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leidensygdom · 2 months

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AI bros from hell

Hello! Do you have a bit of your time for a story on AI bros and clients from hell? I bring a really fun one!

I met this guy at a con I was tabling at over a year ago, before AI was a thing. He said he enjoyed my art, and inquired me about whether I did book illustrations. I said yes- He was specifically interested in my bigger pieces, the fully rendered and detailed ones. He agreed to send me later a DM to discuss specifics.

For two weeks, he kept DMing me on details about his book, what he wanted, etc. He wanted full illustrations for inside the book as well as a cover, all of them fully colored, painted and rendered. He also wanted illustrations in this style to post on social media to promote the book. I had warned him that something like that would be costly, but he insisted that he needed this to be the best of the best.

Now, I was getting bad vibes from the guy. I shit y'all not, his instagram handle was "The next tolkien". I wasn't however gonna refuse a job opportunity. Now, he finally asked for prices: He had reassured me he was willing to pay fairly for this. Since he's a starting author, I gave him my non-commercial quotes, which are much, much, much lower than the standard for book illustrations. I mean "if you search for how much this costs on google, the lower prices are x5 times more expensive than what I offered".

The guy, upon receiving that, just ghosted me. Immediately unfollowed, didn't reply me with a "sorry, I can't afford it" or "sorry, i was expecting to pay $10 for a full rendered full background several-characters-picture". Nothing.

The other day I decided to search what he was up to. He's now released... THREE books for this series. There's a single review in the first one. Not even written, just a stars one. Also, notably, he had a webpage put together promoting the book, and. Yeah.

All the art is AI crap.

Which makes sense. My guy was very on his high horse about how fantastic of a writer he is, but I guess art isn't really to be compensated fairly. When he saw the "art stealing machine you just pay a subscription for", I'm guessing he was very excited.

So, uh, here's some of the marvelous pictures he generated of the characters, which surely tell you about how great the book is. AI is theft, so I don't give a f*** about reposting it.

I have a lot of opinions about creators who write, draw or make music, who are more than happy to use AI for other stuff- Album covers made with AI, writers using AI crap for book illustrations, artists using AI-made music. It feels like you're sh*tting in any other artistic field and showing how little you respect anyone but yourself. Like, I'll be honest, I don't have interest reading a book from someone who considers that other forms of art aren't real or worth any money. It just tells me you're devoid of any interest for art or humanity.

As an ending note, his instagram description is "More closer to god than to human", which does add to the clownery.

#anti ai #clients from hell #long story #long post #ai bros

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guzhufuren · 29 days

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Taiwan 🇹🇼 A Guide to Some of the Best Queer Asian Shows

Full list here.

1. History3: Trapped mafia boss/policeman

The story of a police officer who becomes trapped in the underworld, as he develops feelings for a gang leader.

YouTube or Viki

2. Kiseki: Dear to Me mafia; age gap

Bai Zongyi, an exemplary high school student with dreams of becoming a doctor, is one day unexpectedly drawn into the world of a charismatic and mischievous gangster Fan Zerui, who blackmails him into taking him in and treating his wounds. Just as their love story begins to unfold, Fan Ze Rui's criminal life catches up with him. On the other hand, Chen Yi and Ai Di are two orphans who grew up in the gang together. Ai Di has always loved Chen Yi, but Chen Yi only notices their boss.

Viki or GagaOOLala or YouTube

3. My Tooth Your Love dentist/chef; trauma healing

Bai Lang is a successful bistro owner with an severe fear of visiting the dentist... until a toothache forces him to come face to face with the handsome yet cold dentist Jin Xunan.

Viki

4. Anti Reset android/human

When Chu Yi Ping, an emotionless man, dislocates his hand in an accident at school, his uncle gives him Ever 9 as a caretaker, an experimental intelligent robot that his company is secretly testing.

Viki or iQIYI or GagaOOLala

5. History2: Crossing the Line sports; high school setting

When an injury sidelines a high school senior from the volleyball team, he develops feelings for a recruit.

YouTube or Viki

6. Be Loved in House: I Do workplace romance; roommates

When the new boss arrives at the company, he immediately clashes with a headstrong, hot-blooded employee over a controversial workplace policy. Although their relationship starts off combatively, the two of them develop a bond as they work and live together.

Viki

7. We Best Love: No. 1 For You, We Best Love: Fighting Mr. 2nd enemies to lovers; secret crush; university setting

Zhou Shu Yi has spent his entire life as second best thanks to Gao Shi De, whether it be academics, arts or sports, Gao Shi De always managed to beat Shu Yi. Many years later, Shu Yi can finally breathe a sigh of relief when he and his nemesis part ways for university. However, as fate would have it, Shu Yi finds himself defeated once again when Shi De transfers to Shu Yi’s college for his final year. Could the reason that Shi De is seemingly following Shu Yi be something other than to torment him?

WeTV (S1) & WeTV (S2)

8. About Youth high school setting; popular boy/musician

Ye Guang is an elite high school student and a popular campus idol, while Xu Qizhang is an exemplary guitarist who normally has a weak sense of existence but completely transforms himself when on stage. Smitten by the kindness that Ye Guang showed him on one of the saddest nights of his life, Xu Qizhang is more than happy to repay that kindness when Ye Guang starts having a hard time with his parents. But will this newfound friendship develop into something more?

Viki or GagaOOLala

9. Stay by My Side roommates; enemies to lovers; university setting; ghosts

Bu Xia finds himself with an unwelcome new roommate, a student by the name of Jiang Chi, whose cold and studious temperament could not be more different from Bu Xia's. Bu Xia has an inherited ability to hear ghosts, but while trying to get rid of Jiang Chi, Bu Xia makes a discovery: that the ghosts are silenced when he is physically close to Jiang Chi.

Viki or GagaOOLala

10. Plus & Minus best friends to lovers; lawyers; secret crush

Zheng Ze Shou and Fu Li Gong have been best friends for over twenty years. Now, they work as divorce attorneys in the same law firm. Despite their close brotherly bond, this friendship never escalated affectionately until now.

Viki or GagaOOLala

---

You can watch some shows for free on YouTube, and watch others on the streaming websites by setting VPN to Taiwan. In other cases I recommend paying for subscriptions to show appreciation and support of content in order to get more of it in the future, but if you can’t, watch on KissKH (better quality), Dramacool or get files from MkvDrama. Enjoy! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

#mygifs #mine #taiwanese ql

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violetasteracademic · 22 days

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I wasn't planning on doing this yet but...Golden Doe in a Valley of Shadow: Chapter Four (Ao3 Azriel x Elain Fanfic)

My absolute darlings, I have been so delighted that you guys are enjoying this fanfic! I am writing and polishing chapters like an absolute maniac. Your comments, kudos, subscriptions and support of this story and interpretation of these characters have me feeling like the energizer bunny! I am trying to slow down my posting to once or twice a week max as I know my current pace is not sustainable. However with Sarah's instagram post today I noticed a lot of tensions running high and a swarm of shipwar hostility. So I wanted to do some good for my Elriels and unleash the next chapter. And yes, it is all smut. Preview below!

Elain

I won’t touch you.

Fine. That was just fine. He wanted to play games? Maybe it was time for Azriel to learn what it felt like for her to take back control. To make him putty in her hands for once. She walked over to the window and pulled the curtains open. She could see where Azriel’s cluster of shadows hid in the dark corners of the garden. Watching. Listening. There was no doubt in her mind he was there. That he’d stay until he saw the lights go out, and a long while after that to make sure she was safe. She unlatched the window and pushed it open. The shadows perked up at the motion, and began slithering up the walls.

He had no idea what he was in for.

She kept the dim faelights glowing and waited until she could sense the presence of Azriel and his shadows at the window. She twisted her hair around her wrist, pinning it atop her head to expose her neck. She slowly pulled her nightgown over her head and dropped it to the floor, leaving nothing but sheer underthings and her thigh high stockings behind. She went to unclasp her bra when she felt hands made of shadow wrap around her wrists.

Elain. She heard the shadows whisper into her mind. Azriel. Talking to her in the way only she could hear. Not the daemati powers that Feyre and Rhys shared with each other. But… something else.

What? She sent back, shrugging innocently as the shadows swarmed around her.

Is there a reason you flung your window open to the freezing cold and started undressing for all to see?

My room is feeling a little too warm. I needed fresh air. And not everyone can see me, Azriel. She reached for the back of her bra again. She wasn’t stopped this time. Only you.

In an instant, her window slid closed and the curtains drew shut. Azriel, or the outline of his form wreathed in shadow, kept to the corner of the room.

“What are you doing,” Azriel asked. No amusement in his voice.

She lost no confidence. He had already shown his hand, coming into her room in the blink of an eye just knowing she was undressing. He could have stayed at the apartment. Kept his shadows quiet in the garden. But he was here.

“You won’t touch me. So I have to take care of it myself.” She dropped her bra to the floor. Azriel’s shadows guttered. “Is there a problem? I don’t recall that being against your rules.” She slid her panties down to her ankles and gingerly stepped out of them. She had to stop herself from grinning as Azriel finally stepped out of the shadows, his hands white knuckled at his side.

She reached to start rolling down down her stockings, when shadows shot for her hands again.

“Wait,” Azriel whispered, his voice thick and dark. “Don’t take those off.”

She looked down at herself, stripped completely naked save for the stockings. Clarity set her skin on fire.

“You like the way these look, shadowsinger?” She asked sweetly.

Azriel didn’t speak. He only nodded.

“Very well, then.” Elain turned her back to him, taking a slow stride to the bed and swishing her hips more generously than was entirely necessary.

She crawled onto the bed, exposing her entire backside to him. She heard him mutter a low stream of curses and she bit her lip before propping herself up against the pillows and letting her legs fall open.

#elriel #elain x azriel #azriel x elain #elriel fanfic #spicy elriel fanfic #elriel supremacy #pro elriel #elriel endgame #spicy content #elain archeron supremacy

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unpretty · 5 months

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i'm thinking i'm going to be making some changes to how memberships work on my site, specifically:

finally gonna upgrade my setup so i can enable coupon codes so that anyone who donates to my ko-fi or patreon gets site access, i should have done this ages ago but... i didn't.

i'll also see about giving coupons to anyone who sends me a tip through tumblr in case some people find that easier for some reason.

i'm going to up the monthly subscription cost to $2 a month because way too fucking much of $1 a month gets lost to fees. i get 57 cents of that. getting a notification from stripe that there's 57 cents on the way to my bank account is too fucking sad. i like having a minimal paywall but it just doesn't make any goddamn sense for me to be losing 43% of my income to fees before taxes.

annual subscriptions are going up to $15 a year for year one and once you renew it will only be $12. i still won't enable auto-renew by default because i still think that's scummy but maybe that's enough of a discount to incentivize not letting it lapse. i've lost a quarter of my subscribers since last year which makes sense because i haven't written shit but it's still depressing.

if you are already a current member (here's the link) you'll be grandfathered in at the old rates because i'm not an asshole

#original #is it obvious i saw how much that asshole was making to steal and was like 'jfc i have undervalued the shit out of myself'#say what you will about my update rate i certainly did write all of that myself #anyway yes this is a heads-up that if you want the cheaper rates now is the time #i think i will also put up rough cut epubs of ub and astielle in my ko-fi shop because. why not.#my determination to do a real edit of ub has turned into being precious about it and that's a mistake

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mikuni14 · 3 months

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Why I think the way the final episode of The Sign was distributed is wrong, offensive and unfair to fans. And how disappointing I am with this approach, because I sincerely supported Idol Factory and Saint.

Personally, I pay for Gaga, Viki and IQIYI, plus a VPN to watch shows that are not available in my country (like Pit Babe), which, you know, I already paid for 🙄 Additionally, I pay for Netflix, I have combined subscriptions with other people for Disney, HBO, Skyshowtime, Prime, last year we paid for Apple to watch Silo and Severance (I recommend both series btw 👌). I also don't mind paying one-time for a film on the platform, which is how I recently watched Oppenheimer.

Money is not an issue (<- lol), apart from the fact that I support myself and I have to work, and I have to carefully manage my budget in order to feed myself and my cat, clothe myself, pay my bills, and my loss of job will mean obviously giving up access to all these media. I say that money is not a problem in the sense that I WILL SPEND MONEY on something I like. I will save, I will give up something else, but I will spend this money on stuff I love.

The Sign has chosen a certain distribution method for international fans. They chose YouTube and chose a set airing hour. They could have chosen to distribute only in Thailand like Cherry Magic, or they could have chosen any other platform with paid subscriptions. But they chose YouTube. And they released 11 episodes for free and at a set time. And now they CHOSE to make the last ep paid and to create a complete chaos related to the distribution of the finale, because I honestly don't know at this point whether it is paid or not, what is paid and what is not, whether it is on Saturday or Sunday or it's for a ticket or for free on channel3 and apparently they have two endings????, which is always an alarming sign for me, because it's very Game of Thrones/Marvel style shit.

Besides, people have their own lives, their obligations, their schedules. Sometimes you just can't get around certain things and you can't watch a series in the available time, no matter how much you want. Secondly, releasing a product for free in order to limit access to it in the final phase is the worst manifestation of toxic capitalism. This is preying on the desperation and devotion of fans. The third thing is the selection of viewers into those who can afford it, have the time, have the resources and those who do not. And yes, sometimes even just $15 of an unexpected expense makes a huge difference in a person's budget. It's telling some of the fans that you are VIP and can sit in the front row, and the rest of the peasants should wait outside for two weeks 😄

tl;dr personally I want and can pay for: 1) the entire series on a legal platform 2) ADDITIONAL things, like specials, fan stuff, etc. I consider paying for access to the series finale, which until now was free, immoral.

But tbh I really have no idea what's going on, I go with the flow 🤡Whenever I check The Sign tag, I read more and more new information related to the possibility of watching the finale, and it's different every day. And if it turns out that the cut version of the series will be available for free on Channel 3, and the uncut version with subs will be available tomorrow with a ticket, it will be the funniest thing ever. Because that would mean that people paid $15 to watch, I don't know what, a sex scene? 😄

Idk, guys, instead of enjoying the finale, people are wondering how to watch it at all. And if IF starts doing this, won't others follow suit? 11 episodes for free, oh you want to watch the finale, well you have to pay or wait and dodge the spoilers 😈

And one last thing for potential defenders of this system, like "what's your problem, it will be available in 2 weeks, just wait": so you accept that not ALL fans will have a chance to experience the final ep together, which is the basis of the fan community? That some fans will experience and analyze the episodes this weekend, and the rest will wait?

#the sign the series #bl drama #thai bl

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andmaybegayer · 1 month

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Hello it's me with another very naive computer question!

One of the really common complaints you see about modern software (from Adobe, Microsoft, etc.) is the move from the single-purchase model to a subscription-based model. While I understand that people are upset about paying more money over time, this also feels like the only viable option for shipping products that work with modern OSes, especially Windows (I don't have any experience with MacOS). Windows pretty regularly updates, and if you want your product to continue to work, you have to continue paying your engineers to maintain compatibility through time.

Obviously I understand that there are lots of FOSS options out there, but for the companies that are built on making money from these sorts of software products, I don't see another way. Am I way off the mark here?

This is a really good question. I don't have a great answer, but the model I have in my head is that "traditional software distribution" is partially an artifact of an era where companies were starting to use computers but internet use was still spotty so providing support for software was just a very different ballgame. A lot of what I'm saying here is not like. Fact as much as it is my understanding of The Software Business from the side of someone who is a little involved in that but mostly not in that.

(This is mostly about "business software", that is to say, accounting packages, creative suites, design packages, modelling tools, etc. This model does not explain like. Spotify. But that's much easier to explain.)

You're not wrong that the subscription model really make sense given modern software development, where patches come out continuously and you get upgraded to the latest version every time something changes, but there has been a significant change in how software is developed and sold that makes it noticeably different. I think that the cause of this is mostly because it's finally practical to do contract-style deals with hundreds of thousands of customers instead of doing one-off sales like we used to do.

In the Traditional model you charge a pretty sizeable upfront cost for a specific version of the software, you buy Windows XP or Jasc Paint Shop 7 or whatever and then you get That Version until we release The Next Version, plus a couple years of security and support. When the next version hits, we stop adding any new features to your version, and when that hits end of life, you maybe get offered a discount to buy licensing for the latest version, or you drop out of support.

Traditional software with robust support typically costs an awful lot, Photoshop CS2 was $600 new in 2005, or $150 to upgrade from CS, because you're paying for support and engineering time in advance. A current subscription for just Photoshop is $20/mo, and that's after twenty years of inflation. Photoshop is also cheap, a seat for something like SolidWorks 2003 could probably have run you $3000-4000 easy. I can't even give you a better guess there because SolidWorks still doesn't sell single commercial licenses online, you have to talk to their salespeople.

The interesting thing to me about Traditional pricing was that I think it was typically offered to medium to small businesses or individuals, because it's an easy way to sell to smaller customers, especially if it's the 90's and you're maybe selling your software through an intermediary reseller who works with local businesses or just a store shelf.

Independent software resellers were a big business back in the day, they served as a go-between for the software company and smaller businesses, they sold prepared packages in a few sizes and handled the personal relationship of phoning you up and saying "Hey there's a patch for your accounting software so that it doesn't crash when someone's surname is Zero, we'll send you a floppy disk in the mail with some instructions on how to install it." Versioned standard releases are a thing you can put in a box and give to resellers along with a spec sheet and sales talking points. This business still exists but it's much smaller than it once was, it's largely gone upmarket.

If you were bigger, say, if you were a publishing house that needed fifty seats of editing software you'd probably call the sales department of Jasc or whoever and get a volume deal along with a support contract.

Nowadays why would you bother going through resellers and making this whole complicated pricing model when you could just sell subscriptions with well-established e-commerce tools. You can make contract support deals with individuals at scale, all online, without hiring thousands of salespeople. You can even provide varying support levels at multiple cost brackets directly, so you don't need to cultivate a direct business relationship with all your customers in order to meet their needs. Your salespeople handle the really big megacorp and government deals and you let everyone else administer themselves.

It also makes development easier. You can also deploy patches over the net, you just do it in software. You can obsolete older versions faster, since you can make sure most people are using the latest version, and significantly cut down on engineering time spent backporting fixes to older versions. I think a lot of this is straightforwardly desirable on most software.

Now, there are still packages sold by the version, and there are even companies selling eternal licenses.

Fruity Loops Studio is still a "Buy once forever" type deal.

MatLab can be purchased as a subscription or as a perpetual one-version license.

Windows is still sold like this, but also direct to customer sales of Windows are minimal, Windows is primarily sold to OEM's who preinstall it on everything.

But it's a dying breed, your bigger customers are going to want current support and while there are industries where people want to hang around on older versions, for a lot of software your customer wants the latest thing with all the features and patches, and they'd rather hold on to their money until later using a subscription rather than spend it all upfront. Businesses love subscriptions, they make accounts books balance well, they're the opposite of debt.

Personal/private users who might just want the features of Photoshop CS2 and that's fine forever don't matter to you. They're not your major customers. This kind of person is not a person who your business cares to service, so you don't really care if you annoy them.

Even in the Open Source business world, subscriptions are how the money is made, just on support rather than for the software itself. You can jump through relatively few hoops to run Ubuntu Enterprise or SUSE Enterprise Linux on your own systems for free, but really there's not much benefit to that unless you pay for the dedicated support subscription.

In many ways I think a lot of things have changed in this way, I have a whole thing about the way medium-scale industrial manufacturing has changed in the past thirty years somewhere around here.

While there are valid reasons you might want to buy a single snapshot of some software and run that forever, the reality is that that's a pretty rare desire, or at least that desire is rarely backed by money. If you want to do that you either need access to the source code so that you can maintain it yourself, or you need to strike a deal with someone who will, or it needs to be software so limited that it (and the system it runs on!) never need updates. Very few useful programs are this simple. As a result subscription models make sense, but until recently you couldn't really sell a subscription to small businesses and individuals. Changes in e-commerce and banking have enabled such contracts to be made, and hey presto, it's subscription world.

#kelp-of-discontent #ask #computer stuff #economics thunderdome

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lesbiandanhowell · 4 months

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I bought a subscription to PJ'S patreon maybe just to watch the Uncut version of The Mind (but I also love PJ so like, it's a win-win).

I wasn't going to post much because paywall content BUT I NEED TO SAY THINGS.

- Phil's inability to shut up is adorable, the fact his reasoning for saying hi was that he found it heard not to speak (neuroatypical much) and he got lonely... most adorable person ever maybe? (Also Sophies very genuine acknowledgement of that emotion was very validating. I stan Sophie)

- They have played this before??? I am 👀

- I like the style of these! The fact we get to see everyone at all times rather than cutting between people and also the fact we get to hear more conversations. I feel like this makes me want to rewatch it 4 times and pay attention to a different person every time.

- Sophie <33 just Sophie

- Something something about Sophie and Phil together, it tickles my brain.

- THE ENERGY OF THESE FOUR it comes out so much more unedited, like really I can't explain it but they have a unique energy.

- This was in the youtube one as well but Sophie being the only one to react to Phil's "69!", love her.

- I think my main take away from this video: Sophie, I am in love with women and her specifically.

- Dan and Phil agreeing that are are incapable of shutting up is hilarious BECAUSE GLAD YOU HAVE FINALLY NOTICED YOU'RE LOUD AF

- The energy of this video THANK YOU PJ FOR GIVING US THIS

- Don't know how to explain this but within the relationship sophie and phil are the same and dan and pj are, it makes sense okay?

- The Bonus Banter was so out of left field, had I guessed what it might be I wouldn't have been close but also it is SO Phil I love it.

100% worth the paying for because this was such a fun watch and I am excited to explore the rest of PJs patreon content now!

#kickthepj #the mind uncut #dan and phil #amazingphil #daniel howell #sophie newton #no screenshots cause i respect the patreon exclusivity

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coldresolve · 22 days

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Hi, I'm Elias, I'm a 26yo trans guy from Denmark. I write shit, I draw shit, and I get into unneccesarily tedious arguments with anons about torture apologia in fiction. I think that sums up my vibe

I've made a few posts about this already, but tl;dr: the Danish NHS has been refusing to treat me for gender dysphoria for the better part of a year now because they've deemed me "unstable." Unstable how, you ask?

I have depression.

No, that is quite literally it. Full context under the readmore.

Fighting to be heard and having the door repeatedly slammed in your face sucks peak ass, and I'm done now. The NHS is so lackluster when it comes to trans people, all of a sudden, it makes perfect sense to me why 31% of transgender Danes get HRT outside of the NHS.

And I'd rather not have to turn to the black market, so rn I'm hoping to get a prescription with GenderGP. The issue is, I'm poor as fuck and can't afford the start-up fees for the forseeable future - unless I do something like this. I hate asking others for money, and I hate it even more if I'm not in a place where I can give anything in return. But I also recognize I'm in over my head with this, so. If you've got a cent or two to spare, I'd be grateful as hell.

I've mathed it out, and my best estimate is that I need around 3500,- DKK / $500 USD. Again, this is just to cover the initial subscription as well as mandatory consultations/blood tests. I should be able to cover the prescriptions on my own, as well as further tests/consultations down the line, so I'm hoping this is a one-and-done sort of thing.

paypal: [email protected]

Also, important note. We're in a global cost of living/housing crisis and this isn't a strict life-or-death situation. If you're in a tough spot right now, don't send me anything, that'd just make me feel worse about asking. I appreciate the thought but you gotta take care of your own needs first. Peace and take care ✌️

So I've been dealing with major depressive disorder since I was 11. It runs in my family, and as you might imagine, after 15 years of living with this thing, I've learned how to manage it pretty well by now. I know what it's like to genuinely be unstable - and if I were in a place like that, no problem, I'd be open about that. I wouldn't be making decisions like this. I know myself. You kind of have to when you're dealing with a chronic mental illness.

Here's where I am right now: I've got no suicidal ideation, been clean from self harm for four years, no psychosis, no inpatient admissions for the last five years. I live on my own, take my meds, and I'm keeping my life in order. Depressed, yes, but about as stable as someone with my history can get, and ask anyone who knows me, me wanting to get on HRT isn't some spur of the moment decision. I've done a fucking decade of soul searching, and a few years ago, I finally (duh) reached the conclusion that living as a woman isn't something I can even fake being content with - believe me, I've tried. I'm well aware of the scope of medical transition, but I'm settled in who I am. And I just want to live like me now. That's the only thing I want.

If it counts for anything, my partner and family have supported me through this, which has been priceless obviously, but it also goes to show that me saying "I'm capable of making medical decisions" isn't purely a personal assessment. I'm pretty sure they'd speak up if they thought I was being unstable about it or whatever

But the CPH clinic for sexology, who have consistently refused to listen to me telling them all this, have somehow magically aquired divine knowledge on my capacity to make adult decisions about my own body, and on the basis that I have MDD, they're refusing to even set me up for a preliminary interview - one that would preceed a 6 month full-team psych evaluation before the prospect of HRT would even come up. They said in their latest refusal that they wont accept another referral from me until a year after my last in-clinic conversation with them, which happened on October 24th, 2023 - meaning that with the NHS, if they accepted my referral come October (which I don't have much faith they will), the earliest I could possibly get on HRT is April 2025. Arguing for my own sanity would've sucked enough as is, but it's made harder by the fact that they won't even talk to me. You're a trans guy who would like healthcare, but you have a mental illness? Good luck, you're on your own. Long live the Danish bureaucracy.

Dysphoria makes me fucking miserable. I'd rather not have to write a sob story here, and tumblr is like 80% trans people so I guess a good portion of you can imagine why waiting another year for the possibility of maybe-perhaps-if-all-goes-well getting on HRT would not actually make me less miserable about it.

So. I'm sitting down next week along with my mom to file a formal complaint with the patient's rights committee. I don't know what to call this other than some form of discrimination on the basis of mental illness, because nothing in my current situation would prohibit me from making medical decisions for myself. And I honestly don't think that a complaint is going to do much, but I intend to make it obnoxiously long, because by law, a specialized doctor and an attorney have to read through the whole thing. If you can't beat 'em, make 'em read 50 pages of you going into detail about why you think they suck, right

And yeah, like I said, in the meantime, I'm trying to go via GenderGP. It'd be nice if my poor ass could get HRT via the NHS instead of having to pay out of pocket, but apparently the bar for entry requires that you 1) have gender dysphoria to the point where it impedes normal function and 2) somehow aren't mentally ill. Who wrote these rules? Some 60yo cis guy in a suit in Christiansborg, I imagine.

Feel free ask about anything relating to this whole situation, I'll be as open as I can about it, cause I understand that if you're going to give money to someone, you want to know what it's going to. Though I hope you understand I'm not going to doxx myself more than I already have now, or give you my entire medical history - only what's relevant to my current situation.

I know Denmark is a welfare state and on a global scale we're doing alright, but I hope you don't mind if I say this: This shouldn't be happening as often as it does. Fuck the Danish NHS.

#other #slight self doxx ig #idec ill post my bare ass for testosterone #do rb if u want but also no pressure. i want this whole thing to be on a want-to only basis alright

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humming-pokemon-helpers · 2 months

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Finally got the go-ahead to post about this… so, with the growing visibility of hybrids in the public eye, I was offered the opportunity to interview with RIME Magazine! (Capitalizing the name properly was part of the deal.)

I’ll be pasting the text of the article below for anyone without a subscription (to be fair, it’s also posted online, and I have permission), but before that… I also got a cover photoshoot! I wound up touching up my ears with my illusions… and some of the burn scars… but I’m quite happy with how it turned out, still. Wolfy couldn’t make it, so I took the photo with Chiru that day! Anyways, hope you enjoy. :)

(//Art is a commission by @/RhymeWithRay here or mostly on Twitter! They make amazing Pokémon-style work, worth a look for sure!!!)

But without further ado, the interview!

RIME Magazine sat down for an interview with Vanilla Cress, a Hisuian Zorua hybrid, human and Pokémon psychologist, Champion-class trainer in Paldea, Galar Champion Cup semifinalist, and hybrid model and activist, in early February. Topics discussed varied widely, from Cress's own experience growing up as a human-Pokémon hybrid, understanding Pokémon, Cress's recent modeling and activism, and future plans. What follows is a condensed and edited transcript of the interview.

That's quite the list of accolades you've accumulated along the way. What do you think has led you to achieve so highly?

Well, for one, I think you're giving a lot of this more credit than it's worth, [laughs]. I'm not sure being pulled off of the street because I look like a walking ice-cream cone is much of an accomplishment, personally. Nor do I do much activism apart from this interview now, apparently.

I think I understand the answer you're going for here, though. I would say that my hybridity's a large part of what brought me as far as I've come. Not only in having the gift to talk to our partners in life--which is an incredible gift--but in that there's this drive to prove myself. Or maybe to redeem myself. I'm not really sure which, personally. Doing things has just filled all of the gaps in my life, until now.

Right, and you only publicly "came out" as a hybrid less than a year ago.

Yes, less than a year ago! It's been a huge adjustment, but I have so much more energy these days, not having to worry about being discovered by hitting something with my tail, [laughs].

While my experience hasn't been entirely positive after "coming out" myself, and I realize that even being able to hide is a privilege many hybrids simply don't have, I will say that generally speaking, the public response has been overwhelmingly positive. Say, for every enemy I've made, I've made ten more friends in their place. And from so many different walks of life, too!

You say your experience wasn't entirely positive. Could you elaborate some on your negative experiences as a hybrid?

Well, if I have to. Which I suppose I don't, but it seems rude not to. There are, of course, people out there who view you as subhuman, when you look like me. Or in maybe a less extreme sense, people who have a tendency to see all of the fluff and decide "Oh, this person--I should talk to this person like they're a child." But those are really quite few and far between, at least in my case. I'm more likely to scare people, with the teeth and the claws. [They make a pose showing both off.]

My main negative experience, though, was something more personal and targeted.

Yes, there was the news earlier last year about the Dreamyard Laboratory...

"Earlier last year" doesn't feel right, somehow. I won't go much into detail, but yes, I was taken against my will for the purpose of illegal research on human-Pokémon hybrid power, by Colress Achroma. It was only due to the efforts of my dear friends that I'm here now. I cannot express my gratitude to them enough, if any of you are reading!

Thank you for sharing. To turn back the clock a bit, what was your childhood like, being half-Zorua?

Well, for most of that time, it was like paradise! When I was a young child, we were quite isolated, so I never got the sense that my life was "off" or "strange". I thought for the longest time it was normal to have a family like mine. My older sibling, Wolfgang, a Zorua then--we were just "W" and "V" at the time--he and I would just run wild and play in Lostlorn Forest for hours while the rest of the pack hunted. And then they'd come back, and they'd start in on whatever they'd caught, and my mother would swoop back in to make me something completely different. And teach me the alphabet. [Laughs]

Was there a time, when that facade cracked?

Oh, there was this time, right when I had gotten used to using my illusions, that my mother brought me to the grocery store with her. And that's when I learned a lot of facts about the world very quickly. And then I had to learn those facts all over again, a few years later, when I rejoined the human world with my adopted family. Everything had to be hidden after that, or else. It was dangerous, not knowing what sort of person you'd meet, or who'd want to hurt you just for existing.

You say you were also adopted?

Right. There was... a forest fire, at one point. Intentional. And I lost everyone dear to me but Wolfgang. And I became the sort of Zorua you see here now [a Hisuian Zorua]. And after a few years of... homelessness and what not, I was taken in by the Cresses. It was a chance encounter. And it was a major culture shock! Going from streets to high society parties. It was thanks to them, though, that I managed to find something to do with my life and graduated from Naranja-Uva.

And in between that, the Galar gym challenge...

[Laughs] I'm sure you have a clip of that somewhere. I'd rather not talk about it, that was... a strange period of teenagerhood for me.

How do you feel about your childhood, on reflection?

That's tough. That's something I believe I'm still working out, myself. It was positive moment-to-moment, but considering what I know, now, I would say... to some degree, I resent it. It's hard not to resent being born in a position where it feels like, for so long, nobody understands you. I wouldn't trade Wolfgang for anyone else, but otherwise, I do wish, sometimes, I was "just" a human.

I can imagine. At the same time, talking to Pokémon is quite the advantage, right? What is it like?

Depends on the Pokémon! Some of us are more talkative than others, and of course, there's a range in how sophisticated Pokémon communication is too.

The difference is something like... imagine two Pokémon asking for pizza. In my experience, a Solosis would usually just beam the word "PIZZA" right into your mind. A Sewaddle might be coherent enough to say "Pizza, please". And a Zoroark... probably something along the lines of "give me the damn pizza already," [laughs].

So sometimes you can get a lot across by understanding Pokémon, but that doesn't mean they're all speaking in the same way as humans still. Understanding those individual differences goes a long way in my line of work, too. It's a bit easier than reading behavior, anyways!

As a Pokémon psychologist, what's one thing you think more people should understand about their Pokémon?

More than anything... it sounds cliche, but most Pokémon truly view humans as their partners, just as we do them. As much scientific proof as has gone into the question of proving that Pokémon love us as much as we love them, in my experience... that's absolutely true.

At the same time, even as partners, Pokémon think quite differently from humans in their daily life. I think in order to create the most balanced world possible, where both can coexist, it's key to consider the Pokémon's perspective more too.

What's one thing you'd like to impart about hybrids to people who don't know much about them?

Every hybrid's experience is different, firstly! Some, like me, are born, but others are created through science or magic we still don't know about. Some may look almost identical to humans, and some may have appearances considered frightening or unusual. Some of us have long-standing health problems. Some of us can use moves, or speak in Pokémon language, or access abilities, whereas others may be more limited. There's no one experience that I can really label as "the hybrid experience".

There are people who might think we're dangerous. Or inhuman. But whether you consider us 'human' or not... like any living being, we still deserve respect and a voice. Maybe that's obvious, but I think it still rings true.

Finally, what are your plans from here?

I'm hoping to finish my Unova League challenge together with my traveling partner! I certainly don't intend to become the Champion, but if I can say I challenged every member of the Elite 4, I'd be happy.

From there... well, there are a few things I'd like to resolve otherwise, but I think I'll return to my day job as a therapist, and hopefully, my own personal sword training. I'd also like to spend more time with my friends, my traveling partner, and my family in Lostlorn! My brother, Wolfgang has four incredible kits, and they're the absolute most adorable--

I'm afraid we're out of time for today, Mx. Vanilla.

Ah, yes. Thank you for having me!

#pokeblogging #pkmn irl #//not my art #//again give @rhymewithray a look their art is incredible :)#//might link this into vanilla's profile as a “quick look at them” too ^^

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not-poignant · 5 months

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Jesus H Christopher, Pia. Your writing load is insane.

Maybe you should cut back on how many chapters you release for certain stories? Like Stain and Palma (since these stories dont equal income) until UtB the other Underline stories are almost done. Just a thought

Because I feel burnt out just by thinking of writing that much, so I can only imagine how you feel. Please take care of yourself

Hi anon,

TL;DR: My brain is stupid, which is why I can't do this, even though it makes sense and is logical.

Unfortunately the fanfiction is what often makes the original fiction possible, or more enjoyable.

If I lock myself down into too much schedule and rigidity, or if I only focus on writing for money, I actually start to hate writing, even if I love the stories. There is nothing like 'will this earn money, do people like this, would people pay, what if they all decide to stop paying for this, why would they pay for this, would I pay for this, how much would people pay for this, is there any incentive for them to pay for this, actually if I wrote a ton of different tropes maybe I'd make more for this, but that's depressing, but I need the money, shit what do I do, what if I lose my income, what if it all stops tomorrow, I need to write more, I need to write more, I need to write more' that is actually very exhausting and makes writing not much fun at all.

And to deliberately break out of that headspace as much as possible, I write fanfiction. Because that headspace (the one I wrote about above), on its own, even if I'm only writing two stories, can and has led to burnout and depressive episodes. I don't recommend it.

In a way, one of the reasons I can write so many stories right now (ADHD meds aside) is that I am letting myself break out and just have fun with fanfiction, and remember that my original writing is meant to be fun too. But without fanfiction, I lose sight of that very quickly.

Fanfiction means that when an original story chapter does super badly, generally there are still excited comments elsewhere that keep me going. That's how I survived The Ice Plague, and that story would never have been completed without fanfiction, because that was my worst performer of any story I've ever written. It also means if a lot of subscribers leave at once, I don't feel like The Worst Writer In The World. So having fanfiction behind me was like...a literal safety net or my security blanket.

If I have to discard my security blankets or use them less often in order to keep writing the original stuff, I might as well just stop entirely, because my longest hiatuses from Patreon (i.e. one lasted 1.5 years, many have lasted 4-6 months) have been when I'm mostly just writing original fiction, and am not writing much fanfiction, or not deliberately finding time for it, and finally get so stressed out re: money I literally have to stop. I'm on a (partial) Disability Pension.

A long time ago some professional people told me I probably shouldn't be working at all because of my mental illnesses and then paid me money because of the severity of those mental illnesses. My dumbass brain be pretty fragile, actually, and keeps chugging away because I make bad business decisions and write stuff I enjoy instead of writing to market, or doing rapid release, or releasing more novels (or novels). Writing does ironically help when I'm stressed, but not when I'm stressed about making money because of writing.

I will cut at my income before I cut at my love of this job, and unfortunately fanfiction keeps me going in this job, which means I can't really cut at that first.

(Also from a business perspective, it's actually a very good funnel to the original stuff and then subscription. Most of you wouldn't be here if you hadn't read one of my fanfics first and then gave the original stuff a try - I try not to think about that too much because I need fanfic to not be about money, but the fact is, I would not have this career without fanfic).

I do have plans to take two weeks off in January from posting chapters (I can still post rewards in the second half of January) and that's not too far away.

And the reality is that I probably would have kept going okay if real life hadn't imploded on top of everything like the world's worst bukkake party.

#asks and answers #personal #pia on writing #i am not a smart business owner #i'm an emotional fragile mentally ill one #who has to make decisions that keep me wanting to do this job #because at the end of the day #my severe treatment-resistant mental illnesses #do not do well with the pressure of making money #and feeling like a failure #so i need to actually do things that aren't about money at all #to remind myself that i don't need to have a breakdown #over never making a minimum wage #(i'm getting closer though which is probably why this burnout came on)#(i've been pushing a lot harder than normal because... well... i'd like to make #an average income one day)#(i may not be smart enough or well enough to do that)#(but i will keep trying)#i just have to keep trying as someone with a very broken mind #who copes with that brokenness through working hard #breaks are stressful and i have to think hard about what's best

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utilitycaster · 1 year

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FYI, I'm away for the weekend and shall have very limited availability once I reach my destination but here is WoTC's first official statement re the OGL. It is short and in fairly simple language, and I recommend under the strongest terms you read it for yourself and draw your own conclusions from it rather than relying on others.

Takeaways I have are:

They will be clarifying that this is specifically about the creation of TTRPGs. Livestreams, cosplay, etc. were always unaffected but given the response from the community I think this is a useful statement to make. They have also stated that this is not intended to touch on VTTs. I will admit, I feel like the conversation surrounding VTTs has been by far the most poisoned by unfounded speculation, and I also have not liked VTTs when I've used them, so I'll wait for the final OGL 1.1 to have any conclusions, but at the very least this is what they are saying now.

It appears the royalty structure is not being pursued, which was one of the biggest legitimate concerns.

The OGL 1.0 will not be invalidated for existing content. I would presume that this does imply it will not be permissible for future content the moment that 1.1a is released.

The registration system has not been mentioned, and I am keeping an eye on that. It seems that if royalties aren't going to go forward this would not make any sense to have and would almost certainly cost them money to pursue, but I'm waiting for 1.1a to make that clear.

The language surrounding content that uses the SRD as being something that can be used by WoTC at any time for free will be clarified to indicate that this is a provision to prevent lawsuits over unintentional coincidences rather than as a means for WoTC to use commercially available unofficial content for free. (This is part of what was widely stated by people more familiar with IP law to be boilerplate. Basically: let's say a third party publisher came up with the idea of a fire-based druid class shortly before the Circle of Wildfire came out but after it had legitimately already been in development at WoTC. This would basically say "hey, we did not steal your IP; both of us came up with fire-based druid subclasses independently and neither of us will sue each other and both of us can continue to sell our material.")

Obviously this went through PR for a large company, and, you know, sounds like it. The responsible thing to do is to wait for the final document. With that said I do not think it's unreasonable to consider things with a measure of good faith, which is to say: the leak was a draft, it was not intended to be released as it was, and there was intended to be a (far more controlled) comment period for creators once a public-facing draft version was ready.

For what it's worth: More generally, I do recommend being very thoughtful about what subscriptions you maintain, which is why I use D&D Beyond in a fairly limited fashion and only because a DM of mine requested it - I do not use it for DM planning nor did I use it for previous characters. Part of that is because, as you can see in the film/TV industry and music industry, your favorite show or song can be taken off a streaming service on the whim of said service or at the behest of the artist or for many other reasons, but content you actually own will still exist. I think it's worth criticizing this as an ongoing business practice, and I do suspect WoTC will be pushing it for D&D Beyond.

I also think a lot of opportunistic people preyed on people's fears regarding games or shows they have deep emotional attachments to, and that multiple parties in all of this ongoing mess (one of which, to be clear, is WoTC/Hasbro) can all be wrong at once. Also more generally, I do not think this kind of fearmongering is productive, and I do think it's outright harmful to genuinely pragmatic anticapitalist efforts. Lies or even the not necessarily malicious wide dissemination of misinformation are far more dangerous when they validate what you already believe, because you're far more likely to fall for them.

#ogl 1.1 #clownery will as prior be blocked w/o comment

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justice-is-a-weapon · 7 months

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In vino veritas [Dazai x gn reader]

·•━━━━━━━⋆⋅☆⋅⋆━━━━━━━•·

Chapter 15 / ?

previous | next

TW: mentions of depression

Walking outside I took a seat right next to the door. I took in the view I was presented with. To my left a run down car. It must’ve stood there for god knows how long, considering it was overtaken by rust, the black paint chipping away. I heard some birds chirp nearby. I, however, was not in the mood for chirping.

I took a look at my watch. 4:38 pm. It had taken me exactly 20 minutes to calm down from the fight. At least I had now calmed down so much as to not bash in Dazai’s face when seeing him again. Now I tried focusing on what exactly he had done to avoid letting him trigger me like that again. I recognized a pattern. Dazai will at first ignore any issue he faces while also being completely aware of it, then, when he needs to actually face it or is confronted with the issue, he may snap. This usually leads to the other person involved giving up when they can make the decision to do so. This is the route I assumed his colleagues usually took. Well, it was the easiest way out. But sometimes the easiest way is not the right one. I took route two: Confronting the issue head on. That was my error. Or maybe it wasn’t. It definitely made Dazai turn directly against me. Dazai is very likely to attack even those who he cares about when he feels threatened. I’d need to stay away for now. No provocation. First thing is making him feel safe, not threatened.

I still need to clean that bathroom though. He needs a shower. Or a bath.

I had also been too harsh on him. Maybe I should apologize. Yes. I will apologize.

I took another deep breath. We both fucked up, I thought. I could check his mailbox while I was at it. Nothing except for some bills to pay, advertising and some sort of weekly news subscription. With that I sat down again, leaning back against the wall, closing my eyes.

I imagined Dazai walking out the door, sitting down next to me. He'd first complain about the bills but he’s also saying sorry in my imagination, sorry for causing me all this trouble. I’d tell him not to be sorry, he’s just feeling intense emotions and this meant stuff like this could follow. I don’t blame him. Although him saying sorry would help me immensely. It’d be proof we’re both merely human.

But I’m taken back into reality.

Dazai is not sitting next to me. Instead I’m met with two long legs. My gaze follows from the brown dress shoes, over the beige dress pants, up to the black collar and lastly his face. I’ve settled on calling his hair “piss blonde” by now. He doesn’t like me anyway.

“So why are you sitting out here? Thought he probably ghosted you too.”

It’s more of a statement than a question.

“Well he did,” I finally answered, “But I’m more of a ‘I’ll break into your house if I need to’ type of person y'know?”

“Makes sense.”

I don’t question his response. An uncomfortable silence follows.

“I know you don’t like me.”

He looks at me, not quite expecting me to talk nor my sudden honesty. I just roll my eyes.

“Don’t act like I can’t be honest for once.”

A pause.

“I know that you know that I don’t like you.”

Now it was my turn to quirk a brow at him. Thankfully he answered my unspoken question.

“Dazai told me.”

This made me whip my head towards him. I hated how much I reacted to the simple mention of Dazai. I suddenly felt a bit caught.

“He gave me quite the verbal beating the day after.”

“He did?”

“I’m usually not afraid of Dazai but he seemed pretty determined to change my mind.”

He took another look at me. I prepared myself, thinking harsh words would follow. Kunikida didn’t like me. He didn’t trust me and I knew it.

But I was surprised.

“I don’t completely hate you. But I don’t like you either.”

He sat down next to me. Right where I imagined Dazai just a minute before.

“Just seeing you sit here tells me you’re determined too. I like determination. It’s part of my ideals. I’m a man that is determined to follow my ideals. They give my life meaning.”

“I’d call that fanaticism.”

“To some it might be yes. But that’s not the point I’m trying to make. I was actually trying to tell you there’s traits I like about you too.”

“Oh wow. Thanks for the compliment.”

I said rather sarcastically. I looked up at him, our eyes meeting for a second. He seemed softer. He was serious.

“Thank you for putting up with him. I know he can get a bit difficult.”

I hadn’t expected such kind words from Kunikida. He then shook his head and continued.

“To be honest I don’t get how or why you do it.”

With that he let out a long sigh and rested his head against the wall, looking towards the sky, then closing his eyes. I exhaled, slightly laughing.

“I just try again and again. Why? Because he’s my friend. Of course he’s an ass but I’ll make sure he’s doing okay.”

“You’re something for sure.”

We sat in silence for a second.

“I miss him too, yknow.”

Silence. Then his eyes widened.

“Please don’t tell him I said that.”

Now this made me laugh.

“Don’t worry. I won’t.”

I wanted to ask him another question but didn’t know if it would be too invasive. After some thinking about it I decided to do it.

“Why are you here though?”

“Mainly to check up on him I guess. But someone beat me to it.”

Again, comfortable silence.

“I used the premise of giving him his work stuff. Mainly a lot of documents. But I really just wanted to see if he’s doing okay.”

For a man so focused on ideals instead of emotion Kunikida seemed to actually have a heart. This made me happy. It was proof that I was not talking to a robot.

“Is… Is he doing okay?”

“I think it’s a depressive episode.”

“Oh… I see.”

“But we’re making progress.”

He looked me up and down.

“If you’re making progress, why are you out here?”

“Sometimes getting your ass kicked is also progress.”

A small chuckle from Kunikida.

“How far did you push him?”

“Insulted me, yelled at me, tried to tell me I’m nothing-“

“Oh I see. He’s frustrated.”

“Very much.”

Again we sit in silence.

“And how are you doing?”

This question made me think. How was I doing? Good? Bad? Something in between? To be honest I had no idea.

“Fine?” Was my final answer but it came out as more of a question than a real answer.

“Take care of yourself.”

I said nothing after that.

“Should I go in again?” I asked quietly. “I don’t want to upset him. Or worse, I could flip at him too. I don’t want that.”

“I know you don’t.”

I looked at him shyly.

“What do you say?”

He chuckled quietly, fixing his glasses.

“Get your ass inside.”

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[There it is! The long awaited chapter! Thank you for your patience. For anyone wondering what’s going on in my life please go ahead and read the author’s note. Take care!]

#bsd #bungou stray dogs x reader #dazai osamu #dazai x reader #dazai x y/n #writers on tumblr #writers #fiction #bsd fanfic #fanfics #fanfiction #bungou stray dogs #dazai x you #dazai x gn!reader #bsd dazai #dazai bsd #x reader

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bluejaysandblackbats · 3 months

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Kitten Heel

Fandom: DC Comics

Summary: Roy meets Jade in college and she offers to help him study chemistry in exchange for help in her music class. They develop feelings for each other, but Jade disappears after the semester ends. Nearly a year later, Roy catches a glimpse of a woman with a baby getting on the train. And she's wearing his bracelet...

Chapters: 1/?

Characters: Roy Harper, Jade Nguyen, Dick Grayson, Koriand'r, Ryand'r, Karras

Relationships: CheshRoy, DickKory, KoryKarras

Additional Tags: College AU, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Falling in Love, Complicated Relationships, Arranged Marriage, Established Relationship, Secret Relationship, Single Parents, Good Friend Roy Harper, Past Drug Addiction, Past Torture, Breaking Up & Making Up, Trust Issues, Angst, Romance, Hurt/Comfort

Chapter One: Chemistry

Roy scratched his head as he checked the answer to the homework question. He did his best, but Chemistry wasn't his subject. She knew that. Jade sat three tables down, watching her classmate grow more frustrated as time passed. Roy sighed and put his head down, locking his fingers behind his neck. He'd been at it for hours. Reading the chapters, rewriting his notes, going over the quizzes. He'd finally given up for the afternoon when he heard the click-clacking of heels against the floor. "Do you mind if I sit here?" Jade asked.

He looked up, helpless but afraid to swallow his pride. "Sure, I'm almost-." She took his homework and looked it over.

"You're in luck, you know," Jade smiled, "Chemistry's my best subject. Do you see this big number? The coefficient? You multiply it by the subscript, and you've got six. Right?" Roy nodded. "Okay, now what was the subscript for Nitrogen?" "Two," Roy replied. Jade smiled at him, raising an eyebrow as she waited for him to come to a conclusion. "Like this?"

"Exactly," Jade replied. Roy broke eye contact and thanked her. "I didn't just come over here to tutor you in Chemistry... I wanted to ask you a question because I've seen you play gigs at the college. Can you read sheet music?"

"Sure can... Why?" Roy questioned.

She unzipped her bag and took out a neatly folded piece of paper. "I'm taking a music class... But I don't understand the whole sheet music thing in practice. I think I get it, but the quizzes don't make sense." Roy looked at the paper and pulled out his iPod.

"Do you have headphones? I forgot mine at home," Roy whispered, "I'm Roy, by the way."

"Jade." She pulled a pair of headphones out of her bag and removed the zip tie. Roy grinned.

She plugged them into his iPod, and he opened an app. "You're taking Joyner's class? He'll only test you on this once... But the thing is a lot of the songs a simple if you learn to recognize the music. He usually doesn't grade too hard because he learned sheet music later in life. He plays by ear."

"Plays what?" Jade asked.

"Piano. I only know because he likes to do the open mic nights. He'll come in once a month and play a song, and if he sees his students there, he gives them extra credit," Roy replied as he played the notes for her on the app.

"ABCs," Jade replied.

"Or Twinkle Twinkle, but yeah... Exactly," Roy smiled. Jade looked over the second problem on Roy's homework.

"Hey, are you hungry?" Jade questioned. "Maybe we can finish this over lunch?"

"Are you asking me on a date?" Roy asked.

"Nope. I'm asking you to be my study buddy... Besides, I think better after I've had something to eat," Jade replied. Roy nodded.

"Okay," Roy replied as he packed his backpack. Jade stood up, and Roy followed her out of the library.

"What do you eat?" Jade asked.

"I'm not picky," Roy replied.

Jade decided on smoothies and sat at the park until they finished their homework. "When are you usually free?" Jade questioned.

Roy ripped a piece of paper from his notebook and wrote down his number, schedule, and dorm room number. "My roommate's a cool dude, so if you stop by my dorm to study or something and I'm not there, he'll let you in," Roy replied, "Well... I'm giving him too much credit. He'll be an asshole about it... But he'll let you in." Jade laughed.

"I'm probably not gonna stop by your dorm, but I appreciate you being extra available. Here, let me see your notebook," Jade replied. She wrote her number down and gave him her cell with her schedule. "It was nice meeting you, Roy-."

"Harper. Roy Harper," Roy interrupted as he shook her hand.

"Jade Nguyen. Nice to meet you, Harper Roy Harper. I'll see you Saturday morning?" Jade asked. Roy's eyes widened.

"Huh?" Roy asked.

"I'll call you with the details," Jade replied.

Roy waited until she was out of sight to bite his knuckle. "Fuck," Roy whispered. He texted his roommate and received a call a few minutes later. "Dick-."

"It's literally a random Thursday in September, Roy. Are you telling me you've fallen head over heels for a girl at first sight in a library?" Dick questioned.

"It wasn't first sight. You didn't see her-."

"You're thinking with your Johnson, Harper," Dick interrupted.

"Come on, I felt something-."

"Roy, please. I'm eating," Dick joked. Roy laughed.

"Are we hanging out tonight? Or are you busy?" Roy asked.

"Depends. Are you gonna talk about this girl you just met the whole time, or are you gonna hang out?" Dick asked.

"I'm gonna hang out," Roy answered half-sarcastic, "Are we still skyping Wally, or did he cancel?"

"He's gonna be late. Garth got dehydrated again, so he's picking him up from the E.R.," Dick replied. Roy laughed. "You can't laugh at Garth being in the E.R., Roy... Roy-." Dick fell into a fit of laughter.

"And he wonders why everyone called him Fish in middle school," Roy joked.

"I thought they called him that because he drank pool water on a dare," Dick responded.

"What are you doing right now?" Roy asked, walking backward toward his dorm.

"Watching you from the window," Dick answered.

"You missed me or somethin'?" Roy teased as he turned to look at their dorm window. Dick flipped him off. "Aww! I love you too, buddy." Roy returned the gesture.

"Are you wearing my sweatshirt?" Dick asked.

Roy looked down at the shirt and pulled the collar to check. "Nope, all mine, birdbrain. I've got the chewed-up collar to prove it," Roy replied, "Oh, and I think I might've found a Chemistry tutor."

"Don't tell me-."

"Yeah," Roy interrupted.

"That's gonna end well," Dick sarcastically replied as Roy made his way up the stairs. "I know you're gonna go for her anyway, but I want it on the record that I warned you."

"You don't even know her," Roy replied.

"But I know you," Dick answered as he opened the door. Roy hung up and dropped his bag. "You always fall too hard."

"You don't fall hard enough," Roy replied. He dug through his dresser and put his pajamas in his shower caddy. "Have you called Kory yet?"

"I'm still thinking," Dick answered. He flopped back on his bed, eating a slice of pizza. Roy grabbed a slice from the box and sat on the floor.

"You love her, don't you?" Roy asked. Dick sat up.

"Of course, I love her... But, it's complicated. She's engaged to somebody else," Dick replied.

"It's an arranged marriage..."

"A marriage is a marriage, Roy. She's committing herself to somebody else," Dick replied, "Do you know how serious that is?"

"No, but I know you've been irritable since she left. You should've gone with her. Kory asked you to go with her," Roy answered.

"I don't know anything about her world... And I'm not gonna go watch her marry somebody else-."

"Don't be such a big baby. It's an arranged marriage, Dick. And how much do you wanna bet her and Prince-Whoever-The-Fuck can't stand each other?" Roy grinned.

Dick groaned. "Okay... Fine, talk about your tutor. Anything but this right now," Dick replied. Roy took a bite of pizza and sat next to Dick.

"She's smart. Really smart," Roy replied, "And-."

"A brunette?" Dick interrupted.

"That's where you're wrong. Her hair is jet black," Roy half-joked.

#fic #arrowfam #roy harper #jade nguyen #dick grayson #koriand'r #karras dc comics #ryand'r #angst #romance #secret relationships #arranged marriage #college au #dickkory #cheshroy #korykarras #hurt/comfort #kitten heel fic

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echodrops · 4 months

Text

The Promises I’m Making (2024)

Sheesh, this year it was even harder than last year to make promises. In particular, I really wanted to focus on promises that wouldn't cost as much money as in prior years, so I tried to steer clear of too many promises that would cost above the basic spending amounts... But it turns out it is really hard to make resolutions if you're broke. 😂

So here's what I'm going with:

2024 Promises

1) Step down from my administrative position and return to being a full-time faculty member. I literally cannot take the clown show that is admin at my work anymore. It is actually killing me.

2) Related to this, redecorate my new office as soon as they decide where they are going to move me.

3) Apply for new jobs!! APPLY FOR NEW JOBS!!!

4) Train my replacement in the chair position well so they are super prepared to take over in fall.

5) Put a new sink/vanity in the downstairs bathroom of the Utah house.

6) Get both bedroom floors sanded in the Utah house upstairs.

7) Finally get rid of the dirt pile in front of the Utah house.

8) Take down the remains of the wooden fence posts at the Utah house.

9) Fully clean out and prepare the Utah house to be rented out to new renters. Hopefully the next people won’t sneak in a parrot that poops all over the floor… RIP…

10) Clean off my back patio/car port area so I can park my car there again.

11) Call the plumber and replace the faucets. Even if I end up having to do it myself.

12) Get the dead tree removed from the Texas house yard and call the internet company to see about the cable around the tree root.

13) Plant roses where the old ones died in front of the Texas house.

14) Replace my CPU fan; the bearings are going out and it’s making an annoying noise.

15) Organize my documents (especially student papers)—my desktop and documents folders give me nightmares just looking at them.

16) Related to that, lose at least 20 pounds. 2020-2023 was not kind to me and the stress eating was real.

17) Do at least one artwork to actually use that paint program I bought.

18) Pay my credit debt down by at least $2000. I’m still paying off the hell year, but I hope I can make progress on this.

19) Buy all the Noragami volumes I am missing and do a complete re-read of Noragami now that the series is finishing up.

20) This is super nerdy, but my bro got me the FFXIV cookbook and made me promise to actually use it, so I guess I’d better at least try to make something from it.

21) Finish at least five books this year.

22) Update HaaH at least once. Please, Echo???

23) Reach the new level cap with all jobs in FFXIV!

24) Go to the graduation ceremony for my family friend.

25) Catch up with hanging up all the charms/pins I’ve gotten recently on my corkboards; these are just sitting in boxes/bags around the house. D;

26) Fully deep clean and vacuum/detail my own car at home. No more of the “It doesn’t make sense to clean it out now; the dog is just going to go back in it.” The dog is always going to go back in it. Clean it, Echo.

27) Help my parents tear out the carpet in my old childhood bedroom.

28) See at least three new species of birds. Doesn’t matter where, just three new ones!

29) Reach 3500 followers. Can I do it? You should follow me if you’re not already; I’m pretty cool. Just sayin’!

30) Cancel all the subscriptions I don’t need. There’s literally no reason to sit around letting companies passively profit off me when I don’t even really use the services/the services keep getting worse while the costs keep going up.

31) Go out on at least a day trip to take pictures with my friend. We haven’t done this in quite some time. I need to touch grass.

32) Repair the lovely one-of-kind ceramic plate that my dog broke with kintsugi. I want to try it at least once!

33) Really look hard for my passport in my house. It’s been missing for like a year and a half now, and I don’t want to have to pay for a new one.

34) Put all the small prints, postcards, and stickers I have collected in my new mini-print books. I can even use up washi tape to decorate too. (Finally, a purpose for the washi tape…)

35) Shred the million pieces of old mail I have lying around the house. I finally got the shredder so it just makes sense to use it.

36) Have more follow-through with chores. It’s not enough to wash the clothes or do the dishes if I then procrastinate on folding the clean laundry and putting the dried dishes back in the cabinets…

37) Put reminders for birthdays and major events in my phone as well as set a monthly reminder to check these promises. Maybe I’ll be able to keep more promises if I look at the list more often throughout the year!

38) Since I can’t afford to go to the salon, spa, etc. too much this year, I should at least do some self-care days at home. Will this be the year I finally manage to use all the fancy scrubs and face masks and bath salts I keep getting from people?

39) Use up one whole notebook. It doesn’t matter what goes in the notebook, but I gotta use the whole thing from cover to cover. I have so many pretty notebooks that never get used just because they’re pretty.

40) Change the burned-out lightbulbs in the recessed lighting in the Texas house ceiling. It’s like twelve feet high and the lightbulb charger stick I bought didn’t work, so I’m going to have to find someone with a ladder. Save me, handyman. Save me.

41) Build the pretty koi paper lantern my brother got me, or the Korean temple model my coworker gave me after his trip to Korea.

42) Actually use the yoga mat I bought forever ago. At least a few times, please???

43) Finish watching the Fruits Basket remake with Kacchan. I think we stopped in the second season, RIP.

44) Spend more time with coworkers—go out to lunch more often.

45) See about removing the PMI from at least one of my house loans to try to save money. I’ve been paying on these loans long enough I shouldn’t need PMI anymore.

46) Practice my German skills (or I guess other language skills?) by translating something at least once a month.

47) Get a new bookshelf. The current ones in both my office and foyer are already overflowing. @_@

48) Make more time to call people and talk on the phone. Texting is not the same. D;

49) Get the new COVID vaccine to stay healthy.

50) I will keep my promises!

Good luck, 2024’s me!

#50 promises #new year's resolutions #irl stuff #Echo is on the struggle bus #literally starting off Day One of the year with a cold #love this for me

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