#lmfaoooooo this is cracked

[erwinsvow]

PLEASEEEE can u show the time where reader caught rafe punching the squishmallows that really sent me

"don't laugh, okay?" you say it softly, right outside the door to your bedroom.

"why would i laugh?" rafe’s asking seriously, but you're already a tiny bit embarrassed of what lies on the other side of the door and you're unsure how rafe will react.

"it's, like, a third of the size of your room-"

"shut up and open the door."

you sigh, turning the handle and pushing to let yourself in first. rafe follows, staring around the tiny room observantly. his eyes flicker from corner to corner, taking it in. you stand to the side patiently, playing with your hands, in particular the ring rafe had just gotten you, fiddling and twisting it repeatedly.

he walks around for a second, stopping at your bookshelf to take a look at the titles on the shelves and then moving on, staring at the photos on the wall and then sniffing a stray candle on the nightstand. he finally stops at your dresser, glancing over the lotions and perfumes littered on top to stare at the framed picture of the two of you perched right in the center, odds and ends he's gotten you in the last month scattered around.

"so?" you question quietly, eyes big.

"which drawer's got your panties?"

"rafe! shut up."

"it's a cute room. why'd you get so worried?"

"i don't know. habit." you settle on the bed, bringing your biggest squishmallow onto your lap, holding it in your arms comfortingly. rafe's still looking around.

"always had one favorite color, huh?"

"yes," you admit, squeezing the stuffed animal harder. rafe finally comes to join you on the bed, gesturing to the squishmallow as soon as he does.

"what the hell is that?"

"this is ricky. he's a clownfish. he has a career, i just can't remember-"

"huh?"

"they all have jobs and hobbies, rafe. the squishmallows. i think he's an underwater singer or something."

"you sleep with that huge thing on the bed?"

"every night. when i'm here, at least. i should get one for tannyhill!"

"don't know about all that." he takes it into his hands, moving it around, observing it from all sides. "every single night?"

"yeah. why?"

"nothin'."

the conversation changes to the books on your nightstand, and you forget all about the squishmallow resting on your bed until you step out to get a cup of lemonade for rafe.

walking back in, you wonder if you put enough sugar in, when you open the door to see rafe smacking your squishmallow with his right hook, right to his little face.

"what are you doing?!" it spills out before you can stop it, the lemonade almost falling out of your hand.

"look at the dent. how does it go back to how it was?" he questions, while you look over at him, horrified. "what's inside it? feathers, or some shit?" he looks over to get an answer, when he looks at your distraught face.

"what?"

even when he sleeps over, he's never allowed to touch your squishmallow again.

#lmfaoooooo this is cracked #enjoy babe love u <333 #I used Ricky the clownfish as an example since that’s the one I have!!!!!! #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader

[soullessjack]

truly don’t think soulless heaven tool jack was utilized to his fullest potential. he should’ve caused someone’s eyes and mouth to telekinetically sew up until they were blinded and suffocated under the pretense that “snitches get stitches”

#and other such silly phrases and superstitions #if anyone stepped on a sidewalk crack he instantly snaps their moms spine too #spn #supernatural #jack kline #soulless jack #spn season 14 #spn 14x18 #spn 14x19 #absence #jack in the box #sam winchester #dean winchester #OH MY GOD HE COULD SAY SWORD SLASH TO THE CHEST AND YOURE ON FIRE LMFAOOOOOO #I’m so funny #castiel #team free will 2.0 #tfw2.0 #spn fandom #woe plague be upon ye and he sends a swarm of locusts at yoh

[miekasa]

royalty au wherein one of the palace maids comes to the bedroom door to ask you/levi a question, yet they gasp at the sight of you (knight/queen) kissing levi (prince/knight). then one of you guys just tries to calm the maid and assure them what they saw is okay lol (yet you still ask them to keep it a secret).

PLEASE. I offer you this—the maid is Sasha, who despite some of her quirks, is beloved by you, the staff, and most other people she meets (even the other royalty, whom she accidentally spills red wine on, but with a bubbly personality like hers, she’s easily forgiven). She can be a bit hasty and is known to be very protective over you, even though she knows you have plenty of knights and guards to take care of you—you’re still her princess and she loves you.  

So, when you don’t answer her calls for you from your bedroom door, she’s quick to assume the worst, and enters anyway. She creeps in slowly, picking up the nearest object she sees, a book that’s quite thick and heavy, for defense. When she peeks around into your boudoir and sees Levi’s backside near a wall, and one of your dresses on the ground, she doesn’t wait a moment more—she runs right in there, charging at Levi with the book above her head, “I’ll kill you Sir Levi—you get off of her this instant!” 

Your shouts to stop fall on deaf ears, and it’s not until Levi catches Sasha’s wrists above her head that she freezes. Blinks. Then with newfound vigor kicks him, and if Levi had been any slower in moving, it would have been devastating to his groin LMFAOO. It’s only when she’s calmed down from her murderous streak that you’re able to explain that Levi was not trying to take advantage of you, that... what you were about to do was very consensual even though he’s your knight. That doesn’t stop her from giving him the shovel talk, through which Levi crosses his arms and huffs, but the second Sasha leaves you two alone, you see him smile.  

#anonymous #sasha absolute best girl in the entire world LMFAOO #nah bc she would have bit him if it came to it LMFAOOOOOO #sasha threatening probably the best knight ur kingdom has seen in 100 years w/o fear >>>> #also nobody asked but ive thought of a similar situation w gojo except ur trying #to get him to hide before the maid or whoever finds u and hes like 'i mean theyd probably think im pretty lucky no?' #or consider he's also royalty but nobody knows ur together bc ur families hate eachother romeo and juliet style #and the person calling for u is like... nanami who eventually gets u to crack and just sighs #'ive been working double time to convince every member of ur family that the gojos are decent and that u wouldnt hate them... #and ur telling me youve been running around w the crown prince this whole time.'

[ko2mi]

sometimes i look at my old hq writing n its like wow . i used to love this piece of media so much that it drove me to creation!!! that’s crazy!!!!

#never doing that again but thats crazy #all of it is cringe 2 me but some of it is actually decent considering i barely edited anything TT #2020-2021 me was actually cracked i was posting things with minimal editing (bc i didnt wanna look at it anymore LOL) and just #living with the consequences ????? #paper cranes was pretty good if i do say so myself #esp since i ripped it off my old kpop acc LMFAOOOOOO #anyway mourning kitazura u will always be remembered #briar.chats

[antimnemonic]

You know what’s going on here. Nobody else does, but we do.

#submission #wild arms #LMFAOOOOOO SCREAMS #*voice cracking* #van burace forever

[cvrseduser]

@impishsensei a demandé : "bro, you're not gonna believe this but we are stuck in a time loop and the only way to escape is to let me hit it from the back."

« Nice try, but this back door is closed. »

« I can try the other door, though. Turn around. »

#impishsensei #;;[ answered ] #;;[ ic ] ── * crack #;; [ LMFAOOOOOO ]

[forbelobog]

she skitters off like a raccoon noticing him after he witnesses her rummaging through trash

he pauses. for a long time. for a concernable amount of time. eyes just staring at the rattled garbage can as she all but skitters away.

eventually, captain just shakes his head, and turns the opposite direction, deciding to never revisit this memory again. // @conductbat

#( ( answered #conductbat #gepard just: wow lets never discuss this again #LMFAOOOOOO #please stelle #control yourself for FIVE SECONDS #( ( crack #is this even crack tho

[tonberry-yoda]

Helpful Human - Ramattra

notes: here it is!! the very anticipated ramattra fic from this poll!!! I really love doing these polls, so expect another one today LMFAOOOOOO. but seriously though, thank you all for your patience. I really like this one. it's based off of a voice line that Rama and Baptiste have together that makes me so soft omg. this is a very fluffy fic that makes me very very happy. and jesus, i love making y/n a little omnic doctor, it makes me smile every time! please enjoy this fic and stay hydrated folks! love you all have a killer day <33333

word count: 1,199

No one looked at you the way he did. He looked at you as though instead of him being the predator, you were. He looked at you as if you could hurt him. As if you hated him. His eyes watched your every move and he even jumped when you would made any short, sudden movements.

You didn't want to hurt Ramattra. Hell, you never once thought about harming an omnic. Even during the war, when you were told you had to fight. All you wished was for a way that Ramattra could trust you. Trust anyone in Overwatch.

He wouldn't let anyone near him except any of the omnics/robots of Overwatch, spending most of his time with Zenyatta and questioning Bastion. If he was in the common rooms of the Overwatch headquarters, his eyes would linger on every human with hatred. He would watch as Bastion and Torbjorn would spend time together and Orisa would make jokes with Hanzo. He watched with what you couldn't tell was sadness, jealousy, anger or a mixture of all three.

He refused your help, even though you were the only one in Overwatch that could repair omnics like a doctor, only letting Zenyatta fix his wounds as best he could. Even though Zen knew what he was doing, it wasn't enough. He begged for you to help Ramattra, but you could only do so much.

"I want Ramattra to trust me," you had told Zen as you were cleaning up your studio. "More than anything. But I also know that he has been through hell and back. I can't force him to like me, let alone trust his lift in my hands."

"I understand my brother," Zen said to you. "But if he wants this terrible burden the world has given to him, he needs to allow humans to help. Especially humans like you." Zenyatta gave your chest a little poke and you smiled.

"I can't convince him to trust me..." You started.

"But I can try." You couldn't see it, but you knew Zen was giving you a warm smile.

After that, you didn't think much of the conversation. There was only so much that the two of you could do. You spent your time doing what you were used to doing, fixing up other robots and omnics alike who have seen more than one should.

Echo would come into your office with a smile and a crack in her arm and tell you stories, which always left you with a smile; Orisa would tell you about her past, and what she sees for her future; and Bastion would beep at you with pleasure, showing you what he had found for Ganymede.

You liked what you had, and if Ramattra wasn't a part of it, that was his choice. And that was the way you thought it was going to be for a while.

Until you heard the door to your studio open, the sound of sparking wires enter.

You smiled and turned around in your spinning chair, nearly gasping at what you found.

Ramattra's giant figure stood in front of you, his entire arm torn off with fiery sparks flying off of him, his artificial breaths uneven.

You jumped out of your seat and pointed to a medical bed large enough to fit him in the corner of the room. You didn't panic or rush, you just did your job.

Without a word, you fixed his arm and cleaned up burn marks and mud dusting his mechanical body. And he watched in silence as you mended his body back together, making it feel good as new.

You looked up at him with a smile and asked him to move his arm. "Better?" You asked, looking into his dark eyes.

He nodded at you, moving his elbow and fingers at the same time, seeing not only that they were fixed, but flowed perfectly, like a river.

"Need anything else done? Anything bothering you?" You documented your work on your computer and turned to Ramattra, who cleared his throat.

"No. Everything seems to be fine." You realized that this was the first time he had ever spoken to you and the first time you had ever heard his voice this close to you. It was deep and comforting with what sounded like gravel behind it.

"Well, I'm sorry that happened to you, but you should be good as new."

After a bit of hesitation, Ramattra sucked in a breath. "Thank you." His voice was soft and he looked down at his hands.

"You're welcome." You thought he would leave after that, but he didn't.

You paused and looked at Ramattra, who's eyes were still not on you. "You don't mind that I did that, right?" You asked, your voice kind and curious. "I know it must bother you that I'm a human and all."

Ramattra chuckled softly and looked up at you. "Well, actually, it's not as bad as I thought it would be. A helpful human is a nice change of pace. I feel," he looked up at the florescent lights in the room. "Better."

You smiled at him, but didn't know what to say.

"You know," Ramattra said, looking back down at his hands. "My brother convinced me to come here several times, but I never listened. He was on my butt about coming her now because there was no way he was going to fix a torn off arm."

You smiled. "Zenyatta's a great healer, but I don't think he knows how to weld back pieces of his own body."

Ramattra laughed at you, the roughness of his voice now soft and light.

"I don't trust him with fire at all to be honest," you said, laughing yourself.

That made Ramattra laugh harder and he looked at you with what seemed like a smile as he tilted his head.

"This took me a while," he admitted, sitting in a chair next to yours. He was a giant next to you. "But I'm really glad I came here. I don't know how often I'll be coming in though. I'm still... getting used to things."

"I understand," you told him, giving him the space he needs. "But if anything like this happens, know that I'm here to help. I promise."

Ramattra hums in approval and grabs your hand, placing what would be his lips to it, almost like he just pressed a kiss to your knuckles. You feel your face heat up as his cold fingers glide over your warm ones. He drops your hand and bows at you.

"I'll be on my way then," he says, getting up and walking to the door. "Thank you... for being so patient with me."

"Of course." You watch him walk out of the room, your voice trailing off.

You knew you were blushing, but how could you not. You hoped he would be back, but buried that thought. You don't want him to be hurt again, dummy. So you just sat and thought about what Ramattra had told you. A helpful human is a nice change of pace. You smiled at the thought. You hoped you could be the one to help.

~~~~~

overwatch masterlist | pinned post @tonberry-yoda

#i hope my ramattra simps enjoy this one <3 #writing #fanfic #my writing #<3 #fanfiction #overwatch #overwatch 2 #ramattra #ramattra x reader #overwatch x reader #overwatch ramattra #overwatch 2 x reader #ow #ow2 #ow x reader #ow2 x reader #<333 #stay hydrated my loves

[blackstarchanx3new]

I crack ship them ngl.

OOC for Vio but:

It's REAL funny for me to think he has a creepy obsession with Link.

Steal his clothes and pretend to be him levels of nutty.

You can't escape him Link.

He's literally in your head.

I don't know why that shit makes me laugh.

Probably because I'm mean to Link and think Vio's mentality should shatter like a fragile vase and this has both of those aspects lmfaoooooo.

#crack ship #tw suggestive #suggestive #vio x link #link x vio #vio has lost the plot

[thepixiepaige]

Stoooooooop lmfaoooooo sakuras little voice crack after kotoha is like "you silly bitch just say you'll handle it" (LET PEOPLE TRUST YOU STOP TRYING TO DENY YOU WANT THIS CLOSENESS) and someone calls out the fact that hes blushing and he just SCREECHES and the break and jfjfkalalndjf

#fandom #wind breaker #wind breaker anime

[found-wings]

WELL WHY DIDNT YA SAY SOOOOOOOOOOO

More q!phil WOOOOOO TRUAMA ANYWAY CASSANDRA BY FLORENCE + THE (MOTHERFUCKINGGGGG) MACHINEEEEEEEEEEEEE IS SO HIM RN

quick history- song is utilizing the myth of cassandra, who had been given the gift of prophecy, yet refused it and was cursed to never have her predictions be believed

I'm not in as much of a mood for lyric dissection for this specific song as really its the entirety of it that encompasses the point I wanna make of it fitting to phils character :O other songs have different sections that fit different arcs but this song ? the literal embodiment of his birdhouse arc, more specifically, the clear gaslighting from the federations end and having someone such as phil who is so known for being logical and level headed, be pushed into a path full of questioning his reality and what is and isn't real to him and to others.

the beginning of the song really hammers the point in, the line "I used to see the future and now I see nothing, they cut out my eyes and sent me home packing" is SO SO SO HIM RN. getting the man who has always seen right through every facade displayed in the island. from the federations lies to having ever harmed his kids when the cracks first appeared, to the codes impersonations at the dinner party which he pierced through within seconds of speaking to one. to take that surefire attitude and self awareness he owns and destroy it to its very core with the weeks time he's spent in that damn birdhouse is something so painful and this song reflects that.

the second verse remind me much more of his isolationist ideology being further enhanced with the disappearance of his kids. to him having the world in his bunker with chayanne and tallulah asleep, to the next week having them be gone without a trace, and leaving him lost, needing to create a new purpose and routine to continue on the island just hurts so verymuch haha.

the chorus is the hammer to the nail when relating it to the birdhouse arc as of right now. it almost feels as if he's calling out to the federation for an answer to everything he's been experiencing due to their intervention in his mind, leaving it shattered and in fragments and full of doubt towards his own memories. "every song I thought I knew, I've been deafened to, and there's no one left to sing to" is the real star here when it comes to them taking away his children and leaving him with nothing left to turn to in order to ground himself. anytime he went through something harsh, his children were right there to help- but now he has nothing. isolating himself from the rest of the island has come back to bite in the ass when it leaves him with little heart to heart connections he can turn to for emotional support ;-;

the next verse is a bit less connected, but the part about complaints being taken to the lord while trying to look with a wonder to the world with roses in bloom and riot vans in view? very much attaching this to people within the island (ofc mainly phil) taking their complaints to the 'lord' with the lord here being cucurucho. knowing that any cries they have will be left not only unheard, but ignored as the feds are the one causing all this pain to happen. can't connect it as well now but the other lyrics r so him and tallulah trust trust I'm running out of time to write LMFAOOOOOO

ANYWAY AAAAAAAA JUST GONNA SHOVE THE SONG OUTRO HERE BUT

Take me back

Oh, drunken gods of slaughter

You know I've always been your

Favorite daughter

Well, can you see me? I cannot see you

Everything I thought I knew is falling out of view

And if I run fast enough, could I break apart

As empires crumble and cathedrals flatten in my heart?

not even gonna lie, it's clear to me how this fits his arc rn, but I wanna go a step further and say how while listening to the song, I realized that this part fits all the avians of the island. quackity, baghera, jaiden, and phil all being targets of the federation and being fucked with to another degree is so perfectly encapsulated in this outro to a way in which I cannot describe and that's not just bc I'm busy 💀💀💀💀💀💀 whatever u get the point anyway WOOOOOO BRAINROT I LOVE THIS FUCKING BIRD - 💿

I am finally listening to this and HELLO??? ANON??????

THIS MAN!! THIS FUCKING BIRD MAN AND HIS LORE RAAAAH

You are so right in how well this song fits Phil especially in the Birdhouse arc and I‘m so RAAAH RATTLING YOU AND THE SONG

There‘s so many parts where I‘m just, so normal about hearing and my favorite part of this is definitely the

"In this blindness I‘m condemned to

Well, can you hear me? I cannot hear you

Every song I thought I knew, I‘ve been deafened to

And there‘s no one left to sing to"

THAT PART IS SO GOOD RAAAH

ALSO ANON YOUR TASTE IN MUSIC IS >>>>>

This song is so good and so so painful when connecting it to qPhilza AJAJAJ

#the federation birbs my beloveds #qsmp #qsmp philza #💿 anon #winged.rambles

[autisticlancemcclain]

i need you to know that i unironically say "cracked in the head" bc of that vegas klance fic

LMFAOOOOOO NO WAY

#join me!!!! i say that shit unironically all the time #ask

[dutchvanwinkle]

i have recently fallen back into my rdr2 obsession, and dutch loving. babes idk what you put into "mr van der linde" but its like fucking crack to me and i am not okay😭

Lmfaoooooo I'm screaming, it's full of delusion and toxic behaviour glad you like it babe 🫶

#ask #anon

[jihopesjoint]

nicki babe you have me cracking up with your reblogs. STOP BEING SO REAL OMFG I CANNOOOOT 😭😭😭

LMFAOOOOOO LATI 😩😩😩 i have to cope in this way otherwise i’d be in tears at my desk at work and that’s FUCKING embarrassing!!! just tryna get through this fucked up day

also how did you know that being told i’m funny is my favorite compliment??? i am nothing without my humor

#i’m dead without my humor in fact #but i gotta be the voice of the people 🫡 #lati

[mangoposts]

I don’t even watch sturniolo triplets but my friend does and she talks about your page so I checked it out and I’m obsessed 💀The confessions you get sometimes crack me up bruh

LMFAOOOOOO This is lit check out the triplets tho fosho

#🥭

[jimimn]

how to explain that i wouldn't have money to buy a livestream AT ALL but i'm a bit sad because i know that weverse will crack in the first 10 min? maybe 5 😭

LMFAOOOOOO yeah that's... something i didn't realize 😭😭😭😭 bye I'm having ytc in busan and hobipalooza and joon festa live flashbacks JFKFIDLDJDJ. hope they fix themselves and I can watch my jungkook smoothly without lag weverse pls 😭😭😭😭

#anonymous #replied