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#mostly the really old digital stuff and a majority of the asks from a few years back
wolvenjay · 24 days
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I've been thinking of changing my username on my art accounts because "wolfgirlj" seemed a little... too obvious that my 13yo self made it.
I finally said screw it and decided to change it to 'wolvenjay.' If I find something better, then maybe I'll change it again.
Already watermarked posts will keep the old watermark, and I'll just be using a new one from now on. I kinda stopped wanting to make a bigger deal about something that is honestly pretty silly, so the change is now.
Now to actually draw...
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limeade-l3sbian · 1 year
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so this is a really divisive and complicated topic to talk about (which is why this ask is so unbearably long), but the furry community is basically the beta version of the trans community. it's why there's a lot of overlap between the two groups. predation, abuse, fetishism, and bigotry run rampant in the community, but they're capable of covering it up really well because a lot of people in the community have a lot of money and influence in tech, and they're really good at damage control and marketing.
before i say anything else though, there's something that is very important to clarify in this topic. not all anthropomorphized art styles are "furry." in fact, the vast majority aren't. but furries obfuscate this, because making claim that any anthro = furry means that a lot more people are furry by definition, and a good deal of them won't want to give up on their interests just because they "technically count as furry." they're not actually furry, furry art is all either fetishistic or directly influenced by fetishistic content, but furries obfuscate that distinction because it's really bad pr, and suckering innocents into defining themselves as furries when they're not is how they lure in people either groom into the fetish (for a bigger market), victimize (usually financially and sexually), or use as their pr faces ("furries aren't degens, look at this 13 year old girl who draws sparkledogs and this 24 year old person with autism with art inspired by vintage children's books illustrations!").
basically, there are a minority of people who genuinely don't have fetishistic intent, and were either coerced into the community under false pretenses of what the community was, or they lost a semantics game and define themselves as "furries" because furries claim that the defining feature of "being a furry" is "liking anthropomorphic animals," even though you can tell there is something distinguishing them from that if you even take a moment to look at the things they produce. the furries then promptly pretend these innocents are the "defining group," or at least neutralize the inherent fetishism in the community, as a way of deflecting criticism, despite the fact that the fetishists are the predominant group (or at least the group that holds the most power over the community).
to simplify it: "furry" is a fetishistic (or at least fetish-inspired, knowingly or not) derivative of art that includes anthropomorphization.
behind the scenes, there's a lot more going on. not just pedophilic fetish art, but there's a surprising amount of legitimate predation on children, as well as a shocking amount of zoophilia. a lot of this is kept quiet through use of encrypted programs like telegram, harassment / deplatforming / blackmail of people from the in-group they suspect might blow the whistle on the whole thing, exertion of digital power (you likely have no idea how many of the people who essentially "run" the internet modern day are furries; it's a lot), and (as mentioned before) disinformation campaigns where they advertise themselves as a "diverse group" of "mostly innocent people."
a lot of the people who separate from the group don't see the worst of it, and most will tell you that they left because they didn't quite "mesh" with the fandom (most people i meet like this are women who cite the highly sexual nature of the group). most of this stuff is only observable if you still have your wits about you but, for whatever reason, end up having the displeasure of speaking to many individuals from the community somewhat often (as you might imagine, this is not a common combination of traits).
they're not shy about talking about their paraphilias. very few of them don't have any. most of them are into things like bdsm, "little" rp, transformation fetish, gender-bender fetish (fetishistic crossdressing and "sissification" are big), raceplay, or humiliation. so far, i've not met a single male furry that didn't have cluster pedophilia, and about half the female furries i've met had cluster paraphilias, too.
they're a little more hesitant about talking about the shady stuff that goes on in their community, if you know the specifics to ask for, though. a lot of times they'll default to "erm, yeah, well, that happens, but, like, not all furries are like that, and bad people exist everywhere." it's not at all reminiscent of the direct-action attitude i've seen in actual marginalized groups when speaking about abusive people within their communities. they focus all their efforts on minimizing the issue or outright excusing it. the only group within the furry community who tried to actually put a stop to the pedophilia that i know of turned out to be a group of nazis. not "oh they're like nazis." literal nazis. there's actually a pretty big population of so-called "nazifurs." digression aside, the point is that the only ones who made any effort to try to actually clean up the pedophiles from the community were literal, actual fascists.
i could go into the worst shit i've seen and heard from the community, but i honestly don't want to get into it too much. i'll say that the accusations of grooming, pedophilia, and bestiality are not at all "singular, rare cases," though. they're in-community issues that the worst of the worst in the community will encourage each other to do and talk about casually with each other. it makes the standard coomer or domestic abuser varieties that are much, much more common in that space seem normal by comparison.
to cap this all off, i'll state a couple simple facts. somewhere between 71 to 85% of furries are male, and between 83 and 90% of furries self-identify as white. information on political views is to be discarded, because no studies like that one that was done on trans individuals (the one that questioned what they believe their political leanings are or what labels they use vs specific questions about beliefs) have been done, as far as i can tell. i don't know about you, but i've never seen a group with this sort of demographic that has been anything other than vile.
Well said.
I dislike Turkey Tom on YouTube but he has a series where he covers the degenerates of certain online cultures and (i think) he's done furries more than once. Needless to say, I understand why you wouldn't want to detail the worst cases out there.
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tophattrio · 1 year
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TOP HAT TRIO ARCHIVES: Part 1
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Warden: Look at all this lovely art of us! We could fill a museum! Professor: There's so much it seems like we can't keep up... Once-ler: ..... Y'kno what guys? I'm gonna take a break...
((A small fraction of my old old old trio art, most of which has never seen the light of tumblr (under the cut)! None of this is colored. Some of this is pre-blog or just... REALLY early-era Trio art, so some of it is... dated. Also, as indicated by the top, this is part 1. Meaning there will probably be more, LOL...))
((I hope it's okay if I ramble some fun facts in the middle of this!))
We're gonna start off with this silly lil doodle of the lads! This was drawn during the era where I did my silly crossover drawings, before I mustered the courage to turn them into an askblog.
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Based on the date, I must've drawn this next one while I was in the process of actually making the blog... potentially their original "profile" images? Or just a doodle I did to get me hyped...
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As you can see, all the drawings so far are pencil and ink... that's because (if I remember correctly) this is when I was VERY new to computer tablets! I felt more confident in my traditional art so I would slap quick colors onto the back of a bunch of ink-drawn replies and make minor adjustments with the tablet. I remember being hesitant to switch to a fully digital style since I felt the sketchiness was almost part of the style of trio? But I've come to accept change is good! Everything post-Greed M!A is all (or mostly) digitally lined (with the occasional trad sketch), but if you look closely at the trio in this (and many other) early-day responses, you can definitely see the pencil marks!
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Unposted Thneedville High Trio!!! I was SO obsessed with the Once-ler Askblog AU's back in the Once-ler Fandom's hayday... they were a lot of fun to observe on the side and I wanted to be part of that in my small way, but unfortunately, I was a coward so I never did LOL... I'm thinking this was drawn in February or March 2013...
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And, something I drew on the same page, Truffula Flu Trio!!!! I think I briefly thought about making it (and thneedville high) a sideblog but I felt like I couldn't commit for multiple reasons: (1) AU hype was dying down a little, (2) It was a bit too serious a concept for Trio; I wanted to keep them lighthearted and silly (covers bad end with a hand). And (3) I was still doubting whether or not my blog counted as a Once-ler blog (being only 1/3 once-ler) and whether I was valid to participate in events. Eventually I got over that fear when I joined Camp Weehawken and participated in the fandom revival of 2015, but the fear was definitely there at the very beginning and I hesitated to jump in on some stuff because of it!!
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These were some of my earliest (unanswered) asks! I think for a while I thought I accidentally deleted the Pinkie Pie one, but it mysteriously came back one day?? I don't plan to finish these but might as well get some closure since I already drew them. I had to look up which troll typing was the one being used here so I might be wrong, I know nothing about homestuck except chapter 1 and 2 and whatever I osmosis from my mutuals LOL...
Peacock was drawn before I knew anything about Skullgirls...... within the past few years I recently watched her gameplay/storyline! She's defs a fun character. Trio are probs neutral about her. I'm not confident enough to do anything major with her, but I would love to cameo her more!
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I got a few asks / M!A's about genderbent versions of the trio back in early 2013 and these were my doodles for that. The designs were based off of different designs floating around tumblr at the time that I liked. I'm not interested in doing this M!A anymore, but the dresses are cute!
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Some glasses shenanigans I never posted for some reason?? (For reference: (1) (2) (3) (4).) It's silly stuff like this that make me realize Trio!Professor is a little bit like "Cheerful Mystery" Professor but like... waaaaay more tame HAHA (I never read the manga back then because I was upset they made Layton OOC, but from what I've seen he's... a lot more chaotic there). Which, ykno, good chance explains why Trio!Professor stays sane around Once-ler and Warden and their wacky selves.
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Some wardlers and layclaires!! Also a few super old things I doodled out for Lovestruck M!A part 2 (including warden being a perv and oncie being flustered and confused, LMAO) but... idk if I have the energy to commit to it at the moment... partially bc thinking about getting an influx of shippy-type asks gets me overwhelmed and idk if I can commit to another magic anon all my magic anons manage to kill the blog somehow 😭, but ykno... saving the anons in my inbox in case I change my mind... Love these guys dearly regardless,,, <3
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Some doodles of Layton and his rivals!! I think someone sent a small "Descole takes over the blog" M!A (hence the itty bitty chibi head LMAOO) but (again) I don't have the energy to commit to anything but vanilla THT right now. I still thought the idea was fun enough to draw out and anticipate in advance! If I change my mind y'all will know about it...
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My first drawing of Wilson from Don't Starve!! I didn't even play Don't Starve at the time, but I wanted to do research if I was going to properly execute the magic anon and I fell in love with him immediately. Unfortunately he (and his game) became my new brainrot and I still feel really bad about that LAUGHS, but hey! Was worth it! Maybe someday I'll redo trio mods for DST...
I may have him cameo again, but potentially after his character update in Don't Starve Together eventually drops, of course, :3 chants give us lore lore loRE LORE-
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Aaaaaand that's all I'm gonna show for now... until next time everyone!
PART 1 (you are here!) || PART 2 (TBA) || PART 3 (TBA) || …
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oui1024 · 10 months
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could u introduce me your ocs? :>
sure!! ive quite a few ocs, so ill give a run down of some of the more developed ones! to start, (sorry for wall i am terrible at being brief) my main oc is a tall android girl named Dualynn (shes the girl in my icon!), a social android from the distant past that survived the end of the world. she doesn't remember much of this very well, so she's more or less taking it as a chance of a new life in the strange new world: one covered in ruins and robots and biomechanical beings, where nature and biology have become one with technology!
dualynn is calm, polite, creative, and more importantly, very curious, with a fascination in seeing all the new things the world has to offer, from the ancient to the brand new. she commonly seeks new purpose and new experiences. she's polite and cautious, but not at all opposed to taking risks if something piques her interests- ESPECIALLY when exploring! she's also girlfriends with my next oc.... ashlii! she's another main oc, and a much more modern bot, being a "nanomorph" - the name given to the species of bots that exist as a "digital" mind that use a "core" to control a nanite swarm and form their bodies! for ashlii, that's the form of a short girl with a translucent body and neon outlines that resemble text! she's highly energetic, clingy, and a constant showoff, as her unique form of existence enables her to shapeshift basically at will, something she loves to make use of. she's also incredibly reckless since her body makes her basically immune to physical harm. she and dualynn are almost inseparable! mostly because ashlii refuses to let go, but dualynn is more than happy to hold on
to round up the main ocs, there's also ana, a strong and quiet "reverse cyborg" girl growing her own body, being unsatisfied with her original robotic form and wanting to make something of her own. she's incredibly strong, serious, and disciplined, though she's not at all inexpressive- she just has to keep her emotions in check, as her own health can be highly sensitive to excitement. in private and in safety with those she can trust, she's very willing to open up and show her softer, more emotional side. there's also rosalot, a walking ink-based 3d printing bot thats a prolific architect- though also very stressed due to her work, having let stuff get a bit out of control and just needing some help getting it back together. hanging out with the other three has helped her a bit with this! finally, two of my less "main" but still major ocs to cap it off- lovesick - another reverse cyborg, a "failure" whose body growth went wildly out of control and gave her a massive, fragile, wormlike body, her human form dangling on the front as little more than a face (think like glados)... and also the absolutely sweetest, happiest person you'll ever meet! she lives in an empty bunker-city in the middle of nowhere that she uses like a massive shell for her body, and uses it to get up to all kinds of experiments no one else could ever get away with- safety's easy when no one's around!
john death - the literal, walking, talking embodiment of the concept of death, the grim reaper of legend and myth, the arbiter of the old death, in the "flesh"..... and also retired. or maybe on paid leave? he's not sure, death never exactly had "employment" to begin with. but he knows he's not needed now; the world he was made for is gone, and the new one has moved on to new forms of death. instead, he spends his time working as a farmer, a "gravetender", a storyteller, a car collector... anything to fill the time, really, until he's ever needed again.
thanks very much for the ask!! this was fun!! :)
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cyb3r-mutt · 1 month
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You posted an ask list a little bit earlier, so I'll ask a few. How about 1, 4, 11, 13, and 33? Sorry if that's too many lol, I can't sleep so I thought I'd send an ask. You've been a good boy answering my questions ^^
--Curious Fox <3
1. who is/are your comfort character(s)?
Oooooh ok so first character that came to mind is Frank N Furter from Rocky horror!! My most favourite movie and musical of all time and so naturally Frank is my everything!!! Truly I watch it all the time especially when I’m not having a good time :3 my second thought was Hannibal Lecter idk what to tell you Ive watched silence of the lambs religiously from the time I was like 12 so it’s another one of those things I guess? I just find charming cannibals genuinely comforting
4. which cryptyd being do you believe in?
Like all of them :3 but I’ll tell you my favourite is the mothman (would fuck)
11. favorite extracurricular activity?
Probably art!!! I don’t do it as much as I would like but i love making art!! I do mostly watercolour and ink or pastels but I also looove love love linocut printmaking and I do digital art when my iPad is not dead (it’s really old and the battery is super fucked)
13. when was the last time you ate?
About 4 hours ago lol! I had pho it was very good!!!!!
33. the last adventure you’ve been on?
Ooh ok I answered this just before this but the last adventure before that one was probably when I had to go visit this contemporary art gallery for my contemp art history class!!
We had to go visit it independently and see first of all I am not good with directions and navigation idk why but it’s particularly difficult for me.
Second, cuz I don’t drive I had to take the bus and the transit in my city isn’t great so I had to take like a bus, a train, and then another bus then walk a bit so that was a whole ordeal.
And then actually navigating to the gallery, it was in a shared space and since there was a bit of art in the halls I was worried if that was it?? But no when I finally got to the 4th floor I actually saw the specific gallery space so good thing I didn’t leave but honestly very bad signage in that place, not good way finding at all. My specific major is information design and way finding (essentially how space is navigated so think signs and even physical layout) is something we talk about a lot so I felt very judgey about it. The exhibits themselves were cool tho!!! Except there was one that was mainly an audio piece but one of the sounds I it made my skin crawl so was unpleasant to have to hear looped
Also eeeeeeee <33333 thank youuuuu I love answering stuff!!!!!!
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hitaka5ever · 4 months
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Been a while since I've posted anything here. Bullet list of stuff that's been happening lately
Got diagnosed with sleep apnea (my uncle on my dad's side also has it)
Came up with a shit ton of art goals for the year but haven't started (bc lazy)
Been on a watching YouTube content creators kick. It's still mostly video games (been watching lots of Gab) but I also got into restoration videos, particularly a guy named Chip who collects and restores old, rusted tonka and other vehicles. His channel is called Chip's Restorations and he's great (sandblasting away rust and paint is so satisfying)
I mostly use Bluesky since it's a replacement for Twitter and the atmosphere and support system is so nice. I originally wanted one to post my art to but I support lots of other cool artists as well
My therapy office has a program to help people like me get jobs with my specifications since severe chronic depression and anxiety prohibits me from being confident enough to apply to any jobs out in the public eye. The woman I spoke to is an elderly lady and she is super sweet, so I have an appointment with her next week to get the ball rolling
I really like my therapist. She's the only one I've been to since my high school days that actually does a great job at pushing me forward and giving sound advice. She even looked up and found a Zoom group for lgbtqia+ people that I could get in touch with. My therapist has been overly supportive and I appreciate her a lot
I decided to take on a major art project where I create an ultimate equine lineart pack that can be bought for $10, and there will be a free sample for those who don't have the money. It'll have horses, unicorns and alicorns, and pegasi in various poses, hair and tails, accessories, wings, and so on. I'm currently working on the sketch stage of the basic poses
I'm trying to get into digital art restoration but so far I've only gotten stuff from my sister since I asked her to get the exact dimensions of some kids' building blocks that I saw when I visited my sister's in November. I found a few antique-ish photos of people selling old junk toys on ebay that I can use for examples, but it's hard finding more
I have a rescue Pitty named Stella, who was born and used in a puppy mill for the first 2 years of her life. The family that originally adopted her couldn't keep her bc their youngest is allergic to dogs, so they gave her to a family member who couldn't keep her bc one of her boy dogs didn't like Stella. She got attached to me almost instantly, so she's officially my dog and I love her!
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I think that's all I have to report. I'll let you know how the job search goes!
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animalinvestigator · 2 years
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hello coda >:] riddle me this. i dont actually have a riddle i just came to ask as a newer petscop enjoyer if u have any fun petscop trivia? i literally just finished watching it a few days ago and i keep thinking abt it..on my mind..smoke the shit that made the pets scop
Hello! Wow welcome to the world of petscop. Sure, I'm not exactly sure what qualifies as trivia but here's a few things you might not know if you're new to things.
Something I find neat: Interestingly the majority of petscop's characters have existed for 10+ years across a variety of different projects. I mostly keep from talking about them because the guy who made these things buries at least one of them on purpose, but care& her immediate family has existed (albeit in a very different story with very different lives) since as early as 2009, while rainer and mike have existed since as early as 2012! ...we don't really know anything about the 2012 iteration of these characters other than it was mentioned but i always find it really fascinating that the majority of the characters are just one iteration of concepts that have shown up a bunch of other times. Paul, lina, and belle all appear to be new characters though! Which is neat.
Relatedly the symbols in the background of even care and that reoccur throughout the game are also old imagery from a former project, nifty (Which is for sure the reason why the nifty function in petscop is called nifty LOL)
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Nifty's a fun little game, extremely old though, it's really surreal to see the pscop tiles showing up in it retroactively. This game actually played a really big part in people finding out who made petscop; its common knowledge now but was purposefully obfuscated until ~episode 22 iirc, i was amidst the group of people who were the first to find out haha, it was the same night that pokemon sword and shield released LOL Chaotic times
Oh also, the song from petscop "explore" also showed up first in nifty! i like this version a lot because it is just grating as fuck. This song is like, 15 years old.
Ummm here's paul leskowitz trying to say pieces of paper
Jeez what else. Oh petscop is made very strangely. It's something like a "digital puppet show", where inputs are recorded and then played back and layered over eachother recursively to create scenes in pretty much every case where multiple characters are on the screen interacting. These inputs are also often reused, which results in a phenomenon where movements across episodes sync up in perfect unison really often, which is thematically powerful, sometimes relevant to the literal story, and other times just really weird. Here's a neat video demonstrating a couple of these. (this is only from the first half of the series so there's a lot missing.) It's a pretty powerful demonstration of how intricate the entire thing is.
That's just a couple neat not-immediately-obvious things that don't really concern actual story or game mechanism stuff , which is kind of what i took you to mean when you said trivia. hoepfully that was what you were thinking of? maybe you learned something : )
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phoenotopia · 3 years
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The Last Phoenotopia Blog Update
(Date 2021 MAR 01)
I debated how to open this blog post, but perhaps the main crux of this blog post is the best place to start. The blog is being retired.
The purpose of this blog was to be a "development" blog for Phoenotopia, and well, Phoenotopia's development is done. I'll still be doing bug fixes and maintenance on the PC and Switch versions, and playstation and xbox ports are underway (by a publisher). But I'm not going to be making any more major changes to the game. At some point, you put the paintbrush down and say it's done. Blemishes and all.
Recent Events
The game launched on Steam last month, and like any launch, it was hectic. Bugs Galore. This is our first commercial PC launch, so it was a real baptism by fire. Unlike Switch's one configuration, the PC has multiple configurations and factors to account for. The game needed to be able to handle multiple control schemes, screen resolutions, refresh rates, and more! I had a 60Hz monitor going into launch and didn't know anything about Hz (I do now). There was a troublesome stutter that some players were sensitive to that my whole team didn't notice since our eyes compensated it away. There were a few times where in fixing something at one party's behest, it introduced problems for another party. A few times, due to disorganization, I unwittingly rolled back a fix that was meant to be applied. For some, the game couldn't play at all (really glad Steam allows refunds).
It was messy. It was tiring. I.AM.BEAT.
I think the worst of it is over... I'll still be around to do the last updates and bug fixes, but I'm ultimately ready for what's next.
SO what is next?
What isn't next... is Phoenotopia 2. As you may have heard down the grapevine, the game couldn't be what you call successful. No one's earned even minimum wage on it.
Maybe there's hope in the game's long tail. A year or two down the line... maybe. I won't hold my breath though. At some point in the past few months, I finished processing (or grieving) and it's time to move on.
The game has at least earned enough for us to continue our modest operations. As long as we don't expand the team, and we don't take another monster six-year dev cycle like what Phoenotopia took, we can continue. We'll have to be smarter and faster. Perhaps the most valuable thing we gained from all this is experience.
The Experience
It is a dev blog. Here are some of the lessons I've accumulated from this game's development.
- Have a good menu design. Menus aren't just that in-between fluff before you get to the good stuff. Menus are KEY. Your menus need to be robust, expandable, and *understandable* (to you, the developer). Because once the game's out, you will invariably be asked to add more options. And if your menu design is bad, every time you have to add a new menu option, it becomes a whole new pain all over again. Support mouse from the get-go, etc.
- Focus on features that people will actually care about. For instance, I've never seen anyone praise the camera's zoom feature. In practice, people try that feature a few times and then never use it again. But that feature was a constant consideration factor for every level. Run through it multiple times to make sure the level didn't break, think about which zoom levels made sense, resize rooms because they worked at one zoom level but not the other, and so on.
- Don't do boxes that you can move around. Other 2D platformers avoid movable boxes because they're a huge headache to program and they really complicate the game space. Enemies need to respond to boxes you throw in their path and either navigate around or attack it. When you're moving the box, you have to worry about constantly changing your collision size and reconciling when the box gets snagged on the environment. The boxes were also a constant source of bugs because people can manipulate them to soft-lock themselves and more.
- More focused script. Phoenotopia's 100,000+ word script was panned more for being bloated than it was praised for being lengthy. Long scripts take a long time to write and make the game more unwieldy, increasing the costs of translation and upkeep. Every update we're addressing some textual error or mistranslation. There are some highly renowned games (e.g. Hyper Light Drifter) that do without a script at all!
- Be flashy! A bat and a lightsaber take the same amount of work to program, but the lightsaber will draw a lot more attention and interest.
- Slopes, surprisingly! Six years ago when I started, Unity was ill-equipped for 2D games. If you used the physics that Unity provided you'd have a really floaty character that wouldn't adhere to the slope when going downhill. There were a hundred different tutorials saying different things (use forces, use move position, use translation, etc). You can get rectangular collisions done in a day, but to do slopes took weeks. Meanwhile, games can actually get by fine without slopes. Most people won't even notice. Did you know the Phoenotopia flash game didn't have slopes? Neither does Hollow Knight or Rogue Legacy. You can save yourself a lot of work by avoiding slopes.
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(big entities look weird on slopes. Bad slope!)
I could write enough little knowledge nuggets like this to fill a book! But I'd rather just make the next game. 
So… what IS next?
As mentioned previously, it's not Phoenotopia 2. Pirate and I are mostly just tossing some ideas back and forth right now. We'll go silent for a year (or two). Our next game's scope will be more modest in some ways, more ambitious in others. It will definitely be more smartly designed. (There will be a map!)
We'll announce it when it's ready for the public. It might be necessary for us to do a kickstarter. I've tried to avoid kickstarters having been burnt on quite a few myself and also because I worry that mismanaging a kickstarter would earn the ire of backers.
But I did keep this blog regularly updated for six years. So I've gained some confidence in my abilities to at least manage a kickstarter well.
Is it really the last Phoenotopia Blog update though?
Okay, not really. There is some news that I'll need to announce, and this blog is one of the game's main outreach channels. Here are the events that will cause me to update the blog:
Announcing the launch of the xbox/playstation ports when they're ready
If a physical edition of the game happens
If a new language is getting introduced into the game (Korean is a high possibility)
When we're ready to talk about our next game
If (BIG IF) we begin development on a Phoenotopia sequel. I do want to do a sequel one day if we have the means and the demand is there. 
Those updates will be more on a "when they happen" basis, rather than me reporting in every couple months.
Fan Art
As always, I'm very happy to see fanart of Phoenotopia. Major thanks again to Pimez for collecting all the artwork from the corners of the internet! Since this is the "last" blogpost, Sir Pimez can finally take a rest from collecting the fanart :P
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ÆV made a series of pictures that tell a story. A Pooki is humanely sheared of its wool to create a hat. The Pooki is unharmed. Nice! Gotta love Gail’s expressions.
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Amagoo Mazeru makes a stunning landscape shot of a full moon and shooting stars. It’s a sharp and clear vector art. I like the faint glow of the moon and the fire and the subtle gradient in the night sky. Very skillfully done!
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Hah hah. I got a chuckle out of this one. I imagine this is how Gail's enemies see her by the end of the game. CaESar made this image based on TerminalMontage's famous youtube videos. Nailed it!
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CrownStar drew two pictures of Gail. I'm a big player of JRPGs, so the first shot instantly reminded me of Persona 4's art style. (Hmmm... Phoeonotopia as a JRPG... there’s potential there...) Next, Birdy is shown carried off after her defeat. I really like Birdy's expression here - she just seems mildly uncomfortable.
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There's a bit of a story behind the first image. As Firanka shares it, she wasn't able to defeat the Big Eye monster at the end of the flash game, so she believed a tall tale that what awaited after was a 6 armed Kobold boss. Hilarious! The second is a rendition of the lonely Anuri elder. A rare subject. The loneliness is portrayed well here. I feel lonely just looking at it!
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Koo_chop draws the clash between Gail and Katash at the top of the towers. I really like this interpretation of the game's art style. It’s faithful to the in-game graphics. And the lighting, from the glow of Gail's bat, to Katash's sword, and the lightning in the background... Amazing!
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Lime Hazard shows Gail with a salute pose. Very appropriate for this occasion. I also like how there's a slight tilt in the angle that Gail is portrayed. Those dynamic angles are always hard to get right, and Lime Hazard pulled it off very skillfully. See you next mission!
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Lyoung0J with a digital painting of Gail posed sitting on a rock. I like how it almost seems like she was caught in a candid moment - she’s smiling, but also feeling self-conscious. Cute! The art style really pops, and I like how Gail is sporting what I call the old anime style nose. 
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MyUesrNameIsSh*t with a sketch of Gail performing a skillful slingshot. I like how Gail is depicted with her tongue out in a mischievous manner, the way all mischievous people with slingshots do.
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Niitsu Kentaro returns with a 2021 Happy New Year picture. That happened didn't it? A New Year... Gail's pose gave me a chuckle with how she seems to be waving the bat around as casually as one would wave hello. And "Phoenotopiyear"... Well said! One day we'll have our Phoenotopiyear...
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Ochan Nu breaks all records with a stunning NINE pictures in one session :O
There's so many goodies here. My favorite would be the one with Gail staring intently at the screen - it's like she's looking directly at you. You almost feel uncomfortable.
Next, there's an Animal Crossing villager dressed as Gail and sporting her pink hair. It even looks like a house Gail would live in. Gail is a connoisseur of the arts and likes Mona Lisa. Yes :)
There are various comics of Gail pointing out Gail's weird food habits. A picture of Fran looking really cool, and even Gail rocking a bathing suit. (bathing suit image linked here in case NSFW). Wow!
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Pimez didn't just collect the arts, he creates them as well! This one, which he aptly named 'The Year 175' is a depiction of when the dragons invaded the towers as told by an elderly Daean woman. Great pixeling skills! I got a good chuckle from the ice dragon leaving with its stuff slung over its shoulder.
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Quo made a stunning picture of Gail playing the flute surrounded by the 5 musical notes and the Phoenix logo behind her. The theme seems to be "fire" and it works really well. Gail herself looks awesome depicted in her red suit - it's like she's leading a marching band!
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Rai Asuha depicts Gail in the late game with her red suit, and night star bat, and holding a lamp. She looks ready for adventure! I really like the white outline here and Gail's poofy shoulders here - the art style feels reminiscent of Final Fantasy Tactics.
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Seri also draws Gail bearing her late game equipment. Unique to Seri's drawing is how all of Gail's equipment is accessible from a pocket on her shirt. I also like how Gail is depicted with her lucky earrings - that accessory is often forgotten.
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Treedude depicts Gail with a bat and wearing a funny smirk. She looks like she's ready to hurt someone!
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Warotar returns with everyone's favorite Great Drake, Bubbles! It seems so happy to be featured!
I'm really grateful for all the fanart this game has received. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!
Closing Notes
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Pirate drew a picture to mark the occasion. It shows Gail enjoying a hot chocolate with marshmallows and a pumpkin muffin. A rest well-earned...
Goodbye! Until next time!
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scribblesandsorcery · 3 years
Text
Tagged by @celta-diabolica and @bedeliainwonderland 🖤 Thank you!
1. Why did you choose your url?
All the previous usernames I'd used had been based around fandoms I was in when I made them, so I was looking for something not fandom-specific that could encompass my current interests and whatever else I might get into. I chose "scribbles" because it covers both writing and art, and "sorcery" for the alliteration and because witch vibes have always been a thing with me.
2. Any side blogs?
No.
3. How long have you been on Tumblr?
I had an old Tumblr back in the day (2010-ish?) that I barely used, but I lost the login. I made this blog in 2019, but it didn't really get used until 2021.
4. Do you have a queue tag?
No, I still don't really understand Tumblr or its user interface (I miss the LJ/Dreamwidth system tbh), so I just reblog stuff as I feel like it.
5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?
Back in 2019 I was considering dipping my toe back into fandom for the first time in a few years, so I made a new Tumblr, but then I got busy with work and real life stuff so it sat inactive until lockdown. During lockdown I watched the first 6 seasons of The X-Files and became a fan of Gillian Anderson, and then I watched all of Hannibal on Netflix in like two days, and well...Bedelia is very much my type of character. And then fic ideas started happening, and that's when I started actually using this blog.
6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?
It's a stock image that I thought fit the vibe of my url.
7. Why did you choose your header?
It was big enough and the right colour scheme, mostly xD But also, Yuuko Ichihara has been a major influence in my life since my troubled teen years. She's one of my favourite characters, I RPed her on LJ back in the day, and she was the subject of the first fanfic I ever wrote, so it felt fitting. Also it's just nice artwork.
8. What’s your post with the most notes?
This shitpost about writing that I made in the middle of the night is the only post of mine to hit triple digits, and I gained four or five followers from it (doesn't sound like much, but I was new on here and had maybe six followers at the time).
9. How many mutuals do you have?
...something like 6? I don't know many people.
10. How many followers do you have?
About 25? And I think half of those are bots. I hang out in my little corner of fandom and I'm pretty shy, so I've only made a few new friends on here.
11. How many people do you follow?
82, apparently.
12. Have you ever made a shitpost?
That's basically what my Tumblr is for. I get the shitposting out of my system on here rather than on social media that has my professional name attached. Well, mostly.
13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?
I check in regularly.
14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?
No. I just hang out in my little corner, and most of my fandoms are dead enough that there's no one to argue with anyways.
15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?
I mostly ignore them.
16. Do you like tag games?
Yes! I'm very shy, but I'm always happy when people tag me in things.
17. Do you like ask games?
I haven't posted any yet, but I have a bunch of fic/writing ones I'll get to at some point.
18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?
I mean, I have maybe 12 people following me, so y'all are famous compared to me.
19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?
If we've ever interacted at any point, I am still thinking about it and worrying that I said or did something stupid/weird, so uh...interpret that how you will.
I tag @the-girl-who-didnt-make-anysense @ohhalefire @boojums-snark and anyone else who wants to play 🖤
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davidmann95 · 3 years
Note
Thoughts (if any) on DC's April 2021 solicitations?
Let’s take ‘em in order! I should be able to muster up a comment on just about everything one way or another.
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Green Lantern #1: Oh this is gonna be bad. Heard only the worst about Thorne’s Future State: Green Lantern, and I assume Jo Mullein’s DCU debut will be wasted here to either function as some kind of ridiculous ‘popularity contest’ with Teen Lantern for who gets the bigger push, or as a way to put TL over with a few “good work kid, you got a future” comments. Also, and granted I don’t know how Morrison will end or this will begin, is the New Guardians angle being immediately dropped?
Robin #1: Dope suit, art, and premise, but it’s Williamson so I don’t care.
Batman: The Dark Knight #1: I’ll read this and I expect to like it, but between this being Kubert’s first big Batman project since Master Race, the ‘old but not quite retirement age yet’ angle, and the title, I’m concerned the shock ending here is that it’s actually a stealth DKR prequel.
The Next Batman: Second Son #1: So they really are committing here, though weird that this kinda makes Ridley’s Future State book basically a longform teaser for this. And I’ll get it as it comes out since it turns out this won’t be in that John Ridley’s Batman collection after all - sorry Dustin Nguyen, I love your stuff but I won’t buy an entire trade of material I otherwise already own just for one new story by you.
The Batman & Scooby Doo Mysteries #1: I got that whole great-looking Scooby Doo Team-Up run by Fisch for free on Comixology, I should read that sometime and see if this’ll be worth getting too as well, because it sounds like a hoot.
Challenge of the Super Sons #1: Glad people who want it are getting it, I do not care.
RWBY/Justice League #1: WILL BE GETTING A POST ALL ITS OWN
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Action Comics #1030: His powers waning definitely won’t help the standard pre-run fuming by a lot of Superman fandom, but it’s an interesting pairing with PKJ apparently doing mainly cosmic Superman adventures so I’m curious where he’ll go with it. That it’s particularly cited as being tied to Death Metal might validate my suspicion that the new ‘everyone remembers their entire mainstream publishing histories’ thing will play into Johnson’s description of Clark really feeling his age at the start of the run. And Janin on covers even before he gets in on the book proper! And that Midnighter description!
Superman #30: This sounds like where Johnson’s gonna start with that worldbuilding he touted, and I’m curious; definitely reads in this instance like him shoving Clark and Jon into some swords-and-sorcery-esque territory he’s familiar with.
American Vampire 1976 #7: Not reading, don’t care.
Batman #107: I assume ‘the events at Arkham Asylum’ are the ‘A-Day’ ominously brought up in Future State solicits. Tynion Batman, Jimenez as the regular artist now, whatever the Unsanity Collective is, all entirely my shit. More importantly than any of that though, GHOSTMAKER BACKUPS. And drawn by Ricardo Lopez Ortiz, artist on Steve Orlando’s excellent The Pull! Dope!
Batman: Black & White #5: Any other issue and ‘Jamal Campbell doing a life story of Nightwing’ would probably be the highlight, but in case you somehow hadn’t heard Gillen/McKelvie are making their DC debut on a Batman vs. Riddler story here, absolutely wild.
Batman: Urban Legends #2: Even more excited for this now that I’m onboard for the Grifter and Outsiders stuff given how much those features pleasantly surprised me in Future State.
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Batman/Superman #17: Injecting it isn’t enough anymore, I need to be on some kind of constant IV drip with this book. I was wondering whether it’d take the premise to further generational riffs or follow a history of mass-media Supermen and Batmen, but instead it’s veering off in a direction I never could have guessed and I couldn’t be more excited.
Batman vs. Ra’s Al Ghul #6: NOTHING CAN STOP THE ADAMSVERSE. NONE MAY DARE TRY.
Batman/Catwoman #5: Wondering how this Harley involvement plays in - I don’t imagine it’s quite what it seems given how King’s written her before. And love that Joker by Mann on the cover, major Clown at Midnight vibes.
Catwoman #30: No reason to assume this run won’t continue to rule.
Crime Syndicate #2: Dammit, I don’t think this book is going to be good, but I’m kinda tempted.
Detective Comics #1035: Wouldn’t be psyched, but Dark Detective was another pleasant surprise so I’ll give this a chance.
The Dreaming: Waking Hours #9: Again, not reading.
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Far Sector #11: Sucks a little knowing we’ll never see that little ‘Young Animal’ label in the corner again after this wraps. At least it’s going out on its highest note.
The Flash #769: In a vacuum this would sound dope but I have less than no faith in this, and goddamn that’s a terrible cover.
Harley Quinn #2: I’m sure it’ll be fine, no interest.
The Joker #2: I wanna believe Tynion will be able to make this work, he keeps talking like he has more freedom on this than he has some other books, but everything about this reads like the price he has to pay for relative post-Joker War freedom on Batman.
Justice League #60: It’s Bendis/Marquez on Justice League, lots of people will complain but I’ll mostly dig it. More interested in Ram V briefly getting to write the main crew in the JLD backup.
Man-Bat #3: I’d ask why this exists - and as a matter of fact I still do - but checking out some of DC’s digital-first output recently I see Dave Wielgosz has something on the ball, so maybe he’ll be able to make this work? Perhaps I’ll check it out in trade someday if worth-of-mouth is on its side.
Nightwing #79: I maintain, this is gonna be huge. And clever move to make for how to justify Nightwing keeping up his standard way of business after Bruce loses most of his money.
Rorschach #7: A comic I will purchase and let’s continue leaving it at that.
Scooby-Doo, Where Are You? #109: DC’s highest-numbered comic (that hasn’t gone through an interim renumbering), astonishing. Not getting it myself, but respect.
Sensational Wonder Woman #2: Can’t say this sounds like my thing.
Suicide Squad #2: I’ve been swayed into checking out the Future State debut, but that’d have to really blow me away for me to follow into the main book.
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Superman: Red & Blue #2: Sadly if unsurprisingly DC’s clearly not stacking this with AAA attention-grabbing names in the same way as this latest version of Batman: Black & White, but there do seem to be some interesting names from outside the usual big two roster here. And the main and Bolland cover may disappoint but holy cow that David Choe variant.
The Swamp Thing #2: I have no doubt it’ll be incredible but time and again I learn I simply don’t have it in me to care about Swamp Thing regardless of the objective quality of the effort put into him.
Sweet Tooth: The Return #6: Another one I’m not interested in.
Titans Academy #2: Oh lord so this is where they stuck Billy Batson.
Truth & Justice #3: I continue to have no idea what if anything the unifying idea of this anthology is supposed to be.
Wonder Woman #771: Wonder Woman as troubleshooter for mythological mishaps isn’t a permanently sustainable or desirable status quo but I’m down for it for as long as it lasts if it’s any good (though that Immortal Wonder Woman preview...concerned me, in spite of Jen Bartel’s jaw-dropping art).
So that’s 19-23 out of 37 I’ll be getting - if DC’s standard for success with Infinite Frontier is the proportion of their line people will be checking out, I guess it’s winning with me.
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what2finish · 4 years
Text
KuraKaw Creator Post
(Auctions #1041, #1042)
Creator’s previous works: Here, here, and here
Link to GDrive Folder of WIP Summaries/HCs/Plot Bunnies Creator is Offering: Here!
you can contact the Creator before bidding at:
email: [email protected] discord: KuraKaw#3207 tumblr: kurakaw
Likes: Crack, Angst, Crangst (?), fantasy, mythology, AUs, magical realism or any form of modern supernatural AUs, literal fluff (cats and dogs and alpacas oh my), soft domesticity, squabbling like an old married couple, plants, pets, bots, found family
Do Not Wants: Graphic non-con, incest, underage or any such topics. Major character death (minor okay). Explicit nsfw art. Hard kinks. Gratuitous torture, abuse, or violence.
Preferred Charities of the Creator: Any
Full Charities List
___
Auction #1
Type of fanwork: fanart
Fandom: Marvel: MCU, Open to Any Fandom
Pairing(s): WinterIron, IronHusbands, WinterHawk, any combination of these ships or a polyship including any of these ships. Can be tricked into Pepperony.
Character(s): I mostly draw Tony and Bucky, but I am open to other characters
Rating: General, Teen, Mature (will not draw explicit NSFW)
WIPs/Prompts:
Series of digital food portraits: Pepper Potts in progress, open to other MCU characters
Hawkeye relief print: one or two color (reductive if 2 color) print based on comics Hawkeye
Acrylic or fully rendered charcoal/graphite portrait of any MCU character (open to Marvel or DC characters with facecasts provided)
Abstracted print of any Marvel character (that I am familiar with, 9x9 inches
MCU character with inspiration from tattoo motifs: one color relief print, up to 9x6 inches
MIT era IronHusbands oil painting (mildly nsfw)
Iron Man space tapestry
Art of any AU listed on my Fics Spreadsheet
Starting Bid: $5
Creator Notes: I really just love making goofy stuff with "serious" mediums. I am comfortable with a variety of mediums (screenprinting, relief print, painting (acrylic or oil), and drawing (ink, pencil, charcoal)). I am open to most other characters, for both fandoms I know and don't, though I will need more references and such for characters I do not know. Email or DM me if you are interested in this rather than something listed. I'm open to input to a certain extent! If you have opinions, let me know and I might be able to work them in. There are some things I will not do simply because I feel I do not have the skill to do them justice. If bids go above $20, for all prints, I would be willing to send one to the bidder; certain other pieces I would be willing to send but as any other form of traditional art would be one of a kind, please ask (don't assume). I would require shipping be covered, separate from the bid.
Current Bid Spreadsheet: Here.
Please check what the current bid is at before bidding.
Bids might take a few minutes to load.
Bidding ends on November 28th 11:59:00pm CST. The highest bid before that deadline will win the auction.
Bidding Form: Here.
Please check the Bid Spreadsheet and bid higher than the previous bid.
You will not be notified if you have been outbid. Only the winner will be notified after bidding ends.
___
Auction #2
Type of fanwork: fanfiction
Fandom: Marvel: MCU, Captive Prince
Pairing(s): WinterIron, IronHusbands, WinterHawk, any combination of these ships or a polyship including any of these ships or platonic variations; Laurent/Damen (Captive Prince)
Character(s): Primarily Tony, Bucky, and Rhodey
Rating: General to Explicit
WIPs/Prompts: Anything listed in this spreadsheet:
Starting Bid: $5
Creator Notes: Unlike art, I will not write characters or fandoms that I do not know well enough. If there is a premise not listed that I am familiar enough with to do justice, I am open to it. If there is a premise I have mentioned to you before that you are interested in, let me know. For Marvel, I primarily use MCU as the basis as I have only read a few comics though I do mix some comic elements in (i.e. Alpine or Lucky, etc). DM or email me with any questions.
Current Bid Spreadsheet: Here.
Please check what the current bid is at before bidding.
Bids might take a few minutes to load.
Bidding ends on November 28th 11:59:00pm CST. The highest bid before that deadline will win the auction.
Bidding Form: Here.
Please check the Bid Spreadsheet and bid higher than the previous bid.
You will not be notified if you have been outbid. Only the winner will be notified after bidding ends.
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masquerade-story · 3 years
Text
Chapter 1 - Moving In
"Whose dumb idea was it to go camping like this anyway?" Grey grumbled, smacking away a tree branch that seemed determined to get friendly with his face.
Walking behind him, his twin sister Lillian rolled her eyes and poked the small of her brother's back. "Yours. It was your idea."
"Oh please Crystal! Please oh please might we go live at the haunted house in the woods where we'll certainly perish! I, Dorian Grey Duvall, swear on my sister's honor to let you protect me!" Rayne fluttered her eyelashes, lowering her voice to sound more like Dorian. She yanked the handcart she was dragging over a set of roots, careful to steady its contents before resuming her walk.
"Has to swear on my honor cuz he doesn't have any of his own left after the last time," Lillian snickered, while Grey pointedly ignored their teasing and continued clearing the overgrown path.
Bringing up the rear with a digital camera trained on everyone's back, Crystal grinned and panned the camera to take in the large, dense trees, and huge, leafy bushes. "For a haunted forest, it's actually pretty nice here. Ah, more meadow rue! Specifically thalictrum rochebrunianum, neat."
"Gesundheit," Rayne said, eliciting giggles from the group.
"The lacy one over there with the purple flowers," Crystal clarified. "There's some rue anemone and meadow rue 'splendide' around here too. Don't touch the white flowery plant up ahead by the way, it's giant hogweed. The leaves and sap can give you phytophotodermatitis, making you blister up in the sun."
"Bro, how do you remember any of this? And as for you, you're a scary bitch," Grey cringed away from the plant in question while swearing at it, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at its pretty little flower clusters.
"I read a lot."
"Me too, doesn't mean I absorb any of it! I spent like six hours on Wikipedia the other day, don't even fully remember what I looked up."
"Was it about The Hobbit or Merlin? Cuz that's all you ever look up."
"Look, Lils. I know I'm walking in the front and all, but you don't need to stab me in the back like that. Also sometimes it's Pacific Rim, thank you very much."
"Was it Pacific Rim?"
"No it was The Hobbit."
The group talking and laughing were the self-proclaimed 'Fairy Rock' band Aos Sí Echtrae. Each of them wore a hiking backpack containing personal items, while Rayne also tugged along a sturdy handcart holding supplies and instruments with ease - a drum kit, harp, bouzouki, and keyboard piled up alongside some smaller instruments and the camping stuff Crystal insisted they bring along.
Though their banter was light-hearted and comfortable, they took their excursion very seriously. After all, they'd temporarily rented a locally infamous haunted house to use for a music video! It was a large investment, but they'd become popular online and had enough supporters that they were able to fulfill one of their member's dearest dreams.
Dorian Duvall, or Grey as he preferred to be called by friends, and his twin sister Lillian Duvall played bouzouki and keyboard respectively. Both had the same willowy stature, button nose and almond eye shape, but despite their similarities they both gave off very different impressions. Where Lillian looked soft and gentle, with large doe-like green eyes, and a kind smile, Grey had a mischievous glint in his hazel eyes and a roguish grin that he utilized with careless abandon. Lillian wore her sleek black hair long and loose, falling down past her waist and kept away from her face by a cloth headband, while Grey wore his hair in a high ponytail decorated with small braids.
As the one who absolutely loved haunted houses and anything spooky, it was Grey's idea to film on location for their new Halloween-themed album, Masquerade. Though it was the middle of July, they were hoping to get everything ready for an September promotional release before the album dropped in October, and so hurriedly set up for their video shoot in order to give themselves plenty of time for editing.
All four of them worked together to compose their music, write lyrics, and design stage costumes as well as fan merchandise. They also lacked anything resembling a lead vocalist, taking turns depending on what sound worked best with each song, and preferring harmonies rather than solos.
"Ray! There's a log up here!" Grey called out suddenly, kicking the fallen tree blocking their path. Rayne grunted acknowledgment, and shuffled around Lillian to help move the obstruction.
Rayne Rose played the drums, and also did a majority of the heavy lifting due to being the strongest person present in any room that didn't involve professional weightlifters. Her muscular arms were covered with watercolor flower tattoos, which she proudly showed off by refusing to wear any shirt with sleeves. Her curly hair, dyed a gradient of aqua blue and purple, was cropped close to her face for summertime weather. The short style purposefully revealed ear gauges and more than a dozen total ear piercings, matching the many piercings on her brows, lips, and nose.
The twins had fresh yet roguish charms, while Rayne had a more heroic air with heavy brows and an intense black gaze over lips naturally curved into an amused smirk. She dusted off her hands after tossing the log aside with little effort, while Grey panted for breath from the exertion of merely helping her lift it. Crystal, for her part, made sure to get the whole thing on video for future blackmail purposes.
Crystal Rose, Rayne's older sister, played the harp. Unlike her athletic and statuesque sister, Crystal was on the soft and plump side. Her long, wavy blonde hair was pulled back into a messy twist to keep it off her neck, the ends still pink from the last time she dyed it. Her face was round and childish, with bluish gray eyes above an upturned nose and broad cheekbones, unremarkable features made more charming by her innate overwhelming charisma and natural exuberance.
She was the kind of person that random strangers would strike up a conversation with, lost kids would try to hold her hand, wild animals would approach like an old friend, and when she raised her voice even the most crowded room would quiet down. She was also the kind of person who got carded when buying alcohol despite being thirty years of age, due to what Grey dubbed 'Acute Babyface Syndrome'.
"Anyone need to clean their glasses?" Crystal asked, pulling a cloth from her pocket to swipe hers clean. Aside from Rayne, who wore her contacts, Grey and Lillian both opted to wear glasses for the hike so they wouldn't have to worry about losing a contact forever if they tripped - a serious and ever-present concern for the slightly clumsy twins.
"I'm good!"
"Not yet, thanks."
"I'll take it," Rayne said, keeping her expression blank, and Crystal narrowed her eyes.
"If you wipe your sweaty face with the glasses cloth I'll push you into the patch of poison ivy over there."
"Ope, nevermind then."
The haunted house was a thirty minute hike from the nearest road, along a mostly uphill path that hardly anyone ever used and certainly wasn't wide or steady enough for any automobiles. By the time they reached the stone fence encircling the house's enormous overgrown yard, everyone except Rayne was ready to collapse.
"I'm gonna be so in shape after this if my binder doesn't kill me first," Grey wheezed, leaning on the stone fence and looking up at the haunted house of his dreams with a longing yet exhausted expression. It stood atop a hill in the distance, surrounded by several acres worth of mostly empty property speckled by a few large trees and scraggly bushes. Behind it was a small barn, a chicken coop that hadn't seen use in ages, and a greenhouse conspicuously lacking anything actually green. "A stone brick cottage in the middle of the woods overgrown by vines, a sagging peaked roof with exposed beams, and gaping windows whose panes are cracked like spiderwebs... Looks spooky enough! If the door doesn't creak ominously when we open it, I'm filing a complaint."
Rayne pulled the handcart into the yard, then glanced over her shoulder at Crystal, who was panning the camera up to take a wide shot of the house from just inside the fence gate. "How's it feel, Coco?"
Crystal frowned, furrowing her brows. All four of them believed in the supernatural after they all experienced several strange circumstances growing up, and Crystal had long proven to have abilities that most people would've considered fake nonsense.
She kept a dream diary after experiencing incidents where she'd dream events before they occurred, and wanted to prove to herself it wasn't a figment of her imagination. Whenever something weird happened, she was the first to alert everyone and get them away from danger before anything bad happened, and had an uncanny sense of whether people were lying.
"Hard to say. It does feel... Weird. The walk through the whole forest was fine, but as soon as I walked into the yard... The air's different."
"Really?" Grey raised his eyebrows, hopping over the fence and holding out his arms. He was the second most sensitive to any external oddities, with a particular penchant for finding rather nasty unexplained phenomena. After a few seconds he frowned as well. "No, yeah. That's a weird vibe for sure. It's like, the forest was fine and funky fresh, then you get over here and it's..."
"Musty," Crystal and Grey finished at the same time, and exchanged wry smiles.
"Could be trepidation from perceived fears," Lillian pointed out, gesturing toward the house. Though she also believed in the supernatural, Lillian also liked trying to find reasonable explanations before resorting to the occult. "The big empty windows feel eerie because people expect houses to be brighter and look more lived in, right? It's possible it's just a subconscious response to an old, dilapidated building."
"Dilapidated..." Rayne muttered, raising her eyebrows as she surveyed the house. She had a sensitivity to people's emotions and motivations, and could sometimes pick up lingering feelings from objects, but she didn't feel anything in particular coming from the building. "I don't think it looks that bad? We've lived in worse."
"It hurts me, physically, every time you and Crystal tell us about that kind of thing," Lillian sighed, patting her hand over her heart while Grey nodded next to her. "This place looks gross! It's horrible to imagine little Ray and little Coco in a place even worse than this..."
"Hey, they hired someone to clean the inside and arrange some basic furniture for us to use," Grey said. "It won't be fancy, but the interior shouldn't be too gross! And we'll sleep in the same room for safety! After all... This is the Corpse Consuming Cottage!"
"Ugh, that name..." Crystal and Rayne both cringed at the same time, while Lillian's eyebrows shot up.
"Wait, it's called what?!"
"Yup! Bad, right? But it's earned the name cuz of how many people have gone missing here. Poof! Gone without a trace! Every single person who's ever bought this place has disappeared, along with any family they brought along." Grey grinned, wiggling his fingers at his suddenly horrified twin. "I even made a spooky spreadsheet citing all my sources, aren't you proud? It's legit, this place is either hella haunted or hella cursed."
"Will we be okay!?" Lillian muttered, color draining from her cheeks.
"There's a loophole," Rayne said, and Crystal nodded.
"Yeah, we didn't buy the house. We're just renting. Supernatural stories are always big sticklers on rules, right? Chanting something three times, turning a certain way, walking a certain pattern. If buying the house is part of the problem, then renting it shouldn't be counted as the same thing because possession isn't being transferred." Crystal turned the camera to zoom in on poor Lillian's pale face, hiding her mischievous grin behind the lens. "Theoretically."
"Don't even pretend you aren't absolutely terrified too, Miss I Can't Go On The Haunted House Ride At The Amusement Park I Have A Doctor's Note," Grey scoffed.
"I don't like ghosts or wraiths or poltergeists or whatever wicked whatsits terrorize the night because I feel bad for them thanks very much, but..." Crystal glanced over at the house and frowned, furrowing her brow again. "I feel bothered but not... Threatened? Like there's something here watching but it won't hurt us."
"That's as good as a gold star to me. Let's crack this bitch open and make some lunch!" With renewed vigor, Grey fished the key from his shorts pocket and ran up the creaky old porch to the front door. "Come on in, it's nice and cool inside! Comparatively speaking, I don't think there's an air conditioner. Just fans. But it'll be clean!"
Like he'd promised, the interior was cleaner than the exterior condition belied. Furniture was sparse, but they were all fine wood antiques with a hand-polished sheen. Everyone dropped their backpacks in the foyer and stretched for a moment before getting to work.
"Water's on!" Grey called from the kitchen, where he set the tap to run. "There's dishes and cookware in here too!"
"Silverware?" Lillian called back, in the middle of helping Crystal and Rayne unload the handcart.
"Yup, as requested! I think they're all antique like the rest of everything here."
"Don't you dare break any antique dishes, Dorian Grey!"
"No promises!"
"Electricity works," Crystal said with some surprise, flicking a nearby switch after setting her harp case on the floor in the living room, alongside a towering pile of boxes holding personal things they'd had delivered via the realtor. She held her breath to listen for any crackles or pops, but the overhead light didn't give so much as a flicker. "Wires might actually be okay? That's surprising, this house is really old. Must've been recently renovated."
"Probably to try and reel in prospective buyers," Rayne said, setting down three drum cases. The rest of her kit was already unloaded, so she took a moment to glance around the living room with Crystal. "Inside looks much nicer than outside."
"We can make it look spookier with filters and editing," Crystal said, running her finger against the windowsill. When it came up without dust, she furrowed her brows. "They were real thorough cleaning this place."
"Found the terrifying cellar!" Grey's faint muffled cry echoed from somewhere in the house, followed by the sound of Lillian shouting his full name and charging off after him.
"Any cold spots?" Crystal shouted down the stairs after circling the entire bottom floor trying to find them. The cellar door was tucked into the kitchen's pantry, which was a full walk-in room rather than a little cabinet.
Since the house was so far from town, part of the rental contract involved the current real estate agent making sure the kitchen was stocked before tenants took over. All the shelves were packed full with newly purchased dry goods and spices, mostly sorted into pretty glass jars for aesthetic appeal.
"No cold spots, just some nice shelving, big old ground freezer and a wine rack! Fruit preserves and stuff but they didn't leave any complimentary wine. Zero out of ten, not recommended."
"What makes it terrifying then?"
"Big spiders."
Crystal grimaced and backed away from the cellar door, narrowly evading Lillian as she retreated up the stairs at maximum speed.
The house was surprisingly large. The ground floor had a large open kitchen with an attached breakfast room, a living room, a dining room, a sitting room, a study with empty floor-to-ceiling bookshelves alongside display cabinets, and a laundry/changing room attached to a bathroom with an enormous sunken bath large enough to be used as a hot tub.
"I would buy this house just for the tub," Lillian said, stroking the porcelain with obvious affection.
"Please don't," Grey muttered. "We're evading the horrible disappearance curse via fairy loopholes, don't you go walking into the trap face-first like that!"
"Fine, but when we leave, we're bringing the tub with us."
"Yeah sure that's completely feasible and not at all slightly insane."
The upper floor had five large bedrooms with attached changing rooms, two lavatories, and a walk-in storage closet. Rayne carried their bags into the master bedroom, then returned to the handcart to retrieve the extra supplies they brought - a couple of brand new air mattresses, blankets, boxes of instant food, tents in case the house was in worse shape than expected, a first aid kit, and little tools like scissors, binoculars, and lighters.
"This place is supposed to be super haunted and cursed, yet..." Rayne hummed to herself, patting the mattress in the master bedroom. Every bed in the house was neatly made, with clean sheets and blankets that still smelled like soap. "Won't need the air mattresses. They really worked hard to make this place nice, huh?"
Finally, the attic under the peaked roof had a few small gaps in the shingles, but otherwise lacked any signs of weathering or exposure damage. The only things occupying the space were a few cobwebs in the darkest corners. "Ugh, nothing for us to snoop through," Grey muttered, poking his head into the attic for only moment before heading back downstairs to start moving boxes from the living room into various bedrooms for later sorting.
Crystal and Rayne turned the fans on in all the rooms to start circulating air, opening windows on the shaded side of the house to catch any stray breezes, while Lillian and Grey got started on making lunch. The house which stood empty for so long soon filled with laughter, conversation, and the smell of good food.
"I just can't get over how unhaunted this haunted house is," Grey lamented, tapping a fork against his empty plate. "I've been looking and there's not so much as a suspiciously shadowed corner or creaky stair board!"
"Are you sure those disappearances were legit?" Lillian asked, gesturing for Crystal to pass the salt so she could douse her potato salad. "You checked the sources themselves, right?"
"I did! That's why it's so weird!" Grey drained the remaining water from his glass, glaring down at the ice cubes rattling at the bottom. "Other than the terrible cell reception, weak internet signal, and our gut feelings, there's really no sign of anything being weird. I was promised jumpscares!"
"You were promised no such thing," Rayne muttered around a mouthful of grilled chicken sandwich, deftly capturing some lettuce before it escaped her lips and hit the table. "The outside looks spooky enough for use in our video, we can think of this like a vacation and relax for a bit until we have to leave."
"There's a barn out back, maybe that's haunted?" Crystal suggested, but Grey shook his head.
"I already checked... It's clean as a whistle. No disturbed earth or rattling rusty tools or anything!"
"Would you feel better if one of us got possessed by a demon?"
"Maybe. It'd have to be a really good possession though, if you're not crawling on the ceiling I want a refund."
"Oh, you're paying us?"
"Hell no, a refund of my feelings. My feelings!"
"Speaking of feelings, how do you feel, Coco? Lils?" Rayne interrupted just as Grey was about to get dramatic. "That was a doozy of a hike. You guys alright?"
Both Lillian and Crystal suffered from several health problems when they were younger, and were still weaker than the average person because of it. They had to work harder to remain healthy than most people did.
Lillian, since her mouth was full, flexed her arm and gave a thumbs up to show she was feeling alright. Once her mouth was clear of food, she added: "Mostly just sore, but nothing a long bath and some music won't cure!"
"Coco?"
Crystal gave a start, realizing she'd been staring out the nearest window for awhile and tuning out the conversation. She turned back to Rayne and smiled apologetically. "Sorry, what was that?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine. Just feel a bit woozy, I think."
"Sensing something weird?"
"Honestly? I don't know." Crystal sighed, opening a can of grape soda and pouring it into her glass. "I still feel like we're being watched. And..."
She hesitated, then shook her head. No matter how Grey tried to cajole the rest of the sentence from her, Crystal kept the rest of her thoughts to herself. If she felt they were in danger she wouldn't be so tight-lipped, so they dropped the subject and started discussing their upcoming album instead.
After lunch they moved several beds into one room, turning the master bedroom into a big slumber party area. The rest of the afternoon and early evening was spent getting video and photos of the house and its yard, trying to find the perfect angles for use during the actual performance recording.
Rayne gathered some logs for firewood after noticing a fire pit in the back with some carved stone benches surrounding it. Dinner consisted of an open flame barbecue using packaged meats they found in the fridge, and a few veggies and fruit rolled into foil packs.
"We've really gotta thank that agent lady," Grey said, reclining in his chair. "She really came through with the supplies! It's so good having a fully stocked kitchen from the start, I was worried we'd be having pancakes and instant ramen for days."
"I'll head to town tomorrow and grab more meat for the freezer in the cellar," Rayne said, chewing on a skewer of chicken. "It's got a little variety right now but I'd like to stock up so we don't have to make as many trips. You and Lils might be fine with rabbit food, but Crystal and I need that good good protein."
"We're natural carnivores," Crystal agreed.
"Is there anything else we need from the store?"
"Nah, I can't think of anything. There's like, four entire bags of toilet paper, and towels and wash cloths and soaps and detergent and even pads and stuff. Like, I know we paid for the service but the level of consideration is really impressive!"
Crystal stared into the flickering flames, watching the embers rise into the rapidly darkening sky only to flicker away among the stars. The strange feeling she'd had all day was building to a crescendo, swelling in her chest in anticipation of...
Something.
Rayne glanced over, nudging her sister in the arm. "Coco? You're out of it again."
Crystal nodded. She opened her mouth, closed it, then opened again. Seeing her strange behavior, Lillian and Grey both fell silent.
Finally, Crystal heaved a sigh and poked at the burning logs with a long stick. "Remember when we first posted the video for our band? It was uploading and we were all watching the loading bar while holding our breaths? How it felt?"
"Don't get nostalgic on me old man," Grey muttered. Though his tone was teasing, there was an affectionate smile on his face.
Lillian nodded and smiled. "It was so exciting and terrifying at the same time. Maybe nothing would happen, maybe we'd be one of many bands that never got any traction. But maybe... Maybe we'd get lucky."
"It was kind of a relief too," Rayne added, gesturing with the skewer in her hand. "Like, we did it! We made our first song, and did our first video, and were gonna show it to the world. It felt really real right then. All our hard work."
"Yeah... And remember what I said?" When they all shook their heads, Crystal chuckled and poked the fire hard enough to send a flurried shower of sparks into the air. "I said it felt like a change was coming. For better or worse, something big was about to happen."
"Right, right! We'd either succeed in our dream or fail absolutely, with no in-between. That's what you said, yeah?" Grey sighed, patting his full stomach. "I remember. Man, that was heavy. I couldn't even sleep that night, you know?"
"Is it happening again?" Lillian asked, her voice even softer than usual. "That feeling?"
"Yeah. I've felt that way all day. I thought maybe it's cuz we never did anything as big as this, renting a house and doing a whole video shoot on location, that maybe I was worried about how ambitious our idea was, but..." Crystal bit her lip, poking the fire again. She made a point of avoiding their gazes, focusing on the burning embers and crackling logs. "I think if we stay here tonight, there's no going back."
Silence reigned for a few minutes. Then, quietly, Rayne whispered: "Are we in danger?"
"It's not like that. It's just... A massive change, that feels... Overwhelming. This is bigger than the previous time."
"Bigger than chasing our dream?"
"Yeah."
Rayne reached over to grab Crystal's hand, while Grey hopped up and sprawled across Lillian's lap despite her protests. He just laughed and said, "What's that matter? No matter what happens tonight, tomorrow, or whatever! We'll get through it together like we always have. You and me, sweethearts. Us against the world!"
Crystal smiled and gently squeezed Rayne's hand. "Yeah. We'll be fine, no matter what."
Once dinner was finished, the fire fully smothered and the leftovers packed away for later, everyone did rock-paper-scissors to determine order of bathtub usage. One by one, they soaked away their worries, changed into the pajamas they brought, and crawled into one of the master bedroom's beds.
As midnight ticked over, a single shaft of light from the full moon filtered through the room's lacy curtains, illuminating their peaceful faces. The sleeping occupants remained blissfully unaware of the tendrils of fog creeping along the ground, emerging from the forest to wrap the entire house in a dome of mist.
Several hours later, as the first rays of dawn burst from the horizon, they were finally awoken by a piercing scream.
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artandhuddle · 5 years
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Artist Interview with Daphne Hutcheson
Last week I had the opportunity to speak with Daphne Hutcheson, an artist I’ve admired for quite some time. Her work and knowledge in the arts has helped me, along with many other artists in the online community.
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Daphne Hutcheson, also known as @paperwick on social media, has been creating artwork from a very young age, with works in both traditional and digital media. Her work covers a broad range of fandoms, original content, and client based works along with some very useful and resourceful tutorials. 
K: I wanted to first ask about your experience attending SCAD (Savannah College of Art & Design)?
D: My experience at SCAD was tepid at best. The teachers were good, but I mean very specifically the professors who were teaching in my major, which was sequential art. SCAD is really not a great institute for anyone who isn't rich enough for their parents' to cover the cost. That's my biggest issue with it, they will cripple you with debt, so if anyone is lower-income, I would highly suggest learning via some of great online courses or using a state college's art program to sort of direct you if you need direction and deadlines. I know I need them. SCAD's loans are no joke. The college itself was very good my first year, they do a lot to make sure incoming students feel heard and welcomed, and then after that they really don't try for you. As soon as you're a sophomore, they could care less about how you feel to be there. Their class attendance requirements are grueling and there's no room for accidents--you miss four class sessions and you fail the course. It's wild, and even if you're in the hospital, those absences will not be forgiven. If you're late, it counts as an absence.I don't recommend it. At all. All the learning I garnered there is online accessible these days, one just has to hunker down, find it, and put it to practice. My professors were great, but no education is worth that price tag. Depending on your major there, you will be treated differently by the school. For example, their fashion and fibers majors are doted on, whereas a major like animation is ground hard into the dirt. There were unrealisitc deadlines to meet for class projects and kids would be in the school buildings overnight trying to meet them. Some fell asleep in their chairs and Paula Wallace (the owner) saw that one day and had them replace the chairs with far less comfortable chairs. Some kids had heart attacks from staying up to meet deadlines. Such a bad work culture of "all-nighters". In part the students' fault, but none of the faculty really stopped it or discouraged it, save one teacher in a different major, and that being said, that teacher still gave ridiculous deadlines so we'd "be prepared for the industry". That's not at all what the industry is like (discluding the game industry right now). It is truly a hard place to thrive and everyone I've known who has graduated had months to years of burnout after finishing, including myself. I'd hazard real caution when choosing to go to a private art college, art institutes included.No education is worth that amount of debt.
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K: Wow, that’s unfortunate to hear. I wonder if students are having similar experiences at colleges such as CAD or RISD?
D: I have heard very similar things about places like RISD and CAD where it’s all about the money, but I can’t point you towards any of the specifics. I really just want people to go into it with a clear head and know it’s going to be hard exiting. They really don’t prepare you for business.
K: What would you have done differently? Would you have signed up for online courses?
D: If I was to do it over, I would have liked to dive straight into developing personal projects, just making the work. Watching and reading free youtube videos and blog posts by artists. That would not have flown with my parents, they’re very by the book “go to college or get a job” type people. With than in mind, I would’ve gone to the local college I was within biking distance of as a sort of clean, and done fairly half assed studies by full assed my artwork.
K: That sounds like what a lot of artists, particularly those interested in digital art are doing. But, have you ever considered going back to school, or enrolling in a program or an atelier that you think would be beneficial to your art career?
D: Not genuinely. If I had time, I wouldn't mind enrolling in something that would teach me puppet animation, but between freelance and my day job, it's hard to find time to produce personal work and then also learn. I am pro-learning, always learning because that keeps your work fresh, keeps your mind sharp and ready to switch up on a dime. But course work is something I'm not super fond of, to be honest.
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K: I understand. So, you've graduated and are currently doing freelance work along with your other day job. In your freelance work, what kind of work are you taking from clients?
D: Mostly I do storyboard animatics for a few advertising agencies, but I do some card art for games here and there, like Companion's Tale. I just signed on to do some tarot card artwork for a company called Legacy: Fables. I'll take anything that sounds interesting and that I have time for. It's all digital; traditional art is way more personal for me so I almost exclusively make traditional artwork as gifts for friends.
K: Are there any particular fandoms or genres that you tend to work more in?
D: As far as fandom work and commissions, it's Dragon Age all the way BABY! It's a good community and I owe a lot to them. I'm planning on reopening my tarot commissions here soon once I finish up a few of my freelance projects. I am an old hat with fantasy stuff and most comfortable there, but I really want to start working on robots and mechanics and cities. All that sci-fi goodness.
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K: Wow, that's great to hear you've got very steady work, and they’re with industries and agencies! I hope you'll get to share that work once it's gone down the production pipeline. Have you ever considered applying for work with a company like EA/Bioware?
D: Yeah! I've lucked out a lot, it feels like all of this sort of dumped itself in my lap. My biggest resistance to applying to Bioware or any gaming industry position right is rooted in how they treat their workers. Bioware, specifically back when Anthem was released, had a nasty report come out on how management had run their workers to the point of many having mental breakdowns, and several just leaving and never coming back. They refer to those who have breakdowns while working during their months and months of crunch as "stress casualties", and I'm honestly quite disgusted by what I hear. I think once the gaming industry unionizes I'll consider applying, but the things I hear, not just about Bioware and EA... It's horrifying. Riot, Blizzard, Activision, Treyarch, Rockstar... the list could go on. Not to like tank the conversation into a dark place, I just have such strong feelings about it.
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K: That's ok! It's good to hear different perspectives, especially when talking about the industry. Alright, on to the next question. Looking at your work, from sequential narrative to tarot artwork, I’m really impressed by your storytelling. When you’re creating stories and characters, do you pull a lot from your own experiences and emotions, or more from other sources such as music, film, or literature?
D: Ahh that's a hard one. I think I pull far more from outside of me than inside of me.The way things are shaped comes from my own experience, but I think a lot of my content comes from outside influences, like movies, books, music, and art.Howls Moving Castle, the book not the film, had a huge affect on me and how light I want the stories I tell to be, but I think I have a long way to go when putting stories together.I am super empathetic so it's easy to take outside influences and really feel them, but also it's hard to tell where I start and those influences ends.
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K: Very well said, and the comment about the novel, I can really feel that in your personal work, especially your recent animated landscape piece.
D: Thanks!
K: The first time I came across your work was one of your Dragon Age tarot works, but also the tutorial on how you created them. It was incredibly helpful to me and I know to lots more artists. Your tutorials and words of advice have proven very successful, but have you ever received any advice or tutorials that really switched gears or level upped your techniques?
D: The answer is yes, absolutely. Let me see, I don't seek out tutorials anymore, but there was something I saw recently that was good. Sinix's head from any angle is a great approach to drawing faces at crazy angles. Also, check out Bunabi on Tumblr. Bunabi is so fast and her work is beautiful, and has great tutorials also, just incredible. 
I unfortunately can’t link to any specifics, but tutorials like this one do me a lot of good.  
People can just screenshot process stuff that reminds me that there are a million ways to approach art, like sketch up, grids, freehanding. I think I benefit from understanding that there are a million approaches more than following the tutorials super hard.
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K: Great,thank you! I wanted to ask a few more questions, one about your Patreon. It seems like the next big wave for digital artists. How has it been creating one and keeping on top of the awards, and is there anything you would want to do differently with yours?
D: So Patreon is kind of a basket you can fill with prizes, maybe some of the prizes for money (probably prizes for money), and that works for a lot of people. I have a more of a "here's content I don't put elsewhere if you'd like it" approach to it cause I'm inconsistent with patron pay-outs. Patreon for artists with chronic mental illness is a struggle. Hands down. I started one hoping it would iron out my discipline issues a year or two back, and it didn't. It made me feel hella guilty cause I could not keep up with what I said I'd keep up with, and then I felt worse. It was disastrous. I refunded most of the pledges I got during the three months I had it open. Then I closed it for a year and brought it back online recently. Now all my content is free, it's still inconsistent, but if people want to support me I welcome it. I think Patreon is a good platform, but I will never be able to use it is intended. I respect the people who can keep up with it all, that kind of discipline takes a crazy amount of strength of character, but I don't motivate with money very well. In the end, I motivate through helping others as best I can, so it'll always be free content. I have very few plans for it, other than I want to put together a brush pack and share it there with brushes I made. I just need a moment to sit down and make that happen. I've got a tutorial for using photos to make quick painted backgrounds too, and I just have to organize that sucker.
K: Thank you for being so open about it. I think what you're doing is so insightful and helpful in what you're offering to your followers, especially those who may also be struggling with anxiety and depression.
K: Can you share what your process is like from a sketch to a finished piece? Do you thumbnail a lot before, use references to build from, and so on?
D: I like to do throw away thumbnails on notepaper.
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And then I take those thumbnails and do a more thought out version digitally.
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K: Wow, these are both beautiful. If you don't share these with patrons already, I would! I also like that you've given each one their own color, a good way to organize!
D: Thank you! I'll make sure to share these, I forget about them genuinely. I'll diverge in two directions from here depending on need. If what I'm working on is simple, I hop straight into color. If it's going to be complicated, ie crazy armor, specific architecture, I will do a line pass first and then launch into color. Either way, this is where most of my references come into play. Once that is solid I add detail work.
K: Reference can be so important in art; it really can bring work to a new level if used properly!
D: Yeah reference is king. I use it constantly, even when doing the most stylized thing, cause there's always stuff you forget. The waves I did for my last card, I had reference of barrel waves up constantly, and it helps a ton.
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K: My last question is where do you see yourself in five years? I know this can be a challenging question, but if you had any goals or plans you’d like to see come into fruition, what would they be?
D: Five years? These questions are always a struggle for me. I try not to look past a week at a time because it's all so BIG. And my life has undergone so many huge changes in such a short period of time SO MANY times that it's hard to make long term plans. Especially when dealing with mental illness. So I try to think less about where I'll be in any amount of time, and more about what I want to progress towards achieving, it's a little easier and sets up less expectation. So this is not necessarily a five year plan, and more an eventual future plan. I want to have enough tutorial work to put together an art resources book/pdf online. I want to develop my freelance work further and create my own studio, ideally for illustrative style work, smaller animations, and maybe some classes for people interested in color and storytelling. I want to put together a small guide of sorts also for artists and people who need healing, since there's so many of us. That one is harder because it's an amorphous subject, but I think there's a lot of room for commentary there and a lot of people wanting to hear it, and I think it'll have to come from all those hurting. It's just a matter of how we'll organize that.I am a huge sap. That's my way. So in 5 years I'm hoping I'll be a better and more helpful sap.
K: Well, I hope you're able to make a lot of this happen, we need more empathy and help in the world. Thank you again Daphne for your time, this was really informative and an honest interview which I know others will appreciate.
D: Thank you, Kallie!
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You can find more of Daphne’s beautiful works (and tutorials) here:
Patreon
Twitter
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disappointingyet · 4 years
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Da 5 Bloods
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Director Spike Lee Stars Delroy Lindo, Clarke Peters, Isiah Whitlock Jr, Norm Lewis, Chadwick Boseman, Jonathan Majors USA 2020 Language English, Vietnamese, French (with English subtitles) 2hrs 34mins Colour (mostly)
Spike Lee goes up river
It’s funny to think now how adrift Spike Lee seemed a few years ago. Let’s go back only as far as 2016, when Chi-raq, after a token release in the US, took a whole year to make it to British cinemas. But then he hadn’t been big news since his triumphant 2006, when he made both a splendid mainstream thriller (Inside Man) and an epic TV documentary (When The Levees Broke). After that, though, little seemed to work, so he got equally critically trashed for a small-scale neighbourhood pic (Red Hook Summer) and unwanted English-language remake of the classic Korean revenge thriller Oldboy.
But Chi-raq turned out to the start of a revival. He updated She’s Gotta Have It as a TV show, and while it has had the odd dud moments, mostly it proved that Lee was aware of the changing times. Then came BlacKKKlansman, a good movie with a great story behind it, and Spike was truly back. And now here’s Da 5 Bloods, surfing in on great reviews and I’m feeling late to the party because I only watched it on the Sunday after its Friday release, and all my friends had already seen it and been asking me what I thought…
…and I have lots of thoughts, appropriately, because this is a long movie that is trying to do a big bunch of things at once, and one that nods to so many things, and – not least – is a movie coming out in June 2020 that features the Black Lives Matter movement. As with Chi-raq, Lee seems determined that no one could accuse him of being under-ambitious.
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And yet, after the expected context-setting barrage of documentary footage, we get what could seem the start for a low-key movie: four former GIs return to Vietnam for the first time since the war. This could be an African-American (and hopefully far superior) version of Last Flag Flying, a tale of old friends gathering a final time to share jokes and reluctantly confront their psychic wounds. I think it would be fair to describe that as just one of the movies Lee is making here.  
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The Bloods are Paul (Delroy Lindo), Otis (Clarke Peters), Melvin (Isiah Whitlock Jr) and Eddie (Norm Lewis). Temptations fans among you will be asking: where’s David? That’s Paul’s son, played by Jonathan Majors (who was in last year’s The Last Black Man In San Francisco), who invites himself along for the ride. The fifth Blood, though, is Stormin’ Norman (Chadwick Boseman), the one who never came back, and whose remains they are hoping to retrieve. 
The film hops between the present day, as the guys explore neon-drenched Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon back in the day) and then head up river,  and the war, as Norman leads them on a high-risk mission. The river trip is partly played as gentle spoof on Apocalypse Now, with the gun boat replaced by a brightly painted pleasure boat. But any sense of cheery tourism is undercut by Paul’s unchecked PTSD and his tendency to treat Vietnamese people as if the war was still raging (which it is, in his head).
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Which makes this a good moment to say that this is one of the least balanced ensemble movies ever. This is Paul’s show all the way: of the other Bloods, Otis gets a chunk of the story, but not much character development, and Melvin and Eddie are strictly in supporting roles. Paul has all the rage, and all the contradictions: although his obsession with Norman, who was a political radical, remains as vivid after half a century, Paul is now a Trump voter. The journey we are on is his as he is forced to deal with all the pain that’s never really left him. 
It’s fortunate, then, that Delroy Lindo is up to the task, and increasingly magnetic as the film reaches crisis point deep in country. I had been wondering if the movie was going to pick up momentum as the film ambled past the hour mark, but it does, both in terms of the action but more importantly emotional kick.
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Norman is also not a rounded character, but I think that’s deliberate, because what we are seeing is not a real person, but the memory of a fallen leader. The Norman his friends and comrades remember is a super-solidier, a martyr and a political visionary: he sits out in the wild in a palm version of Huey Newton’s chair.* In the battle scenes, the other four are their 2020 versions: I wasn’t entirely sure whether this was deliberate or ineffective de-ageing, but at the end of film they are shown as they would have been back in 1968.
Lee, who has always been a visually minded director, gives us a clear prompt as to which decade we’re in. The flashbacks are in the squarish 1:33:1 aspect ratio (presumably to look like a war most Americans watched on TV) and shot on 16mm film with saturated colours, while the modern day stuff in Ho Chi Minh City is in ultra-widescreen and in crisp digital, and then the jungle scenes are less letterboxy. (There’s also some Super 8). (And, as I mentioned, there’s loads of B&W archive at the start of the film, and some more along the way). 
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As we get to see him do both here, I’ll say this reinforces my feeling that Lee is better with dancing scenes than gunfights. (I also suspect the war scenes were done on a fairly low budget. It made me think of Werner Herzog’s Rescue Dawn). And he’s always great with solo rants, and good with guys hanging out. The individual Bloods may be underdrawn, but they work as a collective, give the sense that they have shared a lot of intense times together.
There’s a lot of talk, a lot of debate, a lot of information. For all those people who seem suddenly hungry to educate themselves via the medium of cinema, this is a three-course meal, taking in not just race relations in the US but American imperialism, French colonialism, US-French relations, and Vietnam’s capitalist boom time under Communist Party control.
 And, of course, the fact that it was the Vietnamese who suffered the most during the war. However, I feel while that’s the message the movie’s dialogue gives us, it’s undercut by the way that the film is shot and the story unfolds, which does (as academics say) ‘Other’ the Vietnamese. Maybe that’s because Paul is so much the centre of the movie, and he never feels safe out here, and as it happens…
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Three Vietnamese characters who get more than a line or two: Vinh (Johnny Nguyen), the old men’s guide, and Tiên Luu (Lê Y Lan), a former sex worker who Otis knew back in the day and is now prosperous, and wartime North Vietnamese propaganda broadcaster Hanoi Hannah (Van Veronica Ngo). And there are a handful of other Westerners: Jean Reno (as often) barely even trying as a dodgy Frenchman and three privileged NGO types (Mélanie Thierry plays the one who actually gets to say stuff): they exist for the dual purposes of plot and debate points, rather than being anything approximating human beings.
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But this is not their story, it’s Paul’s, and on those terms this is a grand, satifsying piece of cinema, filled with incident and discussion and music, one both bursting with things to say and inventively shot, and built around a towering central performance from Delroy Lindo. You won’t feel short-changed. 
*’They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old…’ etc
(PS: there’s a whole bunch of films this reminded me of, but mentioning many of them would amount to spoilers, so I’m holding off. Feel free to ask).
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venusxxlangdon · 5 years
Text
Hotline Bling
summary: Nothing foretold troubles when suddenly Michael’s phone screen lit up with an incoming call. Without taking his eyes off the laptop, he reached for his phone, thinking it was Gallant.
“Hello?” he asked
“Have you been a good boy?”
AU, where Michael is an art student at Hawthorne University with a penchant for rollerball lip gloss & fleece blankets and the reader, is phone sex operator who accidentally calls the wrong number
pairing: sub!Hawthorne Michael x fem!reader
warnings: dirty talk, smut, sub!Michael, mommy kink, humping
words: 3.3k
A/N: there will be part 2!
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Michael Langdon had been having a penchant for nice things for as long as he remembered himself. He was soft and delicate by nature, so it was no wonder that he enjoyed fleece blankets and scented candles, wide linen shirts to wear around the house instead of old T-shirts paired with sweatpants everyone liked, fluffy socks that made him feel comfy, warm bubble baths, and cinnamon French toasts topped with cherry jam or powdered sugar.
However, not everyone had the same opinion on his preferences. Constance Langdon, his grandmother (may she rest in peace), who raised him like he was her son, had been trying to do everything in her might to make Michael fit into her idea of what boys should have worn, studied in university, and done in their free time. Although, after he brought home his first high school girlfriend she seemed to stop being so hard on him as if the fact that Michael was into girls was some sort of a relief for her. The truth, as usual, was somewhere in the middle: Michael had no idea who he was into and preferred to go with a flow and take interest in whoever he liked no matter their gender, religion, and social background. He was not only a good-looking guy — the blond mop of short curls surrounded his head like a halo; crystal blue eyes, made him look like an angel; cherry kissed lips sometimes had a touch of a peachy lip gloss rollerball he carried in his designer backpack, resembled the petals of a beautiful rose — but he was also beautiful inside, despite a blinkered mindset of his grandmother.
When he moved to a small apartment that was only 20 minutes away from Hawthorne University where he was majoring in art, he started decorating the place to his liking: curtains made of sheer organza flowed down the windows like sea foam; the transparent fabric allowed the sunlight to spill into the room, bounce off the walls and flood every corner of it with radiant warmth.
The endless list of things he liked to do in his free time mostly consisted of going to the exhibitions and gallery openings, attending independent movie premieres with his artsy friends, grabbing a strong espresso on the way to class every morning, and dancing to his favorite songs while cooking. He lived alone and was comfortable with it because truly deep in his heart he was a loner. Of course, he had friends, take, for example, Gallant. A very extravagant guy he had met at one of the events and immediately clicked with. Michael did not know whether he believed in soulmates, but Gallant was definitely one of those people in his life who understood him and shared the same interests. However, Michael always enjoyed his time alone in the perfect world he built around himself and spent so much effort maintaining and protecting from people who thought that it was their duty to call it too “feminine”.
“Angel! I’m home!” he stepped into the apartment and tried to shut the door with his shoulder because both of his hands were busy holding a new print he’d got from Gallant and a paper bag from Whole Foods.
A white cat appeared around the corner to greet his owner who never managed to come home without a handful of stuff. He cautiously approached the print Michael put against the wall.
“How have you been, little guy?”
Michael found Angel a year ago on the way home when he was returning from a bar he went to with Gallant and his boyfriend. It was during the time when he was recovering from an extremely painful breakup with his last girlfriend. It was a complicated relationship from the very beginning, but he thought that his love would have been enough for both of them.
In the end, it left him drained out, heartbroken, and utterly devastated. So there he was young and depressed, cringing at the bitter aftertaste of alcohol, he drank with his friends, on his way to his small studio where nobody was waiting for him. At first, he didn’t understand where the tiny mewls were coming from, but as he approached one of the waste containers, he realized that among the litter there was a small white (well it was gray at that moment) kitten. Alone and abandoned just like him.
“I missed you, love” he smiled at the cat, picked up his bags and made his way to the kitchen.
It was a regular evening for him with a homemade dinner and some tv show in the background. He was sitting on the couch with the blanket around his shoulders and a Mac on his lap, working on a digital project for the upcoming assignment. Angel was snuggling by his side, snoring peacefully, and the light scent of his favorite 26 Santal Le Labo candle was filling the room. Nothing foretold troubles when suddenly his phone screen lit up with an incoming call. Without taking his eyes off the laptop, Michael reached for his phone, thinking it was Gallant.
“Hello?” he asked.
“Have you been a good boy?” the question asked in smooth silky voice on the other end made Michael jump on his seat. He immediately looked at the screen but did not recognize the number, so he hurried to bring the phone back to his ear and demand the explanation.
“Ex-excuse me?” he stuttered.
“I’m asking you if you’ve been a good boy for mommy today,” he felt the blush bloom across his cheeks not only from the lascivious tone of your voice but the words you were saying. What on God’s green earth was that?
It took him a few seconds to first, close his mouth because his jaw had dropped indeed, and second, formulate a coherent sentence.
“I’m sorry, I think you called the wrong number” he bit his lip and looked at the display once again as if the range of figures would have turned into something different.
“Is this strawberryboy69?”
Michael giggled at the nickname and put his laptop aside, straightening his legs out.
“No, my name is Michael, and who are you?”
You started scrolling through the data to check if you had called the right number feeling the embarrassment wash over you. Nervously you scanned the table of clients’ names, and your brows frowned when you found out that you had done everything correctly. Strawberryboy69 was supposed to be the same caller that was being on the line, and his kinks should have been “age play, mommy kink, slight humiliation, choking, and spanking”. There could not have been any mistake unless the client had told the wrong number himself.
“I’m sorry, sir. There’s gotta be a mistake,” you murmured still confused. “Please, accept my apologies, I-...”
And before you even finished the sentence Michael asked:
“Wait, was it supposed to be a sex call? Like for real?”
He didn’t know why he even asked that question, and why his cheeks were still beet red. Of course, the girl on the line was a phone sex operator. Who else would’ve started a conversation asking if he had been a good boy? He unconsciously ran his fingers through his hair and caught himself thinking that the idea of having actual phone sex really excited him. He’d never done anything like that, and it felt forbidden. Even mysterious, since he didn’t even know your name. He looked at Angel nervously as if the cat was judging him.
“Yes, and it seems like the client gave me the wrong number. I won’t be taking your time unless you’d like to try...” you lowered your voice to emphasize the last part of the sentence. Having worked for over a year in this company you had learned that if a caller started asking questions it mean that you got his attention. Even though this guy wasn’t the original strawberryboy69, you could try your luck and make him your new client.
Michael’s breath hitched.
“Um, I am really not sure” he mumbled, hugging the pillow and pressing it hard against his chest trying to calm down. “I’ve never tried anything like this....how much do you charge per minute?” he felt the thrill of the rush tightening in his stomach.
You smiled to yourself. You got him.
“It’s a dollar per minute, and after the 10th minute, the rate is 0.50$. Don’t worry about being inexperienced,” the tone of your voice switched from cool and professional to lustful and teasing in a matter of seconds, and that was what got Michael aroused. “I got you.”
Michael let out a frustrated sigh and flipped on his stomach, resting his chin on the pillow.
“Okay,” he cleared his throat, ���okay, I think I want to try this, but what do I start with?”
You leaned back on your chair and put your phone on the speaker ready for the show.
“I want you to tell me about yourself first. What do you like in bed? What are your secret fantasies?” you turned on the timer.
There was some mumbling on the other end, and you heard something like “God, I can’t believe I’m doing it”.
After a long pause Michael spoke:
“It’s nothing extreme”, he said, “I think I am boring, like...okay, so...I don’t really.. Oh God.. Sorry, I can’t do this,” he felt so embarrassed; his cheeks were burning bright red.
It was a normal reaction for the person who had never practiced phone sex, and you understood him. So you took the initiative:
“Michael,” you remembered his name, “do you like being in control and dominating your partner?” you purred.
Michael shook his head as if you could see him.
“No, actually, it’s the opposite. I like when my partner takes care of me. I like it nice and soft,” he felt his cock harden in his pants and instinctively snaked his hand down his crotch to slightly squeeze it.
You briefly made a note “soft, probably sub” on a sticker, brought a pencil to your mouth, and pensively started sucking on the tip. It seemed like you got a new strawberry boy.
“Hmmm, sounds good” he was making a progress indeed, so you made sure to praise him for that, “I would love to take care of you, darling. Tell me what you look like, baby?”
Michael felt hot. Suddenly the temperature in the room increased drastically, and he slowly started unbuttoning his blue linen shirt. He traced the tips of his fingers starting from the prominent collarbones and moving inwards. Gently applying pressure, he whimpered at the sensation. Using a circular motion, he splayed his hand out gently across his chest and brought his fingers together at the pink nipple.
“I’m tall, and that’s why I’m always slouching. My grandma used to be so mad at me for not being able to sit straight, and-...” he paused suddenly realizing what he was saying. “God, I’m sorry, that was absolutely unsexy. I don’t know why I even said that...”
You couldn’t help yourself and giggled in response.
“It’s okay, darling” you hurried to reassure him, “feel free to share whatever you like. I’m listening.”
Michael buried his face in the pillow.
“Okay, okay,” he muttered, “I’m blond, curly-haired, and I have blue eyes, what else...”
You didn’t doubt that he was actually describing himself even though he could have pretended to be whoever he wanted. Most of your clients usually told you that they looked like models or actors, everyone was “tall, skinny, with big 11-inch dick (yes, sure), and pornographic boobs.” You couldn’t blame them for that because it was their fantasy and they had every right to dream about it.
“Baby, you are so pretty,” you told him, “let me lace my fingers through your curls and slightly tug on them so I could kiss that pretty neck of yours.”
Michael involuntary bucked his hips forward, grinding his clothed cock against the sofa.
“I-I-I love neck kisses,” he whispered feeling hot flush wash over him. “And love bites.”
You hummed approvingly. Slowly, step by step, you were going to bring him out from his comfort zone.
“That’s wonderful, kitten” you said twisting a strand of your hair around your finger, “imagine my full lips on your neck. Kissing and sucking on the tender skin. I’d slowly run the tip of my tongue across your throat and bite on your collarbones, mark you as mine. Are you mine, darling?”
You heard a quiet whimper on the other side. Michael’s hand passed the hem of his pants and sneaked inside to wrap around his half-hard cock. His mouth dropped open at the feeling of the velvet skin around the glistening head under his touch.
“Yes, I’d like to be yours.”
“That’s my good boy,” you cooed, “now I want to you touch yourself, baby,” it was like you were reading his mind, and Michael squeezed at the base of his shaft imagining that you were actually watching him.
“Already”, he said brokenly, moving his hand up and down his length smearing the precum.
“You are doing so well, love.” Having worked as a phone sex operator for quite a while, you stopped getting off with your clients, but this time it was different. Maybe it was Michael’s inexperience that got you, or his low, silky voice that sounded hot even when he was apologizing for the unnecessary things, or his appearance that he described. You imagined how nice it would be to have a blond, curly-haired boy on your lap, all flushed with embarrassment and arousal. You started circling your clit with the tips of your fingers through the denim fabric.
“Imagine sitting on my lap, baby,” you couldn’t hold yourself back and miss out on the opportunity to act out that fantasy of yours. “All desperate for me. Rutting your hips back and forth, as my hands cup your ass and squeeze it. Hard.”
Michael’s eyes fluttered open; he lifted his head from the pillow and threw it back at the thought of straddling your thighs, moaning loudly.
“Ugh, please” he whined, jerking himself off. The rough material of the sofa didn’t provide the friction he wanted, and he howled in frustration. “It’s not enough, it’s not enough, please..” he muttered.
You closed your eyes.
“Baby, I want you to take a blanket and put it between your thighs for me. Tell me when you are ready.”
Michael’s trembling hands reached out for his favorite fleece blanket, crumpled it hurriedly and placed it between his thighs. He hooked the waistband of his pants and yanked them down his long legs along with his boxers. A broken moan slipped of his tongue when the tip of his cock brushed against the fuzzy fabric.
“Ready, sweetheart?” you wondered in anticipation. The sweet little mewls escaping the boy’s mouth were driving you crazy. Your pussy was throbbing at the thought of ruining him, messing up his curls, and making those blue eyes water with the unbearable neediness.
“Y-yes”, Michael answered waiting for the next order.
“Now I want you to slowly start humping it”, you said, voice dripping with seduction, “while thinking of my hands sliding down your body, caressing every inch of the exposed skin. C’mon, move your hips in circles.”
His skin felt like it was on fire. His abdomen tensed as he started drawing figure eight with his hips, and he had to bite at the corner of the pillow to muffle his moans.
“Let me hear you,” you whispered while rubbing your clit, “God, I wish I could see you. Tell me how does humping feel, hmm?”
Michael moaned in response. His long fingers formed a fist around the tip of his cock and started sliding up and down the length, matching the thrusts of his hips.
“Feels so good”, he murmured. He licked his dry lips and sighed heavily before asking, “could you, please...argh...” Michael hissed when he accidentally slid his thumb along the slit, “Please...”
“What do you want, Michael?” you urged him to speak up.
“When you asked if I’d been a good boy”, he couldn’t believe he was actually about to ask for that, “you called yourself mommy, and I really liked it,” he rolled his head to the side feeling so damn embarrassed and pathetic.
“Oh, baby,” the boy was insufferable. You spread your pussy and inserted two fingers simultaneously, pumping them in and out, “imagine that it’s mommy’s cunt is clenching around your cock.”
Michael was on all fourth, jerking himself off violently. When a sinful “mommy” rolled off your lips, he bit on his knuckles trying to suppress a desperate squeak.
“I told you not to hold your moans in,” his heart skipped a beat when he heard the stern tone of your voice. “If you want to be quite so desperately, open your mouth and start sucking on your fingers.”
And he obeyed like a good boy. Michael brought his free hand to his lips and stuck his tongue out to lick at the tips of his fingers.
“That’s a good boy”, you moaned at the sloppy sound of his lips sucking on his digits. “Keep going.”
You hoped that he was getting close because your own orgasm started building up inside you with every push of your fingers.
“Mommy, I’m close,” you smiled at Michael’s whimpers. You were definitely in sync.
“I know, baby”, you squeezed your thighs flexing your pelvic floor muscles. “Mommy’s close, too.”
“Please, may I come?” he pleaded, and who were you to refuse him?
“Cum for me, kitten,” you moaned feeling your orgasm unfold, and flooding every cell of your body. “My pretty boy, you’ve been so, so good.”
With a broken cry, Michael let go, and came in his fist, staining his blanket with white stripes despite his attempts not to make it messy. You wished you could have seen his face. Fuck, for the first time you actually wondered what your client looked like.
Michael rolled over on his back. Coming down from his high, he felt ethereal. Starting at the ceiling, he couldn’t believe that a stranger had made him come so hard. He looked at his sticky hand and closed his eyes. Holly shit.
“Thank you,” he whispered and heard your soft chuckle.
“The pleasure was all mine,” you said with a smile and quietly whimpered at the feeling of dump panties between your legs.
You should have already thanked Michael for the call, charged for his time, and hung up, but instead, you were still on the phone with him.
“Hey, listen,” Michael cleared his throat, “is there any way I can contact you later?”
A wide grin spread across your lips.
“Yes, you can use this number. I work from 8 to 11pm.”
You were not going to make it easy for him.
Taglist: @langdons-rep @babypinkstyles94 @sammythankyou @kaigitana @ms-mead @sebastianshoe @langdonsdemon @iloveziggystardust @chaoticevillangdon @sojournmichael @sloppy-little-witch-bitch26 @theghostoflangdon @divinelangdon @avesatanormalpeoplescareme @ticklish-leafy-plant @bbyduncan
People who might like it: @ccodyfern @1-800-bitchcraft @ritualmichael @wroteclassicaly
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hannahmcne · 4 years
Text
Mommy Grew Up Different - Multiplications
"Alright Zach, what's three times two?" Ben asks his three-year-old son, kneeling down beside his bed and smiling as the child counts on his pudgy toddler fingers.
"Six," Zach replies and looks at Ben expectantly. Ben's smile stretches even wider.
"That's right!" He applauds, holding a hand up for a high-five. "What's six times three?"
That was a harder one, but they'd gradually been moving into bigger numbers the last few weeks. Zach furrows his brow. He counts on his fingers, folds his arms across his chest, and then analyzes his covers in deep thought. Ben hears a noise from the hallway and briefly looks over to see Mal leaning against the doorway, furrowing her brow the same Zach is as she listens. She must have already finished putting their other son, Tyler, to bed. That means he's running behind.
"Eighteen," Zach replies, brightening up as he remembers the answer.
Ben laughs. "That's right!" He exclaims and then pushes up off the floor to sit beside the small child on the bed. Zach scoots over against the wall and pats his blue striped sheets, indicating Ben can move forward. Ben chuckles and reaches across the bed to pick up the book his son had picked out. "Alright, champ, are we reading about Rapunzel and Eugene tonight, or are we - what's this?" Ben raises an eyebrow as Zach reaches out for the thick book in excitement.
"It's my word book," Zach explains, snuggling into his pillow and opening it up. "Aunt Jane said all the kids in the high schools get one, and she gave me this one to keep. See? My name is on it." He holds the book close to his nose, flips through the pages, and takes a deep inhale. "It smells like a good book," he mumbles as he curls into Ben's side. "She said it'd help me learn new words."
"It's called a dictionary," Ben raises an eyebrow, fighting a little smile as he looks up to see Mal still looking at them confusedly in the doorway. "Dad used to read through this when he was younger too. Not as young as you, though. You can look through it to find words you don't know or go through and see which ones you do know."
Zach nods, opens to the first page, and skims down the entries. He skips over the letter 'A's and goes straight for the first long word he sees. "Aardvark," he announces, nuzzling his sandy blonde hair into Ben's side as Ben leans back against the headboard and starts combing his fingers through Zach's hair. "An animal with a long snout and a long sticky tongue that feeds mostly on termites and is active at night." He looks up at Ben with his finger on that last description. "That means they're nocturnal like cats, right?"
Ben chuckles. He can't believe how much his son knows. He's well aware it isn't normal for a kid to be this knowledgeable, but he isn't going to we complain too much. It's nice to have someone to talk to like this. "That's right," He agrees. "Like cats and snakes and lizards and things."
"It must live in a hot climate," Zach reasons. "And it moves at night when it's not so hot."
Ben hears Mal shift in the doorway and he glances up to see she's dropped her hands in something like surprise. He smiles up at her, and though he can't see her expression, he figures it must be something like pride. She hasn't been able to come in to help him put Zach to sleep the last few months as Tyler tends to turn his furniture into animals when he's anxious for bedtime and she usually has to round up and return a herd or two to its original form. Zach, however, doesn't have magic and prefers reading aloud to his parents as part of his bedtime routine, so that's pretty easy for Ben to cover as Mal tried to calm Tyler down. However, he was exhausted tonight, so Mal gets to listen in on what he and Tyler usually work on in the evenings.
"Abacus," Zach reads. "An instrument for doing arithmetic by sliding counters along rods or in grooves."
Ben puts his finger down on the word 'arithmetic'. "What's that mean, champ?" He asks.
"Math," Zach shrugs. "It's like what we've been working on. Multiplications. Like two times two and six times six."
"Which is?" Ben prompts, and Zach puts the book down to tap his index fingers together.
"Four and thirty-six," Zach announces. "Which together are forty."
"Good job," Ben smiles over at Mal. She is standing very still in the doorway, and he can't tell if she's breathing or not. Zach keeps reading, mumbling by his side, and Mal slowly creeps into the room to hover by the foot of the bed. Zach finishes reading about 'abolitionist' and then reaches for a pencil on his headboard to circle the word, indicating he's interested in learning more about it. Ben isn't surprised - it's the same kind of concept he lives for. He leans forward to take Mal's hand and it's then that he realizes her face is drawn and taut and she's staring down at the book in Zach's lap like it's an evil thing she doesn't want around her son. Ben frowns. "What's wrong?" He asked.
Zach looks up immediately and sets the pencil and book aside. "Mommy..." He whines, leaning on his knees with his arms outstretched. "Are you feeling sad?"
"No, baby," Mal smiles a little tight, scared smile. He knows the look, but he hasn't seen it for a while. Not since Zach was born. There's the occasional exception - when their toddlers go near stairs or when they first started standing or when Ben tosses them into the air, but for the most part, he doesn't see the 'I don't like this at all' face. She takes Zach into her arms and hugs him tightly, and Ben tilts his head at her while Zach's head is turned away. She ignores him, which raises Ben's concern even more.
Ben puts a hand on Zach's back. "Bud, it's time for bed," he announces. "I'll read more of your new dictionary with you tomorrow, but Mom and Dad had a long day today. You can stay up a little longer and read, or you can go to bed now."
"I'll go to bed," Zach yawns. He climbs back into his covers and then pushes the dictionary away. "You can answer my questions later." Ben snorts, pulls the covers up around the little three-year-old, and then kisses his hair as Zach closes his eyes. He and Mal walk to the door, glancing back every so often as parents are wont to do. Ben lets her into the hall before him, shuts the door softly, and then turns with an open mouth to reask Mal what happened. He doesn't get a syllable out before she's practically exploded into rushed whispers.
"You're doing multiplication with him?" She demands, clutching her hair. "And he's reading a dictionary? He's four! He's not even four - he'll be four in three months! How long has this been going on?"
Ben blinks. "Is it a problem?" He asks. "You already knew he liked reading."
"Well, I mean, I'm glad that he's smart and everything, but..." Mal chews on her lip with wide eyes darting back and forth without landing on him. "Don't you think he's too young?"
"He's gifted," Ben shrugs. "I have no idea where he gets it from, but he catches on so quickly. We've been doing multiplication together now for almost two weeks. I'm trying to get him to learn his fours and sixes."
"I thought you were doing additions?" Mal questions, biting her lip and turning from one side to the other as if she can't decide which direction she wants to go. "I thought you were going to be starting subtractions once he got the hang of it."
"We did," Ben shrugged. "He caught on really fast. He can do two-digit addition and subtractions in his head and everything else on paper. So I moved to multiplication." He catches her hand as she spins around in a frantic circle. "Hey - what's the issue here? He's smart, so what?"
Mal rips her hand free only to wave it in front of her like she burned it and she's trying to shake off the pain. "I don't know that stuff, Ben!" She snaps in a whisper. "What's a noc- a n- an animal at night! and multiplication is like... second grade here, right?"
"Third," Ben corrects quietly.
"That's not better!" Mal snaps. "Why is he growing up so fast? Why is he learning so much? I mean, I'm happy - I am! He's such a brilliant, perfect boy, but he's going to grow up thinking I'm a dunce because I can't answer any of those questions!"
"You can't answer what six times six is?" Ben drawls slowly, though he understands her panic now. Auradon schooling system is intimidating enough to Mal, whose Dragon Hall classes barely taught them to read and write. If not for Yen Sid, the vast majority of Island Children would have had to retake elementary courses in High school, and some of them still can't read or write.
"Of course I can!" Mal snaps. "But... but... he's going this fast and he's just going to keep going! I just had my baby Ben - I don't want him to be big yet!"
"You're not going to lose him," Ben tells her, taking her hands and squeezing them tightly. "Mal, he adores you. Did you see how sad he got when he thought you were sad in there? You're his whole world. He and Tyler both think you're the literal sun." He drags her into his arms and lets her claw around at his collarbone for a hold before wrapping her hands around his back and letting out a little breath.
She's a good mom. She lifts Zach up to pick books off of higher shelves and retrieves toys that Tyler likes to hurl across the room and she lets all three of them - Ben included - curl into her when they watch movies together and she's the stabilizing rock that holds his little family together. But he gets how this scares her. After all, Zach won't be little forever, and his questions are only going to get more complex and hard to answer.
________________________________________________________________
Tyler gets a little older to where he's now three and Zach is four and Tyler is no longer attempting to create a zoo in his bedroom before bedtime. Ben and Mal start rotating again, and Mal learns very quickly that Zach's bedtime routine is now very far out of her depth. A stack of various encyclopedias - some children's and some not - sit beside his bed with his dog-eared and marked-up dictionary in a prized position on his headboard. She manages to help her baby get through brushing teeth and pajamas without fumbling too much, but then Zach is curling up into his pillow and pulling the blue comforter he got at Christmastime around his shoulders as Mal skins the spines of the encyclopedias for something she recognizes. "The Plant World", one reads. "How Government Works - for children", says another. "You can speak French!" a third announces.
"Can we read my dictionary?" Zach asks after patiently waiting about thirty seconds as Mal examines each of the unfamiliar titles beside his bed. Mal nods with a swallow and Zach retrieves his blue and white dictionary and opens it up in the middle. She takes a deep breath to calm herself and then panics again when the first word Zach reads is unfamiliar.
"Minuend," He mumbles as he lays his head down on her shirt and leans the book open on her legs. "A number from which another number is to be subtracted."
Mal's skin crawls. Now that she's thinking about it, the word sounds vaguely familiar in the back of her head. Maybe it was included in a lesson years ago or something. But the fact she didn't know it is the problem. If he asks any questions, what will she say?
Luckily, most of the words are pretty straightforward and there isn't a lot that she misses. There are mislead and mission and mistake, all of which are pretty okay, and then the occasional word like mirth or a mite.
"Mite - o - chon - drian," Zach sounds out and then pauses to yawn. "One of the parts found in the cytoplasm of a cell outside the nucleus that provides the cell with energy released from the breakdown of nutrients."
"Baby, do you know what that means?" Mal blurts out. Her head is spinning. It's somehow easier to remember what the various terms mean from her high school classes when Zach is sounding out the big words so carefully, but she still only has a vague recollection of what it means.
Zach nods. "We're made up of cells," he explains, running a hand up his arm. "And cells have DNA that tells them how we need to be built. And this is part of a cell that makes energy." He curls up closer to her arm. "Dad told me about it a while ago."
Of course Dad told him. Dad is smart and was taught these things as a child. Mom was not.
"Mitosis," Zach begins, yawns widely, and then looks at the page through half-lidded eyes to finish. "Process of cell division by which two new nuclei are formed, each containing the original number of chromosomes." He finally sets the book down, rubs his eyes, and then rolls over onto his pillow. Mal reaches over to tuck him in. "Mom?" He calls, eyes closed as he mumbles against his pillow. "How does a cell get the same number of DNA when it becomes two new ones?"
Mal's mind blanks out and she stammers a little as she slides off his bed onto her knees. "I, uh, I think they double, baby. They double up and then divide."
Zach squeezes his pillow, opens his eyes, and looks up. "But... they're already doubled?" He ponders aloud. "They're in a twisty spiral."
That Mal remembers. Her teacher had a giant stretchable model that Evie and Doug once rented out and examined in their dorm room. "Maybe they double the twisted DNA?" She suggests, relaxing a little as she runs a hand up and down Zach's back.
Zach shrugs and buries his face into his pillow. "I'll ask dad tomorrow," He yawns. "Goodnight mom."
Mal sits down hard on her tailbone with every bone in her body vibrating. Her son's words go through her like a bullet. 'I'll ask Dad'. She slowly forces herself to get up and walk to the door. She pulls it shut before she collapses beside the frame and presses her fingertips to her head.
Why is he asking questions like this already? Why doesn't she know the answers? Has he already caught on to the fact she's not nearly as smart as he and Ben are? How much longer does she have before he realizes she's a complete idiot who has no chance of ever learning half of the things he practically downloads into his brain?
Ben finds her there, on the floor outside her son's room mumbling 'questions' and 'cells' underneath her breath. And at three a.m the following morning, when he's awakened by the light of her phone as she reads a seventh-grade lesson on cells and biology, he doesn't say a word.
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"You know, just because you don't know about lightning and thunder doesn't mean you're not smart," Ben sighs from the doorway as Mal clicks through the twenty tabs she has open on her computer. "You just know other things. Who cares if Zach knows what the plant is called - you know whether or not it's edible."
"Great," Mal snaps irritably. "You and he can talk about electricity and... reactions in the atmosphere and I'll tell him where best to stab a man so he dies." She snaps the lid of her laptop shut with her eyes closed and lets out a ragged, ashamed breath. "I can't tell him things like that," she moans. "He already knows you're smarter than I am and I'm scarier than you. If I tell him things like that, he'll think I'm a monster."
"He's not going to think you're a monster," Ben sighs, pinching his fingertips to the bridge of his nose. He already knows he doesn't have much chance of convincing her, though. They've been having this discussion for almost two years now.
"Why is he growing up?" Mal groans, burying her face in her hands. "I can't deal with him getting bigger and all these things... Tyler still can't read by himself and he's almost four now!"
"Zach's a special case," Ben sighs. He's not sure how to console her - is there any consolation for a mom who feels like her baby is growing up too fast? And all she says is true - Zach amazes everyone who meets him. He's somewhere in between a third and a fifth-grade level as far as his knowledge goes, but his rationing is beyond even some adults Ben knows in the courts. Most of what he knows is from reading or Ben and Mal talking with him. They called in a tutor a while ago, and Zach was nice enough to her, but he simply learned too fast for her to be able to develop lessons for him. The local school kind of shook their heads and said that it would be a waste of his potential to have him sit in with even the sixth graders, who need things to be taught more than once whereas he remembers everything, and the only premiere school for kids his age is five hours away, so the only schooling he's done has been online and at-home activities. Now that Tyler is almost to kindergarten age and he's being grouped in with the rest of his age group, he and Mal are starting to understand exactly where a child of Zach's age should be. And it's not sitting upside down in the armchair in the library reading Einstein's theory of special relativity for fun. (He couldn't understand it, but he keeps track of words and phrases and that's how he figures things out)
"Is this good for him?" Mal sighs, tugging on her hair a little. "He's not around any other kids except for his brother and his cousins. and he's moving so fast... what happens when he levels out?"
Ben shrugs. It's going to be a long time before Zach levels out. And he's not too concerned with Zach's friends. Sure, the crown prince doesn't get out much, but he's kind and amicable and gets along well with everyone. He's not a very temperamental child, even when pestered by Zach or Jay's kids.
"We need something he can focus on learning that he won't master the moment it's out of someone's mouth," Mal sighs. "Preferably something with other children." She glances over at Ben with a soft, pleading sigh. "For my sanity and his sake."
"I don't think there's a problem," Ben sighs, sitting down beside her. "But it might be good for him to know what it's like to not learn something right off the bat."
"I was thinking of putting Tyler in dance," Mal sighs. "The other moms at the school have some of his friends in a class together. It's like a tumbling, gymnastics program. After school... let out some of his energy."
"Well, it's not like he can go battle pirates for fun like you used to," Ben snorts, nudging her side even as Mal frowns. "That sounds good. Are you going to put Zach in one?"
"Well, then I'd have to drive out there and back and then there again to drop him off and pick him up. Tyler can walk with his friends. One of the moms works in the building," Mal sighs, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "It would be better to have something I can take him to when I drop Tyler off at school."
Ben puts his hands on her shoulders and rubs his fingertips into her shoulders. "Maybe... music?" He suggests, and then a new plane of understanding opens to his eyes. "Actually... that's a great idea. Learning an instrument helps make connections in kid's brains. He'll have to practice to get good at it and train the muscles in his fingers to-"
"Oh my gosh, you're just like him!" Mal groans. "Why did I marry someone smart? This was a horrible idea!"
Ben laughs. He can't help it. He kisses her cheek and mumbles an apology against her skin. "I'll talk to him and ask what sounds cool," He tells her. "And then I'll get back to you, okay?"
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Thus, Zach begins taking guitar at age five. They pick a studio two buildings away from the public library, so for an hour and fifteen minutes Zach does guitar, then he goes to the library for weekly crafts lessons that other homeschooled kids participate in, and then waits the last hour or so before Mal or Ben picks Tyler up from school. He doesn't mind the wait since he gets to read, but he does mind the lessons themselves. Guitar, it turns out, is hard for him. He gets annoyed, but never angry. Sometimes he asks Mal if he can not go, but he doesn't argue when she disagrees. Once he kicks the empty guitar case, but their oldest child isn't very explosive or hot-headed. Ben's proud of him. After all, it isn't easy to struggle with something, and after learning everything else so easily, it's hard to have to practice something as simple as plucking strings in the right order.
For the first time, he progresses at the same rate as the other kids taking it with him, and Ben sees all of Mal's nerves relax one by one. It's still hard for her to see him move so fast in other subjects, but so long as she can listen to him complain about disliking guitar and how much the strings hurt his fingers, she's convinced that he'll still come to her for advice and comfort and she can keep trying to be a good mom.
For several months, Ben listens to his eldest mutter in the family room as he plucks and presses and then strums on his instrument. Sometimes he has to close his eyes when an out-of-tone note vibrates in his ear or when he hears Zach growl in the little way that reminds Ben a.) his son is struggling and b.) the Beast curse definitely still lives on in their family. Then, one day, he walks through the room and listens to Zach play 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' without any pauses and on all the right keys. And then Zach sets down the guitar with a proud smile and looks up for approval. And at the moment, man, wow. He's been proud of Mal before, but never like this.
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