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a-queer-seminarian · 3 months

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Hi there. I'm wondering how you deal with reading parts of the Bible that talk about the Israelites coming to the promised land, defeating the people there etc, in light of... well, I'm sure you get where I'm coming from! I'm scared to look up commentary on it because I fear it will either be from a Zionist perspective, or dismissive of the "old testament" in that antisemitic way a lot of Christians can be. Every time my daily devotions include a Psalm with a line praising God for granting Israel victory in battle or anything like that it makes me so uncomfortable it's hard to pray...

Hey there, anon. Thank you for your courage in wrestling with these questions. I'm going to try to answer this well, but I may mess up, so I welcome correction or expansion, especially from Jewish folks — any antisemitism here is not my intent and I will fix it if pointed out; my sincere gratitude who anyone who chooses to share their time and energy correcting me.

I also have some books that grapple with these issues on my reading list (more on that at the end of this post), so stay tuned for more posts about these issues in the coming weeks once I've read them.

I see several interlocking components to your conflict, anon:

The presence of violence within scripture, carried out by its protagonists, often with express instruction or at least no condemnation from God.

Uncertainty regarding the relationship between the biblical Israel and the modern state of Israel.

The convergence of the first two components, allowing the use of biblical passages that speak of God giving the "promised land" to Israel to justify the modern Israel's occupation of that land.

Let's start with the first component apart from modern issues.

Wrestling with violence in scripture

When we come across violent or otherwise complicated parts of scripture, we should be disturbed. If scripture is inspired by God, does that mean anything a biblical text seems to condone is also condoned by God — up to and including genocide??

No. Even those of us who hold that scripture is inspired can acknowledge that it was written by human authors, living in specific historical and cultural contexts.

(If you've been raised with something closer to a "biblical inerrancy / literal Word of God" mindset about the Bible, it's okay to feel rattled by realizing there are other ways to read the Bible! You might find my webpage about a framework for reading scripture that acknowledges its human authors helpful for easing into such a discussion.)

In her book Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the Bible Again, Rachel Held Evans has a whole chapter on wrestling with the Bible's war stories, taking their historical and cultural contexts into account and seeking places where God's inspiration breathes through the human accounts.

I can't recommend this book highly enough. I posted a loooong excerpt from this chapter over here, because I find it so important and helpful for unpacking these "texts of terror," as Phyllis Trible called them. That post is my top suggested reading as you wrestle with questions of violence in scripture, but I'll also add a little more here.

One important bit of context regards when many of the Hebrew texts were written: during or soon after exile in Babylon. Here's an incredibly over-simplified timeline:

In the 700s BCE, the Assyrian Empire destroyed the northern kingdom of Israel. That left its sister kingdom, Judah, rattled and grieving, with a lot of existential questions about why God "allowed" such a thing.

Then in the 500s BCE, the Babylonian Empire sweeps into Judah and obliterates the temple in Jerusalem, deports Judah's leaders into exile, and leaves the people even more traumatized, with more questions about where God is in their suffering and why God "let" such horrors happen to them.

As they're asking these questions, they're looking back at their history, looking both for places where God's presence and support are evident, and places things went wrong.

They consider their exodus from Egypt, and their eventual arrival in Canaan — and they re-imagine that arrival as much more violent than historical and archeological evidence suggest it was: instead of a gradual integration with the peoples already living in Canaan, they write about mighty battles where they wipe the previous people out completely.

Even if such violence didn't historically happen, it's still disturbing to read. Why did these authors want to re-imagine their people as having committed ethnic cleansing and even genocide?

Holy Resilisence: The Bible's Traumatic Origins by David Carr explores how trauma impacts these choices in greater detail than I can here, but part of what he suggests is that in depicting themselves as powerful and capable of enacting the kind of violence that was being enacted on them by empires like Assyria and Babylon, they felt a bit more stable in their current situation.

Trauma and grasping for a sense of control in a situation completely out of their control is also why a lot of the biblical authors, particularly prophets, write about God "sending" those empires to "punish" Israel and then Judah for "going astray" of God's instructions. If these empires are attacking and desolating them simply because they're Big and they Can, the people are helpless to do much about it. But if it's because the people lost God's protection, then they can regain that protection if they start acting faithfully again. There's a sense of control there!

There are also parts of scripture where a writer imagines doing some mega violent stuff to their enemies — the book of Nahum being one such place; Psalm 137 is another. When we read about the psalmist imagining dashing the heads of their enemies' infants on rocks, we must remember that this is the daydream of an extremely traumatized person imagining something they don't actually have any power to carry out. We're allowed to bring all our messy emotions to God, even violent fantasies. We don't have to tidy them up first. Imagining it isn't the same as acting it out. An oppressed person thinking about such violence isn't the same as their oppressor actually doing the violence.

Again, this is all vastly oversimplified; David Carr explains in much more detail, drawing more historical context and trauma theory to do so.

Edit: A fantastic and easy-to-read article on reading the "conquest of Canaan" and how it connects to modern-day Israel by Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg can be found here!

So that's some info on grappling with violence in the Bible in general. But what about...

Disconnecting biblical Israel from the modern ethno-state

When the name Israel comes up in the Bible, it's reasonable that our brains immediately connect it to the other Israel we know of — the modern settler colonialist state currently occupying Palestine. This connection has been made intentionally by Israeli supporters, both Christian and Jewish.

But it is vital that we disconnect the biblical Israel with that modern state.

I'm extremely grateful for Jewitches' post that explains the distinctions, and the harm that comes from conflating the Israels, in detail. I urge you to read through their whole post (you'll see it's in infographic form, but scroll down and there's an image description of it all); but here's some main points:

First thing to know is that even within scripture, the word Israel can refer to several things: the person Israel, i.e. Jacob; Am Israel, the people group descended from that person — before, during, and after the biblical kingdom of Israel existed; Israel the kingdom; and Eretz Israel, the physical land discussed in the biblical texts.

None of these are Medinat Israel, the modern political state of Israel.

For centuries, all Jews have continued to identify themselves as Am Israel, the people of Israel, even in diaspora.

To conflate Am Israel and Medinat Israel is to erase that diasporic history, to erase the Jewishness of Jews living outside that political state. That denigration and erasure of diaspora Jews is an intentional goal of Medinat Israel, so that diaspora Jews will feel like they need to come to Israel.

Finally, to conflate Medinat Israel with the biblical people or kingdom of Israel does great harm as well.

The harm in conflating biblical Israel and modern Israel

It's not a mistake that people do conflate these things; there's a long history among both Zionist Jews and Zionist Christians in intentionally using passages from scripture to justify modern Israel's occupation of Palestine and violence against Palestinians. We must resist this!

Again, I'm indebted to Jewitches' post detailing these issues; again, I urge you to read their whole post, but will sum up some main points:

Once we conflate biblical and modern Israel, Zionist Christians are able to use verses like Genesis 12:3, “Blessed is everyone who blesses you, O Israel, and cursed is everyone who curses you," to justify support of the state of Israel. Anyone who questions modern Israel is warned that they are supposedly going against God and incurring divine wrath.

But Christian Zionists don't actually give a damn about Jews; they're using them as pawns in their own theological and political agendas. They can support modern Israel in one breath and pass antisemitic legislation or preach antisemitic shit with the next.

Moreover, "Conflating all Jews with Israel allows people (Jewish and non-Jewish) to attempt to revoke Jews of their Jewish identity when their politics do not “fall in line”."

My recommendation for starting to learn more about the history of the Jewish Zionist movement, started in 1800s Europe, is this article by JVP.

My recommendation for Christians who want to learn more about the harms of Christian Zionism is this other post by Jewitches as well as the Christian site christianzionism.org.

Summing Up / Further Reading

So to sum all this up:

When you encounter stories about Israel or mentions of Israel in the Bible, remember these things:

Am Israel, "the people/nation of Israel," is not to be conflated with Medinat Israel, the modern ethnostate. Am Israel in the present day = all Jews! Not just Israelis. Don't let Medinat Israel erase diaspora Jews, their diverse and vibrant expressions of Judaism, their right to connect with their own scripture and culture.

The biblical people and kingdom of Israel were a small group pressed by more powerful nations on all sides. A lot of the biblical authors bring grief and trauma into their writing about Israel. Remembering this can be helpful when grappling with the Bible's war stories.

While the biblical Israel was constantly besieged and at risk of occupation by others, the modern state Israel is the occupier. Their situations are completely different, so that applying biblical verses to modern Israel is both inaccurate and harmful.

___

There are still more questions to consider. I don't have all the answers; I'm sure I never will, but I'm working on gathering more information. I've had some books in my reading list that I plan to get to in the coming weeks / months; if I find any useful stuff in them, I'll share it on this blog.

If anyone is interested in doing their own reading / research, here are the resources I've gathered — please know that my listing them here is not me vouching for their content. It's possible some of them might turn out to be anywhere from a little problematic to total shit lol. We'll see!

Again pointing to ChristianZionism.org for essays and resources on resisting Christian Zionism.

Palestineportal.org has info on joining with pro-Palestinian Christians and getting active as churches, which is great!

That includes links to various denominations' pro-Palestinian organizations; my own denomination's is the IPMN. Apparently this congregational study guide + video of theirs is good.

Palestine Portal also has several lists of book recs! Here's their recs on Zionism, Christian Zionism, and the Bible. And their liberation theology list. The following books are ones from those lists that I've selected to read.

Faith in the Face of Empire: The Bible through Palestinian Eyes by Mitri Maheb

Justice, and Only Justice: A Palestinian Theology of Liberation by Naim Stifan Ateek

Jesus and the Land by Gary Burge, an ex Christian Zionist. He has a statement about why he's not a Zionist any more here.

Chosen? Reading the BIble amidst the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict by Walter Brueggemann

Israel/Palestine and the Queer International by Sarah Schulman

If anyone has other resources on any of these topics that they recommend, please do share! Thank you.

#christian zionism #reading and studying the bible #bible tag #israel #biblical israel #essays

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angeldrawsstuffs · 1 year

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Discovery (and Jay Screaming)

So I wrote a snippet for the SPBNR Mer AU!

Summary: After being sent to FSM-knows where by the Megaweapon, the team has found shelter and agreed to split up: Kai and Cole looking after Lloyd while Jay, Nya, and Zane try to fix the plumbing of the building they’ve set up camp in. Unfortunately, they find out that sending them to a new place isn’t the only thing the Megaweapon did to them...

Nya was being as careful as she could as she descended down the stairs of the rickety old apartment building with Jay and Zane. The three of them were sent down to try and fix the pipes, the other three’s logic having been how the three of them (Nya, Jay, and Zane) are the tech savvy ones, meanwhile Kai couldn’t open up a phone properly.

Normally she would agree with this sentiment, however, the three of them build mechs and cars and motorbikes, not fix plumbing.

But, nevertheless they were the most qualified, so off they went.

”It’s just like coolant tubes.” she reassures herself, ”This’ll be a piece of cake!”

Well, maybe not cake, since if it were that, Cole would inhale it in a heartbeat.

Whatever metaphor it is, this’ll be simple. Get in, get out, hopefully not be completely soaked because these are the only pair of clothes she has aside from her Samurai X uniform.

Although, the sound emanating from the boiler room did not give high hopes.

“Perhaps we should turn back.” Zane stated, hand hovering over the doorknob, “I sense the sound coming from the room is worrisome, and may bring us trouble.”

“Come on, Zane, it’s just nerves.” Jay jokingly rebuttals.

“But I do not have nerves. I have sensors that mimic the purpose of-”

“Metaphorical sense, Zane.” Nya clarified for the now confused nindroid.

“Oh- I see. Thank you for the clarification, Nya.” Zane smiles at his friend.

“No problem. And anyway, it’s either we do this or we babysit Lloyd so Kai and Cole have to.” A silence befalls the trio.

Jay opens the door.

Inside, the boiler room looks how one would expect an old, abandoned boiler room to look. Rusty, shaking pipes, lines the walls, the boiler itself seemed to hold up well, but was still completely covered in rust. Instead of feeling hot, you know, like a boiler room should feel, it was instead chilly like the rest of the basement.

“Well, there goes our night.” Nya sighs as she walks into the room with her two teammates.

The floor is wet from leaky pipes all around, the ninja and samurai being grateful they changed out of their tabi and into some… borrowed shoes. Having to walk around in wet socks and shoes from all the puddles would just make this already unpleasant experience downright *unbearable*.

Nya watches as Zane attempts to turn on the lights, but finds only a few bulbs to be working, so he instead elects to activate what Jay had previously dubbed “lightbulb mode” after finding out about it during the Darkley’s incident.

“We will need to repair the lights as well.” Zane comments while removing a broken bulb for inspection.

“Thank you, Captain Obvious.” Jay remarks as he pulls out the old pipe wrench he found in the building earlier, “Now, watch the master at work.”

Jay confidently approached a large pipe shaking more than Kai on Venomari venom, and leaking like one of the trible’s teeth too. Nya shuttered at the memory of having to watch her brother yell about “Santa” (whoever that is), elves, and gingerbread men.

Her brother being high aside, Nya looks skeptically at her boyfriend. She knows for a damn good fact he abides by the “do first, ask questions later” philosophy way too often, and that…

Well, it’s probably not a good mentality to have when around pressurized water.

“Jay, are you certain this is a good idea?” Zane nervously asks as he watches his brother bring the wrench down over the pipe.

“Trust me. I know what I’m doing! My parents showed me how to do this stuff when I was a kid!” Jay replied, a smug look on his face.

Nya still didn’t have a good feeling about this.

Something in her gut was screaming at her, it had been since the Megaweapon sent them here… wherever “here” is. It was telling her that something was different, something changed.

But what is it? What changed?

Nya’s thoughts were interrupted by Jay’s strained grunts as one foot is against the wall while the other is keeping his loose footing on the ground.

To say it looked unsafe would be an understatement.

“Jay…” Nya says hesitantly, “Put your leg down.”

“Don’t- worry- Nya!” he replies with a grin clearly trying to impress her, “I- can- do- thIS- AOIUGUYVOFGYTFJHYFYJVG-”

The pipe bursts on Jay, sending water flying everywhere, particularly directly into the unfortunate blue ninja’s face. A sight Nya would find funny had the water not also diverted to her direction as well, completely soaking her from head to toe.

First Master the water must be nasty, since she can already feel horrible, aching rashes forming on her torso and arms. And her neck… it feels like someone slit it on both sides, multiple times.

Needless to say, it ducking hurts.

Ignoring the aches, Nya runs over and helps her boyfriend stop the pipe to where it’s only a small, yet steady leak

“I told you so.” she says sarcastically, narrowing her eyes at Jay.

“Yes Nya, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again-”

She knows he’s just saying it because he’s flustered and this absolutely will happen again. But, hey, it’s the thought, right?

“Are both of you alright?” Zane asks from his place in the small room, clutching his head as he does.

“I’m fine. ‘Can’t speak for Jay though.” Nya replies, quickly turning her attention to wringing out her hair, which doesn’t feel as short as he remembers it being…

But she just got a haircut from Kai a week ago. It shouldn’t be back to her shoulders already.

Her thoughts are, once again, interrupted by Jay, who currently has his mouth agape, almost seeming to do an impression of a feeding fish, opening and closing it, trying to form words, but all that comes out are confused squeaks.

“Jay?” She tries waving a hand over his face.

“Z-Zane-” He stutters out. “Zane? Zane what?”

“WHY THE DUCK DOES ZANE HAVE SCALES-” Jay suddenly shouts, Nya and Zane needing to cover their ears to avoid the piercing banshee screech that is his voice.

Nya’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion until she actually looked over at the nindroid herself

What.

The.

Duck.

Zane’s face-

Holy FSM Jay wasn’t kidding-

The unprecedentedly calm Zane’s face was just… covered in silvery scales from his forehead and reaching down the sides of his face. Even his ears-

Well, his ears looked more like fins, if you could even call them ears anymore.

“What is it? Scales you said? Where?” Zane asked in his usual calm demeanor.

It’s so hard to feel any kind of negative things when Zane’s talking like that, but oh First Master how does this boy not realize-

Jay begins frantically gesturing to his brother’s face, while simultaneously continuing to yell:

“SCALES, LIKE, ACTUAL DUCKING FISH SCALES!”

Zane cocks his head in innocent confusion, “Are you referring to the rash? I wasn’t even aware I could get one, however-“

“NO!” Jay interrupts, newfound freckles seeming lighter than freckles should be, almost white and…

And glowing?

“YOU! HAVE! FISH-“ Jay tries to continue, but is quickly cut off by the sudden presence of familiar golden sparks around the floor of the room.

The sparks of the Megaweapon.

The two ninja and samurai ready themselves for combat, although, for Nya, that feeling in her gut increased tenfold. Something was about to happen. That change she felt… it’s going to make itself known, isn’t it?

It better, because she’s tired of being on edge all the time. Seriously, she trusts her gut, but the feeling was starting to get really annoying after an hour or so, especially since she has no idea where it came from.

Suddenly, those golden sparks start becoming more concentrated, more focused on specific areas. And Nya’s eyes fly wide open when she realizes those areas are them.

Well, ‘guess they’re about to find out-

The three can only watch and stumble back as the golden light trickles its way up their bodies, stopping just around the waist. Nya’s knows the appropriate reaction is absolutely more akin to an extremely toned down version of her boyfriend (which is to say fear with a bit of yelling), but that isn’t what she felt.

No, something about this felt… comforting, it felt…

Right.

Ok, that’s a really weird thing to say in the current situation, but she’s not lying! And she’s not crazy either! That’s really how it feels.

Maybe everything will be fine! Maybe, contrary to what Jay is currently hollering about, things will be fine and-

Nope.

No.

DEFINITELY NOT FINE.

Nya screams out as agonizing pain covers the lower half of her body. Her knees buckles as she slams to the ground, squeezing her eyes shut in white, hot pain, what little of her instincts are left being the only thing saving her from slamming her head into the concrete floor. Her mouth and gums ache, her legs slam themselves together, feeling like pins and needles are poking into her all over.

What came next can only be described as melting, like her lower half was wet clay being molded and stretched by some unseen hand into something different, something new. All feelings of comfort and rightness were gone like a ship to a violent storm, all that remind was terror and agony.

She can hear the other two’s shouts and groans as well.

Seems like she’s not the only one.

But then, just as quickly as it came, it all stops, leaving aching worse than even the most intense training days in its wake.

Suddenly, Nya feels her legs(?) fall onto something thin and slimy, and something that feels almost like a fish’s fin falls on top of her legs(?).

FSM, speaking of- she can barely even feel her legs anymore. The only good news is that the melting feeling and pins and needles have gone away.

After all that, she just feels so tired, so exhausted.

Maybe a little nap… maybe it wouldn’t kill anyo-

“WHAT! THE! DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK-!!” Jay screeches at what has to be the top of his lungs.

Seriously, Nya didn’t think he could reach a higher decibel, but here they are.

Nya slowly pulls herself up, but not without some difficulty as her legs refuse to respond to her.

Are they asleep?

“What is it now, Jay??” Nya asks, a bit more concerned after his last shriek of panic turned out to be something that was actually happening.

“What’s happening? What’s happening?? Oh ho ho- what isn’t happening?? Maybe it’s the weird golden light that LOOKED LIKE THE MEGAWEAPON. Or- Or maybe it’s that burst of pain that STILL HURTS. Or, and hear me out here, MAYBE NONE OF US HAVE DUCKING LEGS ANYMORE!”

Don’t have legs??

What in the great First Master’s name did he me-

Ok, maybe looking was a mistake.

Why was it a mistake?

Because Jay was right he was ducking right.

None of them have legs.

They have tails.

Ducking fish tails. Like from storybooks and movies.

“What in Ninjago-” Is all Nya could whisper out as she ran a hand along the tail in a panic. This has to be some kind of a prank, right? There has to be some kind of a seam line that’ll reveal this whole thing is fake and not at all actually attached to their bodies, right?

Right?

Well, any hopes of that being the case are quickly dashed when a slow hand along her torso reveals a smooth and seamless transition from skin to scales.

The tail itself was brown, although thankfully not a similar shade to her actual skin, with several long fins on the bottom, and one short fin on top.

A look towards the end of her tail (oh FSM that’s a weird sentence) reveals that the slimy things she felt on herself were the ends of Jay and Zane’s… tails.

Jay’s is a deep black with what look almost like white freckles all over, and a long, dark fin running down the middle. Zane’s, on the other hand, looks to be a shining silver, fitting for a nindroid, with three stripes of a darker gray along the sides.

“SEE? I TOLD YOU!” Jay shouted as a burst of static electricity came bolting through Nya’s body.

“Yeah, we get it!” she shouts exasperatedly, still inspecting her weird new appendage, “Zane, how are you holding up?”

She looks up to her friend, who is… surprisingly calm given the circumstances.

His face is one very familiar to the team, eyebrows turned up with just the most clueless look on his face, as if there weren’t a single thought going through his head. But Nya knows him better than that, he’s almost definitely looking things up on the internet.

“I am doing alright.” He responds, pulling his end fin off of Nya’s, carefully inspecting it.

“Zane, buddy-” Jay puts his hands together and takes a deep breath in.

“Yes, Jay? What do you-” “How in the ducking world ARE YOU SO CALM ABOUT THIS?? DID’JA NOT REALIZE THAT WE’RE GOSH-GOLLY-DARN FISH- MRF!”

Jay’s shouts are cut off by Nya maneuvering herself over to him and slamming a hand over his mouth, another jolt of electricity pulsing through her as she does.

“Jay. Cram it.” she whispers urgently, “Do you want someone from the street to hear you and come find us like this??”

She knows the likelihood of that happening is slim, but knowing their luck, it just might happen.

Jay shakes his head.

“Good. Then shut your mouth before we have to explain why we’re fish people!” Nya removes her hand from Jay’s mouth, “Now, we just need to figure out-”

“NYA??”

Nya’s head snaps around to see her brother and Cole in the doorway, their mouths all wide open at the strange sight before them.

“Kai, thank the First Master! We-” she starts, but is cut off by her panicking brother.

“What in Lloyd’s grandpa’s name happened? Where are your legs? What is… that? Am I dreaming? Please say I’m dreaming-” Kai enters the room warily, tabi splashing on the wet floor as he makes his way over to Nya.

“I would be wary of the water, Kai, I believe it may have played a role in whatever has happened to us.” Zane explains as he sets his end fin down.

“Zane? That’s you? You look… different.” Kai remarks.

Zane looking “different” is an undeniable statement, especially given how his typical hairstyle has been lengthened and swept back. It just makes him look so… not-Zane-yet-also-still-Zane. It’s uncanny.

“I am aware, and I would advise you to leave the room for now.” Zane states firmly, yet still gently.

“Uh, my little sister is here with a tail, I’m not leaving her.” Kai retorts as the others watch as all too familiar golden sparks star to take form around him.

“Kai, listen to Zane.” Nya tries to shove her brother away, “He’s never wrong.”

“Well he could be this time! Nya, I’m not about to just leave you behind!”

A golden light starts to envelop the red ninja’s lower half.

“You’re not leaving me behind!” Nya fires back.

“JUST LISTEN TA’ ZANE!” Jay shouts, accent now in full force.

Nya looks behind her brother to Cole for help backing her up.

Cole, making the smart choice, picks up on Nya’s look, looking rather concerned himself.

“Blazey, buddy, I know you care about Nya, but she says she’s fine, so maybe-”

“Not you too, Cole! Seriously guys, why are you all acting like some wet socks are the end of the w-wORLD-”

Much like the other three before him, Kai falls to the ground, writing in pain as a bright, golden light completely covers the lower half of his body.

“K-Kai?? What’s happening??” Lloyd asks nervously, needing to be held back by Cole.

“As I tried to tell Kai earlier, I believe the water has something to do with whatever has happened and I would recommend staying away from it.” Zane explains, eyes solely focused on his pain-stricken brother.

Nya, meanwhile, pulls herself over to where her brother is and pulls him into as big a hug as she can manage. She just felt that pain on her own, so like hell she’ll leave her brother to face the same. In a shockingly short amount of time, the light dissipates and Kai is left in his sister’s arms with an identical tail. A bit unsurprising given that they *are* blood related.

“Nya..?” Kai wearily looks up at his sister, “What- What happened-?”

“Welcome to the fish club.” she responds sarcastically.

“Wha-” Kai turns on his side to look down at his newly formed tail, eyes going wide, “I…I’m hallucinating, right? This isn’t *actually* happening, is it?”

“If I had to go through ALL THAT just for this to not be real, I’M GONNA BITE SOMEONE!” Jay declares, tail thrashing in his anger before his rambles become distant background noise once more as Cole laughs at Jay’s indignance.

“I can help with the biting!” Lloyd proudly grins, showing off his fangs.

“No.” Both Smith siblings say in unison, shuttering at the idea of what could happen if Lloyd is allowed free range to *bite* someone.

“Awwwww, dang it.” Lloyd kicks up some water as he enters the room, sneakers thankfully preventing him from getting wet by the floor, “So, why are you a fish?” “No clue.” Nya replies while helping her still shocked brother up into a seated position, “But Zane’s probably onto something about the water.”

Right. Those weird freckles on Jay and the scales on her and Zane only showed up after the pipe burst, and the same applies to the tails. And after that, Kai’s refusal to take off his tabi, a shoe with a thin base, led to him getting wet by the floor.

“Water. Great, just great. Because water couldn’t get any worse.” Kai groans, slamming a hand against the ground with a splash.

Nya sighs as she looks around the room, surveying how the other three are doing.

Jay is, to absolutely no one’s surprise, still ranting about the situation, impressing Nya with how he hasn’t seemed to need to take a breath for air.

If there’s anything to be impressed by Jay about, it’s his lungs.

And next to him, Cole has picked up Zane into a bridal carry, much to the blushing of the latter.

“You know, Zane,” Nya overhears Cole speaking, “I think there’s a bright side to all this!” “And what might that be?” Zane asks through red cheeks.

“You make a really hot merman.”

Nya softly laughed at the flustered expression the befalls the poor nindroid’s face.

Cole always seems to know how to calm people down in a tough situation, it’s what makes him the team’s rock.

“EWWWWWWWWWWW-” Lloyd blocks his eyes with his hand and turns around, “GROSS!”

Cole smugly looks at the pipsqueak and kisses his boyfriend.

“Oh. Wow. I’m so happy for you two, but could you PLEASE STOP MAKING OUT AND HELP THE REST OF US?!” Jay throws up his arms in protest.

Nya watches as Cole smirks at Jay, shrugs, and just walks away with his boyfriend, causing Jay to yell even more. Honestly, it was understandable at first, but now it’s just gotten annoying…

Suddenly, Nya finds herself being lifted into the air by Lloyd, along with her brother in the kid’s other arm.

It’s easy to forget just how strong he is. Hell, not even a month ago he was practicing balance with the other four guys, plus Sensei Wu on top of him.

“Don’t worry guys, I’ve got you.” The kid reassures, seemingly now over the trauma of having to witness Cole and Zane’s relationship.

“Thanks, Greenie…” Kai groans, probably still aching from his… transformation.

“WHAT ABOUT ME??” Jay cries out as Lloyd carries the siblings out of the room.

Lloyd turns his head back, sticks his tongue out, and walks away to the stairs, where Cole has set down Zane.

Nya feels bad for Jay, this situation is weird and scary as is, Jay doesn’t deserve to be left alone.

“Lloyd, go back and get Jay.” Nya firmly orders.

“But he was yelling and being annoying.” Lloyd folds his arms and looks away from his sister.

“I won’t get you that Starfarer comic.”

“Going-!”

For all the toughness Lloyd acts like he has, the team’s learned how easily he can be bribed with candy and comics, Kai being the biggest offender of such. Something Nya can’t blame her brother for, especially given how happy it makes Lloyd.

Within a minute, Lloyd returns with a squirming Jay, who is sat a few steps below the two Smiths, much to his disappointment.

From there, the team was left to discuss.

This went about as well as one would expect.

At some point Nya ends up checking out of the conversation and focusing on her tail once more.

The initial comfort of the golden light is back again.

Something about this new form… she felt a connection with it, some sort of strange kinship. And really, just soaking in the water in the boiler room felt… good, relaxing even!

She shakes her head.

Now she’s sounding crazy.

But she isn’t crazy.

She sighs.

Now isn’t the time for this, now’s the time for finding out how to get all of their legs back.

“Nya?”

Her head shoots up, realizing the attention is on her now.

“Huh? Yeah?” She asks, looking around at the others.

“Did you hear my proposition?” Zane questions with a glint of concern in his eye.

“Of course I did!” she lies, “But maybe you could say it one more time? Just to let it really sink in.”

Zane sighs, obviously not buying his friend’s story. But, much to Nya’s internal thanks, he mentions nothing of it.

“I said, given that water seems to be inherently tied to what has happened to us, I believe we should find a way to dry off.” he explains.

“And I asked where we’re even going to get towels.” Kai responds frustratedly

“I don’t know, and I don’t care.” Jay butts in, “We can just air dry, or ANYTHING to get this DUCKING THING OFF OF ME!”

“Language around the kid!” Kai pointedly glares at Jay, “But I still agree, get it off.”

And so, Nya finds herself once again being carried by Lloyd, but this time, the feeling of moving away from the water isn’t as pleasant. Maybe it’s just some weird fish thing since fish kinda need the water to live, but still, in hindsight, something about just being there and taking it all in felt so inexplicably… right.

She needs to get to the bottom of this, something inside her won’t be satisfied until she does.

But for now, she needs to focus on the others.

Weird feelings can wait…

Probably.

#mild body horror #nya smith #kai smith #zane julien #jay walker #cole brookstone #lloyd garmadon #mer au #spbnr aus #ninjago #kai ninjago #nya ninjago #zane ninjago #jay ninjago #ninjago au

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punisheddonjuan · 4 months

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Favourite Music 2013-2023

As part of attempting to recover/reconstruct my blog here in the event that my old account is not restored, I'm reposting some old things that I've pieced together from Internet Archive scrapes of my old blog, personal files, and cross-postings elsewhere. A tradition I maintained on that blog over its ten year span was putting out a list of my favourite music releases at the end of every year.

I make it a goal to listen to fifty new releases every year, and I frequently manage over seventy or more, occasionally hitting one hundred. At the end of the year I distill all that listening down into a list of thirty-odd releases that I really enjoyed.

I've never much liked numbered and ranked lists so the lists are unranked and have been from the beginning. They are, however, partitioned into three categories. Two of these categories are self explanatory "Favourite Music" and "Favourite Reissues, Compilations, Soundtracks and Live Albums" while the third "Honourable Mentions" acts as a holding tank for things that I either liked "fine enough alright" or which I was/am still digesting. I have not gone back and edited these lists in any way (except to alphabetize earliest ones), as that would be cheating. I wanted these lists to be a document of a moment in time, a personal record of what I was listening to in any given year. Consequently, the further back you go, the more likely it is my opinions have changed. Some albums and artists that were favourites fell out of my rotation entirely, a few honourable mentions graduated to favourites while others slipped off, but a good half or more stayed right where I placed them. Some lists are longer than others. I was more discriminating in the first few years and left a great many things off.

I'm posting this mostly for myself, but please, take a look if you're looking for something to listen to, there are hundreds of recommendations below, something for everyone. My favourites from 2023 are directly below, and 2013-2022 are below the "read more" in reverse chronological order.

Favourite Music 2023:

Adrian Younge & Ali Shaheed Muhammad — Jazz is Dead 16

Algiers — Shook

Anjumile — The King

Annelies Monseré — Mares

ANOHNI — My Back Was a Bridge for You to Cross

Brighde Chaimbeul — Carry Them With Us

Chris Watson & Philip Jeck — Oxmardyke

Colin Stetson — When We Were That What Wept for the Sea

Danny Brown — Quaranta

The Drin — Today My Friend You Drunk the Venom

The Inward Circles — Before WE Lie Down in Darknesse

Jaimie Brand — Fly or Die Fly or Die Fly or Die ((world war))

Kahil El’Zabar's Ethnic Heritage Ensemble ft. Dwight Trible & David Ornette Cherry — Spirit Gatherer: Tribute to Don Cherry

King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard — The Silver Cord

La Baracande — La Baracande

Lankum — False Lankum

Meatraffle — Base and Superstructure

Oxbow — Love's Holiday

ØXN — CYRM

PJ Harvey — I Inside the Old Year Dying

Protomartyr — Formal Growth in the Desert

Squid — O Monolith

Tim Arnold — Super Connected

Tyvek — Overground

Yossari Baby — Inferiority Complex

Water From Your Eyes — Everyone's Crushed

Honourable Mentions 2023:

Gazelle Twin — Black Dog

Lonnie Holley — Oh Me, Oh My

Matmos — Return to Archive

The Mountain Goats — Jenny from Thebes

Mozart Estate — Pop-Up! Ker-Ching! And the Possibilities of Modern Shopping

The Murder Capital — Gigi's Recovery

Neil Young — Before and After

Peter Gabriel — i/o

The Pigeons — Bird Brain Gang

PIGS PIGS PIGS PIGS PIGS PIGS PIGS — Land of Sleeper

Shame — Food for Worms

Sparks — The Girl is Crying in Her Latte

Stuck — Freak Frequency

Favourite Reissues, Compilations, Soundtracks and Live Albums 2023:

Alkemie — Pentiment (Original Game Soundtrack)

The Beatles — 1962-1966

The Beatles — 1967-1970

Black Country, New Road — Live at Bush Hall

Devo — Art Devo 1973-1977

John Coltrane — Evenings at the Village Gate: John Coltrane with Eric Dolphy

Lingua Ignota — The End: Live at Islington Assembly Hall

Neil Young — Chrome Dreams

Nervous Gender — Music from Hell

The Replacements — Tim (Let It Bleed Edition)

Shizuka (静香) — Heavenly Persona 天界のペルソナ

Sonic Youth — Live in Brooklyn 2011

Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 — These Things Remain Unassigned (Singles, Compilation Tracks, Rarities & Unreleased Recordings)

Various Artists — Happy Land: A Compendium of Alternative Electronic Music from the British Isles 1993-1996

Various Artists — The NID Tapes: Electronic Music from India 1969-1972

Favourite Music 2022:

Alison Cotton — The Portrait You Painted of Me

Bill Orcutt — Music for Four Guitars

Black Country, New Road — Ants from Up There

black midi — Hellfire

Cate le Bon — Pompeii

Decius — Decius Vol. 1

Diamanda Galás — Broken Gargoyles

Extra Life — Secular Works, Vol. 2

Fontaines D.C. — Skinty Fia

Gnod — Hexen Valley

Hercules and Love Affair ft. Anhoni — In Amber

King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard — Ice, Death, Planets, Lungs, Mushrooms and Lava; Omnium Gatherum

Magma — Kãrtëhl

Moundabout — Flowers Rot, Bring Me Stones

One More Grain — Beans on Toast with Pythagoras

Richard Dawson — The Ruby Cord

Sam Slater — I do not wish to be known as a Vandal

Sault — 151; Air; Earth; Today & Tomorrow; UNTITLED(GOD)

SCUDFM — INNIT

Shovel Dance Collective — Water Is The Shovel of the Shore

Special Interest — Endure

Viagra Boys — Cave World

Honourable Mentions 2022:

The Chats — Get Fucked

Lady Neptune — Noz

Omertà — Collection particulière

Suede — Autofiction

Trupa Trupa — B flat A

Weak Signal — War&War

Yard Act — The Overload

Yoo Doo Right — A Murmur, Boundless to the East

Favourite Reissues, Compilations, Soundtracks & Live Albums 2022:

The Beatles — Get Back: the Rooftop Performance; Revolver Super Deluxe Edition

Bog-Shed — The Official Bog-Set

David Bowie — Divine Symmetry

Diamanda Galás — The Divine Punishment

Iannis Xenakis — Electroacoustic Works

Norma Tanega — I’m the Sky: Studio and Demo Recordings, 1964–1971

Oliver Coates — The Stranger

Oxbow & Peter Brötzmann — An Eternal Reminder Of Not Today: Live At Moers

Sonic Youth — In/Out/In

Tomasz Stańko Quintet — Wooden Music I

Valentina Goncharova — Ocean: Symphony for Electric Violin and Other Instruments in 10+ Parts

Favourite Music 2021:

Ärabrot — Norwegian Gothic

black midi — Cavalcade

Richard Dawson & Circle — Henki

Desperate Journalist — Maximum Sorrow!

Dry Cleaning — New Long Leg

Gnod — La Mort Du Sens

Greg Coates — Witch Egg

Hawthonn — Earth Mirror

Hedvig Mollestad Trio — Ding Dong. You're Dead

Iceage — Seek Shelter

King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard — L.W.

Pharoah Sanders & the London Symphony Orchestra — Promises

LoneLady — Former Things

Low — HEY WHAT

Marissa Nadler — The Path of the Clouds

Mirage — Mirage

Nick Cave & Warren Willis — Carnage

Nyx & Gazelle Twin — Deep England

Oliver Leath and Explorer Ensemble — 'Me Hollywood'

Parquet Courts — Sympathy for Life

SAULT — Nine

shame — Drunk Tank Pink

Shortparis — Яблонный сад

Sleaford Mods — Spare Ribs

Snapped Ankles — Forest of Your Problems

Sons of Kemet — Black to the Future

Squid — Bright Green Field

Taqbir — Taqbir (Victory Belongs to Those Who Fight For a Right Cause)

Viagra Boys — Welfare Jazz

William Parker — Mayan Space Station

Favourite Reissues, Compilations, Soundtracks & Live Albums 2021:

Can — Live in Brighton 1975

Can — Live in Stuttgart 1975

Coil — Love's Secret Domain 30th Anniversary Edition

Faust — 1971-1974

Gang of Four — 77-81

John Coltrane — A Love Supreme: Live in Seattle

The KLF — The White Room (The KLF Director's Cut)

Magma — Simples

Suburban Lawns — Suburban Lawns

Van der Graaf Generator — The Charisma Years 1970-1978

Various Artists — Do You Have the Force? (Jon Savage's Alternate History of Electronica 1978-1982)

Various Artists — Cameroon Garage Funk

Willie Dunn — Creation Never Sleeps, Creation Never Dies: the Willie Dunn Anthology

Favourite Music 2020:

Aksak Maboul — Figures

All diese Gewalt — Andere

Baxter Dury — The Night Chancers

Bill Fay — Countless Branches

Bob Dylan — Rough and Rowdy Ways

The Chats — High Risk Behaviour

Cold Meat — Hot and Flustered

Crack Cloud — Pain Olympics

Duma — DuMa

Einstürzende Neubauten — Alles in Allem

The Heliocentrics — Infinity of Now

Hen Ogledd — Free Humans

Hey Colossus — Dances/Curses

Idris Ackamor and the Pyramids — Shaman!

Jeff Parker — Suite for Max Brown

Jennifer Walshe — A Late Anthology of Early Music, Vol. 1: Ancient to Renaissance

King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard — K.G.

Lonnie Holley — National Freedom

Nadine Shah — Kitchen Sink

Oranssi Pazuzu — Mestarin kynsi

Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs — Viscerals

Protomartyr — Ultimate Success Today

Róisín Murphy — Róisín Machine

Sault — Untitled (Black Is); Untitled (Rise)

Shirley Collins — Heart’s Ease

The Sorcerers — In Search of the Lost City of the Monkey God

Wilma Archer — A Western Circular

Young Knives — Barbarians

Honourable Mentions 2020:

Algiers — There Is No Year

Christine and the Queens — La vita nuova

Fontaines D.C. — A Hero’s Death

fra fra — Funeral Songs

Idles — Ultra Mono

Pharoah Overlord — 6

Richard Skelton — These Charms May Be Sung Over a Wound

Sex Swing — Type II

Sparks — A Steady Drip, Drip, Drip

Thundercat — It Is What It Is

Torres — Silver Tongue

Wire — Mind Hive

Favourite Reissues, Compilations, Soundtracks and Live Albums 2020:

Beverly Glenn-Copeland — Transmissions: The Music of Beverly Glenn-Copeland

Black Sabbath — Paranoid Super Deluxe Box Set

Coil — The Gay Man’s Guide to Safer Sex

David Bowie — I’m Only Dancing (The Soul Tour ‘74); Ouvrez Le Chien (Live Dallas '95)

Fela Kuti — Perambulator

The Heshoo Beshoo Group — Armitage Road

The Jimi Hendrix Experience — Live In Maui

Neil Young — Homegrown

Pylon — Pylon Box

The Sun Ra Arkestra — Swirling

Sun Ra — Live Egypt 1971

Theotis Taylor — Brother Theotis Taylor

Uranium Club — Live for the Very First Time (In Italy)

Various Artists — Join The Future: UK Bleep & Bass 1988 - 1991

Various Artists — Interstellar Funk Presents Artificial Dancers: Waves Of Synth

Various Artists — Deutsche Elektronische Musik 4: Experimental German Rock And Electronic Music 1971 – 1983

Favourite Music 2019:

Alexander Tucker — Guild of the Asbestos Weaver

Ana Roxanne — ~~~

Årabrot — Die Nibelungen

BATS — Alter Nature

Beverly Glenn-Copeland — Primal Prayer

black midi — Schlagenheim

Cosey Fanni Tutti — Tutti

Damon Locks/Black Monument Ensemble — Where Future Unfolds

Drenge — Strange Creatures

Fat White Family — Serfs Up!

Holly Herndon — Proto

King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard — Infest the Rats’ Nest

King Midas Sound — Solitude

Lingua Ignota — Caligula

MEATRAFFLE — Bastard Music

The Mekons — Deserted

Michael Kiwanuka — Kiwanuka

Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds — Ghosteen

Priests — The Seduction of Kansas

Purple Mountains — Purple Mountains

Richard Dawson — 2020

shortparis — Так закалялась сталь

Sleaford Mods — Eton Alive

Snapped Ankles — Stunning Luxury

Test Dept. — Disturbance

Vanishing Twin — The Age of Immunology

Honourable Mentions 2019

Angel Olson — All Mirrors

Cate Le Bon — Reward

Caterina Barbieri — Ecstatic Computation

CHAI — PUNK

Earth — Full Upon Her Burning Lips

Jenny Hval — The Practice of Love

Kim Gordon — No Home Record

Leonard Cohen — Thanks for the Dance

The Murder Capital — When I Have Fears

Pharmakon — Devour

Richard Skelton — Border Ballads

Sudan Archives — Athena

Swans — Leaving Meaning

Favourite Reissues, Compilations, Soundtracks and Live Albums 2019:

The Beatles — Abbey Road Super Deluxe Edition

Can — Live Rockpalast 1970

David Bowie — Conversation Piece

The Deontic Miracle; Catherine Christer Hennix — Selections from 100 Models of Hegikan Roku

Hildur Guðnadóttir — Chernobyl (Music From the Original TV Series)

His Name Is Alive — All the Mirrors in the House (Early Recordings 1979 - 1986)

Mort Garson — Mother Earth’s Plantasia

Patrick Cowley — Mechanical Fantasy Box

Various Artists — Nigeria 70: No Wahala: Highlife, Afro-Funk & Juju 1973-1987

Various Artists — Tarantismo: Odyssey of an Italian Ritual

Various Artists — Third Noise Principle: Formative North American Electronica 1975-1984

Various Artists — Further Perspectives & Distortion: An Encyclopedia of British Experimental and Avant‐Garde Music 1976–1984

Favourite Music 2018:

Ärabrot — Who Do You Love

Capitol K — Goatherder

The Caretaker — Everywhere At The End of Time, Stage IV; Everywhere At The End of Time, Stage V

Chris Carter — Chemistry Lessons Volume 1

Daughters — You Won’t Get What You Want

Die Nerven — Fake

Lonnie Holley — MITH

The Ex — 27 Passports

Gazelle Twin — Pastoral

Gnod — Chapel Perilous

Hen Ogledd — Mogic

Hawthonn — Red Goddess (Of This Men Shall Know Nothing)

Julia Holter — Aviary

Hot Snakes — Jericho Sirens

Idris Ackamoor and the Pyramids — An Angel Fell

ILL — We Are Ill

Insecure Men — Insecure Men

Idles — Joy As An Act Of Resistance

KELD — You Are Wolf

Laibach — The Sound of Music

Lonker See — One Eye Sees Red

Low — Double Negative

Mamuthones — Fear on the Corner

Parquet Courts — Wide Awake!

Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs — King of Cowards

Protomartyr — Consolation EP

Pusha T — Daytona

Richard Skelton — Front Variations (I & II)

Rival Consoles — Persona

Simian Mobile Disco — Murmurations

Sons of Kemet — Your Queen Is A Reptile

Szun Waves — New Hymn to Freedom

Tropical Fuck Storm — A Laughing Death in Meatspace

Yves Tumor — Safe In The Hands Of Love

Honourable Mentions 2018:

Amen Dunes — Freedom

Amyl and the Sniffers — Big Attraction & Giddy Up

The Cavemen — Nuke Earth

Death and the Maiden — Wisteria

The Dirty Nil — Master Volume

Here Lies Man — You Will Know Nothing

Hop Along — Bark Your Head Off, Dog

Iceage — Beyondless

The Limiñanas — Shadow People

Lucy Dacus — Historian

The Messthetics — The Messthetics

Mitski — Be The Cowboy

Nine Inch Nails — Bad Witch

Ought — Room Inside the World

Sarah Louise — Deeper Woods

Scourge of Women — To End It All

Thou — Magus

U.S. Girls — In a Poem Unlimited

Tπc9 — Sekundenschlaf

Favourite Reissues, Compilations, Soundtracks and Live Albums 2018:

Art Ensemble of Chicago — Les Stances a Sophie

Austin Wintory — The Banner Saga 3 OST

Colin Stetson — Hereditary OST

Holger Czukay — Cinema

Holger Czukay & David Sylvian — Plight & Premonition/Flux & Mutability

Neil Young — Songs for Judy

Throbbing Gristle — Mission Of Dead Souls

Ursula K. Le Guin & Todd Barton — Music and Poetry of the Kesh

Various Artists — Uneven Paths: Deviant Pop from Europe 1980-1991

Various Artists — Deutsche Elektronische Musik 3: Experimental German Music 1971-1981

Various Artists — Onda de Amor: Synthesized Brazilian Hits That Never Were, 1984-1994

Various Artists — Venezuela 70 Vol. 2: Cosmic Visions Of A Latin American Earth: Venezuelan Experimental Rock In The 1970s & Beyond

Various Artists — Soul Of A Nation 2: Jazz Is The Teacher, Funk Is The Preacher

Various Artists — African Scream Contest Volume 2: Benin 1963 - 1980

Favourite Music 2017:

Algiers — Underside of Power

Atlantik Wall — Atlantik Wall

Charlotte Gainsbourg — Rest

Circle — Terminal

Colin Stetson — All This I Do For Glory

Gnod — Just Say No to the Psycho Right-Wing Capitalist Fascist Industrial Death Machine

Here Lies Man — Here Lies Man

Idles — Brutalism

Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith — The Kid

King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard — Flying Microtonal Banana; Murder of the Universe; Polygondwanaland; Sketches of Brunswick East

The Moonlandingz — Interplanetary Class Classics

Nadine Shah — Holiday Destination

Oxbow — Thin Black Duke

Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs — Feed the Rats

Protomartyr — Relatives in Descent

Rainforest Spiritual Enslavement — Ambient Black Magic

Richard Dawson — Peasant

Thundercat — Drunk

Waxahatchee — Out in the Storm

William Basinski — A Shadow in Time

The Yossarians — Fabric of Time

Zola Jesus — Okovi

Honourable Mentions 2017:

All Them Witches — Sleeping Through the War

The Caretaker — Everywhere at the End of Time (Stage 2); Everywhere at the End of Time (Stage 3)

The Chats — Get This In Ya

Chelsea Wolfe — Hiss Spun

The Dumpies — The Dumpies

Electric Wizard — Wizard Bloody Wizard

EMA — Exile in the Outer Ring

The Fall — New Facts Emerge

French Vanilla — French Vanilla

Game Theory — Supercalifragile

Japan Blues — Sells His Record Collection

Moon Duo — Occult Architecture Vol. 1; Occult Architecture Vol. 2

NSRD — The Workshop for the Restoration of Unfelt Feelings

Onus — Ratsickles

Priests — Nothing Feels Natural

St. Vincent — MASSEDUCATION

Torres — Three Futures

UUUU — UUUU

Wire — Silver/Lead

Favourite Reissues, Compilations, Soundtracks and Live Albums 2017:

Black Sabbath — The Ten Year War

The Fall — Singles 1978-2016

German Oak — Down In The Bunker

Husker Dü — Savage Young Dü

Midori Takada — Through The Looking Glass

Patrick Cowley — Afternooners

The Pentangle — The Albums

Pep Llopis — Poiemusia La Nau Dels Argonautes

Various Artists — Music From Saharan Cellphones Vol. 1

Various Artists — N.E.E.T (Not in Education Employment or Training)

Various Artists — Noise Reduction System: Formative European Electronica 1974-1984

Various Artists — Silhouettes and Shadows: A Gothic Revolution 1978-1986

Favourite Music 2016:

All diese Gewalt — Welt in Klammern

ANOHNI — HOPELESSNESS

Årabrot — Gospel

Car Seat Headrest — Teens of Denial

Cheena — Spend the Night With…

Controlled Bleeding — Larva Lumps and Baby Bumps

David Bowie — Blackstar

The Dwarves of East Agouza — Bes

Exploded View — Exploded View

Fat White Family — Songs for Our Mothers

Fear of Men — Fall Forever

Hedvig Mollestad Trio — Black Stabat Mater

Jozef van Wissem — When Shall This Bright Day Begin

The KVB — Of Desire

King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard — Nonagon Infinity

Leonard Cohen — You Want It Darker

The Mekons — Existentialism

Mélanie De Biasio — Blackened Cities

The Minneapolis Uranium Club — Human Exploration; All of Them Naturals

Moor Mother — Fetish Bones

Mütterlein — Orphans of the Black Sun

Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds — Skeleton Tree

Parquet Courts — Human Performance

Savages — Adore Life

SHXCXCHCXSH — SsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSs

True Widow — Avvolgere

White Lung — Paradise

Honourable Mentions 2016:

The Caretaker — Everywhere at the End of Time

Diminished Men — Vision in Crime

Dinosaur Jr. — Give a Glimpse of What Yer Not

Future of the Left — The Peace and Truce of Future of the Left

Hen Ogledd — Bronze

Jenny Hval — Blood Bitch

Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith & Suzanne Ciani — Sunergy

The Limiñanas — Malamore

Marissa Nadler — Strangers

PJ Harvey — The Hope Six Demolition Project

Radiohead — A Moon Shaped Pool

Rangda — The Heretic’s Bargain

SubRosa — For This We Fought the Battle of Ages

Swans — The Glowing Man

Wrekmeister Harmonies — Light Falls

Wire — Nocturnal Koreans

Favourite Reissues, Compilations, Soundtracks and Live Albums 2016:

Big Star — The Complete Third

Cluster — 1971-1981

Nine Inch Nails — The Fragile: Deviations 1

Pere Ubu — Architecture of Language 1979-1982

Scott Walker — The Childhood of a Leader (OST)

Sun Ra — Singles: The Definitive 45's Collection 1952-1991

Various Artists — Close to the Noise Floor: Formative UK Electronica 1975-1984

Various Artists — Killed By Deathrock Vol. 2

Various Artists — Wake You Up! Vol. 1: The Rise and Fall of Nigerian Rock Music 1972-1977

Various Artists — Wake You Up! Vol. 2: The Rise and Fall of Nigerian Rock Music 1972-1977

Favourite Music 2015:

Bad Guys — Bad Guynaecology

Baron — Torpor

The Body & Thou — You, Whom I Have Always Hated

Chelsea Wolfe — Abyss

Circuit des Yeux — In Plain Speech

Couch Slut — My Life As a Woman

Die Nerven — Out

The Eccetronic Research Council — Johnny Rocket, Narcissist & Music Machine…I’m Your Biggest Fan

Feu! Chatterton — Ici le jour (a tout enseveli)

Ghold — Of Ruin

The Inward Circles — Belated Movements For An Unsanctioned Exhumation August 1st 1984

Institute — Catharsis

Jenny Hval — Apocalypse, Girl

Low — Ones and Sixes

MEATRAFFLE — Hi Fi Classics

The Mekons — Jura

Men I Trust — Headroom

Negative Scanner — Negative Scanner

Protomartyr — The Agent Intellect

Pyramids — A Northern Meadow

Thundercat — The Beyond/Where the Giants Roam

Torres — Sprinter

U.S Girls — Half Free

Viet Cong — Viet Cong

Honourable Mentions 2015:

Alessandro Cortini — Risveglio

Bell Witch — Four Phantoms

Container — LP

Gnaw Their Tongues — Abyss of Longing Throats

J.C. Satàn — J.C. Satàn

Księżyc — Rabbit Eclipse

LoneLady — Hinterland

Nadine Shah — Fast Food

Spectres — Dying

Titus Andronicus — The Most Lamentable Tragedy

Tropic of Cancer — Stop Suffering

Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats — The Night Creeper

Favourite Reissues, Compilations, Soundtracks and Live Albums 2015:

Coil — Backwards

Harmonia — Complete Works

Patrick Cowley — Muscle Up

Peter Christopherson — Live At L'Étrange Festival 2004

Rose McDowall — Cut With the Cake Knife

Sun Ra And His Arkestra — To Those Of Earth… And Other Worlds

Swans — The Gate

Swans — White Light from the Mouth of Infinity/Love of Life

Van der Graaf Generator — After the Flood: At the BBC 1968-77

Various Artists — [Cease & Desist] DIY (Cult Classics from the Post-Punk Era 1978-82)

Various Artists — Next Stop Soweto: Zulu Rock, Afro-Disco and Mbaqanga 1975-1985 Vol. 4

Various Arists — Small Town Country, Vol. 1

Favourite Music 2014:

Angel Olsen — Burn Your Fire for No Witness

Ben Frost — A U R O R A

The Body — I Shall Die Here

Burial Hex — The Hierophant

Current 93 — I Am the Last of All the Field That Fell

Die Nerven — Fun

Einstürzende Neubauten — Lament

English Heretic — The Underground Service

Fear of Men — Loom

Feu! Chatterton — Feu! Chatterton

Grouper — Ruins

Hedvig Mollestad Trio — Enfant Terrible

Inga Copeland — Because I'm Worth It

The Inward Circles — Nimrod Is Lost in Orion and Osyris in the Doggestarre

Leonard Cohen — Popular Problems

Pharmakon — Bestial Burden

The Proper Ornaments — Wooden Head

Protomartyr — Under Color of Official Right

Pye Corner Audio & Not Waving — Intercepts

Richard Dawson — Nothing Important

Scott Walker & Sunn O))) — Soused

Silo — Work

Swans — To Be Kind

Thou — Heathen

White Lung — Deep Fantasy

Honourable Mentions 2014:

The Antlers — Familiars

Cult of Youth — Final Days

Earth — Primitive and Deadly

East India Youth — Total Strife Forever

EMA — The Future’s Void

Flying Lotus — You’re Dead!

Gazelle Twin — Unflesh

Iceage — Plowing Into The Field Of Love

Off — Wasted Years

Slim Twig — A Hound at the Hem

Sd Laika — That's Harakiri

Somali Yacht Club — The Sun

St. Vincent — St. Vincent

Tindersticks — Ypres

Ty Segall — Manipulator

White Fence — For the Recently Found Innocent

Wovenhand — Refractory Obdurate

Favourite Reissues, Compilations, Soundtracks and Live Albums 2014:

Austin Wintory — The Banner Saga (OST)

Jack Ruby — Hit and Run

John Coltrane — Offering: Live at Temple University

King Crimson — Starless

The Spies — The Battle of Bosworth Terrace

Various Artists — Native North America, Vol 1.: Aboriginal Folk, Rock, and Country 1966-1985

Various Artists — Sombras: Spanish Post-Punk and Dark Pop 1981-1986

Favourite Music 2013:

Chelsea Wolfe — Pain Is Beauty

David Bowie — The Next Day

Dawn of Midi — Dysnomia

Destruction Unit —Deep Trip; Void

The Devil — The Devil

The Dowland Project — Night Sessions

The Fall — Remainderer EP

Fat White Family — Champagne Holocaust

Iceage — You’re Nothing

Industrial Park — Cold White

Jozef Van Wissem — Nihil Obstat

Low — The Invisible Way

New War — New War

Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds — Push the Sky Away

Pharmakon — Abandon

Protomartyr — No Technique, All Passion; Colpi Probiti EP

SubRosa — More Constant Than The Gods

Savages — Silence Yourself

True Widow — Circumambulation

Veronica Falls — Waiting for Something to Happen

Wire — Change Becomes Us

Honourable Mentions 2013:

Catholic Spray — Amazon Hunt

Darkside — Psychic

Diarrhea Planet — I'm rich beyond your wildest dreams

Jenny Hval — Innocence Is Kinky

The Limiñanas — Costa Blanca

Mark Mulcahy — Dear Mark J. Mulcahy, I Love You

Merchandise — Totale Night

My Bloody Valentine — m b v

Nadine Shah — Love You Dum and Mad

Nine Inch Nails — Hesitation Marks

Suede — Bloodsports

Tropic of Cancer — Restless Idylls

Ty Segall — Sleeper

Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats — Mind Control

Unknown Mortal Orchestra — II

Favourite Reissues, Compilations, Soundtracks and Live Albums 2013:

Bob Dylan — Another Self Portrait (1969-1970): The Bootleg Series Vol. 10

The Conet Project — Recordings of Shortwave Numbers Stations

Earth Dies Burning — Songs from the Valley of the Bored Teenager 1981-1984

Jozef Van Wissem & SQÜRL — Only Lovers Left Alive (OST)

King Crimson — The Road to Red

Neil Young — Live At The Cellar Door 1970

Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds — Live From KCRW

Patrick Cowley — School Daze

Swans — Not Here/Not Now

Various Artists — Deutsche Elektronische Musik 2: Experimental German Rock And Electronic Musik 1971-83

Various Arists — Everything's Coming Up Profits: The Golden Age of Industrial Musicals

Various Artists — Scared to Get Happy: A Story of Indie-Pop 1980-1989

Various Artists — Sorrow Come Pass Me Around: A Survey of Rural Black Religious Music

#music #best music 2023 #best music 2022 #best music 2021 #best music 2020 #blog #personal history #major works

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motherknuckers · 2 months

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Wrestlemania as a whole was so beautiful and I have so much faith for whatever direction the company decides to go going forward.

Thank you Roman for your iconic reign. I'll never forget how you made me and millions of other people feel by just showing up. Thank you for giving your all in every match. Truly greatness on another level. I know the bloodline will continue to make their presence known. Forever acknowledge our Trible Chief. ☝️

#wwe #roman reigns #the bloodline

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tgammsideblog · 2 years

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Okay, but i loved how the latest episode tackled a very hard topic and how it’s treated with the seriousness needed while still having the comedic moments the show has. I like how the episode shows how much the Mcgee family struggles with paying the bill, with Molly and Darryl having to sell stuff, Sharon working trible job hours and Scratch helping cleaning and talking care of Pete.

And it’s just fantastic how everyone they helped in Brighton came together to save the house with Andrea helping raise the money using her social media. Showing how the Mcgees not only made Brighton a better place but they also brought them together as community.

#The Ghost And Molly McGee #tgamm #tgamm spoilers #Tgamm home is where the haunt is

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rain-in-the-clouds · 8 months

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After Dark

Chapter 3: Stressed Out

Warnings: Fluff & Angst (none)

Word count: 8,963

Saturday night, Y/n was laying on her couch absentmindedly scrolling through her phone, her body was sore beyond belief. Every movement felt like she was living on Neptune. When the afternoon came around she was greeted with three texts from Yuji and two from Sukuna. Yuji’s responses were a mix of enjoyment and slight dissapointment. None of the three were happy about the state of their schedules and how little they get to see each other. Sukuna’s was simple, he was happy to have spent time with her, but understood, oddly convenient, he also had to work that day. Y/n didn’t respond after that, never one to be the best texter, or one to hold a conversation via text; but she knew it wouldn’t faze them. However she’d spent most of the morning texting with Choso on and off, the last was about the current tattoo he was working on. A whole body trible design. And similarly she didn’t respond, feeling the conversation met its natural end, she decide to turn something on on her laptop and lazy around on her phone for the rest of the day. Around 8pm she finally got up and braved the pain to waddle to the kitchen and make herself some dinner, she ended up eating in there too. Folded over the small counter, still on her phone, but she was distracted enough that she actually enjoyed her slapped together meal. She was deep into a YouTube analysis video, completely endorsed, was suprised into dropping her phone when a text came in.

She groaned at herself for the jumpyness, but she quickly grabbed up her phone, it was from Choso. It read, “Hey, so I know we made plans for tomorrow, but Idk what time I should show up. If you’re still up to hang out.” Y/n was excited by his message, her heart thumping against her chest; but she wasn’t sure why. She took a moment to forcefully calm herself, she didn’t want to be attracted to him, didn’t want to have these continues secret interactions; but she did want it. She just didn’t want to hurt the twins. She was getting stuck in a loop again, when another text came in. “It’s cool if you want me to just drop off the sketches, I get that you’ve been hella busy and you need your rest.” Choso was back stepping, for whatever reason. Y/n didn’t know if she was grateful or disheartened.

“I still wanna hang out, but I do wanna sleep in, how does 12:30pm sound? There’s a cafe just around the corner, we could meet up there?” Y/n went against and with her conflicting feelings. Sending the text with little to no hesitation. Choso’s response was almost immediate.

“Yeah that’s perfect. I sleep in on sundays too lol. I’ll see you there.” Choso ended his text with a smiling emoji. It was a little odd, he seemed to use them sparingly, and at odd times. Something about this though made Y/n feel those little butterfly’s starting in her stomach. It wasn’t late, but it was past 10pm and she was tired, but her mind was also running wild. For a good hour she paced around her small living room. When it was past midnight her mindless walking took her to her bedroom, where she found her own sketch pad. She smoothly slipped it up and sat on her bed. In the dim lamp light sprawled out on her bed, Y/n sketched several pages of Choso’s face, Sukuna and Yuji’s.

Yuji’s were soft, his bright smiling face, some were purely from childhood memory. They brought a warmth and joy that exists only in the past. She was in a way having a conversation with him while she but pen to paper. But it was completely one sided, she couldn’t bring herself to image what he’d say.

Sukuna was something else, similarly to his actual personality. His pages grew dark as she worked. His backgrounds working best being blacked out, forcing him to stand out. The angels she made were sharp and sculpted. He was stoic, she tried to capture the same blaze in his eyes, but she was never satisfied with it, not entirely at least.

Y/n paused when she flipped to the next black page. Her shoulders slumped forward as a deep sigh left her. She took a few calming breaths, rubbing her eyes, neck and back, but the tension in her didn’t let go, so she decided to step out to her balcony. As she lit her cigarette she thought it gracious too the architect to call it a balcony, barley able to fit one person; a glorified fire escape. The thought made her laugh, loud enough that she had to clap her hand over her mouth. She was tired and erratic. The ritual brought her no comfort, if anything it made her weary and wanting.

Back in her bedroom she staired at her sketch pad still open on her bed, images of Choso played through her mind, so starkly different from most anyone she’d every drawn. It felt like something from a fantasy. That’s when an idea came to Y/n, she quickly grabbed her phone and found the playlist from the party, she slipped her headphones on and blasted the section of songs from when she met Choso to when they parted. The memory’s of him were soft and ethereal, despite his hard features. Y/n slipped into a rythem, she drew severl headshots, mostly from that night, his hair down, so dark it made even the page show his pale complexion. She stopped when her charcoal crumbled beneath her fingers. Taking it as a sign she stacked up the sketches and placed them back on her desk. Y/n flopped onto the bed, sleep finally taking her, she peacefully drifted away.

——

Choso was sleeping in his oversized bed, the morning sunrays beamed through his windows, warming him into waking up. He was reluctant, burying his face deeper into his pillows. His mind was waking faster then he wanted, he haphazardly pawed for his phone, forgetting where it ended up last night; that’s what ultimately got him out of bed. He paded around his home half prepping for his day out, half avoiding the unrelenting conflicting thoughts. Choso ended up standing in front of his closet, several articles of clothing were scattered around his room and bed. He was only wearing slack grey sweats, staring like the clothes will magically appear before him. This was an odd situation he found himself in, not only the feeling of betrayel and guilt lingering within him, he was nervous. Choso had partners in the past, Sukuna was right in one aspect, he acttraced people without trying, in the past it annoyed him, fueled him to be reserved. But this situation had him rethinking some of his philosophy’s. He ended up sitting cross legged on the floor still staring into his closet, he snapped a decision out of self spite. Settling on tight black jeans, a loose red tee and an oversized black hoodie. Simple but workable. He’d packaged Y/n’s sketches the night before, not before stealing a picture of his favorite one. A side profile, in that same angelic light.

When noon came around he left his apartment in a rush, but in the car he took the longest way possible, shooting a text to Y/n when he was close. She didn’t respond, he assumed that he was still early. But he couldn’t wonder around forever, so he parked in between he arpartment and the cafe, settaling in a small seat just inside, the tube that holds the sketches clutched between his leg; he was jittery.

——

Y/n was right in that she would sleep in. Not waking up till just past 11am. She was groggy and felt grimie. Her bed was a mess, she’d had a rousing dream by the looks of things. She ignored it, moving to go about her normal routine, her mind far form thinking about the night before, the twins and Choso. She was in the midst of downing a breakfast of coffe, eggo and a smoke on the not balcony when her phone buzzed in her pokect. A text from Choso. That’s when she saw the time, that’s when everything rushed back like a tsunami. Y/n half read the text, back in her room in a flash, tearing through her bathroom and closet in record time. Y/n slapped together an outfit, grey leggings, black tee and red hoodie. By 12:20pm she was out the door and near running to the cafe. Cursing that her apartment complex, was complex. When she rounded the corner to the cafe she stumbled out of her run into a ‘normal’ walk, though she was somewhat breathless. But she soon saw Choso through the cafe’s large front windows sitting inside. Y/n picked up her pace, pushing her way through the heavy door, she couldn’t help the smile that overtook her when Choso saw her. He quickly stood up, he almost waved, but the distance between them didn’t warent it so he about slapped his hands against his thighs.

Choso was also smiling, he’d spotted Y/n just before she walked in, that bubbling enegery had him shooting out of his seat when their eyes met. But as fast as he stood the two were sitting back down. “Hey Y/n.” He greeted, unsure of how to begin any conversation, a clear sign to his nerves, that he chose to vheamitlly ignore. Y/n smiled at him, bright and cheerful.

“Heya.” As for Y/n she was half burnt out, half fixated on the moment, she also couldn’t think of what to say next. Luckily for the two a waitress appeared to hand out and fill up cups. This gave Y/n a chance to take in Choso, his hair was up in a full pony, the hoodie he wore was tight around his arms but loose around his body, it highlited his toned figure. She didn’t think she was staining but when he caught her eyes raking over him, her cheeks flushed and gaze averted quckily. Choso devilishly smirked at her, something that had those butterflys flapping like mad.

“Did you have a good night Y/n?” He asked coolie, the charm oozing off him. He even caught himself off guard with how he can shift from the nervous mess to swave was beyond him, but he didn’t question it in the moment. Y/n’s blush had calmed but was still present, she’d chose to push past it despite the look Choso was giving her.

“Somewhat, long, but ya know, normal I suppose?” She questioned back, her nerves were on fire; she felt ridiculous, having spent a decent amount of time with Choso already, she was flustered that this meet up was having such an effect on her. SHe felt fidgety, fiddling with the hem of her hoodie, or by twisting her hair between two fingers. “Had a hard time falling asleep, drew some to pass the time.” She said honestly, a little defeated by the lack of rest. Choso had dropped the charm, his expression turning to soft concern.

“Oh.” Slipped form him first. “I’m sorry. Honestly I can’t imagen how exhausted you must be after everything.” He was being sympathetic, understanding all too well the late nights of work and school, the juggling of everything in your life. “We don’t gotta be out long. Lucky that your place is so close.” He spoke warmly to her. Y/n was as little saddened by his suggestion, though it would be the smarter decision. Her expression must have said as much because Choso began to backtrack. “I mean we could still hang out, I just don’t see why we gotta, I dunno, be active?” He was spitballing ideas that didn’t make the best sense. It made Y/n giggle, her nerves calmed by that aura that Choso gives off around her.

“It’s okay. Yeah I’m a little tired, but it’s nothing bad.” Y/n smiled, it was half hearted. “But we don’t gotta cut this short or anything. I wanna be here.” Y/n was showing her nerves through her words, but she was ernest. Feeling dower about the current conversation she quickly changed it to a lighter one. Pointing to tube carrier Choso was clutching onto. “Are those the sketches?” She asked innocently.

Choso’s eyes went wide for a micro second, darting to the parcel between his legs. “Oh! Yeah it is.” Choso was struck with a wave of nervousness again, his hands felt shaky and clammy. But he stilled them enough to pass off the sketches to Y/n. HIs finger’s grazing over her’s as he pressed it into her hands. She gladly accepted them, mimicking Choso by holding between her legs.

“Thank you. I’ll look at them later.” Y/n thought about the ones she drew herself of Choso, but remembered to late as they were still back at her apartment. Choso must have saw her thinking, or the thoughtly expression she wore.

“Something on your mind?” He wasn’t sure what she could’ve been thinking about but it was serious enough to distract her from the moment. Y/n’s attention was brought back, but she was debating on whether or not to tell him. She chose the later and came up with a little fib.

“Oh I was thinking about the contest. Aren’t they going to announce the winners soon? At the expo or somethin’?” She questioned, she knew the answer, knew when it was going to happen. Escaping that information, especially in her position was near impossible. But she faned ignorance all the same; though she wasn’t the best actor. The question coming out too confidant. Choso blinked a few times, scraping at his brain for the information.

“Yeah that’s when. Few days time we’ll know who the top three are.” Choso sounded dissapointed, like he’d already lost. “Contestants got an email about it. Mandatory attendance or disqualification.” He was speaking from personal knowledge. “Got the email this morning.” He informed bitterly. Y/n chuckled at that. He gave an expression of ‘What?’ in response.

Y/n had to force herself not to laugh harder. “I’m guessing you were hoping to skip that part huh?” Y/n questioned while shooting him a flirtatious smile.

“Yes I was.” He said in a deadpan manner, making Y/n laugh again, her blush had returned, she had to suppress her giddy behavior by slugging back her coffee. He in turn laughed at her, gaining the reaction he was hoping for. When that died down they switched topics again, talking about everything from school, work, art and music. Choso even had all of his playlist he wanted to share ready. Y/n fumbled to find hers on her phone, none of the titles made the best sense. But she was still happy to share. The two were practically huddled over the small table, scrolling through their phones together, when Y/n landed on a decades old playlist, one she’d made back in junior high with the twins. The title card was even a picture of them, the three of them and the rest of their tightknit group, mostly consisting of Y/n’s cousins. Choso raised a brow at the image.

“What’s that one about?” He asked while clicking on the playlist. It was a lot of songs from the early 2000s, all the way till 2009. Y/n’s expression turned solem, starring at the picture brought back meny memories. She smiled warmly however, the burn of tears sat behind her eyes, but she wouldn’t allow them to come forward.

“It’s one we all made together. Songs we’d sing, dance and goof off too. So meny of them were our favorites back then. Stopped adding to it after the move.” She paused, the memory of the last time they were all tougher listening to these songs. It was a good day, warm and bright. “Hurt a little too much.” She spoke rather bitterly. Choso simply nodded along, listening and watching closely. He saw the weight of the past on her shoulders in that moment, things he knew nothing about, but she always had them right with her; in her smile and eyes. A thought came to mind then.

“You could update it now. Couldn’t you?” It came out as a question rather then a suggestion. Y/n blinked a few times, whether blinking back tears or having a reveling thought, Choso wasn’t sure. But the smile that grew told him it was a positive idea.

“Yeah we could. Little by little.” She said warmly, thinking about what the boys could add now, the thought made her smile grow. Choso smiled with her, elated that he was able to brighten her mood, even if only a little.

“Who’s the other three with you? I don’t think either of those two mentioned anyone else besides you.” He said in a vague way that had Y/n curious.

“My cousins. Odd they’d never say anything about them. We were all pretty close. The one in the far back is the oldest of the group, Tanji.” The boy in question had fiery red hair and matching eyes, and he clearly towered over everyone. “Behind Yuji is Junpei, and behind Sukuna is Uraume.” Choso squinted at the image on Y/n’s phone then back and Y/n.

“You guys don’t….” He let his sentence fall flat, feeling as if his question was inappropriate. But now Y/n was looking at him confused.

“Don’t what?” Y/n parroted back, she was wear a devilish smile now. “Look a like?” She questioned sarcastically. Choso looked like a deer in headlights, caught in his curiousity. “We get that a lot actually.” Y/n laughed, causing Choso to relax some. “Tanji’s adopted, he’s Junpei’s older brother, their my from my mom’s side. Uraume is from my dad’s side.” Y/n explained, the fondness in her voice faltered slightly at the end however. “They were the ones who helped me get over the boys moving. We called every day for a while too. It was always so chaotic.” She laughed thinking about the chaos the group still lives in, it had both of them laughing.

“When did it change?” Choso questioned while flipping though his phone, searching for the earliest pictures of him and the twins. Not thinking about the obvious answer.

“Near the end of junior high, around the time your parents got together.” She said matter of factly. but their was no malice there either. “I don’t think high school helped any either.” She shook her head though, “But it never really changed. I never stopped thinking about them or talking to them.” Y/n then was hit with a guilt she’d been carrying for years, her expression showed as much. But Choso didn’t pry, he did note the accruance however. “Did you know they called me during the wedding?” She asked, cutting the string of thoughts that was unraveling in her mind. Choso was suprised by the new information.

“No I did not.” He said still a little stunned. “That would explain thier absence during the reception.” He spoke fondly of the memory, but there was still that hint of annoyance in his tone.

“Yeah I told them as much then too. But they were giddy, if you can imagine.” Choso was unsuccessful in finding anything, but he made a mental note to search the next time he was at his parent’s house. He’d pocketed his phone when Y/n did, both seeing no reason to still have them out.

“How long have you guys known each other exactly? I’ve asked them in the past, but they would never say.” Choso poked a little, letting his ceriousity lead him. Y/n wasn’t looking at him when he asked, but he saw the expression change, the very aura about her change as she slipped back into a memory. She was smiling, warm but there was sarow there.

When Y/n began she still wasn’t looking at him, clearly gazing inwardly. “We were around six. They’d just moved in across the street, middle of winter too. I can still see them clutching onto their mom. Looking back now, she was frail even then.” Choso remembered when his dad told them about the twins mom, they rarely spoke of her. “I was outside when they showed up. They ran from me that first time, it was so funny.” Choso let out a laugh that was loud, he clapped a hand over his mouth, cheeks turning a tint more red from embaressment.

“Now that I can’t picture.” He said once he was calm enough.

“It’s true!” She rebuttled. “But it didn’t stay that way for long.” Choso cocked a brow at her, urging her to elaborate. “It was the next day at school. We were in the same class, they sat behind me. It wasn’t till recess that I actually got to talk to them though.” Y/n finally met Choso’s eyes, looking to him as if he could picture what she was talking about. “They were off by themselves, sitting under a tree. They looked so sad.” Y/n had a far off look in her eye, rembering how much she hated them looking like that, the urge she felt to make them not sad. “I just went up and started talking to them. They did not like me at first. Didn’t say a thing that whole time.” She laughed. “At the end of the day when our parents were supposed to pick us up, no one came for me. At the time my cousins didn’t live there yet, and my parents were working late.” Her smile grew as she continued. “They walked me home. I don’t know what changed their minds, but they just did.” Y/n began to drift back to that moment.

A six year old Y/n stood outside an old primary school, thick snow was all over the ground, heavy and wet. She stood just outside the schools gate, patiently waiting, watching other kids being picked up or walked home by their parents. The cold was starting to burn her face, and she felt hot tears start to form in her eyes as she was soon the only one left standing alone. She wanted to curl in on herself and was about to, but was hastfully stopped by a hand grabbing her own accompanied by a small but cheerful voice.

“Don’t cry.” It shocked Y/n, she stood straight up, staring at the boy next to her holding her hand. It was Yuji. Before she knew it the other twin, better known as Sukuna, was holding her other hand.

“We can walk you home.” He stated simply, not looking at her, but holding her hand firmly. Y/n was confused and happy all at once.

“Yeah!” She shouted, the tears had stopped, and she held their hands a little tighter as the three started home.

Choso couldn’t help but see the light that practically radiates from her, the softness of her expression to the glow in her eyes, he was more then captivated by her. “That sound like them.” He spoke softly, mostly to himself, but Y/n heard him. She nodded in response.

“Yeah they really haven’t changed.” That far off look was fading as her mind fully retuned to the present. Feeling as though she’d been talking for way to long, she flipped the situation and started asking Choso questions. “I wanna know more about you. Yuji’s only told me a little bit and that was forever ago. What was your life before the Itadori’s?” She asked finally though cheerfully. Choso was a little suprised by the question, and the answer was one he didn’t have to think hard about. That time painful and still clear in his mind.

“It….” Choso was looking deep in Y/n’s eyes, looking for something in them, though he didn’t know what. Y/n was shocked when she saw the clear look of fear hidden in Choso’s eyes. In return Choso saw only understanding, only warmth , something that had him feeling vulnerable. “It was a bad time.” He spoke finally, the words leaving him in a way similar to someone confessing. Y/n didn’t move, didn’t change, just continued to pay attention. “I have two other brothers. I haven’t seen them in 15 years.” He couldn’t hold Y/n’s gaze, the thought of them forcing his head to bow. “My….when my mom left she took me, tired to take them too, but he won that fight.” Was all he could muster, his voice was low, in the back of his mind he was in recoil at what could be Y/n’s reaction. She suprised him again with a simple action, gently laying her hand atop his still bowed head. Softly stroking his loose black locks, feather light but warm and comforting. It took everything in him not to cry, something about the small comfort he was offered, something about it made a cord snap in his mind. He leaned into her touch and reveled in the feeling, but it had to end and it did, too soon for him.

“I’m sorry.” Y/n’s voice was small, regretfilled and mournful. It had Choso snapping his head up to meet her eyes once again. She was clearly distraught, but she kept it behind a thin vale. “I didn’t mean to…” She wasn’t sure how to continue feeling like she’d already said too much. Choso returned the comforting gesture, literally. His large hand settaling a top her head, gently petting her hair back. Her eyes were on him in less the a second, the gesture brought much comfort, but his expression, a glowing smile, also brought on other emotions.

“It’s alright. Can’t change the past.” His smile never faltered, and his touch was warm. When he retracted his hand she missed the contact immediately, almost moving with his hand. Choso pretended he didn’t notice, his smile hiding his delight. But that telltale awkwardness began to swallow them, they both felt it. Felt that wash of pause as the electricity between began to spark. They were sitting a little too close together, Y/n felt it whenever their arms brushed together or when Choso spoke just quiet enough that she had to lean a little further in.

It was growing late in the afternoon when the too finally called it a day. They both had been sitting too long without moving, legs feeling like jelly. It made both laugh. Choso offered to walk Y/n the short distance home, and she saw no reason to reject the offer, seeing as an opportunity to further their time together, even if just a little. They’d just past the gate when Y/n brought up an idea she’d been thinking about.

“How does a house warming sound?” She asked out of the blue, gazing raking up her tall apartment ask she thought about the idea more. Choso however was a little confused.

“Like for your place? I mean, why not right? But isn’t it a little late?” He counter questioned, but his positivity was more then what Y/n was hoping for.

“Well yeah, but we’ve just been busy. I think if I plan right everyone would be able to make it.” She surmised.

“Yeah I think you could. And knowing those two they’d jump at the idea.” Choso let out a breathy laugh. “They’d probably force everyone else to go.” The thought had Y/n joining in the laughter, believing full well they’d do that.

“I’ll probably shoot for after the expo. I’ve got my own stuff to prep for too, and I know Yuji’s test is coming up. I’m hoping it can be sortta like a congrats party for all of us and not just a regular house party.” Y/n explained while pantomiming unnecessarally. Choso was nodding along, picturing the event and the delight it would bring. When Choso and Y/n reached her apartment she absentmindedly walked in, Choso following behind, neither questioning the familiarity nor casualness of these simple actions and what it could mean. Y/n placed the tube in her room, snatching up the pages she’d did of him the night before and storing them away in her desk before returning to Choso. Who was still by the front door.

“Thanks for walking me back.” She said with a soft smile. “I had a great time today. I haven’t gotten to relax like that in a while. It was really nice.” She spoke so fondly, so much so Choso found himself leaning towards her, his mind stopping him before she could notice or question it.

“It’s no problem. I had fun today too. I hope we can do it again sometime.” He didn’t catch himself in time with his words however. Caught in the moment, not realizing he just did the thing he’d been telling himself not to do. But he was also relieved to have let some of his feelings out. Y/n returned his offer with a brighter smile, and a giggle she had to stifle.

“That’s be great. But I think I gotta plan the party first.” She giggled out. Excited at the prospect of more ime with him, totally forgetting her own internal conflicts. Choso nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, you should probably tell Yuji and Sukuna though, they’d wanna help.” He admitted, being able to clearly picture their reaction otherwise. “Oh and I’ll help too. Whatever you need, ya know.” He added in a semi rush. Y/n giggled again while patting him on the shoulder.

“Yeah. I’ll let you know.” With that Choso left and Y/n resigned to her room, he was giddy and exhausted, having gone through an array of emotions in one afternoon, the drive home his mind raced with meny thoughts and questions. Ones of conflict and ones of joy. Y/n was wrapped up in the warm feeling blooming in her chest and the flapping in her stomach, it wasn’t until later that night when she sent the party plan to Yuji and Sukuna that she thought about the day and herself in a different light. The rest of that night Y/n spent lock in deep thought on the situation as well as her own feelings.

——

The day of the expo came faster then anyone was prepaired for, the contestants the most. Y/n had been in a chaotic rush since Monday morning, helping the arts department set up. She didn’t get to see where her art was being displayed until the official start, a stipulation of her work contract. But she got to be apart of the group who hung and displayed the contestants works, though she and the others didn’t get to see that art either, all of them being covered by thick canvas. The crew that got the expo up and running finished just in time. It was a late afternoon on a Friday, at first people came little by little, but by 6pm the school was filled with people. The expo had been set up around the entirety of the multi school campus, allowing for each department to show off the best of the best in their own spaces; however the contests and the winners were hung in the main building. This insures everyone could see them clearly without having to travel to the individual departments that were holding scholarships contests. The crew got to leave a few hours prior to the expo starting.

Y/n had planned to meet up with the twins but she’d lost track of time, sending a text to Yuji, along the lines of ‘go on ahead, I’ll meet you there.’ She ended up taking an overpriced Uber back to the school, that was swarming with people, everyone from students and their family’s, factually, and perspectives. Y/n wasn’t paying attention to where she was going, trying to get ahold of either twin, she stumbled into the main building. Fumbaling further when her eyes landed on the 1st place winner of the arts contest, struck by its beauty and dumbfounded by the creator; Choso Kamo. The sketch, that hung below the painting, was ethereal; the use of charcoal paired with white and blue pastels made the peice pop off the page in a way Y/n hadn’t seen before. The oil painting accompanying it was equally stunning, the use of dark oranges and reds for the backlight, the near blinding glow of the halo, to the delicate gold fabric; it about made Y/n cry. If she didn’t know better, she wouldn’t have thought she was the model behind the painting. Without thought she treked forward until she was a few feet from it, needing to see more detail. She was already captivated by Choso’s art, the sketches he gave her captured her whole heart, but this was something else, he’d put his all and then some into this piece.

—

Choso had been on edge the days leading up to the expo, filled with so meny thoughts and worries. The night prior he’s gotten stuck in a loop, the dreaded ‘what ifs?’ All the ways it could all go wrong. This led to him pushing his time, not showing up till 5:50pm. But to his chagrin the art wasn’t unveiled until time was up and contestants accounted for. Choso was grouped together with the 15 contestants in no particular order, trotted out in front of everyone who chose to congregate in the main hall for the announcement. He was by far the most shocked to see his results, while the group around him, especially the four guys who’d chummed up to him in the weeks leading up, celebrated his and the other two’s success. He was mortified. This had him obligated to stay in the main hall, forced to go through motions of ceremony, hoping all the while something would happen so that his family, and Y/n, don’t see. But he knew that wasn’t in the cards. He’d been walking around the main hall with the other two winners, talking to the winners of the other contest, faculty wishing them congratulations for some time before he split off and sneak out for a much needed brake.

He was outside taking long drags from a cigarette, it brought no comfort in that moment. But he continued, in no rush to return to the fray inside, until he saw Y/n. She was outside the main building, phone up to her ear, speeding walking through the crowd while her eyes darted around in search. Choso acted a step too slow, entering the main building behind her, but even then he was too late, she was already standing in front of his work, examminging it intensely. He felt the blood drain from his face as he watched her. From behind he couldn’t see what her reaction is, but by how still she became he could assume it suprised her; goor or bad he wasn’t sure. He wasn’t going to wait around to find out, instead barreling forward until he was just beside Y/n. She didn’t notice him, but he saw her, her reaction and how in awe she was. It had him swelling with pride.

“I take it you like it?” He asked suddenly, braking the silence that was quickly sruonding him, effectively startaling Y/n in the process. Y/n about jumped out of her skin, side stepping away from the voice to only step back when she realized who it was.

“Choso.” She said while letting out a deep realiving sigh. His name on her lips forced the blood back in his cheeks, and a goofy smile to overtake his expression. “Why do you guys do that.” She said, exacerbating her tone and gestures. When Y/n calmed herself, she smiled to Choso, realizing what he’d asked. “Yes I do. I…I think it’s beautiful.” She spoke ernestly, getting lost again in the images before them. Her words caught Choso off guard, the way her voice caught in her chest, to the way her eyes glowed, he felt more then just gratitude.

“Thank you.” His voice came out low and breathy, the butterfly’s in Y/n were going mad at that. “I’m glad you like it.” He chuckled nervously, his eyes looking anywhere else but the painting and sketch. But each time his eyes drifted over Y/n he felt that alluring pull once again.

“I do, it’s amazing Choso.” She leaned in to speak to him, though unnecessary, till their arms were pressed together. Feeling that spark between them flow through a light touch. Y/n’s sweet words, soft eyes and warm touch had a blush bloom across Choso’s cheeks, highlighting his strip tattoo. A beat fell between them, neither said a word nor moved to separate, they simply enjoyed the art before them. For a bit they walked up and down the line of contestant art, half analyzing the differences between all of them and half joking about that day of the contest. They’d made a full circle around the main building, Y/n all but forgetting the group she was supposed to meet up with, completely arnamored with her company. The two were back at Choso’s painting, both with flushed faces and tired face muscles, Choso was about to make a suggestion when they were interrupted.

A loud and aggressive, “What the fuck!” Came from behind them, a voice both clearly recognized. It was followed by glares, gawks and gasps. Choso and Y/n froze, not turning to face the enraged Sukuna, but they didn’t get a choice, he was behind both of them in an instant, hands clapped around Choso’s shoulder, shoving himself between the two of them. Yuji was on Y/n’s opposite side, staying silent while his eyes were locked onto the artwork. The others huddled around them, the indirectly of thier friend circle. Choso was flooded with every emotion under the sun, embaresment being the strongest one. Megumi chimed in at the best moment, roughly elbowing Sukuna in the side until he let go of his older brother.

“Stop making an ass of yourself.” He said in a harsh voice, filled with gravel and annoyance. “You act like this is some big shock.” He scoffed. Yuta, who was on Choso’s other side hummed in agreement.

“Gumi’s right. No use getting mad at good art after all.” In his own way he slipped a complaint to Choso. There was a ghost of a smile on his lips, but it vanished too fast to be seen.

“I knew you’d win.” Yuji spoke up, his eyes were still on the painting, but his voice was as bright as ever. Choso couldn’t help the eye roll towards his brother. Who turned his attention to Choso to shoot him a smart as look.

“Is now really the time for, ‘I told you so’s’?” Choso asked scarcasticlly. Earning a reaction of laughed and chuckles from the group, except for Sukuna, who was still scowling at the painting. Unbeknownst to the group, except for Yuji, he was holding onto Y/n’s hand talking to her thought touch. This was another thing the three of them do, something they started when they were still little. They’d hold each others hands and in thier own language have full conversations in complete silence. The secret language consisted of their fingers rubbing together in a spasific patterns, squeezing the whole of thier hands, or tracing symbols into thier palms.

Their hidden conversations always alluded the people around them, even now with their closest friends packed together. Sukuna was speeding though his words, Y/n never forgot the language, but she was having a hard time keeping up.

“You never said Choso was in that class. Did anything happen? Are you okay? Why didn’t you say anything?” He was firing one question after another, Y/n having little time to keep up, while still holding attention to the rest of the current situation. And it didn’t help when from her other side Yuji started in on his own thoughts.

“You never said anything about modeling, was something going on? Why couldn’t you tell us?” Yuji was going much slower then his twin, his words felt heavy in Y/n’s hand. She was becoming overwhelmed, feeling like this moment was being overshadowed by the boy’s concern. But in truth the group was busy conversing amongst themselves, asking Choso questions about the process and what have you, the only ones noticing the silence from the three were Yuta and Megumi; Choso didn’t have a chance to notice with the attention being on him.

Becoming too overwhelmed Y/n harshly pulled her hands from the boys hold, throwing them up in fron of her, exclaiming aloud, “That’s enough!” She was so caught up in what the twins were saying to her she didn’t realize she shouted out until she felt all eyes pointed at her. She blinked a few time, her gaze forced to the ground, “I need some air.” Was all she got out before rushing away, speeding through the crowed until she was outside some ways away from the build. Y/n was breathy raggedly, her heart pounding in her chest, the sting of tears in her eyes. “Stupid, stupid.” She said to herself. SHe felt too meny things, was being over run with a train of thoughts. It was happening again, she wanted to curl in on hersel till there was nothing left. Y/n found herself on a stone bench, willing herself to keep the tears at bay, she’d smoked though several cigarettes while sitting alone, unsure and uncaring about how long she was gone from everyone.

In the main hall everyone watched Y/n leave, the grater crowed totally unconcerned by her, but her friends were all a mix of bewildered and worried. Nobara and Maki immediately turned to the twins for answers, but they only resived shocked expressions and weary shugs in reply. Choso looked like he was going to be sick, not dissimilar to the twins. He and the boys were about to run after her, but were quickly stopped by everyone else. Yuta and Panda ushering them to give Y/n space. Megumi and Inumaki attempted to distract by walking to a connected hall, the group going along and following the two. However Choso still couldn’t leave the main hall, so he waited till they were just far enough away to grab the twins and pull them to him. They were about to go into fight mode, but saw thier brother with a panic look brought them to their senses.

“What’re you doing?” Sukuna asked in a gravely voice. Yuji was equally confused.

“Go make sure she’s okay. I don’t know what happened, but I know you two are the only ones she has here. So go now.” Choso was the most serious the boys had seen him, next to years ago back in high school, but they didn’t need to be reminded of that fact, nodded in agreement. The boys rush out of the hall themselves, until they were in the courtyard. They searched the area, but when they couldn’t fined her they began to argue about splitting up. Neither able to agree with the other, a sign they were both panicking. But they didn’t have to search for much longer, spotting Y/n sitting alone away from everyone. They treded forward with haste, uncertain how she was going to react.

Y/n noticed them before they saw her, it was hard not to, they were being very loud in thier searching. She took some calming breaths as they made their way over. Sukuna sat down first, growing to anxious with the slow moving, Yuji sat on the opposite side. They sat in silence for some time, Sukuna was watching Y/n’s hands that she had resting on her knees, his face in a scowl; but it was somehow soft. Yuji was staring at the ground, in the hopes the answers to this situation would be written in the dirt. Y/n broke the weighing silence first.

“I’m sor-“ But she was abruptly cut off by Sukuna, he’d wrapped an arm around Y/n’s back, nearly touching Yuji’s.

“No. Don’t.” He said first, his voice was gentle, but his eyes wer still heard and overbearing. Yuji followed suit and wrapped his arm around Y/n too. THe twins were in the best way they could think of, wer giving Y/n a comforting hug, but still giving her the space to leave. She didn’t though. Instead Y/n slipped her arms back to wrap each around the boys pulling them into her, completing the embrace. The comfort the two gave her caused the tears to flow again. The boys hugged her tighter, Yuji softly hummed to her, a song from their shared childhood, Sukuna began to stroke her hair, whispering “It’s okay.”

Y/n felt weak, from so meny things, she felt like falling into their arms and drifting away. She did drop her arms however, sucking them back against her body, the boys turned awkwardly in order to wrap their other arms around Y/n. From an outside perspective it looked like the boys were creepily caging her in, but it was the furthest thing from.

They didn’t press her for answers just comforted her until she was calm. They weren’t sure how long they were gone, but when they separated the main hall was much emptier then before and much of the whole campous was empty. Yuji left to see where the group was, only finding Maki, Toga and Panda, who didn’t know wher ethe others were. Sukuna left next, thoug he was weary of it, Y/n reassuring him she was okay. Sukuna and Yuji, at the same time found Megumi and Yuta who were leaving the science building.

“What are you two worked up about now?” Megumi asks, still in suspison of them being the cause of Y/n’s brakedown. Yuta elbowed him in the arm.

“Stop.” He said simply but firmly. Megumi rolled his eyes but said no more. Yuji in a rush explained what happened, or at least a vague version that didn’t revel too much or that they don’t fully know themselves what happened. However both Yuta and Megumi could see the distress the twins were feeling. Megumi explained what was happening with Choso, and that he should be done by now. Yuta relayed information from Choso about meeting him back at the main hall, with that in mind the twins left their friends again to find Choso or Y/n.

——

Choso was immediately caught by his admin the moment the twins were out of the building. He was ushered around one last time, but this time the faculty was showing he and his work off to doners and benefactors. He despised every minuet of it, everything in him was telling him to leave, his very nerves of fire. But he held back, behaved and followed along until it was over. He was shocked however when he herd he wouldn’t be getting his painting or sketch back for another two years. It being the winner ment it would be paraded around as an example for others. Choso said no word of complaint, but he made a note of it mentally. When he was finally done and free he quickly made work of leaving the main building for the courtyard.

People were starting to file out of the school in wads of shifting crowds, it made it near impossible to navigate. He reluctantly held back near the entrance of the building, several times he attempted to call Yuji and Sukuna, but the reception was awful; rendering the phone fairly useless. When he could,t get a hole of anyone he started to aimlessly walk around, the crowd had thinned out some, so he started in that direction.

His gaze was to the sky, night had stalled, but the stars were hidden by light pollution, yet the air felt clear adn refreshing to Choso. He felt far enough away from everyone that he was a able to have a smoke, secluding himself against a larger tree. He felt his shoulders and neck start to relax as the nicotine worked through his system, feeling a little lightheaded he leaned his head back and let out a deep sigh; unaware of the person sitting not five feet from him.

“Can I bum one of those?” The voice was quiet and a little horse, but recognized it instantly.

“Y/n.” Choso was suprised he rushed to sit next to her, she was still on that same stone bench, having lost all track of time. “I-Are you okay?” He wasn’t sure what to say, unsure what happened at all.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” Y/n answered in that pseudo confidence one has after hours of crying. Choso didn’t really believe it, but didn’t feel right in pushing her to open up in that moment. “I was serious though, I don’t have anymore.” Y/n stated before Choso could ask anything. She was eyeing his cigarette then motioned to the trash can ashtray; it was empty aside from the meny Y/n went through during her time alone. Choso eye’s went side, he knitted his brows together at Y/n.

“Stress smoker? Wouldn’t have pegged that about you.” He observed still eyeing Y/n, he held the cigarette between his lips, only half hiding a teasing smirk. He got the response he’d hoped for, Y/n blushing while averting her eyes, mumbaling about him being a know-it-all. “I think you should cool it a little.” He started, Y/n snapped her gaze back to him, prepaired to pout, but Choso stopped her. “But- well- here.” He stuttered, handing her his cigarette, “Just smoke that and call it good. Okay?” Y/n gladly accepted the compromise. After a moment of silence Choso asked, “Did the boys come find you?”

Y/n nodded, “Yeah they did. They’re looking for the others, and I’m guessing you too.” Y/n glanced behind them, seeing the close to empty school grounds sprawling out.

Choso sighed out, “Yeah probably. Doesn’t help that the cell service sucks ass here.” Y/n laughed at his remark, it made Choso smile, knwoing he could make her smile even in the dower moments. Y/n smothered the cigarette in the sand while she stood from the bench, both her knees uncomfortably popped, Choso winced at the loudness of it. “Haven’t stood in a while huh?” He asked jokingly. Y/n stuck her tongue out at him in response.

—

The two started to walk towards the parking lot, both had their phones out waiting for any bars to appear. But they didn’t need it, running into Megumi and Yuta who wee on the phone with Yuji and Sukuna.

“Well I just spotted them.” Yuta spoke plainly as the two walked up to them. Choso furrowed his brows at the lanky brunette, Yuta held up a finger, sarcastically telling them to hold on with a single gesture.

From the other side of the call everyone could hear Yuji shout, “Where? Can you stop them!?” His voice was shrill.

Yuta deadpan turned to Choso and Y/n with his hand still up said, “Wait, no, stop.” His voice perfectly monotoned. It caused Y/n to giggle, Choso rolled his eyes and Megumi let out a dry chuckle. Yuji and most likely Sukuna did not find it amusing.

“Where are you?” Sukuna’s voice came through the phone next. Yuta was about to answer but was abruptly stopped by Y/n, she gestured to hand his phone over. He did so without question.

“Will you two calm down?” Y/n asked first dramatically, her tone showing no sign of the stress she felt earlier. “We’re at the parking lot.” She stated matter-of-factly. The three boys couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation anymore, only able to mentally guess what the twins were saying. “Yeah we’ll wait.” Y/n glanced to her side at the three, who were making the facile expression equivalent of a sigh. “Okay. Yeah. Alright. Bye.” Y/n gave Yuta his phone back afte rending the call. “They’re on their way.”

It didn’t take long for the twins to meet up with the small group. They both had been running around, obvious by their disheveled attire and ragged breathing. Yuta couldn’t help but comment.

“I thought you’re a firemen, where’s that stamina?” He asked jokingly at Yuji. He smiled despite his heavy breaths.

“Shut it Okkotsu.” Yuji shot back. The group laughed at he small exchange. They were all started to head towards their cars, Y/n assumed she’d ride with the twins so she she shift to walk between them.

“So…” Megumi began, gaining everyone’s attention. “Not a house warming party?” He asked, looking at Y/n from his peripheral.

“That’s right.” Yuta said, replying as if everyone present has been apart of their separate past conversation.

Y/n answered first by nodding, she assumed Yuji has told them about it. “Yeah, but not really a house warming, but defiantly a party. But ya know just close friends.” Y/n attempted to explain her idea better, but it came out more vague then anything.

Sukuna laughed, “It’ll be great.” He said while wrapping his arm around Y/n’s shoulder.

The group split up after that, the twins taking Y/n back to her apartment, saying meny apologise before finally parting ways, though Y/n reassured them. It didn’t take her long to get ready and into bed, she was laying there for a bit thought, thinking about the day, school and her hopeful party; when her phone vibrated on her nightstand.

It was a text from Choso. “I’m sorry about today, I don’t know what happened, but I hope you’re okay. I hope you get some rest tongight. Goodnight Y/n.” Not seconds later while Y/n was reading, another text came in, this time a picture, a meme. A classic that made her laugh.

Smiling to herself Y/n responded. “Thank you. Sweet dreams Choso.” Y/n tucked her phone under her pillow, cuddled up under her blanket and fell a sleep with a small smile on her lips.