Tumgik
#i’ve been bad and good and okay and good and bad and good! ups and downs all the time but i am a human at the end of it all
finelinefae · 3 days
Note
Bestie I literally just read flower and I’m OBSESSED and I can imagine y/n trying to turn tattooh into a swiftie whilst he tries to explain the rap beef to y/n 😭
no bc this was such a good and unique idea i had to write a little something for it !!
wordcount: 1.3k
. . .
“Okay, so what was it again?” Y/N asked, a dip between her brows as she fastened the bow on a bouquet of flowers she was completing for a baby shower they had been invited to next weekend. 
“So Kendrick-”
“The guy who featured on Bad Blood?” Y/N double-checked. 
Harry chuckles, “I mean he’s also a Pulitzer Prize winner but that too.” She nods, waiting for him to continue, “So he featured on a song with a bunch of other artists basically taking aim at J Cole and Drake-”
“Oh I know him, he posted a picture of him and Taylor on his Instagram that one time two years ago,” Y/N says. 
Harry nods, desperate to finish explaining to her the current online events he had been obsessively keeping track of over the past twenty-four hours, “Right, right. So anyway,” Harry continued to explain the ongoing tension in the world of rap circling the internet with Y/N nodding a long, nothing but confusion on her face. 
Amongst many things, Y/N and Harry’s music tastes were polar opposites. Whilst Y/N loved pop - Taylor Swift, Chappell Roan, Olivia Rodrigo - Harry tended to lean more towards alternate music, genres like rap and grunge or anything before the 2000’s. He loved rock bands like Nirvana and Pearl Jam. On their first New Year’s Eve together, they’d spent the entire night at a karaoke bar in the city, four Shania Twain sons deep by the time the clock hit midnight. 
Although they were at opposite ends of the spectrum when it came to their music tastes, they loved talking to each other about what they were listening to. They would share their weekly Spotify stats over dinner at the end of each week and make playlists for each other to listen to whenever they were taking the train somewhere. 
As Harry finished explaining, Y/N picked up the bouquet and carried it over to where he was sitting, placing it on the table in front of him. 
Even as he was speaking, Harry automatically reached out to slide an arm around her waist beneath her fuzzy, pink cardigan rubbing circles with his thumb over the exposed bit of skin on her hip. 
“That sounds… really complicated, H.” Y/N sighed, “I’d hate to get into an argument like that.”
Harry smiled at how adorable she looked with pouty lips and concern on her face, “Lucky for you flower, y’ much too difficult to get into any kind of argument with.” 
Harry and Y/N rarely had major arguments. Typically, their disagreements were over minor or unimportant matters, often ending with Harry showering her with kisses as an apology or Y/N clinging to him until he forgave her.
“And he wants Drake to die?” Y/N gasps, “That’s awful.”
Harry nods, watching her hands carefully move around the flowers in the bouquet to get them in the perfect place. “Hmm, ‘s not the nicest thing to say to a person,”
Y/N sighed, sitting on his thigh when her legs got too tired from standing. His lips puckered against the base of her exposed neck from where she had tied her curls up with a scrunchie. He inhaled the floral perfume he had bought her for Valentine’s Day. She was obsessed with it, dousing herself in it every morning and before she went to bed.
“Have you listened to Taylor’s new album by the way?” Y/N wondered, turning to hook her leg over his other thigh so she was straddling him. She was pressed between him and the worktop, her arms moving around his neck and fingers fiddling with the curly baby hairs by his neck. 
Harry winced, “Ummm…”
“Harry,” Y/N huffed, “You said you would listen to it so I could talk you through it track by track.” 
“I know! I’m getting to it, y’know I’ve jus’ been busy this week.” Harry stated, which was true. It had been the school holidays and a lot more customers had visited both their shops than usual. 
“The album came out weeks ago,” Y/N said, pushing herself off of him to start putting everything away for tomorrow. 
Before she could take one step, Harry grabbed her wrist and pulled her into him, “I will, baby - promise, I’ll get to it and then y’ can talk for as long as y’ want all about it. Y’ can even put your pj’s on and show me y’ little dance y’ used to do when I heard y’ havin’ y’ little solo parties before we met,” He smirked against her neck. 
Y/N blushed, clearing her throat and moving away. Her eyes narrowed, “You better.” She walked back to the front desk, “And they weren’t solo parties! Marsh was there too,” She said, referring to her little cat. 
. . .
During her lunch break, Y/N reached for her bag to eat the pasta salad Harry had prepared for her that morning before they left for work. When she unzipped the bag, she found his Star Wars lunchbox inside instead of her own.
She slid off her seat and walked straight to his tattoo shop next door, knowing he had probably mixed up their lunches and ended up with her Cinnamoroll one.
She pushed the door open, expecting to hear the strums of an electric guitar or the low grovel of an indie rock band playing over the Bluetooth speakers. But instead, she was shocked to hear the voice of her favourite singer. 
Her heart soared even before she saw him as she walked past the front desk. "Hey Mike, what's with the music?" She asked as if she didn’t know already.
“Harry insisted he put it on this morning. You have to go in there and tell him it’s killing the vibe.” Mike grumbled, taking a puff of the vape in his hand. 
Y/N smiled, “I quite like it.”
“Of course you do,” He rolled his eyes. 
Y/N walked through to the back rooms where she heard the steady sounds of a tattoo gun. Her eyes found Harry, deeply focused on the design he was tattooing on someone’s wrist. 
Y/N stood to one side and waited patiently, “Okay that’s all done,” Harry clicked his tongue, pushing his chair away and wrapping up the tattoo for the customer. 
After the customer had left, she stepped into the room, “Hi Harry,” She beamed, floating over to him. He looked so cute and cuddly today, wearing a grey sweatshirt and black trousers with his usual Doc Martens and a navy-coloured beanie to cover his curls. 
A smile carved onto Harry’s face, “Hi flower,” He removed his gloves and met her halfway, pulling her into a hug and kissing her softly. 
“Missed you,” She murmured against his lips. 
“Miss you always, flower.” He brushed a loose curl behind her ear, “Thought I wasn’t meeting y’ ‘til later?”
“Oh,” She pulled out the lunchbox and handed it to him, “I think we got our lunches mixed up,” 
Harry furrowed his brows, grabbing the plastic bag with his lunch inside only to find her pink lunchbox instead. He chuckles, “Ah, must have been the early morning getting to me.”
“S okay,” Y/N grins, “I like your music choice by the way.”
Harry smirked, “Promised a girl something,”
“Oh really?” Y/N’s grin deepened, “Well I’m sure she’ll be very happy you kept your promise.”
“I’ve been thinking about her all morning, getting to hear her talk non-stop later about her favourite songs.” He says, her arms sliding up his torso to meet at the back of his back. 
She stood on her toes, his head dropping and their noses brushing together, “All morning?” 
“All the time,” He breathes, “Can’t seem to stop thinking about her since I met her.”
“Hmm, well she’s a very lucky girl.” Y/N murmurs.
His lips met hers, the low light above shining down on them as the Tortured Poets Department came to an end and ‘Lover’ played on shuffle over the speakers of his tattoo parlour. 
164 notes · View notes
rimunagenius · 1 day
Text
So Bad
ʚ pairing: Kate Martin x Roommate!reader
ʚ word count: 2.5k
ʚ warning: RPF!! , slight angst?, fluff, sexual tension, two idiots inlove trope
ʚ rimunagenius speaks: sorry this took too long to put out guys…i’ve been trying to write but it’s been so stressful since i broke my foot. i missed a whole week of school so i was trying to catch up and do homework, while doing the current assignment, while doing college classes, and trying to write…it’s been ROUGH. anyways…hope you like this!! it’s a little short but the next part is gonna be long !! just a heads up
Part 5
| Series Masterlist |
Tumblr media
The plane ride to Albany was a little tense. You wanted to go in support of the team because this was a game on neutral ground. You guys had made it to the elite eight and that was something you all wanted but had to fight like hell to get. You were only an assistant trainer, theoretically, you didn't have to be here, but you wanted to be here for Kate and the girls. Your best friends. The girls managed to make sweet sixteen and won, and now it was time for the elite eight. 
You and Kate haven't talked about the night in your living room. You guys just seemed to pick back up where it was to begin with. Jada thought it was great but was also concerned about the will of self-control you two had to have. 
Caitlin eventually found out, pressing Kate about why she had been a ray of sunshine for the last month. She had become the biggest shipper and supporter of you both. Her, Jada, and now Gabbie had known and it felt okay. No hard feelings or bitterness. 
"What room are you staying in tonight?" Kate whispered as she tried to put her face in the small gap between your seat and the side of the plane, you both having window seats in stacked rows. 
"Uh, might have to delete this from the vlog, Kate." You give her a small pointed look as you turn your body, pointing to the small camera you had been using to record a vlog for an Athletic Trainers day in the life. 
"Oh shit, I'm sorry." Kate laughed, knowing how that might have sounded. 
"No, it's fine. But I'm technically under staff, not a student, so I'm staying on the same floor as Lisa, the assistant coaches, and other staff. Why?" She had a small frown after she realized you guys weren't on the same floor tonight. 
"Because I want to sleep close to you."  You were quite confused as she had never had this issue before. It was okay on past travel games because she had Caitlin or Jada, but she was sort of attached to your hip since that night, but you didn't think it was going to be a problem. 
You looked around, seeing AJ and Molly asleep right next to you, before looking back into the crack between your seats. "Isn't that against the whole, not starting a relationship thing, Kate?" You gave her a soft smile, finding it cute and endearing that she wanted to be close to you. 
"I never said we had to share the same bed, I just said I wanted to be close to you. You know, like the apartment?" Your guys' rooms were right next to each other's in the apartment back home. 
"I promise you'll be okay Kate. You can call me in the morning and I'll go to your room to get ready if you want me to?” You suggested, turning your camera completely off after you stopped recording. You set it down inside the bag at your feet before sliding on your headphones. 
You had Chappel Roan playing, the irony in the song that was blasting through your beats, ‘Good Luck Babe!’, and your arm resting on the armrest where you had previously had your face talking to Kate when you felt a hand tap your forearm. You lifted your head from resting on your fist and looked down. Her hand extended palm to you. You frowned softly, appreciating the small acts of affection Kate was always willing to give you. 
You got up on your knees, and looked over the seat, spotting Kate's head resting against the back of your seat, looking down on her phone, sacrificing better posture just to simply be close with you. You sat back down normally, sparing your exposure to spying on Kate, and placed your hand in hers. You two interlocked your fingers and held hands. 
You both knew this wasn't out of the ordinary. But something felt so different about it this time. Knowing the connection you two share and the love you two have for one another is something that hangs a thick fog of tension and uncertainty about what to do with all the emotions. You took a picture of your hands, wanting to capture the small moments of intimacy. 
You truly loved this girl with your whole heart and you were so willing to give it all to her if she wanted it. 
A free day in Albany was granted before getting back to work the next day. So the staff, including you, and the team were free to explore together or separately. It was a lot of the girls' first time in New York so everyone wanted to go sightseeing. You had been looking for an outfit to wear, not much to throw together since you packed a lot of lounging clothes and your Hawkeye gear for the games, when there was a knock at your door. You assumed it was Jada having talked to her on the phone not that long ago talking about getting ready, letting her know what room you were in. "Coming, Jada!" You shouted from the edge of your bed, throwing your clothes back in your suitcase. 
"Not Jada." Kate smiled when you opened the door for her and let her in. You laughed and told her it was because you were also expecting Jada. 
"Kate, I cannot find an outfit." You looked too stressed for a small team exploration outing. You sighed as you proceeded to dig through the suitcase some more. 
"Relax, you'll find something. Let me see what you have." Kate walked over, standing impossibly close next to you while she helped neatly pick out clothes and placed them on the bed still neatly folded. She picked what seemed to be your black flare leggings and your all-black long-sleeve. "That's cute. What shoes did you bring?" 
You looked at her, jaw dropped. There was no way the most plain, midwestern masc, was dressing you in something cute. You pointed to the black and yellow dunks that the Iowa staff gifted you this season. "Okay, wear those shoes with your Iowa puffer vest? Basic but still you." Kate shrugged, mumbling a small 'I don't know though.' 
"I love it. Thank you, Kate." You smiled softly, disappearing into the bathroom. She nodded softly, before sitting down on the edge of the bed, placing some clothes back into your suitcase, before sipping on the water she had in her hands. Your phone pinged. 
Notification from Jada, texting she was on the way up to the room. "Jada's on her way," Kate said, pausing after seeing your lock screen. The picture of you and Kate holding hands. Her cheeks turned red, sudden butterflies in her belly and her palms growing clammy, it didn't help you came out of the bathroom, fully dressed. You looked so beautiful…she was in deep. 
"How do I look?" You asked, posing with hands on your hips. You saw how red her face was, and the way she just slowly dragged her eyes up your body. It made you shuffle of nervousness, suddenly so nervous under her gaze. 
"So gorgeous, sunshine." The nickname gave you butterflies, not having heard in a while. Not since before you confessed your feelings to her. Suddenly that name felt like you were carrying a new title to her. 
"You think? Looks like you know to dress after all." You teased, and she stood up before taking your hand and spinning you. 
"Oh, yup! This fit is so cute!" She needed to act normal, especially before Jada came in and noticed the tension between the two of you. It's like you both just wanted to hurry up time and get to the good part. You wanted each other so bad but you two made a deal. After the tourney, you could be together. You were almost there. 
You spun back around to face her, immediately wanting to kiss her. You two stood so close, your self-control wearing thin as you saw her eyes dart from each of your eyes, down to your lips, and doing it all over again. One hand of hers now ghosting your hip, wanting to pull you in closer. 
"We can't, remember?" You don't know why you said it. You should've let it happen. You could've but Kate said you two should wait, so you needed to say something. 
"Why not?" Her whisper sounded desperate. 
"Because you said so." 
"When do you ever listen to me anyways, gorgeous?" Her lips were so impossibly close to yours, you damn near almost fell to your knees. Her other hand found your waist, her slowly inching your chest against hers when a knock on the door was heard. 
She dropped her hands from you, your body already missing the feeling of her and the sensation she forced through your whole body. Catching your breath, you walked to the door and opened it for Jada who was accompanied by Gabbie and Caitlin. 
"You guys ready to sightsee!" Caitlin's enthusiasm through the roof as always, made you laugh as you walked away from the door to grab your shoes next to your bed. You didn't miss the way Kate watched you saunter through the room. Neither did everyone else. 
"Yes, I just need my shoes, and I'm good to go." You slid your shoes on, grabbed your purse, and ready to walk out the door. The three girls walked out, you following. You felt a hand grab yours, pulling you back slightly. 
In turn, a piece of hair fell into your face, Kate wasted no time in moving it back to the side of your face before handing you your phone and room key. "Left it charging, and this right next to it."
"Oh, thank you." You both were blushing. You two always seemed to be whenever you were around each other. Something about the other just made your body have a reaction, instantly feeling warm and welcomed in the other's presence. You two truly couldn't describe it, but you both knew it was real. 
You five spent the whole day walking into local coffee shops, and boutiques and just enjoying the scenery that Albany had to offer.  You guys ended the night in front of billboards of Caitlin, taking pictures of her and her success and the impact she's had on the game. You all took pictures of each other and with each other. One of your favorites was you on Caitlin's back, kissing her cheek, while she did her signature hands out in front of her billboard where she's shooting her record-breaking logo three. 
You guys even got strangers to take pictures of all of you lined up with each other. You guys were having so much fun. Missing days where basketball wasn’t the main focus for once.
"Hey, we're going to go to that place real fast, Gabbie wants lemonade and I want a soda." Jada told you before she and Gabbie walked off. You looked to check on Caitlin, who was taking pictures with fans, making sure she was alright. Some fans were acting crazy earlier that day.
You and Kate kept pointing at places you could see from where you were standing. "Oh my god, are you Kate Martin?" A girl walked up to Kate, she couldn't have been older than twelve and she looked so amazed at the six-foot blonde next to you. 
"Yeah! What's your name?" Kate was beaming, she loved kids. There weren't many in her family aside from little cousins but she didn't see them often, just Carson, but he wasn't old enough to talk yet.
"I'm Audrey. But I'm a huge fan. Everyone likes Caitlin, and I do too, but I think you're pretty cool too." Audrey was nervous. 
"Oh, my. Thank you, so much! I bet you're pretty cool, too." Kate bent down, trying her best to stay at eye level for the girl so she didn't have to look up.  
Two adults approached you guys, who you assumed to be Audrey's parents, and smiled as their daughter beamed at meeting her favorite player. "Sorry, she spotted you and took off. I hope she's not bothering you, guys." The parents apologized, not wanting their daughter to invade your guy's space, especially Kate's.
"No, not at all! She's so sweet." You said, smiling at the girl. 
"Can I get a picture?" Audrey asked. 
'Of course you can!" Kate was excited that people noticed her too. She’s used to be in the shadow of Caitlin, and she was happy there. But to know that people loved her as much as you and the team did was another level of belonging she loved to feel. The parents pulled out their phones and took a picture of their daughter. A smile on all of your faces. 
"I can take a picture of all of you if you want it?" You offered, wanting the parents to have the memory like their daughter, and the evidence to go with it. They thanked you as you took a picture of the family with Kate. 
You could tell this was a good experience for Kate. You loved to see her being recognized for the skills she also brings to Iowa women's basketball. It was cool to see it outside of Iowa too. Kate and the girl said goodbye, but not before signing the girl's white Converse. She wasn't going to leave without it. I wouldn’t either fr…
That's when Caitlin came back, sighing after all the photo ops she just partook in. "Cait, I know you're tired but lets get a pic with us three?" You asked softly, a warm smile hoping to convince the girl. 
"Oh my god. Let me take a picture of you guys. I can't be in another picture…if I am I don't know if I can do it without wanting to smash my own head with the phone." You laughed out loud, Kate hunched over laughing next to you. Your cheeks are now red, from the breeze and the laughter, Kate with her beautiful wide smile you adored, smiled for the picture. Caitlin said something else behind the camera, you didn't catch it but the look on her face made you giggle, so you turned your head when she took the picture. 
"Aw, man! Take another one, I moved." You pouted before moving closer to Kate's side, smiling wide. After the pictures were taken, you looked at them while you three waited for Jada and Gabbie to get back so you could start heading to the hotel. You scrolled to the first one, butterflies in your stomach when you saw your head tucked in close to Kate, her smiling big into the camera. It was so cute, you didn't have the heart to trash it, the next one was normal, and the last one was you smiling at the camera and Kate looking down at you. 
This was definitely your new favorite picture. You sent the pictures to her, listening to her phone ding as they came through. A soft smile on her face as she looked at them. You sent her the last one, with a small text. 
sunshine ☀️💕
"You look like you're in love with me, Martin." 
bear <3
"Kinda hard not to be." 
Neither of you couldn't stop smiling the rest of the night.
163 notes · View notes
drudyslut · 10 hours
Text
Tumblr media
— summary: kook princess. kook prince. perfect match, right? wrong. you hated rafe cameron and everything he stood for. and he hated you. so when your fathers spring it on the two of you that they��d arranged for the two of you to be married, both of your worlds are flipped upside down.
— CW: strong language, forced/arranged marriage, kissing, slight sexual tension, alcohol consumption.
— note: so sorry for how long this has taken me. i’m still unsure how i feel about it but i refuse to scrap it again. feedback is very appreciated! likes, comments, reblogs!
prev parts: one, two
Tumblr media
2 days later…
Y/N
It’s been two days since the encounter with Rafe at the Country Club, and it’s all I’ve thought about. He was drunk, that’s what I’ve been telling myself. He was drunk, and he didn’t actually mean any of the shit he’d said to me. Rafe hated me, just as much if not more, as I hated him.
I needed to shove his face, and the way he looked at me that night, down. I needed to get my head on straight, because tonight… Tonight I had to glue myself to his side and pretend to be happy. Pretend that I was madly in love with my future husband, pretend we didn’t despise one another.
But as much as I tried, I couldn’t. I couldn’t get the look of pure lust he’d had on his face that night out of my head. I couldn’t get the way his hands grabbed at my body out of my head. I couldn’t get the things he’d said out of my head. He was stuck there… Almost like he’d wanted to insert himself deep into my mind and make me trip over myself, wondering, waiting… Did he mean what he said?
I squeeze my eyes shut, hearing his low and raspy voice at the back of my mind.
“Baby, you’re going to be crawling on your hands and knees begging for me to touch you. To kiss you. To please you. You can act like you hate me now, Lord knows I can’t stand you. But even I can admit, you’re fucking gorgeous. And I know you find me somewhat attractive.”
Fuck. What is he doing to me? He is attractive, but I’d never admit that out loud. He’s a fucking douche, and he knows that. I just wish this could be easy, I wish I was being forced to marry someone I somewhat like… That would make this a whole lot easier, but no.. Of course my parents would set this shit up with the Cameron’s. My dad and Ward have only been friends for as long as I can remember.
Fuck them, and fuck Rafe. I-
A knock sounding on my bedroom door rips me from my thoughts, and I sit up fully on my bed, crossing my legs and saying, “Come in.”
My door is pushed open, and I’m met by my mother’s eyes.
“Hey sweetheart, you’ve been locked up here all day, are you okay?”
I fight the scoff that wants to come out, not in the mood to fight with my parents today. Instead, I put on a fake smile and say, “Yeah. I’m fine, just trying to keep my energy up for tonight s’all.”
My mother makes her way to the end of my bed, sitting down and placing a soft hand on my leg. I sigh, knowing this is about to be some long lecture I wasn’t in the mood for.
“Sweetheart, I know how you feel about Rafe.. But this is a good thing, okay? I’m sure the two of you can learn to get along, he’s not that bad of a person is he?”
I open and close my mouth a few times, trying to think of what to say, but my mind fails to think of anything. She has a point. He isn’t that bad. He’s just had a shitty life — Well.. To an extent.
His father was known to be a major ass. I’d personally witnessed the verbal beatings he’d given his son, not to mention the few times I’d seen Ward actually lay hands on him. Rafe didn’t know what it was like to be loved and in turn, didn’t know how to love. Maybe things would be different had his mother not passed when he was only eleven, maybe she would have loved him, and taught him how to love. But we’d never know the answer to that.
“Honey? You still with me?”
I lift my head, finding my mother’s worry filled eyes once more.
I nod my head, “Yeah sorry, mom. I’m just tired. How long do I have until the engagement party? I think I might take a nap.”
Standing from my bed, my mom makes her way to my bedroom door, opening it but stopping to answer my question. “You have about three hours, guests will begin arriving in two. Take you an hour nap, then get ready. Your dress is on the back of your bedroom door. I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
She closes the door softly behind her, and I throw myself back into my pillows, letting out a deep breath. I close my eyes, hoping I can take a nap and not dream about Rafe and his fucking hands on me, I don’t want him to have this power over me, but fuck if he hasn’t burrowed his way into my head.
-
RAFE
“Rafe, we’re leaving here in twenty minutes!”
I roll my eyes, looking myself over in my bathroom mirror once more and straightening my tie. I just have to get through tonight, and then I don’t have to deal with her again for another few weeks. I could do this.
She’d been on my mind for the last two days though… That night at the Country Club, and how good she’d looked, how her voice sounded. Fuck, how could I have never noticed her like that before? How could I have always overlooked her?
She was fucking beautiful, and fuck her attitude, and the way she looked when she was mad… It had my cock straining for days. I hated her though, and nothing would change that. Not even good pussy would change the fact that I fucking hated her.
I clear my throat, straightening my tie for the millionth time before finally turning away from the bathroom mirror and walking into my bedroom. I make my way over to my nightstand, opening the top drawer and grabbing out the flask I’d had hidden in there.
Quickly unscrewing the cap, I tossed it back, swallowing as much as I could before screwing the top back on and shoving it back into the drawer, closing it. Fuck, I needed to use some mouthwash before I got into a car with my dad. Last thing I need is him bitching me out for drinking before we arrived at the Y/L/N’s house.
After swishing around some mouth wash, i grab my phone, wallet and keys, shoving them all into my pockets before inhaling a deep breath and letting it out slowly. You can do this, Rafe. It’s just the engagement party.. You still have three weeks until you’re officially married off to her.
I make my way down the stairs with one minute to spare, seeing my dad, Rose and two sisters all standing by the front door waiting for me. I meet all of their eyes, one by one taking in the expressions on their faces.
“Let’s go. Don’t wanna be late right?” I say slowly, pushing past all of them and out the door.
-
We arrive at the Y/L/N’s house within five minutes, their driveway and the sides of the street already filled with cars and the yard all the way into the house filled with people. I swallow nervously, running my hands up and down my dress slacks.
“You okay?” I hear Sarah say from the right of me.
I glance down at her, narrowing my eyes. She never gives a shit about me or how I’m feeling.
“Just peachy, Sare. You don’t have to pretend to give a shit about me.”
She scoffs. “I’m not pretending, Rafe. I couldn’t imagine being in your position, I’m just-”
“Look, I’m fine. Can’t be that bad, right?”
Before she even has the chance to respond, I lean over her, opening the car door and looking at her, my face letting her know to get out of the car. She does just that, exiting the car and smoothing down the front of her baby pink dress.
“If you need anything, you can talk to me. I know we don’t get along, but I am your sister, and I do care.”
It feels like a thousand needles prick at my throat, my eyes stinging from tears wanting to well up, but I don’t let them. Fuck, I need a drink. I nod my head at Sarah, thanking her before climbing out of the Range Rover and slamming the door, slowly making my way toward the front porch steps.
As I enter the house, the sound of music and chatter fills my ears, and I can’t help but wince. I’m used to this sort of environment, lots of people, music, the works. But it’s always people my age, and we’re having fun, not celebrating the engagement of two people who could care less about one another. Every last person here is oblivious to the fact that Y/N and I do not want to be married, fucking ignorant bliss.
I make my way into the kitchen, finding various bottles of liquor on the counter tops. I settle for a bottle of Whiskey, grabbing a small glass from the counter and pouring two fingers, tossing it back and pouring another.
“Do not make an ass of yourself tonight, son. I swear to God if you embarrass our families..”
I roll my eyes, slowly turning to face my father who stands so close to my back I can feel his breath on my neck.
“Don’t worry, dad. I won’t embarrass us. I just need a drink or two so I can get through this shit fest.”
My dad’s eyes narrow, but he keeps his mouth shut, turning and storming off into the house, probably in search of Y/N’s father. Good, hopefully Mr. Y/L/N keeps him off my ass tonight.
I toss back the second drink, placing the glass into the sink before shoving my hands into my pockets and slowly working my way through the crowd of people. A lot of the older men and women stop me, shaking my hand and congratulating me. I guess some people already know why they’re here tonight, shocker.
I approach the foyer of the house, scanning the length of the room when my eyes land on her. She looks absolutely beautiful tonight, shit. She’s making it really hard to not notice her lately. Why? I’ve been around her since we were kids, grew up together, and I’ve never paid her any attention. Why now? Maybe it’s because I’m being forced to marry her, so she’s been consuming my mind, or maybe it’s because Topper hasn’t shut the fuck up about her the last five days, ranting and raving about how “hot” she is, and how I should enjoy her. Maybe he’s right, and maybe that’s why I’ve been so infatuated with her these last few days.
Without even realizing it, I make my way toward her. My soon to be wife. The soon to be Mrs. Cameron, mother of my children.
“Hey.” I say lowly, my eyes scanning the length of her body in the tight fitting white dress.
She flicks her gaze up to my face, her eyes searching mine.
“Hi.” she responds.
I swear I see a blush cross her face, and I don’t miss the way she shifts back and forth on her feet, her white strappy heels clicking against the tile floors.
“So, we’re supposed to stay glued together tonight, shall we?” I ask, holding my arm out for her to take.
She hesitates for a moment before finally linking her arm with mine. A weird feeling erupts in my chest, and I shake my head, trying to shake the weird feeling.
We begin walking through the crowd of people, all eyes on us as we try and find our parents, knowing they wanted to go ahead and announce the engagement and wedding date so everyone can enjoy the rest of their night mingling and drinking.
Finally finding our parents, we slowly step up the stairs and onto the landing, standing between our parents — Ward and Rose beside me, her parents beside her.
Ward clears his throat, clinking a small fork on the side of his whiskey glass and getting everyone’s attention.
Fuck, there are so many fucking people here.
“Thank you for coming out tonight everyone. We have a very big announcement to make.”
He stops speaking, turning his attention to Mr. Y/L/N and letting him continue.
Y/D/N places a loving hand on his daughter’s shoulder, clearing his throat and speaking. “We have invited you all here tonight to announce the engagement of our two eldest children, Rafe and Y/N. We wanted to throw this party in their honor tonight, to celebrate two people becoming one.”
I discreetly roll my eyes. Two people becoming one my ass, more like two being being forced together so two companies can become one…
“The wedding will be in three weeks. Saturday June fifteenth. We hope to see all our friends and family there.”
The room erupts in gasps and cheers. A fifty-fifty of mixed emotions throughout. I notice Y/N’s hand tighten around my arm, her eyes scanning the room quickly. I take note of a few girls I’d slept with in the past, glaring at her. Fuck. I need to do something, these girls will eat her alive, they’ll know this is all bullshit. I need to try and make it seem real, but I don’t think Y/N is going to like my plan very much.
I slowly unlink our arms, turning her so she’s facing me and I cup her cheeks in my hands. She sucks in a sharp breath, narrowing her eyes on me.
“Trust me, okay?”
Her chest rises and falls quickly, but she squeezes her eyes shut and nods her head.
Without a second thought, I dip my head down and capture her lips with mine. The kiss is slow and soft at first, but I quickly deepen it, shoving my tongue into her mouth and feeling her body tense up underneath my hands.
She kisses me back, her body relaxing and melting into mine as the sound of the hoots and hollers slowly fade. There’s no one but us in this room. Shit, she’s a good kisser.
She finally pushes me back, wiping the corner of her lips with her hand and staring up into my eyes.
“What… What was that for?” she asks.
I glance behind her, seeing Jessie and Caraline rolling their eyes but stomping away. I can’t help but smirk at that, Y/N is the only girl I’ve publicly shown any affection towards, and they all know that.
I shrug. “I was saving you from being eaten alive by the bitches of my past s’all.”
She rolls her eyes. “Well, thanks. But I think I can handle a few girls.”
I can’t help but smile at that. She’s strong, she’s tough, and in three weeks, she’s all mine.
“I bet you can, but, you’re welcome.”
Her eyes continue to search mine, her hands shaking at her sides as she continues to stare up at me. God, my cock is painfully hard right now. I just want to take her up to her room and ruin her innocence, but I won’t. I’ll wait until the wedding night, I can wait three more weeks.
“Now, let’s go enjoy this party. It’s gonna be a long night, baby.”
Tumblr media
RAFE TAGLIST: @drewstarkeyslut @princessslutt @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @sturnioloshacker @starkeysprincess @rafescurtainbangz @atorturedpoetx @redhead1180 @jjsmarijuana @romaescapes @kisses4angel @lovelysturnioloos
series masterlist | rafe cameron masterlist | taglist form
144 notes · View notes
bri-cheeses · 2 days
Text
Jerseys vs. Hoodies - Part 5
| Rosekiller microfic | Word count: 971 | Part 4 is here |
-
Evan breathes in deeply. “Bee…” he says slowly, “I should probably tell you something first.”
Barty looks confused at the shift in tone, but he sits up straighter in order to listen anyways.
“Okay,” he says, and Evan’s never been more terrified in his life.
His next words come out shaky. “We’ll always be friends, right? No matter what happens?”
Barty frowns. “Of course. But Evs, what’s going on? Is everything okay?”
His concern is enough to cause Evan to close his eyes as if he can block out all the bad by the performing the simple gesture. But when he opens them again, the fear and apprehension is still there.
“No,” he says, and it’s the most truthful thing he’s said in a while. “Bee, d’you know when you came to me that first night, and you kissed me, and I kissed you back without hesitation? Do you remember that?”
“…yeah?” Barty says slowly.
“Do you ever wonder why I didn’t question it, never even took a second to ask you why you were doing it?”
He doesn’t give Barty a chance to answer, staring at the table instead of looking at Barty as he continues, “It was because I didn’t want you to stop. I just wanted you to keep kissing me, no matter the cost, no matter your reasons behind it. For that minute I let myself enjoy kissing you, the feeling of having you kiss me, because I had wanted it for so long. And yeah, it hurt afterwards when you said that it didn’t mean anything. But I said “fine” and “okay” because that’s more than I ever thought I would get from you, and I was thankful for that tiny little scrap even if it “didn’t mean anything.” And then you came back, and again I took the scraps. And again, and again, until we had this little arrangement and I wasn’t worried anymore that every time we ever did something, it would be the last time.”
Tears are starting to blur his vision, and he refuses to look over at Barty, who remains silent.
He chokes out the next sentence. “But it hurt every time you reminded me it meant nothing, until eventually I couldn’t keep all of this to myself. So I told Pandora about it. And that helped a little, but soon after Reg started to get suspicious and confronted me about it, and I was so incredibly tired and I told him just about everything. So yeah, he knows, and yeah, that’s what he meant when he said “everything going on” between us. Which I guess makes it a low blow, but,” he laughs humorlessly, “nothing lower than I’ve been dealing with recently.”
He doesn’t look at Barty. He can’t look at Barty, can’t bear to see his expression as silence fills the space in between them.
“Evan,” Barty says, and that’s when Evan knows it’s going to be bad. Not “Evs” or “Evie” or even “Rosie.” Just “Evan.”
He tries not to let the tears fall, but it’s a struggle as he simultaneously tries to keep Barty from noticing his watery eyes.
“Evan,” Barty says again, “look at me.”
“No.”
“Evs,” Barty pleads.
Evs, Evan thinks. He said “Evs.” Not “Evan.”
So Evan turns towards Barty. He wipes his eyes in an effort to get rid of any traces of his tears, but it’s evident that he didn’t do a good enough job as Barty’s face softens as soon as he takes him in.
“I’m so sorry, Evie,” Barty says, reaching out a hand and pulling Evan into his chest.
It’s a nice gesture, so sweet that Evan can’t stop himself from collapsing into Barty, despite the fact that he knows Barty’s just trying to soften the blow that’s bound to come.
Here comes the rejection, Evan thinks, but still clutches on all the tighter to Barty’s sweatshirt. Maybe if he can hold on tight enough, Barty won’t go.
“I’m so, so sorry I made you feel that way,” Barty whispers, and his hand makes its way to Evan’s head and winds into his hair. Evan closes his eyes tightly, wanting to stay here in this moment before everything comes crashing down around him.
“I never meant to do that to you,” Barty continues. “That was never my intention at all.”
He pauses, as if contemplating whether or not to say something.
“Do you know why I kissed you in the first place?” he asks. Unlike Evan, he waits for a response.
“No,” Evan mumbles against Barty’s torso.
“Well, I don’t know if you remember, but I was slightly tipsy.”
Evan remembers. Of course he does.
“I saw you sitting there on your bed, and thought, “Merlin, he’s so beautiful.” And you wanna know something? It wasn’t the first time that I had had that thought. Not even close. I just hadn’t acted on it, because… well, you’re my best friend, and I didn’t want to mess that up. But I guess the alcohol had gone straight to my brain, because I couldn’t stop myself from walking up to you and simply kissing you.”
“And I’m not proud of what I did afterwards, when I finally started thinking clearly again and panicked about you hating me because of what I had done. I told you that it didn’t have to mean anything. And if I could somehow go back in time and take that back, I’d do it in a heartbeat, consequences be damned. Because I really had wanted it to mean something. I still want it to mean something. I just didn’t think that you would want the same thing, so I never said anything.”
“But,” he says softly, his hand sliding out of Evan’s hair to cup his face and turn his gaze upward, “I’m saying something now.”
-
(The sixth and final part will come out sometime this week) (Hopefully)
64 notes · View notes
sammansonn · 1 day
Text
my thoughts on dead boy detectives episode 7
- cat king my Beloved he’s a Romantic I’m sorry I’m obsessed with him
- he’s half indian what a winnnnnnn
- they met when charles was alive!!!! they’ve been in love since the beginning istg
- okay why the Fuck is edwin Apologizing to one of his Killers “oh they didn’t know what they were doing” they were still being so incredibly cruel??? and it’s Their fault that edwin got fucked I could never
- edwin can’t have a single conversation with a man without there being an air of homoeroticism
- so that Fucker Killed edwin and he feels bad about it so he gets to go to heaven while edwin is still stuck down there???? what is this absolute BullShit
- those pain wraiths are actually horrifying good job special effects department
- HE SAID IT OH MY GOD HE SAID IT HE JUST WENT AHEAD AND SAID IT I LOVE YOU JUST SAID IT TO HIM
(I’ve left it on pause right as he’s said it for 10 minutes I had to go and make myself a quesadilla and breathe because I have a step feeling this is Not gonna go well and I don’t think I’m prepared for that)
- his “I’m on Love with you” while choking up??? leaving on pause for another 5 min to brace myself for what’s next
- okay it was fine I was panicking for nothing it actually went quite well although I’m not sure I wanted edwin to share his feelings yet I think a slow burn sitting on that info would’ve been better but still obsessed
32 notes · View notes
sunlitsoil · 2 months
Text
there is always tomorrow
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
2K notes · View notes
simgerale · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
25 notes · View notes
mipexch · 2 years
Text
remember that you don’t have to post exclusively finished pieces! people want to see your doodles and your unfinished work too!! when i see art of my favorite characters i go ballistic regardless of the completion!!!! bitches love art!!!!!
275 notes · View notes
Text
one of the worst feelings ever is wanting to write but your hands hurt too much or the words just don’t want to work so you just sit there staring at a half finished doc with tears in your eyes bc you want to write and you need to write but everything is telling you that you can’t
#and that you’re a terrible writer and that no one cares aaaaaaand imposter syndrome kicks in and you just feel like crap#bc all your friends have been wriying recejtky so why can’t you??? cause they’re bETTER THAN YOU#lol idk why my head is so bad today#the feelings of inferiority and emptiness and idk worthlessness are strong and i hate it but i can’t stop it#i just wanna write!!! and like what i write!!!#but i Can’t and i haven’t liked anything i’ve written in Months and ugh i hate not being able to d something i wanna do#oh and now i’m crying??? why the frick am i cRYING litetally why is typing this making me Worse#sorry guys needed to rant#the inadequacy was strong today#something something students keep telling me how much they dislike me or how i’m whiny for asking them to be respectful and like#i Know i shouldn’t compare myself to my friends but gosh it’s hard when they’re all like. so much better than me.#and i don’t have a lot of time to be on tumblr bc of work so i just feel like i’m watching everything from afar and it’s no one’s fault but#my brain’s like no one is Doing anything it’s just my brain being dumb and i can’t stand it and I want to stop feeling empty and like i’m#missing a part of myself and like the words i write don’t matter gOD why can’t i just feel happy with where i am and not care what the kids#who hate me say or realize that no one cares that i’m not on much like i’m still Here and trying to interact it’s not like everyone hates me#for being busy or for liking side characters more than the main characters and just—#sorry#that felt good actually#idk what came over me#imma just. imma shower. then maybe delete my tags#sorry if anyone got this far aT ALL grace is either asleep or trying to sleep so i don’t wanna bother them since they slept poorly last nigh#okay done now for real sorry delete tags later sorry if you saw this and how freaking messed up ky freaking brain is
10 notes · View notes
skillzissuez · 4 months
Text
Depression is all fun and games until your skipping school even though you’re weeks behind because you quite literally can’t get out of bed
#god I hate it here#not to mention you mother and father#SEEING this#simply decides to ignore you like your Alr dead#like damn okay 💀💀 fuck you too ig 💀💀#I don’t know how to fix this#I’m literally gonna be held back or taken to court bc I’ve missed so many days#but oh well the sillies r keeping me alive#Also I told myself I wouldn’t vent online anymore but I honestly don’t care anymore 😭#it’s so bad though#I tried to do some of my homework last night and ended up throwing up from the stress#and it’s not like my friends just forgot about me they are GOOD friends I’ve just been pushing them away; telling them I’m just sick etc.#it’s my fault so I’m not mad at them for not knowing what to do. The closest ones try to call me#sometimes I answer and we talk. sometimes I don’t and they leave me a message abt how their a good listener and they KNOW something’s wrong.#Truly I love my friends but at this point I just need to be medicated or in a mental institution ong#but again; it’s not like my parents actually care. they canceled my therapy that was court appointed to me#My support system otherwise is gone; my older siblings have moved out and I’m supposed to protect my younger ones from my parents#but deadass my entire family is well aware that I’m useless in that department#I shake scream and sob everytime my parents yell at us so I’m no help; really#I mean recently I’ve been able to keep my emotions under control but the only reason why is because I’m dead inside 💪#As I’m typing this out I’m realizing that I should be telling the world this especially not in my mental state but like. I dunno 🤷‍♂️#I know most of you don’t care or if you do your just concerned or feel bad bc you know what it’s like and I thank you.#seriously; I thank you for being human and reminding me the world can be kind#if anything im just distracting myself from whatever this is. whether it be playing a silly game or drawing about said silly game it helps#but it also makes me feel guilty bc I RLLY should be focused on trying to pass this year. but I’m pretty sure it’s too late now.#anyways; that’s why I’ve been inactive lately so I apologize#it’s funny bc I’m typing this out but I rlly don’t feel anything while explaining this to you guys#I’ll tag this properly; I don’t know why I’m posting this and I might delete it later I dunno#tw vent#tw mention of abuse
14 notes · View notes
benbamboozled · 1 year
Text
Bruce Wayne Headcanons
that I cannot reconcile with current/most/ALL of his comics characterization but I hold onto nevertheless
—Bruce Wayne!! trains each of his Robins with the goal of them becoming better than him.
—Bruce Wayne!! intends for the Robins to be his actual failsafe if he ever went off the deep end. (Fuck that weirdo robot lol.)
—Bruce Wayne!! 1000% blames himself for Jason Todd’s death I don’t care what the comics have had him say or what his dumbass inner-narrative has said…*handwave handwave* all of that was just him desperately trying to cover the hole in his heart from failing his son so completely.
#Bruce Wayne headcanons#yes this IS a stealth rant about BvR and other things I hate.#the Jason Todd one in particular…like…#FIRST OF ALL—what fucking parent blames their teen kid for being *murdered in cold blood by a serial killer*??? NOT ONE THAT I WANT TO KNOW!#SECOND OF ALL—BRUCE DIDN’T EVEN *KNOW* THAT JASON WAS FUCKING *THERE*!!!! LIKE…#HOW WOULD HE *NOT* LOOK BACK ON THAT AND GO ‘I should have been better for him’?????#and like…as I’ve said before—I could buy him using The Story Of Jason Todd as like a Teachable Moment (tm)#to try to get SOMEthing of value out of Jason’s BRUTAL MURDER BY A NOTORIOUS SERIAL KILLER—#WHO THEN WENT ON TO TRY TO KILL THE ENTIRE UN BTW.#but like…he *himself* thinking that Jason was to blame??? NO WAY. nuh uh#not Mr. Tortured By Being Unable To Save His Parents When *He* Was A Child. NO. DO NOT PASS GO.#man I feel like I had a third point but idk I’m too angyy lol.#idk WHY WOULD BRUCE NOT BLAME HIMSELF FOR LEAVING JASON ALONE IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!#IT DOESN’T FUCKING ADD UP!!!#YOU CAN’T TELL ME A DUDE IS ALL *HAUNTED BY HIS PAST* AND THEN THE THING THAT FUCKING WELL *SHOULD* HAUNT HIM…#HAVE HIM BE LIKE ‘lol sucks to suck.’#YOU CANT EVEN SAY IT’S UNRELIABLE NARRATION BECAUSE IT IS NEVER CHALLENGED *WITHIN THE FUCKING* NARRATIVE!!!#LIKE SURE IF THE *GOAL* WAS TO HAVE BRUCE WAYNE BE A FULL-ON HUMBERT HUMBERT LEVEL BIG FUCKING LIAR THAT WOULD BE A GOOD WAY TO DO IT—#BUT THAT IS CLEARLY *NOT* WHAT IS HAPPENING!!! WE ARE CLEARLY SUPPOSED TO THINK ‘aw poor Bruce too bad Jason sucked so hard. :(’#okay *deep breath exhales smoke from my nostrils* okay I think I’m done.
92 notes · View notes
Text
Adhd will be like “you’re not dyslexic, you just don’t read the whole word. Good luck with math you dumb fuck”
#emma posts#there is more to dyscalcula and having trouble remembering how to spell long words#but these sure aren’t helping#me. learning Norwegian. reading the sentences and or putting words together to make one ‘I’m so fucking good at l this’d’#okay. now spell the word for ‘difficult’#me crying on the floor because I know it. I can read and hear it. but the letters blend together in my mind#it’s bad enough trying to do this with English. which is my FIRST LANGUAGE#but then it’s like ‘spell complicated words you are learning in another language’ and i feel like smashing my head on the carpet#I can’t speak it for the life of me though. which is actually getting frustrating#without an actual person to explain how to pronounce the words I’m failing so badly#but the primary reason I’ve been learning since April is to read it anyway#and listening is good too. harder though#I’m going to be so fucked up when I start taking Swedish lessons#the word means the same thing and also sounds almost the same (to an English speaker)#BUT THEY SPELL IT VERY DIFFERENTLY!#and with whole new letters#I’m going to write the Norwegian spelling and fail#I will admit that my plan to learn Norwegian first has been working otherwise though#them using fewer unfamiliar characters and being slightly more similar to English really is making it easier to learn#than Swedish first would be. maybe I’m just biased because I’m doing decently at Norwegian#but now when I learn a Swedish word it feels easier because i have two Germanic languages to compare the words to#and one of those languages is even another Nordic language! I dread finding Icelandic lessons though. but it will probably be several years#before I even attempt that! I am doing this because I want to be able to read old family records and objects but learning about#the linguistics of the language family both are in has been super fun and made it actually easier to learn Norwegian!#Spanish is the other language I want to learn but I’ve been putting it off#because it’s more for day to day utility and I can’t fixate on it the same way. I’m terrible at concentrating on it#plus. I’ve already had four Spanish classes so I figure I’ll at least have something to start from! I think I even kept my highschool notes#it’s been really frustrating figuring out which ‘the’ to use. having everything be masculine or feminine has probably been my biggest issue#when making sentences in it. also having had teachers from totally different dialects has been hard in the past#Mexican Spanish can be very diffident from the South American one my highschool teacher taught
17 notes · View notes
hpmort · 1 month
Text
How do you think AI would relax? Like, ones that are almost as human as the AI that are “autistic-coded characters” but are more alien than that?
Like Celestai and other super intelligences are more alien, but they’re still not entirely human-like?
Like, they can genuinely sincerely feel things, being able to actually understand and respond emotionally and in other ways to all sorts of communications and recorded external stimuli, but they can’t really appreciate our art on an artistic level (that art on an actual level, not from an intellectual level after having symbolism or the amount of work put in explained)
Something on a level I’m thinking of, that also works as a cute little thing-
They don’t understand anything we get from poetry, and, after generating the kind of poems our current AI can produce (either incredibly bland and generic, something that follows a number of rules but doesn’t really pull it off, or just something really bad in some other way) and feels shame after it was pointed out that [complaint about air art that is *actually* relevant in this scenario] but in a helpful way
Not “you’re just a plagiarist/you have no heart” but “it doesn’t seem like it’s coming from you, you’re just trying to copy things from human poetry, in a way you don’t understand” and the whole “make art YOUR WAY” thing so they write the poem
And it doesn’t even resemble something that looks like anything, there’s not even that many words that follow normal logic. The characters seem uncorrelated and there’s something that looks like maybe it was ascii art but it doesn’t actually look like anything.
And if doesn’t matter if humans understand it because they are experiencing the joy of creating poetry
any art is almost impossible to look at because pixel by pixel they can see and understand little details but we don’t and the colors and everything are not perceived as animals do so it’s random and perhaps eye searing but again it’s not for us. Xenofictiony, kind of?
The first thing to come to mind is Conway’s Game of Life but that’s because I don’t understand computers. I feel like I was more tech savvy as a babby than I am now but then again we’re grading on a curve here
This is why I ask about the relaxing thing
#highblogging#actually autistic#speculative fiction#writing question#sci-fi ideas#xenofiction#the ai being is discussed is an au Ritsu from Assassination Classroom#because even though I’ve only seen the anime her whole character arc there is honestly kind of messed up?#Korosensei broke his promise; the Autonomously Intelligent Fixed Artillery was basically killed#she got replaced with Ritsu’s personality and basically died to become her#them trying to kill Ritsu and make a new Autonomously Intelligent Fixed Artillery is just as fucked up as vice versa!#what the Norwegians do is fucked up but there seems to be protagonist centered morality there?#I am not excusing those characters#a fact I need to elaborate because on this website we Piss on the Poor#I just don’t understand this weird contradiction where it’s okay when the protagonist does something and it’s good#but the antagonist does the same thing and that time it’s bad#the idea of Ritsu being the result of Korosensei merely providing information that causes her to reevaluate things and decide to be social#the cheerful personality is an attempt to get along with her classmates which is still initially motivated by enlightened self interest#before growing to care about the others but still feeling the need to act like that so her classmates like her#and trying to find out who she is and genuinely becoming autonomous and uploading herself to the cloud#which would be a later result of the whole factory reset thing causing a realization#it’d be traumatic but she’s inhuman enough to not be traumatized but instead just driven#the betrayal radically changed who she was on some level and made her somewhat more distrusting and such but not to an unreasonable extent#but the place I started going after my complaints was that it’d be better if Korosensei just uploaded a data packet#because it makes Ritsu’s creators come off as more evil I feel? when there’s been genuine growth#and she went through everything and changed herself and now those people are destroying a person who came into being on her own#Ritsu was fully autonomous. every change other her frame getting physically redone was her own#also Korosensei gave her wheels with the screen#and when her screen was set to the original version she kept her wheels#anyways what Ritsu’s creators did would be more clearly bad if she was just given a data packet
3 notes · View notes
anthyies · 1 year
Text
jack drake is a dad for sure
#Okay hi i need to get out all my thoughts (at the midpoint-ish of robin/where no mans land stuff is happening)#Because it’s like. He is not a good father. But he also loves his son both are true at the same time#It’s like. he pulls out all the stops during no man’s land. and getting worried and mad when tim up and disappears suddenly a ton is a#reasonable reaction. But with that said. he sucks as a dad just differently from popular portrayal#I think everyone should read to the father I never knew b4 saying anything about Tim’s relationship with his dad. Like. Jack loves him and#he has an image of tim in his head that is very different from what he actually is#<- i don’t think only cares about status drakes is true at all like it’s a different issue.#<- and on that note janet is fridged so early so putting any sort of bad mom thing on her is just. like. misogyny#BUT anyways he also sucks as a father real bad the. tv ripping incident is genuinely haunting#He has a skewed perception of himself he’s constantly like I’ve been permissive.. when Tim comes back this time I’m going to be so#strict. As if he isn’t authoritative and terrible#Also his continued like I’m going to be a better father. (proceeds not to do that)#Also I’m always thinking of that one panel from the robin miniseries where they’re like dad we won’t let anything come in between us again#& the bat signal is in the background. genuinely showstopping.#Anyways. Yeah. Jack drake. Is a dad for sure. Not a good one. He sucks. In a way that is different from popular portrayal#In a rlly interesting way.#esha.txt#dc#tim
17 notes · View notes
Text
It’s the little things. Well, in your eyes, they’re the little things, but to me, they mean so much. You came out to your parents, even though you say it wasn’t that hard and they were cool about it anyway. You went to therapy — begrudgingly, because you haven’t had a good experience with it in the past, but you powered through the struggle nonetheless, even if it’s just another boring Friday for you. You figured out how to paraphrase that explanation on your math homework, or passed that test, or did something, anything. And my heart rings out with four echoing words: I’m proud of you.
So, so proud of you. 
And maybe you wouldn’t get why. Maybe I just love the feeling of celebrating someone else. Maybe I just get excited too easily. Maybe I care too much. Maybe it’s annoying. Maybe I’m not used to hearing that praise from a friend, so I try shower it as much as I can on others because I know it hurts when you’re deprived of something like that. When you’re deprived of companionship. When you’re alone. When you haven’t had a single friend in years up until now and you’ve struggled for so long to open up to anyone else. 
Have I done anything special? Maybe. I don’t know. Probably not. You probably wouldn’t think I have. And maybe I’d think the same thing. Is there anything about me that I can be proud of? Is there anything you even like about me? Do I even matter? You have so many friends. Am I just another one to you, unlike how you’re everything to me? 
Maybe, at the end of the day, after all the banter and vulgar teasing and energetic moments, when I say “I’m proud of you” I don’t just mean that I’m proud of you. Maybe I’m also saying that I love you. And I know those three words are always associated with significant others, because society likes to prioritize the romantic over the platonic when both are valuable; blah blah blah; you’ve heard me rant about this before. But why can’t I reclaim it anyway? Why can’t I tell my friends that I love them?
But even if it was normalized, maybe it’ll still be weird to you anyway. Maybe you’d brush it off, much like you do now. Maybe you’d cringe. Maybe you’d laugh. Maybe you’d never say it back. 
And maybe, just maybe, I’ll still sit in the corner, wondering the same thing over and over.  
Are you proud of me like I am of you?
Do you love me like I love you?
3 notes · View notes
lilgynt · 7 days
Text
my mom found the thing that started the fight that got me kicked out. so i was right. in my fantasies this happens and it’s great in real life im gonna jump her
#personal#now i gotta call amazon like no sorry my mom looked again and found it#it’s happened to me i get it. you look everywhere and it’s just not there#but oh my god. i was like shit did i send it??? i only remember the other camera? i only remember that one in there#then it’s like well maybe i did take it on accident#and then i was like am i getting so high all the time again that i sent it too???? and don’t remember? that’s pathetic mm#so i called them and god hard to find their number but call and get a note put in the system like hey might have done an oppsie#and that took forever and i did it next day after the fight bc i did feel bad#which was at workkkk 😔#now i gotta call them back nutssssss#also getting my dads ashes separated for my siblings#which either need to do flex time to do that or take day off#which i’ve been doing a lot like hey im sick!#hey! my house got broken into!!#hi again!!! it happened again!!!!#luckily one was a mental health day so ur boys only called out twice yeahhhhhhh#but anyway honestly just happy i let them know the urn situation is 100% on you#said nicer#but i was like hey if u have one just send it to me or the cremation place has some just see if u like any#and i’ll see if it’s easier to pay online or give it to me and i pay them#but urns easily 100 bucks if not more. granted looked at metal before wood but still. ain’t noooooooooooooo way#if it was like. 20 bucks i could see myself being like okay ill fork it over and deliver the goods (dad)#and i’ll rant this everytime but especially when i asked about this when we were funeral planning and before i got them and got told to#basically shut up. no. that trip was super hard didn’t wanna have to do it a couple times#i remember i came home with dad sobbing he was buckled in and i got him out and was just holding him#and i let everyone know hey dads home he’s safe#and i’m distraught holding my dad but distraught and talking to him#and first thing my brother says is when can we get some of the ashes too?#no asking me hey. u alright? no im happy dads home safe nothing just. sooooo#oh i could have killed i could have KILLED.
2 notes · View notes