused. The group was made up of a handful of blondes. She could have been referring to anybody.

“Oh yeah, I guess he’s not blonde anymore. He was the last time we were together.” Mar said correcting herself.

Georgina’s face fell. That smile. That’s what it meant. This girl wasn’t here to be another one of Keith’s conquests; she was here to be one of Niall’s. The thought of this girl flying across the world to try to hook up with her best friend because he was famous made her blood boil.

“So is he still single?” Mar asked, a hopeful tone to her voice.

“Um Ash can fill you in.” Georgina said before heading for the door. “I need to go take care of something.”

With that, the blonde haired woman was gone. Her fingers were flying across the screen of her phone as she sent a message to Ni trying to explain what was happening but the rage building inside her was making her thoughts incoherent.

She knew this trip was going to be frustrating for her but she didn’t expect it to start this early. She made her way through the house looking for one specific man. She found him drinking a beer in the kitchen with David and Jamie.

“Oi! Miller!” Georgina called out from across the room.

“Hey Ferg.” Keith said raising his bottle towards her.

The other two men studied her face as she drew near. It was obvious that she was less than pleased. Jamie took a step away from Keith knowing something was about to go down.

“Mate.” Dave sighed. “What’d you do now?”

“Honestly don’t know.” Keith mumbled. “But I reckon I’m about to find out.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Georgina said once she made it over to the group of men.

“Um, Keith Miller?” He replied somewhat unsure of his answer.

“First of all, you can’t just invite people without asking the entire group if it’s okay.” She said crossing her arms over her chest. “And second, you can’t just give people’s rooms away. That’s bull shit.”

“Georgie, what’s going on?” Dave asked.

“Keith is more concerned with getting his dick wet than he is about anyone else this trip.” Georgina grumbled.

“Babes, it’s not like that.” Keith said moving towards her. “I promise.”

“Don’t.” She replied causing him to move back to his spot.

“Ferg, I promise that’s not what is going on.” Keith said trying to convincing.

“That’s not what fake tits over there is saying.” Georgina glared. “Apparently everyone is excited for her to be here and I must I missed the messages where she got invited because I work too much. Sound familiar?”

“Who ya talking about Ferg?” Dave asked placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Me, probably.” Mar’s American accent called out from behind them.

Their attention was now focused on the black haired woman standing near the doorway.

“Who the fuck is that?” Jamie whispered to Georgina.

“Mar. Short for Marlene. Works with Ash and was invited by this prick.” Georgina rattled off. “Oh I almost forgot, she’s apparently my roommate for the duration of this trip.”

“Mate.” Jamie sighed shaking his head at Keith.

“Honestly thought it would be a good idea.” Keith said sheepishly. “I should have planned this better.”

“I’m not sharing a room with her.” Georgina said defiantly.

“Okay well we’ll figure something out.” Dave said rubbing her back. “Don’t worry G.”

“There aren’t any rooms left.” Jamie said. “Are there?”

“I can take this one’s room and he can sleep on the couch.” Georgina nodded at Keith.

“But what if I pull? I need a room. Can’t shag someone on a couch.” Keith said — a hint of desperation in his voice.

“I mean Mar’s got an extra bed for ya in her room. You want to shag her there?” Georgina said dryly.

“Funny.” Keith said with a fake laugh.

“Honestly, that’s what should happen.” Jamie said. “Either she stays with Keith or the couch.”

“She can’t have the couch.” Dave said quietly.

Georgina shot the boy a funny look. She had her reasons for not wanting this stranger to sleep on the couch but she didn’t know why David would.

He cleared his throat, “Keith fucked up. He should be the one to suffer.”

Georgina agreed with Dave’s statement but sensed he was hiding something.

“She knows Ash. She could stay with her.” Georgina suggested.

“Ash and Marco are staying together. I’d prefer to stay away from that.” Mar stated.

Georgina rolled her eyes making Jamie laugh.

“Is she paying for a room?” Dave asked nodding to Mar.

“Well — you see…” Keith started to say.

“You were doing so well, brother.” Jamie said patting Keith on the back. “But you fucked up major with this one.”

“So you are telling me you invited this woman without proper approval, decided sticking her in with me was the best option when she didn’t want to sleep with you, and you aren’t making her pay for any of it?” Georgina asked with an incredulous look on her face. “How fucking magical is that fanny of hers?”

Jamie and Dave tried their best to keep a straight face but the pure disgust in Georgina’s voice sent them into a fit of laughter.

“You’re a legend.” Dave said squeezing her shoulder.

“Thanks.” She smiled before focusing her attention back to Keith. “How are we going to fix this mess?”

“I don’t know. Jenna won’t share. I’m not interested in sharing. So either someone sleeps on the couch or you share.” Keith said trying to think of another way he could make up for his mistake.

“Ferg can stay with Niall. He’s got two beds in his room and I’m sure he won’t mind.” Dave suggested.

Georgina’s skin grew warm. Her eyes focused on Dave’s face but he wouldn’t look at her. She knew exactly what he was trying to do but didn’t know why.

“She’d strangle him in his sleep.” Keith laughed.

“Not true, they’ve been playing nice lately.” Dave said sticking up for his best friends.

“And honestly, if we want to keep the peace those two are our ticket.” Jamie said thinking about it logically.

“I don’t want to share with Ni.” Georgina sighed. “If I’m paying for my room, I shouldn’t have to share. He shouldn’t either.”

“If it’s an option, I’ll share with Niall.” Mar chirped happily.

Georgina felt a wave of anger wash over her. This was not happening. The woman who flew all the way across the ocean to sleep with her boyfriend did not just suggest sharing the same room with him. She needed to keep her cool but didn’t know how. Dave’s grip on her shoulder grew a little tighter. As much as she wanted to keep her eyes focused on the floor, she couldn’t.

When she looked up at Dave, he gave her a sympathetic look. He didn’t know they were together but he had a feeling they were something. His girlfriend may have told him not to meddle but he couldn’t help it. He’d damned if a random woman was going to come in and steal Georgina Ferguson’s thunder. He knew she needed this – now more than ever.

Dave pulled his eyes off of Georgina and placed them on the stranger across the room, “Yeah that’s not happening.”

“It’s either Ferg or no one, sorry.” Jamie said feigning sympathy.

“I think the group should decide if it’s okay for them to share.” Keith said softly. “Right?”

Georgina rolled her eyes. “So me sharing a room with Ni deserves a meeting but you inviting a stranger doesn’t. Sounds real fair.”

“Fergs, I—“ Keith started to say but the frustrated young woman cut him off.

“If I wanted to deal with dumb shit, I would have stayed home. This is why you’re never in charge of things, Keith.” Georgina grumbled before pulling away from Dave and leaving the kitchen.

She repacked her bags and placed them in the hallway before making her way outside. Jenna and the girls were sitting around a table looking out into the horizon. A quiet conversation about a trip to a winery was being held as Georgina plopped down in the empty seat beside Brittany.

“For fucks sake Georgina, we’ve only been here five minutes. Cheer up.” Mags teased noticing the young woman’s sour mood.

“I’m going back home.” Georgina replied annoyed.

“Hey, I was only joking.” Mags said realizing something serious was going on.

“What’s wrong?” Brittany asked.

“Don’t have a room.” Georgina mumbled as she noticed Mar heading their way.

“Yes you do. We made sure there was enough.” Jenna said confused. “I watched Keith book it.”

“Didn’t take into account that Keith’s a fucking idiot that does whatever the hell he wants.” Georgina mumbled.

“Okay Ferg, I know you like being mysterious and all but like what the hell are you on about?” Jenna asked worried by her friends mood.

“Ferg!” Mar called out for sliding into the last empty seat around the table.

“Who’s that?” Jenna whispered to Mags.

“Where’s Ash?” Georgina asked quietly.

“On the phone with her brother.” Mar said. “I hope you don’t mind me hanging around.”

Georgina didn’t get a chance to respond. A devilish smirk formed on the American woman’s face before two simple sentences escaped her lips.

“You know I totally don’t get why you don’t want to share a room with Niall. I mean, yeah, he might snore a bit too much when he’s drunk but you know that’s just Niall.” Mar stated.

Jenna looked over to Mags and Brittany trying to see if they were just as confused as she was. The woman didn’t look familiar but she acted like she was.

“How long have you girls known him?” Mar asked leaning back in her chair.

“Hi, um who are you again?” Jenna asked looking the woman up and down.

“Oi Mel! Err I mean Mar.” Dave called out walking towards the group of women with glasses of wine in his hands. “Ash is lookin for ya. Something about needing help with an outfit or something.”

“Probably a bikini question.” Mar smiled before getting up. “I’ll have to catch up with you girls later.”

“Great.” Georgina replied dryly as she watched the American walk away.

When Dave reached the table, Jenna eagerly grabbed a glass and took a long sip.

“Okay, what the fuck was that about?” Mags asked turning her attention towards Georgina.

“David, just bring us the bottle.” Brittany said taking one of the glasses from him. “We are going to need it.”

“Okay babe.” Dave said before heading back inside.

“She fucked Niall.” Georgina said slowly putting the pieces together. “Or at least that’s what she wants us to think. I don’t know.”

“That makes sense. I mean, how else would she know he snores when he’s drunk?” Brittany said.

“Yeah I guess that’s true.” Jenna asked.

“He’s grown up in the spotlight so I’m sure a lot of people feel like they know him.” Mags pointed out. “He was plastered on every form of media since he was sixteen. It’s hard to miss him.”

Georgina shook her head, “She seemed like she wanted it known that she knows him on a more personal level.”

“How personal can it really be? I’ve never seen her before and we’ve been friends with him for years.” Jenna said.

“So, who is she then?” Brittany asked.

“She works with Ash. Keith invited her thinking she’d be down to be his little vacation fling.” Georgina explained. “But he didn’t take into account that Ni was going to be here and she knows him somehow.”

“Why would Keith invite someone without checking with the group first?” Mags asked.

“Because he wanted to get laid.” Georgina sighed.

“Is she the reason you don’t have a room?” Brittany asked sounding annoyed.

“He thought I’d be fine with sharing with her.” Georgina said taking a hold of the glass Dave had set down. “Didn’t ask if it was okay. Just did it.”

“That’s bullshit.” Mags said before taking drink of her wineglass. “Absolute bullshit.”

“I know.” Georgina sighed before taking a drink.

“We’ll get it sorted.” Britt smiled weakly. “Don’t worry G.”

“But first, let’s see who this girl is.” Jenna said pulling out her phone.

The next few hours were spent scouring the internet for anything they could find on the dark-haired stranger. Georgina Ferguson was nearly 100% certain that at one point in time Mar slept with Niall. The others weren’t too sure. They had been around Niall long enough to know that his fame attracted the wrong type of women. Those type of women would do anything for their fifteen minutes of fame. Mar seemed the type.

Brittany wanted it to be a lie for her best friend’s benefit. She knew Georgina had some sort of feelings for the man she once hated. She was hoping that this trip to Greece would help push her realize that being with Niall was the right direction – much like their time in Aruba had started to do. She didn’t like the idea of some random woman coming in and trying to ruin that. She knew she needed to find a way to keep Mar away from Niall for Georgina’s sake.

Brittany just didn’t know how she was going to accomplish that.

When asked if he was sad tour was coming to an end, Niall Horan would nod and formulate the perfect soundbite about wanting to continue touring for the rest of the year to give all of his fans a chance to see him perform. His dedication would be commended and another person would sing their praise about what a great artist he was.

But deep down, he knew he was lying.

He wanted to go home. He wanted to cuddle on the couch with his dog. He wanted to go to the pub with his mates and act like an idiot. Most of all, he wanted to be with his girlfriend.

The past three weeks had been the toughest three weeks he’d experienced in his solo career. The shows weren’t grueling. The interviews weren’t demanding. He just missed Georgina that much. The moment they shared in London during the holidays hung heavy on his heart. She was in love with him. She was in love with a whiskey drinking foul mouthed workaholic who spent more time on the road than in his actual house and he couldn’t believe it. She was in love with someone who couldn’t give her a proper relationship. He could count on one hand the amount of times they saw each other while he was away. She deserved so much better.

If anyone close to him asked if he was ready for tour to end, he’d say yes. He was ready to sleep in until noon and golf whenever he pleased. He was ready to not have something scheduled every second of his day. He was ready to relax. In fact, he had been counting down the hours until that flight to Greece.

When he woke up that morning, he had received a series of texts from Georgina. She was nervous. She was nervous about leaving Scout, getting on the plane, and that they wouldn’t be able to keep their relationship a secret once they were with their friends.

He had to admit he was nervous too. He was nervous about seeing her again. He was nervous that things wouldn’t be the same. He was nervous that his time apart caused their spark to fizzle out. He was nervous for the trip because it was their first trip as a couple and he didn’t know what to expect. He knew that he was being ridiculous. He knew the moment saw her face all his worries would go away. He knew he just needed to get on that flight. At the end of it, s bottle of beer and a kiss from a pretty girl had his name written all over it.

It was half past seven when Niall landed in Mykonos. His connecting flight had been delayed. Niall attempted to call Georgina when he found out the news but when he reached for his phone it was dead. He knew she’d be annoyed with him but once he told her that he had drained the battery watching all the videos of her and Scout he had saved on his phone, he figured he’d be met with heart eyes instead of one’s filled with anger.

By the time he got to the house, his nerves had completely disappeared. He was ready to relax for the next two weeks with some of closest friends. When he walked inside, he was met by the smell of David’s infamous fajitas and an old Bruce Springsteen track. He dropped his luggage by the door and headed for the kitchen.

“Nialler!” Jamie cheered from the stove top as he noticed the Irishman from across the room. He was making a pot of Spanish rice.

“Aren’t makin’ that too spicy, are ya Jim Jam?” Niall asked walking over to give his friend a hug.

“Fuck your reflux.” Jamie rolled his eyes dramatically. Niall laughed as his friend continued to speak, “Fergs already made ya some bland boring ass rice.”

Niall didn’t get a chance to respond. A damp kitchen towel whipped across the back of his neck. The Irishman turned around cautiously. Standing with a beer in hand was his best friend. Niall’s smile grew in size as the tall Brit pulled him into a hug. Dave handed over a drink before leaning against the fridge.

“Thanks for checking in you twat.” Dave said dryly.

“Me phone died.” Niall said pulling his keys out to open his beer.

David leaned in close, “There’s trouble in the Hen House.”

Niall’s brow furrowed, “What happened?”

Before Dave got the chance to explain, someone interrupted. A hand patted Dave’s stomach as they tried to get into the fridge but he couldn’t move. The kitchen was too small.

“Davey, get me a beer please.” Georgina said softly.

The sound of her voice sent shock waves through his body. Niall couldn’t believe it. This was the moment he’d been waiting for. He didn’t think it was possible but the smile on his face grew even bigger. He turned around to find irritation chiseled into the features of his girlfriend.

“Hey Ferg!” Niall said sweetly.

Georgina faked a smile as she grabbed the bottle of beer from Dave’s hand. She took a quick swig before looking between the boys.

“Did Davey tell you that Keith brought ya a toy to play with?” Georgina asked with a hint of disgust in her voice.

Niall looked up at David completely confused. When he turned to ask Georgina what she meant, she wasn’t there. She was making her way for the backyard. Without a second thought, he chased after her.

Georgina stopped a few feet from the door and waited for him.

“Babe, what’s going on?” He asked keeping his voice low.

She sighed, “Well—“

An ear-piercing shriek sounded from across the yard catching the couple’s attention. Ashlee was sitting on a pool lounger with another woman. Her face looked familiar. He had seen her around but he couldn’t quite place it.

“Oh my god, Ni!” The woman squealed, popping up from her spot. “You’re finally here.”

Their eyes locked. He knew exactly who she was. Marlene. Niall’s body stiffened as she made her way around the pool towards him.

“Fuck.” He sighed. He placed his hands on his hips and turned towards Georgina.

The young blonde just shook her head. Her face had said everything. She was upset.

“Ferg.” He whispered.

“I’m gonna go get ready for dinner.” Georgina mumbled. She watched Mar grow near. She nodded over to the dark haired woman. “Have fun with that.”

“Babe.” Niall said reaching out to keep his girlfriend from leaving but she had already slipped past him.

“Niall!” Mar said with an irreplaceable grin. “How have you been?”

“Hey Mar.” He replied with a clenched jaw.

Mar rubbed up against before forcing him into her embrace. “It’s been ages. Congrats on the solo stuff.”

“Thanks.” Niall laughed nervously as he patted her on the back.

Mar’s arms lingered on his body as he tried to pull away. Her touch was aggressive and deliberate. He didn’t like it. Once he was released from her grip, Niall stepped away putting some space in between them. She ruffled her hair before adjusting her dress.

“When Keith first asked me to come, I was a bit hesitant.” Mar said looking up at him. Her index finger poked his stomach playfully. “But then I found you’d be here and I just had to come.”

“Oh yeah?” Niall said pressing his beer bottle to his lips. “How do you know Keith?”

“Same way I know you.” She winked.

A shiver ran down his spine. The thought of him sleeping with the same woman as Keith made him cringe. He took long sip of his drink trying to find a way out of his conversation.

“I didn’t know that you knew Ashlee and Marco too.” She said ruffling her hair once more. “They don’t mention you that much.”

“We’ve been friends for a few years now.” Niall said with a polite smile.

“Ash and I work together. That’s how I met Keith.” Mar explained. “But enough about me, let’s talk about you. How are Harry and the boys? Still keep in touch with them?”

Niall nodded, “They are all doing good. Just uh enjoying life and being solo. Nothing really new.”

“Good, good.” Mar said. “Hey quick question, is that uh Fergie girl a bit you know — not all there?”

Niall looked surprised. “What? Why?”

“Well Keith said she and I were sharing a room and I had to like explain it to her a couple times.” Mar laughed. “And she hasn’t talked much since she’s been here.”

Niall just nodded. Georgina’s mood was slowly starting to make sense. He didn’t quite understand what Mar’s comment meant but he knew David would. He needed to find him.

“She’s probably just still in work mode.” Niall replied before clearing his throat. “Mar, it’s been great seeing you but I promised Dave I’d help him season his meat. I’ll see you later.”

“Oh okay.” Mar smiled. “I’ll see you in there then.”

When Niall stepped back inside, he headed straight for the kitchen. He needed answers. The man he came to see was standing in front of the stove with a towel draped across his shoulder. He was tending to a large pan that was filled with sizzling peppers and onions.

Niall leaned against the counter. He finished off his beer in two long gulps. He set the bottle on the counter before crossing his arms over his chest.

“Am I living in a fucking alternate universe, Watson?” Niall asked.

“Tried to warn ya, Sherlock.” Dave laughed.

“Fuck, dude.” Niall sighed.

“I know.” Dave said glancing at him. “It sucks but it’s gonna be okay.”

“Fergie’s pissed.” Niall said running a hand through his hair.

“They all are.” Dave said stirring the vegetables in his pan. “But it’s not at you, it’s more at Keith and Mar.”

“No. Fergie’s mad at me. I saw it on her face.” Niall sighed.

“Well, can you see why she’d be a bit upset?” Dave asked focusing on his food. “I mean Mar’s been running her mouth about ya since she got here.”

Niall’s eye shut tight as a sigh escaped from deep within. He pinched the bridge of his nose, “Really?”

“Something along the lines of braggin’ about sleepin’ with ya.” Dave replied.

“Shit.” Niall groaned.

“It’s going to be okay. I was around during the Marcus days. I know how to fix it.” Dave said calmly. “When she found out the rumors were true, she had a complete meltdown. Tried to change everything about herself to compete with the other women.”

“Is that why she’s in this mood? Because she thinks she has to compete with Mar.” Niall said lowly.

“Don’t know mate but what I do know is that you just need to remind her that you are interested in her and only her.” Dave said.

“You think so?” Niall asked.

Dave nodded, “Women need reassurance sometimes.”

“Okay.” Niall mumbled dryly. “Should be easy enough except for the fact she won’t talk to me.”

“That won’t last long.” Dave laughed as he turned off the burner. “Hand me that dish.”

Niall handed him an empty bowl, “Why’s that?”

“You two are sharing a room.” Dave smirked as he drained the contents of the pan into the bowl.

“What!” The Irishman said in disbelief.

“You’re welcome.” Dave winked as he started to cut up the meat he had grilled.

“How’d that work out?” Niall asked.

“Keith gave her room away so I figured if anyone is gonna share it should be the two of you.” Dave shrugged.

Niall just nodded. He figured that Keith’s decision played a tiny part in Georgina’s mood. Sharing a room was sure to remedy that real quick. He started to think of a way to fix things.

“Look Ni, I don’t know what’s going on between ya but you both are actually happy and I’m happy to see it.” Dave said with a genuine smile. “If you ever need me to sub in and help out, I’m game.”

“I appreciate it brother.” Niall smiled as he patted David on the back.

“Now since you were late, you have dish duty when we are finished.” Dave said as Niall opened the fridge.

“That’s just fine with me.” He said grabbing two bottles of beer.

Dinner came and went. The entire meal was spent planning out the next day’s activities. After much debate, they decided on sightseeing. An old church was brought up as well as a few sites that held ancient ruins. Niall didn’t care what they did. He was too busy trying to think of a way to get his girlfriend to talk to him. He cracked a few jokes, addressed her directly, and even took to staring at her for five minutes straight but she never gave in. Georgina Ferguson was one stubborn woman. He knew he was in for a hell of a night.

After they ate, Niall washed the dishes while the rest of the group retreated to different parts of the house. A few people headed out to the pool. A couple others popped in a film. A certain woman headed straight to bed. Once the dishes were dried, he knew exactly where he needed to be.

When he got to their room, it was quiet. He closed the door behind him mentally rehearsing the apology he had planned. But once he saw her, his mind went blank. He found her in the bathroom drying her hair. He leaned against the door frame waiting for her to finish.

He had missed this. He had missed watching her get ready for work in the morning. He missed making dinner for her when she got home. He missed lounging on the couch as they caught up on the tv shows she liked to watch.

He missed just being with her.

The dryer turned off snapping him out of his dream. A faint smile formed on Niall’s face as he watched her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes looked sad.

“What’s wrong?” He asked gently.

Georgina spun around quickly. Her eyes grew colder as a frown formed across her lips. “You fucked her.”

Niall sighed. “Babe—“

She pressed her index finger into his chest. “You fucked her. All the others kept saying she was lying and that it wasn’t true but I could tell. I could tell because she had that little twinkle in her eye.”

“Baby.” He said stepping towards her.

“And Brittany has told me about all the other women you’ve been with and they all look like her and none of them look like me.” She rambled nervously. “Is that what you like? Is that what turns you on? Because if so, I don’t know why we are still together.”

Niall reached out and cupped her face with his hands. “Georgina, breathe.”

She attempted to continue her anxious ramble but he stopped her. His thumb stroked her cheek as he looked deep into her eyes.

“I love you. I want to be with you. I don’t want or need anybody else.” He said calmly. “I want you.”

“But she—“ Georgina mumbled.

“Fuck what she said.” Niall said annoyed. “I slept with her one time when I was drunk and I’ve regretted it to this day.”

“Harry’s friend invited us to this party in Malibu. I didn’t want to go so I invited Davey to come along and we got absolutely obliterated.” He explained. “I woke up the next morning in some random girl’s bed. I felt horrible for it. I’m not that person.”

Georgina placed her hands on her hips. “Okay.”

Niall removed his hands and placed them on top of hers. “Don’t sound too convinced there Ferguson.”

“She just made it seem like you had some raunchy sexual relationship.” Georgina explained.

“That’s just how she is.” Niall sighed. “I asked her how she knew Keith and you know what she said?”

She shook her head.

“She said verbatim,” he said before putting on an American accent, “Same way I know you.”

Georgina cringed. “Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.”

He rubbed her hips with his thumbs. “Exactly.”

“I don’t want to picture them having sex.” She said closing her eyes making him laugh.

“See, Baby? That’s just her. She is all about shock value.” He smiled. “You— you have nothing to worry about.”

“Yeah I do.” She said quietly.

“What do you have to worry about Georgina?” He asked pulling her towards him.

She opened her eyes as tears began to form. “I can’t hold your hand in public. I can’t sit on your lap when I’m tired or too drunk. I can’t tell my best friends that I’m having the best sex I’ve ever had in me entire life and that I’ve actually had an orgasm.”

“Best sex you ever had?” He asked surprised.

The blonde haired woman nodded with a shy smile.

Niall looked impressed with himself. “I’ll take that.”

“Here she is running around telling everyone how she’s slept with the Niall Horan and I’ve just got to sit tight and bare it.” She said. “It’s just too much.”

“Baby, I promise we will tell them soon.” Niall said softly. “I just need more time.”

“But for what though?” She asked — sounding hurt. “How much more time do you need?”

“It’s just—“ He said before letting out a frustrated groan. “If we tell one person then eventually the entire world will find out and I’m not ready for that. We’re not ready for that. Everything will change.”

“Our friends wouldn’t do that to us.” Georgina said.

“Most of them wouldn’t.” Niall corrected.

“Fucking Keith.” She rolled her eyes.

“I just — I know what will happen if the public finds out. I’ve seen Tommo go through it. I’ve seen Liam go through it.” He said softly. He rested his forehead against hers, “I just need to protect you. For a little bit longer.”

“Fine.” She sighed dramatically.

“You’re a pain in the ass.” He mumbled playfully.

“Says the man who let his phone die when he’s traveling to another country.” She mumbled back.

“I’m sorry!” He said lifting his head back. “It was a good reason for it to die.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” Georgina asked with a bit of sass.

“I was too busy watching videos of me girls because I’ve missed them too fucking much.” He said in a matter of fact tone.

Her skin grew warm as a smile formed. “You missed me?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.” He sighed.

“I know.” She said draping her arms over his shoulders.

“How do you know?” He asked confused.

“Gerry texted me.” She explained. “He originally asked me if I could send Scoutie girl to you because he knew you were sad. But I told him I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to send pets through the post.”

Niall laughed. “He’s such an idiot.”

“Wait, it gets better. Then he asked if I’d send ya a pic of my tits because he knew that would cheer you up.” She smirked. “Pretty sure he just wanted to see my tits.”

“That’s our Gerry.” Niall shook his head. “I should’ve known better than to give him your number. He said he had a legal question.”

“He just cares about ya.” Georgina smiled. “Gotta look out for the boss man.”

Niall tried to fight the blush from forming but he couldn’t. It was refreshing to know how many people genuinely cared about his well being. After nearly a decade of chaos, he was finally in a good place. A good portion of that was due to the woman standing in front of him.

“I love you.” She whispered making his heart skip a beat. “A lot. And I’m sorry for being mean.”

“It’s understandable. I mean when I saw Marcus, I didn’t handle it too well.” He said.

“I was two seconds away from going McGregor on her.” Georgina admitted.

Niall laughed, “Why’s that?”

Georgina looked annoyed, “She kept going on about how ‘Slow Hands’ is about her!”

This made the young man laugh even harder. “No way in hell it’s about her. It’s about you.”

“How is it about me? We never–” She said not understanding what he meant.

“Do you know how many times I’ve pictured that scenario? Then last year when you made the joke I laughed it off but I can’t lie deep down I wished it would have happened.” He admitted.

“Well it almost did.” She blushed remembering that night in Aruba.

Niall pressed his hips against hers. He brought his hands up to face once more.

“I’m gonna kiss you now, okay? It’s been the only thing I’ve wanted to do since I got off the plane.” He whispered.

Without another word, the couple’s lips connected and every ounce of anxiety left the room. They were finally back together and it felt so good.

#one direction fan fiction #niall horan fanfiction #1dff #cbto #fergie and niall #niall fluff

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