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txdoroki · 3 years

Note

hey shawty bae 😏 ur vv swag ily. so anyway- confessing to noya 😳... he’s not used to girls even looking his way and u jus CONFESS ?? asf. and tsukki ?? he’s so sarcastic and mean and he’s like “tf?? yes but what???” omg. UHM BASICALLY- confessing to noya & tsukki hcs :) what do u think 🦦

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS.

confessing to tsukki, noya, and suga hcs

genre : fluff

fem reader | warnings: none | words: 1.2k

a/n : hehe i love this idea almost as much as i love you <3 I GOT CARRIED AWAY OOPS

tsukki

-so you guys were just walking away from the school quietly together because your mutual friend, yamaguchi, wasn’t there that day

-every now and then he’d fire an insult at you, commenting on how lousy your kicks against the rocks on the pavement were, or about how your posture was slouched.

-he pokes more fun at you than everyone else at the school combined, saying some sort of insult directed at you every five seconds

-he loved how you’d always fire right back at him with another insult, a playful glint in your eyes

-even though you both had met off of yamaguchi, you had sort of became friends

-although you didn’t know much about him, his insults seemed to clear the path so you could tell what he liked and such

-after a while, you had gotten an attachment to him

-it was like your heart would skip a beat whenever you saw him, even if he just gave you a glare and nod at you from across the halls rather than actually greeting you

-right now, though, you were both walking together to your home. he’d planned to study at your house, even though he didn’t really need to.

-“i knew you with your stupid brain probably forget the assignment for math, so here,” he pulled some papers from his bag once you both had finally gotten to your room.

-this was way nicer than he had been in a while, and you tried to hide the confusion that was clearly showing across your face

-“um, thanks?” you took the papers and flipped through them, glaring at him when you noticed what he had written in the ‘name’ blank already.

-he had wrote, “lowsy y/n”

-he lost it, laughing so hard that tears were in his eyes when you punched his arm

-“wow what a way to treat someone who’s in love with y-“ you muttered, not exactly realizing what you were saying until you abruptly stopped

-you slapped a hand over your mouth and was like

-i did not just say that.

-he, of course, had heard it.

-although he didn’t say anything for a moment, too busy trying to figure out a way to get rid of the redness that was overwhelming his face

-“um, y/n, what?” he chuckled, pushing up his glasses when they began to slip down his nose.

-mans acted as if he wasn’t a blushy mess when he snorted, “well duh, everyone is anyways, you’re not special,”

-like an hour later when he had finally composed himself, after texting yamaguchi panicking, he asked you out ...

-although mans was so awkward in asking you out it was like you hadn’t just told him you loved him

-he first hugged you two weeks later when you complained about him not giving any affection and he was red for the rest of the day

-HE JUST DOESN’T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED OKAY HES CONFUSED AND LIKE BRRRRUUUUUUHHHH HOW

-ofc that asshole doesn’t stop his teasing

-BUT NOW YALL BULLY PPL TOGETHER LMAO IT’S SO FUNNY

noya

-you both always had been sort of flirty with each other, joking about dating and such

-I MEAN WHO CAN BLAME YOU FOR ACTUALLY DEVELOPING A CRUSH YOU BOTH JOKED ABOUT IT SO MUCH IT FELT REAL

-he’d always rant to you about volleyball and you’d be like ٩( ᐛ )و woo go noya go

-you both always listened to each other’s words like they were some law omg the convos were never dry...

-YOU JUST HAD FEELINGS FOR HIM OKAY AND YOU DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DOOOOOO

-“the ball came over to me when i wasn’t prepared and i went woosh and it was perfect!!” he moved his hands around to show you what he did, smiling at you

-when you just smiled and nodded at him, he was like wtf

-cuz you usually respond so he was like ????

-“hey, noya, what if i told you you’re so cute when you do shit like this,” you winked at him, laughing.

-that way if he rejected you, you could just say it was a joke even though it really wasn’t ...

-he was just like 🤭🤭 for like ten minutes.

-I MEAN HES NEVER HAD SOMEONE CALL HIM CUTE BEFORE HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO REACT~~~

-“noya?” you mumbled when he didn’t even respond for a few minutes

-“for real?” he chuckled, preparing himself for you to say no

-when you nodded he PHYSICALLY JUMPED.

-he smiled 10x harder and literally thanked you

-“what?? you’re so cool, y/n! thanks!”

-mans was so nervous you’d take it back that he asked you out then and there

-although he was really worried his energy was making you uncomfy so he pretended to be like daichi and chilled out a bit

-mans was pacing around his house before the date, nervous to see you

-he kissed your hand at the door which was a bit awkward but ... i mean it gave you a lasting memory so ..

-when he saw how gorgeous you looked he literally teared up a bit???? he was like bro??? you’re so out of my league????

-he was goofy the entire date, and never let go of your hand

-was lowkey trying to play off his nervousness and just say that he was super excited. wasn’t a lie but he was literally ignoring the fact that he was bouncing every step

-he brags about you to his entire team like “look who fell for me and not you!! ha!”

suga

-you guys had already been best friends for years. literally you were both in your third years of high school, but had known him since you were six.

-you’d always been conflicted, because he was sort of. touchy. and it played with your heart strings

-that romantic tension that was apparent in all of your conversations- woo

-it made your heart fly whenever he’d give you huge bear hugs whenever he’d get to see you, since you didn’t go to the same schools

-when he had surprised you in your kitchen when you got home from school that day, it caught you off guard

-you’d planned to confess literally that night

-you were watching a shitty romcom with his arm around your shoulder and his other laying on your leg when you whispered, “do you even like me?”

-“of course i like you, you’re my best fr-“

-“no not like that, suga,”

-he was just quiet for a moment as he paused the movie, turning to face you once it was paused.

-he was just. confused.

-he’d had a crush on your for so long he wanted to pinch himself to see if this was actually reality???

-“well yeah, of course i do,” he chuckled and scratched at his neck, his hand that was on your leg not moving.

-your cheeks were heating up so much, your entire body felt like a sauna.

-he continued the movie after asking you out on a date, of course to a picnic. he loved picnics, especially whenever you’d bring strawberries

-you both facetime like everyday since he lives too far to hang out

-long distance 😔👊

taglist @definitelynottrin @travelbythemoon

taglist form

#noya x reader #tsukki x reader #suga x reader #sugawara x reader #tsukishima x reader #nishinoya x reader #suga hcs #noya hcs #tsukki hcs #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu hcs #hq sugawara #hq noya #hq tsukki

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magniloquent-raven · 3 years

Note

for fluff: "one more chapter" or "there's enough room for both of us"

it’s been 84 years............ but here u go lmao tysm for the prompts!!!!!! i used both!

CW for some brief suicidal ideation, just in case. it’s v mild but pls be careful yall (i know, this fic was supposed to be fluffy 😅)

posted on ao3

------

Billy’s life had changed a lot in the past two years.

So much that some days he barely recognizes himself in the mirror. The scars, the state of his hair—which he hasn’t cut since last summer and generally just throws back for convenience’ sake—the stubble he doesn’t bother with most days. Small things, in the grander scheme of what’s different about his life, but it adds up.

And it’s Friday night, he’s curled up at home, and perfectly content to be there.

There’s a steaming mug of cider on the coffee table (a scratched-up old thing that Hop left him when he officially handed off ownership of his trailer to Billy), and wind rattling the windows, and Max is asleep in the next room. It’s...cozy.

El stopped by earlier that afternoon, Max in tow, demanding Billy let them stay because Mike was being a dick or a DnD campaign was going on too long and El’s character died a while back so she was bored, or...something. Possibly Mike was being a dick about her character being dead. Max kept chiming in with her own two cents worth but it really just made the whole thing harder to follow.

But it didn’t really matter why they stopped by, they’re always coming up with reasons to invade his living room and eat all his food and nag him about teaching them how to do fancy braids. And Max usually wanders off to nap in his room when El starts asking Billy to read to her.

Which is what he’s doing now.

Last month he read her Jane Eyre (her idea). A week ago they started The Hobbit.

It’s been slow going, considering how often El interrupts to ask questions, and every time there’s a song they have the same argument about him not actually singing, but they’re making progress.

He’s reading through the weird goblin song as monotone as possible just so he can laugh at El’s disgruntled scrunchy face, and putting up with her poking his thigh with her toes when he rolls his eyes at her, and honestly having the time of his fucking life, because, yeah, saying things have changed in the past two years is the understatement of the decade.

When he gets to the end of Over Hill and Under Hill and closes the book she gasps dramatically, sitting up and pulling the ugly orange throw blanket (gift from Mrs. Byers) she’d been snuggled up in tighter around her shoulders.

“Billy, no!”

He drops the book in his lap and raises his eyebrows at her. “It’s the end of the chapter.”

“No.”

“Yeah, it definitely is.”

El frowns at him, her whole face going pinched. “But you can’t stop there.”

It’s moments like this that almost make Billy forget she can kill people with her brain. Moments when she just looks like a kid, all wrapped up in her favourite blanket and pouting.

And it’s like she knows that’s his goddamn kryptonite. Because those moments also remind him that she deserves this. More than anyone he knows, she deserves all the childish crap she wants, and more. It won’t ever replace the childhood that was taken from her, but it’s a start.

So, needless to say, Billy has a hard time saying no to her.

He drops his head back against the cushion behind him, staring at the ceiling for a moment—pretending to contemplate, while she glowers at him—and sighs loudly.

“One more chapter.”

She beams.

They’re only a few pages into Riddles in the Dark when a car pulls up, and Billy doesn’t even have time to put the book down before the front door bursts open.

“El! Will thought he—is that The Hobbit?” Dustin comes to an abrupt halt two paces into the room, blinking at the book in Billy’s hands. All his little friends nearly collide with his back, and there’s suddenly a gaggle of obnoxious teenagers huddled in Billy’s doorway.

“Who cares,” Lucas scoffs, pushing him out of the way so he, Wheeler, and Will, can shuffle the rest of the way inside. “Get out of the way!”

Billy is still trying to figure out what the fuck’s even happening when Steve goddamn Harrington walks in behind his pack of brats. Because of course he was the one who drove them here. Him being a fine upstanding citizen and all that. With nothing better to do, apparently. (Not that Billy has room to judge anymore.)

Suddenly the bickering kids are mostly background noise. Billy always did have a hard time concentrating on anything else when Steve’s in the room. Especially when he’s looking like that, warm brown eyes lit up with interest, and the corner of his mouth pulling upwards in a half-smile. His cheeks are pink from the chill outside, his hair a mess from the wind, and locking eyes with him makes Billy’s heart pound.

They’ve been on good terms these past few months and it’s a special kind of torture that Billy wouldn’t give up for the fucking world.

But he doesn’t get to enjoy the view for long because—

“—the Mind Flayer might be back!”

Billy stiffens. “What?” He glances at El. She’s sitting up straight now, her eyes dark, expression closed off.

Mike sighs irritably. “Weren’t you listening? Will thinks he might have sensed the Mind Flayer, so we needed to make sure El’s okay.” He crosses his arms, glaring at Billy. “Because the stupid thing wants her dead, remember?”

“Wheeler,” Steve hisses, and smacks the kid’s shoulder.

“Yeah.” Billy grits his teeth, cold fingers trailing down his spine. “I remember.”

The room is silent for several agonizing seconds, the kids all exchanging glances. Until Billy’s bedroom door opens and Max shuffles out, rubbing her eyes.

“What’s everyone doing here?”

They’d all been hanging out at Steve’s when Will had a bad feeling. The same kind of prickling bone-deep chill he’d gotten two summers ago. Needless to say, ignoring it until people started dying didn’t seem like the way to go this time, hence the home invasion.

Which had been Steve’s idea, apparently. Or. His initial reaction had been to blurt out does this mean Billy’s possessed again, and it had spiraled from there. To Mike freaking out about El not being safe because she was here, to Lucas reminding him that Billy had only gotten the better of her when she didn’t have powers, to Dustin yelling about checking in with her either way because she might have The Facts.

And so they’d broken a couple traffic laws to get here.

Billy suspects Steve feels guilty about suggesting he might be possessed, because he got very awkward when it was brought up. And he stepped in several times when Wheeler and Sinclair’s interrogation got a little too intense (there were threats of hot pokers involved).

It should have felt condescending—Billy’s a grown-ass adult, he doesn’t need someone defending him from lanky teenagers—but he can’t help feeling a little warm when it’s Steve coming to his defense.

The discussion overall is a mess. El doesn’t have any answers, Billy hasn’t felt anything odd lately, and the lack of anything to go on beyond Will having a momentary freakout is putting everyone on edge.

Max, who squished herself onto the couch between Billy and El, cuts through the cyclical arguing after the third dramatic eye-roll from Mike. “Guys, can you cool it for a second. We’re getting nowhere.” Her protest is punctuated by a yawn, which makes El giggle.

“She’s right,” Steve sighs, mussing with his hair absentmindedly. “Billy and El are fine, everyone’s fine, we should all get some sleep.”

“Dude, are you sure you’re good to drive?” Dustin asks, squinting appraisingly at Steve. It’s a fair question, it’s late and Steve looks like he’s about to keel over, but Billy’s not sure he likes where this is going.

“Who said anything about driving?” Max snorts, glancing at Billy.

Damnit Max.

“Is there even space for everyone here? This place is tiny.”

“Fuck you, Wheeler, not all of us can live in goddamn mansions.”

The kid opens his mouth to retort, bristling with indignation, but Will interjects, stuttering a little in his haste, “I, um, I’d feel a little safer if everyone, you know, stayed in one place? At least for tonight?”

And that pretty much settles it.

Once everyone mumbles their (in some cases reluctant) agreement, El crows “Sleepover!” and drags Max off to find spare blankets, leaving Billy sitting on the couch alone and wondering where the hell Steve is gonna sleep. For...no particular reason...other than…

Well.

It’s not like Mike was wrong, the trailer wasn’t built to house six teenagers and two twenty-somethings. Most of them are going to end up squished on the living room floor, and Max and El already called dibs on the couch, and...well, unless Steve wants to crash in the fucking kitchen there really isn’t anywhere else for him to go other than Billy’s room. He doesn’t even have a goddamn tub the guy could curl up in.

And just because he’s wanted Steve Harrington in his bed since minute one, doesn’t mean he wants it right now. Not like this.

Because like this he has to deal with Max’s side-eye, and El’s knowing look (the girl has been in his head, she literally knows everything about him), and Will’s weird wide-eyed interest, and worst of all, Steve not doing this because he wants to.

In fact, judging by the way he blanches when Max suggests it, Billy’s room is the last place he’d like to be. Which is not really something Billy ever really wanted hard proof of, thanks.

He’s dealt with enough in his life, he didn’t need to know exactly how repulsive Steve finds the idea of sleeping in the same room as him.

“You’re welcome to sleep in your goddamn car if my floor isn’t good enough for you, Harrington,” he bites out, probably harsher than was warranted.

Steve blinks at him, mouth falling open, eyebrows raised.

“Oh my god, it’s too cold to sleep outside, Billy,” Max says, rolling her eyes. “Stop being such a dick.”

“Whatever,” he mutters. “Figure your shit out, I’m going to bed.”

The silence he leaves behind is tense and awkward.

He’s been laying in bed staring at the ceiling, moping and berating himself, for about ten minutes when the door creaks open.

“Hey, uh,” Steve’s voice is soft, uncertain, and Billy feels like even more of an asshole for snapping at him. “I’m just...gonna...crash on the floor. Um. Good night.”

This is punishment isn’t it. For being such a douche for so long. Now he gets to try and fall asleep knowing Steve fucking Harrington is laying nearby, sleepy and warm and out of reach. He listens to Steve shuffle around, getting situated, laying out blankets and trying to find a soft bit of carpet to lay on. Has to bite his tongue to keep from saying something stupid. Like offering up his bed. Or poking fun at how much Steve sighs when he’s getting comfortable (Because it’s dumb, not cute. Definitely not cute.).

It’s unclear how long they lay there in the dark, Billy watching moonlight cast the outlines of skeletal trees across the wall, listening to Steve’s quiet breathing to remind himself he’s not alone. That the shadows are just shadows and there’s no reason to be tense and sweating and—

Billy’s pretty sure it’s been long enough that Steve should be asleep, considering how tired he looked, so he tosses his blanket off and swipes the pack of cigarettes off his bedside table, hoping to god the floor doesn’t creak when he pads across the room. There’s no noise coming from the other room, so either the kids are asleep too or a miracle has occurred and they’re all just being really quiet.

He slips out the side door, and takes a breath. The lake is too still, despite the wind. No self-respecting body of water doesn’t have waves. But it’s pretty enough, he supposes. Enough to make for a decent view while he smokes a cigarette.

Takes a couple tries to light up. His hands aren’t what they used to be, especially in the cold. Holding off a thirty-foot meat puppet bare-handed does that to a person, tears shit up that doesn’t heal right afterwards.

He’s about halfway through his cig when Steve joins him. Billy’s shoulders stiffen at the sound of footsteps, and he doesn’t relax at all when he realizes who it is.

“Hey.”

Out of the corner of his eye Billy watches Steve lean against the porch railing beside him. He takes another drag before he looks over properly, keeping his expression as neutral as possible. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“Couldn’t sleep?”

Billy raises his eyebrows. Gestures with his cigarette and turns away again. “No shit.”

He can feel Steve’s eyes on him, and he resolutely ignores it. Stares out at the water and flicks cigarette ash over the railing. The wind picks up again and cuts through his thin shirt. Should’ve grabbed a fucking sweater. Not because the cold bothers him at all, but...well, because it doesn’t anymore.

He shivers when a completely-unrelated-to-the-weather chill runs down his spine.

“Soo…” Steve fidgets, and trails off awkwardly, his nonchalance painfully fake.

The corner of Billy’s mouth twitches, and he raises his cigarette to his lips, a flimsy excuse to hide his smile.

“Did, uh. Did El choose the book, or…?”

He chokes on a mouthful of smoke. Doc Owens did tell him he shouldn’t have taken up smoking again. Though he was probably more concerned about Billy’s scarred lungs and than Steve Harrington-related hazards.

Coughing definitely does hurt a lot more than it used to though.

He flinches when Steve touches his shoulder, pats it, rubs a little—trying to help with the coughing, presumably—making Billy’s heart trip over itself.

Once he’s no longer wheezing he wipes his eyes, and waves off Steve’s apologies, hoping the embarrassed flush on his cheeks isn’t too visible in the dim light.

Steve’s hand stays where it is.

For several quiet moments Billy waits for him to withdraw but he doesn’t, and Billy finally meets his eyes. Which was probably a mistake. His heart skips again. He’s still not used to Steve looking at him like that. Soft and wide-eyed and concerned and…

God, he’s so fucking beautiful. Billy used to dream about getting this close without needing pretense, without having to pretend, getting to bask in the warmth coming off him and feel his breath on his skin and see something other than indifference—or worse, the hatred that came later—looking back at him. What he has now is...not quite what he wants. It lights him up but leaves him wanting.

Another gust of wind makes a mess of Steve’s hair, locks falling into his eyes and sticking up in all directions, and Billy itches. Clenches his fist to stop himself from fixing it.

“Her dweeby little friends kept talking about it, and she couldn’t get through it herself. So...” Billy trails off, scratching his cheek and glancing away. “I may have had a copy laying around.”

Steve’s hand finally leaves its perch on his shoulder—both a disappointment and a relief—to brush the stray locks of hair out of his face. He grins at Billy, whole face lit up and stupidly pretty even as his fingers get stuck in tangles. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Billy bites the inside of his cheek. “My mom used to read it to me.”

It’s easier to talk about her now. Mostly with El, who’s still the only person who knows the full story, but, well, he’s pretty sure at least Max and Steve have guessed the bits they weren’t told. Or, hell, maybe El told everyone everything during those months he was out of commission and everyone thought he was dead, and no one’s brought it up to his face because it would be awkward as hell.

In any case, Steve’s expression softens.

“Oh,” he says quietly. “So, you and her were pretty close, huh?”

If asked Billy would have blamed the sudden sting of tears in his eyes on the wind. “I guess.” A pause. “Not enough for her to take me when she left,” he mumbles, chewing his thumbnail and frowning out at the lake.

His cigarette hangs between two fingers in his other hand.

“Billy…”

“Don’t. I’ve heard every condolence in the book, okay. It’s...it’s fine.”

For several long moments the only sounds are the dry rustle of leaves in the wind and Billy’s nail-biting.

Then Steve slips his fingers around Billy’s wrist and tugs gently. Too surprised to resist, Billy lets him. Lets his hand be pulled away from his face, thumb pressed to his pulsepoint, lets him hold on for a beat longer than necessary before letting go. And Billy stares at him the whole time, lips parted, shoulders tense, waiting to see what Steve will do next.

What he does next is smile a little sad, and tilt his head. “It’s a bad habit, you know. Biting your nails.”

“I don’t have any other kind of habit.”

“Hm,” Steve hums, “I don’t think that’s true.”

Which is a weird thing to say, and a weird thing to get emotional over, and yet Billy kind of feels like he’s been punched in the chest.

He rubs at the knotted scar tissue that spiderwebs across his whole torso, and can’t help but wonder—not for the first time—if Steve’s perception of him might be a little blinded by the one good thing he’s ever done. He’s tried to be better since then, atone a little, but Steve’s confidence in him still feels unearned.

And all the work he’s put into getting his shit together might all be for nothing anyways, if some fucking slime monster decides to crawl down his throat again. If Will’s right and that thing is back...for all he knows the thing has it out for him too, after the shit he pulled at Starcourt. He thought he’d end up dead, he wasn’t exactly worried about making himself a target in the long run.

But now...

Billy exhales slowly through his nose, eyes falling shut for a moment before he grits out, “I can’t do it again.” Steve blinks at him, nonplussed. “This,” he taps his scars, “The fucking. Mind Flayer bullshit. I can’t.”

“You…” Steve folds his arms across his stomach, hands clutching his elbows. It’s a nervous tic that makes Billy ache. Always makes his heart clench, but tonight that gets lost in the black hole of anxiety already twisting up his insides “You won’t have to, I—we’ll protect you. If we stick together—”

“It’s not a guarantee.”

“No, but—”

“We don’t know anything about this alien shit, for all we know I was never really free of it, and—I just—promise you won’t let it use me again,” Billy’s voice breaks, and he clenches his jaw to try and hold it all back, the taste of bile in the back of his throat, the crushing weight of existential panic pressing in.

Steve’s eyes widen, “What do you mean by that?”

“You know what I mean. Crash another car into me. Let your ex shoot me in the fucking head. I don’t care how, I need you to stop me.” He needs to understand, Billy’s eyes bore into him, willing him to understand.

But he shakes his head, face twisted up with horror, “I don’t think I can do that.”

Billy takes a step towards him, desperation bleeding into his voice, “Steve.” He blinks back tears. “Please.”

“Don’t—” Steve looks away, curling in on himself, “Don’t do that.”

“Do what, ask you to perform a public fucking service?” Billy spits, eyes stinging, face burning. He regrets the words once they’re spoken, but there’s no taking them back now. He’s talked with Owens about this sort of shit and he thought he was past it.

Apparently not.

He deflates. Like a slap in the face, it stops him dead, turns his agonizing back inward where it fucking belongs. Wiping his eyes, he sighs.

It’s too late to stop the puppy-dog eyes Steve’s giving him now though. The unreserved sadness in the way he’s looking at Billy is so overwhelming it’s almost palpable. “Is that really how you feel?”

Is it? He’s not sure anymore. It was for a long time. Long enough that he couldn’t remember feeling any other kind of way until El reminded him. But now…

He shrugs. “It’s...complicated. I—ah, shit!” His hand jerks, and the cigarette he’d been holding falls to the ground. That never used to hurt so fucking much. “Damn thing burnt me.”

He sucks on the stinging knuckle, waiting for the pain to subside, tasting salt and ash, and looks back up at Steve.

They lock eyes.

Steve’s expression has closed off, his gaze still heavy, but with something else, sliding down Billy’s face with an intensity Billy’s not quite sure what to make of. He’s struck dumb by the attention (not something he usually has a problem handling), lips still wrapped around his finger but his mouth has gone slack.

It feels like a static shock, one crackling jolt of a moment, something sharp lancing through him, and then it’s over. Steve’s blinking, glancing away. Billy’s hand falls to his side. It would be like it never happened except he still feels charged, pent up, heart full to bursting and stomach in knots.

Billy sighs, and rubs his eyes. “Let’s just...go back to bed.”

Wording, Billy. Wording. His cheeks warm a little, but he manages to keep his expression neutral as he turns and heads back inside.

He practically throws himself into his bed, curling up on his side and pulling the blankets around him, back turned to Steve. Sleep seems like a pipe dream at this point, but doing anything other than pretending to get some rest would involve talking to and/or looking at Steve, so. Not an option.

But after he listens to Steve settle back into his little pile of blankets, the minutes crawl by, and Billy gets twitchy. Wants so badly to move, toss and turn and fidget, and say something, but doesn’t know where to start and doesn’t want to draw Steve’s attention, and—

God, this is so fucking stupid.

Billy rolls over. “Steve.”

“Yeah?”

The room is silent for a beat. He shuffles around a little and the sheets rustle loudly in the quiet.

“Would you get up here,” he says suddenly, all at once, demanding, scarcely believing what the fuck is coming out of his mouth.

“...What?” Steve sounds a little breathless and it makes Billy’s stomach clench.

“Just...there’s enough room for both of us, alright.” Jesus christ.

The lump of Steve and blankets on the floor doesn’t move. He doesn’t speak, for what seems like an eternity, and Billy’s about to brush it off, turn it into a joke, take it back, something, when—

“Okay.”

Oh.

What?

Oh god, he’s getting up. This is happening. Billy stares at his silhouette, the tense line of his shoulders, his awkward gait, and wonders why he’s agreeing to this if he’s so goddamn uncomfortable.

Guess the floor is officially less comfortable than being in bed with Billy. Joy.

But then he’s sliding under the covers and Billy forgets to be bitter because his brain is mostly static at this point. White noise and his heartbeat thundering in his ears and the deafening creak of boxspring groaning under unexpected weight.

And Steve’s doing that thing again, sighing, little hums as he wiggles around getting himself situated, and Billy is dying. He thought he was being punished before, but now he’s sure, because this is ridiculous. No grown man should be that adorable.

By the time he’s gotten himself comfy Billy is about ready to combust.

It doesn’t help that he’s decided to lay down extremely close and facing Billy. It’s so intimate it hurts.

“Do you think you’ll actually sleep?”

Billy shrugs noncommittally. “Maybe.” He tries to make it sound more casual than it is. Like it’s a choice and not the sad fact that he’s too fucking anxious to relax.

Seems he’s not the only one though, Steve keeps fidgeting, his face doing something weird Billy can’t quite see in the gloom. But he doesn’t have to see to recognize Steve’s tics.

“Spit it out,” Billy sighs.

“What did you mean. When you said it’s complicated?” Steve asks softly.

Ah.

“You really wanna get into this?” He sure doesn’t, but Steve nods and Billy’s fucking weak when it comes to giving Steve what he wants. “I meant that...I...used to feel like that. All the time. It was fucking relentless.” He thinks about rolling onto his back so he won’t have to look at Steve for this, but finds himself stuck, drawn in by the faint starlight reflected in Steve’s eyes. “But nowadays I’ve got...shit to hang on for, I guess. Doesn’t make it all go away, but it makes it easier.”

“Oh.” Steve wriggles a little closer, his hand landing in the space between their pillows. Right next to Billy’s hand. Close enough that he can feel him there, but not quite touching.

He doesn’t say anything else, which Billy’s grateful for. He’s got Doc Owens for the big speeches about how life is worth living, and it’s grating enough getting them from someone who’s literal job is to say that kind of shit.

It helps. It does. But he can only handle so much.

Speaking of which.

“I’m sorry,” Billy says quietly. He’s keeping his hand too still for it to come across as casual, trembling with the effort. If he moved his pinky just a little they’d be touching, and he’s painfully aware of this fact.

“What for?”

“Earlier, when I...I was asking for a lot.”

“Oh.” Steve shifts, the blankets rustling as he shuffles around, but as much as he fidgets, his hand stays where it is. “Billy...I don’t want you to have to go through that again, but…”

Billy, on an impulse—with a feeling somewhat akin to stepping off a ledge without a parachute—hooks his pinky over Steve’s. In the dark he hears a soft intake of breath, can just barely make out the way Steve’s mouth falls open, moonlight casting shadows when his tongue darts out to lick his lips.

“I know. It wasn’t fair to—”

“No, no,” Steve flips his palm upward and laces their fingers together, squeezing Billy’s hand. “It’s not that. You have every right to be scared, and...look, this whole thing is batshit crazy, none of us know how to deal with it.”

Billy runs his thumb along the length of Steve’s index finger, marvelling at the contact, and the way his pulse flutters when the gesture is returned. It takes him a second to find his voice, “True, but you’ve never asked me to mercy kill you.”

Steve exhales, the ghost of a laugh, and it warms the back of Billy’s hand. He shivers, his whole arm tingling. “Billy, I haven’t gone through half the shit you have.” A pause. “I want to help. Anything you need, just...not that.”

Anything. It catches in Billy’s throat, stops his heart for just a second, reminds him that they’re inches apart, in bed together. For the second time tonight he feels like he’s been punched in the sternum, and he goes rigid, relaxing only minutely when Steve squeezes his hand again.

“Careful, pretty boy. Saying shit like that might give a guy ideas,” he murmurs, gaze searching, wandering Steve’s face, the shadows cast by the soft fall of hair across his forehead.

“Oh yeah?” Steve pulls their clasped hands to his chest. His heart is racing, but his voice is steady, “Well, have enough ideas with no follow-through and a guy might think you’re all talk.”

Billy’s breath catches. The world stops. “You...you don’t want me to follow through.”

The reality of the situation hits him like a train. Flirting is one thing, he’s always had a hard time keeping his mouth shut around Steve, but this is something he’d only ever regretted letting himself imagine because he knew he’d never have it. And now that it’s within reach...

“See, the thing is…” Steve slides a little closer. His knee brushes Billy’s thigh. “I really, really do.”

“I—” his voice breaks, mouth dry, throat closing up as he tries to swallow past the lump making it hard to breathe.

“Billy,” Steve whispers, a hot puff of air against Billy’s lips. “Please.”

Fuck.

He surges forward—hard enough that their teeth click together—and his mouth muffles Steve’s gasp. The hand not cradled against Steve’s chest comes up to touch his cheek, fingertips caressing his jaw, coaxing him closer, sliding back to thread into his hair.

Steve’s lips are plush and warm against his, curved into a smile that leaves Billy tingling, dizzy and drunk on sensations. The way his mouth tastes, the softness of his skin under Billy’s scarred palm, the way his heart twists when Steve reaches out to touch his chest.

He pulls back, and rests his forehead against Steve’s. His eyes stay shut and he just breathes. Soaks up the moment.

“God,” Steve sighs, nuzzling their noses together. “Always knew you’d be good at that.”

“Yeah?” Billy asks quietly, fiddling with the stray locks of hair behind Steve’s ear. He’s feeling...raw. Vulnerable. It’s a fragile state of being, one wrong word away from breaking. Or a few right words away from fucking bliss, but that never seems to be how it goes for him.

“Yeah, even when we didn’t like each other I wondered. Annoyed the hell outta me.”

“Steve…” He pauses, choosing his words carefully, “I always liked you.” If his heart wasn’t already racing, it sure would be now. He braces himself for the worst.

But it doesn’t come. There’s a pause. Steve’s fingers curl into the front of his shirt. “Oh.” He presses a chaste kiss to Billy’s lips, lingering, before chuckling lightly. “That explains a lot actually.”

Billy’s cheeks burn. Yeah, he supposes it would. “You’re not...freaked out?” he ventures, hesitant.

“Mm, nope.” He reaches up, brushes a stray curl out of Billy’s face. “Definitely okay with this.”

I love you.

The thought doesn’t shock him but the desire to say it out loud does. The way it lodges itself in his throat and sticks. He hasn’t said it to anyone—hasn’t wanted to say it to anyone—since his mother left. The precedent is intimidating, but…

Steve smells like honey and clean air, laying in bed with Billy, warm and pliant next to him tracing patterns in Billy’s scars, his gaze is fond, his smile is soft, and...and Billy’s in love.

He swallows. Pushes it down for now.

He kisses Steve again. Slower. A gentle press of mouths, and another. Takes his time deepening it, teasing with his tongue. He waits for Steve to pull away, to decide that this thing is one thing too far, but it never happens. Steve lets him escalate, and gives as good as he gets.

They’re both breathless and flushed and Billy’s riding high on the bubbling warmth in his chest, lightheaded from it. He slides his leg over Steve’s, straddling his thigh, pressing down, seeking friction.

He shifts, rocking forward a little, and Steve moans, low and deep right in Billy’s ear.

They both freeze. Steve’s breath coming in ragged little bursts against the side of Billy’s face.

“Pretty boy, as much as I’d love to hear more of that, no one else in the house does.”

“Jesus christ.”

“No need to bring him into it.”

“Shut up,” Steve laughs and buries his face in Billy’s shoulder. “Just give me a minute.”

“Aw, I get you all riled up, baby?”

Steve slides a hand down, down, and palms Billy’s cock, drawing a short gasp from him. “Yes.”

They stay entangled the rest of the night, dozing in and out of consciousness, Steve pressing the occasional sleepy kiss to Billy’s collarbone. And...Billy’s not sure what will happen after tonight, but he knows it’ll be easier to deal with if he gets to keep this. Whatever this is. He doesn’t have the heart to ask, not yet, but for the first time in a while, he has hope.

#steve harrington #harringrove #billy hargrove #stranger things #harringrove ficlet #harringrove fic #a raven's writing desk

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momo-de-avis · 3 years

Note

what are 2 books you feel you should be financially compensated for reading (beyond reimbursement for purchasing them)?

hard mode: nothing by zuzas.

now those are high stakes

first of all, this is hard for me to answer because I genuinely cannot read a book through to the end if I don't like it. I won't go past fifty pages if it's annoying me. So there are only a handful of books I can say I hated because I wasted time reading them, and even those I didn't finish.

But there are two, and one of them I actually talk about it all the time

First of all, fuck you, Flaubert. Fuck Emma Bovary. Fuck that book. Not only financial compensation, but emotional of some sort, cause you go through the 7 stages of grief reading that piece of garbage. Not after, during.

Like, every time I try to explain why I hate Madame Bovary so much I tell this little anecdote about my life. It was probably 2AM, I was still living with my mom, and I was in the living room. Back then, the History Channel---before it became exclusively devoted to Aliens, Hitler, and World War II---had a super interesting show called, I believe it was, Great Books. I caught only a few episodes, there was one on Janes Austen, another on Dostoevsky---and yes, one for Madame Bovary. Which was the one I saw that night.

And on that night, I was just chilling on my ass, and there was this expert on Flaubert explaining how the guy came up with the idea for the book. This woman had a PhD in literature. She studied Flaubert's life and history down to the letters and his intimacy. And I chuckled to myself, completely alone---and listen, you're free to believe whatever the hell yall want, but I swear on my cat this shit is true---and said to myself: "I bet this guy ran away to a cabin and dressed himself as woman to write this book." In fact, I hate Madame Bovary SO MUCH I've making this joke for YEARS, and it's why I call that pile of regurgitated french trash "literary transvesty" because it is literally a man playing dress up with no counter-balance to the absolute derailment of this woman's down-spiral. It's just the story of Emma Bovary going off her rockers, and there's no point where there might a slight indication of societal criticism. She's just a piece of shit. You know, at LEAST Tolstoi gave us Kittie and Levine as a counter-point. At LEAST Tolstoi built-up an immense backdrop with Stepane's adultery to understand the horrid treatment Anna is subjected to. At LEAST we are given a good characterisation of Karenine enough, whereas Charles Bovary is limper than a soggy sock. The only Ken doll I owned as a child had more charisma, and that bitch had no clothes.

And AT THAT POINT in the documentary, that lady expert with a whole PhD says something to this effect: APPARENTLY, Flaubert DID run off into a cabin in the fucking woods or some shit, and he did so with a locket, and what was in that locket? The hairs of his lover. Like, oh my God, I hate you so fucking much.

What I hate THE MOST about Madame Bovary is that despite being a shit book and shit story, and having been written by a guy who purposefully isolated himself from the woman he loved in the ass of the world, with a piece of her hair, as he dead ass attempted to "become a woman", whatever the hell that meant (but then again, so did every romantic writer back in the 19th century), this motherfucker was trialled in a court of law for this book (because adultery, women are frail, scandal, blah blah blah), and his defense was so amazing he actually coined a very important term in writing called Indirect Free Speech. Like, I genuinely hate this motherfucker but this absolute genius final take on his shit book just makes me hate him more. (For reference, this is where I learned this, Hans Robert Jauss explains this in his book Reception Theory)

The second book I think I deserve financial compensation for wasting the like, 3 days I wasted reading those first 100 pages or so, was Juliet Marillier's Daughter of the Forest. Oh my God. Listen, back in the day, like every teenage girl in the early/late 2000s, I was discovering paganism and that kind of crap, so I had a lot of wiccan friends. And there was Charmed. Not the rebooted crap, the OG Charmed, when Rose McGowan was closeted terf and we believed she was cool. Everyone loved Charmed. And everyone who bought into the new-pagan stuff and wiccan stuff, they were all introduced by one of two ways: either it was Charmed, or The Mists of Avalon. Either or. No other way. At least around my circle, that is.

So I had a lot of friends squealing over this one book from Marillier. I was absolutely obsessed with Arthuriana because of Mists of Avalon, and my wiccan/goth friends were all over me telling me "OH you GOTTA read Daughter of the Forest if you love Mists of Avalon". It's comforting to know the one wiccan friend who persisted with that crap went wacko and literally vanished into the horizon because I wanted to smack her in the face with that stupid book.

Basically, at the time, I was balls deep into Irish Mythology. And as I read it, I thought it was EERILY SIMILAR to the Children of Lir. Evil stepmother transforming her step-children into swans? Hm? The one thing that threw me off was that, in the story, the hero had to sew these shirts from some godawful plant that fucked up her hands, and that ISN'T in the original Children of Lir story. Then again, Children of Lir is genuinely not a compelling story. Of all Irish myths, it might be the least compelling.

However, I recently learned that IT IS the same tale, despite what Marillier sold as being "inspired by the Brother Grimm". It turns out the Children of Lir is a tale known throughout Europe, spanning from Spain to Ireland, with some variations, and it exists in Germany, where the sewing of the shirts with that weird plant is a plot point. So I guess that was a determent, considering the story is set in Ireland. Also, you can tell the story was written by a herbalist because, oh my god she goes off about plants all the time.

I basically stopped reading because the heroine is a bit obnoxious and it felt like the plot was going nowhere. And at some point, it was literally a book about plants. Like, Marion Zimmer Bradley's books can be boring (take the Forst House, which is one of my favourites, there's gotta be like 100 pages in there about Eilan's boring life picking flowers, but it builds up to her character, at least). But this one, it was going nowhere, while at the same time, Bretons were landing in Ireland? What? My anger came from when I checked the wikipedia page before I gave up because I wanted to see if there was something redeemable in that shit, like, come on, motivate me. And when I read that there's a fucking rape plot thrown in there that bears no relevance for no other reason than... I don't know, fear of men? I gave up. That was definitely when I stopped reading and decided to set it aside. It's weird cause, from what I remember, I think the author wanted to write it in pagan Ireland, but I don't remember a single mention of a pagan god? It was so convoluted, man.

And why the Children of Lir??? I 100% share the opinion of Sorcha Hegarty from Candlelit Tales regarding the Children of Lir: it is THE LEAST interesting tale in Irish Myth, and also---and these are her words, not mine---the least Irish lmao

Honourable mention: Thérèse Raquin by Zola is another one that made me SO FUCKING PISSED OFF that piece of shit book REQUIRES psychological counseling. Like, financial compensation isn't even enough to go through that crap.

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thephantomofthe-internet · 4 years

Text

Read into Me Chapter 4: North and South

Steve Harrington x Reader

CATCH UP ON THE SERIES HERE

Words: 4,753

Warnings: Swearing, bullying, i reference the plot of Wuthering Heights and that has some icky stuff in it idk what to tag that though

Author’s Note: How’re you guys liking the series so far? I’m really enjoying it, I’d love to hear what you guys think, good or bad! Also, is over 4k too much for you guys? I used to strive to hit that mark when I first started but the fandom’s changed so much, I feel like an old fart lmao

Tag List: @divinity-deos @thecaptainsgingersnap @wolfish-willow @scoopsohboi @herre-gud-nej @clockworkballerina @maddie1504 @i-am-trash-so-much-its-scary @buckysarge @wildcvltre @stanleyyelnatsiii @unusuallchild @alwaysstressedout @linkispink1995 @asharpkniffe @a-big-ball-of-idk @mochminnie @used-avocado @sledgy14 @the-creative-lie

You didn’t hear from Steve after that, save for him returning your essay with minimal markings and a graded ‘A’ on the top. He’d gone back to his people as quickly as he’d left them, letting Vicki talk his ear off from across the aisle. You didn’t mind too much, her voice was grating on the ear, but her hair was pretty and she actually seemed to ask him questions. You didn’t know why it mattered to you that she seemed genuinely interested in Steve, but you decided that he deserved someone who cared enough to know him. Everyone deserved someone who cared enough to know them. Tina just talked about herself for the whole class when everyone was supposed to be discussing the book at hand, Wuthering Heights, and it got very annoying. You just filled out your discussion questions and did your best to be invisible. No one seemed to notice except for Mr. Lawrence, who’d scolded you twice now for not participating in group discussions.

“I know that you know this stuff, but I can’t give you participation points if you don’t participate with others.” He handed you back your discussion sheet for chapter four. You’d gotten everything right; Mr. Lawrence was lobbing low balls at the class to try to get them to read the book. You didn’t change your tune; you didn’t want to talk to your peers. It didn’t matter anyway, no matter what you said to them you’d still write down the same answers and get the same grade.

You didn’t hear much about your failings to participate after he handed back your first essays. You weren’t surprised that you’d gotten a low ‘A’ on the paper; you hadn’t tried that hard on it. You noted that he’d given you a good grade on your editing, which Mr. Lawrence noted on the page that he could count it for your participation for the class, since you did so well with it. You couldn’t complain because it was a decent way to pass.

When the bell rang, you made your usual break for it, excited to be on your free period and free to sit in the sun for the afternoon. Tracy Lords was in Samantha’s gym class and with the weather so lovely they’d do class outside, giving you a chance to work on front profiles with her flat, pretty features.

Steve was dreading getting his paper back. He didn’t trust himself to get a decent grade and even with your help he was certain he’d pull above a ‘D’. Mr. Lawrence always handed out pairs face down, so no one got their grades till they were ready to flip over the page. This was the moment that he always dreaded. He found that it was easiest to rip it off like a Band-Aid, just flip it and see so it can be over. He never read comments, he just needed to know if he failed, but the bright red writing on the top of the page caught his eye immediately-‘I’m impressed, Mr. Harrington’ with a 81 percent seeping through to the back of the page. He stared at the grade until the bell rang, unsure if it was even real, if he was even awake. Once he woke up from his beautiful dream, he knew he had one thing to do.

He burst in the hallway like a golden retriever out an open gate, searching for you without really knowing where to begin. He spotted you at your locker. “Y/N!” he called. You flinched, your shoulders hunching into your neck. You could feel people looking at you, which turned you beet red, almost purple, from embarrassment. You didn’t move from your space, hoping that the tile under you would pull back into a trap door and make you disappear from the scene. It didn’t, of course, and Steve found you quickly.

“Look at this!” he held up his paper to you, beaming like a child. You looked at the paper slowly, taking in the grade and the note at the top of the page, then his face.

“Oh…that’s great.” You said, unsure how to really respond. How was supposed to respond to someone else’s B?

Steve didn’t take in your uncertainty, continuing on “Thank you,” he said earnestly, lowering his voice to add “This is probably the best grade I’ve ever gotten in that class.”

“I’m glad I could help.” You couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride in how you’d helped him out. Usually, the only people around that you could help was your grandparents with chores or Samantha with getting out of her house for an afternoon and while you enjoyed helping them out, you didn’t get the same joy from it, having done it for so long. Helping Steve made you feel full in a way.

Tommy Hanson had been trying to call the new kid, Billy, over to him when he saw the whole scene go down. And he didn’t like it. Not one bit. There was a hierarchy to Hawkins, rules to follow until you graduated and either solidified your choices or moved the hell out. Steve was popular, the home town hero, the sports star. That kind of power was not something to throw away on a little nobody. Tommy wished he could be that popular, to have that sort of accessibility and he got close when he kept his friends in the right station. Steve had already fucked up once, that little Nancy Wheeler bitch had already demoted him from sex god to weepy heartbroken sad boy, but that was still working for him. And he needed his backup plan to still be cool.

Tommy stalked up to Steve, throwing an arm over his shoulders. “Hey, dude, come over here, Stefanie Tomlinson’s panties are showing, you’ve gotta see this shit.” He whispered at him, loud enough to make you cringe and look away, turning back to your books and the stickers on your locker door.

“Dude, don’t be gross.” Steve said, turning his attention back to you “Like I said, thanks for the help.” Tommy kept trying to pull him away, but Steve was taller than him and harder to move around.

“Yeah, like I said, no biggie.” You kept your gaze firmly locked on your locker door. You refused to be mocked by Tommy Hanson. He practically pulled Steve away from you, looking you over with a sneer as they walked off. Tommy didn’t like you, which you already knew. It wasn’t easy for him to hide his hatred in a small town. You didn’t know why, but he’d always been like this, ever since you were kids. He used to push you into the mud and chase you off the swings in elementary school. Since you’d grown up, his cruelty had mostly subsided, but the animosity remained, especially after your mother had threatened his family with albeit an unrelated law suit, which succeeded in getting the whole family away from yours. That was the last helpful thing your mother had done for you.

Tommy kept his arm locked around his friend’s shoulders, escorting him away from potential social suicide. Steve held up his arms in defeat, laughing all the way. “Come on dude, she’s not anything to waste your time on.” Tommy said in a voice loud enough for you to hear, but quiet enough to seem like a whisper.

You shrunk in place, unable to pull your eyes away from the scene, a silent plea echoing in your mind for him to look back if he wasn’t a dick head like Tommy, left unspoken but felt in the depths of your soul. You didn’t know why it hurt you as badly as it had; you knew in your head that he no better than his friends. But your heart had hoped that he was different, that he could be better than him. You turned away before it hurt too badly, collecting your books in your arms and rushing off towards your spare period, hoping to find a bit of quiet to recover from what you’d just experienced.

Steve turned back to see you walking away, his laughter dying in his throat, what Tommy said bouncing around his mind. As soon as Tommy released him, he smacked the freckle faced boy hard in the ribs. “Can you try to not be a dick for five minutes?” he asked, getting a laugh out of Carol, who’d been filing her nails without much interest in the whole thing.

“What? Who gives a shit about her?” Tommy asked, doubling back with his hand on his chest.

“She’s a nice girl, dude, don’t be an asshole.” Steve replied sternly. That piqued Carol’s attention. She turned up from her chipped red nails to look Steve over with a discerning eye.

“Oh god, don’t tell me that you’re trying to bring in another Wheeler type chick into this.” She groaned, brushing away a strand of red hair from her cheek.

“Jesus Christ…” Steve rubbed the bridge of his nose “I don’t know what Nance did to you, but you need to calm down on that crap.”

“But you’re not dating her, right?” Tommy asked.

“Dude, all she did was help me with an assignment, that’s all.” Steve groaned. He felt like a dick, being so dismissive of you, he did like you, but he didn’t really even know you and neither did his friends. He didn’t like anyone assuming who he was or wasn’t with, and yet he still felt like a shithead. He didn’t know why but he did.

When you came home from school, your grandmother was waiting for you by the front door, red plaid kitchen rag draped on her shoulder, apron hanging low on her hips. “Your mother called when you were at school, wanted to see how you were.” She said, wiping her hands on the apron. She shook her head, obviously annoyed at the thought of her absent daughter.

“What’d you tell her?” you asked, kicking off your sneakers and putting them back onto the rack. You didn’t hide your distaste in your mother’s asking about you.

“That you were at school and to call back for you later. She told me to tell you that she’d be back in June and that she was bringing back someone special.” Your grandmother replied, turning back into the kitchen to return to whatever she was making. Your grandfather was passed out on the couch, his snores emanating from the living room almost comforting to you as you trekked up the stairs. You knew that your mother wouldn’t call again for you. She could never remember to call you at a time when you might be at home. She certainly wouldn’t be able to remember to call back.

Before you could even set your bag down, the phone on your desk blared from your desk. Samantha was at soccer practise, so you didn’t believe it was for you, but with your grandmother busy in the kitchen and your grandfather passed out, you grabbed the phone, asking “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Steve,” from his own room, Steve had thought about talking to you again for most of the day, but he’d only found the confidence what the day was over and he was home, where he didn’t have to look at you to speak to you. “I’m sorry if Tommy was weird to you today, he’s an idiot.”

You frowned, brow furrowing “It’s cool, no worries…” you replied. You didn’t feel like explaining how you already knew how much of an idiot he was.

“Yeah, so I was kind of wondering…if you’re not busy…would you mind maybe helping me with the readings? I don’t get this shit at all.” He chuckled awkwardly. In truth he’d had no plan to actually read the novel they’d been assigned, that’s what Cliff’s Notes was for, but he wanted to be around you more, so if homework was a reason to get to be around, then he’d actually read.

“Um…sure, I guess I could.” You didn’t really know what the right answer was for you. You weren’t sure that you trusted him, especially after what had happened that afternoon with Tommy, but your gut told you to say yes.

“Great! What’re you doing right now? Could you meet me somewhere, the reading for the tenth chapter is due tomorrow and I don’t even know what’s happening.” He felt a tad desperate, which was not a feeling he was used to around girls.

“I mean…where would you wanna meet?” anxiety was creeping up the back of your neck. You tried to wipe it away like sweat, but it was stuck to your brainstem.

“You could come over to my place or like I could meet you at the library or something.” Steve didn’t exactly have an answer to that one, he wasn’t even sure he’d get this far. He looked around his messy room, wondering if he’d made the right choice.

You didn’t exactly want to be in his house, but you didn’t have a car and it would take you forever to walk back into town to get to the public library. With a heavy heart, you accepted your unfortunate fate. “I could come over to your place.” You said, squeezing your eyes shut. You hoped that he wasn’t going to take that the wrong way.

“Yeah?” Steve hoped the panic wasn’t evident in his voice. His mother was still out of town and his father spent more time at his office in Carmel then he spent at home as it was. He’d let the mess pile up a bit and he didn’t want to look disgusting.

“Yeah, sure.” You tried to sound casual, but your blood had run cold and your hands had gone clammy. You gripped the receiver far too tightly, your eyes shifting around your room.

“Alright, cool, yeah cool…” Steve said, trying to sound casual “How long do you think it would take to get here?”

“I mean…you still drive the rust coloured BMW, right?” you asked, pulling your curtains back to peer out your window.

“Yeah?” Steve asked.

“I can see your house from my window, I’ll be there in like a minute.” You said.

Steve’s head turned upward, looking around worriedly. He bid his goodbyes quickly, turning his full attention to his messy bed and dirty floor, trying to get every pair of boxers laying on the floor into a basket. He hadn’t expected you to agree to come to his house, and his stomach churned at the idea of freaking you out. He didn’t want to scare you away because he was messy and gross.

You felt as if you’d swallowed your tongue. You rushed for the door, uttering a quick goodbye to your grandparents and pulling your backpack straps tight on your back. It was only five feet away. Five feet. Cross the street and up the driveway and you’re there. You took in a deep breath through your nose and took the first tripping step down your driveway, your body not co-operating with your mind and trying to escape where you were trying to bring it. You needed to calm down, your palms were starting to sweat and your knees had turned to Jell-O. You stopped in the middle of the empty street, huffing out another breath, trying to remind yourself that nothing could hurt you over there. That you could handle anything thrown at you.

Somehow, you made it to the front door without blacking out. You went to knock on the door, but it opened before you made contact. Steve looked frazzled, his hair flopping into his eyes, his expression panicked. “You’re here!” he said, his body blocking the doorframe.

“Am I not supposed to be?” you asked, your hand coming to clutch the top of your opposite arm.

“Nah, nah you are I just-never mind. I’m going crazy I think, come on in.” Steve stuttered, moving his arm out of the way, letting you inside. He didn’t know why he was nervous, he was never nervous to have a girl over. But you weren’t like the usual girls he would invite to hang out by his pool.

You stepped into his house cautiously, entering the dark space like it was a well-preserved colonial mansion. The Harrington household was cold. Everything was navy blue, steely grey, and white. He’d left the lights off in the entryway and the kitchen, although the lights above the grey brick fireplace were on, three white pot lights lighting the whole space. It made his house look ominous. Nobody was around either, you knew that Steve was an only child, but in your house your grandparents were always milling around; sound and voices were everywhere. Steve’s house was silent. The white vertical blinds were left open, and you could see the pool outside, which hadn’t been cleaned yet that day. The carpeting throughout the downstairs muffled your footsteps, adding to the eerie silence. Overall, the house looked expensive. They had all the latest technology and aesthetically the house was very stylish, it made you want to not touch anything in fear of breaking something. You shivered involuntarily, letting your eyes wander around the house, taking in the massive TV and the matching stereo. All his money didn’t make the space feel like home.

“My stuff’s just upstairs.” Steve pointed a thumb up the stairwell by the front door. You hadn’t realized that you’d wandered out of the foyer and into his house. You swallowed, nodding hard and bounding up the steps ahead of him. You noticed that there weren’t any photographs around the house. That felt a bit homier to you; your grandmother kept most of the photos in intricate albums, only keeping a singular family photograph on the mantle of the white tiled fireplace. That felt a bit right to you, that it really was a home and not a showcase home.

Steve’s bedroom was also blue and dark. His walls were dark blue plaid, with matching curtains. The colour was only broken up by a few posters and a floating bookshelf, which held a couple small trophies and a couple books held between black metal bookstands. His bedspread was a navy quilt, and his desk was dark wood and heavy looking. The signs of childhood were clear in the plaid wallpaper and curtains, clearly still remaining from a younger life. But beyond it, the room lacked a bit of personality. The only signs of life were the full laundry hamper and the papers on his desk. Everything else in the room could be in anyone’s room. It looked like a guest room or a hotel room. You dropped your bag on the grey carpeting, unsure where to put yourself in the space. Steve was much more casual, pulling out his desk chair and taking a seat, gesturing for you to sit across from him on the bed. You did so, sitting gingerly on the wrinkled bedspread. It was strange to sit on a boy’s bed, much less it be Steve Harrington’s bed.

“Alright, um…where to begin?” you asked, more to yourself than him. “I guess we should go over what happened in the chapter, yeah?”

“Yeah sure…” Steve replied, picking up his copy of the novel, flipping it open to the chapter. “Uh…so the main chick is in love with Heath and she loves him and they all live happily ever after?”

“That’s…not the plot of either this chapter or the novel.” You said slowly, not looking down to flip your own copy of the book to the marked chapter.

“I mean…that’s what I got from the Kate Bush song.” Steve muttered awkwardly.

“So, you haven’t read the book? Like nothing at all?” you asked. Steve shook his head. “Cliff’s Notes then?” you guessed, looking back to the shelf to see a few of the black and yellow striped covers of the versions of Little Women, Robinson Crusoe, and King Lear. You’d used the reference guides yourself, albeit not as a replacement for the novels themselves.

“You got me…” Steve muttered. He felt like an idiot. It had only taken a minute for him to get caught in his fib.

“Then what’d you need me for?” you replied, setting your book down on the bed next to you, looking him over carefully. Cliff’s Notes would cover everything he needed, they’d answer the questions for him.

“Look…I’m shit at this stuff. I don’t get it. I don’t get why we’re reading this, the book is so boring, even the notes are boring!” he groaned.

“The book is shit.” You replied, deadpan. “Mr. Lawrence is having us read it because it’s one of like three books the county mandates that we read and they gave us Robinson Crusoe last year.”

“What am I supposed to get from it then if he doesn’t even like it?” Steve chuckled, turning to address you fully.

“Well…it’s a tortured love story.” Steve raised an eyebrow at you. You pressed on “Catherine and Heathcliff are in love, but because Heathcliff’s of a lower station than her, they can never be together. And even though Catherine marries someone else she can’t bear life without him.”

“Aren’t they like siblings or something?” Steve’s lip curled upwards in a disgusted expression.

“Adopted siblings and if Emily Bronte doesn’t think it’s weird then we have to ignore it.” You explained with a shrug. You leaned back on your palms, kicking your feet casually. With the windows open, his room was warm and sunny. It faced the woods behind his side of the road, and they looked beautiful from up near the treetops. You’d heard the rumours of Jonathan Byers taking photos of little Nancy Wheeler on the same bed you sat on from the woods. It made you feel icky at the time and uncomfortable now. You didn’t like the idea that anyone could be watching you.

“Then what is Kate Bush singing about? She makes it sound like they get together.” Steve asked. He watched you with a careful eye, his nerves making it hard to even try to catch your eye. You seemed happy, calmer too, and your hair was catching the sunlight from his window, making a pretty crown of light around your head.

“I mean…Catherine dies trying to return to Heathcliff across the moors, Kate Bush is like being her ghost, trying to come back to her love from beyond the grave.” You said simply. Steve pulled out his notebook, the questions written out in wide, square letters. He quickly began scribbling down what you’d said. He pulled out his copy of the Cliff’s Notes and flipped to chapter ten, filling out the questions. You wondered if you should stay or go, but Steve’s profile was partially shaded by the angle he sat at, and the way his jaw jutted out made him look like the statue of David. You slowly pulled out your sketchbook and flipped to a new page. Graphite in hand, you slowly began drawing out his sharp, angular jaw and strong neck.

“So, when did you find the time to read the whole book?” he asked; only briefly looking up from his notes to look at you. Your hair was still pulled up in the bun you’d put it in that morning and your gaze was focused on whatever was behind that heavy looking spiral bound pad.

“It was on, like, the seventh grade summer reading list.” You replied, not looking up. You could feel his eyes on you and the copy of lips weren’t matching the real life counterpart. You pulled your lip between your teeth, using your thumb to blend out a thin line.

“You remembered all that from middle school?” Steve asked.

“Well…I mean the book is kind of weird. Like, it doesn’t make sense, the narrator keeps changing and the speaker isn’t always made known. It was really hard to read, but the story itself was pretty run of the mill. I don’t really get why we have to read it at all…” You explained quietly, switching to a piece of charcoal to add thin, textured lines to the lower lip.

“It’s really shit, eh?” Steve chuckled, turning his attention back to the thin book. “Who’s Isabella again?”

“It is crap. And Isabella’s Catherine’s sister-in-law. She has a crush on Heathcliff, you can write on that, that’s revealed in this chapter.” You explained. You didn’t blame Steve for not understanding the book, you absolutely hated the book when you read it the first time and it was by no means an easy read.

“She’s in love with him, but he’s in love with Catherine?” Steve was scribbling fast, writing down whatever you said.

“Yes and Catherine’s in love with Heathcliff but married Mr. Linton for status.” You replied. Steve and you worked in silence for awhile. Mr. Lawrence expected answers in full sentences and provide reasoning for everything you sourced. Meanwhile, you set a high standard for your art. While you didn’t expect perfection from yourself, you wanted to try to do good work, even just for yourself.

You’d never drawn Steve Harrington before. You’d done pictures of tons of your classmates, Steve just never seemed like someone who needed to be drawn. He had tons of people looking at him and praising him all the time, to his face and behind his back. He seemed like a little celebrity in Hawkins, but sitting on his head, with the sun hitting half of his face and making pretty shadows in the hollows of his face, you saw the small beauty in his features. You knew that he was attractive, that was a universal truth, but now sat on his bed alone in his room, you understood that he really was beautiful. Maybe not on the inside, you didn’t know if he was a truly good person, but on the outside he was golden. Your hands demanded to recreate his features. You felt as though you were carving one of Greek gods of Hawkins high, the best of the town’s beauty.

Steve finished his work soon after and looked to you with a lopsided grin. “I say, and you can totally disagree, that we work better together than apart.” He said triumphantly, jabbing the cap onto his pen.

You looked up with a smirk from your drawing. It was nearly done and you weren’t mad at the work either. It certainly looked like Steve and the shadows were intriguing. It would’ve made a better painting, but the little sketch was nothing to sneeze at. “I mean, you certainly do.” You replied easily. Steve chuckled, you weren’t wrong; he knew that you were much smarter than him.

“But sure, if you need the help then I’ll help. No big deal.” The words left your mouth before you’d thought them through. But they were true. Despite not knowing him, despite being freaked out by every phone call and conversation, you found yourself still coming back. Your mind was pulled in two very different directions, between adrenaline laced panic that made your hands go clammy and shake and genuine curiosity and intrigue.

Steve couldn’t hide the surprise on his face. He was certain that you’d already on the porch steps, running towards your house as fast as you could. Something in his gut told him not to expect anything. But you agreed. He broke into a lopsided grin, brushing a piece of long brown hair out of his eyes. “Cool, yeah, that’d be great! So, I’ll call you?” he asked tentatively, trying to still give you an out to his own request.

“You already know the number.” You smirked, a yellow sticky note catching your eye. You could see your name and number written in Steve’s wide handwriting stuck to the wall in front of his desk. It made you smile, the small detail of him even looking you up made you laugh. You’d been across the street from him your whole life, but him trying to find you made you strangely happy. You gathered up your things quickly, heading back across the street as another car came into his driveway, an immaculately made up woman in the front seat. She didn’t look you in the face as you passed, focusing on the opening garage door in front of her. You made a mad dash for your house. Everything felt…calm. Strangely calm. You didn’t know if you liked it.

181 notes · View notes

cheshiresense · 4 years

Note

Ok so Im going to take this chance and go wild: GiottoxMukuro + Bad Vongola AU

UM. So, I sort of just sat on this last one cuz what even lmao. I checked AO3 and omg this ship exists??? but there’s like just two fics under it. But alright, here’s my stab at this very random pairing, it doesn’t even quite get all the way to a pairing, but I gave them both page time and at least you gave me something new to try XD Sorry it’s so late.

ALSO YAY I FINISHED ALL TEN

1. Ok so! First thing’s first - how do I stick these two into the same time period? Either full AU or time travel/reincarnation fuckery. Let’s go with reincarnation. Sort of. Where Neo Primo is literally Neo Primo ;)

Tsuna is dead. They’re in the future arc, he’s being forced to take the boss trial, and Hibari suffocates him just a little too long. So Tsuna dies at the feet of his ancestors, and Giotto is forced to witness the death of a fourteen-year-old boy who had never asked for any of this bloodshed but had also never backed down from it, never folded, even under the pressure of so many Vongola bosses. And Giotto is angry. He has spent centuries watching his beloved Vongola become mired in blood and sin, built on an empire of corpses and suffering. He is so sick of it, of not being able to do anything about it, but his latest descendant is dead, and his body is empty of a soul, and in that moment, more than anything else, all Giotto wants is a chance to act, to be something other than helpless, to fix even just a little of what his bloodline has broken.

Will and Flames and desperation are powerful things when combined.

Next thing Giotto knows, he’s opening his eyes to a cold-looking training room, the remains of a cage that killed a fourteen-year-old boy splintering around him, and it barely takes a thought for his Flames to surge up and out and slam the Cloud - Hibari Kyouya - into the far wall with a viciousness Giotto had spent the majority of his first life keeping under wraps. For a split second, he almost kills the Cloud for his gall. A Guardian who could murder his own Sky - however well-intentioned or unknowingly - is no Guardian at all, but then, out of all of the Tenth Generation, as far as Giotto can tell, not a single one of them had had a real bond with Tsuna. The one who’d come closest had been the Mist, but after ten years and the weight of Vongola’s sins on his shoulders, even that connection had dissolved.

If Giotto is honest, the person Tsuna had become ten years later under the crushing pressure of that Sun Arcobaleno and the Vongola had been near unrecognizable compared to the boy Giotto had so admired. But that man is dead, at least for now, dragged under by too many enemies and too many bad decisions, and all that’s left is this younger version, dragged to the future against his will and forced to fight a war of someone else’s making.

Not even that anymore obviously, and all that’s left is Giotto, a bloody legacy to his name and too many regrets to pay for. All he can do is live out Tsuna’s life now and hopefully undo some of the damage Vongola has wrought. Tsuna wouldn’t want him killing this Cloud though, and so Giotto lets him go in the end. Hibari gets to his feet, something bloodthirsty and thrilled gleaming in his eyes, completely ignorant of the fact that he’d killed his Sky, and all Giotto can think as he recalls the way Tsuna had always had to bribe this man for him to even consider helping is how Alaude must be rolling in his grave.

“I’m done,” He says instead, slicing a cool look around the room, and then he walks out, back to his room. Nobody stops him, but Giotto wouldn’t have stopped him either, with the shadow of his Flames licking across the concrete floor.

2. Giotto does his duty. Ten years in the future is far too late to really change anything significant, so the faster he takes care of business here, the sooner they can all go home. In the meantime, it amuses him - in a funny world-burning sort of way - how none of Tsuna’s friends seems to realize anything is wrong, that the boy they profess their loyalty to is gone, and his body has been usurped by an interloper. Giotto considers himself a decent enough actor, but for a bunch of Flame-actives with Vongola rings on their fingers and Guardian titles to their names, they’re a rather oblivious lot.

(All of Tsuna’s past and present and future sits in his memories now though, and Giotto can’t say he’s terribly surprised. The person these children wanted to follow was never actually the boy Tsuna had been, not entirely. They pay attention to the parts of him that they like, and ignore the rest like they don’t exist. It infuriates Giotto, because Tsuna deserved better, but Tsuna is dead, and even if Giotto has every intention of at the very least demoting them from their Guardian positions once they’re finished here, he cannot truly harm these children Tsuna had called friends.)

So he does his duty, fights the battles people want him to fight, and smiles blandly back in the face of Reborn’s suspicious glances. That hitman at least can sense something is off, if only because his student no longer cringes or screams, but no one save the Vongola bosses knows the details of what happens in the Vongola Trial, and it’s easy enough to balance Reborn’s misgivings with that.

It’s fun though, messing with the pseudo-baby. The last time Reborn tried to shoot him awake in the morning, Giotto had set the entire room on fire and ended up singeing off Reborn’s sideburns. The resulting training session had been grueling, but it had been worth finally getting back at the man first responsible for more or less browbeating Tsuna into obedience.

Pettiness aside, Giotto does put effort into training. Tsuna’s body is in decent shape, but it could be even better, so Giotto does his best to make it so. The weapons of the future are something of a marvel too, and he smiles indulgently at the full-grown wing-adorned flame-pelted Leone di Cieli that gracefully leaps out to greet him, but in the privacy of his rooms, he lets his Flames swirl free and summons the phoenix that had been his constant companion in his first life, the soul of his Flames, his will made sentient.

“Natsu,” He names the lion, after Tsuna, and welcomes Persephone home as she does a sweep of his bedroom before landing light and delicate on his shoulder, the way she’d always done in battle.

The looks on everyone’s faces when they see her with him is enough to make Giotto smile for the next week.

3. It becomes clear soon enough that they’re going to need all hands on deck for the final confrontation against Millefiore, but even before that, Giotto begins asking some pointed questions that Tsuna had thought but hadn’t quite been brave enough to ask.

“When are we getting my Mist out of Vendicare?” He enquires one night over dinner, and smiles pleasantly as everyone freezes. “We require all the aid we can get, yes? And Mukuro has always been strong.”

“Jyuudaime!” Hayato is the first to burst out, chair skidding back with how emphatically he stands up. “We don’t need that bastard!” Giotto looks at him, not a twitch in his expression, impenetrable as ice even as he keeps his features soft, and Hayato falters. “Or- Or even if we do, he can just possess Dokuro! He can’t be trusted if we let him out!”

Giotto stirs more sugar into his coffee - rich and sweet, gave G a minor aneurysm every time he saw it - just the way he likes it. “So we make him serve, and offer nothing in return?”

Giotto waits out the confused spluttering around him. Reborn is drilling holes into the side of his head but he pays the baby no mind.

“He has been imprisoned for ten years,” Giotto continues in mild tones. “And has remained loyal all this time, si?” He glances briefly at Chrome, the younger one, who stares back, meek and mute. She is loyal to Mukuro above all others, and it would’ve been so very easy for him to influence her into betraying Vongola - betraying Tsuna - anytime.

That he hadn’t, in all this time, is… something. It’s something. The lingering threads of a frayed potential bond. The stubborn refusal to give up something he’d once perhaps considered his. A promise once given - keep my people safe and you will have my allegiance - and never broken, not by Mukuro.

People have often remarked on how similar the First and Tenth Generations are. Personally, Giotto has never seen two sets of people so different.

“I wish to free him,” He says at last, over the voices of those trying to convince him otherwise. “Loyalty deserves loyalty returned. Whatever else he used to be, he has bled in my service for ten years. Surely that is enough to justify his release?”

It is not a question, and everyone knows it. Reborn is all but glaring now. He doesn’t like this new Tsuna who does not cower even in the face of his bullets.

Giotto is spiteful enough to enjoy every moment of it.

It is Takeshi who relents first. “Okay,” He says, all easy agreement and assessing eyes, and maybe this one at least is not so far removed from Ugetsu’s blood after all. “But how are we gonna do that? Vendicare’s hard to break into, right?”

Hayato - the only mafia-raised of the lot - looks positively horrified. “It’s not hard, Baseball Freak, it’s impossible!”

“But Mukuro already broke out twice, didn’t he?”

“Yes,” Giotto interjects, smiling at Takeshi, who preens a little under the attention and is in some ways possibly the most insane of them all. Giotto does have a fondness for those who consider laws as guidelines at best. “So, I suppose we need a Mist.” He takes a gulp of his coffee. “The Varia has a new one these days, don’t they?”

Three conferences, five one-sided shouting matches, and a hefty sum of money transferred over to the Varia accounts later, Giotto has secured Xanxus’ partly baffled, mostly irritated agreement for Fran’s services. Fran turns out to be a rather… precocious young man, but he has Mist Flames and skills that almost rival Mukuro’s, and Giotto is relatively content to leave the breakout to him.

His confidence is not misplaced. Days and half a dozen more battles later, with Byakuran grandstanding across from him, Giotto’s entire ill-fitted, misfit Family is gathered, and the First Generation appears at Giotto’s silent command to unseal the Vongola rings.

(All of them know what he is, the soul peering out from behind Tsuna’s eyes. But in this one moment, not even Daemon gives him away, and Giotto is free to finally unleash his carefully controlled wrath on the Family that had decimated his.)

Millefiore doesn’t stand a chance.

4. “You are not Sawada Tsunayoshi,” Mukuro - the older one - says in deceptively light tones as he joins Giotto on the balcony. It’s late, the night before they would all finally return to the past, and the two of them are probably the only ones still awake.

“No,” Giotto confirms, because there’s no hiding it from this man. “I’m afraid Sawada Tsunayoshi perished in Kyouya’s Box Weapon when he and Reborn attempted to force a Vongola Trial.”

Mukuro, staring out at the sprawling woods before them, does not visibly react, does not even move. For a moment, it doesn’t even seem like he’s breathing, and that’s what gives him away.

Giotto does not say he is sorry. He is, for this, and for too many other things to list, but whatever connection had formed between Tsuna and his Mist had been lost a long time ago, and sorry only sounds trite in the face of such a travesty. The only reason Mukuro had never drifted away, Giotto suspects, was because the Mist had refused to let go. Mukuro himself would never admit it, perhaps never even acknowledge it to himself, but if there was one thing Giotto had always envied Tsuna for, it was his ability to earn a Mist’s devotion so completely.

(And so it had hurt all the more to watch the years go by as Tsuna allowed Vongola to convince him to leave Mukuro in Vendicare. Hurt most of all to realize, one day, that Tsuna no longer cared so long as Mukuro continued reporting in and doing as he was told.)

“What will you do with my younger self?” Mukuro eventually asks, carefully void of every emotion save for the thinnest veneer of detached interest.

“Free him,” Giotto replies promptly, seeing no need for word games here. Reborn had tried to interrogate him about his Vongola Trial, and Giotto had given him every answer but a straight one. It had been highly entertaining. “If he wishes, he will have a place in my Famiglia. If he does not, then I will ensure he is able to start a new life elsewhere with his people, without Vongola dogging their every step.” He pauses, absently considering his hands, more solid than they’ve been in four hundred years. “Even Tsunayoshi’s fear of Reborn was not enough to stop him from asking repeatedly after you. This is the least I can do for your younger self when Tsunayoshi worried about him so often.”

Mukuro scoffs, a hollow puff of air that fades to nothing. “Had he a few more years in him, you would’ve had nothing to concern yourself with.”

Giotto inclines his head in acknowledgement but says nothing more. There is probably no one who knew Tsuna - who fought him and lost to him and understood him - more than Mukuro. The Mist doesn’t need Giotto expounding on the rise and fall of one of the brightest and most short-lived Skies the world would ever see.

“You will not tell the others about me?” Giotto asks instead, more curious than any kind of anxious about it.

Mukuro tips a mocking facsimile of a smile in his direction, looking him straight-on for the first time since his arrival. “What business is it of mine, if Vongola wishes to destroy itself?”

Giotto half-smiles, half-grimaces. He supposes this is hardly a surprise either; it was never Vongola that Mukuro swore unspoken fealty to.

So instead, he reaches out, gently catching one of Mukuro’s hands in his own and knowing he can only because Mukuro allows it. Mismatched eyes watch him like a hawk, a derisive curl on his lips that freezes when Giotto presses the flickering heat of a piece of Sky Flame into his palm.

Then he steps back, once, twice, enough room to sketch an esoteric bow, too formal for this age but recognizable enough here and now if Mukuro’s sharp intake of breath is anything to go by.

Gratitude. Apology. And a dissolution of debt and duty between Guardian and Sky.

If Mukuro so wishes, even after Giotto is gone, the shard of Sky will ensure a clean break from Vongola, and not even Sawada Tsunayoshi will be able to track his former Guardian down. It is all Giotto can offer him.

He straightens, glancing at the piece of Sky now settled into the shimmering form of a phoenix feather. A new life, if Mukuro wants it.

He meets the Mist’s gaze. Mukuro is the first to look away, fingers curling around the feather, eyes on the horizon, and he doesn’t speak again.

Giotto nods, takes his leave, and he does not see the Mist again, not this version at least. Once time straightens itself out, the adult Tsuna of this universe will return, and while Millefiore is no longer a threat, Vongola - and its Decimo - will still be the same stagnant bloodstained mess.

There is nothing Giotto can do about that, but at the back of his mind, he wonders if it wouldn’t have been better after all to have let Millefiore wipe Vongola out.

5. Later, much later, after a jailbreak and Daemon and a broken curse, Giotto and his Guardians - still no bonds, but he can’t seem to find a good time to get rid of them, so maybe instead of that, he can educate them to be better - sit down for a Family dinner at the most upscale banquet hall Namimori has to offer, with the Ninth and his men, the CEDEF and even Varia. They’re in public so everyone has their law-abiding citizen face on, but (a redo of) the Inheritance Ceremony is imminent, and Timoteo smiles, sly and pleased that all the pieces have finally fallen into place. He waves Giotto into the seat on his immediate right and doesn’t even question how very little Giotto resembles Tsuna these days, ascribing the changes to Reborn’s training and recent battles and growing up, and looking no further than that.

The food is good, Italian but cooked by the best chefs on Vongola payroll. Giotto stares Kyouya into grudging silence over the fare, and then he focuses on chatting amicably with Timoteo, weaving smooth flattery into casual but attentive conversation the way he’d learned to do a lifetime ago.

Giotto watched Timoteo grow up. There is no skeleton in his closet that Giotto did not witness him stashing away. But he is old and past his prime and he will soon learn that his successor is not as easy to control as he’d hoped, as he thinks, so Giotto can smile back now and give him his momentary triumph, smile and sip his wine and not let his eyes linger on every bite of food Timoteo takes.

During a lull in the conversation, he turns and catches Mukuro’s eye. His Mist is seated beside his female counterpart, all the way at the end of the line, farthest from his Sky to any outsider’s eye. But Mukuro smirks back from behind his cloth napkin, and as the Nono’s dessert is carried in, the faint twist of Mist Flames - unnoticed by all except two - darts into the panna cotta.

Timoteo eats his fill, compliments the chef, beams at Giotto’s gently filial fussing again like the kindly grandfather he excels at pretending to be, and nobody thinks to question how masterfully Giotto draws all attention to himself and his rowdier Guardians, never letting the generally jovial mood falter, his Sky Flames a subtle pulsing encouragement beneath it all to distract them from the knife at their backs.

The whole affair is a success. At the very least, nobody threw any food, no fights broke out, and no one lost their tempers. It almost feels like a miracle.

They part ways in groups, and to their credit, Hayato and Kyouya only try to kill each other after the elder Vongola party is gone. It doesn’t take long for Ryouhei to join in, and at a glance from Mukuro, Chrome scoops Lambo up and picks up her pace to catch up to a laughing Takeshi.

Mukuro falls into step beside Giotto. Giotto had asked, after the Arcobaleno business was finally over, if Mukuro would stay. Mukuro had asked what Giotto would offer if he did.

“A place in my Family, for you and yours,” Giotto had sworn. “And a hand in toppling the Vongola Empire once and for all.”

Mukuro had smiled, ten years’ worth of another world’s memories behind it, and six lives’ worth of suffering driving his answer.

“Tsunayoshi would never have chosen this method,” Mukuro says now, voice pitched low but as idly as if he were commenting on the weather.

Giotto smiles, grim and long past the point of any return.

Tsuna was his favourite. He reminded Giotto of the man he used to be, when Vongola was still a goal wrapped in optimism and determination, before they’d become embroiled in the mafia and Giotto had spent the next four hundred years after his death watching his life’s work build itself a throne of corpses.

Tsuna was his favourite, but he was also an ideal Giotto won’t ever be again, and cannot be if he truly wants to see this iteration of Vongola dead in his second lifetime. Tsuna would’ve been eaten alive by Vongola - Giotto had seen an entire future’s worth of proof of that.

“I am not Tsunayoshi,” Giotto says, and it is another regret he will have to carry, but their world is neither kind nor fair, and Tsuna as he was would never have survived it.

Mukuro studies him, a thoughtful tilt to his head, and something like fascination glitters in his eyes. “No, you are not,” He agrees. “But that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”

Giotto glances at him, then ahead, at children who had almost killed and been almost killed mere days ago, now roughhousing amongst themselves. “The world could do with more Tsunayoshis.”

“The world needs more of you,” Mukuro retorts just as swiftly, a sardonic sort of amusement in his smirk. “In that other future, Tsunayoshi proved beyond a doubt that everything he promised, he couldn’t keep, didn’t he? And yet here you are, Vongola Primo, poisoning your enemies over dinner, and just yesterday you had me hide you while you met with Gesso and Simon and Giglio Nero in private. You certainly don’t waste any time.” His smirk widens. “If Vongola isn’t careful, you’ll turn half of Europe against the older generation before they realize it.”

Giotto hums and doesn’t deny any of it. “You would be willing to aid me though?”

Mukuro arches an eyebrow, and his right eye flickers briefly with Mist Flames. “Have I not been doing so already?”

Giotto nods. “Yes, and I am grateful. But lending a hand now is not the same as devoting at least the next ten years of your life to a goal most would consider impossible. And I am not Tsunayoshi.”

Mukuro’s steps slow, then stop entirely. Giotto blinks and halts as well, half-turning.

“Does that matter so much to you?” Mukuro asks, peering at him with surprisingly genuine puzzlement. “Do you think it matters so much to me? That you are not Tsunayoshi?”

Giotto half-shrugs, and Mukuro shakes his head. “Tsunayoshi had a heart that I will never fully understand,” He says, blunt in a way he almost never is. “He was naive and foolish, hopeful and soft, and it made him as weak as it made him strong. I could trust him to never turn on Chrome or Ken or Chikusa, even if they or I tested his tolerance, but by that same logic, I could never have trusted him to stand firm against Vongola’s ideals, no matter what he proclaimed. And I was right, wasn’t I? In the end, Vongola destroyed him, and he became one of them.”

He pauses, his gaze sliding away, hands coming together to twist one of the rings on his fingers. Then he looks back at Giotto, and his next smirk is equal parts challenge and approval. “You though. You have witnessed the results of letting your previous Mist Guardian walk free, and spent years watching your descendants commit atrocities in the name of strengthening your organization. If I were to promise you my loyalty, and then betray you sometime down the road, you would slit my throat yourself. But at the same time, at least I know - you are both ruthless enough and determined enough to see your objectives through to the end, with a conviction that’s centuries in the making. The current Vongola would have to kill you to stop you.” His right eye flares indigo again. “So I suppose that is where I come in.”

Up ahead, the others turn a corner, still bickering. Giotto thinks Takeshi has probably noticed that he and Mukuro have fallen behind, and of course Chrome knows, but neither of them stops to wait either.

Mukuro steps back, once, twice, and Giotto’s eyes widen as the Mist lifts a hand to brush over the earring he hasn’t stopped wearing since he got it. And then… well.

The Mukuro from the future must’ve known how because this Mukuro doesn’t even look awkward as he drops to one knee and bows his head, just a dip, slow enough to look deliberate, proud enough to meet Giotto’s gaze again afterwards.

“You asked for ten years, Neo Primo,” Mukuro announces. “So, very well, I will pledge you ten years of my life, for you to use as you see fit, so long as you keep your word. We can revisit this in a decade, but for the next ten years, I will make you untouchable to your enemies and sow discord amongst them in your name.” He smiles and it’s a mad and bloodthirsty thing, the same furious hateful beast he’d aimed at Daemon Spade when he’d sought to rip Chrome from Mukuro’s side. “And should the worst come to pass and I go the way of my predecessor, may my life be forfeit at your hands.”

He reaches up, catches Giotto’s hand in his own, and his red eye glows as orange and indigo burst into existence between their fingers, a blaze of light under the night sky as they twine together, fierce and unyielding and true.

They both gasp from the surge of power that rushes through them as the Guardian bond snaps into place, the first one Giotto will ever have in this body, the first one in over four hundred years, a core of Flame that promises a home, something Daemon had never been able to give him, and Giotto doesn’t even think before he’s yanking Mukuro to his feet and reeling him close.

Tsuna had been short for his age so Giotto isn’t quite eye-level with his new Mist, but it hardly matters when he curls a near-bruising grip along Mukuro’s jaw and sees the same hunger and possessiveness he feels reflected in the illusionist’s eyes.

“A Guardian bond is not something I take lightly,” Giotto murmurs, and he knows even without a mirror that his own Flames are burning in his eyes. “You are mine now, and I do not share. In ten years, you will pledge another ten, and another ten after that, and any who dare to try and take you from me, I would run rivers red with their lifeblood.”

(These oaths are old, old and binding and near-forgotten, bastardized ten ways to Sunday but still echoing of power, and even in Giotto’s time, only G and Ugetsu had sworn them. That his new reign would begin with one, when as far as Giotto knows, none have spoken them in centuries - perhaps it speaks of the dawn of a new age.)

Mukuro inhales shakily, not at all prepared for the sheer depth and intensity of a true Flame bond. But the grip he has on Giotto’s wrist is just as tight as Giotto’s, and it only takes him another breath to regain his bearings.

“As you Will it, Giotto,” Mukuro murmurs, and it crackles over Giotto’s skin. No one has spoken his name since his resurrection.

The bond settles between them, calm now but no less potent. Giotto lets go, tickling a tongue of Sun-tinted Sky Flame along Mukuro’s skin to soothe the sting left behind. Mukuro only huffs a breath of laughter, gaze still unwavering on Giotto’s face.

“Well then,” The Mist - Giotto’s Mist - smiles, quieter, more serene, like a glass-spun secret cloaked in shadow, but exultantly bright all the same. “Long live the new King. May your reign be long and prosperous.”

#khr #headcanon meme: answered #giotto #rokudo mukuro #G69 #vongola famiglia #headcanon #there we go g69 wow i didn't think i could do it #lmfao they're both prob way ooc #but that's how it came out

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atopearth · 3 years

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Collar X Malice Part 3 - Sasazuka Takeru Route

Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm excited or anxious about starting Sasazuka's route because he's my least favourite in terms of looks and personality. I think the baka neko/idiot cat thing is pretty affectionate so I'm okay with it, but we'll see. Personally, he's investigating one of the cases I'm most interested in (serial killing of online gamers), and I also noticed that if I played this game blind, I would have ended up on Sasazuka's route haha, so I'm curious how this will go, especially considering how most people love Sasazuka. Personally, I feel like Sasazuka is a very blunt guy grounded in reality and wants Ichika to face that to better prepare her for the future, so I don't dislike him haha. Lmao at Sakuragawa's first words to Sasazuka, and she even said it in English!!🤣 She's so cool, I love her. I have such a soft spot for Minegishi though, I love his looks, how kind he is, but also how strict and logical he can be.

Omggg, Sasazuka doesn't like Japanese sweets?! I can understand matcha since he's obviously a sweet tooth fanatic but c'mon, red bean paste and stuff is so good! He's definitely missing out. Ooh, so the reason why Sasazuka is on the August case is because he wants to change the law that came about from it, which was the repeal of the Swords and Firearms Control Law. Honestly, considering the crazy impact, changes and possibilities that came about from this repeal, I guess I'm not too surprised that there's someone working to change that back, but I guess I'm curious about why Sasazuka supposedly only cares about that and not really the case in itself? Btw, lmao at Sasazuka's outright rejection towards her wanting to do this case too. To be fair, if I was Sasazuka, I probably wouldn't want to work with her either lol. Personally, restating the weapon ban is probably what I would want to focus on if I was a part of this whole thing, so it's kinda interesting to see how relatable this already is for me hahaha. Honestly, even though Sasazuka isn't the nicest guy, he's not exactly wrong to say Ichika is thoughtless lol. When she told Yanagi she was going to go talk to Sasazuka again, I honestly thought she was going to try and convince him to let her go on this case with him, but instead all she did was ask to be on it again and then was ready to leave when he refused to answer. In the end, Sasazuka was the one who had to ask her why she was so insistent about it, when really, if she really wanted to convince him, shouldn't she have thought about how she could convince him or tell him properly her reasons for wanting to be in on this case especially? Anyway, I found it funny how Ichika rejected Sasazuka's suggestion for being his pawn in the case, but is willing to cook and provide food for him lol, honestly I'd just roll with the pawn thing if it was me, just so there's at least an opportunity to show him my skills and resolve lol. But I guess it's important to start off this partnership properly or she'll always be under him haha.

Awww, I love how Mukai, Sakuragawa and Ichika are such fast lunch buddies loll. Guess homemade food gets to everyone's hearts haha. It was so cute when Mukai was looking at Ichika's Bento wanting to eat it hahaha. Anyway, is it just me or does Sasazuka's route have more typos, mistakes and everything??? Like they're not terrible but it does annoy me lol. I love how hard Ichika tried to pass Sasazuka's test and understand the X-Day incidents better. Considering that she's not part of investigations, she definitely tried really hard! Lmao at Sasazuka rewarding her with a donut, but considering how much he loves them, him giving her a donut is pretty good praise. Hahahaha, is he going to feed her with sweets every time he's proud of her and wants to reward her?😂 That's so cute lmao. Honestly, I feel like with Sasazuka doing stuff like randomly forcing her to choose a restaurant to eat and always doing stuff but not explaining things properly, it makes life pretty stressful for Ichika lol. But it's good in a sense that she can help Sasazuka explore more different foods and stuff he wouldn't usually choose I guess haha. Anyway, I'm glad she stood her ground and told him to explain before they entered Kazuki's room though, Sasazuka was being really forceful. On the other hand, Akito being a suspect for that school explosion case is interesting🤔 How long has Akito been associated with Adonis? Okay, Sasazuka letting her cry on his shoulder, him patting her and calming her down and letting her reorganise her thoughts on what she's going to do if Kazuki is involved with the X-Day cases really made me happy. Sasazuka is a really practical guy, but he was really kind about it all, and he even helped her find a new resolve to help her brother without being torn over the whole thing considering it was a lot for her to process (from learning that Kazuki is in a band to knowing all these people etc). Omg..so Akito's sister committed suicide because of bullying..so the class that got bombed was her class huh.. No wonder why Akito seems to care about Kazuki and Ichika's relationship so much. I always thought it was because he really cherished Kazuki as a friend (he still does of course) but it was also because he didn't want Kazuki and Ichika to regret how they handled their relationship and how they didn't communicate properly. I guess it's something Sasazuka could probably understand to an extent since he was discriminated in America and it ended up with him dropping out of school. It all worked out with his hacking skills but just because he's found another way in life doesn't mean it didn't hurt back in the day I guess.

HAHAHA, I died when Enomoto encouraged Ichika to visit Sasazuka's house (since he's not replying texts and calls once he holes himself up) and said she doesn't need to fear a mere seaweed😂😂 Hahahah, considering how much Enomoto and Sasazuka both "hate" yet care for each other, I find it hilarious how in both of their routes, they both kinda "attack" Ichika in their sleep lolll. I find it cute how she just ended up falling asleep too, and even though Sasazuka panicked when he woke up, he felt warm enough and happy about it that he just went back to sleep lmao. Hahahaha, it was so funny how he said people's heads are heavy even if they're empty😂 (because she fell asleep on his arm) Honestly though, someone sleeping on your arm is probably one of the most uncomfortable things ever, props to Sasazuka for actually staying in that position the whole time so she could sleep peacefully. Lmaooo when Enomoto said Sasazuka went from cyber Seaweed to a normal seaweed because Minegishi was constantly reinstating the security on the information they want, so even though Sasazuka could get through, it wasn't efficient in terms of time.

Hahahaha, I knew Sasazuka was going to introduce himself as Ichika's boyfriend to Kazuki so him having dinner with Kazuki and Akito wouldn't be surprising, but it was still hilarious to see their reactions😂 It's also pretty funny how similar Kazuki and Sasazuka are with how frank they are, and they're not afraid to hide their thoughts towards others lol. It was so funny when Sasazuka told Kazuki to call him big brother if he wanted to😂 I like Akito, he's really caring towards Kazuki, it just feels like he's strained by what happened to his sister... I didn't realise that Akito was good at composing music though, that's really cool. Anyway, I'm glad Kazuki and Ichika got to talk it out, and Ichika finally got to tell him properly that she does care about him and want him to follow his dreams. HAHAHA, it was so funny how Ichika said she wanted to see Sasazuka and he immediately called her thinking it was something more romantic but she just wanted to ask him about games to help out on the investigation with Souda😂😂 This is probably one of the only times I would feel sorry for Sasazuka lmao. I find it interesting that Ichika knows nothing about games, like it's normal to not play them I guess, but to know literally nothing about them when she's been looking at the X-Day cases etc is kinda surprising. I also find it surprising that Ichika finds it difficult to understand the mentality of gamers and the escape from reality aspect, since her work revolves around being quite empathetic and listening to people lol. Ooh noo, so what the people who revere Souda as a "god" is really them making fun of him for being a whale that spends crazy amounts of money on the game and is basically pay to win? That sounds bad... I honestly thought they called him that because he was really good at the game... I guess it's good that I take time to read the materials when they pop up lol.

I feel so terrible for Kazuki. I can't imagine how crappy it must feel to be so close to Akito but actually not know so many things about him. I'm glad that Sasazuka was there to be frank with Kazuki that this was serious and that he needed to be calm if he really wanted to help Akito. I think Ichika would have been too emotional and soft to do that to Kazuki. It's nice to see how reliable Sasazuka is and how much he's willing to go out of his way to help her. The kiss was sudden but I thought it was really sweet since it helped reassure her that even if she is at a lost and doesn't know what to do and how to handle things, she can always lean back on Sasazuka to help her and guide her. He also doesn't like to baby her unless she's really down so that's really helpful for her in the long run haha. Honestly, Sasazuka's plan in doing the same thing as what happened in the August incident (causing a bug that made people think some legitimate players like Souda were purposely trolls to others) is quite...terrible. I understand that it's necessary in the sense that they're running out of time and need Souda's interrogation to make some progress but at the same time, considering how mentally broken he already is and how reliant he is on this game, creating a similar incident will definitely shatter his world and I'm not sure if he can take that. I guess it just hits a bit close to home because it makes me think if I lost the only place I could find some kind of solace in, I might die. Has it been established that Souda is a murderer though? But yeah anyway, it's sad but I guess there's not much of a choice. Souda getting betrayed by the game and his guild members hurt me pretty hard tbh. I can imagine how crap it must feel, because I also know how it feels when people rely on you during an important team fight and you don't deliver. Except Souda's is worse since he was forcefully bugged and then basically framed for being a troll purposely not doing anything. The hatred for trolls run pretty deep, and trolls are considered one of the worst scums in gaming, so I can understand how bad it would feel to be called one when you aren't. It's actually kinda saddening that no one defended Souda though, kinda goes to show what kinda guild it was and how it was really built on a shaky foundation, but it's a mobile game so I can understand people just leaving the guild like that. I personally think when it comes to mobile games, people can be more heartless😅 Let's just say, when Sasazuka provoked Souda, his words cut me too lolll, I guess as Sasazuka said before, things become much too difficult when you empathise and resonate with the criminal. It's probably the most uncomfortable I've felt in a while just because Souda's situation brings back bad memories for myself. That feeling of being useless in real life, and then bring useless in your favourite game as well...is just so painful.

When Minegishi tried to give Sasazuka a gun and he rejected it, I knew Sasazuka couldn't use a gun, but the effect of a gunshot being so close to him seems to be worse than I thought. It's understandable though, since his mother died protecting him. It's pretty saddening to hear that his mother and him were "unlucky" to have been caught up in a turf war while shopping on holiday. Is that all we can really say when someone dies like that? That they were unlucky? It's just so terrible to think about how sometimes whether we live or not depends on something like luck... Totally agree with Sasazuka, I hate societies that permit guns especially with how they handled it in Shinjuku. You really can't blame all the people who are scared and call to complain every day to Ichika's team, because the moment the government decided to issue a gun to each person over 18, it already implied that your safety was your own problem. How ironic that Sasazuka came back to Japan because he hated guns, but in the end the law changed here. I can see why he would quit the police after that, it's like he lost his reason for being there after all. I'm glad Ichika reprimanded Sasazuka for taunting Souda way too much, it was definitely really reckless and dangerous of him to do that. Ah, I see, so Souda's "revenge" was against those players who died in the August case, so even though he didn't kill them, he was the one who wanted them to be killed and ended up killing the other developer guy later on as a "substitute". I guess I can feel less sorry for him then lol, but still.

Honestly, I didn't like how Sasazuka kept urging Ichika to drink just because he was too embarrassed or shy to share his feelings about how he understands Adonis to the point that they're kinda on the same wavelength in how they would both handle things. I guess it was cute how drunk Ichika pleaded to him telling him to not to go Adonis' side, but yeah even though Ichika and Sasazuka are cute sometimes, I find their relationship rather dubious. It's interesting that Sasazuka wanted to voice directly to the police chief the proposition to reinstate the firearm law considering it's not something easy to just do, and that there are more people than the police chief that need to be in on this, but I guess considering he's in the police, he's the highest that he can get haha. Although personally, I have to wonder why they would want to keep that law even after they solve the Adonis cases tbh. But I guess the cases haven't been solved yet so... No wonder why Akito felt awkward when Kazuki kept praising his skills in music composition...it's because he was so focused on this hobby of his that even when his sister tried to talk to him, he was too busy to really listen to her. It must have been a terrible shock to realise that what she wanted to talk about was much more important than he thought. Honestly, if I was Akito and I saw my sister's suicide note with names of the people she was bullied by, I would probably want revenge against them too. I can't imagine the agony she must have gone through by probably most of the people in her class. I agree with Ichika, seeing Kazuki constantly looking at his phone hoping Akito replies to him is really painful to watch. I think it's worse that you can obviously see how much pain Akito is in as well over it. I wonder what Akito wanted to really say though considering his cryptic words.

I know it got lost in translation but LMAO when Ichika was hoping Sasazuka was in the office and screamed his name really loudly when she went in, and Enomoto got woken up thinking "this was his Honno-ji" which basically implies he thought there was a fire and he was going to die like Nobunaga from the enemy attack lolll. It's just funny how Enomoto can relate everything to the Sengoku era🤣 I thought it was really sweet how when Sasazuka got the information Akito left for him to retrieve through the songs he gave Isshiki and Kazuki, his first priority was in finding the method to take off Ichika's collar. It was expected that the top people of Adonis wouldn't be captured, but I found it super saddening to hear that Akito had his memories erased and could barely remember Kazuki...at least he's not dead though I guess. Anyway, I found it rather interesting that the last chapter was mostly dedicated to the romance, which I didn't mind since I feel like they really needed to develop on that. Honestly though, it was cute but I still find their relationship and connection rather weak. I guess my biggest problem with their relationship is that Ichika is usually easy for Sasazuka to understand albeit there are moments where she takes him off guard, but otherwise she's easy for him to read, but that's not the same for her. Ichika is always wondering what Sasazuka is thinking and she would ask him sometimes, but his personality prevents him from being honest about it a lot of the time so they misunderstand things and get a bit lost. I think the funniest misunderstanding was Sasazuka thinking they were exclusive already but she didn't so she confessed to him lol. Definitely his fault since he wasn't clear lol, but he was probably teasing her anyway.

Sakuragawa and them teasing Ichika about Sasazuka was funny too. It's nice that in the end, she was able to be more forefront with her thoughts and feelings, even if they're silly lmao, I didn't think the office they're in now and the Metropolitan office Sasazuka will move to later is just 15 minutes away. Relax, Ichika, you can have lunch halfway or something, and Sasazuka's right that it's not like they were in the same department anyway so it's not much of a difference lol. But yeah, I do enjoy Ichika being able to get Sasazuka to express himself more and be more honest with his feelings. Oh, and I teared a bit at the scene where Kazuki visited Akito in prison. I found it really saddening that Akito tried to push him away and say maybe this was for the best anyway since he's a criminal and his music career will be affected if he plays a murderer's songs, so yeah, can totally understand why Kazuki got super mad and told him he will succeed playing Akito's songs, and that even if he doesn't remember, they can just become friends again. Honestly, if theirs was a love story, I think I would have liked it more than Sasazuka and Ichika's lmao. But anyway, it just goes to show that I don't think I could really get into the romance this time around. I find it so adorableeee how Okazaki and Kazuki became friends enough that Kazuki is invited to the office party loll, so cute. Anyway, my biggest surprise with this route was that Sasazuka wasn't as mean as I thought he would be. He pretty much mellowed out after he gave her donuts and every "insult" or mean stuff he said was much more affectionate than anything else. I'm just kinda sad that I thought Sasazuka was going to more guide Ichika into growth as a police officer and he kinda did with the Souda stuff, but then afterwards, she kinda just went back to being his gofer lol. Anyway, I feel bad for the Sasazuka in the bad ending when you fail trigger mode, since someone important to him decided to protect him from a gunshot once again and died, that's pretty terrible for him to have to go through again. I kinda would have liked to see a longer ending where he does something like go down the path with Adonis or kill Souda or something though haha. Even the tragic love ending was rather...meh lol.

Overall, considering how much hype Sasazuka gets, I'm actually surprised I'm pretty whatever about him. He's cute and stuff but not my type I guess. I also found him much nicer than people say hahaha! I don't know if I'm too used to rude people or I mainly hear the affection from his teasing rather than whatever else he says lol, I think my biggest problem with him instead of how he talked was actually how at times he wanted Ichika to "grow" as a person and helped guide her, but at the same time I feel like he also stunted her growth a bit such as stuff like when he told her to drink beer instead of that other thing she chose. I know it's relatively minor considering how she does make other choices, but I feel like the second half of the route was more of Ichika being relegated to that "support role" that gave Sasazuka the reason to stay as he was without giving in to his desire to kill his mother's murderer rather than as a..person? It just didn't really feel like Ichika was important as a person, and rather was just something to drive Sasazuka into doing what he did, which is good but yeah, it felt kinda hollow. Personally, similar to how I related to and liked Sanjou more than Okazaki in his route, for Sasazuka's route, I really liked Akito's story and situation. It was nice to finally understand why he was a part of Adonis and how much it hurt him to have not saved his sister, but also how much it hurt him to have actually joined Adonis itself. His regrets and his sadness over his relationship with Kazuki really hit me. Souda was pretty whatever as one of the Adonis guys, like he was relatable to me, but personally boring as a villain in the bigger picture, mainly because I think rather than making it understandable why he joined Adonis and did what he did (like Sugawara and Ogata), I feel like the route painted him as more of a crazy guy (like Hana I guess). Anyway, even though I wasn't especially fond of Sasazuka and Ichika's relationship, in terms of plot, I probably preferred this one more than Okazaki's and Enomoto's because of Akito, and also Sasazuka's motivations for reinstating the firearm control law. I also really liked how reliable Sasazuka was, and how caring he was towards Ichika when she needed it. To be fair, I do like Sasazuka as a character, just preferably not with Ichika I guess hahaha.

#collar x malice

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rocket-fort · 3 years

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JC love month 2020

Day 26-Domesticity

Slowly opening his eyes, the sunlight sneaking between the curtains, rolled a bit on the bed getting tangled up in the sheets and then he stretched. Jiang Cheng took a deep breath and then he finally got up, lazily making his way to the kitchen from where a delicious sweet smell came from, he put his hands around his boyfriend waist and stick to his body, still feeling sleepy

—Good Morning— Wanyin greeted after a yawn escaped from his mouth

—Mn Morning— Wangji saluted back continuing his job of making pancakes

It wasn’t until Lan Zhan finished the pancakes that Wanyin finally started to move but refusing to release him from his embrace. Once he settled the table, Wangji mildly removed his boyfriend’s hands and guided him to sit in his chair before going to his.

They eat in silence, the Lan out of an old habit and the Jiang still trying to not fall asleep. After the breakfast ended, Wanyin felt more energized, his intense coffee made his job, he definitely wasn’t a morning person but today he was way tired than usual. Yesterday he made his brother a favor and took care of A-Yuan while Wuxian made a quick trip for the day due to his job. It wouldn’t have been a problem since the kid, unlike his father, knew how to behave, the problem was when his brother-in-law asked him to take care of the living tornado he had as a son, Lan Jingyi, since he was coming home late from the hospital and the babysitter wasn’t able to go. He loved them so much, he really did, but sometimes it was so hard to accomplish the task of making the little Lan boy to stay calm, and even if the other looked calmer, he still got some things from his father and with such an energetic and chaotic kid as Lan Jingyi, well, lets say it wasn´t the best combination.

He was currently working from his place since his office was being remodeled, his boyfriend was working at the hospital with his brother, so he wasn’t home to help him with the kids, but it was fine, Jiang Cheng was an expert at doing various things at once, so he worked while taking care of the seven and six year olds, even tho he succeeded, he ended up dead, he had to stay up until like 2 a.m. finishing his presentation for the next week meeting, both parents and his boyfriend arrived really late too.

Lan Zhan knew how tired and stressed Wanyin was so he wanted to make sure that his significant other had a nice and relaxing day off. He prepared a delicious breakfast and a warm bubble bath, and for the afternoon he prepared some murder and mystery movies he knew Cheng liked or wanted to see.

They were near the climax of the movie when Jiang Cheng’s phone started to ring, it was his Shijie

—A-Jie, how are you?—

—Hello A-Cheng, sorry to bother you but I wanted to ask you a favor—

—No worries Jie. What can I help you with?—

—Well today’s my anniversary with A-Xuan but the person that was supposed to take care of A-Ling is sick and wouldn’t be able to come— Yanli’s voice sounded a bit embarrassed, she knew her brother would gladly do it, after all, he really loved and adored his nephew, but she still felt bad for bothering him and his brother-in-law in their free day —a-niang and a-die are outside the country and Zixuan told me his parents were really busy— ‘and honestly I don’t want to leave my little peony with them’ she wanted to add, ‘Yeah... of course, busy’ Jiang Cheng was about to discuss —So I wanted to ask if you could take care of him?—

—No problem A-Jie. When are you going to be here?—

—Like in half an hour if you don’t mind—

—At all, see you then A-Jie—

—See you ChengCheng, and thanks again— she said before hanging up

—Hey babe, A-Jie and Zixuan will come along to leave A-Ling here— the younger man said even if he knew Lan Zhan deduced it already

—Mn— he said, then a small and almost imperceptible smirk appeared on his face before saying playfully —ChengCheng—

Wanyin abruptly turned his head to face his lover at the embarrassing nickname that his siblings used, checks and neck of a beautiful scarlet —Shut up!— it was all Wei Ying´s fault for “inventing” that dumb sobriquet, Wanyin blamed him for his shame

Yanli and her family arrived at 6 p.m. both adults wearing fancy clothes and a five years old holding her mother’s hand, when the little boy saw his uncle his eyes shined in mirth and he ran up to him

—JiuJiu— the named opened his arms to catch his nephew in time

—A-Ling, I´ve missed you so much— Jiang Cheng hugged him softly

—But JiuJiu we saw each other last week— the boy complained

The latter put a funny indignant face before exclaiming —That a lot of time for this old man!— drama was Wanyin’s second name, the only one capable of wining him for the most dramatic person wasn’t his brother, unlike everyone though, but it was his boyfriend

—But JiuJiu is not old!—

—Well, I see you guys will have a good time, so we’ll be leaving now— Yanli spoke amused by the uncle-nephew interaction —Thank you again, A-Cheng—

—No problem A-Jie, have fun you two— he got close to the couple to allow Jin Ling to say good bye to his parents —Treat her good— Wanyin whispered when he got close to Jin Zixuan, the latter only nodded before putting an arm in his wife’s waist and walking off

—And then the teacher said we’ll be doing the work in pairs— Jin Ling was now sited on Jiang Cheng’s lap, telling him about the solar system mockup after his JiuJiu asked him how he was doing in school

—Really? And you did yours with.... let me guess—

—With Zizhen!— the boy said merrily, remembering his best friend —He went to my house and we had a sleepover!—

—I knew it— Wanyin whispered to himself —How did it go?—

—You would have seen it JiuJiu, it looked really cool! the teacher said it was the best of all of them and gave us a golden star!— he let out a snicker at the cute sight of a five old Jin Ling with a proud and joyful expression ‘he remembers me of his father’, he patted softly his head

—Good job A-Ling— the toddler eyes sparkled like stars and a contagious cute big smile appeared in his face making his uncle grin too, he really loved his little nephew

In the kitchen Lan Zhan was preparing more popcorns, they had to change the movies genre to something more suitable for Ling’s age and now they were watching ‘Moana’, he didn’t care tho, none of them would say it out loud but it was one of his and Wanyin’s favorite movies. When he finished, he took the tray with snacks, two teas and a chocolate milk for the child, leaving it on the living table, he took a seat next to his boyfriend, putting his right arm across his shoulders puling him close, Jiang Cheng accommodated the blanket to cover the boy on top of him and his boyfriend correctly.

The movie started, the hot tea in his hands and the familiar ambient making him feel relaxed, it was so quiet and calm, this was the best free day he could have asked for, when his eyes started to close by their own he placed the cup back in the table to make sure he won´t spill anything by accident. It was in half of the movie when the youngest of them all started to bop his head, falling in Morphea’s arms too.

Lan Zhan gently placed his Cheng’s head in his lap, giving him a small peek in his forehead, carefully to make sure neither of them would wake up, he grabbed A-Ling and lay him down in his left side, putting his head on top of him too, then grabbed another blanket to coat the child and finally lifted Wanyin’s legs to the couch.

He smiled in that way where his eyes shined and his aura betrayed how happy he was (or well not as much but close, because nothing would describe how much happiness and joy he felt), each hand placed in one head massaging them with delicately patience and love, he didn’t asked for anything more than this, it was perfect, his heart beat with glee. Being with his loved ones, his family, it was the best gift he could receive and this was definitely his best free day and one of his favorites in general, he didn’t used to sleep at this hour but the tired of not sleeping at time and the warmth of the place plus the relaxed faces of the people on his lap, sleeping so comfortable, seeming so relaxed and tiny (they looked so cute Lan Zhan thought, his ears now red for his own shameless) made him want to rest too, so he closed his eyes and his breath quickly became softer and slower, the movie ended at the same time Lan Zhan fell asleep.

Yes, it was the best day off they could have asked for.

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Unedited

I wanted to write some fluff after the angst I wrote yesterday for day 25 and I didn’t finished even tho I tried lol, so I tried to make it today uwu (I’ll update it either way, late or not jsjs)

I’m not 100% satisficed with the result but ñe, I wanted to write soft ZhanCheng so I did :D (I was between zc or zcx tbh jiji)

Hope you guys like it and please note that english isn’t my first language so please forgive any mistakes unu (I had to use the translator a lot also to find some synonyms and not be so repetitive lmao)

Oh and btw I only used one prompt as you could tell 😔👌🤭

#Jiang Cheng #jiang wanyin #jclovemonth2020 #lan zhan #lan wangji #zhancheng #jin ling #wen yuan #lan sizhui #lan jingyi #ouyang zizhen #jiang siblings #wei wuxain #jiang yanli #jin zixuan #lan xichen

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javierpenaspinkshirt · 4 years

Text

Lawful Good

Chapter three

Warnings: slight NSFW. Angst. Swears. The slow burn continues. Bad formatting.

Words: 3.4k.

Summary: things go up a level for Javi & Y/N, but nothing is ever that simple.

A/N: thank you so much everyone for kind words and love! Thank you anyone who reads this rambling written when I should be be working lmao.

Previous chapters: chapter one chapter two

Chapter three

It was in the strange and surreal moments that you found yourself really wondering why you had come all the way to Bogotá? What was it that had driven you to leave home at 18 and travel to the country of your grandparents? You could have quite happily had a life back home in Texas. Didn’t even need to be Texas, could’ve been anywhere in the USA… anywhere in the world really! The world was your oyster. And yet as you stood in the dingy excuse for a library in the bowels of the US Embassy to Colombia with none other that Javier Peña pressed up against you, you began to wonder whether the stars had indeed aligned, and afforded you a brief moment of bliss to assure you that you had, in fact, made all the right choices.

Javi had his forehead leant against yours. Eyes closed, head tilted down a little due to your height difference. You’d followed him down here in search of a law book you needed. Bare footed, you’d tagged along with genuinely innocent intentions. You wondered whether his intentions had been quite so innocent. You had been stood here, leant up against the dusty old bookshelf for what could be no longer than 10 seconds. It felt like a life time. His hands were on your hips, fingers digging into your soft skin ever so very slightly. The pressure was just right. Your hands clung to his shirt, a little damp from the humidity in the cramped, windowless room and from the sweat of the heavy lifting he’d been doing not 30 seconds ago.

His hands began to move, very slowly as if asking permission, towards the hemline of your pencil skirt. He bent his knees slightly as he reached the hem and began to pull your skirt up until it was around your waist. Once again his lips were on yours, less sweetly this time, this time more passionate and with clear intention. If you had any dignity in this moment you would have pushed him away from you, straightened your skirt and left. But, for the first time in lord knows how long, in this moment your brain went silent. Every rational thought, every ounce of concern had been replaced with the repressed feeling you had for the man who was now moving his lips to the pulse point in your neck. Your hands grabbed at his shirt, pinching lightly on his skin. He didn’t seem to mind. A hushed moan escaped you as he kissed just the right spot, his hands beginning to roam towards your thighs. His lips were back on yours again, feverish. Clearly his brain had ceased functional thought as well. Holy shit.

Suddenly he pulled his hands away and cupped your face gently, still kissing you. Your hands slid down his body, taking in every inch of muscle and every touch of soft skin through his shirt before reaching for his belt buckle. And then his hands were on yours.

You opened your eyes, frustrated and confused. He held your hands in his, stopping you removing his belt.

‘We can’t’, his words not registering properly in your mind. ‘I’m sorry this… this cant happen, we cant’ he trailed off, perhaps recognising that you were too side swiped by his sudden change in attitude to understand him.

He held both of your hands up to his chest, ‘we have to go back, they’ll have noticed we’ve gone’, he said it in a hushed tone that, despite the building disappointment and anger in you, calmed you slightly.

You removed your hands from his and pulled your skirt down. You still hadn’t responded to him but the sensible part of your brain had reengaged and panic was beginning to set in. You felt your breath hitch as the anxiety set in. Fuck fuck fuck!

‘Can we go back upstairs and just pretend this didn’t happen?’ He had his negotiator voice on, like he was trying to keep you quiet in exchange for a visa. Like you were one of his ‘girls’.

You nodded dumbly. He was still so close to you.

Finally he moved and began making his way towards the door. You followed, scooping up your lost law book on your way. You followed him through the maze of corridors, not saying a word to each other. You ducked into one of the ladies’ bathrooms, telling him you’ll see him back in the office in a sec.

You thanked god that the bathroom was empty and you leant over the sink and stared at your reflection in the mirror. Thank fuck you hadn’t worn lipstick today or it would have certainly been smeared all over your face and his. You were still barefoot, standing on the cool tile of the bathroom and finally some sense came crashing back to your body. You had absolutely no idea what had happened in the library. Why had you kissed him? Why had he kissed you back? Why had he stopped himself when clearly you weren’t going to? The answer as to why you’d done it was clear, you liked Javi. Much more than you had thought. A seemingly innocent crush on a colleague had almost got you fucked in a glorified cupboard. You let a smile dance on your lips, how absurd that thought felt.

You tied your hair back up, caught all the wayward strands and forced them into a bun. You smoothed your skirt, tucked your blouse in and wiped away those threatening tears. Today was not the day you cried in a bathroom.

You held the law book tightly to your chest as you walked back to the office you shared with Javi, praying that no one looked up from their desks for fear your flushed red cheeks would give you away. As you rounded the corner to your office you could see he wasn’t there and you breathed a careful sigh of relief. Before you knew what you were doing, you were slipping your heels on, cramming the necessary files into your bag, along with the book that had got you into all this trouble, and you were heading for the taxi rank across the road from the embassy. It was Thursday, you figured no one would notice if you knocked off an hour or so early and you could just finish your work at home without the feel of his, or anyone else’s, eyes on you.

The moment you stepped into your apartment you kicked off your heels, threw your bag down and slumped onto your couch. Those threatening tears crept up on you again but this time you let them fall. They streaked your mascara down your cheeks and made your eyes go all puffy and red. You sniffled, feeling pitiful and weak. You weren’t even sure why you were crying. Was it shock? Was it disappointment? Or was it the realisation that actually you had worryingly strong feelings for a man who was not only a colleague, but a known womaniser.

You hoped that perhaps he would come and knock on your door this evening just to check you were alright? After all he was meant to drive you home this evening, maybe he would come to your door to see that you had got home safely? But he never did.

The next morning you woke up before your alarm. The city below you hadn’t been to sleep yet and it was buzzing. The noise was comforting. Despite the fact you had spent the night obsessing over what had happened in the library the day before, life went on, and the city below didn’t care about your problems.

You pulled yourself from bed and took a hot shower. You hadn’t taken your make up off before slumping into bed last night so you scrubbed any remnants of yesterday’s tears from your face and resolved to just get on with your job today.

As it was Friday you opted for a polo shirt and jeans. Really there wasn’t a dress code at the embassy, but you had found that dressing more formally had helped others see you as more of a professional, rather than just a girl. But today you didn’t care. Today you didn’t want anyone’s eyes on you. Today you were just going to work hard.

And then there was a knock on your door.

You froze. You had assumed you’d be taking the bus to work today. But perhaps not.

You looked through the peep hole in your door and sure enough it was Javi. Leather jacket, blue shirt, jeans, and those aviators that hid the way he looked at you.

You opened the door, ‘I didn’t expect you this morning’ you began.

‘Come on, Y/N, don’t do this. Let’s not go there’ his stance was stiff, hands on his hips looking a little uneasy but more annoyed than anything. He had really meant it when he’d asked you to pretend it didn’t happen.

‘Fine’ you sighed. You were not in the mood to argue. You grabbed your bag, opted for a pair of trainers, and then followed him down the stairs to his jeep.

It was a quiet drive to the office. You didn’t try to make conversation, just stared out of the window instead. He managed two cigarettes in the time it took for you to get to the embassy.

As he pulled up into his parking space, Javi turned to look at you.

‘I’m sorry about yesterday’ he took his shades off so you could see that there was at least a little sincerity in his eyes. ‘I don’t know what happened in there, but I know it could get us both in to trouble. I already have eyes on me and you don’t need that, so please, lets pretend this didn’t happen for both our sakes and lets just get on with work, okay?’.

You looked him dead in the eyes. Part of you believed he was sorry and that it really had been a spur of the moment loss of control on both sides, but something in you told you he was just as sorry that it hadn’t happened. Rather than quiz him you simply nodded.

‘Okay’ you gave a slightly forced smile and hopped out of the jeep.

By the time lunchtime rolled around you hadn’t left your desk once. Now you had the missing copy of the text book you needed you could finish the report you were writing. An NPC officer had got himself in trouble for shooting a sicario point blank and as he had been acting on orders from the DEA it was up to you to get him out of trouble. It was going to be tricky to sway this one, but if anyone could do it, it was you.

Javi sat across the room from you. He had also been in all morning, writing reports and scouring through aerial shots of the city, looking for anything, even the tiniest of detail, that might give up some information about Escobar’s whereabouts. Usually he would have chatted everything through with Steve but he wasn’t back until the weekend, and as you weren’t talking to him he sat in silence and mulled it all over in his head.

He’d steal the occasional glance at you, just checking you were alright. He should have checked on you yesterday, he knew that. But he didn’t trust himself. It’s not as if he would simply have come to your door, pleaded his case and then left, because he knew from your shared experience in the library cupboard that you were both as eager as each other. He knew that if he had come to your door yesterday to apologise, you would have ended up sleeping together. And its not that he didn’t want that, but he told himself that it would be bad for your respective careers.

The reality was that Javi was not in fact a difficult guy to read, not if he let the walls down for a moment. And there was one time he always let his guard down, sex. It was the only time he could be truly vulnerable, maybe that was part of the reason he enjoyed it so much? It usually didn’t matter, he could say anything to his usual evening companions, they didn’t care. If they were fucking him it was either because they had information for him or because he had paid them. He felt absolutely no shame in that, why should he? But it also served to keep him safe, because at the end of the night they would go home or he would leave their place knowing that whatever was said in the heat of the moment would be forgotten.

But with you? He couldn’t take that risk. He couldn’t risk telling you how he really felt. How he admired you every day, how he thought you were brilliant, so smart, and funny with a sharp tongue and a wicked mind. He couldn’t dare tell you he thought you were beautiful, or that you often crept into his thoughts when he found himself alone. It was too risky. He knew that. But still, he would find himself fantasising about whispering all of those things in your ear while you screamed his name beneath him.

He looked across the room at you again. You were still busy. He didn’t know exactly what you were doing, but it must be important as you hadn’t shifted in several hours. You were probably saving some cop’s career, getting him out of trouble. Getting him off. God how he wished you were getting him off.

Javi stood up suddenly. The quick move startled you slightly and you made eye contact with him for the first time since you’d left the car park this morning.

‘I’m hungry’ he put his hands on his hips, ‘do you want me to get you anything?’

‘No thank you’ you were polite but you looked straight back down at your papers.

You didn’t see Javi’s face drop as you brushed him aside. He grabbed his jacket and his shades and headed out.

As soon as you lost sight of him round the corner of the office you sighed and put your head on the desk. This was excruciating! Were you going to act like total strangers for the rest of the day? At least he had tried to talk to you, offering to get you lunch. He hadn’t offered for you to go with him, but that wasn’t so unusual. He often found the close quarters in which you, he and Steve usually worked a little stifling. The crowded streets of Bogotá weren’t exactly any less claustrophobic, but you understood his need to get out into the open air.

You resolved to finish this report, save this cop’s career, and then you would be more chatty with Javi. You were still upset and confused, but you were just as frustrated at yourself for letting it get that far yesterday, it wasn’t fair to blame him only.

It was 3pm by the time you finished your report and he still hadn’t come back. You handed your essay to another member of staff who would hand it to someone else, who would file it, where it would get stamped by a secretary, who would pass it onto the internal mail carrier, who would eventually get it to the ambassador. She would then sign it, sanctioning the cop’s shooting of the sicario, therefore protecting him under the weight of the US, and saving his job. A whole lot of work for the signature of a woman who, though she seemed to take her job seriously enough, likely wouldn’t even read your words. But your job was done. This is exactly what they paid you for.

You waited another half an hour before deciding to call Javi, it had been several hours since he’d gone out and you were starting to get that pit of fear in your stomach.

‘Peña’ he answered. It sounded like he was indoors somewhere.

‘Hey, are you safe? You’ve been out for awhile?’

‘Yeah don’t worry I’m fine, I got a tip but it turned out to be shit.’

You could hear voices behind him. Female voices?

‘Okay well as long as you’re alright, I’ll leave you be’

‘Thank you for checking, Y/N’. He hung up.

You told yourself there was no way he’d snuck off to a brothel on his lunch break. And then you reminded yourself that he was Javier Peña and it wouldn’t be the first time. You then reminded yourself that you shouldn’t care. He was doing his job and it wasn’t yours to question his methods. But still, jealousy burned inside you and you found your anger with him grew tenfold. You just had to get through the rest of the day and then you were free for the weekend. You could use that time to see friends, maybe confide in your best friend, and just be rid of him for a few days. Steve and Connie were flying back to Colombia on Sunday so you would pop up and see them in the evening, take Steve that bottle of something expensive you’d bought him to let him know you’d missed him. Maybe you’d take them some food so they didn’t have to worry about cooking that night?

You focused on that for the rest of the day and by the time Javi did return to the office, the rage had subsided and you were able to make comfortable small talk until he drove you home that evening.

Sunday rolled around and you woke up groggy, your head fogged with last night’s alcohol and the lingering feeling of unknown regret.

You’d been out with friends the night before and gone dancing at one of your favourite clubs from when you were at law school. You’d also got to speak Spanish all night which wasn’t something you did much, despite living in Colombia. You made a point of always speaking to Javi in English so that he would get into the habit of doing the same so Steve could understand. You hated the way Steve’s face would twist in frustration when he couldn’t understand conversations in Spanish. Making sure you spoke English around him as much as possible was your way of thanking him for also looking out for you. But last night you’d relished the opportunity to sing and shout in Spanish with your friends and you had enjoyed every moment. That was until you’d gone to the bar after dancing. You had absolutely no idea what had happened after that. One of your group had recently been given a pay rise so she had supplied you with drinks all night.

A tequila headache was one of your least favourite things. You remembered the shots. You remembered the giggly swaying, hanging on to your friends and trying to prop each other up. Although as things vaguely came back to you, you remembered that the person propping you up hadn’t been one of the guys in your friendship group. Someone else had arrived on the scene in the early hours of the morning and he had walked you home.

Your stomach dropped. You were laying on your side and you gently moved your hand behind you to feel the other side of the bed. Oh god. Someone was there. Your whole body synched in silent prayer as you hoped and wished that it was one of your group of friends who had decided to crash at yours.

You began to roll over, slowly, carefully, careful in part because you didn’t want to wake the mystery body beside you but also because you were afraid any sudden movements would bring up last night’s memories from your stomach. You rolled on to your back and braced yourself.

You turned your head, and there he was. Fast asleep, hair a mess, bare chest exposed with the lower half of him covered by your bed sheets. He looked so peaceful, you’d never seen him so quiet. His chest was slowly rising and falling with his breath, one arm under his head, the other by his side as he lay on his back. He looked comfortable. You envied him as your headache grew and began to thump.

You couldn’t bring yourself to move for fear of waking him up. You couldn’t think properly with the noise of the bar still ringing in your ears. So you just stared at him, snoring quietly.

You had woken up in your own apartment thank god. But you had also woken up beside Javier Peña.

Chapter four

Tag list: @ah-callie @thinemineours @opheliaelysia

#lawful good #javier peña x reader #javier peña x you #javier peña fic #narcos fanfic #narcos #javier peña #pedro pascal #narcos fic #javi peña #javi #fanfic #javier x you #javi x you #javier x reader #javi x reader

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mingtiddies · 4 years

Text

prince!soonyoung

genre: fluff, a little funny if you squint your eyes, prince au

word count: 1918

warnings: suggestive, but it’s nothing explicit

a/n: here i come with yet another prince au, one of my favorites bc of how the story goes although i still think it could be a lot better

with everything that’s going on these i also wanna remind everyone to always wash your hands thoroughly, stay home and/only go out when it’s necessary, if you can’t stay home because of your job, please be extra careful, protect yourselves and those around you 💖

● prince soonyoung

● he was living his best life

● bothering prince jihoon every other day

● also to see jihoon’s law adviser

● sometimes going to see prince seungkwan and prince seokmin

● almost never in his own kingdom

● “have you seen the prince?” all over the palace

● all the princes around him seemed to be forced into marriage but ended up finding someone they loved to marry

● prince soonyoung had never thought about his future as a husband and king, seeing as his parents never mentioned a bride to him

● he had never even heard the staff whisper about it

● usually if there was something important to know he could easily find out through the staff’s incessant gossiping

● he had found out about some of his surprises this way

● but nothing ever regarding his non-existent love life

● except for some people saying he was old enough to find himself a bride

● (he didn’t really see the point of it since he wouldn’t be crowned king until his father died, and thank god, his father was very much healthy)

● so imagine his surprise

● when he came home one day from prince jihoon’s kingdom and found you

● he wondered who you were

● you couldn’t be staff because you dressed too nicely

● and you couldn’t be daughter of a duke or of an official because of the colors you wore

● “why is it so hard for your staff to keep you in place?”

● “you really shouldn’t be going around so much in other princes’ kingdoms”

● “a princess?”

● he thought that one out loud

● you smiled and nodded, “princess y/n”

● but why tf was a princess in his palace

● “we should dive straight into wedding preparations, we don’t have much time”

● WEDDING????

● prince soonyoung had thought before about how he would react when his parents told him that it was time for him to find someone to marry

● whether they’d give him a choice of bride, or just force someone on him

● "a wedding? when????"

● "next week"

● what he most definitely did not expect was to find out he was getting married within days of meeting his bride

● ran to find his parents for an explanation

● they didn’t have one

● the king and queen encouraged him to spend all of his free time with you to get to know you

● which was an epic failure

● seeing as our dearest prince soonyoung liked to spent his time out of his own kingdom

● you did the only thing you could do and followed him everywhere to try

● if you can’t beat em, join em, they said

● you ended up leaving the entirety of the wedding preparations to the staff so you could follow soonyoung and try to get to know him as much as you could

● which, wasn’t difficult at all, he seemed comfortable around you and had opened up to you pretty quickly

● “shouldn’t we have gone on dates before getting married?”

● loved to joke around

● it was harmless and cute

● somehow, sometime before the wedding, he had become so much more open to you that you felt like you’d known each other for more than 5 days lmao

● soonyoung was a simple man

● the fact that you followed him everywhere, yet gave him space, kinda made his heart go wild

● he thought it was cute that you tried so hard to convince him to stay home, even though you were with him in another kingdom

● also found it funny because it always failed

● luckily for you when they said you’d get married in 7 days after meeting each other, it meant the festivities would start there

● so like day 1 for guests to arrive

● some princes from the closest kingdoms were invited and they were so shocked that soonyoung was gonna get married all of a sudden lmao

● day 2 was for the press conference, to announce the engagement and marriage

● day 3 was for the engagement party

● which was so weird for both of you because suddenly you were engaged and it felt more real than it did at first

● at some point soonyoung had to stay in place

● day 4 was for the rest of the royal guests to arrive while the royal families had a feast for dinner

● and then came the wedding

● soonyoung was very calm about this

● he trusted his parents to have chosen the right fit for him and the kingdom

● and you had grown on him quite fast

● you had your first official kiss at the wedding

● which made things so awkward for both of you

● almost like best friends suddenly having to kiss and making the friendship awkward

● except you had known each other for like less than two weeks

● but if only that was the worst of it lmao

● because after the part where everyone’s like wooo newly weds

● his parents tell you that you have to consume the marriage

● like right away

● otherwise it gives a timetable to get the marriage annulled and well

● the goal here is for you to stay married

● “wait what?”

● “WHY HASN’T ANYONE TOLD ME THIS? HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS?”

● it’s a bit hush-hush in the family, only the royal family knows about it

● so like, it’s not even public knowledge

● so now things are even more awkward than they were after the kiss

● because you now have to have sex with your husband whom you have met like 12 days ago

● cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool

● the actual worst part of it is having to have someone make sure the two of you consume your marriage

● which used to be done by someone peeping

● but now it’s a medical procedure after

● and then of course you have to go back to the after party

● prince soonyoung tried his best to make things light hearted

● and fun

● despite the absolute awkwardness

● “just pretend we’ve known each other for years”

● “that’s not very hard, you opened up to me so fast that i actually thought we were best friends”

● “okay then uh, pretend we’ve been in love for years then”

● strangely it worked a little better

● the whole thing was still very much embarrassing and if none of you ever mentioned it again it would be too soon

● simultaneously the best and worst experience of your entire life

● (over time you learned to love those moments in bed with him but that’s because you ended up falling in love lol)

● getting dressed was soooo awkward and the room was so silent

● you asked if the test was really necessary and if they couldn’t just take your word for it

● you tried

● soonyoung had gone to change for the after party

● when your test was over you went to change and went back to party

● but soonyoung had waited for you outside of your chambers

● yeet

● the party had just begun and you had to make an entrance as... well...the future king and queen

● prince soonyoung confides a lot in prince jihoon even though jihoon only listens to half of the things he says

● so when soonyoung gets the chance to be away from you for a second and is with jihoon

● he mentioned the bedding ceremony

● jihoon did a double take

● one because “a what now?”

● and two because “why the fuck are you telling me this?”

● and then soonyoung can’t find you anymore lmao

● you’re just avoiding him for the time being

● because well, you met days ago and just had sex hours after getting married

● will you ever not think about how awkward that was?

● no

● with that said once soonyoung realized he couldn’t find you anywhere, he almost alerted the guards

● while trying to hide you spotted who you were told was prince seungkwan’s wife

● you decided you had nothing to lose and asking a prince’s wife advice/comparing experiences would probably make you feel better/less weird

● so after talking a little bit

● and after she clearly saw how nervous you were

● you asked if you could ask a personal question

● more like a few personal questions

● so you asked about her and seungkwan’s first time (not in details)

● also asking if she’d felt weird or awkward or nervous after

● she answered with no problem and asked why you wanted to know in return

● yeet yeet

● so you told her about the bedding ceremony and having met soonyoung days ago

● if that hadn’t just happened to you, you probably would’ve laughed at her reaction

● but it had, so you didn’t

● “is that why you’re asking me? because you feel nervous, weird and awkward?”

● “i guess it’s normal... i mean you’ve only met recently and all of this was forced on you, but i wouldn’t worry too much about it”

● she kept giving you words of encouragement

● and that’s around when soonyoung found you

● “hey i couldn’t find you anywhere i was starting to get seriously worried”

● seungkwan’s wife left you and you realized you’d been kinda secluded and hidden from the rest of the party

● “we haven’t talked since...and yeah...i didn’t get to ask if you were okay?”

● “not exactly the time and place to talk, but i am, i’m okay”

● “even...?”

● he didn’t need to finish because you knew what he meant

● you kinda wished he hadn’t mentioned it, even implicitly

● you nodded and he stared at you

● “you sure you’re okay? your face is turning red”

● you hated how he could make you so flustered without explicitly saying anything

● like nothing had happened

● and your face was burning in embarrassment

● and he was just making it worse

● “are you? we just got married and had sex”

● okay maybe you shouldn’t have blurted it out, out of frustration because it made you more embarrassed saying it out loud

● buuut, maybe his reaction had been worth it

● because now it was his turn to be flustered

● it made you feel a tiny bit better

● he simply nodded in response

● and of course, for it to be funnier to you, you used his own words on him

● “you sure you’re okay? your face is turning red”

● little gap where he just stared at you

● “woah, you’re shameless”

● “I’M SHAMELESS?? YOU’RE THE ONE WHO ˢᵃⁱᵈ ⁱ ᶠᵉˡᵗ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ”

● the way you lowered the volume of your voice almost made him laugh

● but you were becoming infuriating

● “WOAH! i can’t believe you had to mention that right now as if you hadn’t told me to not stop”

● there was another gap and then suddenly the two of you burst out laughing

● “this marriage is definitely gonna be okay”

● and you couldn’t disagree

● by laughing it off, the nervousness seemed to lift off your shoulders

● so you guessed you would indeed be okay

● as long as you had prince soonyoung by your side

● and as long as he had you by his

● years from then you both found it so funny

● the next time you got intimate, you called it your first time, saying the bedding ceremony didn’t count lmao

● almost like trying to erase it from history

● you did consider removing bedding ceremonies from being a requirement

● you also promised yourselves to not introduce your child to their partner a week before having to get married

● so either introduce them as teens so they could grow together or giving your child time and opportunities to find someone

● it might have worked for you and prince soonyoung but there was no guarantee that it would work again

seungcheol ║ jeonghan ║ joshua ║ junhui ║ soonyoung ║ wonwoo ║ jihoon ║ seokmin ║ mingyu ║ minghao ║ seungkwan ║ vernon ║ chan

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen bulletpoint #soonyoung #hoshi #soonyoung imagines #hoshi imagines #soonyoung bulletpoint #hoshi bulletpoint #prince!seventeen #prince au #prince!soonyoung #prince!hoshi #svt #svt imagines

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thevioletjones · 4 years

Note

That 100k hits tropes prompt sure makes a person want to slap together some absolutely WILD combinations.....however, I would like to present you with a relatively tame #67: time travel and #39: accidental eavesdropping. (PS--congrats!)

Thanks! What I came up with for this one is a little weird, and may not be at all what you had in mind, lmao, but anyway…. Rather than do a time travel scenario pertaining to IxM’s lives, I decided on them traveling to a historical event, and I also made the “eavesdropping” bigger and more purposeful. Lol. Hope you like it anyway! Shout out to @grumblesandmumbles for the time period/gangster idea.

July 22, 1934, Lincoln Park, Chicago, IL

“This was such a dumb idea, Mickey. There are feds everywhere!”

“Yeah, and they’re all busy tryin’ to nab literal Public Enemy Number One, so what’re you so worried about?”

“Um, I’m worried about the fucking time machine in the alleyway five blocks away, and how we’re gonna get near the fuckin’ theater since it’s surrounded by G-Men anyhow.”

“You read the damn biography, Gallagher. You know they set up a shit perimeter full of innocent bystanders. Coppers didn’t know what the hell they were doin’ back then.”

“You mean back now.”

Mickey rolled his eyes. “Whatever. This is gonna be so fuckin’ cool.”

Ian’s face scrunched up. “Your murder boner kinda disturbs me sometimes, you know that?”

“Well, you followed my murder boner all the way to the 1930s, so maybe you shoulda protested sooner.”

Ian flicked him in the ear as they kept walking. The Biograph Theater was only a little over a block up to the left now.

“There’s gotta be a spot we can stake out and see it all.”

Mickey scoured both sides of the street as they approached. They still had almost two hours to kill before anything would go down, but surely the rooftops would be occupied by some kind of rudimentary version of a SWAT team, right? Procedural details were always hard to pinpoint when it came to the past, and neither Ian, nor Mickey were exactly scholars with expertise on historical criminal law enforcement. Still, they’d never trust a man in uniform. Not after all the shit they’d seen and dealt with growing up where they did. Back in Future Chicago where the Depression was over in name, but might as well still exist for them and theirs.

Ian caught sight of an apartment building sort of catty-cornered from the theater that had balconies cut out from the brick. He nudged Mickey and motioned toward the building with his head.

“One of those balconies would be perfect. As long as we don’t get hit by a ricochet. Could be dangerous.”

“Dude, we found out we can’t change the past. We woulda known if someone in that building caught a deadly bullet, right?”

Ian shrugged. “I guess, but we’re still new at this shit. Anything could happen. I don’t wanna be stuck dragging your corpse back to the future.”

“Settle down, McFly, we’ll be fuckin’ fine. I could break into one of these places easy. Shit, it’s the 30s, people probly leave everything unlocked anyway.”

“If I’m McFly, you’re Biff, asshole. And we’re not breaking into shit. If someone calls the cops, they’re literally right at the doorstep. I’m not getting fucking arrested in 1934.”

“Why not?” Mickey asked amusedly. “Could be fun to break out. Dillinger and Baby Face did that shit not long ago.”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s just go watch your fuckin’ hero get shot up without the incarceration part. I got an idea.”

Ian’s idea involved knocking on doors near the front side of the building until he was greeted by a little old lady, to whom he then spun a yarn about how he used to be sweethearts with a girl who lived in the building, and how he came back for her, but she doesn’t live there anymore, and did she know the young lady? And it was a good thing they’d procured some era-appropriate clothes and props, because suddenly, there were Ian Gallagher and Mickey Milkovich, sipping tea and sharing a piece of bread and butter in the kitchen of some random lady born in the middle of the 1800s, listening to her tales, which were frankly way more boring than you’d expect given the space and time traveled.

As the clock neared the hour they knew shit was about to go down, Ian slyly requested permission to take the air on the balcony and have a cigarette with his friend, Mick, if it wasn’t too much trouble, and then they’d be on their way. She agreed, and his boyfriend giddily made his way outside with Ian at his heels.

“Jesus, firecrotch, cuttin’ it close with that old windbag.”

“Whatever, I got you a front row murder seat, baby. I deserve a reward.”

“Oh, you’ll get your reward later, big boy.”

They pushed each other around good-naturedly and Mickey pulled out a fake silver cigarette case and a box of matches. They had a perfect view of the street in front of the cinema where Manhattan Melodrama was displayed across the marquee.

“Can’t believe we’re about to witness this shit,” Mickey continued as he lit his smoke. “So badass.”

“Whatever,” said Ian, snatching the cig, “I still say we shoulda gone to the 1860s if we were gonna do the assassination rubbernecking. Seeing Lincoln get shot would be a million times more significant.”

“No way we woulda gotten into a fuckin’ play with the President, man, not even back then. This is way easier, and way cooler. This dude is one of the most notorious gangsters of all time, and we get to see him eat lead.”

Mickey positively radiated excitement, and now Ian really was really concerned.

“This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever agreed to do with you.”

“Ain’t my problem,” Mickey groused, snatching back the cigarette.

Suddenly, there was activity across the street. The movie was letting out.

“Oh shit,” said Ian.

“This is it,” said Mickey.

Within a few minutes time, all hell broke loose. There was scuffling, yelling, screaming, and suddenly gunfire. Like a lot of it. Everyone was ducking and running, but they could clearly see John Dillinger followed by Melvin Purvis and the other feds, and the way the infamous fugitive’s body dropped to the floor as the shots still rang out around them.

They’d traveled all this way, and it was over in seconds.

Ian kinda grimaced, but Mickey… Mickey looked almost gleeful. It was a little frightening to Ian that he was so in love with someone with that true tinge of a psychotic edge.

“Holy shit!” Mickey exclaimed. “People really are swarming him to get blood samples.”

And to Ian’s total horror, Mickey took off on a tear out of the apartment, just as the little old lady ran toward the balcony.

“What on earth happened? What’s going on?”

“Oh, well, it looks like the police shot a man outside.”

She gasped and hustled toward the railing. As they watched the scene below, Ian eventually saw Mickey emerge from the large crowd to wave a scarlet-soaked handkerchief at him, then take off down the street toward the park.

“Shit,” said Ian. “I’m sorry, ma’am but I’ve gotta go. Thank you for the hospitality.”

She nodded in confusion and stuttered a goodbye, then Ian went after his batshit boyfriend. At this rate, he’d have to stop him before he tried to join up with what was left of the Dillinger gang before the rest of them got shot up later on in the year. He’d probably try to make himself the kingpin of the remaining operation.

“Crazy motherfucker,” Ian muttered as he took off running.

#ficlet #trope challenge #ian x mickey #gallavich

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hey-hamlet · 5 years

Text

BNHA AU Ideas: Don’t Praise the Almighty (Part 2)

Also on AO3!

TW: Child Abuse (all kinds implied, explicit verbal and physical abuse), implied CSA

TL;DR:

Things you must sacrifice to make a hero: Humanity, Empathy.

Things you must sacrifice to be a hero: Everything.

But with the end of a symbol come the end of the hurt.

Starting with I-Island Expo

mellissa calls them over like canon, shouto basically demands he gets endeavours spot. aizawa and yamada go too, mostly because yamada was going there for his show and they heard whispers of all might, and were worried about a possible izuku attending so aizawa went as a plus one

the other kids are there for the same reason, but other than scissors paper rock for the tickets it was a tournament brawl because ochako demanded combat.

she won, of course

anyway, they meet up w david and melissa, and izuku and her go explore the expo when melissa tells izuku shes quirkless he just give her the strangest look, and she's a little confused

i-island was a very chill attitude towards quirks. if you have one, cool, but they aren't useful to the inventors so its nbd if you don’t. and she says ab how she's a researcher and all the and he just looks at her like shes speaking gibberish

"they,,, they let you?"

and melissa looks dumbfounded "obviously? i mean, my grades are good enough?"

and izuku just start to cry. melissa is panicking bc she's already adopted this little hero as her little cousin because he's basically uncle might's kid. she like, hides him away in a corner and tries to understand what's wrong

and all she can get out of this crying kid is

"i used to be quirkless" and "don't tell all might"

she gives him a big hug and he talks ab how he was treated in middle school, and about how he hasn't told anyone in ua. she asks why he said don't tell all might and he murmurs that allmight doesn't think is very befitting of a hero to cry

deep down that doesn't sound right to her. but she only nods, hands him a tissue and they giggle about it behind a fancy model car

back in the office david and all might are talking

all might tells david that he knows his quirk is fading but it's ok, because he's training a successor and izuku is going to be perfect. that sounds ok to david. he's warmed by the total faith all might seems to have in his student, and the close relationship they must have to call him by his first name

all might confesses he’s looking forward to retiring and nurturing his student and david calls off the whole heist (well. he tries to. not that they listen.)

so Yamada and Aizawa are walking around the showroom floor and they see a "i was just crying but im trying to hide it and going an ok job" izuku with some random fucking blonde girl and they s w o o p in bc these are some worried dads

basically Yamada keeps her busy while aizawa says "oh i have to talk to you ab something" izuku goes over to aizawa and hes freaking the fuck out quietly. aizawa just leans down to look him in the eye

"you ok, kid?"

and izuku is confused

"what do you mean?"

"you looked a little upset back there, do you know that girl? is she,,, doing anything? to you?"

and izuku feels all warm and fuzzy inside and smiles at his teacher bc aizawa cares!! ab him!!

"no sensei, shes all mights kind-of-niece, she was just showing me around the expo"

and aizawa winces a little at the all might comment but what can he do

"well, don't forget you can talk to me, ok? i know i gave you my number on an emergency basis but i also want you to know your definition of an emergency is terrible. just call whenever you want"

melissa, bc she understands social cues unlike izuku, and also bc shes fucking 18 looks at yamada and says "what's wrong?" and yamada feels all the force of an 18-year-old girls glare of "ive adopted this kid and ill kick you for him"

"just worried about the little listener is all, he looked a little down"

melissa just sighs and nods

"yeah."

yamada expects her to continue but she doesn't. they both just kinda fiddle around with some random buttons until aizawa brings izuku back, who looks significantly cheerier now. melissa declares lunch is on her and that the teachers are coming too

aizawa and yamada try to wiggle their way out of it, until izuku also tries to so they all double down on going to lunch and izuku gets dragged along

when they get there he's fretting ab what won't ruin his diet plan, and aizawa and yamada feel bad. melissa just tells him to get what he wants

"but i dont want to upset-. i should be sticking to my diet plan though."

aizawa loudly declares hes getting a chocolate sundae and pork cutlet sandwiches. melissa, equally loudly, decides on carbonara. yamada fumbles for a bit looking for something unhealthy because hes a mess, finally finds a chicken karrage bowl and points at it like hes very proud of himself

melissa loses her shit laughing, izuku just giggles softly and aizawa fuckn snorts at the crestfallen look on yamada

izuku quietly asks if getting katsudon would be ok and melissa just looks into his eyes

"izuku i would kill a man for you of course pork katudon is ok"

anyway, the other students turn up, and momo shouts them all food, ochako proudly declares herself the winner of a fighting tournament and aizawa just slumps in his chair

"if i didnt hear that, you dont get detention for using your quirks without supervision"

and ochako just smiles with a scary amount of teeth

"who said we used quirks, sensei?"

and ochako proudly shows off the bruise on her upper arm where jirou punched her and jirou is whining bc she has a foot shaped imprint in her stomach s t i l l from the last round

everyone is talking n shooting the shit. it strikes the kids (and the teachers) a little weird that izuku is in his hero costume (the only other person there in costume is yamada, who is representing his agency. aizawa is in free dress but also his scarf bc he wanted to ask how the fuck it was made) but they just kinda, don't mention it

anyway, the bit w the quirk display

they hound aizawa into doing it, and he makes time pretty similar to bakugo and everyone is cheering for him and he's trying very hard to maintain his "im a professional hero not a dad getting cheered on by his stupid kids"

yamada wants to do it, but aizawa won't let him bc people need their ears

all the hero kids give it a go, including ochako, jirou, momo, etc. izuku (who at this point is like at 10%ish full cowl) makes time tied w Todoroki and izuku is talking ab how amazing todoroki is, and tenya chimes in with "you are quite amazing as well!" and midoriya blushes so hard he looks like a strawberry. he is very very flustered and keeps trying to deny it

eventually, everyone piles on the compliments (even katsuki bc this is the most fun hes had in ages) until izuku gets so flustered he hides behind aizawa like "you won't do this to me right?"

aizawa fuckn ruffles his hair and says "you're a good kid"

izuku just cries but he's smiling so wide everyone knows he's happy

so its the night of the party

izuku is dressed to the nines and he's sad ab it bc he wanted to wear something cheery and bright but instead he was dressed in a charcoal black suit, vest and a dark red tie. black shoes too

the one bit of cheer he shoved in were some red laces bc all might didn't mind them bc he was so "good" ab the suit fitting and the poking and prodding so he wears the bright red laces and he's very happy ab them

all might is in his hero costume, and he's very proud of the fact he and izuku match like a pair with the same shade of red bc that's his successor! his boy! all might tells izuku he can wait outside for the rest of the kids to show up and izuku is so happy! so he thanks allmight a lot more than he needs to and waits outside the door (all might was early to the event bc he needed to schmooze)

aizawa and yamada come later to a surprisingly well dressed izuku waiting patiently off to the side

they ask him why he's out there and he happily chirps that he's waiting for the other students that attended, they smile at him and walk in . all might sends them a glare from across the floor that aizawa returns just as spitefully

anyway, iida texts that he's stuck out the front bc the door won't open so he scrambles over to let iida and, apparently ochako as well, in (for the purposes of this au, todoroki, iida, ochako, izuku and melissa are the only ones of the kids at the beginning, todoroki's melodramatic entrance is stolen by jirou and momo. no mineta or kami bc they just,,, arent there lmao)

so the doors slam shut and melissa is like "wtf wtf" and the announcement sounds. they pile up the stair to look down to the dining room, teachers and other heroes tied up

the kids know a bit of sign from various hero class training bits by aizawa and "fun facts" by mic

so they brokenly sign to allmight and aizawa (the only teachers that can see them) that they are going to fix this

all might nods

aizawa looks panicked. these are kids. his kids. they shouldn't have to fight people with fucking guns

izuku says "ill keep them safe" and aizawa wants to cry because he believes him, but who'll keep izuku safe

so iida starts on his whole "we cant use quirks" speech before melissa can even remind them ab i islands quirk laws, izuku just murmurs

"all might gave me permission to fight. it'll be ok."

melissa freezes bc,,, she knows adults shouldn't be letting these kids fight, even if that's exactly what she's going to help them do. she mentions the quirk law anyway

now todoroki is pissed at all might but the bitch was gonna fight anyway. ochako is 100% roaring for a showdown

now they are,, a little more cautious. bc they are a smaller group here but izuku is like double the power so its not realllllyy an issue. the middle fight happens, they gain the wlw and mlm solidarity pairs (Jirou + Momo, Kirishima + Bakugo)

then pretty quickly lose bakugo and momo for a hot minute as they stay to finish up the fight while sending the others on

oh izuku totally has the punchy punchy thing from melissa i just forgot to mention it

so, bc melissa's dad didnt actually,, want in on it this time he's fighting back. he's stalling, pleading, backchatting; everything he can do to give someone a chance to fix his fuck up before it kills someone

so melissa and izuku make it to the top of the tower

izuku has been at shot more times than he's really happy about, just he has nothing more than a few grazes. melissa has a nasty bruise on her face and a cut on her arm from where she redirected a blow that would have stabbed izuku

the villain is talking ab how this was David's idea, and he's trying to explain to the kids that he's sorry, this was a mistake. he tried to call it off but they wouldn't stop. at this point he is totally away these people are real criminals and has been since the heist began

he's trying to convince them to run because as proud as all might is of izuku, and as proud of melissa he is, they are to young. they don't deserve this

izuku takes out the goons but the villain has already escaped with david and the quirk enhancer

izuku promises melissa he'll keep her dad safe and shes left in the control room crying alone because who'll protect the kid that's been nothing but kind and gentle yet has the weight of the world on his shoulders

also just an fyi bc you needed to know- melissa is down her heels and she lost her hairpin when she stabbed someone with it, she threw her heels at a villain too bc she was running out of ideas. melissa literally tied her hair in a big knot so she could fucking see

izuku is down a jacket - threw it over someone's head then punched them and his waistcoat is unbuttoned bc he need to punch. his hair is going fucking hog wild, even in the tighter clip yagi likes it kept in

anyway, when the alarms go off, all might fucking rockets to the roof and aizawa is fuming bc those are his fucking kids too

he and yamada have to take the goddamn elevator to the roof. its certainly not a slow elevator but aizawa is so fucking tense. yamada isn't much better

all might won't let them fight. he hands david and melissa off to them and tells them he and izuku will handle wolfram and aizawa is so pissed bc izuku is on his last fucking legs here

aizawas quirk doesn't work w the enhancer so he admits there isn't much he can do, but yamada is perfect here. but all might won't move out of the way long enough for mic to let his quirk go. honestly, hed be tempted to do it anyway if not for izuku also being there

anyway, all might and izuku do their lil double detroit smash and its all very sweet

kind of

bc,,, aizawa can see how izuku is shaken up, and close to passing out. visibly in a lot of pain but he's swallowing it all down and acting as if everything is fine and aizawa sees izuku with small might again and wonders why, why do they know each other?

yamada and aizawa feel vaguely ill when izuku and all might return to their shared hotel room after all might grabs a few bandages and alcohol wipes from a first aid kit. bc,,, aizawa can see how izuku is shaken up, and close to passing out. visibly in a lot of pain but he's swallowing it all down and acting as if everything is fine

aizawa and yamada stay with the kids, trying to cheer them up and bandaging wounds that don't need urgent medical care. melissa is just blankly watching out the door izuku left through

"why didn't they stay?"

aizawa just aggressively tightens the bandage around his sliced up arm. todoroki looks pissed. iida just kind of looks down

"im not sure, melissa. im... im not sure"

the next morning, as aizawa and yamada stumble downstairs to eat shitty hotel breakfast food, yamada glances out the window and looks like he's about to cry bc izuku, still battered and bruised, is stepping out of the gym over the road. its only 7am

they basically pounce on the kid and drag him to breakfast, where they find out he has been training since 5 and hasn't eaten yet and he's fucking, sheepish about it

"i got up a little late, so i just to my light routine for the morning, ill have to make up the time a little later"

aizawa just shoves pastries at his kid. izuku tries to stammer out that they arent part of his diet but,,, they look really nice and he's really hungry and stressed,,, and he caves pretty quick

so aizawa yamada and izuku are sitting around a table, both of his teachers arent totally human until they've had a coffee so izuku is happily babbling about some new hero teach he saw as aizawa grunts in affirmation

allmight shows up and izuku blanches. aizawa and yamada are a little too tired to realise until yagi is already over by the table. izuku quietly puts down the pastry and just cringes into himself

"im,,, im really sorry. i - i just"

"i got it for him" aizawa says totally deadpan as he slams back a whole ass cup of coffee

deep down inside he did it to flex on mister "i have no stomach so im not allowed caffeine"

all might sighs and gently chides izuku for not sticking to his diet plan. izuku nods miserably and excuses himself back to the room to 'get changed out of his sweaty clothes'

yagi sits and eats breakfast with aizawa and yamada as they try to understand what,,, what exactly happened there. it hurts both of them because they aren't sure what all mights doing

mic has seen one instance of something nasty going on, but other than that its just been a collection of terrible vibes

Training Camp Time Baby.

after that total clusterfuck of an event training camps still on

all might wants to go but nezu no sells him bc "you literally attract villains, all might" and like bitch is smart, he knows something is up. he's not sure what yet, but he's working on it

all might gives aizawa a personalised training schedule for izuku that he takes one look at and throws it out the fucking window

basically all might goes as "all might's secretary" to monoma

"very worried about my boy, and i think aizawa is training him too hard, could you please give me a run down on what happens each day?"

monoma, starry-eyed: of course all might

and there is this little,,, list of things he doesn't want izuku doing and he phrases them in ways that make it seem like he's being perfectly reasonable. like allergies or bad habits izuku is trying to break or whatever. izuku has to tell all might what happens at the end of every day anyway

all might,,, wants hourly updates,,,, but he realises that's not going to happen w aizawa's deep hatred of students on cellphones lmao

he hears izuku mentioning to todoroki that "yagi" wants to know what's happening at the camp and that he's excited to talk to his mentor about all the training they do. and aizawa is caught between wanting to find some bullshit reason to take izukus phone, or just pretending he didn't hear that bc who knows how much trouble not answering yagi could get him in

he makes an announcement that cellphones are to be on mute for the duration of the camp anyway.

yagi wanted to go on the camp, aizawa wouldn't let him, monoma is yagis mole etc we have covered this

in this au the league never latched on to bakugo, it's izuku that shigiraki wants, but to backtrack

getting off the bus its funny in a sad way bc izuku was so prepared to get hit by one of the teachers "training" them at any time he dodges the landslide

they all just kinda sit there for a second, stunned. izuku sighs quietly and jumps after his classmates

anyway so, they get to the camp a lil faster bc izuku is More Powerful, izuku (bc hes faster than iida on uneven ground) runs shinsou to the campground, they mind control pixiebob to stop the earthbeasts then run back to show the rest of 1A the way out

they get there in 2 hours

aizawa is very proud of his boy for thinking of that! and he ruffles izukus hair and its cute

in this au izuku isn't confident enough to say hi to kouta, but he waves. kouta just glares at him and he hides behind iida

they do a little extra training because 1A finished the earth beast thing so fast, half of the training is all of 1A trying to stop Izuku from going overboard. they get a little,,, disturbed when they realise just how long izuku can train without visibly breaking a sweat

they go to chill in the baths and iida sees izuku walking out of the changing rooms and freezes

because he's c o v e r e d in hand-shaped bruises

he tries not to react bc he doesn't want izuku to be uncomfortable and change his mind ab hanging in the bath w all of them

kaminari goes to say something and kirishima just fucking pulls him under the water before he can say anything, mineta is socially aware enough to not open his fucking mouth

they chat n izuku can kinda,,, tell,,, something is wrong but most of the bruises are places he can't see/doesn't look, like his shoulders, hips, back, back of his legs

and the ones on his wrist he just kinda brushes off bc he's still convinced this is normal. the thing w mineta happens, izuku helps kouta, iida comes with him to give him to the wild wild pussycats

and pixiebob looks like she wants to say something bc who is hurting this kid? and iida just catches her eyes and he looks so worried. she keeps her mouth shut, but makes sure to mention it to aizawa. she feels terrible when aizawa just curses and pulls his hair in frustration

anyway, 1B shows up and its hilarious bc 1A is going hog fucking wild other than izuku, aizawa is forcing izuku to learn to cook

so bakugo is screaming and blowing shit up, todoroki is in a fucking barrel, iida is running like afo is chasing him and aizawa is patiently showing izuku how to scramble eegs

monoma is losing his fucking mind

but yeah aizawa and izuku are sitting in front of a little stove w their legs crossed, izuku is trying to cut tomatoes and aizawa is supervising. they are making breakfast for 1A. slowly. all of 1A is being very careful to not disturb them, so there is this little bubble of calm around the egg station

"why,,, why arent i training?"

and aizawa fucking pauses

"this is training, keep up problem child."

and izuku looks so fucking lost but the eggs smell good and he gets to cook the bacon next. each part of the fucking breakfast is cold by the time 1A gets to eat it bc izuku was cooking it 1 by 1, little portions at a time

everyone just tells him its fucking wonderful

he joins in training after breakfast, ragdoll is placed on "izuku watching duty" which izuku has 0 clue about. if he gets hurt/sore/too tired someone gets sent over to get him to do something else

when she looks at him the first time she wants to cry bc,,, he's not tired, he's more rested than he's been in ages. but the places that hurt, before hes even been training, are sending blaring alarm bells in her brain

anyway, its amusing bc everyone is 'going beyond' and they are just trying to get izuku back so they can know what is 'going beyond' and what is 'going so far beyond how are you still moving'

everyone is fucking wiped and izuku is like 'this is the easiest training ive had in months what' and aizawas want to yell bc while hes being soft on izuku, they arent taking his training lightly, and this is easy?

he gives the curry to kouta like the show, they all go to sleep

izuku has a nightmare and shouto - the only person not asleep - tries not to hear the things he's saying. he can't hear much, but he wishes he hadn't heard anything. anyway at least they all wake up well-rested

unfortunately in this au the villains actually have a half-decent plan, and fucking, communicators -which isn't great for the kids

so muscular sees izuku and is like "oi compress move your arse over here" while he tries to kill kouta. so we get the joy of izuku saving kouta, getting him to aizawa and just as he hands over the kid, compress takes izuku and kouta just starts to cry

"izuku is kidnapped" time is a ride

the only thing they give him is a set of quirk suppressors and dont give him a key to get out of the bar. they are about as nice to him as they are to each other, a little softer on him bc he's young and they pretty much know what's happening to him

like, he gets out of compresses marble and he's panicking and crying, dabi just crouches down next to him and rubs his back, asks him if he's gonna be ok

shigiraki is trying to convince izuku to join then and his face just kinda falls when he sees izuku looking resistant

"you,,, you don't know that what he’s doing to you is wrong, do you."

and izuku looks like a deer in the headlights

"what do you mean? no ones- nothings- nothings wrong."

dabi just sits on a chair bc he knows where this is going and he doesn't like it. shigiraki looks at izuku

"if its not wrong, then tell me about it"

and izuku clams right up

ok but afo wants to talk to izuku. in this au he has literally 0 beef with the kid

he has only so much beef with the ofa users in general and he's typically pretty soft on them for being part of his brothers legacy, as soft as he can make killing them if they won't stop getting in his way, but still

but he hates allmight so fucking much and he's never been totally sure why

anyway, he asks to talk w izuku and this kid is shaking like a leaf and afo tells him

"you are a child. i have no intention of hurting you, i just want to know what all might has done to you."

"hes not done anything bad, i swear!"

"then why don't you tell me about it?"

izuku sits there quietly and afo feels just generally disgusted with humanity tbh

"how did you two meet?" izuku slowly opens up about the day they first met, and afo feels a stab of empathy for izuku, because being quirkless now is pretty comparable to being quirked before, afo doesnt interject beyond nods and encouraging him to keep going

but eventually, izuku totally clams up, starts crying and can't say anything else. afo wishes he didnt look as scary as he did because he wants to give the kid a hug. he calls tomura to take him back to the bar and get him something to eat

it gets to the point that all of the villains are super fucking soft for izuku. he's very nice, treats them well, and has seen some horrific shit

so when all might shows up to "rescue" him, they close ranks. they don't even pressure him to become a villain, because each of them has felt society push them into boxes they didn't want, and they don't want to do that to izuku

anyway, they get to kamino bc the usual fuckery, and izuku is just stranded behind villains crying and looking ill

the rescue squad : bakugo, todoroki, ochako, kirishima, iida, and one stubborn shinso that befriended the hero departments resident nervous wreck

they look across the field and they feel ill because izuku looks sick. but they feel a little better when twice gives him a bit of a hug.

confilcted, but better

they see afo talking to him gently but quickly, gesturing both to the villains and to the section of wall the rescue squad is hidden behind. izuku tearfully points to the wall, afo nods, ruffles his hair, and goes to send him off when all might rockets in

basically afo has looked at izuku and thought "wow he's me but a good person" and thinks he's what his little brother would want a hero to be, so, while he's very much going to continue his villainous thing, he's going to go out of his way to avoid hurting izuku bc this kid is what his little brother wanted OFA to be

and allmight is exactly what he would have hated

so, all might takes a step forward to drag izuku, the villains push him behind them

dabi is basically saying something along the lines of

"so does being in the top ten require you to be a total dick, or is it just a running theme?"

"give him back"

"why all might, izuku is his own person."

"izuku, get over here, now."

izuku lets out a sob and vaults over the villains, hiding behind allmight and all might looks horrifically smug. izuku whispers something to all might, but all might shakes his head (he was asking if he could run away)

the fight begins

a few reasons he won't let him leave:

its punishment for being 'weak' enough to get kidnapped

its backup if afo gets the better of his because hes made sure izuku is more than a force to be reckoned with

he wants to know what dabi ment and hes very read to ask izuku ab it

izuku is honestly shaking like a leaf, quirk going bonkers and he can't turn it off. the rescue squad does its thing, and their hearts break when they see izuku look at them tearfully and shake his head

they all hide in the crowd and cry as they watch the fight go on, izuku shakily pulling people from the rubble in the background. when hes gotten all of the people free he can, izuku kind of runs out of reasons he isnt actively helping allmight. he grits his teeth and dives into the fight with the other villains

hes trying to keep them away from all might and they all look heartbroken ab having to fight him dabi is saying something along the lines of "we know he hurt you, but how? why?" and izuku is just crying

all might can hear this too

izuku actually misses a few kicks and punches bc his eyes are too filled with tears, but the villains are careful not to hurt him too much. they just want to get him down and out of the fight, but as uninjured as possible

but that's a little fucking difficult when compress and kurogiri are down for the count and everyone else has nasty death quirks

eventually, it gets to the point that trying not to hurt the other villains is only hindering afo, and all might is pulling exactly 0 punches with izuku present, so afo teleports the villains away, they feel bad ab leaving izuku behind but there is no way this little hero would go with them. they know that now

afo goes to deal the final blow to all might, izuku just moves

cant stop himself from planting himself between them and trying desperately to catch the punch. hes hurt, badly. but he's not as dead as all might would have been

there is a vicious edge to all might’s smile as izuku is blown across the battlefield, and lays there w/o moving

afo feels sick, all might just looks pleased

"ive done pretty well wouldn't you say?"

afo just stares at him

"ive created the perfect hero. selfless down to the last breath, filled with overwhelming power and determination."

"he's flawless. isn't he."

afo wants to gag

"so, in creating your 'perfect hero', you find it acceptable to sacrifice your own humanity?"

"absolutely"

(all mights been small might for this conversation i just forgot to mention it l m a o )

they exchange their final blows

izuku shakily gets up from where he lays crumpled on the ground and staggers over to all might, where he stands victorious over afo

iida, todoroki, shinsou, Bakugo, the people who have seen what yagi has done to izuku and how he has treated him are now slapped with the realisation that the number one hero and the person hurting their best friend are one and the same

shinsou punches a wall, bakugo looks like he's about to be sick. iida and todoroki look shell shocked. ochako is just lost and confused

all might wraps izuku is a hug, where izuku hides his sobbing face. all might whispers something in izukus ear, not that the cameras can pick it up

"come on now, heroes don't cry."

izuku takes a breath, wipes away his tears and steps back. All might rests a hand on his shoulder and looks into his eyes, and loud enough for the cameras to pick up and announces

"you're next."

izuku nods solemnly

in the back of a conference room, vlad watches as aizawa goes deathly pale in realisation. at ua, nezu watches on with a degree on concern. at the hospital, the clueless members of 1A cheer. those who know more feel nervous, those who know the most feel sick.

the internet goes fucking bonkers. all might transformed, defeated a crazy villain, and literally declared his successor live on television

izuku and all might end up in the same hospital room, and all might,,, allmight.. ye.

anyway, the kids from the rescue attempt call aizawa over and over and over. every teacher, student, pro

any hero of ua staff they have anyway of contacting, begging to find out where izuku is right now. aizawa would tell them if he wasn't going exactly the same thing himself

eventually recovery girl calls him and he hightails his way over. fyi inko isn't there bc shes passed out drunk at home uwu

he bursts into the hospital room with as much dignity as he could possibly have and it's not really very much. doctors are hovering around, stitching wounds, taking blood, and watching an ecg pretty closely (they felt the room for a minute and izukus started going crazy, so they thought something may have happened to his heart)

the amount izuku perks up when he sees aizawa is heartbreaking he rushes over and immediately starts looking him over, apologising and telling him he's brave and that he's sorry he couldn't be there to help and izuku tears up. all might is glaring a hole in his back but aizawa doesnt give a shit right now, his kid basically go taken by the boogeyman and his unstable son, then has a target painted on his back on live tv. aizawa gives 0 shits ab all might right now

izuku just looks stunned, and then he lets out a watery giggle

"you shaved, sensei."

and aizawa is caught between crying and laughing. gently asks izuku if he can give him a hug, and izuku looks so shocked he was asked aizawa heart breaks again. izuku nods shyly and gets a Good Dad Hug

aizawa stays until izuku falls asleep, then he rounds on all might

“I don’t know what you’ve done to him, but he looked more afraid to be stood next to you than a man who has killed countless. Whatever you did, you won’t be doing it again.”

All might goes to say something, anything, but aizawa grabs him by the front of his hero costume

Aizawa tells him in no uncertain terms that he’ll never be alone in a room with izuku again for as long as he lives.

And with that, he storms out, leaving all might to stew.

#bnha au #bnha #dont praise the all mighty #aizawa shouta #midoriya izuku #all might #eraserhead #izuku #shinso hitoshi #bakugou katsuki #AFO #David Shield #melissa shield #todoroki shouto #uraraka ochako #Iida Tenya #midoriya #villain all might #tw child abuse

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melvillaa · 3 years

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An Ode to 2020

Not really sure why I’m awake right now. If this was pre-marriage, I would have taken out my laptop to start typing, but it’s not and Bri is knocked tf out, so here we are. I guess this is the ode to 2020 post that I’ve been meaning to annotate for a while now.

This has been the most transformative year of my life. So many changes in more ways than one. Way more ways. Try like 20. A lot of crying (which I never do.... or maybe i just don’t admit to, lmao), a lot of introspection, a lot of uncomfortability (is that a word?), and a lot of change. A whole lot.

The year started off with optimism and ended with the same notion. Full of hope and wonder for the year set before me, I couldn’t wait for 2020 - it was supposed to be the year all my dreams came true.. and in a weird way, it was! It was the year I got married to the love of my life(!!!!!!), reached 5 years at my corporate job, relocated to a new home in a new city and area code. It was all that - but it wouldn’t be my life if it wasn’t that, plus a little pizzazz, lol.

It’s hard for me to give myself grace. Truly I think I am the hardest on myself. Always empathetic of others and their experiences, but always giving myself the short end of the stick. Living in a pandemic has been wild - but living through my huge life changes in the middle of a pandemic has proven to be even more wild. As a person who doesn’t necessarily love change, I��ve struggled to give myself grace in the midst of the huge life changes I’ve experienced. I’m damn proud of how far I’ve come and how strong I’ve been to withstand the trials that I battle without me really saying a word to a single soul. As a person, me typing this stuff out is me telling the world my story - even if no one reads it. This year changed my life.

Marriage.

I became a wife and entered the covenant of marriage. It really is true that you enter into a marital bliss that is full of love you don’t experience until you get married. It’s unlocking a next level of your relationship and discovering a new version of yourself ... yourself plus another human. There really are different levels of love that you are surprised to find out that you are capable of. It’s different than just being in a relationship with one another. Now we’re bound to each other under a different covenant - before the eyes of God, our family, our friends and the law. It’s weird filling out paperwork and realizing that legally I am no longer a Villaflor. Well technically I’ll always be a Villaflor (Melanie Rose Villaflor Argamaso to be exact, okurrrttttt). I stepped into this role of being a wife and all the “responsibilities” that came with it and also fully embraced the fact that I have a person to do life with who loves me more than himself, who is always thinking of me, always taking care of me, always looking out for me, and who genuinely takes responsibility for me. It’s weird. It’s things I knew of during our relationship, but in marriage it’s somehow personified.. magnified. Marriage is so cool. Maybe it’s cool for me because there’s been such an emphasis and importance placed on it ever since I was a little girl. Bri and I didn’t have the “modern relationship” where we lived together prior to marriage. Yea we slept over and had our own respective places, but to really enter into marriage where everyday it’s me and you, and we have a whole ass home and life together is really wild. I love it. Doing life with Bri is me truly seeing that this man really would give me the world if I asked for it. Anything I could ever want or need, he fulfills it. Everyone always asks me what I’ve learned about him since we got married, or what’s something new about Bri that I’ve discovered ... one thing is that this man and his hobbies are unmatched, bro loves him some cars, any moving vehicle really, lmao. But mostly, I see his heart. He always wants the best - for me and for himself and anyone he cares about, sometimes to a fault when he can’t attain perfection but so badly wants to achieve it. But most times he can .. and then some. I’ve never met someone so naturally good at so many things. Tactically advanced, street smart as hell, a risk taker with the ability to fix just about anything, a people person with an infectious personality who could probably resell a piece of lint if he had to. We’re a family now. A little family of two but we’re both at a place where we really wouldn’t mind unlocking another level of love if it were time to. (He asks me for a “grey” from @greyandmama on IG almost weekly 🥺🥴😂).

Wedding.

It seemed like I waited so, so long for our wedding - for it to come and go like the wind. But instead of a nice sea breeze, it came and went like a tropical storm (... literally 😂but more on that later!) I remember being so excited on New Years Day at the start of 2020 ... the anticipation of our wedding in the next five months and really the start of all of our wedding festivities would begin within the next month ... or so I thought.

I remember hearing about the coronavirus making landfall in the US around the holidays in 2019 and it was already steadily spreading across the US, but not quite as widespread as it currently is. I was going on a work trip to Florida towards the end of January and I remember wearing a mask in the airport and on the flight and I conducted my usual Lysol-ing of my entire space. Everyone was looking at me like I was insane but I really didn’t care, haha. A flight attendant asked me why I was wearing a mask and I replied that I just wanted to stay healthy for my family. (...Still true, lol.) I had no idea at this moment how significantly the coronavirus was going to disrupt our world, how normal mask wearing would be, and how disinfectant wipes would soon be the most prized commodity in 21st century homes.

February came like a rush - I started designing our wedding invitation suite which was something I had literally dreamed about. I had a vision from the very beginning and new exactly how I wanted everything to look down to the postage stamp. It reinforced a love for stationery design that I knew I had, but damn was I proud of the finished product. I was so meticulous about everything - from the fonts I used, the colors and hues of the paper, the thickness of the paper, the envelopes, the ink I used. It was so intricate, but it was the most fun I ever had while designing something. It didn’t feel like work at all, but it was pure love that I poured into those invitations. Bri’s bachelor party happened in early March and my bachelorette in Chicago (!!!) was supposed to happen at the end of March. The boys went to Jacksonville, Florida and were able to stay with Bri’s old roommate, Ace in his beautiful home. Coronavirus cases were on the upswing, especially in Florida and Atlanta. I was so freaked out. N95′s were no where to be found, but since Bri is a painter, he was able to score some through work. He wore one on the flight and literally got light headed due to lack of oxygen, lol. He had the time of his life in Florida while I poured my whole self into our invitations, lol. And as soon as the boys got back, the US started to shut down.

Everyone began to work from home and businesses started closing up shop. Star couldn’t make it to my bachelorette, so she schemed her way into getting me to pole dance with all the girls, hahaha. It was literally the night before everything was supposed to shut down. No indoor dining or bars were going to be open at midnight the following Monday, so I was super thankful that I was able to have a mini bachelorette experience in our own little backyard.

It was an anomaly to fly anywhere and airports became ghost towns. Each day we got a little closer to my bachelorette and myself and the girls were so excited. Itineraries were made, bickering ensued, flights were purchased, I bought outfits for every outing (... so much white, lol) Literally the only thing left for us to do was to actually fly to Chicago. Probably a week to a week and a half before we were supposed to fly out, Chicago issued a stay at home order and everything shut down. We had to make the difficult decision to cancel my bachelorette trip to Chicago and try to rebound and think of a plan B. The girls were so gracious. I’m so thankful for all the work they put in to try and make things work out for me. We tried to do a weekend trip to Ashville, NC but everything was so risky and there was so much unknown at this point. Covid mandates varied from state to state and things were quite literally changing by the day, the hour even. It just didn’t work out. Till this day I’m sad that I didn’t get to have the full bachelorette experience, but I’m still so, so thankfulI for my friends and the work that they put in to make everything feel as normal as possible.

Home.

Careers.

Relationships.

Ok I’ll reflect on these things later. I’m sleepy, lol.

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jwnbwnjwn · 3 years

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Entry 8 (12.20.2020)

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve posted an entry on here. My last one was back in September, and man a lot has happened since. First off, My sleeping schedule has been messed up for the past couple of days, and in a bit I’ll get to why. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it in any of the last posts but, if I didn’t then my goal for the last couple of months has been to get on a (keto) diet and lose some weight, and I’m here to tell you I still haven’t, I haven’t even stuck to a diet for that matter. The only diet I’ve had has consisted of take out and midnight snacks. Anyways, now let’s get down to business. I went ahead and read my latest blog post before this and I laughed at the fact that I said I was starting a diet, yeah that never happened. Im happily at 160 lbs at the moment (not really happy about it but oh well).

I mean covid-19 is still going on, its kinda spiking then calming down, spiking again, and its just this whole repeating situation. Everyone's still wearing and masks and doing everything to be safe, although I think my towns cases are starting to go down. It is around Christmas time so they’re starting to decorate everything, all the parks and stuff; so hopefully that doesn't spike the numbers up again. When going out though I still have to be careful, I can’t catch covid and give it to my loved ones, and I would rather not make history and get sick.

I guess I should start here. I wish my life was still the same as it was during my last entry. I really do. I wouldn’t have known what I do now and I would’ve just been at peace, happily living my life and struggling with school. I ended up getting a D in that biology course, and dropping that math and history course. Yeah, it was a pretty shitty school year tbh. I’ve never been that lazy and unmotivated when it comes to school but man, this fall year really took a toll on me because I legit did nothing all year. In result of it, my gpa went to absolute shit and down to a 2.8. I now gotta make that up during the summer and try to get it as high as i possibly can. I just finished my second fall semester so I’ve been on Christmas break for about a week now, but honestly this break feels so lazy and gross. I am reading my last entry to see what I can catch everyone up on, as things have changed drastically. I mean my friendships are still fine, I still keep in contact with seatbelt and ice and maria. I keep in contact with them almost daily honestly. About my relationship, thats where I wish things were the way they were three months ago. Without going over too much detail, a girl reached out to me and let me know her boyfriend and Mr. were trading girls nudes again. Honestly hearing this a second time broke my heart, but I really didnt have much of a reaction to it. It hurts every here and there, but I guess im forcing myself to open my heart and forgive and forget so I can go ahead and move on already. Mr. and I are in a certain situation trying to avoid law enf*rc*m*nt so things have been kind of hard recently. He’s been seeing me many times this week just because of the fear itself that one day might be his last time to see me, but I think things are starting to cool down with our/his situation, so hopefully he’s not walking on eggshells too longer, because seeing him worried makes me worried and vice versa. He’s looking into going to therapy and having a closer relationship between him and god, in order to get rid of his old ways and make himself into the better person he needs to become. I can’t really get into details about the situation on here as it legit would be the most dumbest thing I could possibly do, but in result of getting closure about it, he told me he was planning on purposing in the near future, like before 2021 is over - but then he had to go fuck it up and put that on hold. After talking about it we’re going to have to attend counseling once again, but in hopes of fixing our relationship and getting closer again. I love him a lot, I do, but man he is one dumb ass person. I really hope and pray he gets his stuff together, because I really do want to spend the rest of my life with him. I mean, I guess we’re kind of in an awkward part in our relationship, but its honestly because of the situation we’re in, so we just have to work through this and rebuild the trust he ruined. I know he’s going to be going to individual counseling for sure, but I have a feeling that’s just going to turn into couples counseling the way it happened the first time. I hope I can get myself to go into counseling for myself as well, because man, I really do want to work through these issues I have deep down inside of me, but I can’t find the courage I need at the moment - maybe after all of this is done I will. Mr.’s dad is still really sick, but im still praying to god and the heavens above he gets better. I’ve been talking to my dad a lot and my relationship has been improving, while my moms and I’s is kind of going backwards slowly. About those two discord friends, I dont know why I put “crunch” as one of them. I forgot what his first nickname was, but I know it wasn crunch. I mean his name is cesar, so i guess i got mixed up lol but yeah i’m not friends with c*sar and shr*mp anymore. I mean I got really close with him, and I did consider im an important person in my life, until one day I logged onto Discord to see he kicked me out of the server and blocked me, which eventually resulted in everyone from the server blocking me and deleting me off roblox so, I pretty much had no say in it. There wasn't even a reason TO block me, I legit just logged on randomly and was blocked. Although I found out through someone else who was also in the server before he himself blocked me that apparently I was jealous of shr*mp and I guess calling c*sar manipulative got him upset and thinking so he blocked me lmao. Anyways, because of this I dont really play Roblox that often anymore, but instead I watch anime now. Currently waiting on AOT’s new episode releasing today so, thats something exciting to look forward to. I cant wait for christmas just so i can see the look on my siblings face when they see what I got them lol. I also got Mr. a chain bracelet, so I hope he likes it and actally wears it. There’s not really much else except being on eggshells with Mr. and wasting my life away. I’ll keep you guys updated. I’ll try to post on here more often.

Ended this at 12.20.2020 at 8:27 AM

-jen

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