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#i made this joke before in the past to myself BUT I FORGOT UNTIL I SAW THIS AGAIN
marshmallowprotection · 10 months
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@creator-kami​ and I made a big discovery last night that cannot be unseen and I can’t believe what I once joked about in my head might actually be true. This isn't the first time that's happened, but if I had to point this out and realize it, you all need to see it, too. So, y'all see the zippers on his sleeves? Yea, it's easy to think that zipper is for the jacket itself, but it's not. Kami cleaned up one of the old promotional art pieces.
Unknown has zippers on his jacket sleeves. His jacket has been a two-in-one this entire time. His jacket can become sleeveless. He's got the ability to not only make that jacket breathable when it's hot, but he chooses not to in the name of the off-the-shoulder style. What am I supposed to do with this information other than share it with all of you so you can be trapped in this moment with me?
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reiderwriter · 5 months
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can i request for a mean!spencer x bau!reader? like they are not enemies but there's just this really intense sexual tension with prompts 2, 30, 48, and 49? thank you!
#2 "I wouldn't fuck you if you were the last person on earth.” #30 "You're not as hot as you think you are.” #48 "You belonged to me before I even made you mine.” #49 "I'm so fucking obsessed with you.”
A/N: Thank you for requesting! Sorry it took almost an entire season to get it done 😭 I hope it's as good as you expected it would be :D
Warnings: slight BDSM themes, Dom!Spencer, dry humping, choking, thigh riding, finger sucking, cum play, facial, penetrative sex, use of contraception, probably more that I don't remember right now... 18+ Minors DNI
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There was no one you wanted to spend the night with less than Spencer Reid.
He was annoying, and frustrating and most importantly never knew when to shut the fuck up.
No one was better at getting under your skin, and no one seemed to relish it quite like he did. It wasn't that you hated the man, just that he had the presence of an unkillable mosquito in your life.
He was irritating.
“Y/N, are you even listening to me?”
“I try not to make a habit of it,” you rolled your eyes, pushing past the man as you both finally made it to your motel room for the night.
You weren't sure if this was divine punishment or Emily's idea of a joke, but you'd ended up with Reid as your roomie for the next week.
As your case location was remote and as back waters as it could get, you'd ended up needing to bring Penelope Garcia along with you physically. And with only four rooms available, the eight members of your team had to all scramble for acceptable roommates and, having gotten off the jet last, you'd drawn the short straw.
Rossi had been quick to pair up with Luke, citing Spencer's snoring habit as reason enough, and the girls had happily fallen into two pairs. It was your lucky day.
With your hands busy with your bags, you tossed the key to Spencer quickly and waited for him to unlock the door, eager to escape the cold chill of the night.
“Hurry up, Spencer, or we'll both turn into popsicles out here.”
“Not only is that physically impossible, but it also isn't that cold out here, Y/N. Don't you think you're being a bit sensitive.”
You stuck your tongue out at him and he let out a sharp chuckle as he finally managed to unlock the door.
Despite your best wishes, stepping over the threshold didn't solve your problems. Instead it seemed to present even more.
“Fuck, how is it colder in here than it is out there?” You said, shivering violently as you stood in the doorway. If you thought that was reason enough to cure though, you thought you'd practically spit fire when you saw the sleeping arrangements for the night.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Your body forgot its fight to keep warm, letting your blood run cold as you found yourself face to face with one singular, though large, bed. Another cursory glance around, and the heart motifs on the walls and pink themes cushions on the bed suggested that this was likely the motels joke of a Honeymoon Suite.
“Emily did mention that we booked out their last four rooms.” Spencer said, walking up beside you and frowning deeply as he took in the same scene you did.
“She said nothing about the rooms being igloos though, Spencer. I never thought hypothermia was going to be my cause of death after spending the night with you in the room.”
“You think I'd shoot you.”
“I think I'd shoot myself.”
He scowled a little at that and moved to check the room's thermostat. Although it was presently reading 215° so you didn't know how much good that could do.
“There's no sofa,” you grumbled as you watched Spencer move to the small bathroom.
“And there's no hot water. And according to the sign on that table, there's nothing we can do about it until the morning.” You picked up the sign yourself, just to verify and practically moaned in frustration.
“This is insane, we'll freeze to death.”
“It has to drop below 32° in here for us to even possibly freeze death. There's no wind, rain and we have blankets, so maybe you should focus less on being dramatic and more on what we can be doing to warm up.”
“I'm sorry, Doctor Genius, whatever can I do to warm up? Please impart some of your wonderful knowledge on me, I beg.” His eyes flashed with some annoyance and you quietly enjoyed the expression, happy to have affected him as much as he affected you.
“You can start by stripping.” It was his turn to enjoy the abject look of horror that crossed your face in that moment, and you were convinced that of he let even a hint of a laugh out, you'd throttle the man.
“I'm sure you'd just love that,” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest.
“Well, there's no water, no thermostat and no other source of heat, so if you're so worried about hypothermia, there's only one solution viable to us right now.”
“You're joking. You want us to huddle together for warmth?” You backed yourself into a corner as you tried to distanced yourself from him as he suddenly began divesting himself of clothing.
As soon as he reached the top buttons of his shirt, you let out a quick squeak and turned around.
“Unless you want me to watch you get undressed too, I suggest you hurry up and do it before I get into bed.”
You quietly cursed and started unwrapping each of your layers, fingers fumbling with the cold already seeped into your skin.
“I am not getting naked, Spencer Reid.”
“I didn't ask you to. Just get comfortable.” You turned around to shoot him a glare, but when you noticed his back was turned - and bare - you lost all memory of the purpose of the movement.
You'd never quite realised before how broad his back was. His shoulders looked strong despite his lithe frame, twisting rather attractively as he pulled his nightshirt over his head. You were almost disappointed that he wasn't facing you, suddenly curious about Spencer Reid's happy trail.
You snapped yourself out of it and continued to change, wrapping your coat around your waist to hide your legs as you switched your pants to your sleep shorts. It was an awkward fumble, but at least the lights were low.
When you were finally ready, your steps back to the bed were hurried and near painful as you felt colder than ever.
Spencer was already there, and without a second thought, you pulled the quilts up and plastered yourself to his side. He was the only thing in the entire room offering you a modicum of warmth, and you weren't going to let your personal hot water bottle go just because everything that came out of his mouth was hot air.
“So you're a big fan of this now, huh?” He said, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you in. Your back was pressed against his chest as you both laid on your sides, piles of duvet and blankets laid out on top of you. You hated to admit it, but this position was comfortable.
Maybe it was just months of working cases non-stop and perpetual singleness, but the feeling of a man at your back was infinitely pleasing.
“Don't expect anything more Spencer Reid. I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last man alive.” The words were harsh, and if you were being honest, a little bit untrue. Your small peak at his back earlier had definitely sparked an interest in you that was bubbling up in your throat. Like bile.
“You don't have to worry about that. You're actually not as hot as you think you are.” His words were tinged with the same faux bitterness as yours, but you refused to hear it. Instead all you felt was another unpleasant heat spreading throughout you, quiet anger plotting in your stomach.
You knew you probably shouldn't push it, but you needed Spencer to eat those words. Desperately.
Your mind ticked through a few options before landing on one. If you were so unattractive, then surely there's no way he'd physically react to you.
Scooting your body closer to his, you take advantage of the less than comfortable bed, making each of your movements similar to ones you would make when getting comfortable. Except, of course, with the added bonus of making sure your ass pressed directly up against his crotch, moving up and down and grinding into him.
You felt him slightly stiffen behind you, and decided that a few we'll time groans of frustration could go a long way to spurring him on.
So you began letting little gasps and sighs out, graduating to moans when you thought he wouldn't question it, each small movement rubbing against him deliberately.
What you'd failed to remember though, was his hand on your waist. Although you knew he was awake beside you, despite the now late hour and somewhat comfortable bed, his hand held you firm. Or it did until you risking bounced yourself gently against him, and his now limp hand slipped underneath your shirt.
The moan you released then was genuine, the cool touch of his fingers against your burning skin causing you to flush and shiver at the same time. You cursed your earlier self for valuing your comfort over your general peace of mind, because as Spencer's hand once again settles centimetres away from the edge of your boob, you desperately wished for your bra back.
You stopped moving, hoping that if you just pretended to sleep for a few minutes, his hand would reach higher and he'd prove to you that he did think you were attractive. He didn't though, showing off how gentlemanly he was. It pissed you off. Most of his good qualities pissed you off, and you were sure that said more about you than him .
You tried your best to just give in, to even out your breathing and let the black haze of sleep take over but his hands on you were maddening, and you found your body reacting in much the same ways you'd wished him to react.
It didn't help that he'd casually shifted his lower body away from you slightly in your stillness, letting himself fall onto his back rather than his side. As he made this shift, his hand trailed across the expanse of your body before cutting all contact with you altogether.
So much for huddling for warmth if all he had to do to return you to record heats was stroke you like that.
You needed to feel him again, so, feigning the most realistic sleeplike movements you could muster, you turned your body in his direction, and placed your head over his chest. You weren't finished, just proceeding with caution. Your hands obviously fell over his chest, if slightly lower than you'd expect.
It was only when your leg finally came up over his that he broke his silence.
“I know you're awake, Y/N,” he whispered in your ear, a solid hand on your thigh holding it down right over his crotch. You felt your prize and grinned in your sleep.
He was hard. You'd won. It was time to play.
You opened your mouth to purr victoriously at him, but he moved so abruptly you were never expecting it.
Shifting his hands to your ass, he hauled your body over him, letting his hands stay on your hips as he began to help you shift them back and forth. You moaned at the friction, even as your head stayed rested on his chest. The movements were shallow, just a teasing but you already felt more aroused than you had in months. Slowly, your hips started moving for themselves and his hands moved onto more important things.
“Am I suddenly the last man on Earth, Y/N?” He smiled, tipping your head up so you could make eye contact with him.
“Go to hell.”
“I think we're already there, don't you?” With that, his large hands sat you up, meeting with no resistance as you let yourself become pliable.
“Show me.” He whispered, hands right on your hips, pushing into your flesh just a touch part forceful.
“Show you what?” You narrowed your eyes, but you knew exactly what it was he wanted and that you weren't going to out up much a resistance before giving it to him.
“Show me how much you want to fuck me. Since your mouth isn't honest, I'm going to have to listen to your body.” You let your hands fall to his chest, pushing lower until you reached the hem of his shirt. He'd pushed the quilts off of your torso, letting the cold air attack your upper body, so you knew your hands were cold, and the hiss he let out at the contact was satisfying enough to shut up and actually start following his directions.
You shifted your body up and down, grinding and dry humping his crotch, wishing for him to stop being a tease and just get it over with.
He wasn't letting you compromise, though. Each small sound that left your body met with a soft smirk from him, each halt in your movements a prod from his hands. You'd tried to still your hips entirely once out of frustration, but he'd delivered a slap to your ass that had you gushing, desperate to reach a release even if he'd only allow you it this way.
“I don't think you're trying hard enough.” His voice was lower than before, something gravelly to it as he began pulling your clothing off one item at a time. Your sweater went first, before he flipped your positions and shimmered your shorts off your body, taking underwear soon after and then you were bare to him and he was rolling you once again.
“That's better. Now, where were we?” He moved your hips for you again, but his eyes stayed focused in the rigid peaks of your nipples, bouncing with each rock of your hips. You weren't sure if it was the cold temperature of the room or your sheer need to cum that had them reacting, but you knew he was seconds away from wrapping his tongue around one and giving into you, so you just accepted it.
His hands stayed put, still on your hips, though the direct contact was heating you slightly more. If you looked down, you were sure you'd see a wet patch against his sweat pants, so you didn't.
You just moaned and whimpered searching for your orgasm on top of him.
“What's wrong, Y/N? Do you need my help to finish?” He noticed your every insecurity, your weakness and exploited it. You were running close to inconsolable, desperate to hit that climax now, more than ever before, so you just nodded at him profusely, desperate for him to touch you in whatever way he could.
It wasn't his hand you felt on your clit, though. It was your own, he wrapped a hand around your fingers and bought them up to the correct stop, showing you exactly what he'd like to see.
“Touch yourself, Y/N. Touch yourself and wish it was me.” With the friction from grinding against him for so long, the satisfaction from the rigid tent underneath you and your hands taking his guidance, it was really not long before your pussy finally twitched familiarly and sighed, soaking his pants underneath you as you shuddered in delight.
He had to ruin your moment of bliss by talking.
“Is that enough, slut? Or do you really need to be filled right now?”
You didn't care if he saw you sticking your tongue down his throat as you collapsed on top of his chest as an answer to that question, or if he saw it as what it was - a desperate attempt to shut him up. All you knew was that he tasted sweet and hot, and that his hand wrapped around your throat was also hot as he pulled you up and off of him.
“Let me be clear. I am in charge.” A simple shift of his legs was enough to flip your positions, landing on top of you ungrateful, but you didn't care.
Using his new high ground, he wedged your legs open and slid a single finger inside you as you moaned. He too found success in silencing you by sticking his tongue down your throat, forcing you to battle him for dominance you knew he'd never allow you.
Having cum only moments before, you truly believed that there was no way he was going to push another one out of you after so little time. The night was full of surprises though.
As you relaxed into his intrusion, he opened you up with a second finger, then a third. You already felt yourself building towards your end goal, but it was his head dropping to tour cold nipples that finally had you cumming around his fingers. His mouth was wet, tongue warm against your skin, and he toyed with you so effectively, you practically forgot your previous qualms.
“See? You belong to me before I've even made you mine.” It irked you that he was right. Had this been any other man, you're sure you'd be bragging about such passionate sex for weeks with your friends. You were resentful that it was him, but you didn't want it to end yet.
Your arms pulled up to hide your face as he traced kisses up and down your chest, fingers coming free to pay attention to your since abandoned nipples.
“I can't wait to fuck you. You're going to feel so good wrapped around my cock,” he whispered into your ear as he pulled your arms away from your face, making sure your eyes were focused on him before his next line.
“You have no clue what you started. I'm so fucking obsessed with you.”
His hands fell to your face, where his thumb pushed against your lips, slipping into your mouth where you sucked on it, getting it wet as his cock teased the folds of your pussy, running up and down with each gentle push of his hips. You entertained him for a moment before pushing up slightly, his thumb falling from your mouth as you blindly reached for the bedside table. Pulling it open, you were relieved to find what you were looking for.
“If you're so fucking obsessed with me, Spencer, show me.” Carefully unwrapping the package, you grabbed his dick and gently slid the condom onto him, making sure it was secure before you propped yourself back on the pillows, waiting for him to initiate once again.
“Pillow princess. You're acting like I haven't been dreaming of exactly this for the last 12 months.”
You couldn't waste time processing those words before he again ran his cock through the folds of your pussy, then sank himself deep inside you. And you meant deep.
The sudden impact robbed you of your thoughts, pushing out every miserable thought and leaving you with just Spencer and pleasure. The two concepts soon became synonymous as his hips lazily sent him careening in and out of you.
His strokes gained speed gradually until the only words shared between you were the animalistic pants of pleasure, his voice driving you insane as you tried not to get overstimulated before you could cum for a third time.
“Shit, shit, shit, shit, Spencer-” your moans turned to screams as your orgasm rolled over you, his dick hitting just the right spot inside you that forced your nails to bite his skin, and forced your voice to scratch at your throat as it pushed up from your gut.
Noticing your relentless twitching, Spencer immediately pulled out of your cunt, allowing you a moment of reprieve. Pushing up to his knees, he moved to your side, his crotch parallel with your face as he rolled the condom off his dick.
Stroking himself to completion, he came right over your lips, your eyes dripping with lust as you licked them clean, catching the dribbles that fell down your chin with your fingers and popping them into your mouth as well.
After your whorish display of desperation, it took a full ten minutes for your brain function to resume.
In that time, Spencer had cleaned both of you up speedily with a hotel towel, wrapped an arm around you and began spooning you once again, his chest warm and comfortable against your back, his scent intoxicating.
It didn't stop being so when you finally came down from your post-cum bliss.
“You're not allowed to tell anyone what happened tonight,” you said, turning over to look him in the eye.
“Nothing from tonight, got it. What about tomorrow?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, am I allowed to tell them how I plan to wake you up tomorrow, and how your current state of dress made it possible, if not directly invited it?”
You flushed at his words, tingling already at the mention of tomorrow.
“We're sharing a room, Y/N. If you think I'm not going to be inside you whenever were both free, you're entirely mistaken.” His voice was clear - not even a hint of hesitancy in his voice.
“I'm not letting you go that easily, Y/N.”
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Am I the asshole for intentionally starting a fight with a friend of mine so that I can show everyone else how much of an attention seeking bitch she is
My (16 f) friend group is collectively obsessed with playing an obscure online game together, and in order to make it more convenient they made a group chat which they forgot to add me into. I heard about it from a friend who assumed that I was in it and asked to be a part of it because I liked the game as well, she told me she would add me. Later that week I was on a FaceTime call with some of my friends and the group chat was referenced by someone so I pointed out that I still hadn’t been added. The next day I was finally added and everything was normal until my friend (15 f) lets call her Jane said something along the lines of “why is she here” then immediately took me out of the group chat. I couldn’t get in contact with her as she had blocked me so I called my other friend (15 f) lets call her B who was still in the group chat and asked her what was happening. Jane said that she removed me because I kept saying I hated her this was an inside joke that she would participate in and found funny, it was very over the top and obviously a joke and she had never said anything to me about being uncomfortable. B explained this but she wouldn’t listen and kept telling everyone in the group chat lies about how I was a horrible person and that I essentially relentlessly bullied her. I was eventually added back and started to tell everyone that this was a lie, a bunch of people started to take her side, and I got pretty pissed off because no one was listening to me. I started cussing her out and calling her a bitch (she is) and it started getting out of hand because, one everyone was already on her side, and two my phone was pretty broken at that time so their was a lot of miscommunication between me and the group chat. for example one of my friends kept shoving themselves into the argument and not listening to anything I say, so I told her to shut the fuck up and stay out of things she didn’t understand, unfortunately as that text was sending another friend, K asked what was happening and that text sent first so I looked like I had cussed her out for asking a question, before I could explain this I was kicked from the groupchat, I tried to call K but she didn’t answer me and ignored me when I tried to explain myself through text. The next day pretty much the whole friend group was giving me the cold shoulder and not speaking to me, for most people this went away the day after but one of my friends hasn’t looked at me the same since.
We had managed to mainly move past this whole thing until Jane was complaining in a group chat about our chorus teacher (who I love) and I asked her (politely) to stop being negative and not to vent in the group chats. She started going at me and saying how I always start drama and am horrible to her. She brought up the last fight we had had which I thought was really uncalled for and she made it into this whole thing.
She kept constantly causing drama in group chats and getting into fights with people for stupid reasons almost every night. I was tired of people defending her and her constantly trying to turn our friends against me and since some people where already getting annoyed with her I decided to start a fight with her so people would stop talking to her giving her less of a chance to try to ruin my life.
She loved making friend group cast list for random musicals and such that she liked and always put herself as the lead and gave people parts that made them uncomfortable (miss gendering them, giving bigger people fat characters regardless of their personality etc). She had made a mean girls recast where she was Regina (she’s a bitch but she’s not Regina) even though it was a common joke in the friend group that me and two of our friends were the plastics with me as Regina. I had been told by my other friend, L not to bring this up because l, k, and Jane had all recently auditioned for mean girls the musical and only L got in (I would normally listen to this but she wouldn’t let L be happy about getting in and constantly guilt tripped her about it). So naturally I brought it up and got her to start fighting about it, I wanted to have a fight with her were I was more in control of the situation then she was (in earlier fights she would say things she knew would make me mad to get people to see me as in the wrong for being the unreasonable and angry one while she was calm). I kept bringing up that I should be Regina because I am the friend groups resident lesbian in a kind off joking way that I know can really get under peoples skin (I know that this is manipulative but she was manipulating me to get mad and act unreasonable so I decided to do the same and give her a taste of her own medicine) especially since she was the kind off person isn’t exactly homophobic but makes me and some of our other queer friends really uncomfortable with her jokes. She brought up that she had had a crush on a girl once (she had brought this up before as being a joke) to try to make herself out to be queer to win the argument. This made me uncomfortable and when I (and some of my other queer friends) tried to tell her that she just ignored me. I just want to say that I don’t actaully care this much about being Regina I just wanted everyone to see how horrible and attention seeking she is.
Personally I think I am kind of the asshole in a Justified way (I forget what that’s called) but I’m not sure
What are these acronyms?
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thesupreme316 · 2 years
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Let’s Make a Bet (Part 2) Hook x Fem!Reader
Genre: Fluff, another failed attempt at comedy
Summary: You and Hook go your first date and things transpire…
Word Count: 1793 (my google docs was 3 and a half pages)
Supreme Speaks: I’m so sorry for going M.I.A, my life has been hell for the past week or so. But I is back and on my ish! Also, here, Snoop is also called Calvin as that’s his real name. I forgot to even put that in part one…my bad.  Thanks again to @triscillal​ for giving me ideas and requesting this miniseries!
Warnings: none really...This part has a lot more dialogue than the first, “mature language”, i tried to proofread it
Link to Let’s Make a Bet (Part 1)
Taglist (dm if you want to be added/removed): @triscillal @taymelos@wwenhlimagines @sheinthatfandom
A week after your championship win, you were at home, happily singing to the music in the background as you were doing your hair and makeup. You couldn't help but feel this way as you were finally going on a date with the man you’ve been crushing on, Tyler. 
Even the memory of him asking you out made you smile in the mirror. Yet it made you so nervous.
You spent the last hour trying to figure out what you should wear, at least making 13 outfit changes. That was until Mercedes told you to do your hair and makeup while she gets your outfit ready.
Even though you and Mercedes were cousins, you treated each other more like sisters. You were constantly over at each other’s houses, on the phone for hours, sometimes speaking with no words exchanged, sharing clothes, etc. So you trusted her with your wardrobe. 
“Okay, I found the perfect outfit!” Mercedes said from your bedroom.
“Remember; he said to be casual!” You yelled back in response. You peeked from the bathroom to see Mercedes proudly showing off her creation to you and her phone: jeans with a sexy top that complimented your skin tone. “It’s the perfect blend of sensual and casual.”
“I like it ‘lil cousin. It shows enough skin for that dude to be all on you.” Your other cousin said over the phone.
You couldn’t see being close to anybody else like you were with Mercedes, except your other cousin, Calvin, aka Snoop Dogg. Calvin was like your big brother who always had your back no matter what. You got away with a lot of stuff as a teenager because of him. 
After finishing your hair, you walked into your bedroom to Mercedes pushing the outfit towards your body. “Why is he muffled?”
“He’s eating that cake you left at your celebration party.”
You marched over to the phone, seeing him taking another slice of the cake. “Martha made that for me!”
“I know and it’s so good.” He said as he took another bite.
You rolled your eyes as you heard a sound from your front yard. Looking over with wide eyes, you saw Tyler get out of the car and start making his way up to the door with items in his hands. 
“He’s here!”
“I know, and you still have your pajamas on,” Mercedes said while looking at your current state. You groaned while grabbing the clothes and running back to the bathroom. “Hey, he hasn’t knocked yet so he’s probably nervous too!”
Yes. Yes, he was. He was probably even more nervous than you were. 
On his way over to your house, and as he was walking up to the door, he was on the phone with Ricky Starks, trying to calm down
“Dude, it’s gonna go great. You look good.” Tyler looked down at his polo shirt and jeans outfit as Ricky continued. “All I’m saying is don’t mess it up, do you know how many people are waiting for her? Myself included.” 
“Thanks, you’re such a great wingman,” Tyler said sarcastically
Ricky laughed, “I’m joking man… kind of. I heard she’s been waiting for you to ask her out.”
“Really?”
“Tyler, if you could have seen the way she would look up at you, you would have asked her out sooner. Anyways, get off the phone with me and go on your damn date!” Ricky said before he hung up.
Tyler sighed, putting his phone away. He took a deep breath before knocking on the door, making you gasp as you were putting on your shoes.
“Don’t worry, I’m gonna get the door.” Mercedes said as she was walking downstairs. She opened the door to Tyler fixing his fluffy hair. “So, you’re the cold-hearted and handsome devil everyone is talking about?” Mercedes smirked.
“I guess that would be me,” Tyler said.
“Hook! My main man!” Calvin said from the phone while munching on some cake. 
Mercedes invited Tyler inside and explained that you were still getting ready for the date. When he sat down, she immediately started to ask him questions like she was in a sitcom
Part of her did it to break the ice, the other part of her did it to make sure that Tyler was a good match for you. Again, Mercedes has always treated you like a little sister, so she’s very protective about who you invited into your life. 
Just as she was about to ask Tyler her 20th question, you made your way downstairs and stopping both of them mid-sentence
Tyler stood in awe of your appearance, having a dumbstruck smile on his face and instantly feeling butterflies. He felt lucky just by being in your presence and seeing your beauty this close. Likewise, you started blushing as you took in his image.
“You look amazing.” He said while giving you a bouquet of your favorite flowers.
“Thank you, you look very handsome.” You smiled
“Alright, alright, you high school lovebirds,” Mercedes said interrupting the lovey-dovey atmosphere. She ushered you two out of the front door, “Go on your date and enjoy each other. And Tyler, if I find out anything, I’ll beat your ass.” She said with a smile
“Mercedes-” You started before she cut you off
“I’m gonna clean up and be gone before you get back. Enjoy each other and have fun.”
And that’s exactly what you and Tyler did
Tyler decided to take you to Quincy Market for a lunch date and shopping. You tried different foods together and impressed each other with how much you could eat within one sitting, you even shared food. 
Even though it was your first date, you two already felt like an established couple with Tyler holding your waist from behind, the constant hand-holding and cheek kissing, cuddling while walking, etc.
Afterward, Tyler took you to the park for a walk and stargazing where you talked about everything and nothing; goals, dreams, and debates about random topics. 
Despite it being a simple and lowkey date idea, you two had fun getting to know each other on a deeper level. And it all led up to Tyler asking you for another date to which you answered by capturing his lips in a soft yet passionate kiss
That was three weeks ago…
Now you are backstage at Rampage, sitting on top of a crate, wearing an oversized hoodie while talking to Tyler about your match with Kiera Hogan
“I just don’t like how Kiera talked about Mercedes. And to be hone- Tyler, are you listening?” You looked over at the 6-foot man just staring at you with nothing but admiration in his eyes.
He blinked a few times before responding, “Sorry, I was too busy staring at my girlfriend to listen.” 
Yeah, that’s right 
You two became official after the third date. However, not many people, outside of close friends and family, know because you both like to keep your lives private. To everyone else, you two are still very close friends.
“What was my boyfriend thinking about whilst staring?” You questioned with a smile
“How beautiful you look with my clothes on.” He said with a smirk before kissing your forehead. 
And then part of you wondered if people really don’t pay attention because there have been so many signs; you constantly wearing his clothes or even the fact that you two swapped necklaces.
Just like how Tyler has his signature cross necklace, you have a dog tag necklace with your name on it. You swapped necklaces to “carry a piece of each other at all times”
Before you could respond, a stagehand told you that your match was up next. You sighed and took off Tyler’s hoodie before wrapping your title around your shoulder again. “I’ll see you after my match.” You said as you gave him a quick kiss and started to walk away. 
Tyler called out after you, “Your ring gear looks good.” You looked down at your grey and orange gear, a reference to his signature colors and gear. You winked at him before going to the entrance tunnel
Your match was going on great and after about 5 minutes, you made Kiera tap out with your finishing submission
As you were celebrating, the crowd’s cheers quickly turned into boos as you were surrounded by two people; Sonny Kiss and Ari Daivari, members of the Trustbusters. 
Who also happens to be feuding with Tyler for the past couple of weeks. They either found out that you were dating Tyler and wanted to intimidate him or just want to attack you for bragging rights
Either way, you weren’t gonna take it
They were on the apron of the ring, staring at you with smirks and malice in their eyes. You dropped your title to the mat and yelled at them to step in the ring. As they went through the ropes, the lights went dim and the sound of your boyfriend’s sweet entrance music filled the arena.
The crowd roared with cheers and went crazy as Tyler was walking swiftly to ring. He dropped his title on the apron before jumping over the ropes and clotheslining Ari, while you jumped on Sonny. 
After throwing punches, kicks, and doing a couple of suplexes, you set Sonny up for what Tyler and the audience thought was your signature submission. However, you smiled at your partner before putting Sonny in Tyler’s signature, Redrum; making the crowd chant your name.
Chuckling, Tyler grabbed Ari and quickly put him in your signature submission as the crowd grew with excitement and disbelief. You two held on while the Trustbusters were tapping and trying to get out of the holds
After a couple of moments, you both let them go and watch them roll out the ring, spewing insults at you two. Waving them off, you turned to Tyler and jumped in his arms with a smile, to which he immediately wrapped his arms around you, with the audience’s cheers becoming background noise.
You didn’t mean to, but you couldn’t help yourself as you were just happy to share the ring with him and that he came out to defend you.
Putting you down softly, together you raised your titles in the air while looking at the intimidated team
While leaving the ring, Tyler leaned down to your ear and whispered, “I bet we can beat them in 5 minutes.”
You giggled and responded, “I say 3 minutes.”
“Oh, you are so on.” He said walking up the ramp with his hand interlocking with yours, ignoring everyone and everything else.
By the time Rampage went off the air, you and Tyler were trending
Not only because of your segment
But because your relationship was also officially announced
119 notes · View notes
equallyshaw · 2 years
Text
remember me- trevor zegras imagine.
Warnings: none.
Word Count: 1.8k+
I couldn't believe that they had remembered me. Quiet, book lover and sarcastic brunette who unfortunlty (at times) lived next to the Hughes Brother growing up in Canton. I am gonna be honest, I never really knew them. Seeing as they played hockey all day everyday, went to the public highschool while I went to private and played volleyball. Total opposities.Which meant I never met any of there friends, which I was more than thankful for. Those three by themselves during the summertime hanging out by there pool, always distracted me from my pool reading sessions. Which usually led to me going inside frustrated. Not that I didn't mind them, it's just I knew for a fucking fact, that I would never introduce myself first. It just wasn't who I am. So I spent the better part of three years watching them go in and out, or trying to kill one another during street hockey.
It wasn't until the summer going into my senior year of college at USC, that there was an oppurtunity to speak to them. I had 3 girls fly out to see me from school, to spend a week with me. Seeing as it was our final season together, we wanted to make the most of our time together. We never knew when or if we would ever play together but simply, be able to hang out with one another without any big pritiroties. We were walking outside towards my car, heading into Detroit to eat and shop. Again, I have barely spoke five words to any of these dudes over the years and I was for sure not going to change that. The three brothers walk out with maybe 5 or 6 other dudes, who honestly look like a copy and past of one another. "Abbs!" Jessica called for me, as I neared the end of my driveway. "Are we going to the one on the border?" She questioned and I nodded, unlocking the car. I could feel the guys watching us as we made our way out for the evening. In our short but tasteful dresses, and you can maybe throw in some heels and some nice handbags. We had buisness to attend to in the name of seafood. "Dude look at Paxton." Morgan said laughing as we all looked towards my childhood dog, watching out the front door with my mom behind him. I smiled, hopping in the car and turning it on. "Dude, who are those people?? And why are they so damn hot??" Frankie questioned from beside me, almost drulling. I gave her a side eye, turning up the ac. "Man, I wish I saw them the way you did. Maybe I would of said hi one time." I mused, making sure everybody was buckled before I took off. "Wait what?" Frankie screamed, alerting the group outside. "Dude, shut your door!" Jessica laughed. I rolled my eyes and drove past the group, turning out of the subdivision. "Youre telling me, that after four years almost, you havent said jack shit? Oh my god- that's chaning this week." Frankie demanded and I shook my head. "They'll probably be at there lake house in new hampshire honestly. That's all I know though." I responded and so it began, the three girls that I call my bestfriends, plotting to set me up with one of them. And honestly, themselves. "Nothing serious Abbs, we promise." Morgan smirked from the backseat. I rolled my eyes, preparing myself for what they had to say at dinner.
We came back around 11 oclock, after much needed seafood and frozen yogurt. "Let's go get some drinks and sit around the pool?" Frankie asked us and we all nodded. They all grabbed some drinks, as I cleaned up the outside. We all sat down and took in the peaceful, not too hot not too cold night. "I can't believe we've made it." I stated, looking up at the sky. "Me either. I for sure thought you would of been long gone after year 1!" Morgan joked, causing us all to laugh. I playfully slapped her leg, shaking my head. "Ill be right back, I totally forgot what I had in my back trunk." I said jumping up and jogging out towards my front yard. I can't believe, I forgot about it. I smiled, opening my trunk and pulling out our team usa ball from worlds last year. We had somehow made the team and well, that was for sure the highlight of our career. I shut the trunk as a car rounded the culdesac, and I turned to look and saw that it was the Hughes car. I made my way to my front seat to stall, and they got out, hollering like there was no tomorrow. I internally cringed and made sure I had what I needed, before shutting my door- maybe a little too hard. Four of the boys including I think Jack all look towards me, and I froze before walking back up my driveway. "OH MY GOD NO WAY!!!!!" Jessica said running out to meet me, and freaked as soon as she saw the ball. "Holy crap! Is that it??" She questioned taking it from me and began to hit it on the ground like you do before serving. I giggled, nodding as the rest of the girls came out. "2 on 2, lets go Abbs." Frankie said pulling me with her, and we all made our way out to the street for a little 2 on 2 drunk game. Well, tipsy but soon to be drunk. I turned to look over at the dudes who were very interested in the game at hand, and I sighed getting into position. "No funny buisness, this is real shit." Morgan demanded causing Frankie and I to burst out laughing, probbaly not as funny as we thought it was due to our intoxicated state. "Lest we forget, punctality and the art of competativness." I mused as Jessica hit the ball to me and I set it up for Frankie who then hit it back to me and I hit it back over, keeping my spike for later. It was five minutes later when Morgan spoke up, causing me to grow with butterlies. "Hey boys, instead of watching - you should just come join us. It'll be more fun." She said placing a hand on her hip and smiling her charming smile towards the group of 8 dudes. "OH its on!" One of the yelled, causing us to laugh. I stayed with Frankie as they broke up into our two teams. "Abby right?" One of the brunettes questioned and I nodded, looking over towards him. "Yeah, and you?" I questioned. "After spending countless nights over here- you still don't know who I am?" He said, a smirk toying at his face. I shrugged, "I know you aren't a Hughes." I said matter of factly and he laughed. His eyes crinkling in delight, flashing a smile. "No, but Im Trevor." He smiled and I nodded. "Stand here." I said pushing him into a spot and he obeyed, giving me a tiny salute. I rolled my eyes playfully, and looked towards Jack who was on my team. "Please tell me you know a thing or two?" I sarcastically asked. "Obviously! Don't think we didn't see you outside for hours doing the same thing over. and over. and over. again." He said dramatically, and I playfully pushed him. "Ok.Ok. Just stand here." I said planting him in position. I later came to find out that Alex Turcotte and Cole Coulfield on my team where Morgan and Jessica had Quinn, Luke, somebody named Brendan Brisson and Thomas Bordealou. Brendan wasn't half bad for a recreational beach player. Which Morgan made sure to pound into him, just because. We played for around an hour, basking in the almost child like aura that filled the air. We were 4-4, so whoever won this game, won the whole thing. "Jack!" I screamed, alerting the boy to hit it. I set it up after he hit it to me, then I placed it towards Frankie who did a semi-jump spike, which in turn couldn't be picked up. Meaning, we had just won the game! "YES!" Frankie and I screamed at one another, running into eachothers arms playfully. We parted as we went to go fist pump with the boys, which wasn't enough for Trevor. No, he picked me up from my backside and spun me around. "Let's goooooooo!" Jack screamed, rubbing it in the other team's faces. "COME ON BEACH!" Morgan screamed at Brendan, causing the other guys on the team to laugh. She always had a thing against beach players, and she made it known always. Trevor set me down, and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "Celebratory drinks at Sinclaires house!!!" Jack announced, and I looked at him with playful surprise. "How dare you you!?" I playfully questioned, before he looked at Trevor. The groups settled down, and we made our way towards my backyards. Well, I thought I was. No. Trevor picked me up, and ran with me towards the backyard. Brendan had the same idea with Morgan, and so everybody took off running towards the pool. "NO NO TREVOR!" I Screamed as he jumped with both of us going in. We hit the water, and quickly swam up to the surface as everybody jumped in. Trevor popped up and I swam towards him to dunk him in. His hands found my waist as I did so, sending a shock of nerves through my system. "RUDE!" I said splashing him playfully, causing him to laugh. A little while later, we all sat around the firepit, the boys had started in my backyard. We all shared stories about the sport we loved to play, funny stories from the USNDP while I lived oblivious next store. Trevor and I sat close together, so close I could feel the body heat he was radiating. Unbeknowst to me, he wanted to be even closer. Not gonna lie he was attractice, but seemed to much of a pretty boy for me. Like, there was some ulterior motive. I smiled softly, looking down at my hands just listening to the group talk back and fourth. "You good?" I heard in my ear, and I nodded, slowly turning towards Trevor. He smiled down at me, almost begging me to shift closer to him. His arm found it's way around my shoulder as I did so. "Please tell me this is where you ask me for my number." I said with a sly grin. The ever existing smile grew wider, as I saw his cheeks flush. He nodded, "Been wanting yours since the 11th grade." He mused causing me to giggle. "Well, im glad you rememeberd me- Mr.Zegras." I smirked, his not understanding how I knew his name.
just a short, cute imagine! please like and reblog-- if you enjoyed :)
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emilykat-artblog18 · 9 months
Text
The Other Port
(chapter 2)
.:: The Black Cat of The Port ::.
As both Ten Cents and Sunshine were heading to the cafeteria, many questions lingered in Ten Cents’ mind like a low mist on the horizon, “Who made those dolls? What is the key for? And why were they inside the storage room?”
“Ten Cents, Ten Cents!” Sunshine grabbed Ten Cents’ shoulder, snapping him out of his trance as he nearly walked into me.
“Oh, sorry about that, Captain Starr sir” Ten Cents said embarrassedly while Sunshine held the dolls tightly behind his back.
“It’s ok Ten Cents, I take it you both finished cleaning out the storage room?”
“Yes Sir, We were just on our way to the cafeteria.” Ten Cents nodded,
“Good, may I have the keys back?” I held out my hand, “Oh right! I almost forgot about them.” Ten Cents searched in his pockets
“Here you go sir,”
“Thank you,” I turned my gaze towards Sunshine.
“Anything you want to report to me as well, Sunshine?”
“Me? Uh no sir. Nothing to report”
I was feeling tired myself, so I didn’t bother asking anything else and let the two on their way, “Have a good night you two.”
“You too, sir” Ten Cents and Sunshine chimed together as I walked away, Ten Cents let out a sigh of relief, “Well that was almost too close for comfort,”
“You’re telling me,” shrugged Sunshine.
“Let’s just get something to eat and then hit the sack, ay?”
“I just hope someone got us good food this time.” Sunshine grumbled.
When they entered the cafeteria, they saw Big Mac, O.J., and Top Hat sitting at one of the tables chatting amongst each other about their day. O.J. turned and noticed Ten Cents and Sunshine.
“Welcome back lads. I hope you both aren't burnt out from your last job.”
“Meh, it was just storage cleaning. Nothing that we couldn’t handle.”
“Did ye find anything interesting in that old room?” Big Mac asked
“Well actually there is.” Sunshine soon reveals in his hands, the button-eyed dolls.
“What is that?” O.J. asks, having to look closer at the dirty dolls.
“And why do they look exactly like both of ye.” added Big Mac.
“That’s what we’ve been wondering too when we found them. Do you know who made them?”
“How should we know about some filthy old ragdolls from the garbage?” Top Hat remarked.
“Oh like how your head is full of nothing but garbage?” remarked Sunshine, insulted.
The crew all had a hearty chuckle at the joke except for Top Hat who was most offended but couldn’t think of a comeback for he was feeling tired.
“Speaking of garbage, where's Warrior? I thought we saw him walk past with you, Big Mac.” Ten cents asks.
“He already went to sleep. Don’t worry, he showered before then.” answered Big Mac
“Ah well we should go get our meals before-’’
“It’s just rations Ten Cents.” Sunshine groaned,
“What?! Again?”
“Sorry boys, with the constant busy work schedule we have this whole month we don’t have time to make meals so we resorted to using rations and other instant meals. It’s not much but it’s what we’re going to have to work with for now.” O.J. explained feeling sorry for them.
Looking back at the rations, Ten Cents sighed in defeat, “Well then, I guess we’ll just grab some and go back to our bunks…”
And with that, Ten Cents and Sunshine reluctantly grabbed a ration for the both of them and headed back to the barracks. O.J., Big Mac and Top Hat could only watch as they left until O.J. spoke.
“It’ll be alright boys, it won’t be like this forever.” trying his best to give them some hope from the situation but already left out of earshot.
Once at their bunks in their pajamas, the two ate their rations, they were as dry as the sand on the beach and not very appetizing.
“You see what I mean, Ten Cents?”
“About what?”
“About wishing that our current situation was better where we don’t have to work as hard.”
Ten Cents gulps and sets his ration aside. “I get what you mean, I know it’s been hard on all of us and they’re still doing their best, but I won’t lie, I miss when we had decent food and less of a heavy workload to handle.”
“You think that’ll ever happen soon?”
“Probably not for another few more weeks of this.”
Ten Cents looked over to the nightstand next to his and Sunshine’s bunk beds. Sunshine had placed the two old dolls right next to a framed photo of their whole fleet including their captain; When times were better, especially since they took it welcoming their new recruit, one who he was very fond of since they met.
Ten Cents yawned knowing another day of hard work awaited them in the morning. The two said nothing and threw away their rations into a nearby trash bin, and got ready to sleep.
“Tomorrow’s gonna be another busy day huh?” Sunshine yawned as he began to nod off.
“Yeah, another hard day of work...”
Ten Cents answered, shutting off the lights, the room now only being dimly illuminated by the moon outside their window shining down on the dolls. As the two slept however, a black silhouette of a cat overshadowed them and observed them beyond the window.
-
The morning sun shone brightly as Ten Cents, Top Hat, Warrior, Big Mac, Hercules, O.J. and our new recruit, Tillie stood in the employee lounge waiting for me to give them their orders. Everyone except for Sunshine was present in the employee lounge.
Although it seemed all the older workers of my company were focused on getting their schedule for that day. Sunshine was trying to figure out how to bring his doll look alike to work with him that day, once he came up with a solution, he made a dash to the employee lounge.
“I’m so sorry everyone, I… nearly overslept,” lied Sunshine, “I’m not late, am I?”
“Nope you just came just in time, Sunshine.” Ten Cents assured him
“That’s a relief”
“Alright everyone settle down!” my voice rang out through the PA speaker.
“We’ve got a lot of work to do today, a tramp steamer is arriving into the port and we’ll need all hands on deck to dock and unload it. Hercules, you’re in charge of bringing the tramper in, Big Mac, Top Hat and Warrior, you three are to help guide it in,”
“Yes Sir.” Hercules, Big Mac, Top Hat, and Warrior affirmed before proceeding to their respective vessels.
“What about the rest of us sir?” Tillie queried.
“You three are to help anchor the tramper to the dock, O.J. will show you how.”
“Yes Captain Starr!” Ten Cents, Tillie, and Sunshine affirmed before following after O.J.
On their way to where the tramper was to be docked, Sunshine couldn’t help shake the feeling that they were being watched.
To confirm his suspicions, he looked behind himself and noticed something dark moving on top of some crates.
“Hey Ten Cents I think I see something?”
“Oh yeah, what's up?”, Ten Cents asked,
“It’s over there by the cra-” Sunshine pointed. But as soon as he returned his gaze at the crates, the thing was nowhere to be seen.
“What..?”
“You must've been seeing things. It's still early today but come on, there's work to be done”
They picked up their pace to catch up to Tillie and O.J. As they continued to walk past the glistening ocean, Sunshine couldn’t shake off his confusion.
He swore to himself that he wasn’t seeing things but he couldn’t figure out how even though the thing disappeared from his sight, why he still felt he was being watched.
The crew all suddenly stopped as they caught sight of Zorran, Zebedee and Zak, some of the employees of Zero Marine, our rival, were on their way to work as well.
“Well look what have we got here lads? Scrooge McDuck and his nephews?” Zebedee and Zak guffawed at Zorran’s remark.
“Shut up, we’re only just on our way to do our jobs,” Ten Cents said.
“What? off to get another contract?”
“We’re just on our way to bring in and unload a tramp steamer that’s all.” Tillie replied,
“Kindly leave us alone and we’ll be on our way-” O.J. retorted.
“Wasn’t trying to start any trouble with you, old man” oiled Zak, “Yeah, was only trying to make friendly conversation” Zebedee added sarcastically, “Also nice doll you got there Sunshine” Zebedee mused.
“What doll?-'' Tillie looked back at Sunshine and noticed in his binocular bag was a button-eyed doll that resembled him sticking out of it.
“Aw, you plan on having a tea party after your jobs of the day?” teased Zak
“Is your age now the number on your uniform, Sunshine? How cute.” Zorran joined in.
Sunshine’s face was as red as his hat as he tried to hide his doll.
“Oi leave him alone or else-!”
“Ten Cents, don’t even think about it”, snapped O.J.
“Or else what Ten Cents? You gonna fight me?” Zorran challenged
“Don’t you dare, lad” O.J. scolded holding back one of his arms.
“Let me at him, O.J.!” Ten Cents growled
“Hey calm down now… let's get going before you do something you’ll regret,” soothed Tillie.
“Yeah, listen to your little girlfriend Ten Cents!” Retorted Zorran, this was the final straw, Ten Cents won’t take any longer.
“Oh now you’re -!” yelled Ten Cents lunging at Zorran.
“That’s enough Ten Cents!” shouted O.J.
O.J. and Tillie tried to hold Ten Cents back from the Zeros, all the while poor Sunshine stood in utter silence afraid and ashamed to do anything when he turned his gaze to a rooftop of a building and saw the thing he saw earlier on the crates, which turned out to be a cat. He couldn’t believe it when he saw it clearly now as it stared at him.
“Hey there it is again!” Sunshine shouted pointing up to the rooftop making everyone, even the Zeros look up. Tillie and O.J. took it as a chance to get both Ten Cents and Sunshine out of there before things could escalate further and grabbed their arms and took off.
“Hey what are you two doing?”
“Getting us away from them” O.J. groaned
Once they weren far enough from the Zeros, Tillie heaved a sigh of relief
“Now Let's keep going, we can't be late for the tramp steamer.”
“Yeah you’re right.”
“Be a lot more sensible, will you, Ten Cents?” shouted O.J., “If we hadn’t dragged you out of there, you could’ve gotten into even more trouble.”
“He was only trying to defend Sunshine, that’s all.” Tillie explained.
“Did you guys see it?” Sunshine chimed in
“See what?”
“The black cat, I saw it earlier on the crates. It was on the rooftop!”
O.J. stood in confusion.
“I didn’t see it, Sunshine, it was the heat of the moment that distracted us.” Said Tillie
“And if we did that’s something we shouldn't worry about. Ten Cents, please learn to keep your head on straight, will you? Last thing I want is something bad to happen to you.” OJ pleaded.
“I will in future, I’m sorry O.J.”
“Good, now let's head over to the dock, that tramper should be here at any moment.”
And so they did, but the thought of the black cat still played on Sunshine’s mind.
The sound of a chorus of tugboats blowing their hooters indicated that the tramp steamer was ready to be docked. Ten Cents, Sunshine, Tillie, and O.J. had arrived on time.
They watched as Hercules, Big Mac, Warrior, and Top Hat moved the ship close to the dock. A couple sailors aboard the steamer were at the bow and stern holding ropes.
“Right lads,” said O.J., "You must work quickly to safely secure this ship to the dock. Tillie, you’re with me in securing the bow, Ten Cents and Sunshine you two are in charge of the stern. Grip the ropes with both hands and tie them to the cleats, we must work together on this, should you lose your grips, this tramper could end up floating away from the dock, understood?”
“Yes O.J.!”, Ten Cents, Sunshine, and Tillie chimed together.
The young stars and O.J. took their positions at the ends of the ropes while Warrior, Big Mac, and Top Hat stood at their tugboats in case.
“Ready lads?!” called O.J.?
“Ready!” declared Ten Cents, Sunshine, and Tillie.
“Good, release the ropes!” O.J. shouted towards the tramp steamer.
The two sailors threw down the long ropes from their vessel and they landed down on the quay. Ten Cents, Sunshine, Tillie, and O.J. ran and grabbed hold of the ropes.
“Ready to pull!” Ten Cents called out.
All four Stars on the dock did their best to safely moor the vessel, Ten Cents and O.J. were holding strong to the ropes as Sunshine and Tillie tied their ropes to the cleat hitches.
But as they worked, Sunshine thought he heard the sound of a cat meowing behind him.
Turning to where he heard it, he saw the black cat yet again from the rooftop and the crates.
“Hey Ten Cents, I see the cat again.”
“Can it wait Sunshine, I’m busy here” Ten Cents strained.
“But Ten Cents it’s only over-...”
As Sunshine pointed over to where the cat was, the rope began to slip out of Ten Cents’ hands.
“SUNSHINE DON’T LET GO OF THE ROPE!!”
(To be Continued)
{End of Chapter 2}
<- Previous chapter —•— Next chapter ->
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miscfandomwrites · 3 months
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A/N: I needed a break from the mama series for a bit. This was an idea that I came up with while dealing with some chores, and my adhd brain would NOT stop pestering me to write this down before I forgot it. I might make this into its own series, but it’s honestly a drabble more than anything. I also just really wanted to write a fight scene. Oh, and I did edit it so the name of the character is Wolf, not dog. 
Pairing: Avengers x Werewolf! Reader
Location: Marvel > Avengers > Avengers Team > Oneshots
Warnings: Violence, language (?)
Words: 1.3k
Tagging: @tyler-t0t
~~
“You’re joking.” I asked the man in front of me.
“I am not. You are to meet them, and see if they like you.” He replied.
It was difficult not to roll my eyes at the situation. 
“Fury, having them like me is something I can live without. I’m back up, after all.” I told him. 
He sighed, before pushing the folder in front of him to me. “I know.”
He got up and left me in the conference room, wondering if it was too late to get on my motorcycle and ride out of the state completely. 
He’d close the building up before I stepped foot into that garage anyway. I told myself, opening the massive folder and flipping through the various papers in it.
Avengers Initiative. Steve Rodgers. Carol Danvers. Tony Stark. Natasha Romanoff. James Barnes. Bruce Banner. Thor. King T’Challa. Scott Lang. Clint Barton. Wanda Maximoff. All to protect the world from larger-than-them fights. Bullshit.
I skimmed through the rest of the file, only taking time to read through Barnes and Romanoff’s profiles.
I finished skimming through the folder before closing it and getting up from the table. Stretching my limbs and bending backwards to pop my back never seemed so good. I had sat in that chair for nearly an hour as Fury told me about the Avengers and my role to partake today. 
Shit, when was the meeting again? 
I checked my phone for the time and was relieved to see I had fifteen minutes until I was ‘needed’ at the meeting. 
Enough time for coffee, and maybe a bagel. 
I grabbed the file and donned my leather jacket, checking all my pockets and weapons in case they were loose or had moved since I had sat down. After clearing that, I headed out of the room towards the cafeteria. 
Bullshit. I’m back up-they never need backup. 
They were the Avengers for fuck’s sake, “Earth’s mightiest hero’s my ass” I grumbled to myself as I stalked down the hallway. 
It took a decent amount of self control not to throw open the cafeteria door, mostly because last time I had to pay for it.  Why the fuck are the doors so expenis-oh, pure steel. Enough to stop bullets. Right. 
I cut off the thought as it appeared, and I headed to the coffee station in the back of the room, ignoring the looks I got as I walked past the tables.
Being the person I am, having a reputation can be a dangerous thing, yet I tried to stay in good graces of everyone. The only time I wasn’t polite or made an effort not to snap at anyone is when I knew it would impact my life with S.H.I.E.L.D. 
While I was born into Hydra as an experiment, I became a part of S.H.I.E.L.D nearly seven years ago when my plane had crashed and I was captured. My abilities made me a prize possession of the agency, and once I proved myself useful it was only a matter of gaining trust from others.
I grabbed a disposable coffee cup and poured some (thankfully) hot coffee into it, before snapping on the lid. I checked the time and was really, really, disappointed that I did not in fact, have enough time to get a bagel.
I headed out of the cafeteria and out of view of the stares, and made my way upstairs and to the conference room. 
The one thing I did not like about the conference rooms were the pure glass walls-you could shade them, but no one even bothered to hide the fact that not just the original Avengers were there, but all of them. I lost track of all the faces I saw.
I took a large sip of my coffee before taking a deep breath and pushing open the door to the room. 
“I’m glad you could join us, Ms. (L/N).” Fury spoke with a tone of indifference. I did notice the gleam in his eye-surprise. He was surprised that I actually went through with this. 
I nodded to him, before taking off my jacket and draping it across the chair at the foot of the table. 
Steve Rodgers, otherwise known as the defacto ‘Leader’ of the Avengers came around to me, holding out his hand.
“Steve Rodgers, but you can call me Steve” He told me, I stifly shook his hand.
“(F/N) (L/N), but you can call me Wolf.” I replied, before taking my hand away and tucking it into my pocket. He walked back around to his spot, and everyone took their seats besides Fury and I.
“Ms. (L/N), otherwise known as Wolf, is the new applicant for this position.” Fury told everyone, handing out a stack of folders to everyone.
“And her test?” Natasha Romanoff asked him as she got her folder.
Fury just nodded, finishing passing out the folders before standing at the head of the table again.
I heard the door open behind me, and sensed the four men before I saw them. 
All well built, no main identifying features other than a faint remembrance as the top of the fighter’s guild last year. All wore the same suits, all looked clean, and all looked nervous. One stood at my left, another at my right, and two behind me.
“Fury.” I spoke in a warning tone. I had no idea what the hell was about to happen, but I didn’t like it. 
“Worried?” He asked me, raising his eyebrow.
“Not for myself. You’ve seen me fight, are you sure you are willing to risk their lives to prove a point?” I asked him, with venom coating my final words.
He smiled at me, before nodding. The man at my left side shifted nervously.
“You could have let me go into a small battle with them, yet you decided that unleashing me in a closed room with four men would prove your point?” I told him as I set my coffee down.
“No weapons, no death” He replied.
I nodded, before widening my stance. I knew the men would only attack on his command, and I would honor that.
He nodded, and all at once the men leapt for me.
I ducked low and as one of the men behind me made to grab my shoulder, I grabbed his arm and threw him on the table. Everyone stood up in shock, papers scattering and chairs rollin gin every direction.
I twisted his arm and went left as the man on my right came at me. I twirled, ducking the left man’s fist as he swung at me.
The other man behind me grabbed my arm, and I turned and kicked him with all my force into the widow behind him. It spider-webbed, but didn’t break. Another man grabbed me around the stomach and I shook him off of me, before turning around and punching him square in the face.
He cursed at me and held his nose, his blood running through his fingers and staining his white undershirt. I snarled at him, before roundhousing him in the face.
Luckily I dodged the other man coming at me, and he shoulder-checked the other man at the window, borderline breaking it. 
I dragged him off of the other man, and slammed my head against his, breaking his nose. I then swung a right hook into his jaw, rendering him unconscious and only the man at the window to deal with.
I turned towards him, as he stood taller, both fists up, a dangerous gleam in his eyes.
“You’re just Fury’s lapdog, born to take orders!” He yelled at me. I stood still for a matter of three seconds as he started to realize that he truely, royally, fucked up.
I approached him with a deadly calm that made my head swim. 
“I belong to no one.” I snarled at him, before kicking him into the window, finally breaking it and sending him falling to his death thirty six stories below.
I turned towards Fury, wiping the blood off my hands, and growled
“Is this enough proof?”
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thefuckinsandes · 11 months
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Polaroid
Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x Photographer f!reader Summary: It's moving day and you both decide to create some forever lasting memories. A/N: I know it's been a while, but inspiration stroke one day and well this was the result. Part Three of the Candid series, but can be read alone. Part One, Part Two
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Soft snores flowed musically as the sun began to peer through the curtains. The warmth that embraced you tried to lure you back to sleep. However the excitement of what today was and what it symbolized made you ready to begin the day. Slowly turning around, not wanting to break away from the arms wrapped around you, you smiled at the sight before you.
Javi’s sweet curls that you loved to run your fingers through, fell over his face as he slept. He looked peaceful as you softly swept the hair that covered his face. He sighed at the sensation, undisturbed and still in his dreams. You leaned in slowly and placed a kiss on his forehead before pulling away from his embrace. He reached over in his sleep to attempt to pull you back, but you whispered lightly that you’d be back in a bit. Javi unknowingly nodded and murmured that he loved you before gripping the covers closer to his bare chest. 
It wasn’t long until Javi officially awoke from his slumber. The bed was empty beside him as he stretched away the remnants of sleep. He got out of bed and did his morning routine before he heard the sound of music luring him to the living room. He leaned against the doorway admiring you as you ensured everything, besides the items you both decided could be easily packed, was ready to go. A styrofoam cup of coffee was in your hands as you sat down on the floor in the living room taking a break.
“Good morning, querida,” Javi smiles as he walks towards you and takes a seat beside you. He kisses you before accepting the coffee you held out to him.
“Morning, amor. How did you sleep?”
“Peaceful, but I was sad that I didn’t have you in my arms when I woke up.”
“Aw, I’m sorry. But I had to sacrifice myself to go bring us some delicious coffee and breakfast bagels from around the corner,” you tease as you hold up the bag containing the delicious meal awaiting you both.
“Oh well in that case, you are completely forgiven,” Javi is quick to reach for the bag. “Thank you, amor!”
Boxes surrounded the two of you as the sun continued to rise. Today was officially the day you would both move into your new house. Javi had been living with you for the past two weeks, officially ending the lease he had in his beautiful apartment and already having majority of his belongings awaiting you both in the new house. “We might as well start practicing living together,” he had joked holding two duffle bags the first night he stayed over. 
As the two weeks progressed, your apartment slowly began to be packed away ready for the new chapter in your lives. Books were packed and furniture that you both decided not to keep were sold online and other good condition items were donated to local charities. Your closet was empty with the exception of the one box that held the clothes you’d need for a week. It wasn’t long until the only things that were left was the mattress that you both slept on, the toiletries you both needed, clothes, and some cleaning supplies.
“At what time is Arlene, Michael, and Leah coming over to help?” Javi asked as he cleaned up after you both.
“I think in about twenty minutes,” you told him as you checked your phone. “Do you want to start moving the duffle bags and some of the boxes into the back of my car so we can see how much space we might need before Michael brings the moving truck?”
“Okay, querida, but first don’t move from that spot,” Javi tells you before he reaches into your backpack.
“Why?”
He pulls out the Polaroid camera that you forgot to pack earlier in the week. He frames you with his left hand before he brings the camera into his eyeline. You laugh and humor him with a big smile and make a peace sign before you see the camera flash. The film ejects and Javi holds it against his chest, allowing the warmth of his body to help with the development.
“We have to capture every single moment so that we can always revisit these memories,” he tells you with a smile. He pulls the film away after a minute and shows you the image beginning to appear. “You look beautiful.”
You blushed and stretched your arms as you gave him your “gimme” gesture, “Then can I take a photo of you? Pretty please!”
“How can I say no when you asked so nicely,” he teases, handing you the film camera. “How should I pose?”
“Whatever feels natural to you.”
He takes a beat and thinks as he places his right hand on his chin and his left on his hip. He places most of his weight on his left leg causing his right knee to naturally pop out and it’s screaming to be seen from the black shorts he must have put on when getting out of bed. His hair is still messy and adorable. The perfect shot. The sudden flash caught him by surprise as you giggled at his shocked reaction.
“I was not ready!”
You quickly placed the film underneath your shirt to allow it to develop and away from his hands as he tried to reach for it. Javi gave you a devious smirk as he quickly dropped to the ground and grabbed you by the waist. Playful screams escaped your lips as you struggled as he now was over you. He continued his onslaught before his laughs took over and stared lovingly down at you.
“Do you surrender, querida?”
“Only if you’ll kiss me, amor.”
“With pleasure,” Javi smiles before he leans down and kisses you sweetly, taking his time.
Javi pulls away to softly place his forehead against your own. Your breaths mixed with another as time froze for you both. There was no one else in the world - just Javi and you. Two souls who by chance met at the perfect time and place. You both knew it in your hearts that you were it for one another. 
Javi moved to sit besides you as he grabbed your hands to move you off the ground. Feeling the Polaroid poking your stomach, you pulled the film and handed it over to him.
“You look beautiful, amor.”
Javi looked at his photo and smiled, “Let’s take one together please.”
As Javi reached for the camera you moved to get closer to his side, but he had a different idea in mind. He patted the empty space between his legs and wordlessly asked you to sit there. You gave him a playful look before abiding to his quiet request. As soon as you were settled, he wrapped an arm around you and placed a chaste kiss on your head. Javi held the camera at arm's length with some difficulty.
“Javi do you-”
“I got this, querida,” he struggled for a bit but managed to hold it steady. “Ready? One, two, three, cheese!”
Flash.
The camera dispensed the photo as Javi brought it back towards you. You pulled it out and placed it underneath your shirt.
“Javi.”
“¿Si?”
“You know it has a self timer, right?” You stared at him as he stared at you back. If you could describe the face he was giving you, it would definitely be the emoji with its mouth as an o. A grin appeared on your face as you took the camera and crawled towards the nearest box to place the camera there.
“We only get eight seconds so be ready, okay?”
He nodded his head.
“Okay, three, two, one, go!”
You quickly crawled back towards Javi with a laugh. He was ready for you as he pulled you directly onto his lap and gave you the dreamiest look. Before you could even smile at him, he leaned you back and placed his lips on you. Your hand made its way to his hair and you held onto him. You both didn’t even notice the flash of the camera or hear the film dispense. 
There were so many ways to describe Javi’s kisses. Flirty, playful, passionate were some of them. This one was different from that. This kiss was a promise. A promise of the future that you both will have. A promise of being present and loving towards one another. The promise of a never ending love that will last in this life and the next. So many promises just in this beautiful kiss.
You pulled away for the two of you to catch your breath. Javi pecked your forehead before looking at you.
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
A loud honk of a truck was heard outside of your apartment pulling you both away from this intimate moment. Arlene, Michael, and Leah were here. You stood up and held your hands out to pull Javi up. The Polaroid fell out of your shirt. You reached for it as Javi went to grab the one that was still attached to the camera. Holding both of the films together, you looked at one another and smiled. The first one was at an angle showing you both smiling happily at the camera. The second showed how deeply in love you were with one another.
“Can we please frame these, Javi?”
“Of course, mi querida. Now, are you ready to start moving stuff?”
You took a deep breath and nodded. You were more than ready.
The day rolled on quickly and before you knew it, you were crawling into your new bed, in your new home, with your future husband. Javi pulled you close before reaching over to grab something from the bedside table.
“It’s perfect, isn’t it,” he held the two black frames before handing one to you.
The four Polaroids that were taken that morning were now placed into two frames. Javi handed you the one with his photo and the tilted image of you two. He held onto the frame with your photo and what you now dubbed the kiss of future promises.
“It is,” you smiled before giving the frame a kiss and placing it on your bedside table. You heard Javi do the same as he turned off the lamp he had on. You pulled Javi towards you and kissed him.
“Night, mi amor.”
“Goodnight, mi vida.”
“I love you.”
Javi kissed you, “I love you, mi media naranja. I am yours, forever.”
You smiled and moved closer as he pulled you into his arms, nuzzling his chest and placing a chaste kiss over his heart, “Forever. I love the sound of that.”
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Nikola - part of the Magnus Monsterverse AU
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What was I even truly being asked to do? Was I being used like Jonah had used me before?
I had no way to know that tonight, and I was too damned tired to think about it. And I still had to go to work.
Web Martin, I decided before I slept, was giving me a gosdamned raise.
Part of the Magnus Monsterverse AU.
AO3
------
I almost forgot about my job. 
I had a job! A job! One I’d stressed over! And I damn near missed it. I woke with my heart in my throat (whatever that meant for a man made of eyes) and sprang out of our bed so fast that I scared Martin half-invisible.
What followed was, according to the Eye, every bit as delightful as Tsukino Usagi running late for school in some anime called Sailor Moon, which I was vaguely aware existed as I scrambled around the room looking for business-worthy clothes, and by the time I was reaching for the door (stealing one more kiss from Martin, who was back to full-color, and so proud of me his cheeks were red), It had caught me up on all 18 volumes of manga and half the 200 episode series.
I didn’t really want any of that, but It was so damned happy about it that I felt bad telling It to stop. I finally did, though, when It projected to me the image of running down the street with a piece of toast in my mouth, which I absolutely would not do.
Fine, It whined, and fed me a silly science-fiction podcast following people in a space station orbiting a red dwarf star some seven and a half light years away from Earth instead.
#
This London was so different than I didn’t at first realize just where the bus was taking me.
It was just so damned quiet; no one spoke, not even in whispers; no one but me looked around, even though London was beautiful. Sort of in the way a mausoleum is, honestly: clean and stone and shadowed with ghosts of itself. I didn’t realize. I really didn’t, not until I saw we were driving past Battersea Park (Why was that the same name? How did that work?) and clocked just where we were going. 
Owlwood Library sat in Chelsea, a few blocks from the Thames. It was a lovely building on the other side of Vauxhall bridge, near the embankment. A lovely Victorian structure, red brick and white stone, four stories and two towers and hell beneath the ground.
But it could not be. This was not the same place. It could not be the same.
The bus stopped.
A few people got off. I… almost didn’t.
I couldn’t let Martin down. I couldn’t… let this chance slip away. I leaped to my feet and staggered off the bus, breathing hard, snagging everyone’s attention because I was behaving like a loon, and then had to take a moment on the sidewalk, bent over, leaning on my thighs, just trying to breathe.
For an inner ear made of eyeballs, mine did a lovely job of making the world spin 'round. It was a coincidence, I told myself. My new job just happened to be in the same building as the Magnus Institute had once been. Ha ha, so funny, someone's idea of a joke. And after all, some things were the same (and never mind the utter madness of how many things had to be coincidences to make that so), so it couldn’t be related, it could not.
Could it?
The Eye wanted to show me and… couldn't. It fizzled. Sparked. Seized up? Froze like an old-school CRT monitor, blue and flickering. What? Why would… 
The Eye didn’t do that. The Eye hardly reacted to what it saw, even with all this latest hyperactivity. The only time it ever just froze was in the face of—
Oh.
I stood slowly and looked at the building, looked at the building, LOOKED AT THE BUILDING, and saw the webs.
They were… everywhere. Everywhere. Blocking every window. Covering every door. Dangling, with little twirls as if in non-existence wind, brushing the heads and faces and unblinking eyes of every person who walked in and out of this place, and so many people did. So many. University students, mostly, but there were teenagers, and older academics, and the odd single parent looking for a good read. It was a busy place, and a happy place, and a stronghold of the Web, and I was two good, deep breaths away from just running down the street with a scream.
“Hey,” said Web Martin behind me.
I did scream as I spun. I’m sorry, Quiet London. 
“It’s okay,” said Web Martin, holding out, of all things, a cup of tea on a little saucer. “You’re all right. No need to freak out.”
I stared at him. Through him. Oh, gods. He was full of spiders.
He sighed. “Jon. I’m not your enemy. We’ve been over this.”
“Don’t you dare fake impatience with me,” I snarled.
The act dropped. He smiled, looking like Annabelle Cane’s soul in Martin’s body. “Sorry. Force of habit; disappointment was usually the best way to get you to do anything.”
Oh, heavens. “Well, that’s not me anymore,” I said with far more force than I felt.
“Please come in. I promise this isn’t a trap. We couldn’t trap you, anyway; Jon, you could literally burn this entire web to the ground if you looked at it too hard. We are the ones in danger here, not you. All right? Come in so we can talk. It isn’t safe out here.”
“Did I even earn the job on my own?” I blurted, which was the dumbest thing in the world to say.
“Did you earn the original?” he said, deadpan.
Damn. That hurt.
His apology looked real. “Sorry, Jon. Please come in. We’re trusting you.”
And I must have been mad because the next thing I said was, “You’re paying me for my damn time.”
He laughed, and I knew, knew , I’d genuinely surprised him. “Of course! You really did get hired. Come on, now, let’s go.” He offered the tea again.
It was an Earl Grey with the most delicious scent, automatically calming, positively Pavlovian, and I inhaled for a moment, eyes closed. 
The Eye was here. I was not alone. Not that It could do much to help me against the Web, but… I looked back at the building, then at Web Martin.
I looked at him. Looked. LOOKED.
He shuddered. “Wow,” he whispered. “That feels… not great?”
I’m sure it didn’t, because I saw him.
He was afraid of me, genuinely. He hadn’t lied. And filled with spiders or not, he… this was Martin.
Not my Martin, but he was Martin. He hadn’t been replaced with something else. This was genuinely him, with a different path, different choices.
My eyes pricked for a moment (yes, all of them ), and I wasn’t sure if they did in grief for the loss of the Martin I might have known, or guilt for refusing to see him as a person this long.
“Come on,” he said, relieved, because he hadn’t been sure how I’d respond (he… what? He what? ), and lead the way toward the Institute.
No, toward the Owlwood Library. Fuck.
#
It smelled exactly the same: books and cardboard boxes, cleaning material and that oddly earthy scent of old air conditioning installed in even older places. 
The carpet was different. The marble was not. The office of Elias Bouchard was now a conference room and there was no Rosie guarding it. The door to the Archives still loomed, marked, EMPLOYEES ONLY, and I could not bring myself to see what lay beyond.
“Hi, Hannah!” Martin said quietly, waving at a researcher who waved back. “Mark coming today?”
“No, not today,” she whispered in returned, and smiled.
Martin shrugged it off and lead me deeper in.
I kept blinking. Between one blink and another, I could see more webs, or none. The place was just… full, but even I could see that some books were more wrapped than others, that to touch them would be to get web on your hand.
I wasn’t sure I could do this.
“You won’t be getting any on you,” said Martin, guessing from the way my own eyes were wide and horse-panicked.
“You got me the job,” I retorted.
"We’re well aware of what you’ll do to us if we upset you,” said Martin. “This is an attempt to invite you along, not do anything to make you upset.”
“Sure.” Wait, what had he said? “Invite me along to what?”
“Truth. And then, of course, your choices.”
“Oh, and you have no investment in those, I suppose,” I muttered.
Martin did not answer me until we entered a back office—a space that had, in my time, actually been divided into study rooms for our student population. Now, it was his space; books lined the walls, and maps, and he had lovely stylized things like globes and old portraits.
I stared and a lovely Victorian portrait of an older woman in mourning clothes, smiling knowingly at the painter. Her back was straight and her shoulders were squared; she looked like she knew exactly who was staring at her face from across time, and knew she could out-think them. “That… who is that?”
“Johanna Owlwood,” said Martin, “who founded this library in 1818 as part of a Cesarean outreach to the underprivileged who lacked the means for higher education.”
Cesarean. There was a whole bucket of nonsense I’d yet to upend. The Roman Imperial Cult was what lasted in this world, though it still ended up spreading Latin and Greek throughout, and—
“Have a seat, please. Let’s get your orientation out of the way,” said Web Martin.
“Wait a moment. Are you my boss?” I blurted.
Web Martin grinned.
“Oh, that’s simply unfair,” I said, trying to joke, and sat.
“Now, the pay rate and benefits are exactly as you saw in the paperwork you signed,” he said.
I hadn’t made it here the other day, though. “I didn’t sign any—”
Martin slid unsigned paperwork across, and I suddenly understood this was one of those conversations: time was a construct, and all that mattered was crossing and dotting appropriate letters.
“Fine,” I said, taking a moment to read it over.
“However, we’d hoped to discuss something that isn’t in your list of official duties,” said Web Martin.
“Out with it,” I said.
“You know something is wrong with this world.”
I sighed. “Nikola said so, yes.”
“The other Nikola. Would you like to question the other-other Nikola?”
“The… the one who’s imprisoned somewhere?”
“Yes.” 
I sighed. “Look. I understand you have the need to make things complicated. I remember what it was like to talk to Annabelle. But I also know you can understand me when I say this: my tolerance for nonsense is, right at this moment, nearly as low as it ever has been.”
“Yes, we—”
“ No, you don’t understand,” I said. “I want straight answers. Simple. Clear. Few syllables. No trickery, no leading questions.”
Web Martin studied me for a long moment. I had the strangest impression; like gears made of web, turning in some colossal and complex machinery too intricate for me to understand. “All right,” he said. “I’ll try.”
We’d see. “I’m listening.”
“A god rules this world. It’s not a good god; it’s a cold god, and cruel. We believe it’s Eye-related.”
“Why?”
“Because it has so far seen, with complete clarity, every plan we’ve attempted, every investigation, and every try to get away from its influence.”
“That sounds aggressive,” I said, using the first word that came to mind. “The Eye doesn’t do that. It’s passive.”
“We said Eye-related for a reason.”
“And you intend for me to do… what, exactly?”
“An Eye cannot see itself,” said Web Martin. 
“Uh-huh.” I crossed my arms.
“We believe you can uncover what’s really going on and help us to stop it.”
“What is it doing that’s so terrible?”
He tilted his head. 
I pushed. I already knew the answer on some level, but I pushed. “London, at least, is clean and quiet. Crime rates are incredibly low. Tell me what’s so horrible about it all.”
“Guilt, Jonathan Sims,” said Web Martin, who had not blinked at all since agreeing to be honest with me. “It rules the world with guilt. Didn’t you know?”
I did.
I… I truly did. It wasn’t fear; but it was like the fear, driving things, controlling things, forcing people into boxes not meant for their size. It compressed human beings into shapes not right, sucked out joy, bled away hope.
Guilt.
And the moment—the moment —I forgave people, that god of guilt lost its grip on them.
Crew. The Distortion. Martin. Tim.
This wasn’t possible. Shouldn’t be; my word should not be enough to counteract whatever this other force had going. “The whole world?”
“Yes.”
I realized I was wringing my hands and stopped. “Only the one guilt-god? It’s not… there aren’t other cruel gods?”
“Oh, the Fears are here,” said Web Martin, “along with the quiet scents of the ones your Gerry disbelieved—love, mercy, all those things. But they’re balanced . They are as they should be; merely higher up the food chain, neither depleting nor depriving, simply existing as all things do. But this… this throws it all out of whack. We can’t feed as we ought. We are starved; and the fact is, Jon, that’s putting our patrons in… something of a bad position.”
I stared at him. “Will they die if they starve?”
“No. They’ll go mad and devour the world, is what they’ll do.”
He was right. Oh, gods. He was right. I knew it. Felt it. “But… all the other rescued avatars don’t seem to be starving.”
Web Martin’s smile wasn’t kind. “Well, that’s because—in spite of misunderstandings—our patrons do take good care of us. As long as we feed them, we who represent are cared for. Even though they are not receiving enough, we do. But that can’t last forever.”
When I’d told him to be blunt, I hadn’t expected this. “So you’re asking me to help undo something the Web can’t figure out.”
“We don’t need understanding, Jon. We need sight. That’s your department.”
“Why not ask someone else? Gerry, or…” But there were precious few people of the Eye here, weren’t there? Precious few. “Did Manuela avoid rescuing people connected to the Eye?”
“They don’t survive. Something destroys them while she brings them in.”
I stared. “What?”
“It’s quite awful. They’re torn apart, or… well. They tear themselves apart, is what it seems like to us.”
“Tear themselves apart?”
“As you very nearly did.”
I… had. Shame over what I was, what I had done. If not for Martin... “This isn’t what I expected.”
“You asked for bluntness.” Web Arthur shrugged. “Unlike Annabelle, I actually know how to do that when needed.”
“Can’t whatever this thing is see us now? Didn’t it see your machinations to provide me with gainful employment?”
Web Martin started giggling again. “Machinations.”
I sputtered. “Well, it’s accurate!”
“No, no, you’re correct, you just… manage to put such nefariousness into the word. Adorable.” He kept chuckling.
I glared denial. “Can you tell me anything else?”
“Ah, let me see.” He wiped his eyes. “Yes. There’s something of a resistance? It all has to be carefully done, since… well, being watched is unavoidable; but the thing is that this god, whatever it is, seems limited to guilt. Those who have slipped the yoke, as it were, can be recaptured, but if they manage to fight it off, they can be useful.”
“Do they know they’re part of a resistance?” I said, dry.
“Some of them,” he said with that still-surprising honesty. “Of course, they all think it has something to do with Manuela and Leitner.”
“Does it?”
“I don’t know.” Web Martin shrugged. "The Spider can’t really work with them, you see. They simply don’t react as predicted; they aren’t mappable. We have not been able to pull a single thread to get them to do anything with great effect. Are they working for this guilt-god? We don’t know. Is Sasha? We don’t… think so, though she’s certainly unintentionally complicit.”
“She believes guilt keeps us safe,” I said slowly.
“An effective lie, isn't it?” Web Martin shrugged magnificently. “Is there anything else? I have a nine o’clock I really have to take.”
I stared. “You have to tell me more than that.”
“We don’t know more than that. We have guesses, but nothing proven. Do you really want speculation?”
“I…” Blast. “Maybe?”
“Not yet, I think,” said Web Martin. “You’ll get overwhelmed. As it is, you have to put in a full day of work.”
Dear lord, was this happening?
“Oh,” he said. “I’d suggest trying to meet with Nikola tonight. She won't last much longer, now that her original is gone. Since you can portal, you can do that.”
“But I don’t know where she…” Except I did. Manuela’s mountain. 
“If you come up with specific questions—”
“Which I will.”
“—then we will answer,” said Martin. “But there is the fear that giving you too much information will send you on some… damned crazy crusade.”
“Nonsense,” I said.
“We can’t really afford any broken tables, Jon,” said Web Martin almost gently. “Not this time.”
Oh, ouch. “Oh, there’s the manipulation,” I drawled. “Wondered where that went.”
He smiled like the sun rising, and absolutely conjured the feel of spider legs tickling under my skin. “Good luck.”
“Wait a minute. What am I even doing?”
“Today, it’s simple: go around the place, all four floors; find the carts with returned books on them. Return the books.”
“Don’t they need to be… logged, or something?”
“In a normal library, yes, but not this one.”
I sighed. “And for this, I’m being paid a livable wage?”
“You can actually shelve any book in the place without getting entangled. Quite frankly, you could ask for more.”
“Maybe I will ,” I said.
“Maybe you should,” he said, and smiled like the sun.
Someone knocked on the door. “Mister Blackwood? Your nine o’clock is here.”
“Thank you!" he called. "And thank you, Jon,” said Web Martin.
“Don’t thank me. I know you’re just tugging heartstrings again.”
“Maybe, but I do mean it. Good luck.”
#
Good luck , as it turned out, meant, Those carts are old and the wheels don’t work well and you’re going to have a time trying to steer them places.
I checked, too. The wheel brakes weren’t on. They were just… I don’t know.  Maybe designed to move according to the will of the Web, or something, and my presence apparently cut that off.
I looked up books and shelved them, relying on the Eye to give me the Dewey Decimal information so I wouldn’t have to continually go back downstairs to the card catalog (which was not digitized, and I couldn’t decide if that made me happy or annoyed). 
It was pleasantly mindless work. I have always loved the feel and smell of books, and as the ones I touched were mysteriously web-free, I got to enjoy them.
I got lost a couple of times reading a book before putting it away. You know. On the clock, because the Web can go to hell.
How  much of what Web Martin said was true?
All of it , the Eye assured me, but that didn’t help. I knew the Eye was thinking in absolutes; not in shades of color, in the angle of a lie. This was not a true/false scenario. This had dimensions. I just wasn’t sure what they were.
The Web was the Web; the Spider couldn’t change her nature, so I knew this hadn’t been completely blunt. But… I think it was about as blunt as she could manage. The question was what to do about it. Who was this resistance? What on earth could they accomplish, given they could not go unseen? What were they resisting, anyway? Feeling bad?
Why hadn’t Gerry been invited? What the hell was I going to say to Nikola in an hour?
I felt stupid today. I’m sure it had absolutely nothing to do with being exploded at and impaled last night, not to mentioned helped by an iteration of my worst enemy. No, I’m sure all of that was totally incidental.
The Eye began feeding me internet programming about mental health and what stress does to the body. Yes, thank you. I don’t have a body. I have eyes in a sack. Thank you. I’m… I’m good now. Thanks.
It switched to “reality” programming following couples around who kept secrets from each other. Oh, what the hell? What? 
We weren’t keeping secrets from each other. Fuck that noise.
(Or at least, I wasn’t.)
(I knew he wasn’t, either. Come on.)
I finished my shift and checked in with Web Martin. He handed me some paperwork to take home, an unbelievably fake smile, and a cursory good night.
It was getting dark out. I texted Martin: Want me to pick anything up?
Just you , he typed. Then a moment later, That didn’t come out right
I laughed, walking on a rapidly darkening street, phone in hand. I’ll see what I can do about that.
He sent a few emoji which were not public safe, and I walked with a grin and heated cheeks. What ridiculousness!
I had a lover, and he was… he really cared for me. That hadn’t happened before, any of it. I’d been friends with some cuddling with Georgie, but nothing like this. Even then, she’d… well. She’d liked me. She’d trusted me, which I managed to destroy completely; but she hadn’t really… enjoyed spending time with me?
I irritated her. My rants. My little obsessions. My... well. Neurodivergence, I suppose.
That thought took a lot of introspection. It seemed I didn't annoy Martin by just being me, and that in and of itself was more of a miracle than gods or monsters or any damn thing.
I needed to keep him safe. If Web Martin was right, and I had a unique chance to figure out what was going on with this world…
Oh, shit. I’d freed Martin from its grip. Was he in danger?
I stopped walking. It had grown dark enough that street lights littered the sidewalk with circles of dimness, and I really needed to get to the bus stop and go home.
Or.
Or.
Or, I could spy—which I hadn’t done yet—and see if Manuela was out of her mountain so I could go speak to Nikola.
Manuela had security in place; I remembered that. But I wondered if she’d thought to put it in the cell where Nikola was locked away.
Was I really thinking this? Making a plan to appear in close quarters with a monster who had actively tried to skin me?
I was thinking this. I focused.
The Eye showed me her cell, and it was through her own eyes. Looking down at her plastic body, at the rags she’d been permitted; at the nothing that was her day, a completely empty space apart from a single board attached to the wall like some godsdamned cowboy prison. 
Nikola had fake moonlight. High on the wall apart from the door was a barred window opening to nothing—into the mountain—but it had light coming through it, aping the outside.
Why had Manuela done that? Enrichment was clearly not a thing. Why had—
The Eye… showed me: it is a mockery of hope. A mockery of the outside she’d never see again, a mockery of real life she would never feel on her skin, day and night changing place without seam, a reminder of what she would never be given as long as they deemed her unsafe.
Nikola was starving. And I was thinking of hurling myself into that cell. Was I really going to do this?
I looked for Manuela. She was at home, watching Brother Love season two, wrapped in a robe, holding a mug of hot chocolate.
Great. Now I felt bad for betraying her by doing this. 
I need Manuela not to see this, I thought.
The Eye responded with one simple image: the lanky, slumping, teenage form of Callum Brodie. 
There was an idea. First… I had to go home.
#
“Yes, I have his number,” said Martin, my Martin, who was so much better than Web Martin that I could just crawl into his clothes while he was wearing them and kip for a month.
“I need to talk to him.”
“Tonight?” Martin was baffled. The containers of Thai he’d picked up for us sat on the counter, opened and steaming.
“Yes.”
“Well.” He blinked. “All right.” He handed me his phone.
It was impossible not to catch glimpses of his texts. 
Michael D. Apology already given and we
Mike C. Sure we can meet up how about the
Peter L. Anytime.
I forced myself to stop peeking and click the compose icon. (He obviously wasn’t hiding anything. He’d just literally handed me his phone, for crying out loud.)
Callum, this is Jonathan Sims. I apologize for using Martin’s phone to reach out to you, but I don’t have your number. If it’s all right, I need a favor this evening. Please let me know if you’re available. Thank you. -JS
Martin took it back, stared, and started giggling. “Really? Format grammar and everything. Jon, it’s text. ”
“It’s an introduction,”I said, just a bit defensively. “I have to make the right impression.”
“Oh, Jon. You’re ridiculous,” he said so warmly, so gently, and kissed my cheek.  
“Ew?” said a cracking teenage voice to my right, and I jumped.
Callum Brodie stepped out of the shadows.  Just out of the shadows, completely invisible to me, and then not, and I had a badly frightened moment that must have shown on my face, because he laughed. “Shouldn’t’ve been snogging, then, you didn’t want to get scared.”
“Take the piss out of someone else,” said Martin mildly. “Callum, this is Jon. Jon, Callum.”
“Hi,” I said, unable to see inside him, able to see him with anything but my very human eyes, and it was so very strange. I hadn’t just used my two basic eyes for so long, and hadn’t even realized it. He almost didn’t seem real. Flat, like a cardboard cutout of himself. “I have a favor to ask.”
“What do I get out of it?” he said.
“Um. What do you want?” I said.
“Way to bargain, Sims,” said Martin, the corners of his mouth curled.
“Oh, shut up. What do you want, Callum?”
He studied me. “Money.”
“Oh. I just got a job today.”
“Not that kind of money. A lot of money.”
“I’m not… robbing a bank for you , or something.”
Callum stared at me. Then he looked at Martin, eyebrows raised.
Martin shrugged, wearing a beatific smile.
Callum looked back. “I want you to find me things . Things only Eye-guys can see. Not robbing people. I’m not stupid.”
“I… don’t understand what you’re…”
“Lost treasure. Missing things. Overlooked paintings. Things like that.”
I scratched my head. “How are you going to handle provenance?”
“Not your concern, Pupil Boy.”
Martin lost it, just for a moment. “I am so calling you that.”
“Don’t you dare,” I said back, equally unserious. 
“You’ll do it?” said Callum.
I checked with the Eye. “Looks like it’s possible,” I said. “All right. I suppose so, but not open-ended. Three things.”
“Sure,” said Callum, who clearly thought he’d gotten the better end of the deal (and probably had), and then said what they all say: “I killed you in my world.”
“Yes, yes,” I said.
“You tried to see through the dark, and you couldn’t. It ate you.”
“I think you mean one of the things inside it ate me,” I said, pedantic. “One of the lightless beasts, or whatnot.”
“No,” he said with a little shrug. “The Dark ate you. Really enjoyed it, too. Gave me a real boost.”
“Oh,” I said.
A deeply awkward pause… happened.
“Callum,” said Martin, chiding gently.
“Fine,” said Callum. “What do you  need?”
“I need Manuela Dominguez not to notice that I am visiting her special lab in the Alps.”
“Done,” he said.
I blinked. “What do you  mean, done? It can’t be done already.”
“It’s done. What, you think I don’t know where she is? You think I don’t know how to hide something stupid like a visitor from her system?” Callum said.
I stared at him. “You’re… efficient.”
“I fucking destroyed my world. Yeah. Efficient’s the word,” said Callum. “Four things. For being rude.”
Martin chortled.
I could sort of see why. Callum was abrasively winning, somehow. Bleh. “Sure. Four things.”
Callum smiled. Like a shark. “Do whatever you gotta do. I’ll keep you out of sight the whole time you’re there.”
“Thank you.” I kissed Martin quickly.
“Ew,” said Callum, who watched eagerly nonetheless.
“Be careful,” said Martin. 
“I will make sure we’re safe,” I said, nuzzling him once.
Then I opened a portal and stepped through.
#
I made it sound so easy. Opened a portal and stepped through. As if it didn’t involve narrowing my mind, opening my gaze; somehow seeing across hundreds of miles and through a mountain of solid stone that had supposedly been protected against this very thing. As if it didn’t involve telling reality to open, to part, to fold so that I could step from my London flat into her Switzerland lab. I couldn’t explain how I did this if my life depended on it, and it frightened me, because what if I couldn’t hold on to this instinctive skill?
The fear made it stronger, of course, and faster than I was ready for, I’d arrived. And oh, gods, I couldn’t see shit.
Okay. Okay; no, I could see, but the same way I saw Callum: strange, two-dimensional. It felt like I could only move in one direction across a flat plane.
Her door skewed, a trapezoid, but I found my way to it, reached through it somehow (don’t think about it, Sims), and walked inside.
Nikola Orsinov was deeply startled to see me.
Oh… oh, she was not well. Her feet and hands had both been melted off; there was no paint left on her, anywhere. The ringmaster's uniform was shreds of red, unrecognizable on her mutilated manikin body. 
In spite of all that, her shock was palpable. She sat up, joints creaking, plastic squeaking. “Archivist?” she said in a broken-music box voice.
This wasn’t right. She was being tortured. This was… inhumane. This was monstrous. I didn’t care what she had done. This was…
I had to be out of my mind. “I know you’re a copy.”
We were still for a long moment, she and I, staring—one without eyes, the other whose sight was flattened by the Dark.
“She told you,” said Nikola.
“Yes. I’m here to find out what you know about guilt.”
 “Are you? That’s lovely! I don’t believe you.”
Of course she didn’t. “What have they done to you in here?” I said.
“You, the arbiter of that which exposes, which sees and reveals, wish to learn about guilt?” she said, and her laugh was terrible. It sounded like ping pong balls rattling together, as if they’d been dropped down the stairs.
“I’m hoping I can stop it,” I said.
Nikola could not stare. She had no eyes—but that which was within her could most certainly see. I found myself pinned, peered through, seen by that which must see clearly in order to erase and replace it with itself. I was… this was…
This was a god , and anyone who’d called me one was full of shit.
“I see,” said Nikola. “You think you can restore the balance? You?” She stood.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t… even think. Felt like I was held in a hand made of knives, and it hadn’t skinned me yet, hadn’t pierced, but with the slightest twitch, it could.
She stopped in front of me, pretending to see, letting the other see. “You could, I think… but might it be more fun not to let you?” Her stump pressed into my chest and
fingers she had fingers though they were not visible
They pressed into my skin, and—“I’m torn, Archivist. I’m so very hungry, and you’re right here, and delightfully afraid. It’s like you’re a little Cornish pasty, steaming and ready!”
For one second, just one, she had me. Terror—a lifetime of it, before my bizarre millennia floating in nothing—settled into all its familiar place, refitting its fingerprints to the bruises it gripped into my soul.
The Eye showed me Martin.
A glimpse, lying beside me in our small bed, too close, smiling in the morning light; sleepy-eyed, utterly relaxed, mine.
Oh, fuck this creature. “ Don’t touch me ,” I said, and I don’t know where it came from or how it worked, but it thrust her away with the same trembling force my forgiveness.
But this was not forgiveness.
Nikola cracked back from me into the wooden board that was her bed and collapsed there, limbs askew, clacking and creaking and inhuman. She laughed.
And then from her issued a… sense. Sentence? Communication that was not in words.
Maybe you can do it
She didn’t say those words. That which looked through her at me said those words. The godsdamned Stranger itself regarded me, and Nikola stood down. “She would never tell you to ask me,” she said, stolen voice box creaky like her limbs. “I take it she is dead.”
“Yes. She’s dead.” 
And this Nikola’s whole form… shuddered , making a sound like a failing bridge. “So then it's done! I am no longer needed.”
She was falling apart. “I need information!” I snapped. “What, you’re going to just… die?”
“How can I die when I’ve never been alive, Archivist? What funny things you say,” she said, and I—
could see
Exactly where she was being held together, and the threads of unreality were being pulled away, and I
held
them fast.
That which looked through her unpainted face groaned.
“Tell me what you know, Nikola Orsinov,” I commanded.
“It controls,” she moaned, “needs to control… to keep all… where it thinks they belong. It does not allow… chaos. ”
What?
Oh.
Oh… that made… sense to me.
Sense in a horrible way, sense in a way I did not want, like feeling the beauty of the Vast, or the joy of the Distortion, or the relief of the Lonely. Keeping it quiet, keeping it shamed , meant no one would do the worst things, or very few would. It meant saving people. It meant calm.
But was that actually saving anyone?
No. It wasn’t. I knew that. Saving them at the expense of their joy was not saving them at all.
It was becoming hard to hold Nikola together. “Do you want to live?” I asked her.
“I don’t live, silly Archivist,” she said.
“Answer me.” I could make her do that.
She shuddered, rattled. “I want to be released from this form. I won’t truly die, Archivist—but I can be untrapped.”
Fuck Manuela for doing this. This wasn’t right. I don’t care what Nikola did, how many lives she’d taken; we were supposed to not be the monsters here. “I release you,” I said. “And… I forgive you, too.”
She fell apart. Clattering, legs rolling under the board, arms plonking to the ground and rocking just for a moment. Her head rolled all the way to my feet, where it landed, looking up at me.
Impossibly, there was some paint there, after all. I’d swear it was a smile.
I don’t know what I did, by doing that. Maybe I made things bad. I don’t care. This hadn’t been right, and I…
I was angry .
I opened a portal and stomped back home.
#
Martin and Callum both did a double-take and stared.
“It’s done,” I said.
“Jon?” said Martin as if unsure.
Great. What was wrong now? “Of course, Jon. Why? Do I look like someone else? Did the fucking Stranger…”
“Jon, you’re glowing,” Martin said.
“I… think… uh,” said Callum. “You’ll pay when you can, probably.” He took two steps back and into the Dark and was gone.
I looked down at myself. I wasn’t glowing. “What?”
“Jon, you… you look radioactive.”
And suddenly it hit me. Sometime during that time in Nikola’s cell, I’d adapted to the Dark. seen in three dimensions; seen fully, comfortably, no longer restricted by whatever Callum cast over us.
Damn. I’d done it again. “Glowing?”
Martin nodded.
I tried to stop doing that. “Still?”
Martin nodded.
I waved my hands. “Fuck!” I declared.
Martin took a step. “You’re warm,” he whispered.
“Warm!” I said the word like it offended me.
He stepped closer, and very, very carefully, reached to touch my hand.
Immediate relief. I hadn’t known I was hot, hadn’t known I was burning up like an underground fire, but I was; and from him, coolness, relief, isolation spread over my skin like a healing balm, and I welcomed it.
I could have fought him fought the Lonely's kiss, but why? For a moment, I was all alone, alone in the world, in an ocean of mist and silence, and it was bliss.
Then I was in his arms, trembling, knees weak. “Oh,” I whispered.
“I’ve got you,” he said. “Doused it. Whatever it was. Don’t know how, but… but it worked.”
It worked because I’d wanted it to. Oh, gods. I clutched him, feeling weak as a kitten. “She’s dead. The fake. Died as soon as she knew the original was gone.”
“So you didn’t get a lot of answers, did you?” he said.
“No,” I sighed. “I didn’t even get to learn how the original Nikola got here.”
ALWAYS HERE , the Eye told me.
Sure. That made sense.
“Come on,” he said. “Full day of work, running around inside of mountains, blowing up enemies… I think you’ve done enough, yeah?”
I laughed. “When you put it that way.”
I let him drag me to the bathroom, washing off the grime, the sweat, the workplace . I let him take me to the living room, where I sat on the sofa like a dropped shirt, limp and barely awake, and let him feed me leftover curry.
He made a fuss over the fingertip bruises on my chest, where Nikola had pushed in, somehow. I hardly cared about them.
I cared about him. “Too good to me,” I kept mumbling.
“Oh, hush,” he mumbled back, and got me to bed.
I was exhausted. I had to do most of this again tomorrow? Somehow? Why in blazes had I gotten a job, again?
Martin was already out, eyelashes moving with his dreams, breathing softly.
What was I even truly being asked to do? Was I being used like Jonah had used me before?
I had no way to know that tonight, and I was too damned tired to think about it. And I still had to go to work.
Web Martin, I decided before I slept, was giving me a gosdamned raise.
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hearteyeshayley · 8 months
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13,14,23,76 for the fic ask?
Wow, so many, I love it! Here’s the list of fic author questions.
13. what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?
Don’t re-read until you’re done. I almost always TRY to follow this.
14. how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?
I love a dramatic fight (as you can tell from my fics lol). I’ll usually say the lines to myself and lowkey act out the scene. I think I do feel what the characters feel in a way, because sometimes an emotional scene will end differently than I thought it would. I’ve always thought that’s the magical, mystical part of writing. Like, how did the characters I was scripting end up changing the script? I think it must be I was writing faster than I could think, and reacting purely based on how I think the characters honestly would.
Do I draw from personal experiences? I’d say yes. There’s a common piece of writing advice that I used to hate which is: Write what you know. When I was growing up and writing fantasy that tip just pissed me off. But now I interpret it differently. No matter what over the top or absurd thing is happening in the plot, the character’s emotions should be grounded in reality. So even in a situation I haven’t experienced, I’m usually relying on how I feel or how I’ve felt in the past.
23. Best writing advice for other writers?
I think every writer needs the audacity. Because, what’s stopped me in the past, has been thinking to myself “oh I have this idea but someone else would write it better” or “ugh this is too similar to other stuff, no one needs to read my version of these tropes or this story.” And really you just need the fucking audacity to be like— yes I will fill this word doc and write my version.
Also amazing advice— read negative reviews for stories you love. Because then you’re like— just create, who cares if people like it. I can write something even if it sucks, because someone gave Everything Everywhere All At Once two stars on letterbox so I guess all this shit is subjective.
76. Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of [Fanfic Name]?
Hmmmm you didn’t give a fic name, but I’ve been sharing a lot of cut scenes from my more recent stuff.
I’ll say this— I did a series with 4 short fics called the Wayne Family Fucking Adventures that I wanted to do because I’d never done a series before and I wanted to try it. They’re sort of like my ideas for possible episodes of Wayne Family Adventures on Webtoon.
And I had some more ideas for that!
The Dick Joke…. Dick and Barbara are fighting and the family investigates to figure out what Dick could’ve said that made her so upset (spoiler: he jokingly suggested she dress as Starfire for Halloween)
Damian Vs. The Christmas Tree…. Dick promised they’d decorate his Bludhaven apartment together, but when Damian arrives for the weekend Dick apparently forgot about their plans (he’s working late again). Dami is determined to decorate the apartment for him (it goes poorly) (sad) (Dick comes home and is crushed by guilt) (and an illegally chopped down Douglas Fir) (it has a Hallmark happy ending though)
Wow I just realized, both of those one-shots are just Dick suffering. I guess I was just like, I’ll think it but I won’t create it.
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musingsoflulu · 2 years
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Mountain Lakes 100 Race Recap
"I've always just looked at 100 miles as life in a day. You have all the trials and tribulations of a life in one day." - Ann Trason
I accomplished a very big thing this past weekend. It was one of the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, but what a privilege it is that I was able to choose to do this hard thing.
The day started off at 8 AM along the buttery Pacific Crest Trail and winding back around Timothy Lake. We couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day and the forest provided shade and some views of Hood through the trees. I saw Keiren around mile 7 at the first aid station and we did a little dance and hugged before I continued moving. The next 24 miles were spent listening to a throwback Thursday playlist @katherine-withak put together for me and talking with people on the trail. I went into the race with a goal of getting sub 24 hours (sub 14:24 min miles) which was ambitious but didn't feel impossible after speaking with Anna Mae. I started off conservatively, averaging 11:00-12:00 min miles, knowing that I would slow down later on in the race and also lose time at aid stations. I ended up running with a group of infectious disease docs/professors from Seattle for several miles before I landed at mile 31 to see Logan, Mom, and my uncle David again.
We spent a total of 13 minutes tending to my feet, refilling my pack, taking in some Tylenol and salt tabs, and slathering my legs in diclofenac gel before I set out again. Unfortunately, in the midst of all the chaos, I forgot my phone with Logan and couldn't listen to any more music until I saw them again at mile 57. This stretch was tougher (more ups and downs vert wise) but legs were still feeling pretty fresh and I was in good spirits. Passed a "Disco and Dad Joke" aid station, heard a few dad jokes that were just as bad as you'd expect. Saw an amazing sunset over Mount Hood National Forest. Didn't realize how low I was on water and ran out with about 4 miles to go before I saw my crew again. Made it through though and came into the mile 57 aid station at around 8:00 PM.
I was feeling much worse at this aid station. Getting ready to run for hours alone in the dark felt daunting. My feet had started to develop some nasty blisters and my shirt/sports bra were soaked with sweat from the day. I had packed a long sleeve shirt and spare sports bra, but had completely forgotten to pack a spare short sleeve shirt. My uncle David gave me the Under Armour shirt off of his back and it made all the difference having dry clothes on. We slathered my legs in diclofenac gel again, popped two Tylenol, filled up my bag with all the caffeinated things, and I set out into the night.
Miles 57-83 consisted of me going through most of the aid stations again (this part was an out and back). The climbs were hard. I was very tired, mentally and physically, and had been up for almost 24 hours at this point. I started getting paranoid about mountain lions following me while I was alone in the dark. Every shadow scared me. Every time my life hit a reflector on a course marking, my heart skipped. But another playlist that Kat made me got me through it and I kept repeating the mantra that Alli told me before the race- "It's not always. It's just right now." I said this to myself over and over and over.
By the time I got into the mile 83 aid station, I was still 40 minutes ahead of schedule for my sub 24 hour goal. Mom, Uncle David, and Logan were pretty dialed at this point, lightened my pack for the last 18 miles. Crew was very limited and so many of my friends couldn't be there in person. Logan showed me videos they all created to encourage me - Claire, Mindy, Kirsten, Alli, Dani, Kat, Tay, Bronwyn, Alex, Anne Mae. So much support, so much love. It was completely overwhelming. I was finally able to pick up Keiren at this time to pace me. She was so encouraging, distracting me with stories about her time in the Alps this past month and holding me steady as I went uphill. I had knots in my right calf and left quad that wouldn't go away and every step uphill hurt badly.
Once the sun came up, I got a little bit of a second wind and saw the end was so close. I thought rocks on the trail were potato sacks. I told Keiren that I missed malls because they're so nostalgic. I'm sure I said other very silly things.
I heard the screams at the finish line and ran as fast as I could down the hill, trying to hold it together until I crossed at a time of 23:44. As soon as I did, I broke down crying, hugging Logan and my family so tight. I hugged the race directors, who handed me my sub 24 hour buckle. I hugged Keiren, who was also crying.
I think the most overwhelming part of running 100 miles is how many people were willing to help me get there. Running 100 miles is innately very selfish. Time is suspended and you are solely focused on putting one foot in front of the other. Not to mention the time it takes to train for one. Friends modified their schedules to get in miles with me. They sent me care packages and encouraging messages. My family flew across the country and spent 2-3 days helping me prep for and complete a 100 mile race, all while sleep deprived and jet lagged. Logan made dinner almost every night as I put in the miles after work, walked Harper every morning because I was too tired and needed more sleep, adjusted our weekend plans around my long runs, crewed for 3 days at Wonderland while I ran around Mt. Rainier with friends. He did all of this and never expected anything in return. The most selfless, giving partner I could have ever asked for. I just feel so lucky and so loved.
I don't really know what's next for me. I'm taking a break from training for a while and just plan on doing what feels good for my body and soul. Whatever the future holds, I've taken so much away from this entire experience.
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kissthesungvf · 2 years
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tis the damn season
part two
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j.m.k x f!reader
warnings: (18+) minors dni! | profanity | unprotected sex (wrap it up!)
word count: 1.9k
Here’s the second part to this short story, hope you enjoy! If you missed it, here’s part one !
____________________________________________
"Fuck," you let out as Josh’s lips make quick work of your neck. You try hard to find a way to be mad with yourself for ending up in this situation with him, but it’s hard to do after such a tension filled flight.
"Are you sure you want to do this here?" You half moan the question through half lidded eyes, as you straddle him in the back seat of his rental car, his hands running up your thighs.
You told your parents not to bother coming to pick you up because you had "bumped into an old friend who offered to give you a ride home"- which wasn't entirely a lie. You were definitely about to take a ride.
"I really don't think I could make myself wait any longer,  mama." Josh says, his teeth grazing your skin as he speaks.
The two of you had made it a priority to get off the plane, and to the baggage claim as fast as possible. Running over to the rental counter like your lives depended on it, watching as he hastily filled out the paper work before taking the key.
He then threw both your bags into the trunk, skipping the niceties as he came around, opening the door and gently pushing you into the backseat of the moderately sized sedan, following close behind you.
"I meant here in the parking garage Josh.." you moan out, his hands slipping under your skirt, kneading into the flesh of your ass.
"It's fine, it's nearly empty anyways." He breaths out, taking only a brief pause from kissing you to look around and out the windows before resuming.
"Fine. But if we get arrested, you have to use some of that rockstar money to bail me out."
"Anything for you, babe." He mumbles against your chin, jolting his hips up into you.
His kisses make their way up to your lips, and with each heated kiss, your tongues fight for dominance.  You run your hands down the soft material of his white sweater, down to the button of his khaki pants.
You break the kiss, pressing your forehead to his as you try to focus on the button you've been fumbling with, finally getting it undone.
"Slow down, baby." he jokes as he helps guide your hands.
"Well we don't have all day, I still have to be home in time for dinner. They're expecting me to be in before 7.." you retort, pulling his zipper down.
You work together, lifting yourselves up , you just enough to slide your pantyhose and underwear down to your thighs, and he lifts up sliding his pants and boxers down to his knees.
You waste no time taking his cock in your hand to guide yourself down onto him, causing him to let out a quiet groan.
"Fuck!" You both moan simultaneously as you slide yourself down onto to his length.
"I forgot just how good you feel, mama." He groans, gazing at you through half lidded eyes, “like you were fucking made for me.”
"Shut up and fuck me." You whine, his statement causing heat to rush yo your cheeks.
You place your hand on the back of his neck to pull him into a kiss, beginning to grind onto him. Finding it hard to keep from moaning so loudly that anyone who might walk by could hear.
He kisses back harder, one of his hands grabbing at your hip, the other tracing up your back then pulling you down onto him.
"Keep that up Joshy, and I won't last much longer.." you pant, bouncing up and down his cock.
He smiles, his hands leaving your body only to return and lift up your sweater past your bra. He yanks down hard on the lacy material, letting your breast fall out. Wasting no time, he attacks your nipple with his mouth, tongue flicking against the hard bud, while he palms at your other breast.
You're both a moaning mess, your hands roaming over the smooth skin hidden beneath his sweater, dragging your nails down his chest.
You bring yourself to the very tip of his cock before slowly coming back down, doing that a few times until he can't take it anymore. He moves his hands to your hips, beginning to fuck up into you, causing a familiar warmth to build in your belly.
"Josh," you pant, one hand holding onto the back of his neck the other gripping his shoulder, "I'm gonna cu-"
"Me too mama, be a good girl and wait for me" he grunts, cutting you off.
"Think you can do that for me baby?" He questions through moans of his own, looking up at you through his lashes. You try to respond but you're too fucked out to form words, so you opt for a simple nod of the head.
"Such a good girl.." he strains, on the brink of his own orgasm.
His thrusts becoming sloppy as he finally comes undone, throwing his head back. The sight of him like this alone is enough to finally push you over the edge, cursing his name as it hits you hard.
You fall forward against his chest, eyes closed and chests heaving unison. After a minute or two, you feel his hand cup your jaw, bringing your head up so that your eyes become level with his.
"Missed you." He whispers, closing the space between your lips, smiling into his kiss.
"I'm glad to see you still have it." You joke breaking the kiss, avoiding his previous statement.
"I try," he smiles "..it's been quite awhile, promise I'll last longer next time."
"Next time?" You raise your brow, adjusting your bra and sweater.
"Well I hope there's a next time, or are you just using me for a ride?" He teases, reaching over to his backpack on the floor of the car to grab the Starbucks napkins he had shoved into the front pocket. "Here" he says handing them to you.
"Did you plan on this happening?" You laugh accepting the wad of napkins from him.
"No, just have a habit of grabbing napkins incase my coffee spills or something." He chuckles.
"And I don't know, thought you'd might be busy with family and all.." You finally answer a bit nervous, cleaning yourself up the best you could with what you were given.
"Well if it's alright with you, I would like to see you again (y/n)." He says rather than asking, helping you readjust your skirt.
"Fine." You smile, giving him a nod of agreement.
Fuck it why not? You thought. It's not like anything else exciting would happen while you were back, apart from Christmas and New Years. The days in between the holidays were always slow, you could only lounge around the house so much. And when it came going out with old high school friends, they flaked out a majority of time.
"Yea?" He asks in disbelief, making sure you aren't lying.
"Yes, Josh. Now hurry up, we've gotta get going." You look at him, watching that mesmerizing smile spread across his face.
"Stop staring at me and come on!" You laugh, scooting across the leather seats, pulling on the handle to open the door. You glance at the fogged-up windows as you step out into the chilly air, smiling to yourself thinking back on the past.
Once you're both settled, you begin the drive to Frankenmuth. You pull down the visor, attempting adjust your smudged make up in the small mirror, as you dig through your on-the-go makeup bag.
For a moment it feels like nothing had happened between the both of you, it felt like you left off at a time right before things went south. He smiles watching you wipe the smeared lipstick from around your lips, catching a glimpse of himself in the review mirror noticing the numerous lipstick marks covering his neck and face.
"You mind?" He asks, using his free hand to point to the rouge colored stains peppered over his skin.
"Oh, oops.." you mutter apologetically taking the makeup wipe, leaning over the center console, and gently begin rubbing the lipstick off his skin.
You take your time wiping away the makeup, admiring just how beautiful he was from this close. His long lashes, the dimples in his cheeks, even the small hoop earrings he wore put your mind in a frenzy.
"I didn't mind," he says, glancing over at you for a moment, "but it might've raised some questions from the family.."
You smile at him as you sit back in your seat, reapplying the same lipstick.
The rest of the ride goes by quickly, full of conversation, and Josh's terrible jokes. You frown a bit when he finally pulls into your neighborhood, knowing you'd have to part ways. Even though you knew you would see him again soon, you wished you could be by his side all the time, but that wasn't your reality.
"Well this is you." He says putting the car in park in front of your childhood home.
"Yep." You mumble under your breath. Stepping out of the car, tossing your coat on knowing if you walked in without it on your mother would scold you.
"Want me to come up with you?" He suggests, meeting you at the back of the car, taking your luggage out of the trunk.
"Oh no, it's okay." You say, grabbing the handle of your bag. "Thank you though, for the ride and all.."
"No problem." He smiles, wrapping an arm around your waist, pulling you towards him.
"What are you doing?" You question as he brings his other hand up to your face, placing his index finger under your chin, but his thumb resting on it.
"Saying goodbye." He says softly, pulling your lips to his.
"What if people see?" You pull back a little.
"Who cares?" He says quickly, keeping you from responding as he closes the space between you.
Unlike before, the kiss is sweet and you grimace when he finally pulls away, wanting more.
"I'll see you soon." He smiles giving your side a slight squeeze before stepping away and heading for the drivers side.
"Promise?" You call out, beginning to walk up your driveway, turning to watch as he rolls down the passenger side window.
"Promise, mama." He winks, putting the car in drive, slowly pulling away.
A wave of nostalgia washes over you as you continue to walk up your driveway, it was the same feeling you used to have every night after Josh would drop you off from your late night escapades. It felt different now that you were older though, the thought of sneaking around like you used to, sparked excitement in you.
The rest of night went by rather slowly, you were greeted by your parents with big hugs the second you walked through the door. You caught them up on your life at the dinner table, your dad tried to make you feel better when you told them about the breakup saying "he never really cared for the guy anyways". After dinner, you helped your mother wash the dishes, replaying the events of the afternoon over and over again in your mind, hardly listening to a word she spoke to you.
Instead you focused on how nice Josh’s hands felt gripping your hips, how it felt when he took your bottom lip between his teeth, and the pretty noises he made as you rode him.
Eventually your parents grew tired, saying their goodnights and heading off to bed. You carried you half full wine glass up to your room, setting it on your night stand as you felt your phone buzz in your other hand. It was a text from Josh,
'Is it too soon to say I want to see you again?'
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Posting this here because I feel like standing up for myself. Do I need to? Probably not, but it's going to make me feel better and given I have addressed this type of behavior in the pinned post on my blog, I just feel it needs to be addressed.
I like Michael Jackson and his music. I've sias it before and I'll say it again, I don't care what your opinion of him is so long as you aren't being petty and using it as a means to get under my skin. I understand that people make their MJ jokes and their silly "hee hee" jokes, buy at least they can actually be SEEN as jokes. Even if they may be off color, they still can easily be read as a joke. Fine. So long as those jokes are NOT at mine or someone else's expense, it's whatever. But the moment when you make a "joke" that literally consists of less than 4 words and then get defensive when someone doesn't immediately get the "joke" and turn to insults is just bullshit and stupid.
Below are some screenshots of an interaction with someone who I am going to just consider a troll and won't be interacting with further. I will not say what site this is on, but if you use their mobile app then I'm sure you'll recognize it. While I'm annoyed with them, I do want to make it a point and say DO NOT go after and harass them. It isn't worth the time or effort, and it's just going to cause more problems. However, I didn't hide their username because it's a way to let others know that they are, at least from this interaction and my opinion, a troll.
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As I touched on with them in my final response, this type of behavior and "joke" can, believe it or not, trigger someone's anxiety and ptsd from past events, and that's exactly what this did to me.
I didn't know about Michael until it shook the world and crashed the internet that he had passes away. This was my introduction to his music and his legacy and I loved it. I was in 5th grade and I went gung-ho with the hyperfixation and this lasted until the summer after leaving 6th grade. I got my friends together and we did the Thriller dance for our 5th grade talent show. I bought his autobiography and my family bought me several other books and affordable accessories that I would like. Hell, I got vote the 3ds and Wii copies of MJ the Experience video game lmao.
But... why did my love for him and his music only last those two years?
Because I was bullied. Heavily bullied. I was made a target by all the stuck up girls and stupid boys from then on and I never really heard the end of it until getting into higschool. I was told how the only reason that I liked his music was because I secretly hoped he would kidnap me, take me to Neverland, and rape me "like he did to all the other little boys and girls". Parents of these kids would even chuckle and their kids' behavior ans bullying NEVER was reprimanded, being written off as kids being kids. Whenever Thriller came on at our elementary school dances, I wanted to have fun and dance yet these bullies would make the effort to literally try and trip me and make me fall to the floor and laugh every time and is the reason I stopped going to any school dances until my senior prom.
This bullying made me stop listening to Michael's music. Note that I was roughly 13 years old at this time. I didn't listen to ANY of his music again and probably never would have if it weren't for my one IRL friend surprising me by putting an MJ spotify playlist on in her car while she drove me to the mall for my 22nd birthday.
Note that age gap? 13yrs to 22yrs. I stopped listening to his music for almost 10 years because of the bullying and harassment I'd suffered from growing up. And yes, after that I went into another hypwrfixation because I forgot how much his music helped me relax and just let go for once.
So again, what may seem like a joke to you may not to others and just might trigger their anxiety and ptsd. It sure did for me with this troll and their "joke". When this happens, my ptsd is triggered and I go on the defensive and, as a redhead, get upset. Rightfully upset, at that.
Mind how your "jokes" may come across. It may be funny for you, but for some it brings emotional flashbacks and can trigger someone's anxiety and ptsd.
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bloodscribed · 2 years
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&&. REALM OF WONDER.
a series of fantasy-themed dialogue prompts from chapters 1-3 of the ancient magus' bride by kore yamazaki. some lines have been adjusted to properly fit the rp setting better.
(under a cut bc these got long !!)
chapter one: april showers bring may flowers.
' yes, i've made my decision. '
' yes, sir... ' '
mind your tongue. [he/she/they] can still hear you. '
' i thought [he/she/they] disliked being among people. '
' ahh, as i thought. you can see them. '
' what is your name? '
' there. you may open your eyes now. '
' this is my home. as of today, it is your home as well. '
' as of now, you are an apprentice mage. '
' we are a dying breed, fading from this world. but i, at least, intend to hold on until the end. '
' welcome, [name]. '
' there is no god. '
' i totally forgot to ask for a real explanation. '
' look! an adorable human! '
' if you're doomed to be a mage, we'll gladly do all that we can to help you. '
' you... adore me? '
' um... is it true that you can use magic? '
' you will be a magnificent mage one day. '
' after all, you're practically family now. '
' this adder stone comes from a riverbed, where the hole wore into it naturally. '
' i think that's enough for one evening. let's call it a night. '
' care for a nighttime stroll with me? '
' ahh, foolish child. '
' well, this should be a good lesson. '
' it's so bright out here! ' 
‘ what do you mean...? '
' perfect! the way's even open! '
' but there's nobody there. no one's waiting for you, sweetie. '
' i'm not going. ' 
' i have to go back. '
' it would seem my little puppy has learned where [his/her/their] den is. '
' be gone. '
' i'm sorry. '
' as my apprentice, you can rely on me for such things. '
' it's easy to get lost in these woods at night. i will carry you back to our home. '
' all right. '
chapter two: one today is worth two tomorrows.
' you want to know? '
' i thought you weren't interested in any of that. '
' i don't like pain. '
' how very prudent. '
' ha! i run a business, you know. '
' you do realize that if you don't deny it quickly, i could be in very deep trouble...? '
' did [he/she/they] really propose to you? '
' oh, i suppose i haven't introduced myself. '
' well, there's consequences . '
' i have no idea where to start. '
' want to give it a try? '
' the truth is... i'm not even sure i have a favorite flower. '
' why didn't you tell me? '
' don't be so upset. '
' i'm sorry for making such a mess... '
' what good is a master who doesn't teach his apprentice anything?! '
' oh, so you weren't joking? '
' is she your mistress, then? '
' why must you twist the knife? '
' shut up!! both of you!!! '
' that was awfully blunt. '
' whatever led you here, your past can't change the fact that you're with me now. '
chapter three: the scale distinguishes not between gold and lead.
' i waited outside for two whole hours, you know. '
' i'm but a poor little lamb cowering before the great and mighty mage here. '
' die. '
' that was cruel. '
' three? that's quite a few. '
' payback for the trouble you're causing me. '
' isn't that covered by some commandment from your god or his son? '
' you ask too much of them. '
' is this trouble because of me coming here? '
' a mage's medicines are effective and easy on the body. '
' wait, that really wasn't a joke?! '
' my, my. we have a visitor. how unusual. '
' my apologies for the rough greeting. '
' ah! you were quicker this time. '
' how long will you hide in her shadow? '
' i was politely waiting for you to finish your stories, old coot. '
' i see your penchant for toying with others hasn't changed in the last three centuries. '
' gracious, you're drenched right through. '
' what are you smirking about? '
' it's just adorable to see the little boy playing at being a father. '
' don't be fooled by his appearance or childish pranks. he's even older than i am. '
' done talking yet? we wanna play! '
' has there been trouble here lately? '
' it isn't going to hurt, is it? '
' you are a kind child. '
' all things taste the joys and sorrows of life... and all will know the loneliness of death. '
' the living should not envy the dead. '
' come. i will show you. '
' good night... little mage... '
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Villain (Chap 5)
(Freya POV, 1064 words, I think this was the fastest I ever wrote a chapter, it was done in like 5hrs while I was in class lmao)
(previously called Nightmares and Cries)
chapter 1 chapter 4
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I woke with a small scream, the faces of the kids in my loop running through my mind on repeat. Feeling nauseous at reliving all that death, I ran to the small powder room connected to my own, landing harshly on my knees in front of the toilet just as Enoch burst in.
“Oh, Frey,” he cooed, sitting down beside me and holding back the hair that fell out of my braid for me as I emptied my stomach.
“Hey, hey, hey, hey, look at me. You’re alright, you’re okay, I got you.” He oh so carefully picked me up and placed me on his lap, wrapping his arms around me and holding me close.
“What was it this time?”
“I wasn’t fast enough, again. I didn’t regain control and it was all my fault , Noch. All of it .”
“Ah, ah, ah, you only barely knew about that side of your peculiarity. It is not your fault . Even now, how many years since you first discovered you were peculiar, we still haven’t figured out that side of your peculiarity and that’s okay. How many times has Fiona accidentally grown vines around the house when Hugh flirted with her? How many times has Bronwyn accidentally left bruises because she forgot her own strength? I don’t blame you, and I don’t think the wards in your old loop would blame you either.”
“Well, I think what’s-his-face still has it out for me. Ever since I stopped him from harassing one of the older girls, he’s wanted me dead.”
“Henry is an ass who manipulated you into breaking down and losing whatever control you had over that side of your peculiarity.”
I nodded, having nothing else to say and shifted myself in his lap, wincing as my nightgown scraped against my burns.
“What’s wrong?”
“Hmm?”
“You winced like you were in pain.”
“Can I see?”
“Just my burns from earlier.”
I showed him my arm and then pulled up the skirt of my nightgown until the burn on my thigh was visible. I wasn’t worried about Enoch seeing my body. I had seen most of him over the years and he had seen most of me in return. Sometimes things went wrong and instead of worrying the other peculiars, we’d turn to each other and we’d fix up our injuries. The only one we hadn’t been able to fix on our own was my broken arm from a few years back.
“Holy shit. Claire got you good. Might have to wrap that.” He gently prodded the burn on my arm. “Definitely gonna have to wrap that. The first aid kit still under the sink?”
I nodded, too emotionally drained and in too much pain to speak much.
He pulled the kit out from the cupboard and took out the burn cream and the bandages. He made a grabby motion and I passed him my left arm.
He smeared the cream over the burn then wrapped it up loosely, but just tight enough to keep it from unravelling.
I then adjusted how I was sitting so that he could wrap up my right leg. This burn was worse and I squeezed his shoulder as he fixed it up, wincing at the pain.
He finished securing the bandage then pulled me closer again. “How you feeling now?”
“Tired, arm doesn’t feel too bad, leg hurts like a motherfucker.”
“At least you didn’t lose your sense of humour,” he joked. “But you’re alright? Think you can go back to sleep?”
“Maybe.”
“Can I stay with you?”
“I’m going back to bed now though if you’re okay.”
“I don’t know. Nightmare duty, remember?”
“Noch, please ? I don’t want to be alone.”
“Alright then.” He scooped me up and carried me towards his room. Although Enoch looked like a twig, he was just strong enough to be able to carry me.
As we walked past my nightstand, I snatched my gloves in case I needed them later.
You see, Noch was on what we older peculiars called the nightmare duty. Since both of us were lighter sleepers than the rest, we could hear if the littles had nightmares and needed a hug or a glass of water before going back to sleep. Also because of this, we were given this job way too often, with the excuse of “Well, you don’t sleep anyway,” which just pissed both of us off.
We did, of course, just not as much and not as well. The only time we did was when one of us had a nightmare and curled up with the other in one of our too-small beds. It was unspoken of, though. The other older ones weren’t allowed to so much as think about it, sharing a bed, however innocently, with one of the other peculiars. Miss P didn’t ever bother trying to tell us off about it, knowing that we would do it anyway, if only out of spite, and seeing that we were less snappy after a nightmare. She just told us to be a bit inconspicuous about it and not let the others know.
He gently laid me down on his bed then walked out of the room. I groaned softly and whisper-yelled after him.
“Noch. Noch! ‘Ere you going?”
“‘M waking up Hugh ‘n Fiona, they can take care of the littles, I’m going to take care of you, love.”
And there goes my heart, off skipping a beat.
“Aight then,” I spoke softly, feeling incredibly flustered at his words.
He came back and laid down under the covers with me, wrapping one arm around my waist and tucking the other under my head. I burrowed my face into his chest and breathed in the scent of safety and security. He had always tried his damnedest to make sure I was safe, since day one when he was the only one who could get me out of those fucking manacles that I still bore marks from and still haunted my dreams.
Down the hall, I faintly heard Hugh and Fi walking to the littles’ room. Bron probably had a nightmare about Vic again. They were the most common and the hardest for me to help with, due to my history with him.
With the gentle weight of Noch’s arm around me, I fell asleep once more. This time, much more peacefully and feeling a lot safer.
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chapter 6
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nightcall99 · 2 months
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Notes from 20.2.24
'Nothing here is for me'. Yeah.
Here's some boring ranting about my life. (I'm not here right now, I'm an NPC. Can you tell the difference?)
SM is getting shipped off again for a few weeks to another store, and today he said, Nice knowing you, yeah? I said, We already did this last month, I don't know why you keep popping back here so I have to keep saying goodbye, it's kind of annoying. He said, Yeah I know. Normal friends just continue on being friends regardless of where they are physically, but we've always had a complicated relationship. It's like when you know someone too well, and realise it doesn't translate outside of being in forced close proximity. Anyway, then I saw him at the supermarket after work and I knew he saw me first but didn't say anything. Then I walked past him outside while he was waiting for his Uber and he pretended not to see me, until I said something first. I know I invented all this to show me how I really feel. Which is hurt. We used to be so close. I dunno, I've let everyone go except him. There's just a tiny twinge left and that's why I had that dream yesterday. He was one of the few people in my life who was genuinely a good listener. I used to be able to say anything to him and he was never fazed. It's always me being the good listener.
Anyway, AL is annoying me too. On Sundays, we usually stay back for hours to gossip but I wasn't feeling it. So I invented her getting pissed off at the students because they never pull their weight and so she got into a bad mood and wanted to go home immediately. I was happy because that meant I could go home and read my YA fantasy books. I finish one per day almost. There's nothing else to do. I said it before but I don't leave the house unless it's to go to work. I might go to the supermarket, but that's it. I have no desire to go for a walk. I really need to service my car and pump my tires and fill up the wiper fluid. And go to the optometrist and the dentist but I can't bring myself to. I really need to clean out my closet. Re-string my guitar. Clean off the layer of dust on everything. If I focus in on it, it becomes real. But I don't, so it's not real. And things just work out.
I forgot some part-timer kid's name. Made a joke of it, and now she fist bumps me whenever she sees me. On New Year's day, the fridge broke down causing a temperature excursion for all the stuff in there and that meant I had to contact all the drug companies and figure out if the stock was still viable to use. It's been so busy, so I never got round to it and also I just didn't want to do it. When I came back to work last week after my time off, it had all been sorted out and I didn't have to do anything. I smirked inside my head. Today, some special injections for a patient went missing, two of them at $4000 each (it wasn't out of our own pocket, the medication was organised under compassionate supply for the patient and hence free to them, but still) and I was so feeble and indifferent on the phone explaining to the nurse that I simply don't know where the injections went. I didn't care at all. I thought 'Whatever, it's sorted'. Next thing I know, we get an email saying that more injections will get posted out to us. No worries. Awesome.
Things just work out. I don't feel guilt much anymore. I used to be such a stickler for altruism and morality but the pretence is gone. I see both sides of the coin at all times and it's boring. I'm not a good or a bad person. I just am. I have nothing left. Just this body. I focus on this body. I mean I don't exercise but I make sure I always look pretty. I do my hair. I like looking pretty. I like complaining about it afterwards, that I attracted attention. AL and I are pretty toxic like that, we go to each other and we sneer at men who leer at us. While also using the male gaze to our advantage. Men are stupid and simple and I can get away with things. My manager was too scared to ask me to deal with the fridge breech issue, so SM did it. Yeah, I'm vain. I wouldn't have made it long in this life if I had to continue living here. I don't want to age. There's nothing wrong with aging but personally, I do not want to age. Well to be honest, the real reason I wouldn't have made it long in this life is that I don't know how to look after myself because I have never, ever been tethered to reality. It was just pretending all along. Now I don't have to pretend anymore. I'm just a silly girl, really. AL and I agreed the other day that we're only alive to experience romantic tension. And to look in the mirror. Lmao. If it weren't for my parents, I would have died years ago. I mean, it feels like I was supposed to already be gone by now. This NPC has it's functional limits. It wasn't built for more of whatever the fuck this life is.
Anyway yeah, there's nothing left to live for. Except, maybe beauty. And that's it. I have Venus in Libra, what can I say? I enjoy beauty of every kind. Not the world though. Not planet Earth. Maybe's there's still pockets of beauty out there in the natural world but I don't go looking for it anymore. Trees and ponds and shit are dead. I'm talking about all the things that were inspired by the world, but are not really of it. Never really were. Books, poetry, film, music, photography, paintings, fashion. The idea of love. Being in love with the idea of love. To me, this has never changed. It has always been my constant. These things were never 'real' before and they aren't 'real' now. It was always just something imagined, out of hope or whatever. We created an escape through the creation of beautiful things because all along, we have always been dissatisfied. The ground we stood upon was never enough. And that feeling, it needed to come out. I was born with it.
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