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still obsessed with the fact that he looked at the thing on the ground and his body still decided to step into it. look at him. he looks like a muppets character i’m losing my mind
guys it's REALLY looking like I'm gonna be able to adopt this baby for real..... I just picked up a TON of free supplies for him today & sent my parents a passive aggressive email about it lol.
here's another 2 pics of him btw. if you even care (<- I know you care, you're legally required to care)
[ID: two photos of Phineas, a small brown dog with long fur. in the first image, he's laying on its back next to someone's legs while they sit down, his legs spread out in the air. in the second image, he's on top of the person's legs. he's also looking up with a strange surprised expression on his face, his eyes visibly buggy. in both images his tongue is sticking out, and he's being gently scratched on his chest. End ID]
my friend told me that her boyfriend got her a super cool rock while they were on vacation together and you would not BELIEVE my disappointment when i realized she was talking about her engagement ring
Simon Riley rough sex this. Simon Riley hard kink that. What about silly sex with Simon, huh? What about fun, carefree sex? What about goofy, awkward, ‘Ouch, you're on my hair’ / ‘Oh shit, sorry, love’ sex with Simon? Huh??? Ever think about that?
Simon who trips and falls after getting his feet caught in his trousers. Simon who fumbles his words as he tries to dirty talk, because you just feel so damn good he can't think straight. Simon whose sweat drips and stings your eyes as he holds himself above you. Simon who attempts to keep a straight face after one of you makes a fart noise, but then he breaks, which makes you break, and then you're both just dissolving into a fit of laughter. Simon who accidentally elbows you in the head as you're changing positions. Simon who misses your lips as he tries to kiss you in the dark, catching the tip of your nose instead. Simon whose voice cracks super loudly in the middle of a moan. Simon who forgot to lock the cat out of the room, and now she's jumping on the bed with you. Simon who has to pause and take five minutes after he gets a bad cramp in his leg. Simon who grins and chuckles to himself as he cums, biting his lip as he's overwhelmed by a feeling of bliss.
And finally, neither Simon nor you really worried about finishing, because at the end of the day all you care about is having fun together.
I love the “Mumbo’s some kind of supernatural creature” headcanons, and I love the “Mumbo’s just a guy” headcanons, but may I propose: “everyone thinks Mumbo is some sort of creature thing but he’s actually just a bit strange”
“His eyes are so red they basically glow!” My guy inhales enough redstone to power a small machine on the daily.
“He’s nocturnal! He’s always up at night!” Insomnia.
“It’s like he teleports! He just appears behind people” he’s just naturally very quiet and people don’t hear him walking up.
“He knows so many random facts, there has to have been around for ages to learn all that” he’s just a nerd.
Mumbo gets nervous anytime someone tries to interrogate him, making the hermits even more suspicious, but in actuality he’s just worried they’ll be disappointed and he’s starting to realise they probably won’t believe him no matter what answer he gives.
There’s a server-wide bet going for who can figure out what he actually is. Grian, who’s known him for years and knows full well that’s he’s 100% mortal and human, shows up and starts egging the hermits on by “dropping hints” as to what he may be, much to Mumbo’s dismay. Grian thinks the bet is utterly hilarious.