#it kinda feels like sleep paralysis but awake or something. like a bad thing is always right there just outside of my field of vision or | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

boozenboze · 1 year

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an I request male reader with the 141 task force who has nightmares like every night? Its angsty and kinda long, feel free to ignore if you're not comfortable writing it!

The plot is that reader suffers from nightmares, horrific ones, about his past and avoids sleeping as he doesn't want to have one again. The 141 notices and tries to help him, but he's stubborn and runs on caffeine 24/7 so he doesn't fall asleep.

One day though, as they're sitting in the social room, doing stuff, he dozed off on the couch. His teammates were at first happy that he did, as he has been awake for way too long, until he curled up and started crying uncontrollably, saying something inaudible and shaking.

One of the 141 got closer and touched his shoulder, which caused reader to wake up and absolutely lose it, because his sleep fogged brain only saw a dark silhouette leaning over him.

You can end it with the 114 comforting him and him opening up for the first time ever about what happened to him and caused him to lash out like that on them.

Like I said, you don't have to write it, you have the full right to ignore it or smth.

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This was requested by:Anonymous

Sweet Dreams

Tf 141 x Male reader

Females She/Her and She/They

Sleep paralysis and nightmares are hard to deal with.A lack of sleep can make you see and hear things that aren’t there as well.M/n has been dealing with this for as long as he could remember.They weren’t bad at first but have progressively gotten worse throughout time.His past traumas hadn’t made anything better either.Most nights he would waks up in a cold sweat and would be shakened for the rest of the night.His nightmares would get more realistic every time he slept so he came up with the idea to not sleep.He began drinking more stuff with caffeine,energy drinks and coffee became his go too drinks.

One morning M/n had been staring at his ceiling the whole night.He had stayed on his phone,read books,had some Monsters and Red bull ,everything he did to stay awake during the night.After a while he felt his eyelids get heavy and started drifting off before hearing fsint footsteps.His brain was foggy at the moment and his eyes shifted to the side and he saw a dark figure creeping up into his bed.He suddenly couldn’t move,scream,nothing.Tears pooled in his eyes before he suddenly jolted up.

He hadn’t realized he’d fallen asleep.He wiped his eyes and looked down at his floor and saw the cans of energy drinks he had been consuming.He shakily rose from his bed before msking his esy out of his room,before making his way to the kitchen.He started to make some coffe,dark roast since that usually made him stay awake.He was going to to go to a pharmacy and get some pills that would keep him awake.The scent of coffee could be smelled throughout the kitchen,and M/n hadn’t noticed his lieutenant walked into the room.

“Why are you awake seargent?”The taller male spoke as M/n flinched at the males voice.He turned around to face the male before turning away and pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“Can’t sleep.”M/n responded,keeping his answer short.Ghost approached the male snd cupped his cheek,turning his face so he could examine the male.The h/c haired male had big eyebags and his eyes were red.Ghosts eyes softened at the sight.He already noticed that the e/c haired male looked tired but he just didn’t mention it.

“Go back to bed seargent.”Ghost said firmly as he took the cup from M/n’s hands.

“But I-“M/n tried to speak up but was interrupted.

“Go to your room seargent,thats an order.”Ghost said as he lifted his mask to taste the coffee M/n was drinking.M/n sighed as he went to his room,already knowing he wasn’t going to sleep.

A few hours had gon by and M/n snuck out the base to get the pills.He came back when some other soilders were getting some cardio in.M/n snuck back to his room without being noticed before dumping the contents on his mattress.Along with the pills he restoked on his energy drinks and cracked ond open and taking large gulps.He took one of the pills and he immediately felt energized.He felt strange though,considering he hadn’t slept in days.He took a hot shower before changing into his uniform.

Gaz was in the kitchen eating his breakfast and looked up when he heard footsteps.He quickly chewed his food when he saw it was M/n.

“G’morning M/n-”Gaz spoke out as he watched M/n pour himslef some coffee.He hadn’t failed to notice the males hand shaking as he pured the coffee.Some of it spilling onto the counter as he finally sat it down.

“Hey...you alright you seem jumpy?”Gaz asked out in concern as M/n looked him in the eye.Like Ghost, Gaz saw the eyebags under rhe males eyes.

“Did ya sleep any?”The Brit asked as he watched M/n eat a protein bar.

“Just peachy Gaz.”M/n said walking away leaving Gaz in the kitchen alone.The brown skinned male could only wonder if the male was really okay.

M/n went through his day like normal.He spared with Soap who seemed to be going easier on him for some reason.Soap noticed the males movements were slower and he just looked exhausted.Soap thought it was unfair considering he had several advantages.Again the male seemed exhausted and sluggish so Soap just called their spar a tie.

“M/n you doing ok?You seem off.”Soap pointed out as M/n chuckled in response.

“Im fine Soap just a little tired y’know?”M/n said casually as he wiped his head from the sweat on his forebead.The male waved Soap off as he exited to room leaving Soap with his concerned thoughts.

The day went by pretty quickly and M/n had taken his shower.Soap made the idea to have a movie night with 141 and they agreed.Ghost decided to join since he finished what he had to do.M/n came into the room with more comfortable attire and took a seat next to Price.The older man had discarded his cigar and was holding a book as Gaz and Soap fought over what movie they should watch.M/n felt more at peace,surrounded by the people he considered family made him feel safe.After a few minutes they finally put on a movie that they could enjoy.Halfway into the program M/n had fallen asleep.Nobody would have noticed if the sound of M/n’s body shifting hadn’t caught their attention.Price saw the male curled into a ball on the end of the couch and a small smile made it upon his face.He stood up and grabbed a pillow,gently laying it beneath his the males head.M/n gripped the pillow and huffed when he picked up the heavy scent of Prices cigar.

“Well won’t you look at that.Mans finally succumbed to sleep.”Soap spoke out as he watched the male let out peaceful breaths.They never saw the male so at peace before so this was something they’d have to be grateful for.Price had walked in M/n’s room before and saw all the empty cans that were pooling out of his trash bag.He had been worried for him in the beginning,but didn’t know that the male had been struggling with sleep.Now what they didn’t notice was that the male was half asleep.

M/n had woken up from Price changing his position.He felt drunk, barely being aware of what was happening around him.Then it happened again.A figure began approaching him but it had more details than usual.It began approaching him and he began to shake slightly,eyes beginning to water.Then he realized,he could move.His finger was twitching slightly and right when the figure was in range he sprang up and punched it.Unlike his usual occurrences, the figure made a noise.

"Yo M/n calm down mate!"Gaz yelled out, wrapping his arms around the male in attempts to get him off of Soap, who was currently blocking M/n's punches.The h/c haired male was breathing heavily,tears pouring out of his e/c eyes as his punches got weaker by the second.M/n slumped in Gaz's hold, now processing the situation he was currently in.Ghost helped Soap stand up as he felt his cheek that was beginning to bruise.M/n was shaking as Gaz held him close and started whispering reassurances into his ears as he himself tried to process what happend.Price had gotten Soap an icepack before pulling M/n up.The male had been mumbling several “im sorry’s” as Price pulled him into a hug.

It didn’t take long for the male to begin sobbing.Price held him as close as he could as the male cried into his shoulder.

“It’s ok muppet, tis just us.”Price said gently as the male hiccuped into his shoulder.A few moments went by until M/n’s breathing pattern was steady again.Price pulled the male out of his hold and M/n looked down in guilt.

“I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean t-to hurt you Soap.”M/n stuttered as Soap smiled at him reassuringly.

“Ah..it’s alright mate, ya probably didn’t mean it.”Soap responded sheepishly as M/n smiled awkwardly.The man began rubbing his eyes so it was clear that the male was still sleepy.

“Muppet I know you haven’t been sleeping,I saw all the drinks in your.That stuff isn’t good for you handsome.”Price said cupping the males cheek and caress the male with his thumb.“Tis there something your not telling us?”Price asked as M/n looked away ashamed.

“I’ve...been having nightmares, t-they’ve been getting worse.I-I was scared to go to sleep so I started drinking more caffeine.I also bought these.”M/n said as he took the bottle out of his hoodie pocket.

“Well lets stop using these.”Ghost spoke,taking the bottle from the male and put them somewhere where he couldn’t see them.

“And stop drinking this shit.”Gaz said as he wandered off into M/n’s room,taking all the full and empty cans of Monster and Redbull.Soap guided the male back to his room and made him lay down.

When the others came to M/n’s room Soap had the male in his lap as M/n’s legs were wrapped around his waist.The h/c haired male had his face nuzzled in the Scottish mans neck as he rubbed circles into his back.

“He’s sleeping again.”Soap whispered so he wouldn’t wake the sleepless male.He gently layed M/n down and secured the blankets around him.Ghost took his boots off and sat next to the sleeping male on the bed.

“I’m gonna watch him y’all can go.”Ghost spoke roughly as Soap furrowed his brows.

“Are you sure L.T-I mean what if he-.”

“I’ll be fine Johnny.”Ghost cut the male off as he heard a whimper come from M/n.Ghost moved rubbed M/n’s arm and the male stopped making noise.Price hummed as he left the room with gaz and Soap nodded towards Ghost before leaving the room.

Believe or not this would be one of the many future nights that you have

Sweet Dreams

#gay #lgbtq #male reader #mw2 x male reader #cod x male reader #male y/n #gaz x male reader #ghost x male reader #captain price x male reader #soap x male reader #:)

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rosiesbunny · 7 months

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on the night of november 18th 2023

i wanted to sleepover at spencer's but, beya's parents were staying so they were using the mattress, no big deal. so spencer reconstructed one of his sofas to a flat bed kinda-thing. i didn't feel like smoking before bed but, also i wanted to respect beya's parents being present, in addition to spencer offering me to sleeping in his room. i also was falling asleep to "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? (1967)" I was on my phone for a little bit and then by 1:27am i put my phone down to sleep.

for the first time in my life, i experienced being a light sleeper, the cats were just making me feel on-edge. constantly jumping on the bed i was laying in, climbing/laying on me; they kinda wanted to play w me and at some points they would just stare at me. i kept trying to go to sleep but every time i heard their bell ring from their collars i would just wake up instantly i felt so wide awake, they had so much energy, both of them.

during this time, i was laying on the bed to where i was facing the window, there's a big tree in "our" front yard, i began to notice that i was hearing high vibrations. at first, the lights of the porch were on and i noticed the movements of the leaves, a memory of marielle, the day before, telling me and cece that she saw a face at the door of her background. as i was looking through the leaves that thought stayed in my head and suddenly i saw a face, i focused on one spot of these branches and i saw a face. i immediately became afraid so i switched positions of the bed so that i was facing the wall and i attempted to find slumber again. there was one point after where, i was laying facing the window accept the porch light was off so i couldn't see the tree leaves that well. the way i positioned my arms, i had my head down so i couldn't see if the cats would hope onto the bed but, i can still feel if they are on the bed by my senses. as i was attempting to sleep for the infinity-th time i felt one of the cats trying to smell my sweater, not really smelling more like gently poking their nose at around my stomach. i got up but i didn't see the cats, i saw and heard both miso and mochi playing on the ground or they were under the bed. this happened twice.

around 3:30ish-am, i was so over it and just wanted to sleep that i took a blanket and pillow + my water bottle and i quietly went downstairs to the living room. i laid on the couch and finally i calmed myself down, the cats weren't around and I could finally sleep. i closed my eyes to feel slumber, i did feel it in the back of my head and i knew what it was, i even said acknowledged it mentally. however, i felt it move over to the side of my head, this was around the time of when i started to hear high frequencies again. i suddenly felt paralysis i knew what it was, it was different than sleep paralysis bc i didn't feel scared, the entire process was mental. it seemed like there was a part of my consciousness that recognized what it was and wanted me to relax first before accepting it. i felt the feeling of physical restriction but it wasn't bad, it felt like pressure as if something was slowly sinking into me. i suddenly had a vision that wasn't a dream

the first vision was, i was sitting or laying down on the couch and i was at spencer's house but the furniture layout was different, i was talking to a very nice black couple, i can't remember what we were talking about but, it was a very mundane conversation. the second vision i had was more silly and imaginary, it was of doja cat dancing infront of me and i was just watching her but, once she got closer to me on the couch i sort've erased the vision away. the third and last vision that i had was of spencer coming downstairs, the whole time he is talking to me and he walks straight to the backyard door to look outside, they're still talking to me and at some point he walks over to where i'm on the couch and i asked him something like, "spencer, can you let me sleep please?" to which he answers in a sassy tone, "no." i woke up from those visions and i realized i was in paralysis so i was quite groggy from it and i slowly felt the paralysis lift up from out of me, that was when i finally went to sleep.

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whatifut · 2 years

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Okay, so I've had this happen more than once now, so I kinda wanna describe something. This is not art, just slice of life.. stuff?

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If you're getting triggered by talk about sleep paralysis(?) or something along those lines, don't read on!

Just for clarification, I'm neither afraid of this, nor bothered by it consciously. I'm generally often tired but I'm not sure it has anything to do with the thing that I want to describe

So in general, I'm a grown up, in the sense that lots of people my age don't remember their dreams after waking up. But I do.

There's kind of a reoccurring phenomenon that might be a sleep paralysis with some hallucinations, maybe.

The Thing is when that phenomenon happens I'm aware that I'm asleep, but in that dream it's like I'm awake in my bed and can't wake up.

At the same time it feels like some bad creatures are haunting me...

Since I can't wake up, but I'm aware I'm dreaming, I'm trying to sit up to face those creatures. But it's like my body is hardly able to move and it feels like suffocating.

I'm almost able to lift my back off the mattress but it feels like my body is too heavy for my muscles. Luckily since I know I'm dreaming I can "fight" the hallucinations by imagining creatures I used to draw to tear them apart.

As soon as those hallucinations stop and that suffocating feeling is gone I start awake. The first few moments it feels like panic, but then I'm thinking about the "dream" and get a "this darn thing again" attitude and feel exhausted enough to fall asleep again.

So, anyone know this phenomenon?

Just from googling it sounds like sleep paralysis, maybe?

#sleep paralysis #description #maybe #sleeping #nightmares #anyone else?#is this a problem?#maybe it was that caffeine before bed?

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bird-dreaming · 2 years

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Dream archived from discord, sent 11/14/2020 12:30 PM

Okay, I still can't get over this dream I had a day ago. So, remember when we were kinda staying up a bit late getting all confused abt what to do with PE and Media Writing and I said I drank some coffee and was getting really fucking drunk on my sleepiness mixing in with caffeine? I ended up passing out at around 12:50 or some shit. Anw, my body felt super tired and nothing was making sense at all anymore and maybe drinking coffee while being physically fatigued wasn't such a good idea.

The part of the dream I remembered vividly started off with me going near our front door. Like most Filipino houses, we had a front porch with chairs and shit that you would call a terrace. Usually it gets super dark outside bc we lived far away from the main road highway so there was no street lights at all. At around 6 or 7, one of us would open lights we installed on the porch and the little walkway outside so at least we could still see if anyone goes nearby or if there's something going on at the front of the house.

I got up from where I was at the time and tried opening the lights bc it was getting real dark outside. I flicked open the switch, and nothing happened. I tried again and again and again. Nothing. Like the lights were broken.

I looked at the screen door and realized that the outside was basically a black void as if it was super duper late already. That's when I started realizing that things didn't made sense since usually the lights would have been opened by twilight. It wasn't fully clicking yet, but I felt something was off.

I suddenly felt a strange and ominous feeling crawl up my body and I felt pain all over. I had a sudden anxiety spike told me that someone was approaching from the dark void outside and was about to murder me.

My brain came to the conclusion that it was none other than Jim Pickens, outside, about to stab me in the guts. This is when it really clicked in my head that nothing made sense.

"Jim Pickens? That's a sim from CallMeKevin's series. He isn't real. Why am I scared? Oh wait. This is a dream fuck." I honestly thought.

I don't like dreams. I don't like dreams at all. I've said multiple times that I hate having dreams where I'm aware of what's happening. This was no exception.

I ran off to my bedroom and laid down in bed to try to go awake, all the while my brain created dark shadows to follow me as I tried to. This is where the most frustrating nightmare started.

I couldn't wake up. I just couldn't stand up. I felt my body tense up so bad that it was painful. I felt a strange shadow near me but things were blurry as I struggled to open my eyes.

I felt a sort of restraint chaining down my entire body as I tried to move my limbs. It felt awful. I couldn't move my ass for shit.

I eventually felt some light coming to my eyes that wasn't a dream but I still couldn't move my limbs that well. I swung around one arm trying to get my sister's attention as I struggled to get any part of my body moving. The whole place was blurry as fuck and I couldn't open my eyes no matter how hard I tried. I screamed, but I couldn't open my mouth. I was trying to scream so hard, but I couldn't and no one could hear me.

I finally saw a blurry shadow approach me that looked familiar. It was my sister. I tried to reach out my hands to get up and to have her help me up, but my body couldn't do it. My sister tried to pull me up but I couldn't.

Then a horrible realization came to me. I wasn't struggling waking up at all. I was still asleep. My sister trying to help me up was a dream. Me struggling to open my eyes was part of the dream.

After this sudden realization, comes part two of sleep paralysis setting in. I finally got to reality, and I still couldn't move my limbs properly. My eyes couldn't open and it was pretty black.

Suddenly, in a shorter time than the nightmarish struggle, my eyes opened awake. I could move my limbs again, but they were painful as fuck as if the shoulder pain I've been experiencing the whole day the day before spread throughout my body. In the most anticlimactic way, I thought, "should I scream now?" And just went with moaning out "eeeeeeeeh" for a while until my sister took off her headphones.

The whole thing was over and was honestly the most frustrating dream I had in a while.

That wasn't long, but God the experience felt like it

#dreams #2020 #11142020 #callmekevin #jim pickens #sleep paralysis #stabbing tw #long post

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amygdalae · 2 years

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Think I mightve had sleep paralysis last night? It checked the boxes: lying in my bed, couldn't move, felt intense pressure on my body, felt scared and sensed a presence (or multiple?) In the room with me

The thing is it happened as I was drifting in and out of dreams, and my mind didnt really feel fully awake either, so I kinda wonder if I just dreamt I got sleep paralysis. Except the fear was especially potent in a way it typically doesn't get during dreams unless they're a REALLY bad nightmare or something.

However I was able to get over the fear by like.. reframing in my head that whatever presence was wrapped around me just wanted to cuddle or something (I know it sounds silly but it worked. and I drifted back to normal sleep after that). So either: A. I was having sleep paralysis and was able to calm myself down enough to fall back asleep or B. I was having a weird nightmare but was able to achieve enough lucidity to control the narrative a bit and like. circumvent being afraid?

#im not good at like. deliberate lucid dreaming but by luck i can sometimes achieve enough awareness to understand im not in normal reality #so like i cant really control it on purpose but i can influence the dream by sorta rolling with the punches i guess.#it couldve just been sleep paralysis tho. as i said it was hard to tell #ive had sleep paralysis a few times before (even as a kid before i knew what sleep paralysis was) and it felt kinda similar.

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zodiyack · 4 years

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Who’s Watching

Requested by @cai-neki: May i ask a request; Youngest Shelby!reader one an angsty again, where someone's haunting the reader (she couldn't grasp if it's a past memory or person) ending up into various looks from her brothers thinking she may have a trauma but it turns out there is really someone following her around. Kinda long and messsy but yeah.

Pairing: Shelby & Gray Family + Shelby!Female!Reader

Warnings: Stalkers, swearing, my horrible reference in the title, angst

Words: 1,642

Summary: (See Request)

Taglist: @matth1w, @redspaceace-writes, @peakysputain, @fandom-puff, @darling-i-read-it, @cai-neki, @simonsbluee, @marquelapage, @sebastianstanslefteyebrow, @thewarriorprincessxo

Masterlist | Peaky Blinders Masterlist

Her chest heaved with uneven breaths as she slammed the front door shut behind her, back pressed against it. Her brothers walked in to see what the noise was about, surprised to see their sister’s disheveled body blocking the door.

“What the fuck happened to you?” Arthur exclaimed first. He eyed her with wide curious eyes, not all that sure whether he should be mad at her or getting revenge for her.

“S- some- someone-” She couldn’t form a full word with how heavy she was breathing, gasping for air as she rested her hands on her knees.

“Someone what? Did they follow you?” Tommy moved to the windows, looking around before drawing the blinds. “Are you alright?”

“W-wat-wah-”

“Water. Get her some water, Finn!” Arthur yelled before turning back to his sister. “Nod or shake your head. Are you alright?”

She shrugged.

“Do you need help?”

Again, she shrugged.

“Did they want to kill you?”

She shrugged once again, this time taking the water as Finn passed the glass to her.

“Can you stop fucking shrugging?”

A few gulps of water later, the cold liquid soothing her dry throat, she spoke up. Her breathing was still off, but she was recovering. “Someone was following me. I don’t know if they’re trying to kill me or if they followed me home, I just know that I did the thing you taught me-”

“What thing?” Finn furrowed his brows in confusion.

“Tommy. He told me that if I got a bad feeling about someone walking in the same direction as me, to turn a couple times, walk in directions off-route. This person followed me even then. As soon as I realized that, I ran as fast as I could. I didn’t even take the time to look back.”

“Good girl.” Every head in the room turned to Pol, who leaned against the door-frame of the family room. She slowly walked forward, moving her niece aside to look around outside the door before shutting it and locking it. Tommy gave her a questioning glance, to which she replied, “all clear at the front door.”

“Alright. Finn, go check the back, Arthur, can you patrol the house? If one of the doors were unlocked, they could have gotten in while we were talking.”

“Yep.”

The three waited in the main room for over an hour. Tommy and Polly took turns comforting Y/n as they waited for the boys to return. When Finn and Arthur did indeed return, Tommy was suddenly more doubtful than Y/n expected. Finn confirmed that all the doors were locked, Arthur reporting no one but themselves in the home.

Thomas turned toward his sister. “Are you sure someone was following you? Did you forget a turn and assume they were?”

“What?” Y/n’s face morphed into an expression of disbelief, hurt that her brother would question her. She was horrified, looking as if she’d seen a ghost, when she ran inside. The entire time she was running, her body felt uneasy, like she would faint had she stopped for even a second. It felt like her stomach had dropped.

“Are you one-hundred percent serious?”

“Yes- well- I-” It was ironic. She’d looked like she’d seen a ghost and for a split second, she thought it was a ghost. Had she been hallucinating? No, the chase felt too real. Whether it be a person or something from long ago, she knew it was after her. “I don’t know if they were human but-”

“You don’t know if they were human?” Arthur cackled. “Tommy, she thinks a mummy ran after her!”

“I never said that!”

“Was it a werewolf? Was he going to eat you? Gobble you up?” Arthur continued to poke fun. Only Thomas, Polly, and Y/n remained straight-faced. Polly noticed Y/n tearing up, the genuine hurt in her eyes saying that whatever it was, she was still terrified for her life.

“Arthur. Stop.” Although he continued to chortle, Finn’s laughter faded as he made eye-contact with his aunt. “Arthur.”

Finn nudged Arthur harshly. He stopped laughing and turned to Pol. “Yeah?”

“Stop teasing your sister right this damn moment or I’ll find whatever was chasing her and let it have you instead. She was beyond terrified. Look at her!” Polly snapped. “Can’t you see she thought she was literally going to die?!”

As the arguing went on, Y/n sighed and headed to her room. Her aunt was a great save, but that didn’t mean she believed her either. Only defending her due to catching how mortified she was. The embarrassment gifted to herself by a simple overthinking thought. ‘What if I was only imagining things...’ her brothers made her second guess herself.

The night went on, lights turning off, Shelbys and Grays lying in their beds, until everyone in the home was fast asleep. The windows and doors were locked, blinds drawn, and home quiet. The creaking of the wood, however, was new. It sounded like someone was stirring, but no one was awake to hear it.

Screaming awoke the members of the Shelby home. John had just returned, Ada as well, and had a head start to their sister’s room. She had sat up so quick it felt like she should’ve gotten whiplash. When the other four got to Y/n’s room, Ada was sitting on the bed beside Y/n, holding her close to her, and John was sitting on the edge of the bed, shooting her a sympathetic look.

“Did you see them again?” Finn inquired. Arthur slapped him up the back of the head, earning a glare from his little brother. “I’m being serious!” He whisper yelled at Arthur, only to be ignored.

“See who?” Ada looked at her family with widened eyes of confusion. She turned to her sister then back to her brothers and aunt. “What happened?”

“Ada. I’ll um...tell you in the study, okay?” Polly mumbled softly. Ada nodded and rose from the bed, hugging Y/n reassuringly before walking to her aunt. Both women stopped in their tracks as Y/n’s voice sounded again.

“I had a nightmare. The same person. They were in...here. My room. They opened my door and began to walk over to my bed. I couldn’t move. I was terrified. I thought it was all over, but another door opened and the person ran away. I screamed when I could, but for some reason, it was delayed.” She didn’t even take a break to breath or rethink details. It was like she was reliving it even at that very moment.

Tommy looked concerned. He whispered something to Pol before gathering his brothers and the other two females. They left the room, Tommy closing the door behind him, and left Y/n by herself to meet in the study.

“She’s got some kinda flashbacks or something like that.” Finn commented.

“We went to war, she...well, whatever happened, it wasn’t as bad as war. I doubt it’s some kind of thing she’d seen. Perhaps it’s her imagination again.” Arthur grunted in response.

The three older brothers had dealt with PTSD before, the effects similar to Y/n’s awakening, but Arthur didn’t believe she was hurt. He couldn’t bring himself to believe it. The man wanted his little sister to be safe, and knowing he couldn’t keep her so would hurt him more than the war did.

“I say it’s a trauma.”

“What kind?” Ada was quick to question Thomas, as per usual. “Injury related or event caused?”

“Either. If she hit her head, perhaps walked into something on the way home, or if she saw something she didn’t want to see...”

Unbeknownst to the family in the study, Y/n was on the other side of the doors. She pushed them open with a furry. “I’m not traumatized. Nothing that happened is from my imagination or some injury! This person is real and no matter what you do or say, they won’t stop.” She stormed out just as quickly as she stormed in, leaving her family to dwell in her warning.

She hadn’t left the home all day. It concerned the family, but they understood. No one had spoken a word to her since she’d made her point. When it was time to sleep again, Ada and Pol were the only ones to bid her goodnight, the boys cowardly, even more so when it came to admitting it.

The creaking occurred again. Y/n was awake this time, wide awake. The dream felt just as real as her escape had. Last night, she’d fallen asleep, given the person an advantage. Not tonight, she swore, not tonight.

Footsteps grew louder as they neared her door, the small squeak of the door opening causing Y/n to clench her eyes shut. Cold air followed the stranger; Y/n thought to herself, the person must have opened a window...but they were all locked, were they not?

She couldn’t be certain.

They stood over her bed, hesitating for whatever reason. Y/n had her own advantage this time. She wasn’t in sleep paralysis, she wasn’t incapable of showing the stalker what Shelbys learn since birth. Right as they reached for her, the mirror next to the wall by her bed positioned so she could see them, she slid under their squatted legs and darted out her bedroom door.

Behind her was not her concern as she ran for a specific room. Their footsteps thundered loudly, yet not loud enough to wake the rest of the family. Hot on her trail, they aggressively swung for her, but her distance was just far enough that they couldn’t reach her fully.

Reaching the room, she grabbed the first gun in sight, turning and firing. A few seconds later, steps padded throughout the house and stopped at the door. There they saw their little sister with a gun, standing over the person who’d been stalking her, wounded but not dead.

“Told you.”

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actress4him · 3 years

Text

Bonus Whumptober Content

I had no plans originally of continuing the story from Whumptober Day 28. As far as I was concerned, it ended badly and that was that.

But you can all thank @outtacommission , because I was bribed into continuing it!

If you need a refresher on the original chapter, click the link above or read it on AO3.

This is the start of the new content, which ended up being super long, so I broke it up into three short chapters. I’m really excited and nervous to share this. Writing sequels for oneshots that weren’t originally supposed to be continued is...tough. This is the second time I’ve done it, and I always feel like the continuation isn’t as good as the original. But I’m pretty happy with how this turned out, so I hope that you guys enjoy it, too!

Fandom: Voltron Legendary Defender

Warnings: (big spoilers!) needles, implied CPR, broken bones, blood, brain damage, paralysis, amputation, panic attacks

“Quiznak. Oh, holy quiznak, Keith?”

“He’s not breathing. I’ve got no pulse.”

“Hold him steady, I’m cutting the back of this chair off so we can get to the shrapnel.”

“Come on, Keith. Breathe. Breathe!”

“Look, I found this in Red’s first aid kit. I’m a universal donor.”

“Get it hooked up, he needs everything we can give him.”

“Please, Keith. Please.”

“Shiro, his ribs…”

“I know. They’ll heal.”

“Wait! Look!”

“Oh my g-...okay. Okay. Hurry, let’s get him to the Black Lion. I’ll need you to ride with him so you can keep up the transfusion.”

“Right behind you.”

Consciousness came in spurts. The first time, he surfaced from the never-ending blackness to nothing but cold and pain, and the feeling that his insides were twisted into a big knot and trying their best to exit his body. As he retched, body automatically jerking to try to sit up or roll over and sending even more pain shooting through him, frantic voices surrounded him.

“...reaction...blood…!”

“But...O neg...shouldn’t…”

Somebody scooped him up like a baby and ran, jarring his screaming abdomen with every step, before depositing him onto a semi-soft surface.

“...Galra…”

“...sample...synthesize more…”

The words meant nothing to him. All he knew was pain and nausea, and a blur of lights and movement above him.

Just before he passed out again, there was a sharp prick in his forearm that momentarily drew his attention away from the rest of the pain. He couldn’t find the energy to protest it.

The second time, voices were the first to filter in, hushed tones that sounded as if they were speaking a foreign language. His eyes fluttered open, but the bright lights overhead made him wince and squeeze them back shut.

“You’re okay,” someone soothed, the only words he could actually pick out from among the rest. “You’ll be just fine. Go back to sleep, now.”

There was a prick on the back of his hand, and he whimpered involuntarily. But a moment later the nothingness was taking back over, and he gladly slipped underneath.

The next time he woke, he had no recollection of the first two times, or of anything that happened before, but for some reason he was surprised to be waking up. Somehow, he didn’t think he was going to do so. But here he was, awake. Only, he had no idea where here was.

“Keith? Bud? You with us?”

He knew that voice. Turning his head toward it, he willed his eyes to open, and after a moment, they obeyed. A blur of yellow and brown met him.

“Hey, bud! It’s good to see those eyes open. Can you hear me?”

Keith blinked, trying to bring the person into focus. Once their features had solidified enough that he could make out dark brown eyes and a smile, he licked his chapped lips and attempted to speak.

“Hunk.” For some reason the N dragged on for much longer than he had intended, but it was a word, regardless.

“Yeah! That’s me! Oh my gosh, you have no idea how happy I am that you’re awake and okay.”

How long had he been asleep? It must have been a while for Hunk to be worried. And he was pretty sure he felt okay, though maybe a bit numb overall. Maybe he really had been asleep for a long time. It kinda felt like he was waking up after one of those naps you take while you’re sick and your fever breaks in the middle of it.

He licked his lips again, to no avail. “‘hirsty.”

“Yep, yep, I’m sure you are.” Hunk turned and snatched something up off a nearby table, bringing it toward Keith’s face. “Here ya go. Small sips.”

The water was the most wonderful thing he had ever tasted in his life. He wanted to gulp it all down, ignoring what he had been told, but Hunk pulled it away after only a couple of seconds.

“Okay, I’m gonna go get Shiro and Fallenta and let them know you’re awake, alright? I’ll be right back.”

Keith struggled to process that sentence. He didn’t think he recognized one of those names, and he still couldn’t figure out why him being awake was such a big deal. Unless...he had gotten hurt in one of their fights. But then why wouldn’t he be waking up from the pod, not in whatever bed this was?

“Wha...happened?” His words continued to come out strangely, despite his best efforts. Maybe he had been sleeping on his face, because it was one of those numb parts of him that didn’t seem to want to move properly.

Hunk froze at the doorway, turning slowly to face him. “Um...what do you remember?”

It was a good question. Wrinkling his brow, he searched his still half-dazed mind, trying and failing to grasp at the snippets of memories that danced by. It didn’t take long for his head to start hurting, and he shut his eyes, giving up for the moment. “Don’t know. A fight?” He had a vague recollection of being in Red recently. “In the Lions?”

“Um, yeah, well, that’s...one thing that happened.” Hunk seemed nervous, fidgeting with his hands. “I’m gonna go, um, get the others, and they can tell you everything, ‘kay?” Without giving Keith a chance to protest, he disappeared through the door.

Keith sighed, and tested out various parts of his body. Other than most of his right side being curiously numb, and an almost unnoticeable ache in a couple more places, everything seemed to be working properly. He had been in Red right before waking up there...right? Maybe she could tell him what was going on.

Only when he closed his eyes and reached for their connection, he came up empty. There was nothing there. No hum, no purr, nothing. His heart leapt into his throat. Red! Red, where are you? What if something had happened to her? What if she was gone? What if he had done something to make her reject him, and he wasn’t even a paladin anymore, what if that’s what Hunk didn’t want to tell him? If he wasn’t a paladin anymore, then he’d...he’d be nothing. Useless. There would be absolutely no reason for him to be in the Castle anymore, in space at all. The other paladins would take him back to Earth and dump him off, and he’d have no one and nothing yet again.

The door opened, and Keith shot upright, ignoring the way it made his head swim and that ache in his ribs twinge. “I can’t feel Red! I can’t...what happened? Where’s Red?”

“Hey! Hey, shh, Keith, it’s okay!” Shiro was across the room in an instant, sitting down on the side of the bed and grasping Keith’s shoulders in both his hands. “I need you to calm down for me, okay? I’ll explain, but I need you to take deep breaths.”

Drawing in one such breath to appease the man, Keith glanced around the room, taking in Hunk’s worried expression and the alien stranger that stood on the other side of his bed. “Somebody please just tell me what's going on.” The words were still slurred, which was getting more frustrating by the second. “Why’m I here?”

He hated the look that Shiro shot up at the alien before catching his eyes again. They were treating him like a fragile child. Even when he was a child, he had gotten more bad news in his few years than most adults did in their whole lives, so it wasn’t like he didn’t always expect more.

“You were in an accident,” Shiro finally explained, still speaking far too slowly and softly. “You and Red got hit with a zaiforge cannon and crashed into a nearby planet. Do you remember?”

Keith already knew he didn’t, so he wasn’t going to waste time searching his memory when he still wanted answers. “Where’s Red? Is she okay?”

Offering a sympathetic smile, Shiro squeezed his shoulder with his flesh hand. “She’s in rough shape. All her systems are shut down right now. But Pidge and Coran and Hunk have been working on her, and they’re optimistic that everything can be fixed. With time.”

Letting all his breath out with a whoosh, Keith slumped over forward. It was simultaneous good news and bad news. Red hadn’t rejected him, or at least he didn’t think so. But he hated that she was so badly hurt. “I wanna see her.”

Shiro’s smile twitched up a little higher. “I know. But first, we need to check on you. You’ve been unconscious for quite a while. Everything seems to have healed up alright, but there were some things that couldn’t be tested while you were out.”

As if this was their cue, the alien - an objectively pretty, willowy creature with mauve fur, four long, thin arms, and a myriad of long, thin fingers on each hand - stepped forward. Their voice was light and feminine, and had a lilting accent that reminded him of Lance when he fell into his native tongue.

“I am going to give you some simple instructions to follow, okay?”

Keith frowned. “Who ‘re you?”

“Oh, yes, right.” Shiro indicated the newcomer with one hand. “This is Fallenta. She’s a Tellimite. They’re one of the most medically advanced species in the universe. We wanted to make sure you had the best care possible, so Allura brought us to Tellima as soon as we had you in the pod. Fallenta has been...indispensable.”

His explanation only caused Keith more confusion. If he had been in a pod, then why did he need a doctor? And again, why was he in some bed now?

Seeming to sense his questions, Fallenta smiled and settled down opposite Shiro. “There were some...complications from your injuries. Coran and Shiro made the right call by placing you into a healing pod right away, knowing that it was the only way to save your life, but that meant that your bones that were broken could not be reset before healing. One of my jobs was to correct this once your abdomen wound was no longer life threatening.”

“Yes, you actually had two different stints in the pod,” Shiro nodded. His brow furrowed. “Well, three, if you count the time that your body rejected the blood Pidge had given you and started trying to shut down. Thankfully, Coran had those samples he took from all of us at the beginning, and was able to synthesize some more of yours.”

Keith couldn’t stand the troubled expression on Shiro’s face, especially since he had been the one to put it there. Lifting his left arm, he gently squeezed his brother’s elbow. “I’m okay now.”

Shiro smiled, but there was a sheen to his eyes. “You have no idea how relieved I am about that.”

“Your cognition seems to be just fine,” Fallenta said, “and losing memory of the traumatic event is not uncommon. There are a few other things I need to check, though.”

She spent the next few minutes shining a flashlight into his eyes, asking him some questions about things that happened prior to the accident, getting him to remember a short list of objects, and observing his reactions to various movements and sounds. All of it led Keith to believe that it was his brain being tested, and it made him nervous. No one would tell him anything else, though, simply repeating that they would explain everything shortly.

It seemed to be going well, though, and everyone was smiling and calm, so he tried not to let it get to him. Until Fallenta moved on to testing sensations. She started on his left arm, lightly touching it with her finger, then poking her claw into his skin, then digging in her knuckle. Everything felt like it should.

“Alright, the right arm, now.” She smiled at him and held his gaze, but after a moment of nothing further happening, her smile faded into a neutral expression. Another moment, and he was wondering why she hadn’t done the test yet.

“Do you feel any of this, Keith?”

“What?” He looked down, and her finger was on his forearm. As he watched, she moved it up and down his arm, tapping lightly. He swallowed hard. “It's...it's been really numb e’er since I woke up. My face an’ leg, too.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Shiro stiffen. “What does that mean?”

Fallenta smiled again, and as nice of a smile as it was, he was beginning to hate it. “Let’s complete the tests, and I will be able to tell you more. Can you feel this?”

This time he watched as she pricked him with her claw, and to his relief, there was a faint jolt of pain. “A little. It's muted, though.”

“That’s good. And this?” She used her knuckle that time, and again, the pressure was faint.

“Same. What's wrong with my arm?” he demanded, glaring first at her, then Shiro. “Why can’t I talk right?”

“Have patience -”

“No!” Keith yanked his arm away from her with far more effort than should have been required. “I'm out of patience! Tell me what's wrong!”

Shiro put a hand on Fallenta’s shoulder, nodded at her, then reached forward and took Keith’s hand. “When we found you…” He paused, his jaw clenching and eyes flicking away for a split second before he seemed to steel himself to continue. “Your heart had stopped. It’s impossible to say how long you had been like that. I was able to get it started again, but it took a few minutes. So your brain…” Drawing in a deep breath, he let it out in a sigh. “It was without oxygen for several minutes, at the least. Brain damage has been a concern from the very start. When I said you have no idea how relieved I am that you’re okay...it was possible that you wouldn’t ever wake up. Or if you did, that you wouldn’t be able to function at all.” An errant tear slipped out, and he dashed it away with his metal hand. “But you’re here. You’re awake, and you can speak and think and...and it’s gonna be okay. I promise, it’s gonna be okay.”

Brain damage? The words hit him like a blow to the chest. That meant his arm...his face...they weren’t just numb, they were...they were…

He ripped his hand from Shiro’s grip. “How can you say it's gonna be okay? Do you hear me? I soun’ stupid! An’ my arm...how’m I supposed to fight an’ fly if I can barely move my arm?”

“But you still have some movement and sensation,” Fallenta broke in. “That is very good news. It means that, with physical therapy, you can regain even more use. You can even have speech therapy to help you build up your facial muscles.”

“Speech therapy?” He almost laughed at that. “We’re in the middle of a war, we don’ have time for speech therapy!”

Shiro’s hand landed on his leg. “We’ll make it work, Keith.”

“No. No.” He shook his head harshly. “Get off. Get off me, I need...” Flailing his one good hand toward Shiro and Fallenta, he gritted his teeth against the tears that wanted to fall. The weight on either side of the bed moved as the two of them stood. “I need some air. I need...” Red, that’s what he needed. He reached for the corner of the blanket that covered his legs. “I’m gonna -”

“Keith, wait!”

Shiro and Hunk both lunged, but it was too late. He had already flipped the blanket to the side, revealing what lay underneath.

Or rather, what didn’t lay underneath.

He was gonna be sick.

His leg. It was…it was missing from the knee down.

Keith screamed.

The next minutes or hours were a blur of tears and pain in his chest and breaths that wouldn’t come. He vaguely recalled Shiro being in front of him, his lips moving but no sound coming out. He vaguely recalled thrashing and slamming his head into the wall behind him.

After that, though, the nothingness took back over.

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kaito-is-baby · 4 years

Note

I was wondering if you could do the s/o with sleep paralysis with the sdr2 cast like the dr1 ask. If not, completely understandable!

Of course I can! I love all of this sleep paralysis topic, sorry for being so slow btw, I'm just bad at not procrastinating, can't help it! Anyways, hope you like it~

The 2 part is here

DR2 CAST WITH AN S/O WHO HAS SLEEP PARALYSIS PART 1

Hajime Hinata

•This poor boy keeps seeing Izuru and all the weird things he did during the tragedy when he closes his eyes

•So he knows how it is to get zero sleep

•But he doesn't want you to suffer that, you doesn't deserve it

•He tries to make his bedroom the most peaceful place to be

•The most illuminated, clean and out of obstacles so it doesn't scare you out

•But that doesn't work, you keep seeing the same weird things on your paralysis

•He even throw a chair once because you saw a man standing once

•And he always hugs you and comforts you when you wake up

•None of his efforts really work but you know he is trying hard and that makes you feel so loved and happy

•Plus you know he understands you better than anyone else and you are very happy about it

Chiaki Nanami

•She doesn't really sleep

•She spends her whole night gaming

•And then kinda... sleeps in class

•So you two never really sleep together

•But you do stay in her house a lot of times

•And she watches you sleep while playing

•It's a great excuse to see your cute face sleeping

•So when you wake up from one of your paralysis she knows something is off

•And she asks you so you tell her about it

•And then she decides to try and notice when you are having one

•Afterall she doesn't sleep at all, she doesn't mind to look at you a little closer to wake you up

•And she realizes that your parpados move quite a lot while you are having a paralysis

•So she always wakes you up when she sees that

•And then cuddles with you until you fall asleep again

•Just to go back to her game after that

•And always keeping an eye of you

•An excuse to look at you even more while you sleep? She loves it!

Nagito Komaeda

•Oh, he has sleep paralysis too!

•And since he was very little

•He thinks it is like an omen or something

•Whenever he has one something good is about to happen

•And the worse it is the better it is the next thing

•You know because that's how luck works

•So you two have a lot of sleep paralysis

•And talk about them later

•Usually you just cuddle and talk about what you have seen until you fall asleep again

•And sometimes what you have seen is the same and it scares you so much

•Because that's too much to be a casuality

•And you can't help but to think that those spirits are actually real and not just a product of your subconscient

•"Don't worry, S/O, it is just my bad luck affecting us and making us see the same, It's statistically possible you just gotta have bad luck!"

•Well, if you think about it, he is right

•And who has worst luck than him? No one

• So you just hug him again and go back to sleep

Kazuichi Souda

•You were sleeping with him but it didn't stop you from those sleep paralysis

•You could see him next to you, using more than half of the bed

•But you couldn't move or call his name

•And then you started to see shadows and weird silhouettes get near you

•Nearer and nearer everytime

•Until one of them reached you and touched your face with his long nails

•And you woke up

•Screaming of course

•And then Souda is screaming too

•He was scared, very scared

•"What it is? What it is, S/O?!!"

•He is grabbing you, holding onto you trying to hide all of his fear

•You explain him then what happened

•”So... like a nightmare?"

•"It isn't exactly like a nightmare, because you are actually awake so you feel everything a lot more realistic and you really feel like it's here" you try to explain him

•"B... but... are those shadows real?"

•No, Kazu, they aren't

•He chills out after that

•Poor boy was totally ready to move to another house or even another country if those shadows were real

•And now, knowing it isn't real he can focus on you

•He knows it has to be horrible, he usually wakes up crying after a nightmare so he can't even imagine how horrible it has to be

•So he cuddles with you and caresses you all night

•And also suggest to keep the lights turn on

•Just in case... it helps you, you know?

•Yeah, sure, you aren't afraid at all, Kazuichi

•But you actually thank him for that

•He suggested it for himself but having the lights turned on help you

•You have much less terrifying paralysis this way

•Everything that can attack you looks less bad on the light

•And having Kazu holding onto you also helps to reduce your paralysis

•So you two decide to always have the lights turned on

•Not that he mind it, he has tried to convince you about it before knowing about your paralysis already, he isn't a big fan of darkness

•Actually he is very scared of darkness and didn't know how to tell you

•So he is glad this helps the two of you!

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu

•You had never had a sleep paralysis sleeping with him

•And you screamed when you woke up

•Well, you were scared so you had reasons to scream

•But know he is angry

•Someone woke him up and that makes him very very angry

•And then he realizes it's you, screaming, who woke him up

•That makes him even more angry

•And also worried

• Who or what dred to scare his beloved S/O?

•"What happened?! Is someone here?! Someone hurted you?! Someone tried to kidnap you?!"

•Okay, he is a little paranoid

•But he is the leader of the biggest yakuza clan, he is used to big problems so he gets on the worse easily

•You explain him the real problem as fast as you can so he calms down as soon as possible

•And he is relaxed

•Well, he is worried about you and gets that it is a horrible thing

•But he thought something a lot worse had happened

•So he hugs you and tries to reassure you

•But the one that has really been reassured is actually him

•Now you do manage to fall asleep on his arms

•And he waits until your breath gets heavier to try to sleep too

•He didn't want to sleep while you were scared

•But you are sleeping now and he has to get as many hours of sleep as he can or tomorrow he will be even more irritable than usually

Peko Pekoyama

•Again, you scream when you wake up

•And when you open your eyes you see your girlfriend with a sword in her hands

•Wow, she's fast

•"There's.... there's nothing..."

•She and Fuyuhiko are just as paranoids

•You try to explain her that it was just a sleep paralysis, like a nightmare but much worse

•And she gets it

•She just has to hold you and calm you to sleep

•You know she isn't the best with words or love gestures

•But she tries to cheer you up

•And being honest, seeing her with that sword just as soon as you woke up made you feel very vey safe

Ibuki Mioda

•You wake up very very disturbed

•You had just seen a girl next to you, sitting on Ibuki's lap

•So you are quite... scared

•And Ibuki wakes up with you

•She doesn't have a heavy sleep so she wakes up easily just with you moving a little

•And you explain her what happens

•She tries to cheer you up singing

•And sing you to sleep too

•But her voice is worse than the nightmares

•Not tha she's a bad singer, she is amazing

•She just... isn't very... relaxing to say

•And you know that If she keeps singing the neighbour's will probably call the police

•Because she is really loud

•So you just ask her to tell you about her day until you fall sleep again

•And then she talks while atroming your head until you fall sleep

•And you two discover that that's the best way for you to avoid having sleep paralysis

•Falling sleep in her arms while you listen to her day is the best way to keep you relaxed

Mikan Tsumiki

•She knows there are hundreds of ways to stop sleep paralysis

•But with medical proofs? Not so many

•She's the ultimate nurse so she really knows how to help stop them

•Have enough sleep, regular sleep patterns and being relaxed and comfortable going to sleep

•She can help you with all of that

•She steps an hour to go to bed so you have enough rest

•You two always sleep together since she knows about your paralysis so she will comprobar that you actually follow a sleep pattern

•And she tries to calm you and reassure you that nothing will happen while you sleep

•Caressing you, hugging you and being your personal teddy bear

•Of course with all of her usual shyness and clumness but it does help you feel better

•And if that doesn't stop your sleep paralysis then she knows the medicine that can help stop them

•She either prescribes you imipramine or clomipramine

•The point is that, however she manages to you do stop having those paralysis

•So go and thank your nurse girlfriend! She's definitely the best!

Did I write way too much for Kazuichi's one? Yes. Do I care? No, because I love him and he deserves all the love in this world

Well, I love how this came out too, the sleep paralysis S/O is a very good topic but I will cut it in two parts again so... wait a couple of days for the next one~ ♡ • Tenko can’t understand it either

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emiefaunwrites · 3 years

Note

Hi!! I have returned lmao! Been thinking about Takaaki and Taka’s relationship this time. This ask may not be Ishileon related, but it’s another nightmare comfort related one. Why do I keep thinking about nightmare comfort? Idk lol guess I’m a sucker for comforting words and characters being there for each other when they’re in need. I’m sure Takaaki was always the one to comfort Taka after he’s had a nightmare in the past. But maybe one night when Taka is home from Hope’s Peak for the summer, it’s Taka that does the comforting. Not sure what Takaaki’s nightmare would be though… maybe something similar to Leon’s but a little more frightening/intense? But Taka is there to give him a big ol hug and calm him down! Guess I’m kinda in the mood for a father son bonding moment haha. Sorry if these nightmare comfort related asks are too repetitive lol. If they are getting repetitive, please let me know! If you aren’t a fan of that one, there’s also this;

Taka tending to Takaaki’s injuries or the other way around

Heyyy!

I'm happy to have any ask (so long as I can fit it into my AU!) So ask whatever comes to mind! I'm happy to just get asked things!!

But yep. I think I gots me an idea. And pfft, you underestimate my ability to make ANYTHING have an Ishileon flavour if I wants. Not massively gonna do it here, but Leon will make a (kiiiiiinda) appearance.

Trigger warnings for nightmares, child abuse and murder underneath so please avoid if you need to.

So I hope this is okay! And thank you as always for your ask!

**********************

• As a police officer, Takaaki has seen some terrible things.

• As an Ishimaru, he's forced to see the most gruesome and upsetting cases that no one else will take.

• You name it, Takaaki has probably seen it.

• His colleagues don't care about him and so he's never given any time for counselling after them either.

• And as he's gotten older, when Taka moved away, he started having nightmares.

• Reliving cases in his mind, becoming the victim or the murderer.

• But he's a strong man. A proud man.

• And so he copes with them.

• But there are times when even the strongest need help.

• Taka and Leon are home from University one half term and are spending a few night with Takaaki.

• And it just so happens that Takaaki has just come off a tough child abuse / homicide case.

• It was rough, really really rough. One of the worst this year and hit just a little too close to home for Takaaki's liking.

• But he hasn't seen the boys in a couple of months and so can't let them see that he's bothered.

• They have a nice meal together, a nice catch up then all head to bed.

• As always, Takaaki falls asleep quick - the strain of his job always catching up to him.

• But tonight, there will be another nightmare.

• There's a small boy in the distance with a man beating him, hurling abuse at him.

• Suddenly Takaaki become the man and he's staring down at the broken figure of the boy - no longer breathing.

• He panics and does the only thing he can think to do - put him over his shoulder and run outside.

• In the dead of night, he runs through the streets and to the bridge - dropping the body over the side without a second thought.

• And as time seems to freeze, as he's staring at the falling boy, he recognises him instantly.

• And with the recognition, Taka opens his puffy, bloodshot eyes and screams.

• Takaaki shoots awake, covered in sweat, heart racing, tears in his eyes.

• God damn it. Not another dream where he replaces the children with his son.

• Well, there's no hope in getting back to sleep now so he throws a shirt on and steps outside...

• ...and comes face to face with his son, who's got his fast asleep boyfriend wrapped around him like a koala bear.

• It's an awkward moment - Takaaki hasn't seen Taka awake this late for a long time (especially not carrying another boy like that) and Taka can see the tear stains on his father's cheeks.

• 'Going for some water?'

• 'Y-yeah. That's right.'

• 'Okay. Give me a few minutes. I'll join you.'

Takaaki can only blink as Taka walks past him, heading towards his bedroom and skillfully opening the door without disturbing the sleeping boy in his arms.

• He briefly wonders how often this happens before coming to his senses and heading down to kitchen.

• Taka comes downstairs a few minutes later, smiling awkwardly at his father who's nursing a glass of water at the dining table.

• There's a tense silence as Taka fills the kettle and switches it on - neither man looking at the other until Taka breaks the silence.

• 'Leon has sleep paralysis.'

• Oh.

• Of course Takaaki has heard of this. He needs to know quite a lot as a policeman.

• But he wouldn't have expected someone as young and confident as Leon to suffer...

• 'He has good nights and bad nights, you know? On bad nights, we have to get away from the room, clear his head and get him back to sleep.'

• 'And that happened tonight?'

• 'Mm. Third night in a row.'

• 'I...I'm sorry.'

• Taka just shrugs, throwing him a sad smile as he puts something into his mug.

• 'It's worse for him, you know? He's the one that experiences it. Nothing that I feel will ever compare to his fear. I find the best thing I can do is be there for him, however he may need me. That's what you do with people you love.'

• There's a lump brewing in Takaaki's throat - when did his little boy get to be so grown up?

• Suddenly, there's a mug in front of him and the smell of hot chocolate wafts into Takaaki's face.

• He glances up at his son, who's smiling warmly and sadly down at his father before gently resting his hand on his shoulder.

• 'I'm here.'

• Takaaki bursts into tears - all the stress of work, the gruesome cases, the trauma of Taka's childhood, the loss of his wife.

• All of it finally becoming too much as he sobs into his son's chest.

• And Taka simply holds his father, lets him cry and apologise and talk for as long as he needs.

#kiyotaka ishimaru #takaaki ishimaru #leon kuwata #ishileon #ask request #yaysof11037 #tw: nightmares #tw: child abuse #tw: murder

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bonny-kookoo · 4 years

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Nightlight (PJM x Reader) 💜☁️⚠️🔞👹 Chapter 1

Pairing: Demon!Park Jimin x Reader

Genre: Demon!AU, Angst, Possibly triggering content, Fluff/Romance, smut

Warnings: graphic description of violence, panic attacks, graphic description of certain fears and phobias, nightmares, blood, insects, accidents, death, it’s kinda messed up really, mild stalking, demon jimminie be kinda creepy ngl, confused jimin, intercourse with a demon (duh), restriction of movement, sleep paralysis, slight somnophilia, big dick!Jimin but wbk, marking, biting, scratching, Dom!Jimin, Sub!Reader, y’all I’m gonna go to hell for this smh, more to add as the story progresses

Summary: The nightlight he once gave you with a smile always kept the nightly terrors of his pale and lifeless face at bay, giving you at least mild comfort in a time spend without his soothing touch. But when you’re admitted to the hospital due to an accident, there is no light to keep your thoughts safe from terror. Luckily for you, the demon responsible for your vacation between hand sanitizer and itchy sheets actually feels bad for once; and decides to help you out.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part ?

Watching the clock tick away as every second passed didn't seem like a good hobby- yet it had become your main source of distraction nowadays.

Every moment you'd look at the clock, eyes focused on the small pointer going round after round was a reminder that the world didn't stop spinning even for a moment. That the world didn't care about someone's misery or happiness.

At his funeral, the sun had been shining too. The weather had been disgustingly nice, making birds sing their songs of gratitude in their trees, and children run in their home's yards, laughing away, unknowing of the tragedy that befell you and him. You remembered how hot it had been, how angry you've been- how could the world just continue on without any form of sadness for him?

He wasn't supposed to die so soon. You both just moved in together into a small apartment he'd rented after his work had given him a promotion, talked about maybe adopting a cat together, and started to think about settling down. Yet destiny had been cruel, taking him away from you just because it could. It had been two horrible changes of seasons since the day you had to watch him get buried six foot deep.

And you haven't been the same since.

Barely talking at all, simply existing as you buried yourself under the covers of your once shared bed, desperately trying to hold onto every scent, every trace that he'd been alive, but soon enough his body was just a mere memory, fading away like the scent on his shirts you wore at night to keep you sane.

The nightlight he'd bought you to help you with your insomnia and nightly terrors helped you a little- it felt like a small glimpse of hope in the corner of your room, no matter how childish it may seemed to the people around you. You'd long cut ties with former friends anyways, not wanting to be seen by anyone anymore.

You just wanted to be left alone.

Tiredly walking towards the stairs to get yourself a glass of water, you failed to notice the figure standing in your kitchen, eyeing the furniture and unwashed dishes in the sink with not much interest. He studied your form, pale and sad, as you simply shoved the ceramic plates a bit to make space so you could fill your glass up, uncaring of anything.

He was interested.

Humans like you, so broken and consumed by tragedy most of the time had the most delicious dreams he could think of- the deeply scarring emotions drowning your soul in heart wrenching thoughts and visions. He truly loved these- even though he preferred dreams of fear and terror.

As he followed you upstairs, silently, something inside him made him raise his eyebrow. He stopped at your bedroom door, hesitant, as if something was holding him back. Memories of a young couple playfully fighting played in front of him, two lovers falling into the bed, getting tangled in the sheets with feelings of euphoria- and he suddenly found himself at your bedside, watching you.

Your eyes suddenly opened, as you saw a figure looming over you, dark and menacing, its presence making the room feel stuffy and tight, as you could only watch, not move. Your body was frozen, not reacting to anything you told it, as the figure stepped closer, hands slowly creeping around your neck, increasing pressure as you heard it sigh out in pleasure. You could feel your fingers start to tingle, oxygen unable to enter your lungs, before you could suddenly breath again.

The figure yelped as if burned, falling back and pushing down the clock from your bedside table, breaking the glass front of it. You finally got up, scrambling out of bed in a hurry, tripping over your charging cable for your phone, before you stared at the shadowy figure in your room, breathing heavily.

It was hunched over, gasping for air itself as you slowly found a speck of pity in your heart, making you reach out your hand, as if to prove yourself that it was real.

Everything after was a blur, scenes happening too quickly to comprehend them properly inside your head.

A Hand pushed against your chest, the body moving, forcing you to walk backwards until he pushed with another boost of force- successfully making the glass of your window shatter, your body flying out of it, right into the rosebushes beneath your window, planted by your landlady to 'brighten up the visual appearance of the complex'.

The only thing you remembered after that was the pain and the shadow, making you close your eyes.

"Miss, are you awake?" The nurse asked, soft voice making you open your eyes. "Welcome back miss. You took quite the fall. Good thing someone found you." She said, checking your vitals as you simply stared ahead.

You weren't dead.

It should be something good, it should please you to know that you survived, but instead, it made your mouth taste stale, and your throat clog up. The nurse carried on, leaving the room after a moment. You knew she didn't care. She was only doing her job.

A look to the side told you that it was late- only some lights of other rooms of the hospital lighting up the outside, curtains pulled shut. It was dark in your room.

Too dark.

Your breathing increased as the shadows started to morph into heads, animals, and monsters; anything your mind could come up with. You could feel the bile raising in your throat, sour taste on your tongue making you swallow desperately, head whipping from left to right to find something to light the room up, but finding nothing. Your whimpers seemed to echo inside the room, making you feel awfully pathetic as you could only watch as the monsters- dissipated?

They vanished as a gentle glow flooded the room, originating from a figure behind the hospital curtains, shadow showing a seemingly male figure clad in unknown robes. You swallowed.

"Ah, the daughter of eve fears the dark?" He sing-songed, almost mockingly as the curtains moved a bit with the fresh air flowing into the room. You stared at him or more like his silhouette, as you whispered in a wavering voice.

"What are you?"

He chuckled, a breathy sound that didn't feel threatening. "Ah, she is smart however. She knows I am of a different kind." He said, voice low and rumbly, yet with an almost feminine tune to it. It reminded you of your lover, in a sense- yet his voice sounded nothing like his at the same time. "I am the fourth son of Rosier, a former Angel now residing in what you humans call hell." He stated, as if he was simply telling you how nice the weather would be tomorrow. So if he was the son of a fallen angel, was he-

"So you're.. a demon?" You asked, voice still almost only a whisper. He chuckled at your voice.

"Not quite, but it serves as a good definition for your kind. My heritage is quite.. difficult to explain, I'll admit." He mumbled, moving his head a little to the side. You couldn't make out his features at all, the only thing serving as a hint to his physique being the light accentuating his shadow.

"Why.. why are you here?" You asked, and he moved his arms a little, the sound of fabric moving the only noise for a moment.

"Ah, you really are smart. I usually hear the question of what I desire from someone- yet there is not really anything a human could offer to me I could have use of." He said with a humored undertone. He continued as you stayed silent. "I believe there has been an.. incident that should not have happened, and I am the one at fault."

"So you came to.. apologize?"

He clapped his hands, making you jump a little. "My my, why do you sound so surprised?" He asked, voice growing a bit more hostile. "I am not an angel full of itself because of its purity. My kind may be known to be quite tumultuous and.. unconventional, yet we do have our standards and pride." He said, leaning against the wall next to the window.

"I see." You simply said, and he didn't answer for a moment. You felt like you were being watched, observed even. You cleared your throat before asking. "Why.. why did you, you know.. throw me?"

He sighed. "I was not born with a body like your kind is. I have to.. lend or take one for myself." He said, and you nodded, unknowing if he could see you properly. It seemed like he did, because he took your gesture as a silent way of telling him to continue. "I have only recently acquired this body. For your standards of time, at least.Your planet spins faster in a year than my own world would consider a full change of seasons." He said.

"So you.. know what happened to him? Like.. the body's actual owner, I mean."

Running a hand through his hair, he answered you, though with mild hesitation in his tone. “Sometimes.. memories remain. What we do with them is up to us.” He said lowly, his voice so familiar, yet also nothing like a voice you’ve heard before in your lifetime. "He left this world with quite a dramatic final, I admit. I do not know details, however. He is.. keeping them from me. Which is fair, considering I did take without asking." Whoever was hiding behind those hospital curtains made your head spin in confusion, as you tried to pin point what exactly was happening.

There was a demon in your hospital room. Not only that, but this demon was drowning the entire room in a soft and gentle glow, prohibiting the natural shadows of all the furniture and items placed on their respective spots to turn into terrifying monsters ready to haunt your time of rest and healing. But for some reason his presence made your blood flow calmly in your veins, soft noises from the opened window making your eyelids close.

You could feel him come closer, notice how the mattress dipped a bit where he leaned to loom over you. “Rest. I’ll keep them away from you.” He murmured, a cool hand touching your forehead as you drifted off, not being able to catch the confused and frustrated face of the demon who was watching you.

How strong must this man have felt for you if even after his death he harbored those emotions inside those veins he’d decided to possess and claim as his own? His soul has long left this body, yet it seemed like pieces of him still remained, forcing its claws between his will, and leading him down a path he'd rather not take.

Sitting on a bench, only light a streetlamp illuminating the park around you, you finally felt alone. It may sound like this should be an upsetting feeling, but after a week of constant hovering of others, nurses and patients alike, it finally felt like you could breathe again. That was, until you felt a presence behind you.

"Do not lift your gaze." He said, as he walked around the bench to sit beside you, the only visible thing now his shoes up to his thighs, decorative and expensive robes in silvery and dark colors, accentuated with thin golden patterns. You admittedly expected something more.. cliche. Like a black suit, maybe. "You have yet to recover fully." He murmured, crossing his legs before resting his arms on the backrest of the bench. "Why did you leave?" He questioned, referring to your decision to leave the hospital against doctors advice.

You fiddled with your fingers, before sighing. "I couldn't take the lies and masks around me." You said, and he hummed.

"Ah, yes." he chuckled before he continued. "That nurse was quite.. envious of your bodily features, I've noticed. And one of the male patients had been quite fond of you as well." He said, and you raised your eyebrows, scoffing. He looked down at you, amused. "What? My kind cannot lie, if it makes my words more trustful for you." He said, and you chuckled.

"Well.." You started, before stretching your legs a little bit in front of you. "I'm not much to look at." You said, and he clicked his tongue.

"Hm.. Who is speaking untruthful now?" He said with humor in his tone. "You are quite visually pleasing to look at, if I may say so. I cannot imagine what you may look like without the draining burden of sorrow and hurt." He spoke, a hand carefully tracing a stray strand of hair, before you chuckled. The sound was good, he decided. He would make you laugh more.

"Thank you." You said, and he simply hummed a reply.

It was quiet for a moment, before you told him your name. He, again, only hummed a wordless reply.

"I'm afraid I cannot give you mine in exchange." He said, and you nodded, understanding.

You didn't need it anyways.

He slowly started to become a regular guest at your home. You had started to move away your lover's things as summer passed outside your windows, trying to mend your broken self together piece by piece with the Demon's help here and there. He distracted you when things got overwhelming, spending time with you and keeping you in touch with the world outside your walls. You had also started to work again. A simple job at a restaurant, washing dishes, nothing special. But it paid the bills, and it gave you something to do during the day.

A distraction, if you will.

This time when you came home however, his eyes widened at how you immediately fell to your knees, crying desperate tears into your hands. He didn't ask what happened, simply walking over to you, putting a hand on your head- a gesture he'd learned during his time with humans, a simple touch that was meant to bring comfort. Yet it also helped him to look into your thoughts, and see the situation that had occurred during your day at work, making his blood buzz inside his veins.

He could see how you were working, not participating in the chatter of the cooks and waitresses around you, until they started to make fun of you. Calling you names, laughing about your job, your clothing, your stand in society he guessed. It all went as far as to the simple moment a waitress let a plate fall, giggling at your desperate try to catch it before it could hit the floor. She did it again and again, plate after plate, until a chef made her stop, chuckling himself as he led her away, leaving you to clean up the mess, and deal with the harsh words of your boss that night.

Carrying you upstairs he laid you down on your bed, pulling the sheets over your body before vanishing in a simply cloud of black smoke.

Oh, this would be fun.

He was getting quite hungry anyways.

He watched from afar, as the waitress in question walked past her bedroom window before shutting down the lights, most likely preparing for sleep. That was his moment.

Fear was an interesting thing to him. Not only because he fed off of it like most Demons did, but because he loved how fears told him almost everything he needed to know about a specific person. The simple instinct that tormented humans during their time of rest told him stories of their deepest desires and secrets-giving him all the power he needed to rule over them during the night.

But this time, he didn't care about that.

He'd observed her already, knowing how narcissistic she was. The small vanity full of expensive makeup showed him her insecurity of her visual image towards others- a truly childish fear in his opinion. Yet it did give him enough to play with already.

Diving into her sleep, she didn't notice his intentions at all, simply watching him as he'd sat down in the corner of her room, casually lounging in her chair placed on that spot. She smirked, as if he was her property, and he smiled back, yet with a vicious intend behind his eyes, hidden from her sight, her instincts clouded by her own desires. "Ah, jesus, haven't had a dream like that in a while." She said, getting up to sit on his lap, making him smirk at her. He knew the effect he had on humans- the body he'd chosen quite attractive already, yet his own natural aura enhanced its beauty even more, giving him a tempting charm. It worked on her just as well as it did on others, and maybe that was why he'd been hiding his face from your gaze all along. This young woman was.. basic in every way he could think of. Nothing about her peaked his interest as it did with you- a fact that should be worrying him. Yet he decided to eat first.

She started to rudely push her hands in between the fabric of his robes, making him grasp her wrists with a predatory grin. If she noticed that something was off, she didn't mention it, as she grew even more happy at the fact he was trying to control her. Humans were so fond and protective of their dreams, loving the way that they thought they had full control over everything that happened. It made nightmares the more terrifying for them. "Feisty. Love that." She murmured, and he placed his hand on her cheek, making her raise her eyebrows.

"Oh how ugly you are."

He sang with a voice playful and mocking, as she widened her eyes, trying to get off of him. "Ah-ah, where do you wanna go now? You chose your seat, yet now you want to take back your decision?" He said, gripping her waist as she gasped in pain, heart rate surely increasing as she began to sweat. His smile widened as his hands dug into her skin, surely leaving bruises as she whined out, not yet where he wanted her yet. "Feisty- love that." He mused impishly, his eyes slowly drowning in black, oozing out shadows as his pupils glowed a vibrant red, a fire behind them it seemed.

The young woman squirmed on his lap, desperation calling out to her in her veins, making her try and scratch him- yet instead of blood, she only found black ink on her hands, making her wipe them furiously as she noticed ants crawling up her legs. She began to breath heavily, eyes widening, as he laughed at her pathetic attempt to push away, his hand now gripping her jaw. "what do you think, whore?" He mused, voice distorted by an unknown force she didn't want to understand, her eyes leaking tears to no end as she realized how this was out of her control. "Ah, she is empty already. How boring." He said, letting her fall onto her back, coughing violently as she ran to her bedside table, trying to find something in it. Yet he was already behind her, forcing her body in front of her vanity mirror as he had her hair in his fist, forcefully pulling on it as if it was a handle to use, her eyes closed as she chanted to wake up. He laughed, before he spoke his words. "Look ahead, stupid child. Do you still think your disgusting words make you more appealing?" He said, as she opened her eyes;

waking up screaming louder than she'd ever did before.

With bruises ever so present.

The demon was in a good mood these days.

Maybe you just imagined things, but he felt more carefree around you, simply lounging on your couch as if he owned the place- and you didn't mind him doing that at all. He was nice company after all.

He joked around with you, asked you things, and seemed genuinely interested in you as a person; you felt as if you both got closer the more you conversed.

He noticed your dreams, yet never interfered to this night, as the nightlight broke in your room, darkness drowning your dreams in terror and war. You sobbed in your sleep, and his nonexistent heart clenched at the sight- the force inside his veins however didn't have anything to do with him joining your dreams, however. No, this was all his own decision this time.

Your dreams were.. a feast, to be exact. For him, it felt like he was at a buffet, ready to pack his plate until he was filled to the brim- yet the curled up form of your body, tormented by shadows and fiends, he sighed. He couldn't feed off of you. His own pride didn't allow it.

He considered you something humans called a 'friend', yet the desire he'd started to develop speaking different words, his own fantasies not so saint as yours.

But for now, he pushed these rabid thoughts away from his mind, crouching down next to you, embracing you into his arms for the first time, your sobs dying down as you noticed who it was shielding the darkness. Your hands grabbed onto the expensive looking fabrics he wore, trying to get even closer to him than you already were, while you calmed down, whispers and shouts around you slowly dying down, leaving nothing but comfortable white noise.

You slowly detached yourself from his form, eyes widening at the way he seemed to be emitting black smoke all around you two. Yet he also seemed to glow, just like he did back in your hospital room, a source of light without clear form. Just like a shadow, you knew what he looked like- yet you couldn't tell for sure. His face was completely blank, making you feel uneasy.

"You cannot dream of something you haven't seen yet." He said, voice low and humming, mildly distorted by some unknown force around you two. You nodded at that, his words making sense to you. Yet it made you feel a bit sad, knowing that you'll probably never see him either way. "Have you hoped to catch a glimpse of my features in your dreams, hm?" He playfully asked, brushing some hair away from your face, and you liked to imagine his face gentle and soft. "How sweet of you." He mused, before he leaned in, his features not distinguishable for your own eyes- it was as if you could see them, but forgot about them immediately. It hurt to know that you could see him, yet you couldn't hold onto the memory of it. Like your own mind was mocking you for not having the courage to go against his rule of not raising your gaze enough to study his face properly when you were awake.

Yet his kiss felt as real as it could get.

It was confident, knowing in the mere fact that you had developed feelings for the unknown being following you around these days, even though it seemed stupid to the both of you. It felt like you found something missing again, yet at the same time it was way too foreign to be something that had happened to you before. You were a shy being, way too gentle to ever find someone who would drown you in a kiss like this; fiery and demanding, yet also giving and utterly bewitching.

But didn't he say that you couldn't dream of something you haven't experienced before?

#bts #bts imagine #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts smut #park jimin #jimin smut #park jimin x reader #jimin x reader #jimin imagine #jimin

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wu-sisyphus-gang · 3 years

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Motion Sickness Chapter 68

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It was one of those old crush dreams. And I could tell it was a dream. It had Weiss in it and she was wearing her old Beacon era outfit so I knew it was fake. That it wasn't real. It put the dream in that odd category of semi-lucid.

I was dealing with the Boarbatusk in Ports's old classroom. I was using my old sword. I felt small as I fought it.

"Save that kid!" Weiss shouted down at me. It was disorientating like she was shouting through molasses. "Jaune, save him."

I turned away from where she was alone in the seats calling to me. There was this kid down in the pit with me. I couldn't make out his face. It was that kind of dream. Colors blurred and I slew the professor's Boarbatusk.

Instead of dissolving into ash it turned into a matted mess of worms and centipedes. They overran the kid who called out something as a centipede slid over his wrists and locked tight.

I took a step forward but my legs got wrapped up by one of the Grimm worms. It wrapped over my flesh and the slime it left behind stung me.

A centipede wrapped around both my wrists and locked tight. It looked at me. It made a smug, Grimm face at me.

I tried to scream as the bugs ran over my body.

I woke up trying to scream but it only came out as a meek groan. I couldn't move and my wrists and legs still burned where the bugs had touched me.

I was awake enough to know what I was going through. Sleep paralysis, they called it. I drooled on myself a little and couldn't shut my mouth as I lay in the cot they'd stuck me in.

I waited and eventually I was able to move again. I sat up. An orderly came by in the hospital. They had to check on us every thirty minutes just in case one of us tried to commit suicide. That was the kind of ward I was stuck in. It seriously sucked.

I stood up, tired of being watched from the doorway when the nurses came by. They hadn't taken my armor or my huntsman clothes. That told me that they wanted me comfortable. Just so long as I wasn't dangerous.

I was still dangerous. I had my gods damn semblance. Nothing could take that from me.

I striped the clothes off and hung it all next to the sink as I stepped into the in suite shower and washed myself down. I felt fucking disgusting and my dream had left me shaking. My wrists and legs burned still.

Sleep didn't even hit the same anymore.

I couldn't trust it. I couldn't trust in my mind while I rested. I wasn't allowed to rest. It fucking sucked. Plus they took my weed from me and I hadn't had the chance to talk to a doctor who could prescribe something real for me.

All I had was reality. Cold and sober even in the hot shower. At least Neo could bust me out anytime I wanted, basically. They'd taken my scroll too so I couldn't call her but she'd be around. I might just take her up on it, too.

They had me locked in this place. This hospital had us under watch from the doorways at all times even through the night so my rest wouldn't have been restful even if I didn't have the nightmares.

I scrubbed at my eyes hard and thought about the people I was doing this for. Ruby. Weiss. Yang. Blake. My old friends. I had to give this a try otherwise I was a coward. Otherwise I wanted to be sick.

I picked at the inside of my ear as I stood in the shower. I could feel things crawling around beneath my skin. The shower water pounded against the ground and with it came the whispering sound of Mother's voice.

“Come to me… lend me your strength…”

I shuddered.

“I have a favor to ask you, child. Run. Run away.”

I wanted to slam my head into the shower tile wall. I hosed myself off with the little soaps they'd provided me and tried to relax as best as I could. It wasn't working so great. I wanted to hurt myself. I wanted to smoke. I wanted to die. I wanted to see my friends.

My feelings were all bottled and mixed up into a hue of utter nothingness.

It was still fairly late and I was sure I wouldn't get any more sleep tonight. Nothing good would happen to my thoughts if I did. That was when she got me. While I was sleeping I was vulnerable to her.

I was so fucking unsafe and had been for a long time. A month or more. Ever since that day I'd murdered my own friends nothing had gone my way. The things I'd learned about myself only dragged me down.

I hated it. I hated being alive. For the thousandth time I cursed Merlot who'd doomed me to this existence without a care in the world. My creator… I would make him pay. He would suffer for bringing me into this world and dooming me to be tortured so. I could feel her fingers on the surface of my mind.

They were surgical and touched me so gently but they were there, digging deep into my thoughts like tentacles. It would feel so good to give in to them. It could be everything I ever wanted.

"Mr. Arc? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I called out to the nurse outside of the bathroom. "I'm the same as I've always been," I whispered in a quieter tone.

I could get through this. I was a hunter damnit. That meant something to me.

Does it?

The voice questioning me was my own. And it had a good point. All my dreams about being a hunter were fake. It was as fake as my name. It was given to me by an alien goddess.

She was working her way into me. She was breaking me down. I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep it up. It felt like water against a rock. Eventually it would erode. Except the rock was my mind. It was my psyche pit against hers.

"Can I get you anything Mr. Arc?"

"Something to help me relax and sleep?" I asked back.

"Just a moment." The male nurse walked away. He came back and placed a pill on a counter. "It's Clonazepam, just let it dissolve under your tongue. It should help with anxiety and sleep."

"Thanks," I breathed.

I stepped out of the shower and dried off. I savored the rough feel of the towel against my skin. The cloth was low quality and boy it felt good. I took the pill and let it dissolve under my tongue. It was incredibly sweet to the taste. I swallowed.

I immediately felt a little more relaxed but it was a bit more relaxed about being mind raped. There was only so much the drugs could do, surely. I was in it for real and I was in deep.

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"So tell me about what brings you in here Mr. Arc." My counselor was a woman. Middling height with brown hair and green eyes. She looked trustworthy. A strong jaw and high cheek bones made her classically good looking, too. She was maybe fifty, maybe a bit older. She didn’t have the good looks of a hunter, though.

Dr. Caulbaugh was her name. And after a short introduction I was supposed to share with her my deepest darkest secrets. It was necessary for this thing to work.

"The general didn't tell you anything?" I asked. We were locked alone in a room. If I so chose I could rip her in half. Probably not a good sign that I was thinking like that. But I was.

"No, he didn't. It's up to you what you share with me. But the more honest you can be the better we can make things for you." She smiled at me and picked a pen at the corner of her mouth. An actual pen as opposed to a data pad.

"And you work with hunters?" I asked.

"Primarily. My background is in trauma victims. The overlap, I think, would surprise you."

“Not really.” As far as trauma went hunters had to be up there. Between killing people and watching their friends die day in and day out there was a lot of trauma to be had. I maybe knew a thing or two about that. I nodded and flushed out my half cape in the chair. I swept it behind me."That's why you lot let me keep my armor and clothes."

"Hunters are more comfortable in their wear. And armor isn't exactly a threat." She smiled again, trying to disarm me. That's the real reason she let me keep my cloak, armor, and clothes. That's the real reason I wasn't in a gown.

I kept nodding anyway.

"Please, tell me about yourself, Mr. Arc."

"My father was a test tube and my 'mother,'" I gave the word quotation marks. "Was an incubator. I was created in a laboratory by a scientist named Merlot from the genetic material of a woman named Salem. My other mother."

"You're serious?" Her jaw dropped a little. It shouldn't have been outside the range of possibility. Especially in a technophilic place like Atlas.

I nodded again.

"Okay." She started writing.

"I'm biologically twenty but I'm chronological three or four."

"Oh my gods." She swore a little. She seemed a little shocked. I had been too, though. So there was that.

"Yeah. I joined Beacon academy when I was 'seventeen.' I was there when the academy went down. My partner was killed in the action. Her name was Pyrrha."

"Okay." She murmured scrawling at her clipboard.

"I killed for the first time maybe nine months after that. I just ripped this bandit in half."

"How many people have you killed?"

"I've lost count. Maybe a hundred. Maybe more," I confessed. "A lot of people."

"Okay. Alright." She kept writing frantically. "You're very young to have such a high body count."

"You've met other four year olds with a higher body count than me?" I laughed.

"N-no." She mumbled. She picked the pen at the corner of her mouth. A nervous habit, maybe.

"Sorry. Bad joke."

"No, please go on."

"I was there when Haven was attacked. A month ago or so. Not sure if you heard about it."

"I hadn't…"

"I'm sure some details are classified. But while I was there my Mother, Salem took control over my mind. She made me kill two of my friends."

"You mean, like with a semblance?"

"Kinda," I shrugged. "I bet details about my Mother are classified above top secret. I'm sure I can't share much with you."

"That's alright."

"And ever since then I've had tactile, visual, and auditory hallucinations. I hear her voice. I see shadows. I feel bugs crawling around in my face and in my eyes."

"I see. I see. Then what happened after Haven?"

"I found my 'father's' laboratory. That's where I learned the truth about me. I had fake memories, you see. Then I came here."

"From Mistral?"

"I snuck into the country. Report me."

"I'm not going to report you."

"I was so worried you would," I said facetiously. "So what do you think, doc? Do I have PTSD?"

"Almost certainly," she was still writing very quickly. "Mr. Arc you have quite the tale to tell."

"Do I make your list of top ten weirdest patients or what?"

"You just might." She laughed. "Have you ever tried to take your own life?"

"Just after I killed my friends at Haven I tried to kill myself."

"What happened?"

"Couldn't focus. My aura wouldn't let me." I squeezed a fist as I recalled the memory. I inhaled deeply and tried to relax like I was about to try it again now.

"I see. I want to run through some mood scales with you. Is that alright?"

"Sure." I shrugged. I had no idea what those were.

"Now I want you to tell me if you've experienced these things over the past month. If you've experienced it all of the days, most of the days, half of the days, a few of the days, or none of the days."

"Shoot."

"Feeling down, depressed or hopeless?" She asked.

"All of the days."

"Feeling like a failure, like you've let yourself down?" She went on.

"All of the days. My father classified me as a failure of an experiment, even."

"Feeling like you'd be better off dead or having thoughts of hurting yourself?" She was unrelenting.

"All of the days."

"Poor appetite or the reverse, over eating?"

"A few of the days."

"Poor sleep or the opposite, getting too much sleep?"

"All of the days."

"Which one?"

"I have nightmares from Mother. I can't sleep. I'm even afraid of sleeping. She gets me while I sleep."

She wrote notes on her clipboard. "How have you been sleeping since you arrived?"

"Poorly."

"Okay, I'll prescribe you something for that. Next scale. Moving too slow, to the point someone would have noticed or the opposite, being more fidgety than usual?"

"None of the days."

"Fear or worrying about a great many subjects?"

"All of the days."

"Well Mr. Arc…"

"What? Never had a mind controlled patient before?"

"I can't say that I have. It seems to me you don't believe I'll be able to treat you."

"That's because I'm not actually crazy. I have someone else in my head."

"I don't think you're crazy Mr. Arc. That's not what PTSD is. I'm going to get you started on some of our atypical antipsychotics. They'll help stabilize your mood and you should notice the effects immediately."

"Which one?"

"It's called Asenapine. Have you heard of it?" She asked.

"No." I shook my head. I hadn't heard of any of the medications. I was no expert. My brain was in this woman's hands. I had to just trust her.

"Well it should help stabilize you. I want to run a genetics test on you to see which medications you'll respond best to in the meantime."

"I'm willing to bet my genetics are classified."

"Because of your origin?"

"Yeah. Because of my creation."

"Well I'll see about getting through on those. In the meantime I'm keeping you on Clonazepam and Asenapine."

"And you think that'll help?"

"Well it's not an exact science but we should be able to find a medication combination that works for you," she returned.

"We'll see, doc. I'm told you're who I should talk to about being released. About getting my weapon back, too."

"You hunters are all about getting your weapons. You're not ready to leave here, Mr. Arc. I'm putting you in for a three day hold."

"Three days?"

"Three days minimum. It's my professional opinion that you need serious help. You don't need a weapon in your hands right now."

"I could be doing real serious good. I could be saving lives."

"You could also be taking them."

"That's the job. That's what hunters are for. Let alone what I am for. I was made to kill people. I think. I’m not sure."

"You mentioned your friends. What were their names?"

"Ren and Nora." She looked over her board at me, looking deadly serious.

"Unless you want there to be more like that you'll remain calm and go through the therapies I recommend."

"Very well."

"You still seem doubtful. That sort of obstinacy is counter productive to your treatment. A large part of it is your belief."

"I'm being mind controlled. There's no cure for that. And the things I am? Where I came from? That shit's permanent."

"This mind control event is where your psychosis started? It's why you resorted to marijuana?"

"Maybe. There might have been psychosis before.."

"Then let us help you Mr. Arc. This isn't forever. You'll be back out in the field. It's my firm belief that your stay here is temporary. Have faith in the treatments. I think we can make some serious progress with your psychosis."

"I agreed to this in the first place."

"Then have faith. You're not doomed, Mr. Arc."

pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq

-WG

#rwby #ff7 #ffvii #motion sickness #white rose #whiterose #white knight #whiteknight #lancaster #war of the roses #jaune arc #ruby rose x jaune arc x weiss schnee #cloud strife #cloud!jaune arc #sephiroth!jaune arc

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whothehellisyn · 3 years

Text

Cat and Mouse | Ch. 7

Series Masterlist

Rating: 18+

Pairing: Dark!Mysterio x Reader

Chapter Warnings: unreality, paranoia, wet dreams, minor gaslighting (moved objects), sleep paralysis

AN: you know the typical warnings, and we’re almost caught up to my current writing!

It’s been two weeks since Quentin left, and it’s been three days since you’ve slept. You can feel the exhaustion affecting your body and your mind, as you’re much clumsier now. Earlier you dropped a glass again, and just now you hip-checked the kitchen counter because you miscalculated how far you were from it.

“Fuck!” You groan, rubbing your hip. “God, I’m so fucking tired.”

“Maybe you’ll pass out eventually, and just collapse and force-sleep.” You say. It’s a hopeful thought. “Maybe if we’re lucky, it’ll happen later on tonight.” You nod to yourself and go back to perusing the kitchen for lunch.

“Damn, I need to go to the store soon.” You note, wondering if you should make a list. “Wait...” Oh yeah. You can’t do that.

“Is there enough for this week?” You ask. You start to do some mental calculations, counting up the cans and boxes.

“Maybe? If you’re careful.” You decide. “No more snacks, just the meals.”

Making conversation with yourself has become second nature now, and you don’t hesitate to ask yourself things that don’t matter. Over dinner, you explain to yourself wether you believe in fairies or not. You pretended to give a tutorial on cooking as you prepared your meal. You’ve started to feel more and more tired throughout the day, but in the middle of cleaning up your dishes it starts to really hit you.

Even as you wash your plate you can feel your eyes trying to close. Your body begins to settle into a sort of lull as the sink runs, the white noise is so comforting and soft...

The metallic clang of the plate slipping from your fingers and landing in the sink makes you jump, snapping awake.

“I’m way too tired to be handling breakable items.” You mumble. You know you have to shower before you try to get some sleep, but it’s so tempting to just go to bed dirty.

“Don’t be gross,” You chastise yourself, “You stink.”

You start the shower again and begin to get undressed. Just before you go to get into the shower, you hear the big metal door clanging shut. Wrapping a towel around yourself, you peek out of the bathroom and look for Quentin. Nobody is in the suite, but there’s brown paper bags on the kitchen table. You go to them and discover that they’re groceries, a mix of fresh foods and shelf items.

t occurs to you that this means you’re being punished for the long run. Then you start to think more about this delivery. Apart from your short bathroom breaks, this was the first time all day you’ve been out of the main area longer than a few minutes. How could he have known you needed food and also when you’d be occupied long enough to deliver food without you being able to see him?

You tighten the towel around your body and look around the tops of the walls. He’s got to be watching you somehow.

You search around for fifteen minutes before you realize you’ve left the water on.

“Shit, shit, shit!” You say, running to the bathroom. You feel the water and luckily it’s still warm. You shrug off the towel and rush to get clean. Hopefully he doesn’t have cameras in the bathroom.

Wether it was the grocery delivery or the shower, that sleepiness from earlier is gone much to your chagrin. You lie on the floor, on the verge of tears from frustration. God, you’re so fucking tired.

“I just want to sleep!” You whine, covering your eyes with your arm. “I don’t want to sleep in the bed.” You add, as if to stop yourself from suggesting it.

But maybe you have to, even if you don’t want to. You sit up quietly and sneak over to the bed to avoid your own will from realizing what you’re doing.

The bedsheets are so soft, have they always been? They don’t even smell like Quentin anymore, thank god for that. You use the blanket you’ve been sleeping with onto of the bedspread and curl up in the comfort of the mattress.

You don’t even remember falling asleep.

You dream that you’re in SHIELD headquarters and Peter Parker has dyed his hair green on accident. Director Fury’s eyepatch keeps changing eyes but he doesn’t seem to notice. He asks you if you’re allergic to tomatoes and that he wants to know because he just learned how to make spaghetti.

Your neighbor Madeline announces to the three of you that she is now the new head of SHIELD and puts Director Fury in a mason jar. You get put in a coffee mug and she makes Peter dye his hair purple before putting him in a Tupperware. Apparently Director Madison has a fascination with putting people in containers.

It starts storming inside the headquarters, and little fishes and seaweeds drop from the clouds and onto everyone. “It’s a hurricane!” Director Fury yells, dumping you out of the mug. “We have to take cover.”

You obey, and hide next to Peter Parker underneath a desk. He has an octopus on his head, but you try not to stare. He’s about to tell you something when–

You wake up still exhausted, but feeling much better than before. What a weird dream.

You half expected Quentin to be in bed next to you, but you’re still alone. You go to unpack the groceries from last night but they’re already put away. Another quiet visit.

“That’s kinda of rude, don’t you think?” You ask.

“Personally I think it’s incredibly fucking rude, but what do I know?” You reply.

“No, no,I definitely agree with you.” You say, opening the fridge to look for where everything has been put. “Especially because butter,” you grab a knob out of the box, “goes outside the fridge!” You tear off the paper and drop it onto a plate.

“Of course he’d put all the butter in the fridge, the fucking bastard.” You say jokingly. “He’s the exact type to not understand the needs of butter.”

You chuckle for a few seconds before you go quiet. You’re really laughing at something you told yourself, huh? That’s not what normal people do. Maybe you’re going crazy.

“You’re not crazy, dumbass.” You say in an obvious tone. “Social conventions are bullshit, everyone talks to themselves at least a little.”

You feel the need to add to your defense, “At least you’re not seeing stuff.”

Two more days pass and you start to feel more paranoid about the surveillance that surely is required for these quiet visits of Quentin’s. You’ve also been incredibly bored and anxious to do literally anything since day three, and now you’re getting tired of talking to yourself. Which is pretty fucking bad because you don’t have have anybody else at this point.

You’re eating a bowl of soup for lunch when you notice the bathroom door is closed. That’s weird, you think. it was definitely open a few seconds ago, you just came from the bathroom not ten minutes before. Setting the bowl down on the kitchen counter, you approach the bathroom door and let it swing open.

The bathroom is empty. You were certain you hadn’t closed it, but maybe you did and just didn’t realize it. The days all blend together now anyways, it’s not unreasonable to have done it without noticing.

You go back to your soup, picking it up off the table where you left it.

But you didn’t leave it there. You left it on the counter, didn’t you?

The metal door hasn’t opened since the groceries were delivered and put away last week. You’re certain of it. You even started showering with the bathroom door open so you’d be able to hear it.

You abandon the soup and start opening up cabinets. You open up every single cupboard, the pantry, the linen closet in the bathroom, you even open up all the drawers. You tuck the bed skirt up under the mattress so you can see under the bed. You find nothing but...

Something is in here with you. You don’t know if it’s Quentin, or a drone, or both, but there’s no fucking way you would think you placed the bowl on the counter unless you really did. You’re not sure how to proceed with this information.

You go to put the leftover soup in the fridge, and on the middle shelf at your eye-level is the plate with the butter on it. You calmly take it out and place it back on the counter.

“Like I said, a fucking bastard.” You say quietly.

You crawl into bed that night wary of your surroundings. Nothing has been moved since lunch, but you can’t shake the feeling that something else has changed. It’s something unconscious, you think. Like if the walls were suddenly two shades lighter than they were yesterday. There’s no way for you to prove something is different but you can sense it all the same.

You get underneath your trusty blanket and lie in the darkness. You want to fall asleep, even if it means that whatever is in here has the chance to do something. You can dream if you sleep, you can go be somewhere else and “talk” to people.

You are dreaming, but it’s a sea of images and sounds and sights. It feels like home and nowhere simultaneously, which was fine. You feel something crawling all over you, and when you look down, your body is covered in thick vines that have wrapped around your limbs.

You wake up flailing, inches down the bed from where you fell asleep. The covers are thrown off, your pajamas slouching down towards your left foot as if something had grabbed it to yank you off the bed.

These sort of peripheral out-of-sight visuals continue. Sometimes you feel breath on the back of your neck that belongs to no one, or feel the looming presence of a person inches away from you until you turn around to face an empty room. You know he has illusion technology, you know it must be him, but it feels so small and minuscule compared to what he’d usually do.

Maybe he’s trying to make you feel crazy, so you’ll run into his arms afraid you’re insane. Maybe you’re trying to make you feel crazy, accidentally.

You sleep again, this time waking up to sleep paralysis. You’ve never had it before now, at least that you can remember. You had dreamt of a weight on your chest, and something choking you with just enough pressure to make you lightheaded. You hallucinate that a rotting corpse is straddling and strangling you as you lie immobile, and when the paralysis leaves you you sob with relief.

Days melt again and sleep comes rarely. The times you do fall asleep you’re always jarred awake, that feeling of falling taking over. You fall asleep anxiously, your heart pounding slowly as if it’s preparing itself for more terror.

You step out of the shower one morning and in passing notice your obscured reflection in the bathroom mirror. Full of steam, your body is a blurry mass of flesh tone within its confines, but what catches your eye is a large, dark object directly behind you.

Breathing shallowly, you pick up a hand towel and slowly make your way to the surface of the mirror, before swiping quickly as if it startle the thing behind you first.

As you swipe away the steam, the visage disappears instantaneously. Whatever was behind you is no more. Paranoia begins to rear its head.

The night terrors and sleep paralysis are awful, the peripheral hallucinations as well, but nothing mentally prepares you for the dream you have.

It’s easy to write off the rest of these moments as Quentin’s doing, after all, he’s a master manipulator.

You’re running through the maze again. It’s still as dimly lit and damp as it was the day he forced you through it, but this time something has changed within you.

Quentin catches you with ease, just like last time. But when he grins, you grin back and catch his lips with a very open kiss, tongues working into each others’ mouths. You wanted him to catch you.

His Mysterio clones pin you to the wall and you moan, legs opening wide for the Quentin as they grab your arms. You’re not wearing panties, and Quentin groans approvingly as he kneels on the ground and buries his face in your sex, hiking your gown up past your hips. He rips the side seams, leaving you naked before the three men. The clones, rid of their helmets, bite at your neck and take turns kissing you messily.

Everywhere you look, everything you feel, is Quentin Beck. The two clones lean to kiss you at the same time, Quentin fucking you with his tongue as he eats you out. You get close and closer to climaxing when he pulls away suddenly and looks up at you, dragging his tongue against your clitoris torturingly slow.

“Fuck, please,” you gasped. “Please, I don’t want to cum yet.” Quentin slows his pace even more, his tongue hot and wet against you. The mysterios begin to tease your nipples with their fingers as they suck on your neck, one dipping down to use his mouth. You whine and squirm against them and the pleasure.

“I want you to fuck me, please.” You beg, stomach tightening from the impending orgasm.

Almost excitedly, Quentin pulls back and tugs his suit off, though his clones haven’t stopped their pace at all as if to keep you on edge. They’ve raised you further up the wall, Quentin nestling between your legs like he was made to be there.

He pushes into you and your entire body thrums with how good it feels. How good he feels.

“Fuck, you feel so fucking good sweetheart.” He groans. He sets an unrelenting pace, quick and hard.

You’ve devolved into a series of pleases and fucks and yeses, alternating between those words as he rubs your clit with one hand and grabs your hip with the other. His clones are whispering things to you, Quentin too.

“You gorgeous little thing, you’re ours and nobody else’s.” one says. “You’re such a good girl for us, sweetheart.”

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard they’ll have to carry you back, all fucked out from my cock.” Quentin says, “You’d like that, wouldn’t you baby?”

You nod, your entire body stimulated from the three of them. It would feel good to be spoiled that way, to be carried back and tucked in and away from everything else.

Quentin’s breathing has become ragged, his head resting in the crook of your neck as he thrusts harder and harder into you until he cums, your own orgasm following suit as the feeling of his release inside you pushes you over the edge.

You wake up sweating, underwear damp and proof of what had just transpired.

The one place Quentin couldn’t hurt you, and there he was, fucking you inside it. A wet dream to betray your hatred.

You know it’s impossible for him to know what just happened but you still feel ashamed and confused.

The shower water is hot, borderline unbearable, and you roughly wash your arousal out of yourself with your fingers. It did not happen. It couldn’t have happened. It will not have happened.

Various excerpts of the four of you play in your head every idle moment you afford your brain. It lurks behind every thought you process as if to remind you that it came from within your mind.

You push it away as much as you can, try to ignore the sinking feeling. Somewhere Carl Jung is preaching to a dead choir about wish fulfillment. Plenty of people have dreams about the things that happen to them, and it gets jumbled up and spit back out in their sleep as something contorted and wrong. You’re just processing the awfulness of this all, that’s all. Your brain is trying to make sense of this betrayal in the only way it knows how.

But it also makes sense considering what you and Quentin were, before. You can still remember how soft the first kiss between you two was, something tentative and sweet. He cupped your face that first time, stroking your cheek with his thumb like he was trying to remind himself you were real.

You’d fallen asleep in his arms, once. There was even an inkling of a future with him in your mind. Maybe that’s why you lash out so much. It’s true that what he has done is evil, but to be truthful you’re more scared and disgusted by yourself.

After everything, part of you wants to love him, the real him. Because he has to be in there somewhere, doesn’t he? You want to salvage this awful, terrible thing even after he tortured you. You wonder what there is to say about it. Perhaps it’s just you clinging to what little reality there is left, even if that reality is a false one.

The water has run cold. You turn the knobs to shut off the flow and wrap yourself in a towel. There’s a lot to think about. You dress silently, and say nothing as you stare at the television for a while.

“I’m not sure how much of this isolation I can take.” You whisper suddenly. “We’ve gone full to circle to having… that sort of dream after everything that’s occurred.” You say even quieter, “What if I’m starting to need someone?”

You look up from your seat on the bed at the television. “I think you’ll be okay.” You try to say reassuringly. “The nightmares aren’t so bad that you can’t sleep afterwards, you still have an appetite...” You trail off.

You nod, and bite your lip as tears start to fall. You have those things, for now. But even trying to be hopeful about things working out somehow just hurts in the end.

#cat and mouse

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usermischief · 3 years

Text

https://austin-mahones.tumblr.com/post/169735741007/one-month-of-teen-wolf-day-15

https://richietozsier.tumblr.com/post/77840315249/pancuronium-bromide-it-causes-respiratory

https://darren-criss.tumblr.com/post/88886681727/teen-wolf-rewatch-3x20

I love how utterly detached and unimpressed Stiles is with Morrell. Honey, Stiles locked himself up in a supernatural prison/mental institution and routinely risks his own life to save his friends and everyone else. He’s fully committed to sacrifice himself to save everyone.

Morrell exploited Stiles’ guilt in the group therapy session so that he would be more vulnerable and amiable to letting himself be killed later on before Void Stiles and the Nogitsune take over, she gave a sleep deprived, neurodivergent boy with ADHD amphetamines to keep him awake, threatened to kill Stiles with a lethal injection, and basically told Stiles that he better keep feeling guilty because the Nemeton and the Nogitsune chose him.

And Stiles is literally “You done? I’m kinda busy fighting the Dark Kitsune who has taken a shine to me and maintaining the balance. Thanks for the victim blaming and illicit drugs, though.”

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Stiles is a natural born leader and a magnificent Emissary without even fucking trying

———–

mischief: Okay, okay, okay, but I love Morrell. I especially love about her that she doesn’t give any shits either. Of course, it’s wrong that Stiles got the illicit drugs, but they’ve established that the nogitsune would take over once he falls asleep. Which happened. Once Stiles was sedated and locked in that white room, Void got its power back and controlled Oliver and overpowered Stiles. Even if Stiles didn’t have ADHD giving people drugs without a thorough examination is a terrible idea. Amphetamines are dangerous. Insomnia is dangerous. We all know that.

Okay, this got a bit longer, so here you go.

But the thing is, Morrell isn’t written to be good or bad. She’s written to be neutral. She’s written to be committed to the balance — and that’s what she does (& would’ve done if JD & Co. didn’t forget about her by the next episode). She cares about Stiles enough to give him a chance; hence the drugs. Morrell acts like I imagined the druids would act, especially since she’s always been about the balance unlike Deaton.

MORRELL: It’s called a Lichtenberg figure– they appear on lightning strike victims. The fact that they’re appearing on you after a shot of wolf-lichen is both significant and strange. STILES: By “significant and strange,” do you mean “hopeful and optimistic?” MORRELL: When the marks fade, the Nogitsune’s grip will return. STILES: What are these? Sleeping pills? MORRELL: Amphetamines. Sleeping is exactly what you don’t want to do. You’re vulnerable when you’re asleep. STILES: So, all I have to do is stay awake? MORRELL: For now. If your friends haven’t figured out something by the time those marks are gone, I’ll come find you. STILES: To tell me what to do? MORRELL: No… To give you an injection. MORRELL: Pancuronium bromide. It causes respiratory paralysis. STILES: That sounds a lot like death…

She could’ve “lured” him into her office and simply killed him because she didn’t want to risk the nogitsune breaking free again. But she didn’t. She looked at Stiles and thought, “this kid might be able to handle this”. That’s why she gave him the drugs. She gave him this chance, and she told him “if you mess it up, I’ll be there to fix this”. Morrell saw potential and strength, and it was a gamble, imo. She even warns him by telling him that sleeping is what’s gonna make him vulnerable to the nogitsune’s influence again. Stiles didn’t know that, and he was more or less lucky that he couldn’t sleep the night before. But again, she’s giving him and his friends a chance to save him.

And I don’t see the conversation about “guilt” as victim blaming at all.

MORRELL: I want to go back to the topic of guilt today. It might surprise you to hear me say that guilt is a good thing– it’s a rather mature emotion. Malia, you said something about guilt the other day. You said it came with a visceral reaction. MALIA: I said it made me feel sick to my stomach… MORRELL: Guilt often becomes physical. You feel it in your gut. It’s not just psychological. How does guilt make you feel, Stiles? STILES: I’m sorry, what? MORRELL: Guilt– what does it make you feel? STILES: Nervous… MORRELL: Like a sense of urgency? You feel an urgent need to make up for something you’ve done. To apologize. These are healthy responses. Does anyone know what we call someone who doesn’t experience guilt? OLIVER: Sociopath? MORRELL: That’s right, Oliver.[She sees the Lichtenberg figure]I’m sorry, everyone, but we need to take a break. Come with me, Stiles. I’d like to talk to you for a minute.

That’s the conversation about guilt they’re having. She says that a) they have spoken about guilt before, and she’s not just starting this conversation because Stiles is around, and b) she makes a point that guilt isn’t something to be ashamed of, that it’s normal and healthy to experience guilt. She never even mentioned the nogitsune or the nemeton. Of course, you can have a completely different opinion on that matter, but I personally don’t see any victim blaming here. She doesn’t even single Stiles out. Yes, she asks Stiles how guilt makes him feel because he’s the new kid, but she only does so after she stated how somebody else reacts to guilt. She only singles Stiles out after she spotted the Lichtenberg figure on Stiles’ shoulder.

Plus, she let him run free as well. She could’ve just as well tell an orderly to lock him in a room. But she didn’t do that either. Again, she did it so Stiles could have a chance to fight against his possession.

I loved all their scenes together, and I never got the impression that Morrell was talking down to someone or was victim blaming anyone. She always did what she thought would be right for the balance, that’s why she went against Deucalion in the end because her loyalty to the balance was stronger than her loyalty to the Alpha Pack. The same happened in this scene. While she was ready to give Stiles a chance and help him (as much as she could by giving him drugs to stay awake). But in the end, she would kill him because, again, she’s takes her job to maintain the balance seriously.

TLDR, I really enjoyed Morrell’s character, and I wish she would’ve gotten more screentime. Also, I would’ve really enjoyed her becoming Stiles’ teacher. A badass character teaching another badass character. Give me all of it.

#this is my opinion #you are free to disagree #:D #answered #submission

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emmy-writes-sometimes · 4 years

Text

Lullabies

A bad mission leaves you unable to sleep. Luckily, you’re not the only one awake in the compound.

“Alright, I’m out!” You said loudly, standing up from the couch. The others in the room, Nat, Clint, and Wanda, were all arguing over an episode of Forensic Files. They all acknowledged you as you stood up. Tonight was their intervention, after all. It was the first time you’d been social since the big mission incident happened.

“Promise me you’ll sleep tonight!” Nat called out. You walked into the kitchen, not expecting to see Steve filling up his gigantic water bottle. He was a friend, a good one, but you hadn’t spoken much since it happened. You just felt like you let him down, and it was the last thing you wanted to do.

You’d been on your own until Tony, your dad’s best friend from childhood, took you in, gave you a serum when your heart threatened to be the cause of your death, and gave you a kickass suit to go with it. And then you were almost an Avenger, but not quite. You were grateful, really – it gave you some of the best friends you’d ever had. Nat was like a mom to you, and Tony was the closest thing you had to a father. You’d been there for six months until the dreaded mission last week.

You’d been the only survivor out of your team of five. You’d been tortured, in every way possible. You were so shaken up that you barely slept for the past week. The bruises weren’t fading. Neither were the memories, and it left you completely unable to sleep, much less do anything but lay in bed and feel guilty for surviving. Nat had finally drawn you out of your room with Chinese food and everyone else had joined until you were all arguing over the ICBY murders.

“Good night, Y/n,” Steve said with a little smile. His smiles were always warm. He was sweet – you considered him a friend, even though most of your conversations were light-hearted.

“Good night, Steve,” you replied with a smile. You walked into your room and got in bed. And you tried to sleep. This time, for whatever reason, it came. Maybe it was because you could hear everyone else in the living room and it was comforting. It helped you to understand that you weren’t alone anymore.

Sleep paralysis had been taking over every time you closed your eyes, and this time was no exception. Tonight it was the bad guy, staring down at you with a gun in one hand and gauntlet in the other. And you tried to scream for anyone who was awake still, it was so real and you couldn’t move your body, but nobody came. Maybe it was because it was late. Maybe it was because you weren’t really screaming, but you couldn’t take it. You woke up gasping, your throat sore, tears streaming down your face. It felt like you were being strangled again. You turned your body toward the air conditioner to get a clear breath.

“Shit,” you murmured. It was 2:26 AM. You felt like you were suffocating, and without even taking your phone, you slipped out of your room and let it lock behind you. The hallway was dark, the only lights coming from the floor-to ceiling windowed view of the city, and it was calming. It was cool, too, Tony always kept the building freezing cold. One of the back lights in the kitchen was on, and you sighed. There was only one thing that could make you feel better. When you were a kid your mother always made chocolate chip cookies when you were upset. She’d hand them over to you, warm and gooey, and you would eat as many as you could until it knocked you out.

So you got a pan out as quietly as you could and searched in the fridge until you found your secret stash of cookies. You resisted to eat the dough and set them on the pan, heating the oven and setting them in. You always took them out before they were done anyway, so it didn’t matter.

“FRIDAY, play the Office in the living room and set a timer for cookies.” The corner of the room glowed in response.

“Hey!” A familiar New York accent knocked you out of your daze as you heard the theme song start playing. It was Steve. You quickly ran in.

“I’m sorry!” You exclaimed. “I had no idea anyone was in here, I thought everyone was asleep.” He was half asleep, still, but he smiled.

“I did too,” he answered dryly.

“No, I’m sorry. What were you watching?” You took a seat on the couch, all the way across from Steve.

“Honestly? 60 Minutes.” You let out a laugh.

“Of course you would, old man.”

“I’m not that old.”

“You’re a hundred years old.”

“I’m not!” He tried to say. But he sighed. “What are we watching?”

“The Office. Everyone in my generation thinks it’s comedic gold. I do, too. It makes me feel better when sleep paralysis wakes me up.” You were freezing. You wish you had taken a blanket with you, or grabbed the one that was sitting by Steve. Steve could see that you were cold, too. He could see the chill bumps on your skin in the dark. He could see the dried tears on your face and decided he should probably have a little more conversation with you before bringing that up.

“So, uh, what’s it about?”

“An office.” Steve chuckled at how dumb he was.

“Yeah, I should’ve realized that.”

“It’s about a paper company. You might hate it. It’s weird humor, honestly.”

“Yeah, well, I might like it too.” He grinned. Whenever he did that, you couldn’t help but do the same. It was contagious. His optimism, even after everything, and his faith in the world made you want to be more like him. And he and Bucky were the only ones who could possibly know what you went through with the serum. Not to mention he was gorgeous. He had the perfect hair, perfect teeth. He was twice your size and for some reason you wanted him to crush you. He was a giant teddy bear. He was a sweetheart, but he always said what was on his mind. He wouldn’t lie to you. He had no reason to.

“Y/n,” FRIDAY caught your attention, “your cookies are almost done.” You jumped a little bit. Steve must have noticed how jumpy you were, and it made him a little upset. Why didn’t you feel safe?

“Cookies?” He asked. You got up – the oven had an auto shut-off for when they were done, and by the time you got over there you just grabbed a random dish towel to take them out of the oven with. You slid them onto a paper plate, took paper towels as napkins, and brought them back to the living room.

“Did you wake up in the middle of the night to make cookies?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. He sat up slightly, motioning for you to sit beside him. You were a little nervous, just because he was him, even though you’d done it in countless meetings or when everyone was piled into the room. But this was different. You were alone.

“No,” you admitted. “My mom used to make them whenever I woke up in the middle of the night. I used to have really bad nightmares.”

“Did, or still do?” It slipped out of his mouth before he knew what he was saying. “Sorry.” You took a cookie from the plate and started eating. They were the most comfort you had in a long time. Or maybe it was Steve, or a mix of both.

“Still do. I just can’t go back to sleep after,” you answered. “You can have one.” He smiled and took one from the top of the plate.

“I can’t either. Back before I went into the ice they never really had a word for how you felt when you’d come back from war or a car accident or anything you felt like you shouldn’t survive. Now they do, and it’s almost as bad as not having a word at all.”

“I’m used to it now. It just makes me mad that it affected me this much.”

“Yeah, it does me too. But you know, kid, my door’s always open. You can always come talk to me. I get it.”

“We’re talking now, aren’t we?” You eyed the blanket. Even with the warm cookies you were eating, you still felt cold. “Can you hand me the blanket?”

“Yeah, of course.” He passed you the fluffy blue blanket that you were pretty sure Clint had brought in and never taken back. You wrapped it over yourself, leaning back on the couch. “I don’t know what you went through back there, but…”

“I haven’t even told Tony. The only people that know are me and Fury and Nat.” Steve nodded, looking down.

“Why not?”

“Because that makes it feel real.” Thinking about that night just made your skin crawl and it made you almost start crying. “Everyone wants to know and if I tell them then they’ll just feel sorry for me. I set myself up for that, for all of this. I told them I could handle it, but…”

“You’re handling it,” he interrupted. “Trust me. TV and cookies is way better than the way I used to handle things.” You sighed.

“I’m sorry I’m dumping on you. And I changed your TV. You probably came out here to be alone and I just…”

“Shut up, Y/n. I like spending time with you. And I like that you brought me cookies when you didn’t have to share them. I’m glad I’m not the only one awake in the middle of the night.” You felt a little better. He wouldn’t lie to you. He wasn’t like that. What you wanted, more than anything, was just to curl up next to him. You needed human contact and suddenly you needed him. You realized that you didn’t feel safe because of the cookies or the TV. You felt safe because Steve was there.

“Do you come out here every night?” You asked, trying to change the subject a little.

“Pretty much. Sometimes I’ll go to the gym. But sitting here feels much better than punching things. Sitting with you, I should say.” He gave you a small smile, hoping that it would be returned.

“You’re lying.”

“No. I’m not. Can I tell you somethin’?” You nodded. “When they said there was only one survivor, I was hoping it was you. Not that I wanted everyone to die, I just… I couldn’t take seeing you, dead, because you don’t deserve that. And I didn’t want to not get the chance to tell you how I feel about you. Even if it is kinda stupid.”

“What do you mean?” You couldn’t see very much in the darkness of the room, since the credits were playing, but you could see a faint look of something in his eyes that reminded you of home.

“I mean I care about you. More than I should. It’s dangerous, I know that. It can get you killed, I know that. I don’t expect anything in return, especially not from you, but… I really like you. You’re smart and funny and you’re so good at what you do, even when it doesn’t look like it.”

You sat up, throwing the blanket aside, and walked over to him. You were so close to him that you could smell his breath. Cookies. You wrapped your arms around him, nearly bursting into tears because of the sheer amount of time you’d gone without anyone saying they cared about you. You were happy because somebody cared about you this much.

“I like you too,” you said. He hugged you tightly, so tightly that you thought you might burst even though you had the same amount of strength as he did. He rubbed your back up and down for a minute, sighing against you, and ran a hand through your hair.

“I’m not worth cryin’ over, doll,” he pointed out.

“I’m a crybaby.” He laughed softly. It was as warm and comforting and safe as the chocolate chip cookies you’d made. You finally let him go, even though it was only to cuddle up against him. You offered some of the blanket to him and he took it, leaning down. He eventually moved until you were right beside him, holding you so you wouldn’t fall off the couch.

“So what do you say we get some coffee tomorrow morning?” He asked.

“I’d like that.”

“Good.” You must have fallen asleep with him, because you woke up the next morning in the same place, muscles sore, and the blanket had been kicked off of you. He woke up at the same time and just smiled down at you.

“I should probably go take a shower. If you still want coffee, that is,” you said.

“Yeah. I’ll meet you back here in an hour.” You pulled yourself away from him, standing up, and sighed. “I’ll put the cookies up, don’t worry about it.”

“Thank you,” you responded. He smiled at you and started cleaning up the couch area. You walked into the hallway, about to head to your room, but lo and behold, Wanda was standing there with a grin on her face. “What?”

“You spent the night with Steve. Didn’t you?” She asked.

“Not like that. We just both fell asleep. And now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get ready for our date.”

“You’re dating?”

“Shh, not yet, just… We talked most of the night.” She smiled.

“He’ll be good for you.” You scoffed and typed the code into the pad to get into your room. Once you did a fingerprint scan, the door flew open. You certainly hoped he would be good for you, because last night was the first time you’d slept in what felt like forever. He was a better lullaby than the chocolate chip cookies, that was for sure.

A/N: I hope you like this! I loved writing it.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fluff

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