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drawlody · 2 months

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My list of Adam ships♡ n my opinion bout them (also fics rec :D)

Adam x Luicfer (Adamsapple/Duitarduck) 10/10

Need i say more:)))??!?! started out as a "haha funny slip-up ship" to "hey they got really good angst potential". The friends/lovers to enemies to lovers is STRONG with this one n i am eating up everything i could found on ao3. Smth bout this macho-ass man finally getting to stay back n not take charge for once feel nice, also princess Adam supermacy wooooo. Whoever came up with the ship name i applaud u cause that's like a 3 layers name(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

It's not an Adamsapple fic without Adam having at least 1 mental breakdown n Lucifer have his guilt eating him alive:)))

Very fucked up torture but i swear it worth the pain:D The dove is so dead it start to rot so plz read the tags properly (plz check out the AngeliaDark other works too they got good shit)

This one have a splits so check out both the fics (beware the author have a skrewed sense of what is considered wholesome:))))

I didnt think a smut scene could be this sad

Adam x Lute (Guitarspear/Guardrock) 10/10

Litteraly my first Hazbin ship, assholes in love is an underrated dynamic we desperately need more off:))) That with a dash of evil dude x loyal subordinate (which i havent seen since the Deathglare days) n opposite attract (look they have one main thing in common is that their extreme bloodthirst, other than that she's stricter than ur mom n he's lazier than the Sloth ring itself but that the beauty of it no? He convince her to chill tf out n not to burst a blood vessel, she keep him on track n make sure Sera dont come on their asses)

They're just being silly enabling each other terrible behaviour n i love that for them (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) Litteral besties i tell ya

Heavy non-con shit involving Val but Lute will revenge our boi i promised u that

Cool idea n they r just made for each other damn

First hazbin fic i read which is a really cool smut:D

Adam x Micheal (we need a ship name people ) (update: it's Songbird/Guitarhero) 10/10

I like how we dont even got a proper comfirmation of Micheal design/personality yet the ship is here already ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ( im using the Nakariiale's design as a base here love their design)

Hit me with that rebound love x "u look like my ex so im using u as a replacement but ill fall for the real u eventually" x co-workers in heaven. I'm thinking smth along the line of "after Lucifer fucked off with Lilith, Micheal became Adam guardian angel n they just hang out" ya feel me here? (✿◕‿◕✿)

Shout out to Bloog_b for dragging me into this ship:DDD also im on the Adam x the archangels ship as a "gotcha" to Lucifer of sort. Like bitch u stole my wives imma steal your brotherS

Look it's Adamsapple endgame but trust me u will be feed well on this ( u know how good u gotta be for people to ditch the main ship?)

I'm giving yall 4 fics here cause i can only found 4 rn(._. )

this one is uhh non-con so beware

Micheal is indeed Adam guardian angel in this one:D

Adam x Eve (Flowertunes) 8/10

I dont care what yall said they love each other throughout Eden n Earth , might have a falling out in heaven but that doesnt change the fact that they were once IN LOVE. Honestly why cant we just have a couple that have the same bright-eyed innocence like one another.I refuse to believe Eve like willingly cheat on Adam with malicious intent n all, simply she was indeed ''tricked'' or just not fully understand the sistuation, n Adam love her way too much to think that she would do that to him like Lilith. Hell the dude was heartbroken after L left , starting the abandonment issues, so he would have cling to Eve, doing everything so that he aint alone again, even if that mean leaving Eden

Honestly it pisses me off that the Adam/Eve tag on ao3 most of the time is just 1 dialouge between them back when Eve bit the apple n thats it no elaboration on the couple whatsoever >:(((

Lots of switcharoos

sinner eve woooo

look its hard trynna find a fic focusing on them ok?

Adam x St. Peter (Guitargreeter (bet ya didnt see that coming:))) 7/10

Base on this fanfic alone Joe my dude u r on the path of becoming THE Adam crack-ship writer n i am here for this:)))) just so u wait this dude gonna whip out a AdamxNifty , AdamxHusk fic later on ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

From within the fic itself the ship its 2 bros in love with homophobia standing in the way >:( also when did we have a name?!?!?!?

I just like Adam x anyone in heaven alright:D like bro famous n he got that ancient rizz, u telling mr he cant bag a hottie or 2-100+ hmm?

Adam x Alastor (Angelicradio) 8/10

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ABOUT THEM THAT I SHIP I JUST DO φ(゜▽゜*)♪ i blame YOU honestly rn this ship is either Adam found Al after the fight n they make a deal or they're in heaven n they chillin this ship is confusing:D

They're angels on heaven

Adam gone back into eden n do shit differently

This is both Adam/Eve n Adam/Alastor kinda

Adam x Alastor x Lucifer (Angelicradioapple/ Charlie's dads (only me call them that lol)) 9/10

''Hey Charlie u know how u r sad that your mother left? Wellllllll i got you 2 new dads suprise:DDDD''

Look 3 miserable men who hate each other + hell's greatest dad + my love for Dadam = Messy ass old men yaoi :DDDD n it work perfectly with Alastor Asexuality too!!! Like Adam n Lucifer could fuck each other brains out before Al joining in for the cuddles lol

Chaos ensue

Not exactly a love triangle but a love corner but hey we barely got food here :D

I cant believe how hot this shit is lol

Adam x Eve x Lilith x Lucifer (Eden poly/ applecore?) 8/10

They could have been all married to each other(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ But as much as i go "OooOooo Poly yay'' i just cant vibe with EvexLucifer, like the cheating vibes is wayyyyyyyyy too much i just cant man . I mean with the interpetation that Lucifer came to Eden to hang out with the humans they all know eachother, they're a throuple yes but BUT when Eve came into the picture it was only with Adam n him only so the other 2 is ehhhh. Im fine with EvexLilith cause im seeing it happening later, not hidden from Adam while LuciferxEve got that deception going on .So uhhh in this ship they're more like bestie than lovers to me¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also AdamxLilith is an underrated pairing like everytime i saw this applecore thing going on these 2 r at most tolerate each other like cmonnnnn we already twist this to hell n back, why cant we make it so their arguement was a petty non-malicious one n they still cares for each other hmm???

They're one happy family

IDK what to tell u bittersweet reunion n loving family is the only typa fic u get with this ship

Not that im complaining i need this wholesomeness

Adam x Mammon (Adammon/Madam/Greedyguitar/ 1st chirstmas.... hasnt had an offical name yet) 10/10

They r litteraly same person different font idk what to tell u. More insults thrown around than Guitarspear but they're pretty similar. Adam is just " sinners suck ass but this dude is the worst in the best way". Also they're both big bois (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ , they love towering over others

I'm sorry but there r barely BARELY

any fics of them :(

The art side is more plentiful tho :D

Adam x Angel Dust (Holydust/guitardust) 5/10

THEY ARE BESTIES YOUR HONOUR n that the exact reason why i cant see them be together as a couple 100%, like the shit-talking bff vibes r wayyyy too strong XD Angel finally got someone who have the same vulgar humour as him n if Adam got married in hell Angel would 100% be his best bitch of honour (≧∀≦)ゞq(≧▽≦q)

They're best friends who have casual no-string attached sex that is ACTUALLY no-string attached:)))

I came to ship them due to those "What if they're co-workers under Val' scenarios ive been seeing on Tumblr

I got like 1 fic on ao3 i mean if u r looking for just platonic friendship between them then rest asure most Adam's redemption fics have that

I got 1 fic on tumblr

Adam x Charlie (Charadam/Guitarprincess) 5/10

U know this ship give me a pretty bad first impression since a good chunk of the fics r either heavy non-con shit or lean wayyyyy to much into the daddy kink, ya know how Charlie got suppose daddy issues n all that jazz?:))) yeah that... that

But after seeing the art side of this ship im chillin with them now, since the art r pretty wholesome, usually having them decked out in punk-rock clothings hanging out. It's a big "Fuck you" to Lucifer n i live for these mf argueing ╰(*°▽°*)╯

So uhhh stay away from the fics if ya want an actual functional couple instead of wtv messed up shit we got there:))) But here's a fic anyway, the only one where it feel bearable n actual trynna go into said messed up relationship i already warn you

We got cracks like Guitarmaid (AdamxNifty), Valadam (AdamxVal) which i dont have enough materials to decied, Classicalrock (AdamxSera) sound interesting but also havent found anything , Guitarhalo (AdamxEmily) is an unexpected find, find i deem them to be more familial than romantic so we'll see if there's a fic good enough to convince me

Edit:i forgot to add Blitzo like Mammon already there why did i forgot

Adam x Blitzo (i dont think anyone even ship this but me:)) 7/10

I cant find a single fic where they has anything more than a 1 nightstand n 1 interaction where they hit it off , i live off imagination alone (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) but like fr fr they would match so well, like their bloodlust n general jerkiness would make them the 3rd asshole x asshole ship on this list :DDDD

Tho as much as i wanna see them go further i feel like an on-n-off relationship/friends with benefits fit em more ya know ( *^-^)ρ(*╯^╰) If ya have any fic but the 2 here that have them interact lemme know cause a bitch need food :)

This is a lot of tag(._. )

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thisfanisgonesorry · 10 months

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ironhead — hobie brown

i got possessed and had an epiphany because to me this just makes SO MUCH sense. also i HATE writing accents fuck off. kinda mid i lowkey struggled w the dialogue idc the main point is that brother ties you up. i promise ill write him better if i write him again im just. THOUGHTS THOUGHTS THOUGHTS.

🕷

tags: smut, bondage, shibari, light dom/sub, i dont think hed like power dynamics, however; mutual light teasing (not a huge amount of dialogue, bros mouth is busy). tit play (i dont usually write this one, oh god), aftercare duh, lots of kisses cos holy fucking shit his lips look so nice SJAJAJA

(my reqs are open pleasepleasepleaseplease, ill write most of the guys from spv, pleasepleaseplease)

guys my beta reader died while reading this.. i hope its okay

🕷

“How does tha’ feel? Not dodgy?” He asked, tugging on the webbing. I was sitting on the bed, leaning against a pile of pillows as he made sure the web-ropes were secure and done up properly.

“Good.” I spoke, and he gestured for him to keep talking so he could make sure everything was going to go smoothly. “Uh, not too tight but not too loose. It’s fine, I think. Feels sticky.”

"Want me to walk you through this?” He asked, his hands resting on my knees. “This is a spiral futomomo, can y’move y’legs?”

“No.” I spoke, trying to move my legs, only able to shut my thighs together.

“This is just a basic star harness, usually don’t have the arms tied up. This one does ‘cause y’can’t keep your ‘ands to y’self.” He speaks briefly, his main goal is to get the point across to keep this all safe, and his secondary goal is to push my buttons as frequently as he can. He slapped the side of my tit, watching it bounce slightly. I took a sharp inhale at the unexpected feeling, and he used it as his chance to pinch my nipple harshly. “Then there’s a dragonfly sleeve to make sure y’stay still. Can you move?”

“No..”

“Good.” He spoke with another harsh tug and another slap, his eyes were glazed slightly as he admired the slight red hand print forming on the squishy flesh, forming very quickly — faster than he anticipated, the skin was just so delicate.

He repositioned us slightly, kneeling closer to me and trying to pull me to sit on his lap despite my efforts in keeping my legs shut.

“Darlin’, show me that pretty li’l cunt.”

I reluctantly spread my legs and he pulled me to sit on his thighs, nuzzling into my neck and pressing soft kisses into the skin.

“Can I get a snog?” I teased slightly.

“Don’t be cheeky.” He said firmly, ignoring me completely and lowering himself to my chest; making keen eye contact with me as he pressed a kiss on the reddening hand print, wrapping his plump lips softly around the areola.

He nipped at the skin slightly as his hand reached up to the other. He groped it for a moment, before pinching the nipple in his hand. There wasn’t an abundance of volume besides the wet sounds his mouth was making, though he noticed the way I writhed in his touch, groaning silently and breathing heavily.

His other hand dipped to between my thighs, feeling the wetness before rubbing his fingers in circles around the clit.

“That’s it.” He praised slightly, whispering into my flesh. “Good girl.”

I began to grind down onto his hand, feeling him enjoy his time with my tits. I sighed, throwing my head back and struggling against the sticky ropes.

“Baby..”

“Stop squirming.” He warned.

I knew I had no hope of getting out of his webs, and if I did, there’d probably be a consequence to fucking up what he wanted to do but god, he looked so delectable. So touchable. I helplessly tried to grind myself on his fingers, trying to distract myself from the way my arms were tied to me.

“C’mon, ask nicely. I know y’want more.”

“Pretty please? Need more.” I asked sweetly.

His own need began taking over him and it was blatantly obvious; I could feel his rock hard dick pressing against my thigh through his pants.

“Y’sound so nice like that.”

He slipped his fingers inside me. groaning and bucking his hips as he felt the soft, wet walls. His thumb slowly rubbed my clit as his index and middle worked in a ‘come hither’ motion. He worked me slowly, planning to drag this out as long as possible for his own enjoyment. His movements were meticulous, extremely preplanned, like he’d been sitting on this fantasy for a long time, but that strategic energy didn’t last long.

“You’re so fuckin’ hot, love.” He groaned, trying to pronounce his words clearly despite his lust filled slur. He could feel the slight clench around his fingers, and the rest of his body got greedy with want.

“Keep doin’ that, right there, Hobes.”

He pressed his tongue flat against the nipple, opening his mouth enough to look erotic; He sat like there for a moment, catching my attention to watch him, a low groan crawling its way out of my throat. He had a smug grin as he moved to bite and suck on the flesh, his other hand no longer methodical, all it portrayed was an incessant need.

I let out a loud moan. “Fuck, that’s so good.”

Feeling the tight, squishy walls of my insides sent him into a desire filled stupor, doing nothing but greedily grabbing what he could as he worked me closer to orgasm. The feeling of his talented hands moving against my nerves was doing wonders, and it was doing those wonders quite fast.

He began grinding his hard dick against my thigh. “Y’so..” He groaned. “Bloody hell, you’re wretched.” He tried to joke.

“Coming from you.” I bit back, throwing my head back again as he kept fucking his fingers into me and torturing my tits.

“Wanted.. Had it all planned out. You’ve fucked it, yeah? So fuckin’ hot. Can’t resist.”

“Not my fault you got worked up so fast.”

“Don’t.” He grunted with a harsh bite. “You’re so tight, love, need to bury my cock in you. Need..” He groaned.

“Keep talkin’ like that and I’m gonna cum.”

“Need’a feel y’cum around my fingers. On my prick. Let me feel that tight cunt, baby. Gonna fuck you all night long.” He rambled, pressing soft kisses on the flesh, watching the flowering bruises form.

He could sense the impending orgasm as my breathing got heavy and rapid, grinding against his hand messily and squirming at the restraints.

“Shit..”

“You’re so close.” He taunted. “Let me feel it.”

My mouth opened and closed like I was gasping for air, his mouth trailed from my tits, up to my collarbone, neck, jaw and eventually landed intoxicatingly sweetly on my mouth.

“Hobes.” I moaned into his mouth and he swallowed it with a welcoming groan.

“Y’re so pretty like this ‘n we still ‘ave all night.” He spoke, pulling my body closer to his as he moved his mouth to the other breast, planning to mark it up too.

“Mhm. I’m gonna—”

“Please.”

That was it. I couldn’t survive much longer, I tried to tug on the ropes but to no avail as I began clenching desperately around his fingers.

“Hobie, Hobie..” I moaned.

“Y/n, Y/n.” He moaned back in an attempt to mock me.

I slumped down, resting my head on his shoulder as I moaned loudly, letting myself unwind and cum all over his fingers. I kept struggling against the ropes and he grabbed my wrists, trying to hold it in place as he groaned at the feeling of my spasming cunt. He kept trying to fuck into me as I came down from the high.

I gasped and panted for air, leaning against him and he pulled his drenched fingers out, sticking them in his beautiful mouth before whispering. “Keep strugglin’ and you’re gonna hurt yourself.” He spoke, not as a warning but as a statement.

“Wanna touch you.”

“That’s why the ropes are there, love.” He breathed heavily, grinding his aching cock against the wetness, ruining his jeans slightly. “God.” He grunted. “You’re so sexy.”

“Go on.” I rolled my eyes sarcastically, leaning forward to kiss him.

— When he says ‘all night’, he really means it.

🕷

BONUS ROUND:

“Don’t fall asleep on me, darlin'.” He spoke as he quickly cut the webbing around my arms, before struggling to take off the harness without moving me around too much, laying me down on the soft pillows.

“Rope burn.” I mumbled tiredly, rubbing my wrists the second they were free.

“That wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t squirm so much.”

I let out a hum as an indirect response to let him know I acknowledge it. He removed the harness and began kissing my wrists slightly, looking up at me with soft eyes. He placed quick kisses on my neck where the rope dug into the skin as he lazily sliced open the fotomomo knots.

The second that one of my legs were free, he gently grabbed my calf and pulled the leg out so it laid straight

“Move around, stretch ‘em out.” He directed.

I moved my legs around, trying to get the stiffness out as he held my calf, pressing soft kisses into the skin before quickly untying the other and doing the same.

“Keep stretchin’ it, good girl.”

Once both legs were stretched out and he was satisfied with the amount of kisses littered over them, he raised back to my body, pressing a soft kiss on my lips.

“Can you get me a shirt?” I asked weakly with a grin.

He sucked his teeth as he got up, looking for one of his shirts that I could put one on and comfortably sleep in.

“Next time, I’m tying a vibrator between your legs.” He joked as he dug through the wardrobe.

✰ pt 2 >> LET ME HEAR YOU SCREAM

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hihello-pinky · 1 year

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Sight (3)

Suna Rintarou x F! Reader

Sometimes, it takes losing someone to finally see them. He wished he knew this before, but Rintarou had to learn this the hard way.

WARNINGS: mentions of abortion, mentions of suicide, smut (fingering, oral [f receiving], lack of protection, rough sex, creampie) please let me know if I missed any!

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This in no way represents my views of the original anime/manga characters.

WC: 6.3k Genre: Angst, Romance, Hurt/Comfort Other Tags: Forced Marriage, Developing Relationship, Denial of Feelings, Emotionally Repressed, References to Illness, Angst with a Happy Ending, + more to be added.

Here’s the long-awaited part 3!. Thank you all for waiting and for the love and support!!! Kindly reblog and comment if you liked it! ALSO, I’m not sure how many parts are left.

part one part two part three part ?????

leave me love?

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

“I don’t know what game you’re playing with you agreeing to my parents’ crazy demands but just so we’re clear, there’s only one ending to this fucking marriage: divorce.”

Suna watched as you squirmed in your wedding dress. The two of you had just arrived at the new house, and he already hated it. First, he hated how he had just been forced into marrying a girl he barely knew. Second, he hated how you’re acting as if you’re the victim of the whole ordeal when this wouldn’t have happened in the first place if you just agreed to get an abortion.

And lastly, he despised how you looked so damn beautiful in that wedding dress.

The fidgety and nervous girl during his wedding night is nowhere to be seen as you’re standing in that very same room, your eyes looking straightly at him and your voice firm as you repeat, “I want to file for divorce.”

“I heard you the first time,” he responds as he clicks his tongue. “But I won’t do it.” He’s trying to be careful, unsure of where you’re actually getting at. A few nights ago, you just confessed about being in love with him and now you want to divorce?

A small laughter leaves your lips, regaining his attention. “Rin,” you call his name and as usual, hearing that one syllable from you stirs something inside him. “You don’t have to worry about anything. We’ll talk to your mom and dad, and I’ve already spoken with the family lawyer. We can always co-parent.”

“No.” Maybe if he’s not busy getting annoyed about your mind game, he’d have noticed how your eyes are squinting, how your fingertips are slowly rubbing against your temple. “There will be no divorce unless you explain to me everything about this sudden shit you’re pulling.”

“Rintarou, -”

“I’m so damn tired, Y/N!” What surprises Suna is not his sudden outburst. It’s the quick realization that for the first time in five years, he’s addressing you by your name. “Are you playing with me? You confess, you make me feel guilty, you make me want to apologize, but now you want to divorce!”

You shake your head, hoping that the action will also help in easing your headache. “Why are you reacting like this, Rin? Isn’t this something that you’ve wanted since day one?”

It’s the same question he has for himself. Sure, he entered the room ready to apologize for the past years and maybe try for any way to salvage the relationship you both have, but here you were, offering him the easy way out and yet he doesn’t want to accept it.

Instead of answering you, he takes a deep breath to calm himself down. “Listen, I don’t know what shit you’re pulling but I’m serious when I say I’m not signing any papers unless you talk to me and explain what the hell’s going on.”

“Rin, I’m tired,” you say as you sit on the bed dejectedly. “I’m so, so tired.” Your voice breaks at the last word as you bring your knees to your chest, hugging it before beginning to sob. This isn’t the first time that he’s witnessing you cry but the way the sobs come out of you as if they physically hurt and how your body is shaking... it’s a sight that he does not want to see.

Other times he would have chosen to leave you alone and his mind is currently shouting at him to go back towards the door and leave the room but his body is doing the exact opposite – his feet bringing him closer to you. The next thing he knows, he’s crouching down in front of you at the bed, hands hovering over you but not touching. “What is it?”

As soon as the question leaves him, he feels silly. How were you supposed to answer him when the sobs wracking out of your body barely stop? Suna rakes a hand through his hair, unsure of what to do. He looks up at the ceiling in frustration. “Fuck, Y/N, tell me what’s the matter. Why the hell are you asking for a divorce out of the blue? Is this because of what happened a few nights ago?”

“I’m scared.” Your small voice surprises him. “I’m scared, Rintarou.”

He diverts his eyes back on you but your face is still buried behind your knees. “Look at me.”

He watches as you slowly acquiesce and the broken look on your face tugs at his heart. Your eyes resemble shattered glass and it’s as if all the broken shards are piercing through his chest at the moment. “I’m scared.” A hiccup. “I’m so damn scared.”

Suna shakes his head as he gazes at you, seemingly unable to break the eye contact despite the feelings it’s currently bringing him. “I don’t understand.”

Tears well in your eyes again as you begin to explain with a shaky breath. “I went to the hospital a few days ago to get checked about my recurring headaches and blackouts. I received the test results yesterday and they don’t look good. I’m so scared, Rintarou.”

Every word that escapes from your mouth makes his heart feel heavy. “Then why are you asking for divorce?”

You’re silent for a while as you break eye contact and he can tell that you’re carefully deliberating your words. The suspense is making him feel uneasy but he also knows he can’t force and rush you. “I’ve always known there’s a possibility that it would happen to me too. But then, Doctor Hirai said that its progression is mainly stress-induced. I need to be in an environment which will be better for my mental and subsequently, my physical health. More importantly, I’m scared that what I will go through will hurt the children in the long run.”

“So, you prefer that you’d suffer alone?” He asks without thinking.

At that, you turn to face him again and smile sadly. “I’d still suffer alone even if we remain married, right? At least once we separate, I’ll be in a much healthier environment. We won’t have to pretend in front of the children anymore. You’ll have your freedom and I’ll have my peace.”

Suna can feel himself frowning, knowing how there’s truth in what you just said. He sighs deeply before speaking, choosing his words carefully. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, his attempt frustrating him. In the end, he settles for three words instead. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

--- *** ---

Hearing those words from your husband makes your heart clench. You bite your trembling lower lip and close your eyes, finally letting the tears fall once again. You hated this. You hate having Rintarou see you cry.

What happens next surprises you. You feel gentle fingers wiping away your tears, the touch soft and delicate. You crack your eyes open and convince yourself you must be dreaming.

“I know this is long overdue and it can’t undo all the things I’ve put you through in the last few years, but I’m really, really sorry. For being a horrible person, for being a terrible husband, for being a bad dad... I’m sorry for what I did a few nights ago.”

You hear the unspoken truth from his last sentence: I’m sorry I can’t reciprocate your feelings. Instead of dwelling on it too much, you try to wipe your tears. “You weren’t much of a bad father,” you say and see how his eyes slightly widen in surprise. “For what it’s worth, I appreciate how you’re trying to be a good dad to the kids.”

A frown makes its way to your husband’s handsome features before he scoffs bitterly. It makes your heart clench. “Why do you have to be so kind?” He asks quietly and then looks at your face as if searching for something. “I’ve been such a horrible person to you and here you are, telling me that I wasn’t a bad father to our children.”

Your heart softens a bit at his words as new tears start to pool in your eyes. “I’m just speaking the truth, Rin.” He’s still studying your face and you look at his in return. This is the first time you’re both staring at each other like this again; the last being those five months that you two were on good terms. “It gives me comfort, knowing that you’ll continue to be a good dad to Risa and Ryuu once we separate.”

At that, the frown that has dissolved from his face returns, and in a much stronger note. “I still don’t think having a divorce is necessary. It will not do much and that word may even bring trauma to the kids.” It’s amazing how quickly you’re able to understand where Rin was coming from. And almost immediately, you’re brought back to that day.

You watched as Rin was almost done watering the newly-planted seedlings in the backyard. A week prior, you had shyly asked him if it’s okay to have a small garden and without much thought, he agreed. You wanted to do the task yourself but he had insisted he do it instead, saying something along the lines of Jiri scolding him if she ever finds out he let a pregnant woman do a laborious task.

So, there you sat on one of the newly-bought reclining chairs, watching as Rin worked. It’s been a few weeks since the both of you started to be on good terms and the more you got to know him, the more it became harder for you to ignore how handsome your husband truly was. Especially at that moment, with him wearing loose sweats and a thin plain white shirt, arms flexing as he held the watering host.

After more minutes of trying to distract yourself from staring at Rintarou, he turned the water system off and went to join you, taking the vacant recliner beside you. “It’s crazy how my parents didn’t even think of having some work done on the backyard, considering all the efforts that were made in the house’s interior.”

You looked at the backyard and imagined how it would look like once your garden blooms. “Maybe they wanted to at least give you the chance to decorate it as you want?”

He let out a dry laugh and then straightened on his seat. “Then, I want to have a small playground there.” You trailed where his finger was pointing and saw that he was referring to a corner of the yard.

“A playground?” you asked, surprised that he would even suggest one. You both had been careful with the topic about your children and what would happen after they were born, and this was the first time that he was bringing up something related to it.

“Just a slide and a swing set would do, to be honest.” His eyes were still trained on that same spot, as if he’s already picturing the item he’s planning to place there. You hummed in response, savoring the peaceful silence that was beginning to take over.

Rintarou was the one to break it. “Who in your family is a twin?”

You blinked at him in surprise. “Oh, um, my dad.”

He nodded, taking in the information. “And you have siblings?”

“Yes,” you answered softly. “Two step sisters. I’m the middle child.” He turned to you and as expected, there was question in his eyes already. “My mother died shortly after I was born. When I was around ten years old, my dad re-married.” You looked at the corner that Rintarou had pinpointed for the playground. “She was a lovely lady, my step-mom. I just wish my father had met her earlier. It would have been nice to grow up with both parents around.”

The scoff that left Rin’s mouth surprised you. It was your turn to look at him with curiosity. His jaw clenched a little before he spoke. “My parents were mostly absent while I was growing up. I’m an only child and since my parents both settled on a city away from their hometowns, I never got to develop a relationship with my other relatives and children in playgrounds never seemed fond of me.

“You know what the best part is?” He spat the word “best” and it almost made you flinch. “The times they would spend with me would always end up with them threatening each other to just divorce and I would just be there, having a front-row seat in watching their fights.”

He was silent after that as you stared at him. You couldn’t imagine the parents that Rintarou was referring to was the same sweet couple who apologized to you on behalf of their son during the first time you met. But then again, you knew part of the reason they forced the marriage was because they wanted to punish him. You picked your words carefully. “I couldn’t imagine how difficult that was for you. I’m sorry that happened to you.”

Rin only shrugged. “Don’t worry. I got accustomed to it quickly. Whenever they would fight, I just had to show them some achievement from school and they’d be all happy and proud and forget that they were just about to rip each other’s heads off a few seconds before. It was an effective study tool, I guess.”

You frowned at his sarcasm, picturing a young Rintarou working hard on his studies, hoping to appease his fighting parents.

You close your eyes as you try to compose yourself. No matter how long it has been, no matter how many times you remember that afternoon, the memory still hurts you. “Rin, I understand your sentiments and I don’t want to invalidate your feelings and experience. But you should know that it’s not the same situation. Weren’t you the one who told me that our marriage is supposed to end in divorce?”

He sighs frustratedly. “You know damn well that that was anger-driven. It’s not the same now. I care for the kids and I don’t want them to get hurt. I don’t want them to have the same relationship I have with my parents.”

You truly do understand your husband and you know he has his reasons. But so do you. And between the two of you, it’s a fact that you’re the one who cares more about your children. So, with a deep breath, you share the part of your explanation that you omitted earlier. “Rin, I’m about to lose my sight.”

--- *** ---

“I don’t understand, aren’t pregnant women only supposed to have cravings for food?” Suna asked as soon as the traffic light turned red. It was eight minutes past ten in the evening and you had just left the mall after completing a buzzer-beater shopping for an item that you swore won’t allow you go to sleep if it weren’t in your hands.

The item in question being a copy of your favorite author’s latest book which you had asked him to pick up for you earlier that day. He had been busy at work and asked Yuto to buy the book instead. When he handed you the package once he got home, the delighted expression he expected on your face was nowhere to be seen and in its place was an irritated look. “This isn’t the correct edition; it’s the first one. What I want is the most recent release – the 10th anniversary edition with a special chapter!”

He was glad his years of playing volleyball in high school gave him good reflexes or else he wouldn’t have caught the book you threw to his face. “Okay, okay, I’ll ask for an exchange tomorrow.”

You had looked at him as if he had grown two heads. “Tomorrow? I won’t be able to sleep at all if I don’t get to read it tonight!”

He inwardly cringed at the sound of your loud voice. You were already in your sixth month of pregnancy and contrary to what Jiri had told him, your mood swings were still a menace to deal with. So, he checked his watch and with a heavy sigh, announced that he would make a quick trip to the bookstore. When you insisted to tag along to make sure he gets the correct edition, he didn’t put up a fight.

“It’s not like you can eat a book,” he mumbles irritably again, looking at the still-red traffic light. “And that saleslady was a bitch.”

Beside him, you just let out a hum as you sniffed the pages of your precious book. “You’re lucky the smell of new books is one of my favorite scents in the world. I’m feeling too happy to entertain your negative ramblings. God, I can’t wait to get under my comforter and begin reading this.”

You continued on with humming a soft melody. Rintarou sneaked a glance at you before the lights turned green. You had returned the book to the paper bag and the image of you hugging it to your chest as you looked out the window was enough to make him smile, something that he had been doing a lot since the two of you began spending a lot of time together.

When you arrived home, he quickly jumped in the shower as he assumed that you changed into night clothes and got under the comfort of what used to be his bed alone. The king-sized bed had become a place for two, ever since you had moved into the room some weeks prior. It didn’t even take him long to shower but by the time he joined you, you were already asleep, barely even able to get the book out of the paper bag.

After a quiet laugh, he carefully plucked it from your hands, placing it on the bedside table. He never enjoyed reading and couldn’t find the appeal in doing so; he’d much rather watch shows or play video games. However, when the two of you got to talking about things you enjoyed, you were so passionate about your love for books. It was your step-mom who had introduced you to it, you said, and it was a special bond between the two of you as your sisters weren’t readers.

Suna’s eyes softened as he recalled what else you had shared to him.

It was your step-mom who read books to your father all day and all night after he went totally blind. Then, it was subsequently you who read him books after she took her own life.

“That can’t be.” Suna is pretty sure that he misheard you. He shakes his head in disbelief. “Maybe you need to get a second opinion.”

He’s quick to hate the look of defeat in your eyes. “I’m sure the results will be the same. I don’t want to get my hopes up only for them to be shortly crushed after. Please don’t make this harder for me anymore.”

When he replies to you, he hopes the frustration can’t be heard in his voice. “Okay, I won’t force you if you don’t want to. But, let me be there for you.” You give him a wide-eyed look, expression full of surprise. “I meant it when I said I’m sorry to you. I want to...” He sighs heavily, wanting to break eye contact but he steels himself to hold it. “I want to try. To actually try for this marriage to work. I know it may be too late and I’ve been such a dick and an asshole to you. And honestly, there are still a lot of things I need to process but let’s not make these big decisions abruptly, okay? I don’t want you nor the kids to suffer a lot.”

Suna figures this must be the most honest he’s been with you since the children were born. He just hopes you’ll give him a chance. However, he won’t even blame you if you decide not to trust his words.

You’re the one who breaks eye contact and don’t respond to him for a second, a minute... and when the silence lingers on, he carefully calls for you. “Y/N?”

He watches you close your eyes, as if preparing yourself for what to say next. When you open them, they’re welling up with tears but you give him a small smile that tugs at his heart. “For what it’s worth,” you say, “Doctor Hirai said that there’s a possibility that it can only be a temporary blindness since it got detected early.”

Suna doesn’t even hold back the sigh of relief that he lets out. He holds your hands and stands up from his position in front of you. You follow suit, making the two of you face each other. He’s so much taller than you that you have to crane your neck up while he looks down at you. There’s a barely noticeable smile on his lips. “We’ll get through this, Y/N.”

--- *** ---

“Hey, Y/N, you didn’t come here the past few weeks.” Hajime greets you as he arrives at where the parents sit in the playground. You both watch as Kenta joins Risa in the sandbox, her face brightening in joy.

“I think my daughter has a crush on your son,” you comment before turning to him. “Nice to see you, Hajime. I was, ah, quite busy in the last weeks.”

He hums in response and looks at all the kids playing. “Is Ryuu not feeling well today? I don’t see him around.”

Before you can respond, your son makes an appearance, and you notice a happy look on his face. This prompts you to look at the person who’s holding his hand only to find that Rintarou is already looking at you with an unreadable expression on his face.

“Oh,” Hajime says as he stands up from where he’s sitting beside you. “Rintarou, right? Risa and Ryuu’s father?”

Rin breaks eye contact with you as he looks at Hajime’s outstretched hand. He shakes it quickly. “Yeah, also Y/N’s husband.”

The awkward moment is shattered when Ryuu groans. “Dad! You’re squeezing my hand tightly!” Rin must have loosened his hold for your son pulls his hand away before looking at you. “Can I play now, Mommy?”

You’re about to nod when you notice something on the corner of his lips. You fight a smile and put on your ‘inquisitive mom’ look. “Why did it take you long to come here, Ryuu?”

His eyes, which looks so similar to his father’s, widen and he bites his lip, quickly shooting a look at Rin who you can tell is trying not to smirk.

“Ryuu?” You ask again.

He pouts and breaks. “We saw an ice cream man on the way from the restroom and Dad bought me a cone.” He bites his bottom lip to stop it from trembling. “I’m sorry.”

You inwardly sigh before leaving the bench to crouch down and match your son’s height. “Isn’t ice cream time after we leave here? What would Risa feel when she finds out you ate ice cream without her?” Ryuu only gives you a guilty look and sensing that he’s about to cry, you ruffle his black hair and kiss his forehead. “Don’t do it again, okay? Now, go and play.”

He nods and mumbles a quick promise before he goes to play with some kids in the rows of see-saws. Once you see him off, you return to sit on the park bench. You see Hajime talking to the other parents a few meters away, not even noticing him leaving.

“He quickly excused himself the moment you bent down to talk to Ryuu,” Rin explains as he takes the place where Hajime had been seating. You’re surprised he even offers an explanation, remembering the venom in his voice the last time the two of you had been talking about your friend.

“I see.” You watch the children play. Ever since that talk in the bedroom three weeks ago, things have been slowly changing between you and your husband. So far, he has kept true to his words and you can see that he’s trying to make things work between you two. And part of it is that he wants to be more involved with your children. The twins had been excited this morning when they found out that their dad is tagging along to the playground.

“I saw Ryuu look longingly at the ice cream vendor but he told me he’s not supposed to get ice cream yet. I bought him a cone anyway and told him to tell you that the line in the restrooms was long.”

You swiftly turn to look at your husband incredulously. “Did you just tell my son to lie?”

He smirks and shrugs. “Don’t worry, it seems like he’s brought up well. He can’t lie at all.”

Still, the scandalized look on your face doesn’t go away. “Rintarou!”

The smirk doesn’t leave his face and does something that surprises you. He laughs. Not the condescending or hateful way he had laughed at you in the past five years, but a genuine laughter. Before you know it, his fingers are softly straightening the lines on your face. “Stop worrying too much, Y/N. The kids will be fine.”

--- *** ---

[ left the hospital already but dropping by osamu’s for some onigiri ]

[ ok. tell me when you’re home ]

[ okay ]

[ actually, don’t. i’ll just pick u up otw home. stay there for a while? ]

[ um, ok ]

[ cool ]

[ also, tell samu to stop being a fucking prick & resume talking to atsumu. i’m not their messenger for fuck’s sake ]

A small giggle leaves your mouth as you read Rintarou’s last message. Osamu looks at you curiously after he bids goodbye to a customer. “Usual order?”

You nod at him. “But can you prepare them for later? Quick change of plans, I’ll have some food for here first.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Waiting for someone?”

You shake your phone at him. “Rin says he’s picking me up.”

The way his eyes widen almost makes you laugh. “Really?” You know he must be confused, after all, you were just here a few weeks ago, looking as stressed as ever because of your husband.

“Yeah,” you suddenly feel like blushing so you look down at your phone instead. “He also says you should talk to Atsumu again because he’s getting tired of being your messenger.”

Osamu then laughs. “I bet you just censored all the curse words in his message.” The way you suppress a smile is telling enough. “I see you two are on some kind of truce? What happened?”

You contemplate for a while. Sacha is the only one you have confided to about the happenings of the past few weeks. But then again, Osamu has been nothing but nice to you and you figured it wouldn’t be a problem if you tell him about Rintarou’s resolve. “Well... Rin said he wants to try to make our relationship work.”

The gray-haired man is quiet for a while. “Did he now?”

“Yeah... Do you think it’s a bad idea, Osamu?”

The man shrugs. “Not at all. I mean, you look a lot better than you did the last time you were here.” His statement makes you smile. “So, I take it things have been different since then?”

You nod. “Yesterday, he tagged along to the kids’ weekly trip to the playground then after that, he took us to lunch in the mall and then went shopping the whole afternoon. Risa and Ryuu were so happy.”

Osamu almost drops the glass he’s been wiping and he sends you a strange look. “Today is Tuesday, no? So that makes yesterday a Monday?”

“Uh huh. Why?”

“And you’re saying Rin spent the day with you and the kids?”

You nod, not knowing where he’s getting at. You look at him quizzically and can tell that he’s trying hard to suppress a smirk. “What’s the matter, Osamu?”

Finally, the man lets out an amused chuckle. “Nothing,” he says as he begins preparing your food. “It’s just that if there’s one thing that Rintarou Suna is constant about ever since he started working, it’s that he never takes a day-off on a Monday.”

--- *** ---

Suna tells himself he’s not keeping track but it’s the fourth Friday in a row that he’s spending home. Usually, he’ll be out in some bar to drink and maybe look for a woman to bring to a close by hotel or to a bathroom, if he couldn’t wait. But ever since he has decided that he wants to try to work things out with you, he’s been skipping the routine.

He goes to your bedroom and sees it empty; you’re probably in the kids’ room. He takes that time to jump into the shower. Suna is a man with needs and missing his week’s end routine means one thing: he’s horny. Many times, he has been tempted to go back to his old way and ring someone for a booty-call. You didn’t need to find out and if you did, surely you would understand, right? Old habits die hard, after all. Whenever the temptation comes, he shakes his head and pushes the thought away, knowing that it’s a terrible idea to pursue.

So, he’s left with doing something that he never thought he would do again – getting himself off in the bathroom with his hands, like a pathetic lonely teenager.

Suna’s not sure how long it takes him in the shower. He’s afraid that his hand might not work for him anymore next time. It’s not helping that he’s spending more time with you, the girl that he has always found attractive, even during the times he hated you.

When he exits the shower, he finds you in bed already, leaning against the headboard as the blanket covers the lower half of your body. You’re wearing a silk set of pajamas and the strap of your top is sliding down on your shoulder. He gulps. He has taken you before, but why is he suddenly nervous?

“Are you okay?” Your voice breaks him out of his inner thoughts. You must have felt him staring at you because your eyes are still trained on your book as you ask him the question.

“Yeah...” He moves to the closet to grab a shirt and pair of shorts. He quickly changes into them and once he pulls the shirt over his head, his eyes meet yours looking at him.

A faint blush colors your cheeks as you return your gaze to your book. He finds himself smirking and decides to call you out. “You know, it’s completely normal for a wife to watch her husband changing.”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He doesn’t speak until he’s on the bed beside you, getting a whiff of your sweet scent. He leans closer and tries to peek at your book. “What are you reading?”

He knows his closeness unsettles you for you quickly shut your book close. You turn to him instead and bites your lower lips as soon as you realize that there’s barely any distance between your faces. “Can you move, please?”

“Why? Am I making you uncomfortable?”

You squirm and Suna has to admit that he’s having too much fun with this. Sure, the past few weeks you’ve been spending a lot together has been good, but this is something different. There’s something about making you so flustered that makes him feel things he does not want to acknowledge yet. “I’ll take your silence as a yes, then.”

He’s about to move back, afraid that he might not be able to stop himself if he continues to tease you any longer, but before he can do so, you softly tug at his shirt. You’re not looking at him, your face turned away from him, but not enough to hide the redness on your face. “Hmm?”

“Rin,” the soft way you say his name almost makes him groan. “C-Can we...”

Fuck. Is this happening? “Yes, Y/N? Can we what?”

If it’s possible, your face reddens even more. “You know what I want to say.”

He chuckles and despite knowing he shouldn’t be taking too much pleasure from this, he does not relent. “I’m not actually sure. I need you to tell me exactly what you want, wife.”

You whimper at the word and finally say with a barely audible voice, “I want you, Rin.”

This time, Suna lets himself groan out loud as he tips your chin up so that you’re meeting eye to eye. “Are you sure, Y/N? I haven’t been with anyone since that day I shared my resolve to you. I’m not sure if I can be gentle at all.”

You nod quickly before speaking, your voice laced with desire. “Just take me, please, Rin.”

That’s all he needs to hear before he’s sucking marks on your neck, his hands quickly removing the covers from you. He ignores the thud of what he assumes to be your book hitting the floor. You’re just as eager as you tug at his shirt. He groans and removes the piece of clothing with the same urgency as you’re undressing yourself.

He maneuvers you so you’re lying completely on your back with him hovering over you, his lips busy alternating between your breasts. A sweet moan leaves your lips as his hand finds your damp center. He makes you come with his fingers alone before his lips are trailing down your body. The moment his tongue enters your pussy, you pull at his hair and the slight sting makes him growl.

“Please, Rin...” he feels you trying to close your legs and he slaps your thigh to keep you from moving. It seems to work as you stop and just continue to pull at his hair. It doesn’t take you long before an orgasm consumes you again and he laps at your release.

Suna pulls back and he watches you try to steady your breathing as he pumps his already hard cock. “Ready?”

The needy look you send him makes him groan. “Yes. Please, Rin. I need you.”

He growls out your name before sheathing himself inside you. “Fuck, your pussy is so fucking tight.” He doesn’t start off slow, his thrusts already intense but it seems like you don’t mind it either as you’re continuously letting out your sweet and addictive moans. Your hands clench on the sheet and he takes them, placing them on his back. He groans at the feeling of your fingers scratching and he finds that he does not mind getting marked by you anymore.

Suna busies his lips on your neck and collarbone as his thrusts become harder and faster, sounds of your skin slapping together echoing in your room. “Feels so fucking good,” he pants against your ear, making you clench around him tighter. He gets ahold of your legs and press them against your chest before his hips move with powerful thrusts against you. You’re moaning endlessly now, but not loud enough to cover the creaking sound of the bed and the headboard meeting the wall.

Sensing that you’re nearing your release, Rintarou sneaks his hand in between your legs and plays with your clit, giving it the last push before you’re moaning out his name and coming around him. It doesn’t take him long to follow after you, his hips stilling as he comes inside you.

You’re both panting and it takes Suna a few moments to compose himself before he’s pulling out, the both of you letting out hisses at the sensitivity. He covers his eyes, chest still heaving, as he says, “Fuck. I really needed that.”

--- *** ---

You can’t help but giggle at Rin’s statement. You weren’t a very sexual person but you knew it must have been hard for him, especially since he told you he hasn’t been with anyone during the past few weeks. You’re still both panting and you half-dreaded for him to leave you alone like he usually does in the past after sex.

However, much like he’s been surprising you with his actions in the past weeks, his hand reaches for his shirt and wipes you down. He’s sitting upright on the bed and you feel his eyes on your still naked body. You see him bite his lip as he watches you, the desire still evident on his face. The way he’s looking at you gives you the confidence to reach down and stroke his half-hard cock. And with an innocent smile that you know he’ll be able to see through, you ask, “One more?”

As it turns out, Rin’s stamina and your neediness leads to two more. You now lay on the bed, already cleaned up and changed, your eyes closed. You know that you’re breathing is soft and Rin must have mistaken it for you already asleep for you feel him carefully leave the bed.

You discreetly watch as he opens the bedside table’s drawer and takes out his cigarette pack and lighter. The soft steps of his bare foot are barely heard as he makes his way to the terrace. As soon as the door slides shut beside him, you close your eyes.

Baby steps, you tell yourself. At least he waited until you fell asleep. And even though he still didn’t kiss your lips tonight, the fact that he gave you aftercare was enough. You know there are a lot of things that Rin has to work on and he had told you himself that it may take a long time before he can be someone that he himself can be proud of. “Baby steps,” you whisper to yourself again.

Unbeknownst to you, it’s the exact same words that the man outside tells himself as he lights up what he decides to be his last stick of cigarette ever.

TO BE CONTINUED.

taglist: @warrior-of-justice @alisa--things @wolffmaiden @kurookinnie @simp-nerd-16 @alex-is-100 @k4g3hika @harukaaaaa172993 @themoonreflectsthesun @lvjycrow @cantbedenied @sweetlikerockcandy @sirimiripetrichor @yamiakari-chi @noideawhothatis @nervouscoffeetaco @lovemyfamily4ever-blog nervouscoffeetaco kamukayakmonyet yuqixidle ieathairs cantbedenied gariben beomeomgyu esmeisdrunk-blog 123j456l iluv-ace semitje @justablogforreblogs

#suna x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #suna rintarou #haikyuu fic #haikyuu fluff #suna smut #haikyuu #haikyuu suna

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thebibliosphere · 2 years

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Welcome to the blog of international bestselling author, Joy Demorra, aka, the Crucifix Nail Nipples Editor.

This is my personal blog where I commit word crimes.

If you're looking for my chronic illness and disability advocacy posts, or you want to block them (fair), the tag I use is #chronic health tag.

You can also peruse my FAQ.

My international bestselling debut romance novel, Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites (Phangs), is out now and available in eBook, Paperback, and Audio.

Set in a pseudo-regency meets fake-Victorian Gaslamp Fantasy world, complete with gothic castles, enchanted forests, and just a smidge of industrial coal dust. Phangs has been described as "like reading the queer, goth love child of Terry Pratchett meets Jane Austen," and no amount of marketing buzzwords I say can ever top that.

If any of that sparks your interest, you can:

Buy the (high heat) Flirting With Fangs Edition Here.

Buy the (medium heat) Fluff and Fangs Edition Here.

Why are there two versions and what's the difference between them? Glad you asked! You can also check out individual content tags and heat ratings on my website at www.joydemorra.com

If you've seen my dog, Holly Mop, trending around the place and would like to see more of her, her tag is #holly mop. You can also now follow her blog at @holly-mop; we just use it to upload pictures.

Other places you can find me online include: Ao3, Twitter , BlueSky Pillowfort, and Instagram. If you like what I do and would like to see more of it, you can support me on Patreon, Ko-Fi, Payhip, or through my Throne Wishlist.

You can also find me hanging around Twitch on Sundays, where I co-host @theayesphere podcast with @ayeforscotland and sometimes play games. Feel free to come hang out; we're always happy for new people to natter with.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading and happy scrolling!

Additional image IDs under cut due to length.

First image ID: A picture of TV presenter John Oliver holding his arms wide with a sardonic expression saying, “Welcome to whatever this is…”

The image is surrounded by a gradient rainbow frame.

Second Image ID: A promo image showing the two different book covers for Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites side by side. One is blue, one is red. Both show three characters juxtaposed in a bisexual parody of the "distracted boyfriend" meme.

At the top, white text stands out against a purple/blue gradient. It reads: Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites, Book one of the Hunger Pangs Series.

Beneath that it lists qualities of the book: queer paranormal romance, vampire x werewolf, gaslamp fantasy, mutual pining (the love is requited, they're just idiots), slow burn and happily ever after, for now….

The bottom line of text reads: both medium and high heat versions available in eBook, Paperback and Audio.

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Third Image ID: A small tan and white Shih Tzu with dark eyes looking directly into the camera with her tongue hanging out. She looks like a teddy bear.

The image is surrounded by a rainbow gradient frame.

#pinned post #hunger pangs: true love bites #chronic health tag #holly mop #links #alt text provided #described

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sarahowritesostucky · 2 months

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📖"Temporary Custody"

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Steve x ofc x Bucky; Steve x Bucky

Word Count: 4861

Tags: Dom/sub, bdsm au, dom Bucky, sub reader, hurt/comfort, enemies to lovers, gay sex'n'stuff, straight sex'n'stuff, Steve being a literal Golden Retriever, mental health issues, dub-con, forced submission, referenced childhood abuse and resultant mental health issues, bakery au, m/f/m, gentle domination, total power exchange

Summary: The stigma and shame of being a submissive has kept Mary unfulfilled and in the closet her whole life, until an inciting incident leads to Bucky and Steve taking her in and giving her everything she was always too afraid to ask for.

Trigger warnings: This story contains themes of eating disordered behavior, body image issues, childhood abuse, self-harm, mental illness, and alcohol abuse.

Wait! I haven't read an earlier chapter of this fic! Story Masterpost

10. S'mores

It’s the “sex play” (God, that term is so cringe) thing being on the table that builds the tension in the apartment, all of them knowing about it but none of them talking about it. Mary sure as shit doesn’t have the guts to break that ice, and now Bucky’s always deep in thought and quiet around her. And Steve, well.

Steve is like a big, mopey golden retriever who knows its humans are upset but doesn’t know how to help besides headbutting things affectionately.

Mary’s feelings for him only grow when she realizes that he really hasn’t told Bucky about that night in the kitchen: the things she’d confided about the razor and her nightmares and sneaking out to the gym. Knowing that Steve’s stuck by his word like that makes her like him and trust him a whole heck of a lot more.

But it doesn’t solve the underlying problem.

There’s a court hearing in front of a judge next month to revisit the custody arrangement—Next month. And one afternoon while Bucky’s out of the apartment, Steve gently informs Mary that Dr. Linda is recommending the order be extended. Jesus fucking Christ.

And then the results to that test Linda made her take, the “Submissive Sexual Interests and Tendencies Assessment”, arrive in the mail (addressed to Bucky, because of course they would be), and Mary gets her hands on them after Bucky and Steve read them, and she’s mortified at what it says about her.

Tendencies: Passive aggression (reactive aggression in lieu of submission), emotional outbursts, low self-esteem, impulsive sexual promiscuity, self-harm, alcohol use disorder, possible co-morbidity (OCD, EDNOS, BDD). Dynamic Preferences: single dominant authority figure, structured domestic routine, service, discipline, monogamous relationship, emotional bonding. Recommendations: Following assessment review, patient is most likely to benefit from continued domestic control in a consistent (24/7) environment. Transfer of custody not recommended. Continued therapy sessions and educational courses at CDP highly recommended. Most beneficial therapeutic modalities include limited corporal discipline, sex play, and reward-based service routine.

There’s a ton of infuriating psycho babble bullshit packed into those results that she could get upset about, and she does, but Mary’s eyes track over that one, most-horrible phrase over and over again:

“Transfer of custody not recommended.”

Fuck.

She loses sleep over it, sneaks out of the apartment in the middle of the night and does cardio at the gym until she’s exhausted enough to head back home and pass out. It pisses her off that this is such a thing now. She doesn’t want to be special needs, she should have the right to choose whether she even wants treatment or not! She resents the hell out of Bucky and Steve for having custody of her the way that they do. They’re clearly expecting her to blow up or something, after the news from Linda and the SSITA results come in. It’s so obvious that they’re walking on eggshells around her, Mary halfway wishes they’d just do something. One way or the other, it’d be better than this.

Linda claims that they’ve expressed “positive feelings” about a sexual dynamic, but if they have, they sure aren’t expressing it to Mary. She suspects that most of that positivity has come from Steve, and probably only because he’s a golden retriever in human form who just wants to do what’s right and good, not because he or Bucky are particularly attracted to her.

While she has managed to clean herself up quite a bit since moving in with them, Mary isn’t delusional: she realizes that Steve and Bucky are very attractive men, whereas she’s just average. She tries to tell herself she’s fine with that. She knows Bucky and Steve could probably get like, a supermodel to sleep with them if they really wanted to. Mary’s not in their league, and that’s okay.

But if they’re not attracted to her that way then they should at least have the decency to just say so! At least then she could find someone else, get back on Tinder, or even sign up for one of those ProDoms that the CDP has. Darcy said Thor was good, so maybe Mary could request him? The way that Darcy had described the guy, he sounds like he's a hunka hunka burning Nordic god. Mary could go for that.

She brings it up casually over dinner, framing it lightheartedly, and Bucky literally crushes his water glass in his prosthetic hand. “What?” he snaps, frowning down at the mess he’s just made. “No.”

Mary huffs and goes to fetch the desserts while Steve gets the waste bin and begins scraping the broken pieces of glass into it like it’s just another Tuesday. “I don’t see why not,” Mary complains from over at the counter. She’s pulled the plates out from the fridge and grabs the butane torch for the meringue.

“Jesus,” Bucky exclaims when he sees the industrial sized torch she's wielding. “Where’d you get that?”

Mary purses her lips as she focuses on achieving the perfect amount of toastedness. “Hardware store,” she mutters. “So why can’t I go see one of the ProDom’s again?” She purposefully over-torches Bucky’s meringue, because she can tell that this isn’t going to go her way. “Sounds like a win-win. You don’t have to deal with me, I can meet new people, and insurance pays for it. What exactly is the problem?” She’s trying to force him to admit that he doesn’t want to Dom her sexually, trying to get him to see that something’s gotta give and he’ll have to let her use one of the ProDoms eventually if that’s what the severity of her “condition” requires (gigantic ‘Ew’).

But frustratingly, he refuses to engage with her on the topic. “It’s a no, Mare,” he tells her sternly. “Pros are for people who have more experience. You don’t.”

Mary seriously doubts that. “Linda didn’t say that,” she argues, carrying the plates over to the table and handing the nice one to Steve and the burnt one to Bucky.

He pulls it closer to himself and raises an eyebrow at it. “Linda’s being diplomatic,” he mutters. “I thought you said you were making s’mores?”

Yesterday, Bucky had been talking with Steve about how much they both missed their old camping trips they used to take. The two of them must’ve waxed poetic over campfire s’mores for ten whole minutes. So Mary thought this would be an excellent way to butter them up. Apparently not.

She sniffs and picks up her fork. “They are s’mores. It’s a plated dessert, Bucky. An interpretation. It’s not literal.”

He grunts and peers at his portion, poking it dubiously with his fork. “What’s it made of?”

Mary heaves a sigh and snottily recites: “Honey Sablé, 70% Valrhona cremeux, cold-smoked Italian meringue, torched ‘mallow, Graham crumb streusel, and tempered chocolate stick for garnish." Both Bucky and Steve stop poking at their plates and just stare at her for a second.

“Sounds good,” Steve chirps, and digs into his.

Mary stares Bucky down, until he too, deigns to eat the apparently too fancy for him version of a s’more. “Oh, damn,” he says after the first bite, looking taken-aback. “I can taste the smoke.”

Mary preens, then asks again about the ProDom. “Well if I’m not getting it there then who the heck’s supposed to fuck me?” she winds up blurting out of frustration.

When that direct reference doesn’t elicit any response from Bucky besides a barrage of bossy instructions for after-dinner cleanup, Mary loses a bit of the hope she’d been holding onto that maybe Linda was right about them being attracted to her. She just gave him the perfect fucking opening, and he didn’t take it. She gets the kitchen cleaned up from dinner, resigning herself to another evening of platonic domination that doesn’t quite hit the spot.

Nightly drops are nice. Not as nice as they were in the beginning, the effects having waned quite a bit from what they once were, but still better than no drops at all.

Mary sits on her pillow on the floor, head on the couch cushion next to Bucky’s thigh, listening vaguely to the sound of the television while she enjoys the feeling of his fingers carding through her hair, lightly massaging her scalp. It’s been a while now, and she doesn’t think she’s going to get any deeper. It’s late, already they’ve watched two full episodes of their show, and Mary’s got work tomorrow. It’ll be bedtime soon.

A big yawn works its way up in her throat, and Bucky chuckles when it finally breaks free. “Tired?” he asks.

“Mmhm.” She inhales deeply and sits up, sleepy and squinting. It takes a moment before her eyes adjust to the darkness of the room and Bucky’s form sitting right in front of her. Wow, she’d been really close to him, hadn’t realized just how close. Had she been … hugging his shin? God, she hopes not. Not like she hasn’t spent whole evenings fantasizing about rubbing her face all over his thighs and his— Nope. Not gonna think about that when he’s sitting right there. She tears her eyes away and forces that train of thought to stop right in its metaphorical tracks.

“You good, Hon?” Bucky asks, his soft voice drawing her attention back from her own head. She looks up and sees his fond expression, his relaxed posture. Wonders if he’s in Domspace at all. Probably not.

Then her eyes land on the line of his cock at the front of his pants.

He’s hard. Not very, but some. Underneath his sweats his dick is chubbed up enough that it creates a slight bulge against the fabric. Mary freezes, staring for too long before she’s able to tear her eyes away. When she does, and she looks up, Bucky’s watching her with an inscrutable expression. Her breath catches and her mind goes absolutely dumb.

Does he want ..? Should she ..?

She looks back down at it, at the relaxed splay of his thighs. She wets her lips and thinks about reaching forward and sliding her hand over it, what it would feel like, if it would twitch, if Bucky would shiver or make a sound. She wants to touch it, and seriously considers doing so, but when she looks up at Bucky again, he doesn’t look like he’s excited, or anticipating her touching him. He looks … resigned.

“Tired?” he asks kindly. "Do you maybe ... Do you need anything else tonight? From me?"

Mary's lips part, heart leaping at what that might mean ... but then Bucky looks over at Steve with visible yearning in his eyes, and the two of them share one of their silent conversations, brows pinched and expectant.

Oh. Right. Bucky’s just horny and eager to get Steve into bed, wants to wrap this up. Mary wonders if he really can’t tell that she's not far down like she used to get. Maybe he thinks this is all she needs and he really isn’t going to take Linda’s advice seriously. Mary should be happy about that. After all, it’s what she wanted. Isn’t it?

She balls up the hand that she’d been imagining touching Bucky with and nods. “Yeah,” she says. “Yeah, I’m tired. Think I’m gonna … go get ready for bed.”

She glances over at Steve, but he looks mopey and eager to get out of the room just like his husband does, cementing the notion in Mary’s mind that they don’t want to be with her that way. No doubt they will if push comes to shove, because Linda’s told them Mary needs a sexual dynamic, but it’s not something they’re excited about. Mary knows men: They’re not the sort to sit around and wait for a girl they like to make the first move. And certainly not a man like Bucky, of all people.

She tries not to be hurt by it, but still gets a little weepy while brushing her teeth, the unintended rejection stinging more when she’s down in the tingly, vulnerable throes of subspace. She spits, rinses, flosses, rinses. Grabs the mouthwash that she hates to use but that Bucky has ordered her to always use after brushing her teeth at night.

She says goodnight to Steve and Bucky through the safety of her closed bedroom door, and despite her voice being warbly, neither one of them knocks on the door to see what’s up. That drives the point home, and Mary tucks herself into bed with the mindset that she’ll let them know they don’t have to sleep with her just to be nice or to help her or whatever. She’ll just find a way to convince them that she really is fine with going to one of the ProDoms, and that it really is a better arrangement.

Better than a pity fuck, at least.

It’s disappointing to know that Mary prefers the ProDom, that she doesn’t want to make their relationship sexual, but Bucky gets it, and he knows that he shouldn’t be surprised. He’s not exactly an easy person to get along with, after all. He’s prickly as fuck, grumpy, bossy, selfish. And aside from her natural submission, Mary’s personality clashes with his horribly. Steve is essential, but he just isn’t enough to successfully buffer between the two of them—not enough to make her want them that way, at least.

Bucky can see the profound disappointment in Steve’s eyes that night, as Mary doesn’t react the way they were both hoping, doesn’t take the offerings Bucky puts out.

They have to let it be her choice, of course, having planned it out and discussed it between just the two of them. It's all anybody ever talks about in the D/s community these days: making sure subs are the initiators at key moments like this, not letting domination creep in and become manipulation-so easy to do with how naturally vulnerable and people pleasing submissives are. Gone are the days when Doms like Bucky were encouraged to guide new partners in the "right" direction. That leads to too much trauma, too many subs in situations they don't really want. Mary has to be left to make the choice on her own, it's her right.

But it's still the hardest fucking thing for him to do, to just sit there and wait passively. And it still stings when she looks straight at his erection and declares that she’s ready for bed. Well, if it wasn’t clear before.

Steve looks like a friggin’ kicked puppy, as he stands outside of Mary’s closed bedroom door and bids her goodnight. Bucky nudges him in the direction of their own room and murmurs, “Come on, Sweetheart.”

In their bedroom, they each get undressed. Steve continues to mope, so Bucky goes up to him and places a hand on his shoulder and rubs. “Hey. Don’t sulk. You’ve still got me.” Steve’s mouth twitches in a small smile and Bucky’s heart flares with fondness for him. “You wanna play a game?” he offers, leaning in and kissing him once on the lips. “Mm?” He looks down pointedly to both of their boners that haven’t completely lagged since tv time ended.

“Okay.”

Bucky hums and turns, putting his left shoulder out. “Lend a guy a hand?” Steve obliges. He removes the prosthetic arm with practiced motions. Bucky moans quietly at how good it feels to get the heavy weight off. “Fuck.” He rolls his shoulders, cracks his neck each way with a blissed out groan. “Yes.”

“You’ve been wearing it more than usual, lately,” Steve points out, going over to set it on the table at Bucky’s side of the bed. “Why?”

He already knows: Bucky can tell from the way he asks it. He grunts and looks away, refraining from answering. He normally only wears the arm to work and to the gym, skipping it around the house or when he’s just got simple errands to run. There’s a surprising amount he can do just fine without the use of two arms, and he’s been confident about being seen in public without it for a long time now, thanks to Steve and their friends at the V.A. Being self conscious about it again after all these years isn’t something Bucky wants to admit out loud or think about, but Steve isn’t stupid. He can put two and two together.

“Babe,” he says softly, walking back over to stand behind him. He wraps his arms around Bucky’s waist and noses into his neck. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Bucky inhales deeply. “I know. I’m not.” Steve makes a sound that clearly says he doesn’t believe that. But Bucky doesn’t want to talk about it, so he reaches back with the only arm he has to grab playfully at the side of Steve’s ass. “Go in the bathroom. Get the water going how I like.”

Steve groans and thunks his forehead against the back of Bucky’s neck. “Not that game,” he complains, though there’s no conviction to it. He slinks off towards the bathroom to go do as he’s been told. “I hate that game.”

“Fuck you. You love that game.”

Steve shoots him the finger from over his shoulder, but something about his naked body and tight little ass being on display strips the gesture of its animosity. He disappears into the bathroom and Bucky walks over to their bedroom dresser to grab a hair tie, still snickering. He sobers when he takes one from the valet tray and realizes that he’ll have to have Steve tie his hair back. That’s one thing he never could figure out how to do one handed. He stands there and looks in the mirror above the dresser, studying the left side of his body in a way that he rarely does anymore.

He’s gotten so used to it: his life with Steve, whom he knows down to his bones accepts him unconditionally. He’s almost forgotten what it feels like to be self conscious about his body. Bucky hasn’t known how to talk about it, and Mary hasn’t asked. She’s seen him with his sleeves rolled up to the elbow, or in tee shirts at the gym, but that’s all so far. Sometimes he’ll catch her looking, but he’s got no clue what she’s thinking. He considers his reflection, looks at the scars and puckered skin, the implanted base of the arm where his stump used to be. He doesn’t like the uncomfortability of being critical of his body again. In a way, he almost resents Mary for it, for making that feeling come back after all these years. Silly, he knows.

“Babe?” Steve’s voice calls out from the bathroom. Bucky’s ears register the sound of rushing water. “You coming?”

Bucky inhales deeply and decides it doesn’t matter anyway. Mary wants a ProDom, not them, so he doesn’t have to stress over what she thinks about any part of his body, let alone the one part he doesn’t have.

“Yeah.” He turns his back to the judgmental mirror and heads towards his very non-judgmental best guy.

“Okay. Stop clenching.”

Steve exhales shakily, but he does obey, body slumping back against the end of the tub as he relaxes his muscles. “Fuck,” he breathes, overwhelmed.

“Hand too, Baby.”

His hand abandons his dick in the bathwater. “Ungh.”

Bucky smiles lazily and rubs the side of his foot against Steve’s hip in praise. “Good boy.”

They’re in the bathtub together, opposite ends, legs tangled. Their combined bulk displaces the water all the way up to above their shoulders, but that’s part of the game: they’re not allowed to splash on the floor, so they can’t jerk off very hard or fast. First one to splash water on the floor is the automatic loser and has to bottom the next time they fuck (Bucky added that little caveat because he’s very good at not splashing, whereas Steve is hopelessly clumsy and overeager ). “How you doing, Sweetheart?” he asks, drinking in the sight of Steve with his lips parted, chest heaving, squirming. He’s pink from temple to tits, flushed from the bathwater and arousal both, and Bucky loves it. “You’re not close already, are you?” he tuts, grinning. “So sensitive.”

“Buck,” Steve croaks, heated eyes dragging over Bucky’s body at the other end of the tub where he’s still gently jerking himself off. “Please.”

Bucky affords himself another toe-curlingly good swipe over the head of his dick before he nods. “Okay. Slow. Just like me”

Steve huffs and wraps his hand back around himself, stroking his dick in slow, measured strokes, just like Bucky said. Bucky’s guts warm and another heady rush of dominance swirls low in his belly at watching Steve do exactly as he says. “You can start workin’ it again, too,” he says.

Steve moans gratefully. “Thank you. Fuck.” His abs start clenching, his body straining again with visible tension as he works the Aneros that’s seated up inside him. Under the water, his knees move in and out in that instinctive motion as he tries to rock it just right. But it’s hard to do it with the water so high, and more than once he catches himself and holds back at the sight of the bathwater sloshing precariously close to the lip of the tub. At one point he gasps and his eyes slam shut, and Bucky figures the toy must’ve shifted to press even more directly against his prostate.

“Ooh, does that feel good, Stevie?”

Steve peeks his eyes open, glaring across the way at him. “You know it does.”

Bucky does, in fact, know exactly how good it feels—because he’s got another of the exact same toy inside of himself, right now. “I don’t know why you still agree to play this game,” he taunts, grunting from the effort of holding back his own moan as his prostate gets a firm prod from the head of the toy. “You—nngh—you always wind up losing.”

“Yeah, well …” Steve’s throat bobs as he swallows heavily. “Maybe I don’t mind you coming out on top, sometimes.”

“Sometimes,” Bucky scoffs, but he’s breathing heavier than he was thirty minutes ago, his composure slipping the longer he works the toy inside himself and jerks himself off agonizingly slowly underneath the water. In fact, he’s not even sure it even counts as jerking off at this slow a pace.

Edging is something he’d introduced Steve to early on in their relationship, as soon as he’d realized how delightfully sensitive his new boyfriend was. And Steve, the big idiot, had worried Bucky wouldn’t like it, had actually thought of it as a negative! An absurd notion that Bucky promptly disabused him of. Watching his ungodly sexy blond behemoth of a husband whine and squirm and struggle to hold himself in check is one of the fucking hottest things Bucky’s ever seen—and he’s seen a lot. He’d been a bit of a manwhore back in his heyday, racking up the bodies as he fought to find himself as a Dom and accept the body an IED had left him with.

Steve, his overly-sensitive, glorious hunk of a then-boyfriend, had helped him to do both. And it’s times like this where Bucky remembers just how goddamn lucky he is. Having Steve to love and fuck around with feels like the best gift in the world.

At the other end of the tub, the water sloshes as something he’s done to himself makes Steve’s breath hitch in another helpless moan. He tosses his head back for a moment, eyes clamped shut as his expression crumples beautifully and he whimpers. Bucky’s ass clenches down hard in arousal at the sight, which only makes the toy in his ass rub over his prostate that much better. His cock throbs as his pleasure flares dangerously high. Fuck, he wants to come.

Licking his lips, he decides it's time to end this. His balls are pulled up too close to his body, taut and full and aching for release. Trying to school his breathing into something resembling nonchalance is a lost cause, and his face feels almost as flushed as Steve’s looks right now. Bucky decides to call it, because even though he’s the automatic favorite to win this game every time, he is capable of losing, if he gets too caught up in ogling Steve’s body and reactions and doesn’t focus enough on playing his cards right. “Okay,” he finally says, smirking when Steve’s head jerks back to attention, his irises visibly flaring in excitement. “Yeah, Baby. It’s time.”

“Fuck.”

“You ready for the home stretch?” He waggles his eyebrows and lets his head rest back against the tub, spreading his legs wider and keeping his eyes on Steve. “Gotta keep up,” he instructs, even though Steve already knows how this goes. When Bucky tightens his hand and speeds up the pace of how fast he’s jerking himself off, Steve copies him. That’s how it is at the end of this—totally-rigged-in-Bucky’s-favor—game. They both jerk off at the pace that Bucky sets, and the first one to splash water on the floor or come is the loser. It’s not very fair, but Bucky never claimed he was a fair guy. He is, in fact, selfish as fuck.

Lucky for him, Steve’s into that.

“Fuck,” Steve pants from his end of the tub. He slides down lower, keeping more of his body under the water in an attempt to prevent splashing. It’s a futile effort, though, because he’s doomed to lose anyway with the faster pace that Bucky’s set. Already, he’s going lobster red in the face, brow pinched and desperate, knees knocking the sides of the tub as he compulsively works the toy in his ass.

The arousal in Bucky’s gut coils tighter at the sight. “Watch my hand,” he warns, when he notices Steve slacking off. “Gotta match it, Baby.”

“I am.”

“Tighter,” he says, eyes gleaming. “And stop avoiding the head. I can see you cheatin’ over there, Punk.”

Steve whimpers, and Bucky knows that he really wasn’t going as tight as he is, because Steve’s hand changes its hold and he starts getting the head of his dick with the same intensity that Bucky is. Bucky grins open mouthed, panting. “Atta boy.”

“You should—ugn.” Steve grimaces. “Should get a penalty, for being cut. I should get an extra, nnnh, th-thirty seconds, at least.”

Bucky laughs, because trust Steve to think of a sportsman’s solution to the inequity of their dicks. Steve being uncut means that it takes less intense stimulation for him to come. They both know this, Bucky loves this, and again: he never claimed the game was fair. “No penalty,” he grunts, speeding up his pace even further. Steve’s eyes widen but he matches it. Bucky grits his teeth. He can hold out long enough. Steve’ll blow in seconds at this pace.

And sure enough, it’s not even twenty seconds later when Steve is crying out, body tensing and muscles straining gorgeously as he seizes up and starts to come. “Agh!” His knees fling out hard and hit the sides of the tub, splashing water over the lip to the floor below. But he hasn’t even noticed, he’s so lost to his orgasm. His asshole is twitching, sucking on the Aneros as the contractions of his body pull the toy up against his prostate again and again, drawing the pleasure out. He shoves down hard in the water and shouts louder, as though he’s getting a second orgasm on top of the first. “Ohnfuck …”

Bucky groans as he watches it happen: Steve’s gorgeous face and juddering hips, big hand wringing up hard underneath the head the whole way through. The fucking sounds he makes, Jesus wept. It’s leagues better than any porn Bucky’s ever seen. “Fuck, Baby,” he praises. “Yes. Fuck that’s so hot …”

Steve’s hand keeps working the whole way through, only abandoning his cock once it’s fully spent and softening, the cloudy ribbons of his cum floating away in the bathwater. “Fuck,” he exhales hugely once it’s done, letting his body go lax and slump so far down that only his face is above the waterline.

Bucky grunts and spreads his legs wider, not heeding the splashing rule now that he’s already won. The water splashes precariously as he shoves his hips down and down and down, squeezing the shape of the toy inside so fucking perfectly. Fuck, it feels fucking good working over his spot like that. “Oghnnn,” he pants, grunting and groaning and jerking his cock hard. “Fuck, Baby. You’re so fucking pretty. Fuck. M’gonna cum …”

Steve gives a sated hum from his end of the tub. Bucky can sense him shifting in the water, and then gasps when he feels the ball of Steve’s foot gently press up on his balls. His eyes fly open and he looks down. “Oh, shit,” he whispers. “Fuck, fuck.”

Steve grins and rubs his foot against him. And Bucky doesn’t have that fetish, but there’s something so fucking perverse about seeing Steve’s toes up against his balls that it turns his brain to mush anyway and pushes him right on over into orgasm. He shoots off beneath the water, stroking and thrusting and moaning—and probably splashing water all over the floor just as badly as Steve ever has.

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animeyanderelover · 5 months

Text

Tags: @shumidehiro @leveyani @izanami78

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationship, toxic relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional mindset, stalking, manipulation, gaslighting, sadism, paranoia, co-dependency, threats, blackmailing, isolation, abduction, death

Yandere Bungou Stray Dogs Hc’s

Jouno Saigiku

♦️Jouno may not be able to see but as a compensation for his lack of vision, he is able to pick up on so much more than the average human. He can read someone's emotions based on their heartbeat, their breathing pattern and even their blood flow and that is perhaps the most terrifying aspect of having him obsessing over you. He knows you better than anyone else as you are essentially an open box for him as all secrets are always spelled out by the melody of your body. There is no privacy for you when around him and Jouno abuses and uses all of this against you. At first he is more subtle about how he presents himself before you, careful with the words he chooses and the secrets he reveals about you. Even if he is so composed, there is this certain creepiness he has as he gives you a small smile and sometimes his sadistic side seeps through as he torments you more to relish in your rapid heartbeat and the unease he can sense inside of you even if you try to hide it desperately.

♦️It is fairly easy for Saigiku to track you down even among other people, your heartbeat a special song he has engraved in his mind and your voice a siren's song that pulls him in as soon as he hears it. Jouno is stalking you, he follows you as he remembers the places you visit often until he can almost predict where he can find you if he has free time and wishes to see you. He exhibits some very possessive traits as he doesn't enjoy other people you keep around you as he is a man who could never imagine himself sharing you with someone and unfortunately even friends and family are put in this category. You feel this growing dread as weeks pass by until he pulls the rag from beneath your feet as he organises for the government to place you under special security and ensure that you are always kept within his reach. Saigiku tells you that it would be better for you to just get used to your new lifestyle because he surely won't let you leave his side again. It's your fault being such an adorable and interesting thing~

♦️Truthfully spoken, Saigiku belongs in a category where he is overall most of the time more possessive than he is jealous. If he had to describe to you how he feels when he senses you conversing with someone else, he'd just bluntly tell you that he just doesn't enjoy it. He has never enjoyed hearing you talking with someone else unless it was necessary and he ensures that your abilities to speak with a lot of people besides himself are limited as soon as you are where he wants to have you. Especially when he is with you he would greatly appreciate it if you were to refrain for ignoring him for someone else but even if he is on missions, you aren't able to talk with a lot of people. Most of them just ignore you out of fear of Jouno because no one has the courage to talk to you, much less flirt with you because Saigiku will always find out. Worst is that you are in most cases also made a scapegoat and punished which manages to scare you away from any unnecessary conversation. The only people you can chat with without too much consequences are the other Hunting Dogs.

♦️Despite Saigiku often trying to appear like the most civilized one of the Hunting Dogs, he's still just as violent as everyone else. He just tries to hide it better behind his composure. He doesn't take any injustice or disregard of his rules lightly though. You are often punished when you don't behave as you ignore the rules he has told you about and the same counts for others. Harsh threats are often given out despite his calm expression as he is not afraid to threaten and wish ill will upon those who he takes orders from. His sadistic nature makes him quite the terrifying enemy if someone dares to commit any injustice against you because he has never taken crimes lightly and he takes it even more seriously when it comes to you. You know that he doesn't just give a criminal who tried to harm you just a simple death because that would be too easy. No. he'll make them regret the day their pitiful existence came to be in this world.

♦️Saigiku gives you the most legal abduction as the government decides to support him for this one thing. They can't risk one of their Hunting Dogs potentially being distracted because of you and Jouno knows this and uses this to have them agree. It's undeniable that you are his soft spot and as much as he dislikes you for making him feel more vulnerable, he knows that he has to preserve you somewhere for this exact reason. If enemies would find out about you, they would without a doubt come for you since you are an easier target than the Hunting Dog himself. The mere thought of someone using you against him only because you hold such meaning for him is almost humiliating so prevent anyone from ever using you against him, he locks you away and keeps you fairly isolated. the government covers your disappearance up as not even friends and family are ever allowed to figure out what happened to you.

♦️It's best for you if you learn how to keep your emotions properly under control because otherwise you will get on his nerves. Jouno is incredibly insensitive to strong emotions because he can pick up on them so well and for that they annoy him. So it isn't uncommon for him to leave you alone when you have a mental breakdown and just tell you harshly and coldly to calm down before he goes. He just never gives you a break, especially the first few months after he has abducted you. It's all harsh and humiliating words as you aren't able to lie or hide anything from him because he always senses it as your own body betrays you. Eventually he slowly starts adjusting though as he learns to deal better with your emotions although he is still very hesitant to allow himself to be more vulnerable around you. He can’t say that he doesn’t enjoy it though, knowing that he’s the one who protects you.

Suehiro Tetchou

🌸Tetchou is much more pure in comparison to Jouno as his desires lie in the genuine wish to protect you from any harm. Although this simple desire can drastically escalate because he is very protective. In fact Tetchou is so protective to the point where he can delude himself into believing that what he has done was the right thing to do even if his actions have caused you sorrow and fear. He’d never hurt you, he knows that. So tears and sadness from you tear away at his core belief and almost as if in a way to cope with the situation and to not break down, he deludes himself into believing that he knows better. He’s a Hunting Dog after all, he has experienced so much more than you could ever in your entire life. His decisions are based on those experiences you have never endured nor will ever have to endure now that he’s in your life. Don’t hate him for he has only done what is best for you.

🌸Having already established this man as someone who is tattering on the side of delusional thoughts, it should be pointed out that it takes Tetchou a good while until he has even figured out his own feelings for you. He initially never suspects his feelings to be of romantic nature as he sticks with you whenever he has the time nor when his mind is constantly drifting to you multiple times a day. Surely you mean much to him but not in that way…right? Somehow he remains oblivious to his feelings or perhaps he is just not willing to acknowledge his feelings to keep the lid sealed on his obsession. Acknowledging means losing to his obsession and almost unconsciously he seems to be aware of that and attempts to deny his feelings. Until either time wears him down or a trigger happens which causes everything to just explode out of him with such an intensity that it almost overwhelms him.

🌸Much more lenient than some other Hunting Dogs, Tetchou attempts to let you keep as much of your freedom as he can. That includes your social life as long as no one poses a threat for you. He doesn’t mind your friends and family and if they are loyal and friendly, he acknowledges them as people who have helped you through your life so far. Jealousy is low-key a bit awkward for Tetchou though as he stands there and stares at the other person as if trying to decipher why the hell they trigger such nasty feelings within him. He isn’t overly vocal though as he is more the type to admit at one point very bluntly that he wants them to not step so close to you or that he doesn’t like them talking to you all whilst standing right behind you or stepping protectively in front of you. At this point he has held it in for too long and usually tries to end the interaction.

🌸He isn’t nearly as patient or enduring when it comes to his wants to protect you. He is quick and acts as swiftly as possible. Tetchou wouldn’t admit it to you but he runs a brief investigation on everyone you keep close to you to be completely sure that he can trust them. If anyone is suspicious, he has small remorse to cut them out of your life until he has found out everything he needs to know. He is a very strong advocate for justice and whilst he wouldn’t be as discriminating as Jouno when it comes to everyone who has a bit of a bad history, he isn’t lenient either. He’d prefer to only have good and honest people surrounding you and with his delusional belief that ultimately he does what is best for you, he can be strict and harsh under certain circumstances when he cuts your ties with people who physically or mentally abuse you and he has no guilt when he delivers the deadly blow if someone should pose a severe threat for your life.

🌸If he should ever erupt with the most likely trigger being your own life being in danger, he will use the same method as Saigiku. He will request special custody for you. That includes the isolation and your mysterious disappearance as he is fully aware what that will do to you. Your disappointed and resentful eyes cut deeper than his own sword ever cut as he feels something slowly collapsing. This is when his own defense fully kicks in as he builds those delusional walls to protect himself from going insane. He reaches the peak of his delusional behavior as he genuinely insists that what he does is only for your own good. Whilst he still understands why you are upset, he prioritizes your safety over your freedom. Sometimes you just can’t have both of those options coexisting with each other and have to sacrifice one of them. He has decided to sacrifice your freedom for your safety.

🌸Tetchou probably is one of the most normal people from the Hunting Dogs. He still has his fair share of weird quirks but most of them are quite cute for the most part. This man could literally stare at you for hours if he has the time and You can’t even remember that you see him blinking much whenever he does so. He’s kind enough to share his strange mixtures of same-colored food with you and legitimately doesn’t seem to understand what you find so appalling about it. He’s rather chill most of the times as he just lets you decide what you two should do. As long as he can accompany you, he doesn’t complain much and is alright with most of the stuff you do together with him. Be careful though if you ever have a cuddle session with him as he is very reluctant to let you leave his hold once he has you in his arms.

Nikolai Gogol

🕊️Nikolai is a wonderful actor as he stumbles in your life, parading as someone who is perfectly normal and despite being extremely crazed in reality, you don't suspect anything. Because he does such a wonderful job in hiding everything he is. Above all what stands out about Nikolai is his unique obsession he has with you as he isn't quite possessive in a normal sense. He envies the birds able to fly freely in the sky without any chains binding them yet here he is, shackled with the chains of his own feelings which rob him of his capability, his right, to soar high into the sky. His obsession is the heaviest of those chains and behind his sweet smile he hides a deep resentment against you for caging him in like this. His fantasies range from sweet and innocent images of both of you sharing a passionate kiss with each other to truly deranged ones where he is choking and strangling you and both make his heart beat equally enraptured out of his chest to the point where he doesn't know what he wants.

🕊️Nikolai is surely also very sadistic because as his lover you should also take part in his suffering. He stalks you, follows you and even breaks into your house as he slowly induces you with paranoia without ever revealing himself. He watches with delight as you slowly start losing your sanity as he forces your paranoid mind to push away and reject all the people in your life as they start seeing you as mentally ill which has you shedding tears as you don't even know yourself anymore. It escalates until only he is left to soothe your tears, his grip occasionally tightening on your face as you wipes your tears away with his thumb, a sweet grin on his face that slowly darkens. Sometimes he has a hard time taming his dark impulses as his eyes dart to your neck, his hands brushing against it as he has to swallow slightly when he feels your pulse underneath his palms. Suddenly you feel him squeezing your neck in a slowly tightening hold and only when you look confused and startled up does he snap out of it and returns to his harmless grin.

🕊️Jealously is a burden to Nikolai as it is only a heavy chain more that ties him down to you. He feels like he is forced into acting as this feeling always presses onto his chest as he watches you with someone else. A part of him despises how carefree you look, so liberated from any negative emotions whilst he is left silently suffering behind you. How dare you? How dare you to rob him of his freedom whilst enjoying yourself so much? He plays quite the despicable play whenever he feels this pressuring jealousy wrapping itself around his body like a rope he can't free himself from as he resents you equally as much as the one you interacted with. He will punish both his darling and the other person for their low and infuriating display of emotions, for their crime of looking so free whilst he is left chasing after his own.

🕊️Death through his hands is genuinely horrifying as he treats it all like a twisted game. He dangles the option of escape always in front of his victim's nose only to shatter that illusion seconds before they could get away from him. If he can't get his own freedom, they won't either. Worst is that not only people who are involved with you get involved with this. He occasionally lets you play one of those games too as he literally just collects people from the street who mildly annoy him upon first impression. As cruel the deaths of those people are, they aren't his real victims but merely pawns in his game where the main attraction will be your downfall into madness and hopelessness. You are forced to follow the twisted rules of his game as he sometimes even forces you to kill those innocent people yourself. He enjoys your downfall into despair though. You don't look that free anymore yourself as the chains of guilt and terror keep you down on the ground. At least both of you are on the same page now~

🕊️For quite a long time Nikolai just seems to play around with you like a child would with their favorite toy. He follows you around as your stalker and masked nightmare whilst simultanously taking the role of your only friend at one point as everyone else abandons you. He just enjoys to see your struggles as he loves observing you as every tear you shed and every mental breakdown you have has him feeling a bit better about his own fate as he extracts his revenge upon you. There is no real plan to this abduction besides a simple and random will of his. Both of you could be literally anywhere before he suddenly reveals his other side to you and admits to you that he has been the one who has driven you over the edge and that he was the one who made you doubt your own sanity. There's a gleeful grin on his face as he drinks in your horrified expression. Dove, did he ever tell you that you would look lovely in a cage?

🕊️You have to fear for your life constantly each and every day from that day on as you always have to prepare for the worst possible. Nikolai's behavior can switch so suddenly as he is quite unpredictable. In one moment he could shower you with kisses before he suddenly presses a knife against your neck and you can feel a thin trail of blood trickling down only to go back to kissing the wound on your neck again affectionately. It is a torture to not know what might be happening. Unknown to you though, not Nikolai knows anymore what he should do. In one moment he wishes to feel your cold and lifeless skin under his fingers and in the next he wants to just cuddle and shower you in affection. Your death and your life both seem equally appealing to him as he feels the chains tightening around his body as he always lacks the final push to murder you. The next time, he always tells himself. There's always the next time.

Sigma

☁️Sigma is an utterly dedicated man who has come to terms that his whole reason for existence can be found in you. His purpose is pinpointed back to you and so with a finally concrete goal in life, he almost throws himself willingly into the pitfall of his own obsession. Perhaps a part of him can rationalise why you are so unappy with your current situation as well as why his feelings are wrong from several perspectices. Yet Sigma would take this new obsession anyday over the dark and empty tear inside of him that used to grow everyday because he didn't know of his purpose of being in this world. So whilst his guilt is enough for you to occasionally manipulate him and enough to make him spoil you in his attempts to appease you and give you happiness, it isn't enough so that he would ever allow you to leave his side. He's too selfish to ever let you abandon him and leave him all lost and shattered.

☁️With a fierce determination and a feeling of need inside of his heart, he memorizes everything about you until he could repeat it at any given time. He has a duty to know everything about you from the food you enjoy to the allergies to please you and fulfill you your wishes like no one else could. When one of the information he has gotten proves to be wrong or outdated, he panics quickly as he apologizes over and over again to you. Sigma is certainly very paranoid that anything could happen to you so there are cameras installed in the large room he has specifically designed for you in his casino so that he can always check what is going on if he should feel uneasy. Then there are also special guards assigned to not let you leave or to accompany you at the very least if you should go somehwere.

☁️Sigma is for sure on a more insecure side so he is prone to jealousy which is induced by paranoia and fear that you might try to leave him for someone else. He needs a lot of reassurance from your side in any form to feel more peaceful with his life and better about his own existence because if you were to truly try to leave him for someone better, he would have failed his only purpose in life. It's this unease that often leads him into keeping you isolated more than he should as he is so incredibly skittish to let you go under other people. Even if he allows you on certain days to chat with some of the customers, he somehow can't ease his controlling grip as he schedules purposely for you to end up talking with people he has studied beforehand and has paired up with you with the thought that they wouldn't appeal to you for different reasons. Please don't hold it against him. He's just so terrified that you might want to leave him for someone else.

☁️He's probably the member of the Decay of Angels that would be considered the most harmless because despite his paranoia, Sigma isn't sadistic nor does he take the act of murder lightly. He takes so much preparation for you to never run into any sort of troubles and for his Sky Casino to never be attacked in any way or shape that he already keeps trouble often away before it can appear. That doesn't mean that he won't take extreme measurements if anything should ever pop up that might endanger your life. As skittish and insecure Sigma might be at times he is definitely putting up a different facade when your life is in danger as you are the one thing he can not effort to lose. So even the act of killing someone will be ordered by him if he can't think of any other way to solve this issue. As guilty as he might feel for it at times, he is still clinging onto the thought that at least their death ensured that you wouldn't be in any harm.

☁️An abduction with Sigma is bound to happen, although he takes a less rough and violent approach to it. He is planning the entire thing weeks before it happens as he reads every information about you he could get his hands on and then prepares and designs the room himself with what he thinks you would love most. He puts so much heart and soul into it because he only strives for perfection when it comes to you that you would almost feel flattered if you wouldn't be permanently stuck in this suite now. You don't even know what he has in mind when he one day nervously asks you to come with him only to lead you into this room before offering you a drink, spiked with drugs. He explains everything hastily you just before the drugs start taking effects and you start feeling sluggish and tired and don't possess the strength needed to rebel against his sudden declaration that he can't let you leave him anymore.

☁️Getting into arguments with you is never good for his mentality especially if you harshly critize him and he can basically feel your resentment and your hatred festering inside of him. He needs your approval, he needs your affection because otherwise his existence will never feel validated. He showers you in presents of clothes, food, jewelry and hundreds of other things he hopes you enjoy in an attempt to appease you and lessen your anger against him. Sigma has a hard time leaving you alone for even a few hours as he gets quickly anxious and uneasy without your presence and checking the cameras he has installed inside your room only help that long. So he often pays you short visits in between his work to bask in your presence for a bit and to calm himself down before going back to his work. Even with his composed image in his workplace, he is awfully easy to tease and to fluster as his face quickly flushes red whenever you show him affection and he is especially shy when it comes to physical affection because you're literally the first one to do about everything with him. From the first hug to the first kiss.

#yandere bungo stray dogs #yandere bungou stray dogs #yandere bsd #yandere jouno #yandere jouno saigiku #yandere tetchou yandere suehiro tetchou #yandere nikolai #yandere nikolai gogol #yandere sigma

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