#but youll be so much better off once you stop denying yourself the help you need | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

traci0417 · 4 years

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So I had an concept that just exploded in my head & I have to post this somewhere. No idea if this has already been done, but please let me know if it has so I can tag stories like it.

V long post- sorry. I’ll add a ‘read more’ if I can.

[spoliers, trauma, angst, alt trespasser ending, abandonment, found family ect - Youll get it in a min]

•Imagine if the inquisitor was a child. A little slip of an elven girl no more than 12. Who was simply at the wrong place at the wrong time. Her mother, a scout for her clan who wanted to bring her too curious daughter to see shems In person.

•Cassandras heart cracks at the sight of the kneeling prisoner in the cell. They didn’t even bother restraining her, the chains slipped off her thin wrists any time she moved. She’s a child! A child! Cassandra looks down, and the girl looks up at her with too big, too green bloodshot eyes. The tear stains on her face finally break Cassandras resolve, in the best way she can, she kneels, & as gently as Cassandra can, she asks “What happened?” The girl hiccups, her face crumples into another sob, and in between gasps she tells her all she knows.

•The trek up the mountain is no easy feat on a good day- So nevermind adding holding the hand of a little elf and fighting demons in the mix. But they do well, the girl doesn’t get in the way or scream every time an attack comes to close- then halfway up, the girl picks up a discarded mages staff, “So you are a mage?” The girl looks up at the seeker, cracking the first smile the woman has seen from her ,”With arms like these, I don’t think I’d do too well with a sword.” Cassandra gives a rare chuckle, ”no, I suppose not- are you proficient enough to defend yourself?” The elf stands straighter, “yes ma’am” “Then you must protect yourself well- we still have much to go.” And they continued.

•When Solas sees her- he feels something shoot him through the heart- grief? Remorse? You are only a child, I am so sorry, I have put you on a path that was not meant for you, you survived only for me to set you on the path of death once again. He is so angry, so enraged, it was not enough for Fen’Harel to damn his world, but in order to set it right he has to put a burden too great on a child? There is no atonement for what he means to do- but every time he sees that green glow on too small hands- he truly feels like the monster that this world thinks he is.

•Back at haven, she is getting more life back, her spirits are high despite the odds, She asks too many questions, but no one can deny her. Every time they see her flit about the encampment, smiling and laughing with the soldiers, the blacksmiths, no one knows how they should treat her, the herald, so they treat her as a child. She sits with Lilianna while she is writing messages, asks if she can help, and lilianna gives a gentle smile, because no way the girl can copy down & understand the codes needed, “I think just you being here helps” and the girls smile is filled with such joy that the spymasters heart aches- after she leaves, and goes to ask Jospehine, Cullen, Varrik, Blackwall, Bull & Solas a million questions- they all th ink the same thing after she turns in for the night. A child must bear this burden- we are so sorry for the pain that you must go though- we are so sorry that we cannot help you more, you were not meant for this path, but we will protect you with our lives.

•Despite the odds, she saves everyone. Haven is destroyed, she faced an arch demon, but she lived. The small settlement blooms with newfound hope because the herald is back. Solas holds her hand while she sleeps on the cot, healing magic Long spent, but he cannot bear to leave her, he underestimated her, she sacrificed herself, this little elf barely even 12, had saved them and faced against the abomination- Solas is in awe- he vows to protect her better. The advisers looked to her cot, seeing her sleeping body, tears running down their faces, although no one says anything about it, they’ve never been so relieved. They all vow to protect her better.

•Although the ceremony is symbolic, and the sword is taller than her, she accepted. Did her best to keep the sword steady.- but, naming her inquisitor was something they never wanted to put on her.

in the war room, hours before the ceremony had taken place, Josephine, with teary eyes and a lump in her throat, looks at red faced Cullen & Cassandra, who have been screaming at her for the better part of an hour. (“How could we even consider this!?” “She is a child, she has already done enough for us!” “We cannot possibly put more responsibility on those shoulders!” “Isn’t this needlessly cruel?”) Josephine stands taller, even though she has never felt so small,”I cannot think of a worse thing to do to her- but to name her inquisitor gives us a political edge, if we do not have a clear appointed leader, we will not be taken seriously- and to not name the only one who can close the rifts, the herald of Andraste, the inquisitor- would be political suicide.” “Damn the game!” Cullen bellows, “no amount of coin or favor can be worth what we are putting her though!” Lelianna has stayed silent, but as Cullen finishes his outburst, she clears her throat, and whispers, “we must.” And with that, the fight leaves the advisors, and despair replaces it.

•She loves freely, as only a child can, despite the sorrow. She triumphs, she charms, she is one of the strongest mages Solas has ever seen. She calls him Hahren & he calls her Da’Len. She never strays far from him, and it is clear to all that she loves the apostate & there is little Solas can do but love her just as much. it could just be homesickness on her part- but the attachment that she has formed with the mage, one cannot help but think it is that of what a daughter forms with a father.

•Solas is weak against her, as is everyone, but Solas in particular. Which is ironic considering he tried everything to put up a boundary between them- he knows how this will turn out- but he is helpless against the too curious, too bright eyes. He has infinite patience for her, her constant questions, her empathy, her aptitude for magic all pull at him. No one teases him for it. Although, one day, as he was walking through the courtyard, Iron Bull ran to him, “Solas! You’re daughter is on the roof- mind getting her down before Josephine bas a heart attack?” Solas’ heart flipped, he was not the childs father- the furthest thing, in fact, but he found he did not have it in him to correct the qunari.

•Despite her gentle nature, they have sharpened her into something to be feared. It haunts them, but they did not have a choice. She always helps, always saves, seems to always make the most righteous judgements- but as Adolescent, 13 now- she is growing before their eyes. Sometimes even going on missions alone(she lets Cole come, of course). No one says anything, but they all see how Solas & her circle leave on horses a few hours after she departed because “they need to check on something.”

•At 13, she charms the courts, Halamshiral was a success and Josephine couldn’t be more proud. Solas could nearly see her in the parties in arlathan, His daughter did so beautifully that he knows she would be the most feared, but he Tamps the thought down, it hurts to think about.

•Dorian and Sera love her more than they thought they could love anybody. She teaches them to look beyond themselves. They are her closets friends, and when it all becomes to much for Da’Len, they do their best to make mischief, so she never forgets to have fun as well.

•ever since she was 12, she has called Solas ‘Father’. It is a sweet pang in his heart every time, but he does not stop her. Just like no one stops her when she calls Iron Bull ‘uncle’ or lilianna, “Aunt”. But Skyhold does notice when the spy master is in a particular good mood for weeks, or how uncharacteristically quite Bull is after that.

•She defeats Corypheous, and Solas tells her how proud he is as he holds the broken orb, that he needs to go to do something important. And that he will be back. She begs to come with him, tells him to wait, that she is his daughter and fathers are never supposed to leave, & it is the first time she sees her father cry, she begs him to wait, but when he turns around. He is already gone,

•2 years have passed and she is 15. She is turning into a great beauty and an even greater mage. Her people worship her like a god, despite her protests. Ever since Solas left, Cullen and varrik have taken up the mantle as best they can, though they know it’s not enough, & Josephine teaches her all she knows, then lelianna teaches her how to hide it. They have done there best despite the worst and she knows that, the seeker is her closet to a mother though, with all of her harshness, she would do anything for the growing elf.

•The exalted council flurries past, she saves everyone yet again, but she is dying, and Da’len knows it. Her anchor is melting down and she tells everyone that she loves them- that she had the greatest family, that she was so grateful to help. She goes through the eluvian alone, leaving her patched up family screaming and crying behind her, to do this one last thing

•Fen’Harel was not prepared. He did not account for how much it would devastate him to see his daughter again. Hunched over in pain, the anchor killing her and oh maker it’s all his fault- but she still looks up at him, her face older, more wise, beautiful, she smiles a bloody smile, “Father, I‘ve missed you so much .”

•Fen’harel swallows down a sob, kneels before her, calms the anchor slightly, “My daughter, I suspect you have questions.”

•she lunges for him, wrapping her arms around his neck in the first hug he’s had since before he left her, “Father, I’ll never ask another question again if it means I can come with you.” He never heard her beg for anything, but she’s begging now. “Let me stay with you, Please never leave, not you, not again.”

•Fen’Harel was always weak when it came to his Da’Len. He carries his daughter through the eluvian, and together they’ll try to build a better future, for everyone.

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nix-rising · 3 years

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Hello dear friend!

I have appeared once again to give some advice!

I should not be one to talk but I think you will find that if you try to criticize yourself less outright, you might feel a little better. I see a lot of self-sabotage on your posts and as a suggestion: you could try to give yourself little compliments (even if you don’t believe them to be true) and let us give you compliments without denying them. Of course, this is just from personal experience but I started liking myself a lot more when I stopped trying to beat myself down.

You also don’t control how you feel every day, so no, you’re not in charge of your days. Some days are bad, that isn’t something you can control! There often isn’t anyone to blame for the world’s occurrences (especially not yourself). The way we perceive other people and the world are very different so,,, perhaps you’re simply not your own type. No doubt, I find you quite charming. Again, I don’t mind waiting for you to respond, you have all the time in the world. 💗

All of my Love,

HI LO

sorry i took so long to respond theres been d r a m a

youll have seen it if youve been looking at my blog

and then my internet cut out so i got kicked off my laptop for the night

im doing my best to work on that, i struggle with it a lot though

i did manage in that one post though

thank you for pointing it out

ill try to not deny compliments as much, ive been having a bit of a tough time recently, but that got better, so thats really good

thank you

youre super sweet

im also working on not always looking at the negatives

its exhausting, but i think its working

even if its only a little bit

thank you for this, its helped me cheer up a bit

- Tato

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mianix · 5 years

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Gift Fic for FoxHughesArt ~ “PDA at the DPD”

My very good friend FoxHughesArt just posted their first Reed900 artwork and was kind enough, since they knew Reed900 is my fandom love, to share the WIP with me before they posted the final piece. I was so inspired, I had to write something for them and this is it.

Alex ~ thank you so much for chatting with me over the last couple of months. For letting me chatter on when I’m sad and letting me do the same for you. Your art is lovely and inspiring ~ Just like you. 💙

“PDA at the DPD”

As they walked into the DCPD, Nines felt anticipation.

Gavin had once told him this particular part of his day was better than his morning coffee. They would get up, feed the cat and carry about getting ready for work as any working partners might do if they found themselves staying over with one another. But the moment they found a vacant elevator, there was electricity in the air between them.

Gavin liked a bit of pretense and Nines indulged him in this, because it seemed to end in benefit for them both.

“Fuckin’ thing follows me everywhere.” Gavin said annoyedly to the officer who checked them through the security gate. Nines remained silent, watching, as usual. Gavin turned to him. “What are you looking at RoboPrick?”

“A middle aged man with a smoking addiction, foul mouth and a receding hairline.” Nines replied simply. He saw Gavin blush, his eyes narrow and Nines felt a small twinge of victory at catching the Detective off guard. He enjoyed teasing him and found Gavin liked to be teased in more ways than just verbally. Nines opted to walk through the terminal, ignoring Gavin as he did and it had the calculated effect. He could feel Gavin’s eyes on him as they came to the elevator doors and he felt static run through his skin.

Nines stepped inside and felt Gavin’s eyes watching him still as he turned and casually pressed the button that would take them to the homicide department. The Detective’s heart rate was elevated and that made his bio components hum sweetly. The moments ticked by as the doors slowly shut and the moment they did the two found themselves tangled in one another.

Gavin pushed Nines against the wall, kissing him deeply with a measured grin on his face. Nines let him lead, because it seemed to please him so early in the morning, but he also knew once they were done for the day it would be Gavin submitting to him.

And they loved their routine… Oh yes.

“Did you really mean that shit about my hair?” Gavin asked in between deep, messy kisses. He was grinning though, good humored about the jab at his ego.

“Only about 84 percent.” Nines replied and Gavin pulled back to narrow his eyes at him. Nines only leaned in and whispered against his swollen lips “Any hair loss can probably be attributed to me, Detective.” Nines continued as he wound his fingers into Gavin’s hair and pulled back, getting a startled gasp, then grin from him as he leaned down and kissed him slowly and calculating.

“Keep that shit up an we’ll be-” Gavin began, but was cut off as the elevator stopped prematurely.

Without warning, the elevator doors opened and they were able to right themselves before an interloper from another floor stopped their progress. Nines was able to easily compose himself, but Gavin looked so flustered the officer who entered had given him an odd look.

“What the fuck you looking at?” Gavin had barked, face reddening further. The man turned away and the three stood awkwardly as the elevator ascended again.

Nines cast his eyes sideways and saw Gavin’s hand mere inches from his own. A new idea formed and he reached out to take hold of it, only for Gavin to snatch it away. Nines raised an eyebrow at him and noted Gavin looked annoyed, shaking his head at him, then indicating the officer in front of him.

Gavin waited till the officer exited to his floor and the elevator began its ascension before turning to Nines.

“Don’t do shit like that in front of people.”

“I’m not allowed to hold your hand or I’m just not allowed to do it in front of co-workers now?” Nines asked and felt annoyed either way.

“We work here. It’s unprofessional.” Gavin mumbled, face still red from the make out session they had just had. Nines narrowed his eyes at him.

“You didn’t seem to share this same opinion a moment ago when you were letting me sample the coffee from the back of your tongue.” Nines replied and felt a small victory at the vivid blush that overcame the Detective’s face at these words.

“That’s different. No one can see us in here.”

At this, Nines stared at him pointedly, but Gavin was avoiding his eyes now.

A part of Nines knew, of course, that this shouldn’t be bothering him near as much as it actually was. This was their workplace, after all and public displays of affection weren’t exactly encouraged. But a simple hand hold behind a person’s back who wouldn’t even notice?

He thought often about moments like this one where he was denied simply because it proved inconvenient for the Detective. No matter his own personal wants. He’d caved in pursuit of a happy medium, because he knew that Gavin wouldn’t. He never did. Nines was tired of it.

Gavin must’ve noticed the shift in mood, because he leaned forward and put his hand to Nines’ face to draw him back to him. Nines only stared, unaffected when Gavin leaned in and tried to kiss him.

“I’m sorry, Detective. But as a place of business, such actions would be highly inappropriate.” Nines said evenly, almost robotically.

“Are you serious?” Gavin asked as he pulled back a ways. But the answer was plain as day on Nines face. “Whatever.”

Gavin turned and shoved his hands into his jacket pockets as they made their way to their floor. Once the doors opened he didn’t even wait for Nines as he stepped out. Nines figured Gavin might throw a tantrum about this, as he usually did when he didn’t get his way, but there was no way he was going to be the one to cave this time. In fact, as he saw Connor walking over to him, he decided that there was a much better alternative at hand.

“Everything okay, Nines?” Connor asked, side glancing Gavin who walked by him without a word.

“Of course. Do you have a minute? I’d like to go over a case with you before I get started on my own daily briefing.”

“Sure thing.” Connor replied, but Nines knew that Connor was onto him. This was a Gavin code between them, meaning he needed to discuss the Detective or needed help with something regarding him. They would huddle at Connor’s desk, pouring over some random file, but would converse inside their heads. If Gavin suspected as much he never said. Only Hank seemed to catch on.

“You guys working on a GV200 error?” Hank asked with a smirk as he sat back in his chair.

“GV600 actually.” Connor replied with a grin.

“Shit. That bad huh? I don’t want to know how high up that number can go.” Hank said as he turned to look at Gavin. He was working at his terminal, but he was obviously stewing over their conversation.

[RK800]: You do realize he might be very angry at you about this later?

[RK900]: He’s much more fun when he’s riled up.

[RK800]: Be sensible. You could just try discussing this like adults.

At this, Nines leaned back in his chair and looked towards Gavin.

“Excuse me, Detective. Could I speak with you for a moment?” Nines called across the bullpen. Gavin didn’t reply, only put up his middle finger at them. “It’s very important.” Nines continued and Gavin set down his coffee so his other hand was free to flip him off with both hands. Nines turned to Connor, knowing he proved his point.

[RK800]: Plan B then?

[RK900]: Plan B it is.

Nines knew the Detective well enough and despite his hard persona, he was weak for specific things and Nines was one of them. He also knew that Gavin didn’t believe anything that he could not emotionally feel. If he wanted him to be the first to cave, then he’d need to remind him of what he was missing. A plan began to formulate and, despite the very real chance Gavin would be even angrier at him, the other possibilities of what could come of this were so enticing that Nines could not consider any other alternative.

After conversing a bit with Connor, Nines moved to his designated seat and began his morning briefing via terminal. No sense in slacking off work. He felt Gavin watching him, trying to capture his attention, but opted to ignore him. After a time, paperwork was dropped off on his desk and he took the opportunity to finally address the Detective.

“May I borrow a pencil, Gavin?” Nines asked as he looked up to find Gavin tapping away furiously at his phone. The man’s eyes moved from the screen to his and narrowed, but he opted not to answer him. Although cute, Gavin could never play this game quite as well as Nines did. “Too bad, I guess you’ll have to finish this paperwork entirely on your own.”

“You have arms, don’t you? Get it yourself asshole. I’m busy.” Gavin grumbled as he let his eyes go back to his phone.

Nines could’ve simply reached across his desk, over to Gavin’s, and plucked a pencil out of its holder. It was within his reach, but an idea was forming, so Nines instead stood and walked around the desk to stand behind Gavin. He leaned down, reaching his arm out over the Detective’s shoulder as the side of his face lightly touched the helix piercing on the back of his ear.

He felt the Detective tense, as he knew Gavin would, considering he often reacted to Nines playing with this piercing under both leisure and intimate circumstances. If Gavin wanted to object he could have, but he sat still.

“I think…,” Nines stated in a low voice right next to Gavin’s ear. “Hmmm…,” He continued, letting the rumble of his voice vibrate through the delicate metal piece as he prolonged this torture. He idly picked up one pencil after another as if it was a very important decision. “This one looks…sturdy.”

Gavin’s vitals had elevated and Nines smirked to himself when he turned ever so slightly to see Gavin’s face bright red. The hands holding the phone were gripping it tightly and his jaw was clenched. He was trying so hard to keep his eyes forward. Time to get his attention.

Through precalculation, Nines knew the right angle to let go of the pencil as he pulled it back so that it would land, almost perfectly, between the Detective’s thighs on the chair. As calculated, it did just that and Nines began to reach down to grab it when his hand was stopped by Gavin just as his fingertips feathered over the seam of his jeans.

“I’ll fucking get it, asshole.” Gavin said, but his voice was higher than normal and that only pleased Nines more.

“Are you sure, Detective. I have arms after all. Don’t I?” Nines said, mimicking Gavin’s own words. Gavin lifted the pencil up quickly and Nines barely hid his own amusement as he took it from him. “Thank you, Gavin.” He whispered as he pulled back, letting the side of his cheek run along the side of Gavin’s as he did so.

When he made it back to his desk, the look on Gavin’s face gave him great pleasure. A beautiful shade of red, as well as his ears. The same shade he saw often when Gavin was overwhelmed by him physically and emotionally. Gavin’s eyes met his and he stood up, walking off in the direction of the bathrooms.

To think, it was still only early morning and he had hours of ideas planned for Gavin. He only hoped he wouldn’t cave too quickly, as Nines shivered at the thought of prolonging this sense of control for as long as he could.

Gavin Reed was going down.

Gavin splashed cold water over his face, dipping his hand back down to the faucet and filling again to repeat the action until his face settled into its natural tone. Phckin androids…

All this because he didn’t want to hold Nines’ hand? When had his partner become so damn particular about this stuff? It was one of the things he liked about Nines, his no nonsense, no strings attached approach to everything. So why now was he being so pushy about this PDA shit?

Gavin looked at himself in the mirror and his mind drifted to a few moments ago. There was a lingering scent on him from Nines, which Gavin didn’t think androids could have smells, but Nines did. The more he thought on it, it was a mixture of elements from his apartment. So, to Gavin, Nines smelled like home. When he realized what his own thought just was he felt his face redden again with embarrassment. Nines smelled like home? Get a grip Gavin, phck…

He knew, of course, what Nines was doing and he decided he wasn’t going to fall for it. If Nines could avoid and ignore him, then so too could Gavin. He wouldn’t give him the pleasure of flustering Gavin again. He psyched himself up in the mirror, took a couple of deep breaths before he walked out of the bathroom.

He expected to see Nines sitting at their desks, but he was once again huddled with Connor over at his desk. Gavin watched them with a frown. Did he talk to Connor about what happened in the elevator? The two were close as brothers and Nines had told him plenty of times when he couldn’t seem to adjust to some social interactions it was Connor he relied on.

“What about me? I can teach you lots of stuff about social interactions.” Gavin had said at the time, slightly hurt Nines wouldn’t come to him. Nines though lifted a brow at him.

“Forgive me Gavin, but the only social interactions I feel I can learn from you are the kind of things I’ll save for people I don’t wish to interact with. If I need schooling on the proper ways to flip off people, I assure that you’ll be the first one I seek out.” Nines had said in reply, but Gavin had found that funny and only laughed.

That was another thing Gavin liked about Nines. His blunt wit was attractive as all hell and Gavin didn’t mind taking a few blows to his ego. He couldn’t even be mad at him and usually if he was it wasn’t for very long.

The one saving grace, as Gavin saw it, is that this lover’s spat would likely be forgotten by the time they went home tonight. Here they were partners, but at home, they were whatever the fuck they wanted to be and Gavin loved that. He didn’t have to be mean Detective Reed and Nines could stop being so damned uptight and instead come unbound and undone.

At this thought his face reignited. His mind was flooded with Nines face, flushed blue, mouth parted…

“Phck.” Gavin breathed as he grabbed his coffee cup and went to refill it. If he wasn’t careful he might have to make a run for the men’s room, but this time for a completely different reason. He opted to ignore Nines unless absolutely necessary for the job. Then, when the day was done and they headed home he’d be generous and let Nines apologize to him for being a dick. Maybe draw it out for a little bit of extra attention in the bedroom…

Ego restored, Gavin walked confidently to his desk and grudgingly started doing paperwork, making sure to keep his eyes off of Nines.

The day passed by slowly without Nines constant intervention in his work day. He went to lunch with Tina instead, but opted not to mention their spat. As much as he loved Tina, she tended to side sometimes with Nines on specific things. So he let her talk about the newly deviated receptionist android she’d been going on about for a month. It was kinda cute to see her crushing so hard and he did his due diligence to encourage her to finally just ask her on a date. There was not much else he could do.

Afternoon came and went and Nines continued to remain by Connor’s side, pouring over documents and reviewing evidence down in the evidence room. Every time Nines walked by him he ignored him, hoping he might glance his way, but his attention was completely on Connor and Gavin felt himself sulking every time Nines refused to look at him.

Finally, Gavin had enough when his watch showed 7:47pm and Nines made no move to leave. So he stood and stretched, figuring he’d venture down into the evidence room himself on the pretense of a case he was working on to see what the hell they were up to. As he began to walk though, they emerged and Connor called out to him.

“Detective Reed. It’s late, you should be heading home.” Connor said and at this Gavin’s eyes turned to look at Nines.

“What about you?” Gavin asked.

“Connor has asked me to remain for a time to go over additional evidence that was found for his current case. They’re bringing it down now, but it’s a ways out of Detroit, so head home without me and I will catch up with you once we’ve finished here.” Nines replied coolly.

Gavin just stared at him, trying so hard not to show his disappointment. In a moment of weakness he heard his voice announce his obvious insecurity.

“You’re coming home tonight, right?”

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. Phck!

“I’m not yet sure, it all depends on the-”

“Whatever.” Gavin said quickly to mask his growing apprehension. He didn’t wait for a reply, just walked back to his desk and collected his bag. He thought he heard Connor call after him, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to get away.

He felt his eyes sting a bit, but managed to compose himself. Why the hell did that hurt so much? He realized that since he became Nines life partner that he’d never went home alone. He’d not fallen asleep without Nines beside him. So Nines so casually denying him this comfort hurt. Like he had lost something in the exchange of words.

Gavin’s drive home was in silence. He didn’t want to listen to the radio and coasted his way home in a haze. His mind wouldn’t stop overthinking everything. When he arrived home he was greeted warmly by his cat, Dick, who danced around his ankles for want of attention and food. Gavin obliged, soaking in the affection the cat offered as a substitute in Nines absence.

A few hours into a few bad movies and TV shows Gavin checked his phone. 11:23pm and still no word from Nines. Despite everything, he was worried. He opened his messenger and clicked the name “RoboPrick”.

[TrashHuman]: You coming home soon?

He smirked slightly at seeing his username permanently changed because Nines refused to tell him how to change it. To anyone else it would seem they hated each other, but in all honesty these were terms if endurement.

[RoboPrick]: At present we are analyzing over 230 various types of dirt to calculate which one was found on a boot at a crime scene. This particular sample has ground mica found in it, so we’re cross referencing drilling plants and other possible locations against this particular type.

[TrashHuman]: Is that a yes or a no ya prick?

[RoboPrick]: The task will likely take all night between the two of us, so no. I will meet you at the office in the morning.

[TrashHuman]: Whatever.

Gavin tossed his phone off to the side, feeling pissed but figuring there wasn’t much he could do about it now. Boy would he make Nines pay for this tomorrow. What if he called himself in sick and refused to open the door if Nines tried to come see him? Then he remembered the time he fought with Nines and the android had completely removed his door from the other side with a simple screwdriver, breaking his lock in the process…and later his bed frame.

Gavin blushed and resigned himself to going to bed and work tomorrow. He figured he wasn’t going to hear from Nines again, but then his phone went off again.

[RoboPrick]: <3

Gavin felt his face redden even further, that small emoji meaning more to him in that moment then the sender could possibly understand. He stood and padded his way into his bedroom, crawling into his bed and realizing he was missing something.

“Dick? Here kitty, kitty, kitty!” He called out in the usual way he addressed his feline friend. The cat was normally found following him around the apartment, but he noticed that the cat stood outside the door looking in at him. “Get in here asshole.”

Gavin tapped the empty side of the bed and the cat came to jump up. But instead it stood on its hind legs, front paws on the bed as it observed the empty side that typically held Nines. Dick looked at him, then meowed. Gavin realized that the cat often fell asleep ON Nines, or laying between them. The android could turn up his body temperature and the cat had fallen in love with this feature. Just like Gavin, who had relied on Nines being here for things to feel normal, Dick too seemed reluctant without him present.

Instead, the cat wandered the apartment yowling all night for the android that was nowhere to be found. Eventually, before sunrise, the cat jumped up beside Gavin and curled up in Nines’ vacant spot. Gavin, who often suffered from insomnia, pulled the cat close to provide him the warmth he was obviously missing. The cat purred in his arms and the vibration coming from the cat seemed enough to make him feel like Nines was there. So he finally slept.

Gavin coasted through his morning barely feeling it. His morning coffee was bland without whatever the hell it was Nines did to make it taste like liquid sex, his ride in just made him irritated because without his partner there to focus on he noticed how many stupid people were driving the streets of Detroit. It was so rainy out he was practically soaked as he ran into the building. Then, worst of all, he had to face the elevator all on his own. Gavin stood and looked at it for a while and when it opened its doors to him he felt cold. He turned, instead, and took the stairs.

Only when he reached the doors leading into the homicide department did he feel a little life returning to him. He would see Nines and maybe the android had forgiven him enough to stop with the games.

But it wasn’t the RK900 that greeted him as he entered, but Connor, wearing gray sweatpants and a DCPD hooded sweater.

“Good morning, Detective Reed.” Connor said jovially.

“What’s with the outfit?” Gavin asked, not use to seeing Connor in anything but his android issued uniform.

“Ahh, yes. Well, you see. Nines and I got up early this morning to scout some potential sites for the ground mica we found last night when it began to downpour. Our clothing was completely soaked through before we realized it. So I’m wearing this today.” Connor replied, a slight blush on his face.

“Don’t you two even know when to come in out of the rain?” Gavin asked, rolling his eyes. Cyberlife could’ve at least equipped them with common sense. Oh well. “Where’s Nines?”

“Locker room.”

Gavin left Connor behind and stood just outside the locker room doors. He was trying to psych himself up to talk this out rationally with Nines. He wouldn’t give in, of course, but surely Nines felt how bad his night was without Gavin there? He felt his stomach sink at the thought of what if Nines felt no difference at all? What if he never even gave Gavin another thought after he’d left? This worked Gavin up alright, but it was not rational at all.

“Nines! Where the fuck are you? We need to talk.” Gavin called as he slammed the door open and stepped inside the locker room. It was, for the most part, vacant.

“Back here, Detective. One moment please.” Nines called out from the back of the room.

“No one minute please bullshit, we’re talking about this n-” Gavin began as he stomped his way back to where he knew Nines would be, only to stop dead in his tracks at the sight that awaited him.

Nines stood, tall and lean, in nothing but a towel. His skin was still wet, gleaming under the harsh lighting from above and as he turned to view Gavin his hair was a soft mess of curls with one fierce gray eye peeking out from beneath. This wasn’t work Nines, but leisure Nines.

Gavin swallowed hard as his eyes went to every inch he could memorize, because Nines was fucking beautiful like this. His hair curled when he didn’t set it back with gel and Gavin’s heart swelled to see him so off guard. Especially after the terrible night he’d had.

“I can’t sleep.” He had told Nines when they first got together, confiding in him about his issues with insomnia. Nines had lain down with him and recited his favorite books from memory so Gavin could fall asleep, cheek pressed to his chest as the drone of his biocomponents and the hum of his voice emanating from there soothed him. He’d not had another sleepless night, not since last night.

Other times he’d run his hands through Nines hair, messing it up so it could curl over his eye just as it was now. The way it would caress his face as Nines hovered over him and how warm it was against his lips as he gave in, gladly, to his demanding lover. Always a look of such tenderness behind those curls.

Gavin felt a rush of warmth, such affection that he was overwhelmed by it.

“Yes, Gavin?” Nines asked as he waited for whatever it was Gavin had originally meant to say. But for all his bravado, he couldn’t bring himself to argue with Nines about this. Because he fucking missed this and him, but he didn’t know how to just fucking tell him. So he turned, without a word and walked back out into the main area of the department.

As Gavin stepped into the bullpen he heard a clattering of noise coming from the very center and noticed Fowler trying to get everyone’s attention.

“Listen up everyone. Lieutenant Anderson has something he wants to say. Pipe down Philips!” Fowler said, pointing his death glare towards an officer who was still talking. “The floor is yours Hank.”

“Thanks, Jeffrey.” Hank replied, then cleared his throat when he realized all eyes were on him. “Today marks an important milestone for the DCPD. Not only has crime decreased in the last year, but solved cases are up. While I stand among you good men and women who work tirelessly for the city of Detroit and its people, I think we can all agree that this is due in large part to the tireless efforts of our android counterparts who work at our side willingly.” Hank said with a pause, before continuing. “One year ago, today, the first android prototype of his kind walked through the doors of Jimmy’s bar and found himself a royal pain in the ass.”

The room laughed and Gavin noticed that Connor, while smiling, was blushing a bit.

“I wasn’t pleasant, or even baseline decent. But he persisted. Not only did he stay by my side when chaos reigned, he stayed with us once he had the choice to leave. He was a major figure in the history books who could’ve gone on to do great things, but instead he chose to remain my partner and all of our friends. So I wanted to thank him and mark his one year anniversary so he remembers just how appreciated, needed and loved he really is here.”

Hank pulled up a small bag from under his desk and set it in front of Connor.

“Some of the guys pooled in to get you this.” Hank said, fondly watching the emotional roller coaster that was Connor’s face. At this, Gavin noticed Nines had joined him, watching curiously.

Connor looked around, obviously not use to such attention, but he reached into the bag and pulled out a small box. He opened it and his face immediately lit up.

“We got you a new coin, but this one is one of a kind. Just like you Con.” Hank said warmly. “Look at the inscription on the back.”

“Faithful friend. Great humanitarian. Lover of Dogs.” Connor read aloud and there were a few chuckles from around, but a few silent tears as well. Connor, among them. “I don’t know what to say. Thank you. I will cherish this.”

Connor stood and put his hand out for Hank to shake, a sign of respect, but Hank wasn’t having it. He took Connor’s hand and pulled him into a tight embrace. Connor accepted it and nearly lost his composure as his fingers grasped to the old man’s jacket.

Gavin looked around and saw his co-workers smiling, Tina Chen recording the moment on Hank’s phone and even Fowler was grinning from ear to ear. Gavin turned and looked at Nines, who was smiling so big it was a sight to behold. And Gavin understood, because as he looked down to see Nines’ hand right next to his own all he wanted in that moment was to slip his hand into Nines’ and show him and everyone that he loved and appreciated all the small things Nines did to make his life better than it ever was before him.

Gavin slowly moved his hand, so close to Nines he could feel the warmth it radiated. At the last moment though, Nines lifted his hand with the others and clapped as Connor turned from Hank to grin widely at them all. Moment gone, Gavin lost his composure.

He turned and grabbed Nines by the lapel of his jacket, turning him towards him and kissed him full on the lips in view for everyone to see. He didn’t care who saw or if it was proper etiquette. He wasn’t going to waste another moment doubting. Nines was startled, but eased into the kiss naturally. Because that’s what this was. Fucking natural. Gavin pulled away from Nines, still holding his lapel as he addressed his aghast co-workers.

“You see that fuckers? Nines is MINE. I fucking love him. We make out, we have sex and it’s fuckin great! If any of you asshats has any problems with that then I got a fist I call ‘no fucks given’ to introduce your face to.” Gavin said in quick succession, daring anyone to cross him.

The room was deadly silent, awkward even as everyone just stared. Tina had turned Hank’s phone on them and no doubt recorded the whole damn thing. GOOD. Then a voice rang out over the silence.

“No one gives a shit you’re gay for Nines Reed!” Fowler said, chuckling.

“Everyone knows about your make out sessions in the elevator, asshat!” Tina chimed in.

Gavin stood, dead still and narrowed his eyes at the room.

“Are you a moron Reed? This is a Government building. There’s camera’s everywhere you dumbshit.” Hank chimed in and Gavin noticed a few nervous chuckles starting up around them, turning into an uproar.

Still clinging to Nines’ jacket, Gavin leaned in closer to Nines as he glowered at the room.

“Did you know about this RoboPrick?” Gavin whispered to Nines.

Nines leaned in and circled Gavin protectively in his arms, pressing a smirking mouth to the side of his head.

“Of course I did, Detective. Don’t play coy, you did too… It’s all part of the thrill.” Nines replied and Gavin felt his face burn, red hot. Without a word, he pulled Nines along towards the elevator.

“Reed! It’s only 10:30 in the morning, where the fuck do you think you’re-” Fowler started, but bristled when Gavin only lifted up his hand and flipped him off without even turning back.

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You can visit my AO3 for anything I don’t currently post to Tumblr, which is a multi-chapter Reed900 fic currently ongoing. Thanks for reading! 💙

#gavin reed x rk900 #reed900 #gavin reed #rk900 nines #gavin x rk900 #dbh rk900 #gavin900 #gavin army #dbh gavin #detroit being human #detroit become human #fanfic #dbh nines

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angrylizardjacket · 5 years

Text

time’s arrow {Roger Taylor}

Anon asked: Hi, I love your roger/ben imagines so much and was wondering if you could do some angst with Roger x female, maybe they are good friends and she sees him with another. Whatever you would like! Thank you x :)

A/N: 2727 words. A story told through Seasons. I took a little bit of liberties with the prompt, if that’s okay? This hit me like a lightning bolt and I had to write it. Angst with a happy ending. (I’m just trying to show I’ve got versatility in writing, okay?)

Warnings: Implied sex.

You meet him in Spring, before it all begins, he sits up the back of your Intro to Head and Neck Anatomy lectures, the only class with open spots available by the time you were looking for a science credit. You find out he’s in a band three weeks into the first class, finally going to the local bar, sick of cramming your brain full of information you’re not even sure is necessary for your degree. He grins at you and wow okay, you didn’t even think he’d recognise you.

“You’re in, um,” he’s leaning against the bar next to you in this dimly lit pub, grabbing a drink between sets. Faltering for a moment, his eyes travel down before you clear your throat, angry at yourself for blushing, but his smile widens, “my class.” He finishes, taking a sip of his beer. You agree, rolling your eyes at him, but even that seems to amuse him. He asks your name. The guitarist is calling him over, setting up for the next set, but you tell him before he leaves. Something tightens in your chest when, later that night, he catches your eyes mid-song, his look of intense focus shifting for a moment as he grins, giving you a wink.

He takes to sitting next to you in lectures, chewing the end of his pencil and taking occasional notes in a falling apart notebook that looks as though he uses it for every class. You catch lyrics in the margins and at the bottom of some pages, but he’s cagey about that in a strange way, just says you’ll have to come to a gig to find out what they’re about. So you do.

Gigs become a regular for you, and you start to become friends with the girls who frequent the shows, often hosting predrinks in your dorm room for Mary and her friends on a Friday night. You learn on one of those nights that at least two of the girls have hooked up with him, and there’s a strange, sinking sensation in your chest. You’re not sad, or at least, you tell yourself you shouldn’t be. You and Roger are just friends, it’s not like there’s anything going on there, sure, sometimes after a really good show he’ll give you a pash, but it’s- that’s just him.

It’s not like you’ve never thought about it, but you also know his reputation, and that it’ll do more harm than good to get involved with that. He’s the one mistake you don’t think you want to make.

It’s Summer, a few years later, when they trade in the van to get money to hire the recording studio. Roger had really loved that van, and he lay on your sofa for a solid hour grumbling about it, about how Freddie had some kind of nerve. You roll your eyes at him, call him a drama queen, which he takes offence to, but moves obligingly when you sit down, letting him rest his head in your lap.

When you raise the point that it might be worth it, he looks frankly aghast, griping about how he has to catch lifts everywhere now. He calms down somewhat when you start carding your fingers through his hair, though he still pouts.

“If it comes to it, I’ll buy you a car, you baby.” You snort, despite the fact that you’re currently barely making a living wage on some retail job, it’s not where you’d thought you’d be after university, but sometimes that’s just how it is. He looks up at you, and when you look down at him, he’s looking very intense. Perhaps he might say something poignant about your offer, you think, but instead he reaches up and pokes your nose.

“I can see up your nostrils.” He tells you, and you smack his hand away, scowling. You stand abruptly, ignoring his complaints, smoothing your pants out against your thighs.

“Come on,” you offer your hand, which he regards with both confusion and a bit of disdain, “you can’t mope around my apartment and complain about the band again. We’re going out.” That gets his interest.

You’ve been to bars with him before, and usually you go home alone while he gets the pick of the prettiest girls of the night, or he decides to wingman you, which hurts your heart a little, but you won’t decline. You were attractive in your own right, you won’t deny that, you didn’t technically need his help, but a selfish part of you likes the way the attention to you, even if it’s to help you get with other people.

Tonight is different, tonight he doesn’t leave your side, he slings an arm around you as the two of you stand by the bar watching the truly mediocre band they had on that night.

“You know why they aren’t recording an album?” You ask as the set ends.

“Because they didn’t sell their van?” Roger mused, vaguely bitter, but not melancholy as he swirled the last of his drink in his free hand.

“No, it’s because they’re terrible.” Turning, you smile at your own blunt remark, and when he looks back at you, he’s grinning with a little disbelief. There’s very little space between the two of you, but that doesn’t make your heart race anymore, he’s your best friend, close contact was part of the bargain. But he kissed you, quickly, without warning, and when he pulls back, he turns away to order another drink like nothing had happened.

Your mind is spiralling, this isn’t post-gig excitement, this wasn’t something you were expecting. The selfish creature in your chest that you tried to deny for so long was crowing with victory. Taking a quick look around the bar, you don’t recognise anyone, though there are a few girls who look like they’d be his type- but his hand is moving to wrap around your waist as he turns back.

“What was that?” Voice quiet, you take his drink and have a sip of it yourself, the movement done from muscle memory alone. He raises his eyebrows at you, not regarding the drink, that was a usual occurrence, but at the question. He doesn’t seem to know how to answer, baffled at the question. Dropping you gaze, you take a sip of your own drink. “Why me? Why tonight?” You asked. Looking incredulous, he stepped back, looking you over.

“Have you seen yourself tonight, love? Couldn’t help myself.” You’ve heard him talk like this before, to other girls, not as blunt, but with you he can get away with it. The creature in your chest is elated, and you find yourself smiling, actually blushing. He moves closer once more, his arm around you, voice low as he spoke into your ear. “Trust me, you look very fit tonight, any man would be lucky to have a crack at you.” Heart in your throat, you hope you’re reading the situation right, at the same time ignoring the part of you that knew this was a bad idea.

“Even you?” You turned to face him, watching the way his smile shifted to a smirk, and he pulled you a little closer.

“You know I’m always feeling lucky.”

You kiss him, feeling your blood thumping in your veins, selfish and excited in equal measure, but with his hands on you, you can’t find the focus to care about the former.

Once the bad starts up again, Roger pulls away, making a face at them, asking if you wanted to get out of there. You do, and the two of you are elated on the quick walk back to his apartment, stopping only when he pressed you up against the wall of an closed shop to suck a hickey into the skin of your neck. You catch sight of it in his bedroom mirror, but he’s pulling off your jacket and you have better things to worry about.

It’s not weird, like you thought it would be, when you wake the next morning and he’s curled up, fast asleep with his back to you, but your chest aches just a little. He avoids eye contact over breakfast, though you chat like normal. The gripes about his van have died down, though he makes an offhand comment about things are changing that you read enough into to realise what had happened.

“You’ll always have me, Rog.” You reach across the table to take his hand, and he finally looks you in the eye, he looks so relieved, not that he’d ever say it. Afraid of losing another thing he cared about, he had panicked last night and tried to keep you close in the only way he knew how. He certainly loved you, but not in the way you wanted him to. Giving his hand a gentle squeeze, you give him a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. It’s not his fault.

Bohemian Rhapsody airs in Autumn, you’re regional manager now, and you’re sitting in your office when you hear for the first time; you almost scream when the first harmony comes in after the radio host introduces the song.

“You’re a star, Rog!” You gush over the phone on your break, unable to wait until that night when the band was having a celebratory get-together to talk to him.

“Of course, I am, you think I sing that high to be paid in peanuts?” You can hear the smile in his words without even seeing him, and being able to hear his voice warms your heart.

“That was you?” You laugh, the ‘Galileo's playing back in your head, and you try to picture him singing it, which only made you laugh harder.

“Oi,” he bristled, indignant at your laughter, “I’m the only one with the range to execute Freddie’s vision.” You could see him in your mind now, proud and stubborn, standing tall to defend the decision.

“I’m proud of you.” Suddenly sincere, you find your smile turning to something more genuine as you think back on far he’s come.

“Thank you.” His own voice has become less animated, more sincere, though you can still hear him smiling.

“Love you, Rog.” You tell him, just as you always did when you parted ways.

“I’ll see you tonight.”

He’s grinning, draped with casual confidence in an armchair in Freddie’s living room when you arrive, and you feel like you’ve been taken back five years, the casual enthusiasm he’s exerting. Smile brightening, he stands when he sees you, striding across the room to enfold you in a hug.

“Good to see you!” He practically beams at you, holding your shoulders as he looks over you, as if assessing you, seeing if anything has changed.

“Of course, you’ve been holed up for weeks, I wouldn’t miss this for the world!” Though he’s in front of you, you’re words address the room as a whole, and when he steps back, Brian moves in to hug you as well, asking how you’ve been.

The boys are your friends, all of them, you’ve been around for most of their big band moments, and it eases something in your chest to be here for this one too. But then the ease sharply tightens as a woman you’ve never seen before sits on the arm of Roger’s chair, and he rests a hand on her thigh, smiling up at her.

Mary follows your gaze, and her smile is sad as she pulls you down to sit beside her, asking you about your thoughts on the single. You answer, though your heart’s not in it, and the selfish creature in your chest rears it’s ugly head after such a long slumber.

The monster has shifted, changed and grown, it hadn’t cared about him running around with any pretty girl he could find for the past few years, but this was different. Roger had made it clear that he was far from sacred, but this was the band, this was Freddie’s home, this was the place of some of your happiest memories; this was yours.

You stay well into the early hours of the following morning, despite the interloper, but Roger still stopped you at the door.

“I’m really glad you could make it, I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.” He’s smiling at you, but you don’t smile back. It’s been a long night of being kind and pretending that you’re heart didn’t hurt.

“Well, you’ve very busy.” You shrug, punctuating it with a yawn. His expression turns confused, and you open the door.

“Y/N.” He tried to get your attention, but you left, throwing a goodbye over your shoulder to him. “Love you.” He calls through the door, but you stay quiet, refuse to say it back, just keep walking. You’re too tired to be upset, but maybe you’ll get there tomorrow.

Things change, and you’ve grown to accept that, but sometimes old aches don’t heal like they should. Or at all.

“I’m getting married.” He calls you at the end of Winter.

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

Your relationship’s been on the mend in the years since the Bohemian Rhapsody launch night. You two smile and laugh like you had when you were younger, and you’ve learned to listen to his exploits and his gripes about women, offering your own about your partners, though they’re few and far between. He’s still your best friend, and you learn to act like it.

“Congratulations.” Your voice is flat. It had been a shock, you’d heard about his latest on-again off-again girlfriend, and had even offered advice in certain situations, actual advice, no malice at all.

“Thanks.” He doesn’t seem to know where to go from here, and silence stretches out between the two of you.

“I should go.” You finally murmur.

“What? Why?” He spluttered, and you sighed deeply.

“Was there something else you wanted to talk about?” You asked, closing your eyes and leaning your forehead against the wall.

“I- no, but I want you to be there.” He paused. “And I wanted to be the one to tell you.” Clenching your jaw, you make a snap decision.

“I can’t-”

“Why not?” He actually sounded angry, which was perhaps warranted, though your next words shut him up.

“Because it hurts, Roger.” After a beat, your voice is quiet. “Because I love you.” Taking a breath, you let yourself relax. “I want you to be happy, but I can’t watch you marry someone else.” There’s silence for a very long moment, but you hang up before he can respond. You take the phone off the hook. You need to be alone, just for now.

“After everything, you still-?” It’s the first day of Spring, and he’s on your doorstep, seemingly unable to say the word love. You’re wearing your pyjamas and he looks like he’s just walked out of a Rolling Stone cover shoot, though he just sort of looks like that now, you supposed.

“Don’t worry about it.” You try not to betray how much his visit shocked you, or the way his very presence after your recent conversation hurt you.

“You’re my best friend! Of course I’m gonna worry about it!” He threw his hands up in the air, exasperated. Sighing deeply, he stepped forward. “I thought I fucked everything up when we hooked up, I’m sorry, I panicked.” He was looking at his fidgeting hands, rather than your surprised expression. “And then... I thought I fucked it up again when I chose the band over you.”

“You never-” You tried to protest, but he smiled self-deprecatingly.

“No, I did. I loved you, and I thought that would get in the way of the band.” Clenching his jaw, he looked up and you could see the regret in his eyes. “It was easier to fuck around that tell you I love you.” Your breath stopped in your throat as he finally walked closer. “And I thought after everything, that you deserved better; you know what I’m like, why would you-?” But you cut him off with a kiss.

“You’ll always have me.” You murmured, finally letting yourself smile. Nothing about it felt selfish, in fact, it felt as though the sun was finally shining on you, warming you from the inside out.

“I know,” he agreed quietly, wrapping you up in a hug.

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x reader #borhap #queen #bohemian rhapsody #queen imagine #ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #bo rhap #the angry lizard writes

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weiqiankun-blog · 4 years

Text

beauty you hold.

female reader x mark lee

pretty frickin soft

my first piece of writing so i do hope you enjoy reading it

3k ish

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You'll admit, working at a coffee shop had it's quirks but there were just sometimes when all you wanted to do was go home and just sleep cause after all you were an exhausted college student and lets just say times were...tough sometimes. You've been working at your local coffee shop for awhile now and youve made friends with the other workers keeping in mind that theyre all quite older than you but atleast you have one close friend who works with you, this of course being one of your bestfriend's yuta. When you first met yuta, you kinda thought he was a pushover and a bit too bossy (or atleats thats what you said to him when you were explaining why you didnt approach him when you guys first met but actually it was only cause you were too scared). But ANYWAY, you were first to start working at the coffee shop, its name being 'Euphoria Cafe' and once you saw the help wanted sign through the window you were probably the first to apply cause you loved that place. Need a place to study? Euphoria, Need a place to relax? Euphoria, Need a place to sometimes see a few cute boys from time to time?... Euphoria (hotel?trivago (sorry i just had to)) so yeah. you got the job obviously and it was difficult at first to get used to how to use all the machines and everything but eventually you got the hang of it. And this is when your (not yet) best friend yuta comes waltzing in as the newly hired worker and you were kinda nervous cause yeah sure you're good with making friends but that doesn’t change that fact that you're terrified of embarrassing yourself especially in front of someone you found intimating.

So your first day together was awkward to say the least, there were many glances on both ends and all you guys said to each other were hi's, sorry's, here ya go's, and bye's when you guys left eventually. The next day it was like something snapped inside of you and you were having a really good day and you were just happy for ledgit no reason but when you're in moods like this, you kind of forget how to act around people or not forget but it's just a lot more free? So when you come into work you see yuta just getting in as well, and out of nowhere you just shouted, " hey yuta!!! how's your day been, excited for work?!" and the shock on his face was priceless and he just turned around and said, "oh, hey y/n, its been good and yeah i guess you could say i am", and to be honest you were kinda surprised he knew your name cause you guys literally never talked before yesterday and today was the first actual conversation you guys were having so naturally you asked, " oh woah, you know my name?", " well yeah, you know my name so...", "good point good point". And that was the start of a beautiful friendship, you guys grew really close and pretty fast and what surprised you the most was how jokingly flirtatious he got and it was definitely a joke cause at this point in your friendship you guys have seen TOO MUCH (dont be weird not like that) of each other to catch any feelings. You guys came to work together almost every day with him basically clinging onto you cause he needs affection and you obviously giving him it cause um who could resist. So yeah life was nice other than the crazy amount of work you had to do for college but OTHER THAN THAT just great :(.

Well anyway (yes this is a mark fluff just waittt) after few months of working there another employee joined and you recognized him almost instantly, he was in almost all of your classes but you guys barely talked, actually you guys only talked when you were forced to (partnered up and stuff). He wasnt in your shift but you always saw him leaving when you and yuta coming in. Eventually, mid-term break came along and yeah you were excited as hell but yuta was leaving to back to his hometown in japan so you would be pretty lonely. But then... you come into work one day not really being aware of your surroundings because you were too absorbed in your music but then when you walk in you see mark behind the counter not looking ready to leave at all so you said, "oh hi mark" (get the reference?) clear confusion coming out with your words and mark acknowledged it so he replied, " hey y/n, oh i asked if i could change my shift time because this works better for me so youll be seeing me for a while haha", " oh okay then i look forward to working with you", you say while nodding your head slightly. so mark right, you always liked him, not like crush sense but you thought he was cool you guess, and theres no denying that he was pretty cute but you never even had the idea of liking him until one day. So you come into work and suprisingly mark's not there he was usually early but you just thought oh he probably had something to do and didnt really care (#sorrynotsorry) but then in comes an extremely disheveled looking mark with messy hair and ripped jeans and a hoodie on and you were concerned to say the least. Thankfully no customers were in the shop yet and mark just runs to the counter panting and you genuinely think someone's been chasing him but he later explains he woke up like 2 minutes before he came to the coffee shop cause his phone ran out of battery hence alarm=nonexistent basically. That day you had a lot of customers and since you guys had to stay the entire day by the end of the day you were exhausted. When it was about an hour to closing mark just went on his break and it was just you in the shop because he just went for a walk which he regularly does for his break, something you noticed. but there werent many customers so you were okay but when you turned around to the register you saw a pink post-it saying: stay back today for a bit?. you already know mark wanted to just relax after work today and you guys had stayed back after work sometimes and you enjoyed it so you smiled and continued with the order for the customer. eventually he came back and you smiled and nodded and he smiled back and that just made you smile harder. so the day was finally over and you went to sit infront of the counter and took off your apron while mark was busy making something that you figured was his but when he was done you realized he had two drinks in his hand one being your favourite, a hot chocolate and one a berry smoothie. He placed the hot chocolate infront of you and you were like huh? and he said, “you drink this practically whenever you have the chance anyone would know it's your favourite". your heart kinda fluttered but you were like gurl dont be dumb staph but that didnt really stop much. you guys moved to the sofa after grabbing a few snacks (this was the main perk of getting the end shift cause you could stay back). You guys were facing each other and the windows were all still open blowing chilling air in and although you loved it you were cold and being the dumb one you are you forgot to bring a jacket so you shivered but you were fine after you closed the windows or so you thought for like two seconds and then you were like yeah no i be cold. "so care to explain why you came in looking like a wreck today" "so are you implying that i look good every other day" " well im not denying it.." you were always quite flirty with everyone unintentionally (sometimes intentionally) but mark kinda got used to it " i just slept really late yesterday and today wasnt the best" "i can tell but hey whats up?" "eh just stuff" "oh also ive been meaning to ask how long are you going to be working this shift?" "oh you want me to stay i see" "please, if anything the opposite" "mhmmm sure" he says with a smug look on his face, "well until your boyfriend comes back" you spat out your drink," my boyfriend?!" confusion was plastered on marks face and he said" yeah the guy you were working with before i came, yuta i think his name was?" you genuinely couldnt stop laughing until you eventually explained that he was just a bestfriend and you noticed a look of relief on his face? but pushed it aside. suddenly mark just got up and went to the back where you heard rummaging. after a few minutes mark came back with a t-shirt on and his hoodie in his hand. He threw over to you "stop shivering and wear this" he says he sat next to you this time causing you heart to basically jump out of your chest he wasnt that close or anything just him being kind. you mumbled a thanks. after a few moments of silence mark asked " so do you have a boyfriend?" "no you?" "nah. hey wanna lock up and just walk" you were actually glad he asked cause you were kinda tired of being in the cafe for this long and you thankfully nodded ---- you guys walked to a nearby park just talking about literally anything that came to your mind at this point you guys were pretty close and both of you guys knew things about each other that a lot of people dont, irrelevant and meaningful, like he knows that you only like the ends of those soda gummies cause apparently then have the most taste, but he argues that it all tastes the same, that doesnt stop him from eating the other end when you dont want it though, and you know that whenever hes stressed the only thing he wants to do is talk to someone he trusts and you were the same that way. as you were walking you werent really focusing on anything cause your heart was kinda all over the place cause youve officially developed a big fat crush on this idiot and you knew he didnt feel the same but then you being so absent minded caused you to trip and almost instantly mark grabbed your hand to stop you from falling over and you just started laughing while mark asked you if you were okay. you guys continued to walk in silence with the howling wind filling the air, although you guys were nothing you couldnt ask for more in this moment. you were reaching for your phone when you realized mark was still holding your hand you just stopped walking and froze staring at your hands clasped together (they werent intertwined but just holding ya get?) and obviously every force has an equal and opposite Reaction (its SciEnTifiC oKaY) so since you stopped walking and you were connected to mark he kinda was pulled back and this is when you noticed how red his face was and that surprised you but at the same time youre sure you were too (but like im brown so you wouldnt even be able to tell ay ay) "you only noticed i was holding your hand this entire time now?" "uh.. well.. ummm-" "sorry do you want me t-" he said as he started letting go "no no its fine i was just surprised thats all" and you guys continue walking except now your fingers are intertwined and your heart beating double time. you truly liked mark for his personality, for the way he made you laugh, the way he made you feel, the way he treated you, you really liked him. you guys found a a green patch that was pretty empty and decided to sit. mark was pretty sleepy so he asked if he could put his head on your lap and you said sure. it was pretty late at night but you werent scared if anything you felt safe and happy. mark did that to you and as you looked down at his face you truly realized how beautiful he was. his skin was so smooth and the fluorescent lights along the park were reflecting on his round glasses that shaped his face perfectly. you then hesitated before taking his glasses off cause you noticed he takes them off whenever hes tired so you just wanted him to feel comfortable. he opened his eyes at that and looked straight into your eyes, his eyes truly glimmered in the light as if they were shining stars of their own but what you didnt know is that those same eyes have been staring at you all night admiring your beauty and presence. you give him a slight smile and he does the same before shutting his eyes once again. you kinda wished he didnt because you wanted to stare into his eyes for more but atleast he was getting rest. this is when you decided to play some music. it was calm and relaxing and always helped when you were feeling stressed and you could tell mark was for whatever reason cause he refuses to tell you and since music was such a huge part of your life you hoped it would help him too. you started singing along lowly and not to brag or anything but your voice wasnt half bad, after all you were a music major and one of the instruments you play was your throat so you sounded pretty nice and mark seemed to agree with this cause he then reached for your phone and paused the music to say, " i like your voice better" and you being way too scared to sing infront of him refused but eventually he convinced you by saying he would sing as well which he did and you guys sounded nice.

after staying for a bit longer you decided it was time to go home so you told mark to get up and he obliged. he held his hand out for you and even after helping you up he continued to hold it. he insisted on dropping you off to your dorm which hes visited before to watch a movie or two but thats all. on your way back you asked him, "mark are you sure you dont want to talk about whats stressing you out?" "no its okay really, thanks for caring" he replied "anytime and if you change your mind just call me okay?" he nodded you guys reached your house by now and mark with such sincerity in his voice said" thanks for today, really" "we do this almost every week what are you talking about" " i know but just thank you for being you" he says while staring admirably at your face "look mark, well first you know im always here even if we arent working the same shift anymore im glad we became as close as we are now cause i truly cant imagine my life without you and yeah i know its really cheesy but its true but most importantly you need to stop beating yourself up whenever you mess up. youre human and we tend to make mistakes sometimes and thats fine because i know you mark and i know at the end of the day you’re going to be an amazing dancer and youll be great at whatever you want to do so i dont know whats bothering you but whatever it is i know you can overcome it so just keep your head up high and be strong but dont be afraid to talk to people about it. and mark, im just saying all this cause i care abo-" interrupting what you were saying mark comes closer and kisses you. His lips were warm contradicting the the cold weather and one of his hands was around your waist ever so gently pulling you closer to him while the other was on your neck gently caressing it. his lips were so gentle yet so passionate as if you could feel all of his emotions, your eyes were closed and your hands were around his neck and then your fingers ran through his hair. you dont even know how long the kiss went on but you had to pull away cause you were out of breath. Your foreheads were against each other and noses almost touching his eyes were closed and he mumbled under his breath " thank you, thank you so much. thank you for being the person you are and for making me feel the way i feel. every time i see you im so mesmerized by the amount of beauty you can hold. everything you do makes my heart beat faster and im just so glad that youre in my life and im really sorry if you dont feel the same ill act like this never happened if you want me to but i really like you and i have for a long while and i just want to compliment you everytime i see you and hold your hand and kiss you to show you how much i appreciate you and god y/n you make me feel things i dont think ive ever felt befo-" "mark..." you say moving your head to look a him, he hesitantly opens his eyes expecting a rejection "i like you too" you say before giving him a deep but quick kiss and after that he lift you up and hugs you and start cheering almost about how happy he is. And that was the start of your relationship with mark lee <3

3:00 AM 1/24/2019 (this is when I wrote this can you frickin believe wow welp.. that was it)

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cybernightwanderer · 4 years

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I went over the “How to Recognize the Signs of Mental and Emotional Abuse” article and heres whats familiar : 46 out of 64 Signs LOL

-Name-calling. They’ll blatantly call you “stupid,” “a loser,” or words too awful to repeat here. There were too many times my mom would come to my room yelling and threatning to beat, or actually beat me up and call me a whore and a piece of shit. Still does, just doesnt call me a whore now, just calls me stupid and a a piece of shit occasionally. -Character assassination. This usually involves the word “always.” You’re always late, wrong, screwing up, disagreeable, and so on. Basically, they say you’re not a good person. Everyday AALL DAY. Things i used or barely did as a child , and keeps trowing at as an adult. -Yelling. Yelling, screaming, and swearing are meant to intimidate and make you feel small and inconsequential. It might be accompanied by fist-pounding or throwing things. No need to even explain this. -Patronizing. “Aw, sweetie, I know you try, but this is just beyond your understanding.” “Ah nooo, youll never be responsible to have your own life” -Public embarrassment. They pick fights, expose your secrets, or make fun of your shortcomings in public. Yup...

-Dismissiveness. You tell them about something that’s important to you and they say it’s nothing. Body language like eye-rolling, smirking, headshaking, and sighing help convey the same message. Trying to explain to her i dont like something or i dont wanna do something and why, trying to explain certain things she does harms me. And i just get mocked and threatned instead. - Insults of your appearance. They tell you, just before you go out, that your hair is ugly or your outfit is clownish. Every single day. Also to a point that she did this many times in front of strangers, or in front of my friends.

-Belittling your accomplishments. Your abuser might tell you that your achievements mean nothing, or they may even claim responsibility for your success. Yup -Put-downs of your interests. They might tell you that your hobby is a childish waste of time or you’re out of your league when you play sports. Really, it’s that they’d rather you not participate in activities without them. I stopped practising my drawing skills because she would always say i had no future in drawing characters and shitty stuff. Even tho i was starting and practising. That i had no future in it. -Pushing your buttons. Once your abuser knows about something that annoys you, they’ll bring it up or do it every chance they get. Daily picking fights with me, the yells at me for fighting with her and misstreats me. -Threats. Telling you they’ll take the kids and disappear, or saying “There’s no telling what I might do.” Threatning to kick me off the house whenever i refuse to do something she tells me to. For example, a few years ago, i was barely holding on with a minimal wage , she would take a cut out of it, so there was this month i did a whole month without days off to try and gather money to go to barcelona. She knew i had money saved up and threatened to kick me off the house if i didnt give her extra 100 euros for house rent. Usually stuff like this always. -Monitoring your whereabouts. They want to know where you are all the time and insist that you respond to calls or texts immediately. They might show up just to see if you’re where you’re supposed to be. If i go out with my friends or stay in my friends houses, if i go to a concert or anything, she will non stop be calling me and texting until i reply. Even if i already told her who i would be with and where ( i have to tell her always ) And always have to tell what i am doing. If i dont she will be mad for weeks and take it out on me. -Digital spying. They might check your internet history, emails, texts, and call log. They might even demand your passwords. Like the previous one, she asks my aunt to sent her my ig stuff and fb stuff i post, so i had to remove my entire family from my social network. Because she would always come up to me daily “ ah u posted this why? “ wether it would be a selfie or a poem. And is always messaging me on whatsapp and humiliating me and crontrolling wich picture i post on whatsapp. I generaly like to post my user photo of whatsapp as something funny, wether its my face with a filter, or a funny meme. Two months ago i posted a guy with his ass pinned up, wich was hilarious. She kept yelling at me everymorning, and even threatned to hit me , to take the picture down , because it looked bad. The picture was something like this ( not this, but the pose kinda )

- Unilateral decision-making. They might close a joint bank account, cancel your doctor’s appointment, or speak with your boss without asking. ALWAYS does these kinds of things without my consent. I work 12h a day everyday, im always tired, and i barely have money , and she “trying to take care of me “ will settle apointments for really expensive doctors witouth asking me if i even want, and will get mad at me when i tell her to cancel , saying im a big girl that i have to do it, SO i have to take out sometype of time during my busy work day to make a call to cancel something she settled without even asking me , and will be mad for weeks and take it out on me calling me names and shit. And if i dont accept her “ lending me the money for the apointment “ she will get mad and call me ungratfull and stupid. -Financial control. They might keep bank accounts in their name only and make you ask for money. You might be expected to account for every penny you spend. Well yeah.. dont even need to say anything here. - Lecturing. Belaboring your errors with long monologues makes it clear they think you’re beneath them. Or here... -Direct orders. From “Get my dinner on the table now” to “Stop taking the pill,” orders are expected to be followed despite your plans to the contrary. This daily basis. -Outbursts. You were told to cancel that outing with your friend or put the car in the garage, but didn’t, so now you have to put up with a red-faced tirade about how uncooperative you are. Always calling me lazy and shit for not doing HER OWN STUFF. -Treating you like a child. They tell you what to wear, what and how much to eat, or which friends you can see. I am 30 years old. -Feigned helplessness. They may say they don’t know how to do something. Sometimes it’s easier to do it yourself than to explain it. They know this and take advantage of it. Whatever happends she always plays the pity party card “ ahh im old” , “ ahhh i had an aneurism ( even tho she has been fine for two/three years now LOL )”, “ ahh my blood pressure “ She used that as an excuse to always ditch arguments or important discussions when she is loosing, and if i dont shut up she will threaten to kick me off the house or beat me. For example the other day she was shamming me out of nowhere from trying to commit suicide, and i told her she was one of the main reasons. She immediatly started to call me names, tried to hit me, and trow me out of the car. -Unpredictability. They’ll explode with rage out of nowhere, suddenly shower you with affection, or become dark and moody at the drop of a hat to keep you walking on eggshells. She flips randomly during the day, im afraid to leave my room. Or that she will enter my room. -They walk out. In a social situation, stomping out of the room leaves you holding the bag. At home, it’s a tool to keep the problem unresolved. She humiliates me in public then randomly walks out. -Using others. Abusers may tell you that “everybody” thinks you’re crazy or “they all say” you’re wrong. She likes to tell her friends and our family how “ irresponsable”, “immature” and no good for nothing i am, and how i am LEECHING her off... LOL -Jealousy. They accuse you of flirting or cheating on them. Usualy when i game or sometimes, ppl call me and talk to me, and she will eavesdropp my conversation and enter my room to hear better, or later wait until i leave the room , to complain about how i treat my friends so well , and speak so well to them , and how it is possible that i talk to her bad all the time and treat her like shit (? LOL ) Well for starters my friends dont misstreat me or call me names, or try to humiliate me or control me LOL or even pick fights with me. She will get mad at me for not wanting to spend time with her, and spending time with my friends. That im ungratefull and a bad daughter. LOL -Turning the tables. They say you cause their rage and control issues by being such a pain. This, that its my fault. That its my fault everything. - Denying something you know is true. An abuser will deny that an argument or even an agreement took place. This is called gaslighting. It’s meant to make you question your own memory and sanity. For example the other day , olso on the car, with the suicide attempt talk, i was trying to explain why and i told her my most painfull memory of her, was her beating me up for not knowing how to solve a math problem in 3rd grade. That she punched me several times because she tought i had awnsered 7 instead of 1. And she started yelling at me saying i made that up and shit. Like bitch i was afraid of doing my homework home because you would beat the crap out of me, instead of teatching me LOL. She once again used the “ blood pressure “ excuse and tried to hit me and kick me off the car in mid highway. -Using guilt. They might say something like, “You owe me this. Look at all I’ve done for you,” in an attempt to get their way. Ahh this is a classic. She says i owe her everything she asks for because SHE BIRTHED ME AND RAISED ME. And she used this argument to manipulate me in everything. -Goading then blaming. Abusers know just how to upset you. But once the trouble starts, it’s your fault for creating it. Yup -Denying their abuse. When you complain about their attacks, abusers will deny it, seemingly bewildered at the very thought of it. According to her, she just does everything she does because she cares LOL. -Accusing you of abuse. They say you’re the one who has anger and control issues and they’re the helpless victim. LOLOLOL cannot say this enought, SHE ACCUSES ME of being the abusive one , simply because i talk back, because i dont wanna be around her and because i fight with her LOL. Even tho she starts the fights and im just defending myself from her. -Trivializing. When you want to talk about your hurt feelings, they accuse you of overreacting and making mountains out of molehills. Yup -Saying you have no sense of humor. Abusers make personal jokes about you. If you object, they’ll tell you to lighten up. Yup -Blaming you for their problems. Whatever’s wrong in their life is all your fault. You’re not supportive enough, didn’t do enough, or stuck your nose where it didn’t belong. ALSO YUP -Destroying and denying. They might crack your cell phone screen or “lose” your car keys, then deny it. Tried to break my things numerous of times, or trash them or give them away. Wich she did. -Demanding respect. No perceived slight will go unpunished, and you’re expected to defer to them. But it’s a one-way street. Yup... She will happly tell me how to dress saying what im wearing is ugly, i will politely tell her to stop, she will continue to give her “opinion” i will get tired and yell to stop , she will immediatly demand respect and tell me i have no right to talk back at her and that im disrespectfull and stupid. -Shutting down communication. They’ll ignore your attempts at conversation in person, by text, or by phone. Yup -Dehumanizing you. They’ll look away when you’re talking or stare at something else when they speak to you. Yup -Keeping you from socializing. Whenever you have plans to go out, they come up with a distraction or beg you not to go. Also Yup She wouldnt let me go out if i didnt do my bed, and would make up shit just so i wouldnt go out, until i got tired and gave up. -Trying to come between you and your family. They’ll tell family members that you don’t want to see them or make excuses why you can’t attend family functions. Well she constantly came in between my first real good therapist. I was finally seeing a good therapist a few years ago. I was finally relieved and tought i could trust him, all of a suddent she demanded to be in the therapy sessions. So in the sessions instead of talking about what upset me and her constant mental abuse, the therapist gave in to her demands, and started adressing HER issues with me. I remenber the LAST time i decided to attend the doctor. He would first attend my mom , then me. So i came up, and he started his usual talks, and i wanted to talk to him that day about the nightmares i was having and if he could help me. And all of a suddent he cut the conversation off by saying “ ah wait so your mother tells be you have been staying a lot of time on your computer “ “ that you dont socialize with your friends and that you dont go out “ I mean i wonder why i get stuck in my pc and dont go out with my friends LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL She would always cut me off from meeting my friends, she would always control me, so i had less interest or courage to make friends year by year. And gaming was the only thing that brought me joy in my shitty depressed life coz i couldnt develop any interests. -Withholding affection. They won’t touch you, not even to hold your hand or pat you on the shoulder. They may refuse sexual relations to punish you or to get you to do something. She wil straight up give me the cold shoulder, ignore me if she is mad because i didnt do something how she wanted. When i had hand surgery, she refused to go with me, or get me. By me it was ok , she didnt need to go or anything. So after surgery i told the doctors i would take myself home, and why. And they didnt allowe me and still called my mom even thought i told them she wouldnt. She treated me so badly after picking me up from the hospital because they called her. -Tuning you out. They’ll wave you off, change the subject, or just plain ignore you when you want to talk about your relationship. Yup -Actively working to turn others against you. They’ll tell co-workers, friends, and even your family that you’re unstable and prone to hysterics. YUP -Calling you needy. When you’re really down and out and reach out for support, they’ll tell you you’re too needy or the world can’t stop turning for your little problems. YUP -Interrupting. You’re on the phone or texting and they get in your face to let you know your attention should be on them. Yup -Indifference. They see you hurt or crying and do nothing. Yup - Disputing your feelings. Whatever you feel, they’ll say you’re wrong to feel that way or that’s not really what you feel at all. Yup

#domestic violence #domestic abuse #suicide #depression #anxiety #toxic #toxic mother #toxic behaviour #toxic family #self #toughts #end my life #misery #pain #trauma #end my fucking life #end my existence #end my pain #end my misery

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Drew & Carly

Drew: doing my head in Carly: record time Carly: wanna swap seats Drew: funny Drew: sitting next to ro, remember, not ali Carly: shes alright Drew: don't think she's down Drew: soz babe Carly: ha Carly: k but shes not dtf you either Carly: poor baby Drew: fuck off Drew: how would you know Carly: your mood is a giveaway Carly: i kno when youre frustrated boy Drew: bet I won't be by the time this trip is over Carly: idc Carly: make that bet w your gf Drew: lies Drew: poor baby Drew: don't reckon she'd appreciate that Carly: ha Carly: why would i lie Drew: 'cos even if you do care, can't have what you want Carly: i can fuck you whenever i want Carly: rn if i wanted to Drew: weren't talking 'bout me Drew: but nah Carly: k Carly: now youre lying Drew: nope Carly: you didnt come into my inbox to cry about your gf Carly: or did you & your that lad now Carly: embarrassing Drew: don't be a bitch Drew: looking for some peace and quiet is that so much to ask Carly: from me yea Carly: you kno i dont do quiet Carly: not w you Drew: ha Drew: cute Carly: & true Carly: arent you bored Carly: dont you wanna have some fun this trip Drew: i told you i'm going to Drew: w ro Carly: yea Carly: get out my inbox then i gotta make my own Carly: plenty of lads on this coach Drew: and girls Carly: nah Carly: back to boys you kno Drew: shame Drew: good times Carly: yea but youre boring now Drew: fuck off Drew: nah i ain't Drew: ali is Carly: tell your missus Carly: ali can still party Drew: not with us Carly: yea Carly: if she wanted Carly: youre the one on a chain Drew: i do what i want Drew: whenever i want Carly: do something then Carly: be fun Drew: whaddya want me to do on this packed coach Carly: the bathroom is free Carly: but k youre too scared to start the party Drew: not scared Drew: just not a moron Carly: k Carly: ill ask someone else Drew: u do that Drew: know it won't be as good as me Carly: ha Carly: maybe used to be Carly: reckon youve lost your touch Carly: married life will do that like Drew: you reckon? Drew: you wish Carly: i kno Carly: its written on you Carly: bored & boring Carly: you couldnt turn me on now Drew: yea yea yea Drew: otherwise written all over your face, babe Carly: ha no Carly: check me out as much as you want you wont see that Drew: so up yourself Carly: cuz im not gonna waste my time w you k Carly: my das more fun than you rn Drew: know you're a traveller like Drew: but that's sick Carly: you cant even slag me off proper these days Carly: who are you Carly: sad Drew: 'cos I don't need another bird doing my head in Drew: all chat but you're the same as her, like Carly: fuck off Carly: nothing ive said i wouldnt follow through on Carly: youre the one thats being a pussy Drew: yeah? well you're a nag Drew: I don't wanna fuck you, get off my dick Carly: get out my inbox Carly: you came pouting to me Drew: 'scuse me for thinking you were different Carly: what do you want boy? Drew: forget it Carly: nah Carly: ask for it Drew: Already did Drew: just be a laugh, yeah, don't get on at me Carly: k Carly: whats in it for me tho? Carly: genuinely asking Drew: idk Drew: didn't promise there was Carly: least youve finally stopped lying Drew: ugh Drew: thought we were getting somewhere girl Carly: im only saying Carly: dont get in a mood Drew: i ain't Drew: who are u sharing a room with Carly: nobody Carly: the numbers are off Drew: lucky Carly: you should be more like me & people wouldnt wanna share w you Drew: always have caleb Drew: banging on and on about his girl Carly: no thanks Drew: didn't think so Drew: nightmare Carly: welcome to the other bed Carly: unless your gonna call me a nympho over it Drew: teachers won't be down but might take you up on that Carly: idc Carly: dont think they were down for me being on this trip Carly: but i paid my money Drew: yeah, that's all they care about Drew: though they were all out there with the behave or you'll get kicked threats Drew: standard Carly: yea Carly: try & send me back home my ma & da arent there Carly: be very irresponsible like Drew: they never are Drew: but they don't need to know that Carly: news to them i had a passport Drew: yeah, only last 5 years don't they? Drew: guess when you was 10 they couldn't always piss off without ya Carly: ha Carly: youre funny when youre not sulking Drew: shut up Drew: 'cos you're alright when you're not being a bitch Carly: ive not been a bitch to you since i was making you work for your 3way Drew: well that was hot so acceptable Carly: k so i can be a bitch if im hot yea Carly: ill remember that Drew: goes without saying Drew: fit girls can get away with anything Carly: so you do think im fit Drew: you know you are Carly: yea but idk what you think Drew: gotta keep you guessing, babe Carly: please Drew: please what? Carly: please do Carly: im bored Drew: same Carly: i can pass you my water bottle if you want Carly: all i could smuggle tho Drew: realtalk Drew: no one's smuggling over borders Drew: not worth the aggro Drew: you'll get stuff here no doubt, i'm losing a week's wages 😒 Carly: its a holiday Carly: itll be worth it Carly: especially if you arent all talk Carly: your gf be losing her v like Drew: i ain't but she is Drew: gonna be hard to get her to 🤐 but if anyone can Carly: in it for the challenge Carly: i get it now Drew: what's to get Drew: she's hot Carly: k Carly: but uptight Drew: better than loose Carly: nah Carly: dont tell me you dont want a girl whod let you do anything Drew: not if she's let every cunt do the same, nah Drew: besides, can train a girl like Ro Carly: she isnt stupid enough to blindly follow commands Carly: or you around Drew: 🤔 we'll see Drew: not that its stupid Drew: i'm not fun to be around? Carly: you were Carly: before you got a wife Drew: not asking for ya Drew: but see, you know what you're missing Carly: youre a good fuck ive never denied it Carly: fun when you want Drew: exactly Drew: its Ro's turn to find out Carly: so go chat her up Carly: you love foreplay Drew: don't reckon she wants her first time to be in the coach toilets Carly: ha Carly: didnt mean you had to do it now boy Drew: you know Drew: work fast Carly: yea Carly: thats romance Carly: dont keep a girl waiting Drew: I am capable Drew: if the situation calls Carly: dont waste that info on me Drew: never Carly: seat swap w me tho Carly: up the front is not a party Carly: you throw up once cuz your hanging & get stuck there for life Drew: 😂 Drew: diddums Drew: alright Drew: can chat up woodfield Drew: caleb will be buzzin' Carly: shes got a body under those new jeans Carly: a goer i reckon Drew: you would Drew: only boys my arse 😏 Carly: gotta do something Carly: bored enough to break a few rules Drew: i see u Drew: MY girlfriend, remember? Carly: what do you think you see Drew: just sayin', asking to move, then saying you're gonna lez off Drew: not that thick 😂 Carly: but obvious Carly: as fantasies go you could do better Drew: been there Drew: done that Carly: not w her Carly: shes no ali but thats mean Drew: again, doubt she'll want you there to help with the devirginizing Drew: try not to take it person Carly: i dont wanna be there Carly: the first time is always shit Drew: nah Drew: not with me Carly: ha Carly: youre not that good Drew: pshhh Drew: don't be bitter Carly: im not Carly: its facts Carly: shell be so nervous youll be lucky if you get more than the tip in Carly: probs shes a crier too Drew: shut up Carly: its not your bad Carly: just how it is Carly: itll get better Carly: maybe good Drew: well it's off-putting Drew: men don't need to know about that stuff Drew: keep it to yourselves Carly: k Carly: just trying to help you be more than all chat Drew: yeah right Drew: like you wanna help her Carly: why wouldnt i Carly: i said shes alright Drew: still, no need to be that charitable Drew: why d'you care? Carly: not offering to warm her up for you babe Carly: ive probs hung out w her more than you have Carly: why shouldnt i care Drew: 'cos she ain't your girlfriend Drew: between me and her, not the fucking committee Carly: unlike you i can care about people im not fucking Drew: 🙄 Drew: whatevs Carly: why do you care if i talk about her or not Carly: that i kno her Drew: 'cos i know what girls are like Drew: always talking Carly: me and her arent bffs Carly: i wouldnt be talking to you if we were Drew: i'd hope not Carly: so dont cry Carly: im not telling her anything Drew: stop acting like you give a shit then Carly: im not acting anything Carly: thats all you babe Drew: fuck off Carly: nowhere to go Carly: busy coach remember Carly: what do you get out of being w her? Carly: she doesnt put out & she does your head in Carly: why bother Carly: there are other virgins in town, i think Drew: idk Drew: she's nice Carly: that it Drew: nah Drew: she's good girlfriend material Drew: you can see, idk why you want me to sing her praises to you Drew: masochist, like 😂 Carly: im only asking Carly: why dont you wanna sing her praises to everyone Drew: i'm not that sorta bloke Drew: cringe Carly: yea Carly: its sweet tho Drew: if you say so Drew: just makes me feel 🤢 Carly: ha Carly: better get up the front boy Drew: deffo Drew: any escape from the caleb and ali show Carly: true Carly: ms woodfield will distract you Carly: shes looking thirsty might offer her a drink Drew: queue for that toilet getting longer by the minute Carly: yea Carly: as if caleb & ali arent in there Carly: slacking Carly: like i taught her nothing Drew: probs just jerk him off in the seats like Drew: not backrow coolkids but still pretty standard Carly: aw Carly: cute Drew: how is that cute Carly: theyre in love Carly: dont be jealous Carly: youd like it if your girl offered to do you Drew: no they ain't Drew: she was with you not that long ago Drew: be on to the next soon Carly: nah Carly: she loves him & its mutual Drew: things change Drew: we don't need to make a song and dance every time someone gets with someone else like Carly: who is Carly: its no big Carly: but its still happening Drew: i'd rather just ignore it 'til it goes away Drew: not like you up in my business 😜 Carly: im not up in any part of you Carly: relax Drew: mhmm Drew: lie harder Carly: nah Carly: i wanna be but im not Carly: facts Carly: id be lying if i said i didnt want you Drew: i know Drew: prove it though Carly: how Carly: what do you want me to do Drew: brave the queue 🤳 Carly: k Carly: [Sends pics and video also because she knows he can't watch it in front of the squad] Drew: tease Drew: swap seats with me so ms woodfield can watch too Carly: prick Carly: youre a bigger tease than me tho Drew: no way Drew: i got the evidence to prove it now Carly: if i was a tease id have given you nothing Carly: let you sweat it Carly: like you are to me Drew: you ain't asked for anything Carly: but you kno what i want Carly: give me something Drew: [Sends ab pic that was just his last Insta] Carly: come on Carly: dont be like that Drew: what? Carly: such an arsehole Carly: im not begging Drew: 😂✌

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anthonyekoehler · 5 years

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PHH Mortgage

Creditors like PHH Mortgage cannot harass you over a debt. You have rights under the law, and we will stop the harassment once and for all.

THE BEST PART IS…

If PHH Mortgage violated the law, you may be entitled to money damages and PHH Mortgage will pay our fees and costs. You won’t owe us a dime for our services. Plus, some of our clients also receive debt relief and cleaned-up credit reports. You have nothing to lose! Call us today at 888-572-0176 for a free consultation.

Who is PHH Mortgage?

PHH Mortgage is a mortgage banker and third-party debt collection agency based in Mount Laurel, New Jersey. Founded in 1977, PHH Mortgage recently merged with Ocwen, taking on customers of Homeward Residential in the process, and is not accredited by the Better Business Bureau.

PHH Mortgage’s Address, Phone Number, and Contact Information

PHH Mortgage is headquartered at 1 Mortgage Way, Mount Laurel, NJ 08054-4637. The main telephone number is 800-210-8849 and the main website is www.phhmortgage.com/.

PHH Mortgage Lawsuits

If you want to know just how unhappy consumers are with PHH Mortgage, take a look at the number of lawsuits filed against the agency on the Public Access to Court Electronic Records (“PACER”). PACER lists over 5,400 lawsuits involving PHH Mortgage throughout the United States, and there are also likely hundreds of claims filed through the American Arbitration Association. Nowadays, most credit card companies have arbitration clauses, which mean that if you have a complaint with a credit card company, you must file your claim in arbitration. Arbitration limits discovery, is not public, has a limited appellate process, and, most importantly, is funded primarily by the banks and big businesses. While it can be difficult to get a fair chance in arbitration, but the good news is we have filed hundreds of credit harassment cases in arbitration, and we know how to aggressively fight these cases against the big banks and businesses even when arbitration is necessary.

PHH Mortgage Complaints

The Telephone Consumer Protection Act (TCPA) protects you from robocalls, which are those annoying, automated, recorded calls that computers make all day long. You can tell it’s a robocall because either no one responds on the other end of the line, or there is a delay when you pick up the phone before a live person responds. You can receive $500 per call if PHH Mortgage violates the TCPA. Have you received a message from this agency that sounds pre-recorded or cut-off at the beginning or end? These are tell-tale signs that the message is pre-recorded, and if you have these messages on your cell phone, you may have a TCPA case against the agency.

The Electronic Fund Transfer Act (EFTA) protects electronic payments that are deducted from bank accounts. If PHH Mortgage took unauthorized deductions from your bank account, you may have an EFTA claim against the agency. PHH Mortgage, like most collection agencies, wants to set up recurring payments from consumers; imagine how much money it can earn if hundreds, even thousands, of consumers electronically pay them $50 – $100 or more per month. If you agreed to this type of reoccurring payment, the agency must follow certain steps to comply with the EFTA. Did PHH Mortgage continue to take electronic payments after you told them to stop? Did they take more money from your checking account than you agreed to? If so, we can discuss your rights and potential case under the EFTA.

The Fair Credit Reporting Act (FCRA) works to ensure that no information reported to your credit report is false. In essence, it gives you the right to dispute those inaccuracies that you find on your credit report. We’ve handled many cases in which a debt collection agency reported debt on a consumer’s credit report to obtain leverage over the consumer. If PHH Mortgage is on your credit report, they may tell you that they’ll remove the debt from your credit report if you pay it; this is commonly known as “pay for delete.” If the original creditor is on your report rather than the debt collector, and you pay off the debt, both entities should accurately report this on your credit report.

Several states also have laws to provide its citizens an additional layer of protection. For example, if you live in California, Florida, Michigan, Montana, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Texas, or Wisconsin, you may be able to add a state-law claim to your federal law claim above. North Carolina, for example, has one of the most consumer-friendly statutes in the country: if you live in NC and are harassed over a debt, you may receive $500 – $4,000 in damages per violation. We work with a local counsel in NC and our NC clients have received some great results in debt collection harassment cases. If you live in North Carolina and are being harassed by a debt collector, you have leverage to obtain a great settlement.

How do we Use the Law to Help You?

We will use state and federal laws to immediately stop PHH Mortgage’s debt collection. We will send a cease-and-desist letter to stop the harassment today, and if PHH Mortgage violates the FDCPA, EFTA, FCRA, or any state law, you may be entitled to money damages. For example, under the FDCPA, you may receive up to $1,000 in damages plus actual damages. The FDCPA also has a fee-shift provision, which means the debt collector will pay your attorneys’ fees and costs. If you have a TCPA case against the agency, we will handle it based on a contingency fee and you won’t pay us a dime unless you win.

THAT’S NOT ALL…

We have helped thousands of consumers stop phone calls. We know how to stop the harassment and get you money damages. Once again: you will not pay us a dime for our services. We will help you based on a fee-shift provision and/or contingency fee, and the debt collector will pay your attorneys’ fees and costs.

What if PHH Mortgage is on My Credit Report?

Based on our experience, some debt collectors may credit-report, which means one may mark your credit report with the debt they are trying to collect. In addition to or instead of the debt collector, the original creditor may also be on your credit report in a separate entry, and it’s important to properly identify these entities because you will want both to update your credit report if or when you pay off the debt.

THE GOOD NEWS IS…

If PHH Mortgage is on your credit report, we can help you dispute it. Mistakes on your credit report can be very costly: along with causing you to pay higher interest rates, you may be denied credit, insurance, a rental home, a loan, or even a job because of these mistakes. Some mistakes may include someone else’s information on your credit report, inaccurate public records, stale collection accounts, or even being a victim of identity theft. If you have a mistake on your credit report, there is a process to dispute it, and my office will help you obtain your credit report and dispute any inaccurate information.

REMEMBER…

If a credit reporting agency violates its obligations under the Fair Credit Reporting Act (FCRA), you may be entitled to statutory damages up to $1,000, and the credit reporting agency will be required to fix the error. The FCRA also has a fee-shift provision, which means the credit reporting agency will pay your attorneys’ fees and costs. You won’t owe us a dime for our services. We have helped hundreds of consumers fix inaccurate information on their credit reports, and we’re ready to help you, too.

Cases We’ve Handled Against PHH Mortgage

I think you’ll agree when we say that threats and harassment from collection agencies can be pretty intimidating. However, we can stop the harassment and get you money damages under the law, and the collection agency will pay your attorneys’ fees and costs. Here is one case we’ve handled against PHH Mortgage:

Primitivo R. v. PHH Mortgage – In November 2018, Primitivo of Los Angeles County, California, filed a claim against PHH Mortgage for violations of the Telephone Consumer Protection Act (TCPA) and Rosenthal Fair Debt Collection Practices Act (FDCPA). Complaints consisted of frequent harassing phone calls, including robocalls and continuing after the plaintiff requested that the calls stop.

What Our Clients Say About Us

Agruss Law Firm, LLC, has over 830 outstanding client reviews through Yotpo, an A+ BBB rating, and over 110 five-star reviews on Google. Here’s what some of our clients have to say about us:

“Michael Agruss handled two settlements for me with great results and he handled them quickly. He also settled my sister’s case quickly and now her debt is clear. I highly recommend Michael.”

“Agruss Law Firm was very helpful, they helped me solved my case regarding the unwanted calls. I would highly recommend them. Thank you very much Mike Agruss!”

“Agruss Law Firm was very helpful to me and my veteran father! We were harassed daily and even called names for a loan that was worthless! Agruss stepped in and not only did they stop harassing, they stopped calling all together!! He even settled it so I was paid back for the problems they caused!”

Can PHH Mortgage Sue Me?

Yes, PHH Mortgage can sue you. PHH Mortgage can hire a lawyer to file a breach of contract lawsuit against you for the underlying debt, fees, and costs. If you’ve been sued by PHH Mortgage, do not ignore the lawsuit; you may have defenses. If you ignore the lawsuit, default will be entered and the agency may seek to garnish your wages. If you receive notice of a lawsuit, contact an experienced attorney as soon as possible, even if you intend to represent yourself pro se. If PHH Mortgage has threatened to sue you, contact Agruss Law Firm as soon as possible; we’re here to help.

Can PHH Mortgage Garnish My Wages?

Yes, if PHH Mortgage has a judgment entered against you. If PHH Mortgage is currently garnishing your wages or threatening to do so, contact our office as soon as possible.

PHH Mortgage Settlement

If you want to settle a debt with PHH Mortgage, ask yourself these questions first:

Do I really owe this debt?

Is this debt within the statute of limitations?

Is this debt on my credit report?

If I pay this debt, will PHH Mortgage remove it from my credit report?

If I pay this debt, will the third-party debt collector remove it from my credit report?

If I pay this debt, will I receive written confirmation from PHH Mortgage confirming the payment and settlement terms?

These are not the only things to consider when dealing with debt collectors. We are here to help you answer the questions above, and much more. Whether it’s harassment, settlement, pay-for-delete, or any other legal issue with PHH Mortgage, we at Agruss Law Firm are here to help you.

Top Debt Collection Violations

Debt collection laws provided a laundry list of what collectors can and cannot do while collecting a debt. Based on our years of experience handling thousands of debt collection harassment cases, here’s what collection agencies most often to do to violate the law.

Called you about a debt you do not owe.

Called you at work after you told them you cannot receive calls at work.

Left you a message without identifying the company’s name.

Left you a message without disclosing that the call is from a debt collector.

Called third parties (family, friends, coworkers, or neighbors) even though the collection agency knows your contact information.

Disclosed to a third party (family, friends, coworkers, or neighbors) that you owe a debt.

Contacted you after you said stop calling.

Threatened you with legal action (such as a lawsuit or wage garnishment).

Called you before 8:00 AM or after 9:00 PM.

Continued to call you after you have told the collector you cannot pay the debt.

Communicated (phone or letter) with you after you filed for bankruptcy.

Failed to mark the debt on your credit report as disputed after you disputed the debt.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do I have to pay your fees and costs for helping me with my consumer rights case? No. We handle consumer rights cases based on a fee-shift provision and/or a contingency fee. That means, either the other side pays your fees and costs, or we take a percentage of your recovery. Whether it’s a fee-shift case or a contingency-fee case, we don’t get paid unless you get paid, and you’ll never owe us a penny for our time.

What are the damages under the Telephone Consumer Protection Act? You can get $500 per robocall, or $1,500 per robocall if the robocalls were willful. In any type of settlement, often times Defendants pay much less than $500 per call. However, if there are 50 calls at issue, even at $250 per call, your case could settle for $12,500.00.

Are there state laws that protect me from original creditors? Yes! Several states also have laws that provide its citizens an additional layer of protection. For example, if you live in California, Connecticut, Florida, Kansas, Massachusetts, Michigan, Missouri, Montana, North Carolina, Nevada, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Texas, and Wisconsin, you have additional state-law rights.

What type of debt is covered under state laws that protect me from original creditors? Only consumer debt, such as personal, family, and household debts. For example, money you owe on a personal credit card, an auto loan, a medical bill, or a utility bill. State laws usually do not cover debts you incurred to run a business, or debts regarding unpaid taxes, or traffic tickets.

Does the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act apply to banks or credit card companies? No. Only third-party debt collectors are bound by the FDCPA. That is, original creditors, such as credit card companies and banks are not bound by the FDCPA.

Are mistakes on credit reports common? Yes! Are you one of the 40 million Americans that have a mistake on their credit report? Mistakes on your credit report can be very costly. Along with causing you to pay higher interest rates, you may be denied credit, insurance, a rental home, a loan, or even a job because of these mistakes. Some mistakes may include someone else’s information on your credit report, inaccurate public records, stale collection accounts, or maybe you were a victim of identity theft.

What do I do if I have a mistake on my credit report? If you have a mistake on your credit report, there is a process to dispute them. My office will help you pull your credit report and dispute any inaccurate information. If a credit reporting agency violates its obligations under the Fair Credit Reporting Act (“FCRA”), you may be entitled to statutory damages up to $1,000.00, plus the credit reporting agency will be required to fix the error. The FCRA also has a fee-shift provision. This means, the credit reporting agency pays your attorney’s fees and costs. Therefore, you will not pay me a penny for my time. To speed up the process, please get a free copy of your credit report at www.annualcreditreport.com. You can also learn more about the FCRA and your rights at http://www.agrussconsumerlaw.com/practices/common-credit-report-errors/.

Share Your Complaints Against PHH Mortgage Below

We encourage you to post your complaints about PHH Mortgage. Sharing your complaints against this agency can help other consumers understand what to do when this company starts calling. Sharing your experience may help someone else!

HERE’S THE DEAL!

If you are being harassed by PHH Mortgage over a debt, you may be entitled to money damages – up to $1,000 for harassment, and $500 – $1,500 for illegal robocalls. Under state and federal laws, we will help you based on a fee-shift provision and/or contingency fee, which means the debt-collector pays your attorneys’ fees and costs. You won’t owe us a dime for our services. We have settled thousands of debt collection harassment cases, and we’re prepared to help you, too. Contact Agruss Law Firm at 888-572-0176 to stop the harassment once and for all.

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#Debt collection law #consumer law #Debt relief

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