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frostironfudge · 1 year

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Baby, Keep Those Off - Bucky Barnes

Summary: based on this request by @angieptt 'I was wondering how would Bucky react to listen to you mention about you being insecure walking around the house without pants on even though you love it but hate your body at the same time, and last time you mentioned something your last partner said "to me you are okay" , the last word breaking you and confirming in your head you are disgusting and not desirable even "when they love you".'

Word Count: 1.5k

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, you are responsible for your media consumption. fluff, angst, reader is insecure as stated in the summary, bucky comforts reader, insecurity over body mentioned, mild smut, allusions to implied future smut, also it's their first valentines together, they got together a year ago just after valentines day (basically last week of feb 2022 for reference incase their timeline is confusing), oral f receiving mildly described, bucky is a starving man, also bucky on his knees a delicious sight.

A.N. 1: thank you so much for sending in this request! i hope you enjoy what i came up with!❤️ i didn't go into a lot of detail into the insecurity because this is something i struggle with too and i didn't want it to get too much for me, i'm glad you sent this in though because mr. barnes knows how to take care of his girl 💖

Main Masterlist || AO3

Dust specks dance in the bright sunlight peeking through the blinds. The bed is warm yet cold. The sheets carry only your body lotion’s scent. The soft sheets nor do the blankets envelop you as you crave this morning.

You miss the warm arms sleepily pulling you closer, lips slightly chapped that brush against your shoulder and neck. The stubble that draws laughter with your first breath when he nuzzles into you. The sleep laden smile that is whispered against your forehead. Cedar and amber surrounding you, grounding you.

Unfortunately away on a mission leaving you pulling the pillows closer, burying your head into the piece of clothing that isn’t holding your favourite scent. Sighing against the pillowcase.

The alarm clock has you know the date, it stares at you mockingly. Lifting up your phone does uplift your mood. A plethora of messages from the man who graces your lockscreen wearing the cat ears from the winter funfair you went to on a date for new years eve.

You remember the laughter bubbling from your chest and Bucky’s scowl turning into a grin, the way he pulled you close, as snowflakes fell on your shoulders and hair as he kissed you senseless before stealing your phone from your back pocket and squishing his cheek to yours to take a picture. It had been your matching lockscreen ever since that night.

Bucky: Happy Valentine’s Day, my doll, I’m on the quinjet and you have me for the whole day, not sticking around for debriefing (don’t let the team know)

Bucky: i know you’re sleeping, can’t wait to come back into bed with you just wanna hold you close and maybe let my hands wander

Bucky: definitely let my hands wander.

Bucky: I miss you doll. Counting down the hours to celebrate our first valentine's day.

You laugh, sending him messages right back.

You: Happy Valentine's Day, Bucky. Counting down the minutes till you get home. Can’t wait to feel your hands wander, maybe I could wear the gift I got.

You: I even brought a backup in case you rip the first one.

You: Yes there are two. Lacy and very pretty.

You know he has no option while on the quinjet, but teasing Bucky had its perks that led to a delicious ache between your thighs. Skin warming you roll out of bed, Bucky’s oversized shirt caresses your thighs and you chuckle as you spot the typing dots appear.

He was letting your house sit since Alpine needed someone to be there. You smile thinking about how you met him just in the last week of february last year and now he’s yours to love and cherish.

When you exit the bedroom, flower petals trail from the door to the living room. You pause. Your phone chimes.

Bucky: Well, your early gift should be ready despite being a little tease. Go on see it.

Giddy with excitement the walk to the living room is even shorter as you round into the room a gasp leaves you. Bucky stands there with a bouquet of flowers in hand. Breakfast arranged on the table. When you look back from the table to Bucky his eyes are on your legs.

Oh shit, shit, shit.

He was not supposed to see this apart from when you two were getting intimate.

Bucky traces his eyes over your limbs, his shirt being very lucky this morning. Well luckier than him. His lips part to declare his admiration before you scurry back. He frowns.

“Doll?” His feet carry him in strides to you.

“I’m, I’m putting on pants, I thought–, I know it isn’t that good of a thing to see…”

He catches the door in time before you shut it, “What do you mean? This is honestly,” He just stares at your bare legs again, licking his lips, “Doll, fuck, is this how you roam around when I’m not home?”

“I, um,” Your fingers gripping the sweatpants halfway up your legs and you look everywhere but at him, twisting your fingers you try to find the words, “I don’t like how pants feel… for the most part… sometimes I don’t like how…” you pause, the day would be ruined.

“So you mean to tell me, I could have had this glorious, gorgeous, and fucking beautiful sight greet me everytime I’m home?” He pushes the door open wider.

Your cheeks heat, “B-Bucky you don’t have to say that, I know it’s just okay.”

His brows furrow at your voice growing quieter.

Bucky walks over to you cradling your face, “Doll?” your eyes meet his, he’s smiling. Softness and tenderness wrap around your heart at his loving gaze, “Doll, you look absolutely beautiful and I don’t need you wrapped up in lingerie to appreciate the beautiful woman I have and call my girl.”

You smile at his words, “But sometimes I don’t think I look good like this.” your admission is met by his lips brushing over your forehead.

“Doll, some days with our bodies are hard, but you know how you remind me to love my body and be kind towards it? Thank it for getting me through so much?” He rewards you with another forehead kiss when you nod.

“I’m right here to remind you to be kind and loving towards your body. Maybe even give a physical demonstration to allow me to thank your gorgeous body.” He laughs when you swat his chest lightly.

“It will be a long road or a short one, it's different for everyone. I’ll be there for you, every step of the way.” He promises.

The crack in your confidence fills in the slightest, he was right it would be a while before you’d be fully confident, “Thank you for saying that, Bucky.”

“I hope you know I’m not just saying that, I believe it, and we’ll work on it so that you won’t have to depend on me to make you feel confident, you will be confident from within.” He assures, you kiss his cheek.

“But I want you there to be jaw dropped each time I’m without pants roaming around our place.” You let the hope for a future with him slip.

“Trust me Doll, all my blood went to my dick when I saw you. I had this whole cute speech planned and it all flew out the window. I was tongue tied. I still am but thats only till I look at those fucking gorgeous legs again, want them wrapped around my head.”

You bite your bottom lip, “Really?”

“Baby, keep those off. That is my gift for this year and the next several years.” He smiles as he affirms his own want for a future with you, “And if anyone made you believe otherwise then I’m going to change your belief today. Also then track down and beat the shit out of them for making my girl feel underappreciated and made doubt her beauty.”

Bucky moves his hands from your face, grabbing your hips, in a fluid motion you’re propped up against the door, legs wrapped around him and you can feel his hardness. Your sweatpants are a forgotten article and thought.

“No panties too? Fuck Doll.” He groans, the fabric rubs deliciously over your folds. Your whine goes right to his cock, “You aren’t wearing pants or panties at home anymore.” He groans, lips latching onto the exposed skin of your chest, his flesh hand rubbing the flesh of your thighs.

“Bucky–,” you moan as he nips at your skin, your legs tightening around his waist. He undoes all the buttons of the shirt.

“Can’t waste a drop, Doll.” Your legs are placed down, Bucky kneels, eyes darkened he stares at you like a man starved.

Your right leg over his shoulder your fingers move to his hair as he stares at your dripping cunt. The sight of him turning feral only sends thrums of arousal through you, your need for him increasing.

“I’m going to show you exactly why the sight of you just in a shirt is fucking magnificent.” He kisses your inner thigh, licking his way to your folds. He kisses your aching clit then hums in delight.

You ask for more of him needily.

He pulls away, looking back up at you with those darkened eyes and glistening lips and chin.

“You don’t mind that I’m skipping breakfast for my dessert right?” He smirks when you glare at him.

“James,” Your angered tone turns breathless as his mouth returns to devour you.

He moans against your folds, palms digging into your flesh. Oh you weren’t leaving the apartment as he had planned, he’d stay right here and worship you, hear you only remember his name.

-x-x-

A.N. 2: he's a menace. bucky is a menace. also happy valentines day to all you lovelies!!

bucky permanent tags: @slutforsexyseabass

permanent tags: @stevesmewmew @pandaxnienke

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icedmatchatae · 1 year

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Glimpse of Us | KTH (Series)

Pairing: Problematic Idol Taehyung x Grad Student Reader

Genre: Idol AU, Ex-Childhood Best Friends into—, Angst (Hello, welcome to my angst central), Fluff (mainly in the flashbacks), Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

Summary: BTS's V has been living a lavished and successful lifestyle, but underneath all of that, Kim Taehyung is far from the perfect image the media and fans made him out to be. All he wants is to relive the feelings of happiness and purpose in his life, but how can he when he left behind those memories years ago? The same memories, he hopes to see a glimpse of.

Warning: TRIGGERS - Mentions of Drugs/Drugs use, alcohol consumption, violence (fighting), toxic relationships, unhealthy coping mechanisms, infidelity, unrequited love?, mentions of depression and anxiety, brief mentions of social anxiety (oc somewhat has it), descriptions of panic attacks, mentions of death/minor character deaths, descriptions of therapy/scenes within therapy sessions, a ton of flashbacks, financial instability, buckets of crying, the slowest fucking burn you'll ever come across, sexual content (but not too sexy bc this isn’t a naughty fic >:-|) poor OC is caught up in a lot of mess and all she wants is to have a better life, tae is a bit of a dick and a walking red flag but he just wants to be better :--(, they're both sad in their own ways, each chapter will have their own warnings and they will be presented at the beginning of the chapter

Word Count: TBD (21 chapter total)

Update Schedule: There is none! Posts are sporadic, but I do try to post at least twice a month…however, if I’m busy, I will keep you posted on a possible time frame.

A/N: A little bit inspired by Glimpse of Us by Joji because I couldn't get the song out of my damn head and it’s my top song of 2022 😭. I made my own spin to it, let’s see how well I execute it lol I’ve been preparing this for a while. This is my biggest project yet! I’ve been planning this since the summer even if I’m not done writing the whole thing I’m kinda nervous about posting this

I’ll also cross-posted this originally on AO3 as well! Enjoy~~~

Chapter List

I. Finding Happiness

II. The Story of You and Me

III. Blue

IV. Everything We Didn't Say

V. Same Old, Different New

VI. Why I Love You

VII. The True Reality

VIII. Please Don’t Break It

IX. Hear Me Out

X. You’re All I Need (Coming Soon)

#taehyung x reader #taehyung fic #taehyung fanfiction #kim taehyung x reader #taehyung smut #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #kim taehyung fanfic #kim taehyung #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts smut #bts x reader #matcha masterlist

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discluded · 1 year

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MileApo and the rise of Thai soft power

Mile and Apo talking about the Thai period film at the Vogue Thailand Gala on 2022/9/21

I've been meaning to sit down and write about this for a while now, ever since I saw the pattern of Mile and Apo injecting it into their talking points about the 2023 historical film, but it's taken some an effort to actually lay it out. Hopefully the time I sat with it will make the it a more insightful, rich reading experience.

Disclaimers:

(1) I have no formal experience in international relations aside from reading and watching the news, but my strong point is research. Folks with a more formal backgrounds in policsci or IR are welcome to add their input!

(2) Comments about policies or political actions of nations, whether positive, neutral or negative, are not meant to reflect on private individuals of the nationality, even those with a notable amount of social-cultural capital. Private individuals, despite their positions of social influence, most often have little to no individual influence on a policy level**.

So without further ado:

What is soft power? (aka soft power for dummies)

Joseph Nye, a then-Harvard professor, coined the term soft power in the 1980s/early 90s. He described it as:

“A country’s ability to influence the preferences and behaviors of various actors in the international arena (states, corporations, communities, publics etc.) through attraction or persuasion rather than coercion.”

In his book Bound to Lead, Nye established that three prongs of a country's soft power were its culture, its political values, and its policies. Here are two different graphics that further break down what those look like when evaluating soft power in practice.

If you feel like all the above is still vague to the point of unparsable in an applied context, I spent the majority of the time researching how to demystify the term especially in the way MileApo discuss it, and found this great explainer:

A strong nation brand and positive soft power perceptions allow a nation to promote itself as a place for people to visit, invest in, and build a reputation for their quality of goods and services. [...] it is often overlooked that a strong nation brand and soft power can deliver better outcomes at home. Primarily it encourages domestic tourism, the consumption of domestic goods and services (rather than imports). Less tangibly it also just makes people feel better about their country.

Expressed in this context, soft power can be understood as the act of building trust in the cultural products of a nation domestically -- some more abstract in the form of art (music, film) and culture, some more concrete like products including fashion and beauty -- in a manner to appeal to its own citizens while also broadening the appeal of cultural goods abroad in a which can drive international tourism, trade, and commerce.

In other words: yes, our collective desire to actually taste Farmhouse bread.

The Thai government and the push for soft power

While my interest in this topic was originally piqued by MileApo's comments, soft power policy has to originate at the government level. Note again that Nye's definition of soft power is centered around "a country’s ability to influence", therefore soft power policy must always formally be expressed nationally.

Around the time MileApo consistently began promoting soft power in alignment with the period film, I noticed a slew of references in Bangkok Post, one of the reputable English online publications based in Thailand.

Back tracking through some of the articles as a reflection of national conversation, since 2020, there has been a consistent theme in terms of what the government is attempting and how well it's going (or not going):

On Thailand's soft power and positioning in the world, Feb 2020:

According to Kitti Prasirtsuk of Thammasat University, who has carried out extensive research into Thailand's branding and repositioning in the age of interconnectedness and social media, Thailand and its culture, values and foreign policy have charisma and high persuasive power which can attract admiration and cooperation. But the Thai people and bureaucrats must change their mindset and perceptions and appreciate their country in real terms first before they take up new challenges.

Within Asean, Thailand is behind Singapore as No.1 [among SE Asian soft power rankings]. The report stated that Thailand has the potential to rise into the top 30 in the world, if the country can strike the right political balance between the rural poor and urban elite. It went on to say that Thailand's weaknesses are problems related to corruption and inequality. It also said that the Thai government is failing to showcase the full potential of Thailand's rich cultural offerings beyond tourism. One more weak link is its poor performance in public diplomacy and digital infrastructure.

(Mile, Apo, and Bible all attended Thammasat University, which is considered one of the premiere universities in Thailand. Apo later transferred and graduated from a different university.)

On Milli, a Thai rapper who performed at Coachella in Spring 2022:

The presence of the 19-year-old rapper Milli at the Coachella Music Festival in the United States has reinvigorated Thailand's soft power ambitions -- an area the Thai government has not fully explored nor exploited. Milli, whose real name is Danupha Khanatheerakul, is the first solo Thai artist to perform at Coachella, a music festival that draws tens of thousands of fans annually.

[Milli's prescence at Coachella] was able to advance Thailand's soft power [in ways previously stalled]. It is not that the government is clueless about "soft power". For decades, governments have focused on presenting Thailand's soft power to the world. However, that iteration of "soft power" mainly consisted of Thai customs and traditions such as food, costume, classical dance, Buddhism rituals and the wai. These aspects of our cultural heritage, despite being charming to foreign tourists, are not sufficient to catapult Thailand's into a stronger position in the global market. Thai cultural heritage has failed to catch up in the digital age…

Milli's song also includes ideas relevant to international audiences. One of her songs openly discusses sexual consent. Being relevant is one of the keys to increasing the nation's presence among diverse populations. The cultural impact made by a young girl like Milli should make the government rethink its cultural promotion strategy. More support is needed for progressive Thai artists and innovators.

An opinion rebuttable on Milli's performance and the government's blundering of reaching for soft power while not meeting basic domestic requirements:

One of the minister's advisers belted out a long speech that did not seem to address how Thailand will become a "soft power" but used the term multiple times. One can't help but wonder if the ministry knows what it is doing, or what the so-called "soft power" it is espousing is about.

Milli's self-taunting line "I don't ride an elephant" may sound a bit old but her rapping about how "the country is good, people are good, our food is good but the government is bood," seems to have struck a chord. "Bood" means rotten in Thai. It is thus understandable if the government was not too coherent when discussing anything about the phenomenon that Milli created. Indeed, [Thailand's Prime Minister] Gen Prayut should feel awkward discussing the "soft power" of Milli and mango sticky rice when he filed a defamation charge against the teen rapper himself back in June last year.

Talented as Milli is, and extraordinary her achievements both locally and at one of the world's most famous music festivals have been, the teenage rapper really has nothing to do with so-called "soft power" which government figures are talking about. Her success is largely individual. Milli created a sensation and a craze. For Thailand's "soft power" to be built, let alone recognised globally, it takes more than one successful artist…

The whole product must be good if it is to exert influence. As experts argued, it takes a wide range of qualities for a country to say it has "soft power". These include the quality of its political institutions, education, digital development, innovation, cultural appeal, strength in arts or business brands. That is why it is odd for everyone to talk about Thailand's "soft power" now when we don't seem to have ticked any of the basic requirements.

On Bangkok International Fashion Week (BIFW):

BIFW2022 has been [a] major and continuing mission to promote and drive Thai fashion to international levels. The event strategically aligns with the government’s strategy to empower Thai fashion industry as fashion is one of the most influential soft power that stimulate economic growth.

Note that multiple actors in BOC walked BIFW2022 in September, as well as multiple actors from other Thai BL shows that aired in 2022.

On the increasing popularity of Thai BL:

Thai BL is now popular across Southeast and East Asia[, and] has been gaining traction in Japan, the home of BL, since 2020. Posters of famous khu jin were put up in a train station. Magazines that cover Thai drama, including BL, are rolled out for the Japanese audience. The Tourism Authority of Thailand has launched a Twitter account that uses BL to engage Japanese consumers. They are conducting research on these issues in the context of soft power.

Yes you read that correctly. No joke, BL as a facet of Thai soft power is so prevalent now that the government is literally tracking its popularity and Twitter conversation around the topic.

So what does this all mean?

Thailand is a country within Asia and internationally that has a lot of appeal as a tourism destination. However, with many competitor alternatives in both entertainment (particularly film and music) and beauty/fashion, which are major drivers soft power within Asia and internationally, and domestic dissidence of policy and politicians due to social conditions, Thai cultural power is not as prominent as it could be and also suffers at the international level.

While there is appeal of specific Thai cultural products internationally (such as Milli at Coachella or in the case of Kinnporsche the Series) the government has failed to activate these prominent media products as part of a cohesive soft power strategy.

However, the government does seem aware of the potential, specifically in the realm of BL. Thailand has always maintained an image of being LGBTQ-friendly among all the Asian countries, and may now be looking to push LGBTQ-aligned media (BL and GL dramas) specifically as part of its soft power strategy to increase pop culture and media appeal.

MileApo on Soft Power

Part of the reason my ears perked up at MileApo's consistent talking point of soft power is again, because even without a polisci background, I'm aware that soft power is expressed at the country policy level. Thus when both of them started specifically using the term to discuss the film in pre-production phase, it got my brain gears turning.

Mile talking about the film on 2022/9/24 at the D7 Grand Opening (vid/txt)

"Nong Po will act with Hia Mile -- please look forward to this movie next year, please look forward to that a lot. We want to expand Thai culture and soft power..." Apo on the Thai period movie at the KPWT Send off on 2022/9/11

Mile Phakphum's speech on Mother's Day in Kalasin, 2022/8/5

Here's what we do know. Apo's dance training for the film is with a teacher affiliated with the academy that also produces dancers who specifically entertain the royal court.

And here is what they individually said in the Vogue Thailand print interview (completed in late August 2022, published October 2022)

And I would be remiss and dishonest to not point out that Mile's family is prominent in Thailand and his mother is part of the Queen's inner circle. Keep in mind that Thailand is a constitutional monarchy where the monarch has limited powers in practice (think: Japan or UK), and Thailand has a history of cyclical political instability that does not displace the monarchy. So believe him when he says he has limited power compared to Kinn. He travels on a private citizen's passport like all the rest of the cast. (Though my eyes start watering when I'm thinking about baby chaebol CEO Mile and destiny.*)

That being said, what these connections likely did get the production team was access to cultural resources such as the dance expert and most likely credentialed historians to consult on the period film. I would surprised if there aren't ministers' offices who are in the loop about film's production in a way they would not pay to other film or show production teams. I'm sure we will find out more about the interesting and important people involved in the production process around the time the film is released.

Another aspect that stood out to me is the fact that Mile and Apo, neither of whom have policy backgrounds, started iterating the discussion point of soft power in a way you don't see Milli, or Mew Suppassit (who let's not forget was also a RSIFF invitee and the first Thai artist to break into the Billboard World Song Chart), talk about it. Mew actually has talked about soft power a couple of times, but only in the context that he is part of a cultural wave that can increase Thailand's influence globally and never specifically in relation to a project he is promoting. That speaks a lot to the team behind the scenes involved in the writing and consulting (and marketing) process of the 2023 historical film.

The timeline of when these comments popped up is also interesting. While they do coincide with the release of the trailer post KPWT Bangkok, most likely what's happening during this time period is that BOC and more specifically Mile is shopping for sponsors to the project.

Think about Mile speaking about Thailand soft power to an audience of mostly older businesspeople at the mother's day event -- what would the purpose be except an ask for partnership on a project that he is on, which can become a vehicle for Thai products both domestically and globally? Look at the timing of the announcement of the Srichand partnership (end of August), and how successfully that broken the brand into the lucrative Chinese market, moving millions of THB worth of product for a brand that had struggled to get any traction previously. While Srichand's focus is currently on China, working with a Thai beauty brand for a film where the trailer highlighted many historical makeup elements is an actually ideal brand partnership and project alignment.

(Sadly for us, I don't think the film will be the second longest bread commercial in existence. But based on the Farmhouse CEO's comments, I would be unsurprised if they signed on to support the film project too. Ancient Thai bread I guess *jazz hands*)

In Conclusion

MileApo's soft power talking point was an intentional move specifically to shop the film project around for sponsors. The Srichand partnership proved MA-as-a-brand's ability to move product in a lucrative, hard-to-crack foreign market, though Srichand (and Giffarine) as brands aren't necessarily able to stand in the market independently as of yet. Their past brand partnerships' success simultaneously showed how lucrative it is to book MA for a product domestically. I'm sure we'll see a slew of new interesting sponsors and brand partnerships this year. This is only the beginning of MA's power as a cultural brand domestically and internationally.

Mile and Apo have also expressed their pride in the past in being cultural ambassadors of Thailand, both at the RSIFF and when speaking about engaging tourists who are visiting Thailand. Their praise of Thai products (for example, the artistry of Thai silk in the Vogue Th Gala interview) and their active choice to work with mostly Thai brands speaks to their values as businessmen who genuinely want to uplift Thailand's influence in the global market.

That being said, the Thai cultural ministry cannot rely on a single cultural emissary to advance its soft power agenda globally, and as of right now, despite ...some attempts, a cohesive government strategy around soft power does not exist.

MileApo have demostrated their brand has strong impact, and that they can influence purchase behavior internationally (e.g., KPWT ticket sales, Srichand) in ways many Thai media figures have not been able to as of yet. But they are not formally tied to the Thai government, nor should the government intervene and attempt to direct artistic expression.

Culture is one aspect of soft power, and political/humanitarian expression is another major component that advances an international soft power agenda. There are already articles discussing Thailand's problems of political corruption and self/journalistic censorship due to political conditions that prevent full freedom of expression. But that's the government's problem to address that. There is a lot of unharvested potential in multiple realms.

This essay is not about that though. I'm just a fan.

Can it be December 2023 yet 🥺

Additional notes that don't fit into the essay under the cut:

(1) There was a lot of fandom hand-wringing in August and September about Apo publicly having working dinners with Pond over the film project. Let's not forget Mile is someone who cares deeply about the art he makes, and he and Apo both have said multiple times they talk almost nightly about their artistic intent. If Mile talks to Apo and Apo was talking to Pond, why would Mile, a person who cares deeply about art, not be talking to Pond in pre-production? Obviously the answer is a division of labor in the relationship: Mile was working on funding which is just as important, and Mile also needs to sleep and rest and not work. There wouldn't be anyone else he would trust to convey his artistic intent to the director except for Apo. True power couple behavior right there.

(2) * everyday I go feral over baby chaebol CEO Mile. If someone made a kdrama about a handsome chaebol baby who was a CEO but also an actor and model who met his soulmate in university but it was a missed connection and then the soulmate went on to become a famous actor/model who quit because of bullying, but then they met again when the baby chaebol WHO IS STILL A CEO BUT ALSO AN ACTOR met at an audition for a drama... *foams at mouth* I would call this show bizarre, nonsensical and incoherent, and yet HERE WE ARE IN REAL LIFE. The jetsetting supermodel with wealthy CEO part of reality which is now bending around MileApo so they can live their wattpad fanfic life. What the hell am I looking at, I ask myself every day.

(3) ** this statement does not include billionaires like Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos whose net worth exceeds those of small and mid-sized countries. Per today's estimate, ~50 people/families have more wealth than 90 of 190 countries. If your net worth can run the economy of half the countries in the world, then your wealth/resources hoarding behavior can control what the media says and influence otherwise free and fair elections.

Once again, Some of you need some contextualization of how comfortably wealthy vs. billionaire resource-hoarding rich looks like.

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bepoucorp · 3 months

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HEYHEYY… IT’S YA BOI, EDITOR ANON .

I LIKE JUST NOW FINISHED WATCHING THE BATMAN 2022 MOVIE AND HOLY FUCK . I WAS NOT READY . I WOULD SAY MORE BUT I’M LITERALLY LIKE . SPEECHLESS RN . HOLY FUCKING SHIT . I FEEL LIKE THOSE MEMES WHERE THEY’RE LIKE “when you watch a life-changing movie and don’t know what to do with yourself after” OR SOME SHIT . IT IS NEARLY 3AM .

ANYWAYS, THAT IS ALL ! JUST WANTED TO GIVE YA AN UPDATE WITH MY BATMAN MEDIA CONSUMPTION !! *GRAPPLE HOOKS AWAY BUT EXTRA DRAMATIC THIS TIME*

NO LITERALLY!! The Batman 2022, is everything to me! and it made me fall in love with the Riddler! If it weren't for Batman 2022, I would've never had my batman obsession revived!

some really old art from 2022 just for funsies ^^

#i wouldnt draw them like this anymore #but still super cute #ty for askin!#editor anon #the batman 2022 #the riddler #batman #doodle #bepoucorp

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contemplatingoutlander · 5 months

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Falling inflation, rising growth give U.S. the world’s best recovery

The European economy, hobbled by unfamiliar weakness in Germany, is barely growing. China is struggling to recapture its sizzle. And Japan continues to disappoint. But in the United States, it’s a different story. Here, despite lingering consumer angst over inflation, the surprisingly strong economy is outperforming all of its major trading partners. Since 2020, the United States has powered through a once-in-a-century pandemic, the highest inflation in 40 years and fallout from two foreign wars. Now, after posting faster annual growth last year than in 2022, the U.S. economy is quashing fears of a new recession while offering lessons for future crisis-fighting. “The U.S. has really come out of this into a place of strength and is moving forward like covid never happened,” said Claudia Sahm, a former Federal Reserve economist who now runs an eponymous consulting firm. “We earned this; it wasn’t just a fluke.” On Friday, President Biden hailed fresh government data showing that annual inflation over the second half of 2023 fell back to the Federal Reserve’s 2 percent target. Coupled with Thursday’s news that the economy grew by 3.1 percent over the past 12 months, the Commerce Department report showed that the United States appears to have achieved an economic soft landing. The post-pandemic recovery challenged long-standing economic beliefs, such as the idea of an inverse relationship between unemployment and inflation. (As one rose, the other was expected to fall.) Expressed in what economists call the Phillips curve, this nostrum proved nearly useless in explaining the economy’s recent behavior. [...] “Putting money in people’s hands vs. moving around interest rates, which is monetary policy, fiscal policy is going to be stronger,” Sahm said. “We cannot go into the next crisis being, like, ‘Oh, the Fed’s got this.’” Consumer spending is driving the economy: Real consumption rose by 0.5 percent in December, its fastest pace since last January. Pending home sales jumped, too. Following the flurry of good news, JPMorgan Chase economists said they raised their first-quarter growth forecast.

Biden deserves credit for turning the economy around. This was a front page headline article on the WaPo website for a short time on Sunday Jan. 28th. I didn't see anything about this on The New York Times front page website. The mainstream media should do a better job of conveying this good news about the economy. Certainly, the right-wing media won't do so.

#us economy is booming #world economy #biden administration #inflation is coming down #david j lynch #the washington post

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ineffable-opinions · 8 days

Text

BL “Censorship” & Commercialization

Content: 1. ubiquitous censorship - special focus on Japanese BL 2. commercial viability of live action BL & generalizations 3. solutions - special focus on state support of Thai BL

Censorship is a sensitive topic. I have tried my best. Please feel free to comment and critique.

History of Korean BL is one of censorship and commercialization and Korean fu-people has struggled against both. There have been different victors at different points in time. Aljosa Puzar’s "BL"(Boy Love), "GL"(Girl Love) and Female Communities of Practice and Affect in South Korea chronicles that struggle. (Highly recommended.)

I have tried to problematize BL commercialization before. But that was in the context of fu-culture and the commodity fetishism associated with the consumption of BL, particularly in live action form which is probably its most capitalist rendition for many many reasons.

Here I would like to look at it from another angle: censorship. This is a continuation of my earlier post (Why so many shonen ai live-action?) motivated by the live action adaptation of ‘조폭인 내가 고등학생이 되었습니다’ (I, A Gangster, Became a High School Student) by 호롤 (Ho Rol).

The live action has jumped genres switching from BL to 판타스틱 휴먼 드라마 (lit. fantasy human drama). This switch got it tagged as ‘Censored Adaptation of Same-sex Original Work’ on My Drama List. I personally don’t like that tag. Almost all BL adaptation is a censored adaptation, with notable exceptions like Sei no Gekiyaku. But no one uses that tag for, say, 25 Ji, Akasaka de (2024) which censored all sexual content, especially from the volume 1 of the manga which was critical to the story and the couple’s development in the original manga series’ and its multiple adaptations’ popularity. Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (2024) went as far as removing the more sexual second couple from the live action adaptation all together, yet it does not get a "censored" tag.

An interesting question that the controversy surrounding High School Return of a Gangster (2024) has sparked is that of BL media’s commercial viability, especially in live action form. Here’s what producers told the Korean newspaper, Hankook Ilbo, about the genre-jumping:

"BL 장르는 제작비 투자나 리쿱(제작비 회수)에 한계가 있는 게 사실이다. 그러다 보니 처음부터 이 작품은 브로맨스로 해보고 싶었다"

“The BL genre is limited in terms of investment in production costs and recoup (recovery of production costs). So, from the beginning, we planned it as a bromance (beulomaenseu).”

The author of this article cites examples of works that enjoyed success on OTT platforms, namely Watcha’s Semantic Error and TVing's Unintentional Love Story (2023). However, the article also highlights the fact that BL continues to be a niche genre and live action adaptations don’t guarantee success.

이성택 (Lee Seong Taek), the director of High School Return of a Gangster, previously directed the BL Love Class (2022). The producer 넘버쓰리픽쳐스 (Number Three Pictures Co., Ltd.) have BL works like Unintentional Love Story under its belt.

'Unintentional Love Story' Director Jang Eui-soon (장의순) | source

If the producer of one of the two most popular live action BL is admitting to it, then it is not easy to dismiss the issue of commercial viability of live action BL.

Very famous BL publishing houses (starting with JUNE) and hosting platforms with relatively lower expenses have struggled. Some of them are no more. It is also difficult for authors to survive merely on earnings from publishing houses and hosting platforms, especially when those platforms are not very rich. So, it is not difficult to imagine that live action production houses also struggle to survive.

Take GMMTV for example. They are probably one of the most successful BL producers. According to their managing director, BL content (series) is not a profitable business in itself. They rely on khujin (branded pairs) of actors to bring in advertisement revenue, merchandize sales, and pull crowds to concerts and fan-meets. It is not enough for actors to just act. They are expected to sing, dance and perform. Meanwhile, GMMTV is forced to keep working with these actor pairs and stick to templates that suit them. While it works for now, it remains to be seen how long the business model can last.

Now there is also investment from Mainland China that has migrated to other BL producers following dangai ban. But those who invest already burned themselves pretty bad with all the money they poured in during the short-lived but explosive dangai boom. It is sunk cost at this point. Another crack down could be the death knell for Chinese investments in BL.

More generally, it is likely that commercial viability of a live action BL project hinges on the following:

#1 Target demographic

Like all other BL content, live action too is primarily targeted at fu-people (BL audience) – both queer and non-queer. The target demography is further sub-divided based on the type of BL and purchasing power.

Sweeter ones are supposed to appeal to all ages and that’s the area Thailand and GMMTV in particular are focused on. Most of Japanese BL series are sweet. Korea too produces sweet BL. However, they are unlikely to bring in explosive success the way odo BL (those following royal road narrative progression – wherein characters face significant challenges, interpersonal or otherwise, to reach happy ending).

Older and, perhaps more hard-core fans, are likely to support jado works (BL that follow the evil path where neither happy ending nor resolution to challenges are guaranteed) with surprising frequency. This might be partly due to the erotic content in jado works.

Purchasing power of BL fans vary widely. There are those who are

“sending gifts to their actors in Thailand, sending food trucks to their shooting locations, putting up billboard advertisements and doing charity events [as well as] ordering merchandise in bulk.”

They also travel to BL producing nations [on fan pilgrimages] and attend fan meetings, concerts and other events regularly.

(Source: The Print)

The other group of BL fans who are probably younger and/or can’t afford to show support in the above-mentioned ways. BL commercially benefits from being appealing to those with higher purchasing power.

#2 Popularity of original work in case of adaptation

Popular BL novels, manhwa, etc. bring in a set of fans who are interested in the live action. Longer and more-acclaimed works are likely to ensure success of the live action given decent making and reasonable changes during adaptation. Semantic Error is a case in point. However, missteps during adaptation can have the opposite effect.

#3 Cost of production

It is difficult to get investment in the first place, especially with how niche the genre is. Moreover, higher cost of production sets the bar for success higher too.

On the other hand, high production quality and better cast and crew (likely more expensive too) makes the viewing more pleasurable and increases the likelihood of success.

There are other factors which influence the success of BL producers. The most popular BL live action from China, Addicted, was produced by the author, Chai JiDan, with a tiny budget. Its dangai family drama remake, Stay with Me, also has an interesting producer.

Source | Mame with her Japanese fans

Orawan Vichayawannakul’s MeMindY is another BL author led production company that has enjoyed considerable success.

OP Pictures’ entry into BL genre has also been successful.

Solutions

#1 Let’s start with the worst

BL as money laundering vehicle. It is probably the most obvious, sort of win-win until it isn’t. Sustainability depends how much skin the ruling class have in the game.

#2 State sponsorship

(or better yet, tax payer supported BL production)

State sponsorship is what Thailand has perfected.

source | 2023 seminar on "Beyond Borders: Exploring the Global Appeal and Diversity of Thailand's Boys' Love Contents" by 9 companies from Thailand organized by Department of International Trade Promotion under Thailand’s Ministry of Trade.

The eleven speakers, including an official from the Office of Commercial Affairs, Royal Thai Embassy in Japan, vigorously pitched partnerships with Japanese content companies [at the above-mentioned seminar.]

Also, several of the companies pitching at the seminar, such as Star Hunter Entertainment […] were plumping for BL not as a niche product but rather a core element of their corporate strategy.

Halo Productions representative Tewarat Supunnium [trumpeted] the vertical integration of his company, from talent representation to contents distribution.

source

Thai BL has been big hits in China, South Korea, Japan, India, Indonesia, the Philippines, and beyond, which has motivated Thailand’s government to ‘deploy Boys Love as its latest soft power weapon to promote the country on the global stage’. In an article published in The Nation, BL director, Bundit Sintanaparadee, explains how that affects production.

He pointed out that the international popularity of Thai shows can boost tourism and generate interest in the featured locations – a vital aspect of soft power. The government can facilitate this process by providing support and streamlining the bureaucratic obstacles to filming in attractive locations like Bangkok’s Chinatown district of Yaowarat.

Filming in iconic places such as Yaowarat can be costly and complicated due to the need to coordinate with multiple government agencies and pay location fees. Bundit said the government could simplify the process to benefit not just filmmakers but also tourist revenue in the locations.

Bundit also cautioned against a top-down approach to soft power, where the government dictates what represents Thailand on the world stage. He emphasises the need for industry professionals to have their say.

source

In a 2022 article, Bangkok Post explores the impact of BL on Thailand’s economy ‘as export products that can draw lucrative revenue streams and foster business opportunities in other areas, including tourism.’

[According to government estimates from 2021,] Thailand's Y content market was worth more than 1 billion baht... In June that year, the Department of International Trade Promotion held an online Y content business matching event to boost the industry, with the participation of 10 Thai content creators. More than 360 million baht was generated from the purchase of the Thai content, with the top three buyers coming from Japan, Taiwan and Vietnam.

Noppharnach Chaiyahwimhon, GMMTV's senior director of content production, said [that the] business ecosystem linked to Y Series in Thailand shows a growth of 30-40% per year. [He also said that] Y Series can also be a boon for other businesses, such as films, artist management and merchandise. [He mentioned] Y Series from Thailand [getting] translated into several languages [and one of their Y Series having received theatrical adaptation in South Korea.]

[According to] Kanokporn Prachayaset, chief commercial officer and country manager of WeTV Thailand, … Y Series from Thailand is one of the most popular content genres on its platform. [Half of all the BL content on the platform was Thai.] WeTV [was] sourcing Y Series from Asia as well as having its own WeTV original shows by working with various local production houses, such as GMMTV, TV Thunder, Dee Hup House, M Choice Studio and All This Entertainment. [She also highlighted the contribution of the fan base, which is] active in organising activities and campaigns for their idols.

Seksan Sripraiwan, director of the Tourism Authority of Thailand's (TAT) Tokyo office, said the TAT and the Royal Thai Embassy have actively promoted the country by using Thai entertainment [and that] Thai BL content is considered one of the most popular recent cultural exports to Japan. Japan's market for Thai BL is around 1 million viewers, of which 20,000-30,000 are heavily active on social media sites for renowned BL actors, led by Bright-Win and Krist-Singto. He said Japanese tour operators already offered tailor-made tour packages which contain elements related to BL TV series, such as shooting locations like universities, cafes, Wat Arun or the Amphawa floating market.

Kanokkittika Kritwutikon, director of the TAT Chengdu office, said Thai BL TV shows have gained popularity in China, such as the coming-of-age series "I Told Sunset About You", which helped drive tourists to Phuket, the main location of the story.

"Most Chinese BL fans are millennial females who can offer long-term support for their favourite actors," Mrs Kanokkittika said. [Recognizing the 3 million strong queer population of Chongqing,] she said the LGBT segment could be categorised as luxury travellers as they are high-income earners, live in key cities, and want to spend more for travel experiences.

source

Earlier this year Ministry of Commerce have partnered with Be On Cloud and Idol Factory to promote ‘Thai products, services, tourism, and culture by incorporating them seamlessly into’ their new series “Shine” and “Pin Phak” aka “The Loyal Pin” respectively.

“This will help create around 2 billion in value for Thailand’s economy,” said Commerce Minister Phumtham.

Deputy Prime Minister and Commerce Minister Phumtham Wechayachai and two actresses, Becky and Freen, witness the signing ceremony between the Ministry of Commerce and Idol Factory Co., Ltd. on February 28, 2024....

According to the Department of International Trade Promotion, the Thai movie and series sector and related industries will generate 8,000 million baht in exports by 2023. In 2024, it will likely reach 10,000 million baht, particularly in the Y-movie and Y-series, which are expected to expand in value from 1,000 million baht to 2,000 million baht as a result of the Ministry of Commerce’s proactive cooperation with the private sector.

source

The Thai government’s efforts are paying off.

Oramon Sapthaweetham, director-general of the Department of Business Development, revealed that the Boys’ Love series had helped revitalise the film production industry, generating substantial profits and extending economic benefits to allied sectors, such as advertising, leveraging actors as influencers, event organisation, and tourism.

"Over the past 10 years, Thailand has produced over 177 Boys’ Love [series], continuously gaining popularity and expanding its customer base, eventually leading to exports to international markets," Oramon added.

The film production industry in Thailand is witnessing substantial growth. In the first four months of 2024, 56 new businesses were registered, marking a 12% increase from 2023. The total registered capital also saw a significant rise of 146.44% to 195.18 million baht. In 2023, the industry grew by 20% with 137 businesses and a capital of 258 million baht. The total revenue in 2022 was 12.895 billion baht, indicating a continuous growth trend.

source

#3 Diversification

Ok, so this is based on my limited knowledge and imagination. Feel free to skip.

There are two production companies that I have ever been interested in - Bhavana Studios and Mammootty Kampany. Both of them have produced experimental Malayalam movies while managing to remain commercially successful. While is partially attributable to these companies being brands, I think their overall strategy of diversification have worked in their favour.

Mammootty Kampany could produce art-house movie Nanpakal Nerathu Mayakkam for award circuits and with no expectation of commercial performance by banking on their other production Kannur Squad which was action entertainer sure to bring in the big bucks. Their queer family drama Kaathal – The Core and neo-noir psychological thriller Rorschach did exceptionally well in the box office as well as garnered critical acclaim. Bhavana Studios has similar track record of their commercially successful projects kind of cross subsidizing their experimental and unique projects and lifting the heat off in case of flops.

Having production companies which are aspirational in their approach to BL while having the economics sorted out help where government support is not forth coming.

Censorship as No-thing

When sometime is truly censored, we wouldn’t know. Unless we ask. Here’s what Jooyin Saejang learned from asking.

Conclusion

I have a strong preference for live action adaptations that are willing to go the last mile in terms of sexual content, social critiques and addressing real-life issues. That’s the reason why the header image for this BL side blog is from Moothon (2019).

But realistically this isn’t always possible. And I prefer having more production companies offering variety. I don’t want them to sink under the weight of BL that didn’t do well commercially and me being left at the mercy of media conglomerates with seemingly bottomless funds and monopsony over BL authors, original works and the culture that creates them.

Also, there is queer content from Korean that is neither mainstream nor from fu-culture. Support those.

youtube

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respectthepetty · 2 months

Note

out of curiosity are some colours more common than other, is it possible to rank them as most to least common?

By this question, do you mean in QLs? As color-coded characters? Who are in color-coded pairs?

Well, I'm not a data person. I work in the humanities, so we don't "do" numbers, but if I had to compile a list based solely on my consumption of QLs (Thailand who is the largest producer of QLs, Japan, Korea, Taiwan, Philippines, Vietnam, and even China) , yeah. I would state that some colors are more common than others.

So on that note, black is the most common color-coded character.

Black is normally paired with a "light" character in the forms of multicolored characters or white-colored characters, so I don't really rank "light" characters, but they would be next in line if they were one color.

But black is also paired with blue.

Which means blue is the second most common color-coded character.

Korea tends to pair blue with green. Japan normally pairs it with yellow/orange. However, Thailand mainly pairs it with red.

The next most common color-coded character is red, which is significantly fueled by Thailand.

Strangely, yellow/orange (usually used interchangeably) is the next most common color-coded character.

It's odd because previous to 2022, there were not that many, but they are popping up a lot more in the past two years, specifically in Thai media.

Which means green is now slightly behind yellow/orange since Thai media doesn't use it as much, and Japan and Korea haven't used it as much recently either.

Next is pink.

Which much like red, is basically because of Thailand.

Purple and brown get no love!

However, brown has strangely been used more than purple.

Which is why I have high hopes for Wandee Goodday since Wandee will be a purple color-coded main character.

So yeah. Nothing too formal, but based on my informal observations, this is how the colors would rank from most common to least common color-coded characters in the QLs I've watched.

Thanks for the ask.

#the colors mean things #ranking the colors #from most common to least common #color coded people in love #purple has been done wrong #let wandee right that error #brown is meh to me so it is what it is

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agendabymooner · 10 months

Text

✦ 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 !!! 𝐥𝐧𝟒 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐮 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 ✦

summary: hannah-sue ‘honey’ lewis is so much like her sideman brother with the exception of the fact that she didn’t watch formula one as much as she used to back when she had her crush on mercedes driver michael schumacher in 2010.

lando norris never considered anything a miracle, but when he found out that his youtuber crush was somewhere in his party on the verge of passing out, he couldn’t help but label this unfortunate event as a work of an angel.

content warning: social anxiety, mentions of alcohol + nicotine consumption, use of explicit language, humour (possibly more mature), formula one x sidemen content (HEAVY ON FORMULA ONE THAN YOUTUBE UK), chatfic + social media post. more content warning to be added.

(SET ON 2022)

masterlist

note: lemme cook for a little 😮‍💨 i watch a lot of sidemen and the fact that they know a lot of f1 (and willne’s literally friends with lando) just gave me hopes on a crossover

⎯ 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓 (𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰)

●•●•● 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀𝐇-𝐒𝐔𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐖𝐈𝐒 aka honey-sue: DISASTER SISTER. youtuber (50 million views in her crossbar challenge video against her brother — who had a 71 million views on his sidemen one) known for being the less problematic and funniest counterpart of wroetoshaw. had the fattest crush on michael schumacher back when he drove for mercedes now she has her eyes on his carbon copy (only for a short while). despite being funny and foul mouthed on her videos, she can’t help but dislike socializing and attending parties.

●•●•● 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐒 ⁴: DISASTER SIMP. has had a crush on honey sue since she started doing some youtube videos in 2018 with the sidemen. he isn’t being nice to get closer — he just didn’t want her to be uncomfortable around him and his friends. he should’ve ended the party as soon as the disaster happened.

●•●•● 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐒: DISASTER PROTECTIVE MEN. all of them have collaborated with honey-sue one way or another — but mostly under the main channel of sidemen.

●•●•● 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍

𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐋𝐄𝐖𝐈𝐒 aka wroetoshaw: only a year older than honey-sue. no, he loves him not in a guernsey way. stop making those jokes about them. he only means well.

𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐉𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐉𝐈 aka ksi: has made it a mission to buy honey-sue anything she wants after she confronted him about being called a sket in the wroetoshaw diss track. doesn’t even bother to fuck around and find out with her anymore.

●•●•● 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐅 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅: british youtubers willne, theburntchip, calfreezy, beta squad, yung filly, quadrant (ria bish + max fewtrell), nella rose, harry pinero, johnny carey

●•●•● 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐔𝐋𝐀 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒: DISASTER GRID AND SEBASTIAN VETTEL (SOME HAVE DISASTER STRATEGIES). everyone are set on making the girl feel welcomed and comfortable as they found out that lando is set on winning her heart. alex albon definitely knows who she is as he found a storage box full of her merch once in lando’s bedroom. lando just hopes they don’t fuck things up for him.

⎯ 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 (𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨)

every summertime ; niki

crush ; tessa violet

striptease ; carwash

late night talking ; harry styles

pretty lips ; winehouse

honey ; samia ft. maya hawke

you don’t have to be alone ; summerdrive

she way out ; the 1975

i’m in love with you ; the 1975

when i met you ; apo hiking society

loverboy ; a-wall

leaves ; ben&ben

bad texter ; ryan woods

last friday night (tgif) ; katy perry

why can’t we be friends ; the academic

hey barbara ; iv of spades

take a chance on me ; abba

she’s so high ; tal bachman

flight ; postcard boy

fall ; ben&ben

i broke my neck when i fell for you ; remy

sunkissed ; khai dreams

4ever ; lany

maybe the night ; ben&ben

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ahundredtimesover · 1 year

Text

Belong (05: Post-Credits) | MYG

Pairing: Yoongi x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: exes-to-lovers-to-exes-to-lovers; actress!OC x basketball coach!Yoongi; summer romance; “long” distance relationship; parallel timelines; angst, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, family drama, sport injury; dreams & moving away; allusion to depression; basketball and acting talk; 2014 and 2022 Yoongi; shy and nonchalant cocky whipped Yoongi; almost drowning, sexual content (kissing, oral, penetrative sex) (18+)

Chapter Word count: 5k

Series Masterlist

Status: Complete

Series summary: Being an actor has always been your dream. Pursuing it meant many things - leaving the town where you grew up, distancing yourself from your family that had fallen apart, and saying goodbye to the man who made you feel what home was like. When you decide to finally return after being away for so long, you meet Min Yoongi again, and you’re reminded of the summer romance from 8 years ago with the college basketball superstar whose broken dream pushed you away. As you find yourself spending time with him, you’re left to wonder if love changes, if it gives second chances, or if it’s just another illusion that will hurt the both of you the second time around.

A/N: Wrapping up this story and this world now, as I keep its meaning close to me, where this Yoongi was a source of comfort. Thank you to those who took a chance with this one. Please know that in the midst of deciding to stop writing, you told me I could keep going. 😌

It was nice to be able to write about a sport that I deeply love (yes, I am manifesting with the NBA game featured here 🤞🏽) and about a theme I’m personally experiencing. Yoongi told us to live in the present and that we can dream simple, gentle dreams, too. Let’s cheer each other on! 💜

Listen to: For All You Give (feat. Lucy Rose) by The Paper Kites || Playlist 🎶

1.5 years later

You walk past the hallways to head outside the airport, large luggage in one hand and a small one on the other.

Your phone rings and Jimin is on the other end, asking if your flight was alright and if the weather is good. You give him a lowdown of the past 18 hours, including your lovely encounter with a Korean-American family during your Minneapolis layover. Their 6-year old is apparently a fan of yours after you did a stint of hosting her favorite Korean variety TV show, and your heart soared when she told you that she wants to be funny and beautiful like you. You found it amusing that doing cute poses and laughing your way through every episode was entertaining enough for her.

“That’s adorable,” Jimin chirps. “I love how your fanbase gets younger every year. You started with grandparents and now you’ve got 6-year olds under your spell.”

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” You laugh. “I just hope these kids don’t watch my latest movie because it’s gonna terrify them.”

“Yeah, at least keep the variety shows to entertain the babies,” he chuckles. “I already told Hoseok that you want to guest-host again. There are a couple of shows that want you onboard.”

“Ah, that’s great,” you beam. “I need as much joy and laughter in my life after that last project. That took so much out of me.”

“It did, didn’t it?” Jimin hums. “But it’s got the media buzzing about you again. So much for that one so-called journalist who claimed that you’re one-dimensional and can’t do anything other than romance because you’re only good at being in love. Let me smack her face with all the good reviews about your latest role so she can shut her one-dimensional mouth.”

You giggle at Jimin’s words, his protective nature soothing you like it always does. You remember when that article about you came out after you starred in a mini-series, a project you had after the show you filmed in Paris, which did turn out to be your biggest break then. Your role in that drama had you falling in love with someone from a rival family, one of the show’s major plot points, and that journalist went off about your supposed versatility being premised on the emotions of being in love. You can’t really do much outside of it, she said, and it was that same day when you got the lead role for a psychological thriller, with the industry’s eyes on you to see if you’re able to handle a character that’s so different from what you’re used to.

And well, it’s safe to say you blew their minds. Even you didn’t think you could do that well, but you pushed hard, not only to prove yourself to them but to challenge yourself, knowing that there’s more to learn and showcase even after 10 years of being in the industry.

The reviews showed that you delivered. Critics praised your acting, saying how disturbed they felt during specific scenes, and that was a compliment for you, knowing that was the goal. The movie was even shown in a recent foreign Film Festival, and the praises are still coming; Jimin’s been the one sending you every article and post he could find, and he’s been nothing short of amazing when it comes to encouraging and praising you himself for another successful project.

It wasn’t without its difficulties though, as getting into character meant you had to immerse yourself in its darkness, in the disturbing themes that ate away at you sometimes. It was Yoongi who’d been the one to bring you out to the light every time - sending you flowers while on set, giving you a bath after every filming so you’re not left in your own mind, holding you close whenever you slept, and driving you out during days off. It was hard but it was worth it, as you felt liberated from all the negative emotions once filming wrapped up.

Yoongi was supportive all throughout - including all the promotions you had to do and the moments of doubt you’d have about your performance. He held your hand during the premiere and took you to the mountains for a weekend to escape it all for a while. Other than the amazing sex you had and the time away from everyone, you both spent those days wrapped up in each other’s arms, easing back to your normal lives that didn’t include you randomly crying at night or losing sleep from your tiring schedule.

You’d just wrapped up your promos for the film in Seoul and you’re also waiting for the next project while working on some endorsements and guesting on the side. But after the exhausting couple of months, you deserve a break, and you want nothing more than to focus on Yoongi, knowing he’s the one who’ll be needing your love and support this time.

Jimin breaks through your thoughts and asks if the car he’d arranged has arrived.

“Not yet, but Yoongi messaged that he’s 5 minutes away,” you respond. “Thanks, by the way. I know you had to arrange all this in such short notice and had to work with Hoseok to push back all my other schedules. I know it was stressful for you, too.”

“And who said I ever minded?” Jimin replies. “I’ve spent enough time with Yoongi to know how much he takes care and supports you, and that also means I know just how much his career means to him. I’m sure you already know but nonchalant and cool he may be, he’s incredibly nervous. I just know having you there is gonna make all the difference.”

“I know,” you smile, feeling emotional at the thought. “I’m just so happy for him. He’s been sending me photos since he got here and I could just see his eyes sparkling. I’m so excited to see him in action.”

“Me, too, at least from here. We’ll be tuning in and I’ll just pretend I know shit about basketball and the NBA,” Jimin laughs. “I guess it’s weird to be cheering for the commentator and not the players but oh well. Just tell him we’re rooting for him; Jin’s gonna host watch parties in his house. We’ll invite Jungkook and Namjoon so there’ll be people who can actually explain to us what’s happening.”

You laugh at Jimin’s rambling. It’s touching to know just how much your friends have come to support Yoongi as well. You’ve to remind yourself that not long ago, they were all wary of him, given the 2 times he let you go. But they’ve seen in the past year and a half exactly what that love you treasure really looks like. You always said it was transformative for both of you in different ways, and they’ve come to witness that, too.

They’ve seen how tough days for you were always made better whenever Yoongi was around, how negative voices were always drowned out by his gentleness and encouragement, how bouts of insecurities were easily mended by his belief in you.

That love got you regularly going home to Daegu to see his dad and to be with yours, and to make an effort to heal the wounds with your sisters.

That love also got Yoongi to be braver, to take chances and to make the most out of every opportunity he could find. It’s that love that supported him throughout the months that he wrote for that online sports magazine, until he became a regular guest at an online sports show. It’s what encouraged him to apply for a sports channel’s basketball analyst position; you remember the smile on his face when he got the job and the first time he appeared on TV to talk about the sport he’s loved for most of his life. It’s your shared love that got him to dream again - maybe coach a professional team in the future, perhaps become a household name in sports media. It doesn’t matter what form, you’d remind him, as long as it was in the world of basketball.

It’s that same love that’s going to hold his hand through the next 2 or so weeks, as Yoongi lives out a dream he didn’t think he’d have. As a 10-year old who’d imagined himself playing for the NBA too many times, he didn’t think that 20 years later, he’d be reporting on it as part of the South Korean media. He thinks it’s just as much a dream as any. This is the sport he loves, and he told you once that he can’t imagine his life without it.

“Oh, I think that’s him!” You tell Jimin, as you spot the maroon car that Yoongi said he was in. “Thank you again.”

“Just call me for anything, okay?” He says on the other end. “And enjoy Boston!”

You bid him goodbye and rush to the car that stops not far from where you are. Yoongi exits and you hug him immediately, falling into the warmth that you’ve missed this past week. You were at a promotional event in Busan when he left Seoul for the US a few days ago so you didn’t get to say goodbye, but it appeased you that you could spend your break with him here.

But more than anything, it’s the fact that you get to be part of his new world this time, and nothing makes you happier than being able to see that sparkle in his eyes that made you fall for him that first time all those years ago. There’s that confidence again, that drive. Yoongi is all kinds of beautiful everyday, but seeing him do something he loves has always been special. You’re glad you get to witness that again.

“I missed you, jagi,” he hums in your ear. How was your flight?”

“Good. I got a bit of rest,” you reply. “And I missed you, too.”

Yoongi smiles and gives your luggage to the chauffeur who loads them in the trunk. You both enter the car and sneak in a kiss for the seconds that you’re alone, and he smiles against your lips before turning to you.

“You seem excited,” he states.

“Of course, baby. It’s the big day tomorrow. Aren’t you?”

“I’m terrified, actually,” he chuckles to mask the nervousness. “But Mr. Chan called earlier to ask how I’m feeling and he’s been so supportive, saying that his sprained ankle must’ve been a blessing in disguise if it meant I get to take his place. I did the reporting the other day during Media Day and he said I did really well, asking the players and coaches really good questions. He said if I sustain this during the entire championship series, I could be well on my way to reporting more big games even in other sports.”

“Baby, that’s huge!” You beam, turning to him to see his shy smile. “You could be reporting on the Olympics, who knows! But the NBA… this is huge for you. The fact that you’re who they thought to replace him is a big deal. It means they really see something in you.”

“I still think it’s a fluke,” he sighs. “If Mr. Chang hadn’t gotten injured, it would’ve been him. It just so happened that the other guys are either on leave or on another assignment and I was… there.”

“Then you just saved their asses! It means you get to show them how good you are, and I know you’re good. I wouldn’t be paying attention to basketball if you weren’t calling it.”

“You’re biased though,” he laughs.

“Duh. Name one other sports commentator who knows his shit, is incredibly handsome, has such a soothing voice, and looks hot talking about people shooting balls?” You exclaim. “No one! Just you! Baby, you’re saving the industry!”

Yoongi thinks you’re adorable when you go off like this. He always knew you didn’t actually pay attention to his games before because your eyes were only on him. Whenever you’d both watch on TV, you’re often curled into his arms, remarking that he does that same jumper smoothly or that the players are either boring or too cocky. You understand the sport, though. He knows you’re interested because you get basic terms and ask him questions. Sometimes he thinks you just want to hear him talk or analyze a play; sometimes you just giggle when he’s pulling his hair or yelling over a stupid call or when his team’s losing, but regardless of your level of appreciation for the sport, he knows you love it because he does, and that means more to him than you’ll ever know.

He gives in though, knowing you feel strongly about his basketball commentary skills.

“Thank you, jagi. I at least know that if I completely fail at this, you’d still think I’m hot.”

“Baby, I think you’re hot all the time. You could even model or act, you know? The industry will benefit from this pretty face,” you wink.

“Let’s say hypothetically, I do act. What happens if I have an intimate scene with someone? What would you do?” He asks, arching an eyebrow because he can almost predict what you’re gonna say.

“I will cry,” you pout, causing him to laugh.

It’s all hypothetical, but he can tell you’ll really be upset even if it’s something he has to live with all the time. It’s something he’s gotten used to, though. He did survive watching your scenes with Pablo where you both cuddled “naked” in bed, although he admits looking away so many times. He also made it through your mini-series where you had multiple sexually tense scenes with your co-star. He admits he likes it when you’re more clingy and affectionate after each filming and episode, and he won’t complain.

But knowing how affected you’d be if the roles were reversed makes him a little soft. He remembers those summers years ago when you’d eye the girls who’d cheer for him during his games and how you always ran to him after to hold his hand and then kiss him intensely in the bathroom or his car. You would deny the jealous girlfriend allegations and he used to just laugh through it. It seems like nothing has changed.

“These lips are for me only,” you say, cupping his cheeks to hold him in place for a deep kiss.

“They are,” he smiles. “And I know at the end of the day, your lips are only for me, too.”

He kisses you again, no longer minding the chauffeur in the car who doesn’t seem to care that you’re being affectionate in his backseat.

“They are,” you hum. “They’re for your neck, and your chest, and—” you palm his cock — “for this.”

“Jagi,” he laughs, already used to your antics.

You’re usually like this after being away. You were apart for a few days and it’s been a while since you’ve been separated for longer than that.

“I just miss you,” you sigh, hugging him now and liking the comfort of his touch as always. “No one would massage my feet after walking in heels for hours and have a bath with me, no one would make me cum to sleep or kiss me goodnight.”

“Nice to know that’s all you miss,” he teases, earning him another pout.

“You know what I mean.”

“I do, and I miss those, too,” he hums as he kisses your forehead. “Thanks though, for coming here. I know that Jimin and Hoseok had to push back some of your schedules.”

“No issue at all. I wanted to be here, babe. This is a big deal and I’m… I’m just so happy for you,” you say against his chest.

“You know I wouldn’t have gotten here without you, right?” He replies, emotional now at how far he’s come.

It’s been years but the memory of his injury and his subsequent fallout from the sport comes and goes sometimes, so was losing you in the process. And then losing you again. But he’s here now, with you, the night before an important moment of his young career as a sports analyst, and he’s never felt more secure in his life.

“You’ve always been a fighter,” you look up at him. “And you’re here because of you.” You kiss him softly. “But I can also take credit, that’s fine,” you laugh. “But really, thank you for not giving up on your dream, babe. I hope you know that it gives me courage, too.”

That night, you climb into bed with Yoongi, the exhaustion from the long trip overtaking you. There’s warmth in his eyes when he looks at you, and he chuckles when you try to stay awake. It’s his soft lips against your forehead that bids you goodnight, and you fall into his arms, knowing that this is what you’ll be waking up to in the morning.

The next evening, you walk inside TD Garden, Boston’s sports arena, where Game 1 of the NBA finals between the Celtics and Phoenix Suns are being held. The energy is insane, something you’ve never felt before, and it’s making you giddy and excited. You can only imagine what it’s like for Yoongi, and the thought makes your heart warm.

You did see him taking long breaths earlier after he’d dressed up and prepared to leave, and much as you’d been so tired, you just had to hug him to calm him down and tell him that he’s gonna do great. He’s just excited, he claimed, but he’ll look for you in the arena; knowing you’re there with him will be enough to calm his racing heart.

He had to go earlier to cover the press conference and film for their segment in Seoul’s morning news channel. It’s just him, Hee-soo, and a small production crew but it’s all they need. As commentators, they get to call the game but also interview the players and staff, report it, and then write about it. It’s tough and stressful but it’s the kind of buzz that Yoongi lives for now, you can tell, as you eye him in his designated analysts’ table, looking around and taking in the energy of the arena. His smile is priceless. There’s pride in it, there’s acceptance. It looks like the smile of someone who fought hard to have a new dream, and someone who worked to achieve it.

Yoongi’s eyes go to you and you wave. You’re thankful for the connections you have that got you this ticket last minute, and even if you won’t pay attention to the game as much, being here to witness Yoongi call his first NBA match is too special to miss. You can’t imagine being anywhere else.

The game is an exciting one. You get into it with the crowd even if you don’t exactly have a team you’re rooting for but you cheer just the same. Your eyes constantly flit to Yoongi though, whose position isn’t far from where you’re seated.

You listen through the online channel so you can hear what he’s saying, and the way he describes the energy inside is on-point. He narrates the plays effectively; you could be looking away from the court and still feel like you’re watching because of how good he is. His voice is calm and measured, except towards the end when the game is close and his pitch increases and he matches the excitement of what’s happening. It’s intense and exhilarating, and when the final buzzer sounds, you turn to him and see that smile on his face again.

Tears form in your eyes as you feel overwhelming pride. Perhaps it’s similar to what he felt when he was with you during the recent Film Festival where your movie was shown and the audience gave your entry a standing ovation. He knew what you had to go through for that role and seeing your hard work paying off meant so much to him, as he got to hold your hand and tell you he was proud of you.

That was special, he said. So many times in the past, he wanted to tell you all that, and that you did well, and that he’s looking forward to the next big thing you’ll do, but he never had the courage to. That’s why he’d send flowers, he told you.

He also revealed how that came about - how he’d driven to Seoul for your first movie premiere with a bouquet of daisies but that he’d seen you with someone, and how he decided to leave it at the agency for you to receive. He almost took it back but you seemed to like it so he just continued with the tradition. You cried then, and he said he didn’t want you to feel guilty. But you were emotional because he still looked out for you and his care for you never wavered. The flowers gave you strength, and you’d told him you wanted to be like those daisies for him, too.

Seeing him now gives you that sense of fulfillment, that not long from now, you’ll be able to hold his hand and tell him you’re proud of him, and the chance to do that for someone you love is special beyond words. You’re glad you can finally do that for each other now.

Gentle dreams, you think. This life with him and all the simple things you do for each other and together are some of the biggest ones.

It’s quiet in the car on the way to your hotel, the fancier one you booked for both of you instead of the mid-range one they got for him. Yoongi is focused on his notebook, jotting down notes from his memory that he’ll have to write up later on.

He’s then glued to his device once you get to your room, with him seated on the couch and agreeing to your orders for room service for your dinner. It seems he’s going through the messages of praise from his colleagues and his friends. A lot of people tune in to the channel’s coverage of the NBA, and other than you, no one’s prouder than his dad and his brother.

You watch him from the bathroom door, appreciating the joy he exudes. It’s different from what you’d seen all those years ago. This is a man who went through various kinds of pain and had other people suffer because of it, something he still burdens himself with every once in a while. But he did the brave thing of dreaming again; sometimes you think that’s probably harder than when he gave up on the first one.

Yoongi shows you everyday that courage takes different forms. Sometimes it’s letting something go, sometimes it’s fighting for them. Sometimes it’s loving someone from afar and sometimes it’s flying thousands of miles to a foreign country and asking for them back.

But it’s always picking up your broken pieces and learning to love yourself despite and because of them. It’s finding something or someone you can’t live without and offering what you can, trusting that they’ll take you into their world because you deserve it. Courage is dreaming again, it’s loving again even with the possibility of getting hurt. It’s trusting yourself enough that you’re going to be okay if things don’t go your way.

You hear him call your name. You realize you’ve been gazing at him for longer than you intended, and so you walk towards him as he looks at you questioningly.

“I was just admiring how happy you look,” you say. “It suits you, and I’m just so thankful I get to see it.”

His face softens and he reaches out his hand, one that he kisses and he doesn’t say anything else. He just looks at you tenderly and your heart races at the sight.

You bend to capture his lips on yours, your movements gentle yet wanting. But it builds as time passes, until you feel him undoing the knot of your bathrobe, with him sighing in satisfaction when he feels you bare underneath. Your breath hitches when he cups your breast and you want nothing more than to have him right now.

You pull away then remove your robe, liking the way his eyes roam around your naked form and how he gulps at the position you’re getting into, as you get on your knees and spread his legs apart. His slacks get off first, and then his briefs. He removes the rest of his clothes as you take him in your mouth, his cock heavy and wanting as it reaches the edge of your throat.

You take your time, wanting him to feel good after what he’d done tonight, but he’s the one who pulls away, wanting instead to bury himself inside you. It’s what he does, as he directs you on the couch, entering you from behind while his fingers do their magic on all parts of your body. But he lets you both come together, on the bed as he hovers over you, his head no longer buried in your neck, with his eyes looking straight into yours as you both come down from your highs.

He kisses your lips tenderly as his I love you, and the way he holds you later that night says everything he can’t say.

Loving you is what he wants to do in his life. Loving you is courage.

You didn’t realize just how tiring covering the NBA finals would be. Considering their small team, Yoongi and Hee-soo work double time to get all the information they need to cover the games and write about them within a short period of time. They also have to fly back and forth depending on where the game is and you’ve liked tagging along, enjoying the amenities of your hotel and exploring the nearby area. It’s what you do in Boston and then in Phoenix.

And while a game 7 is great for the league and basketball fans, you can tell it’s taxing for Yoongi. He doesn’t complain though. It’s part of the experience; the first one tends to be very memorable, he says.

Both of you find yourselves in Boston's public garden the afternoon after the final game of the series. It’s been a crazy 24 hours, as Yoongi and Hee-soo had to do interviews and then report and then write about the game. You stayed by Yoongi’s side, attending to his needs and helping whenever you can.

It’s early morning in Korea by now and work can resume later, perhaps right before or during your early morning flight back home, but you’re both at what has become one of your favorite spots in the city. It’s nice and simple and quiet. The garden is also accessible. It reminds you of the park in Paris, the one where Yoongi had come to meet you, and you cried in his arms at the sight of the man you didn’t think you’d be able to be with again, but he braved through his fears to be with you.

“I like it here,” you say, as you walk past one of the many statues.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” He hums. “The pond reminds me of Paris.”

You turn to him and smile, letting him know you were thinking the same.

Yoongi watches you lovingly look at the flowers. Your head turns when you hear toddlers squealing on their parents’ shoulders. And you perk up at the dog that stops to sniff his leg. They’re all simple but they’re so unabashedly you - soft, charming, and everything he needs.

He thinks about all the things he loves about you as you smile and laugh at your surroundings. He’s been thinking about a lot of things, actually, constantly pinching his arm to remind himself that this life he’s created with you isn’t just some dream he conjured in his mind to get over losing you twice. You’re actually, truly next to him, living his new dream with him, as he dreams your dream with you. He doesn’t think he can get any happier than everyday he gets to live like this.

You told him a few times that he’s brave for dreaming a new dream. It’s scary to do that, you’d said, so are other things, like loving again and again, accepting the broken pieces of himself and loving every one of them. You’d said that he was brave for flying to see you and asking for you back, and while he agrees to some extent, he doesn’t think anyone can be braver than you.

You love intensely and genuinely; you love so certainly. You love like you heal, and you love yourself and others so you could heal as well. The way you loved him all these years has been filled with courage - you loved when it hurt, when it didn’t feel like he wanted to fight for you, when it felt like your love wasn’t strong enough to carry his burden. You loved so hard that there would be nothing to regret if the world ended the next day, and your love is so transformative that it created a home in his aching heart so that it could be strong enough to love both you and him after everything.

You turn to him and reach out for your hand as you head towards the exit, and he jogs to where you are and intertwines his fingers with yours - not loosely but securely; he wants you to know he’s never letting you go.

There’s no version of life that he’d let you go another time. And so when he gets a message from the jeweler that his order for a customized daisy ring is ready, Yoongi’s heart soars to know that he could at least give you - ask you - something that will let you know that he’ll choose this life over and over again as long as it’s the one where he gets to live the rest of it next to you.

You’ll both go back to Seoul, in the home you both created, in each other’s arms where you both belong.

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 2 years

Text

Mr. & Mrs. Stark

Warnings: this fic includes dark content including rape/noncon, kidnapping, anal, oral, fear, manipulation, cheating, and other potential triggering elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your life is turned upside down. First by Tony Stark. Then Steve Rogers.

Characters: Stony x reader

Note: This if for I love you 3000 dark writing challenge 2022 . I chose Stony with the basement wife trope. This is my first time doing Stony and only my second full length Tony fic.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. Thanks to everyone who reads this one and thank you for all your energy.<3

Love you all like Mother Goose loves being a goose? Take care. 💖

[Italics are flashbacks]

Tick, tick, tick.

The wall stares back at you, your only companion as a hint of cleaner lingers, tickling your nose with artificial lilac. Your hands curve around the porcelain, the tea lukewarm in your neglect. All is as it should be. The kitchen is quiet and empty, every counter shining, every tile mopped and stringent.

You blow out between your lips as that urgent flutter rises in your chest. That feeling that never goes away. Anticipation, rather anxiety. Revery, rather, regret. How did you get here?

Stark Tower was eerie after hours but you often found comfort in the late nights. Forgotten in the lower floors to sort through the endless cycle of files and memos, there’s a peace that nestles deep in the heart of the bustling corporation. The shuffle of paper, the rustle of pages landed in the bin, others sent off in tubes. For a company known for innovation, the system was antiquated.

You capped another container and sent it up. The work kept your hands busy, your mind distracted. Menial work, nothing like those on the top floors. The suits and the heroes. Among the excitement of the next new Stark invention was the boss himself and his team of avengers. A tier unreachable to any other.

You were happy in your little nook. Your place. Where you belonged. It wasn’t much but you made enough for rent, you had insurance, and a few perks that made the day tolerable. You reached for your forgotten coffee and took a bitter swig. It was cold and stale, but it was free.

Tick, tick, tick.

You blink at the clock and look down at your tea. The subtle amber hue of steeped herbs. You stand up, the scrape of the chair’s feet blasphemous in the silence. Your heels click across the floor and you dump the tea down the sink, rinsing the residue with the faucet. You watch the water swirl down, a small cyclone draining into the pipes.

You put the mug aside and close your eyes. You hang your head as you clutch the edge of the sink and shudder. The sterile air is cold and unwelcoming. You can never settle. Not here.

You rose and cursed at the brim of your cup. Your hips ached from your awkward perch on the high stool as you sorted. The nights often saw you waddling off with a stiff back and cramped legs. You groaned as you rubbed your lower back and elbowed through the door into the hall.

You poured the coffee into the water fountain just outside and pushed down the knob to wash away the remnants. You dropped the empty cup in the bin against the far wall with a hollow thwop and pushed your neck back with a sigh. Your shoulders were knotted, tugging on one another each time you moved.

There was an echo of your footstep as you shuffled back to the mailroom. You paused and looked down the hall. The lighting is pale and painful as it stings your tired eyes. Night shift always had that sobering effect, the hyper awareness that chiseled away at your sanity. You shake your head and pull open the door, dipping back into the room laced with the scent of paper.

You drag your hand blindly across the counter and retrieve the mug, giving it a proper scrub before drying it and placing it in the perfect line of cups in the cupboard. You shut the door and back up, turning to face the purgatory of your existence. The static raises goosebumps on your skin.

You cross the room and look into the next. The plush couch, the large TV, the luxurious carpet, a wall of windows that almost seem real. It’s a dream, the home everyone would love. Everyone but you.

You walk around the couch and near the wall that looks out onto the city skyline. That gives the illusion of a high rise. You touch the LCD and shake your head. A dystopian simulation stands all around you. A cell made to look like paradise.

It was 4am. Actually, twenty minutes past. You’d lost track of time but wouldn’t clock the extra minutes. You just wanted to go home and fall into bed. A hot shower sounded nice but you didn’t have the energy for that.

You locked the mailroom behind you and spun to face the hall. That noise. That echo, just a second off the scuff of your sole. You looked down at your black sneakers, the fifteen dollar pair that would wear through in a few months. The flat inline that did nothing for your pain.

You took a breath and looked both ways down the hall before you set off down your usual route. The subway was empty around this time of day, the closest ramp sat behind Stark Tower. You wound down the twists and turns of the basement towards the rear exit.

Before you turned the corner, you heard a click, the gentle touch of metal on metal. You slowed as you peeked around and found nothing but the heavy door that led to the concrete stairwell. Sometimes the janitor was around, starting their shift, but you didn’t see their cart or any signs of cleaning.

You sighed and rubbed your eyes as your knapsack dangled from your right shoulder. You were tired, you were hearing things. You pushed through the door, the noise echoed up the floors above. Your shoes squeaked as you crossed the cracked floor, neglected for the upper tiers of the tower. Your foot never met the first step.

“Honey, I’m home,” Tony’s voice draws you back from the live stream of the cityscape. You back away and quickly go to meet him, forcing a laugh at his oft repeated joke.

You stand at the end of the hallway as you watch him. He grunts as he rolls his shoulders and smiles as he sees you. You rush forward to help him out of his suit jacket. He stops you before you can hang it and kisses your cheek, “honey, you okay?”

“Yes, sir,” you say as you turn and sling his jacket on the coat rack, “I just finished tidying up.”

“Ah,” he taps your ass softly, “good girl.”

You step away and fold your hands compliantly. He sits on the bench with the shelf of shoes below. You get to your knees and slip off his loafers, inserting them into the empty space beneath. He catches your chin as you sit back on your heels and makes you look at him.

“You’re so good to me, baby,” he strokes your chin with his thumb, “you look tired.”

“Oh, I…” you touch your cheeks and shy away, “I forgot to–”

“No, I don’t mind,” he grabs your jaw more firmly before you can pull away, “a natural beauty.”

“Thank you, sir,” you swallow.

“Baby, tonight is not about me, it’s about you.”

You blink. Your chest twinges. You know that’s never true. You stare and wait for his trick to unfold.

“Shhh, baby, please, it’s okay,” the voice tickled the shell of your ear as you writhed in his grasp, “don’t fight it. It only makes it worse–”

You clawed at the tails of his jacket as your feet hit the floor helplessly. You saw the odd bracelet beneath his sleeve and the sudden cloud of blue smoke that puffed from it. It seeped into your nose and flooded your head, eyes itchy and mouth dry as you were forced to inhale the mist.

“Alright, it’s okay,” he kept his arm around your neck as he pet your head, easing you down to the floor as your body went limp, “just go to sleep. Shhhh, it’s alright.”

“Me?” You wonder as you bat your lashes. He drags his hand up to your cheek and gives a playful tap.

“Baby, go draw yourself a bath and relax,” he purrs as you remain kneeling between his knees, “as much as I love to see you in this position, you earned it.”

“Sir,” you breathe.

He offers his hand and you take it, cautious. He stands and pulls you up with him. His other hand crawls down your side and he hums as he eyes your dress.

“Can you believe it? One year. One whole year.”

You blanch and touch his hand as he squeezes your side. You nearly stagger at the revelation.

Tick, tick, tick. You hear the clock in the kitchen. How many hours, how many days, how many months. Not knowing is easier. You inhale deeply and let your hand trail up his arm, resisting the urge to shove him away.

“Happy anniversary,” you eke out, you know what he wants. He’s taught you exactly what to say.

“Aw, baby, happy anniversary,” he pulls you against him and crushes his lips against yours. He kisses you roughly, the trim along his chin tickles, as his warmth consumes you.

You woke up in darkness. Pitch black. You couldn’t see your own fingers as you waved them in front of your face. Naked but for the light weight around your neck. The panic quickly began to bloom.

“Baby, you’re awake,” the bodiless voice cooed, “ah, ah,” he tutted as you tried to sit up, only to fall back dizzily, “don’t go making too much fuss. You gotta give it time.”

“Wh–wh–” Where are you? What happened? You can’t put it into words as you’re paralysed by the throbbing in your head.

“One thing at a time, baby. This is level one.”

Level one, you blinked. Confused in the fog of your brain, the blackness, the voice that seemed to come from all around you.

“Level two is easier, but one is more fun,” he chuckled, “so baby, let’s start easy–”

“Who are you?” You whimpered as your body shook with the effort to sit up.

“Ah, I was about to get to that,” he taunted, “now, baby, don’t get so worked up. Your heart is pumping so hard, you’re gonna knock yourself out.”

“Please–”

“Baby, I’m warning you, it’s easy if you listen,” he dragged out the last word to a growl. “You can call me–”

“I’m scared,” your chest thumped hard as your ears rang, “please–”

Your muscles constricted suddenly and you crumpled onto the ground, prostrated on your back as the surge stretched every nerve to its limit.

“Baby, don’t make me do that again,” he warned as the tension slaked away and left you panting weakly, “for now, you will call me ‘sir’.”

The bathing pool stands against the wall, a great basin of steamy water, scented with rose as you dip into the depths. The heat should be relaxing but you can’t even remember what it feels like to relax. You lean against the wall and pull your knees up, bending your arms over your legs as you sit alone.

Tony surprises you as he appears, a bottle in one hand, two glasses balanced in the other. He puts them down on the tile that edges the tub and uncorks the bottle, a swell of foam rising over the top as he holds it away from him. He pours a full glass for both of you.

“Baby,” he lifts one and holds it out.

You push through the water to take it, “thank you, sir.”

You retreat and stare at the bubbly golden nectar. You were never a drinker but he never afforded you the indulgence. Maybe he’d allow you enough to forget. Or at least, accept.

“Thank you, baby,” he winks and peeks beneath the surface of the water, “you’re a sweet little thing.”

You smile, it’s brittle and painful as it dimples your cheek.

“Go on, have a drink, don’t wait on me,” he bids as he pulls free his tie, “we got all night.”

You carefully put the flute to your lips and daintily taste the wine. It’s sweet and sour at once. You nearly choke as you swallow it down. You drink deeper as the heat spreads through your chest.

You quivered and whined as another vibe rose from within. You don’t understand. It was hours of this. You reached searchingly down and still nothing. No, just your body. What was happening to you?

You felt along your cunt, dripping with your cum as a vibration pulses from within. You whimpered as you grazed your clit, adding to the overwhelming sensation. You hissed and poked your fingers inside, prodding, pushing as you tried to find the source. Still, you come up empty.

You rolled onto your back and cried out as you came again, body contorting with the raging tide of your climax. Your fingers curled into your palms and your toes bent until they would break. You gulped down air desperately, your head spinning as the rippling continued to course through you.

“Baby, you’re doing so good,” his voice taunted from the unseen speaker, “so good but you keep touching yourself, and I won’t be so generous.”

Tony slides up next to you, stretching his arm over your shoulders as he sits snugly against you. He clinks your glass with his and sips, his dark eyes clinging to you. You drink too and finish the last mouthful.

“Thirsty?” He muses. “As always.”

You look at your empty glass, “sorry, sir, I didn’t–”

“Go on, have some more,” he prompts, “it’s a special night, baby.”

You don’t want more. You already feel off-kilter but you know better than to say no. You wade over to the edge and fill your glass before you return to him. As you do, he directs you into his lap, his dick bobbing hard beneath you.

“Mmm, baby,” he reaches around you and takes your glass, “you’re delectable. I could eat you up.”

He presses the brim to your lips and tilts it. You swallow as he pours into your mouth, gulping as the deluge nearly chokes you. When the glass is empty, you cough and he draws it away, placing it beside his one the tile.

He hugs you from behind and kisses your shoulder, “missed you. Sorry I was gone so long but things… got a bit hairy.”

“Yes, sir,” you lean back against him as his hands crawl up your stomach and he fondles your tits. He groans as your ass rests on his twitching length.

“You know him,” he speaks against your skin and sighs, “always something to argue about. Not like you, baby. You know how much I love you, don’t you?”

“Yes, sir,” you lie.

“Fuck, it hurts how much I love you,” he snarls and nips at your neck, “I need you on me right now.”

“Sir,” your throat tightens as his hand wanders up to your neck.

You lift yourself slightly and feel beneath you. You angle his dick along your folds and spread your legs around his, easing down until you feel him in your stomach. You groan as your body tenses at the fullness. He squeezes your throat as his other hand grips your hip, forcing you down until it hurts.

“Good girl,” he rasps as he moves you slowly, guiding your pelvis in a torturous rock. “I’ve been thinking of this forever. One year…”

He growls and his hot breath fans over your shoulder and down your chest as he dips his head against you. He keeps his hold on your hip and his other hand drifts along your skin and down your arm. He takes your hand and raises it over the water, toying with the ring on your finger.

“Did you miss me?” He moans as he tilts you a little faster.

“Yes, sir,” you answer as you follow his lead, curling your fingers against his thigh, “I always do.”

“I wish it wasn’t so lonely down here for you,” he leans back, hanging his head back over the edge, “keep going.”

He pulls his hands back, bracing the tub as he groans. You keep your hips rolling, breath rising in shallow puffs as you fuck him. His deep voice drowns as he lets you take over, water slapping between your bodies.

“Fuck, that’s it, baby,” he slaps your ass from the side, “you got a nice fucking ass. I think of that ass–” he grunts, “too much. Oh, god.”

You let out pathetic murmurs as he swoops his arm around you. He rubs your clit in circles as you work in his lap, knees against the porcelain as you grasp his thigh tighter.

“Fuck, baby, harder,” he begs as his fingers quicken on your clit, “yeah, like that.”

You obey, your voice underlining your frantic breaths. He snarls as the water splashes around your motion. You’re close as your walls clench him. He can feel it as he flicks you urgently. Your orgasm rolls over you but you fight through the pique to keep going.

“Mmm, you’re so good to me,” he presses on your bud until you whimper, “tell me to cum, baby.”

“Cum for me,” you huff, “sir, please, cum for me. You want to cum for me, don’t you?” You close your eyes as you recite your lines. “Are you bad? Are you going to cum in me?” He gurgles as you feel his body stiffen, “where do you wanna cum, sir?”

“Where do you want me to–” he rasps.

“Cum in me, sir, please,” you say through tight lips, “fill me up, please. I need it, sir.”

He spasm and latches onto your sides. He slams you down, over and over as he growls and fucks you from below. His pace is erratic and wild as the warmth coats your walls, slickening around him as he eases up. Finally, he stills you, pulling you back against his chest as he sighs.

“Mmm, I needed that,” he traces a line up your stomach, “but baby, I’m gonna cover every part of you in me.”

🕛

Just another day. Each like the last and the next. The only unknown is when he will be there. When he will come to cement the futility of your imprisonment.

There's never much to do. It's just you, you don't make much mess, and he doesn't leave much for you to clean up beyond yourself.

You pace as you usually do. By the books on the shelves you couldn't read for the reminder of what you'll never have again. The same reason the television stays black. The easel and paints that you only used once. The puzzle books you can't focus on enough to finish one riddle. The half-done knitting project. The evidence of your addled existence all around.

Click, click, click.

Your heels keep a tempo on the floor, holding pace with the ebb and flow of your thoughts. Slow, then fast, then stilling for just a moment as you turn back.

Click. Not a heel. Click. At the door. Click, click, scratch, beep, beep, beep.

You go to the doorway and peek around the plaster. The door shifts, shakes, then opens. You hide behind the plaster quickly. It can't be real. You've finally snapped.

The door whispers to a stop as he steps inside, his sole soft on the floor. You hold your breath and listen, not daring to poke your head out again. The gentle friction of some object moved and put back.

You step out of one shoe at a time and bend to pick them up. The rustle of fabric, a careful inspection of the coats by the door, for decoration alone. You don't need them, you never go out.

You cautiously tiptoe away as his footfalls advance down the hallway, closer. You scurry into the bedroom, panic tying your nerves in clusters as you look around. What do you do?

You roll open the closet and pull it shut swiftly as you spin inside. You slip on between the dresses hung on hangers and watch between the slats as the muffled noise of his invasion draws closer and closer.

He lets out a long exhale as his shadow skews over the hardwood.

"I can hear you," he utters to the air, "you're heartbeat. Come out."

You close your eyes and push yourself to the back of the closet, swallowed by the fabric around you.

"I know you're afraid. Your heart is racing. But I'm not here to hurt you." He steps inside and you quiver as you look through one eye, his blurry figure visible through the slat. "It's me, Cap? Steve Rogers."

He lets the declaration hang as he walks around the bed. He turns his back to you as he nears the night table, where an oval frame holds a picture of your and Tony. A picture where the sadness underlines your tight smile.

"The fuck…" he breathes.

"I'm not mad at you," he turns back, walking along the wall, towards the closet. "Not as much as him."

You smother your mouth as your tears trickle out. Tony's husband is just on the other side of the door and you're hiding. Hiding because he wouldn't believe you. Because you have nowhere to go and you learned long ago these heroes are anything but.

He pushes the door open so it folds, the wood snapping against itself. You sniffle as he shoves apart the hangers, unveiling you. His figure is shadowed as he blocks out the light of the bedroom.

"I'm sorry," you croak and cower.

"Come out," he says evenly, the anger barely restrained, "now."

You drop your shoes and step out. He moves back and watches you emerge. He looks you over as you shy away, slipping your hand behind your back as you see the golden band on his finger.

"Hey," he catches your arm and forces your hand up. His jaw ticks and he grits his teeth, letting go of you as he sneers, "fucking bastard. I knew it. And he was accusing me, but here–" he stops himself. "Let's go."

He grabs your wrist and drags you across the floor. You squeak as you try to dig in your heels, only causing your feet to drag painfully across the hardwood.

"Please, you can't-"

"Like hell I can't," he growls, "he wants to have a little pet, well too bad."

"No, please, listen," you plead as he forces you into the front room and marches you down the long hallway to the open door, "he won't let m–"

He tries to force you over the threshold and you cry out as a zap runs up your hand and down your spine. You violently rip away from him and hit the wall as you cradle your fingers, the ring searing you from the inside out. You sob and slide down to the floor.

"Christ! Tony!" He hollers as he squats and grabs your hand, "fucking–"

He tries to pull the ring off and another jolt surges in your, another shrill shriek as you swat him away.

"No, you can't–" you gasp as he lets you go and you keel over on the floor, weeping.

He huffs and stands up, kicking over the coat rack. It barely misses you as it falls and you sit up against the wall, breathless and babbling. You want to leave, you would do anything to leave, but you can't. He doesn't know how it hurts.

"Fuck!" He takes off his own ring and tosses it away, "fuck!"

"Always were the nosy type, Rogers," you wince as Tony’s voice echoes from the corners. You shrink as Steve turns, searching for him, "you spoiled the surprise."

"Surprise? Fuck you, Tony!"

"Now, now, honey, I couldn't give you an untrained pet, could I?"

"Bullshit!" Steve spins again, narrowing his eyes at a seam in the wall, "you've been fucking… her."

"I've been getting her ready for you," Tony calls back. The door suddenly shuts on its own and the lock whirs back into place. "Now don't go tryna run off on me just yet."

You curl up as Steve storms at the door and hits it with his shoulder. He does it several times and pulls at the handle. He snarls and kicks it, staggering back out of breath.

He pivots as he grips his hips and looks down at you, chest rising and falling heavily. He sighs and shakes his head. He slips down to sit on the floor beside the overturned coat rack.

"How long have you been here?" He asks.

You shrug, mopping your face with the back of your hands, "I don't know… a year… more."

"Do you want to be here?"

You stare at him, "that doesn't matter."

His blue eyes wander up the wall and he tilts his head back, "you're telling me."

You sit in silence, hugging your knees as you tremble and stare at his hand, fingers furling and unfurling. You hang your head and wipe your nose.

"I can make some coffee," you offer softly.

He flicks his fingers, exasperated, "sure, what the hell else am I gonna do?"

👠

You approach Steve quietly and set down the cup. He doesn't acknowledge you and you go to grab the cream and sugar, placing it close to the mug.

"Do you want milk instead?" You offer.

He breaks his trance fixated on the fridge and looks at you, "no, it's fine…" he wraps his long fingers around the porcelain, "thank you."

"I made cookies yesterday. Or the day before. I don’t know."

His lips part, a moment of disgust. He blinks, "no, no, that's… jeez. Can you sit down?"

"No, I have to be ready. I have to…" you stop your manic rambling, "sorry, sir, I'm sorry."

"Don't. Don't apologise. Don't talk like that. What is wrong with you?"

Your lip quivers and your frown. Your cheek twitches as your legs shake, "you're supposed to tell me what's wrong."

He bites down and stands. You flinch as he touches your upper arms and guides you back to sit in another chair. He holds you there and reluctantly parts.

"Where did you come from?" He sits and leans an elbow on the table as he hooks two fingers through the handle of the mug.

"I…" you look at the table, the rippled knot in the wood and cover it with your hand, "I worked the mailroom at Stark Tower. Once. Before…"

"Mailroom?" He cringes, "you're the one–"

He puts his hand to his mouth as his forehead wrinkles. He slips his head down and braces his forehead. You chew the inside of your cheek and look away.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I am," he sits back and grabs the cup, taking a deep gulp. He sighs and slams the cup down abruptly. The table jars and he stands, stomping out, "I can't fucking look at you."

You can't blame him. You hate yourself too. You hear him pacing in the hallway, then into the front room, something crashes and you drop your head down onto your arms as you slump against the table. This can't be real.

The door whirs and you sit up sharply, rocking the chair beneath you. Tony's voice flows down the hall.

"Honey, I'm home."

There's silence, then barreling steps down the hall. You turn and stare as Steve charges Tony back into the door as it locks. You don't move, paralysed as the blonde reels back and yowls.

"Come on, Rogers, you're not gonna bully me," Tony shows the odd skeleton contraption that wraps his hand, "why are you so ungrateful?"

"Me? You–"

"I told you, she's a gift. I'm surprised you waited for me to get started."

"Her? I don't–"

You can't see Steve, only Tony as he stands in the crux of the two doors.

"Tell me you don't want the sweet little thing," Tony taunts, "Rogers, I'd love to see it."

"Shut the fuck up. What did you do to her?"

"Everything that's going through your head at this very moment."

Silence. Tick, tick, tick.

"Tony," Steve mutters.

"Steve," Tony answers brightly, "you want her mouth first or–"

"Stop."

"I left her ass alone. For you, baby."

"Stop!" Steve shoves him and storms away, then back again.

Tony snickers as he regains his balance, "you're getting hard right now thinking about it. You want her. She's just your type, Captain. I should know."

"Stop, please," Steve begs, "we're married. You're–"

"I know you, all your little toys. Before–"

"I stopped," Steve blusters, "I stopped for you, Tony! What are you doing?"

"I'm spicing things up. Tell me it hasn't gotten stale."

"No shit. You got some girl locked up in this– this– bunker. Tony!"

"I can see your raging hard on, buddy, you don't gotta pretend with me–"

"Tony, I'm gonna fucking kill you. You are so–"

"Depraved? Fucked up? Kinky? You knew it. Let me hold her for you. Huh? I'll bend that pretty little ass over as you watch her suck my dick. Tell me you don't want it."

"Ton…" Steve rasps, "why?"

"Why not?"

Tick, tick, tick. You look up at the clock. Waiting.

"Oh, honey," Tony sings, "come here and meet the Captain."

You push the chair back, scraping loudly on the floor. You get up and rigidly turn, striding out to the hallway. Tony leads you in front of him to face Steve.

"Look at her," he snakes his arm around to force your chin up, "precious, isn't she?"

Steve takes a deep breath. The veins in his arms bulge as his eyes narrow and his pupils dilate. His head twitches as he clenches his jaw.

"And isn't he just the most hunky piece of star-spangled beef you've ever seen, baby?" Tony purrs against your crown.

"Yes, sir," you answer diligently.

"See how well I trained her, Cap? The soldier in you should be proud. Huh? Call him Captain, honey. He likes that."

"Okay, Captain," you shudder as Tony steps back.

Steve moans as he shifts his weight, his hand rising to brush down his chest. Tony tugs down the zipper of your dress and the fabric slackens. He pushes it down, baring you as he shoves it past your hips. You're left naked and prone to the other man's gaze.

"Rogers," Tony says in a musical taunt as he grabs your waist and urges you forward. "Look at her."

Steve looks down and shakes his head. He hooks his thumbs in the loops of his jeans.

"She wants you, Rogers. What's she gonna do without the Captain's firm hand?"

Steve takes a quaking breath and sucks his teeth. He tilts his head from side to side like a horse trying to shake its reins. His cheek dimples as he nods.

"Take her to the bedroom," he whispers, "gimme a moment here."

"You heard him," Tony lowers his hand to give your ass a tap, "get all nice and wet for him, baby."

Tony grasps your shoulders and steers you around Steve, who turns to watch as you go, eyes hooded and heavy. A darker presence lurks in him, something frightening, like a tiger licking its chops. The man behind you chuckles and urges you on.

In the bedroom, your blood cools and the heat razes your skin. You know how it goes, it always ends. You just need to get through it. Bite your lip, ball your hands, hold your breath, any way you can.

Tony takes you to the bed, ordering you around as he moves your body to his whims. Ass up, hands on the mattress, waiting, quiet, compliant.

He tickles your ass as he lingers behind you. You wince as he turns and gropes you fully.

“Be good for him, baby,” he groans as he pushes his pelvis against you, “I know you can do it.”

“Yes, sir,” you watch the bedspread.

You hear the floor creak. Tony stops you from looking back as he lifts a knee onto the bed. He grabs your skull and tuts, climbing in front of you as he holds you in place. He hushes you and pets your hair.

"Baby, it's okay," he coos and looks over you, "top drawer."

You curl your fingers into the blankets as you lean on your elbows. Clothing rustles around deliberate steps, a shadow looming behind you as Tony hangs on, keeping you blind to the other man.

"Baby, why don't you use that pretty mouth of yours while he gets warmed up?"

You push a hand up, clumsily picking open Tony's slacks, a designer cut like everything else. You tug at his fly and spreading them wide. He raises himself on his knees and wiggles as you eases them down, pulling the elastic of his briefs away from his stomach.

You shove the fabric low enough to pull him over the top, stroking him as he groans. He caresses your temple as your hand travels the length of him and back down, his veins throbbing against your palm. You shift closer as press your lips to his tips, sliding back the skin as you open your mouth around him.

"Mmm, yes, baby, that's so good. See how good she listens, honey?"

Steve grunts and something cool touches your ass. You whimper around Tony but he keeps your head bobbing, hooking a hand around to feel himself in your throat. You gag but hold it back.

"Mmm, she's good with her mouth, but you'll have to let me know about her ass," Tony hums as he carries the motion with his hips, fucking your mouth steadily.

The coolness retracts and cracks across your ass sharply. You choke as your eyes prick, the leather lashing again, biting into your tender flesh. You claw at the bottom of Tony's shirt and whine. Another snap of the belt has you shaking as your hand runs up Tony's torso.

Your tears leak out again, your body constricting as you try not to bite down. Steve lays another, full force and your legs slip you as your body contracts. You pull off of Tony as the pain overrides your restraint.

"Get her," Steve's tone is deep and rocky, "hold her."

Tony pins you down by your shoulders and Steve puts his leg over your thighs. He whips you again, again, until you're bawling and dripping with tears. He stops and traces a welt, blood leaking out hotly.

He slides his leg off you and exhales. Tony lets go and takes the end of the looped belt, angling it over your head. It's drawn tight to the buckle, forcing your head up. You sniff as Tony cradles your cheeks.

"Get that ass up, baby," Tony coaxes, "I know you can do it."

You shakily bend your legs under you and lift yourself. You hold yourself up on all fours as Steve backs away. Tony pushes a thumb against your lip and pokes inside your mouth.

A slippery cold trickle glides down between your cheeks and you flinch. Something lands beside your leg as Steve's hands spread across your ass. He dips his fingers down to smear the lube over your puckered hole. You tighten as he tickles you, playing and prodding, teasing as if he might delve further at any moment.

"I'll take a lot more for me to forgive you," Steve pushes his thumb against your ring, stretching you with the thick digits as you whimper.

"This is a start, isn't it, Rogers? I could never be that perfect little homemaker."

Steve growls and urges his finger deeper and you bite down on Tony's knuckle, the intrusion burning painfully. You suck on his thumb and bat your lashes, rolling your eyes back against the deluge.

"She's tight."

"I didn't fucking lie."

"Not about this," Steve grits, pushing in and out. "Hey, doll, you better loosen up."

You blow out as Tony slides back his hand to hold your chin. He looks down at you and winks, "Cap can be a big softie, if you let him."

Steve slips free of your ring and steps up, inching you back on the bed. His dick brushes along the curves of your ass and he angles it down between your cheeks. You gulp and flick your lashes up.

"Take it easy on her, can't have you breaking her right away," Tony warns.

Steve sneers as he edges along your ring and sets his feet. He leans in as you whimper, slowly opening for him. He doesn't let up, forcing himself deeper with short thrusts. You shriek with the horrid strain and reach back as you try to push him away with your fingertips, meeting only air.

He bucks into you completely and you cry out. Tony shushes you and grips your jaw, pushing you up to only your knees at the edge of the bed. Steve clutches your hip as his other hand explores your torso. He rocks against you, long, torturous thrusts.

You wheeze through your teeth, gnashing down as the agony stirs bile at the back of your throat. Tony cradles your face in his hands, resting his forehead against yours.

"Baby, you're doing it. Shhhh, you're doing so good. Isn't she, Captain?"

"Yeah," Steve says airily, speeding up so his pelvis slaps your wrought skin, "yeah, doll, so good."

Tony lets out a crackly chuckle, "see, baby, he loves you. Taking him so well. That's it. It won't hurt much longer."

You whimper and blubber as you clasp Tony's wrists. Your body vibrates around Steve as he pounds harder, harder, fingertips jabbing into your hip. He snarls and brings his hand to your throat, pulling you away from Tony.

Your eyes loll as he forces your head up, squeezing until you choke. You feel the bed shift and Tony's figure wisps by as he goes to stand behind his husband.

"That's it, Cap, that's how you do it. You see," Tony reaches around and pulls you back to your limit, "I need that special touch."

"Don't fuck around," Steve chuffs, "you're next."

"Counting on it," Tony slaps Steve's ass he he carries he eager motion, "better save some energy."

"I can do this all day," Steve drags you back and your feet fall to the floor as he bends you over the bed, body flush to yours, "til death do us part, honey."

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