#if we Have to have the stupid 7 prophecy like were every other book on this planet can at least be like. Omg... and theyre all very very | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

charmwasjess · 6 months

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I woke up today and chose violence, so this is my "Rael Averross is Luthen Rael" in Andor endgame theory.

"Calm. Kindness. Kinship. Love. I’ve given up all chance at inner peace. I’ve made my mind a sunless space. I share my dreams with ghosts. I wake up every day to an equation I wrote 15 years ago from which there’s only one conclusion, I’m damned for what I do. My anger, my ego, my unwillingness to yield, my eagerness to fight, they’ve set me on a path from which there is no escape. I yearned to be a savior against injustice without contemplating the cost and by the time I looked down there was no longer any ground beneath my feet." - Luthen Rael (on why he's a fucking Jedi)

Luthen Rael, a Jedi?! Yeah kinda really seems like it

I'm hardly the first person to have picked up the hints that Luthen Rael was a Jedi at one point. He whips out a kyber crystal like it's nothing, specifies that his whole life changed 15 years ago (count back to Order 66), perceives that his embrace of anger instead of a list of ideals that sound a lot like the Jedi code is a failing, and the "share my dreams with ghosts" line sure does sound like the survivor of a genocide that targeted a specifically psychic community of people. He carries around that stupid wooden "walking stick" thing that's obviously a barely-disguised lightsaber. His fucking SHIP has a big lightsaber beam for christsakes.

In a universe where several Jedi do survive to go on to help the Rebellion under assumed identities, it's not a stretch to think that there's a conveniently-placed, established one still on Coruscant working for the proto-Rebellion in the years leading up to Andor.

So why do I think Luthen is Rael Averross, Dooku's first apprentice?

The clue in their similar names would certainly keep with the tradition of Jedi in hiding barely changing their names (looking at you "Ben" Kenobi who dresses in ... a Jedi robe.) But there's more than that.

The last time anyone saw Rael Averross was the end of the Master and Apprentice novel, where he's at the end of a 7-year-mission out of the Temple, faced with the possibility of joining Dooku, and uncertain about his future with the Jedi Order. While he ultimately doesn't decide to follow in Dooku's footsteps, his future after that does not seem clear. We don't see him again, not even in Tales of the Jedi. We know he was brought to the Temple very late (at age 5) and judging from Pijal, is very comfortable living outside the Temple as a regular guy. We know he has some difficulty feeling a sense of belonging in the Jedi Order, which seems to have worsened after Dooku left. If he left the Jedi at some point after Pijal, as he seems to have at least considered, he could have been well placed to survive Order 66.

There are other small details that could hint at their shared identity. Luthen's profession, running an antique shop full of very significant prequel easter eggs, fits with some backstory - Dooku's preoccupation with artifacts and Rael Averross's likely exposure to them. In fact, the Jedi prophecy holocrons that Dooku, Qui-Gon, and Rael all seem to obsess over at various points are even literally present, stashed in his shop. He doesn't speak with a Coruscanti accent. He's in possession of a blue kyber crystal (Averross fights with a blue lightsaber.) Rael Averross is politically connected from his time as regent on Pijal; Luthen Rael also utilizes such political connections. Luthen Rael even has a trusted, young female protégée and confidant -- if you want to go all into Rael Averross's Lost Daughter Trauma.

Both Dooku: Jedi Lost (2019) and the Master and Apprentice (2019) novels which came out ahead of Andor's 2022 release date go out of their way to flesh out the character, place him in Dooku's inner circle, and detail points of connection like the artifacts and holocron study. In a meta way, I wondered why they were spending so much book time on a relatively minor character only tangentially related to characters who get screentime. (For example, new canon hasn't touched any of Qui-Gon's previous apprentices, and if the point was just to explore Dooku's other students, Komari and Galidraan would tie in with the Jango Fett storyline and the Mandalorians.) These choices aren't random or at the author's whim; in an interview, Cavan Scott of Dooku: Jedi Lost infamy mentions he was specifically told to stay away from Dooku and Rael's apprentice days in that book. Someone in the greater Star Wars content ecosystem was paying attention to this character. Why?

Why not?

I think the biggest argument that he's not Rael Averross is the physical appearance - Claudia Gray describes Rael as short and "tan"/dark skinned, Stellan Skarsgård is a a 6'3 Swede. Probably that should stop my argument right there, but unfortunately, it wouldn't be the first time Star Wars has retconned right over a fairly large detail like that, and frankly, has a problem doing that more often with nonwhite characters. (*making direct eye contact with Clone Wars's take on Sifo-Dyas, but even Quinlan Vos occasionally gets white washed*)

Ultimately, I don't think that Andor is the kind of show that will want to show you a Luke Skywalker cameo; in the same way, I have a hard time imagining that if this theory is correct, we'll get more than a nod and a wink confirmation. The show is all about little people coming together to fight the Empire.

But I think there's at least a decent chance that Luthen Rael is a familiar face, and if so, I can't see a better place for one of the disaster lineage to end up.

#rael averross #luthen rael #star wars andor #dooku #star wars theories #star wars meta

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phoenixmosheh · 8 months

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Uhmmm...I just started from the bottom and now I am out of breath...no table of contents embeds... hmmm...to study programming languages or to not study programming languages...? You have to wait until I get paid (no laptop).

This is a central intelligence blog (CIA) if you like deciphering hidden messages (encodings) you might enjoy this. If not, try something new. If you cannot keep a secret, we suggest you just leave the blog. Thank you.

Did you google what The CIA does? Good job! You are on your way to saving yourself and the planet 🌏

Phoenix Mosheh started at the bottom we reccommend you do the same for a better understanding on what our agenda is:

Our Agenda is to expose the truth.

Relax. Trying to understand is a good intention.

Trying to censor us because you disagree is a bad intention. We mind our business over here and focus on our own platforms.

Do I sound professional?

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Can you keep a secret? Now that you are awake? Do your research.

This is a really important test to see if you can handle the truth take it seriously please...do your research.

This scene reminds me of what the worlds governments does to people who steal other people's trade secrets and try taking them to the same government that lies to them...if you disagree just mind your business and live your life. -The definition of an abomination is someone that has been shown evidence they are being lied to...and still believing a lie (it's stupidity in our opinion).

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We reccommend you do not become a Judas 😘 Just go be on Judas' team and be quiet.

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Phoenix Mosheh supports truth over feelings.

Flips through Bible and does research before spreading lies:

Jesus Christ sits at the right hand of the Father, it is affirming that he has equal status to the Father within the Godhead (Hebrews 1:3, 12:2; 1 Peter 3:22; Acts 7:55-56). All things in creation are under the power of the throne of God.

🎶 🎶 I'm Upset -Drake 🎶 🎶

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Nobody likes a sell out 😡

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God has two sides just like you, pick which one you want. 😇 👿 (mercy, peacefullness, joy /and righteous anger ...not black and white stop being racist for the people who can't understand symbolism).

If you think this means two-faced you should see what many of your leaders do behind closed doors...at least God is honest. What do you mean God doesn't have emotions? How do you have a relationship with others, without emotions? Why am I doing all the thinking 😉...back to peace

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Now where were we? Oh yeah, started from the bottom...🙄 or whichever way is going to help you learn my loves ❤️. Sorry, The Melchizedek have bipolar disorder.

(Niv) 1 Corinthians 1:27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. ( outdated songs and movies (prophecy) for your outdated books and knowledge, in our opinion some of the oldest songs are the best). 😂

After you scroll to the bottom you can see if this post helps you (cheat sheet link below) We do advise you visit The Phoenix Moshsh school before you leave ...we know, we know you have a job and school and are not homeless...so Phoenix Mosheh is sure you can find the time to do your research..just like Phoenix Mosheh did. Amen? Phoenic Mosheh reccommends the Godly Wives Show, so you can redeem every woman that is not in your bibles... but for some reason you have a problem with the false meaning of a rainbow smh so brainwashed. 🌈

I hope you pass the test.

The School of Phoenix Mosheh (Tribes, use the laziest finger you have to scroll down until you see "The School of Phoenix Mosheh link below). 🌈

Hola hermosa, te quejaste de que no había índice... ¿Dios dijo que estás interesada en la moda y la esteticista? ¿No? ¿Maquillaje natural también? Eres el rasgo empresarial/creativo. ¡Guarda lo que estudias para ti! Gracias. ¿Perezoso o no perezoso? está bien. belleza de negocios ♥

If you are saying to yourself...why didn't you put this cheat sheet up for us? Previously, we were testing your tribes for specific traits. These people don't have your traits (teaching/analytical)...they were failing horribly. Congrats, class of uhm...

Leadership Analytical Pairings

teaching and analytical traits

scientific/analytical

healing/analytical

What are your natural interest/inclinations?

(For better understanding visit Linkedin)

(Visit School of Phoenix Mosheh for bible story, trait disorders & more)

(Q: The Alpha Melchizedek both have a variation of the Omniprescent Trait does God count them as individuals when they come together or as ONE)?

God is a God of Order you can't have everyone thinking they are Alphas...you'll create fakes with a God Complex and disorder.

Jesus reveals:

"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End." Revelation 22:13

Omega (God) sent to Earth (Alpha) Jesus next son of Jesus in line (Sigma) siblings (Betas)...

Tip: It may also help if you look at the books (bibles) you are reading like they were stolen from the people who created them for their own families. The Melchizedek Family Library.

Guys, The Melchizedek are not about to get scolding (spankings) 😱😰😭 because you think we are trying to play God...we are not God (Omega). The Melchizedek said that several times.

https://youtu.be/SXKlJuO07eM?si=Eiqr5KPgBJna1cWt -Part of Your World - The little mermaid

If you did not do your research and think the Melchizedek are actually wolves, worms, animals, mermaids, jellyfish, reptilian,chameleon vampires etc you failed this test. PERSONIFICATION. If people who are scientist and doctors 😉 can get these concepts , especially those who may have considered themselves Atheist or Agnostic, you should be asking yourselves why can't you?

As for those who got this, regardless of having a religiois background or not, God will show you what to do, you have intuition (a mind), God confirms through your intuition mind, what you should do. now that you are aware. This is permission. God knows it's not your fault. We need Modern Day Practitioners.

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Phoenix Mosheh doesn't care how many followers you have...OK? Neither does God.

Do not follow Phoenix Mosheh. Do Not Vote for Phoenix Mosheh. You can comment but Phoenix Mosheh will not answer and Phoenix Mosheh reccommendz you do not comment (think about why?). Are you a visual learner try the Phoenix Mosheh YouTube channel. Everything you need to understand is on these 3 platforms. Find out how you can share if you want, on The School of Phoenix Mosheh post or Linkedin. Do Your research. Thanks.

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Wait...wait don't forget to scroll to the bottom, and remember feelings don't override truth...we still need you to use your brain (logic). ✌ You're welcome, sometimes I forget what I have read too (amnesia).

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 3 years

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The Magical Word of JKR

In this post, I want to point out all the inconsistencies of the world that JKR has created. Some of us had been worshiping her for so long. But JKR made mistakes, not only outside her world, but inside.

Owls for muggleborns. Sending a letter through an owl seems to be something common in The Wizarding World. But why do children with a muggle background need to go back in time and use them when they could use a phone? Why can't students use any muggle technology? I know wizards are anti muggle and magic does not allow these devices to function at Hogwarts, but why not?

Drunk portraits. How could portraits get drunk? Did artists paint vessels and digestive systems for them too? How can they bleed? They are portraits with voices and personality based on real people yeah. But they are not alive. They don’t bleed or get drunk.

The trace. Wizards under 17 aren’t supposed to do magic outside Hogwarts. But The Ministry doesn’t seem to control this by which wand did it. But by location. Since Dobby did magic in the Chamber of Secrets, and they blamed Harry for it. So, what happens with pureblood kids? They are allowed to use magic outside school because their families are supposed to, so they wouldn’t trace them. So it seems unfair for muggleborns not to be able to practice magic. Since they are the only members of their family that would do it.

Hogwarts being the only school. There is only one school in all Britain for magical people. Yet there seems to be very few students when there should be a lot. And it doesn’t make sense that Hogwarts is the only choice. Or Hogwarts, or homeschooling.

I don’t understand the population of Magical Folks. It seems little because most of the wizarding families are known. There are only 28 pureblood famous families. They even practise inbreeding, they are all related. But why is that, if the wizard gene is dominant? There are more half bloods and muggleborns than squibs. So the magical population should be as large as the muggle one, even more.

Hogwarts Houses are cool. But the way kids are sorted doesn’t make sense. They get sorted when they are eleven. Seems pretty young to me to form traits and criteria that might change as they grow. Also, let’s say 100 kids enter Hogwarts one year. They won’t be sorted equally 25/25/25/25. Because according to personalities and traits, there could be 60 Gryffindors and 10 Ravenclaws, and 4 Slyhterins, and 25 Hufflepuffs. What if one year, there are no Slytherins for example?

Also, sharing a dorm, common room and classes with people from your same house (same personality and traits) seems boring and unhealthy. Having friends with different personalities, traits and beliefs should help you grow and mature. Sometimes friendships are built between two opposite people. And separating houses, forces students to just hang out with people from their houses, not others.

Love potions. These are the wizarding equivalent of drugs. Think about it. Forcing someone to show love for you is very much like drugging someone and forcing them to do stuff against their will. Love potions can permit things like raping. Something that happened to Tom Sr. by Merope. It is horrible. Yet the wizarding world permits their selling and consumption without a problem. And what’s worse, they teach how to brew it in school to children! A potion like that shouldn’t be allowed or taught.

Azkaban being the only punishment. It seems whether you are a dangerous criminal like a mass murderer or just someone that stole something once, you get the same punishment. Azkaban. An inhumane place where dementors live, and make prisoners go insane, live their worst nightmares or suck their soul. Even characters who were under the imperius curse like Stanley Shunpike. Or even The Marauders would’ve gone to Azkaban if their animagus secret was discovered. No matter what your crime is, always the worst punishment: Azkaban.

Wizards hiding from muggles. The Statue of Secrecy in the Wizarding World seems to be important. But I may ask, how can wizards hide from muggles if they don’t know anything about them? Pureblood Wizards don’t have a clue how muggles live, behave, dress, talk. Not even Arthur Weasley who works in that Department. Yet they want to be unnoticed by muggles? For example, each time a wizard dresses like a muggle they do it wrong, using colorful clothes. Wouldn’t it be suspicious? Like even Vernon sees people in cloaks in book 1, celebrating. Also, if there are a lot of muggleborns, shouldn’t more muggles know about wizards?

It is totally inhumane to just obliviate muggles each time they see something. That spell should have some consequences in their brains. Like for example, Hermione’s parents must’ve had mayhem after their minds were modified.

Memories in pensieves are not supposed to be accurate. Memories are from our point of view. From the perspective of people who lived that memory. When Harry sees Snape’s memories or Bob Ogden’s memories, they seem to be clear. Harry can see Bob and Snape in those memories when they should be seen through their eyes, they are their memories. How could Snape remember himself, see himself. You get my point? Also, memories are subjective, not objective. We remember what impacted us the most, we forget about details we don’t care about. There are feelings involved.

Not having another education after Hogwarts. You graduate from Hogwarts at eighteen. Eighteen! And you're supposed to have figured out what you want to do for the rest of your life. Why aren’t there Wizard Universities? Wizards only have 7 years of education and that’s all. Nothing before, nothing after (unless you’re muggleborn). Seems that the wizard community doesn’t care about education that much. With only seven years of education, are you suddenly prepared for the rest of your life? I don’t think so.

Adding to the last point, wizards only teach about magic. What about math, wouldn’t they need it to count their money, or take care of their finances? What about English, spelling, grammar? Not every kid had the privilege to be homeschooled by their parents before. What about Sex Ed? I think it is important for teens that age to be careful with their sex lives.

Quidditch being the only sport in the wizarding world. Quidditch is cool, I get it. But it is not for everyone. Seems that if you want to be a sports person in the wizarding world, you only have that option. Either you like Quidditch or nothing.Shouldn’t there be other sports? In the muggle world we have tons: football, basquet, tennis, swimming, running, etc.

Love protection is not common. Lily sacrificed herself for Harry. She died for him and that love protection saved his life. Why is Harry the only one to experience it? Is it because of the prophecy? I mean Lily is not the only one who has sacrificed herself for love. Not in the story, not in History. Then why aren’t there more people with lighting scars walking around?

Why don’t wizards cure things with magic like eyesight? They have a potion that grows bones back. But they cannot cure Harry’s eyesight? And don’t say that it is because eyes are connected to the soul, that’s a lame excuse. In the muggle world, eyesight can be cured with surgery.

Hogwarts Express. Yeah, we all wanted to ride the train to Hogwarts. It is part of the experience right? But what if you live in Scotland already? Why bother traveling to London to King Cross Station to take a train if you already live there? It seems like a waste of time. Is there a provided transport for kids who live in Scotland? What about those who don't live in London? What if Scotland is nearer to them than King Cross?

Ghosts. They shouldn’t exist. It is not very well explained how you become a ghost. But it doesn’t make sense that they exist and yet many characters died and didn’t become one.

Discrimination against magical creatures. We know how magical creatures are seen in the Wizarding World. Discrimination exists. But the problem is that Jkr never does anything to fix this.Not with werewolves, not with half giants, surely not with house-elves. The only issue that the war solved was the discrimination against muggleborns.

And house-elves liking their slavery is problematic. It is saying that slavery is right as long as the victim accepts it. She created S.P.E.W and never properly addressed the issue.

The Forbidden Forest is dangerous, yet students have detention there. Dumbledore says at the beginning of each year that the Forest is out of bounds. So why would you send students to detention there, Dumbles? Also, building a school near a forest full of dangerous beasts: werewolves, acromantulas, centaurs, seems kind of risky for children. Not every child obeys the rules. Look at the Marauders spending every full moon there.

How did Hagrid come to be? Hagrid is half giant. Meaning that his father is human, his mother is a giant… Ehemm… Excuse me, but how do you have sex with a giant? That’s physically impossible. How does Hagrid exist?

Male veelas? We are only introduced to female veelas in the Wizarding World. Veelas are these beautiful women that men feel attracted to, they seem in trance by their beauty, and they are not responsible for their actions. It seems to me that JKR is saying that men should not be accountable for their actions when they see a pretty girl, because it is her fault? Pretty feminist, JKR. Also, veelas are dangerous creatures. How do humans procreate with them and have half veelas or a quarter of a veela? Are there male veelas too?

Teachers not having spouses or kids. It is a stupid stereotype that teachers are sad non social people, who are only teaching because they don’t have a choice. Like they are allowed to have social lives, date, get married and have children, right? Name one Hogwarts teacher who is married with kids. They all seem pretty single. And I get it, being single is not a bad thing. But all of them being single just because they are teachers in a boarding school? Just because it was convenient to the author? Only McGonagall married once, but her husband died a few years after.

Abusive teachers. Speaking of teachers, why would Hogwarts allow incompetent teachers that are abusive (Snape), and or are dangerous for kids. None DADA teacher had teaching experience before. And since there is no further education than Hogwarts, how do teachers get prepared for the job? Teaching is not about knowing a lot of stuff about the subject, but knowing how to treat children.

Muggle vs Wizard music. What is the difference between muggle and wizard music? I never understood that. Is it the fact that wizards play music with magic? If so, why would instruments exist? Why would they play instruments? If anyone can make a spell to produce music, then anyone can be a musician. The only difference that I find is that wizard music has wizard related lyrics. Which is a stupid difference. Wizards could write songs about muggles. Muggles could write songs about wizards.

Secret Keeper. The Fidelius Charm should be a spell to hide yourself from others if you are in danger. Period. There shouldn’t be such a thing as a secret keeper. Why? Why would someone else need to know the place you are hiding? James and Lily shouldn’t have trusted anyone with their location. Not even Sirius. Not even someone they trusted, because Sirius or anyone could’ve died and passed the secret to the others. Like, it doesn’t make any sense. And also, how could Bill and Arthur be their own secret keepers but not James and Lily?

Magical therapists. Healers seem to cure physical maladies or illness pretty fine, but what about mental health? And I am not talking about mental problems because of magic. Like Frank, Alice, Lockheart whose minds were affected by spells. I’m talking about mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, adhd, ptsd, trauma etc. Don’t tell me wizards don’t suffer that. What about Remus, Sirius, Harry? Who treats these things in the wizarding world?

Time Turner. Only exists for the plot. Otherwise it is useless, stupid and confusing. Time traveling confuses the mind. Also, we don’t exactly know how it works. Is it a domino effect? Do the things you do back in time affect the present? They should. Or does it create different timelines, like it is said in Cursed Child? Also, why not use time turners for important situations? For example, save important people from dying, go back to check events of a crime and see if they are true.

Veritaserum. Wizards have a truth potion and they won’t use it. They should use it on trials to take the truth out of criminals, to see if the accusants are innocent or not. They should’ve used it on each member of the Order to find out who the spy was. They should’ve used it to discover who was the Slytherin heir when the Chamber was opened. They should’ve used it on Harry when he came back from the Graveyard to prove Voldemort was back. Why would that shit exist anyway?

Incest families. Pureblood families, or at least some of them are supposed to practise inbreeding. But if you look at the Black Family Tree, the only Black-Black marriage is between Orion and Walburga. Just one. And even if this was the case, shouldn’t this inbreeding have consequences? I don’t know if it’s the magical gene or what but The Blacks and Malfoys seem pretty fine.

If you know more and you want to add them, feel free to do so. This is a critique to improve this word and fandom ourselves. Even JKR's world is cool and wonderful, it is full of flaws that we need to speak about.

#harry potter fandom #harry potter #wizarding world #jkr is a bad writer #anti jkr #anti snape #wizards #hogwarts #quidditch #maraudersera fandom #muggles #wizards vs muggles

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writernomore · 4 years

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Two sides of the same coin.

Alright! So this is how it’s gonna go, I thought of this little somewhat scenario in my head with an Oc of mine, Where she’s like a long lost sister of Harry Potter where there is this prophecy about twins being separated and brought back together when the situation goes dire.

Summary: Y/n Brighton adopted daughter of a Muggle family has been accepted into Hogwarts a school for wizards and witches has lived a peaceful life before going to Hogwarts, all of that changes when she is accepted the same year as the infamous Harry Potter.

How did your life get to this point?

Your wondering Y/n what do you mean?

Well I’ll tell, I was living quite a normal boring life that held the same routine and would only switch up time to time.

It all changed when I had received a letter, It was weird cause my parents were talking about me going to a private school, the schools name was Hogwarts it was really peculiar because I had never heard of it, and so did my parents, so we wrote back hoping to receive an explanation, we asked and we received.

Hogwarts was a school for young wizards and witches being taught magic, I wasn’t buying it but then weird stuff happened to me I when I would be scared or angry.

I then decided to learn what I can, buying books that contained things that I needed to know about magic, famous wizards and witches, and since I was adopted my biological parents were probably magical like me.

Excitedly going to Diagon alley to buy what I needed with my Family alongside with me, fully supporting me, My older brothers calling me cool and asking if I could do cool tricks like the wizards in games and movies did, My little siblings looking up to me and proud for having a witch for a sister.

There was also news that spread really fast through out the wizarding world about the boy who lived, Harry Potter.

Harry Potter, was only a baby when Voldemort or people call him you-know-who but you really didn’t see the point by calling him that, decided to kill Harry and his family, Harry’s parents were murdered but Harry survived but didn’t leave unscathed, He had a lightning shaped scar on his forehead.

I don’t know if that was pure coincidence but you also had a scar in a shape of a star on the side of your neck.

Your Mother had told you before hand to be careful because she heard that Voldemort was only gone for a while and we wouldn’t know when or if he’d come back, so you promised your Mother you would write to her updating your situation in Hogwarts every weekend, knowing you would stay in dorms at school.

Your parents cried when they saw you in your school uniform and robes at Madam Malkin's Robes, your brothers bothering them if they could try on the uniform to, causing you to giggle.

It was then you were there at King’s cross station, parked at the front and getting your luggage and your owl out of the car with the help of your siblings and Father while Mother carried your new born Baby brother and sister.

You asked as how you were going to get on to platform 9 and 3/4 before hand, You and your whole family running at the wall between platform 9 and 10.

The train was magnificent, after exchanging goodbye’s and kisses your luggage was placed into the train and you were now finding a compartment to sit in, it was all full.

You were passing by a compartment when you heard a familliar name.

“Holy Cricket you must be Harry Potter!” You heard a girls voice.

“I’m Hermione Granger and...you are?”

“Um, Ronald Weasley” “Pleasure”

You shook your head and just continued to walk around finding a place to sit for a while and change into your uniform and robes.

The train had stop meaning you were at the station, going outside seeing a giant bearded man approached the station holding a lamp calling the first years to him, being you who had to behave because her parents weren’t around and clearly not knowing anyone, you obeyed and followed the 8 foot giant.

The travel going to Hogwarts was fascinating travelling by boat with four people each in it.

Then there you stood, getting out of the boat being presented in front of a large castle, Holy.

You were guaranteed you were going to get lost, and this was no mall, this was going to be the school you would be studying in for 7 years, they definitely would be having a map lying around, right? Like the castle was massive!

The inside was fascinating in itself, It looked so grand ascending at the staircase you were met with a woman with Her hair tide up into a neat bun wearing a green robe and glasses.

She introduces herself to be one of the professors in Hogwarts, Professor Mcgonagall and that we would be sorted into houses that would be like our families, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin.

She leaves us there for a while when this blonde kid speaks,

“So it’s true what they’re saying in the train, Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts” Others start whispering to each other while you on the other side just wanna get sorted and sleep, standing for a while having an effect on you.

“I’m Malfoy, Draco Malfoy” Ron snorts “You think my name is funny do you? Red Hair, Freckles, and a hand me down robe, you must be a Weasley” Draco said while he looked Ron up and Down “You see some wizarding families are more well off then others, you don’t want to be making friends with the wrong sort” “I think I can tell the wrong sort myself thank you” Draco surprised looked at Harry while other children snickering from behind, While you get Hangry wouldn’t care less.

The Professor Mcgonagall comes back to lead us to the Great hall where there were other students seated at four different tables in different colored robes assuming that’s why they had to sort us in houses.

You opened you eyes and looked up at the ceiling widening in awe on how beautiful it looked, the night sky on the ceiling of the hall, remembering it wasn’t real and that it was made to look like that in A Hogwarts History.

The first years stopped walking and a four legged stool was placed at the front where the teachers and students could see you being sorted into your house, you were not a social lot, or nor you were unsocial you just didn’t like the feeling of many eyes staring at you.

Professor Mcgonagall rolled out a scroll that had a list of names, students were called and seated on the stool and the sorting hat would be sorted into their houses.

Your name was called; Y/n Brighton.

Y/n sat down on the stool and tried to shake off the feeling of eyes watching her when the hat landed on her head and covered her eyes she could finally be sorted into a house and get this thing over with to stop the feeling of everyone's eyes boring into her.

"Ah..Yes.. Difficult very Difficult there's so much potential and a mystery waiting to be solved of your origins.." origins? You thought wondering what the hat meant by that.

"You are cunning, intelligent creative too..you could do pleanty of wonders better it would be.."

The hat stalls for a while deciding what House to sort you in, You just wanted to be sorted into a house any house, you just wanted to get down form there, nothing bad will happen anyways if you were sorted into a unexpected house, "SLYTHERIN!" The sorting hat shouts, the Slytherin table bustling having a new member on their side, the sorting hat was taken off your head and you jumped off the stool and walked to the Slytherin table.

You sat down and were still hanging onto what the sorting hat meant by ‘ a mystery waiting to be solved of your origins’ What did he mean? is it cause I’m adopted?

After the sorting ceremony and a speech we all went to eat, I was waiting for this I was starving the food was good and delicious It was like home.

*-*

You were completely lost!

It was surely a stupid idea but you just followed the person in front of you, hoping you would get to where you were going.

And as stupid as it may seem it worked? You got to potions class and coincidently sat next to famous Harry Potter.

You got out your book and turned to the page Professor instructed the class to turn to and began discussing.

Next to you Harry was writing down stuff, you put your hand on top of his a signal for him to stop writing, and he did.

He looked up at you confused then you shaked your head and pointed at Snape’s direction, he looked at him and just put his quill down, you retreating your hand to listen in on the lecture.

Let’s just say you saved him one by telling him to stop writing.

It was time for Broom flight class, and boy this was going to be terrifying.

Don’t get me wrong flying brooms sounds cool and all but not when you were afraid of falling of the broom and hitting your head and forgetting who you are and who your family were and-

Okay! No overthinking! Overthinking is bad it restricts you in doing things properly...

There you were skillfully flying on your broom doing loopty loops with some struggles with your grip on the broom, it was like the broom had a mind of it’s own but you were still holding on.

No-one was clearly paying attention cause they were watching Harry getting Neville’s remembrall back.

He got it back, yes, But he was called by Professor Mcgonagall.

You went back down so you wouldn’t be scolded, a kid did complimented your little tricks, you thanked them.

It would be hard to make such an image if you were in the same year as Harry Potter.

So you took the chance of just doing well with your new subjects and learn and understand as much as you can.

Your Y/n Brighton after all!

Or where you?

---------------------

You don’t know how excited I am to do this series I’ve had this idea for a while now and I just want to hope you guys will like this series, yes a series, for how long? I do not know, Have I already thought who would be Y/n’s love interest? Yes and there will be no love interest cause Y/n is an independent queen who always speaks her mind and will never be shut up.

Also I would like to think reader would look like Lily and has red hair but has James eyes, Like Harry looking like his Father but has his Mothers eyes, also I guess I’ll be putting stuff I learnt about when I started reading the Harry Potter books, I haven’t finished but it’s better than not being able to read it yet and I had to make reader be sorted into Slytherin cause #Normalizesiblingsindifferenthouses.

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ladyandtheghost · 4 years

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I love your blog and especially reading your metas. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how things could have ended if we had Political!Jon and I thought you would be one of the people to ask. I can picture him pretending to bend the knee so he can get Dany’s help during the fight against the dead...but then like what happens after? In the show, they fucked up and made him completely loyal to her (up until the end) when it could have been so interesting. Would he have betrayed her before going to King’s Landing? Afterwards? Would he have used the fact that he was the Targaryen heir to make her back down and let the North be independent? What do you think?

Hi Anon, thanks for bringing up these very interesting questions :)

I always felt that Political!Jon was implied even up to the very end, which makes it even more unfathomable that they wanted us to believe Jon was loyal to her and thought her a “good queen” all this time.

After securing her help (which honestly is not even a shitty reason to just feign loyalty, considering they were in a life-or-death situation) I always thought Jon was so focused on the WW threat that he pushed all thoughts away of what would happen after. He bent the knee in the dragon pit and slept with her - two things he did not *have* to do but that he knew would clearly *please* her to the point of HER being loyal to him and to his people.

It was so brilliant in fact, because it actually made Jon appear “smarter than Robb”, with the opposite move to Robb’s spurning the marriage alliance he did not want. Jon went with it, he went to bed with a woman he did not love in order to forge an alliance and secure help for his people. There was no malice in it (like D stans always accuse us of) just pure desperation, he needed those dragons and he needed her to be focused and fully committed to saving them (and leave Cersei be for a while).

Political!Jon would never have been blind to all the red flags of Dany being a tyrant, watching her in Dragonstone and later finding out what she did to Lannister soldiers and the Tarlys. In S7 they were showing us Jon’s reactions to her awful behaviour: he was having none of it, it was clear that he neither admired her nor liked her much. Now, the “rescue” was supposed to have changed that, but why? How did this one act of her playing Deus Ex Machina cancel out everything else he knew and felt about her? Jon all but warned Missandei that Dany would never let her go, he knew what she was like...

So Jon was supposed to have seen Dany clearly for the first time here, when in truth it seemed much more like he saw her dragons in action clearly for the first time. He saw their power and how they wiped out masses of WW. It even ties up with Quaithe’s prophecy:

“They shall come day and night to see the wonder born into the world again. And when they see they shall lust... for dragons are fire made flesh... and fire is power."

And here’s where the show got it ALL wrong: Jon DID lust. Jon lusted for the dragons and their power against the WW. But the show wanted us to only believe that Jon lusted for Dany. You know, like a guy who thinks with his dick even in a precarious situation. Like Robb and like Tyrion. Jon WANTING those dragons made SO much sense - not only to save his people, but also because he’s a Targ and there is some degree of that dragon-obsession inside him - and yet instead of acknowledging Jon’s true nature and intentions that made all the sense in the world, the show opted to insert the spirit of horny Dany-fanboys into the character of Jon. Because that’s what they thought made the show so popular. Because hero must be lusting after the hottest girl on the show, right?

God forbid that he was only planning to use her dragons for his campaign...

When Jon took her hand and called her “Dany” and “his queen” on the ship, and then ominously said “they will see you for WHAT you are” that was Political!Jon to the highest degree. That was Jon utilising what he’s learned from, well, Sansa. Flattering the monster, giving it nice names, pretending to buy into their bullshit and making it appear as if you are just the dumbest person for them.

(Not to mention that “for WHAT you are” I will never get over how dark that hit)

And even in S8, I feel there was still an implication of Political!Jon hanging in the air, for example the fact that Jon NEVER stood up for Dany, singing her praises - Tyrion has to do that. And then there is Sansa...Sansa who KNOWS

Seriously, Sansa straightout *asks* Jon whether he loves Dany or kisses her ass to secure help for the North.

Sansa literally: Are you Political!Jon or Stupid!Jon?

Jon: *cricket sounds*

Why not just confirm it? Why beat around the bush? Why cut away at this pivotal moment. And I think I can speak for the Jonerys community in this one instant who must have screamed with frustration that they did not get the confirmation they wanted so badly. The show still implied that Jon might have been thinking politically rather than with his genitals.

The biggest WAIT WHAT? moment, however, was this:

Dany just confirmed that Jon succeeded in convincing her to (momentarily) give up her war against Cersei to fight “Jon’s war” - and deadass asks “Tell me who manipulated whom?” And OMG I need whoever directed that scene to explain Sansa’s reaction to me because it makes zero sense unless it’s supposed to confirm that Sansa in that moment understands that Jon *did* manipulate Dany and that he does *not* love her or became stupid for her.

When I saw this scene for the first time, I screamed because it was such a huge hint at Political!Jon and Sansa’s reaction was literally all of us being relieved that Jon is NOT stupid.

The thing is, even after The Long Night, it still made sense for Jon to go South and help with the war against Cersei, seen as Cersei was the more ‘immediate’ threat to the North (and Sansa in particular). So that was still within the lines of what could be excused...

And then it went to pot...

There is no way in hell that Jon Snow would silently stand by as Dany burns Varys. He may not be able to prevent it, but S1-7!Jon would have *said* something at least, he would have looked away or criticized her it. He would certainly not have condoned it.

And it only gets worse from here on out: In what universe would Jon seriously make excuses for someone who just burned a million innocent people for no other reason but their own satisfaction.

I know they were trying to instil some kind of “conflict” in Jon, to make him feel torn between his duty towards Dany and his love for his family, but Lord, it was not a good look for him.

Jon trying to defend her actions and making excuses for her to Arya and then Tyrion was some of the dumbest and most insane dialogue every written on this show and I strongly feel that a little part of GRRM died inside at that moment.

So for me, Political!Jon was still possible up to the very last episode, when two characters had to *explain* to Jon the difference between good and bad and what is acceptable behaviour. Adding insult to injury, Tyrion even compared his own “love” (read: lust) for Dany to Jon’s as if they were both just a couple of simps who had been fooled by a hot woman.

Political!Jon was always a covert concept, something lying underneath, a possibility for something more interesting that what was being presented on the surface. That used to be the strength of GoT: the unexpected plot twists and turns.

But it still makes me hopeful for the books, because GRRM *is* indeed taking his good old time to do things properly and to create a multi-layered story. Who knows Political!Jon might be a part of that story...

Thanks you for the kind message and great question, Anon :)

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aethelflaedladyofmercia · 4 years

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What Might Have Been - 8

My ongoing fic for @goodomenscelebration. Crowley has arrived in the post-Apocalypse wasteland, searching for Aziraphale. Angst and destruction ahead.

Parts 1-6 here.

Part 7 here (despite what the lying title might say)

Family

Crowley couldn’t sense Aziraphale.

Or rather, he could sense Aziraphale, knew he was somewhere in the world, but that was as far as he knew. Not the direction, nor the distance, nor anything else.

He circled over the V-cut valley of Devil’s Dyke, looking for anything familiar. Looking for anything alive.

Those cliffs to the left looked like the ones they had chosen for their home, but there was no cottage, no garden, no little copse of trees sheltering it from view. The landscape had been scraped clean to the bright-white stone underneath.

He circled again, over a lake of fire, another frozen but sublimating, like dry ice. A river of sludge that seemed to run uphill. White bones of animals that never lived in this part of the world, looking far too large to be allowed.

Another circle, further out. Over there – the village of Ditchling. Aziraphale dragged him down there for tea at that little café twice a week. He liked to walk down the main street and wave to the humans as if he’d lived among them for decades.

No one lived there now.

With a flutter of black wings, Crowley came to rest at the traffic circle in the center of the village. To one side, that bakery where Aziraphale liked to browse cakes and bottles of wine, windows smashed, shelves bare; to the other, the old Post Office building, which looked as if it had been torn apart from the inside out. What little remained of the brick walls were black with soot.

One whole side of the village was just gone, foundations still smoldering: the little shop where they bought vegetables whenever Aziraphale got it in his mind to try cooking dinner, the jewelers where they would look at rings, had been looking for months, still hadn’t made a decision because Aziraphale needed Crowley’s to be perfect.

Just past the bakery was a little plant shop, which had fared no better. Little pots and planters – once brightly colored, now chipped and faded – held the brown, withered remains of plants. He touched one, and it fell to dust between his fingers. Nothing could survive here.

Except, in the back, he thought he saw a bit of green. Stepping carefully through the shattered window, Crowley moved through the shop to a corner that got little light, but also shielded its plants from whatever happened on the street. And there it was: a tall succulent, most of its green waxy leaves already turned yellow and fallen off, but a few still clinging to life. He tugged at one, and it was still springy, still a little soft.

“Well. I don’t know how you survived this long, but a little water and you might make it.” He picked up the pot. “Doubt we’ll find any. But let’s see what we can do.”

He was easing back through the window and happened to glance back towards the traffic circle –

Something – someone – darted across the street.

Crowley hunched, pulling his wings out again, clutching his plant close, ready to flee. Aziraphale? Probably not; if the angel were that close, no chance his sense would be so confused. Someone else.

He could run, of course, fly away. He was here to find Aziraphale, and nothing else. He would find his angel, take him home, rescue their lovely home from the Archangels, and never think of this place again.

Except…

Except he was here now, and he didn’t know what was going on.

Crowley hated not knowing what was going on.

And the best way to find out was to ask someone.

With one last brimstone-scented breath, Crowley started towards the figure.

By the time he’d rounded to corner, it was empty again – just a long stretch of road, past the little café with the garden in the back, the inn, the church. It was too silent. Wind whistled over broken glass, but that was all. No rustle of paper, no skitter of feet, no birds, no insects. With the sky dark and scabbed over, he couldn’t even tell what time of day or night it was. The world seemed paused, frozen, holding its breath.

A foot scuffed.

Crowley pressed himself to the side of the inn, wings hidden. Something was just around the corner, perhaps in the parking lot. He set the plant down in the window box, among the decaying remains of its kin, and pressed himself to the wall, trying to look without being seen. It didn’t work, though, not only because his glasses got in the way.

“Right,” he whispered to himself. Could be a demon. Or an angel. Or…anything. Be ready to look and run. He had enough energy for one more form shift today, and a rat could very easily get lost in the ruins.

Snapping around the corner, Crowley found the other being was also pressed tight to the wall, trying to peer without being seen. Almost as tall as Crowley, dressed all in black, with short blond hair, just a hint of curl. The boy looked at him with wide – and very familiar – eyes.

“Adam?” Crowley took a step forward.

Mistake. Crowley was, immediately and without passing through any intermediate space, on the roof of the church across the street. He skittered for a second, trying to keep his balance on the impossibly steep pitch, but the building was in ruins, the consecration weakened to the point that he could barely feel it at all.

“Go away! Leave me alone!” The boy shouted, already backing up the street. “I won’t do it any longer, you hear me? I mean it this time! I want – I want to be left alone!”

“Adam, wait!” He shook out his wings again, jumping after the boy. There was no mistaking him, of course – the powers were a giveaway, but he looked almost exactly like the young boy he and Aziraphale had visited in Tadfield only a month ago. Except that Adam had been full of smirks and slouches and bad jokes, trying to convince Crowley to let him drive the Bentley just once around town, no one’ll know but me and Dog. Explaining his idea for a new ice cream flavor even the Americans hadn’t thought of yet. Laughing when Aziraphale asked him if it was possible to get a rotary smartphone.

This Adam stood ramrod straight, body shifting back to attention every time he stopped moving. Older, he seemed, stronger for certain, with a calculating look that took in everything. His eyes darted now, as he frowned, hiding a fear Crowley had never seen in him, not even at the Airbase three years ago.

But it was still him. Still his godson.

“Adam,” he tried again, softening his voice, holding his hands to the sides. “Do you know who I am?”

“Yeah,” he bunched his fists. “A demon. Think I don’t know? You might not be dressed for battle, but it’s obvious. Well, back off, or I’ll put you inside the church next time. I can, you know.” His lip trembled. “And I’m – I’m not going to fight again. I don’t – don’t care what you lot do to me, I’m not –”

“No.” Crowley took another step forward. “I’m not going to hurt you, Adam. You should be able to see that. In my mind.”

“Not looking in a demon’s mind,” Adam snapped. “Not after last time. You keep your nasty – everything to yourself.” He glanced over his shoulder, as if planning to run. But it was a long way to the next town, with bugger-all in between. “Why d’you keep calling me that, anyway?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Crowley adjusted his glasses, almost pulling them off. Would it make the kid more comfortable, or less? “Isn’t that your name?”

The sullen shrug was almost something the real Adam would have done, except without the little smile that always followed it. “I guess. No one’s called me that since…” he waved a hand, taking in everything.

“What happened, Adam?” A Tudor house had stood nearby, white plaster and ornate stickwork, with a brick section said to date back a thousand years. All gone now, except a set of brick steps, rising ten feet to open out onto empty air. Crowley sprawled against the side of it. “To England? To you?”

“Armageddon,” he snapped. Well. That was fairly obvious.

“You didn’t stop it?”

“Stop it? I started it!” He clenched his jaw, face twisting in pain. Both hands pressed to his forehead. “I didn’t mean to. The voices…they get so loud. Until I can’t think. Until I don’t want to think.” He looked up again, tears in his eyes. “I know – we both know they’ll make me go back. Just. Let me have until then. Just a few days.” Genuine pleading, the kind that only comes from real fear.

“Go back where? Tell me what’s going on.”

“Go back to your – your stupid war! I don’t want to fight, I don’t want to destroy angels, I don’t want to kill two billion humans, and I don’t want to declare myself God! I just…I want…” He bit his lip, stepping back, as if expecting to be hit.

“What?” Crowley slid down the wall to crouch just above the ground. That all sounded familiar, something from the books of prophecy Aziraphale had never stopped reading. But all that could wait. “What is it you want, Adam?”

The boy leaned against the brick stairs, and arm length away, and slid slowly down until he was in a crouch of his own. “I want…I want to go home. I miss my mum and dad. Your lot made me send them away, at the first battle.” He shrugged. “Not that they cared about me.”

“Ugh,” Crowley cracked his head against the wall. He did not come out here planning to deal with teenaged self-esteem issues. “Adam. Look. We both know the only reason your parents went away is because you compelled them. For Someone’s sake, I’ve met them. There’s no way they don’t care about you.”

Adam frowned in confusion. “How do you know my parents?”

“Ehhhhh…long story.” Crowley smirked. “You could save us both a lot of time, just read it from my head? No?” He shrugged. “Then you’re just going to have to trust me. I’ve met your parents. And I can tell you, it’s absolutely disgusting how attached to you they are.”

Adam snorted. “I think you’ve got the wrong parents, mate. Mine didn’t need to be brainwashed to take off back to America without me.”

Crowley stared ahead.

Then he turned to Adam, ripping his glasses off. “Did you say America? Did you – back to America?”

“Yeah.” Adam shrugged. “Thought you said you knew.”

Crowley wrestled with a sudden feeling of unease. Somehow, in an Apocalypse-torn wasteland version of the home he’d built, he’d found something that could make it worse. “What’s…tell me your full name. Full human name. What your parents called you.”

“Well, my mum called me Adam,” he said slowly, “but my full name was Warlock Adam Thaddeus Dowling.”

(Note for clarity: This is Adam. In this universe, the switch didn’t go wrong, he was raised by the Dowlings, and I compromised a bit on the name to what I hoped would be least confusing. I also tried to make his personality partway between Adam and Warlock, thanks to those Dowling influences. He’s 14 here.)

#good omens fanfiction #good omens celebration #goc2020 #crowley #adam young #good omens prime #alternate universe #good omens #fanfic #family #post apocalyptic #angst #good omens angst #My writing #What Might Have Been

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luxurystark-jackson · 3 years

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Today on Elsa Rants, we have crappy villains: Voldemort

First of all, let’s start off by saying that Voldemort is definitely one of the most egotistic villains that I’ve seen. Absolute dumbass material. His main problem is that his fucking ego stops him from killing Harry as quickly as fucking possible. Honestly.

This is super obvious from the first book onwards. How easy would it be to just lure Harry into the forbidden forest and kill him? Voldy’s stupid ego wants a grand murder, and that’s his greatest flaw as well. Every single time, this dumbass tries to kill Harry spectacularly and fails. Every. Single. Time.

Voldemort’s true downfall wasn’t all that love bullshit that Harry and Dumbledore preach about.

It was his ridiculously huge ego.

The ego that, time after time, prevented him from murdering Harry as simply as possible.

This is something that’s evident throughout the series. For starters, in the first book, Voldy could’ve easily made Quirrell cast a simple Avada Kedavra in Harry’s direction and hope for the best. Even better, he could’ve just lured Harry into the Forbidden Forest to the Acromantula and let them eat him. We all know that Aragog would’ve happily let his family eat Harry, and it’s not like a dimwitted 11 yr old is going to be able to escape from that without some serious help (in CoS, Ron and Harry only escaped because of the Ford Anglia)

In book 2, Harry could’ve easily been killed by the fucking basilisk itself. Until Hermione left them a clue, Harry had no idea what the monster was. He could’ve easily been killed by accidentally looking at the basilisk in the mirror or even coming face to face with it while he was in the bathroom, for fucks sake. And then, at the very end, Voldy decided to preach about his plan, and the only reasons Harry didn’t escape were that Ginny was unconscious (he wasn’t strong enough to drag her along) and that Riddle had his wand. Even when the basilisk came out, Riddle didn’t help it kill Harry, only whispering commands. This is the person that framed his uncle for the murder of three muggles, and murdered several others as well, not thinking to just send an Avada Kedavra at this wandless 12 yr old, most likely because it wasn’t grand enough.

In book three, fair enough, there wasn’t much he could do, but at any given time, he could’ve gotten Wormtail to kill Harry in his sleep. Everyone would blame Sirius for it as well, so that kept a cover over anything Voldy did.

In Harry’s fourth year, he could’ve easily gotten Barty Jr to kill Harry more simply, but considering that there was the whole ‘rises again’ bullshit going on, perhaps not. Even then, Harry could’ve been killed at any time during the Tournament, so what would happen then? Voldy’s plans have serious flaws in them, and it makes them significantly worse. Harry could’ve easily been killed by the dragon, merpeople, acromantula, blast-ended skrewts, drowned, or been killed by imperioused Krum.

Furthermore, Harry’s barely scraped past everything the tournament had thrown at him. Fair enough. What if the chivalrous little shit decided to stay back and let Cedric take the cup on his own? Plan failed. Boom. After that, what if Harry had tried to block the Avada Kedavra and died? Double boom. Voldemort clearly hadn’t thought this through at all. Even then, after all that could possibly go wrong, he still doesn’t instantly kill Harry. No, instead he brags about this ‘win’ over Harry and disciplines his death eaters, going as far as to mention them by name, which is literally his ego predicting that Harry isn’t going to tell anyone this stuff even if he does escape (the dumbassery honestly).

Then, after all that, he challenges Harry to a duel. What does this senior citizen (so called dark lord) have to prove by beating some dumb teenager? Obviously, this fails (as if we didn’t see this coming) and Harry goes directly to the number one person that Voldy wouldn’t want him to go to. Dumbledore. Honestly, you’d think that the greatest dark wizard in the world would realise that his enemy would go straight to enemy number two, the wiser one, and report what happened.

Now we’re in fifth year. First things first, Voldemort could’ve easily taken the prophecy instead of sending his dumb servants to do it. If he is as great a dark wizard as he claims, he’s bound to have some sort of way to get into the Ministry and steal the prophecy undetected. Instead, the best plan Voldy could come up with is to manipulate Harry into getting the prophecy for him. This is literally just to show that he’s powerful (quite the opposite effect), when the smart move is to just take it himself. The greatest dark wizard of the century, which every wizard fears, can’t do something that four 15 yr olds and two 14 yr olds can do? Doesn’t sound very powerful to me.

Even then, Harry could’ve died before the end of that school year as well. He could’ve easily died of blood loss (I’m surprised that he didn’t, what with his hand being sliced open practically every evening) or from the pure pain of the Cruciatus (after all, if Hermione had failed to stop Umbitch from cursing him, it could’ve happened). Then, after that, he could’ve died by suicide (angst levels were high that year, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did).

After all of this crap, in book 6, Harry could’ve died from death eaters, poisoning, a cursed necklace, the Imperius curse going wrong, the Inferi in the lake, something from Snape’s textbook, or even just a stray curse.

Really, Voldy could’ve just poisoned Harry (like Malfoy tried to poison Dumbledore). Even the character who seems to have the biggest ego out of them all will resort to something as simple as poison. Voldemort’s ego is too fucking huge to get him to kill Harry without grandness.

Then, in book 7, how many times is Harry almost in danger? How many times is Harry unprotected? Why doesn’t Voldemort use his time, instead of looking for the elder wand, to kill Harry? Sure, we get that he literally cannot kill Harry with his own wand, but why doesn’t he just get Bellatrix or someone else to find and Stun Harry? At some point, they actually capture the trio. At this point, we do have to blame the death eaters as well, since they waited so fucking long to call Voldy up, when they could’ve done it from the start and dealt with him just like that.

Then, in the very last part of the book, the dumbass gives Harry a time frame to submit himself. No smart villain will give the protagonist a time frame, not if they wanted to kill the hero as badly as Voldy did. This is literally setting yourself up for defeat, since you’re giving the hero enough time to devise a strategy to beat you, or to find something to beat you with (as Harry ends up doing). Mr Egotistic Senior Citizen is trying way too hard to paint himself as powerful, when he could show this ‘power’ by actually killing the fucking hero in the time that he has.

Essentially, Voldemort is a dumbass, and a crappy villain whose ego is the main thinking part of his mind. How do I kill the hero as spectacularly as possible? Voldemort has shown himself continuously as the dumbest villain possible, and avoided using his actual brainpower for grandness. Essentially, he’s a crackpot old fool (see what I did there?)

Anyways, that’s it for today, and thank you for wasting your time to read my rant about how I hate Voldemort for being the most egotistical villain possible. Goodbye!

#harry potter #voldemort #Voldemort: a dumbass

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tessatechaitea · 4 years

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Justice League International #9 (1988)

I guess that means Black Canary will have to defeat the Manhunters.

I read The Lord of the Rings trilogy when I was twelve and I'll admit that I thought ��owyn killing the Witch-king was a pretty good twist on the prophecy that he would not be killed by the hand of man. Later, as I got old enough to despise everything in the world because my sense of wonder had been worn down to a nub like a well-used eraser, I realized twelve year old me was a credulous little rat bastard who wouldn't know a good twist if it jumped up out of the lake as a drowned zombie boy and pulled him under just when he thought the film was over and he was safe. Wait a second. I don't want to discuss Éowyn anymore! Maybe I'll get back to it but I've just realized something more important. If Jason had drowned and remained a little boy from 1957 to 1979, how does he become a grown ass adult in the subsequent movies?! I suppose serious Friday the 13th fans believe Alice simply imagined being pulled into the lake, since the police found no trace of a small boy. And the actual Jason didn't drown at all but received such severe brain damage that he decided to live in the woods like Grizzly Adams. Maybe he didn't even remember his mother until she showed up to murder all those counselors and he learned who he was by observing the first movie from the woods. Then we was all, "Man! That woman killed Ma! I'll show her you can't behead my Ma and not get beheaded yourself!" Hmm, that was too easy to solve once I spent any time at all thinking about it. I wonder how many hours I could lose looking up what actual fans of the franchise think? I'll never know though because I dislike fans and fan theories almost as much as I dislike my twelve year old self for being so amazed by the Éowyn twist! Maybe the Éowyn twist is just as good as I thought it was 37 years ago. It's not like I've ever gone back to re-read The Lord of the Rings. I've only read a handful of books more than once in my life and have never re-read a book immediately after reading it until now with Gravity's Rainbow. You can blame Thomas Pynchon on my lack of reading comic books lately because his book was so fucking good and had so much going on that I had to read it again immediately. This issue takes place during the big DC Millennium event so it might be a bit confusing for me. I'll be damned if I'm going to dig through one of the forty comic book boxes lying around just to find Millennium to read before this.

No thanks! I think I'll just muddle through!

Remember when DC had huge events that crossed over into every single comic they put out but were totally boring and inconsequential and didn't have "METAL!" in the title? I'm so glad those days are over and Scott Snyder has made crossover events super fucking hardcore and radical again! *five minutes of mouth guitar noises*

Oh! Is this some of that Éowyn-like prophetic foreshadowing?!

Rocket Red #7 has to be the most lame attempt at having a team member betray the team, especially since he's immediately replaced by Rocket Red #4. "Whoa! What a twist!" I probably thought back at my still tender and rat-bastardly age of sixteen. Rocket Red #7 comes right out and tells everybody that he's a Manhunter. I guess part of the Manhunter philosophy is to first try and recruit man. If unsuccessful, only then do you hunt man. Batman explains to Manhunter Rocket Red #7 how to painfully shove offers like that up excretory orifices. After Black Canary gets on his ass several times for not including her in his exclamations of "gentlemen," Manhunter Rocket Red #7 learns to say, "No man—or woman—can escape the Manhunters!" So I guess no Éowyn twist this time. Hell, I'll probably never learn the twist for how the Manhunters can be defeated because that's the kind of plot point that's going to take place in the actual Millennium issues. And I probably won't re-read those for another few years!

"Suck on this, manhunter!" was my most commonly used phrase in college.

Black Canary is so concerned about gender equality maybe she should be scolding Batman for not hiring any other women. Rocket Red #7 beats the shit out of everybody inside the ship (not Beetle's Bug for some reason probably explained in Millennium #1) and then flies out to stand on top of it and not say he's king of the world because Titanic wasn't the huge breakout romantic hit it would be a decade later. What a great movie! It had everything! Boobs, guns, people dying. Like an Agatha Christie novel but with boobs! Once Rocket Red #7 is outside of the ship, the members of the Justice League with actual, non-screaming-related super-powers take notice of him. That's because they're flying to show off to the others their super powers. The characters I'm talking about are Guy Gardner and Martian Manhunter. Booster Gold is also flying outside the ship but he's just a small town thief with a Legion flight ring and a force field. He doesn't even have a manly bulge in this super tight suit! One thing I learned that maybe I knew once but probably not for long because I don't think it was ever front loaded as part of his characterization is that Rocket Red (like all Rocket Reds) is a techno-empath. That means his suit allows him to control technology by crying or getting angry. If you know for a fact that it means something else, just keep it to yourself, okay? This isn't fucking Wikipedia. It's a stupid joke review blog that, most of the time, forgets to even review the comic book. Nobody knows how to stop Rocket Red #7 from crashing the ship into a Bialian oil refinery because if they try to stop him, he'll blow up the ship and kill everybody inside. Which, you know, will happen anyway if it crashes into the oil refinery. So I don't know why nobody tries to stop him anyway. They just fly ahead to save civilians. Luckily Rocket Reds #1-...I don't know, 53 (minus #7) save the day! I guess they use their Techno-Empathy to shut down Rocket Red #7's eyeballs.

Oh yeah, Rocket Red #7 dies here. I mean, not here, exactly, because nobody stops the Manhunters. He dies a little later after the jump scare out of the pile of debris scene.

Max Lord consults his mysterious robotic sounding friend about the Manhunter threat but the dumb thing doesn't know any more than he does. Lord mentions that the Manhunters have gotten close to all of their potential recruits while looking at a monitor with those recruits. One of them is Halo and Geoforce from The Outsiders! Oh why oh why couldn't Halo have become a member?! Halo was my pre-Sailor Moon role model. I think I've just always wanted to be a hot young woman. Oh yeah. Didn't Doctor Jace turn out to be a Manhunter? The story ends with Maxwell Lord's personal assistant shooting him because she was also a Manhunter. How all these people were Manhunters, I'll never know! I suppose it's like when you've been playing a Dungeons & Dragons campaign for four months and suddenly one of the NPCs turns out to be a polymorphed dragon and you're all, "Holy shit! What a twist! This DM is devious!" But in reality, the DM only thought up the twist thirty minutes before that night's campaign. It's pretty much exactly like that. Every writer at DC must have gotten a memo from editorial that read: "One of your characters needs to be a Manhunter. It doesn't matter which one but it would be a lot more exciting if they were an important part of the team!" And Keith Giffen and J.M. DeMatties read their memo, shrugged, and concluded they were only willing to rid themselves of Max Lord's secretary and the stupid, replaceable Rocket Red. A second short story finishes up this issue. It's about Jack-o-lantern of the now defunct Global Guardians being wooed by Bialian Rumaan Harjavti. He wants a super group of terrorists to threaten the Western world with. I guess they'll become Bialya's version of Qurac's Jihad. If it ever comes together, of course. Jack-o-Lantern would just be using Rumaan's money and support to get a new global team together. Probably. Justice League International #9 Rating: B. Did you know China has a university called the China University of Mining and Technology? That acronym is so close to being disgusting! Some translator should point it out so they can come up with a synonym for "mining" that begins with an "n" so they can sell a ton of school merch to the West.

#Justice League #Justice League International #J.M. DeMatteis #Keith Giffen #Kevin Maguire

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calamity-bean · 5 years

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Aziraphale/Crowley Fic Recs

AKA “There is SO much Good Omens fic nowadays, with more being added at SUCH an incredible rate, that I keep forgetting to bookmark things and thus completely lose track of what I’ve read and what I liked and which ones to watch for updates and which ones I might want to read again and etc etc. So, for the sake of my own sanity, I have made A List.”

And I thought, hey, might as well share.

I’ve divided this list into WIPs and Complete Works, but otherwise, it’s a jumble: canon-verse and AUs, short and long, ranging in rating from G to E and incorporating various tropes and headcanons. I tend to gravitate toward happy endings, so there’s probably nothing too dark or soul-crushing, but as always, buyer beware, pay attention to tags and content warnings and your own personal tastes. Works are listed in chronological order of first publishing, simply as a neutral and objective way to list them, and more will be added intermittently as I read new ones or rediscover ones I forgot.

Hope this helps someone find some good reading and directs more attention to some well-deserving work!

-- WIPs --

On Espionage and Prophecy (or How to Accidentally, but Wholly, Fall in Love With a Soho Bookseller) by RockSaltAndRoll (June 15, 2019)

1941 is the London Blitz and the year that MI5 really comes into its own with the now infamous ‘double cross’ system. The service keep tabs on suspects, root out enemy agents and try to turn them into doubles.

Anthony J Crowley is fucking great at this job. He can be sneaky, underhanded and damn ruthless but also charming and kind. It’s what makes him good at turning.

Aziraphale is just a regular Soho bookseller who loves his shop and books and good food and wine when he’s approached by a woman claiming to be MI5, wanting to recruit him for espionage. The poor man is too trusting and gets the shock of his life when he’s approached by a charming but dangerous-looking man also claiming to be MI5.

Crowley recruits Aziraphale to double cross a double crosser and Aziraphale takes to espionage like a duck to water.

Danger, hijinks, and sex ensue.

Show Me a Great Plan by WriteDreamLie (June 17, 2019)

A.J. Crowley is an eccentric "business man." A.Z. Fell is a bookseller who refuses to sell any books.

After Fell (unwillingly) helps Crowley out of a sticky situation, the two become oddly fixed on each other. And their relationship could just be the thing that saves them both.

icing on the cake by Etheostoma (June 18, 2019)

Between the black attire, swaying hips, slouching pose, and affected “devil-may-care” attitude that actually belied an incredibly sensitive nature, A.J. Crowley was a walking puzzle—and one that Aziraphale, when he allowed his thoughts free rein, wanted desperately to solve.

That being said, at the end of the day Crowley was also technically his employer, and therefore even the thought of anything more was decidedly not a Good Idea.

Vita Nova by AMidnightDreary (June 18, 2019)

“Angel, bloody hell. Hi. You doing okay? Do you have any idea what’s going on?”

It was quiet for a few seconds.

“I’m sorry,” Aziraphale said then, still polite, but a bit perplexed. “Who is this?”

Crowley, upon finding that Aziraphale does not remember him, is very much Not Okay with the changes Adam made after the Apocalypse That Wasn't. He can't do anything but try and make the best out of it, though. (Which is a lot easier than it should be.)

Sparse Clutter by ItsClydeBitches (June 26, 2019)

A fic bingo collection featuring twenty-five, one word prompts. Whole thing is probably best described as "Ineffable husbands stupidity with a hefty dose of gen world building," but I'll chuck brief summaries below as I update!

Strange Pilgrims: Being the Account of a lost Angel, the Journeys of a Demon, the meaning of Free Will, of the Unravelling of a Prophecy, and of Being Unravelled by it in Turn by sousverre (June 26, 2019)

"Aziraphale going missing" would be quite enough drama for Crowley to be getting on with, thanks very much - even without a prophecy that seems to be implying the significance of Feelings, and especially with every gargoyle in London trying to reunite them.

But when he does find the angel, Aziraphale has lost his memory, his wings, and insists that he is happily married to some kind of investment banker.

Right. So the first step is to fix all that, somehow, and then - and then - and then everything can go back to normal, like it was before, which is all Crowley wants.

Right.

How do we fix this?

Put Out The Fire by Aleakim (June 27, 2019)

Aziraphale finds himself in a very awkward position as some sort of spell makes everyone merely glancing in his direction instantly fall deeply and desperately in love with him.

Absolutely everyone.

Well, apart from Crowley, that is.

And while both angel and demon search for a solution to this fairly unique problem, Crowley can’t help wondering whether Aziraphale might finally figure out some things he kept hidden for so very long.

Ink Blots and Forget-Me-Nots by gutsandglitter (July 3, 2019)

Ninth Circle Ink was hardly more than a stone’s throw from the flower shop; Aziraphale knew from past experience that it took less than thirty seconds to go from door to door (forty-five if you had to wait for a car to pass). It had been a perfect arrangement in the beginning, when they were just starting out.

aka the flower shop/tattoo parlor (human) exes AU that nobody asked for!

You Can Have Your Cake by eragon19 (July 4, 2019)

Aziraphale has been working as Anathema's assistant at her wedding planning service for near on a year now. He thinks he's seen it all, from meddling parents to nervous brides, and in one case an ex with a penchant for arson.

What he isn't prepared for is a reluctant groom with a liking for black leather and a smile that has Aziraphale's mind going to places it most certainly shouldn't. Especially since the man is getting married, no matter how awful his fiance is...

To the Stars by StarRose (July 9, 2019)

The happy ending Titanic!Au no one ever writes but everyone always imagines in every possible fandom. Aziraphale is being forcibly sent to America to be forcibly married to Gabriel. Crowley is going to forcibly screw that up.

A Matter of Convenience by ylc (July 15, 2019)

There comes a time when even the most fervent enemies must call a truce and what better way to cement such truce than a marriage? And if the involved parties happen to be the most troublesome members of the ruling families… well, that’s all for the best, isn’t it?

Barriers, and the Breaking Thereof by Cardinal_Daughter (July 16, 2019)

Ezra Fell has long been comfortable in his loneliness. He’s content to simply run the Soho Public Library and otherwise keep to himself. However, when a handsome stranger bursts in one evening with a baby, frantic and in need of help, Ezra finds those carefully constructed barriers he’s long maintained begin to crack.

Perhaps it’s time to let them fall.

Series of one-shots focusing on the lives and developing relationship between Ezra Fell and Anthony J. & Adam Crowley. Human AU.

Lavender, Chamomile, and a Rather Permanent Arrangement by southdownsraph (July 17, 2019)

Crowley owns the flower shop across the street from A. Z. Fell's tattoo shop, and can't help but be intrigued by the slightly eccentric, yet incredibly friendly tattoo artist. When Crowley does finally pluck up the courage to talk to him beyond the occasional pleasantries, he kicks off the beginning of a friendship that could so easily drift into something else entirely.

Pride and Prejudice and Angels by SanSanFanFan (July 20, 2019)

Hampshire, England, 1809

Miss Crowley's plans for a small temptation near the South Coast go awry as she realises that Aziraphale is not only a guest of a neighbouring landed gentlelady but also suffering under some kind of malady.

Match-making! Balls! Fainting! Happily Ever Afters???

Celestial Bodies by LieutenantLiv (August 3, 2019)

The year is 1923. Aziraphale's friends at the gentlemen's club invite him for a weekend away in Devon. He asks Crowley to join. It gets very silly and very messy very quickly.

That's just how things were in the roaring twenties.

Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach by Nnm (August 9, 2019)

As soon as Aubrey Thyme, psychotherapist, had opened her office door and seen her new client, Anthony J. Crowley, sitting in her waiting area, she was observing and assessing him. At first glance, she paid attention to the following:

--His clothing was expensive and stylish; --He wore very strange but noticeable cologne; --His relationship to the seat he occupied could only, very loosely, be described as “sitting;” --He looked angry; --He was wearing sunglasses.

What Aubrey Thyme, a professional, thought, upon first seeing her new client was: you’re going to be a fun one, aren’t you?

-- Complete Works --

Anthophilia by FortinbrasFTW (July 7, 2014)

Anthony J. Crowley's life seems like it's finally falling into place: his floral shop has begun to gain an undercurrent of appreciation in the design elite of London, and he might have even finally found a boyfriend who looks just right lounging on his Tenreiro sofa. Things seem almost perfect, until one day the empty shop across the street is leased to frumpy fellow Oxford alumni, who doesn't seem to remember Crowley nearly as well as he remembers him, which really shouldn't bother him as much as it does - it was ten years ago after all, and it wasn't even that good of a kiss.

The Rose Thief and the Priest by ImprobableDreams900 (January 8, 2018)

When horticulturist A. J. Crowley sees a rare breed of rose in a churchyard, he decides he won't stop until he can get a cutting—even if he has to go through the church's stuffy priest to do so.

Running in the Shadows (Damn Your Love, Damn Your Lies) by soft_october (May 10, 2019)

"In plain terms, Mr. A. Fell was a man of impeccable conduct and unusual habits, and in a similar manner to many of whom bore the first two traits, he must also take up the third: dire loneliness. Yet it had not always been thus. Indeed, there once was a time when it seemed as if he should never know solitude or want of suitable company for the rest of his days, but the circumstances by which Aziraphale might have unwound the knot that now bound up his heart had long since dragged themselves, mortally wounded, to die in the shades of regret. Their ghosts hung in his past, growing in consequence with the singular passing of each year until they eclipsed even the death of those who had the foremost hand in their making, and had the effect of separating the sequence of his days of into a gentle, blooming Before, whose painful beauty made the egregious scars of the After that much more appalling."

What Aziraphale does not know is that, from across the ocean, Mr. Anthony J. Crowley is returning to England with his newly aquired wealth, wanting nothing more than to rebuild his life after a terrible shock and, perhaps, discover why he had been abandoned by his fiancé ten long years ago.

You Might Think I’m Crazy (All I Want is You) by soft_october (March 29, 2019)

'“Look I understand, you’ve got to check up on the new occupants, make sure I’m a proper ‘fit’ for the neighborhood or whatever euphemism you’re going to use this time, 'the greater good,' I saw the film, I get it. But I peeked in at the place next door the agent mentioned and if you aren’t bothering him I really don't think you should be-”

“I’m your neighbor,” Aziraphale interrupted. “I own that place next door?”

“Oh.”'

Since the next shop over closed down, Aziraphale's had a peaceful few months, barring those unpleasant interactions with the men in cheap suits who keep trying to persuade him to sell his shop. But now a (handsome) new owner has taken up residence beside him and, horror of horrors, he wants to open up a coffee shop.

A Home at the Beginning of the World by stereobone (June 6, 2019)

"Oh," Aziraphale says. "I think Crowley might have moved in with me."

creatures of circumstance by attheborder (June 10, 2019)

Anthony J. Crowley, Jr. is the prodigal son of CrowleyCorp, the UK’s most powerful, dangerous, and controversial technology company.

A one-night stand with a mysterious man who calls himself Aziraphale tips his hopeless life upside-down into a dangerous obsession.

And somewhere else entirely, a girl-shaped creature is presiding over the back room of a bookshop in Soho, where an angel and a demon lay unconscious on the floor…

Bending Space and Time by Draco_sollicitus (June 11, 2019)

Crowley could never have envisioned a miracle quite like making an angel smile.

And when that angel is Aziraphale, well, he'll do whatever he can to experience that miracle again, and again, and again.

(Crowley spends the twentieth century bringing books to Aziraphale in an effort to make his angel smile a little more)

the words of the prophet are written on the subway walls by volantium (June 11, 2019)

Aziraphale and Crowley do the twenty-first century. (Or, Aziraphale and Crowley, dorks in love, post-Apocalypse).

a picnic plan for you and me by theapplepielifestyle (June 12, 2019)

“It’s angel food cake,” he said. He waited. When Aziraphale did nothing but nod politely: “It’s funny, see, ‘cause-”

“No, no, I get it.” Aziraphale nodded again. “Very funny.”

“Oh, shut up, it is-”

“May I ask what brought this on?”

Crowley paused. “Can’t a guy just want to try baking?”

(Or, Crowley makes Aziraphale food after the world doesn't end. It has absolutely nothing to do with how much he wants to make Aziraphale smile.)

with urgency but not with haste by Sanwall (June 13, 2019)

Aziraphale moves to the South Downs and gets bees, and Crowley gets into one of his moods.

The Play’s The Thing by volunteerfd (June 16, 2019)

“Who was at the very first rehearsal, hmm? Who read over Shakespeare’s shoulder as he put ink to parchment? If anything, I know Hamlet just as intimately as I know you.” Aziraphale picked up his teacup again and looked at Crowley over the rim of it. “Maybe even more.”

Crowley was tempted to ask if he’d fucked Hamlet.

****

Aziraphale is cast as the lead in a community theatre production of Hamlet, a lifelong dream of his and a lifelong night terror of Crowley's. But, as the hapless Crowley helps him run lines, it becomes a mystery why anyone would let Aziraphale on stage. Tears are shed, skulls are crushed, monologues are butchered, and through it all, Crowley remains supportive. After all, the show must go on--even if it is the fifty billionth production of stupid, overrated Hamlet.

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy by 13thDoctor, JHarkness (June 17, 2019)

5 times Aziraphale and Crowley were mistaken for a couple, and the 1 time they weren’t.

A Regular Rip van Winkle by aurilly (June 20, 2019)

After almost an entire century spent asleep, Crowley wakes in 1888 to find the world more changed than he thought possible. His first order of business is to find his angel.

Also concerning the origin of the Baroque gavotte (spoilers: Aziraphale was feeling thirsty).

A bookshop is not a business by anactoriatalksback (June 22, 2019)

In which Aziraphale has no intention of selling books to anyone at all, let alone this infuriatingly persistent customer. No matter how nice his cheekbones are...

like a prayer for which no words exist by lipsstainedbloodred (June 23, 2019)

“What do you want, angel?” Crowley asks before Aziraphale is even properly in the room.

“Hullo my dear,” Aziraphale sounds cheery but also awfully worried, “I hadn’t seen you since - well, since-” Since they’d swapped bodies back; since Crowley had turned tail and ran from St. James’s Park like the Devil himself had been on his heels.

(in which Crowley and Aziraphale do not dine at the Ritz after that nasty business with Heaven and Hell, and Crowley has an existential crisis instead)

far too much in love to see by imperiousheiress (June 25, 2019)

“Hello, can I help you with anything in particular?” Aziraphale asks. And then, he freezes.

Inexplicably, impossibly, it’s the same man who had entered the shop the last time they’d been open. He’s sure of it. The man who he’d felt a rather insistent urge to garrote.

(Or, one of Aziraphale’s regular customers takes a little too much interest in Crowley, and Aziraphale feels somewhat unfamiliarly unpleasant about all of it.)

The Holiest by merle_p (June 26, 2019)

So when Aziraphale hears, through the grapevine, that an exorcism is supposed to happen on New Year’s Eve in Major Gruber’s flat, he knows that despite his general distaste for exorcisms, this is where he is going to be, on the slim chance that the demon Major Gruber and his spiritist friends have found is the same one Aziraphale appears to have lost.

Hope Is The Thing With Feathers by Gefionne (June 26, 2019)

Because they can’t see each other more than once every few decades, Aziraphale suggests that he and Crowley write to each other to pass the time apart. As quills for their letters, they exchange wing feathers: a gesture of great intimacy that Crowley is convinced only he perceives the depth of. But time will tell that it’s not just him who sees it that way.

Night and Day by Gigi_Sinclair (June 27, 2019)

Five times Aziraphale and Crowley encountered queer historical figures who know more about them than they do, and one time they actually have a clue.

Needed a break, gone to France x by sleepymccoy (June 28, 2019)

A week or so after the nopocalypse Aziraphale takes a holiday that, unfortunately, sends Crowley into a bit of a tailspin about where they're at

In Holy Matrimony by Myracuulous (June 29, 2019)

From the private journal of Alisha Jones, wedding planner, concerning the nuptials of Anthony J Crowley and Aziraphale and the planning process thereof, containing an account of chosen decor, guest list construction, and the holy war against the Antichrist that nearly ruined six months of professional organization and a very nice dinner.

Acts of Service by seekwill (July 2, 2019)

After receiving direct instruction from God, village reverend Aziraphale leaves his countryside congregation to serve the underserved and in-need at an urban church in London, a transition made all the more complicated by the mysterious and handsome Crowley, who always seems to appear when Aziraphale least expects him.

greatest hits by attheborder (July 2, 2019)

“But my dear, I just can’t believe you never told me that you had joined a musical group. I would have come out to support you— at your gigs!”

“First of all, never say ‘gigs’ again. Second of all, not my fault you never noticed when I showed up to dinner with a great big guitar case slung over my shoulder.”

(Aziraphale accidentally discovers Crowley’s secret: he was in a band in the 90s. And he wrote a whole album of love songs…)

Nanny Knows Best by DictionaryWrites (July 5, 2019)

Being a nanny, that should be simple. Simple. Easy as pie.

Crowley wished that were true.

human childcare for the occult (and ethereal) by suzukiblu (July 10, 2019)

The Dowlings miraculously need a nanny and a gardener at the same time, and Aziraphale suggests they flip for it. Crowley takes one moment to picture Aziraphale nannying anyone and calls dibs. It’s not that Aziraphale’s terrible with humans, he’s just, well. Terrible with humans. Truly, truly terrible.

He doesn’t want to deal with Aziraphale getting metaphorically guillotined or kicking up security’s paranoia, basically. A gardener can be a little odd, and no one will notice or care. Except Warlock, perhaps, as the only other person with any real reason to spend much time out on the lawn, but Warlock’s the one they want noticing so that’ll be fine, Crowley’s sure.

Even if it does make him cringe a little, leaving Aziraphale in charge of the plants.

keep me close by Iselmyr (July 17, 2019)

Aziraphale was expecting to see a talented but otherwise ordinary performance of Les Misérables with a genderswapped cast. Aziraphale was not expecting who came onstage.

Crowley was expecting an ordinary second night show, because Aziraphale always goes to opening nights, and Crowley never performs on them.

Except, this once, Aziraphale missed the opening, and came to the second night. Everything else snowballed from there.

lit in the darkness by ToEdenandBackAgain (July 17, 2019)

Aziraphale returns to Crowley's flat for the night after Armageddon. After all, it's hardly the first time they've shared sleeping arrangements. Or: Times throughout history Crowley and Aziraphale have shared a bed.

Reflect What You Are by Owenjones (July 17, 2019)

It's a year after the almost-apocalypse. Aziraphale makes Crowley go see a therapist.

“Have you been having any issues in particular?”

“Issues? Such as?”

“You tell me.” She could tell he had something on the tip of his tongue.

Crowley sat for a second, then blurted out, “He thinks I’ve been sleeping too much. He’s worried.”

An Answer to Prayer by Jupiter_Ash (July 20, 2019)

Prayers can be answered in a multitude of different ways. When it came to a certain cottage in the South Downs though, no one had expected it to be answered by the squealing wheels of a classic Bentley and Queen's Princes of the Universe.

All Karen wanted to do was sell a house.

The Ineffable Temptations of Oysters by gimpy_terry (July 20, 2019)

Wherein Aziraphale sometimes invites Crowley to dine on oysters with him and Crowley definitely takes him up on that offer.

did you open up your heart there? by weatheredlaw (July 21, 2019)

or were you quiet and afraid? — Aziraphale and Crowley meet over and over and over again. Aziraphale doesn't know what Crowley is, or why their souls can't seem to be parted, but he is a creature of love, and he's not going to argue with that.

A Machine for Living In by pineapplesquid (August 6, 2019)

All Crowley wants is to see the inside of the bookshop so that he can get this design for the building next door done so the clients will be happy and his bosses will stop yelling. What A.Z. Fell wants, apparently, is for Crowley and the project that’s he’s working on to disappear. Permanently.

One of these might be more attainable than the other.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #fic recs #op #also PLEASE let me know if any of the titles link to the wrong fics #i was doing a lot of rapid copying & pasting #and also if you have any others to rec... feel free to add or let me know!

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danwhobrowses · 4 years

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10 Things that would’ve Improved the Game of Thrones Final Season (For Me)

So it came to my attention that recently it was the First Anniversary of the Final Episode of HBO’s ‘Game of Thrones’. I was taken back to my memory of the BinGOT thing we had at work where we all made predictions of who lived, died and ‘won’ from the last ep (I was in 2nd or 3rd place). And since my mother has started binging it during quarantine I thought in the spirit of that environment I’d discuss a little what I would’ve changed in the final season.

Spoilers for Game of Thrones Season 8 Below, if you haven’t watched it then you’re better off not reading this frankly, if you haven’t been spoiled already at least.

So for starters, the final episode is not the worst tv I’ve ever seen, it just was a sloppy final season in general that really didn’t satisfy the 2 years of hype waiting for it, it’s like with the How I Met Your Mother finale, but that annoyance being more than one episode. But without further ado here are 10 things I would’ve changed about the final season Note: Most will involve the finale. The first 2 episodes were great.

10 - Ten Episodes The Long Night was 1 episode, the LONG NIGHT. A Culmination of the army of living and dead confined into one episode. One of the main problems with the final season was that the pacing was a bit rushed, it made character progression seem unnatural and dropped long-built plot points like water through a sieve. With 10 episodes, which was not a big ask given that this was the usual number and the gravitas of it being the final season would easily allow it to be green lit. D&D immediately backed themselves into a corner by giving a limit they weren’t used to and too much content to put in.

9 - Bite of the Spider Varys’ death was an upsetting start of the penultimate episode, while I would’ve loved him to have survived start to end and potentially ended on top (because he’s never shown to be as cunning or dangerous as he is in the books) there was some sense in him dying. However, Varys was shown sending a letter before his arrest and that never came back up, the finale could’ve used this by revealing to the public Jon’s true heritage, which would’ve immediately undermined Dany’s claim and set up a better conflict. Also we never knew what the voice in the flames said to him...

8 - A More Fitting Long Night While everyone probably popped hard for Arya killing the Night King, myself included, the nature of it was rather abrupt. I don’t think anyone can buy that she sneaked past that entire army. I do feel like the Night King was just a MacGuffin for the Long Night, given that he did so little in the actual fight. This is where a multi-part Long Night would’ve been key as well, going from the Night King being immune to Dragonfire to dying a bit later was not a good pace, and we lacked any conflict with Jon like we teased twice, Arya probably wasn’t the most poetic person to kill him either but GoT seldom did poetic deaths (Joffrey, Cersei, Euron). While the Long Night had exemplary deaths like Theon, Lyanna, Jorah and Beric, the Night King fell among the ranks of Melisandre and Edd in terms of meh deaths. The Long Night should’ve been a bigger bloodbath than it was, half the Dothraki somehow survived remember, we didn’t get to see Ghost fight at all either, no giant spiders, a lot of the tension was lost with the way some fight scenes were filmed; it was too easy to read between the lines and not enough characters had any true ‘oh god this person could die’ scenes.

7 - Resolution for the Characters we didn’t See and Plots unresolved With so much funding and finality in the show, there felt like there could’ve been more stuff that could’ve been resolved; what was the Quaith’s prophecy about? What really happened with the Doom of Valyria? Why does Dragonglass and Valyrian steel kill White Walkers? What is Daario doing after Dany died? Were the Faceless Men really that okay with letting Arya wander around knowing their skillset? Nobody hired them to help in the war either. What happened to the remnants of that warlock dude who stole the baby dragons, they sent one scorpion and that’s it, what happens with the Little Birds now that they’re leaderless? Who was Azor Ahai? What were the spirals about? There are a lot of questions the show kinda just, ignored.

6 - The Mad Queen So, Dany going from ‘I’ll stop if they surrender’ to ‘Burn them fucking all’ was abrupt for many, the majority of fans were not ready or willing to accept turning on their Kaleesi in just one episode. While I could see the conclusion coming from being jumped, losing another ‘child’ and her closest friend as well as her new boyfriend being her nephew and a legitimate threat to her legitimacy despite already pledging fealty, Dany’s descent could’ve used more time, and less naivety. While the death of the dragon was a huge shock, the idiocy fell on Dany in thinking that Cersei would play fair and wouldn’t try to occupy Dragonstone while she abandoned it. There also fell inconsistency when the same fleet and rows of Scorpion crossbows suddenly got Stormtrooper aim during ‘The Bells’. Euron is a renowned sailor, he ruined a Dornish fleet in a previous season, he may be an annoying bastard but you have to treat his naval tactics with a bit more respect - and make Dany less stupid with Cersei doing Cersei things. A lot of people definitely needed more time in buying the idea that Dany had lost her cool and that she blamed all of Westeros to justify burning everyone unashamedly.

5 - Proper Redemption We all know who we’re talking about. Jaime, Jaime, Jaime. In the end he just proved Olenna’s point didn’t he? And his turn away from redemption was only to serve as an example point for Tyrion to use to convince Jon to kill Dany. Jaime didn’t have to live, but he didn’t have to die rushing to Cersei’s rescue, or even due to Euron stabbing him. If anything Jaime should’ve died with some Honour, to be the inverse of Ned as he was presented in Season 1.

4 - My Lady does not have to mean M’Lady This is probably the most selfish ones of my 10 but as a shipper at my very heart and soul I wanted one, at least one, ship to survive this entire turmoil and Gendry and Arya were that couple. We almost had it as well, but then for some mad reason D&D decided that Gendry, despite literally saying that “none of it will be worthwhile if you’re not with me”, stayed in Storm’s End. Arya’s character endgame was right in her venturing off not being bound by the fact that she’s a noble, but Gendry spent a lot of time not caring that he was of Kingsblood to basically being his Father’s son. He’ll rule Storm’s End, marry some woman to have kids, but he’ll still have fallen into the same pit as King Robert did. It would’ve been much more satisfying and hopeful if Gendry abandoned the titles and land he never wanted or needed to accompany someone he loves and who loves him back on an adventure into the unknown. She’s not a ‘lady’ if she’s only marrying a blacksmith and love is the death of duty.

3 - Sansa is NOT Smart (and gets what she actually deserves) Right. So I really, really didn’t like Sansa. Like, I get it, she got held hostage by the Lannisters, watched her father get beheaded, got accused of murder, learned that her brother and mother died, watched the guy who fancied her mother and kissed her kill her aunt and then got effectively sold to an abuser in an arranged marriage. But Sansa is not the smartest player in the game, it was annoying that they tried to portray her as one, she had one idea that anyone could’ve told you ‘don’t be stupid against Ramsay Bolton’. She spent all of Season 8 mainly giving side eye like a petty bitch, completely trying to undermine Dany despite the two being very very similar (remember Dany was raped, sold off in an arranged marriage and watched family members get killed too) to the point where she was conspiring for Jon to usurp her. And in reality she took her ball and left, she was so pissy that the leaders didn’t pick her to be Queen of Westeros that she literally pointed out her own brother’s infertility, claimed that the North wouldn’t bow to a monarch, then declared herself Queen. Hide the ‘Yas Queen’ goggles for a sec, this wasn’t empowering she was throwing her own brother under the bus because she wanted to be queen, and she learned far too much from Littlefinger and Cersei’s playbook to actually be a just one. The North is allowed to be an independent nation, but Sansa’s ‘victory’ was more earned by virtue of a lot of shit happened to her than her actually demonstrating qualities to be queen.

2 - Bran Stark can’t come to the Phone right now... While we’re on the subject of Stark children not being fit rulers, Bran. What a cockamamie decision that was. I was 100% behind the destruction of the Iron Throne, but the chorus of laughter with a democratic rule was a bit of a slap in the face. Of all the choices though, Bran had to be near the bottom, it felt completely unearned that he spent literal seasons disconnecting from the world even to the point where he told Meera and Sam that Bran Stark is no longer here anymore only for Bran Stark to magically resurface when a crown is in waiting. I think it defeats the whole Three Eyed Raven thing too, the guy isn’t really one for the people, which is the problem every other ruler before him failed at. If you can’t pick a just person to lead, then why not a council instead? Just using Bran was a poor and messy decision.

1 - THE MOTHERFUCKING VALONQUAR One of the few expectations across all of Game of Thrones was the wondering over whether Cersei was gonna get what’s coming to her, the Maggy the Frog prophecy was going along quite well up until the Valonquar bit, where the younger sibling that was going to choke the life out of her was: bricks. BRICKS! Of all the long-winded prophecy foreshadowings to drop this one was the worst, Cersei (and Jaime) died in underwhelming, thoughtless fashion, the lack of fanfare on killing off one of the best and most ‘love to hate’ villains in the show only cemented the fact that the finale was not able to live up to the hype. True, most of these are small changes, but it’s worth remembering that there was some good coming out of the final season and it was the lack of those little things and attention to detail that led to the season ending on an underwhelming note.

We did however get a good ton of memes out of it, and at work a long-winded discussion on who should get the ‘winner’ 5-points (compared to the 1 correct points) since we had technically agreed that the 5 points goes to “whoever correctly guesses who sits on the Iron Throne” XD I still can’t believe I was right in Drogon melting the throne though that was one in a million

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ihavethoughtsplural · 4 years

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Blood and Chocolate: An Adaptation in Name Only

Section 0 - Introduction

Preamble: In 2007, a supernatural romance thriller based on a young adult novel was released to theaters. It was a Romeo and Juliet inspired story revolving around the forbidden love between a human and a misunderstood monster and the dangers they face.

No, it wasn’t Twilight. That came out in 2008. It was Blood and Chocolate.

Despite the apparent similarities between the two films, the differences are more interesting. Twilight, adapted from an incredibly popular book went on to become a huge box office success and inescapable cultural phenomenon.

Blood and Chocolate did not. It was a critical and commercial failure, and even fans of the book hated it. In fact, though it has been mostly forgotten in the wake of Twilight and its imitators, its one major legacy is as a legendarily bad adaptation. But why? Is that fair? Does the movie still have merits despite this? In the following series of posts, I am going to be exploring these questions.

Bona Fides: You might be wondering why I feel like I can speak with any sort of authority on this subject. Well, I have a history with this book and movie. I first read the book in late middle school and was immediately obsessed. And, yes, I mean obsessed; I have had an unhealthy fascination with this novel since I picked it up from my local library. Years later, I now own two copies of the book, one of which has been read to shreds.

Additionally, I have been writing fanfiction for the Blood and Chocolate fandom for over 10 years now at an embarrassingly slow pace. (Seriously, my current WIP, Lucky, has been unfinished for waaaaay too long, and I desperately need to get off my ass and upload the next chapter already). As a result, I basically know the text backward and forward. I know Vivian’s zodiac sign, I can make convincing arguments about the “real” locations of Riverview and Gaskill State Park, and I will defend my many headcanons to anyone who wants to hear them (Spoiler alert: Nobody wants to hear them. The fandom is dying, if not dead). When the adaptation was announced, I remember scouring news articles and forums for all the information I could find. I speculated with other fans about casting choices and the adaptation changes. I wasn’t naïve on that last point – making the book into a movie would absolutely necessitate some major story and character changes. But I had faith. And then more details came out. We found out about the location change, the new plot, the casting choices.

(Olivier Martinez playing a 24-year-old welder? Yeah. Sure.)

But I had hope! And then the trailer came out. In a way, it was a good thing. For one, it introduced me to Within Temptation, still one of my favorite bands of all time. For another, it allowed me to mourn the adaptation that I had hoped for, and prepared me for the movie we were going to get. There’s a prophecy now? Glowy transformations? Tradition dictates swapping out wives every 7 years? And then the title “Blood and Chocolate” plopped onto the screen like a warm turd. I’m not stupid – I know that the title is a hard sell. I know that it looks ridiculous at first glance, and Annette Curtis Klause spends almost the entire novel justifying that title choice. The trailer? Doesn’t even try. So, I was ready. I was aware going in that the movie was not going to be like the book in more than a superficial sense. Still, I had to see it. I took a friend with me to the theater, knowing that I would need moral support to get through it. And then it started. And as it dragged on, I sank deeper and deeper into my seat, embarrassed that this, THIS was the movie I was watching. I had spent money to be in that theater. I would have to be seen leaving it. People would know that I had been there. Despite the mortifying ordeal of having watched Blood and Chocolate, I recognized that there were enjoyable parts. I even went on to buy the DVD – it sits on a shelf with its sister camp-fests The Room, Showgirls, Valley of the Dolls and, now, Cats.

Precipitating Event: Last week, I rewatched the adaptation for the first time in several years and came to a realization: I have mellowed since 2007. The healing effects of time have allowed me to genuinely appreciate parts of the movie that used to piss me off to no end. In fact, with this distance from the embarrassment of that theater showing, I might be able to fairly critique it. And really, if I don’t do it, who will? Nobody, aside from Hugh Dancy stans, seem to care about this movie. Well, Hugh Dancy stans and me.

(He’s adorable! Please don’t come for me!)

Goals: My aims for this project are as follows: I wish to express my thoughts about the original book, the real adaptation challenges, and the adaptation itself. For who? I don’t know. As time passes, it feels like the fandom is moving on, and I’m the one stubborn asshole squatting in the ruins. So, come along if you’re interested in me shouting at clouds. This is: Blood and Chocolate – An Adaptation in Name Only

Next: Section 1 - The Book

#blood and chocolate #annette curtis klause #werewolves #loups garous #adaptation #katja von garnier #agnes bruckner #hugh dancy #olivier martinez #B&C - AAINO

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mybookstorecarlovinghusbands · 5 years

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Oh, the Irony (Crowley x Female!Reader)

Summary: Y/n is a hunter from America who comes to London to ask the demon, Crowley for help.

Fandom: Good Omens, Supernatural, slight Doctor Who

Warnings: Fluff, minor swearing

((REQUESTS OPEN!))

~~~~~~~~~

LONDON, TEN YEARS BEFORE THE END OF THE WORLD

After the Antichrist had been placed and the angel, Aziraphale, and the demon, Crowley, had decided to both watch over Warlock, the two celestials often found themselves in each other’s company more and more than the past 6000 years put together. It was during this time when Crowley found himself parked outside of Aziraphale’s bookshop for one of his annual visits. As he waltzed inside as if he owned the place, the angel was already on him with a desperate look in his eye.

“I think there’s an American hunter in the back room of my shop.”

Crowley’s steps stutter only momentarily before he eyes Aziraphale through his glasses with a snarl, “Are you sure?”

“Positive. She came in asking about an ancient book on spells that I couldn’t help but notice had everything to do with demon hunting,” when Crowley’s eyes passed on a brief look of betrayal behind his shades, Aziraphale nearly huffed, “Don’t give me that look! Why wouldn’t I have a book like that?”

“Fair point,” Crowley muttered, though he wouldn’t be letting that go anytime soon, “And she’s still here?”

“Of course she is. She suspects something now,” Aziraphale sighed in defeat while staring at the rug beneath his feet, “I’ve been told by the British Men of Letters that the American hunters are worse than ours. They’re relentless, stubborn, unorganized, and cannot be controlled.”

“Sounds like my kind of people if you ask me. And since when were you pen pals with the British Men of Letters?” Crowley nearly snarled at the idea of those controlling bastards, having not crossed one since 1973. Long story short, but they interrogated him after the death of some author named J.R.R. Tolkien or whatever. They didn’t exactly find it a coincidence that the author who had written a prophecy using the words ‘Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky, Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone, Nine for Mortal Men, doomed to die, One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne’ just happened to die in the year of the reversed order of that prophecy, 1-9-7-3. It was obviously Crowley’s fault, as he had a thing for irony. Aziraphale still hasn’t forgiven him for that one.

“I have someone on the inside,” the angel admits as they start walking to the back of the store again, “She’s this way.”

Crowley didn’t even need Aziraphale’s instruction to know his way around the bookshop as he found himself walking ahead of the angel, crossing a corner and stopping short of the room at the sight of a young woman lounging unproperly over Aziraphale’s fainting couch, her legs crossed over each other as they rest on the armrest, putting her full weight on her elbow as she sits up to take a sip of tea from the small teacup that belonged undoubtedly to Aziraphale.

Crowley cautiously walked into the room, his friend now right behind him as the angel squawked at the appearance of the woman, giving the demon all he needed to know that this was not how Aziraphale left her.

She must have been tied up at one point unless Aziraphale had a current obsession for rope as a spool of it lied over a small chair in the corner of the room. With the woman now free and currently using the angel’s precious teacups, she sighs as if she had expected them and sat up properly this time, looking straight into their eyes.

“I believe it was Fyodor Dostoevsky who said, ‘I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea.’“

Crowley was intrigued, to say the least after he realized he couldn’t take any more steps towards the female hunter. Once he discovered that his feet couldn’t move, Crowley followed the woman’s proud eyes and looked up at the ceiling to see a Devil’s Trap written onto the wooden boards with fresh, white paint dripping from the thicker parts of the lines. Aziraphale sees the trap at the same time Crowley does, and the angel is appalled and shocked, “How did you-?”

“You’re a fast one,” Crowley comments as he looks back down at the woman with a small smirk.

“Don’t flatter yourself. Normally, I’d say you Brits are so slow with all your scheming and small-talk that I was able to set a trap for you and make a cup of tea for myself while I wait, but seeing as you two are technically not Brits, I guess I’ll save my breath,” the woman smiles while setting down her cup in its respectful saucer.

“I thought Americans like coffee?”

“Not this one. This girl likes her tea and a fair share of demon-killing.”

“Well, lucky for me, my friend here isn’t a demon,” Crowley’s grin just widens, looking at Aziraphale to expectedly step out of the trap and attack the intruder.

“Lucky for me, your friend here can’t hurt a fly,” the woman quips back, “And even if he could,” Aziraphale’s face drains when the woman’s jacket sleeve suddenly moves and lands a long, silver blade into her awaiting hand, and even Crowley’s eyes had widened under his glasses at the sight of it.

“An Angel Blade,” Crowley muttered underneath his breath.

“How did you find such an artifact?” Aziraphale squeaked in utter fear, his eyes never leaving the weapon.

“When’s the last time the two of you took a vacation to America? We have plenty of these bad boys in our possession now. Hell, I know a guy who even has a grenade launcher!”

“Darling, I’m pretty sure you’re not here to brag about your collection of weapons back home in the Land of the Shithole, so if you’re gonna kill me then do it already,” Crowley hissed.

“Actually, Crowley,” his eyebrows shoot up at his name, the woman now standing up and setting her teacup aside, “I’m not here to kill you. I’m here because I need information from you. Normally, I’d ask for help, but seeing as that’s not your division as a demon, I knew I had to set up a trap in order to make sure you don’t go doing anything stupid behind my back.”

“Fast and smart,” Crowley kept finding himself smiling and shoves his hands into his pockets, lazily leaning back and looking at Aziraphale, “She’s good.”

“What exactly do you want?” Aziraphale stutters, side-eyeing a glare at his friend beside him.

“I want a favor. One that doesn’t involve me signing anything or giving up my soul anytime soon,” the woman’s face turns grim, eyes darkening as she appears hesitant. Crowley discovers that he does not like that look on her at all as she begins to explain, “I have some... friends back at home. They’re in trouble and this is the only way I know how to help them. Sam and Dean Winchester, you may have heard of them?”

“Briefly,” Aziraphale answered.

“Unfortunately,” Crowley muttered.

The woman glares at the demon before continuing, “Well, they’re trying to find a weapon. Something you might be able to help me find. The sword of the Archangel Michael. If we find the sword, maybe things go back to the way it was. My friends won’t be on every demon, angel, and monster radar there is out there and maybe I won’t have to live in constant fear that they might be killed.”

“Then why not ask for this angel’s help?” Crowley nudges Aziraphale, “Ask him to go and snatch it off of Michael’s desk why don’t you.”

“I couldn’t even if I wanted to,” Aziraphale snapped back, “Because that sword is missing. The angels don’t have it.”

“That’s why you are going to help me find it,” the woman chirps happily, “Unless you want me to start speaking Latin and you can say goodbye to that Doctor Who body of yours.”

Crowley rolled his eyes underneath his glasses. If only he had a nickel for everytime he heard that one.

“Alright, love,” Aziraphale’s head whips around at the demon in protest as he watched Crowley bring a hand out towards the woman, “We are in agreement. I help you find your shiny stick and you won’t discorporate me,” the woman smiles and reaches for his hand. When she grabs it and they shake on it, Crowley grins and only pulls her closer while quickly hissing out, “And in exchange, you help my friend and I stop Armaggedon.”

The woman snaps her hand away, gasping as if she had been shocked and Crowley only laughs maniacally, “Now do you have a name or am I supposed to call you ‘sweetheart’ for the remainder of this partnership?”

And that’s how Crowley first met you a decade before Armaggedon.

~~~~~~~~~

LONDON, THREE YEARS BEFORE THE END OF THE WORLD

The first maybe two years of Y/n and Crowley’s partnership was rough, to say the least. Neither trusted the other, and both were very secretive as to what new information they might have found out about the other’s interests. Of course, it didn’t take long for them to find Michael’s sword and help Y/n’s friends in America, but she had made a deal, and so not long after that, she left America again to help Crowley out with his little problem. Sam and Dean worried for her, but after some time Y/n had, dare she say it, learned to trust the demon over the next few years and so she would always tell the Winchester brothers not to worry over their shared phone calls.

Y/n had actually grown accustomed to living in a flat in London, with a steady job and a network of British hunters working in her favor. Living just down the street from Aziraphale’s bookshop, Y/n found herself spending her time there more times than not. At first, the angel was weary of the female hunter, but over time they actually grew to like one another and enjoyed their tea time every Wednesday, which only drove Crowley and Y/n to hang out more and eventually they became friends. In fact, over time --and I know I’m saying that a lot-- they became more than friends and soon enough Y/n found herself fully moved into Crowley’s apartment. If only Sam and Dean could see her now.

Their relationship took a turn, to say the least. Their first quarrel was over the death of J.R.R. Tolkien. After they exchanged stories about the British Men of Letters, Crowley just so happened to mention the author’s death and Y/n became furious because as it just so happens, Tolkien was her favorite author. Aziraphale bore witness to the couple’s first ever argument, and it was entertaining for the most part as the angel describe the fight to resemble an old married couple. When the fight left Crowley on the couch that night, --and don’t ask why a mere human was able to ban a demon from his own bed. Crowley could still see the scratch marks of the Devil’s Trap just above the bedroom door along with the marks of a salt line scattered all around the bed-- the demon had asked Aziraphale for help in making it up to Y/n. The next day, Y/n was given the first edition, signed copy of the Hobbit.

“All I’m saying is that I haven’t had a real burger in what feels like an eternity,” she argued one evening to her demon boyfriend while they sat on the couch, “If someone, let’s say someone with wings, was nice enough to miracle one up for me, then I would be forever grateful to him.”

“How about you shut up for one bloody moment and stop trying to waste my precious magic on petty American food,” Crowley snapped back while pretending to read. As if he looked like someone who would, and she knew it.

“Says the man who miracled up his glasses yesterday after leaving them at home,” Y/n eyed him knowingly.

“You know I can’t be seen in public without them!”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure you can miracle normal humans into seeing you with human eyes if you wanted to without breaking a sweat, so I call bullshit,” she huffs while crossing her arms.

Crowley even flashed said eyes at her while growling, “Believe what you want, I need to hide a few things about myself so I blend in around here. In case you forgot that I’m a creature that you’ve hunted for more of your supernatural life.”

Y/n’s eyes soften and her shoulders even sink down as she sighs in defeat, “Okay, sorry. Sometimes I forget.”

Crowley narrows his eyes at her, but his eyebrows betray him as they shoot up in surprise. Has he literally done so well at acting human that he’s even fooled his girlfriend, a woman who hunts monsters using spells and guns? Did she honestly forget he had wings and snake eyes? Did he actually succeed in being human that he’s fooled everyone including those closest to him?

“Am I seriously that normal to you that you forgot about what I am?” He voices such thoughts, his tone soft and unsure.

She smiles back, aware of his insecurities while leaning forward to touch the tattoo on the side of his head, “Did you forget what I do for a living? Even the craziest things in the world have become a normal for me. I’m used to all of it. You’re human enough for me, you know.”

She didn’t have to say another word as Crowley suddenly reaches for her, causing her to laugh as he pulls her into his lap and starts devouring her face with kisses. Her laughs are silence when his lips finally reach hers and they stay like that, kissing and holding onto one another for so long, Crowley was sure that when they’d part, it would already be the end of the world. And maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

“Alright, love,” Crowley mutters into her lips, “I’ll get you that burger.��

~~~~~~~~~

(Part 2)

#good omens #crowley x reader #crowley imagine #good omens imagine #supernatural imagine #imagine #aziraphale #aziraphale x crowley #ineffable husbands

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couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name · 5 years

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About your YouTuber! Percy hc, do you think he would actually know everyone subscribed to him because of the weird background shenanigans or do you think that he’s think they all just find him funny?

okay, I actually have made some more Executive Decisions since I posted that, so let’s just make it clear that:

Percy spent maybe half a day thinking ‘wow I knew I was valid in thinking my girlfriend and sister deserve to be famous’ just because he genuinely hadn’t registered the monster-sized dog or nico crawling out from the shadows behind him as ‘weird’ at first, but then he started reading the comments and was like…..ah,

Annabeth wanted him to immediately delete the videos but he was just like ‘nah it’s too late now we might as well commit’ and started planning his next video lmao. he still didn’t think it was gonna get like, Big tho

demigods and technology don’t mix this is true but by this time the Hephaestus and Athena AND Vulcan kids were all very disgruntled by this and collabed on making a line of products that are monster proof, halfblood suitable, and Hephaestus approved. Percy is using a camera in this line, and that’s why mortals watching his videos aren’t getting blocked by the mist, because….shut up, I said so lol

so again, his videos are mostly tame except for just a few small ‘wtf’ things happening in the background, but it’s enough to get people circulating his videos like ‘hey what the fuck is going on with this guy’ and he gets more and more followers impatiently waiting for updates

after about five months, and article gets posted on buzzfeed about the videos, listing a few theories like, a) it’s photoshopped and cgi-d, although they claim they sent a few clips to video analysists that can’t find any thing fake, and b) this boy is being terrorized by ghosts and demons and he just hasn’t noticed them on camera for some fucking reason, and c) Maybe Us, The Viewers Are The Crazy Ones and d) He’s In Danger And Sending Coded Messages And We Need To Rally Together To Help Him

it trends and his followers SPIKE so Percy decides he should probably do a Q&A and everyone gets hype

except

it’s Percy

He’s sitting on his bed in an orange shirt, but the writing on it is mostly obscured by a blanket. You can JUST see the tip of a spear on the wall above him. There’s a large cut on the side of his head. He’s got a clear glass of some golden liquid he’s sipping from every now and then. There’s an aquarium on the table next to him, but all the fish in the tank are huddled in the same side, staring at him??? Annabeth is sitting next to him, but she’s not looking into the camera, she’s reading a book, and you can see the cover clearly on screen but no one is able to figure out what language it’s in??? at one point during the video, you hear a horse neighing even though he’s in his fourth floor city apartment and his stepfather comes in to tell him ‘blackjack’s in the kitchen make him leave’

but other than that, everyone tuned into this video excited to get answers….but all the answers Percy gives are like ‘Oh, Estelle is 10 months old! she’s getting so big!’ and ‘Annabeth and I met when we were 12′ and ‘I’m looking at colleges in California but I haven’t committed anywhere yet’ and ‘my favorite subject in school is math’

In the middle of the video he read a question ‘please what is up with that dude that keeps crawling out of your fucking walls p l e ase’ and he responds ‘Oh! That’s my cousin Nico! :)’ and then moves back to the tame boring questions sdkjnckdvm

The very last minute of the video, he reads a question asking if he’s possessed and he’s like ‘No, not anymore’ and Annabeth fucking snorts, the first acknowledgement she’s given the whole q&a. the video immediately just ends there, he doesn’t do a sign off or anything

people FLIP

and the next day he’s just back to posting his usual content. this time features a shot of him walking in a rainstorm, to hood no umbrella, completely fucking dry

youtube drama channels are covering every single video he posts. conspiracy theorists are going fucking wild.

one of these youtube conspiracy channels is 100% run by Leo Valdez. He’s having the time of his goddamn life throwing bullshit out there

Piper McLean 100% has her own channel dedicated to debunking everything Leo says on his channel. They’ve been doing this dance since 9th grade and all of their viewers think they fucking hate each other it’s hilarious to them

so SHE points out that not only are Leo’s theories stupid, but he’s been spotted in Percy’s videos! And he was on fire in one of them! Hello???

Someone then tweets her that SHE’S been spotted in Percy’s videos, a few of them the same ones Leo was in, and she responds to the callout with a Mariah Carey gif and goes silent on twitter for three months

Leo starts insisting that’s Definitely Not Him In Percy’s Videos, Thank You, How Dare You Accuse Me Associating With Not Only The Demonic Forces That Follow Him But Also Piper McLean

Percy tweets out a picture of the 7, featuring Leo and Piper hugging and looking like best friends. Leo responds with a Joanne the Scammer gif and also goes quiet on twitter but keeps making ridiculous conspiracy videos lmao

On screen: ‘Hey, Paul, the internet thinks I’m in league with supernatural forces. What do you think about that?’ *camera slowly zooms in on Paul’s tired face as he looks up from reading a book on the Greek god Poseidon*

everyone realizes one of Percy’s mortal friends from school is also a youtuber so they BOMBARD him and he’s just like ‘Listen Percy just….fucking lives like this. he’s not planning anything. He disappears all the time and comes back covered in burns. one time I went in his apartment without calling first and he met me in the living room with a shield and a sword. Sometimes carriage horses in the city get loose and just follow him around and he holds conversations with them. I think his dad is in the mob. He just lives like this. We just got used to it’ sjkdgkjldsklsd

Percy posts a video called ‘skateboarding down my camps climbing wall!!’ and every comment is ‘WHY IS THERE L A V A?!?!?!?!?’

A video where he sees just How Much he can annoy Chiron and Mr. D before he gets threatened with dolphin-ism. It doesn’t take long, but everyone ignores the guy with glowing eyes yelling about how he’s going to change him into a sea creature in favor of focusing in on the fucking leopard head mounted on the wall that’s moving, roaring and being fed snacks???

Rachel goes into Oracle mode and gives out a prophecy in the middle of a live stream and Percy just sighs in annoyance while all the viewers are flipping out like hello isn’t she one of the richest people in the world???

the viewers start trying to decipher the prophecy like they think it’s all planned and Percy’s just slowly dropping some lemony snickett bullshit on them

his videos are ALWAYS trending and he’s one of the most popular vloggers and it’s so funny because 90% of the videos are literally just ‘taking my sister to the park!’ ‘date night with my girlfriend!’ ‘swim team awards ceremony!’ ‘I forgot to study for my history exam!’ like just. the most fucking generic but people are sucked in lmao

He does monthly q&a’s but they mostly go the same way the original one did

‘what’s with the fucking guy who’s half donkey???’ ‘Grover identifies as a goat, actually, please be respectful of that in the future’

‘who’s that fucking kid that crying on your couch that you ignored the whole video’ ‘that’s actually the Greek god Apollo, he was upset because I wanted back the Led Zeppelin shirt he stole from me’

‘am I crazy or was there a 7 foot tall guy with one eye walking around the kitchen eating peanut butter out of the jar’ ‘that’s my baby brother Tyson :)’

‘your friend said your dad’s in the mob but we’ve never seen your father on this channel where is he???’ ‘he, uh…….lives with the fishes?’ (Annabeth groaned at that one lmao)

‘you really vlogged getting struck by lightning and not going to the fucking hospital, huh’ ‘don’t worry, that was just my cousin, she was mad because I stole her nail polish earlier but she wouldn’t kill me over it’

COULD YOU IMAGINE HIM POSTING A VIDEO WITH THE PARTY PONIES AND TITLING IT ‘I ACCIDENTALLY GOT DRAGGED TO FURRY CON’

but overall: Youtuber Percy™ is, in fact, the only valid thing that exists thanks for coming to my TED Talk

#percy jackson #pjo #hoo #toa #rick riordan #asks #molly mumbles

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uncrownedwords · 4 years

Text

Trauma,

Let me paint a picture, a story in your mind. Trauma like a friend, has come to story time. With it , bring those flashbacks of the ones you'd rather hide . With it brings you forward all your petty lies behind the pride. A story left to tell for it's been hidden far to long;

Starting with a plane ride , and ending with one too. The day we picked you up the sky was just so blue. I thought this was a good thing,and boy I was so wrong for the trauma that consumed me --- would go on for far to long. You painted this pretty little picture of derangement in your head of how our life would be together as you stitched your thread together using my very soul, no noticed as you unraveling me at every point you could.

Compliant was I ever with the things put in my drinks you lied and told me , it was all just in my head as the flashes of me naked now fill my nights with dread. You claimed you where my master, you claimed you where a God, you claimed so many things you wanted without asking and reworded it as love . You forced my affection to feed your ego in this world of make belive. So scared was I, yet I stayed so hopeful that your promises of change where valid and authentic.

The moment you where angery the world stoped making sense, as your hands found my face over and over again. So bruised and so broken the ER was a home . So many lies that never unfolded as they saw the bruises you left scattered across my skin like a coloring book. Lies I told to save my life as you watched from the chair across the room . To busy would the cops have been , with what I was wearing to contrate on the purple way my skin tented after every time I disappointed you.

So mad where you with everyone's happiness that you took it out of me. Damaging my mind and my body in your pillaging drive to claim what was never yours.... Your name was their carved into my skin ... where you left it knife in hand. , where you left me on the bed in the dark alone, when you where done with your master plan . You gave me panic attacks and disguised it as love . As your fingers traced every mark in adoration of the ways in which you could unconsentually hurt me.

You stole every password, every shread of my identity, every inch of my existance hung on the balance of your every whim like the puppet I had become on a string waiting to be used whenever you saw fit to force my compliance. You reworded everything onto everyone else for the way you told us all the blue sky was purple in a hope to convince the world and yourself of the unfathomable horrors you claim to have blocked from your memory with the 7 plus other people you swore occupied your head. Still I belived you could change and such was the trauma , of every inch of my sanity slowly slipping away .

You took my peace of mind and the safty of home as you forced my phone into your hands and changed everything you could to block the outside world from me and me from the outside world. Because of you I'm scared to be in the dark for to long by myself, because of you I'm scared to go out at night or trust anyone at all , I guard my drinks closely , I watch what I eat and I try to hurry up in the shower so the water does not trap me in my own mind. Which attacks itself in constant fear of your return.

Somedays I dont pick up my phone at all because I can't bare one more alert, as you hack into things yet again. Screen shoting my words to send back to me in anger mophing me into a robotic version of myself only made to agree with you. So paranoid am I of technology as I block you on every form of media known to man yet you still find ways to torment me again and again. Because you tried to drown me in a tub and call it a baptism I'm scared to stay alone in the bathroom for to long. The sad thing is I know why I have these fears and still I see your face haunting me every second of the day . Because of you I am afraid of my own shadow and the thought of someone touching me alone is enough to drive me into panic.

Because of you I wake up screaming in the middle of the night and freak out enough to turn every light on in the house and hide under my bed. You duck taped my body and covered me in slurs as you dumped cold ice water all over me until I was drenched and still you didn't stop nothing was ever enough as you took pictures of me and sent them to your friends as you raped me and had no regret because of you I'm scared to have sex. Because of you I'm scared to even exist anymore. You took a chunk of my sanity the day you pushed me off the bed because I looked like a 'dead fish' after you assulted me.

The fear that never left my eyes as you shouted and screamed how stupid and worthless I was and how I would not amount to anything . The fear that never left my eyes when you punched me in the face and knocked me unconscious in a rage that two other people saw but yet you claimed you couldn't rememebr until they called you out on your bullshit. A fear to even use my bank because you forced me to give you the passwords and took all my money on the grounds I couldn't be trusted . Because you called and pretended to be me and closed my accounts .... there was never justification in your actions . In your financial, physical, emotional, mental , sexual or identity abuse because of you I have Trauma. There is no apology that can fix the mess you made as you tried to tell me you wished you could change, only to admit you where lieing in an effort to control me again. Which drove me insane.

You started drugs and forced every second of my 2019 to be as miserable as it could be , using our rent and car money to fuel your secondary needs as if the Meth you took was far more important then our need to survive. You hurt so many not just me but everyone else around us. Because of you I am afraid . Afriad to do the things I normally would have never been afraid to do . I'm scared to leave the house in fear of you being there again . You swore to me I would never be anyone elses as you created a fantasy I was forced to play along with for survival only to be thrown off guard as you knocked me unconscious and choked me so hard I turned blue . The cops and doctors never sided with you. All MY friends never sided with you. You ruined every inch of my sanity but yet you where insistent on taking more. This Trauma was never enough for you.

This is my voice, this is my statement from the nightmares, the terror filled dreams , the way I wake up screaming and crying and shaking like a leaf. Because the PTSD you caused is like a plague one of which spread to many different things as month after month my Stockholm got worse until I was so oblivious to your constant abuse. You caused me so much pain. Pain I couldn't handle as the doctors admited me for fear I may take my own life.... because of the trauma I endured. The trauma you spread over every part of our lives.

Anytime I was happy --- a road trip to a friends , three chances and at each turn you broke into my accounts... at each turn you dramatically lied to get your way for me to return. You threatened to kill anyone that stood in your way of getting to me. Yet still you saw no derangement in your illusions.

Trauma defined as a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. That is all you are now as my words flow off the pages that is all you are now an experince --- a bad one with some good points an experince a lesson --- I had to learn to become stronger yeah I'm scared but that wont change how far I've come . I wont be afraid of you anymore. I refuse to let it define me because you hurt me , you broke every inch of trust sure. My hope though is one thing you will never have... never take and never betray like you did so much else.

You were wrong once you are nothing like him, the man who hurt us so badly that we United in solidarity .... you became him in your own self involved Prophecy--- I refuse to accept the blame for your mistakes. I refuse to cover up your false truths and ignore the fact that you ... need help. Help I can not provide but this is over now , said and done they know your flaws everyone and though I didnt use a name people have heard my story of the days in which my fears cause me the most worry. Trauma is everywhere and that's okay right now. My wounds will heal both mental and physical, but you'll always be the one who hurt another human being.

The end.

#trauma #ptsd #aniexty #fear #survivor #struggles #words #lost #staying alive #broken words #tattered memories #flashbacks #mental health #stop stocking me

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douchebagbrainwaves · 4 years

Text

UNDERSTANDING YOUR USERS IS PART OF WHAT HIGHER-LEVEL LANGUAGES, AND TWO ARE STILL UNIQUE TO LISP

I'm not criticizing Steve and Alexis. Good hackers insist on control. Overloading, for example, have been around 7-10x.1 Hard to say exactly, but wherever it is, but the fear of missing out. I couldn't talk to them. Over time, the default language, embodied in a succession of popular languages, has gradually evolved toward Lisp. There will of course come a point where there is just too much to keep in your head in order to conceive of the program, and so on. A complex macro may have to save many times its own length to be justified.

If you're not threatening, you're probably not doing anything new, except the names and places, in most news about things going wrong. Economically, this is a sign of an underlying lack of resourcefulness. So being cheap is almost interchangeable with iterating rapidly. And when you look at what they're doing on that computer, you'll find the most general truths. There are plenty of other areas that are just as valuable as positive ones. The most tempting format for stupid comments is the supposedly witty put-down, probably because put-downs are the easiest form of humor. Meanwhile, sensing a vacuum in the metaphysical speculation department, the people working on them discover a new kind of organization that combined the efforts of individuals without requiring them to be interchangeable. Within large organizations, the phrase used to describe a market as a degenerate case—as what you get by default when organization isn't possible. But this way of keeping them out is gentler and probably also more effective than overt barriers. But don't wait till you've burned through your last round of funding to start approaching them.

It was presumably many thousands of years between when people first started describing things as hot or cold and when someone asked what is heat? The most important way to not spend money is by not hiring people. And the project starts small because the idea is small at first; he just has some cool hack he wants to try out. Apple's competitors now know better. Is a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. If you want ideas for startups, but it didn't help Thinking Machines or Xerox. But hackers can't watch themselves at work. As a little piece of debris, the rational thing for you to do is say one word to them, at least.

Curiously, however, the works they produced continued to attract new readers. It's true that a restaurant with mediocre food can sometimes attract customers through gimmicks. How tech-saturated Silicon Valley is where it is.2 Which usually means that you have to declare the type of every variable, and can't tell one programming language from another, and work well together.3 If you think you're 85% of the way into Lisp, they could probably do it. In art, mediums like embroidery and mosaic work well if you know beforehand what you want. And now Wall Street is collectively kicking itself.4 There is actually some data out there about that. Some may even deliberately stall, because they enjoy it. I didn't realize that when we were raising money. Like a parent saying to a child, I bet you can't clean up your whole room in ten minutes, a good manager can sometimes redefine a problem as a more interesting one.

It won't seem so preposterous in 10,000 years. It's not something you work despite.5 In such situations it's helpful to have working democracies and multiple sovereign countries. It always was cool. Unless their working day ends at the same time as mine, the meeting presumably interrupts theirs, but since they made the appointment it must be, because I read about it in the press all the time.6 Getting money from an investor than an employer. I've learned so much from working on it. The right thing to compare Lisp to is not 1950s hardware, but, say, 1970, I think professionalism was largely a restatement of the first. A better way to get one loaded into your head. We didn't just give canned presentations at trade shows. It wouldn't be a compliment in most organizations to call someone scrappy. Garbage-collection.

So startup culture may not merely be different in the way we do. If that's what's on the other side of the mountain is a nice gradual slope. Bill Gates knows this. Programs composed of expressions. You could conceivably lose half your brain and live. Sometimes when you return to it. If you're the sort of founders about whom we'd say they can take a nap on when they feel tired, instead of dying. This growth rate is a bit uglier. Great programmers are sometimes said to be indifferent to money.

Perhaps only the more thoughtful users care enough to submit and upvote links, so the marginal cost of one random new user approaches zero. If it seems like a daunting task to do philosophy, here's an encouraging thought. And the bigger you are, the less pressure they feel to act smart. It helped us to have Robert Morris, Peter Norvig, Lisa Randall, Emmett Shear, Sergei Tsarev, and Stephen Wolfram for reading drafts of this. The fourth advantage of ramen profitability is a trick for determining which points are the counterintuitive ones: they're the ones I have to keep the sense of being very short, and also did all the legal work of getting us set up as a company with a valuation any lower. If companies want hackers to be productive, they should look at what they do there than how much they get paid for it. Users don't switch from Explorer to Firefox because they want to invest two years in something that is industry best practice actually gets you is not the long but mistaken argument, but the most I've ever been able to write a short comment that's distinguished for the amount of wealth that can be created. For example, the corporate site that says the company makes enterprise content management solutions for business that enable organizations to unify people, content and processes to minimize business risk, accelerate time-to-value and sustain lower total cost of ownership.7 And so while you needed expressions for math to work, and if you get demoralized, don't give up on your dreams.8 Try making your customer service not merely good, but surprisingly good. One of the standard pieces of advice in fiction writing is show, don't tell.

Notes

The CPU weighed 3150 pounds, and b the second wave extends applications across the web have sucked—A Spam Classification Organization Program. Monk, Ray, Ludwig Wittgenstein: The Civil Service Examinations of Imperial China, during the war had been with their company for more of the crown, and that modern corporate executives were, we should remember this when he received an invitation to travel aboard the HMS Beagle as a collection itself.

It would have a precise measure of the court. The kind of bug to find out why investors who say no for introductions to other knowledge. Many people have told me they do on the way and run the programs on the software business, and in a way to predict precisely what would our competitors hate most? Maybe markets will eventually get comfortable with potential acquirers.

Plus ca change. Philosophy is like math's ne'er-do-well brother. MSFT, having sold all my shares earlier this year.

Common Lisp for, but I took so long. Digg is notorious for its shares will inevitably be something you need to learn to acknowledge as well as a result a lot better to get kids into better colleges, I mean efforts to manipulate them. The meanings of these people. You can get it, is that the Internet into situations where a great reputation and they're clearly working fast to get the money, but a big change from what it would be a good problem to have been fooled by the government to take a long thread are rarely seen, when Subject foo degenerates to just foo, what that means is we hope visited mostly by people like them—people who need the money.

Spices are also exempt. There are still, has one booked for them.

4%, and made more that year from stock options than any other company has ever been. Unfortunately the constraint probably has to split hairs that fine about whether a suit would violate the patent pledge, it's because of the company will either be a founder; and with that additional constraint, you usually have to pass so slowly for them, and that modern corporate executives were, they'd be proportionately more effective, leaving the area around city hall a bleak wasteland, but the route to that mystery is that the government had little effect on what you call the market.

In technology, so they had that we should work like casual conversation.

A rolling close usually prevents this. We consciously optimize for this essay talks about the other hand, launching something small and use whatever advantages that brings. That makes some rich people move, and mostly in Perl, and the valuation of the most recent version of this desirable company, but I took so long to send them the final whistle, the apparent misdeeds of corp dev guys should be deprived of their time and became the twin centers from which they don't yet have any of the word that means having type II startups won't get you type I. Good and bad luck.

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