#i went a bit wild with this painting at the end haha

[linefelcei]

✨️"A starlight crown to remember me by" ✨️

#first art of 2024 #yay! #i went a bit wild with this painting at the end haha #asha and starboy #digitalart #digital art #digital painting #autodesk sketchbook #my art

[tarnishedxknight]

A Bit About Lost Civilizations and the Muses' MCU Verse

{out of dalmasca} I've got some thoughts about how I've structured the MCU verse on this blog with regard to Ivalice being a past civilization that's been forgotten by the modern world. Below the cut for length. =)

So I was watching “Paranormal Caught On Camera,” which… it’s an entertaining show, I’m not gonna lie, but let’s be real, it’s kindof kooky, heh. It’s full of pseudoscience, wild speculation, and testimony from “experts” that are anything but. However, they were discussing how these three pyramid formations in Boznia and Herzegovina that were previously thought to be largely naturally formed, might actually be manmade. And people have gone inside them and investigated things and whatnot and it kindof devolved from there because they’re finding spirit orbs and commenting that the air quality inside is better than outside and that the insides of the pyramids are “self-cleaning.”

Just a side note on that because the teacher in me feels the need to clear some things up, lol. As an environmental scientist, I can tell you, it’s probably just that we weren’t producing the same kinds or levels of air pollution back then that we are now, haha. So the air inside the sealed pyramid might be “cleaner” relative to the particulates, ozone, greenhouse gases, and VOCs (volatile organic compounds) that we are either pumping into the air or causing the production of through our destructive human industrial activities. Also, underground structures sometimes have better air because soil, sediment, and plants can filter the air through various metabolic, chemical, and microbial processes. I’d… do an air test for toxic mold, though, haha, because that’s one of the things that has been known to cause the supposed “curses” that befall those who open sealed Egyptian tombs.

Anyhoo… all of the speculation of the “experts” on the show about this led to some to be like… well maybe they knew how to purify air better than us or who knows what their society was like. I was laughing at this point, but actually what one of the commentators said made me this of the MCU verses for my muses on this blog, where they’ve been yeeted from their “ancient” time to the present day. She said, and I’m paraphrasing because she was talking faster than I could type, and I type pretty damn fast, lol:

“The idea that entire human civilizations have been lost and aren’t even recorded in our history books is not a new one. Take the lost city of Atlantis, for example, lost beneath the sea. Who knows what they were capable of, what they knew. It isn’t just that an entire civilization disappeared under the sea, it’s that an intelligent, knowledgeable, and well-informed civilization disappeared under the sea. There is a theory that what we think of now as ancient history, with caves paintings and the invention of the wheel and production of fire and everything… that that was actually a reset button from this earlier, incredibly capable, potentially magical age of human culture that has now been completely lost to us.”

My brain went right to the idea that Ivalice was a lost, dead-end path in human (and others too) civilization that, although it existed before present day civilization, did not directly lead to its evolution. The progress in science, technology, warfare, and magic that Ivalice had was lost, and whatever pieces of it we have now had to be reinvented at some point, organically, from square one. It’s the idea that whatever befell civilizations like the mythical Atlantis, or Ivalice in the MCU verse on this blog, was so catastrophic as to obliterate enough of civilization to cause the majority of its progress to be permanently lost to future generations. And that’s such an interesting fictional, hypothetical rabbit hole for my mind to go down, it’s like total brain candy.

I’m going to stick with the MCU verse on this blog going forward, so I’m talking about Ivalice being in the past of the modern world. What this means is… whatever we “still have today” that’s “left over” from Ivalice… actually isn’t. Those are things that mankind invented again. Developed again. Led to again. Had a need for again. And anything that we don’t “still have” from that lost time period (e.g. magic or certain types of weaponry, aviation technology, alchemy, magic, etc.) were things that were needed then but not now. Or they were things that were invented on a whim, by luck, in a perfect storm type of moment, that didn’t happen again in the “reset button” path that civilization took following the destruction of Ivalice.

And even things like non-human races, ores, flora, fauna etc. that existed back then but not now, have either been lost to extinction, or still exist today… but by a different name. Nethicite poisoning mimics or parallels radiation poisoning in many ways. What if nethicite and uranium are actually the same thing? I mean, I realize they’re different colors when ignited, heh, but it’s all fictional, I’m just using it as an example. What if chocobos were just larger versions of or precursors to the dodo? What if a lot of the “magic” of Ivalice can now be explained today with physics, energetics, chemistry, or other science and technology fields? Or, what if some people capable of “magic” were actually performance artists practicing sleight of hand type tricks and master illusions like today’s magicians? What if some of them just knew how to manipulate or influence the perceptions of others through psychological techniques? My point is, it’s possible that mankind did go down some of the same paths of reasoning, discovery, production, and innovation that they did earlier, and that this is just the natural way that humans evolve their intelligence, but that those things are called very different things and are thought of in very different contexts in more modern times.

I… have absolutely no point to this rant other than that what that one commentator said on this show sent my brain reeling into a really fun mental candy store and I felt like sharing, haha. But I would love more threads that deal with these sorts of things. I don’t know if I interact with any muns who have muses who could/would fill these sorts of roles, but… threads about teaching people from Ivalice to fly modern aircraft or even just showing them quinjets or helicopters and having that meeting of their tech vs. modern tech. Threads about magic users casting different spells and measuring/studying the energy scientifically and actually measuring the resulting effects of the spells to see what’s going on and whether it’s similar to anything they know today. Or taking them to a museum to see the bones and recreated figures of animals, insects, and other things to see if they recognize anything, or showing them relics of what we call “ancient civilizations” to see if they mean anything to them.

I’m obviously not saying do these things in detail in the threads, haha, but I mean just an overview of putting them in this situation and having that collision of past and present. That would be so interesting to write. I volunteer any of my people on this blog for those kinds of threads, and I could also volunteer people like Tony Stark as guest muses if we need someone to take them to museums or to scientifically measure things. But otherwise, thank you for coming to my TED talk on this subject! XD

#{ out of dalmasca } ᵒᵒᶜ #{ headcanons }

[jenny-from-the-bau]

wait you worked at interlochen? whoa my ex went there for highschool and a bunch of my friends went during the summers for music/instrument camps. like I've not been on the campus but I've been there. I literally almost went for the camps but ended up working instead. wild. Also I love kiq and gnc jj so much!! also one of my cats just softly bit my hand then licked it twice. :sunglasses smile emoji:

Okay (1) Yeah! I worked there during the summer from 2014-2016 and had almost no contact with campers, so I will not know anyone unless they were one of the four "interns" in the theater paint shop in 2016

(2) I'm genuinely shocked at how many of you like kiq hahha do you get why I think it needs to be rewritten, though? Like am I crazy for think it's kinda ooc and cringe??

(3) GNC JJ my beloved!! Although, I think KIQ is probably more like butch nb JJ haha

(4) cats are so mercurial, but I love them so so much

#ask #anon #are you sunglasses emoji anon? #or was it a reference to your hella cool cat?? #me ask

[lex-n-weegie]

I keep forgetting to post art ACK-

Okay so!! For my friends(and my bf), I enjoy including their own inserts in my own story. For toh, Laika is part of a small rebellion group called "Visions and Variety," named after Hexside's old art club that she used to run. (Sidenote: it's why they all have black chokers, it's like their group thing)

Here's the two most important members + their palismen! (Click for better quality)

They're the s/is of my brother @loogiballoogi (Milo they/he) and my boyfriend @swapthewoz (Axel he/they). They ship with Eda(romo) and Lilith(QP) respectively!

Rambles about them and their palismen under the cut! Be warned about length haha

Milo does a mix of bard and plant magic, and is considered by most as a protector to any and all palismen. It's how they got their scars, which they're proud of and show them off often. Protecting palismen is actually what got him his own, Little D. They has a particular interest in the glyphs Luz has discovered as well, dabbling a bit in it themself. He's a season 1 character who later takes Lilith's place in season 2 when she leaves the house for good. He and Eda are kind of pinning idiots, Eda the only one out of the two who knows about the other's crush. She doesn't want to confess just yet however, she wants to wait until things are less hectic.

Little Dude is an extremely old Palisman, one of the first ones ever made. He was made by accident, and his original owner has passed long long ago. He was under the Bat Queen's care for a while, though one day while some of his fellow palismen were getting captured, they tried to fight against it and save their friends, only to fail and be put in the same cage. They ended up being saved however, by Milo. During the scuffle they got badly injured, to which Little D got the Bat Queen and asked for help. After all of that was done with, the two bonded and he became their palisman. They were never named, so Milo calls them Little Dude, or Little D for short. His personality is best described as chaotic good.

Axel does a mix of potions and construction, and he spends his time saving wild witches and leading them outside the city. He lost part of his arm long ago, as he used to have a sigil and tried to become the new potions coven head. It, obviously, went wrong, but on the plus side losing the sigil allowed him to practice wild magic again. He's a huge nerd about history and astrology, hench his jacket buttons. He's a season 2 character and gets a full episode with Lilith, Luz, and King. Sometime later, Lilith ends up bringing him to the Clawthorne family home and he ends up living there for awhile. He's also the leader of the current V&V, as Laika felt like she shouldn't be in charge and Milo didn't want to be either.

Icicle was a complete surprise to Axel. After living with the family for awhile, Gwen and Dell seeing just how deep he and Lilith's care was for each other, they decided to officially make him part of the family. Before the decision was made, Lilith shared a book about human birds with Axel, his favorite being a blue lovebird. Sometime later, the Clawthornes pretended that they had a specific request for a blue lovebird palisman, and that they wanted Axel to help carve it. After it was carved and painted, Lilith ended up lightly prodding Axel about what he wanted to do in life, to which he said he wanted to rediscover the lost history of mixed magic. That makes the bird spring to life, and Lilith reveals that surprise! She's his Palisman! Welcome to the family! After some happy tears, he names the little bird Icicle. She's an extremely curious bird, sometimes getting distracted by the simplest things. She feels like she needs to investigate every little thing, think like ADHD the bird

#lexi doodles #milo everglade #axel william depths #friend's self insert #friend's selfship (qpp) #friend's selfship #<- might as well yk #selfship community #self ship community #selfshipping community #self shipping community #other ships: eda clawthorne #other ships: lilith clawthorne #🦉🚪

[appledew]

Atticus is all set! 

Made for  Niiausen on Instagram!

Please excuse the lint!

Atticus is made of custom dyed minky, stiff felt, the tiniest bit of mochi minky. The clothing is made of cotton fabrics, metal studs, plastic chains, stiff felt and vinyl. They stand at about under 19 inches from the top of the head to the bottoms of the feet. the face, paws and chest are machine embroidered and appliqued. the clothing is removable and there is armature in this plush. The spotted detailing on the pants are painted on. The patches are tacked down with heat-n-bond-- the stitch detailing are purely decorative. The vest detailing is heat-n-bond and machine stitched on. The wristband is attached with hook-and-loop; the buckle is stiff felt. The spikes and buttons on this plush are metal findings.

OH BOY! This little one took a little longer than expected to finish. 

The base body is modified from Jian Min’s base body-- the biggest difference is elongating some of the limbs and giving Atticus is slimmer build. 

Dyeing fabric was interesting... oddly, my purple dyes were refusing to stick to the fabric I picked out. I at least got a nice purple-ish blue hue to it. :) The accent color was unfortunately redyed a few times for coming out too dark and purple. ^^; 

Armature turned out to be a struggle to find-- i ended up having to go to my backup shop for the size I needed, but on the brightside, I have more of the size i use coming early next year, haha!

So the claws for Jian Min was a small struggle, so I went for a different route. I ultimately decided to use a strong fabric adhesive to attach them all. I do appreciate the tidier look of the stiff felt, instead of minky-- though they are dust magnets! I did also decide to glue the claws flat on the feet since the flaws on Jian Min sometimes got weirdly distorted when posing. ^^;

NOW THE CLOTHES. PHEW! So patterning wasn’t difficult at all-- I’ve been getting more comfortable doing it. :) Detailing on the other hand... turned into a wild goose chase! The findings, specifically the spikes were difficult to source within the US-- mainly for the size that I needed. I ended up reordering the spikes for both the vest and wristband. But now I have some cool sets of spikes for future projects. :) The buttons were leftover from past commissions, so no issues there! ^u ^

The detailing on the pants were easy! But sourcing the chain was another chase! I was desperately looking for a metal chain(red) but stumbled upon this adorable little red chain! Took a while to arrive, but wow, it is too cute!

The vest detailing on the other hand... For reference to anyone who is using heat-n-bond-- if you aren’t aware, applying too much heat will destroy the bond. :( The red spotting detail was ironed on, but during finishing touches-- the bond on some parts were messed up. Back peddling a tiny bit-- the original plan was to order the fabric through spoonflower using their denim to achieve the lovely gradient that his vest had. I figured it would have a nice “real” feel to the clothing. But in the end, I didn’t have a swatch to see how thick or thin the fabric was and if it would be a good fit for doll clothing. I decided to stick with cotton fabrics. 

The NEWER idea was to paint on the gradients, but unfortunately the paint that I had access to was too watery and came out... not opaque? The finally idea was to make the spots solid.

it worked for the most part, but I wanted to avoid stitches details.

During the final ironing, I noticed large patches of the patches peeling off. A light ironing fixed most of them but the back design was... gone. x. x I ended up stitching the back to as a final decision. Also ended up using plenty or fray check!

Back to the spikes, they were literally screwed in place! To be honest there isn’t much else to say about them minus the small issue of placement. but easy in the end. :)

And I think that might be it! There are plenty of WIPs of Atticus on my Ko-fi and trello!

I’m sure I’m missing something, but wow, this was a project! I hope I did Atticus justice! <3

_______________________

Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/appledew

Trello queue: https://trello.com/b/FZKSnMo7/plushie-commission-to-do-list

Twitter: https://twitter.com/AppleDew_

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/apple.dew

Tumblr: http://appledew.tumblr.com/

Furaffinity: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/appledew

deviantArt: https://www.deviantart.com/appledew

[nightzskii-archived]

Can you tell me the story of how we became friends? <:3 👉👈 it can be as sillyies as you want, or as serios as you can, it can be a mystery or fantasy or what ever! :D it can also be short or long /nf

(<:3c i just wanted to ask something silly and my brain made this up)

@gender-mailman

* hmmmm okay!! sorry that this is relatively late by the way, I kept falling asleep haha :')

* But, everytime I think of how we became friends i think of my source and a different world where my thoughts run wild so I'll be using those two for this!

* There actually was someone in source like you and other people, so its not that hard to be like " oh okay i feel so comfortable saying this "

* I also went on a ramble I'm sorry.

━━━━━━━☆━━━━━━━

How we became friends.. well. At first, I've seen you walk around the kingdom a couple of times, you weren't always aware that you walked by it and sometimes when you were aware we'd have a little chat every time while i was in a disguise (my more human one, but it had demon features)

But promptly after a discussion yesterday, I heard a commotion outside the kingdom and went to check it out to only see you having a misunderstanding with some goops (They're very violent and really territorial if you aren't another goop(scratches head)), I had went to try and calm the situation down but a different goop tried eating you so it was a full on battle with the rest of them while i hid you inside my own goop (don't question, it I'll send the doc about my source and goops after.....)

I won (since I was more powerful (being the son of a god has its perks)) but still kept you hidden until we made it to my castle to which i helped you out of my goop after!! We were chatting and everything to help you calm down from the situation and even some of your friends came by (since they would also walk around the castle with you) to help calm you down

You'd visit a lot after and I'd be waiting for you at the start of the castle since i hadn't known where you lived, and everytime You'd visit or stay for a couple of days we'd have tea at least once and then do all sorts of things

I taught you all about my species and the kingdoms cultures, the different songs (some are actually real songs too (i was excited when i knew this)), the different type of foods (same as some music), how many gods there were and how i was also considered one, a lot of things and i also TRIED teaching you my language but.. it, it didn't work out (teaching meep, goop, zip, beep or anything else is SO HARD HELP. It's like cats meowing but DIFFERENT.) So whenever we'd want to have a private convo out in the open, I'd shapeshift a bit to have the same species as YOU so we could talk in your language instead

We'd always help brush each others fur, and when i first told you my goop was fur you were so surprised i ended up laughing like a tea kettle. I'd also polish all your accessories and clean you clothes while giving you some of mine to wear as I did so, it ended up being like a model thing, where me and some of our friends had to rate the different clothes you wore (I'd keep giving you a 10 because you genuinely did look great in every clothes i gave you :3)

We painted each others nails once, me in my more human form and you just being you as we were gossiping about the latest drama, (I told you about some guys fighting over cabbage and you told me about some glass being knocked over by someones grandma)

There was a time you died too, but i resurrected you and gave the god who did it a scolding of their entire life time (all in a different language too so you wouldn't hear me say some... words)

I also kinda like blessed you. on accident. so that you wouldn't get injured by gods anymore since they were.. extremely powerful (not as.. powerful as me for some reason idk).. and blessing is like, a weird process depending on the god or person trying to get blessed... it wasn't weird for us but it was still like " when thr fuck did i do this " and i still don't know how

Oh yeah!!! I also gave you a personal guard one time but they lost you so fast and we laughed about it cause you were purposefully trying to lose them

#starduzt talks —📂 #max🪐 #stardom! — gender mailman[💌] #Max's Source Talk . . .☆ #tw death mention

[louis-in-red]

OMGGGGGG you’re back!!! TELL US EVERYTHINGGGGG. No detail is too small or insignificant, I want it allllll <3

OMG IT WAS AMAZING!!!

I was actually in the section of the back, but the atmosphere there was CRAZY!! Like people kept doing mosh pits during the most hardcore songs (we call those here “pogo” 🤣) specially during 505, Teddy Picker, Dancefloor. They started with Brianstorm (GREAT OPENER! it hyped everyone out so much since the beginning) and then continued with Snap Out of It and Crying Lighting and the people went WILD!!

I was with a pretty big group (with one of my brothers, his friends and two of my friends) so we managed to secure a spot as a group but during the mosh pits we almost loose my brother 😭 we found him afterwards tho 🤣 we also made some friends during the concert 🤣 everyone was so nice 😭😭😭

I can’t explain it but the energy was through the roof! I couldn’t see properly because there were tall people in front of me haha but I did see the screens most of the time and Alex was so sexy 😭 like I kept screaming “daddy” the whole time because he was so daddy 😭 with his white collar shit and his jacket 😭 Matt was also extra daddy handling those drums in a sexy way 🔥 and his high notes??? SIR!!! Take me 😭

I was actually surprised everyone knew all the songs 🤣 specially the new ones! Like the crowd was a 100% on it and the band felt it! Also the opener was Interpol so the crowd was already pretty hyped for a rock show! I was pretty proud with the Peruvian crowd 🤣 I think we didn’t disappoint and luckily they didn’t have to stop the show. My other brother (who was in the front section) told me one girl passed out but luckily there was security already prepared so they took her out quickly to the emergency room.

I think one of my favourite moments was Do I Wanna Know, even tho it’s not one of my favourite songs, listening it live is a whole different story! And the crowd was so extra during that song! All the songs are better live in my opinion and since Alex’ voice is actually the same as the record, they as a band are just pure magic!

They closed the show with Body Paint (a rockier version) and it was so hot! Like 💯 points to whoever thought it was a good call because it definitely was!! We were already so high and they ended the concert with that song was so on point!!

They played for almost 2 hours which was so good in terms of money value! Like the tickets I got were so cheap considering is ARCTIC MONKEYS, and even the ones in the front were not so expensive (taking into consideration the openers were Interpol as well, I think it was pretty cheap).

Sadly they didn’t play Sculptures even though it was on the official setlist due to technical problems 🥺 so a bit sad about that one but overall I’m still so high from yesterday!! I’m dead tired and already on my way to work but I had an amazing time surrounded by friends and my siblings (we found my other brother at the end of the concert) and even though I’ve only slept for three hours, I’m so happy I got the opportunity to see them because they really know how to put on a show!

Also, I didn’t see this, but my friend told me in one moment (I think during crying lighting) Alex was humping the mic stand 😫 I’m sad I missed that haha but I would’ve probably pass out if I saw that in real life 🤣 my brother who was in the front said Alex was one of the most sexiest man alive and that the band was PERFECT! It was his first concert🥺 so extra special for him!! He now says Alex is his man crush 🤣

Overall… 10/10 amazing experience!! I think all the song choices were on point and perfect to create an electric atmosphere!! They do know how to put on a show!! IM SO HIGH STILL!!! 😭

PS: I loved yelling “perhaps fuck off might be too kind” during Do Me A Favour along 21,000 people 🤭

#arctic monkeys #my show #one I won’t forget for sure

[a-heart-of-flame]

Hi! may i have a reading?

I wanna ask about my next lover. Why will they start like me? what my attractive trates they will find?

Thankyou! Have a great day! R/she/her/🌹✨

Hello R🌹 Thank you for requesting a reading from me! Below the cut is your reading, and if you have any feedback for me once you've gone through it I would love to hear it ♥

This reading went wild! Cards were jumping out left and right haha, lots of energy in this message about your future partnerships.

I asked firstly what a potential partner might find attractive about you [top row]. I got messages that kind of set off my alarm-bells a little bit... To the combination of the first 3 cards in the row suggest that someone will find you attractive because you "let them". You might look the other way about some problematic behaviours, you might control your feelings with a tight rational rein rather than trust your gut and someone might value you because of your successes. This combo paints a picture of someone being attracted to you because you won't uphold necessary boundaries or won't listen to your instincts about their behaviour and thus tolerate their "shit". Now, this could indicate something you have done in the past, or a tendency you have with other people. The 8 of Cups Reversed tells of a stubbornness in letting something go, that needs to be let go. Maybe you hold on to people way longer than they deserve? Perhaps you are scared of walking your own path, of being with yourself or of losing people even though they're not really a good fit for you. When we are genuine and authentic we attract the people who really love us for who we are, rather than the roles we play for them. This is something to consider. After this row I felt I had to ask a second question to really dig into some useful advice for you, and the bottom row is this response. I asked how you might find more genuine connections. It furthers the points in the top row's advice quite well in my opinion. 2 of Cups reversed suggest a letting go of friendships or even breaking up with someone. The suggestion above that you may hold on too tightly to people who ultimately are not good for you, or don't care for you the way you care for them. 5 of Wands reversed puts emphasis on "stop playing games", i.e stop pretending to be something you're not, and also stop letting people play games with you. Ace of Swords; Be Discerning. Be Honest. Hermit: Rely on yourself, do not rely on the validation of others to inform you of who you are. A lot of this reading would suggest you are perhaps quite young, and this is common when we're still trying to find our place in the world. If you're older this could still be an issue for you if you've survived this far by "playing along" with others. This is a sign to take a step into your authenticity instead. Lastly the 5 of Swords indicates a suggestion not to cause or participate in needless conflict. Step away from drama, step away from people looking to cause problems for the sake of it. If applicable; try to let go of a tendency for revenge. I continued with an Oracle Card as I wanted to bring a softer, comforting end to this rather harsh reading:

"I am open to greatness when I release doubt and fear" - This affirmation might be beneficial to you. The reading above suggests that you play along in order to fit in, to survive. This is understandable! However, if you can let go of this fear of rejection, fear of loneliness or the doubt of your worth, the doubt of your own ability, you will find a lot of growth in it and a lot more joy. Much Love, Safi ♥

#safi tarot #R #tarot reading #tarot #ask

[nnatsume]

Okok, i've been balancing making this portrait of someone for their birthday and managing a buttload of schoolwork and groupworks, and I just need some comfort so how do you think would sora, kasa, tetora and midori would react to reader gifting them fully painted portraits of themselves despite having a lot of schoolwork?? - 🐬

a / n : hihi dolphinnie! this took me a little bit to get out, hopefully you don’t mind. please remember that despite all, your health is above any birthday gift or schoolwork and take some breaks every now and then before something bad happens! i hope this can provide you with comfort. i tried something else with this, since this is a pretty specific request!

✦ — SORA, TSUKASA, TETORA & MIDORI receiving fully painted portraits !

☆ — SORA

sora could already feel his heart flutter when you called him over to your table. gleefully, he bounced over to you, to see you standing up with a little, neatly wrapped package. “hoho? what’s this? is this a gift?”, he asked, starry-eyed. a nod of your head answered his question, and just as he was about to ask for who it was, you held the package right to him. the butterflies in his stomach went wild, wings battering against his heart. the colorful polka dots of the wrapping stared back at him, waiting to be torn. he looked as if he found a treasure—which, technically, he did. before even daring to touch the tape holding the package together, he lunged over the table to trap you in a hug. “haha, hehe! sora loves you!”, he shouted in joy. sora doesn’t care what kind of gift it is, he’s happy with anything from you.

prying him off of you proved to be harder than anticipated, he latched onto your shoulders like a leech, nuzzling into your neck. it took him a while to release you, and immediately after he did, he was onto the gift, carefully chipping away at the tapes on the side. whatever was on the inside, he didn’t want to risk being ruined.

the wrappings fell open, and so did sora’s heart. originally, he thought you bought him something, but no, this is painted by hand, he knows the way you paint. and it’s a picture of him-somehow, you made him look much more charming, all the colors melting into each other creating a beautiful picture. “but.. don’t you have lots of work? sora loves it, but sora is worried..”, he confessed, “he will put it up in his room when he gets home! do you want to come with him? sora wants you to take a break before you work again, and he has a new game that he thinks you would like! please come with sora!!”

☆ — TSUKASA

the bell announced the end of class in the afternoon. and as usual, tsukasa waited for the rest of the class to leave, before turning to pick you up from your table. but unusual was how you were waiting there, with a strange square package in hand, wrapped in royal red. suspiciously eyeballing the gift, he made his way over. just what could you have brought? the question was soon to be answered—before he knew, he had arrived at your table and the package was held out to him. by the way his face felt, he thought that his cheeks and his hair nicely matched the fabric. how embarrassing, you’re supposed to be a king, not a stop sign.

he has received many gifts from his unit-mates and their fans, but one from you made him feel very differently. his fingers were already itching to open the package and see what is inside, but he held back, not wanting to be impolite. “thank you. this is.. very kind. but i’m concerned, are you not very busy at the moment? october arrived, and with it came many events.. please take your health seriously.”, he scolded. how incredibly hypocritical of him. “but.. i really do appreciate it, whatever it may be.”

when you ushered for him to open the package, he complied. the wrapping tore under his hands, more and more of the picture is revealed, and with each tear he felt his heart beating faster. the flaps of fabric fell aside, and there was a mirror. there was a picture of him, a chivalrous picture with warm and welcoming colors. if a boy could melt, tsukasa would have melted on the spot. he couldn’t even thank you properly, burying his face in his hands. he really doesn’t know if he should hang that picture anywhere, because the moment he sees it, he will probably melt again.

☆ — TETORA

the moment class ended, tetora was already on his way over to you. after a tiring day, a little dose of you was all that he needed. he managed to shove through the other students, reaching your table swiftly, only to see you dip under your table. confused, he leaned over the edge to peek down to where you were—to see you scrambling through your bag and pulling out a mysterious package. it raised many questions—you almost bumped heads, because he ended up being absorbed in his thoughts. “ah, sorry! i was thinking.. hey, what’s that though?”, he asked. secretly, he hoped it was for him. it did fit his colors, didn’t it..?

even though he hoped it was him, in the end, it still shocked him that it was actually for him. his hands froze when you held it out to him, stuck in the air. holy mother of god, it was actually for him. he felt his soul leave his body momentarily, before coming back to the sight of your concerned face. “oh, no no, i’m fine!”, tetora assured quickly, grabbing the package as if it were made of glass. it was light in his hands, he really wondered what it was.

the paper tore easily in his hands, and the next second, he gasped, eyes wide and filled with stars. a super manly, awesome tetora looked back at him from a canvas. it looked like him, just a hundred times better. while he knew you had talent, he still wondered how you managed to make something so cool out of him. it felt like a meteor shower started in his brain and his stomach. “this is.. this is.. awesome!”, he exclaimed, examining the details of the picture. “this is so cool!! how did you make this? you’re the best! hey, can i show this to the others?”

☆ — MIDORI

as usual, midori was waiting for you outside, tucked behind the school gates and hidden from the others. namely, chiaki, who would attempt to rope him in for another tokusatsu movie—ah, he just wasn’t in the mood for it that day, but then again, he was never really in the mood.. he just wants to go home and rot away in his room. maybe with you, if you managed to find him before chiaki did. why was he doing this again? oh, right, he was waiting for you.

just as he thought of you, he felt a tap on his shoulder. midori almost jumped out of his skin, biting back a yell as to not attract attention. shakily, he turned—oh, it’s you. his shoulders fell again, as he let out a sigh of relief. it was you, and you had something with you. what was that? you held it towards him, was it for him? you brought him something. hesitantly, he took the package from your hand, gazing at it before looking back at you. “wait.. is this for me? really..? but.. i don’t deserve this..”, he uttered, looking between you and the box. he felt something strike on the inside of his chest when you nodded and ushered him to open it.

he reached for the tape reluctantly, looking at you again for confirmation before tearing it away from the paper. the rip was deafening to his ears. when he took the contents out of their wrappings, midori felt like he was being struck again. there was a portrait of him. or maybe it was just a more handsome look-alike? the colors combined so prettily, it triggered some emotions that he didn’t know he had in him. “ah.. this is so beautiful, now i really feel like i don’t deserve it.. here, i’ll pay you in vegetables.. a radish, a carrot.. here, take it all.”

#enstars #ensemble stars #enstars x reader #ensemble stars x reader #sora harukawa #sora harukawa x reader #tsukasa suou #tsukasa suou x reader #tetora nagumo #tetora nagumo x reader #midori takamine #midori takamine x reader #enstars imagines #ensemble stars imagines

[xiaomoxu]

Lucien - From the Heart Date

SPOILER ALERT!!

A date from CN server which hasn’t been released on EN server yet. Might contains some spoiler.

Recently, the company undertook a variety show on love. Today is the first day of filming of the new program.

The gate of the studio is facing a leisure park. After winter, the fallen leaves of the platanus will cover the road and creak when stepping on it.

There are occasional wild boars here, but nearby residents always place cat food for them in conspicuous places, so their lives are quite moist.

He always eats chubby, lying on the fallen leaves in the sun.

It happened that Xu Mo had a lecture today at a nearby hotel, and we made an appointment to have lunch together in this park.

But the work in the morning ended a little later than expected.

When I arrived in the park in a hurry, Xu Mo seemed to have been sitting on a bench for a long time.

The winter sun poured a lot of wine on his shoulders, drawing a warm light on his slightly drooping side face.

After running his fingers across a few lines of headlines on the news, he casually turned a page of the newspaper lying on his lap.

Perhaps disturbed by the sound of the paper, the magpie, which had been resting on the treetops, suddenly spread its wings to win the sky, hovering around the plane trees behind him.

With a "click" sound from the phone, Xu Mo raised his head and met my sight in the golden sun.

I was about to speak, but Xu Mo laughed a step ahead of me.

Xu Mo: Don't be sorry, it didn't take long.

MC: Professor Xu knows how to read minds, he can guess what am I thinking.

Xu Mo: Mind reading is simple, and so will you. If you don’t believe me, you can try and guess what I’m thinking now.

MC: You should be thinking how to punish this late person?

Xu Mo: Well, a good guess.

MC: Why not punish her to eat dinner with Professor Xu at night.

I sat down next to Xu Mo. He put away the newspapers and took out the coffee and sandwiches prepared for me from the paper bag.

Xu Mo: It's a good proposal. However, your new show has received very enthusiastic response. The filming of the last few issues should be very busy, right?

MC: These two days are okay, and no matter how busy the work is, it is no more important than eating with Professor Xu.

I took the coffee and opened the drinking spout on the lid of the cup, and a hazelnut scent spread immediately, making the noon breeze mixed with the sweetness of winter.

MC: How about you, how about today's lecture?

MC: Sneak out during lunch break...

MC: It should disappoint many professors who want to have lunch with you and take the opportunity to exchange a few more words, right?

Xu Mo gave a frank hum, but his expression was always relaxed and casual.

Xu Mo: It doesn't matter, I have a valid reason, they can understand.

He crossed his legs, leaned back in the chair and squinted.

Xu Mo: I told them that I was in charge of the program as a consultant and encountered some problems during the filming, so I had to take the time to communicate with the producer at noon.

I was stunned for a moment.

MC: Professor Xu, based on my assessment of the status quo, it can be understood as: Have you lied to them?

Xu Mo showed a serious expression.

Xu Mo: If the producer is willing to talk to me about the shooting of the show, I think this cannot be called a lie.

Xu Mo: How is it, has the problem you mentioned to me been solved?

During the shooting of this love variety show, something unexpected happened to me.

A female guest told us after the filming of several episodes of the show that she really had a feeling for a male guest on the show.

She proposed an idea and wanted to make a confession part in the program.

This is not only a brilliant idea in terms of program effects, but also fits the theme of the variety show. After several discussions, we decided to cooperate with her in planning.

But the specific way of confession made us tangled for several days.

MC: At that time, we were a little too solemn when we wanted to give gifts. We were deliberately alone and afraid of embarrassment.

Xu Mo turned to me with his arm on the back of the chair, listening patiently.

Xu Mo: And now, is there a conclusion?

MC: Of course~ I am very professional in doing matchmaker.

I vividly described to Xu Mo the opinions that the program team finally reached.

MC: We are going to put her confession note in the clue box in advance.

MC: This is a puzzle-solving session of a two-person team. When the time comes, the male guest will be alone to open the box.

MC: If he is surprised when he sees this note, it will be Happy Ending!

After listening to my description, Xu Mo sighed.

Xu Mo: It takes courage to express your feelings frankly.

Xu Mo: Girls, are always braver than I thought.

The prosperous sunshine shrouded Xu Mo, and I looked sideways at his silhouette overlapping with the light, and every corner of my heart was covered with light emotions.

There are long white clouds floating in the sky, I am holding hot coffee, and my thoughts are also floating slowly.

MC: The moment when ‘liking’ happen, the feeling of heartbeat becomes a seed.

MC: It will grow instinctively, facing the sun and rain.

MC: As for what kind of flower will eventually bloom, it may no longer be important.

MC: The important thing is an instinct.

I leaned closer to Xu Mo, looking at him tightly with my eyes, making a meaningful hint.

MC: As long as this person's eyes look at me, the sun will pour down, and the seeds will surely break through the soil.

He propped his chin and smiled faintly.

Xu Mo: Is it the same instinct as moths attracted to fire?

MC: .....

I suddenly stopped talking.

Xu Mo showed some doubts.

Xu Mo: Did I say something wrong?

MC: Hahaha although it is a bit horrible... but what I think of is a big mosquito lying on the lampshade.

The warm atmosphere was inexplicably broken, and Xu Mo's expression was emotional.

MC: So it's better not a moth, it can be a better looking insect.

Xu Mo: .....

Xu Mo: Haha.... hahahahaha

I don't know why I got into his smile. Xu Mo laughed out of nowhere. He even stooped slightly and put his forehead on my shoulder.

After a while, he raised his head and looked at me, still smiling while talking.

Xu Mo: Well, it's not a moth, it's the instinct of the world's best-looking insect to attack the source of fire.

Seeing that Xu Mo was in such a good mood, I couldn't help but want to tease him a little bit, so I deliberately made a distressed expression, sighed and lowered my head.

MC: What a pity....

Xu Mo: What's wrong?

I took the last bite of the sandwich and patted the crumbs on my fingers, pretending.

MC: The atmosphere was so good just now, I could have taken the opportunity to kiss you.

I caught the slight astonishment in Xu Mo's eyes, and learned his tone mischievously.

MC: I'm teasing you, don't be nervous.

Suddenly he got up and stepped in front of me, bent down directly, and got close to the distance that crossed my breath.

The clear eyes in front of me fell into a pale yellow halo, swaying gentle ripples.

He did nothing, was silent, and looked at me quietly with these eyes.

One second, two seconds, five seconds...ten seconds.

I lowered my gaze subconsciously several times, but every time I lifted it up again, I could see an inch of smile on his lips.

Damn it, lost again!

I turned my face in discouragement, put on a stubborn expression and no longer looked at him, he gave a triumphant smile, and pressed his lips to my forehead.

Xu Mo: Okay, I have to go back to work.

Xu Mo: The spare key is still in the same place. If you can't find it, remember to send me a message.

The voice was soaked with warmth, as if the sun had melted in it all winter.

I feel my auricles are burnt red, nodded.

At the end of lunch time, I hurried back to the studio.

In the afternoon, I mainly took some empty shots with very little content. The ending time was two hours earlier than I expected.

According to the agreement with Xu Mo, I went to his house in advance to wait for him.

When the door was pushed, the wind from the balcony exposed the corridor, blowing a bunch of papers hung on the wall. I quickly closed the door and walked to the paper curiously.

MC: When did Xu Mo paint these...

A thin hemp rope hung on the wall, and seven or eight semi-finished paintings were clamped on them with wooden clips.

All the paintings are me.

I was standing in the snow, I was squatting on the ground to pick up maple leaves, and I was standing in the wheat ears during an outing...

The reason they are said to be semi-finished products is because Xu Mo only gave them half the color.

Many scenes still have traces of sketches, only me and the things around me have color.

It is like a drop of paint falling in water. The color in the middle is dense. The more it spreads, the lighter the color.

But there is only me in these paintings...

I personally made the next decision and took out the easel from the corner of the balcony.

MC: But...

I looked down at my cashmere coat. If I rubbed the paint, it should not be easy to wash.

After a short hesitation, I pulled out a white coat from Xu Mo's laundry basket, which he had not put in the washing machine, and replaced it.

I'll help him wash all these later.

After I was ready, I rolled up my sleeves, picked up the paintbrush and traced Xu Mo's profile on the drawing paper...

Time always flies quickly when you focus on doing things.

When I raised my head again, the window was already a little gloomy, leaving only a faint golden sunset on the curtains.

There was a creaking sound from the door. Once I looked back, I found that Xu Mo had already walked in.

Xu Mo: Sure enough, you were earlier than me.

He put down his briefcase and put on slippers.

Xu Mo: Are you painting?

MC: Uh, yeah~

Xu Mo: It's a good pastime. I'm still worried on the way back. You won't know how to pass the time.

I put aside the paintbrush, stretched my waist, and scratched my wrist.

MC: Although I used Professor Xu's drawing board without authorization, I have a reasonable use.

I removed the half-colored draft from the drawing board and showed it to Xu Mo excitedly.

MC: Although the grading is a little frustrating....

MC: The color of the hair is darker, the complexion on the face is whiter, and the lip color seems too red.

MC: But on the whole, it still shows 80% of the beauty of Professor Xu.

MC: How do you rate it?

Xu Mo didn't speak, but just stared at the painting in my hand and looked again.

He lightened his tone, and gently ran his fingers across the paint on the painting, and the wet color was on his fingertips.

Xu Mo: The painting is so good, I like it very much.

Seeing him a little lost, I shook the painting in my hand in front of him again.

MC: Andㅡit has a little secret!

I took one of Xu Mo's paintings, overlapped the two papers, and clamped it in between.

Although the brushstrokes are different and the colors are very different, the backgrounds of the two paintings can blend together well.

The golden wheat field connects to the azure blue sky, me and Xu Mo are facing each other in the painting, and our eyes intersect.

Naturally as if this is the original picture, there should be two people

MC: It didn't turn over!!! 

Before I painted, I didn't expect that my technique had advanced to this level.

Xu Mo stood behind me at some point, stretched out his hand to embrace my waist from behind, and pulled me into his arms.

Xu Mo: The painting is very good, I really like it.

I look back and stuck to the his side profile.

Xu Mo: I also like the paintings you paint, but if the paintings are the two of us together, I would like them better.

Xu Mo tightened his arms.

Xu Mo: I didn't mean it.

Xu Mo: Otherwise, if you talk about it, people don't have themselves in their memory. How do you draw a picture of two people?

MC: Hm.

MC: You're right.

Xu Mo's chuckle came in my ears. I pressed against the warmth of his chest and looked at the painting in front of me.

MC: Xu Mo, are you painting these, is it something to commemorate?

MC: I look at these paintings. They are all scenes from our previous trips. Some of them are from a long time ago.

Xu Mo: It is a part of memories, but it is not a memorial.

Xu Mo: It's just that these pictures are all in my mind, so I simply painted them.

Xu Mo: Or...

He paused suddenly.

Without urging me, we fell into a long silence.

The setting sun outside the window has completely sunk below the horizon, and in the dim room, the sound of the two people's interlaced breathing one after another

The gloomy light cast our shadows on the wall. From this angle, I saw that his bent waist ridge showed a slight arch.

The skin on the side of the neck is filled with a moist smell, which is the breath of Xu Mo that I am most familiar with.

Xu Mo: MC, there are some people in this world.

He spoke slowly, his voice was always calm, and his arms tightened again around my waist.

Xu Mo: Not realizing that "heartbeat" is the beginning of all beautiful stories

Xu Mo: When they find that they have the emotion of "like", the first thing they feel is uneasy.

Xu Mo: They will choose to suppress themselves, resist the occurrence of "likes", and always remind themselves not to fall into this emotion.

Xu Mo: The heartbeat they feel is a complex emotion mixed with anxiety.

Xu Mo: For such people, it can be difficult to express yourself frankly.

Xu Mo put his chin on my shoulder, and stretched out his hand, rubbing his palm on the drawing paper in front of him.

Xu Mo: I have been practicing this candor since a long time ago.

Xu Mo: What you see is the result of practice.

MC: ....

I was speechless for a while and didn't know how to describe my feelings at the moment.

He suddenly bent over and picked me up, strode to the front hall, and put me on the table.

Dark blue night was thrown into the room, and the deep eyes that were close at hand had dark gutters, and they were silently conveying something.

Xu Mo: Or maybe I paint these paintings just to tell you what kind of flowers the seed planted in my heart bloomed.

The ice layer, which had been covered by snow for a long time, finally cracked a tiny mark and made an inaudible sound, but it clearly fell into my ears at this moment.

What followed was that the invading ice tide finally broke through the heavy ice and flowed into the spring.

I fixedly looked at him, as if finally seeing the person in front of me as the person I knew best.

Xu Mo: You are right, the upward growth of seeds is an instinct.

Xu Mo: Even if you know that you will risk tears when you build bonds with others.

Xu Mo: Even if this effect can be explained by factors such as dopamine, phenylethylamine, norepinephrine, and endorphins, I cannot suppress this instinct.

He paused and took my hand to his lips.

Xu Mo: I am willing to obey this instinct.

All the language that expresses emotions is stuck in my throat, and there is no way to convey and vent it.

Xu Mo smiled and came up.

When our lips touched, I saw the tide surge in his eyes.

Xu Mo: .....

All the senses are overwhelmed by such turbulent emotions, as if falling into the deep sea, the hands we hold together are tightly clasped.

Sanity is slowly being pulled away, only the hot breath is getting stronger and stronger.

I opened my eyes slightly, and saw the most straightforward expression in his eyes, which he always used to be silent.

MC: Xu Mo....

Between my lips and the tip of my tongue, I called his name softly, as if reading a mark on my heart.

Xu Mo: Hm..

Slowly, Xu Mo's lips and teeth went down and gently bit on the side of my neck. I was itchy by him. Several times I tried to turn my head to avoid, but I was caught by him.

He seemed to be aroused, and nibble all the way from the side of the neck to the earlobe.

I stepped back half an inch, and he went one foot in until he forced me to the corner, completely circled into his arm.

MC: Xu Mo, you  shameless...

After I protested in a low voice, he finally let go of me slightly, his eyes full of interest.

Xu Mo: I know.

Xu Mo: But no matter what I want, you will satisfy me, won't you?

MC: Bad guy.

He has an innocent tone.

Xu Mo: Is this a bad guy?

I nodded heavily.

He put on an expression of serious thinking, but reached a conclusion within a few seconds.

Xu Mo: Apart from making you a little irritated, there seems to be nothing wrong with being a bad guy.

Xu Mo: Besides, your face now is really cute.

Xu Mo: People can't help but want to bullied the cute.

MC: ...

MC: You are still righteous!

Xu Mo: Oh, yes.

Xu Mo smiled, buried his head on my shoulder, and exhaled gently.

Xu Mo: MC, Do you know what instinct brings me?

He opened his mouth softly and whispered.

Xu Mo: Happiness.

Xu Mo: A pleasure in which desires are satisfied and worries are filled.

Xu Mo: In other words, it is this kind of happiness that makes me unable to resist this instinct.

His hand slid across my waist, cupped my cheek, and kissed every inch of my skin.

But every time, it was just a light touch.

Not a strong desire, I feel more of a gentle invasion at this moment.

From the side of the neck to the cheeks, from the corners of the lips to the eyes.

Like tides over the ankles and fine sand over the toes.

He distanced himself and looked into my eyes carefully.

Xu Mo: I want to thank the light coming from these eyes.

Xu Mo: Let the seed in my heart bloom a beautiful flower.

Hot fingertips ran across my skin, Xu Mo clasped my hand and pushed me completely against the wall.

The fine kisses linger on the side of the neck, and he sucks lightly and hardly, leaving warm red marks on it.

The night enveloped the city.

The deep night mixed with the beautiful blue slowly spread out, and the deep background color was reflected in Xu Mo's eyes.

Xu Mo: I am glad I did not miss the beginning of this wonderful story.

Xu Mo: As for the ending of this story...

Xu Mo: What do you hope it looks like?

I thought for a while, but couldn't answer.

MC: I didn't think about it.

MC: But it must be better than the beginning.

I stretched out my hand to pull Xu Mo's tie, and skillfully pulled it out of the collar.

However, the brain becomes clear inexplicably under the action of complex sensory organs, and plays back one memory after another.

MC: In fact, at the beginning, I was not always firm, and I was a little uneasy, a little bit uncertain.….

MC: I often feel that you are in front of me, but so far from me.

Xu Mo paused slightly, but did not stop.

Xu Mo: And then?

I tried to think about it, and couldn't help but giggle.

MC: I'm so happy, so happy that could forget this anxiety

MC: You look happy when you look at me, and you are happy when you talk to me.

MC: If you stay with me for a little while, I can even be happy all day.

Xu Mo reached out and stroked the side of my face, sighing in a low voice

Xu Mo: Silly girl.

I pulled on his collar, trying to get him closer to me.

MC: Xu Mo, I want to hug you.

MC: ... also want to be held by you.

Xu Mo pulled me completely into his arms, tightening his arms hard enough to prevent us from leaving a little gap.

I clung to his embrace and kept in mind every bit of his feelings.

Looking back now, maybe all the good stories in the world have their beginnings to follow.

But someone stood in front of me, and I was very happy because of it.

Then he looked at me, and my heart bloomed.

---------- END ----------

I’m sorry if there’s some mistranslation. Kindly tell me if you found some :) thank you for read it~ ^^

#mlqc spoilers #mlqc translation #mr love spoilers #mr love translation #mlqc lucien #mlqc xu mo #mr love lucien #mr love xu mo #mr love date #mldd date #mldd lucien #mldd translation #MLQC

[1d-discourseoftheday]

Thurs 7 Jan ‘21

Z3 Z3 Z3 Z3 Z3 Z3 Z3!!! Firstly Zayn posted a teaser of a red curtain, labeled 'tomorrow', beginning to rise with a snippet of a song-- it's Vibez! Vibez is HERE! NEW ZAYN MUSIC! And hell yeah that's super exciting (and the curtain is reminiscent of the filming at the theater last month I'm hopeful we're about to get that video) but THAT'S not the half of it-- Z3 listings are UP! 'Nobody is Listening' (friend we are ABOUT TO BE and I CANNOT WAIT) is out Jan 15 and has 11 songs (titles unrevealed with the exception of Better, already released, and Vibez). The cover art is a painting of a bright colorful sea of staring faces; everybody looking, nobody listening? Spotify also has Vibez cover art- a cool blocky noir looking painting- and a new photo of Zayn smouldering in a tank top. Happy almost Zayn's birthday to US, and thank you very much!

Liam did a long live today with an also long BEARD (oh shush on his FACE you guys) to talk about Saturday's show, but then he ends up talking to Ben Winston for most of it which is, as you can imagine, a mixed blessing. I mean all that 1D reminiscing is great for dredging up unknown tidbits for us but otoh Ben: the part where Liam puts manager Steve on to say hi to Ben and it's just the two of them is the worst content I've seen in a minute and I mean... Holivia is current..? ANYWAY, before Ben, Liam has his cousin Ross on and tells us Ross will also have cousin Luke playing drums for him at the show Sat, and snippets of all the openers' music are played. They discuss accents, and Liam, as usual, says that he was just on the phone to Louis (relatable I too immediately think of Louis when discussing strong British accents). And then the Ben chat: they talk about the We Are 1D Family fan project at San Siro and how the band didn't know it was going to happen, Liam talks about not wanting to do the Leroy piece for the BSE video (“haha remember I had a meltdown but you made me do it!”:/), and they talk about the two Midnight Memories videos-- we learn that Ben didn't have anything to do with the scrapped first one so he can't release it sorry, and “you guys didn't like it so we had to make a new one in like a week”. Liam: “no I preferred the first one!”, lol. Ben talks shit about not liking You and I (no wonder he did her so dirty), Liam: “WHAT??” and “didn’t Zayn’s high note turn you on a little bit? It had to!” sksksjfa okay calm down there, and then he turns me into the 'had me in the first half' meme when he says his least favorite 1D song is I Would! CAN YOU BELIEVE. He quickly realizes though that no! He means I WANT! Yeah okay that makes more sense but jeez Liam, don't mess with me like that! He also says (not about I Would or I Want), “when I was younger I didn't really understand the songs as much as I understand them now, they mean so much more to me later on in life than they ever have done before, the feeling, the emotions that come through, the lyric as well for some of them.” Oh and Ben mentions the Grammy awards being pushed to March 14 which btw I forgot to say yesterday so there ya go. New date. And last but not least, new LP Act 4 merch! RAINBOW HOODIE! Omg it's so good! The rest is great too but that rainbow hoodie (uh 'hoody' that is hmm why) is soooo nice.

9 am PST came and went without a single Holivia pap pic, but don't worry (darlings) they were just a little late today, though you'll be excused if you didn't realize there were new ones, as they are simply more of the same batch as yesterday's- it was a very exciting parking lot after all, they needed a lot of documentation! Harry grabbing Olivia's arm SO AWKWARDLY is a gem though, I'm starting to have doubts that they're even really friends now that I'm seeing them interact so much tbh. I think the press time excitement was supposed to be the 'candid' pics of them drinking coffee together with Harry in the spa robe (taken... maybe you can guess... YES! it was over the weekend!) but aside from being memed they didn't seem to get much traction. Even so, the press is still all over Holivia ofc and if you only read one article about it PLEASE make it the Harper's Bazaar one that marveled at today's pics “Wilde happened to be wearing the same outfit from last weekend” oh SO CLOSE YOU GUYS, defensively states that Harry was wearing a mask (in response to the many articles out there about people being mad at him for not wearing a mask which yes are very much still up and not being suppressed by HSHQ, btw) but some enterprising layout person placed a picture of him without a mask right under that line, and tells us twice in a row that their relationship is 'very organic'-- definitely 100% truly oBvIOusLy ORGANIC, 'a source' says so. So you can see that clearly it's all very organic. In case you were wondering! STRONG honorable press mention for Vogue though, who declared that Holivia were “already 2021's most stylish pair” with a picture of Harry in his paint splattered merch hoodie and pushed up sweats; but then they also said the other day that larries were people “who ship Harry with Liam Payne”...hey Vogue I really recommend getting an intern if you're struggling, so helpful!

#liam payne #harry styles #zayn #most of my dash – ugh I have holivia blacklisted I do not see it anyway the chicken #me: ugh actual updates JUST LET ME MAKE FUN OF HOLIVIA PRESS ALL DAY #yeah I know not everyone is an I would stan but I' just prefer to believe everyone appreciates as much as me it's how it should be #I'm in the 'spoiled by Icarus Falls an actual epic work of genius' camp and I'm sad this one is comparatively short #but Z knows what he's doing I'm gonna bet it's perfect as is and I can't wait to hear it #I already love Vibez it's so pretty and soft #Liam to Ross- haha this is first time I've been on the phone to you in a few weeks when I'm not drunk. :/ #he also talks about watching the San Siro gig drunk the other day #he does not however say he doesn't have access to any of his accounts he says he DOESN'T KNOW HIS PASSWORDS offhand #that he's just logged in on his phone but can't just tweet from another phone real quick while he's on live #I would say the exact same in that situation and despite tumblr oppressing me rn for the most part no one is controlling my accounts yall #it's NOT THE SAME THING he clearly states that he access to ALL HIS ACCOUNTS on HIS PHONE #Harry Lambert made a flagging joke not relevant to much just a reminder that yeah it's a real thing #and gay people def know about and about the significance of wearing bandanas #I mean the connection of the blue bandana to Louis is a whole other thing ofc but if Harry does mean that by that #he knows very well it isn't the only thing he's putting out there #probably why he steers real wide of ever putting in his pocket lol he truly said fuck your top bottom discourse #7 jan 21

[springday-aus]

Hockey Player!AU with Mark

moodboard link

Group: NCT

Member: Mark Lee 

Genre: fluff, romance 

Additionally: college!au

Type: Bulletpoint AU

Word Count: approx. 2.3k 

→ Inspired by NCT U’s 90s Love! 

I’m gonna be completely honest: I don’t know shit about hockey so apologizes in advance

Mark is a left-winger for the team

he plays for his university’s team and they’re actually pretty good

within the three-ish years that he’s been on the team, they’ve won a couple of championships

it’s not really hard considering that Mark takes everything too seriously

(at least that’s what Donghyuk says during practice all the time)

Johnny somewhere: “okay Mark”

Yuta: “let’s not overreact Mark”

Taeyong: “leave my son alone”

Mark: “I’m a grown adult…”

Taeyong: “shhh”

since he used to play for his team back in hometown, he naturally joined the university’s team

he was a natural and everyone easily took a liking to him

especially since now they have someone to make fun of constantly

by they, I literally mean just Donghyuk

I’m just kidding—it’s all in good fun because it just shows how close they are

Mark is just that one college kid that’s still cute even when he’s not a freshman anymore

the other team members still treat him like the youngest even though YangYang and Sungchan are like

👁👄👁 hello ?

speaking of which, their teamwork is incredible and it shows through their games

and, on the rare occasions that they don’t win, they still have dinner together afterwards

well, it’s less of dinner and more of drinks and strategizing what went wrong—which are kind of depressing but it’s fine

at least that’s what Sicheng says as captain, but it sounds like denial

anyways, even though Ten is the co-captain, they all work to make their play plan together

they all contribute ideas, especially since they’ve been in the positions they’ve been in for, like, ever

anyways

again, Mark is like really good

so you know he got that bombass scholarship

and that’s what really pushes him to do well bc let’s be real, college is e x p e n s i v e

he also likes ice skating in general because the cold reminds him of home

so he’s one of those hockey players that also likes figures skaters and it’s funny because he gets so many weird looks from the others

(altho, Jeno goes with him sometimes bc he’s nice)

back to what I was saying tho: Mark is really good

despite his personality, he’s a bit more aggressive on the ice—considering he’s a forward

Donghyuk, the right-winger: he makes sense

there’s the passive aggressive-ness

Mark? who knew he had some strength to him when it’s actually applied

seriously, have you seen his thighs?

speaking of which, the team serves a lot of looks

which means a lot of speculators that show up to the games

which means lots of fans

people typically come for the looks, but then stay for the games bc the team is very underrated

they actually win games and everything but like

advertising for the team? nonexistent

@stupid college funding distributions that focus on mediocre sports like football

so, where do you fall into the mix? you’re an og stan

you’ve been in the stands since you entered university

it didn’t even have anything to do with the members (altho, it is nice to have some eye-candy)

you just……… like hockey

even if you don’t understand much about it

it’s just… interesting to watch

so, whenever the season rolls around, you go to the games

but to say over the years that you didn’t develop a particular attachment to our boy Mark…… is an absolute lie

so, do you have a crush on Mark?

yes

but also like

who doesn’t have a crush on Mark

this man is literally so talented and nice and adorable and he just makes you want to take care of him all the time and ugh

one of your friends went to a game with you and literally was just like “oh he’s cute”

You: “we know”

he’s def one of those guys who everyone has or has had a crush on at some point

and you are no different

the thing is that you are fine with not ever confessing because you’re happy with just being on the sidelines because you’ve. literally. just been on the sidelines…

the idea of confessing feels ridiculous bc realistically, what would you mean to some guy that literally e v e r y person has a crush on?

the thing is though is that Mark knows you

at least, he knows of your presence

if he didn’t, it would be embarrassing considering that you come to every game - he’s got loyalty unless some people

Ten: “who?”

Mark: “dude”

Donghyuk: “is this another one of your imaginary friends?”

Mark: “I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE”

jkjk , they all kind of know you, considering you’re one of the more consistent faces since they’ve been playing in these games (primarily the home ones bc free tickets for students but still)

you also don’t paint your face or anything—you just show up in your university sweatshirt with a couple of those foam light up sticks or something

again, not that wild like signs with his face or anything

you’re just…. a spectator

but yeah, Mark knows of you as a loyal fan ?

who also is kind of cute when you’re cheering for them

I want to emphasize that you have gone to, like, nearly every game, but the main ones you’ve *always* have gone to are the home games bc they’re more convenient

or the final games bc hello

they’re the finals, why the fuck would you miss the finals

I emphasize this because, when you’ve suddenly gone down with the flu, you literally cannot make it to the finals championship game

you thought: no one was gonna notice your absence anyways

haha, you thought

anyways

your friends figured you were sick from the beginning and were like, my friend, it’s flu season, stay away from me and pls stay at home

(wash your hands kids, it’s still covid season)

so you didn’t go and stayed in and binged watched iCarly or something

meanwhile, during the game, Mark was like

where... where are you???

so homeboy is highkey distracted and lowkey worried bc did you die???

(you were dying bc of your clogged nostrils, but otherwise, no)

they somehow managed to win by a couple of points so it was kind of fine

but the teasing was increased by all of Mark’s friends

i.e. Johnny, Donghyuk, Jaehyun, and everyone else

come on, it’s so easy to make fun of him

but like he doesn’t care about any of it bc he was worried about you

which got him thinking

why is he worried about someone whose name he doesn’t even know? is there something more? why is there something more? he literally doesn’t know you? except that you come to the games and you’re really cute cheering him on? what is this?

you know, ✨just Mark things✨

this bothered him for quite a bit more than he liked to admit

and it’s about a couple of days later

things are normal and you don’t feel like everything is dripping out of your nose

until you’re walking through campus from your class

and there’s some footsteps running from behind you that makes you coil up into a semi-standing ball bc you thought a bunch of frat boys were just excited or some shit

but then the footsteps stop at you and you’re standing there, wide-eyed

in front of an out of breath Mark

he was walking out of his class with Jaemin and he spotted you from across the quad

and immediately ran to you

Jaemin: I was talking but okay

this isn’t about you Jaemin

anyways

Mark is in front of you, panting and you’re just like sir?

You: “how are you out of breath? aren’t you an athlete?”

Mark: “oh my God, you’re just like Donghyuk”

you give him a bit of time (and some water bc he seemed like he needed it)

and once he’s caught his breath, he stands up and blurts it out

Mark: “what happened to you during the championship?”

You: “....................... what?”

seeing you blink at him confused, he can feel his ears reddening when he’s realized the situation he’s put himself into

Mark: “um, I just”

Mark: “I noticed that you weren’t at the game”

You: still confused bc how does he know about you

You: “huh?”

Mark: oh my God this is the wrong person, want to die

Mark: “you know what, I have the wrong person, I’m just gonna bounce I am so sorry—”

he starts backing up, but you aren’t letting him escape

You: “whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa, hold up hold up”

You: “I didn’t even know that you knew that I knew you”

You: “wait, did you run here just to ask me that?”

Mark is full on flushed at this point bc of all the questions and realizations and it’s all crashing down on him all too soon

and now you have this mischievous look in your eyes that remind him of Ten when he’s clowning Doyoung and he feels like he’s made a mistake

a good mistake but still a mistake

You: “is it?”

Mark: “well, you like, show up to all of our games and you didn’t go to the finals so I didn’t know if anything happened”

You: “oh, I got sick and I figured I shouldn’t be going into giant crowds while having my insides die internally”

You: “but, I did hear from my friends, congrats btw”

Mark: “thanks”

Mark: “are you feeling better tho?”

You: “yeah, but like, my throat is still kind of shitty”

Mark: “oh, if you want, I have a couple of friends who might be able to cook something up for your throat”

Mark: “I’d offer to make something, but Kun doesn’t let me in the kitchen anymore after finding out about the egg incident”

You: “the egg incident?”

Mark: “I can’t cook, like. at all.”

You: “I think I’m good, I was just gonna go get some tea to make it less scratchy or something”

Mark: “I can walk you?”

You: “sure”

so you two go to a cafe or something for you to get some warm tea and you two end up talking and you get to know each other a bit

and then you end up trading numbers and you make some time together

since Mark doesn’t have to go to practice until the next season, his time has opened up considerably

sometimes you study together

other times, you go check out some other places nearby campus

(eventually, you did get to try Taeyong, Jaehyun, and Kun’s food, to which there was no turning back at that point bc they make the best kind of food—free)

you’re basically dating at this point and his friends know you as his significant other so

Chenle: “is (Y/N) gonna be here?”

Mark: “no? it’s our movie night”

Donghyuk: “aren’t you dating tho?”

Mark: “what”

he told you he took it casually and cool, but considering how red his ears were getting when he told you………………. cute

Mark: “c-can you believe they thought we were dating?”

You: “is that not what we’re doing?”

Mark: “what?”

you both established your relationship after that and Mark got a lot more shy and it’s super adorable bc it makes you wanna take care of him and ugh

he’s precious okay

also cut to him trying to ask the other guys for advice, but then he gets embarrassed as Johnny and Ten tries to educate him about love

or how Lucas gives him cheesy lines to use on you

these boys are having a field day and Xiaojun and Doyoung have never felt more at peace

anyways

def the nervous type that he can’t even hold your hand and keeps asking if it’s okay

so you’re the top of this relationship bc he’s a shy lil boy

after a bit tho, he gets more comfortable and it’s great

he’ll get teased often right? when it happens in front of you, he just runs to you with a whine of your name and buries his face into your neck

and you end up yelling at someone

it’s cute tho

bc they def see you both as an adorable couple

when the hockey season starts rolling around again, you def spend more time at the practices—whether you’re there to watch, do your homework, or just help motivate him to play better

you started dressing up more too, especially since he gave you his jersey so you started wearing them to the games (and also face paint bc Jungwoo had some extra for an unknown reason)

and you make Mark Lee signs and it’s super cute

Sicheng also invites you to the afterparty dinners bc why not

also, remember that thing I said about watching figure skaters?

you two watch the Olympics for that and it’s like tradition now for you two to settle in front of the tv with snacks and watch them skate

so, since he’s an athlete, he has to be careful with his body bc then like scholarship will go poof

that means some of your dates might be physically limited

like he’ll go mini-golfing with you, but he can’t go to like self-defense classes with you

he’ll go to support you but if his foot gets busted, his coach and the rest of the team will be on his ass and he feels a bit bad about it but like you understand

considering that you absolutely refuse to get on the ice bc hockey is hard people

speaking of hockey, you told Mark he’s hot when he plays and he was FLUSHED

bc like the look in his eyes and the way he carries himself…. reminds you of when you’re doing some more………...steamy activities

anyways, stan Mark Lee

he’s a sweetheart who works so hard and you’re there to provide him with lots of love

#admin grandma #grandma aus #aus #fluff #kpop #kpop aus #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #nct #nct mark #nct u #nct 127 #nct dream #nct aus #nct imagines #nct scenarios #mark lee #mark aus #mark imagines #mark scenarios #hockey player!au #hockey player!mark #hockey player!mark lee #group: nct #member: mark lee

[pebblysand]

novembre, salope parmi les salopes, traitre parmi les traitres.

this post is an odd one. the kind that has been brewing in my head for weeks, thinking of what i would say on the day of, something clever and perfect and respectful. something to honour the dead. now, nothing sounds right, of course. i was once told you should never try and talk in the name of other people, that the only person you can ever speak for is yourself. so, perhaps, here we are.

some of you may already know this (though, if you follow me since my the good wife days, i really do wonder what you’re doing, following this trainwreck for this long, haha) but i was in paris on the 13th of november 2015. if you're not french, the date might not mean much to you, or you may have forgotten it. if that's the case, hopefully, this handy wikipedia article will now jog your memory.

for me, though, november 2015 was: my last year of law school, my first year back from michigan. i'd spent a year in the us studying falling in love, and flew back home sad and heartbroken about a boy. i remember that in paris, the weather was wet but warmer than what i'd gotten used to, i'd moved back in with my mum and would take the dog out on walks at the dog park. there was another boy there, on whom i had a strange rebound crush that led nowhere. i wrote mountains of words that i now cringe at. i was young and twenty-two.

so, yes, i was in paris, that day, but i wasn’t there. not at the terraces, not at the bataclan. i had a job interview that night, for an internship with a law firm i kind of liked. it had gone well. i remember cycling home from it and the cobblestones on the way to the invalides glistened under the rain. i was hopeful - the thought of a job after graduation doing wonders. i know that most people remember their uni years as this wild, multi-year-long party, but i just recall being anxious. about what i was doing, what i was choosing, what path i would take. i was coming up on my sixth and last year (yeah, i have two masters, i'm an educated bitch) and in a bit of a pickle. i felt like i couldn’t stand school anymore, everything seemed vapid and pointless. i wanted life (real life) to begin, but couldn't figure out what i wanted it to look like. all of my friends were applying for traineeships in big law. i guessed i should, too.

i remember being tired, deciding not to go out that night. luckily, everyone i cared about was tired, that friday. my best friend from law school (we'll call her naomi) and her boyfriend were supposed to eat out. a little cambogian restaurant down the street from where she lived (yeah, that restaurant). ended up getting lazy, ordering in instead. we spent a lot of time, the both of us after the fact, wondering what would have happened if they had gone out. having now spent the last few weeks reading court transcripts off twitter, through victim testimonies, i think that no matter who you are or where you look, there were a lot of could-have-s and should-have-s and what-if-s, that night.

now, just to be clear, i’m not writing this as a badge of honour. i'm not writing this to paint myself as the victim i am most certainly not. i am writing this to show and explain the impact that, six years later, a single act of violence can still have on the life of a random bystander. the only thing i can claim is: a) i was living in paris when it happened and b), the attacks had a life-changing impact on my life. that's it. i didn’t survive anything, i just carried on living.

that evening, i found out about what was going on outside over a text alert. i was sitting on the couch, watching homeland with my mother. i waited until the end of the episode to tell her. i watched the news until two, maybe three in the morning. she went to bed much earlier than i did. it never felt like she cared as much as i did. in retrospect, i think she’d seen enough horrors in her lifetime for this just to be one of them.

i remember the president's voice breaking on national tv. i remember his words: ‘dozens of people dead,’ ‘hundreds injured.’ i remember facebook check-ins. i remember the police sirens and the ambulance sirens, endless for days and weeks, and what felt like months on end. i remember hugging naomi the first time i saw her again. we were in line for the security checks before getting into uni. everywhere had new security checks, after november. uni and shopping centres, and even pubs. i remember her tears on my shoulder and me standing there, stock still but unable to speak. i remember the makeshift memorials at republique and the crowd panics. i remember wanting to get out, drawing in millions of people in the streets like we had after charlie. i remember not being allowed to, because public gatherings were forbidden in a state of emergency. we hadn’t caught them all, yet, you see?

i remember feeling unsafe. it is a strange day-to-day that is hard to explain unless you've experienced it. i remember my appointment at the apple store that week to get my iphone screen fixed, and the deserted louvre, with all the tourists gone. me and the mona lisa and a brave spanish couple. i remember going in to eat crepes the next day and crying silent tears into my plate. i remember watching, always watching, whenever i was sitting outside at a cafe and a car with dark windows drove by.

that is still there. whenever i am in france, i people watch and always know where the exits are.

i remember nice, a few months afterwards. the truck down the waterfront. i remember the same tears, the same shaking hands. you may call me unlucky but i am from nice, originally, grew up there. by that point, it just felt like the horror was following me. i remember feeling angry - i still lived in paris back then and it felt like people had moved on. life went on and no one gave a shit.

i didn't lose anyone in nice either, so maybe i'm actually pretty lucky.

i remember that period of history feeling like my life could end anytime, any minute of any given day. i remember looking at what i was doing with the days i did have, law school and the job after that, the big law, eighty-hour weeks and the practice area i’d dreamed of, and this recurring question in the back of my mind: what is this all for? i remember finding out about her, this woman at work and her beautiful, eighteen-month-old daughter, and her partner, killed at the bataclan. she got out, he didn't. i remember really wondering, then: what for?

we're not in contact anymore but i still think about her. often.

i remember cycling into work every day and reels forming in my mind: if i got hit by a car, is this what my entire life would amount to? this shitty job and this shitty uni, and this shitty life i didn’t feel like i’d even really started. i remember feeling ashamed, being like this, because i wasn’t a “real” victim. because i wasn’t dead, because i hadn’t lost anyone, because i wasn’t even there.

i stopped writing after that. for a very long time. (until early 2017, as a matter of fact. you can still see the gap - in my tumblr posts, and on ao3. i think about that often, too.)

eventually, i got better. i won't bore you with the details but it is now 2021. november again, six years later, and my main challenge right now is to do nanowrimo. for the record, if you're interested, i have around 8000+ words on the next chapter of castles. i'm terribly below wordcount, but i have high hopes to catch up over the next couple days. so, again, i suppose what i’m saying is: it does get better. in hindsight, it’s easy to say that i was depressed, maybe a little traumatised. that i was feeling uncertain about my choice of careers, about my decision to leave a boy i loved, that i was feeling stuck at home and aimless and terrified. that what happened, that november, was just the icing on the cake that made me lose my balance for a time.

everything is always easier in hindsight, isn’t it? the truth is that at the time, it felt drowning. but: i was young, and i was proud, and i didn't recognise the signs. i thought people who were depressed wanted to die. i was just terrified. i felt like i could die any moment, and that i'd have lived such an unhappy life, prior to it. i probably should have gotten therapy but this was 2015, not 2021, so i just ploughed on. spent eighteen months struggling but finally turned my life around. i stopped pursuing a career and a life that made me miserable, moved to ireland and slowly, i got out.

since they opened in september, i've now been following the 13 november trials religiously. i’ve dialled into twitter every day and read the transcripts produced by journalists of every victim testimony, every cop interview, every summary of the investigation that led to this. i’m okay, now. happy even. some days have been harder than others, but i suppose that's fair enough when you're spending an hour every day hearing the speeches of people who either got shot themselves, or lost loved ones. my life is so much better now than it was when this happened.

as i said, i moved to dublin, i changed work-environments, i’m seeing a boy who’s cute and funny and who i’m trying not push away, and i’m even writing again. and, i’m listening and reading everything i can on these trials, not because i’m a victim, but because i feel like i owe it to them. as horrible as what happened in paris that day is, it was - for me - the wake-up call i needed. what they went through, in an odd string of butterfly effects, it changed my life. and, i owe it to the real victims of this tragedy to try and understand even a fraction what they went through. i owe it to the accused to try and understand how kids who grew up with me, who went to the same schools i did, ended up with kalashnikovs in their hands, executing 130 humans at gunpoint. i owe it to them to never let that happen again.

i have a great life now, and i’m trying to keep being happy for those who can’t.

and, so, it's the 13th of november again, today, but i don’t really have a clever conclusion to come to. i'll just leave you with this: if you speak french, i encourage you to read this speech by aurelie silvestre, whose husband died at the bataclan. it is one of the most beautiful pieces of writing i have ever read. if you don’t speak french, i will leave you with the wise words of one of my favourite artists, lily allen.

"ever since he can remember, people have died in his good name. long before that september, long before hijacking planes. he’s lost the will, he can’t decide, he doesn’t know who’s right or wrong. but there’s one thing that he’s sure of: this has been going on too long."

(and, if you’ve reached the end of this and are wondering: wait - is this what castles is about? then, yeah, a bit. perhaps.)

#13 novembre #upthebaguette #personal #i have never spoken to a soul about this so be kind. #okay #now call mum #get lunch #then write #lots of love

[dreamii-yume]

food play with daddy trey

food play with daddy trey

food play with daddy trey

Hi! This is still the continuation of Trey’s Birthday Crumbs, despite the fact that it had already passed! ヽ(；▽；)ノ Something happened at Yume’s place that made her unable to finish the rest of his Birthday Crumbs in time so~! Hope you don’t mind if you receive it one day late! _:(´ཀ`」 ∠): I’ll be posting Birthday Crumbs that I was unable to post yesterday because I don’t want to settle for just one Birthday Crumb for Daddy Trey! (΄◉◞౪◟◉｀) im hornii

It started out as simple, childish game of who can smear icing over the other.

You, who thought it would be fun to slap a piece of delicious cake onto the birthday celebrant’s face, was laughing throughout, despite the look Trey had given you right after. Never did you ever thought that he’ll scoop out a piece himself and ran them down on your cheeks. Dumbfounded, of course, you thought it’s just best for you to steal back your honor and let’s just say it all goes down hill from there.

Thank god Riddle and the rest of the Heartslabyul students wasn’t anywhere near. If Ace and Deuce were there, it’ll turn out to be a literal food war with Cater filming all of it and probably uploading it to Magicam where the rest of the world can see the chaos that had befallen Trey’s birthday party. Of course, it would definitely end after the Dorm Leader himself had decapitated you all off your head, risking another comedic timing of an overblot. Luckily for the two of you, none was ever present, probably the reason why you chose this time of all time to play a prank on your senior. With a few wasted confectionery thrown here and there, the both of you had reached each other’s limit and ammo being the food.

Bursting into a fit of laughter, you fell down on the soft couch with Trey still straddling over your stomach, ready to paint your face with icing anytime. “You’re such troublesome kid, who do you think is gonna clean all this up, huh?” Trey raised an eyebrow as if to scold you like a parent to a child, but an amused smirk was on his face. He kept you locked underneath him even as you wriggle out, laughing with your sides hurting. “Riddle’s gonna cut off both our heads if he walks in with all these mess, you know~?”

“Haha~! Don’t blame it all on me! You’re the one who fought back, Trey-senpai” You argued, wiping the tears that had escaped the sides of your eyes whilst laughing like a mad man. “All I did was to poke a little icing on your handsome face and you went to slam a whole piece on me twice as much! Of course, it would turn out like this!”

Trey twitched slightly at the way you casually complimented his looks. “A little, you say~?” A slight vein popped out of his forehead, irritated by your lie as he remembered how that little piece of an icing had on basically knocked his glasses off the first time it landed. “Since when did you become so cheeky, huh?”

You shrugged, smiling ever so smugly, an action you rarely give and yet, Trey felt as if it’s an old friend he hadn’t seen in a while. “Who knows~?” You said, essentially ignoring his point before turning to the side and marvelling at the mess. “Uwah...This will take forever...”

As you were distracted trying to come up with ways to clean the room faster, Trey began to realize his current position. Hovering above you with your body placed between his legs on the couch, his hands supporting his weight so he doesn’t fall off. What a suggestive position and yet, you’re so relaxed and laid-back about it, as this was the most normal position to be in. Almost like you’re not being held down by a guy who can eat you up if he so desires.

With all those icing all over your face, neck, arms, and even thighs, it’s possible, you’re not making yourself any more safer here. Trey glanced down at your body, your shirt were slightly hitched up, showing your soft-looking abdomen. He gulped, any skin exposed on you was making him unusually hungry, like he just wants to take a bite out of you. “Ah, by the way, Trey-senpai, could you please get off now? You’re getting a little-“ You turned back to Trey, only for him to lean in close to your face and licked some icing on your cheeks, like a wild animal. “...heavy...”

“W-What!?” You exclaimed as you began to panic in your spot, moving excessively until Trey gripped your shoulders down. You blushed profusely as he began to go down where you neck is and shivered as you can feel his tongue lapping against your skin. “A-Ah...! T-Trey-senpai...!?”

One of his hand went down, causing you to let out a squeak as you felt how cold it is once it went underneath your shirt, caressing your stomach. Trey finally lifted his head up, his eyes carrying an air of seduction in them. “Sorry, you look so appetizing that I got a bit hungry, you see...” He said, making you blink in confusion as you began to process what that means. He sat up, still won’t leave from his position of being above you with a smirk that never seem to disappear from his face. “But since you’re the one who started all of this...”

“I’ll have you take responsibility for it.” He finished as he pulled up your shirt, exposing your bare torso.

“Eek...!?” You sqeaked in response, automatically clenching on the sofa sheets. Nervous sweat poured out of your pores as you looked up at Trey. “H-Hey...? Trey-senpai, um...”

Reaching out for something beyond your vision, Trey holds out his hand, showing you what seems to be a fair bottle size of honey. You blinked, was that there the whole time or...? You have no idea on where he got that from. As you racked your mind trying to figure on what he was going to do with the bottle, a shiver went up your spine as he began to drizzle some on your bare skin of your stomach. “Trey-senpai!?” You called out again, shifting as he began to spread the sticky substance everywhere he could.

“Come on, I’m not doing anything bad~” He said as he suddenly buried his sticky fingers inside your mouth, earning a muffled whine. He pinched your tongue, forcing your taste buds to taste the sweet liquid. “Honey is good for you.”

You accidentally moaned under his touch, causing a small but smug smile to appear on your senior face but chose to not say anything. Instead, he went to focus back down on your honey-covered abdomen. Sticking out his tongue, he gave it a long sensual lick, enjoying how you practically melt under his touch. You kept on letting out muffled noises as his fingers kept on digging against his throat, spreading the flavor inside your little cavern. Though, you did found your own tongue unconsciously lapping up his fingers, unable to resist the sweet taste of honey from them.

Trey kept on licking you up until there were no more honey left on you, just his own saliva marking you the same spot on where you are. His fingers teased your tongue, enjoying the little whining sounds you make as you struggled underneath him. Licking his lips, he looked up at you before pulling his fingers out, smirking at how flushed you look. “...Well? Are you not gonna fight back~?” Trey raised his eyebrow, a sign of challenge, provoking your ability to act. “It felt and tasted good, didn’t it?”

You glared at him slightly, pouting at how arrogant he looked, but were too dumbfounded to even reply an equally smart comment. Seeing how lost you are for words, Trey chuckled before grinning in victory. “Maybe next time, don’t play with your food, okay?” He said, surprising you as he hoisted your bra upwards, revealing how perked your nipples are. You gasped as he sticky hands grasped one plum breast, moaning as he entangled your nipple around his fingers. He gave the other a fine lick, making them harder by coating them around with his own saliva. “...Because this is what happens to bad kids like you who do.”

You reminded yourself not to take Trey-senpai lightly anymore from that point on. Unless you want to be mistaken as a delicious cake that everyone wants to feast on at least. Everything this guy said should not be taken too seriously nor too lightly, a valuable lesson has been taught...In the hard way.

Haha! Yume doesn’t know how to food play lol I haven’t written anything for it but I thought it’s really interesting to write about it! Little research was done on this so I know how much it reeks of inexperience! (//∇//) Sorry about that~! I’ll promise to improve someday~!

#twisted wonderland #trey clover #Birthday Crumbs (Trey)

[obiwhat]

Hey! I've been reading one of your fics and I kinda felt the need to request one! Your writing is so good! If it's levi/erwin is up to you, but that is the ship I'm usually going with 😍🙃

My rec is; Levi is acting out after his squad is killed (Petra, Eld, Gunter and Oulo/Auro? Ouro? I don't even know anymore-) in the way of how he would let out steam in the underground. He goes out drinking and instigates a fight, intentionally or subconsciously, and ends up getting overpowered by a group of men, probably because of his drunkenness and perhaps because of the injured ankle he sustained after the meeting with the female titan. His injuries after the fight are significant and eventually, he's found in an alleyway (or something), by Erwin who's been worried about his mental state (cause obviously, Levi has been trying to hide it, all though rather poorly), and takes care of him.

I hope this isn't too specific 😅 I take requests myself and appreciate people being as thorough as possible. If not; take whatever you like and run with ut 😄😄

AHH THANK YOU FOR SUCH A DETAILED ASK!! good stuff right here^^ big brain moves^^

Fix You: 

(AO3)

(warning: language, violence, a bit of a emetophobia and drinking ofc)

His heart ached. 

It spread through his chest into every limb of his body, to the point where the horrible throbbing from his ankle felt like a slight ache in comparison.

Every time Levi lost someone, it broke away a little piece of him. Even though he’d never let it see the surface, there were several cracks underneath. When he found his squad; bloody, with limbs dangling from trees and branches, it broke off another rather large piece. 

These were people he had trained closely. Erwin had trusted him enough to assign him a special leadership role in the Scouts and a special operations squad to suit it. When he trained them, he had drilled it into their heads everyday not to die. He gave them every bit of his knowledge on how to survive in the shitty world they had to endure.

He wasn’t a leader. He never had been. Unfortunate people just tended to follow behind him. Levi never knew the right thing to say or how to express what he was thinking, but his squad had still learned quickly. They were smart and skillful and he was… proud of them. Truly.

And their blood still painted that forest floor.

Levi knocked back another shot, numbing the pain for a moment longer. A fleeting escape from the horrors that crept into his mind yet again that night. He was dangling off of his bar stool as he slouched forward even further with his shoulders barely holding his head up. He flagged down the waiter for another round.

It wasn’t exactly clear what had driven him to the rougher side of town, to drown himself in shitty booze. It had a lot to do with his hands, which he refused to look down at. Every time he did, he saw red. Dark crimson. The blood of his comrades. Paired with the echo of radiating pain from his ankle. A pain, he felt, was well deserved.

He wasn’t even supposed to be walking on it, as much as possible at least. Hanji had given him grief about going to an actual doctor for the pain and the swelling. At the moment, he couldn’t find the will to care. As long as he could shove it into his boot and stumble his way into a bar for the night, then he was fine by his standards.

He downed another shot of whiskey, barely feeling the burn in the back of his throat any longer. The room spun, he huffed out a broken laugh quietly under his breath. It’d been years since he’d drank himself to this pathetic point. Not since the underground. Or maybe not since Farlan and…

He threw back the next shot and took in a sharp breath as he stubbornly blocked the memory from surfacing. His eyelids shut tightly as he tried to remove the thoughts of his failures from his mind. All the people he’d failed to protect. Despite his overwhelming strength. 

Humanity’s strongest soldier… 

What a load of bullshit.

He flagged down the bartender once more and asked for the whole damn bottle, slurring his words to the point of near incomprehension. The bartender didn’t seem to mind. Money was money. Even if his patrons drank themselves into a ditch. That’s how it went in these parts of town. Money was the only language anyone spoke, because money was the only way anyone could make it through the day.

It reminded him of home.

He slammed down his money and swiped the bottle from the counter, the bar spun wildly as he stood on his feet again. Levi had nearly forgotten about his injury, the sudden shift of weight onto his ankle sent him stumbling a bit. He hissed in pain, but only responded with another pull of the whiskey, straight from the bottle.

As the chilled night breeze hit him, Levi felt a sudden wave of disgust. It was the smell of sewage and grime. These alleyways were radiating with it. Swaying a bit, Levi grabbed out blindly for purchase. His palm found a brick wall, covered in something sticky. He winced, pain shooting up his leg as the alleyway walls spun dizzyingly around him.

The pain was welcome. In fact, he’d decided he didn’t deserve the numbness that the whiskey brought. He should feel it all. He’d gotten his comrades killed. Again. He wanted to feel something. To hit something.

Levi’s chance was walking down the other side of the alleyway, feet dragging confidently through the sludge of the streets. A group of men walking together, talking irritatingly loud in contrast to the quiet night streets Levi had enjoyed before.

“Haha! He was dumber than he looked!” One hollered confidently.

“What’d you expect from a son of a whore?” A burly man spit as he laughed, his dull voice echoing through the alleyway. He was obviously somewhat of a leader to them.

His last word perked Levi’s attention. He gripped his whiskey bottle tightly in one hand, nearly busting it into pieces.

“That’s a choice word there.” Levi lazily brought up a shaky finger, along with the whiskey bottle, to point in the direction of the burly man. Or at least where he thought he was. His vision was dancing.

The leader laughed a grating chuckle and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “What is, you drunk idiot? You got a problem with the word whore?” 

“I gotta problem with your shit leaking face.” 

Levi growled out his words with a half cocked smirk, looking much like a wild animal in the dark of the alleyway. Although his threatening appearance was subdued by the fact that he could barely balance on his feet, without the help of the wall nearby.

“Haha!” The man belly-laughed once more, drawing near, his companions followed closely behind him. 

“You got some guts, short stuff. Got the chops to back that shit up?”

The leader rolled back his sleeves, his friends followed suit. They were all geared up to fight him. Levi laughed hollowly in the dark. A sick, empty, laugh influenced by the whiskey fueling his veins.

He swung hard at the burly man, a bit surprised to have connected with his jaw. Levi could barely see straight at this point. A hit was coming from his left, which he barely dodged sluggishly before grabbing the man’s arm with the hand that wasn’t still gripping his whiskey. He twisted it, breaking the man’s wrist.

Levi took a slow swig of the whiskey before he caught a glimpse of something shiny out of the corner of his eye, coming from his right. Someone had pulled a knife. Interesting.

It didn’t quite register properly until the next man lunged at him and he barely had the chance to grip his hand before the knife could plunge into his chest. This new face looked angry. Angrier that Levi had felt about the burly man’s comment. The cause of this chosen chaos. In fact, Levi wasn’t feeling much anger at all over this fight. 

The knife drew closer and closer. Levi managed to smack it away, not a moment too soon. The sound of metal crossing the stone ground echoed over the heavy breathing of the group. Levi had placed a heavy weight on his ankle with his last move causing a bit of a wince to unconsciously form on his face. Before he could register what had happened, he felt an even more crippling shock ripple through his entire leg. 

He gasped suddenly, vision darkening.

The whiskey bottle hit the ground, spilling the burgundy liquid all over the stone floor. Glass shards scattered all around.

The man had kicked him, hard, in his wounded leg. Right where he’d shoved his bruised, aching flesh into his boot. Levi’s legs gave out beneath him and his knees connected with the stone below with a loud thud. His palms hit glass in front of him as he could barely hold himself upright.

His head was spinning, swirling, and darkening his vision around the edges as he knew nothing but white hot pain for what felt like an eternity.

“I knew it! He’s got a bum leg!” The man who’d pulled the knife shouted gleefully to the remaining members of the crew. 

He must’ve noticed Levi’s wince from before. The man sent another crack into Levi’s wounded leg, sending ripples of agony through his entire body. It sobered him to another level fairly quickly. The other men were getting to their feet again as Levi quivered on the ground in pain, gripping his palms into glass and whiskey.

Everything was dark around him as another anticipated strike came through, this one connected harshly with his ribs. There was a deafening crack of bone. There was nothing he could do but wait for the next impact. He couldn’t help but yell out in pain as the agony overwhelmed him. Levi nearly passed out as his head hit the cold stone, whiskey and grime covering one side of his face.

With the side of his face, not plastered to the ground, Levi could spot more legs swinging, connecting with his side, and more sounds of shouting. He couldn’t tell if the shouting was his own anymore. He couldn’t feel much of anything anymore, everything was fading out slow. He was fading. 

There were six faces dancing around above him in his hazy vision. His head pounded as he tried desperately to get a grip on his consciousness.

Had there always been six of them? Or were they doubling from his drunken, wounded stupor? They all swirled into a confusing mess of faces. Ugly, contorted, swirling faces. He felt sick.

Another shock connected with his ribs. He heard another sickening crack over their laughs and hollers before his vision finally graced him with complete and utter darkness.

—

Another dead end and no sign of the captain. 

At some point he was going to have to send out a missing report. Erwin was hoping it wouldn’t have to come to that, but after hours of scouring the near entirety of the city and finding nothing, he was beginning to accept the facts. Levi was missing.

Missing. Out of bed. Injured.

Erwin remembered when he first saw Levi’s leg after the expedition. He’d only caught a glimpse when Hanji was looking him over. It was horribly bruised and swollen, raw. A part of him blamed himself, he’d sent the captain to fight the female titan. Yet again, Levi had sacrificed a part of himself for humanity. His wounded leg was a sacrifice, but Erwin knew there were much heavier weights on him, paining him deeper than flesh would show.

This small section of town was not one he expected to find Levi in. It was full of filth and squalor. A familiar sight to that of the underground. Something he’d assumed Levi would never return to willingly. 

A chill was in the air. Cool breeze passed on the outside of his hood as Erwin pulled it over his eyes. He turned into what he assumed was one of the last streets he hadn’t checked yet. There was a group of men who had just left an alleyway quickly, Erwin noticed a bit of blood on their clothes and faces, not exactly a shock in this part of town.

One man was gripping at his wrist and complaining loudly as they passed Erwin by. 

“Piece of shit broke my wrist!” He cried out and kicked a stone on the ground irritatedly.

“Be glad it wasn’t your neck, I bet he would’ve been a lot more dangerous if his leg wasn’t busted. I think he was trained or something. Did you see the way…” Their conversation trailed off as they disappeared around a corner. 

Erwin was no longer listening, he was more focused on a particular phrase in their conversation.

Busted leg? Erwin thought for a moment, fearing the worst in the back of his mind. It couldn’t be…

The commander broke into a quicker pace, sweat dripping nervously down the back of his neck as he followed the alleyway, where the men had come from. It was dark and smelled of filth, blanketed in whiskey. There was glass covering the ground as he walked further, he could hear it crunch underneath his boots with each step.

Out of the corner of his eye, Erwin caught a glimpse of black dress shoes. A body lay slumped up against the brick wall of the alley. A head of dark hair, shadowing a pale and bloody face. 

Levi.

Erwin kneeled down quickly and placed a warm hand on his shoulder, attempting to rouse him gently. His body was shaking horribly, covered in his own blood and the scent of whiskey. 

“Levi…? Please.” Erwin winced as his voice died in his throat. “Say something. Are you alright?”

There was no response. Erwin pushed his dark locks out of his eyes to get a better view of his face. The blood he’d spotted earlier was dripping from his lips which made him immediately check his torso for wounds. He couldn’t find any blood, but when he lifted his shirt carefully, he spotted it. 

Erwin had looked emotionlessly at many wounds before, but this made him winced in sympathy. Seeing black and blue paint the side of Levi’s porcelain, perfect skin made him want to run and find those men from before. But no. Levi was the most important thing right now and he had injured himself even worse than before. 

The thought over his previous injury crossed Erwin’s mind as he hesitantly lifted Levi’s pant leg. If the bruising on his torso was dark, his leg looked like the night sky. His bruises were black and dark purple, spiraling their way up to his knee. The flesh was swollen and warm to the touch when Erwin hovered his hand above it nervously.

How did this happen? Why was Levi here in the first place? He smelled heavily of alcohol, it was probably what was covering his clothes and turning his cheeks pink. Had he come here to get drunk? To start a fight in an alleyway? 

It would be very uncharacteristic of him. But, of course, finding him here in the first place was very uncharacteristic. He wasn’t himself. He hadn’t been for some time now.

Without time to spare, Erwin pulled his cloak off of his shoulders and wrapped Levi’s broken, shivering form. He frowned as he watched the man continue to shake harshly despite the warmth of the cloth. He hadn’t even noticed Erwin’s presence, unusually unalert and dazed.

“It’ll be alright Levi. I’m here now.” His hands hovered over his chest. He’d have to carry him back. “I have to lift you. Please endure it for a moment, we’re not too far from my house.”

Erwin scooped him off of the filthy stone floor and into his warm hold as carefully as he could muster. Levi moaned in pain in his embrace, Erwin pulled him tighter against his chest as he brought them out of the dark alleyway and back into the light.

—

A bath was in order. Erwin knew Levi inside and out. He knew he wouldn’t be too keen on waking up smelling like alcohol and blood. He’d be better if he was cleaned up a bit and his wounds were wrapped. Erwin was determined to fix this. To fix him.

He laid Levi’s still, unconscious body carefully into his bathtub, kneeling beside him and washing off the dirt and the blood from his face with a cool rag. He was so delicate with him, like he was handling fragile glass.

Erwin surprised even himself with how carefully he guided the rag across Levi’s broken skin. He wasn’t used to being this careful and soft. War and death had all but stripped him of these qualities. But not with Levi. With Levi, he was different.

It had been a struggle carrying the captain back, with his wounds being so extensive. However, Erwin had made it to his house in record time without much unconscious complaint from the shivering form in his arms. He had been light. Far too light for Erwin’s liking. 

He tried to ignore the way Levi’s collar bones stuck out slightly as he washed away soap and the whiskey smell with the soft scrub. Erwin couldn’t bear to glance at the curious patterns of bruises over Levi’s thin body or the way his chest rose and fell with a heavy struggle. He just continued to wash away the soap and water.

Erwin scooped a bit of water into his palms and washed it through Levi’s hair, watching as the last of the blood and whiskey found its way down the drain. As the water trickled through his dark hair, down the back of his neck, Levi stirred a bit but never opened his eyes.

“E-Erwin…” Levi breathed through his words, dazed and unaware of his own incoherent mumbles.

“I’m here, Levi.” Erwin gripped his slender hand tight and ran his other across the man’s creased forehead. “I’m right here. You’re alright.”

“No…” Levi mumbled, voice breaking as his eyes pinched together tighter. “Can’t leave me… Not you… too…”

“I won’t leave you Levi... I promise.” 

Such promises were foolhardy in the work they did, but Erwin couldn’t stop himself from making it. He couldn’t stand the way his captain cried out in pain and heartbreak, it was worse than any gruesome scene he’d witnessed. 

Levi leaned into his touch as Erwin cupped his palms around his cheeks and kissed his forehead gently. He didn’t know exactly what possessed him to do so, but it seemed to cause some relief from his captain so he allowed it. 

Once he was clean, dry and warming up again, Erwin took him to his warm bed to rest finally. He dressed his wounds carefully, glad to see that Levi was finally resting somewhat peacefully. He hoped he could now sense his presence at least. To know he wasn’t alone tonight.

Erwin was concerned with the heat radiating from Levi’s ankle as he wrapped it. He was determined to get Levi to an actual doctor in the morning to look everything over. He would command him this time, to ensure he actually did so. For now, he placed a cool rag on the man’s forehead just in case a fever began, which was entirely likely.

He was in rough shape. Erwin had been lucky to find him when he did. 

What if he hadn’t? Would he have caught his death in the chilled night? Or slept on the cold stone ground, injured and alone?

Erwin couldn’t understand Levi’s behavior. It wasn’t like him in the slightest. He was usually so level headed and composed. It made the commander ache to think that this sacrifice had made the man fall so low.

—

A dark ceiling was spiraling above him. One that seemed vaguely familiar. His head hurt too much to even try to deduce where the hell he was. There was a cool cloth placed on his brow, wrappings covered his ribs, palms, and leg, his shirt was missing.

All this spinning was aggravating.

He was going to be sick. 

Levi crumbled off the side of the bed, hardly making it to the floor as his legs refused to hold him. His body was broken, defeated, exhausted beyond belief. A dizzying roll to his stomach made him clutch it in pain. There was a waste bin by the bed frame which he gratefully and regrettably clutched to his chest.

For a moment, nothing happened. He wished it would, feeling unbelievably nauseous and confused. But he could do nothing to help himself rather than sitting there, shakily clutching the bin.

“Levi…” A familiar whisper found him in the dark. 

He jumped and lashed out with a blind strike that hit nothing but air. Erwin’s hand gripped his wrist softly and lowered it, slow. “It’s just me. You’re here with me, at my house.”

Levi’s chest collapsed in breath as he winced again and dry heaved into the bin. Nothing had come from it. He hadn’t eaten enough. He hadn’t eaten much at all… Since… 

Blood… Everywhere… 

He dry heaved again, gripping the bin with white knuckles. Erwin rubbed soft circles on his back. The familiar touch was welcome despite the circumstances.

“You haven’t been eating, have you?” He asked, quiet so as to not upset Levi further.

Levi didn’t respond. Not because he was unable, but because he simply did not want to. It was pointless. He couldn’t have stomached food. Not while looking at the blood on his hands as he chowed down. Not while his comrades were left bloody in those damn woods.

He slid the bin to the ground and brought his knees into his chest despite the pain it caused him. Levi rubbed cruel circles into his thigh as his wound echoed agony through his entire leg.

He heard Erwin inhale deeply. 

“Levi… Why were you…? You can’t just do something like this. What if I hadn’t found you?”

“How did… you… find me?” Levi coughed slightly as his breath caught in his injured chest. 

Something deep inside him almost wished Erwin hadn’t found him at all. He shut it away.

“I came to your room to check on you.” Erwin explained, sounding uncharacteristically nervous. “You weren’t there, so I went looking at your regular spots.”

Levi faced his head towards his chest and buried his face deeper, to try to escape this. He wanted to escape again. It was all too much.

“I didn’t think you’d be in the bar district. It was the last place I tried looking.” 

He’s been looking for me all night then. 

What an idiot.

“Why were you there, Levi?” His voice turned soft, a tone that only Levi had probably ever heard from the man. Something sacred between them.

“Why do you think?” Levi’s tone was more venomous than he intended. If his head wasn’t pounding, he might’ve corrected himself.

“I was worried about you.” Erwin maintained that soft voice despite Levi’s defensive nature. He placed a hesitant hand on the injured man’s knee. 

“With everything going on, I can’t lose you too. I need you.”

He needs me, huh? 

Why?

Levi hadn’t realized he’d asked it aloud. 

“Why?” Erwin repeated his words back to him, looking damaged by the question. “Because…”

The words caught in his throat, at a loss for the right phrasing.

“You’re important to me. To humanity.”

Humanity…

It all feels like a bad joke…

What part of humanity am I even helping if everyone around me gets killed?

“Why’d you even let me train a squad? I just got them all murdered…” Levi felt his chest hitch. 

“Their blood… Erwin…”

He finally risked a glance at his shaking hands and clenched his fists so hard he thought his fingernails might draw blood from his flesh.

“It’s all over my hands.”

Erwin was silent. Without his drawing of breath nearby, Levi wouldn’t have known he was even still there with him. But he was, he knew Erwin would never leave him alone right now.

“No matter how many times I scrub them…” He swallowed a wave of nausea as he could see the red start to blanket his palms again. He felt insane. “I can't clean the blood off.”

Suddenly, large warm fingers wrapped around his slender hands, steadying them for him.

“I can't either.” 

Erwin’s voice was hoarse in the dark. He rubbed a thumb across the back of Levi’s hand softly, despite the pain in his voice.

“I’m sorry.” His words soothed something deep inside Levi’s aching chest. “We’ll never be able to wipe this blood away.”

Levi released a captive breath, leaning forward into Erwin’s chest despite the burning in his ribs. Erwin could soothe it. He could soothe this pain. Even just by a fraction. Levi sunk into him with fatigue in his bones.

“It reminds us of their sacrifice. What they did for humanity. What we will continue to do for humanity, with their strength fueling our fight.”

Humanity… Humanity’s Strongest… 

Never strong enough to save anyone important though… 

No one really needs me… Especially not like this… 

Broken…

“Stop. You’ll regret it.” His deep voice was stern now. A command from years ago. A call back to reality. “You were a good leader to them. They did their duty well. Perfectly.”

“Don’t—” Levi’s voice caught in his throat.

“You taught them well. They were able to live as long as they did only because of you. Because of what they learned from their time with you.” Erwin brushed a hand through his hair softly and held him closer. “You did well by them. They were proud to die under your last command, I can promise you that.”

Levi wanted to argue, to refuse this, but he couldn’t find the strength behind words just yet. He could only be held tightly by his commander and hear his voice next to his ear.

“I saw the way they looked up to you. Worshipped you in some cases. Loved you in others. They would not do this if you weren’t worthy of it.” He pressed further. “Just the idea of you makes our soldiers confident in a future of freedom. It’s not just your physical capabilities, Levi. It’s the strength within you as well. That is why you’re important.”

He meant it. He meant every damn word. Levi had never heard someone speak so passionately about another person. With such vigor and honesty. It made his heart clench painfully in his broken chest.

“You have to continue. For them.” He whispered in Levi’s ear now, soft and comforting. “For me, as well. I need you, most of all.”

Tears finally found their way onto Levi’s cheeks, eyes turning red in irritation. He cursed himself and crumbled in Erwin’s arms completely. 

“God it hurts… It hurts all over.” He couldn’t tell if he was talking about the pain in his heart or the pain in his body. It didn’t really matter as Erwin caressed him softly and made it fade for just a moment.

Erwin didn’t numb him like the alcohol had. He allowed him to feel, to cry, to express. And he held him tightly through it all.

Until the morning sun rose, finding them fast asleep in each other's embrace on the wooden floor. Soft rays of sunlight crossed their cheeks in unison.

#i loved working on this so so much! #thank you so much again for the ask! #my fic #fic request #eruri #eruri angst #levi angst #request #asks #reqs #angst #fanfic #snk fanfiction #aot fanfiction #fanfiction #eruri fanfic #fic #fanart #levi #levi ackerman #erwin smith #erwin #eruri is canon #erwin x levi #captain levi #aot #snk #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyoujin #attack on titan

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

you’re so creepy | part i | ksj ver

Every campus has one. You know - the resident campus creepy girl. This campus has seven. All from in the boys’ POV.

summary: Seokjin is pretty sure his creepy girl is a witch. He’s totally not into that. Well. Unless...?

warnings: non-idol!BTS - university!BTS; alcohol consumption; 18+ for language, ends with a kiss that Seokjin enjoys a little too much; Seokjin’s POV

--

No amount of money or dares could force Kim Seokjin to approach the creepy goth girl. His friends all thought it would be funny for him to interact with the black-haired, thick eyeliner and dark lipstick wearing, brooding young lady that always seemed to show up to these university parties. He did not think it was funny at all. For all he knew, she practiced witchcraft and he was not down with that. Absolutely not.

Okay and maybe she scared the shit out of him.

“I heard she only comes to these parties to feed off the weak,” Kim Taehyung murmured in his ear.

“What does that even mean?” Min Yoongi muttered, raising an eyebrow as he took a sip of his beer. He frowned and glared at it, as if the contents of his cup offended him.

“Well if she’s feeding off the weak, you’re toast, Hobi-hyung,” Jeon Jungkook laughed, seeing Jung Hoseok’s face become panicked.

“Haha, what are you talking about?” Hoseok replied nervously, eyes darting around. “I have tons of courage.”

“Hyung, can you get me something else?” Yoongi nudged him with his cup.

“Yah, I’m older than you! Get it yourself.”

“Yeah, but you were going to get up anyway, weren’t you?” Yoongi tilted his head at him. “You’re standing up.”

He made a disgruntled noise. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

He left them, hurrying off to the bathroom. The goth girl had arrived dressed in a ripped up black sweatshirt and black jeans, milling about with a trail of admirers. The two silver hoops on each side of her lower lip flashed in the bright lights, a stark contrast against her black lipstick. Her long black hair was messy and wild, covering part of her face. Seokjin shook his head. He just didn’t get why anyone would be attracted to someone who radiated eeriness. He went to the bathroom and did his business. He was pretty sure girls like that would never be interested in guys like him. He was clean-cut, wholesome, confident. Too different for someone who looked like they summoned ghosts in their spare time. He washed his hands, drying them neatly.

The door of the bathroom opened and he squeaked, whipping his head around quickly.

It was the creepy goth girl.

“Oh. It’s the pretty boy actor kid.”

She closed the door behind her.

She closed the door.

“W-what?”

“Yeah, the actor major who been avoiding me,” she said absentmindedly. She didn’t even bother to address that she was standing in the bathroom of a random house having this discussion. “I was on stage crew for the play production. You were the lead actor. Ah, Kim Seokjin, wasn’t it?”

“Oh, you remember me?” He laughed awkwardly, despite his mind screaming that he was going to be sacrificed any second now.

“Of course, I remember you, you freaked out every time I was within ten feet of you.”

“I– well, no, of course I didn’t–”

She tilted her head and took a step towards him. He nearly shrieked and she grinned at him. He backed up into the sink and she swooped in, placing one hand on either side of him, pressing close. He could smell the spicy bitterness of her perfume. The holes in her sweatshirt were huge and he could see the black bra underneath it. His eyes widened, his voice dying in his throat.

“They say pretty boy Seokjin is scared of creepy girls,” she drawled, her tongue sliding out and teasing one of her lip piercings. “But you’re not scared, right, pretty boy?”

He was close to screaming but she ground her pelvis against his, startling him.

“W-what are you doing?” he croaked, surprised that his heart was beating so fast.

She raised an eyebrow, looking up at him innocently. Her pink tongue slid out and wiggled slowly in the air, drawing slow circles framed by her black lips. His eyes were glued to her tongue, watching with fascination. Her hands slid up his sides, long delicate fingers with black painted fingernails. One of her hands danced up his shirt, the other snaking around his neck. He couldn’t move. He wasn’t sure if he was because he was freaked out or because he was aroused. She pulled him down, straining on her tiptoes to bring her face close to his.

“Still scared, pretty boy Seokjin?”

He felt her lips press against his, soft except for the hard metal of the lip rings digging into his skin. She bit his lower lip, making him gasp. She took the chance to slide her tongue inside, her other hand dragging her nails down the front of his shirt, setting his skin on fire. He noticed her eyes were closed, lashes dark and outlined with a feverish amount of black eyeliner.

She kissed him roughly, breaking apart with a smirk. He was too flabbergasted to speak. Her lipstick was smeared and messy, but she seemed not to care.

“See you around, pretty boy Seokjin.”

And she turned around and left the bathroom.

After a good five minutes, he exited the bathroom in a daze. He needed fifty drinks to wash the memory away immediately. His dick was fighting to leave his pants at the mere thought of those lip rings and black lipstick.

He found Yoongi next to the alcohol, who seemed to have decided he had the ability to get up and serve himself. His questioning eyes saw Seokjin’s shocked expression and then fixated on his mouth.

“Uh… why do you have black smeared all over your lips?”

-

after the kiss.

--

masterpost

#seokjin x reader #kim seokjin x reader #seokjin scenarios #bts drabble #jin x reader #seokjin fluff