At the end it's the person we think about when we are half asleep, wishing they were there to hold you
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His smile was like an ornamental knife
presented in a painted box,
like warm, yet glaring sunlight,
like icicles melting, like cardboard ripping apart to be recycled
like a stubborn hurricane with a tantrum and I
was standing right in the eye of it,
like burning soup on the winter solstice, like
a thorny rose
a hive full of bees and honey
an overflowing river drowning the grass until it couldn’t
be anything else but green.
Like the screech of a microphone,
like the pachinko machines in Tokyo,
like metal against whetstone,
a window shattering, a bone snapping back
into place in an antiseptic room,
like a blinding eclipse,
uneven chair legs, like a wolf prowling
the shadows, like the burn
of alcohol on an open wound,
striking a match against sandpaper,
the thunk of an arrow finding its mark,
a cat hissing at his own reflection,
like lemon wedges shoved into my cheeks
like velvet rubbed the wrong way
like a thousand paper cuts
and not enough bandaids, like the Lochness monster
who shouldn’t even exist, like a streak of paint,
like being socked in the gut five times, enough to make me nauseous
like knocking back cough medicine,
like the light-headed sensation of getting the flu shot
and cradling the bruise three days later.
— bittersweet (h.a.l.) | based on Sweet Like a Crow by Michael Ondaajte
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the hunt
The afternoon is only barely melting into evening when we find
the corpse on the side of the road. A deer, yes? Yes, deer --
cracked open like a pomegranate from belly to arched neck,
ribcage yawning wide. I stretch the vowels of your name until
I feel my own jaw pop. How lovely the body is when it pushes
itself too far, how beautiful to feel the consequence. I have often
yearned for consequence, and a boundary within which to feel it,
be it your open questing arms or the uneasy threat of a car head-
light’s yellow pool. The blood on the body is not vibrant unless
it is illuminated. The deer is murky-dark except for where the light
catches black syrup and shames it red, and I know I am not this kind
of animal because I feel safe in the glow, where I am seen by you.
Is there another animal you’d rather be? (Dear, yes? Yes, dear --)
I would give you either half of this wishbone, help you suck the
marrow from the shank. Crack into this evening with me, take a
leg before the maggots come; fresh kill leads very quickly to rot
and not all rot gives you wine. Sometimes all you get is the dead
and then you have to decide which part to eat, tossing dirt over
whatever is left behind. I have found that the predators are the ones
who know how to hold themselves still. Will you prove me wrong?
You tuck hair behind your ear and I see just where to put my teeth,
if I can bear to bare them, tonguing over an incisor until it stings.
Trust tastes like copper, like rust, and I imagine my car’s body
hovering over the deer’s like a wolf with its engine humming. It’s
that sound that gives me pause. Rumble of engine, rumble of purr.
There is nothing that I would not be for you. I would follow you,
nice and quiet, until the flash of violence and slick hot spill.
Wouldn’t you like that, to be quiet? Would you prefer I be nice?
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exodus (08.17.20)
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a study in mourning | kmp
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i used to shine,
i used to be gold,
now i find,
my soul has gone cold;
bu the fire in my eyes,
it never did die;
it keeps me warm,
it ignites my storm.
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Silver and blue flame
Burn through me, through my spirit
‘Till I’m naught but smoke
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why are crows considered a morbid bird
maybe cuz murder is the word for a group of them
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"Cradled by a crown of gray rain
This morning's meant to be dreary
Slept off the tired but not the pain
Still echoes of last night's folly -
He kissed the sorry off his lips
supple and bitter and bleeding
Battered and bruised, healing
Theirs was an affair for keeps."
't'was years ago before he left'
- dragging on a chapter
to be the whole book
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I’m bad at poems but this is how I’m feeling so 🤷🏻♀️
Paranoia
Insecurity
These two things have become too familiar to me.
My perspective is shot
Doesn’t matter where I am,
How I feel,
Who I’m with
My thoughts are intrusive to the point of abusive.
I don’t know who I am and I can’t silence these two close “friends”
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poetry teeters on the edge of insanity
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Hey guys,
Sorry that I am not active here but
I'm on Instagram as @londonblossom.poetry. Install the app to follow my photos and videos. https://www.instagram.com/invites/contact/?i=11k7d0graha7e&utm_content=8k71b9z
Thank you so much ❤️ and I hope you have a beautiful day!
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ACT I
you are a serpent parading as a white knight
and i am the maiden who knows better and falls anyway
you are the master to my puppet strings
but you don’t feel like a master
and these don’t feel like strings
is this what love is in the wake of devastation?
ACT II
this love was just beginning to bloom
this love still lives in the aftermath of your destruction
i don’t want it to, yet it survives; an aching, somber thing in my chest
it must be real. nothing else carves a soul hollow like love.
but it is not as heavy as my rage, an unsettled storm, the ocean before a flood
you once said we were similar, you and i
you may grow to regret that comparison.
you will.
i will make sure of it.
— vengeance will not be sweet, but it will be necessary (h.a.l) | written for @the-darklings
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MY SOUL IS A YOUNG FRUIT BAT
He awakens at sundown and
stretches his soft hungry jaw,
thirsting for the sun-burst pleasure
of sinking tiny pinprick teeth
into the yielding flesh of a mango.
He would bite the moon –
the orange-yellow prayer that hangs
heavy on the highest branch –
but his calls to her do not echo back
and there are other fruits to eat with
small upside down baby hands
and a face joyously wet with juice,
wet with the consequence of wanting.
At dawn he will curl up
in the tender hollow of my chest,
folding thin-veined wings around
the noise he makes to find his way
back home to me. Vellum and
high yearning sound
(ah! ah! ah!)
that my heart chirps back.
This is how I find my way to you.
I cry out and you make the same cry,
the taste of the call welling up sweet and
green-gold-red beneath the curl of my tongue.
I bend to kiss you and it is dusk again
in my soul, your arms laced
around me are my bat-box, my roost.
My dim cave and the soft-near bodies
of my family nestled close as well.
In your embrace, the moon
returns my hunger pang.
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after the war (04.03.20)
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wonder
i say “hi” when i get home from practice
he says “bye” when he leaves for games
we sit in silence during car rides
and i wonder why
i wonder why i’m not good enough
why he hates me
why he knows nothing about me
and why i know nothing about him
is it something wrong with me?
until i start to think
and i think that maybe
blame is easier than accountability
because i have the power
i have the power to make an effort
to consciously try
but i don’t
instead i wonder
i wonder why
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