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wystericwoes · 6 months

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“Pretty boy”

Inumaki Toge x reader

Fluff

Warnings: slight cursing

"You just don't understand Maki!"

You dramatically entered your room, putting your belongings on the floor and tossing yourself on the bed as she rested her weapon against the wall, crossing her arms and raising a suspicious brow at you.

You stared up at your dismal ceiling. Letting out a long sigh.

"He's just so pretty."

She observed you curiously as you thrashed around your bed.

"Maybe if you finally talked to him rather than hoping he'll magically become a mind reader-"

You tossed a pillow at her which she easily caught.

"I don't want him to become a mind reader, I just want him to like me and tell me!"

"But without him knowing you like him first? Yeah, because expecting him to make the first move is always the best thing to do.”

she adjusted her glasses and tossed the pillow back to you which you roughly caught and placed back.

You leaned against the wall and pulled your legs up to yourself, resting your chin on your knees.

"You don't get it, if I confess and he doesn't like me, I lose him."

"You're not going to 'lose him' from a confession. It takes more than that to scare him away sadly. We're all stuck together after all."

"Exactly!" You sat upright.

Maki rolled her eyes as you rambled.

"He'll get sick of me, having to see my face in class every day, every mission, all the time."

"You're so dramatic."

You pulled your phone, zooming in on a picture you snuck of him during training. He was looking off, his long eyelashes and smooth locks gracing his face like a goddamn angel.

"Its not fair!"

You set your phone aside so you could slam your face into your pillows and let out a muffled scream.

"Why can someone be so damn pretty? It shouldn’t be allowed!”

You huffed as you recalled his smooth skin and sharp features. Soft hair and gentle smiles.

You put your hands on your face and rolled over to your side facing the wall on your bed.

“You’re obsessed with him.. get a grip.”

Maki rolled her eyes placing a sassy hand on her hip with an annoyed expression.

“You wouldn’t get it. You’ve never had boy problems.”

Her jaw ticked.

“Id hardly call it boy problems if it’s just you sitting in bed thinking about him.”

You threw a pillow again, which she threw back again.

You caught the pillow and pulled it into yourself, hugging it tightly.

“You don’t gotta say it like that!”

You sat upright and whined.

“I just wanna hold his face and kiss it!”

You roughly imitated the motions of what you were saying and made a dramatic kissy face.

“And he kept smiling at me all day, with those big stupid pretty eyes! It’s like he knows what he’s doing.”

“Yeah you don’t sound creepy at allll.”

She said sarcastically.

“It’s not creepy! It’s honest. It’s not like it’s my fault he’s got those stupid pretty lashes and that stupid silky hair and that stupid smooth skin!!”

“If you’re just gonna talk about Inumaki then I’m leaving.”

She turned around and began making paces out the door before you yelled at her to come back.

“Okay sorry!”

“Thank you.”

She made her way through your room and sat in your chair legs crossed facing the bed. You two sat in silence as she began pulling out her books and setting them on your desk to begin your nightly ritual of studying next to eachother. But she abruptly stopped her movements when you let out a long and hearty sigh, making her let a sigh of her own.

“Do you just want me to talk to him?”

“No! Thats 100 times worse.”

“Then get it over with yourself so he can at least reject you and you can move on already.”

“It’s different with him!”

“You’re absolutely delusional. We’re not in elementary school anymore, we communicate our issues like adults.”

You hated to admit that she was right. At this rate with your feelings, you would either drive yourself mad not knowing If he felt the same or if he didn’t. But Is it really better to be rejected than to never know at all? You silently weighed your options.

Maki opened a pencil case and pulled out a ballpoint pen, clicking the end as she started to write. The rhythmic sounds of it began to lull you into a daydream as you fantasized about him again.

Closing your eyes and succumbing to your own fantasies maki took it upon herself to take action. Because as much as she valued you as a friend, if she had to what about your fanatical little crush one more time- she’d lose it.

A few minutes had passed as you remained unmoving.

“Y/n?”

She whispered.

Asleep.

She chuckled to herself as she carefully grabbed your phone Off the bed typed in your passcode, opening up recent messages.

>Toge Inumaki 🩵

>Nobara Kugisaki

>Gojo-Sensei

She cringed to herself as she clicked on Inumakis name and the heart.

Y/n: Hey Inumaki, sorry to bother you. Are you free to hang out soon?

Maki set down the phone content with her text. Not expecting the phone to ding seconds later.

Inumaki: Hang out?

Y/n: Yeah, is that okay?”

Inumaki: ofc it’s okay lol I just don’t know you wanted to hang out with me

Y/n: well ofc! I really like being with you.

She watched as the three dots popped up, anticipating his response.

Inumaki: As long as you’re sure you wanna. Just us?

Maki cringed as her fingers hit the keypad and typed the response.

Y/n: Yeah. I wanna be alone with you :) If you’re okay with that.

Maki looked up from the screen to check that you were still asleep, confident you were since you were even drooling a little- she went back to work.

Inumaki: sounds good, what about the movies tonight?

Tonight?? Maki bit her nail as she looked back from the phone to you back to the phone.

Y/n: sounds great! Text me the deets and I’ll be there.

She got up and tapped your shoulder until you stirred awake.

“Hey! Wake up.”

You pushed her hand away as your eyes slowly rose. Maki shoved your phone in your face.

“I got you a date.”

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk fanfic #fanfic #jjk imagines #jjk x reader #jujutsukaisen fanfiction #inumaki fluff #jjk inumaki #toge inumaki #inumaki toge #inumaki #inumaki x reader #inumaki x y/n

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flowerflowerflo · 3 months

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good morning! 𐙚๋࣭⭑⋅˚♡.

𓏲. i dont think people quite understand the importance of having a good morning routine. how we spend our morning sets the tone for the day and its a very important, peaceful, underrated & overlooked part of life i think we should appreciate more !!💕

˚₊‧꒰ა the importance of a good morning ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

𖹭 gives a sense of control

𖹭 sets the mood for the day

𖹭 develops healthy habits

𖹭 boosts productivity and energy levels

𖹭 helps to manage work & schedules

𖹭 improves memory and focus

...anddd much much more. i love love love mornings so maybe i'm a liittle biased but they're so overhated & have so many positive benefits we should def make use of!

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 1. gratitude

idk if its just me but waking up early and prioritising my mornings makes me a lot a lot more grateful for everything i have in my life. appreciate just how lucky we are to be able to even have a bed to wake up in in the morning. be so grateful for being able to see the sunlight through your window and being able to see another day. its a luxury, privilege and blessing to be alive.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 2. dress up!

getting ready is always my FAVOURITE part of the morning. "but im not going anywhere" "im just going to school" "theres no point" no. idc. why do you have to have a reason? why cant you just do it for yourself? when i look cute i feel cute & when i feel cute i feel good. dress up do ur hair do ur makeup (if u wear it) ! look good -> feel good. 💖

(and if u wear school uniform, im making a post with info on how to still look cute w/ uniform soon!<3🩷💕)

🐧𓂃 ࣪˖ 3. time management

set the perfect time for you. that revolves around the time it takes you to get ready, to travel to your destination, etc. and set that back by 30 minutes. so for example say said time would be 7am -> you'd then change that to 6:30. that way youve got the extra time to just focus on yourself and sort out your day, choose what youre wearing, eat a lovely breakfast, drink something yummy, exercise, pilates, tidy up, etc. ♡

🩰𓂃 ࣪˖ 4. romanticism & enjoyment

id say this goes hand in hand with time management but make it so that you aren't rushing and stressing in the morning. enjoying the little things makes life as a whole so much more enjoyable. mornings often set the tone for the day, so if you have a calm and gentle morning, youre more likely to have a good day! ♡

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 5. clear mind

the third sibling of time management & romanticism is definitely being able to go into the day with a clear head. dumping down all your emotions in a journal, in your notes, whatever you use & having your day clearly planned out is a massive motivator for me. i use notion since im more of a visual learner and enjoy having things laid out pretty and neat in front of me but it can be anything you like! (notes, paper, journal, etc.) this ensures you go into the day without a ton of thoughts and worries weighing on your head already before you even start.

so maybe im a little biased because i really love mornings but think about it. feeling the sun through your window in the early dawn, watching it rise and listening to the birds, having some downtime to clear your mind and just be free for a little while before chaos of life begins again. i love you and wish you the best in all you do today 🫶🩷💕

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sturnsbabie · 3 days

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DEAR OWEN AND LEO

PART FIVE: WELCOME BABY OWEN AND LEO

pairing: dad!nate x sls!reader

summary: in which sls gives birth to the twins.

warnings: swearing,mentions of labor,crying,pain,childbirth,fluff.

it was now time for me to start pushing. nervous was a understatement but i knew id be okay with my mom nate and chris being here with me.

nate and chris were holding my hands as the doctor told me to start pushing. i let out a loud scream from the pain as i pushed as hard as i could.

the girls dad, and brothers justin nick and matt all sat in the waiting room with nates family. the screams could be heard from where they were at.

nick was vlogging letting everyone know what was going on while matt was worrying as he heard the screams of his sister as justin was comforting him.

marylou stood beside her son as she was watching her daughter give birth. she was a emotional wreck seeing chris be so supportive for his sister, and she was super emotional the fact that her youngest baby was having babies of her own.

ive been pushing for about a good ten minutes now as i was gripping nate and chris’ hands as hard as i could.

“just a few more pushes and baby a will be out! we see his head.” the doctor said.

nate rubbed my hand. “cmon baby you’re doing so good.” he said.

“you’re doing a good job sis im so proud of you” chris encouraged me.

after a few more pushes the cries of baby leo were heard as the doctor pulled him out laying him on my chest.

i instantly started crying as i held him in my arms looking at him. nate leaned over kissing my forehead. leo looked at me as i smiled softly.

“hi cutie im your mommy” i said as i kissed his forehead.

“hes so handsome.” he said as he had tears running down his cheeks.

chris and nate both looked at eachother smiling happily as they both were crying.

“dad you wanna cut the cord?” the doctor asked him.

nate nodded and the doctor showed him where to cut and he cut it.

the nurses took him off of me to go get weighed and make sure hes okay as it was time for me to start pushing again for owen.

my mom went over to where leo was being weighed at taking pictures for me while chris and nate held my hands as i was pushing for owen.

after two more minutes of pushing, the cries of baby owen were heard as the doctor pulled him out laying him on my chest.

i started to cry again as i had owen laying on my chest. i held him close to me kissing his forehead as he looked at me.

“hi handsome im your mommy.” i said smiling as nate leaned down looking at him.

“hi buddy” nate said as he looked at him just admiring us.

chris leaned over and looked as he was crying. “hi owen” he said smiling.

nate had talked to the nurses and told them that they could ask chris if he wanted to cut the umbilical cord.

“uncle chris you wanna cut the cord?”the nurse asked and he hesitantly nodded.

“its okay chris you can cut it” nate said.

chris sniffled as the nurse showed him how to cut the umbilical cord.

i was so happy that my boys were finally here. it was a long nine months but it was so worth it because now i have two sweet babies.

chris cut the umbilical cord and the nurse grabbed owen going to weigh him and make sure hes okay.

i had to push out my placenta and then the doctors cleaned me out and stitched me up afterwards.

once the babies were both weighed and both were okay the nurses brought them both back to me for skin to skin.

chris leaned down giving me a hug. “im so proud of you theyre so handsome.” he said sniffling.

i hugged him as i held my babies close to me. “thank you chris” i said softly.

my mom and chris went out of the room to give me and nate privacy for a bit to soak in the moment together.

nate got into the bed laying beside me as he kissed me softly. “you did amazing” he said.

we both just sat there staring at the boys admiring them. they were so perfect.

leo antonio doe

october 24th,2022

7lbs 5 oz

owen matthew doe

october 24th,2022

8lbs 10 oz

“you wanna hold them?” i asked nate and he nodded.

i handed them to him as he held them both on his chest admiring them.

“we did a good job.” nate said smiling.

i teared up at the sight of seeing of seeing nate hold the two little babies we both made.

“i love you.” i said as i kissed his cheek.

“i love you too, thank you for making me a dad”he said.

“thank you for making me a mom” i giggled.

.•°♡°•.

chris went out to the waiting room with marylou as he was crying.

“guys we’re officially uncles”chris said with a big smile on his face.

“how did she do!?” matt asked nervously.

“she did so good, im so proud of her” chris sniffled.

“leo was born first then owen was born four minutes after him”chris said.

“OH i cut owens umbilical cord!!” chris said informing the vlog on updates.

“her and the babies are doing just fine we’re giving her and nate some privacy for a while.” nick told the camera.

.•°♡°•.

it had now been a few hours since i gave birth. nate and i spent time holding the babies enjoying the skin to skin contact with them.

i was also gonna breastfeed so the nurses have been in here helping me learn how to breastfeed two babies at once and everything.

i also took a shower because i felt gross and got myself looking decent. i was sore and still hurting from giving birth.

i felt myself fall inlove with nate even more when i saw him hold the twins for the first time.

i always thought i knew what real love was but i never knew it til i saw nate hold our kids.

i finally came back into the room after taking a shower and getting myself dressed.

i sat down on the bed with nate as he was watching the twins in their little nursery bed.

“you can go get my parents and brothers now.” i said as i looked over at my twins.

we let my mom and dad hold owen and leo first before letting my brothers.

it was now time for my brothers to hold them and my mom took the vlog camera so she could vlog it for them.

“im holding owen first! its only fair because hes named after me and i cut the umbilical cord!” chris said.

nick and matt both came over giving me hugs and told me how strong i was and how proud they are.

i handed chris owen carefully as he sat down beside of me holding him.

“hes perfect y/n.”he said as he started to get teary eyed.

“i wanna hold leo!”matt said.

“too bad im older im holding him first!” nick said.

“guys dont fight over my son.” i giggled

“matt you can hold him first.” i said as i handed leo to matt as he sat down in the chair.

it melted my heart seeing my brothers hold the twins. it was such a sweet moment.

“hi little leo its uncle matt.” matt said softly as he got teary eyed when leo held onto matts finger.

i watched chris as he was admiring owen and just talking to him.

“hi buddy im uncle chris im gonna be your forever best friend.” he said as he kissed his forehead.

“chris its my turn to hold owen!”nick said.

“no!hes my baby you’re not getting him!” he said.

“chris. just give him to nick you can hold him again after he and matt holds him.” i said.

it was now time for nick to finally hold leo and he started crying as soon as matt handed leo to him.

“aw hi leo its uncle nick.” he said as he smiled.

the rest of the evening my brothers stayed at the hospital with us for a few hours just visting and talking and admiring the babies. mostly while chris held owen the whole time and matt and nick kept fighting over leo.

VLOG: OUR SISTER GIVES BIRTH! *chris cries**emotional*

COMMENTS!

the way chris talked to owen:(

NICK AND MATT FIGHTING OVER LEO LMFAO

theyre so happy to be uncles its so cute:(

chris and owen are the best duo

nick and leo supremacy

matt and leo >>>>

the way nate kept making sure sls was okay :(

TAGLIST:@sturniololoves , @shinycreationtimemachine , @amaliarosewood , @realuvrrr , @certifiednatelover , @chr1sgirl4life , @thatssocancelled , @aurora-merritt , @ilovechrissturniolosposts , @sturniolo04 , @luvvholly , @riowritesitall , @jake-and-johnnies-slut , @freshloveee , @heyitsmemia, @delusional-4-fake-people , @zayyluvz

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets imagines #nicolas sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagine #christopher sturniolo #christopher sturniolo imagines #matt sturniolo imagines #chris sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo fanfic #mathew sturniolo #matthew sturniolo imagines #nate doe smut #nate doe imagines #nate doe

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sheepispink · 2 months

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A Pearl (1/2)

based on the song by mitski because i love mitski and hot traumatised men

Summary: Years of horrific memories still weigh down on him even as he promises to let you help him move on. All you want to do is help, but its not enough.

Part 2 Masterlist

tags: Leon Kennedy/Reader, Hurt/No comfort, Angst, fem! reader, mentions of re4 (no specific spoilers dw guys), mentions of ptsd, heart wrenching angst 😘

other notes: for clarification, the timeline goes— after the raccoon city incident, then he goes on the re4 mission, then it’s like the smaller missions like damnation etc. Towards the end and next chapter it’s basically vendetta. But theres no actual spoilers bcus tbh.. i haven’t watched any of the movies except id 💀

Ch1: Before it Ended

Like a dream is how you’d always describe it. His coworkers, your friends —anyone who had heard of his name— would come up to you, fawning over your pretty looks and lovely personality. They’d ask you every time, “How did it happen?” And always, you’d replay that memory in your head.

“It was winter,” You’d begin by recounting the snow that fell upon your face that day, the breeze that bristled your bones, and the way his hair looked frozen in place. You’d remember the laughter that bubbled in your throat when you saw that and how his lips curved ever so slightly for what you believe was the first time. Some of the soft strands of your hair had itched your skin; It was messy from having been shaken from the depths of sleep, and now your fingers tuck the rogue locks behind your ear. Eyes like a pretty lake, hair like wheat, with his random strands and dirty blonde roots you would soon learn to run your fingers through. He stood before you, only the dim porch light illuminating him on that winter night. “Why are you out so late?” You had asked him, your hand reaching forward to tug him into the warmth of your apartment. Little did you know that’d tug him into your life as well.

The refusal was clear; he shook his head, puffs of warm air escaping as he explained that he had something to tell you. His clothes were dirty, scratched in places, and his combat knife was only hastily put away—just work, he explains, desperate to leave a good impression on you. He had finished, and he was sure that now that he’d have time, he’d be free from the shackles of the years that would creep up on him. Cheeks flushed and Adam’s apple bobbing—you still aren’t sure whether the cold or a blush caused that. “I know I’m always gone, and we dont see each other as often anymore, but I swear- I’ve sorted everything out. I’ve fixed it.” He says his words rushed and mumbled, like his heart was spilling out then and there.“I know this is sudden- i know, but- i just.. Will you marry me?” He blurts out and every puff of air that leaves his mouth feels like another log added to the fire you didn’t know was built in your heart for him. A campfire, as you’d always describe it, is comforting and warm, the perfect reassurance in cold times. Perhaps you should’ve chosen something detrimental to life, but you preferred the romantic speech.

Everyone loved the tale as you did, enamoured with how you managed to get the stoic agent to fall head over heels with you. He’d walk over right then, slinging an arm around your waist, giving you a tender kiss to your cheek, and plastering a smirk on his lips. “Still telling everyone that story?” He’d tease as his fingertips gently rubbed your side, the silver band on his ring finger twinkling with the same light his wine glass did. “As usual.” You’d reply, that same bubble of happiness rising in your throat again as you tilted your head upwards, waiting for the small peck that always came.

Always.

A year would go by, and you’d been learning more and more about each other. Nothing seemed to be too big of a step for you. Opposing voices, loud huffs, doors slamming shut until the other would open it quietly, apologise, crawl into the warmth of their shared bed, and work things out with sweet reassurances. Work was tough; he was on more missions than ever, being considered one of the greatest men to serve your country. Warmth that you always described as adoration filled your heart whenever you heard that phrase; you couldn’t be more proud of him for it.

Besides, not even that could tear you down; nothing could break the delicate encasing that surrounded the pair of you. A greenhouse, you’d say, because it held all the things that grew only with a person’s own nurture and care. Like your relationship, crafted and melded by your kind words and your soft voice. It’s a shame greenhouses are made of glass.

Weekends were quieter now, something you had decided to take in stride; you decided to plan something nice for when he returned. The he anniversary he had missed too. It’s been so long since you’ve seen him now, resorting to spraying his cologne on the pillows in that cold bed to retrieve some imaginary warmth. Then it came—the day he’d return. Open arms is what you welcomed him with; he had always loved to hug you, and holding you close was a remedy for his mind, he’d say. But those words stopped forming after some time. You ushered him into the shared bed that night, your arms curling around him after the nice surprise you had set up earlier had gone well. Perfect, you had thought. The bed was still cold, though. You thought about bringing it up with him but decided against it; the warmth of his arms was enough for you.

You should’ve brought it up with him, for the time would have entered where he couldn’t handle it. He had awoken with a jolt, sweat trickling like beads down his temples. Eyes wide and chest pounding, he sat there with eyes darting for a threat and hands searching for yours. Your fingers would intertwine with his, warm against his cold palms, as you sat up beside him. It’d be over soon; thats what you promised— you’d do this together.

Nights like those started occurring more often than ever, until one day, he’s awoken with a sharp jolt again. His movements are much more frantic, his hands searching and searching.

Though, this time, it doesn’t find itself in yours.

It’s tightly wrapped around your neck, his mind screaming to murder you. Bloodshot eyes and prominent streaks of black down your arms— the horrors he had tried so desperately to push away— return to his mind. Your breath wont come. No sweet words, and he looks down to see his hand contaminated with that same murky colour. The sink of his chest feels like a knife as he sees your arm grab out at him, like they did everywhere he went. Those creatures who would grab him, claw at him, and still threatened to take his life. They had destroyed his mind instead.

But there is no mutant, no bloodshot eyes and no streaks on your skin. All he sees is what he’s done to you, his body weight pressing on you as his hand keeps a firm grip around your neck. Your mouth begs for air, denying the sweet reassurance he needed as he sees you turn pale, your eyes flickering with tears. There’s no threat in here; not even the cold breeze from the open window chills his bones. Nothing can hurt more than the desperation in your eyes as your hands claw—No—plead at him for relief. He immediately lets go, scrambling to the other end of the bed as he watches you pant, his heart filled with fear. Fear of himself. You quickly turn to him, mustering out your honeyed phrases through choked breaths. But they’re just letters dancing about, barely going near his ears in the walls he had built between the two of you. Ignorance is bliss, but he can’t break his gaze when he sees the deep streaks of scarlet he left on your neck. Frozen in regret and shame, you tentatively wrap your arms around him to comfort the pair of you. But he feels your tears on his neck; the fear you felt eats at his gut and his conscience. You had never felt so cold before.

The days he had left for missions were the worst nights of your life, you’d say, having been away from your heart for so long. But even as you see him drinking his morning coffee, those eye bags prominent, you think your heart might be buried in Spain, infected with the plagas of love that died out.

Unspoken was what had happened that night— a silent promise between the pair of you with small random affections to bandage up the wound he had inflicted. He was still going on the small missions, but they were shorter, and he was back to fill the bed every night. The flowers in the vase never died—a different shade, flower, or even scent every week. A different kind of love.

This continued for weeks, up until you were out with some friends, each talking about their love lives, which was always a topic between the three of you. One of them gushes about how their husband’s love language is gift-giving, describing each and every homemade affection they receive on the daily. Soon it gets around to your turn, and when you speak about his love language, physical touch comes to mind again. Whether it was playing with your hair, rubbing your hands as you walked in the cold, or leaning on you after hard days, he always wanted to be near you. Your mouth fails to respond; no words form yet no examples are recalled in your brain either. You laugh sheepishly, trying hard to wrack your head for something sweet he’s done, until you just laugh it off and talk about how you love him again.

The bed’s empty when you slip inside it; he hasn’t returned yet and he won’t be back for another hour or so. The ceiling accompanies you as you desperately try to remember an act of affection in the last few weeks. It’s only now that it finally hits you, like a tonne of bricks through your skull—

He’s been distancing himself from you.

Knowing that you get caught up in little things, he occupied your mind with flowers and sweet notes. Not once have you actually heard him say any of it or felt his touch, if not accidental. He sleeps at a distance at night, and even when you shuffle closer somehow, you wake up further apart than before. You havent had a meal with him in weeks and you haven’t actually heard that raspy voice you remember as he complains about his day. You cannot remember the last time you felt warmth, and you can’t remember when you last cried this hard.

You’re in the bathroom, wiping away the stray tears as you look at yourself in the mirror. A heavy ache that still scrapes against the walls of your heart, unsure if you feel better or worse after coming to terms with this. Every pump feels like it’s dragging you down instead of keeping you alive. The rush of blood is like-

The front door clicks open.

You almost freak out and you’re not even sure why you would. Why are you scared of this? Why are you suddenly scared of him? Your feet hurries you back to your shared bed, settling under the covers once more to try to play it off as just tiredness. You still can’t figure out why you’re doing all this or why you start to form excuses for your behaviour in your mind. He never does. So why would you? The footsteps draw closer; they’re just slightly heavy, much softer than when he wears his boots. You hear the bedroom door unclick and your shoulders tense with every second.

But you dont see him enter. Slow breathing and closed eyes— you’re even lying on your side as you pretend to be asleep.

————————————————————————

Leon breathes out a heavy sigh, his chest sinking to drain out all his exhaustion from today. There’s a rustle of clothing as he undresses, pulling on some random sweatpants and a spare shirt for the night. Why should he even care if its clean or not? He walks over to his side of the bed, rummaging around the bedside table for something. Then he pauses, his eyes catching onto something in his peripheral view. Tear stains?

You hear the creak on the bed as he leans half his weight on it, about to reach out to you. Your heart beats faster. Is it because you dont want to worry him with your tears, or are you afraid of him? You don’t know. His fingers brush your cheek ever so gently, his voice echoing out your name so, so softly.

“Hey.. you awake?” He asks, and even though your heart is melting into a little puddle so easily, some stubborn stick clogs your throat. His sigh fills the room again and he pulls the blanket over you, tucking it snugly over you before brushing the hair out of your face. Maybe he’s just tired these days, you think. He’s been through a lot after all; it explains all of it. Really, you shouldn’t have been so upset at all—his work and life are on an entirely different level for you.

You’re about to open your eyes, pretend you woke up, and give him a sleepy smile. Images of him giving you a tight hug and one hand rubbing the small of your back as he tells you to fall asleep again fills your mind.

Then he speaks again, the bed creaking as he steps back off of the bed, the warmth leaving as fast as it came. “She’s really knocked out.? Phew.. I do not want to deal with some stupid tears..” He mutters out, his raspy voice much lower and breathless—almost exasperated. A low groan leaves him as he dumps his work clothes somewhere. Then, the bed screams again as he lays his weight on it before he shuffles himself to the end of the bed. He looks back at the space between them, another huff of air leaving his lips.

“That’s good enough. I fucking hate being woken to push her away from me..” Eventually, his breathing evens out, and his shoulders are still tight and tense as his body relaxes into the bed. The night falls quieter, and your mind feels blank.

You don’t know when you fell asleep or if he saw your fresh tears when he woke that morning.

#leon kennedy #resident evil #resident evil 4 #re4 #leon x reader #leon kennedy x reader #resident evil fanfiction #re fanfic #resident evil 2 #fanfiction #angst #spent so long editing this 😭😭😭 pls like this guys #writers on tumblr #reader insert

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donnyclaws · 6 months

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leopard is literally my drag monster icon i strive to look like it if i ever do drag shows one day. do you have any central themes for leopards drag other than the sea? id love to see it in like dog/werewolf themed drag

ARUGRGRG HONOURED, he's very much whatever i want to be too. Strap in I'm gonna take this as an excuse to ramble about this and drag persona thoughts. Like I've been trying to define my own persona for a minute, been going hog on pinterest boarding for myself and disparate inspirations, almost too many to wittle down without just getting in and exploring shit obviously. And I felt silly about letting Leopard be my character, but then it's like. What's more drag than having a person in your head that makes you feel powerful and speaks to you. So it's like well I guess it's you then huh. Guess that's gonna be me. I figure it's like fashion in general where I like a lot of it but what I like vs what feels good to wear is a different question.

Anyway yeah Sea themeing is really really central to them. I really like the idea of its fashion being very shredded, body focused, visceral but then also with aspects of like old glamor because it's just cunty, it's compelling and striking. Love love love that kinda heavy droopy hooded eye look and bold lip moment, high brows. Divine is a big insp.

I also LOVE when drag artists have associated textures with their fashion. barnacles, mould, burns, general distress, seaweed textures, old harbor ropes, everything about estuarys and ship docks that are aged ect. diving suits, any kinda cargo jumpsuit, handyman tradie core butchy labor. Second association I've kinda pulled from is lace / religious vibes because it's also reallyyyy compelling to me. Again TEXTURE dense wool, dense lace, weathering, rusty charms, crosses, sheer fabrics weighed down by chains and old belts and boots. THICK material gross denim.

The idea of being "Taken over" by unpleasantness and poor hygeine. I grew up in a way that was like viciously conditional, like trying to isolate the problem to appease but every part of your body has its own separate disappointments and harms, every part of your brain, clothes, presentation, you know. Like Leopard to me is the worst case sceneario to the parent and the abuser, like it's every trait they wish was left at the doorstep and away from them and it's like taking every bissected part of your brain and body that trauma cut into pieces and putting it back into one body that's like. Okay. I'm not in fragments anymore I'm unified by repulsion and indulgence. It's like that whole thing of being trans is like being your own murderer, to your parents idea of you. Leopard's like something that was drowned and came back, it's like all the black stuff purged after an exorcism became a person, you burned it alive and now it lives in smoke, it's a lace bridesmaid haunting you and it's laughing. Right. Warped memory come back to life, it's waking up. I don't really want to call it a vengeful character as much as it's just like. it's taking all those unpleasant cuttings and infections and stitching them back together.

Anyway anyway I'm indecisive, still early days obviously, and I don't have a drag mother so I'm just feeling it out in whatever way I can. uhhhh anyway here's some dogged up leopards. The first one doesn't really Feel like it to me but the 2nd one absolutely is. I'll probably workshop it more, drenched seadog. wouldsmell so bad. Again trying to see how I can include different motifs for it while still coming back to those core themes.

#the audhd beast is being viciously unleashed rn okay #art tag #leopard #blood

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koraichalcum · 3 months

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some funky previews for shenanigans - ooo mystery raid (its obvious). Already started approaching peeps to participate in some key stuff but it'll open for all to come throw hands and participate in the coming arcs...once I figure out the mechanics. Almost there, trying to make it less mathy and more fun. This is part of that turtle thing I talked about months back-been plotting in the bg, bidding time hah!

It's gonna take a long while, this is still a slow burn event. An important note for my various muses and stuff ahead beneath!

Again, slow burn event - it wont be constant cause of life, dont want stress and for story beats. Most will be fun raid events for muses to catch some neato paradox pokemon leading to funny turtle shenanigans and crater dives. It's not entirely plotted out. Like...here's my scratchy notes lol:

Anyone can join in on open parts - super hope you do! I kinda wanted this as a sort of final ruckus to Scarlet/Violet as gamefreak on record is going to announce a new venture for the year. Hopefully this ends before whenever that comes out!

While this long event is for anyone to participate (Im planning sign ups or something of that matter later down the line for crux parts-Ive already approached some of you, hello there ; > ), it also means the end of my many muse's arcs and stories they've been slowly building to in the bg. This is going to be my fun and final goodbye to my time in the rpc completely.

It's been weighed for a long long time now and I feel it's just about right. Life's been very very busy in a good way! Going to therapy, narrowing down what I want to do with myself, developing habits and schedules to ensure I stick to it including getting properly medicated, challenging my social anxiety and reaching out to others, and even deciding to quit my current dayjob in the near future. RP has been holding me up for years now with just fantastic character and plot ideas I couldn't come up including meeting so many mutuals and friends who've stuck with me for just as long as I've been here. But at some point it's turning more and more into an investment and distraction. I spend too much time here then realize Ive been behind on actual work including the amount of energy and creativity.

In no way am I leaving because of drama, trouble, etc. Figured it'd be nice to bid goodbye with an event then to just peace out quietly one day. Im not even entirely leaving rp per say. I would love to join some of the rp servers here now that Im getting better at participating in group chats. That way Id still stay connected to friends! Probably going to join with new muses entirely but besides the point--

Thanks so much for being interested in my plots, crack posts, ic things, art, etc. Again in no way is this anytime soon hah! I figured with the long while until this is happening Ill have time to start and wrap up other important plots going on with mutuals. But Im looking forward to making this the best last year ever in the rpc before the new title drops <3

Also lizard shenanigans-hes been having a time throwing ya'll around like chew toys.

#ooc┇╳#hella #ill decide on a tag soon

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havendance · 6 months

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to fail, to fall, to fly away

AO3

Fandom: Batman

Featured Characters/Relationships: Helena Bertinelli & Sasha Bordeaux

Wordcount: 936

Summary:

“One day,” Helena said, “you’re either going to fail him or else you’re going to have to live with the fact you didn’t. I made my choice.” Helena Bertinelli is on her way out of Gotham when she encounters a familiar face.

The trick or treating earlier a) reminded me that this fic existed and b) got the juices flowing for it. Anyway, welcome to the latest installment of niche fics from Havendance! This is a coda of sorts to Detective Comics #763 except in an au where Helena killed the joker. Enjoy!

Fic:

Helena wasn’t stupid: she knew when it was time to get the hell out of dodge. She had plans for this: her building was shut down into hibernation, the ghosts that inhabited it still shuffling about to deter intruders, but on a fraction of the power. Things she needed were arranged to be sent on; things she didn’t were locked down. She left the lamborghini tucked away in its hidden garage. Scicily was nice this time of year, and transporting the car there would be more trouble than it was worth. Maybe later, but not now. Not when she needed to fly away.

It was evening by the time she finished. Helena left her apartment with the clothes on her back and little else. She had the absolute necessities—her costume was tucked away in a hidden pocket of her bag, money and fake ids along with it. Everything else she’d take care of as it came.

As she walked down Gotham’s dark streets, she could tell she was being watched. Someone was following her.

Helena stopped in front of the mouth of an alley. “You can come out,” she said. “I know you’re there.”

A figure dropped down. It wasn’t Batman who stepped out of the shadows. Neither was it a man without a face, or Robin (she knew it wouldn’t be Robin, not after what she’d done). Instead, it was a woman dressed in black and purple—the newest member of Batman’s vigilante set.

“Ambush Bug,” Helena said, voice deceptively light. She’d never caught the woman’s name. Now wasn’t the time to ask it.

“Huntress,” was the cool reply. So they weren’t on friendly terms this time. That was fine. Helena expected that.

“He sent you, didn’t he?” she asked.

No reply.

“I’m leaving. You can tell him that I’m getting out of his city.”

“I will,” the woman said. She didn’t move.

Helena waited. The woman didn’t say anything else. “What do you want?” Helena demanded. Always the silent treatment. It drove her crazy when Batman did it too. “Say something if you’re going to, or just leave me alone.”

She was about to turn and leave when the woman spoke: “Batman said the Joker was in police custody when you killed him.”

“So?”

“It’s not the way we do things.”

“We?” Helena scoffed. “Like I’m one of you. He’s made it perfectly clear that I’m not.”

“It was over. You didn’t need to.”

“It wasn’t. It wasn’t over until I ended it,” Helena spat out. “You haven’t been doing this long, have you?”

The woman said nothing. She had a good poker face.

“Do this long enough and you’ll see,” she continued. “It’s never over. It never ends. You put them away and they come crawling out of the woodwork later to cause problems again. I’ve spent long enough playing it his way, so I ended it mine.”

“You killed him.” She was judging her, Helena could tell. She was just the same as all the rest.

“I did what needed to be done.”

The woman was still watching, still weighing Helena up. “I can see it, what Batman told me about you.”

“And that would be?”

“That you’re dangerous, reckless. You don’t understand.”

“Oh I understand plenty,” Helena said. “I understand that there needs to be justice. I understand that there needs to be a price.”

“That you deal out.”

“We all deal it out. You wear a mask. You’re a part of this.”

She reached up, as if only just remembering it was there. “My reasons are different,” she said.

“Then what are they?” Helena asked. “Why do you put on your costume and tag along with the bat?”

“To protect,” was the answer, spoken without hesitation.

“And what if, to protect someone, you needed to kill someone else?”

“That should always be the last resort.”

A different answer than what Helena had been expecting, but an interesting one. “Then you acknowledge it’s an option.”

Silence, which was as close to a yes as she was going to get.

“One day,” Helena said, “you’re either going to fail him or else you’re going to have to live with the fact you didn’t. I made my choice.” She turned.

“Wait!” The woman said before she could walk away. “You expect me to believe that’s why you did it? You killed an unarmed man in police custody because there wasn’t another choice?”

“No,” Helena said, staring out into Gotham’s streets, still empty. The danger was over, but people were slow to come out again. She knew that hadn’t been why. It hadn’t been that at all. It had been three bullets in her gut making a final stand and a week of running around as the world went to hell. It had been finding Robin’s uniform on a skeleton and knowing she had been too late. “But that’s what I am. I’m leaving. If you know who you are, you should too. We’re not like him.”

“We’re nothing alike.” Her voice was cold, angry. “I’m in Gotham to do a job and I’m going to do it.”

“Keep telling yourself that.” Helena started walking away. “None of us escape in the end.”

She didn’t look back. Down the street to where she could catch a cab and off to the airport from there.

Goodbye Gotham. Goodbye and good riddance to it all. She didn’t know if the woman was still following her and she really didn’t care. Let other people deal with Batman. She’d stopped caring what he thought. She was leaving it all behind. Maybe this time, she wouldn’t come back.

#helena bertinelli #sasha bordeaux #my fic #havendance writes #the cooler gotham antihero #carthago delenda est #dc #bats + birds + affiliated

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reyski · 2 years

Note

could I get armin x reader where they both have crushes on eachother and eren and jean tease them about it? maybe a confession scene? if not thats fine, make sure you drink water and sleep and all that

i’m on a bit of an armin kick so i thought id do this just for kicks. also sorry if you dont like fics with drug use, but i think its incredibly hot.

pairing: armin x reader (post timeskip media: attack on titan content warnings: drinking, joint smoking note: gender neutral reader!!

it was a little hard to admit to yourself that you had a crush on armin. you had met through mutual friends (eren) a couple years ago, and even then you were quick to dismiss the little butterflies you felt when he would sit close to you, or say your name. but after a couple months of secretly pining you decided it would be best to admit it, at least to yourself.

a normally smart person, it was entirely too embarrassing how you would trip and fumble over your words when you were around him. letting out nervous laughs, and trying to play off your mistakes was becoming increasingly annoying. and after your friend's weekly hangouts you were bombarded with texts from eren and jean with texts to "just fucking admit it already" and "jesus christ he probably already knows". but every time you thought about asking armin to talk in private, and confessing your little crush your hands shook and your chest became tight just thinking about how he would react.

why would you risk your friendship with armin over a stupid crush that would probably just end in shambles? jean always told you that you had nothing to worry about, and that even if armin turned you down you would always be friends. but you knew that it would be different, not something that your friendship could just bounce back from.

after class one day you and eren, who had been working on a sociology paper in the library, were sitting waiting for lunch that you had just ordered.

"come on you know he'd probably faint if you told him you like him, right?" eren prompted.

"yeah yeah yeah, as if your little conjecture about what armin 'would do' is gonna get me to fold" you retorted, making eren give you a disgruntled look. his lips curving down into a small frown.

"well you're never gonna get anywhere with that attitude"

"im not trying to get anywhere, just leave it alone" another annoyed look was shot your way.

"fine. but if i go crazy waiting for one of you to make a move it's on you" eren said finally relinquishing after the number on his receipt was called by the woman behind the counter.

"fine" you said to yourself quietly as he walked away to pick up the food.

the next couple of days you spent with your mind crowded by the idea of armin possibly mirroring your desire. every time you tried to sit down and work on an assignment questions flooded your brain. you tried to weigh out the pros and cons of confessing, but ultimately it made no difference in your plight.

suddenly it was a couple hours before you were going over to jean's house to see everyone and you were staring at nearly your entire closet thrown around your room.

‘ugh fuck what am i doing, it's not like anyone's taking notes on what i’m wearing’ you noticed you were definitely thinking of armin when you said 'anyone' and groaned a second time, hating how much having a little crush could affect you.

finally picking up something off the floor and wiggling your way into it, fixing your now-tousled-hair and looking into the mirror once again.

‘eh good enough’ you said defeatedly, picking up your things and giving yourself one more once-over to make sure you weren't missing anything. your heart was beating uncomfortably after getting in your car.

after driving over to jean's you parked a block away and quickly walking up his driveway, noticing you were 20 minutes late.

‘shit im definitely getting flack for this’, you knocked on the door shouting a quick "open up!", and hearing shuffling coming towards the door followed by the jingling of the handle and a "jean how the hell do you unlock this thing" along with more shuffling.

when the door finally opened up you were greeted by the friendly faces of sasha and jean beaming at you. hearing a chorus of "hi"s as you walked in and set your stuff down. deliberately not looking around too much in fear of making eye contact with armin and giving yourself away.

"geez what took you so long, we’re almost through the first round" connie remarked as you turned around to say hi to everyone.

"oh wowww, did you save me one?" you asked, mildly joking to connie.

you felt a presence next to you and a small nudge on your shoulder, followed by the clearing of a throat.

"here, i saved mine too so you wouldn't feel too left out" armin said, handing you a can of whatever eren got his hands on this time, shooting you a small smile. you accepted it, returning the smile with a "oh thanks!", cracking open the tab and taking a small sip while observing your friends all going back to whatever they were talking about before you arrived.

you sat around and joked for a while, getting to the end of your can, and settling for whatever other shitty alcohol there was lying around. slowly becoming more inebriated by the minute, you resigned to sitting on the sofa listening to mikasa and sasha hash it out over a small argument, laughing along to the commotion.

the alcohol in your system had dulled any previous worries about armin, so immersed in the conversation that you almost forgot about it until he sat down next to you.

feeling the sofa dip you looked over, "oh hey, hows it going" you asked.

"im ok, just needed a break from eren and connie. too much energy" he said slowly, also obviously feeling the effects of the alcohol.

"you dont say? god i would have never guessed" you joked. armin cracked a smile and let out a small chuckle at your sarcasm.

a bit of silence between the two of you before he leaned over and whispered for you to follow him over to the kitchen. you gave him a quizzical look and slowly stood up to follow him where he was headed. as you rounded the corner into the kitchen you saw him leaning over to pull something out of his backpack, turned so you couldn’t see exactly what he was getting. looking over your shoulder to see what was happening out in the main room you noticed everyone carrying on, not noticing your sudden absence.

“ok lets go” armin said turning around with a joint sitting in the palm of his hand.

raising your eyebrows you responded “oh i didn’t know we were smoking tonight, i would have brought my stuff”.

“dont worry about it, i just brought it incase anyone was interested” his eyes flickered to yours through his bangs and then back down to the joint.

“right right, should i go see who wants to join” you started turning towards the open door before armin made a ‘shhh’ sound and waved his hand towards you.

“i was thinking that we could just go alone, it’s not really that much anyways” he said, even though it was clearly untouched and enough to go around your group at least twice.

“oh! yeah sure lets go” you said quietly, heart just about jumping out of you, body trembling at the slight hint that he wanted to be alone with you. you shook your head a bit, trying to return to the present moment and not overthink it. he probably just wanted to get away from the commotion.

you walked together quietly through the back part of the house, reaching the backdoor. armin pulled it open and ushered you through, closing the door behind him. you both sat down on the small steps down to jean’s backyard. armin fished a lighter from his pants pockets, fumbling trying to find it, offering the joint in your direction, asking if you wanted the first hit. you took it out of his hand, placing between your fingers as armin held the lighter up allowing you to get it started.

the peaceful glow of the lighter spread across your faces, illuminating the darkness for a second before you leaned back and puffed out a cloud of smoke toward the empty yard, sighing in contentment. you handed the joint over, letting armin have a turn and letting the feeling of smoke in your lungs settle, relaxing a little more into your spot on the steps. quietly you passed it back and forth until it was just about gone, and the burn of the weed was almost intolerable.

“do you want to go back in?” armin asked after another moment, looking at you but not making any movements to get up.

“no, its nice out here, and besides if we go back in now they’ll be mad we smoked without them” you said in response, smiling a bit to yourself thinking about your friends and their antics.

“true” armin giggled “i just wanted to make sure you weren’t bored of me” he joked. your eyes widening.

“never! i don’t know why i’ve been so quiet lately, just thinking about things” you explained, looking at armin meekly. his eyebrows raising in question.

“thinking about what? you know i’m always here to talk” he sounded genuinely interested in what was troubling you.

“eh nothing, just life things you know? don’t worry about it” you dismissing his question knowing full well what exactly you were so worked up about.

“yeah i get it, life’s weird like that. sometimes i get so wrapped up in it i don’t know what to do with myself” you shot him a concerned look, turning a little more towards him.

“you want to tell me about it?” you asked, prompting armin to let out a laugh, his head falling back.

“hey! you cant just brush me off and then ask the exact same question to me” he smiled, and you felt yourself jump a bit at his beauty.

“i’m not brushing you off, its just hard to talk about”

“you want to try?”

“only if you tell me about yours too. otherwise i’m kind of getting the short end of the stick” you persuaded him, in a moment of bravery.

“oh gosh we wouldn’t want that” the sides of his eyes crinkled a bit, giving you the go ahead to start talking.

you felt the repercussions of your words coming back to you, not knowing whether to lie, make an excuse, or just tell him the truth. your heart started beating faster, and butterflies erupted in your stomach. small bits of sound came out of your mouth in an attempt to start talking but no words came out.

“i ... ah i don’t know its just...uh” you fumbled as armin looked intently at you, eyes gleaming in the most spectacular way, letting you know that he was listening.

“i think theres something wrong with me” you relinquished as armin’s gaze turned to worry.

“theres nothing wrong with you, you’re perfect” he said plainly, as if he hadn’t just frazzled you even more and given you the best compliment you’d ever received. you felt your face grow hotter, cheeks buzzing with heat.

“is that what you’ve been so worried about?” armin asked, mouth creating a small frown. you shook your head, not saying anything else.

a moment passed, you both sank back into the silence of the minute before. you turned your gaze to your lap, but could still feel armin looking at you. you felt him wanting to say something, but another moment passed with nothing said. there was definitely something different about this silence, it wasn’t as comfortable as the one before, and you could tell there was something hanging in the air. you felt the pressure building up inside you, feeling that maybe your comment made it awkward. in a moment of recklessness, and an attempt to break the silence, you slipped out,

“i think i might like you but i didn’t want to make things weird and i know you probably don’t like me back but now its already weird so i might as well tell you” breathing deeply, not looking over at armin who remained in silence. your cheeks somehow even hotter than they were before, and your whole body trembling.

another moment passed, and you finally decided to take a small peek over at armin. you slid your eyes to the side not moving your head, and he sat eyes wide open, and lips sightly parted in surprise (image). your eyes darted back down into your lap, already regretting your actions, and preparing to just get up and go back inside. your eyes burned in a tell-tale way, you shifted to get up.

a little tug on your arm “hey” you paused to see if he would say anything else, “i think...we feel the same way” he finished, and to both of your relief you turned back around and sat back down.

“you do?”

“yeah”

“thats good”

“hah, yeah” he chuckled, his own cheeks turning pink and his eyes shimmering in the minimal light. armin turned towards you,

“would you mind if i kissed you?” armin questioned “no pressure”. you turned away in the good kind of embarrassment, unintentionally smiling.

“please do”

yayyy lmk what you guys think!! i sincerely hope this isnt toooo gushy and cringy.

as always feed and water yourself! <33

#armin #armin x reader #armin x y/n #aot #snk #aot x reader #snk x reader #armin arlet #armin arlert #attack on titan #aot season 4

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creativebrainrot · 5 months

Text

open journal entry

most of my holiday depression isnt like- im not feeling it right now. but its still kind of there. im still extra sensitive atm to all the gunk ive talked about before.

but its nice to be distracted by Life Things(tm) from all that tv static in my head.

I do wish i could more easily eradicate all thoughts of,

"they all have someone better than you" "you aren't special to anyone" "you'll never be someone's favorite" "you are not wanted"

All of those thoughts hurt like hell like my heart is getting ripped out of my chest. that kind of hurt. no matter how many times i think them. it hurts like new.

but like i said in a previous journal entry, that, conviction that all those thoughts are actually true and real, it just takes time for it to be revealed it was true the entire time, and i am the only exception to kindness and good will. It goes so deep idk how to unlearn it. i think for now at least i have no choice except to just learn how to live with those thoughts (hate. but therapy expensive and annoying and difficult. so. Later(TM))

my point was.

theres a lot of. tv static up stairs right now. I wish i could just turn it off and act like everything was normal.

but it isnt normal right now. and im gonna have a lot of times where I need to just hide away in DMs and not talk to anyone except people i already know.

i'll probably go through this next december too.

it doesnt end or turn off. I will have trouble with the holidays probably for the rest of my life but i WOULD like to enjoy new year's again :(

I kinda wish it was more acceptable to ask for validation/reassurance? like it's so weird to me that's not "socially acceptable" or that its like "weird" to ask "hey we're still good right?"

because: "(the worms in my brain have been torturing me for the last week and I need to know that we're still chill directly from you sorry)"

and thats insanely difficult to work through on my own without any external reassurance but oh my god id rather gnaw my own foot off than deal with being ""too autistic"" to any of my friends.

(NOTE!!!! i know for a fact that three of my closest friends would be completely fine and very understanding if I DID ask them that question/need reassurance ily guys <3)

idk man. brain. difficult. life hard. /positive

excited for the stability we'll have next year though oh my god i love the city holy shit this everything my previous shitass house wasn't oh my god i am so happy i would love to make this place specifically work out if it doesnt thats fine but holy shit i wanna stay here man

also. financial insecurity. (derogatory.)

Overall: 8.9/10 we are doing great and so are the pets. I wish we could re home katey but a big nervous anxious old dog is A Lot and no one has been able to take her in. I can tell it weighs on my dad that no one can take her in and love her. let alone how much it hurts to rehome an animal at all, even when itd be better for the animal too.

anyway we're doing well, i want my schedule back i have friends to bother with oc ship nonsense (/affectionate) again and i have things i need to get out of my brain but I Can't!!!!! [legoyodadeath.mp3]

#creativelyrottedmind #rotthoughts #open journal #many thouhgt. woahg.

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without-it · 8 months

Text

ok i lied i love to update u guys. heres updates and general tips and goals for the next fast ❤️

said id wait till thursday but at my core im a little silly guy who loves to lie and tell untruths!! so heres the fasting tea abt wrapping up that last 90 hour fast and starting this one

first off, the refeeding and weight gain update from the two days of eating "normally" : weight update this morning, from my last weigh in on monday, i gained about 1/3 of a pound (i lost just over 10 pounds so really good return) so really happy with that honestly. refeeding is such a huge and often overlooked aspect to fasting, and if its handled wrong it can often negate all ur hard work.

when i refeed i focus on PLAIN low calorie foods. if you end a fast with curry to be perfectly honest ur gonna shit urself to death and have a fucking miserable time lmao. my go to is a PLAIN UNSEASONED steamed veggie dish (usually steamed broc and corn, broc bc low calorie and corn bc i am a corn GIRLIE), and often with miso soup to go with it. unseasoned foods help with the upset tummy after ending a fast, and get ur body used to actually processing glucose again. and miso soup is just a nice low calorie simple food to add some fun into that meal. pls dear god do not eat sweet foods / high salt / high seasoned in general / or heavy meat or sauced dishes as a fast breaking meal. if youve fasted for more than a 4 days im not joking you can literally end up dying from that so just be responsible shawtie damn. (look up refeeding syndrome im not a doctor so im not gonna give u the lowdown)

things to focus on during the fast to help prevent rapid weight gain: drink ur god damn liquids. i dont care if ur getting water in thru diet soda or tea or fizzy water or even coffee. that is water, that is a pro and do not listen to ppl who say that water "doesnt count". when you restrict liquids during a fast you will obvi lose more weight in the short term, but during refeeding if u start drinking normally again (as i really hope u are lmao) you will gain this water weight rapidly. u turned ur body into a desert for a few days, and best believe the second u have more liquid ur body is gonna hang on to that for dear life. its better for u and less stressful in the long run to just keep up ur liquid intake during fasts trust me.

and then this is my go to routine for every fast:

every day i take these suppliments: high strength collagen, iron, zinc, a womens multivit, and the unsung hero of fasting? FIBER TABLETS. bro i can fast for over a week and still not be constipated bc im on my SIGMA FIBER GRINDSET

and then my daily intake: at least a liter of water every day with the "Endura brand low carb sugar free electrolyte drink" (in lemon lime flavor) (i put 2 scoops aka 2 serves per liter of water) the taste is super mid but honestly drinking that every day on my last fast made things such a breeze. literally like no headaches, no cramps, minimal dizziness, and my sleep was mostly uneffected.

then i also have either a can or two of coke zero. yes i know it has 1.1 calories and diet coke would be technically more appropriate for a fast, but i hate diet coke and u will not catch my ass drinking it

and then a cup or two of green tea with a 0 calorie sweetener. no recommendations on the sugar bc honestly i swap between brands depending on whats avail at my grocery store that week lmao.

all this liquid and high variety keeps me kinda full, and provides fun taste enrichment so i dont literally go monkey insane drinking plain water for a week. cool if u can do that but ur literally a psycho and not to be trusted frankly

so current goal is at least lunch time saturday. i have plans to do lunch w my friend but honestly if im not rly hungry then and i wanna keep the fast going im just gonna cancel that lunch or even push it to dinner to just get a few more hours in!

as usual, expect weight updates every morning. the starting situation is: 87kg exactly ( 191.8 pounds) , 20% of my weight loss goal achieved. see yall tmro for the update!

#tw ana diary #4norexi4 #ana trigger #i wanna be weightless #i want to be weightless #i wanna lose weight #tw ana fast #i wish i was weightless #tw ana shit #ed not ed sheeran #i wanna be skinnier #4narex1a

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