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#just dont call us dramatic when you'll never know what it feels like
louismygf · 4 months
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After his twitter rant totally ignoring asian fans and our show, i felt nothing about new pic
yeah,, i get it. i'd probably be 10,000x more enthusiastic if the asia 'leg' was given half the thought and care (i would take just acknowledgement at this point) other legs were given (europe/uk/usa) lol
you know, a tweet just mentioning jakarta (ONLY ASIAN DATE IN 2024) would've been a nice gesture, but i guess he can't be bothered to do just that. i bet he can't wait to go to australia though!!!!!!!!!!
anon u are valid 🫶🏽 know that youre not a bad fan by holding him accountable and expressing distaste/disappointment because of his/his team's actions 💗 asian louies hold my hand...... it's going to be ok..... and Maybe nothing will change, and maybe it will only get worse. maybe it will never be ok. anyway, however you decide to view him / consume content / interact with the fandom is up to you <3 curate your own fandom experience. do what feels right to you!
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halsteadlover · 2 years
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Eye For An Eye
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*Gif not mine credits to the owner*
• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader.
• Requested by anon: Hi. I dont know if you have seen Greys Anatomy, but my request is if you could write Jay and the reader in the season 6 finale of Greys. With the reader being in Dereks place(she can be a surgeon) and Jay in Merediths. He doesnt have a gun on him when it happens, so he cant protect them. And instead of Christina, Its Will who does the surgery on Y/N. So I dont know if you have seen it, or if you are completly confused, but if you have, it would mean alot😊
• Warnings: blood, curse words, gunshots
• Word count: 7138.
• A/N: I think this is the longest piece I've ever written and as always it's shitty 💀 I'm sorry for how this turned out but I hope you'll like it. Let me know what do you think, like, comment and reblog if you want 💞 Love you all and thank you for your support.
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Each person has a different way of doing, of thinking, of acting. Each situation is different from another and for each one there is a different way of reacting. When you’re happy there are those people who jump of joy, there are those who cry, those who cannot stop laughing or clapping their hands. When you are sad there are people who withdraw into themselves, those who prefer the company of some friends or their partner, those who don’t let themselves be discouraged.
But when you lose a loved one, this is a very broad discourse, difficult to enclose in just few lines, but even in this case each person has their own reaction, their own way of dealing with pain. There are those who cry desperately, those who scream since the pain of the loss is so strong because this is a kind of pain that tears inside you, tears your heart out; there are those who seem impassive, just because they need to metabolize, they don’t cry, they don’t scream, don’t despair, they remain there sitting in a corner to mull over what happened, what was going on.
During your career as a surgeon you had – unfortunately you'd dare to say – the opportunity to witness all kinds of reactions from a family member to the loss of their loved one. You were always understanding, ready to do anything to try and ease the pain those people were feeling even though you knew they hated you at the time since you were the person who gave them the worst news of their life. You thought you had seen everything but, damn it, how wrong you were, how wrong you were in having taken the arrogance of being able to think you knew the human being in its complicated and absurd interest. As already mentioned, every person has his own type of reaction in relation to a certain situation but never in your life, not even for a second, you would’ve thought the death of a patient could also have been the cause of yours.
“Doctor Y/LN, the patient is in atrial fibrillation,” a nurse had warned. You were in the midst of a brain operation on a woman, Ellen Hopkins, a 50-year-old lady who had a meningioma, a benign brain tumor but which, given its location and size, was quite dangerous to remove and carried high risks.
“The patient has her skull open, a wrong movement and I could make her paralyzed for life” you replied, the forceps and the electric scalpel in your hands while you were concentrating on the patient’s brain. “Two milligrams of Amiodarone, fast!”.
“The fibrillation persists,” you commented, lifting your eyes for a moment and placing them on the monitor the patient was connected to. “Damn it!” you exclaimed, putting down the surgical instruments and approaching the patient’s chest “Let’s carry out a cardioversion!”
“Charge at 200!”
Nothing.
“250!”
Still nothing, the fibrillation persisted as the patient’s values plummeted dramatically.
“350! And call cardiology!”
Not being able to use defibrillation again, you continued with the cardiac massage while waiting for a cardiothoracic surgeon to arrive in the operating room.
But Mrs. Ellen died on that operating table before someone even arrived.
“Damn it,” you cursed, taking a deep sigh and looking at the clock “Time of death, 16:33.”
Informing relatives was never an easy thing to do, you never got used to it, and that didn’t change even when you had to inform Mrs. Ellen Hopkins’ husband, Bill. You explained to him how the surgery had gone, you answered his questions, you told him you did everything possible to save his wife but that, unfortunately, she hadn’t made it.
Bill was petrified, speechless. Not a single sound came out of his mouth, not a single word, not a single tear came out of his eyes. He remained impassive, unable to process the information he had just been given. He just looked at you, straight in the eye, for a few moments before turning his gaze and walking away.
You watched him go and it was in vain to try to call his name and speak to him. You sighed deeply, running your hands over your face in frustration, blaming yourself for just ruining that man’s life. You couldn’t even imagine how he must feel at that moment, so you didn’t blame his reaction, as already mentioned, everyone had their own way of reacting to such devastating news.
As you used to do after surgery, you holed up in the doctors’ ward, ignoring everything and everyone and continuing to reflect on that surgery and what you could’ve done differently to save that woman.
And you stayed there all afternoon, until the evening, until your shift was over. They all tried to cheer you up, Connor, Will, April, to tell you it wasn’t your fault but right now you didn’t even want to hear those words, at least not from them. You just wanted Jay and one of his hugs.
Jay had been your boyfriend for almost four and a half years now and given your hectic lifestyles, being you a surgeon and him a cop, it was sometimes difficult for you to even see each other even if you were living together.
That evening it was enough for him to see you come out of the hospital doors to understand there was something wrong with you. He understood it from the way you walked at a slow pace, from the way you had your head down and your eyes on the ground.
“My love,” he began, getting up from his car on which he was leaning and walking towards you. When he finished his shift early, he always used to pick you up at the hospital or wait there until your shift ended too.
A small smile rose on your lips when you saw him, beautiful as the sun. The instant relief you felt when you saw him was something magnificent, it was amazing how even just that was enough to make you feel better.
“Hi baby,” you greeted him, immediately wrapping your arms around his chest and hugging him tightly. His arms encircled your shoulders and he too squeezed you tightly, knowing right away that you needed it right now.
“Baby are you okay? What happened?” he immediately asked in a worried tone as his hand gently stroked your head.
“Can we talk about this later? I just want to go home and forget about this day.”
Jay understood but didn't insist any further, leaving your space and knowing that when you were ready you’d tell him everything.
He slightly broke away from that embrace and with his hands he cupped your face, stroking your cheeks with his thumbs. Without saying anything he kissed you, a chaste, sweet and delicate kiss you didn't even realize you needed until then.
“Has anyone dared to bother my princess? Do I have to beat the shit out of someone?” Jay asked in a menacing tone and expression, in an attempt to cheer you up. He smiled when you giggled, knowing he had succeeded and that, in reality, he was serious about this, as he wouldn’t hesitate even for a second to punch anyone who really dared to hurt you.
“No baby, no one has dares to do this wickedness,” you replied with a joking tone.
“It'll be better for them,” Jay joked, stamping a sweet kiss on your forehead that made your stomach lightly explode like fireworks. God, how much you loved that little gesture. “What do you say to go home and forget about this bad day? We can order something and watch a movie if you like.”
You nodded enthusiastically, looking forward to taking a shower and throwing yourself on the bed.
You and Jay were lying on the sofa, having dinner and watching a movie in the background that neither of you was really following. Your head was resting on his chest, your arm instead encircling his chest as he hugged you tightly, stroking your hair and kissing your forehead from time to time.
“I missed you so much today,” Jay said, making you smile even though he couldn't even see you right now.
“I missed you so much too baby, I really needed this.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, almost in a whisper. You let out a sigh, almost involuntarily, “You don't have to tough if you don't want to, I don't want to put pressure on you.”
“No sorry it’s just…” you started talking, putting yourself in a sitting position so that you could look at Jay “It's just... Surgery gone wrong, a woman died on the operating table.”
“Oh. I'm so sorry my love,” Jay replied, taking your hand and squeezing it tightly. “You don't think it's your fault, do you?”
“And who else could it be? I was the surgeon,” you blurted out “It was an operation that presented complications but it had 95% of possibilities to be a success, I promised her, her husband...”
“Baby, baby, stop,” Jay stopped you, letting go of your hand and grabbing your face with his hands and making you stop talking. “It’s. Not. Your. Fault. I wasn't there and I don't know how things went but I'm 100% sure you did everything in your power to save her and if there was a chance to do anything to keep her alive you’d do it. Complications happen, they happen, the surgery had a 95% chance of success but unfortunately that 5% is always there, it's hard, but it's always there and it's nobody's fault, much less yours. Don’t blame yourself for this baby, you are one of the most talented surgeons in the entire hospital…”
“Why can't I help but feel like shit then? Maybe I didn't consider some variables, I was too sure and a patient died,” you said, your voice almost broken by trying to hold back the tears. But from the way Jay wiped one, you could tell the attempt was completely in vain.
“Because we are human, it's in our nature to blame ourselves when something doesn’t go as planned and we always need to have an answer to the things that happen but the truth is that not everything has an answer, the universe operates in a mysterious way and I know for sure, I’d bet on it, there was nothing you could’ve done that you haven't already done.”
You sighed, then resting your head on his chest as he hugged you in an attempt to console you.
“I'm here for you baby, cry and let it go as long as you want, I won't let you go,” he continued to whisper, occasionally leaving sweet and delicate kisses on your forehead. He continued to hug you indefinitely, whispering words of comfort to you until you calmed down and stopped crying. You didn't know how to express your gratitude for having such a fantastic man like Jay by your side, you’d never have known how to do it without him. He was your rock, your backbone, what put you back together when your world fell apart.
-
In the next two days nothing special happened, you and Jay went on normally with your jobs, you operated, he arrested criminals.
It was Friday and it was now late morning while you were in the operating room after finishing an operation on a man with spinal problems. As usual, you washed your hands and left the operating room before going to write everything down on the patient's medical record.
Everything seemed to go on normally, lunchtime came quickly and as usual, Jay came to the hospital to pick you up and go eat something together. You were still busy in the last morning visits and Jay took the opportunity to exchange a few words with his brother Will, who was at the reception.
“Look who’s bere, I thought you died,” Will commented, jokingly.
“Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't show up but work has been killing me lately, it's like the criminals have all woken up at the same time,”Jay explained “How is everything going?”.
“It's okay. I’m fine, Maya is back in town tomorrow and I can't wait to see her again, work is going pretty well, in short, I have nothing to complain about and I can finally exchange few words with my little brother.”
Jay chuckled and was about to answer when a man's voice interrupted him.
“Excuse me,” the man said, getting attention “I'm looking for doctor Y/N Y/LN, where can I find her?”.
Jay immediately turned to the man after hearing your name being mentioned and looked him up and down, studying his appearance and making sure he wasn't some ex or, worse, a shady guy. He was a man who couldn’t exceed fifty-five, tall, slender physique, balding. He had his hands tucked into the pocket of his visibly ruined pants and his gaze totally absent.
“She’s finishing her last visits, you can wait in the waiting room and I will call you,” Will replied cordially.
“No, it's pretty urgent. I'm here for my wife and the doctor made an appointment for me today and at this time,” said the man, so calmly, a behavior that was not expected of someone who had a loved one hospitalized.
“I’m sure you can wait here too, the doctor will come down immediately and see you,” Jay continued, but the man insisted that the matter was urgent and he needed to see her right away.
“If the doctor told you that, you can go now,” Will said, going on to explain where to find you.
The man thanked him and started walking towards the elevator. By now he had memorized the way to your ward, which was only on the first floor.
Slowly, the man approached the ward where, however, a nurse stopped him.
“Sir, visiting hours are over, you can't stay here.”
“I'm looking for Doctor Y/LN,” he replied, completely ignoring the nurse's words.
“You can come back here at three in the afternoon, when visiting hours start again.”
Soon the situation plunged completely into the abyss, in a whirlwind of chaos and despair.
The man pulled a gun out of his jacket pocket and without any sign of remorse or hesitation, shot that nurse, making his body fall to the ground, lifeless.
The sound of the shot echoed throughout the entire floor and the terrified screams of doctors, nurses and the patients themselves began to spread. They all started running away at the speed of light fearing for their lives. There were, however, those who couldn’t even get out of bed, asleep patients who were unable to save themselves.
When suddenly Jay saw a wave of people running from the elevator, terrified, he knew immediately that something was wrong. He and Will quickly exchanged a worried look and Jay immediately tried to stop someone to ask for an explanation.
“Hey! Hey! What the hell is going on?!” he exclaimed aloud, but everyone ignored him, continuing to run away. He stopped a man, who in terror stammered a few words.
“A… A man… He has a… He shot… He has a gun.”
Jay’s heart stopped beating for a moment as he heard those words. His mind immediately understood what was happening, who was the aggressor and his first thought was you. That man had targeted you, he wanted you.
A feeling of panic took over him and his brain went completely blackout. His first instinct was to run to the elevator and try to find you before that man found you but Will stopped him.
“Where the hell are you going?!”
“What do you mean where the hell am I going? That man is looking for Y/N I have to find her!”
“Jay you need backup!”
“You get as many people out as possible, I call the rest of the team and look for Y/N,” Jay had replied and before Will could even answer, he run for the elevators. After quickly making the call and making sure the team and SWAT were coming soon, he put his cell phone in his pocket and reached for his gun.
At that precise moment a shiver went through his body as he realized he didn’t have his gun with him and that he had left it in the dashboard of his car.
“Fuck!” he whispered angrily to himself. That didn’t stop Jay, however, determined to find you before the madman did. He began to wander the corridors of that floor, constantly looking around. He felt the sweat tinge his forehead and his heartbeat greatly accelerated, not so much because of the situation but because he knew your life was in danger. He kept praying with every fiber of his being you were okay, that you were able to hide somewhere.
The anxiety and worry he was feeling at that moment were feelings he had felt a few times in his life and knowing that you, the love of his life, were in danger and, above all, he couldn’t do anything to help you, it destroyed him. Deep down he couldn’t even formulate a single coherent and rational thought.
The last thing you expected that day – and to be honest, you didn’t expect at all – was to find yourself face to face with an armed man pointing his gun at you.
“Mr. Hopkins…” you whispered, short of breath and heart pounding. Mrs. Ellen Hopkins’s husband, the lady who had passed away on your operating table a few days earlier, stood in front of you, with an absent look, and with the gun pointing straight at you.
“You killed my wife,” he said, his voice cold, aloof, as if a robot had taken possession of him.
“I… Mr. Hopkins I don’t…” you stammered, having no idea how to get out of that situation.
“You killed my wife!” he screamed at the top of his lungs, showing some emotion for the first time. His sudden change of tone made you jump with fear, and in pure instinct you raised your hands up, visibly trembling.
“Mr. Hopkins, please… Lower that gun, there is no need, I promise you I will answer any of your question.”
“Shut up!” he yelled again “There is no question you can answer! You killed my wife! The love of my life! You took her away from me and today you will die like her!”.
Your eyes filled with tears, but you tried in vain not to cry.
Fuck no, you didn’t want to die, not that day, not like that.
“Mr. Hopkins… I ask you please, let me explain how things went, I’m sure you will want to know why. I know this won’t bring your wife back and I’m terribly sorry about that, I know how much you loved her and how much she loved you, but I can help you find answers if you wants.”
“And what could fix this? She died!” he exclaimed, waving his gun at you and making you jump again.
Oh God please.
“Nothing, I know it won’t bring her back to life, but it might help you find some peace, I’m sure, in fact, I’m 100% sure Ellen would like you to be at peace, she doesn’t want you pining for her death.”
“I don’t want to hear you talk!” Bill continued, now taken by anger and resentment “I hate you! I hate you so much! You were the one who had to heal my wife, make her feel better and not kill her! ”.
Your heart tightened in a vise and you couldn’t not feel guilty. You rationally knew it wasn’t your fault but, subconsciously, you couldn’t help but think so.
“Okay, okay, but please Mr. Hopkins, this thing is just between me and you alright? No one else has to suffer from this tragedy, no family has to mourn their loved one, if you want to blame me that’s fine but leave the other innocent people alone.”
“I don’t care a damn about the others, they were just accidents along the way. I wanted you Dr. Y/LN, you ended my wife’s life and I will end yours.”
Your blood froze in your veins, your brain working hard to try to invent a way to escape from that situation.
At that moment your thought was only one, only Jay, and how much you wished him to appear through that door and take you away from there. You couldn’t stop thinking how that morning could’ve been the last time you saw him, how you wanted nothing more than to take refuge in his arms.
Bill clicked the safety of his gun and a feeling of panic took hold of you completely, fearing that these would be your last moments in life.
“Bill… Please listen to me,” you begged him “I know you aren’t a bad person, I know you are grieving terribly for the loss of your wife and I am so sorry, there has not been a moment when I have not thought of her and I don’t even dare imagine your suffering, damn it, I don’t even know how I would’ve reacted in such a situation. I know it’s just the sadness and anger that are talking now, and you are right to be angry with me, with the world, with whoever is up there who took Ellen away from you and I don’t blame you for that. I know I was the person you trusted most to save her life and I betrayed this trust and I will forever apologize for that, because I wanted Ellen to recover as much as you did. I am not a perfect being, I am human too and as such I can make mistakes but I am ready to pay the consequences,” you spoke, and noticing that he was listening to you you continued “I did my best and believe me when I tell you that if there was a single minimal thing I could’ve done to save her, I would’ve done it but I know you don’t see it that way now. Bill... I… I have a family too, I’m somebody’s daughter, sister, niece, girlfriend and like I said I know you’re not a bad person, I know you never want any family to go through what you are going through right now.”
“You’re wrong Dr. Y/LN,” he replied, suddenly calm, as if all the anger he felt until recently had magically vanished. “I want everyone to feel exactly what I’m feeling.”
The sound of a gunshot boomed throughout your office room as it kept repeating in your mind. Suddenly the whole world around you fell into total silence, there was only a subspecies of hum that you could clearly hear with your ears.
You didn’t realize it right away. It took you a few moments to do it.
You didn’t realize right away he actually shot you. It was only when you looked down and watched the blood splatter spread across your uniform that you really realized he had shot you.
Your body fell into a trance state and you didn’t immediately feel pain, due to the adrenaline flowing through your veins.
You fell to the ground, without strength, the blood expanding rapidly under your body and soiling all your clothes. You had no idea what was going on, you didn’t know if you were dead, if you were still alive, if your attacker was still there, if it was all a terrible nightmare.
Your mouth was completely dry, your jaws so dehydrated as if you had just run a marathon. Your heart was beating madly as your chest rose and fell quickly even though each breath was like receiving a stab, one was more painful than the other.
At that point the pain slowly began to be excruciating, so persistent as to be almost paralyzing. It felt as if millions of needles were penetrating your skin with extreme and devastating agony.
Jay was right there, he had witnessed that frightening and horrible scene from afar, given the open door of your office. He had seen how that man shot you in cold blood and without the slightest doubt or hesitation.
It was Will who literally held him back by force, or he would’ve come to you, or he would’ve tried to save you. He would’ve even taken that bullet for you, he would’ve fought to try to save you, but he couldn’t have done it and now you were probably even dead.
It didn’t do any good to wriggle with all the strength he had in his body, try to escape Will’s grip, yell at him to let him go.
“Fuck Will, let me go!” Jay kept screaming, trying to run away, in despair he had never been in his life. His stomach was in a vise and a lump in his throat had formed.
But when that shot rang out within the walls of that hospital, Jay was completely paralyzed for a few seconds, as if for a moment he had feared he had an auditory hallucination.
He stood still as his mind processed what was really going on.
“No!” he screamed at the top of his lungs, freeing himself from Will and running at lightning speed to your office. He didn't have anything else in mind but you at that moment and he didn't even care that bastard had vanished, he just wanted to see you.
Seeing you poured into a pool of your own blood was an image that would never leave his mind again.
“Baby! Baby! Please wake up, don't leave me!” Jay exclaimed, immediately leaning over your body, not caring in the least he was soiled with blood. He took your face in his hands, breathing a sigh of relief when he noticed you were still alive, trying to mumble something.
“Shhh my love, don't talk, keep your strength okay? I'm here now, I won't let you go, please hold on tight” Jay begged, “Will!” his eyes blurred with tears and only then he realized he was crying “Please don't play tricks on me, you have to stay with your eyes open okay?”.
“J-Jay…” you muttered, struggling to keep your eyes open “It hurts so much...”
Jay cried even more to hear those words, knowing you were in terribly much pain and there was nothing he could do to end that pain. He continued to caress your face, your hair, noticing the paleness of your skin. He knew very well how you felt, he knew how a shot could be terribly painful.
“I'm so sorry I didn't come earlier baby, please don't leave me okay? I love you so much, I can't live without you…” he cried “Try to hold on for me, you'll be fine I promise...”
“I... I want to sleep Jay...”
“No, no, no, no,” he replied, panic in his voice. “Don't fall asleep, okay? You have to keep these beautiful eyes of yours open, can you do this for me my love? I know it's difficult but you are so strong, you are the strongest person I know... Don't do this to me, don't leave me baby…”
But at that moment you weren't strong at all, you weren't a fighter and you didn't have the energy and strength to fight. You just wanted to let yourself go and get some sleep, just for a little while.
The room slowly began to fade as black splotches appeared before your eyes and at that point you could no longer fight to keep your eyes open and found yourself sucked into a whirlwind of darkness.
“Will!” Jay yelled in utter despair again.
Will immediately walked into your office after rushing to get a stretcher and an emergency kit, and seeing the blood and you unconscious in Jay's arms he knew immediately that the situation was dire.
“I’m sorry I was finding these. We need to get her to the OR immediately. Jay help me put her on the stretcher,” Will ordered, trying to stay as cool and lucid as possible even though it was hard for him to see you like that too. You weren't just his brother's girlfriend, you were also his colleague and a very dear friend.
“Take her by the shoulders, I’ll take her by the legs. At three we raise her, okay?”.
Jay nodded, trying to wipe away his tears quickly and did what Will said.
“One. Two. Three.”
They placed you on the stretcher and all three of you immediately left the office, trying to go as quickly as possible to the operating room. It was a race against time, and both Will and Jay knew it, there was no room for mistakes, there was no room for hesitation.
“Will,” Jay called his brother, before seeing him enter the OR.
Will turned and immediately understood the words Jay was about to say.
“I can't be without her, save her please.”
Will's heart squeezed in a vise and never as in that moment he felt a huge weight on his shoulders because he knew if things went wrong he wouldn’t only lose you, a friend, a colleague, an exceptional doctor, but he would also lose his little brother.
He nodded before turning and walking into the operating room.
Jay didn't know what to do with himself. He never felt so helpless and at the same time cutting out from the world.
He didn't know the rest of his team had arrived there in the hospital, that the man was immediately found and arrested after killing that nurse and seriously injuring you and two other people but Jay didn't even care.
He didn't care where he was, he didn't care if he suddenly appeared behind him or even if he went around the hospital. He knew this wasn’t correct, his motto was to protect and serve but he didn’t give a fuck, he wanted nothing more than to know you were alive, safe and sound, that you were okay.
When it came to you, there was no criminal, job or any other matter that had a priority over you, there was nothing he wouldn’t have abandoned just to know that you were happy, that you were well and healthy. You had always been the center of his world since he met you and he didn’t even care how absurd it seemed, but it was the truth, you were his everything, all that was most important to him and knowing he had done nothing to avoid hurting you was killing him, devouring him inside.
The thought there was only a wall to divide you physically but an abyss mentally, was something that Jay just couldn’t understand and in the hours when Will operated on you, he thought he literally died a thousand times.
For the first time in his life he had understood the real meaning of fear and it was a feeling he never wanted to try again. It was horrible, devastating, debilitating, feeling that damned fear, that paralyzing and visceral feeling of anxiety that twisted his stomach in a tight grip. He was afraid of losing you, of never seeing you again.
How could he live without you?
How could he only think of living in a world where you were not there?
He wasn’t ready. He would never be.
This option had never even touched his head since you became a part of his world. He wanted to be with you forever, until his last breath and that was not even enough, because he knew that even in the afterlife your souls would be reunited and you would be together again.
What would he do if he never saw you again? What if he could no longer talk to you, hear you laugh at his sleazy jokes, hear you romp when you were happy, see you smile, hug you when you were sad and wipe your tears when you lost some patient on the operating table? What would he have done without your immense clumsiness, so much that he didn’t even know how you were a surgeon sometimes, without your disastrous cooking, without your hair ties thrown all over the place, without your obsessive way of disinfecting everything? What would he have done without your kisses, your hugs, your way of making him feel so pampered and loved, always, every day and every second?
“Fuck no, no, no, no,” Jay muttered to himself, as if to banish those horrible thoughts from his mind, “God please, please, save her, let her come back to me…”
After about an hour in which you were in the operating room, the rest of the intelligence reached Jay and in vain his friends tried to calm him down.
It was only when he saw Will come out the door of that damned operating room that he came back to breathe a bit and at the same time die of heartbreak and anxiety.
“So? How did it go? Is she fine? Please tell me she’s okay,” Jay spat out, immediately approaching his brother. He studied the expression on his face in the smallest details and a modicum of hope lit up when he didn’t see that typical expression you had when you had to communicate the death of a loved one, he didn’t seem sad, on the contrary.
“The surgery was a succes, I am 99% sure she will recover completely. The bullet had pierced the stomach but fortunately there was no major damage. Now I’m taking her to ICU and we’ll have to wait for her to wake up,” Will explained and couldn’t even explain the transformation Jay underwent. He noticed the precise moment when that veil of anxiety and worry finally disappeared, replaced instead by joy and happiness.
In a rush of happiness Jay hugged his brother, squeezing him like he had never done before. “Thank you Will, thank you so much.”
Will returned that hug, smiling. “You don’t have to thank me, she is very strong.”
“Yeah, she really is,” Jay replied through tears, only then realizing he was crying. “When can I see her?”.
“In a while don’t worry.”
Seeing you lying on that hospital bed was an image Jay would never have thought of seeing in his life, it was literally a blow to his heart. You had oxygen goggles inserted in your nostrils, your face was terribly pale but despite that you were still the most beautiful creature Jay had ever seen.
He stood next to you and he never took his eyes off you for not even for a second. His hand gently stroked your hair, as he used to do when you slept. It had now become a habit, stroking your hair and watching you sleep. Sometimes it happened that you smiled even in your sleep, snuggling closer to him, but this time it didn’t happen.
Your skin was cold under his fingers, as he stroked your cheeks and, God, he would’ve given anything to be in your place, so as not to see you hurt even for a minute.
Jay leaned over and gave a kiss on your forehead, as he kept caressing your face and hair.
“Do you have any idea how much I fucking love you? How do you make me feel? How important you are to me?” Jay began to speak, remembering the words you said to him once and that talking to patients asleep can have a positive effect on their awakening. He left another kiss on your forehead. “Do you have any idea how much you scared me today my baby? God, I've never felt so scared as I did today, not even while I was overseas. Seeing that son of a bitch...” Jay stopped, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat as he remembered the moment you were shot “I'm so sorry I couldn't stop him, I don't want to imagine how scared you were, I’ll never be able to forgive myself, I was there, a few meters from you, I have always sworn to protect you and keep you safe but I have failed and I am so sorry.”
“Please wake up baby, don't you dare leave me here alone okay? I can't be in this fucking world without you. I swear to you, I'll never leave you alone again, but now you just have to open your beautiful eyes alright? Can you do it for me? Show me those beautiful eyes that made me madly fall in love with you?”.
Jay stood there at your bedside indefinitely, watching you sleep and hoping that sooner or later you would finally open your eyes. Will spent nearly every twenty minutes visiting you and it was in vain for him to try to get Jay to go and rest.
It was when he felt your fingers move slightly, after almost twelve years, that he feared he was truly hallucinating.
“Oh my god, oh my god,” he literally jumped up from his chair, holding your hands as he looked at you “Baby, can you hear me? Please answer me, give me a sign. Please, please, please.”
He felt your fingers move slowly again and at that point he made sure it really happened, it wasn't a joke his mind was playing on him.
It took you some time to understand what was happening, where you were.
Your head was pounding terribly as if you were being hammered, your vision was blurred and you had to blink several times to focus.
The first thing you saw were the artificial lights coming from the ceiling, which at the time were terribly annoying.
“Where am I?” you grumbled with difficulty, feeling weak and completely without strength.
“You're in the hospital, love,” replied a voice you recognized immediately. It was Jay, your Jay. “No, no, stay still, don't get up.”
Your eyes met Jay's and the joy he felt at seeing you awake was something that was minimally comparable.
“You finally woke up,” he said, almost in a whisper, as if he hardly believed it. He stroked your hair, leaving a kiss on your forehead.
Suddenly images of what had happened flooded your mind, the exact scene in which you were shot seemed to repeat itself in a loop in your head.
“Has... Has any other person been hurt?" you asked.
Jay nodded his head, sadly. “But they’re all fine. He was caught soon after, he surrendered without opposition.”
“And you? How are you?”.
He chuckled, taking your hand with his and letting a kiss on it. “You're the one on a hospital bed.”
You let out a faint laugh but it results in a painful twinge. “I guess I deserved it.”
Jay's face immediately turned serious and his heart tightened in his chest as he heard these words. “You can't really believe such thing. You don't deserve to be here baby, it's not your fault what happened, please, get it out of your pretty little head.”
“His wife is dead and I had to save her,” you whispered, your gaze fixed on the ceiling as you tried in vain to hold back the tears.
“His wife died of a complication, every surgery has it, you always tell me, and you did everything possible to save her. You don't have to pay for something you are not to blame for, please stop thinking this okay?”.
You were silent for a moment and you then returned your eyes to Jay.
“Baby... Are you crying?” you asked, alarmed. He shook his head slightly, wiping away his tears quickly and avoiding looking at you.
“No, I'm not,” he muttered but let go when you started stroking his face. He lowered his head and let himself go in a liberating cry, venting the frustration, the anger, the sadness but above all, the relief.
“Oh baby, it's okay, it's okay,” you tried to console him as best you could given your position.
“I was so fucking scared to lose you Y/N…” he whispered.
“I know, love, I know, I'm sorry.”
“You don't have to apologize, on the contrary, I’m sorry, I should be the one to console you,” he said, wiping his tears and then looking at you. Your heart skipped a beat to see his beautiful green eyes shine so bright, still shiny from crying.
“You don't have to apologize Jay, there was nothing you could’ve done to stop it and you don’t have to blame yourself for not being able to stop this from happening,” you spoke up, realizing you were crying too.
“What about we both stop to blame ourselves?”.
“We have a deal,” you faintly smiled “Do you have any idea how much I fucking love you too?”.
Jay let out a laugh, knowing you had actually heard his words as he spoke to you. He stood up again and leaned towards you before grabbing your face and pressing his lips against yours. There were no words to describe what he felt, what that contact caused within him, the relief to know he still had another chance to be with you, he still had he chance to kiss and hug you forever.
“Can you get close to me?” you asked.
“But I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t hurt me, please baby, I need you now.”
“God, how can I say no to this beautiful face?” he said and you giggled, trying to ignore the pain that this entailed. Slowly and carefully, you tried to move in the bed, so you could make room for Jay and not make the stitches fit.
“Be careful baby,” Jay warned, helping you.
Jay positioned himself beside you, trying to be careful not to make any sudden movements, and he put his arm under your head. He printed so many kisses on your face and forehead, still unable to believe the luck of still having you there with him.
“I swear to god I’ll never let you leave the house again, I can’t risk someone taking you away from me.”
You giggled again. “Don’t make me laugh please, it hurts.”
“It’s not my fault you have such a funny boyfriend, it’s something you’ll have to live with.”
You hit him with that bit of strength you had, aching from the wound. “Can you stop it?”.
“Sure my love,” he kissed you on the forehead again. “Now try to rest, okay? You need to regain strength so I’ll get you home as soon as possible. I will always be here beside you, I won’t let you go.”
And with those words of comfort, you slowly slipped into a deep sleep, into the arms of the man you loved and with the hope, sooner or later, everything would be fine, everything would return back to normality.
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Masterlist
Buy me a coffee? ☕
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justallihere · 1 month
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i'm going insane bc i was away for the weekend and left my phone alone (god bless) and came back to a whole chapter PLUS love declaration PLUS forehead kiss ?? omg.....
Mira is not letting Xaden rest like ever, I do wonder what Violet told her while Xaden was prepping her bath tho.
“Not if it bothers you, they can’t,” said Xaden. “I’ll make sure they keep it away from you.” 
oh he wants violet to be comfortable so baaaad he's the embodiment of "is the sun bothering you queen" and im so here for it.
i'm totally fine and sane over xaden washing violet's hair im not kicking my feet or anything and im definetely not crying over how soft they are and how much trust must violet have on him bc she's letting him touch her hair after it being threatned to be cut.
forehead touches are my faaaav so u can imagine how well fed i am after this chapter and for that i say thank you alli *dramatically bows*
Xaden not wanting her to feel like she wasnt love so he just declares himself to her had me weak, like it could've been this grand gesture but nothing between them has ever been planned or expected so he just winged it and it was perfectly what she needed. talk about soulmates !!
when u told us the declaration was gonna hurt i didnt have this imagined in my mind but im so glad it happened this way and not the way i thought it was gonna happen. it was so bittersweet !!
ALSO she def knows she loves him shes just not ready to admit it bc in no way in hell would she ask him to say after he declared himself if she didnt know she also felt something
also the way they first slept i know xaden neck was complaining
also violet reminded me of a cat who always try to get closer in their sleep. she just wants to cuddle !! and shes so real for that
Rhiannon is truly a bestie!! not her terrorrizing the love interest we love a ride or die bestie, even if sometimes she's unresonable
“You whisked her away before anyone could check on her.” 
bestie there was not one single part of her that wasnt broken what was the man supposed to do *cries* but i do understand her stress
SLOANE MAIRI !!! not her calling the king of tyrrendor her brother i love that for her !! she's a princess so true. also i looove xaden and liam's talk it wasnt too cheesy bc tbh they dont operate like that but it was so genuine !!
can the guards chill !!
Garrick is just like me!! i too love gossip and will put my hands on it as soon as i can. but garrick its been like 12 hours wait a little longer or violet herself will call u out again. but also not garrick begging xaden no rule to country and he's just like "no <3" love that for him his wife just got back running a country is very far from his mind.
“Is that what you told her to do?” Rhiannon raised an eyebrow. “Get over it?” “No, but you’re not her, are you?”
He's so ??!!
the development of violet a few chapters ago being like "he didnt hold me while we slept bc there had been no excuses for it in Aretia" to now being like "im gonna curl into your arms so hard you'll never escape" and honestly good for them !!
anywayyyy i LOVED this chapter
lol a lot happened this weekend, welcome back!!!
Xaden’s literal one and only concern is Violet and her comfort, fuck everything else. I’m totally not fine and sane about the hair washing so I guess we balance each other out 🫶🏻
They are very much soulmates!! Xaden didn’t plan to fall in love with her, of course he didn’t plan some grand declaration of it either, we’re just going with what feels right. Violet is a grumpy little kitten yes you’re right
Rhiannon is stressed as hell, like give her best friend back RIORSON where is she
Garrick needs both gossip and for Xaden to do his job and he’s getting neither of those things! Too bad so sad!
Thank you!!!! 🩷
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Joseph quinn head cannons part 2!!
Part 1
Masterlist
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Mouthing "I love you" to eachother across the room
Cooking dinner together (turns into a food fight)
He let's you wear his jackets (secretly he really likes the brown leather one on you it compliments you eyes)
Painting and wine dates 🤧probably in the living room he would probably try to paint something very cool like a sunset but gets all mad when he ruts in the colors to much so he just paints a smiley face overs it and signs it and gives it to you for a early birthday present as joke." It's from the heart love take it"
He would try to be romantic and do the scene from Lady and the tramp but yall end up bumping heads or biting eachother lips NOT very fun
Says he doesn't snore so you prove him wrong when you take a video of him snoring while he sleeping his comeback are always the same "why you recording me while im sleeping ay"
Loves when you wear his clothes to sleep especially his botton up shirts with lace panties
If your short( like me )when you get on his nerves he will put your favorite snack or your phone on the highest shelf in yalls house and act like he doesn't know where it is "dont look at me I would never do that once again ask the dog!"
His morning voice is rusty and deep and he knows you love his morning voice so he will go to your ear and whisper you to wake up "morning love" "time to get " "baby come on" "no you can't have me for breakfast"
Sence he has anxiety he would probably play with your hands or squeeze your knee as comfort
Really good at cooking but not at baking
Trys to do your makeup or test it for himself but doesn't know what is what "why is it called a booty blender" babe!! I got the powder in my eye agian " "why are my lips tingling "
Going back to reality TV shows if he ever got invested in them you'll see a whole new side of him "fucken hell just slap her already " love get the wine my cup is about to be empty!!!" Babe you saw that she trusted him and he slept with her sister who does that" (get angry and riots at the tv )
Random late night thought with joe "babe can pigs see the sky " if we met when we where younger would have we been friends" do you know fire trucks are actually water trucks" finger are wired like did are arms slip into smaller arms"
Randomly stare into your eyes for a couple of seconds and walk away( kind of like the picture ^^)
Leave hand written notes around the house for you
Loves giving you hugs from behind
Loves the morning but hates the sunlight
Very protective of you when it comes to yall being out and fans or paparazzi comes up to yall
It's very dramatic when he's over stuffs himself "God I should have never eaten that much" "baby catch me I'm gonna faint"
Lives trying out new foods
He hates how his mom and you tease him about baby photo " I was a cute baby alright God " mum mum that enough don't need her running away from me"
Daily jogs but never goes as planned "we barely left the front door how are you tired" " sweetheart I told you to pee before we left....never again...never agian"
Sometimes feels guilty for blaming the dog for everything he goes to the dogs bed and sit himself down "look we gotta have a chat yea look I'm sorry that I keep blaming you for what I do but your way cuter then me so if I blame it on you she won't get mad but I'm my case I think she already caught on"
Randomly jokes about having kids with you in the future "imagine a mini use running around right now " "yeah I said it they would definitely have my hair"
Love naps
He only cries when you're around he loves how he can have a person to lean on when he's feeling stressed "I loves my fans their lovely but I'm just so tired"
505 from Arctic Monkeys is probably yours song
Good at cooking but not good at baking
He loves catching you watch edit of him it make him feel very lucky "ay what you watching their"
If it's really cold he will make sure your bundled up cause he doesn't want to hear you complaining later "breath from you noise then" just waddle like a penguin you got it babe"
Gets all mushy in the knees if he see you holding a baby
Buys you flowers everytime they die
Helps eachother what to wear that day mostly he will fit the color groups you have on
Dancing in the rain but the one of yall slip and fall and ruins the whole mood
House hunting
Makes fun of eachother in the rudest way possible to see who gets offended first (obviously it's him first)"YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW LADY"
Alway keep a small comb on him for his hair
Love putting his hands in your back pocket
Takes a couple of clothes home from his photo shoot csuse he over heard you saying you loved the outfit he was wearing to his stylist
He is the big spoon but secretly likes being the small spoon sometimes
Alway has to have you in his arms when yall are asleep and if you get up in the middle of he night he get all whiney and sad "baby where you going" okay I'm giving you 30 seconds hurry please"
When you have a bad dream will alway try to help in the bets way possible even knowing he can't really do anything about it but as long as your smiling your alright "well do you want to to go inside you head and kill him myself cause I wil...I will 😡"
Have a book yall read before you get ready for the day and before bed (mostly like a novel or muder mystery)
When you asleep he loves cuddle you from the back whispering in your ear "don't worry I'm never letting you go "
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Terry KK3 X Reader
Context: You are one of Terry's adult students, and one night after a bad moment with your boyfriend, Terry offers to take you home 💚
Ever since you had joined the cobra kai dojo, you have loved every moment of it, from learning how to protect yourself, to gaining more self confidence. Your sensei was Terry Silver, he was a strict sensei, with most of his students, but he never was with you. He took time for you and instead of demanding you do a karate move, he would support and help you with whatever you were struggling with. You felt safe around him, and were glad that he was your karate teacher.
However, because you were spending so much of your spare time at the dojo, your boyfriend wasnt very happy. He would text you all the time to see when he could see you, and always wanted to know if you were staying over at his place. You knew why he was like this, his only hobby pretty much, was sex. But even then, it wasnt always pleasurable for you too. One night you and he had just grabbed a bite to eat at a local fast food place, and he was driving you to a quiet spot called make out point at the top of the valley. He pulled over, turned off the engine and turned to face you.
"So baby? Wanna have a little fun?" "Ummm sure Jake but, not hear" "Do you want to sit in the back instead? It is a comfier place to have sex" "No Jake. Were out in the open hear and I dont feel comfortable doing that with you, especially in a place where anyone could see us if they drive up hear too" Jake just starts to look frustrated, and is hand grips tight against the steering wheel. "Oh come on, just let loose a little, I dont care if anyone sees us" He says as his tries to lean in and kiss you. "Jake i said i dont want to. No" "Look just let me-" He tries to unbuttoned your shirt and your pushing his hands away, but he wont stop. "Stop ot Jake! I said No!" That's when you slap his right in his face, so hard that he actually falls back in his seat.
"What the hell was that for? I was only trying to get you in the mood!" "When a woman says no, she means no! Unlock the doors Jake I'm going home" "Dont be like that, let's just make out a little and then-" "Unlock the f#cking door Jake!" He sighs and unlocks the door, and you grab your handbag and get out of the car. "I'm not going to be with someone who wont respect me, or make me feel unsafe. It's over Jake, dont ever come near me again" "Your being so dramatic. I'm mean look at where you are, your at least 8 miles away from your house with no car, its pitch black and cold out there. Just get in the car, and maybe I'll forgive you for your little outburst" "I would rather walk 100 miles in the wind and rain than get in your car. I never want to see you again!" You say as you start walking away. "Fine! But you'll be back!" He shouts back to you.
You make your way home in the dark, with the street lamps to light your way. You were hurt, and annoyed at Jake, you couldn't belive he would act like that to you. But he wasnt your problem anymore, and all you wanted to do was get home, have a good cry and maybe a few glasses of wine. It was another 5 miles until you could reach your house, and your hands were starting to feel numb from the cold. Then a few minutes later, you hear a car honk its horn from behind you, and you really hoped it wasnt Jake. It pulled up beside you, and your surprised to see who it is. "Hey Y/N! What are you doing out so late?" "Sensei Silver? Oh I'm uhh...just walking back home" "But you live the other side of the valley? Do you need a ride?"
"Oh that's very kind of you but, I'm fine" He leans over to the open window and looks you up and down. "Y/N, your hands are purple from the cold and your shaking. Plus, you look like you have been crying. I can see that your not having a good night. Come on let me take you home. It's not safe for you to be out this late on your own" Feeling the cold seep into your bones and the blisters forming on the bottom of your feet, you agree to go with him. "Thank you sensei silver" You say as you sit in the passengers seat. "Please Y/N were friends, call me Terry"
You tell him your address and he starts driving through the valley to take you home, he also puts his heaters on the let you warm up. "Its that any better?" "Yes Terry, thank you. I can feel my fingers now" You both chuckle, before he asks you "So? May I ask why your out this late tonight? And by yourself?" "Well the thing is, I broke up with my boyfriend tonight" Terry looks very concerned for you. "He took me to a place called make out point to spend some time together, but I didnt want to. And let's just say he didnt take no for an answer" "Hold on a second? Did he?!-" "No no he didnt no! He wanted to, and he tried. But I stoped him. I kind of slapped him across the face" Terry's angry face gets a little calmer. "Good for you, asshole definitely deserved it. And that's why you dumped him?"
"Yes, if he cant respect me or understand what the word no means, he doesn't deserve me" Terry smiles at you. "I couldn't agree with you more Y/N. A woman like you deserves a man who will protect you, not a little boy who makes you feel unsafe" "Thank you Terry, that's very kind of you to say" "Your welcome Y/N" About 10 minutes later, Terry is parking up outside your house. "Thank you for the lift home Terry, I really appreciate it" "Anytime Y/N. If there is anything you ever need, I will be hear for you when ever you need me" "Thank you Terry, I will be there for you too"
Just as your about to open the door to get out, your phone rings, and you see that its Jake. "Oh for god sake, I told him not to call me again" Terry gives you a mischievous look. "Would you like me to answer him? I could teach him a lesson?" "Do you know what? Yeh, you go right ahead. I don't care what you say to him" So you pass Terry the phone, and he presses the button, putting it on speaker. "Have you had a think about your stroppy outburst baby? Maybe walking back home helped you remember what your missing. You want to come over to my place and have some fun?......baby?" "Yeh...Y/N is no longer available" "Who the hell is this?" You smile as Terry talks to Jake, you can sense that Terry is going to put him in his place.
"Who is this? And why are you on Y/N's phone? Was that bitch cheating on me?-" "Ah ah ah Jakey boy, you need to watch your words now. My name is Terry Silver, perhaps you've heard of me?" You can hear Jake on the other line gulp in fear, you can hear his voice tremble. "Oh sh#t, uhhhh yes, yes I know who you are Mr Silver" "That's good, and did you know that your ex girlfriend is a close friend of mine, and she told me what happend this evening...and I'm reeeaalllyyy not happy" "Look Mr Silver I can expla-" "Shut up. Now you listen to me. If I wasnt out this evening, I wouldnt have been able to take this wonderful woman back home, after you treated her so disrespectfuly. And she would have been made to walk home in the dark and cold all by herself. I am truly amazed how you could be with such a kind hearted, sweet and beautiful woman and treat her like dirt on the bottom of your shoe. Well hears something for you to remember, a woman like her is going to have any real man begging to get the chance to be with her, and I wont allow a little runt like you to make her feel anything less than the goddess she is. So your not going to call, text or see Y/N again, and if you try....you'll have to answer to me. Understood?!"
"Yes, yes mr Silver" "Good, now delete her number and f#ck off" Terry ends the phone call and hands you back your phone. "Wow Terry, that was so amazing. Thank you for defending me, I haven't had anyone fight on my side like that" "You dont deserve someone like that putting you down, and if he tries, he will have me to deal with" "Can I... ask you something?" "Of course" "Did you really mean that stuff you said about me?" He gives you a warm smile. "Every word Y/N" You smile and look away, trying to hide your blush. You pull your keys out and reach for the car door. But before you get out, you turn back to Terry, lean over and give him a sweet kiss on his cheek. "Thank you Terry, For everything. Good night" "Good night Y/N, I'll see you in the dojo on Friday" You walk towards your house, giving him a wave, as he waves back. Then you enter the house as Terry drives off. He has a big smile across his face, and he gently strokes his cheek, right where you kissed him.
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lightermyking · 4 months
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You ever look at someone you loved and see them happy while you're all miserable,
And catching yourself smiling, and actually feeling pleased?
I feel like i both failed and succeeded, i always wanted to see her happy, and no matter how much of a bad person she was to me or anybody else i had hope she'd change,
Now I feel pleased for her happiness, yet disappointed for her bad manipulative behaviour towards everyone.
To be honest i changed, and accidentally learned from her behaviours,
Now if someone bothers me just a bit i leave and hate them and just swear at them infront of them in anger, but they think im joking because I'm the "funny friend" man I don't even want to be YOUR friend like for god's sake why do people believe that being an asshole is a (like someone told me) qoute on qoute "a love language" since when???????????????? I hit you because im uncomfortable and i cant control my body well and that is not an excuse but it helps me a small amount tbh. I dont hit them harshly (i would but no.) They make fun of my interests and just when i say fuck you they just say thanks i love you too like what?? An dif i say i hate you (sometimes im too straightforward but you'll know why) they say aww i love you more i dont get it? People tell me to express, tell how I feel, but then what? They act dumb and not get a shit then they dare say they are an important figure in my life? Bro my plushie is much more important than you☹️
Im sorry i wanted to blow some steam after my so called friend said I'll probably die if i try to drive a car(i never showed signs or anything of being shit they just made up their mind and yes yes i know im being dramatic but it's an important thing for me and i hate it :( why would i be shit and she would be great why? What is it because she knows about cars????? Like the hell man)
Q: should I stop being friends with these people?please give me answer and a solution it hurts :(
Im not really that great tbh i please a friend and the other i hate but please because my dear friend wants us to be friends to be a group. I know i should be accepting but i cant, it's been a 1 and half years and we do not agree on anything i feel like a mother from her and its annoying she gets into trouble WHEN I TOLD HER NOT TO DO WHATEVER SHE DID, like i really am not being heard even this dear friend of mine is starting to be like that! I dont like this they are too irresponsible and do really bad things and get away with it :/
Help me please :(
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echosofmyself · 2 years
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2
how sad i must look, how pathetic i must be, for all to look at me and decide to step on me.
it is pathetic, isnt it? how i feel my stomach move whenever i think of standing up for myself, how i hold my tears deep inside and try not to show it, as you step on me, use me for your benefit, for your salvation.
how fun it must be, to not care about making me feel so bad all the time. how hilarious, to get away with everything by pinninh it on me.
i cant even say it's just a bad day. i was looking tru my old tweets, on that burner account i made when i thought you loved me. how every single one of those, are just me in my darkest moments when the light was so far away and all i could feel was the cold pf the air around me. even if i couldnt truly express the entirity of my feelings, how they tend to overwhelm me so quickly and keep a grip on me for months on end. With only 240 characters theres only so much you can say but "i fuxking hate living" seems to translate it all pretty easily.
It fun to see, now looking back, how every milestone of mine, every moment of my life, is determined by a period of sadness. since i was a kid who didnt know how to do friends to an adult to worries herself sick of any and all interactions. i wonder who made me like this? myself, by willingly deatching myself from reality early on, making it impossivbe to even care about what was happening aroudn me? or you, my forthbringer, who ignored me all my life except for the times where i disappointed you. Only in those times did you truly set your eyes on me, and now everytime someone looks at me all i see is your disappointed eyes wishing you had a better child.
every moment of my life seems to go back to the same place. no matter how sad now, how sad before, how bad, whenever i go down, all i can see is myself in the backyard, putting up the clthes to dry at 7am after you woke me up with the broom, because i forgot the say before.
i can forget everythinh in life, but i'll never forget that. For what is good momentns and art pieces gazed upon in wonder, compared to feeling like you have and are nothing, and that no one will love you as you wished to be loved.
Every bad moment goes back to that, since rock bottom can alwyas be reached again. No matter how much i run, how far i go, i alwayd end up back here, in that yard, putting up clothes in the cold air of february, thinkinking how i have to go get ready for school becuase im 14 and how i need to see the damage you did to my body with that broom you almsot broke on me and how i wish i was dead because everyday i wake up wondering ho bad youll make me feel and how little i should be for you to be pleased. Bakc then i cried and screamed and dreamed about going awya, of disappearing at 18, to never return and yet here i am at 22 back at the same house with you. You, who laughs when i tell you this because to you it was just another tuesday while to me it was the day i truly wish i could finally die.
and you'll call me dramatic and how i blame everything on you to exonorate myself of any blame, because perhaps i did deserve it and i just cant see it because i didnt dp what you wanted when u asked and i never was organzed or had the best grades or even pretended to try and care and ill listen to you tear me down so easily, because maybe some it is my fault but how you so eassily blame me for beig me cannot be normal.
i hope you can find the child you always wante din this new one, the child your son who ruined my life will give you. And you'll treat the child as best as you can because why blame a child for its fathers sins, sins you dont even know because i protect you from the truth. But it'll still hurt to see yu give this child all i ever asked from you, with an ease as if it was alwaus inside of you to be like this, and you simpky werent with me because i wasnt enought to deserve such treatmenrt. I wasnt what you wanted and therefore you werent what i wanted either. In a way, we're both to blame, arent we?
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beepbeepbeepeedee · 2 years
Text
he may not even read this
whenever i think about you or our interactions, I hear this one phrase from Euphoria where Rue's mom says "You're not a good person, Rue."
and she said it with such pain, while rue facially responded with hurt behind the guise of apathy. That parallels us. I tell you all the ways you hurt me and treat me and yeah you show apathy in your face but i can see how it makes you so mad. but i can also see how you won't let it hurt you, and you lash out with your abuse tactics. like rue did. rue's response was to call her mom a piece of shit and essentially say that she at least has an excuse bc of her dead dad, and that her mom has none. I feel like i plead with you on my hands and knees to care about me and you're like "you know what sucks ? my life."
i don't think you have the sociopath aspd. i think youre a psychopath with bipolar depression. and you're so content not letting yourself feel that you make it my problem. i'm not your sponge. feel your fucking feelings you are in a world of your own making at this point. I know how your mom is, i know how your family is, and while you know what i've dealt with you have no fucking clue. i've given u the tip of the iceberg. i havent told you everything everyone has done to me because i dont want to make it a competition. but everytime i try to bring up to you you tell me i talk about it too much. like you have NO IDEA what i've been through. and you know the most of everyone. isn't that nuts
after a decade of friendship i shouldnt have to ask to be heard. i'm constantly screaming for help and no one hears me. and you essentially put on fucking earmuffs. i already made my mind up for when i'm going to die. but i wanna at least feel okay while i'm here. you have not only disrespected me yourself, but allowed others to and that's not okay. and i feel like you're only sorry bc of my reaction because i feel like u don't care about me, and u only see me as an asset or character witness
the other day you apologized for what M did and i told u to stop. because your apologies dont mean much to me right now. they're just words. but when i called u out on it you said that i was making the apology about me. anthony, if youre apologizing to me, who is the apology about ? if it doesnt make me feel better, stop it. i don't think i'll be able to believe you're sorry for a while. and that hurts me bc all i want is to be your friend. but youre not a good person so i don't even know why i want that. it's like i'm punishing myself and always apologizing for my attitude and feelings and behavior and you just get to be... Like That.
anthony, you're emotionally abusive. you've been amotionally abusive toward me for most of our friendship and it hurts because all i've ever done was try to be there for you. you abuse my love for you and it's like you refuse to call it abuse but that's what it is
you hurt me and make me feel worse than my parents ever have. and that's saying something. and i've said this and it's like you don't care. and you also hide your feelings like you'll be so passive agressive and fucking rude to me and if i bring it up, it's like "i'm not mad, you're being dramatic" and you get all angry when i call you out and say very true things. you just never wanna hear the fucking truth and i am exhausted of putting all this energy towards you and you dont even use it. spellwork to help you, words to help you, it's like i'm only useful when i shut the fuck up. that's not okay. you drain me and i keep letting you
idk how much more of this i can take. because i don't fucking deserve it. you have to be better. i need you to be better. YOU need you to be better. and if you don't read this all the way through, this friendship is over. forever. no "maybes" no "finding my footing"
if you don't read this and hear me out, or if you come back at me on some yelling shit, just don't consider our friendship done. i love you and i need you to listen and not throw ur weird silent tantrums FUCK
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smoochkooks · 3 years
Text
—christmas cream(pie) ; (m.)
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⟶ pairing: jeon jungkook/reader
⟶ genre: established relationship, smut, fluff
⟶ word count: 3.6k
⟶ summary:  a day before christmas dinner with your boyfriend's parents, you discover another alternative way to use the chocolate cream you’re making. jungkook is more than willing to indulge in your little fantasy.
⟶ warnings: explicit sexual content, food play, finger-sucking, spit kink, dirty talk, oral (f) receiving, slight choking but nothing too extreme, unprotected sex, creampie, jungkook being the sweetest boyfriend on the earth and your emotional support, tooth-rooting domestic fluff:(
a/n: hi!! this is my little christmas present for you. hope you enjoy what my brain came up with yesterday<3 ps. i also dont know what kind of fic title this is.
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Christmas secure a top spot on your own self-made list of holidays. You enjoy practically every aspect of it. The food, decorating your house, songs, movies, the whole magical aura of warmth and love – you name it.
But this year though, you're fiddled with anxiety because it's the first time you're going to celebrate with your boyfriend Jungkook and his parents.  
You've been dating for two lovely years, living in a shared apartment for almost six months but somehow you've never spent any major holiday together. Until now, it actually felt like a step bigger than moving in. Choosing to be with your families and celebrate separately was never an issue for both of you.
And foolishly, you thought this year would be no like the other, that you'll kiss your sweet boyfriend goodbye before Christmas Eve and reunite after the whole shenanigans would end. But to your surprise, Jungkook had different plans for you.  
“Y-your parents did what?”  
“They invited us for a Christmas dinner.” he repeated calmy, completely unfazed by the pure shock marring your features.
He was sprawled on the couch, hair messy and falling onto his forehead because he had been avoiding barbershops lately (it wasn’t like you minded it–if anything, it made him look even sexier). He was wearing your favorite pair of sweats that had a soy sauce stain on the left knee and a simple black t-shirt, yet for you he looked like an angel sent from the above and devil reincarnated at the same time. So deliciously domestic and soft it almost made you wanna jump him right here and there, if it wasn't for the more nagging matters that you had yet to discuss with him.  
“But,” you stuttered, brain too consumed by nerves to help you formulate coherent sentences. “I was visiting your parents in Busan over summer.”  
“Yeah, but it's been a while and they really want to see you again,” he said, raising from his spot. He came up to you, his tall, lean body towering over your form. The moment you saw his sparkly doe eyes boring holes into yours, you knew you were approximately twenty seconds from giving in. “Pretty please.” he tried again, palms cupping your flushed cheeks until you had no choice but to agree.  
“Okay.”  
Jungkook grinned in response and leaned to press a chaste kiss onto your lips. “Love you, baby.” He tasted like spicy noodles and soda but you ignored it, mustering a small smile.  
“Love you too.” you said, always meaning those three little words because truly, you could never resist Jeon Jungkook and his charms. He had you wrapped around his finger more than you'd ever admit and you'd simply do anything to make him happy, even if that meant stressing over a Christmas dinner with his parents.  
“They really like you, ___. You have nothing to worry about.” Jungkook murmured upon kissing your nose, and then forehead. “My mom is already so excited to see you. She said she would make an apple pie because you once mentioned you liked it.”
You leaned into his touch, slightly less angry you had been surprised with a revelation like that but at the same time still apprehensive and filled with nerves. “You aren't making this easier, you know?” you asked.  
Jungkook sent you an apologetic smile. “You're amazing, baby. You don't need to convince my parents again that you're the right person for me,” he said, hands finding purchase on your waist and pulling you closer to him. “All you have to do is smile and compliment my mom's cooking skills. And maybe ask dad about fishing. You know he's been crazy about it lately.”
Easier said than done, you thought to yourself. Jungkook was a natural when it came to bewitching people. Your parents adored him because he knew all the right words to make them fall for his charms. He didn’t have to try hard or pretend to be someone else in order to be accepted as their daughter’s partner.  
You, on the other hand, were on a different side of the spectrum. No matter how many times Jungkook reassured you of your worth, you still had a lot of insecurities to deal with. That was just who you were as a person. Maybe it was why you clicked so well together. You needed someone to be your second Sun.
“You got his.” With a final kiss onto the crown of your head, Jungkook left you standing in the middle of the living room, and all you could think about was a fricking apple pie and finding new ways to impress your boyfriend's parents. 
Hence way you're currently in the kitchen, blender in your right hand as you mix the ingredients for the most extra chocolate cake you've ever made, determination written all over your features like you’re competing in the final Bake Off episode.
And why is that? Because your brain couldn't let you sleep peacefully at night if you didn't decide to bake your own cake for Jungkook's mother. It started innocently, slowly getting information out of your boyfriend about his parents' favorite food. Of course, you had to be clever about it, so he wouldn't suspect anything too early into the game. That's why after asking a round of rather specific questions you lured him into a blowjob because you know he usually loses his goddman mind after a good dick sucking.  
Content with your plan, you're now a day before the Christmas dinner, Jungkook's mother's beloved cake almost ready to be put into the oven.
“Babe, I'm home!” you hear Jungkook calling from the corridor. You sent him to do some (un)necessary grocery shopping so you could have a time for yourself to prepare the cake without him looking over your shoulder and analyzing your every move. You really hate when people do that because you’re more likely to screw something when you’re being watched.
“Let me taste it then,” he says, grabby hands reaching for the bowl but you quickly swat them away.  
“I'm here!” you shout back, unplugging the blender once you're satisfied with your chocolate cream.  
“What is the smell?” Jungkook asks, entering the kitchen. “Oh,” he quips, placing grocery bags on the floor. “You made this?”  
“Mhmm,” you hum, dipping a finger into the bowl and then putting it into your mouth. It tastes good, not too sweet but at the same time it still has a strong chocolate flavor. Perfect.
“Wash your hands first.”  
“Wait,” You can almost hear the gears shifting in his brain. His grip on your waist tightens as you desperately try to stifle the laugh babbling in your throat. “This is my mom's favorite cake.” 
Jungkook dramatically salutes you, even though you see him smirking under his breath. Once his hands are all clean and dry, you feel his arms encircling your body from the back. “Is this for me?” he murmurs, obviously referring to the cake.
“Nope. It's for tomorrow's Christmas dinner.” 
That’s why you break into a smile, pulling him for a quick peck. “You can taste my cream now.” you say.  
“Great observation.”
“And you said you were making it for the Christmas dinner,” Jungkook continues, “Which means you did this purposely.” he finishes, twirling your body so you're now facing him.  
“You said she would make me an apple pie so I thought I could reciprocate the kindness and do the same,” An innocent smile tugs at your lips. “Besides, the more food the better.” 
Jungkook snorts. “So here's why you were asking me all those weird questions lately.”
Your eyes widen. “You paid attention to that?”
“Babe, I might be a simple man who enjoys seeing his girlfriend sucking his dick but it doesn't mean I don't listen to you,” he says, sounding slightly offended but you know that deep down he's amused by the whole situation. “You didn't have to do that, you know?”  
You let out a long sigh. “I know but... I just felt so weird. Your parents are so happy to see us, they are doing all those preparations and I couldn't stop thinking about doing something to impress them in return,” you murmur. “So they wouldn't think it preparing a whole celebratory dinner for their son and his girlfriend was actually pointless.” you add in a smaller voice, dropping your head down.   
“Baby,” Jungkook coos, fingers grasping your chin so you could look him in the eye again. “You're an amazing person. My parents know that too. You don't have to prove them your worth. Ever.”  
His words make you relax visibly. You don’t know what you would do if you didn’t have Jungkook by your side. He’s just being himself, showing you his extremely caring side as he usually does when you feel down but somehow you’re more thankful for this now.
You dip your index finger into the cream. Then, making sure his eyes are trained on your face, you bring your finger up and envelop with your lips, purposely sucking on it obscenely. “Mmm,” you nothing but moan. “It’s really good.”
“That sounded awfully sexual.”  
“No, it did not! You're just perverted.” 
“But you love me anyway, don't you?” 
You snort at his stupid remark. Suddenly, a not-so-innocent idea pops in your mind and you wonder who’s actually the one with more inappropriate thoughts running through their head. Jungkook might enjoy teasing you on daily basis, but a girl can have her fun too, right?  
Jungkook's eyes darken seeing your little stunt you’ve decided to pull today. He bites the inside of his cheek, before saying,”’I know what game you’re playing.”  
“I’m not doing anything.” you respond, feigning innocence. Before you can dive for more cream, Jungkook grabs your wrist and stops you.  
Bingo.  
When he takes his two fingers and plunges them into the cream, you know exactly what’s coming next, the adrenaline and excitement pumping through your veins. He brings his fingers up towards your face and you have to fight an urge to stay still, waiting for his instructions like the good girl you obviously are. “Open up, baby.”  
You oblige immediately, mouth falling open and tongue out. He pushes his fingers inside, sweet, chocolate cream filling your taste buds. “Suck.” he says simply, eyes fixated on your lips. You do it without a second thought, swirling your tongue around his digits and making sure to lick every last drop of the substance.  
When he decides he can't take it anymore, he pulls his fingers out of your mouth and before you can even blink, he crashes his lips onto yours; fast, messy and unforgiving, thrusting his tongue inside to play with yours. His motives are clear: you aren’t leaving the kitchen without getting properly fucked.  
“So sweet,” he murmurs against your lips, the hand around your waist pulling you flush against him. “My cute girlfriend thought she could tease me and get away with it.”  
He bites onto your lower lip as to prove his point and you whimper. “It’s not like that,” you manage to say, grinding yourself against the evident bulge in his pants. “I didn’t expect to get away with it.”  
Jungkook's hands travel to the backs of your thighs and he lifts you up effortlessly, placing you on the counter. You’re sure there are traces of flour still on it but you couldn’t care less right now, not when a pair of hands roughly nudges your legs apart so he could stand in between them.
“So you did it purposely,” Jungkook leaves your mouth in favor of tracing kisses down your neck. Careful not to marry your skin with hickeys because you would beat the shit out of him if he did bruise your neck a day before the dinner with his parents. “Naughty girl.” He punctuates his statement with a bite to your earlobe, his next words being whispered directly into your ear. “What should I do with you, then?”  
You whimper, your thighs pressing together just hearing the tone of his voice. You lace your fingers through the locks at the back of his hair and place a kiss against his lips. “Fuck me?” you ask in a saccharine-sweet tone.  
He chuckles in response, fingers grasping your t-shirt and pulling it off you, revealing your bare chest to his hungry eyes. He wastes no time and latches his mouth onto a nipple but as soon as his tongue meets your hardened bud, he retreats. Confused, you watch as he reaches for the bowl once again and dips his fingers into the cream. He then smears it all over your nipples, a proud smirk caught on his lips when he leans back to admire his art work.  
“Kook,” you mewl, too pathetically for your liking and you know how much it’ll stroke his ego. “Please, touch me.” you plea, one of your hands reaching to pull him closer to you.
“Yeah?” His chuckle is almost sinister. “Look at you, all dirty and begging me so nicely. Not that smart with your mouth now, are you?”  
All you manage is a nod and meek “Please,” that quickly morphs into a drawn out moan when he finally dips his head to suck your nipple into his hot mouth. You never could have guessed that the idea of food play would be so arousing to you but here you are, pussy clenching around nothing when your sweet boyfriend licks chocolate cream off your boobs.
When he’s done and satisfied with the result, he grabs your sweatpants and pulls them down along with your underwear in one go, your bare ass meeting with the cold marble of your kitchen counter. Jungkook wastes no time and spreads your legs apart, not giving you a second to shy away from his burning gaze before he dives in to lick a stripe up your slit.  
You cry out in pleasure when his tongue finds your clit and gives it a sharp suck, his hands grabbing your ankles and bending your knees so he could have a full access to your glistening core. You’re absolutely drenched, dripping down your thighs and making a mess on Jungkook's face but he doesn’t mind it a bit, eating you out like a champ you know he is.  
“So wet,” he rasps against your cunt. “Messy girl.”
To make matters worse (or better) he takes his sweet time and lets a glob of his spit mix with your arousal because Jungkook, much like you, enjoys giving a head more than anything in the world and makes it his priority to see you lose it on his tongue. You’re positive you will come like this if he keeps continuing abusing your clit just right. He knows your pussy like the back of his hand. Knows what makes you keen, how to make you eyes roll to the back of your head. It fuels his ego to see you like this; helpless and utterly devoted to the pleasure and you don’t even mind when he brags about it later. How could you if you benefit so much from it?  
Suddenly, he grunts into your cunt and your brows furrow because it’s not the sound you’re used to hearing during sex. You look down to check what’s wrong but he’s already up and in level with your eyes, a sheepish smile adoring his features.  
“Neck cramp,” he explains, his palm massaging the back of his neck. “Eating pussy is easier on the bed.” You can’t help but giggle, replacing his hand with yours and providing him a temporary relief. “I’m sorry. Were you close?” he asks. 
There he is. Your sweet, caring boyfriend who never forgets to ask for consent before railing you into the mattress and always putting your pleasure before his own.  
“Mhmm,” you hum, grasping his t-shirt and lifting it off his body. It should be considered a sin to look like this, you think to yourself. “But I want to come on your cock instead.”  
Jungkook grins, quickly pulling down his pants and underwear. His cock slaps against his stomach, pride swelling in your chest because you know you can make him this hard without your touch. “How do you want it?” he asks, guaranteeing himself a moment of relief when he gives his cock a few pumps, spreading precum all over his length.
“Like that,” you answer, gesturing at your current position on the counter. “Wanna see you.”  
“Anything for my pretty girl.”  
If you weren't already red, you would have blushed at his cute words. The sentiment doesn’t last long though, your face twisting in ecstasy when he lines himself up with your entrance and starts pushing inside, the stretch deliciously burning. “Oh my god, Kook,” you whimper, hand clutching onto his biceps for support. “So big. You feel so good.” He groans, slithering himself deeper. His forehead rests onto yours, few ragged breaths before you murmur, “You can move.”
He sets a punishing pace from the beginning, fucking you hard and fast; wet, slapping noises filling the kitchen. You’re a blubbering mess, moaning incoherently as he splits your pussy open, thrust after thrust. “Yeah, fucking take it,” Jungkook rasps, grabbing your hips even harder, no doubt leaving there marks. “Cream my cock like a good girl.”  
You mewl in response, your eyes focusing on his parted lips. “J-jungkook,” you stutter, head completely deprived of rational thoughts. “Spit in my mouth.” It’s almost a breathless plea on your tongue.  
He curses, his right hand squeezing your cheeks. “Open.” You do it right away, nearly moaning when he purses his lips and spits, eyes almost bulging out of his head when he sees you swallow it greedily. “Dirty fucking girl.” he growls.
“B-but you love it, right?” you whimper, eyes glossy because he's hitting that spot inside your pussy that makes your toes curl. “L-love when I’m like this just for you.”  
“Fuck, yeah I do,” Jungkook says, placing his hand around your throat. He doesn’t apply pressure and simply rests it there, urging you to look directly at him. “I love when my pretty baby becomes a dirty slut for me.” He punctuates his words with a harsh buck of his hips that makes you cry out.
You can't take it anymore. “K-kook,” you whine, grabbing his wrist and urging him to squeeze your throat. “I love you.”  
Despite his hand around your neck and cock abusing your cunt, he breaks into a smile. He leans down to kiss you on your putty lips. You try to keep up with him but there’s no use for that, so you just open your mouth and let him slither his tongue inside. When he pulls away, your lips are wet with saliva. Messy, but you wouldn’t exchange it for anything less. “Love you too, baby.” he groans in a strained voice, dragging his cock fast through your walls.
As if reading your mind, his thumb reaches to rub fast circles on your clit. “’m so close,” you mumble, thighs shaking.
“C'mon, pretty. Wanna see you come around me.” Jungkook murmurs, gone is his dominant aura, it’s now only his gentle voice coaxing you into an earth-shattering orgasm.  
When you come down from your high, you’re swatting his fingers away from your core. Normally you would probably indulge into it more, but oversensitivity seems to be too much to handle for you today. Jungkook thrusts his hips a few more times and follows right after you, groaning your name and spilling himself inside.  
“That was nice.” he comments breathlessly  and you can’t help but chuckle, widing your arms around his neck and pulling him for a well-deserved kiss.  
“I’m too tired to move my legs and somebody needs to finish the cake,” you pout, not an ounce of exaggeration in your statement because that’s utterly true–you’re always too spent after a round of fucking with Jungkook to even go to the bathroom on your own. He gladly carries you there in his arms bridal-style every, single time.
“It's okay, sweetheart. I’ll do it.” he says, making you giggle under your breath triumphantly.  
You might be willing to do everything for you boyfriend but if anything, you’re equal in that department.  
“I’m also pretty sure there’s flour on my ass.”  
Jungkook raises his brow at you. “That I’m not going to clean.”  
“Fine. But next time I'm putting whipped cream on your dick.” you decide.  
When he pulls out of you, his cum spills out of your hole but he's quick to catch the droplets and push them back inside you with his fingers. “You’re a little minx, you know that, right?” he says and then licks his digits clean.  
“You love me anyway.” He grins, leaning to kiss you but he stops mid-way. “What is it?” you ask, raising your brows.
“Since I came inside you, we can call it a creampie, right?”  
Still slightly dazed after sex, you’re not quick enough to realise what he implies before it’s too late. “I mean yes but–oh my god. No, no, no! Stop!”  
“Cream-pie!”  
“I hate you!”  
“And I love you too.”  
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After all, you were worrying about the dinner too much, as always.  
Everybody complimented your cake. Jungkook's mother was delighted. His father talked about fishing for almost an hour.
But your sweet boyfriend's smirking face as he ate the cake was telling you were in for a long night of sinning in your bed as soon as you went back home.  
And he obviously didn’t disappoint.  
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tastyykpop · 3 years
Text
𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛-Final
Pairings: jaemin x reader
Genre: smut, fluff (mostly at the end but it's short 🤠)
<previous>
Warnings: dom!jaemin, brat!reader, brat taming, punishment, overstimulation, edging, face slapping (literally slaps her once), choking (wOw iM sO sHocKeD), hair grabbing, degradation, jaemins gets angrier throughout the story, fingering, finger sucking, praising, unprotected sex, soft sex, y/ns pretty dumb but I think we knew that by now, once again jaemin calls himself nana because shut up
Tag list: @ahgastayzen @allykookiez @wooyugta @dreamlesswonder86 @taetaeismy @nanaysa @patchi-chi @simplicitysbabe @sweetjaemss @huangvibez @kaitherring @xxjaemchenct
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It was obvious how tense and awkward jaemin was the entire time you stayed at his house, which lasted longer than you thought. You stayed for two days, per jaemins request, and you thought what if he's finally angry and decides to break. No, it was the complete and utter opposite. Jaemin was sweet, something you've barely seen when he used to bully or make fun of you before all this happened. He made sure you were okay staying with him another night and took care of you when you weren't hungover.
Did anything special happen though? Nope, just you and jaemin cuddling every so often while binge watching Netflix shows while he sometimes cracked jokes here and there.
It was definitely a sight to see. Even made you wonder if this is what its like to date him.
"Nana," you spoke, jaemin lifting his head off your shoulders to give you his attention, "Get up, we need to go to school."
Jaemin groaned, putting his head down on your pillow like chest and began, "Can't we just skip school?" He whined, "Maybe play a bit too?" Jaemin lifted his chin up, placing it on top of your breasts as he pouted, waiting for you to give into his cuteness.
Wouldn't that be nice- but you weren't going to miss school to mess around with jaemin. No way. You weren't even his girlfriend yet and you were sure his little play thing, seulgi, wouldn't be too happy, shes been calling him since he brought you here.
"No." You grabbed him by his hair and peeled him off your body. Jaemin wasn't very amused by the action.
"Oh i get it." He mumbled, "You want to see jeno, right?"
The question caught you off guard. But jaemin being jealous wasn't unknown to you anymore. He was possessive, that much you knew, and he always found a way to guilt trip you about it.
"I mean, we have been talking a lot more so a lil bit." You smiled, earning an eye roll from jaemin as he got up with nothing else to say and stalked his closet for something to wear. You glanced at your clothes which were actually his. And since you never went back to your apartment to get another outfit, you had to wear what you wore at the party.
Eyes stared into your bare back after you threw off the shirt that covered your body. They lingered, but didn't settle on staying until you slipped the bralette on.
Jaemin was going to comment about it, yet kept his mouth shut because there was no use saying he could give you a t-shirt instead, youd just complain about how it didn't match.
But the skirt was a different story. It was a party skirt, something way too short for school. No wonder jeno liked it. And to be honest, jaemin didn't hate it himself, he'd just rather not have people like jeno staring at you and your thighs. You were his. At least in his head you were.
"Fuck!" You screamed, "My bags at home." Softening your voice, jaemin just about wanted to smack you for scaring the shit out of him. He actually thanked the heavens your bag wasn't here, it gave you a reason to change.
"Let's go to your place quickly before school starts." Jaemin grabbed his things and you nodded, following behind him almost speed walking because of how long his strides were. "And change when we get there too."
You looked down at your fit and hummed, stepping into the car ready for jaemin to go.
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"I don't think I can handle trig anymore." You bit your lip at the paper in hand. Jaemin looked down over your shoulder and almost scoffed. It was the homework due today, of course it was also one of the hardest pages the professor had given the class too, making it ten times harder for you to finish.
"If you had come over these past few nights, you wouldn't be so stressed." Jaemin shrugged.
It was like you knew he would say that with the way you rolled your eyes and crumpled the paper up, "Im actually thinking of dropping that class." You stated.
"Dont." He rested a hand on your shoulder, "Come over later and I'll help you." It wasn't even a question, in fact it was him telling you to do something. Its clear jaemins had enough of you ignoring him and hes also fed up with your complaining. Even wondered why you held out this long.
"But-"
"I'm not taking no for an answer anymore." Jaemin stated sternly as he sighed, stopping in front of your classroom and put his hands in his pocket. "Stop trying to ignore me," he leaned forward, just inches away from your face, "its not working."
"Just because you think its not working doesn't mean its not working...." You tilted your head to the side questioning your own words, "Anyway, you're jealous." Crossing your arms and leaning against the wall, your ego fed off of jaemins glaring eyes.
"Bullshit," jaemin tsked, "why would I be jealous?"
You smirked despite knowing you were playing a dangerous game with him. And jaemins good at playing games, he's done it to you for years.
You took a step forward, ultimately getting closer to his still leaned over figure and said, "You kept staring at jeno and I at the cafe and you had an attitude the entire time. Its obvious you know." Slithering a hand up his cheek, you pinched his smooth skin, "Nanas jealous."
It was an understatement to say jaemin didn't feel shivers go up his spine from your low voice. For once jaemin didn't have anything to come up with. Nothing crossed his mind to tell you that what you saw of him wasn't him being jealous, but that would be the dumbest of lies.
"Quiet for once? That's a first." You snickered at the small shade of red on his cheeks. It was either anger or him actually getting flustered. Either way you still claimed victory for keeping him surprisingly quiet.
Jaemin pulled your hand away from his face and opened his mouth, "Admit that you're purposely doing it then. There's no way you and jeno are magically good friends now. You hate him just as much as you hated me."
"Im not purposely making you jealous," you lied, "And I never hated jeno, just strongly disliked him for being friends with you."
The older almost laughed in your face from how stupid your lie was. "If you want my attention, say it." He smirked, proceeding to push you against the wall behind you without a second thought making you uncross your arms, "Its not hard y/n."
His hands trailed down to your waist, intensly watching your face as you looked around him, afraid that what he'd do will go too far and some students will see a not so innocent sight.
"Youre full of yourself." You inhaled sharply as he leaned forward ever so closely, just barely brushing his lips over yours.
"And you'll be full of nana soon." Jaemin almost closed the space between you with his lips, but someone stopped him.
"Jaemin!!!" Seulgi came running up to jaemin in her cute high heeled shoes. Her hair bouncing perfectly against her back as she pulled him away from you and into a hug, not before she planted a kiss to his lips as if you weren't standing right there, "I haven't seen you in so long, babe. You didn't call." She pouted with more puppy eyes than normal.
You missed the way jaemin growled at her, almost throwing seulgi off him since you were so focused on them kissing. Never did you think you'd witness it either. Something about it made your stomach churn and you couldnt bare stand there for long before walking away, taking zero notice of the way jaemin called out for you.
"Let's get some coffee before the bell rings." Seulgi pulled jaemin, but his eyes still lingered on the door you entered.
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You couldnt stop your mind from racing in class. It was like your mind was playing games on you, telling you that jaemin wasn't in the slightest interested in you and thats why he never answered you, because he was too embarrassed to be seen with someone like you.
But that was only you overthinking.
Obviously jaemin cared for you, he wouldnt have let you stay over his house, tutored you, or be possessive when it came to you. So why did he kiss her back? In front of you too? Was he actually dating her for real?
These questions ran through your head, giving you a mini headache from thinking too hard about it.
It was like you were in high school all over again where everything was dramatic for no reason, well in some aspects you made it this way, but your point still stands.
"Y/n," someone tapped the table repeatedly, bringing you back to reality, "Class is over." jeno looked at you with suspicion but brushed it off thinking you were probably tired.
You glanced around the empty room before looking back at jeno, "Oh...yeah."
"Well uh," he scratched the back of his head, "You should probably get to your next class."
That's the last thing you wanted to do. Jaemin would be there and so was one of seulgis minions that always kept an eye out for anything he did. As annoying as it was, you weren't surprised anymore.
"Im gonna skip."
Jeno grimaced as you stood up and grabbed your things, walking towards the rooms exit as he followed close behind, "You? Skip? What the fuck??"
You stopped in your tracks, jeno almost bumbing into you in the process, "Do I need to spell it out for you or something? S-k-"
"No shut up. Its just shocking that your skipping." Jeno half grinned at the way you stared at him stoically.
"What are you getting at?"
The man before you chuckled, "Im saying youre a goody two shoes and you've never done a bad thing in your life."
You can't say he was wrong, but you also have to admit that you have stepped out of your shell recently and maybe for the better.
"Everyone changes some time in their lives." You pointed out, strolling out of the class to nowhere specific. "Better run to class jeno, dont want the teacher calling you put again."
"Yeah yeah." He eye smiled, giving you a quick pat on the back before saying bye and walking to his class.
You couldnt help but smile at him as he moved further and further away. You had to admit, jeno wasn't as bad as you thought. Not anymore anyway. But as jeno soon disappeared around a corner, you sighed and sauntered to the library where you were going to do your work until class ended.
Students were scattered everywhere in the library, some typing away at their laptops or school computers while others had papers and books sprawled out in front of them. Unfortunately for you, you were going to be the ones with almost any school supply in front of them. And with a sigh and slouched shoulders, you sat at an empty desk near the front of the library, taking your homework out as well as some books.
Normally it wouldn't be a problem for you to focus, but it was stressful with so many things laid out for you. Face palming and groaning quietly at your trig paper, you attempted the first problem which honestly didn't seem too bad, but you weren't always so sure of yourself when doing these kinds of things. Mostly because you second guessed yourself making you pick the wrong answer when you were originally right.
"This is so fucking stupid." You threw your head into your hands, giving up on trying since it was useless anyway. You needed jaemin. He was the only reason you started getting some good grades on your work.
"Whats stupid?"
Speak of the devil.
"The trig home- wait why aren't you in class?" You gazed at him before averting your eyes, not trying to let them linger too long.
Jaemin pulled a chair out and sat closely beside you, raising a brow as you inched away from him. "I could ask you the same thing." He tipped the chair back a little, keeping his eyes locked on the side of your stoic face.
"Im doing something if you can't tell." You snapped, instantly regretting the way your voice raised once you noticed jaemin clenching his jaw out the corner of your eye. But you couldnt help it, you were still frustrated, embarrassed, and jealous from earlier.
"Whats wrong?" Jaemin calmed himself, not wanting to blow up at you.
"Nothing." You ignored his eyes that watched you do out the problem. Probably silently telling you that it was all wrong but you weren't trying to pay attention to him.
"Youre doing it again."
"Doing what? I'm just trying to do my work." After writing your answer down, you checked over tbe work before you smiled to yourself. This had to be the right answer.
"Stop playing dumb." he grabbed your chin, "You know what you're doing."
Wiggling out of his grasp was no use, jaemin managed to move his hand to your jaw to keep you still.
You winced at the sudden squeeze, "I dont know what you're talking about."
Jaemin had enough of this bullshit, now grabbing your neck instead. Your eyes wondered the room hoping no one was paying attention, "Im not playing games with you. Why are you ignoring me again?"
"That's a good question." You looked away and though jaemims grip was starting to hurt more each second, you still found a way to show your disinterest.
Jaemin sighed, letting his hand drop and you inhaled deeply without a second thought. "Whats wrong then?"
"I told you its nothing."
"Bullshit." Jaemin took the pencil out of your hand just as you were about to write, your hand flying up to try and take it back but he pulled away.
"You really wanna know then?" You asked sharply to which jaemin nodded, "You kissed seulgi. Happy now?"
Jaemins mouth fell at your confession. Yes he figured that upset you a bit, but he never thought it was enough for you to ignore him.
"I never even went that far with jeno."
"Never went that far, huh?" He snapped back, shaking his head in disbelief as his face once again was steaming with anger. "Need i remind you how you made out with him at the party. Or were you that wasted and cant remember?"
The new found anger overlapped the previous one with more than just anger, but annoyance. There was no way jaemin was telling the truth, you would never kiss jeno.
"No i didnt."
"Dont tell me you didn't, I fucking saw it." His hand found its way on the table creating a loud bam that startled not only you, but a few kids that even lifted their heads to see what caused the noise. "You were the first one to go that far, so blame yourself before you blame me."
Taking a deep breath, you had to calm down before you said something you'd regret. Knowing jaemin too, you already had something waiting for you at his house.
"I believe you." Jaemin was ready to open his mouth but you were quick and responded, "because i remember." The problem with this answer was because it was untruthful. You already dug yourself a whole from the beginning yet you knew what you were getting yourself into. There was something about playing with jaemins anger that made you go wild.
Determined with your lie, you kept the straightest face like it was proof you recalled that night. Jaemin too was focused only on your face, his hand balling into a fist ever so slowly.
"I remember....he was a really good kisser," you whispered, "And you looked so mad." Snickering away at your words, you placed a hand on jaemins lap and watched his expression go from anger to almost frothing at the mouth.
Bingo. He was too far gone to see through you at this point and this is where you smirked to yourself.
"You're unbelievable." He scoffed, rolling his eyes thinking about how fed up he was, "Lets go."
Despite being told what to do, you sat looking between jaemin and your sprawled out homework. "I have things to do."
Jaemin literally shoved all your papers into your bag, not caring how they crumpled in the small space as you complained and swatted at his arm. Of course though, jaemin payed no mind to it, grabbing your hand and bag before dragging you out of the library.
You fought and struggled to get out of his grip. From the start you knew what you were getting into, that's why you did what you did. Now being dragged to his house it dawned on you that it was time to suffer whatever he had in mind.
"When we get to my house," jaemin locked his eyes with yours as he led you to his car, "We'll study trig, and depending on my mood and your attitude after, I might go easy with the punishment later."
"Im not going over to study and then be punished afterwards." Your voice faltered as you saw a familiar someone walking towards you and jaemin.
Jenos eyes lit up sadistically, smiling at you, telling you to smile back for one reason: to set jaemin off.
You did without hesitation, jaemins hold getting tighter and tighter as he glared at his best friend who walked by, holding the proudest grin on his face.
Once at the car, jaemin shoved you inside the passenger seat, slamming the door before he situated himself in the drivers side. Your eyes watched in annoyance yet you were intrigued. Maybe because you haven't had any action with jaemin since about a week ago.
Resting your head against the headrest, you stared outside the window. There wasn't any way you could hold another conversation with the man, it would only drive your hormones insane.
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Its been thirty minutes and to say you were paying attention would be the stupidest thing ever. every word that jaemin said went in one ear and out the other. Some part of you was purposely choosing to ignore him, but your attention span was almost non existent in the first place. So listening to jaemin talk about trigonometry was only boring you.
You tapped out, playing with your pencil or doodling on the paper. Each time you weren't paying attention, jaemin would ask you to write down the answer or a land a slap right on your thigh. It stung and made up jump with shock in your eyes as jaemin told you the same thing each time: "pay attention." But did you? God no. It was impossible. With the thought of a punishment too, it made your mind run like it was in a marathon.
"Little girl," jaemins voice once again brought you back to reality, "what did nana just say?" You shrugged your shoulders slightly, keeping your head down like you were shy yet you were far from it, holding a small grin on your innocent face.
"I dont know, nor do I care." You finally looked up. Jaemin was none too happy, letting his chest fall.
Shaking his head, he said once more to listen and pay attention.
Jaemin took your pencil so he could write out the problem for you, deciding to be nice even though you weren't returning it. You watched the way his pretty hands flexed with every number or letter he wrote. The subtle veins showing every so often too made you almost drool at the sight. Oh what you would do to have him wrap his hands around your neck again.
"Solve it." Jaemin threw the pencil down in front of you, resting his head in his hand to watch you. But you didn't move, not even a simple budge.
"No."
"Y/n its not that fucking hard, just solve it."
You glanced at the paper then the pencil that laid on the table before grabbing it and snapping it in half.
"Im not doing it." You faked a smile, ready for jaemin to snap just like the pencil.
"You need to pass this class, y/n. Stop messing around and pay attention."
You shot up from your seat, "I. Dont. Care. I'm going home."
It wasn't long before he suddenly stood up too, grabbing you by the hair and threw you on his bed, "Okay you wanna act up?" He hovered over you, pinning your arms down on the soft bed as he straddled your lower half. "I dont get why you continue to act like a brat when you know you're going to be punished. Unless you want it?" Jaemins face was merely inches in front of yours not until you blew into his face and smirked when he flinched and pulled away.
"Ever wonder why I act this way? Your easy to push, I can get in your head and make you get mad so I get exactly what I want." You snickered, "Not to mention its to make you suffer for not answering my question." A hand was placed on his covered chest, rubbing small circles on the fabric of the shirt.
Suddenly, jaemin laughed. Though, it wasn't a joyful one. It was more sadistic and filled with amusement, "How is it making me suffer if you're the one about to be punished?"
"Cuz i still get what I want in the end."
"My dick or my attention?"
"Both."
Jaemnn chuckled dryly, quickly sitting back and tearing your clothes off without a second thought.
You were ready to protest about your clothes until jaemin took matters in his own hands and shoved his fingers nearly down your throat to shut you up.
"Im tired of your voice." He spat, "All you talk is shit."
Whimpering around his fingers, you tried anything in your power to try and pry them out. He never moved back, sticking his fingers deeper and deeper until he heard you gag and whine the best you could. Your throat felt so tight and it was getting harder to breathe. Jaemin didn't care, deciding to just fuck your mouth with his fingers as he started pulling your pants and panties down, lifting his hips up so he can take them off all the way.
"It would be so much nicer if you weren't a brat you know." Jaemin began, easily shoving two fingers inside your dripping cunt, "Nana could've stuffed you full of his cock, made love to you, and made you happy. Instead," his fingers that were buried in your heat, curled and pushed in a certain way that made your eyes roll, "You wanted to be a little bitch."
You drew out a long hum, the pleasure felt so good after pushing jaemin for so long. All his anger was going to this one punishment and you should've felt scared, but you weren't. You were excited and loved every bit of it.
The way he fingered you was almost too surreal. It made your body crumple against his will and he wasn't even fucking you yet.
It was getting harder to breathe being filled by his two fingers. Just barely becoming too overwhelming so you tapped his hand to signal you needed to breathe. Jaemin took his hand out, watching your face to make sure you were okay as you gasped for air.
"Are y-you try-trying to kill me or s-something?" You moaned at one particular hard thrust that made your breath hitch.
"Oh shut up, I know you liked it. Probably imagined my cock down your throat." He bit his lip, taking in the thought of what you would look like on your knees for him before shaking it off.
"I-i was n-not."
Jaemin smirked devishly, scissoring his fingers to stretch you out more, but you kept clenching around him. Your hand grabbed his wrists in a death grip, moans fell from your open mouth and jaemin ate that all up. Loving how your body shook, knowing you were so close.
Right when you felt your orgasm coming, jaemin ripped his fingers out of you, essentially letting your juices flow out. But you didn't cum, no you were just that wet.
Your hips lifted up like you would get friction but there was nothing to get friction from, you looked dumb and pathetic.
"Not fair..." you mumbled, frowning at the annoying smirk on jaemins face.
"Punishments aren't supposed to be fair," he said a matter of factly, pushing your hips back down on your bed as he grazed his fingers over your wetness before pushing back in again.
This time setting a ruthless pace, taking in your fucked out expression.
"Jaemin- please im s-so close." Fidgeting and clawing at his wrists, the orgasm built back up. It got closer, closer, closer. Right there, it was right there, but jaemin took it away from you again.
"God, I love this way more than I should. Breaking a brat is so much fun." His fingers dripped with your arousal. He stared at the strand connecting his fingers. It was so much and so lewd, it should've been embarrassing to you yet it made him want more from you. "How many times should nana edge his pretty girl? Maybe-"
"Fuck you." You cried, ready to take this into your own hands and finish yourself off.
Jaemins hand made a perfect necklace on your neck, tightening his grip on the sides so you felt all his anger, "Thats the last thing I would say if I were you."
"W-what are y-you gonna do? Spank me?" Thinking he actually would if you said that, you were slapped across the face, eyes not staring at jaemin anymore but the wall next to the bed.
"Dont test me anymore, your already in for it." He growled into your ear. Leaving his hand wrapped around your neck, he slipped back inside, this time fucking his fingers into you at an antagonizing slow pace.
You wanted to scream and push him away for being a tease, but you reminded yourself that this is what you wanted, this was what you'll get. You had no idea how long this pain will continue though. All you could think about was cumming. In fact, that was the only thing on your mind as he fingered your tight pussy. The pain of not being able to orgasm was so unbearable, it just about made your eyes tear up. Were you that desperate that you'd cry over it?
"I wanna...c-cum so bad..."
The man above you stared at you in disbelief. He basically just started and you were already a mess.
"You really want to cum that badly?" You nodded hastily, tears at the brink of falling, you couldnt hold it in anymore, "Then apologize for all the shit you put us through. Starting with you ignoring me, fake dating jeno, and purposely pissing me off for the hell of it." Jaemin said with his whole chest. Being able to say it out loud reminded him of everything. From the time you started this crap, to now.
"I-im sorry- I'm so f-fucking sorry, jaemin." You forced yourself to look into his eyes, his angry red eyes that tore into your soul to find any lie, yet you had none. You meant what you said with full honesty, "Please nana, l-let me cum."
Jaemin simply gave you a nod and thats when you let everything out. You came all over his fingers but jaemin didn't stop nor slow down. He kept the same rough pace as before and you could only scream and cry from the sensitivity.
Then jaemin started rubbing and pinching your sensitive clit before giving your cunt a slap that made you jolt and cry out.
"Ahh- w-wait jae-mmm....s-so sensitive."
Jaemin rolled his eyes, "thought you wanted to cum? I'm giving you what you want, babe."
Your legs closed around his fingers though it didn't stop him from curling and fucking them inside. He could just easily push them open yet he found your sensitivity amusing which led you to cum again without warning.
"What a pathetic little fucking brat you are." He gathered the white substance that leaked from your clentching hole and shoved it back in, "Making such a mess of yourself."
Your back arched, even more sensitive than before.
The hand on your neck moved down to your breast, squeezing at your nipples and playing with everything he could get his hand on. Your nipples were so sensitive that that alone could make you cry and moan just from a simple touch.
His fingers brushed against your sweet spot where you screamed his name. Being over sensitive made everything feel more pleasurable and painful. Every small touch on your pussy brought you to a shaking pleasure that you couldnt control. It was becoming too much and too overwhelming.
"Fuck, are you gonna cum again? It hasn't even been five minutes." He watched, eyes filled with amazement as you shook and once again, came on his sheets and fingers.
Your shaking didn't stop though, it was like the kind of shake you get when your cold, though you were far from it. The intensity of this orgasm was just too much where even jaemin had to pull his fingers out and let you breathe for a moment.
"You okay, baby?" He asked quietly, kissing your temple as you nodded your head, "Can you give nana one more then?" Not wanting to stop, you nodded without a thought causing jaemin to smile and lean back.
Jaemin finally got rid of his clothing, crawling back on the bed before giving you a kiss so you wouldn't notice how he slipped his cock inside.
Surprisingly jaemin took his time pushing in, savoring your sweet little moans that drove him crazy. He started and kept a slow pace that made the overwhelming feeling dissolve away. Now you were wrapping your legs around his waist and staring into the soft eyes of jaemins that were just red a second ago.
Every vein against your walls made you feel ecstasy. Jaemin was careful with each thrust and it felt like pure love. They were passionate and he didn't fail to show it.
"Taking nanas cock so well, just like the good girl you are." Jaemin smiled at your beautiful face that contorted into pleasure. Both of your moans filled the room. More cuss words were thrown from you like it was the only thing in your dictionary.
The lewd sounds of your bodys bounced off the walls as jaemin fucked you slow and steady, grabbing your hips gently as he kissed all over your face, neck, and breasts. He sucked on your skin here and there, creating small bruises that looked like a tattoo as you grabbed the back of his head, lifting him up by the hair to bring his face to yours so you could place a kiss to his red lips.
The kiss was sloppy and slow. Neither of you cared though, both focused on your orgasms that kept coming closer.
Jaemins thrusts stuttered and his cock twitched inside you. The hand in jaemins hair pulled and messed up his locks, sure to create a messy sight later on.
" 'm gon-gonna cum." You moaned, lifting your hips up to meet his along the way.
"Cum, princess."
The final orgasm left your body feeling like it was on a cloud while all you saw were stars making jaemin coo at your fucked out face.
Pulling out, jaemin finished on your stomach before letting his body fall next to yours, wrapping an arm around your hips and pulling you into him..
You both panted out of tiredness, neither one bothering to move as you were both spent.
"Did I hurt you, princess? Are you feeling okay?"
You smiled into his chest, "no you didn't hurt me and I feel fine."
"Good." Jaemin smiled, petting your hair before laying his head on top of yours, "Wanna go on a date?"
You swear your heart stopped as your face heated up, "Jaemin, you're doing everything backwards."
"So is that a yes or no?"
"Of course its a yes!"
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It was a peaceful restaurant that jaemin brought you to, saying it was supposed to be a place a lot of couples went to which you thought was absolutely sweet of him.
"So...uh." jaemin looked anywhere but your face like he didn't just have sex with you for the second time.
You snickered and sipped the drink in your hand, "Why are you so awkward all of a sudden? Its just me."
"I know it's just- I feel like I can't say what I wanna say because I'm afraid." Jaemin sighed.
"Of what exactly?" You placed the drink down, watching as jaemin fumbled with the menu before he covered his mouth and mumbled something you coulsnt quite grasp, "What did you say?"
"...nothing."
"Jaemin."
His doe eyes stared into yours like it was some sort of contest, wanting you to look away first but you and he did, "Alright fine. I said I'm a bit nervous if I were to ask you out."
Tilting your head to the side, you puffed your cheeks out in confusion, "Why?"
"The last relationship I had, the girl cheated on me. Afterwards she said it was because i wasn't good enough." He frowned, returning his attention back to the menu where you presumed was his hiding place for the time being.
"Well she's a bitch and is missing out on an amazing person." You pushed the menu down, "Is that why you acted that way when you saw jeno and I at the cafe? Did you think I thought you weren't good enough?"
Jaemin nodded slowly, "Kind of. I didn't want to lose someone I loved again."
"Loved? Na jaemin-"
"Dont say it." He groaned.
"You've gotten soft! Does this mean what I think it means?" You quirked a suggestive brow at him causing him to put his head in his hand.
"Yes, ill be your boyfriend." He said in his hand before you took it away and grabbed his face to kiss him. "I- princess when did you become do confident?"
"When did you become so shy?"
"Fair point."
Everything felt right all of a sudden. No more of jaemin being your bully. No more coffee being poured on your head. No more stupid high school drama that wasn't even drama in the first place. It was all right for once. And you couldnt say you could complain. After weeks, you got what you struggled to have before; na jaemin.
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Text
~Perfect Birthday~
Au: Kaishi
Part: twelve
Theme: Fluff? Comedy? Who knows lol
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(These 2 are going on an adventure)
"Buttercream? No that wont do. Vanilla with a touch of banana or Strawberry? Shoot! What about...hmmm...." You focused on the ingredients so hard that you were developing a light headache. Meanwhile, your husband sat across from you at the kitchen table, scrolling through his laptop for themes and present ideas. "Y/N, just settle on chocolate and call it a day." Kai announced while his eyes hovered on a Circus theme. He shuddered lightly at the thought of animals being involved. 'Absolutely not' he thought to himself. You sighed and put the ingredients list down. "I cant settle on Chocolate. I'm worried that someone might have an allergy to it. I'm also so worried about the vegan adults that might be here. What about the picky eaters too? Kai, I feel like I'm going insane right now." You gripped the sides of the chair you sat on. He peeked up at you and notices your incoming distress. He sighed and stood up to move behind you. He softly gripped each of your shoulders and began to give you an impromptu massage. "Stop worrying so much about it so much, Angel. Just do chocolate cake since its the brat's favorite flavor. We can go with a vegan cupcake option that should be safe for the people with chocolate allergies as well. As for the others, there will be other food and even beverage options. You're working so hard for people I dont even care about. This is all for my son and no one else but him. His happiness is my only concern."
You sighed and reached up to place a hand on your husband before turning to smile sweetly at him. "Kai, you're being sweet today." You teased him and he scoffed. "Anyway, I know you only want to focus on Kaishi but having other kids here for the first time, other than Ishida, is like his dream come true. It took me a lot of time to get on the parents good sides. It took a lot of time for them to want to bring other kids around Kaishi because if the yakuza affiliations. Had it not been for the fact that you've began working into charity for the city, I dont think anyone would've given us a chance. Bow we have parent friends, and now Kaishi has a chance for an amazing birthday this year. Let's not mess this up, okay? That means NO EXCESSIVE GERMAPHOBIA, and NO ANTISOCIAL BEHAVIOR okay?" You drilled it home at the end. He sighed in annoyance. "Ugh fine. I'll try to conversate with the other scum as if they never insulted the yakuza before. You had better be lucky I appreciate you and Kaishi at this point or this wouldn't be happening." Kai complained before pulling his medical mask down and kissing you lightly on your lips. "You two are being icky again. I'm going to tell Grandpa on you guys." Kaishi's voice brought you two back to reality. "Oh hush, and mind your business." Kai said as he ruffled his son's short hair playfully. Kaishi giggled and swatted the gloved hand away. He took a seat at the kitchen table next to Kai's laptop and peeked over to see what was on the screen. While you went to fix him some oatmeal, his father bolted to the seat and slapped the laptop closed. "No peeking. Havent you any manners?" Kai fussed lightly while Kaishi smiled. "Its okay daddy, I already know you two are planning my birthday for tomorrow." The boy said proudly. "That may be so, but it doesnt mean we cant at least surprise you with the decorations and food." Kai explained. You placed breakfast in front of Kaishi and sat down with your boys. Pops had just entered the kitchen at this point. "Family breakfast? Dont mind if I do." He smiled and took a seat next to you. "Grandpa, what will you give me for my birthday?" Kaishi asked excitedly. Kai flicked his cheek. "Dont be rude brat, respect your elders." He scolded him as Pops laughed. "Oh calm down, Chisaki my boy. My grandson is very calm at this age compared to how you used to act." Pops said with a smirk as you laughed and Kai blushed lightly with embarrassment. "Anyway, my Grandchild your gift will have to remain a surprise until tomorrow." Pops winked and Kaishi groaned. "Aw man. Well, mom/dad? What will you get me?" He turned to look at you in anticipation. You put a finger to your chin to think for a second. Then you snapped and made an 'Ah-Ha' expression. "I'm going to get you a fancy suit! Maybe I'll get some toys too. Just maybe, you'll have to wait and see." You teased him and he smiled. "Daddy, what about you?" He looked at Kai for an answer. "Just like Pops said, it will be a surprise. However, I'll take the time now to ask you what you want as a gift from all of us. It'll serve separately from the gifts we'll get you so dont worry." Kai watched his son expectantly as Kaishi searched his little mind. Seconds later he piped up excitedly:
"SMOOGLY!!!" He shouted happily and raised his arms dramatically in the air. You and Pops laughed while Kai tilted his head in confusion. "Smoo-what? Are you well? Are you speaking in tongues???" Kaishi giggled at his father's confusion. You turned towards Kai to explain. "Kai, Smoogly is a character from Kaishi's favorite show. He's this giant lollipop that dances and sings. Yknow, kids love that stuff." Kai stared at you for a second before nodding. Then he turned his attention back to Kaishi eating breakfast finally. "Alright then, you want Smoogly then that's what you'll get." After breakfast, Kaishi went to call Ishida on the phone. You monitored in awe, gushing as your baby talked to his little crush over the phone. The two were fast friends, and she was the first/only child in the class to accept and support Kaishi to the fullest degree. Meanwhile, Pops went to the backyard to water the flowers and feed the Koi in the pond. Kai headed out to the car to call Kurono/pick him up. "Chrono, I know I've given you the off day but I need a favor." Kai spoke on the car wireless phone while he drove. "Yeah man, what's up?" Hari answered from the other side. He was currently face deep in a 3rd bag of chips as he reclined on his sofa. "The brat's birthday is tomorrow and it's his first big one with other parents and children expected to be there. He wants some actor there to perform or something. Some thing called Smogie or Smothly or something like that."
"OHHHHH!!!! You're talking about Smoogly!" Hari shouted excitedly, his voice boomed over the car speakers. "Yeah whatever that mess is. Anyway, help me track him down and I'll give you tomorrow off to repay you from today. You can also have some leftover cake." Kai offered him. "Bet!" Kurono answered shortly before hanging up and getting ready. In moments Kai was at his door to retrieve him. The two men drove around for a bit while Kurono did some searching online. Lucky for him, it wasn't that hard to find Smoogly's booking information. "Found it, Kai. It says here that we can email and make a down payment, or call the home offices for a response in about...14 days." Kai almost slammed on the breaks. "14 days??? No that's not possible for a booking that could be denied. My Kaishi's birthday is tomorrow. We need to get this Smoogly there as soon as possible." He felt a bit of panic set in. Kai would never forgive himself if he couldn't get his son's biggest wish for his birthday. "Hey man chill. We'll just go to his office and speak to him directly. I mean, we've got a little pull when it comes to money. Also, we're yakuza so..."
"I know what you're thinking Chrono, and the answer is no. We cant push too many buttons or we'll end up leaving the gray area in which we operate in. I cant afford to get arrested on Kaishi's birthday." Hari rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Whatever man. Just take a left onto the main freeway and we should reach the exit in like 30 minutes. After that, we just follow the main road for 4 more minutes, take a right at the stop light, and turn off the Broadway drive. Smoogly's office should be right between a steak restaurant and a car dealership." Hari explained the directions. Kai nodded and the two were on their way. Once they made it to the offices, they took a number and sat in the waiting room. The wait wasnt uncomfortable to Kai...it was the old man across from them that kept coughing that made him uncomfortable. He felt hives pop up on his arms. Luckily the two were called before he went insane! Only minutes later they were standing before a chubby man smoking a cigarette behind a desk. He had dark hair, and was balding right in the middle of his head. His skin was just a step away from being super pale (no doubt because he had the costume on a lot) His noticable feature was the large mole on his cheek. He was clearly a foreigner from some city somewhere, thanks to his accent.
(!!!Reader, think about Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force!!!)
"Alright, what can I do for you two men? Wait a minute, you two are the tax guys right?"
"Uhhh, no. No we're here to inquire about an opening to hire you? The pay will of course be-"
"Yeah yeah yeah. Pay doubled blah blah. I've heard this a million times before. I get bastards like you that come in here every single day asking to pay extra just so I can come to your event. The moms are even worse since they also think they're entitled to my services." The chubby man interrupted Kai. "Please. It's my son's birthday. You see, this birthday is special because he's never had-"
"Pshhh...yeah buster, you're kid is special. Just like everyone else that's come in here before you to say the same thing. Bottom line is that I ain't doing it. If you want my services than file through email or take it up with the front desk. Deposits non-refundable if you get denied. Have a nice day." He put out the cigarette and picked up a rather inappropriate nude magazine. Kai looked at Chrono and sighed as if to say Hari can take over. Hari smiled darkly and went to approach the desk. The chubby man hadn't looked up from the magazine as he spoke. "Look man, I said piss off. What, you didnt get the picture the first time or-" he immediately froze and turned his attention to Hari when he heard the click of the gun. When he turned, he was staring down the glock.
Hari spoke up darkly. "Hey buddy, I'm a changed man but that doesn't mean shit is sweet. I've killed a dozen people before and I'm not afraid to go to prison. Either you do my nephews birthday party tomorrow, or we wear your face on a memorial T-Shirt. Fuck is it gonna be? Eh???" The man gulped and shakily reached his finger out to the voice machine on his desk. "Deborah cancel all my appointments tomorrow, I've got a birthday to go do." Hari and Kai smiled when they heard the voice reply 'Right away, sir.' They bid the man goodbye and left the office. The next day, Kaishi rushed to the backyard after taking a quick shower and getting ready. It was decorated beautifully with bounce houses, a splash area, party games, an extensive food/present table, swings, slides, etc. Most importantly, the parents actually showed up with their kids. Kaishi almost cried tears of happiness when he finally had friends to play with. Meanwhile, you and Pops chatted with the other parents until Smoogly arrived to perform. The kids absolutely loved every bit! Every once in a while, the Lollipop turned to look at Kurono standing in the corner, smirking menacingly and daring him to slip up just once. Smoogly quickly turned around and kept performing. At the end of his shift, he was paid extra just as Kai promised, and Kaishi got to take a picture with him. Finally it came time for presents. Kaishi was happy to receive so many gifts, but he was more eager to get his gifts from you, Kai, and Pops (even Hari got him a secret gift at the last minute). Kaishi smiled at the wooden box Pops had given him. When he opened it, it revealed a small pin on a soft cushion. It was shiny and brand new. It was the symbol of the Hassaikai, the infamous flower design. "My grandson, when your father was younger I had given him this very same gift. Please be sure to take good care of it." He gently placed a hand on Kaishi's head. The boy nodded excitedly and passed the box for you to hold while he opened up the remaining gifts. It was a surprise jacket from you to him. It was just a smaller version of Kai's jacket! Plus that suit you promised, and a few other Smoogly themed toys as well. From Hari, he recieved a new helmet for his new bike. Finally from Kai he received a matching mask. With the suit and the jacket, he was the matching embodiment of his very on father (aside from inheriting some of your skin tone depending on your color, my dear reader).
This was truly the perfect birthday.
»—————————–———————————————————–✄
TIp Jar: https://cash.app/$YuTakeyama
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I did it. Now I dont write, I draw so this is not gonna be so good. Its been through many revisions and I realized I spelt "Yuseke" as "Yueske the entire time so forgive me ill fix that next chapter. My Kuwabara x oc story:
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It was finally cold again. Miyoko was overjoyed, she had never liked summer. Sure there was no school and she had more time with friends, but she couldn't stand the heat. She detested those sweaty nights, or how the bugs always bothered her, actually she didnt care for any part of summer.
Miyoko had dropped so many hints over the years and yet somehow, Kuwabara still had no clue. His air-headed-ness was cute, but it made things difficult for the shy girl Miyoko was. She just couldn't work up the nerve to say something, and when she did, something would always interrupt her. However, today she planned to change that! Miyoko got dressed up as cozy as she could, ready for what her and her friends had planned and with a gleam of excitement in her eyes, she headed out the door. 
 That was apart from going to see her crush, Kazuma Kuwabara's baseball games, he would play every summer. When they were younger, he played in an official team wearing his "Mötor Head" jersey and smoking every opposing team he played against. Miyoko never missed a single game! Every home run, every strike, and every fight that broke out because of a bad call, she was there. When they got older, she would be there to watch him play against his friends, still wearing that jersey. She was always supportive of him, she was madly in love with him, and had been for awhile.
"Urameshi!! Where do you think you're going?? I was talking to you!" Kuwabara's feet hit the sidewalk with force as he sprinted after Yueske, who had walked only a few feet, forcing Kuwabara to stop abruptly frantically trying to steady himself without falling. After regaining balance, Kuwabara grabed a fists full of his friend's jacket to pull him close aggressively. 
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"D-Dont tell anyone! Or I'll break your mouth, so you cant tell anyone nothin' ever again!!" Kuwabara's face was as red as the setting sun. Unfazed, Yuseke stared at Kuwabara blankly for a short second before sighing and shrugging the big flustered fool off of him. 
"Listen man, I wont say anything. But this is getting really annoying. Ive told you before that you should just go through with it. Whats your problem with admitting to her anyways?" Yuseke looked to the helpless man and immediately regretted asking. Kuwabara looked off dramatically twords the orange and red sky. His shoulders slouched, slumping over, and fiddling with his hands. 
"I....Shes really pretty, ya know? And...Im well...ya know?" His voice trailed off, as if wanting reassurance he was being foolish. When there was no reply, Kuwabara peeked up with a quivering bottom lip. 
Yueske stood with his hands in his pocket saying nothing, only wearing a furrowed brow and tight lips. Suddenly, he burst into laughter. Causing Kuwabara to stand up straight and look at him even more embarrassed, and ready to punch him.
"I never thought I'd hear the great Kuwabara, warrior of love, admit to being ugly!!" Mocked Yueske. He bent over shaking his head and slapping his leg, resting his other elbow on his knee and laughing loudly. He straightened and wiped a fake tear from his eye. Kuwabara gasped in shock. 
"What?? Ugly??" Again Kuwabara grabbed at his friend, this time missing and falling. He quickly got up and held up a threatening fists. 
"Im not ugly!! Im just not a romantic type!!" He rubbed his fists on his chest. 
"I am a warrior of love, so I know how to treat a lady and how to talks to girls, I just....." He paused, his mouth moving like hes trying to remember how talking works. "She's different!!" He finaly blurted out. "She reads them girly romance books that Kurama likes!!" With a frustrated grunt, Kuwabara rubbed his neck nervously and spoke in a much more serious tone.
"Ive known her a real long time, and I cant tell her yet cuz I'm kinda worried she only thinks of me like how Shizuru thinks of me." Yueske picked up on the seriousness of the situation and scoffed trying to lighten things up again. 
"Well you are ugly, but I think she likes you anyway. Besides man, why asks me? You think I read them werid books?" Yueske pat Kuwabara awkwardly on the shoulder. 
"No way. I asked cuz you have a girlfriend!!" Kuwabara turned to look at Yueske who was moving his arm away. 
"So? Doesnt mean I know what im doing, just asks Keiko." The boys laugh, seeming to have calmed down a great deal. Before much more could be said, four familiar and approaching voices could be heard chatting playfully. 
"Oh dear, you didnt actually take me seriously did you, Miyoko?" Botan said in a teasing tone. 
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"I did!! I'm gullible, you cant just tell me anything about spirit world.I will believe it!! Everytime!" The two girls laughed. 
"I've noticed," Interjected Kurama. "You have managed to retained alot of attributes from your childhood haven't you? I find that interesting." Kurama continud, wrapping an arm around Botan. 
"Alot of people say that...is that a bad thing? I'm not immature am I?" Miyoko felt nervous now. Maybe that was the why Kuwabara never seemed to return her feelings, perhaps she wasn't mature enough for a relationship.
Keiko quickly spouted, "No no! I don't think he meant it like that, I think it's cute!" Keiko put a reassuring arm around Miyoko and smiled a friendly smile. 
"Ofcourse! Its an admirable trait." Kurama said as Botan giggled. 
Botan wagged her finger and pointed it at Miyoko with a knowing smile "Im on to you! You shouldn't feel so insecure!" Botan pulled her arm back and used it to hug Kurama's arm. "Don't be so hard on yourself, I know you're simply nervous, so you're being extra critical of yourself, but you'll do fine!" Botan hummed encouragingly. "And, we all look fantastic!" Botan added as they all rounded the corner.
Keiko stopped dead in her tracks, and started tapping her foot. "Well, most of us are...Yueske! I thought I told you to dress up!!" Keiko pouted, walking over to her boyfriend's side. 
Yueske was the most casually dressed out of all of them. Just wearing his usual faded blue jeans, black converse shoes, plain yellow shirt and favorite green and yellow windbreaker jacket. He looked even more underdressed standing next to Keiko. She was wearing a lovely pale pink turtleneck, a plum purple suspender skirt reaching to her knees, long white socks, and loafers to match her skirt. Despite their contrasting attire, they somehow matched perfectly. 
Yueske wrapped his arm around Keiko's shoulder and smirked."Kuwabara isnt dressed up." He looked over to Kuwabara and nodded his way while jutting his thumb twords his friend. 
"What!! I am too!! This is the nicest thing I got!! Other than like...a tux or something!!" Kuwabara wore a blue Letterman jacket, a red sweater with dark blue jeans, and brown dress boots laced in black, he was indeed dressed up quite nicely. Miyoko blushed at the sight of his clothing, he cleaned up nicely as always. She couldn't help but smile at him, it was always a slight surprise to see him out of his school uniform. Kuwabara had a simular reaction to Miyoko's choice of clothing. She dawned a wine red A-line dress, knitted black leggins, and shin high beige lace up boots. She wasn't one to dress up like this, but she wanted to tonight, it was a special night after all. 
Trying to redirect the situation and prevent Yueske and Kuwabara from fighting, Botan chimed in. "Well, I never have to worry about Kurama when it comesto presentation! Unless ofcourse, he's overdressed and making me look a fool!" Kurama and Botan giggled to eachother looking the most put together, like they were the parents of the group. Tonight, everyone was going their part to help Miyoko's odds, evident by Botan, who was wearing something much different from her usual choice of clothing.
She modelled a white turtle neck dress, form fitting reaching just above her knees with a small slit on the right side, with sleeves that reached slightly past her palms, she wore her wedding ring, hoop earings, beige velvet tights, and blue slip on flats to top off the look. To match her, Kurama dressed just as nice. Wearing a white button up tucked neatly into his dark brown pants, red suspenders with red suede shoes laced in black, and a matching wool trench coat to top complete it all. Now everyone felt underdressed. 
"So what are we doing anyway?" Yueske asked scratching his cheek. Keiko shook her head "Are you serious? You've been waiting around this long, and you dont even know why??" Yueske simpled shrugged "I guess?" 
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Botan sighed looking tired, Yueske was a handful for everyone. "Dont you remember, Yueske? I told you this morning! We're all having dinner!" 
Botan motioned to the brick building everyone was standing next to. "You've been standing right next to the restaurant! Where I told you we would be meeting up, seriously! You didn't connect the dots?" Botan tilted her head with a hopeless look. Yueske gritted his teeth and roughly pulled Keiko by her hip to his, talking through his teeth. "Whatever!!" He sighed and let go of Keiko fixed his hair flustered, he brought his fists down onto his palm talking loudly. "So now that we're all here, can we go?? Im starving and you guys took all damn evening to get here!"
Keiko lightly kicked his shoe pouting up at him. "Hush!! Its not our fault you dont listen, besides you didnt even try to dress nice! So I dont feel sorry for you." Yuseke quickly stepped aside and raised his voice a bit "Hey! Didnt ya hear me?? I didn't know what was going on!!" Keiko roughly poked her boyfriend's chest, "Again, not our problem! Listen and you wouldn't have to worry!!" 
Kurama was the first to put a stop to the bickering. He took a wide step twords the brick building and grabbed the glass doors handle, he opened the door and motioned for everyone fallow him inside.
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So theres that. I'll write more soon. I hope its as fun to read as it was fun to write.
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ridiculousravenclaw · 4 years
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The Life of Elara Ware : Chapter 2
Elara sat on her butterfly patterned bedsheets, a heavy leather bound book in her lap. She was studying alchemy this year and wanted to get a basic understanding of it before school started. She was lost in concentration when her bubble of thought was burst by light tapping at her window. She looked up to see a shabby brown owl rapping its beak against the glass. She smiled. "Hi Errol". Elara crossed her room and opened the window. The old bird half hopped, half collapsed inside. Looking out her window Elara saw it was now starting to get dark. The sun retreated below the horizon casting shadows of deep orange and red across the sky. It was a beautiful summer's evening, a light breeze provided respite from the unforgiving heat of the day. Errol lazily nipped at her hand letting out an exasperatedly quiet hoot. "Sorry boy, here" She detached the tightly rolled parchment from his leg then opened the empty bird cage perched on top of her drawers, gesturing for him to go inside. Errol happily obliged helping himself to water. The Wares family owl Alizeh had to stay in Elaras room as her mother couldn't stand her hooting. But she was currently out hunting and Errol looked thankful for the hospitality.
Elara undid the scroll expecting to be greeted with another message from George, so she was surprised to find it wasn't his handwriting at all. 'Hello Elara. I know George has been in contact with you but I dont know exactly how much he's said or not said so I thought it best to write you myself. You are of course still welcome to come and stay tomorrow. Though I must warn you it'll be a bit of a tight squeeze. My eldest sons Bill and Charlie are home and are in the twins room meaning Fred and George are currently in with Ron and Harry. Oh yes, Harry's staying with us as well I hope you dont mind. You'll be in Ginnys room, but again, tight squeeze. We have Hermione staying in there too. I hope this is all okay with you. I've been told to expect you by flu powder at about 11. Our house is called The Burrow, I don't know if George had said. Anyway it's all still a go is what I'm trying to say and we'll take you to Kings Cross as planned. Look forward to seeing you Molly Weasley'
Elara smiled. The note really was unnecessary but she couldn't blame Mrs Weasleys lack of trust in George giving her all the correct details. She quickly scribbled a reply on the back of the note. 'Thanks again Mrs Weasley this is really kind of you. 11 o'clock. Flu powder. I'll see you then'
It took some convincing and several treats but Elara finally managed to get Errol out of Alizehs cage and attach the note to his leg. She wasn't sure if Errol was quick enough to get the note to Mrs Weasley before tomorrow morning but it was worth a try. She sent him on his way then made her way downstairs to the living room. There she found her mother silently working her way through stacks of documents she had laid out on the sofa. Her long brown hair was wound into a messy bun on top of her head and her black rimmed glasses were perched on the end of her narrow, slender nose. She was wearing grey jogging bottoms and a light blue t shirt that hung off one shoulder. She was sat cross legged, brows furrowed in concentration. She hadn't noticed Elara walk in.
"Watcha doin?" Elara said. Her mother sent several pages scattered across the wooden floor as she jumped in surprise.
"Jeez sweet pea don't sneak up on me like that!"
Elara laughed and stepped forward to help as her mum started chasing papers around the room. "sorry. I wasn't aiming to scare you"
"yeah? then why are you laughing at me?" Her mother retorted as she tried to smack Elara on the backside with a recovered sheet. She tried to put on a disgruntled face but she couldn't hide her smile as her daughter dodged her attacks.
"hey! I'm helping!" Elara replied, smiling goofily back as she hopped out of her mothers reach.
"causing mayhem more like"
Elara folded her arms defiantly, a devious grin on her lips
"fine. I wont help then"
Elara put up her hands in mock surrender and started walking towards the door.
"hey! not so fast. This is your doing so you can come tidy you cheeky bugger"
Elara complied with an exaggerated curtsy as her mother started to reorganize the pages.
"honestly. all I came down for was to tell you I'm going to the Weasleys at 11. now you've got me clearing up like your personal slave" Elara put on her best dramatic sigh which made her mother chuckle.
"think how I feel. it took me ages to put all this in order now I've got to do it again"
"hmm, well if you will insist on throwing things around the house"
"oi!" her mother retorted but once again she couldn't stifle her smile.
"11 did you say?" She added after a moment.
"yup"
"how were you going to get there?"
"flu powder" then at the look of confusion on her mothers face she continued "that's the one where you travel through the fireplace. wosh" Elara flailled of her arms to illustrate.
"oh right. the one that scares me to death you mean?"
"that's the one"
"great!" Her mother gave her a double thumbs up but her eyes showed her disapproval. Elara rolled her eyes.
"mum how many times? it's safe. I've been using flu powder since I was 7. Everyone does"
Her mother sighed, nodding her head reluctantly "I know, I know"
They picked up the last few pages in lazy quiet before Elara went to kitchen to make them both a cup of tea. When she returned she found her mother staring into the currently empty fireplace like she was waiting for something. Elara silently stood by her side handing her a floral patterned mug. She looked at her mothers face obviously deep in thought. She looked almost upset. "mum?"
It was several moments before she answered.
"you know it doesn't matter how impressive and mystical and amazing all this is. Theres still a massive part of me that wished you took after me, not your dad."
Elara couldn't deny she felt offended, and it must've shown on her face
"no no that's not what I meant. Oh hunny your magics incredible and you make me proud every day. Please know that. It's just. I dont know. I can't lie. I'd be a lot less stressed if you just grew up to be a hairdresser or something. Something ordinary. Something risk free" Elara felt confused at the direction the conversation had taken. Quick to defend the life she loved so much she answered
"Well wheres the fun in that? mum I'm perfectly safe in the wizarding world. you must know that. it may still be weird to you but its who I am and its normal for us."
Her mother looked at her for a moment. Then smiled a strange, sad sort of smile. She started to say something, then stopped herself sipping on her tea instead. Elara could see a million thoughts spiraling behind her mothers eyes. Then, finally "yeah. yeah of course you are." Then without a word she turned and left.
As she stood alone in front of the mantelpiece, Elara had the feeling like she was missing something. Then a most unwelcome thought; that there was something her mother wasn't telling her. Her mother had always been a worrier. Fretted over her wellbeing day and night. It never bothered her. In fact Elara Ware had grown so used to her mothers fussing she almost didn't notice it anymore. But now that she stopped to think, since returning from school that summer it'd seemed to get a lot more frequent. Obsessively checking in on Elara through the day. Restricting when she could leave the house, not letting her go alone. At first Elara thought this was just her fear of her baby growing up. Now that she'd sat her exams, chosen a career path, got a boyfriend. But now she wasn't sure. Whatever it was, her mother was definitely upset by it.
The next morning Elara woke up later than she wanted to. She ran downstairs and inhaled some cereal so fast she was sure she must have set a new world record. Then back upstairs for a hurried shower, which unsurprisingly resulted in shampoo in her eyes. Swearing repeatedly and dripping water onto the tiles as she went. Elara stumbled blindly across her en suit reaching for a towel. cursing herself for not putting one out first. Quickly drying herself off she threw open her wardrobe, looking at her limited selection of clothes. most of it was packed in her trunk. She glanced out the window. It was raining and with the rain had brought cooler weather. She picked out her favourite pair of jeans and a loose white shirt with lace criss-crossed across the back.
It was only after she had triple checked her trunk, glancing at the clock and seeing she still had 30 minutes to spare, that Elara finally allowed herself to relax a bit. Mentally scolding herself for waking up late and turning her morning into a mad rush. She was gazing at her reflection in the mirror and without realizing found herself fussing with her hair. She couldn't explain why. Elara had never really cared what others though of how she looked before. Yet there she sat tucking her brown hair behind her ear, the pulling it forward, then tucking it back again. Perhaps it was the nerves of seeing her boyfriend again after weeks apart. After all they hadn't been dating that long when school ended for the holidays. Or perhaps it was the stress of meeting his whole family. But then again she already knew half of them. She may never have spent much time with Ron, Percy or Ginny but they were already acquainted. Then of course theres Fred. the twins came as a pack. you rarely get one without the other and she'd been going to school with them for 5 years.
She tried to shake the nerves, focussing instead on the thing she'd always liked about herself. She gazed into her eyes which were the only ones like them she'd ever known. Her right eye was a cool blue, like a river. Her left eye a pale light green flecked with yellow. The muggle doctors said it was a genetic condition with a weird name she could never remember. it didn't matter. Elara loved her eyes. they made her different. Different was good. She looked at the clock again. 20 minutes. She picked up her trunk which she'd played at the foot of her bed and began to haul it down the stairs.
"you'll write wont you"
"nah I won't bother I'll just leave you in suspense the whole year"
"Elara Ware!"
"I'm joking! I'm joking! C'mon mum I'm in my 6th year now. I'm a big girl. I'll be fine. and I'll be back before you know it."
Her mother sighed and pulled Elara into a bone crushing hug. "I know. I just worry" Elara chuckled "yeah funnily enough I've noticed"
Her mum ignored this "I love you" she mumbled into Elaras hair. "I love you too" Just then Elara noticed the time on the clock "ooh mum I've got to go. its time" Elara wriggled out of her mums grip and stepped into the fire place where her trunk was waiting. "mum the powder"
"oh yeah right"
Her mother grabbed a small clay pot from ontop of the book case. It was peculiar in shape, unpainted and unvarnished. Elara had very vague memories of making it at muggle school when she was about 7 years old. Inside was the floo powder. Elara grabbed a handful and offered one last smile to her mum. "Bye mum"
"Bye darling"
Elara dropped the floo powder onto her feet and shouted "The Burrow" With that she started to spin. Faster in faster as her living room dissolved into a blur of colour. But just before she lost sight of her mother completely she saw it again. The same sad look in her mothers eyes. She was trying to hide it but still it was unmistakably there. Why? what was Elara not understanding? Before she could even fathom the answer the spinning stopped. She was no longer in her living room. She stepped out onto a well worn rug to a wall of welcoming red headed smiles. and there standing the closest the one she was most excited to see. beaming the brightest of all "miss me?" Said George
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dragaoel · 5 years
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 Jun'ichirō, aka Jun (- Silverdell)
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the volume of the radio slowly dwindles down and only static noise is left to be heard
"those are dangerous words"
"not for him " Anja replies, her head laying on her outstretched arm that's on the table , her whole posture the embodiment of laziness. "loved ones always have it easier here"
"Not always" Jun says grimly and glances out of the window" it's because he's an outsider that he's allowed more freedom than any of us"
"aren't you a loved one too?"
Jun sighs deeply and turns towards the albino girl. For a second ,pain , frustration and a hint of panic can be seen in his eyes before it vanishes. He lets out a bitter laugh.
"and you saw where that lead me to,half dead in a ditch"
INTRODUCTION JUN : 
half japanese half black
has waist long black thick hair and brown skin 
has a ‘’prince in anguish’’ aura but masks it with him being over the top ridiculous and dramatic
is 5′11
born 12th october (libra)
‘‘the risk i took was calculated, but man, am i bad at math’‘
Jun is my favourite character, i made him on a whim as a side character in a old story and then i started using him more and more as a background character until i realized the potential he had. He's also one of the character whom i put into a lot of  different aus, the most favourite one was where he was a vampire who loved laying in the garden and eat roses all day
Rukiya (-Though the god’s have left)
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‘‘i have dreams about them’‘ Rukiya says and plucks a string on her bass. The deep note rumbles through the room and her short curls moves along as she drops her head lower 
‘‘i'm high in the sky, looking down onto a land that seems oh so familiar, with people screaming at me asking me to help them’‘
‘’do you understand them? ‘’ a band member asks
‘‘weirdly i do’‘ Rukiya answers ‘‘ it seems to be in my native language but also not, as if it was way before everything happened, you know, the ancient time’‘ 
INTRODUCTION RUKIYA :
Out of the both of them Rukiya is the older twin by 4 minutes
she’s also the artsy one than her sister whos into sports
wears black literally 24/7 and has dark circles despite sleeping enough
is 5′9
is black (kenyan) 
mole on the left side of her cheek
fluent in her native tongue kiswahili 
Majors in Film
loves anything that has to do with space nd aliens
born 24th january (aquarius)
has a sweet tooth
*cocks gun* ‘’basements haunted’’
i like the idea of twins that are completely the opposite of each other. Rukiya just like Imara have a big chunk of my personality in them, it's just that i lean more towards Rukiya than Imara. 
Akiho (-Though the god’s have left)
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Kneeling down, she cocks her head to the side, her eyes cold and her lips pressed into a thin line ‘’ dont think your actions won't have consequences’’ she sneers ‘’ the next time i see you harassing another girl again i'll make you wish you were never born’’ 
Akiho dusts herself , picks up the bat , glances one last time at the boy laying on the floor and walks away, the echoes of her shoes the only noise to be heard
INTRODUCTION AKIHO :
is 5′4
majors in theater
her fashion style is y2k
is the other one of the dumbass duo
has freckles on her nose
is japanese
doesn't like sweet things usually eats traditional sweets made by her mom or things that are sour/bitter, but salty food has to be spicy asf
born, 14th april (aries)
her side teeth are really pointy
has long peach colored straight hair
‘‘I’d sell you to satan for one corn chip’‘
Akiho comes from a family of 3, she's the youngest sibling and she has that energy. She likes to play with her oldest brother children, doesn't want any on her own though. will fight anyone who is disrespectful, esp towards women 
Hyunjin (-Though the god’s have left)
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The tall girl slumps her body onto her girlfriend shoulder, watching her fry the fish in the pan into charcoal. Hyunjin wrinkles her nose in a attempt to push the glasses up without having to actually touch them, before she sighs deeply. 
‘‘Just-’‘ she starts and softly takes ‘‘let me do it, otherwise you'll burn the kitchen down like last time’‘
Praveena puffs her cheeks up ‘’that actually wasn't my fault, it was the gasherd-’’
‘‘i know i know’‘ Hyunjin chuckles and kisses her cheek ‘‘but i have a exam tomorrow and i would like not not have an indigestion’‘ she frowns and flips the fish over and sighs. It seems the fish can’t be saved anymore. 
INTRODUCTION HYUNJIN :
korean
has short dyed blue hair, but the back part is longer than the front part.
is ‘5′10
majors in engineering technology
born 14th may (taurus)
has literally no sense of style and wears glasses cause she has a slight astigmatism that you can't really see
has a mole next to her right eye
‘‘a financially unstable mess but at the liquor store they call me ma’am’‘
honestly out of all the characters i draw hyunjin the most. In the beginning  she  had shoulder length but then i shortened it because i liked it more. She's an only child and her mother runs a bakery while her father works in a office. She's the calm type that's constantly tired because she never sleeps 
Praveena  (-Though the god’s have left)
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She shuffles the cards and lays them out on the table. The customers sees the fool, the moon and the star. Praveena touches them with her fingertips ‘’ you seem to be either at the beginning or at the end of a new journey ’’ she pauses and thinks ‘’but either way you're prepared for what is to come’’
The customers nods ‘’i'm soon moving away from this city’’
‘‘I see’‘ Praveena counters and points at the next card ‘‘the moon indicates that you’re hesitant  and fearful in your decision, there might be something from the past that is holding you back and influencing you in the present and possibly the future
the customer tenses up, her eyes fixed on the card and her lips tight
‘‘though’‘ Praveena continues ‘‘at the end you’ll be at peace and glad that you pushed through all the turbulences 
INTRODUCTION PRAVEENA : 
tamil ,dark skin with long wavy violet dyed hair
Hyunjin’s girlfriend
has calm energy but is also very erratic 
loves astrology & tarot
majors in psychology
5′5
born 20 july (cancer)
has droopy eyes
‘‘god cant help you now’‘
i made praveena cause i wanted a harmonious wlw couple, that have that ‘’old married pair’’ plus out of all the ocs those two are the ones that i drew first. Praveena has the tendency to blow things up how though is a mystery and hyunjin always has to clean up everything. 
Imara (-Though the god’s have left)
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‘‘no listen, it doesn't make sense why would you wear a bra and some tight ass pants knowing you’re about to fight people who have knives and GUNS?’’ Imara asks perturbed.
‘‘Cause men are horny’‘ Rukiya retorts and raises an eyebrow
‘‘still doesn't make sense like wow!, some fucking boobs, like really? really? is that what gets you going? just some breast pressed up in a bra that is too damn tight and a flat stomach on a skinny ass girl that has absolute no muscles despite the training she went through?
Rukiya sighs ‘’ is this about-’’
‘‘lara croft yes’‘ Imara interrupts and slams her finger on the table ‘‘and im going to die on this hill that men shouldn't be allowed to create games!’‘
INTRODUCTION  IMARA:
plays games a lot, esp the loz series
has curly dyed blonde hair that's mostly tied in a ponytail  or a bun because she cant be bothered with it, though rukiya helps her all the time cause she never really learned how to deal with curly hair. 
Is on a baseball sponsorship because she's that good (she's a pitcher)
is totally tone deaf unlike her twin
isnt good with crows ie: strangers crowding around her after her team won a game
is kenyan
5′9
has a mole next to her upper lips on the left side
loves 90's rnb & hip hop music
‘‘he proclaimed his undying love and asked me to do the same, i had to overcome my desire to laugh’‘
Imara does have a slight complex about being a twin because she feels like Rukiya is the cooler one despite people loving her too. She's loud and boisterous basically a chad, but better. She's dorky and literally spends her free time gaming but she doesn't just play any game shes v specific when it comes to that. Her mom always has a headache because of her but thats okay but in the end her mom loves her to death.
Ava (-Though the god’s have left)
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‘’do you you know how much it's sucks that at the end of all of this , i'm the one waiting for them?’’ Ava exclaims ‘’that i'm the one who will have to watch them go through the door to be evaluated? that i'm ultimately the end?
‘‘you’re not all alone-’‘
‘‘you don't understand’’ Ava interrupts, as she points at the short girl ‘’ i will have to watch my mom, my family that raised me go through that door and know that that will be the last time i will see them in that body!’’
INTRODUCTION  AVA:
She’s haitian 
keeps her hair in a short chin length dark blue bob
majors in sociology 
she and akiho are the ‘’comedy duo’’ of the group
is 5′6
born 4th november (scorpio)
‘‘my only crime was that i was down to clown’‘ 
When i make akiho i felt like she needed a companion so i made ava, both of them were inspired by the early 2000 shows characters. Although Ava likes to goof around she's also very studious and serious about her future. She comes from a family of 6 and she’s the second oldest. She and her older sister fight constantly 
Nïrnaya (Dawn over the horizon)
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‘‘Magic’‘ the elf stars, her tall stature hunched over the herbs ‘’ is in the nature we’re surrounded in, in the mountains that stand high and the rivers that flow into the deep sea’’
she straightens up and walks over to Nïrnaya ‘’ we might lose everything.’’ She pokes the girl on the forehead ‘’but magic will forever stay with you because its the core of your being‘’ 
INTRODUCTION NÏRNAYA :
shes a mischievous 15 year old 
 has black curly long hair that are mostly braided
does not want to do this whole adventure thing because of how it reminds her too much of the ‘’chosen one trope’’ and thats too much responsibilities
born during the year of the earth dragon
‘‘snacking between meals is the least, but tastiest, of my problems’‘ 
i came up with this story and character because i wanted a book where a black girl for once was the main character, where she could experience the same thing as other mc (ie eragon etc) basically i wanted black representation in a medieval-esque world but with my own spin because the world itself is not very western like
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tipsyexplorer · 2 years
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12.22.21
hmmm well that didn't feel great
like a sinking feeling in my chest, knotted up immediately
or just instant tightness, maybe thats anxiety or just built up tension fro previous encounters/interactions
like why are you here then. I know why I'm keeping you around because if not then you'll have nothing? is that dramatic, you'll def need to move out and prob move back home and thats not where youd like to be, maybe you could stay with your friends for a little, they'll tend to your wounds and talk bad about me - which I guess it's what you do. What bothers me really is that they wouldn't get the truth
the unfairness of not getting the truth of the story to paint me in a bad light, but I suppose in the long run does it matter what they think?
will you tell them how patient I've been or all the things I've done for you, how I literally just pay for everyone, cook every meal while I watch you buy gadgets and gizmos. and you know, in the beginning I was okay with it because I liked spending time with you, I felt like I could talk to you about things
and now we dont even have that. its hard talking to you. its unrewarding, i feel like everytime we talk were just on a verge of a fight. i get scared and anxious about it and I dont want to do it it anymore. I send you things and you dont respond, so I wont send you things. when I text you its only logistical stuff and even then it takes you a long time to respond, like I know youre up?? unless you're napping or sleeping again then I guess you can't but like...get up and do things?
i'm just not happy and Ive written something like this letter over and over again , but never got the courage to share it with you. and honestly I will probably just delete this afterwards because onec I talk about it I think I'll be okay for a little while until the next interaction. isnt there a line about how its dumb doing the same thing expecting new results or something.
Ive given up on including you in things, I'll ask and 9/10 you say no. I dont like working with you, making things with you, or talking to you. its just too stressful, and maybe its just our history we haven't worked out or made some sort of ammends with but literally each time I try I just get flashbasck of emotions of how bad it was, doesnt make me want to
I mean this time this was just triggered by me saying "I had a weird dream" which I usually never say and you just said "uh huh" and walked out of the room...like cool I guess I wont bring that up again
there are so many more people out there that provide me with a more fulfilling relationship and it just stinks that the one Im supposed to have the deepest one makes me feel the worst
you know what I imagine? I imagine what its like to not have someone to hold me back, to not have to take care of another person and just focus on me and do what I want to do without the fear of judgement. Its not like i dont want to share the side of content creating with another person, and yeah I guess if it's too much then I should tlak to others who have the same goals and dreams as I do. I do see it working for other couples but they probably talk
and maybe you feel the same way, were just not emotionally compatible and neither of us wants to admit it. I dont want to deal w/ a flal out and you probably dont want to leave. and thats what makes me sad bc of what I provide you cant leave eveyrthing is just bearable enough or that the literal shelter and food I provide will have you endure whatever youre missing on the other parts
so im the one who has to call it, do I just call it? seems like it would be a good practice to see if i could work it out, see if I could formulate these thoughts by talking things out and list exactly what i want
I want you to find a stable job/income
I am tired of footing the financialbill, when it wasn't discussed. I feel like a fool to have this happen when I didn't agree to it
I want you to help out with food more, maybe even make some of them
I want you to plan an event or outing for us to go to heck maybe even once every 3 months, as of right now its been nothing. for the past 4?5? years
I want us to be able to even talk, I dont know how it got this bad where I just feel like I cant share anything with you or I dont want to
youre not the easiest person to talk to
to work things out with, I just go with things to keep the peace and thats just my inclination. I dont want to deal with these hard emotions and I know I will be fine at the end I always am
it shouldnt feel like I'm trapped or I'm must stuck with someone, it just feels like I cant reach my hightest potential with you here. I know I can do so much more
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I found this article the FBI popped up on my phone. So i read it, intending to be insulted. Not wanting to post because these types of articles can twist the way we label people so we do it incorrectly
However you can read it and see how a normal person expresses their anger. There's millions of ways. Brian becomes possessive and tells me in a really mad way. Marc Antony (Blue) tells other people Then like shields me So I'm like all comfortable and treated like a baby... In a way... Where as Brian is all its your responsibility to know and understand... Like hes gonna kill people if i make a mistake... Which for me -- they're both the same. But used to Brian would confuse me... But like not in a way i was all the time bothered by it. Like if i was gonna get my period or something and sensitive to words i would be all why you talking to me like that? And i would be all cry baby and he would be all conforming to keeping me comfortable snd sane and telling me he loves me and catering to my emotional well being. Which is what Marc Antony always did... I never got the harsh violent atmosphere possessiveness from him... But Brian does it like hes creating a safe bubble for me... Like Marc Antony (Blue Paul) would before he was murdered in 1991... Brian makes the bubble way fucking closer.
Like I got a 5 foot space and not 15 miles like Marc.
Which is comfortable in itself when you're some one like me.
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At first I thought about Agent Orange...
But then I realized it was more about Alex Laughlin. And I felt relieved after reading this. Like yeah it is understood and I'm not like him and I'm not crazy. And he is mean... Of course I wonder why is he so angry? But I think I explained it already yesterday.
And then I feel like I should confess something... To help you all feel relieved... Aside the fact I'm not like the above...
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Like I said maybe I shouldn't stop the release of 94 diseases... I wouldn't
But the point is I have tried and i can't do more than I already am. And y'all aint doing shit and that is the fucking fact.
So i make empty threats for yall that have anxiety or just always feel the world crashing in on you or you have depression. I want you to know i do say shit when I'm mad and I don't necessarily mean all the actions i say i can do.
Its the point i can and many need to open their eyes to what i am doing and that i do care and Yall just dont know what i have done Because I don't see the need to brag about it.
But I am oftentimes told I am unfair when I am angry. All I see is unfairness and wrongs and so sometimes I call out every hospital in the world and tell them They're pieces of shit.
And what I mean is. Those photos of them with masks leaving painful marks on their faces is unnecessary and if they listened to my over and over again then they wouldn't feel that pain. At the same time I know the evil in the world and I know the world is under attack and I know they're scared. So if I tell them to remove one evil or potential evil from their lives in a loud dramatic way one time... Then leave the N95 masks to the ER. Duh. They need them. We don't know what is gonns blaze through those doors next.
Sometimes my threats are real. A lot of times. But because im a POW... It is other people whom who have to fulfill them... So in a way they are empty because someone has to get in that threat and force it to be true.
But no one is gonna allow 94 diseases to just go blown out into the world. Unless it has been catered and altered to be safer and have a point behind its deadly threat.
All threats must have a point so yoh can think and evaluate not judge. But think about them and as to why.
77% of alien life were pissed. After i explained the point of the Thedadorian only 7% were still angry. Mostly because the other 70% thought it was jsut for humans. Which it is not. As yall been educated for since December Aliens need to get the fuck off the planet... Those prohibiting will get it.
Now those aliens that are just like thinking about humanity and not understanding fully they're aliens... But also the same time when they get the Thedadorian they have full blown COVID symptoms.
Which adds up to "im fucking serious get the fuck off" and which means they should just give up already... It makes it easier to.
The point I want the survivors that are human to see of my confession especially you babes that take everything hard like I do, the more idle threats or empty threats I make the less they're to be believed. Each one means less.
So Y'all I know. "But one day shes gonna have a big one so no point to put down our guard because she for real is just gonna make every thing bad for everyone"
I know. But you have to get out that good vs bad. Pro vs con sheet you should write out and put on your fridge.
So when you get scared or so overwhelmed you don't understand anything anymore you can look at it.
I stopped tornadoes... As I know for now... There are still minor tornadoes or "dirt devils" because some od the huge windmills for electricity can not lock. They have to be manually tied down which is dangerous or taken down. It is just like a pinwheel you put in your yard if there is a breeze they turn on their own.
So what it means is high dangerous winds like in New Mexico will occur. Im used to them after 14 years of our windmills... But Y'all others may not be.
Remember to use two hands when you drive on your steering wheel so if you get into an open cross wind area then you won't be blown off the road or into another lane or car. Bridges are most dangerous now in Mississippi and Louisiana for this to occur. Two strong steady hands on the wheel that's all babes. Keep it in your lane.
Having your hands prepared to steady your car will prevent over correcting. Which is the major cause of accidents.
My insurance companies will not raise rates during this economical time Allstate and American. Even if you wreck. Nor after the Quarentine is over. They're just overlooked altogether.
Now in areas that are expected to have high dangerous winds suddenly are having "socks" installed
They're often seen at airports.
Its a cone shaped or think Triangle. Or even a fabric traffic cone -- they're all Orange or an orange yellow. And they're on high flagpoles
If they lay limp no wind. If they're flying -- totally "standing" erect.
Its dangerous, there are high winds. The smaller and of the sock tells you which direction
So if the small end is on the right side of the flag pole -- be ready -- the wind will hit you hard on the left side of your car.
Two hands on the wheel. Watch yourself and drivers in front of you. You may not even feel it. But sometimes it will literally push your car. Just keep going if you don't crash. Eyes on the road. Hands at ten and two (look at an analog face clock) and just be strong. You'll be fine and you're as safe as possible
Its new to you but Arizona has had them since the 1970s and I drove in them at 17 years old as a new driver with less than a 2 months old license. So if I can, you can.
And locally we don't have orange socks... We just literally get pushed. Windy days it's just two hands on the wheel... I look ahead and if 3 out of 5 cars are doing a wiggle... I know make I sure i got two hands on the wheel because they got a cross wind and im gonna get it too.
Every day im challanged by tree and others to work and think
So I'll do it to Yall too
Because its healthy
Remove the crap. Go stand by the window and get some sunlight and burn that craps sway and find truth and find a way to accept it.
We're not here to judge tornadoes and cross winds. We have to find truth and accept it
It went on for weeks. Scientists and meteorologists and Power companies. Nothing. Deaf. Blind. And dumb.
It took me. So don't fucking judge me.
Judge someone responsible. Like scientists. Meteorologists and Power companies. All thinking they are innocent. Sitting back and watching MASS DESTRUCTION. And nothing
Fucking simple. Turn off the fucking fans.
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I was angry. I am angry.
People got hurt. Lives destroyed.
Some it worked out best for.
However... Their homes and cars.
The fear... Its sad.
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