#by myself!!

[theshadowrealmitself]

Not enough people talk about the people who were homeschooled but not because they had weirdly overprotective parents

I was homeschooled for all of highschool by my grandma, except she didn’t actually put in any effort with me, she just gave me the (extremely weird) booklets and I had to teach myself and she would get upset with me if I asked for help

So I am one of those weird homeschooled kids, but I’m not like the other homeschooled kids, I’m like…super-neglected homeschooled kids instead of super-sheltered

(there was definitely some stuff I didn’t know going into college but it wasn’t because I had adults trying to “protect” me from everything, they just didn’t care enough to teach me)

Either way I’m a very weird adult and I just wanna bring attention to the fact there are people on the other spectrum of being homeschooled, not all of us had the overprotective parents, some of us are even worse at talking to people

#no fandom #just remembering this because my social skills are shit!! #they’re terrible!!! #but when I try to explain the weird homeschooling stuff people don’t understand #I didn’t even have adults to interact with #and all my siblings had friends so they’d never be home around me #it was just me!! #by myself!! #in a room teaching myself schoolwork!!!! #for years!!!! #I Am Feral!!!! #or wild!! #or something!!! #I’m just. not socialized #and then I was actually getting better in college #then the pandemic hit and I was once again in my room #teaching myself for online classes because my professors had no idea how to teach kids online #and then at work I’m timed with everything #seriously even bathroom breaks are timed so there’s almost no time to socialize unless you break the rules #this is not a vent I’m just spreading awareness that I exist #and I think others like me exist? #and we have no social skills for the love of everything be patient with us #don’t ask about the years before being homeschooled it was like a cult you don’t wanna know

[tothechaos]

me trying to convince myself that the whole spectrum of human emotions is a good and necessary thing to feel even if its not comfortable while im actively experiencing emotions that make me feel like my bones are being dissolved in acid

#im gonna give myself an ulcer. #1k #5k #10k #25k #50k #100k

[wolfythewitch]

How does this keep happening to me

#i stole these screenshots they arent mine LOL #but if i had a nickel for every time #i could probably buy myself a meal

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[theriverbeyond]

i must not get takeout. takeout is the wallet-killer. takeout is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face the kitchen, fridge, and pantry. i will make choices about what to cook and then execute them. when hunger is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.

#trb.txt #me at myself you are NOT ALLOWED to get takeout again this week we have food at home 😭

[tariah23]

Oh…. Well, it’s over for Crunchyroll I guess

#Crunchyroll #piracy #funimation #money hungry ass streaming service #rambling #I’ve never paid for a streaming service in my life thank god #I appreciated using others accounts but I personally cannot see myself paying this much for a service if I had the funds 😭! #get back to pirating kings!!! #anime has always been one of the easiest forms of media to pirate anyway so y’all got this #CR is definitely not worth paying for though #CR is certainly not worth paying this much for even if it’s a yearly one time fee #capitalism #the fact that CR has always had pretty bad quality as a streaming service anyway #it buffers every time you pause or rewind anything

[lucidloving]

@roach-works // Melissa Broder, "Problem Area" // Mary Oliver, "The Return" // @annavonsyfert // Koyoharu Gotouge, Demon Slayer // Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance // David Levithan, How They Met and Other Stories // Tennessee Williams, Notebooks

#theme: saving yourself #my favourite thing about myself is how i always pick myself back up #and make things better #again and again #web weaving #webs #poetry #aesthetic #prose #prose poetry #art #collage #literature #books #book quotes #novels #novel quotes #poems #quotes #words #positivity

[nighthawkes]

I must sleep. Sleep is the mind-healer. Sleep is the big-life that brings total ability to fucking do anything. I will face my bed. I will permit the blankie to pass over me and snores to pass through me. And when sleep has gone past I will turn the outer eye to greet the new morning. When the sleep has gone there will be everything. Energy and will to live will remain.

#having a come to Jesus with myself about trying to work late #sleep is the only path to productivity. rest is the only thing that lets me get things done. #litany against not laying down

[lesbiciousbeginnings]

When you’ve been cooking for long enough, you stop making recipes and start making “shit in a skillet” and “whatever soup”

#mine #I’ll follow a recipe if I’m cooking for others but for myself? babygirl I just throw in whatever sounds good

[lastoneout]

Ya know when people told me "when you're finally safe enough that you can leave survival mode and start to let go of and process your c-ptsd/trauma things are probably going to get really, really bad before they slowly start to get better" I thought that was reasonable. I did not understand that by "things are going to get bad" they meant "you're going to find yourself in the worst mental state of your entire life, but dw, that means it's working" and tbh I simply wish someone had been more clear.

Edit: If everyone could please take a minute and think about what it must feel like to be struggling and then have multiple strangers say to your face that they find the prospect of going through what you're going through so horrifying that they'd rather kill themselves and then stop leaving comments like that I would greatly appreciate it.

#hply fuck y'all I haven't felt like this?? ever??? #tryinf to be gentle with myself #but I truly feel like I'm made of glass #personal #negative #vent #cw suicide mention #ask to tag

[etherealspacejelly]

me when the disability disables me: oh what the fuck? this sucks. what the hell man!

#autism #actually autistic #adhd #audhd #disability #currently lying in bed thinking about all the Tasks i gotta do today and i cant motivate myself to do Any of them #:(

[dendrochronologies]

maya angelou saying the funniest thing anyone has ever said about editing, which i can never let myself forget EVER AGAIN [x]

#OK. YOU'RE RIGHT. SO WHAT? DON'T EVER MENTION THIS TO ME AGAIN. IF YOU DO I WILL NEVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN. #i used to think about this interview all the tiiiiime i can't believe i let myself lose track of it!!!!!!! #maya angelou #FAVE #editing #*r #god i've read this a thousand times and i still laugh every time it's so GOOD #'OK. YOU'RE RIGHT. SO WHAT. DON'T EVER MENTION THIS TO ME AGAIN' #notifications are off for this besties 💗 #i will eventually turn reblogs back on but 20k notes overnight was a little too much pls slow down ✋️ #also pls do not follow me unless you are desperately in love with me. i can't make silly little personal posts with so many of you here!!!!

[heedra]

unsung benefit i think a lot of ppl are sleeping on with using the public library is that i think its a great replacement for the dopamine hit some ppl get from online shopping. it kind of fills that niche of reserving something that you then get to anticipate the arrival of and enjoy when it arrives, but without like, the waste and the money.

#im not much of an online shopper myself but i do find that the feeling i get from browsing the library catalogue to place holds #is the same i get from figuring out how to spend a gift card

[ace-and-ranty]

I gotta say, one of the greatest achievements of my 20s was that I learned (mostly) to differentiate between:

"I truly do not want to go" and

"I'm just feeling the Demand Avoidance, and I will like it once I get there."

#I have learned in my 20s #sometimes I DO just gotta make myself go places even if I don't feel like it #I'll like it once I get there.

[kitkatpancakestack]

unavoidable that you will be the villain in someone else's story. You will be painted in an unfavorable light. You will be the irredeemable one. and all of this will happen despite how nice you might usually be or how kind or how respectful or how warm. and you will just have to move on.

#more as a reminder to myself #it's been a while lol #k spirals

[ot3]

i dont like the idea that kids these days are doing their fandom rps with ai chatbots. that's how you're supposed to make lifelong friends as a weird really online teen.

#i was never really an rper of any kind it just did not do it for me #im like im sorry actually i cant do this collaboratively i need to be controlling all of the little dolls myself. #however homestuck rp deck epicmafia. now that was another story