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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 5 months

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The Lonely Souls Club 1

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as stalking, loneliness, noncon, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Two lost souls cross, but not all those are lost, want to be found.

Characters: Bucky Barnes

Note: Idk, something a bit different.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

Bucky

She doesn’t see him but he sees her. He’s not hiding. He’s right there. If she just looked up, he’d be caught. But she doesn’t so he remains.

The pointed led scratches over the thick paper. Beside the open sketchpad is a plate of orange chicken and lo mein. He hasn’t touched either. His appetite has wandered away like his mind.

Carefully he etches the line of her nose. She carries a lot of her character there, as she scrunches it at whatever she’s reading then wiggles it as she reaches to sooth an itch. She never quite stops moving, like a hummingbird, she’s aflutter.

Mrs. Zhao comes by her table to deliver her food. A plate of dumplings steaming amid a bed of bean sprouts and broccoli. A quiet thank you is uttered but her eyes don’t meet the elder woman’s gaze. He notices how she can hardly look anywhere but the pages beneath her fingers. Her shield against the world around her.

She closes the book and slides it to the edge of the narrow table for two. She grabs the chopsticks and slides off the paper sleeve. She pulls, struggling to pry them apart only for the left one to break in two, still stuck to the other. Disappointment shadows her features and she lays the chopsticks down mournfully.

He scribbles, trying to capture her expression. He has several crowded onto the page; her pensive stare, her scowling focus, and the shadow of a smile that dimples her cheeks. She takes the fork and pokes at a dumpling. The sharp tines release a small plume of steam.

She uses the side to cut into the tender shell of the dumpling. She blows over a small morsel before tasting it. Her delight is plain as she chews slowly, savouring the taste. As he watches, he recalls his own frigid food.

He lets the notebook close on its own. He leaves it by his elbow, setting the pencil down to roll against its spine. He pulls his plate close, twirling a knot of noodles around his fork. He takes a bite and peeks over at her.

He pretends that they sit together, that they’re eating at the same table. In some other world, they would be. This would be a sweet date he surprised her with and she would thank him with a smile. Her real smile, the one she chews on but doesn’t let free.

But this isn’t that world. This is reality and he’s just a stranger. She doesn’t know him. She hasn’t even noticed him sitting right there. He puts the fork down and sits back. His appetite curdles to hot bile.

The loneliness is what he hates the most about this new world. The people around him move too fast, they’re all lost in themselves, they’re looking with seeing, talking without listening. It’s like they don’t even speak the same language.

He asks Mrs. Zhao for a to-go box. Another pile of leftovers to go with the rest. It’s habit. He hates to see a meal go wasted. He remembers the days of mustard sandwiches, when his mother scraped every grain of flour to make a loaf. Nearly a century. A hundred years lost, a life stolen. From him.

He packs up the noodles and the saucy chicken and snaps the lid shut. He doesn’t leave yet. She’s still eating. Just as deliberately as before. Her careful bites are self-conscious as she dabs a napkin to her lips now and again. She doesn’t finish hers either.

She accepts a box and a fresh set of chopsticks to take with her. She slides the remnants of her meal into the container and closes it, fingers squeezing the edges as she checks to make certain it’s secure. She doesn’t leave either. She lingers as she resumes her reading, just a few pages before she finishes the chapter.

She counts out a tip on the table top and stacks it by her empty plate. He tilts his head. She’s a creature out of time. Sort of like him. He always sees the plastic swiping or the tap of a watch that has the machine chirping. She’s old-fashioned, he likes that.

She uses the table to leverage herself to her feet. Her hips are slightly crooked as she stands and pulls on her light baby blue jacket. It’s long and belted at the waist but she leaves it open. She slips her book into her canvas bag and hangs it over her shoulder. She cradles the container in her arm, leaning on the chair before she takes her first step.

He noted that before. One leg seems longer than the other as she limps across the quiet restaurant. She doesn’t seem bothered by her uneven gait, she simply goes on. She stops by the door and looks at the little figurine; a smiling cat waving an arm.

He puts his head down and listens to her departure. He looks down at his gloves hands, turning over his left as a glint of metal peeks out below the sleeve. Someone like him can be fixed but she’s there, with her small steps, forgotten.

He gets up so quickly, he hits his leg on the table. He hurriedly gathers up his sketchbook and clutches it against his leftovers. He waves to Mrs. Zhao as he marches out but can’t untangle his voice from his chest. He doesn’t want to lose her. He can’t lose another thing.

In the street, he catches sight of her blue coat. She’s not very quick as it is. He can easily keep up but he doesn’t want to meet her pace. She can’t see him. Not yet.

He rounds the corner nearly a block back from her. He pauses to feign interest in a window as she clutches her hip and slows. She stops not much further down as a bearded man sits against the brick with a cup jingling in his hand. She speaks so quietly, even the man on the pavement has to lean in. If it wasn’t for the laboratory torture, Bucky wouldn’t hear her either.

She’s sorry that she spent all her change but he can have the food. At first, the man’s face twists, he doesn’t seem happy with that. Then he accepts as if he can’t bear to deny her. Who could?

“Thanks, lady,” the man sounds like a buzzard.

She nods and wishes him a good day, as good as it can be, she adds. Then she’s off again.

As Bucky trails her, he’s reminded of someone else. Of someone who once needed him. His protection and care. Just another person who abandoned him. The one person who could’ve understood him. Gone, just like everything else.

He tucks his chin down, eyes narrowing on the woman. Target acquired. He shakes off that thought, that worrying echo of the past. He’s not the machine they made him. He’s still a man. Alone and broken, just like they left him.

Like her.

Her

Just along the crooked and cracked walk, behind the overgrown bush, there lays the peeling door behind the creaky metal grate. It’s a grim scene but sometimes you pretend it’s a hidden entrance and that you’re unlocking the passage to some fantastical world. You twist the key, wiggling it before it catches, and you pull as hard as you can.

The wrought iron is heavy and one of the bars juts out enough to catch your sleeve. You use your shoulder to hold the outer door open as you unlock the second. You stumble inside, your hip achy and overworked. You close both doors tight, cranking the deadbolts back into place.

The rain will come soon. It’s why you wore your jacket. You expected it to come earlier but you’re glad it didn’t. The change in pressure always wracks your bones.

You hang the baby blue coat as you put your canvas bag on the worn wicker seat of the chair beside the door. The apartment is small but it’s all yours. The single room is a kitchen, bedroom, and everything else but the bathroom. That is barely more than a closet.

There’s a thump from above. Several as the neighbours’ toddler barrels around. You should’ve waited until after nap time to leave.

You leave your boots on the woven mat and fish out the novel from your bag. You limp across to the folding couch, still a bed as you hadn’t bothered to roll away the flimsy mattress. You lower yourself onto it, pulling a pillow behind you as you recline.

Your pelvis is sore. The chair in the restaurant wasn’t very comfortable, though the food was good for the cost. You don’t eat out very often. Not really at all but it’s your birthday and you wanted to do something special.

You open the pages and quickly dive back into another life. A world where magic can weave miracles but tempts a dangerous darkness in its use. No good thing comes without a price.

You slump down as you read. The sunlight slowly fades as the clouds shift and the din deepens. You close the book as you look across the room at the floor lamp. The small distance across the room seems akin to Tolkien’s infamous trek. You don’t want to get up, you just want to sleep in the damp afternoon.

You sigh and put the book beside you. You rub your eyes and forehead and bend one leg, then the other. Your muscles are taut and protest with a dull burn. You can’t read in the dark, you’ll get another headache.

You groan and push yourself to sit on the edge of the mattress. The slender frame echoes you sharply as you stand. Your right foot comes down heavier than the left as you cross the space. You flick on the light and flinch as a storm cloud seems to pass over your very window.

You turn to face the gap between the curtains. How strange. You near the pane as rain speckles on the outside. You peer up at the slat of sky visible between the rooftops.

You twitch again as you hear something mulch. You whip your head to the side as you look towards the bush. It could be a critter hiding in the bin, no time to find their nest as the storm rises.

You back away, puffing out your fright. Living alone makes you paranoid, even if you prefer it. You live by your own rules, your own schedule, your own whims. The problem is, you’re finding it difficult to figure all those out. You don’t know what you want.

You sit again and rub your lower back. The only thing you can name, you can’t have. The pain is your eternal companion. The looks you get when you venture out are just as persistent. You felt those curious, somewhat dejecting, glances today. You don’t care if they think you walk a bit oddly, you just don’t like to be looked at.

You turn your head to gaze longingly at the kettle. It’s the perfect weather for tea and you forgot to get a cup of green at the restaurant. Yet, it’s a very far way to go, then back again to wait for the water to steam.

You relent. You stand up and go to the small counter set into the wall. You flip on the electric kettle and lean on the chipped laminate. The toddler’s footsteps rumble like thunder overhead and the shadows once more stir behind you.

You turn to face the apartment, hands curled around the counter’s edge. The steady drip of the eaves form a tempo as the rain spatters harder against the window, rattling it in the wooden frame. The doors quiver too as the tempest blows into the alley.

You used to like rainstorms, before they made you hurt so much. Before they seemed so dark. You used to like a lot of things before you were broken. Those days seem very far behind you. Sometimes, you wonder if they ever were.

#bucky barnes #dark!bucky barnes #dark bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #fic #dark fic #the lonely souls club #falcon and the winter soldier #captain america #avengers #mcu #marvel #dark!fic #winter soldier #series

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chrollohearttags · 7 months

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cherry i’m not tryna increase ur workload but all the characters in the reverb universe so full of life 😭 idk i’d like to see like a small time stamp drabble series of a day in the life of them whether its ur ocs or the others KDKAKSK

bae omg not at all!!! 😭😭 I appreciate u sm. You know I love any excuse to write for those fools shkshs 🫶🏾 I REALLY love this idea too!

EJ: he starts his day depending on how his night before went! If he had a good session and turned in fairly early, then he’s up around 7AM. He showers, does his whole morning routine (shaving, doing his hair, the works. He’s in their for a hour). He’ll go for a run or workout..shower AGAIN. Then he gets breakfast (courtesy of his housekeeping or his sweetheart (y/n) and then he’s off to the studio. That’s around 12PM or so. He has his home ones but also one downtown so he’ll meet with people there. He tries to knock out at least a project a day. Whether that’s someone else’s works or his own music. He sometimes has meetings with AMG, appearances on shows, interviews, etc and gigs per his lovely manager. He’ll head out around 6 or 7, get back home and he’ll have dinner with (y/n). They’ll go out if it’s their date night or just stay in. Honestly, that’s the highlight of his day! Being cuddled and laid up with his girl.

Jean: Mr. Kirschtein loves his rest so he starts his day around 9PM. Mika is an early bird so she’s out of the house long before that. He gets his morning routine out of the way before heading into the office. Whilst he’s working on his new album, he’s taking sort of a backseat approach so he helps out with auditions, organizing album layouts, writing music and just overall mentoring new artists. He gets there around 10:30 or so and heads out around 3. It’s then that he heads to his home studio to practice with his band because they still have tour dates coming up. They go at it for a few hours, fine tuning their setlist for an upcoming show. He gets in an hour long workout (bc we all know he has to look his best on that stage while he’s up there being a s-l-u-t). He usually finishes up his day around 10 or 11 and then it’s time for bed.

Armin: well after he’s crawled out of the pile of women and liquor bottles from the night before, he does get down to business. He does a lot of producing, DJ’ing and club promoting so he gets the privilege of starting his day a lil later. He’ll head to one of the ritzy lounges downtown for brunch and often times with one of his pieces of arm candy by his side. While he’s enjoying mimosas and egg Benedict, his assistant is getting his schedule together. His interviews, his gigs for that evening and any other ventures. (not to mention canceling his fifty million dates he’s promised!) Armin is out at allll hours of the night so if he’s DJ’ing/promoting, he may arrive around 11PM and be there until 3 or 4 in the morning. Drinking and turning up the whole time.

(Y/N): My girl staaays booked and busy! Up around 6AM for a workout and morning routine. Comes back from the gym or in home one around 8AM to do her hair and makeup. Often times, her and Eren are meeting one another and they’ll have breakfast together before heading out. Sis does a lot of influencing (obv) work so she’ll film content for a few hours for TikTok and Insta. Reviews on clothes, makeup, hair, etc. depending on what was sent for the week. Mikasa will normally tell her what her gigs are for the week and helps her stay on schedule. Around 1 or 2PM, she’s meeting up with her girls for pole practice. They’ll usually do a live showing their routines and put together their sets for a show. If they have a concert they’re doing, they’ll get to the venue around 6 or 7 to run through their choreography and then once the concert is over, they head out for the night and sis goes right home to relax with a warm bath and her big teddy bear of a husband.

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wannabanghwang · 1 year

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Summary : You and Hyunjin run into each other at a party for the first time in awhile and end up hooking up on the car ride to your house ;)

Word count : 1.4K

Warnings : drunk sex, protected sex, blowjob, semi public sex? Idk it’s a car 🙃

Sometimes after performances they would collapse into sleep the moment they stepped foot inside the dorm. Other times, they would do anything to keep the post-concert high alive. Tonight was one of those nights. After closing out their show, the backstage is buzzing with excitement, power and pride. They’d succeeded in selling out a huge arena, the cheers of thousands of people still echoing freshly in their ears. Any discussion is brief, rushed, all the members scrambling to grab their bags and head to the black vans parked out back. Once on the road they could start to unpack the last few hours. Teasing about voice cracks or messy footwork, pure awe for the sea of people screaming, excitement for the night that is only just beginning. They’re on their way to an after party at a club that’s been booked off entirely, save for its exclusive guest list. Once they arrive, the drinks start to flow and the partying begins. You live for nights like this, nights so full of energy and life. You jump and dance excitedly, the music ringing in your ears, colorful lights strobing across the room, your skin flushed from the alcohol and the heat of everyone’s bodies. The party is teeming with youth and carefreeness, and you live for every second of it. You spot Hyunjin across the room, grinning when you lock eyes. He makes his way over to you, almost spilling his drink in the process.

“Hey you.” You smile, poking his bare chest through the unbuttoned white dress shirt he’s wearing. He grins flirtatiously, leaning down to speak in your ear over the music.

“It’s been awhile, you miss me?” He asks.

“Not long enough.” You tease, grabbing hold of his wrist and leading him to the bar. You take a couple shots together before Hyunjin drags you onto the dance floor. You love how extroverted he gets when he’s drunk, when he finally lets loose and has fun. You laugh and sing as you dance, bodies pressed flush together while his hands travel freely up and down your waist, over your back, onto your hips, anywhere they can reach. You take it all in, your back flush to his chest, hips pressed together as they move in sync, lost in the music, lights, shouts and the sea of bodies. You spin to look at him, his face agonizingly close to yours, a wide smile paints his features. Even in the neon lights you can see the flush dusting his cheeks. You wrap an arm around his neck, pulling him down enough for your lips to meet. You tangle your fingers in his damp red hair, deepening the kiss. He tastes of mint and alcohol, a twinge of fruit on his tongue as it spills into your mouth. The kiss is hot and needy, a drunken mess of lips and tongue. His hand finds the back of your neck, the other snaking around the curve of your waist. He pulls away to kiss your neck and whisper in your ear.

“There’s a car for me out back, wanna go to yours?” He smiles against your neck, sending shivers down your spine. You wordlessly reach for his hand as he leads you, weaving through the crowd and out the back door. He opens the door and you both slide into the backseat of a black limo. You give the driver your address before Hyunjin pushes the button to raise the divider between the back and front seats. The car starts to drive and you’re already all over each other, kissing and groping at every inch of exposed skin. His hands creep up the exposed skin of your thighs, bunching the skirt of your dress up at your hips. His fingers dip between your legs, making you gasp against his neck.

“Wow, this wet already? You must’ve really missed me.” He grins coyly, dragging his fingers over the soft fabric of your panties. You blush at the unexpected comment before dragging your hand down and squeezing the bulge between his legs.

“Wow, this hard already? You must’ve really missed me.” You tease back, but instead of getting flustered, Hyunjin replies,

“Yeah I am. You gonna do something about it?” He smirks, raising an eyebrow. You smile, kissing him sweetly before dropping to your knees between his legs. He smiles back, as you hurriedly fumble with the buttons on his jeans, gathering your hair into a makeshift ponytail with his hand. You unzip his pants, hooking your fingers into the waistband of his boxers and tugging them down. With one hand on your hair, he uses his free hand to cup your face and put himself in your mouth. It’s a sickeningly sweet gesture for such a dirty circumstance. You take him as far as he goes into your throat, spit dripping from your mouth down his length. Your hand strokes him lazily at the base. A series of strangled groans and curses spill from his lips as his head falls back against the leather seat. The car hits a small bump, the movement causing him to harshly hit the back of your throat, making you gag. He hisses out an apology before bursting into a fit of drunken giggles. You can’t help but laugh yourself at the circumstance.

“C’mere.” Hyunjin mumbles when he stops laughing, relinquishing his hold on your hair and pulling you into his lap. You kiss more, rolling your hips lightly against his thigh before pulling away.

“Condom?” You ask and he nods, pointing to his bag on the floor. You lean, reaching for the zipper and pulling out the small foil packet. Hyunjin puts it between his teeth, tearing it open and spitting the wrapper somewhere on the floor of the car. You sit back slightly on his thighs, watching as he rolls the condom down his length. You grab hold of the base, ready to lower yourself onto him before he grabs hold of your hip and stops you.

“Gotta make you cum first. It’s gonna hurt otherwise.” He says, raising his eyebrows in reference to the other times you two have hooked up.

“It’s fine, I’ll be fine, I promise.” You assure, desperate to feel him inside you.

“But-“ he starts but you cut him off,

“I don’t think I have ever been hornier than this in my life, I’ll be okay.” You grin, enjoying the blush that creeps up his ears.

“Okay.” He smiles, leaning back, hips falling forward. “Let me know if it hurts.”

You lift your hips just enough to grab the base of his length and align it with your core. You sink down slowly, wincing a little bit as you get used to him.

“Told you.” He interjects, eyebrows raised knowingly.

“Shut up.” You reply, bottoming out as he grunts.

“You can shut me up like this any day.” He grins, twirling a lock of your hair. You kiss his neck, grinding your hips slowly before you start to move. Hyunjin purrs, fingers digging into the skin of your hips, his lips hot against your jaw. You don’t complain when one of his hands grazes over your thigh, landing between your legs, his long fingers rubbing trained circles over your clit. You whine, arching your back and pressing your chests closer together. Your fingers grab a harsh hold of his long hair, kissing him messily while he bucks his hips into yours. His big palm finds your lower belly, pressing down just enough to feel the outline of his cock inside of you.

“You’re so deep.” You mumble, knowing how much it turns him on.

“You feel so good. Missed you.” He slurs, pressing kisses against your shoulder.

You notice his breathing start to speed up and his thrusts growing sloppier beneath you.

“Touch me again.” You breathe, grabbing hold of his wrist and bringing it back between your legs. Hyunjin eagerly complies, his other arm snaking around your waist to hold your bodies flush together.

“‘M gonna cum,” He grunts into your ear, “lemme eat you out when we get inside.”

“Okay, deal.” You smile, quickening your pace, meeting every thrust of your hips as he unwinds beneath you.

“Fuck.” He groans, his hand stays fixed on your waist as his hips still. When both your breathing subsides, Hyunjin throws his head back against the leather seat.

“Just wait,” he breathes shakily, “till we get inside.” He grins mischievously.

#hwang hyunjin #hwang hyunjin smut #hyunjin #hyunjin smut #skz smut #stray kids #stray kids hyunjin #stray kids smut #skz

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veliseraptor · 3 months

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February Reading Recap

Monsters: A Fan's Dilemma by Claire Dederer. I didn't find a whole lot new in this book, as far as thinking through questions of how to deal with art made by people who have done things or hold opinions that one finds morally reprehensible, but it was a well-written and thoughtful probing of the subject nonetheless. I really appreciated the fact that Dederer was comfortable (or, if not comfortable then at least accepting) of coming to a place with no easy answers. rea

Stars of Chaos: vol. 1 by Priest. I'm not sucked into this one yet, but I am intrigued by it enough that I'm going to keep reading. I haven't hooked into the main relationship, and it hasn't had the same level of delightful banter (at least, as yet) that I have enjoyed in other Priest novels I've read, but I do have volume 2 sitting on my shelf and I'm looking forward to reading it.

System Collapse by Martha Wells. I find that I've liked the early Murderbot books a lot more than the later ones, and this one unfortunately continued that trend. I don't think the series has overstayed its welcome for me yet - I'll probably continue to read it, at least for now - but I find myself losing interest.

Three Parts Dead by Max Gladstone. I said I was going to reread it and I did! And it didn't blow me away in quite the same way I remember it doing when I read it the first time around several years ago, but I still really enjoyed it, and I enjoyed it enough this time around (and was still compelled enough by the worldbuilding, which I do remember being a big part of what stood out to me), that I plan to reread the rest of the series as well. But while, again, it didn't blow me away the way I remember, I would say that I generally recommend it, particularly as a fantasy that is doing some things different.

Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (Manhua): vol. 5 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu. I am only and specifically reading the volumes of the manhua that have Yi City in it, so I'm pretty much exclusively assessing this based on my Yi City feelings. And while overall I feel like the art style isn't working for me in a way that is impacting my ability to really get into it there was at least one panel that really conveyed something and made me Feel Things, so it gets credit for that. I am enjoying the experience of doing Yi City in a whole new format, though, that's enjoyable for the sheer "getting to do Yi City, again, but in a different medium this time" reason.

We Are Satellites by Sarah Pinker. I read this book for a book club I'm in and I found it rather too didactic and the ending a little too pat. The family dynamics were strongly written and I sort of feel like Pinker could've written a stronger book that was just about a family without the part about New and Suspect Technology. I wouldn't even say that I necessarily disagree with the points I think she's making in this book, but I would say that it went a little too hard and a little too obviously on making those points.

Too Like the Lightning by Ada Palmer. I liked this one and particularly as of the last...idk, five pages or so, I'm so on board for what comes next. I am promised that it gets even weirder and given that it was already fairly weird...I'm fascinated by the worldbuilding here, and the conceit of the Enlightenment-style contrasted with the future setting is a fun one. I'm looking forward to more.

Ring by Koji Suzuki. I was neither scared by this book (though perhaps I was ruined by knowing the whole thing more or less beat for beat) and did not particularly enjoy the experience of reading it, and then the part where Sadako was revealed to be...genderweird? somehow? unclear to me what the author was going for exactly, sort of tanked it for me. I probably will not be reading the rest of the series unless I get truly desperate for horror to read.

Ashes of the Sun by Django Wexler. I don't know that I'd say this was the highest quality fantasy I've read recently but it might be the new-to-me one I've liked the best in a while. It was a lot of fun, very fast-moving, and I was intrigued enough by the entire set-up that I pretty much immediately put the second book on hold at the library after finishing this one. Maybe it's just been too long since I read a new-to-me fantasy book that really grabbed me, but I liked this one rather a lot and even if it was maybe more "fun" than "good" I'm still calling that enough to give this one a loose recommendation.

#reading recaps #sometimes i read things

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franklespine · 5 months

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Was university always so antisocial or is this only a post COVID thing? Or just a me thing? Because when I graduated high school in 2022 all the teachers and my parents hyped it up so much. University is where you'll meet the people that really get you, where you make your friends for life!! Have you been to uni recently? Because I have made zero friends my entire first year. And it's not like I haven't tried, like I hate small talk and I hate putting myself out there or whatever, but I still did it - and it got the single WORST reception I have received in my entire life like lmao??!! What happened to hello? What happened to I am also a first year trying to make friends so I'll play nice and return your energy????

One time I sat down on a table (we have weird round tables at my uni so you end up in like sectioned groups) and like said hi and introduced myself and NONE OF THE FIVE PEOPLE SITTING THERE RESPONDED???? One time I just tried to discuss the practice question in a (different) table group and got completely ignored?? For doing what the teacher actively told us to do?? Another time I was like okay I'll sit at a table that has some people but not a lot of people and sat down at one with two people and then a minute later a MASSIVE group of like seven others came over and were like HHEEYYYY THE WHOLE GANGS HERE FOR CLASS 😁😁😁 and I just wanted to sink into the floor and die like of course it would be just my luck those two people were waiting on their massive friend group to arrive and of course they ignored me the whole time even when I tried to help in the practice question. Another time a MIRACLE happened and I saw these two girls playing a video game which I really love in class and I was like omg great shared interest -WRONG they didn't want shit to do with me??? If I can't even get along with people who I have a common interest with what hope do I possibly have?? Like this is sit-com level of bad?? I feel like such a wet rag its comedic. Whatever. But it's not like I'm a huge social person so I'm not like heartbroken I just like.... didn't think I was that unsociable. It's like every time I speak I hear the incorrect buzzer blare and I can see my likability meter dropping. I don't need like brothers in arms or anything I would just like someone in my class who I can talk to and ask content questions about and make the uni grind more bearable.

But it's also like idk I feel like uni post-COVID is like... no one wants to stay longer than they have to and barely anyone actually shows up to all the classes cause they just watch it online. So it's like the people you see one day are completely different from the people you see next seminar?? People really just don't give a shit about wanting to talk to new people. Like I would think that everyone would be in the same boat as new first year but it seems like everyone has friends from school?? But my school was really small and is literally shut down now so there's no one from my school in the whole uni, let alone in my course??

Anyway so I'm not like super hung up about it I just feel like I should be better at making friends... or at least acquaintances than this. I just feel like I've tried every trick in the book. I've found something to compliment someone on to start a convo, found someone with a common interest, tried and failed to join a club, bare bones small talk, asked a content question and helped other people with the content and nothing sticks??? Every day I go into uni just knowing it's going to be an extended sequence of choosing the wrong dialogue options and watching people make that face to their friends when they're talking to me.

Anyway.

Here's to a better uni year for 2024.

#rant #hashtag sam the freak wherever he goes core #sorry probs TMI lmao

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allgoldenelite · 1 year

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idk if this makes any sense, but.

so recently, i've seen the following interpretation floating around: whenever kenny talks about don being family in his promo and stuff, and whenever he makes it clear that BCC crossed a line now because they hurt somebody who can never reasonably consent to what the elite is used to, he is in reality not talking about don at all, or at least, the work is commenting on kenny lying or using don as a sort of mental scapegoat for the people he actually cares about [insert names here, in this case from most people i have seen it being hangman], because this is juxtaposed with kenny accepting the screwdriver from matt (who says "for hangman?").

and it made me think.

because a) there's precedent for this: especially as a heel (right now i'd say the elite are in the process of being faces again), kenny has a tendency to avoid (especially the names of) people close to him, or transpose the pain or caring he associates with those people onto something else (championships, matches, other responsibilities). everyone remembers "AJ styles, prince devitt, and who?" but there are a couple of other examples. notably, as the collector, he put so much emphasis on him and don; it was always "me and don, we are family", "don this, don that", instead of mentioning or talking what was really going on (his tensions with the bucks). later this would even spill onto other characters (saying that him and the good brothers make a really good trio/team, which is just explicit enough to pass as commentary on kenny's avoidance of the bucks at that point).

and b) i feel almost like if this were another medium, like a theater play or a book, there could very reasonably be a twist that don isn't real. that his existence is a product of kenny's psyche as he tries to avoid confronting reality (sort of like some apparitions in silent hill). that by focusing so much on don, it's easier for kenny to blend out the things that would cause him to otherwise shatter into a million pieces. he always styled himself as an "unstoppable android", and a machine needs a version of reality parsed through its OS that allows it to march on in spite of how frightening the actual happenings behind the veneer of said OS are. in a way, it could be said that don is kenny's OS rn. don is still his own person who does things kenny wouldn't do or doesn't do things he would do, but it would imo fit with kenny's arcs that often thematically feature isolation and self-hatred, to "invent" a companion who has totally always been your bestest buddy since you were 6 years old and played the invisible strings to help you be where you are now.

don entered the stage as a true character in the elite's story around the jericho feud back in new japan, but it wasn't until the collector that he was heavily cemented by kenny as an important existence, someone whom he had secretly plotted with "for years" in order to orchestrate his belt-hunting run (among other things), and by then he began interacting with other characters in way that deviated from our then current understanding of kenny's morals and ideas, despite how close the two claimed to be. i've written before about how to me, the collector is a paradoxical being and the final manifestation of all the ugly and dark parts inside kenny that he couldn't exorcise, "much, much worse" than the cleaner could ever be. think if the cleaner is a juvenile street thug, the collector is the boss in his penthouse making a fortune off of people's suffering.

but, it's important to remember that kenny isn't fundamentally evil. he has gone on record in character to state that it was his own fear of confronting his darker feelings about ibushi that pushed him towards joining bullet club and turning into the "pitch-black devil" he became. heartbreak makes a villain, etc. it's not that boilerplate simple, humans are complicated beings even (especially) in wrestling, and that is also true for kenny's story in AEW, which started to take a turn for the worse as soon as he started tagging with hangman. the collector is paradoxical because he both wants to and doesn't want to exist, because he thinks the things he's doing are necessary and cruel at the same time, because he desires what he fears and fears what he desires (finding true fulfillment in tagging, hangman becoming champion, corrupting the bucks, the list goes on). it would make sense to me if such a being required a mental shield to focus on and withstand the pressure of the two sides of the paradox constantly pulling at your psyche, threatening to destroy it. as it fits within his own machinations, don is the perfect candidate for that.

now, this isn't to say i think kenny is going to turn heel again because there is an increased emphasis on him and don "being family" again. it's just a piece of the text that i find interesting to analyze. even if kenny doesn't turn, in order to inflict upon BCC the brutality that they inflict on people you care about, you have to go to some pretty dark places. and every time kenny does go to such places, the past has shown that he pushes others away so that his true feelings—kindness, compassion, an arrogance that's more a beautiful sibling of pride than an ugly child of hurt—do not get in the way. it just depends on how he emerges on the other side once said brutality is inflicted.

either way, i have to imagine that under normal circumstances, when/if (?) the thing happens that finally tips the bucket over and causes kenny to shake off all that hair dye from 6 years ago and see don for the fucked up manipulator of himself and his friends that he is, it's going to deal a pretty heavy blow to him. it's not too dissimilar to an abusive relationship: from the outside it's so easy to see and go "oh this guy is a grade a asshole, they need to dump him already", but when you're in it, it's everything but easy.

i say normal circumstances because i have a feeling that the way this is actually going to be resolved in the work is going to involve some kind of hook that if not fully, at least partially avoids such shattering of the mind. that could be a number of things: the "betrayal" (really that's been going on for years, but see above) being so brutal and surprising that kenny's mind snaps right from heartbroken into justified, or the situation involving a bright light that makes it much easier to bear. i'll leave it up to you to decide who or what that's gonna be.

thanks for coming to my ted talk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#/joesays #/text #/long #im sorry this is what it's like to be severely mentally ill and a wrestling fan #this is unrefined af just take it #kenny omega #don callis #rasslin #somehow we're all wanda #big love to mikey for helping me brainstorm this

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magicshopaholic · 2 years

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hey, do you read fic at all? i was wondering if you had any recs, i feel like i don't see you interact with fic a lot on here! i love your stories, so wondered what are your favorite authors too :]

Hello! The short answer to this is yes, but it comes with the caveat that I haven’t read much lately, primarily because I have no time but also because now that my characters are getting more and more fleshed out with every fic, reading other fanfic feels like my members are cheating on their OCs 😕 (I read this really good Namjoon fic where he met the reader at a party, and spent a whole week imagining Namjoon cheating on Kaya with that Y/N and it kind of killed me)

Having said that, I still do read fics when I can, definitely those that don’t interfere in my head with my OCs. I’m joining collabs and book clubs as much as I can so that I read more; but in the meantime I’d love to recommend some of my favourite fics and authors to you and any other readers:

(Please read the warnings on each fic before proceeding)

1. Poetry of the Stars by @jjiimin: This is the best fic I have read my entire life (barring one legendary series in the HP fandom - iykyk) and I honestly have nothing else to say about it. Riley has unfortunately deactivated her Tumblr account but I’m so glad I got to tell her how incredible her story was before she did so, so this is my number one. It’s 25K+ words iirc and was one of the first fics I read in the fandom and I just read it all in one go because I couldn’t stop.

(Also a favourite is Irresistible by the same author but I unfortunately don’t have a link to it)

2. @sahmfanficbts: There’s no fic mentioned here because I recommend Sam’s entire masterlist. She’s one of my all time favourite authors in the fandom and I have read and will read every single BTS fic she ever posts. Every fic is so immersive and every character is so deeply developed that they just stay with me and I find myself thinking about them at random times. Just beautiful, fantastic writing.

3. The Rich Man’s Crochet Club series by @kpopfanfictrash: Funny, quippy dialogue is my absolute favourite thing and this series has some of the best combination of humour and heart. Shanna’s works are pretty popular so you may have already checked this one out but I’m gonna recommend it anyway. (I remember coming on anon to gush about it because I was shy af, but I absolutely loved it, Shanna :))

4. Four Seven Eight by @jiminrings: This is the one I’ve read most recently and I’ve had it in my drafts since then so that I don’t forget to write a review because it deserves a great one. So here’s my apology to Hannah for taking so long to do it 🤓 but this is an amazing series, full of angst and hope and has my recommendation for sure.

5. For The Crown by @chimknj: I don’t read mxm fics, particularly mxm smut, but there was no way on earth I was going to pass on this one. Gina and I share an obsession with A Song of Ice and Fire (and I mean OBSESSION - we talk about it 24x7) and the premise of this fic was so compelling and so exciting to discuss that the only thing better than that was actually reading it. The way Gina has written this - I was transported to Westeros instantly. Everything is subtle and nuanced and I found myself connecting with every single character (also Kingsguard!Namjoon was not something I knew I needed). Idk if she’s planning on writing future parts but if she is… fuck, I’m so excited I can’t even talk about it.

6. A Silent Heart Still Beats by @akinnie75: This is another fic I have in my drafts because its review deserves my entire attention. It deals with some difficult topics but is so sad yet hopeful. The OC is such a beautiful character inside and out and this doesn’t usually happen to me with fics, but she actually changed my life and taught me how to rise above, be compassionate and forgive. I won’t give away anymore but this is just a gorgeous, gorgeous fic.

7. Just Practice by @lamourche: I can’t BELIEVE I’ve finally found this fic again!!! I read it once and then lost it (now I realise it’s because the author has seemingly removed their masterlist) but I’d commented on it from my main blog. It is one of my favourite fics of all time: it reads like a college indie movie or like a Sally Rooney novel. I was crying at the end but I couldn’t even put my finger on what it was which just meant that it was the entire vibe of the story rather than a specific scene. It breaks my heart that I’ll never get to read this again but the author has all my appreciation and gratitude for writing it.

These are some recs off the top of my head that have stayed with me and I’ll probably add to this if I think of more. A huge thank you to all these authors for their wonderful work - and thanks to you too, anon, for the question. It felt great to go back to old fics and give a shout out to such talented writers <3

#and thank you for liking my fics too 😌#notes🍷#jjiimin #kpopfanfictrash #sahmfanficbts #chimknj #akinnie75 #jiminrings #lamourche #fic recs

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unclassedguy · 2 months

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The Details of Genderbend Naoya Au:

*yap incoming*

Just a collection of my thought process and ramblings about this collection of drawings to scratch the itch in my brain.

General ramblings:

This is not a fleshed out au. There isn't much of a storyline and I don't exactly know if I will ever make one.

The au doesn't follow the jjk canon apart from some general things like Toji leaving Megumi and Tsumiki etc.

The ‘story’ follows Naoya Zenin after an accident that should have killed him instead leaves him unscathed. That is, until he wakes up the next day with a girl's body, a kogane companion, and the ability to see strange creatures (cursed spirits) and people who should have been long dead.

Bro is basically now part of a culling game-esque event involving people who were saved from death like him, those who died long ago and were resurrected, and creatures that should have never entered the living realm. Some people such as him with bad karma for their actions, are given certain handicaps and/or punishments when they're brought back from death. Hence girl-Naoya.

But, by destroying the souls of beings with even more bad karma than you, you can gain points that will give you access to abilities (cursed techniques) or lessen your own punishment or handicap.

The Kogane function the same here as they do in canon.

Basically, this is me drawing fem Naoya with a bunch of extra steps 💀

Drawing one:

A lot of the ‘story’ of this au just happened randomly as I was doodling, Kenjaku and Takaba running Naoya over being part of that.

I wanted to draw Naoya reacting to him becoming a girl for the shits and giggle, yk, the sillies

And before I knew it I had Naoya getting run over by a truck 💀

The reason Takaba is the driver is because of that one scene in Kenjaku vs Takaba, Kenjaku is in the passenger's seat just because.

There is no reason as to what they're singing besides me wanting them to have been distracted by something goofy

You might have noticed Naoya is holding something. Idk what it is though

Its like….a wand…a club…? It's based off his first form as a cursed spirit, the one where he looks like a worm

Yes, his shirt does indeed say “why women deserve less”. It's based on that one fanart of him reading a book with the same title.

Drawing two:

The first thing I thought of when I imagined Naoya going on a ‘quest’ to become a man again was that ant carrying a bindle.

(It gives pathetic energy, which i enjoy giving my Naoya drawings)

This is actually my first time drawing Hana, I actually like drawing her

I'm so sorry to people who like Nobara and Maki, I can't draw them that well 😭😭😭

I'm thinking Hana/Angel are trying to fix whatever is going on with the souls of the deceased/players, and are thus gathering allies (though they also want to defeat a certain king of curses even in this au as well 👀)

Naoya ends up joining her, Maki, and Nobara as allies (no one is happy about this)

They will put him in his place, especially Maki.

(I wonder what would happen if he met Yuki…)

Naoya and Hana is a combination I didn't think I'd ever draw interacting tbh 💀

But for some reason that's what ended up happening

Other thoughts:

It's so cute how the kogane have different designs sometimes based on who they belong to. It reminds me of the crows in kny.

I wonder if they're meant to represent something about each player???

For example, the one we see with Naoya when we're first introduced to his curse form has a skull like face, which we later see on Naoya's second curse form.

His looks so crusty and I love it

I rlly wanted it to be his companion in this au

Honestly, I was thinking Naoya upon turning into a girl would try everything he could to make himself look more traditionally masculine

But I still wanted to draw him in a skirt, you know, because

So…uh…yeah 👍

His ass doesn't even want to be a woman, but let's be fr, he be styling his hair in the mirror or some shit thinking things like ‘if only every woman paid half as much attention to how she holds herself as me!’ Thinking he's giving everyone a good example or something 💀

Stfu Naoya

I have a third addition to this collection of drawings in the works. It'll probably be up in a few days, depending on if I have time to work on it or not. This will probably be the last piece of this au for a while.

Part 1 , Part 2 Edit: Part 3

#naoya zenin #naoya #jjk naoya #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk au #genderbend

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anonil88 · 10 months

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My next shirt/project design is for a fictional queer club/lesbian bathhouse.

My question is what should the logo be? (Dm or reply suggestions)

And when I say bathhouse I mean like how gay men have bath houses, aka gym community pool and cruising center galore. But with the intended focus on lesbians and other queer people (bipoc would be to the front but all are welcome vibes).

My inspirations are; Queer clubs and party nights throughout the world primarily u.s. in the 80s thru 00s like Gauntlet II the club (@ileaveclawmarks has some ads on their page) and MEAT I'll insert images, thermes in ancient Greece and Rome, currently existing saunas like Steamworks which there are a couple of and now closed bathhouses like Man's Country in Chicago which had sets inside.

I'm trying not to go full brand and identity board and just making a logo/tshirt design. Fun fact this all started cause I was looking at match books and fell down a rabbit hole.

You don't have to read the rest to answer, I'm just going to free write about my design/research process a bit.

Many of the gay saunas have artwork by Tom of Finland, REX, or similar art style. G.B.Jones makes similar work for lesbians but I'm not trying to use anyone's art cause that's weird to do and copyright.

I could however draw something but idk still feels too...obvious. I do like the abruptness of events like Garlands or Clt Club but i do want to make something people could have worn and get an "Oh 😏" rather than a 😒. Many of these new places still operate with some discretion or at least act like they're just a gym with day passes that happens to have a glo hole in the bathroom. This is where I was looking at other venues and events that were lgbtq owned but cheeky. For example a bird logo for a bar named White Swallow (San Francisco closed in 80s). Kind of seems like even some of the more openly "its artsy rabbit season in here" had a secondary logo that was simple or just their name for similar reasons.

All I've got right now is a rough simple flip flop, inspired because of this original tile they found at an ancient thermae site in Libya [image link]. The other thing I've drawn is a flower out that kinda looks like a sticker seal or those boob light fixtures. Thought about a toilet drawing cause lavs short for lavender and lavatory. Oh the name is Lady Lavs.

Anywho curious what others think.

Inspo images below:

Here's some article links, it would take some time to link everyone i've been lookibg at:

Mother and Jackie 60/Meat/Cl't Club - a nice breakdown

Remembering Cl't Club

Man's Country closing article and images -they just closed in 2017

Manchester 90s photos

Mineshaft NYC - Back2Stonewall

#design #graphic #graphic design #help #design help #lgbtqia #lgbtq #design process #logo design #queer artwork #queer nightlife #queer artist #lesbian #gay #bi #trans #queer #fathermommas

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book-buni · 2 months

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heyy what are your thoughts on the romance genre? do you like all of it, some of it? do you hate it?

personally i feel like i havent read enough romance books to draw a clear conclusion on my taste in romance, but i really loved "if you could see the sun" and "a pho love story"

on the other hand, i tried to read "book lovers" bc it was trending, but i dnfed after 4 chapters because i disliked it. i also found out there was smut, which is.... personally not something i enjoy. at all.

i also tried to read "the hating game" because my friend kept recommending it but i HATED IT SO MUCH and dnfed it aswell 😭 .

idk if this is weird, and i could be wrong, but i think i like romances where the main character/s are asian... 😭 idk maybe its cus im asian, so it just makes me sm more attached to the characters and i find that i root for those characters getting together more? (after all, the romance genre's enjoyability does depend on how much you like the characters right?)

idk idk

also ur ask message is rlly cool

honestly I don’t hate romance, especially since the fantasy trilogy I just finished is basically centered on it. it really depends on how the author handled everything for me to be honest. like for school book club I had to read “The Do-Over” by Lynn Painter recently and I didn’t like it. the book wasn’t the worst, but it was really predictable with the fact the brooding guy had a tragic backstory and the the girl’s looks weren’t really that noticeable. it really reminded me of a wattpad author who wrote a short story purely to make fun of those tropes. I think a romance book I read a month or so ago is one I might actually re-read, “I Loved You in Another Life” by David Arnold since even though the characters might’ve had a “tragic backstory” it actually delved into how the main characters felt and how it affected their mentality, actions, and how it all affected their lives. maybe I also really liked it because of being able to relate like what you said, since one of the characters had a sister, and how she felt about her sister was something I could definitely imagine myself feeling (made it vague just in case you want to read it one day). but there’s a fantasy trilogy that I was technically supposed to read before the one I mentioned, and right now, I feel like the author just wrote something similar but with different characters (I’ll mention the titles when I post what books I’ve read in march). like the same thing typed but in a different font. and speaking of fantasy trilogies, I also really liked “A Darker Shade of Magic” series because even though it did have romances, there was so much importance placed in non-romantic ones as well. the fantasy trilogy I’m reading right now does have importance in a sibling relationship, but I still can’t love the series since it feels the exact same as the other trilogy taking place in the same world. I also agree about avoiding the smutty ones since I feel like reading fanfics that had that stuff at an age where my mind was not prepared to handle it lowkey traumatised me in a way. I’m okay if the scenes are really vague about what’s happening, but I hate it when they go in detail so I’ve tried avoiding those types of books (with the exception of Normal People by Sally Rooney but the way she wrote it was just different in a way that I could handle). I’m also gonna read a fantasy-romance book soon whose main character is Korean (and a gumiho), so maybe I’ll really like it since it’ll have mentions of the culture I grew up in (technically still growing up in right now). and if you have asian romance book recommendations please spam my inbox or messages with it :DDDD

also I have no idea what timezone you’re in so when you read this I hope you have/had a good day! and even if it’s a bad day, that you have the hope the next day will be better :))))

also thanks for saying my ask message is really cool - it’s because I read “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” and the term “wallflower” stuck with me since it resonated with me.

#book blog #book recommendations #books #bookblr #hapi_buni #asks #I love ranting #about books #with someone #the perks of being a wallflower #maybe it’s just me #but i feel like #lots of #people on tumblr #are #wallflowers

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konoa-t · 8 months

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GranEssex Live Konoa Reaction (part 1)

Henlo I am deciding to do a live reading of @kachikirby ‘s series GranEssex Chronicles

I’m gonna try and go through the entire series, starting with the first book, “Wings of Beginning”

This is my first full-on live blogging(?) post, so idk if theres any way I should be doing it but f*ck it we ball

Anyway there’s a lot of text so behind a cut it goes!

(SPOILER WARNING cuz i’ll also be talking about what goes down in the book to give context for my ramblings)

Chapter 1

Note: Gonna try to use punctuation for now but this will probably disintegrate as time goes on (me hate punctuation on tumblr blog ooga booga). Also this live blog is pretty summary-heavy, but I’ll try to tone that down in future posts.

I’ve technically read up until chapter 4, but I’m gonna go ahead and backtrack to look over the previous chapters again and give my reaction on those :D it would feel weird to just start it halfway through anyway. The chapter opens up with Kurabe (if u don’t know who that is you should probably go check out Kachi’s account) going on a mission to eliminate a criminal group only to see that everyone’s just been absolutely bodied by some blue toddler with a stick. Kurabe’s like, “hey I need to take u in for questioning” and the kid is like “nuh uh” and tries clubbing her to death, but obviously Kurabe is stronger so she just blocks him. Even though I was only, like, two sentences in, my attention was already grabbed; I was very excited to see what happened next :D Anyway, Kurabe gets one of her swords knocked out of her hand by the kid, and she’s just like “ah.” But then she teleports behind him and chops him in the back of the head with her hand, causing the kid to faint. I was kinda surprised that she just knocked him out like that, but I guess it makes sense because she had a job to do lmao. Anyway she gets back to her ship and Mercury is there and, upon seeing the child, is just like “HUH”. Kurabe says that he’s fine and only has minor injuries, so she goes to her room to patch him up a little. She wondered why someone would leave their kid on a planet with so much criminal activity, and I honestly agreed because I was just as confused 💀 who leaves a whole toddler on the planetary equivalent of Detroit??? Insane, bro. So anyway she cleans him up and after he wakes up, Kurabe says good morning to him and the kid just immediately goes

Anyway, Kurabe tells him to calm down and asks his name, to which the child responds, “Meta.” It was pretty much implied from the start that this was Meta Knight, but I was still like “OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ITS HIM” Anyway cue Meta being suspicious of Kurabe and Kurabe trying her best to calm him down. I’m watching this whole interaction go down and honestly wondering if Meta’s just gonna straight up maul Kurabe, but thankfully he doesn’t. Kurabe’s maternal urges start taking over and she offers to raise Meta- err, I meannn… train him (because I can’t imagine it would be good to send him back to space Detroit 💀) and Meta asks if he can stay on her ship forever. Kurabe is like “yeah sure” and then after talking, she helps show him around his new room and then they sit down and have a meal together. The image of Meta playing with the spaghetti was really cute :D Meta makes mention of Kurabe’s sword and Kurabe tells him that she’d train him. However, she did warn him that he training was so intense that students have quit or even DIED because of it (which is…. Scary /not neg). He agrees to the training. Meta then got kinda tired so he went to go to sleep, and as Kurabe was tucking him in, he grabs onto her and they end up falling asleep together :DD Overall this was a very cute chapter and it does a great job of grabbing the attention.

#I was gonna do more chapters but i think i’m gonna start off slow for this post #Next post I’ll probably try to do chapters 2 3 and 4 #GranEssex Stuff #Live Konoa Reaction

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jacksprostate · 5 months

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do you think fight club (film) is better than fight club (book)? i think overall the film has a better grasp of the plot than the book and the ending feels a little better in terms of conveying marla and narrator's relationship but there are definitely bits of the book that couldn't be translated to film that feel so vital to me (raymond hessel scene, mechanic in the car, narrator meeting tyler) but idk

Nah I like the movie a whole lot, I think it's a great adaptation, but wholly and unilaterally I think the book is better and more successful overall.

There are aspects to the story in the movie that are cut for time and I think it shows, leaving weak spots. Again, still an absolutely fantastic movie and I do think it is still incredibly strong on its own, it's just that the book has much more time and capability to entrench itself. Which is the nature of books. Sometimes stories greatly benefit from being visual with much more extra detail added through set and background things, but in the case of fight club those things mostly serve to enhance what is already there, which is the story that is taken from the book. I think also, the large edits to the beginning of the story cut away parts that really add to the overall story. For example in the book you can see a lot of Tyler's philosophy be born before he is introduced in the story, and the fact that the narrator said he's going to be Tyler's apostle and is, well, narrating introduces an interesting consideration of it for the rest of the story that I think is unfortunate to miss. Due to the nature of the movie Tyler is more separate from the narrator's thoughts and I think that lacks a bit. It also adds a little goofiness because things you can slide by in text become more obviously a little bullshit with regards to them being the same person. Yadda yadda yadda.

Oh yeah I also vastly prefer the book ending as I feel it makes more sense for the story overall. Tyler's murder suicide, the pointless destruction of people and history, the psychiatric ward and God, Marla visiting, the monkeys waiting. The only part I do find a little goofy is the support group rallied up with Marla following her up there but it's goofy in a way I kind of fuck with.

#asks

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stormblessed95 · 2 years

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I'm beginning to think that Jungkook isn't running that In the Seom account anymore. At first I was like aw he's having fun, and woah he accepted a jikook shipper- that's sus, etc. I was just happy that he tried out the gamr. But now I'm wondering if maybe he was asked to post that account on his story by the company as a marketing strategy? Because it's definitely working like one. More people tried out the game, more people are sticking with the game because they feel like they're interacting and competing with JK. Idk but as more time goes on I can't help but feel that maybe this whole account is just run by some Hybe employee? I just severely doubt he's that bored + has that much time on his hands to keep leveling up every few hours. I know they're technically on break but he's still not jobless lol. Maybe I'm overthinking it? I've only seen one other person bring this up so I'm curious to see what other people think.

🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 I - why would he lie?! That's his Instagram! Lol and all these ways he wants to 1) play games and 2) interact in a special way with ARMY is soooo on brand for him. Those are 2 of his favorite ways to spend his free time. Lol and let's remember that they have more control over what their schedule is looking like these days and how much free time they might have. On top of that, JK has always had a weird and not so great sleep schedule. Meaning he doesn't get enough of it. Lol

He LOVES gaming and has shared on multiple occasions how he spends his free time gaming and how he can do it for hours and how he can get really competitive about it and not want to stop until he beats it or is insanely good at it. He used to post clips of him playing overwatch. They've shared that he used to game often at the dorms with Tae or with Jin. Tae shared a story once from an old clip where you could hear him playing League with JK, Yoongi, Jin and Hobi (those being the members who spoke into the mic at least). Staying up all night to play a game, not off brand for him. Especially also considering all the armys who are busy IRL and have full time jobs who are over level 100 in the game too. PLUS considering that JK has lots of disposable income to spare to get extra hearts, blue diamonds things and anything extra he can buy to help him level up faster and spend less time waiting for things to load etc. That's gonna speed up his game time too. Examples of JK talking about gaming:

AND I don't think having army visit his island or join a club is just a marketing strategy. It's just legit JK loving spending time with ARMY. It's super on brand for him to carve out time to spend with fans. He spent hours doing Instagram Q&As in the middle of the night, not just during quarantine, but also after a performance when they still had schedules the next day too. He spent HOURS in the middle of the night on vlives with army and singing to us, on days he has to wake up for work the next day too. He spent HOURS talking until the middle of the night, just to then go and hop on a bus to go film ITS. He used to join fancafe group chats with ARMYS. In 2018 he held weekly fancafe dates with army every single Friday for a long time. Where he would create a group chat and the first X amount of people who could guess what the password was could join his GC and he would sit in there and chat with the armys for 15 to 30 minutes every single week. And in 2018 they were so booked snd busy it was insane. But he still made time to hang out with army AND still made time to work on GCFs and his own music AND go work out AND some off time gaming. And whatever else he wanted. And he did this fancafe date thing without telling the company his plans to do it at all. Lmao it was all him. Some Fancafe posts about his Friday ARMY dates:

You don't have to be jobless to spend a few hours playing a mobile game before you go to bed, or while you are eating your meals, or while being driven somewhere. He really honestly isn't leveling up that fast compared to a lot of other people I've seen to make it seem like he isn't doing ANYTHING but gaming. Lol

So I guess, I DO think it's JK. I don't see any reason why it wouldn't be. And I don't think it's out of character at all for him to be doing this either. And I don't think Hybe has to worry too much about marketing it. The game was doing just fine before JK shared anything on his story about his island and his club. But you are all free to think whatever you want 😅 this is my opinion though 🤷🏻‍♀️💜

#JK in the seom #jikook #kookmin #jikook in the seom #JK gaming #and loving army fans

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kirklandsheartsecrets · 1 year

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HCs for the brothers and dating their people?

uk brothers II headcanons II dating their people

northern Ireland

be ready to watch all of love island episodes im tellin' ya

dating someone from his people means you understand the tv reality context out there

talking shit about the people in it

looking for fun at their instagram and also talking shit about their account

mocking the way they talk or the character the production choose to give them

"do you think he really goes to the gym?"

"his ass does not come from eating out dear"

"why she got them big ass lips for ? For what purpose ?"

"sucking out a dolphin or something idk"

talking about how those kind of tv shows are really bad

still on the couch right on time to watch them

spread out on the couch like the most disgraceful creatures

wales

wants to know what's the best restaurants around

looks for deals and special social media guides

try something new every day

yeah yeah those cool concept restaurants, usually cheap but actually really good

hope your stomach is ready this man eats

gatekeeps the best spots with you and if tourists or too many people find out

which ends up in long queues then its not worth anymore

"overrated"

salty as hell about it, you guys have no chill

"man it was better before"

"the price has gone up huh ? they know they are popular so its not good anymore"

you two are stinky gatekeepers

secret spots secret spots secret spots for the best views

england

southbank book market in london

hmmmm i feel like he would take his s/o there if they are from his country

he is not cliché book worm no

but likes to find cool stuff

thrifting works with him

thrifiting in london is cool UNTIL-

he is like wales, if something becomes too popular and crowded he goes

"overrated"

and since his s/o and him are used to certain spots, if the price goes up just like the amount of people at specific time then no

thrifiting and south bank book market

you guys go at night

permament

+under waterloo bridge, so quick to get here

scotland

if his s/o is from scotland

he has someone to go watch football games then

man goes to every game he can

who's your favorite player?

he probably has all the football merch possible

extras

and by this i mean supporters

if the scottish players are assigned in others clubs in europe

you guys are going to their club games

doesnt matter if this is the Juventus or FC Bayern Munchen

youre going together to watch them

of course shit on the other players or countries about their bad football club choices

you guys are trained to get the best spots to watch the games

not in the world cup ?

haha it doesnt matter books a flight to see England lose and support wales

Ireland

this weirdo wants to see the last ends of every train station in ireland

might take a year but

means a lot of time to talk with his s/o and actually show cool places they might not know of

i am not joking

taking a bus until the last stop to take it again on the other side

lots of naps

lots of discoveries

you can say now "i went through every bus/trains in ireland"

delays and cancels don't scare you anymore

this is strange i know but the hidden gems are worth

only irish people know their way through the transportation in ireland obv

do you talk a bit shit about the some cities ?

hmm yes. who wouldn't ? dublin overrated.

#uk brothers #hws ireland #aph ireland #aph wales #hws wales #hws scotland #aph scotland #hws northern ireland #aph northern ireland #aph england #hws england #hetalia headcanons #hetalia x reader #hetalia

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pebblysand · 1 year

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Hi Pebbly! I just spend my last two days reading Castles in its entirety, and I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed it (if you define enjoy in the most liberal sense that includes feeling immense sadness and crying 5 times while also liking the little sprinkles of hope and humour throughout). My favourite parts were actually the politics, and I feel like the way you write Kingsley does not get enough credit at all. Actually the way you write all the politics deserves a lot more credit 1/2

two days? omg anon are you okay? 😆

jokes aside, thank you so so much for your kind words, this means the world - truly. i love it that people are still discovering this fic, it brings me so much joy! i'll answer your question on politics first, then address the "sex" under the cut to be safe.

how do you think the muggle English government justified the loan to the Ministry of Magic?

oh, i like your headcanon. i think in my head it was more, like, MI5/MI6 funding. the kind of funding where no one can really ask questions because #nationalsecurity, you know? also, probably "miscellaneous" expenses. there's a scene in peaky blinders where tommy talks to arthur about all the "olives" they're buying (where the olives are actually posing for the cocaine expenses for the club in the books), and i kind of think there's a lot of that as well. like: oh, the ministry of foreign affairs bought for £50,000 pounds of olives this quarter, you know? lots of canapés for cocktail parties lol.

[under the cut for your other question]

As a bi woman, the scene in chapter 16 where Ginny describes WLW lovemaking for Harry's sexual gratification felt a bit uncomfortable. It was not that big a deal, and did not take away from my overall readership experience. In general, I could understand that they are a straight couple in the 90s, but since you encourage discussion with your readership I thought I would bring it up. Still loved the chapter!

okay so first, thank you so, so much for saying this and for raising your concern, i truly appreciate it.

full disclosure, it is something that i thought about before publishing, actually. this scene sort of wrote itself (as in, it wasn't planned, i was just writing and it came up) and when i was going through it again when editing, i was like "ugh, idk," you know? like, not outright negative about it, but a bit icky. so, i (think i) get what you mean.

despite this, i landed on keeping it in for a bunch of reasons. i acknowledge the fact that these reasons may be "problematic" or imperfect, but here they are, regardless:

first, what you said: they're a straight couple and ✨it was the 90s✨. but, also people just have... fantasies. i think we need to acknowledge the fact that this (be it WLW or threesomes) is a pretty common one, not only amongst straight men. is this the result of the media often portraying WLW as a gimmick or a hot "phase" and sexualising a genuine sexual orientation for the enjoyment of the masses? sure, that's highly likely (😅).

but unfortunately, we don't all exist in a vacuum and the media does influence us, whether we like it or not. for all intents and purposes, harry grew up "muggle" so he would have been subjected to this in his broader environment. also, when you consider that ron literally has a book about "failsafe ways to charm witches," (so patronising and patriarchal - UGH), i would hazard that the wizarding world isn't that much more evolved, when it comes to these things.

i think we just live in an imperfect society where certain traits, sexual orientations, etc. are sexualised by the wider public. this feeds into our own fantasies which we generally believe are of our own making, but actually, more often than not, are very much influenced by the outside world. asking if those are "genuine" fantasies rather than just stuff we fantasise about because of the media, is pretty much the equivalent of asking if the choices that women make are ever genuine, because we're clearly all influenced by patriarchal structures in some respect. it's a headfuck and i think we just all need to accept that none of us exists in a vacuum, and we just do our best with the cards we've been dealt. so, does harry fantasise about this because society at large is generally exploitative towards WLW sex and that his brain sort of latched onto that because of that wider reality? probably. it's unfortunate, but it doesn't make that fantasy any less common, you know?

and, the thing is: fantasies can be imperfect. that's why they are just that - fantasies. there's a scene in one of the earlier chapters where ginny's like: "i'd have liked to do it under the cloak in a public place" (something along those lines) - and when you think about it, that's mildly problematic too if you consider, well, the innocent people around lol. and, given the whole range of problematic shit that people fantasise about, this is, well, not the worst, let's say. i don't think harry getting hard at the thought of ginny with another girl makes him a bad person. i just think it makes him - well, as you said, a bloke in the 90s, you know? he doesn't judge her for having tried it, doesn't think it's "gross" or whatever. he just gets pretty turned on by the thought of it and on an individual level, i think that's sort of okay.

this being said, i do appreciate the point (although re-reading this, i realise you didn't actually make that point, so perhaps this is just me talking to myself lol, in which case i apologise) of a wider, more systemic bi/WLW exploitation for male gratification. that is a very real problem in our society (unfortunately), as is bi erasure. so yes, that was a point that i made to myself when i was editing, which sort of fed into the aforementioned "icky" feeling. i think what made me ultimately decide to keep the scene in, here, is that no one is being exploited and no one's consent is being undermined. ginny is using a personal experience, sure, but that experience was genuine. i don't think she went into that experience thinking: "oh, this will be a good story to tell harry," you know? i think she was genuinely curious, wanting to try something out.

(as a side note, i've always sort of pictured ginny as "curious" in terms of her sexual orientation. i don't think she'd necessarily label herself as bi or queer or whatever, but i do think she'd be the type to think that no one is ever entirely one thing, that sexuality is a spectrum and that she falls somewhere on that spectrum. but i digress).

so, anyway, i don't think that WLW experience, for her, happened for the purpose of the male gaze. i think she was just genuinely into it in the moment. i kind of like that she got to question her sexuality a little bit as well, and although she decided she didn't want that again (which is totally fair), i think it was a good question for her to ask herself. i don't think the WLW experience itself was "for" harry's sake at all.

i also think that clearly, she modifies a lot of details (creative license, am i right?) so that in the end, what she tells harry is more of a story she made up on the basis of her own feelings, rather than about anyone else involved. it's also her own decision - harry doesn't really ask her to tell the "story" for the purposes of his own sexual gratification, she does it of her own accord because she wants to. so at the end of the day, this is just a girl playing with her boyfriend's fantasies in bed, which i don't think is fundamentally corrupt or exploitative. people may choose to dress up in a schoolgirl uniform to surprise their partner if they have a teacher/pupil fantasy, and while that is in itself a bit icky, it's also a safe way to explore that, you know?

so, is there a wider exploitation of the WLW theme in the media? sure. is it icky? sure. but then, i feel like we fall back onto my first point of: many fantasies are icky and no one is perfect and when you think about this one in particular, this is probably the best, least-exploitative way for harry to explore it. he's not watching hardcore, exploitative, WLW porn on pornhub, you know?

i also think that one of the factors i considered is that: straight men aren't my target audience, lol. i mean, maybe some straight men are reading castles (i hope they are, you never know) but... let's be real for a second, lol. so, i think, if my goal had been for this fic to turn men on with WLW sex, that would have been a different decision. here, i'm not trying to turn men on (i'm not even trying to turn women on, tbh), i'm just trying to show a couple exploring a fantasy together. so, while this cannot "excuse" everything, i do think it matters a little bit.

lastly, i ... like the scene. not for the WLW sex, but for what it shows of harry and ginny at that point in time. they're young. they're turning each other on. they're getting more comfortable around each other and being a bit vulnerable. harry's slightly embarrassed, which i think is a good thing for him. that scene goes to plot (it's sex, but it's also sex that doesn't involve actual sex, which becomes relevant later, as you know) and to character development. it would have been very difficult for me to achieve that with another scene. and, again, i feel like all fantasies i could have gone for have a degree of "problematic" built into them, because of the society we live in. the only one which truly wouldn't have been, would have been ginny talking about masturbating to the thought of harry in a closed environment which frankly i've already done a bunch of times (including one other time in this chapter). and, even then - did he ever consent to being masturbated about? as soon as you start talking fantasies, bring the wider world into the mix, shit is bound to happen, you know?

obviously, my goal isn't to make anyone feel uncomfortable/exploited. since you said it was not a big deal and didn't alter your overall experience reading the fic, i think i'm still leaning towards keeping this in, for the reasons exposed above. i think the goal of castles is also to show that life isn't perfect, and that people aren't perfect. i think this is... perfectly imperfect, you know?

but anyway, thank you so so much for reading, and taking the time to give me this feedback. i know this can sometimes be taxing. i hope you understand my reasoning and that this doesn't feel like i'm dismissing your concerns. trust me i'm not (again, i had very similar ones). it's just narrative choices being made.

#castles #asked and answered

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