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waitimcomingtoo · 3 years

Text

Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: when the Avengers notice signs of Peter having a girlfriend, they suspect he’s not as innocent as he seems

Masterlist

“Hey Pete the treat.” Tony greeted Peter as he passed him in the hallway. “Have you seen my screwdriver with the orange handle?”

“Oh, yeah.” Peter remembered. “I used it to fix my web shooters. It’s on my desk in my room.”

“Mind if I grab it?”

“Would you listen if I said no?” Peter asked, assuming he knew the answer?

“Nope.” Tony smiled at how well Peter knew him. “I’ll go get it.”

Tony waltzed into Peters room and went straight to his desk, rummaging through the papers and sketches he had strewn about.

“Now where are you hiding?” Tony drummed his fingers on his chin as he looked around Peters desk. He opened the top drawer and found nothing, so he opened the next drawer and began to rummage around. After moving a notebook to the side, Tony found an unopened box of condoms among Peters things.

“Hm.” Tony furrowed his eyebrows at the surprising find. “Well it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

He put it down and continued searching through the draw before the box caught his eye again.

“Value pack?” Tony read off the box. “Jesus.”

He shut the drawer and found the screwdriver in the next drawer, mindlessly tucking it into his pocket. As he left Peters room, the box stayed in his mind. He walked into the living room and found the rest of the Avengers chatting.

“What do you guys think about Peter?” Tony wondered as he toyed with the screwdriver.

“I don’t think about Peter.” Sam deadpanned.

“He seems lonely, no?” Tony shrugged. “He could use a companion of the female variety.”

“We should set him up.” Steve suggested. “He could use someone.”

“I don’t know.” Nat scrunched her nose. “He seems too young to be dating.”

“He’s in college now. It’s about time he gets a girlfriend.” Tony decided. “I had dozens by the time I was his age.”

“Are we even sure he likes girls?” Rhodey asked.

“He complimented my hair color once.” Nat shrugged.

“There we go.” Tony nodded, getting excited now.

“What are you guys talking about?” Bucky asked quietly as he entered the room.

“We want to set Peter up on a date.” Steve told him.

“Parker? I’m pretty sure he has a girlfriend.” Bucky said, making everyone look at him.

“What?” Tony asked. “No way.”

“Yeah. My room is next to his.” He shrugged. “He’s on the phone all night almost every night.”

“What?” Nat laughed in surprise. “With who?”

“Someone named Y/n I’m pretty sure.” Bucky went on. “I hear her name a lot.”

“Y/n.” Tony rolled it around his mind. “Interesting. I have to know more.”

“I think if Peter wanted us to know more, he’d tell us.” Nat clicked her tongue.

“And I think I don’t care.” Tony retorted. “I’m gonna find out more.”

That night, Tony sat in the dark as he waited for Peter to come home. He heard the elevator coming up and shivered with excitement at the incoming confrontation.

“Hey, Parker.” Tony dramatically turned on the light once Peter walked in the room, making Peter jump.

“Hi Mr. Stark.” Peter stammered as he took off his coat.

“Are you just getting back?” Tony asked coyly.

“Yeah, I was out with my…friend.” Peter shifted his eyes at the mention of you.

“Oh really?” Tony feigned a gasp. “What’s his name?”

“Her name is Y/n.” Peter said casually. “I was with her.”

“So I see.” Tony nodded. “Is she from school?”

“Yeah. She’s in my organic chemistry class.”

“So one might say you two have…chemistry?” Tony shrugged as he walked closer to Peter.

“Anyone with our schedules would say that.” Peter laughed nervously.

“Whats she like?” Tony persisted. “Is she pretty?”

“She’s great.” Peter smiled. “She can talk circles around me about just about anything. I don’t even know why we’re in the same class. She’s so much smarter than everyone in the room, even the professor. She’s just...she’s great.”

“So I hear.” Tony smirked. Peter completely avoided the “pretty” question, and that told Tony everything he needed to know.

“Hear?” Peter asked curiously. “What did you hear?”

“Thin walls, buddy.” Tony knocked on the wall. “Bucky told us all about your late night phone calls with your lady friend.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Peters face heated up. “I’ll be quieter.”

“You don’t have to be quieter.” Tony told him. “Bucky doesn’t deserve a peaceful nights sleep.”

“Why do you say that?” Peter asked.

“Because he murdered my parents. Night!” Tony threw up a peace sign before leaving the room. Peters jaw dropped a little before shutting. He quickly pulled out his phone and clicked on your contact.

“I think Mr. Stark is onto us” He texted you.

“Good. He can pay for our wedding 👀” You wrote, making him smile. He put his phone away and went to bed himself.

A few weeks later, Tony needed the screwdriver again and had an idea of where he could find it.

“Hey Pete. Did you use the screwdriver again?” Tony asked when he found Peter in the hallway.

“Yeah. It should be in the same place.” Peter informed him.

“Thanks.” Tony nodded and went into Peters room. He went to the desk, expecting to find the screwdriver in the same drawer it was in last time. When he didn’t find it there, he opened the drawer above it. Right on top of a pile of notebooks was the box from last time.

“I shouldn’t.” Tony sighed and chewed his lip. “But I’m feeling snoopy.”

Tony picked up the box and to his surprise, it was significantly lighter. Tony opened it up and peered inside, only to see it was nearly empty.

“Who did this to you?” Tony gasped. “Who took your goodies?”

Elsewhere in the tower, Peter was heading back to his room when he crashed into Natasha.

“Oh, sorry.” Peter apologized as he caught her before he could knock her over.

“It’s fine.” Natasha assured him, sniffing the air a little. “Why do you smell so good?”

“Hygiene is very important to me.” Peter straightened his shoulders to solidify his lie.

“Yeah, but,” she sniffed him again, “you smell fruity.”

“I’m a fruity boy.” Peter stated, regretting it immediately.

“Oh.” Natasha backed away a little, giving him a strange look.

“Not that kind of fruity.” Peter stammered. “I have to go.”

Just as Peter scurried away, Sam walked into the hallway.

“Am I crazy or did Peter smell like perfume?” Natasha pointed behind him.

“I don’t care.” Sam mumbled as he walked by.

“Romanoff.” Tony rounded the corner after leaving Peters room. “I think the Manchurian Candidiate was right. I think Peter has a girlfriend.”

“I think so too.” Natasha nodded. “He smelled like perfume just now.”

As Tony and Natasha exchanged evidence, Sam passed by Peters room just as he was going inside.

“Hey Sam.” Peter greeted before he shut his door.

“Don’t talk to me, Parker.” Sam mumbled without looking up.

“Sorry.” Peter chuckled and rolled his eyes, making Sam briefly look up.

“What’s that?” Sam narrowed his eyes when he spotted something peeking out over Peters collar.

“Whats what?” Peter asked as he pulled away.

“On your neck.” Sam caught his collar and pulled it down. “Is that a hickey?”

“No.” Peter said quickly as he covered his neck with his hand. “I burnt my neck with my curling iron.”

“Oh, okay.” Sam was satisfied with the answer. “Wait, what?”

“Bye Sam!” Peter stammered as he quickly shut the door.

Tony’s plans to interrogate Peter about his love life the following day were halted when he found Peters room empty. A quick check in with Friday showed Peter leaving earlier that morning with a few presents in hand. Tony sighed and went on with day, anxiously waiting for Peter to come home to get more information.

“Another late night.” Tony announced his presence as he flicked on the light. It wasn’t until after midnight that Peter had come back, so Tony waited him out in the living room.

“Oh, hi Mr. Stark.” Peter waved awkwardly, not having expected anyone to be there.

“Were you with Y/n again?” Tony asked casually.

“Yeah.” Peter smiled shyly as he shed his jacket. “It’s her birthday so I spent the day with her.”

“How come I never see her here?” Tony proceeded with caution, not wanting to overstep.

“She lives kinda far.” Peter shrugged. “That’s why we talk on the phone so much. I don’t want her driving all the way out here and she doesn’t want me swinging at night.”

“She knows?” Tony raised an eyebrow, not realizing they were at that level yet.

“Yes. But I only told her because I trust her.” Peter quickly assured him. “She won’t tell anyone. She promised me.”

“Oh, I’m not mad.” Tony smirked. “Trust is good. Especially in relationships, so I hear.”

“Yeah.” Peter smiled at the thought of you. “It’s good. We’re really good.”

“Have you told her you loved her yet?” Tony jumped to the point, taking Peter by surprise. “Because that smile on your face says you do.”

“I have.” Peter admitted as his face flushed. “And she told me she loves me too.”

“Aw.” Tony couldn’t help but smile at his protégé being in love. He was so moved that he took out one of his business cards and scribbled something on the back of it.

“Here.” He handed it to Peter. “Don’t abuse it.”

“Whats this?” Peter curiously looked at the number Tony had written in the card.

“It’s the number for my personal driver. One of them.” He corrected himself. “I always forget who I employ so I have about 18. This one makes unforgettable coffee cake, though.”

“Thanks Mr. Stark.” Peter smiled in appreciation. “But why are you giving this to me?”

“So you and Y/n can see each other.” Tony said simply. “And so more people can experience this coffee cake.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate this.” Peter said softly, knowing Tony wasn’t much for displays of affection.

“Don’t mention it.” Tony brushed it off. “Really, don’t. I don’t have enough personal drivers for everyone. I mean, I probably do, but I’m not known to share.”

“I won’t tell.” Peter nodded. “Goodnight, Mr. Stark.”

Tony have Peter a fond smile before nodding as well.

“Night kid.”

“Mails here.” Tony announced the following morning as the team sat around the kitchen table.

“Thanks for bringing it in.” Steve reached for an envelope addressed to him. “Who delivered it today? Was it Michelle or Rodney?”

“Michelle.” Tony concurred.

“Oh, nice.” Steve smiled. “I like her. She’s always friendly to me.”

“Yeah. Nice girl. Nice name too.” Tony put the plan into action. “That was the name of the first girl I ever kissed.”

“I remember my first kiss.” Steve recalled. “It was at a school dance when I was in high school. I bought her a milkshake after and she never spoke to me again.”

“What about you, Peter?” Natasha asked causally. “Have you had your first kiss?”

“Um, yeah.” Peter chuckled like it was obvious.

“With who?” Steve asked curiously, and the rest of the team leaned in to hear the answer.

“Um, my girlfriend.” Peter flushed a deep red as he avoided eye contact with the group. Everyone collectively let out a gasp at the news, making Peter flush even deeper. He looked up to a table full of dropped jaws and wide eyes and felt his ears turn red.

“Isn’t it neat?” Tony tried to take the attention off Peter. “The innocence of young love.”

“Yeah. Innocence.” Sam narrowed his eyes at Peter as the hickey on his neck suddenly made sense.

“When can we meet her?” Nat asked, and everyone nodded softly. Peter looked around in surprise, not having expected everyone to care as much as they did.

“You want to meet her?” He asked with a small smile.

“Of course.” Tony shrugged. “You’re on our team and if she’s your girlfriend-“

“She’s on our team too.” Sam concluded with a gentle nod. Everyone nodded in agreement, making Peters heart swell in appreciation.

“She was gonna come over so I could swing her around the city.” Peter told them. “I could ask her to come up and say hello.”

“I think you should.” Natasha encouraged. Peters lips twitched into a smile as he pulled out his phone to tell you to come up. Within a few minutes, you were coming up the elevator and Peters heart was pounding in his chest. He met you at the elevator and escorted you to the rest of the Avengers, his hand holding yours.

“Hi.” You smiled shyly as you met the team. “It’s nice to meet all of you. I’m Y/n.”

“Nice to meet you too.” Steve said politely. “I’m-“

“Steve, right?” You smiled a little. “Um, Peter talks about you guys all the time. You’re also a little famous.” You chuckled, and everyone laughed as well, breaking the ice.

“Yeah, I guess we are.” Steve smiled back at you. “So you’re the girlfriend? I can’t say Peter has told us that much about you.”

Peter looked at you anxiously, hoping you wouldn’t take that the wrong way.

“It’s okay.” You laughed and rubbed his shoulder. “We agreed to keep it on the down low. Plus, I doubt there’s anything about me that could impress the Avengers.”

“That’s not true.” Peter cut in as he twirled your hair around his finger. “You’re very impressive.”

“Tell us more.” Nat smiled as she leaned on her hand. Everyone watched you and Peters display of affection with childlike wonder, a collective peace settling in the room as they watched the baby of the team experience happiness.

“Y/n volunteers as a candy striper at the children’s hospital a few blocks from here. When she’s not with me, she’s there.” Peter bragged about you. “And she’s a lifeguard in the summers, CPR certified, valedictorian of her class, organ donor-“

“These are not impressive things.” You laughed as you cut him off.

“Yes they are.” Peter insisted. “She can make the worlds best brownies, her ponytails are always perfect on the first try, she can parallel park, she-“

“She sounds amazing.” Tony cut him off as he smiled at you. “And we��re very happy to finally meet her.”

“I just can’t believe the guy who watches Dance Moms in the living room with no shame actually has a girlfriend.” Sam snorted. “And a normal one too.”

“Why is it so surprising?” You wondered as you leaned on Peter arm.

“Because he’s so innocent.” Sam shrugged. “I doubted he ever even held a girls hand.”

“Wait, you thought Peter was innocent?” You laughed abruptly. “He literally webbed me to the headboard last night and-“

“Ah ah ah.” Peter quickly cut you off. “Some things are better left unsaid.”

“I think she should say them.” Bucky chuckled as he sipped his coffee.

“One time, he used his-“

“Well, Y/n and I really need to get going.” Peter cut you off and quickly ushered you to the door. “We won’t be out late.”

“It was nice meeting you all.” You called as Peter pulled you out the door.

“Nice meeting you too.” Tony yelled back. He and the team exchanged knowing looks, a collective happiness for Peter settling among them.

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kashimos-hajime · 4 years

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dear... whoever | b.b.

summary: a mandated series of long and short diary entries from the new head of R&D for Stark Industries.

WARNINGS: swearing, LOTS of fluff, mentions of drinking and sex and hospitals and guns, general fun and witty attitude, small angst, big jealousy, obviously au after civil war. everything after does not exist. pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader word count: 9.5k

a/n: written for @softbiker and 100% inspired by @sunmoonandbucky with the format. my prompt was let me love you by rita ora and i wrote it from the perspective the singer is singing it to rather than the actual singer. this was super fun to write. enjoy!

July 31/20

Dear…

Whoever is going to read this. So… me, in the future probably. So, it should be dear WHOMever, I think, but it sounds wrong.

Is it too cliché to say dear diary? I don’t know. After all, I don’t WANT to be writing this but unfortunately I am because it’s mandated. Apparently, the psychiatrist that works for Stark Industries thinks it’s necessary that I write down my feelings and show that I’ve adjusted to working part-time superhero, full-time head of Tony’s stupid R&D department.

Something about how that much stress can cause psychotic fractures in the worst case scenario.

Cute.

Anyway, I don’t know what to write. Currently, it’s 4:23AM. The only reason I’m awake is because I have trouble sleeping on the best night. I heard Barnes messing about and because I am the Hermit of the Rec Room Couch (catchy, I know), I can hear him just walking about.

What the hell is he even doing?

To be honest, I’ve never talked to Barnes besides the occasional greetings because he’s the sort to keep to himself, I guess, and, valid. I’m not saying it’s not, considering his history, but you know.

I think I’m a friendly person, and I’m bored. He’s eventually going to hear me writing noisily because of super-soldier hearing or whatever, so I might just get up and introduce myself.

Not that I’ve been working here for years, but whatever.

I’m really bored and hungry, honestly, so a trip to the kitchen would be considered normal (and warranted) in such circumstances.

Fuck it.

Time to make a new friend or die trying. If you never hear from me again, you’ll know why.

Aug. 1/20

Dear Jane,

I finally got the time to write in here and you may be wondering why I have named you. Well, after the conversation at roughly 4:30 AM, here are things that’ve changed in a disorganized list. None is more important than the other. I'm just writing what comes to my head.

One: Barnes said he doesn’t really let anyone call him James. I called him James once because I forgot. Profuse apologies followed. He said it was okay and didn’t mind me calling him that. Now, in my mind, I think he’s just saying this to be polite and really just wants me to call him Bucky but he seemed sincere. We’ll see how it goes.

Two: Barnes was awake because his cat woke him up. I didn’t even know he had a cat but it’s a gorgeous white cat named Alpine that Barnes carries around in his half-zipped up hoodies sometimes. It’s adorable. He’s super soft and friendly and I love him already. He showed me all the tricks Alpine could do. Amazing.

Three: Barnes’ favourite movie is the Godfather. Totally surprising there. Please tell me you understand sarcasm.

Four: He said he liked the name Jane when I told him what I was doing up and also in the rec room (couldn’t sleep, writing in my diary) and that I didn’t want to say “Dear diary”

“Why don’t you just give it a name?” he eloquently suggested and Jane was his answer to my question of “Which name?”

Five: Barnes, or James, I guess he is now, is my friend.

Six: We said we’d meet up at 4:30AM or earlier again because I told him I wanted to show him my s’mores dip recipe.

Seven: Wish me luck. Hope I don’t get murdered.

Eight: I think I might be in love with him.

Bye.

Aug. 5/20

Dear Jane,

In an effort to summarize what has happened in the past four days, I will open with the fact that James Buchana Barnes is the cutest motherfucker on the planet. He’s super old fashioned, but that’s a given. He opens the doors for me, offers to take my bags up, and in the past four days, we’ve met up at around midnight to just eat and chat. Then he walks me back to my room with a glass of water and I’m left fanning myself because it’s so sweet and he’s so sweet and OH, MY GOD, I am a child.

This feels like a crush. Like, butterflies in my stomach, self-conscious every time he looks at me, can’t stop staring, and wanting to impress him at every turn sort of crush.

AKA, a middle-school crush and I feel completely ridiculous but that is besides the point because he’s just the loveliest person.

Someone should tell him chivalry is dead. Steve thinks he’s just being sweet on me, and Sam says I should flash some ass just to get a rise out of him which would be funny. He’d look absolutely adorable blushing his head off.

We’ll see. I am considering it.

What else happened? I’m drawing a huge blank.

As explained in a previous entry, I was to show Barnes my s’mores dip recipe. Huge success. Crowd loved it. That’s how I learned he has a huge sweet tooth like me. Got an email from Pep about a board meeting which I ignored. If it’s really important, she’ll see me in person. Went swimming with Sam. We started planning Tony’s big Christmas party even though that’s MONTHS away.

But, you know. We’re so busy all the time, it might be worth it planning ahead.

As head of R&D, it’s vital to me that this goes well because they’re fun when they do go well, and a chaotic disaster when they don’t. Also, I have to find a date but details will follow.

I think that’s it.

If there’s more to follow, then I’ll just come back but there really isn’t.

Oh, Alpine found my room. He’s in here right now and he snores. It’s cute, just like his owner.

Okay, goodnight.

Aug. 7/20

Dear Jane,

Sam, James, and I went swimming.

Pro of the day: James is ripped and that man was GLISTENING.

Con of the day: I AM STUPID in front of hot ripped men.

Pro of the day: We got ice cream together. Strawberry for me, mango for James because he wants to try new flavours, and Sam ordered some monstrosity with vanilla ice cream, chocolate and raspberry syrups, and a bunch of banana slices. A swirl of whipped cream to finish it off. It looked like diabetes in a cup and that’s coming from me.

Con of the day: James used his thumb to wipe the ice cream off my lip and my brain short-circuited. Sam teased us about it, but James very stubbornly and convincingly said we’re just friends.

Con of the day x2: We are just friends and that is NOT going to change. I cannot explain how much my heart literally fell out of my body in disappointment.

God, and James and I are meeting up at 2AM tonight so he can show me this new stupid stuffed celerey recipe he learned.

It’s not stupid.

It’s really, REALLY cute he researched it.

This sucks.

Aug. 11/20

The worst day ever. I don’t want to talk about it but might as well make a note on it. More on it later, I guess.

Aug. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Sorry, I’m dramatic. Must get it from working with Tony for so many years.

Let’s just review what occurred on August 11, 2020, at approximately 3:23 in the afternoon.

I learned that James went out on a date. A DATE. From SAM. When James had ample opportunity to tell me at our regular meeting at witching hour over celery sticks.

EXCUSE ME? WHO IS THIS WOMAN?

I’m not even mad. I’m just angry that the man I became friends with only 2 weeks ago and caught feelings immediately for is seeing other people.

I sound like a raging bitch. I promise you, Jane, that I am not. I’m just the insanely jealous type.

No, I’m not.

God, what is happening to me and why does it have to be James.

I never get crushes and the instant I do, it’s for the most emotionally and physically unavailable person ON EARTH.

Also, work was work. I was distracted, drank soup from the canteen, and generally accomplished nothing. Alpine came for some snuggles while James was out. That’s the only good thing.

Thanks, universe.

Aug. 16/20

Dear Jane,

So, I brought up this mystery lady over homemade sundaes.

James seems pretty serious about her because he a) apologized for not telling because he wanted to keep it private and asked me not to tell anyone and b) has a second date with her later today.

Oh, GOD. There is no point to this.

Aug. 19/20

Dear Jane,

What’s the point of asking someone intimate, personal questions if not because you guys are best friends?

James called me his best friend today. He says he knows me, but if he did, he’d know I feel like throwing up whenever he’s around and that his stare burns through every layer of clothing until I feel like he just knows my secret.

I told him we’ve known each other less than a month, but he said something stupidly charming about “intuition” and feeling and that this feels right and how he knows he can tell me anything and that I was an easy person to talk to.

I should’ve been a shrink.

At least, my trip to Wakanda is going to give me distance. A solid two months of no one else but me, tech, and new faces. Going there to collaborate with Shuri is definitely exciting and taking up more space in my brain than James these days.

Maybe I’ll fall in love with some soldier over there because apparently, I’m catching feelings willy-nilly these days.

See you on the plane, Jane.

Aug. 23/20

Dear Jane,

On the quinjet, it’s fairly quiet. It’s one of the things I love about it. The silent yet soft engines that can lull me to sleep. We should be arriving in a few hours so I thought I’d write. I’m getting the hang of this, I think.

There's a press conference later, too, in the trip with the UN and it’s not that I can’t handle it, but that I could’ve done this in my sleep and wished Tony sent someone else. I hate the press, not gonna lie.

Anyway, this gives me time to be introspective.

Is it just me or James always Okay, is it just my imagination that whenever I try to get close to James, he just kinda pulls away? Not in a romantic way. I’m not stealing anyone’s man because girl code, but he won’t even let me just stand near him anymore. It’s like I have an infectious disease only transmitted through physical contact and it’s just weird.

I don’t know.

Before I left, he said he’d miss me and that we should keep in touch through calls (Obviously, I would) and that he hopes I won’t forget him.

So, you say those things but you won’t even let me even hug you?

You’re a manipulative asshole, Barnes.

Oct. 20/20

Dear Jane,

I am so sorry that it has taken so long for us to reunite.

In hindsight, I’m a fucking idiot.

I left you on the quinjet which went back to New York and a different quinjet came to pick me up. I came back like two days ago so these past few days have been spent searching for you.

James offered to help, and he seems normal again.

Weird. Guess he was just in a mood with the new girlfriend and adjusting to having me as a friend, too. Guys go through that, I guess.

In Wakanda, I did not, in fact, fall in love with a soldier or anything. I curse every day that I didn’t, trust me. I’m just as disappointed as you are because I just want to get over this stupid crush. For the two months I was gone, it was like I didn’t like James at all like that. Even during calls, I could pretend we were just two teammates keeping each other in the loop. He talked about his girlfriend, I listened, I explained science because he’s a nerd, and he asked questions like he was interested.

It was FINE.

Then, he was waiting for me when I came back to NYC and it slammed into me like Bruce in Hulk-mode.

James asked if I wanted to meet his girlfriend because she’d be coming around for the Halloween party anyway, and he thinks we’ll get along swimmingly.

He really said swimmingly. He is stuck in the wrong era, but we all knew that.

I said yes, to be polite.

Here’s to hoping she’s a vindictive bitch and I am justified in hating her entire being.

Oct. 22/20

Dear Jane,

I met her. She’s small and pretty and mature and normal.

If I wasn’t stupidly in my feelings about James, I’d love her, too.

She’d treat him right, give him a good home to come back to.

Best not to notice the people fighting beside you in that way, I guess.

Oct. 25/20

Dear Jane,

God is dead and NO ONE has eyes on the road.

Jesus isn’t even taking the wheel on this one.

It’s a fucking disaster.

I do not want to describe in every little detail the intricacies of dreaming about James Buchanan Barnes fucking my brains out, so I won’t, but this is for the record that it happened and how the fuck am I supposed to come back and see him in his probably gorgeous attempt at his recreation of Brendan Fraser from the Mummy AKA my favourite movie (which HE KNOWS THAT IT IS?? GOD, the audacity.)

Girlfriend (his girlfriend. “Girlfriend” is the name which she shall be henceforth known as in these entries because petty wins are all I have right now) is dressing as Rachel Weisz. Because “couples goals” or whatever.

I wouldn’t know. Sam and I are dressed up as sexy salt and pepper shakers (his idea, not mine) and he made me take the salt stick because I think he knows. Steve’s not dressing up because he’s more focused on handing out candy as Captain America.

Tony is… Tony. Iron Man and all that.

Anyway, I’m out of town in DC for a meeting with the Secretary of State for a few days, but I’ll be back in New York on the 30th so I’ll have a few hours to adjust to being around James again before he dons on that outfit that I know will be totally hot.

He called me his best friend again in his latest email.

Made me smile like an idiot, but I digress.

Nov. 1/20

Dear Jane,

Halloween was killer. Sam and I won best duo for costumes because we’re that good. Ate a lot of candy and it seems to be looking up.

I dunno. I didn’t mind James and Girlfriend on the couch that much in the after-party. Mostly stuck by Nat and Sharon and Tony. An ood trio, but a fun one nonetheless.

It was fun, but I still have to go to work no matter how many jello shots and vodka gummy bears consumed.

Wish me luck, not that I need it.

Why do you think Tony hired me?

Nov. 4/20

Dear Jane.

Natasha said I smile at James in a way that utterly betrays every emotion I want to hide in my chest.

Note to self: Don’t smile at James, or at his jokes, or at anything he ever does again. Avoid him. Put a stopper on this friendship.

Note to note to self: I can’t. He just makes me smile whenever he’s around and he’s always around. There’s no simpler way to put it.

I’m gonna try this hiatus thing, though. Distance myself a bit. We’ll see how it goes.

Nov. 13/20

Dear Jane,

Day nine of this hiatus business and it sucks. I miss my best friend.

We’re scheduled for a mission together, and we’re leaving tomorrow so I was going to have to talk to him during the briefing and the op either way.

Well, glad to know this didn’t work.

Nov. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Guess who just got fucking shot!

ME!

Guess even scumbags can’t take a holiday because some stupid arms dealer got a cheap shot on me while I was downloading their whole computer system and other tech mumbo-jumbo I am too high to write about.

James left a few hours ago with the rest of the team, but not before he got me a bunch of ice chips and said he was worried and that he hopes I get better soon. He even promised to get me some flowers to spruce up the room and to say my HEART went CRAZY is an understatement.

He came to my rescue, essentially, as soon as he heard I got pinned. He carried me to the quinjet the instant he cleared the area and stayed by my side the whole time even though the bleeding stopped and I was in good hands. He was just so protective, barking at doctors and nurses. It was embarrassing but also really, really sweet.

Is it weird of me to say that I want him to stay by my side forever?

I’ve never fallen in love before.

Is it always this fast and this hard? I feel like I’m crashing instead of gently and wonderfully falling. Everything is dumb and awful.

Is this what love is like? Because it hurts worse than getting shot because I think I’m going to vomit flowers or butterflies or something.

God, he’d never love me. We’re just friends and even though we have a lot in common, he’d never. It’s just too much of the past in the present or whatever.

Also, he has a girlfriend but it seems very surface-level. God, that makes me sound like a “one of the boys” type of girl who’s a bitch to one of the boy’s new girlfriends, but I don’t know. James told me they don’t really talk about the deep stuff like we do. But she makes him happy, I think.

In hindsight, one may ask what the deep stuff is.

More on that later. I’m tired.

God, why him?

I HATE THIS.

goodnight.

Nov. 16/20

Dear Jane,

James visited again today. He sat beside me and we talked until the nurses had to kick him out. He also brought the flowers.

I asked about Girlfriend casually. I said I liked her.

He said he did, too.

I don’t know why I think he’s lying. No, I do.

It’s because jealousy is the green-eyed bitch from highschool who still shows up in my life because she thinks she’s relevant to society.

That was mean. Unrequited love makes you mean. Side effect noted.

P.S. The deep stuff includes his past, his arm, his memory, his favourite colour. I dunno why that matters. It just does.

Nov. 17/20

Dear Jane,

Got out of the hospital today because of advanced technology and all that. Nothing’s left but a scar and residual soreness. James helped me to my room and said to call him if I had a problem.

I joked that he has a girlfriend and for some reason, he got really weird about it. It’s hard to describe. I dunno. Nat dropped by for popcorn and movies.

It’s 2:32AM. I’m wondering if he’s in the kitchen but I’m confined to bed rest so I don’t know. Also, Nat is asleep beside me and I don’t want to bother her.

Hopefully I can get up and move in a few days. Life is boring.

Nov. 24/20

Dear Jane,

Sorry we haven’t caught up in a moment. Work’s been hectic and I’ve been working overtime trying to make ends meet. Most days I’m in the office or lab, just trying to get enough things done so I can take time off come Christmas.

James stopped by tonight with Chinese takeout and some sweet buns.

He broke up with his girlfriend, too.

Guess that’s why he was being weird about it.

I tried being as casual as I could asking why, but he didn’t want to talk about it, so I asked why he came by. Couldn’t be for the company because when I’m in work mode, I just don’t talk and he knows that.

He said something about his arm feeling funny so I gave it a quick diagnostics check.

I think both of us knew his arm was feeling fine.

Everything is stupid, life is meaningless, and James’ lips are the prettiest shade of pink in the ugly lights of the lab.

I would very much like to have kissed him, but I didn’t.

Girl code.

It’ll probably be a while before I get another chance to actually have time and energy to write another diary entry. Christmas season’s coming close and Pepper is gonna need help with the party.

Yay, me.

Dec. 4/20

Dear Jane,

Morgan asked me in less eloquent words if I had a boyfriend (it was more like “You boyfriend?” But whatever. Who even taught her that word?) and I swear to GOD Nat could not make it anymore obvious looking at James.

Remind me to absolutely throttle her. I don’t care if she’s the infamous Black Widow. She has clearly never seen me hopped up on nothing but a negative amount of sleep and rage/embarrassment/spite/all of the above.

On another note, Pep asked if I was bringing a plus one for the party. I said I’d think about it. Normally I’d just take Sam but he has his eyes on someone at the VA and I like my friends getting laid so no go there.

Might just go alone. I don’t know.

Pep said I should take James, but I don’t really think she knows the truth about that situation. Luckily, Tony instantly rejected the idea and said he’d find me a date if I couldn’t.

Thank the universe for at least placing me in the close circle of the most well-known and richest man in the world because he also gave me his card and said go wild.

He knows me so well. I’m thinking about Christmas shopping when I have another free day, and I’ll pay for that with my own money, of course, but clothes shopping is a free market.

I cannot wait.

Dec. 12/20

Dear Jane,

I wish I could show you my haul, but I got so much stuff Happy had to drive to help me. Besides obvious gifts, I also managed to snag a gorgeous dress for the party.

Thoughts on black and gold?

I think it’s beautiful. Hopefully Nat and Sharon think so. We’re having a girls night tonight and showing off outfits, so that’s exciting.

James asked if we could meet up tonight.

I told him I had plans and he looked so downcast.

I dunno. Everything feels weird between us. Like we’re fine, we’re best friends still, but something’s changed when no one was looking. He’s single now. I guess that energy is different because I had gotten used to his energy with ex-Girlfriend.

I don’t exactly mind but it’s not ideal either. I miss summer. It’s much less complicated than winter. Winter, one has to worry about wind and chills and snows blocking roads, black ice, dry skin, freezing fingers.

Summer: there’s just a lot of sun, wind, bugs, and the vaguest notion of being bored.

Look, I love winter. It’s my favourite season. It’s quiet and gorgeous and dreamy, even though it gets dreary in New York. The snow falls slowly sometimes, Christmas is gorgeous here, and I’d rather be cold than sweating buckets, and there are no bugs to bother me. Also, it gives me a good reason to stay in the labs or in my room where it’s warm and toasty.

I just miss the relative simplicity when James and I were just strangers on the edge of being friends, which is, in retrospect, a selfish reason to like one season and hate another.

Well, some philosopher somewhere probably said something about humanity being selfish.

Dec. 16/20

Dear Jane,

T-minus nine days until the party.

No date in sight.

Maybe I’ll ask Anderson from HR. We had coffee together a few times and he’s nice. Good catch: smart, not too bad looking, and really nice. I’ll head down tomorrow and ask.

Alpine had purred when I told him my plan and headbutted my hand, so I guess I got the Alpine-Seal-of-Approval.

Dec. 17/20

Dear Jane,

Operation: Ask Anderson from HR to Tony’s Christmas Party failed. Granted, it could’ve been because that was a god awful title and that that name, in itself, prophesied catastrophic failure, but also because I was accosted by my best friend.

I wish I meant Sam.

Nope. James caught me in the elevator and we made small talk. Sounds fine, right? Then we turned the topic to the party. Talked about clothes and prospective celebrity appearances and drinks and food. Just about everything, so might as well turn to talks about dates, which meant I had to explain why I was in the elevator in the first place.

Going down to ask Anderson ended in James revealing that he didn’t have a date either.

He doesn’t know who Anderson is, which I thought would be the case, and he popped the question before the doors opened.

Notice how I said “didn't” have a date.

Guess who’s going to the party with James, clearly stated as friends, platonic soulmates, etc.?

Me.

Yippee.

Dec. 18/20

Dear Jane,

It’s 3:42AM and I’m in the rec room as usual. I was gonna not write here today but it normally helps me sleep to just write a bit, get what little thoughts are in my head out. Yeah.

I hear James in the kitchen talking to Alpine and it’s making me smile like an idiot.

Oh, shit, he knows I’m in here. He’s making milkshakes.

I am morally obligated by best friend duties to join him.

Goodnight, Jane.

Dec. 24/20

Dear Jane,

I’m not sleeping with James Buchanan Barnes tomorrow night.

This is a resolute promise. An early New Year’s resolution.

Dec. 25/20

Dear Jane,

Merry Christmas!

In between jovial festivities, I’ve finally found a little nook that’s quiet enough to write in. We opened presents, had a big family breakfast, went skating and just lounged around, and frankly, I’m exhausted. Need to recharge the old social battery.

Among the assortment of gifts is one that stands out to me. James got me a gift that said “Open When Alone” and I did before I started this entry and it was a fucking necklace. Like, a gorgeous one. It’s gold and thin and it feels wonderful. There’s a little cat paw charm on it and it’s so pretty because he has a matching bracelet for himself and I have still not yet recovered.

It’s just so sweet and it reminds me why I love him.

Yes, love has made me unbelievably sappy. I just heaved the biggest sigh in history.

Unfortunately, I have to go earlier tonight. To the party, as written in previous entries. I remember my oath of one-night celibacy and I intend on keeping it, despite how fucking endearing this gift was, because he said it best: we’re just friends. I’m not about to coerce my best friend into sleeping with me out of a piteous, unrequited love. That’s just gross.

You will either see me hungover tomorrow, or very drunk later tonight. It’s all very depending on how this night turns out.

Dec. 26/20

Dear Jane,

Fuck.

P.S. He REALLY does not mind me calling him James. Take that as dirtily or as clandestinely as you wish.

Dec. 27/20

Dear Jane,

I spent the entire day in bed with very pleasurable company.

I am SO GLAD we haven’t gotten called in because James doesn’t leave unless to go to sleep in his own bed or to eat, and I do NOT want to explain to the team that James fucked my brains out for two days straight because my heart is bursting.

He’s a good kisser. His lips are soft.

Intimate knowledge of that is now burned into my memory for future reference.

God, this is a dream come true. He doesn’t even question it, he just

It’s like I’m a goddess to him. He treats me like one, at least, and it’s like he’ll do anything I ask. And we act like it’s normal, too. Midnight trips to the kitchen included.

Best Christmas ever.

Dec. 28/20

Dear Jane,

I feel like I’m ignoring you but I’m also having the best sex of my life. He’s just… so fucking good and it’s a holiday and holy shit my mind is blown.

Love at first meeting isn’t real.

Well, maybe this one time, it was destiny.

Dec. 29/20

Dear Jane,

It isn’t just the sex, you know? It’s the pillowtalk, too. He just makes me laugh so much and everything is so easy between us and it feels real. Popcorn and chips in bed, some mojitos, just each other’s presence. It’s enough like that, you know?

Some quote about how the one you love should be both your lover and your best friend is in my head but I’m too lazy to look it up. James’ head is in my lap and he’s just reading while I’m writing and everything seems perfect.

He doesn’t ask what I’m writing because he knows it’s private and I trust him.

This is perfect.

I think I really am IN love with him.

Jan. 1/21

You know that cliché/tradition of New Year’s kisses?

WELL THEN.

Best (and worst) New Year’s ever. I’ll explain more later. I’m too tired and too angry and also sore and bruised.

See you when I’m not hungover.

Jan. 5/21

Dear Jane,

I’m finally stable enough to write.

In a crazy turn of events, Barnes and I got into a fight because of what happened after New Year’s Day’s events: I caught him leaving before I woke up and at first, curious questions ensued, and it wasn’t a fight but then it became one and I don’t even know how it happened. I wasn’t even mad. He just started being weird and I got annoyed and we tried and failed to keep our voices down. Luckily, my room is pretty soundproof.

Things just got out of hand and I feel like tearing my hair out. I wanna storm up to him and just yell some more.

Tony came into my room and didn’t say shit about my hickies and the fact that James is avoiding me like the plague. He gave me a really good hug, though and then gave me a few weeks off extra. I don’t know how he knows, but then again, it’s Tony.

He just said love’s tough sometimes.

Yeah, tell me about it.

I’m thinking about just taking a long vacation and disappearing. It seems like a good route to take at this point.

Jan. 6/21

Dear Jane,

James is looking at me right now as I write this. I wonder if I should look back or if he’s going to come up to me. We’ll see.

I’m only writing this so it seems like I’m busy. I’m running out of things to say, honestly. Can he just go? What’s the point in staring like that? What’s the point?

I could ask myself the same question. What’s the point in loving someone who’ll never love you? Yeah, he’s sleeping with me but he pulls away every time I try to do something more. Outside the bubble of my room and the small time frame of post-11PM to around 4:45AM, he acts like he’s allergic to intimacy.

It was never like that with ex-Girlfriend.

Maybe it’s something to do with me.

I don’t know, but he keeps looking and I want to get up and leave, but I won’t. I’m not gonna let him win.

Jan. 6/21

He didn’t. He just went out. Sam and Steve asked if I was okay because as soon as he left, I got up for the bathroom and screamed into a towel.

I don’t think either of them knows what’s going on, but they have a notion.

Jan. 9/21

Dear Jane,

He apologized. Still no explanation as to why, but it feels weird.

I told him I’m going on a vacation to Switzerland. Go skiing or something and asked if he wanted to come.

It was stupid to ask, but he said yes.

Shit.

Jan. 14/21

Dear Jane,

Switzerland is lovely.

No work is relaxing. Awkwardness between me and the other traveller on this vacation. Weather’s supposed to be nice when we get there. Sunny snow days, pretty mountains, other Swiss things.

No other comment.

Jan. 21/21

Dear Jane,

I lasted all of a week.

Yep, I slept with him again, and yes, he was back in his hotel bed come sunrise.

I dunno. I’m over it. We don’t apologize and hope everything gets back to normal because neither of us want to say anything to ruin it any further and we both have a major fear of the complicated. To be fair, he said he didn’t want to sleep with me if I was completely against it.

Also, I tried calling him Bucky at dinner like ex-Girlfriend (and everyone else) does and he made the most disgusted face.

He said, and I quote, “Bucky? When did I stop being James?”

I told him I was trying something out and he said it failed. Snarky bastard.

I guess if he’s still James, that must mean I’m still special.

That’s the Tony-inherited ego talking.

But it does make me exceptionally happy to play with the idea that I’m special to him. Best friend with convoluted benefits. Sounds like the title of a very long-winded self-help book that doesn’t really help much but that does sound like the story of my life so I can’t complain too much.

We’re going home in a few days.

I’ll probably sleep with him again. Bet Steve’s shield that I do.

Jan. 24/21

Dear Jane,

I get three Steve’s shields because I was right every single fucking day.

He’s like a habit I can’t quite kick and don’t really want to.

We snuggled afterwards last night. His arm was around my shoulders, we were naked, I was resting my head on his chest. For a moment, it felt like something couples do and then I fell asleep and woke up alone.

Quantum physics is easier to understand than this but I think we’re being mutually exclusive right now, so it’s almost dating.

I dunno. I don’t mind it anymore. It’s better than nothing.

Feb. 2/21

Dear Jane,

I’m absolutely miserable.

I’m still getting laid, but that’s not related. Correlation and causation or something.

Why is New York so dreary and when can everything just stop?

I don’t know. Winter is ending and now it’s in that awful transition phase between seasons and it’s mucky and rainy and disgusting. Tony got these limited edition ice cream flavours though so I’m gonna ask James if we can make milkshakes out of them or something.

He doesn’t like the muck either. That’s not really relevant, I guess.

Feb. 14/21

Dear Jane,

I got flowers and chocolate from the department because I think they can sense I’ve been in a bad mood since forever. Then, there was an anonymous delivery and inside was this gorgeous chain bracelet that matches the necklace sort of. I lied and told the department it was from Pepper.

What a wretched holiday.

Yours truly.

Feb. 18/21

Dear Jane,

Normally, when boys get their haircut, they look ugly for a day or two after.

Not James.

He got his hair cut shorter and he looks really good. Like unbelievably good. Short hair fits him just as much as long hair does.

No other observations.

Feb. 25/21

Dear Jane,

It was Morgan’s birthday party today. James came in one of those brown jackets with the sheepskin wool inside and he looked so good. We mainly stayed apart to prevent any dalliance because one does not disappear from the Madame Secretary’s birthday party and the team doesn’t really know what’s happening behind the scenes except for Nat and Tony, really.

I really wanted to kiss him in front of our friends. I caught him staring a few times, and every time, the smile seemed to vanish off his face.

I’m lying in bed and it feels pretty empty.

It occurs to me that I’ve been in love for a pretty long time and I’m not even in a relationship with the guy.

Energy could’ve been devoted to so many other things and I’d hate being in love if it weren’t for the fact that it’s James.

Again, love making me sappy and all that.

Feb. 28/21

Dear Jane,

Jane is such a common name. Some would call it plain yet it means gift from God.

I wonder if James knew that.

Mar. 10/21

Dear Jane,

It’s James’ birthday. Birthday sex is a requirement and a desire. I also got him a gift which is a pair of new black Timbs. I hope he likes them. I’m excited for cake, I guess. Morgan did my makeup but I’m gonna have to wipe it off for the small little party tonight.

I think, ordinarily, I’d be in knots because it’s James’ birthday and I love him and he’s my best friend, but I just don’t know. March is fairly boring and contemplative and rainy. Work is work. Helen Cho did a presentation on her Cradle technology. Very cool.

Mar. 20/21

Dear Jane,

It’s raining and doesn’t feel like spring. Alpine vomited on my bed a few days ago because he’s not feeling well. James and I took him to the vet and he’s on antibiotics. Poor boy. He’s sleeping in the corner of my room right now while James is away on a mission. I think I’ll just work from my room for a bit until he’s feeling better.

Nothing much to report, which is why I didn’t write anything. The month passed by too quickly. James should be back by the end of the month. I miss him and not because of the sex. No one else who doesn’t work for me or pays me listens to me ramble on their own free will. Talking to screens just isn’t the same.

April 1/21

James got back really early this morning and I, by tradition, was awake. I sort of wish I wasn’t though. In true April Fool’s tradition, I made fun of him for being a day late to which he genuinely apologized. I told him to shower and get to sleep but he was in that mood where you’re so exhausted you’re wide awake.

James suggested we make really strong cocktails for each other as a celebration for an extraction mission completed successfully.

Who am I to say no to celebrating?

He really likes grapefruit juice so I made a REALLY strong Grapefruit Paloma. He made this really interesting drink that was purple and tasted like oranges and cranberries. A lot of blue curacao was in it so it was pretty bitter but it hit like a fucking truck which is probably why I didn’t understand anything he said at first.

He told me he loved me.

I think, somehow, he managed to get drunk after the Grapefruit Paloma and two more bottles of vodka. Don’t ask me how because Steve NEVER gets drunk. Maybe HYDRA-brand serum is faulty? I don’t know.

I asked if he knew what date it was. He laughed really loudly, said no, realized, stuttered apologies and then said it again.

It was the most perfect sound in the world and it was the best moment in recent history.

Or, the sickest practical joke.

Consensus not yet reached.

April 2/21

Dear Jane,

I asked if he remembered what happened yesterday morning.

He did not.

Sickest practical joke confirmed.

April 9/21

Dear Jane,

I’ve been avoiding writing because I’ve felt a whole lot of nothing. Everything is abysmal and James’ confession is all I can think about. Tony’s on my ass about slipping and he has half the mind to put me on paid leave until I get my shit together, both as the head of the department and as an agent.

Drunk words are sober thoughts, all that garbage.

I wish I could live my whole life drunk and honest. Maybe then I wouldn’t be in this situation where I’m stuck in eternal limbo with my best friend whom I’m in love with. Minus the drunk part.

Duty demands I return to this weathered journal until it’s finished so we’ll see. I might be back this month. Maybe not.

May 1/21

Dear Jane,

It rained a lot in April so now the flowers are blooming early. April showers bring May flowers. Guess it has some merit to it.

Limbo sucks. Its inescapable nature, its terrible facade of everything seeming fine when it really isn’t.

Of course, James still makes me smile, but nothing seems really okay when I let myself stop for a second.

I’m going out with Steve to a charity thing tomorrow. Should be a few hours worth of not thinking and free booze. Oh, and James and I made out in one of the quinjets after dinner today.

Felt weird considering we aren’t a couple, but it happened spontaneously as that is the nature of our relationship, it appears.

The cause also happens to be the cure of melancholy. Weird.

May 6/21

Dear Jane,

For context, it’s 5:23AM.

Went for a walk in Madison Square and then Central Park with James yesterday, although in my head it’s still today. We met up with Nat for some training at the gym. Got a bit mobbed by fans and the paps who asked if we were dating like we’re the tabloid’s biggest scoop.

We weren’t even holding hands, but I guess it’s just another reason why we shouldn’t be TOGETHER together in public.

We had another deep stuff talk again in bed after the usual business. I wanted to ask what this is between us and if he’s pursuing other options, because I’m not and I wanted to know if I should, but I also didn’t want to ruin the vibe.

He was in a good mood today, and seeing as sometimes he has nightmares, I thought it was best I don’t ruin it. He thinks I don’t notice but how do I not notice? He’s my best friend.

I kissed his cheek when he got up to leave and he kissed me goodbye on the lips.

I guess that means something.

May 17/21

Dear Jane,

In a moment of complete boredom, I listened to Imagine Dragons’ new album. It wasn’t too bad, to be honest, but Sharon thought it could’ve been better. Whatever.

May 22/21

Dear Jane,

Ran into ex-Girlfriend today. She still has that whole sunshine thing going on still. We had coffee and she asked if I got together with James yet.

I choked on my coffee and nearly died on the spot.

That’s how I learned that James apparently broke it off softly and ex-Girlfriend had, very wisely and knowingly, said that he should chase the apple of his eye before I (the apple) rotted alone and forgotten at the trunk of the tree. Or, as any sane person would say (and ex-Girlfriend DID say), get picked from the tree by another hand.

She said it was quite obvious that I was in love with James even months ago. She also thanked me for being so nice, anyway, and that it must’ve been difficult. What a fucking SAINT.

I set her up with a date with Steve because they have the same energy, honestly, and that’s going down on the 26th barring any emergencies.

Call me Cupid, but I think I just constructed the perfect match made in heaven.

Mentioned this meeting to James minus the apple detail. He asked if she was doing okay, which she was, and seemed glad for that. Between kisses and his sneaking hand beneath the covers, he also asked if there was anything else. Not really much to say on that front.

June 3/21

Dear Jane,

It’s starting to dry up consistently, now. It’s getting warmer, too. Sam brought me flowers and told me to at least turn the air-con on if I was gonna be stuck in the lab all day. Oh, the simplicities of summer are hopefully returning. Got out early and hung out with Morgan at the park in the evening.

It’s nice to hang out with someone so blissfully unaware with the stupidity of love. All Morgan cares about is grass and buttercups she grabs from the ground. She doesn’t have to worry about how to tell the guy she’s in love with that she loves him.

Oh, didn’t you hear? Nat said I should just buck the fuck up and tell him.

And Nat is scary when not listened to.

Much to brainstorm about.

June 14/21

Dear Jane,

Just here to brainstorm some ideas for future Stark Industries projects and thought I’d preface it with a small diary entry. Nothing really happened. Work’s catching up for some reason and bad guys are acting up. I’ve pulled a few all nighters, not gonna lie.

Really tired, but in a good, productive way. Haven’t thought much on the James front. Gonna have to focus on that after everything calms down.

June 20/21

Dear Jane,

It’s officially summer and yet today was awful with only subtle hints of being okay.

So much for simplicity.

In the evening, I read on the hammock on the balcony. No one really bothered me except James, but he’s never a bother.

Steve and ex-Girlfriend (who will now be reidentified as Girlfriend) are pretty cute, and she meshes well with the group. There’s nothing really awkward between her, James, or me, so I guess two people’s summers are going well. Bully for them.

Didn’t really eat. Was too busy working. James got me dinner. Didn’t feel right and just kept working. This whole agreement between us has been very flexible but we really need to fit in a session soon.

I’ll make it work somehow.

June 22/21

Dear Jane,

I got my wish and didn’t at the same time. We spent the whole day in the sheets (very blissfully relaxing) and I, stupidly and with very little sleep, let it slip.

In less elegant terms, I told him I loved him. It felt very real and genuine and very-out-of-a-movie, but his reaction was less so.

What did I say? Allergic to intimacy.

He tried to play it off as best friends and even that was uncomfortable, but I, very seriously and very foolishly, corrected him that “no, James Buchanan Barnes, I am IN LOVE with you.”

He left a few minutes ago, saying something about heading down to the gym, but I know he’s just trying to avoid me.

God, how am I so stupid?

June 25/21

Dear Jane,

I haven’t seen James in a few days. I thought he was avoiding me but turns out he’s out of the country. Something about protection for whatever dignitary is travelling at the end of the month. I don’t know.

I wasn’t assigned to that op so the details weren’t shared liberally. Sam just said it’d be a while during the ambassador’s entire stay. High threat level which is why the Avengers were contracted.

I just hope he stays safe. I know he probably took off to take his mind off things, but I don’t know how he’s focusing when all I can think of is those three little words.

I love you.

Seems so fake the more I hear it in my head, but his reaction was so real that I think I might’ve just irreversibly messed things up.

July 12/21

Dear Jane,

It’s been a hectic couple of weeks. If future me finds this with blotted words, it’s because I am indeed crying while writing this.

James was medically evac’ed last night and transferred back to New York. Helen Cho was flown in from her medical conference in Minnesota where she was showcasing the newest version of the Cradle.

There was an assasination attempt and James is fucked up bad.

Holy shit, I’m so scared. I’ve never been so scared in my life. It’s like an invisible demon has my heart in his claw-like hands and he’s squeezing with all his might. I think my heart might explode.

I just want to hold his hand but he’s so high risk no one’s allowed to see him right now.

The waiting room is too quiet. Steve’s holding on to Girlfriend’s hand so hard I think her bones are broken but she’s taking it like a champ. Nat’s pacing, slowly patting a sleeping Morgan who she’s carrying. Sam and Tony are talking about stuff.

It’s too quiet.

I’m so scared.

July 13/21

They got him into the Cradle. Thank God. I think I might cry some more out of relief, but he was conscious for a few minutes earlier and he’s stable now.

It’s really late at night but they extended privileges to me to stay with him so I’m just sitting here, writing. Listening to the Cradle do its thing and the monitors do theirs.

When he was conscious, I was with him. He said some stuff under his breath but the one thing I could make out was “I’m an idiot.”

Granted, he’s right. It was supposed to be Steve or Tony on that mission. You know, people with more defense op experience, but he had to go out and volunteer himself.

I feel sort of guilty.

It’s partially my fault, isn’t it?

I think I’ll try to tuck in for tonight. I wanna be awake when he wakes up, too.

July 14/21

Dear Jane,

James woke up today. He’s still in the Cradle (lots of internal damage spread throughout the body) but he’s conscious. He saw me and immediately tried to sit up which was sweet, but when he couldn’t, he just told me to come closer and then told me that he loved me.

I called him an idiot for running away. I told him he really scared me. I told him that I loved him so fucking much. I told him that I feel so guilty and he just held my face and said that it will never be my fault.

He’s so fucking romantic, even when he’s lying down with a wound being stitched closed live in front of my eyes.

Oh, and he kissed me. I don’t think I noticed how much I actually missed him until that moment.

I don’t know how to describe the feeling in my chest. It’s a mixture between super happy and super scared and super, super warm inside. Summer might be looking up.

July 18/21

Dear Jane,

We got home today. James is staying in my room. The team doesn’t say anything about it. We’re best friends, after all, but I think they’ve known for a long time that there’s something more. Some of them are just too polite to say so.

I won’t have much time to write over the next couple of days. James has to be kept on a strict, extremely healthy diet and medicine regime.

I don’t care. I’m just glad he’s home.

He’s kissing me a lot more, now. Alpine likes the fact that his two humans are now in the same room. He purrs so loudly, I can hear him from where he’s dozing, curled up underneath James’ chin. He (James) is resting after his second round of antibiotics for the day while I work from my room, and sometimes I catch myself looking back just to make sure he’s okay.

I’m going to go kiss him now.

Be right back.

July 21/21

Dear Jane,

It’s almost Nat’s birthday (the 26th). Super exciting. James is back on solids and I’m helping him around with walking. Even with the Cradle and the healing factor, he’s still super banged up, so it’s better safe than sorry.

We had a really long talk about love and stuff. It’s good to finally have it out in the open. It was mostly me talking about my side of things and he just nodded a lot. I know he was listening though.

We also kissed a lot, like seventeen year old couples who are heavy on the PDA, but within the privacy of my room. I dunno. I like the heat of his arms and the way he kisses the shell of my ear when he’s bored or it’s a commercial break.

It feels very natural.

I am very much in love with him.

I tell him that and he always looks skeptical, but whatever. He doesn’t have to say it back (I tell him that there’s no pressure) and he’ll get it through his thick skull eventually that he’s now stuck with me.

July 25/21

Dear Jane,

We made cookies in the early AM as tradition for the party tomorrow and I told him that I love him (again, but this time he didn’t run, nor has he the past few times. Fantastic).

While the cookies were baking, he explained everything on his side of the story: how he was scared to be vulnerable, how opening up to me is just different and new and scary and I get it. I really do. I know how it feels to think you don’t deserve good things and sabotage feels like the only way to save everyone from hurt.

He smiled a lot more after that. I guess he’s just glad I get it.

One day, I’ll successfully convince James that he deserves everything good this world has to offer.

Until then, I’ll just keep trying.

P.S. He said, with less hesitation than the first time, that he loves me, too. Best. Day. Ever.

P.P.S. The cookies are so good and I want to devour them all. I could barely stop James from eating all of them. Again: Best. Day. Ever.

July 26/21

Dear Jane,

In summary of today:

Happy birthday, Natasha.

James has been given the clear bill of health which is exciting. Also, I asked him about the Jane and gift of God thing.

He knew. “Intuition” and all that. He also said I looked “like a royal dame” in my swimsuit. Smug idiot just trying to be charming.

I love him and that’s the only reason it works.

Back to the festivities.

July 27/21

Dear Jane,

Good morning to you and to James who’s still in my bed at a ripe 6:23AM, fast asleep.

Progress. Now, back to sleep.

July 27/21

Dear Jane,

It’s now 9:49AM and James greeted me with orange juice and waffles. He said I was cute when I slept. Creep.

He also said he tried so many times to stay in my bed after, before we were like we are now, but he never could, and now he’s upset that he missed out on my cute sleeping/waking up for the day face every time he did so.

He is exceptionally cute when he’s pouting.

I think we’re officially boyfriend-girlfriend, but we’ll work out the semantics on that later. For now, it’s another summer day together. He suggested Chinese takeout for dinner because I have to go dip back into the lab later today to check on some samples.

I agreed and he kissed me in promise like it was our “thing.” I can’t stop smiling like an idiot.

Massive progress.

July 28/21

Dear Jane,

He told me I was the only one for him.

Also, he kissed me in front of our friends for the first time. Natasha yelled “FINALLY” and pushed us into the pool. Sam laughed and then I grabbed him and threw him into the pool. Ensuing: a water fight for the ages.

For a day: 10/10

July 31/21

Hey Jane,

I think I’m happy.

I’m sorry I ever doubted the effects of writing down my feelings.

James has a romantic trip to uptown planned for our first date and he said it’ll take the whole day so I thought I’d get this entry in the morning. I dunno. It’s really early and the happy thought was the first thing that came to my head.

Weird, but it’s a good weird.

See you in a bit.

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i-need-entertainment · 3 years

Text

Chronostasis + “If the world was ending”

This is the 19th Oneshot for the Valentines Day Event, thank you so much to @purplefrost21 for requesting Chrono! I went ahead and picked a song, I hope this is okay! If you would like something different, feel free to message me!!

Starting now, I will also be splitting the writings into paragraphs, thank you to the anon who requested this, I appreciate it!

**Also, I wrote the hassaikai how I usually write it, slightly edited cause, ~plot reasons~ Overhaul will be not OOC, but a decent person and yeah**

Warnings- Pregnancy, allusions to iNtiMaCy but obviously no actual smut cause I don’t write it, eensy teensy amount of suggestiveness i gUess??? Not really?? idk but i’ll put it here anyway

Character: Chronostasis x reader

It’s been one year since you and Chrono had decided to call it quits. It’s also been one year since you decided to leave the hassaikai. You had known Chrono since you were 18, you had been down on your luck and had no where to go. That is until Pops found you and brought you in. You were quick to make friends with Chrono, matching his teasing and laid back personality nicely with your own. Four years later and you and Chrono’s friendship had developed into a different type of relationship.

You often spent your nights together, sneaking around and keeping your relationship under wraps. You loved Chrono, in every sense of the word. You had given him your everything and he had given you his. You both were deeply and madly in love with each other, and you both could honestly see yourselves with each other for the rest of your lives.

At least, that was the plan...”I think we need to break up.” You remember how the sound of your heart cracking echoed in your ears, your chest felt like 2 tons had been dropped onto your lungs, and time slowed to a pitiful stop. “...what?” He sighed as he took your hands into his, head hung low as he neglected to look you in the eye. “...The hassaikai isn’t what it used to be, it’s not safe for us to have a relationship anymore...I’m sorry Y/n, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore, any pursuit of a relationship would only be a distraction, it’s best if we...don’t see each other any more.” You hastily brought your sleeve to your eye to wipe the tears that had started to fall, trying to keep a smile on your face as you nodded.

“...okay..” Chrono’s eyes widened, “Are you su-” “Yes.” You patted his knee as you stood, walking to the door of his room, giving him one last ‘smile’, “Good bye Hari.” You left his room, walking to your own and closing your door with a sigh. You sat down on your bed, hands grasping your knees as your sobs broke through, wet tears sliding down your face and onto the jeans you wore. You sat there, painful realization after realization came crashing down on you. ‘we’re done’..’he broke up with me’...’I-I have to do this alone’....’I can’t stay here.’

You hiccuped as your eyes widened, you stood and moved to kneel beside your bed, dragging your old suitcase out from under your bed. You packed as much as you could into it- not like you had much, before you rolled it to sit beside your door. You walked out and headed towards Overhaul’s office. You knocked on the door and entered when you heard a ‘come in’. You walked in and stood in front of his desk. “L/n..what can I do for you?” He leaned his chin on his fist as his elbow sat his his desk, his gold eyes looking as bored as they usually do.

“I’m sorry for the short notice, but i’m going to have to leave the compound for awhile..” His eyebrows raised as he sat up straight. “..Are you wanting to leave the Hassaikai?” You shook your head, “No, but, I’m going to need some time away...I’m pregnant.” He slowly nodded, “Maternity leave?” You nodded as you kept your gaze towards the floor, “Very well, I’ll give you an assignment further away, one that’ll keep you out of the field.” You nodded, saying a quiet ‘thank you’ as he wrote down the information/permissions you’d need.

You turned to leave, but before you could he spoke. “...does he know..?” You shook your head, “...no...but..I...I think it’s better if he doesn’t..not yet anyway...” He hummed as he sighed, “Well, if that’s what you think is best, you’re dismissed.” You nodded as you opened the door and left, walking to your room to get your suitcase before you left.

It’s been a year since you last saw Chrono. You had tried to let him go, to forget and leave him in the past. But that was a lot harder than you had originally anticipated. Because you still loved him. You would have thought that after a year of not having seen him after he broke up with you, you’d be able to leave him in the past. But you couldn’t. Cries took you out of your critical thinking. You shook yourself out of it before walking over to your little boy, Hayato. He was only 3 months, so he was still little...and quite the crier..But no matter how many sleepless nights or mini breakdowns you might have trying to get him to sleep, your entire heart belonged to your son, your little Hayato.

You came in and softly spoke to your crying baby, softly picking him up and holding him by his bottom, softly cradling his head where it laid on your shoulder. You slowly swayed side to side as you held him, softly humming as you did this. His cries subsided, soft little *cute* hiccups escaping his small body as you rubbed his back. Sometimes nothing was wrong, he just needed to be held, comforted...you knew the feeling. You cuddled him for a little longer before you felt him calm down, and seeing as it was 10 past midnight, you set him down in his crib, making sure his stuffed elephant was close by.

Giving his forehead one last kiss you walked out of his room, cracking the door and going to the kitchen to finish making the tea you were going to drink. Blowing on the hot cup you sat down on the couch, turning so you could look out the tall windows that were almost floor to ceiling. You only had a few lights on so the view of the city at night was clear. You sighed as you brought the tea cup to your mouth, taking a slow sip while your feet came up onto the couch with you. You sat there in the silence, the buzzing of various electronics in the background and the occasional sound of your sips the only noise filling the room. You smiled as you took a peak at the baby monitor you kept on the small end table, your little baby snuggling the small animal your boss, a good friend of Pops, gifted your son when he was born.

All things considered, you were doing quite well for yourself. You had a high paying job as an assistant for a, despite being a hassaikai leader, kind boss who gave you a few months off to care for your child. You were able to live off compound in a good school district in a nice safe area. You were set on giving your baby the best life you could, the life you never got to have. *Knock knock* You slowly set the cup down on the table, moving the baby monitor into a drawer (you always made sure to hide it when ever business partners or anyone work related came, your sons safety was your utmost priority). You walked to the door and took a look through the peep hole, when you did your heart sped up, heart sinking to your gut. Because the man on the other side of the door was someone you didn’t expect to see for a long, long time.

**2 hours ago in the Shie Hassaikai base**

Chrono groaned as he sat down in the couch in Overhaul’s office, mask sitting beside him on the couch as he leaned his head back to rest against the back of the couch. “You look dead.” Chrono scoffed as his hand came to rub at his eyes. “Gee thanks, I really needed to hear that. I almost forgot my life sucked- thanks for the reminder.” Overhaul shrugged, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes. “...When was the last time you saw her?”

Chrono sighed, “....when she left the hassaikai...I haven’t heard from her since..I screwed up bad.” Overhaul now sighed as he reopened his eyes, turning his gaze to Chrono. “I’d say...” Chrono shot a glare towards his friend, Overhaul simply shrugging. “....she asked me not to tell you, but seeing as you’re miserable and I know you, i’m going to tell you anyways...” Chrono raised an eyebrow as Overhaul stood from his desk, leaning down to write something on a small piece of paper. He walked over to the couch, tossing the paper onto the couch beside his friend.

Chrono picked it up, eyes narrowing as it listed an apartment complex and a suite number. “..The heck is this?” Overhaul walked back to his desk and sat down. “Her address....I’d prepare myself if I were you, she’s not the only one you left behind.” Chrono narrowed his eyes at the man, “What do you-” “Tell me Kurono, why did you think she suddenly left, to do office work nonetheless, right after you broke up with her?” Chrono looked down, “I’m not sure....I figured she was mad, upset..figured she just didn’t want to see me anymore.” Overhaul hummed, “Well, that’s partly true, but no. She left because she wasn’t the only one she had to look after anymore.”

Chrono looked towards Overhaul, “...what are you saying?” Overhaul frowned (yes he’s still wearing a mask cHill) “..I’m saying there’s someone else in the picture now, your picture.” Like a flip being switched his eyes shot open. “...I got her pregnant..” “Bingo.” “...and I broke up with her..” “Yup.” “..I have a son i’ve never met..” “Or daughter.” Chrono glared at Overhaul, who was finding the situation unnervingly amusing. “We can keep bantering back and forth or you can go, I don’t care either way, but I do have work to do.”

Shakily sighing Chrono stood, walking to the door. Turning around he looked to his old friend, “...thank you.” Overhaul waved him off with a sigh, “Thank me when you finally get your life back together.” Grinning Chrono walked out of the office, paper in hand and heart filled with determination. He was going to make this right.

**Back to present time**

Undoing the chain and bolt you unlocked the door. “...Hari..?” Everything he had prepared to say flew out the window when he saw you. You looked different..not in a bad way, but he could tell you had matured. You had your hair pulled back and held loosely by a clip, you were wearing a loose t-shirt and some leggings. “..Y/n..” You both stared at each other, neither one believing that the other was actually there. Snapping yourself out of your daze you spoke, “Uhm, what are you doing here? Not that it’s not great to see you! I just- I didn’t expect you to be...here..”

He nodded, hands going into his pockets to hide how shaky they had become. “..I....I needed to talk to you...I need make things right.” You looked at him with a nervous expression, arms coming to cross in front of your chest, not in anger or frustration but to try to ground yourself. “I love you Y/n, and I don’t know what was going through my head when I broke up with you, but please believe me when I tell you it was the stupidest thing i’ve ever done. I never stopped loving you either, when I ended things it was because I thought it was the best thing to do at the time, I thought you deserved better...I didn’t think I could give you better...I’m so sorry. I was selfish and I hurt you and i’m so sorry.”

You started to tear up, one of your hands coming up to wipe the tears that escaped. Shaking your head you gave him a small smile. “I never hated you...I don’t think I can. And I definitely never stopped loving you...This past year has been harder than you know, well, you might, you don’t look too good.” Chrono just chuckled as he shook his head, you lightly laughing. “..Just promise you won’t do that again..? I don’t want to be alone, and I don’t want to do this alone anymore either.” He looked confused for a second. “Wait here...there’s someone who wants to meet you.”

His heart sped up as you walked back to your sons room, him walking into the small entryway and shutting/locking the door behind him. He wring his hands together, heart rate speeding up and his mind racing. He took a shaky breath in as you walked out of the room, but it caught in his throat when his dark eyes met identical ones. His gulped as he looked up to see you, silently asking for permission. Smiling you walked over to him, gently holding you- well, the two of you’s son out to him. He very carefully brought his son into his arms, holding him with his left as his right softly traced over his small features.

He almost broke when his son latched onto his finger, he smiled towards his son, shoulders shaking as he held back tears. “His name is Hayato.” He looked to you and smiled, before looking back down to his little baby. “Hi Hayato...it’s nice to meet you...sorry i’m a little late...daddy was busy being an idiot.” He playfully glared when you said ‘Yeah he was’ before softening his look when he returned his gaze to Hayato. “But i’m here now...and I’m never going away again..I promise you that.” He looked up to you, meeting your glassy e/c eyes with his own gray ones. “Both of you.”

After a good hour of holding his son you both put him to bed. Slowly cracking his door closed once again, you both moved to sit in the family room. But before he could sit you softly grabbed his arm. He turned around, stumbling when you threw yourself towards him, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you as close to him as he possibly could, head nuzzling into your shoulder. “...I was really scared you’d never come back...when you left, I knew I screwed up big time, but I thought you needed your space...but shoot, if I had known you were pregnant-” You shook your head, pulling away to look him in the eyes, hands coming to rest on his chest while his remained on your waist.

“No, that parts my fault, and don’t even refute it...I didn’t tell you because I thought it would hold you back...that I would hold you back..and I didn’t want to keep you in a relationship you wouldn’t be happy in...but he’s your son, I should have told you.” He leaned down to rest his forehead back on your shoulder. He sighed as he chuckled, “We both made some pretty dumb choices, let’s leave it at that.” You laughed, cradling his head and running your fingers, carefully, through his hair.

You were just enjoying the moment when he started to softly kiss your shoulder, before he stood to his normal height and kissed your lips. His hands moved down to your hips, yours around his neck when you pulled away. “Uh uh, I know where this is going- I just had a kid 3 months ago, the last thing I need is another one!” Shrugging he leaned down to kiss your cheek, you almost gave in to the moment, caught up in the sheer romance of the gesture before he leaned closer to your ear, “The more the merrier~” Him laughing when you squealed as he picked you up and slung you over his shoulder.

You started to slap his back in protest before he ‘gently’ set you down on your bed, him climbing to the side of you to pull you in close, holding you like at any moment he’d wake up, this having all been a cruel dream. But when you wrapped your arms around him and burrowed into his chest he knew, he wasn’t too late. And as he drifted off to sleep that night, with you finally back in his arms, he couldn’t help but think that maybe it was luck, or even fate, but whatever it was that brought you back together, Chrono knew he would always find his way back to you.

“If the world was ending You'd come over, right?”

#chronostasis #chrono #chronostasis x reader #hari kurono #hari kurono x reader #BNHA #bnha x reader #bnha fanfiction #bnha villains #shie hassaikai #Valentines Day Event 2021 #y/n

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echo-the-owl · 6 years

Note

vmin fluff ?(°▽°) university au bcos i liked the one u wrote :3 where taehyung keeps asking jimin out on a date but jimin keeps refusing (not in a rude way I can never see jimin like that but more like an ehhh I dunno) just bcos he lowkey thinks taehyungs a fuckboy but then one day he finally gives taehyung a chance? love u and ur writing btw ü

Jimin had figured that going to university in a different city, Seoul at that, he would avoid running into anyone he already knew. I mean, sure, a lot of people aimed for schools in Seoul, but not as many as you would think, and even less of them actually made it there. Yet, his first day on campus he ran into an all too familiar face. Kim Taehyung. Out of all the people that he knew, it had to be Kim fucking Taehyung.

To be fair, Taehyung wasn’t a total asshole. There are certainly worse people that could have followed him there. Still, he didn’t like Taehyung, didn’t want to see Taehyung, and hoped to god that Taehyung didn’t recognize him as well. Maybe, just maybe he’d be lucky, and they wouldn’t actually have to see each other much. They had passed each other near the campus entrance, and they’d probably never see each other again. It was a big school.

He got to his dorm room, started silently unpacking his belongings, and told himself to just forget he had even seen him. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t important. He didn’t care. Kim Taehyung could do whatever he wanted and it didn’t have to concern him. Just because of one stupid incident at the end of high school…

The door creaked slightly as it opened. Jimin turned to see who his roommate was and…

Well, really, should it be any surprise?

“Hey, I’m-” Taehyung stopped short as he recognized the student that was now glaring at him. “Oh, nice. Good to see you again.”

“I’m glad one of us thinks so,” Jimin scoffed.

“Huh? Did I… Did I do something?” he asked, more than a little confused.

“Nope, not at all. Sorry, just tired. I’m gonna go out for a bit. Bye.”

After spewing out his staccatoed response, Jimin did just that. He grabbed his phone and left. Taehyung was left alone in the room, bewildered. Obviously, he knew Jimin. They had attended high school together and it wasn’t exactly a secret that he thought the shorter man was cute. He had actually tried to ask him out once, and while he did somewhat expect the rejection, he hadn’t expected Jimin to be so harsh about it.

It kind of came out of nowhere. Taehyung’s friend had gotten tired of his staring and told him to just ask Jimin out already. Taehyung brought up the obvious reasons why he shouldn’t. (He might not be gay, he’s moving to Seoul in a couple months, etc.) His friend convinced him, Taehyung stopped Jimin after school and asked him out and Jimin…

He hadn’t even been especially rude about it. His words were kind enough. There was just something about his seething gaze, the sharp exhale, the clenched jaw that made it all absolutely cutting. Taehyung didn’t get it. He still didn’t. What had he done to make Jimin dislike him?

After sucking down some coffee and reflecting, Jimin decided to be civil. It wasn’t Taehyung’s fault that they were roommates and it would just make things miserable if they decided to antagonize one another while living together. Taehyung was rarely in the room anyways. They didn’t share any classes either, thankfully. Things were actually, surprisingly, fine.

A month had passed before they even actually spoke to each other beyond a passing ‘hello’. It was a weekend, and Taehyung was actually in the room for once, playing some game while lying on his bed. Jimin was working on a project, ignoring him entirely until he spoke up.

“Why do you hate me?” he murmured, watching Jimin flick boredly through some screens on his laptop.

“What makes you think I do?”

“Well… just… seems like it. I’ve been thinking about it and I can’t remember having done anything to you.”

“Right. I’m sure stuff like that passes your mind pretty easily, right? Too many faces to remember?”

“I- What?”

“Forget it.”

“No, seriously? What are you talking about? We’ve never done anything for me to forget. I asked you out and you said no.”

“Oh, so you do remember,” Jimin muttered, rolling his eyes. “Grand.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Well, you didn’t seem to remember Minji, and I figure it’s all the same, right?”

“Minji? Kang Minji? What about her?” Taehyung asked, sitting up. He was completely confused. What did Kang Minji have to do with any of this?

“Exactly,” Jimin sighed. “You sleep with someone and then they don’t matter to you anymore. You probably found out I was gay and thought it’d be fun, right?”

“Woah, hold on. You think I slept with her?”

“I don’t think. I know.”

“It’s really weird for you to know things that never happened,” Taehyung frowned. “I’m not into girls. I never have been. So I don’t know what you think you know, but unless she was hiding a dick in her skirt, I never slept with her.”

“Right. Sure. Except she told me you did. But sure. Whatever you wanna say.”

“I didn’t even know that you were gay when I asked you out, by the way. I just thought you were cute.”

“Okay.”

“You know what, if you’re not going to believe what I say anyways, I might as well let you know that I’ve only ever slept with one person before. A very male person. And I was dating them at the time. I don’t sleep around and I don’t think I ever even talked to Minji outside of class. I don’t know why she would have told you that, but we never did anything,” Taehyung huffed.

“Oh, I’m sure,” Jimin rolled his eyes, but… he was starting to feel a bit skeptical.

Honestly, he had been surprised when Taehyung asked him out. He even almost said yes, but then he remembered what Minji had told him a mere week before. He had admitted to her that he had a crush, and then she told him Taehyung had slept with her and started ignoring her since. Jimin thought it was a little odd back then, but why would Minji lie to him? They were best friends…

Taehyung left the room and after thinking about it some more, Jimin picked up his phone, messaging Minji and asking her about it. Was it a lie? If it were, would she even tell the truth about it this time?

You told me you slept with Taehyung, he sent. It wasn’t really a question.

Yeah, so what? was her reply, only a minute later.

You didn’t, did you?

What does it matter? It convinced you to say no when he finally asked you out.

Excuse me? You knew he was going to?

Listen, I was just saving you from the heartbreak of having to leave him in a couple months anyways. You were going to Seoul and he had no plans to.

“I’m sorry,” Jimin muttered as soon as Taehyung came back at nearly midnight. He had been sitting, curled up on his bed watching the minutes tick by as he waited.

“You’re… for what?”

“She lied to me,” Jimin sighed, hiding his face in his knees. He honestly felt like crying. He had since he had gotten those messages.

“Minji?”

“She’s my best friend, so of course I believed her! I still don’t get why she would…”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Taehyung murmured, sitting down next to Jimin.

“Yeah, I do. I told her I liked you and she told me that and I- God, I’m such a dick.”

“You liked me?” Taehyung asked, surprised.

“She knew you were going to ask me out.”

“You liked me?”

“God, I’m so stupid…”

“You liked me?” Taehyung said again, and Jimin finally looked up at him, confused. Taehyung was gawking at him, looking absolutely stunned.

“Yeah, that’s what I said.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I- Is that all you heard? I’m trying to apologize!” he whined.

“You liked me…” Taehyung’s shock faded into a cheerful smile as he wrapped his arms around the smaller male.

“Wha- Hey! What are you doing?”

“Sorry. I’m just really happy cuz you liked me.”

I’m sorry. I don’t know what this is 😅 I don’t think this is really what you requested at all, is it? I tried. I’m sorry…

Send me a prompt?

#bts #vmin #taehyung #jimin #bts v #promptme #im kind of amused by the fact that all of the requests ive gotten are either yoonkook or vmin #two ships that are truly starved for content it seems #or maybe just no one ships the other ships i offered #that could be it too haha #just gonna note that i have like 6 requests right now #and ive been trying to do like 2 a day #so yeah #be patient with me #im trying my bestest

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hauntedtaylors · 3 years

Text

evermore “sister songs” predictions

alright evermore, midnight.

taylor referred to this album as a “sister album” with folklore. i saw someone on twitter suggest that maybe that means the corresponding track numbers between folklore and evermore are connected.

so basically here are my connection predictions after seeing nothing more than the titles off evermore

ALSO I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT ILLICIT AFFAIRS SO THE ORDER IS COMPLETLY MESSED UP LMFAO WHOOPS ITS OKAY ITS OKAY I TRIED

track 1: the 1 x willow

- okay i’m literally writing this one last like i’ve already written all the other connections because i can’t really think of anything for this lmao

- i suspect that the theme of willow is gonna be like specifically like a willow tree ??

- idk i mean i’ve always interpreted the 1 as being from specifically taylor’s perspective so my only guess is that it’s like a reference to taylor’s personal life that we’re not expected to figure out lol

- i’m sorry this was a terrible start lmfao i swear they get better

- you can tell which ones i wrote first lol

track 2: cardigan x champagne problems

- okay i wrote the track 8 stuff first so most of what i’m gonna say is based off that

- so i think tracks 2/8/13 are gonna all gonna have the same theme, either that it’s like another side of the james/betty/august story or it’s a whole different story with different characters but like similar themes

- based on the name champagne problems, i think this song could be more like the august in the sense that it’s like telling the story of the cheating

- i think this time though it would be from the perspective of the cheater (the james), rather than the august, based on the use of the word “problems”, which i feel like reflects how james knew being with august was a mistake but everything just went by so quickly that they (james) couldn’t stop themselves and this song is almost like a reflection / reliving the mistakes

track 3: the last great american dynasty x gold rush

- okay i literally don’t know anything about rebekah harkness nor the gold rush but like the names give off the same vibes yk

- like idk what the gold rush was but it sounds like an american history thing and like rebekah harkness was a person in history yk and didn’t she like lose her money or something and like,,, like gold is money,,

- i def don’t know enough about the two subjects to be making points lmao but they just give me similar vibes and tlgad is one my favs off folklore so i’m excited for this

track 4: exile x ‘tis the damn season

- “i think i’ve seen this film before and i didn’t like the ending”

- that’s me with like 90% of the holiday movies i watch (& ‘tis the damn season is literally my holiday catchphrase)

- so like in conclusion track 4 is for people that love the holidays but just can’t get on board with like holiday movies and music and like annoying family members yk

track 5: my tears ricochet x tolerate it

- taylor described in the long pond studio sessions that this song is like the story of someone who knows you so well that when they suddenly turn on you, they know exactly where to punch you so it hurts

- i think tolerate it could be like the story of a toxic relationship (platonic, romantic, etc) and how you know it’s not healthy but you’re too scared to be without this person that’s been in your life for so long that you just tolerate their terrible actions because you feel like you can’t leave

track 6: mirrorball x no body, no crime

- i’ll be honest, my first thought when i saw “no body, no crime” was “oh shit we’re back to vehicular manslaughter taylor” and now i can’t really move past that idea lmao

- anyway so in the long pond studio sessions, taylor discussed her story behind mirrorball and how it’s like she feels like she has to come out and perform and be this shining light for everybody and how she never stops performing until the last person is gone

- so like my interpretation is like it’s telling the story how of one day she just couldn’t keep performing and she like snapped or something and like i’m not saying necessarily that like ms swizzle pulled a classic bachelor(ette) movie trope and murdered someone and like hid the body but it’s like she snapped but she had to force herself to keep going and pretend like it never happened and continue to be that shining mirrorball for everybody

track 7: seven x happiness

- tw abuse

- okay i forget if there was like an actual confirmation of what seven is about but i very much interpret it as like young best friends who care for each other very much and one of them is living in an abusive household but they’re still somewhat protected by the bliss of ignorance to the terrible things and people in the world and they always dream about running away together and living out the dream life together that they imagine the world, beyond their home, to be

- so like happiness would kinda be a part 2 to seven where like they’re imagining themselves living out that dream life and they’re telling that story to distract themselves from the horrors that they’re facing at home in that moment

- i kinda imagine it like if it were a movie, the entire thing would be them living in pure bliss and peace together, not having to worry the world around them but then at the very end there’s like a cut and you see them crammed in a small space, hiding from the worst

track 8: august x dorothea

- idk who dorothea is lol i haven’t seen anyone say that the name is significant yet so i’m just gonna assume it’s a random name

- because it’s paired with august i think it could potentially be like another side to the same story (betty, james, august)

- or it’s like similar to cardigan/august/betty in the sense that it’s another story told from the perspectives of 3 different people and dorothea is like this story’s august (or maybe james/betty based on what i said for track 2)

track 9: this is me trying x coney island

- this is me trying not to puke on the rollercoaster

- this is me trying to stuff my fourth corndog down

- this is me trying to get that damn ring on the bottle to win that giant pink monkey

- this is me trying not to cry that coney island is still closed cause y’all can’t stay home while ms swift over here is literally staying in a cottage in the woods

- this is me trying to pretend i’ve been to coney island and i know what it is

- this is me trying to come up with a connection between the two songs which sound like they have nothing in common based off the names

- WAIT

- NO I GOT SOMETHING

- okay nvm i wrote this whole thing about this super detailed metaphor before remembering english is my worst class and it made no sense lol

- in conclusion this is me trying (and failing)

track 10: invisible string x ivy

- okay so ivy could be like the literal plant or like a name

- it obviously makes more sense for it to be a person, like she said invisible string was written after sending a baby gift to an ex or something

- idk how these are like related lol but maybe the ivy’s like a metaphor for something else in the invisible string story

track 11: mad woman x cowboy like me

- well they both have similar titles in the sense that they refer to a person or like a specific type of person

- are we getting a mad woman/cowboy love story

- it’s a love story, cowboy, just say yes

track 12: epiphany x long story short

- okay when i think of epiphanies and like the word epiphany, i think of like this long drawn out story or issue and then it’s like woah lightbulb

- i just think the titles alone have similar themes, they may not be related at all but i think they have potential to be

- like long story short could be like the telling of the epiphany yk?

track 13: betty x marjorie

- this is my third time describing this so yea in conclusion i think this is a betty/james/august situation

- i saw someone on twitter say that marjorie is the name of taylor’s grandmother or something ?? i might have made that up idk lol but maybe that’s like where the significance of the names come from this time

track 14: peace x closure

- the name’s of these songs give off such similar vibes

- they may not necessarily be like a part 1/part 2 type like the some of the other songs but i think they’ll be telling similar stories

- since peace was about taylor not being able to give the people in her life peace, this could be like a similar story like maybe it’s how she can never give closure to her former relationships because of the paps/press/media etc always prying in her personal life and like trying to determine which exes her songs are about etc so her exes never truly get closure or the opportunity to move on because the public never lets them forget

- kinda like when mr all too well posted that photo on instagram earlier this year and the comments were flooded with swifties lmfao like idk maybe they’ve like both moved on from that breakup etc (idfk it’s not my place to speculate) and everyone’s just like continuously reminding them of their past (this was just an example of like the themes of the song, i’m not tryna speculate about anything)

track 15: hoax x evermore

- i suddenly cannot remember any of the themes from hoax lmao im sorry

- all i remember from lpss is taylor talking about how she likes the word hoax

- evermore is such a cool word as well like maybe the theme is cool words

- i also think evermore is such a cool name for the album closer, i literally love her album closers so much bye

- change rights !!

track 16/17: the lakes x right where you left me x it’s time to go

- maybe she was left at the lakes

- and it’s like time to leave the lakes

- like it’s time to stop living that cottagecore fantasy and get back to work

- no im kidding pls take a break ms swift u work so damn hard ily

- and i think ur the only person that can combine work and cottagecore and make it so damn beautiful

the way i put a million times the effort into this as i’ve ever put into an english assignment damn

anyway i’m very excited

i’m extremely sleep deprived but excited

@taylorswift @taylornation

#taylor swift #evermore #taylor nation #folklore

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mirkwoodshewolf · 7 years

Text

Daddy keeps away bad things; Bucky Barnes x reader x oc child reader

This came from one of my fav. blogs here on tumblr @bucky-plums-barnes she runs theme days and one on of the prompts that she was sent in by an anon it just struck me and I had to write it out. I had gotten their full permission and in about an hr. of writing this was born. The idea for the prompt goes to the anon and I DO have that prompt saved underneath my likes so if you want to see the full prompt, go under my likes link and scroll through it till you find it, you won’t be able to miss it. Also @bucky-plums-barnes I also kinda remembered as I was writing the last part of the story on how I ended it like you did to one of your daddy drabbles I hope that’s okay, it just felt so right to write it as I did and I just realized now it’s like how you wrote one of your daddy drabbles, if it’s not tell me and I’ll find someway to change it.

Translations come from Google, if they are wrong PLEASE let me know.

WARNING: BUCKY FEELS!! FLUFFINESS!!! Slight smut around the middle, Sam-Bucky rivalry, DADDY!BUCKY, above anything else just major major MAJOR feels and teeth-rotting fluff.

Taglist:

@evyiione

_________________________________________________________

I walked through the door after yet another long mission, I swear if I have to write another mission report, I’m just gonna scream. But as I walked in and began to just throw my shoes into our shoe bucket, my ears caught the sound of the most precious thing in the world. As I walked closer I soon found a very familiar sight.

My daughter Grace and Sam together in the middle of the living room. Sam had a frilly pink boa wrapped around his neck and a fake diamond tiara sitting at the top of his head. In his hand he held one of my daughter’s teacups sipping fake tea.

“More tea Lady Nesbit?” Grace asked.

“Why yes I would absolutely love another spot of tea Princess Grace” Sam spoke in an awful British accent.

“Oh I do hope I’m not intruding on Lady Nesbit’s and Princess Grace’s tea party again”. Grace and Sam turned around and Grace called out.

“Mommy!” She ran up to me and I picked her up and kissed all over her face.

Bucky and I had known each other for….oh god a long time, we actually met through Sam surprisingly. I had been friends with Sam since childhood, we even were stationed together in the same para-rescue unit. I helped Sam with the Hydra intrusion into SHIELD back in DC and ever since then the two of us became honorary Avengers, my name was known as “Lady Eagle”.

Anyway fast forward a few years later, Sam introduced me to Bucky Barnes and suddenly a spark happened between us. We were friends for about a year and a half before I asked him out and then after going out for coffee, he kissed me and ever since then things changed between us. We married a year later and now four years later, we now have our little bundle of joy, Grace Rebecca Barnes.

Ever since day one, Grace had all the Avengers wrapped around her little finger but the one she seemed to favor most was her Uncle Sam. She always wanted to be near him or to go visit him, even if the two of us went shopping while Bucky was away, she’d always want to come with us. They did everything together, the watch movies together, the play together, go to the park together, do tea parties (which I catch them more times than Sam cares to admit but I have video and photographic evidence that says otherwise).

Yeah our little Grace was definitely a Falcon fan, I turned to Sam and told him.

“Thanks again for watching her on such short notice Sam”.

“Yeah anything for my favorite godchild and partner in crime” Sam boasted as he ruffled Grace’s hair.

“Must you weally go Uwcle Sam?” Grace asked with that cute little pout of hers that could stop an entire army of soldiers.

“Sadly I do kiddo, because now your mommy and daddy are back. But I promise our ice cream date for this Saturday is still up, think you can wait till then?” At the mention of ice cream Grace perked up and nodded enthusiastically. “Atta girl”.

“So how much is it this time Birdbrain?” Bucky soon asked as he came shortly after me since he had to stay behind back at Headquarters to deliver our mission report.

“Hey I never put a price tag on family, this one’s on me especially at short notice. But if you’d allow me to beat you in the next training session we have, I’ll take that as your payment”.

“In your dreams. So chill out Icarus before you fly into a window”.

“Alright boys, child present no fighting please”. I stepped in before these guys’ testosterone would allow them to literally rumble here in the living room. After Sam left, Bucky and I got ourselves situated and ready for bed since it was pretty dark out.

I tucked Grace in and kissed her goodnight and when I got back to my bedroom I saw Bucky laying against the headrest of the bed with his sulking face on. I sighed and walked up to him and stroked his scruffy looking face and said.

“What’s going through your mind my love?”

“Does Grace even love me?” I looked at him shocked and said to him.

“Of course she does why would you even doubt a thing like that?”

“She always wants to spend her time with Sam, never with me. I try to do some of the stuff she does with Sam but she either runs the other way or asks me if Sam will be joining us” Bucky sighed heavily then finished, “Maybe I wasn’t meant to be a father if my own daughter hates me”. I looked at him heartbroken.

I knew that with Grace always wanting to be with Sam, I had noticed that Bucky was always so broken-hearted at the fact that Grace never seemed to want to be with her father. I sat beside him and turned his face towards me as I spoke in my soft but demanding mother voice.

“James Buchanan Barnes, I never want to hear you say that statement again. You deserve to be one after everything Hydra had done to you, I wouldn’t want to have a child with no one else but you. Never deny that Grace loves you”.

“Then why doesn’t she want to spend time with me!?” Bucky snapped.

“I’ll talk to her about it tomorrow morning, but never forget this my love. Sam is her uncle, you’re her father. And a girl will always need her father in some way or form, maybe she hasn’t needed you for that reason yet”. I leaned in and kissed him before snuggling into his strong, broad chest and fell right asleep feeling Bucky wrap his arms around me.

Saturday came by fast and after coming back from their ice cream date that afternoon, Grace had ran in and took hold of my pants repeatedly begging me if it was alright for her to spend the night at Uncle Sam’s. I turned to Bucky and as usual his eyes were filled with sorrow and I looked down at Grace and said.

“Umm Grace, sweetheart do you remember what you and I talked about yesterday? Why don’t we give Uncle Sam a break and stay at home and watch Disney movies? Get your daddy all caught up with this centuries movies”.

“But I want to sweep over with Uwcle Sam, please mommy please!” With the puppy dog eyes she inherited from her father I almost couldn’t say no. I turned to Sam and looked at him with a ‘would you mind?’ look.

“I don’t mind, besides you and Father Russia haven’t had a night out in a while. I can host a sleepover”. Grace cheered then she ran past her father and raced to her room then I heard her call out to me to help her pack her sleepover bag. I turned to Bucky and touched his shoulder assuringly and pecked his cheek as I left to go help Grace pack her bag.

Once she was packed, I helped her into her car seat and Sam soon drove off back to his place and as I watched them drive off, I saw Bucky just standing on the porch with such longing and brokenness in his eyes. I walked up to him and said.

“She’ll come around, we’ll let her spend the night tonight then we’ll all do something as a family. But now, we have the entire night to ourselves after last year’s sleepover with Sam, so…..” Bucky’s attention soon directed towards me as he smirked at me and he said as he picked me up bridal style.

“I think it’s time we made baby #2”. I giggled then Bucky took me up to our room and tossed me right onto the bed. I giggled profusely as Bucky crawled up over me and he said, “You know I ain’t gonna stop until I’m sure you have a baby in there”.

“I’m counting on that soldier”. Bucky smirked then he leaned down and we kissed passionately before I felt him move down my neck, I knew then we were just getting started.

It was now around midnight, after god knows how many times we did it I lost count after 7. Bucky and I were completely exhausted, well mainly me Buck could’ve gone on all night had I let him but I was too damn tired to continue on. It was then my phone rang and I groaned which caused Bucky to wake up.

“Tell them you’re busy”. Bucky said as he began to kiss my neck.

“No Buck I already said I’m done,” I reached for my phone and saw Sam’s picture across the screen. I slide the answer button and yawned out, “Yeah Sam?” As Bucky continued to kiss any available part of my body I could hear Sam’s voice screaming at me in panic. “Wait, wait, wait Sam I can’t understand you, slow down. Breathe. Now in English tell me what is it?” Bucky stopped as soon as he could hear Sam scream from my phone. “Okay, okay I’ll tell him, I swear he’ll be right there I can promise you that. Okay Sam, bye”. I hung up but before I could talk to Bucky I saw him getting dressed and he left the room with such haste. “I told you Buck, she’ll call you when she needs you, and she most certainly needs you more than anyone else”.

*Bucky’s POV*

I had heard over (y/n)’s phone that sometime was wrong with Grace. I didn’t know what it was but the minute I heard Grace was in trouble, I immediately sprung out of bed, got dressed and raced down the stairs and outside. I didn’t even have time to start the car up so I ran the 9 blocks to Sam’s place.

I arrived at Sam’s and literally bust the door off its hinges. Suddenly I felt a small force embrace my legs and when I looked down, I saw my little girl weeping. Tears were running down her round face and she looked like a frightened little kitten. She looked up at me with eyes just begging me to hold her and I didn’t hesitate for a second. I held her close and soon saw Sam coming down the stairs.

“What happened!” I demanded softly so that I wouldn’t scare my Grace any more than she already was.

“I don’t know, she went to bed just fine and the next thing I hear she’s crying her eyes out calling for you. I’m gonna assume she had a nightmare, is there anything you want me to do?”

“No Sam, I’ll take it from here,” as I started walking I paused and told him, “And sorry about the door” before he could snap at me I was already leaving the hallway and soon found the living room and sat down on the couch with Grace still clinging onto me.

I proceeded to rock her gently as I rubbed my thumb against her back as I whispered softly to her in Romanian before singing to her a Romanian lullaby I once heard a mother sing to her child at the park while I was in hiding. I continued to rock her gently and sing to her in her ear while hearing her sobs softly ceasing.

After a while she finally stopped crying and whimpered out in her sweet voice.

“Tati?” (Daddy?)

“Da ingerul meu?” (Yes my angel)

“Can you stay the night? Pwease?” I was shocked. At first I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, did Grace really want me to stay with her and not Sam?

“Are you sure sweetheart?”

“Da, all I want is you papa” she stated as she looked up at me with teary eyes.

“But I—I thought that you would want Uncle Sam and Uncle Sam alone”. Grace shakes her head and replies with the most heart-warming answer I had ever heard from her as she clings onto my chest.

“Daddy makes the bad guys go away. Daddy always protects me. I don’t want Daddy to leave”.

It took every ounce of will power in me to not let tears come falling down my face, I’d knew Sam would never let that down but it was mostly because of Grace’s words. (Y/n) was right, I was needed in Grace’s life, and that was to protect her from the bad dreams, and I knew that was something I was willing to do because I know what she’s gone through. Even though I’ve rarely had a nightmare before meeting (y/n) and having Grace, I knew the horrors that still comes with having nightmares, especially when some of them are so real.

I held Grace close to me and rocked her again as I rubbed her back with my human hand and stroked her long brown hair she inherited from me with my metal hand and said to her.

“I swear to you Grace, I will always be here to protect you. No matter what it is, I will always be here for you because you are the light of my life, my precious angel, and I love you more than life itself. Even more than your mother, but let’s keep that between us okay?” Grace let out her beautiful giggle she got from her mother which made me smile even wider as I held her at arm’s length and stroked away her tears to see my happy girl coming back. “There’s my happy girl, let’s get you back to bed”.

I stood up holding Grace against my chest as I continued to rub her back with my thumb and carried her back up the stairs into the guestroom Sam and (y/n) had made for her.

I set Grace down back on the bed and tucked her in before coming around the other side of her and lying right next to her and brought her close to me.

“Now close your eyes and go to sleep”.

“What if the bad men come back though?” she asked me as I noticed the fear in her eyes coming back.

“Well right now I know one sure fire way to make sure they don’t, you wanna know?” Grace nodded furiously then I smirked at her and began to tickle her. Her sweet musical laugh filled the entire room as she squirmed and tried to get away from me but she never did.

“Dahahahddy! Stop ihihihihit!”

“Uh-uh not until I know the bad guys aren’t gonna hurt my little girl again, you can never be too sure about those vicious villains”.

“Daddy! There’s gohahahahe now!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes hehehehe….”

“Are absolutely, positively 100% with sprinkles and a cherry on…..”

“Daddy!!”

“Okay”. I ceased my tickling allowing Grace to catch her breathe. After she calmed down, I stroked the hair out of her eyes and said to her, “If they do come back, just wake me up and I’ll be sure they stay away because…..” I urged her to finish up and she stated.

“Because you’re with me till the end of the line”.

“Good girl”. I chuckled as Grace crawled up towards me and I held her close to me, making sure to place her head over my heart to let her know that I was here. Soon I could hear her soft breathing a sure sign that she was now asleep. I kissed her head gingerly and lay there watching my little girl sleep in my arms clinging onto me as she slept the night away.

#bucky barnes x child reader #bucky barnes oneshot #daddy buck barnes #bucky barnes fluff #father-daughter relationship #bucky-plums-barnes #anon prompt #daddy wednesday

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jaxssecretroom · 7 years

Text

Insomnia pt.2

Type: Angst, Fluff, (maybe some light smut in the future)

Pairing: Chanyeol X reader, Xiumin X reader (might change as the story goes on?)

TW:Mentions of rape

College!au

Word count: 1,8k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

You stood in front of your bathroom mirror desperately trying to make your ponytail look halfway decent. You didn’t mind your work outfit that much, but the fact that you had to wear your hair in a tight ponytail with a hat that looked like it belonged on a doll and not a grown person kinda bothered you.

You put on the short-sleeved white button up shirt, the olive green skirt that was almost too short, and finally the black apron. Not really something you enjoyed wearing in the cold autumn weather. You grabbed the raincoat from the hook next to the door in one hand, and your umbrella in the other and headed out.

You went in through the back entrance, as always.

“Hey Y/N, your here early” Earl, the main cook and your boss, greeted you with his crooked smile. He was a good boss. He cared for all of his employees and insisted on only hiring college students like yourself. This would sometimes bring in creeps who were much older than the employees but still thought, for whatever reason, they might “get some”. And these men would always be there during your shifts since you mostly worked nights.

“Just being a diligent worker” you smiled back. “So, what do you think? Will it be a busy night?” You struggled to put that damn hat on.

“Nope. But you do have customers in booth 5.” Nicki, the day waitress who was just getting of her shift answered. You finally got the hat to stay on.

“Just fix your name tag sweetie” You looked down at your name tag and realized it was upside down. “Oh, thanks Nicki” you fumbled with it until it was in place.

“Bye boss, bye Y/N” she said as she made here way out the back, you and Earl waving goodbye.

You made sure once again your uniform was on properly and made your way out of the kitchen. Nicki was right, it didn’t look like it was gonna be a busy night. The diner was mostly empty except two girls studying in booth 1, which was on the right-hand corner, and a group of guys in booth 5, in the left-hand corner. Since you could see the girls were already served you walked over to the other group. You were amused when you saw that one of the guys was Minseok.

“So, you’re stalking me now?” Minseok looked up and seemed to be genuinely surprised by your presence.

“No, actually we live across the street. If anything, you’re the one stalking me.” He smiled and leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms. The other two guys were obviously confused by the interaction.

“Guys, this is the girl whose room we broke into last night, Y/N.” He gestured towards you and the other men just sat there, frozen, not knowing what to say. You could see the guilt in their eyes.

“So these are your partners in crime huh?” you shot them each a smile and they seemed to relax. They were both handsome, and even tho one of them was wearing a sweater and the other a hoodie you could just tell they were well built.

“Yeah, this is Yixing” he gestured towards the taller of the two with a cute dimple in his smile. “ and Joonmyeon, the mastermind behind the plan” he gestured towards the one who was wearing the sweater. You could see Joonmyeon shoot Minseok a ‘wtf man’ look and you laughed. This whole situation was so bizarre.

“Look we are really sorry, we had no idea-” Joonmyeon started.

“No, it’s okay, really. Minseok explained everything.” You reassured them. “So what can I get you?” you asked tapping your little pad with your pen.

“What do you recommend?” Yixing asked smiling at you.

“Well, Dimples, since you asked…” you heard Minseok let out a laugh. “My personal favorite is the peanut butter chicken” you said, pointing at the menu with your pen. None of them really seemed impressed by your suggestion.

“Why are you asking for recommendations? I thought you lived across the street, this can’t be your first time eating here.”

“Hey, don’t I didn’t lie” Minseok immediately defended himself.

“Actually it is my first time eating here. I don’t know about them.” Yixing explained. You nodded and wrote down their orders. Joonmyeon ordered the spicy wings, Yixing the hamburger, and Minseok the special of the day.

As they were leaving that night they left you with a pretty generous tip and about a million apologies. After that time they came to the diner a lot more often, and mostly during your shift. They always sat in the same booth, and always ordered the same things: the spicy wings, a hamburger and the daily special. And every time you’d tease them about their failed break-in attempt. But that was it, you couldn’t really call them friends since you never hung out with them. They were just regulars at the diner.

Then the night that ‘it’ happened.

They came in as usual, but this time the diner was much busier. All the tables, but one, were taken. Since you worked alone serving the people at the tables you didn’t really have time joke around with the guys that time. You didn’t even take their order since you knew exactly what they would get. As you were bringing them their food you stopped to give a man, who had come alone, his order, a black coffee.

You put the coffee and the receipt on his table, and smiled like you always did at customers. As you were leaving you felt someone grab your ass. It was unexpected. You quickly turned around and the man winked at you. He winked at you. You felt disgusted and angry but you didn’t know how to react.

So you just turned around and headed towards the guys’ table. Minseok had seen what happened and he was coming your way. You had never seen him angry, but you had a feeling that this was as angry as he gets. His fist was clenched, teeth gritting. You realized what his intention was and blocked his path.

“Don’t.” You said quietly, hoping nobody else could hear you. He looked you in the eyes and his expression softened. You felt your stomach turn. Was he really willing to hurt somebody for touching your ass without permission?

“Anybody would do that Y/N. Don’t think too much of it.” You thought to yourself.

You walked back to his table together.

“You should have let beat the living crap out of him” he said as you placed the bowl of spaghetti in front of him.

“What happened?” Yixing and Joonmyeon asked simultaneously.

“Nothing. Forget about it Minseok.” you walked away before he could protest.

It wasn’t long before the diner started emptying out. You would catch the man staring at you a couple of times. He didn’t look like a creep. He looked like the average man who was in his late 20s. You would also occasionally catch Minseok staring at you, and his anger didn’t seem to be growing weaker. But eventually the guys finished eating and were about to leave. You said goodbye to Yixing and Joonmyeon, but had to practically kick Minseok out. He didn’t want to leave and insisted on walking you home after work. But you still had 4 hours in your shift and you didn’t want to make him wait.

The first two hours went by fast. Earl asked if you could lock up tonight because he had to go home early. You did really mind doing this, so you agreed and he gave you his spare key. You looked at the time and it was half past midnight. Just an hour and a half until closing time. But the man, he was still there. Still sipping on his coffee. You had refilled his cup 4 times already. He had been sitting there for almost 4 hours and he was making you nervous. You could feel him staring at you. That’s why you felt so relieved when he left 30 minutes to closing time. He just took his coat, left a 20$ bill on the table and left.

By the time it was time to lock up the diner had long been empty. You cleaned the floor and made sure all the tables were wiped. You said goodbye to the other workers and locked the main entrance after them. You headed out the back and locked the door after yourself.

As you were putting the key in your purse you thought you heard someone breathing heavily. This made you nervous, because the dark alley was already creepy enough.

Someone grabbed you, pushing you roughly against the wall. Your breath hitched when youn saw it was the man from the diner. He was stalking you, like a lion would a prey. He was waiting for you so he could do this.

‘‘You-’‘ he put his hand over your mouth so you couldn’t scream. You knew exactly what his intentions were, but you didn’t want to believe it. His hands felt rough against your soft lips. And the fear kicked in, paired with anger both at your attacker and yourself. Why didn’t you just let Minseok walk you home? Why didn’t you ask one of your coworkers to wait for you? Why did you agree to lock up? This was your fault for not noticing that the guy was obviously dangerous.

“Just don’t fight it and don’t scream” he whispered in your ear and the small hairs on the back of your neck stood up. You felt a warm tear stream down your face. You pushed him with all your strength. He stumbled back for a moment but before you knew it his hands were around your neck. You felt a shriek leave your throat and hoped it was loud enough for someone to hear. Anyone. He was much stronger than he seemed and you quickly felt your mind going blank and vision going black.

Like a prayer answered you found yourself gasping for air as his hands disappeared from your neck. You weren’t quite sure what was happening but you found yourself on the ground with a sharp pain in your temple. You tried desperately to see what was going on but your vision was blurry and your head was pounding.

“Hey, miss are you okay?!”

“Y/N!!”

A/N: I didn’t proof read this one. Hope you guys liked it ٩(♡ε♡ )۶. Thanks for reading.

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thetieflingdm · 7 years

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Sanvers short-fic | Nowhere - Maggie’s childhood

Notes: Hey! This is my very first short-fic totally wrote in english, so please, be kind with me :) Please, don’t copy. If you like it, reblog or like it. That’s all,hope you like it.

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“Hey, Maggie!” A blonde and thin girl, with hazel eyes opened the backdoor after the ringbell played loudly and Maggie entered.

“Hi!” Those pair of dimples and wavy black long-hair grabbed the other in a big hug. “ I missed you on school today! What happened?”

“Oh, nothing… I was tired by last night. We came home way past midnight, then my mom told me to stay home.”

“Well, you didn’t miss a lot. Mrs. Serena just explained about Cold War.”

“Great, without ice guns for me.” The both laughed. They went to the basement, where they used to spent the whole time together. “So… what are we gonna do today?”

“Eliza, don’t play with me. You promised that we would…” Maggie smirked.

“Just kidding! Just kidding! Easy, baby!” Eliza laughed out loud. “Here, light this, while I put this VHS on. OMG, I can’t believe I’m doing this. You know, I love you so much, that’s why I’m doing this. And because I’m idiot. This is the worst movie ever!”

“No! You won’t talk like this with “Ghost”! It’s pure art!” The shorter one rolled her eyes while she lit a pot cigarette for them.

“Okay, but you already watched this one about a hundred times. Come on!”

“Liz, you’ve promised me!” Maggie begged.

“Don’t make this face. It’s on.” Eliza returned to the old couch where Maggie was sat, and sat besides her. “Give me this.” She picked up the cigarette and smoke.

The film began and Maggie grabbed a pillow and looked up to the TV. She knew every second of that film, but she still loved to watch. Eliza and Maggie were friends since the kindergarten, and now the were 14 years-old. They were always there for each other, every single moment of their lives. Secrets, problems, laughs, everything were shared in that basement. But since few months ago, Maggie started to pay attention in Eliza with different eyes. Heart eyes to be more specific. Eliza were blonde, big hazel eyes, big and bright smile, tall, skinny but not that much, and always sweet. Of course, Maggie never told anything about it neither for Eliza nor anyone. She knew that she would be seen as a freak, girls didn’t like girls, girls like boys only. Even if Maggie, deep in her heart, knew that she didn’t like boys, but girls. One girl, Eliza Wilkee, her best friend. Since November she was feeling like this and each day the feeling got bigger and bigger.They always met each other after school on Eliza’s basement to study or just enjoy the free time, and Maggie was always counting the seconds to met her after school.

“Hey? What’s wrong?” Eliza nudged Maggie. The brunette was staring at her for a long time. “Do I have a new pimple this big for you not to pay attention to your silly movie?” She laughed, making Maggie laugh too.

“No. Sorry, I was just thinking.”

“Oh, now I understand this burnt smell.”

“Haha. Very funny. Were you saying something?”

“Yes! And it seems that you didn’t hear a thing. Can I lay down my head on your lap?”

“Sure.” Maggie threw the pillow to her side and Eliza laid the head on her lap, starting to pay attention at the movie. The shorter girl forgot about the movie and focused on that beautiful face and delicious floral perfume that exuded from Eliza. Involuntarily, Maggie started to cuddle on Eliza’s hair and soon Eliza were sleeping.

The clock showed 6pm already when Maggie stopped herself to staring and cuddling Eliza. She, sadly, needed to go home.

“Liz? Sorry… I didn’t mean to wake you up but…”

“Oh, no… Sorry, Maggie! I am really sorry.” Eliza worried about sleeping on her friend’s lap for so long. “Why don’t you woke me up? I left you alone and incapable of moving… Sorry.”

“No! You don’t need to be sorry. Well, you missed the movie but.. The guy dies in the end.” They both smiled.

“I need to go… My mom asked me to buy some groceries to her, and I think it’s gonna rain.”

“Oh, okay…” Eliza and Maggie went upstairs to the backdoors again. They usually didn’t like the front door and it were way easier to Maggie, once her house was situated two blocks down Eliza’s house. “Once again, I’m sorry, Mag. I told you I was tired.” Eliza smiled.

“No problem, really. See you tomorrow?”

“Sure! Hey, tomorrow is Valentine’s day! We’ll be released early from school and there’ll be the Valetine’s prom!” Eliza celebrated.

“Yes.” Maggie doesn’t seemed as happy as Eliza.

“We could came here and play Space Invaders again. I’ve been practicing and I’m sure that now, finally, I can beat you.”

“Okay, it seems good.” Maggie forced a smile and hugged Eliza tight. “Good night, Liz. See you.”

“Bye, Mag. See you!”

Maggie grabbed her bike and went to the nearest market. She really needed to buy some groceries that her mom asked to prepare a big Valentine’s dinner to her father, but she also bought something extra. On Valentine’s day, every store starts to sell love cards and chocolates. Maggie picked one with lilies on the front and went home before the storm that was about to fall down.

“Mom! I put the groceries on the kitchen’s table!”Maggie yelled when she came home and made her way to her bedroom. She closed the door and took out the card from her pocket. Long minutes were needed until she decides that she would do that. She needed to. What if Eliza felt the same way for her? She needed to try and… if everything worked, they could keep it as a secret ‘til they were adults.

“Eliza, since a few months I’ve been thinking of you… a lot. I realized that I am so in love with you and your lovely smile, your delicate smell, the sound of your laugh and your presence by my side. It would mean the world to me if you go to the Valentine’s prom with me… What do you say? Can I have this dance with you? If yes, meet me at the stadium. Be my valentine. With love, Maggie”

After multiples attempts, Maggie finally wrote with her best letter on the card and hided it on her bag. On the next day, she would put the card on Eliza’s locker and just wait.

The next day came and Maggie couldn’t be more nervous. She had her breakfast in a few minutes and left home. Went to the school, being one of the firsts to arrive and made her way ‘til Eliza’s locker, the one at the opposite side of yours, and trough the slits, she put the card. Maggie knew that Eliza never went to her locker before the classes, so, she went to the Science class and waited. Eliza arrived, they both were acting normal to each other, except by Maggie’s anxiety.

“Are you okay? Or is this all because you’re gonna lose so bad today?” Eliza laughed.

“Ha-ha. You’ll never defeat me. You’re terrible at this game!”

“Hey, please show me some respect! I am the one who owns the game!”

“Mrs. Wilkee and Mrs. Sawyer, is everything okay? Do you wanna shared the joke with the class?” Mr. Smith called her attention.

“No, sir. We’re sorry.” Eliza asked and be quiet as Maggie.

After the bell rang, Maggie invented an excuse and ran from Eliza, going direct to the stadium.

“I need to go to… the bathroom! See you!”

“Han…. Okay. See you.”

Maggie past the whole afternoon in front of the stadium, seeing couples entering and coming out the ball room, wainting for Eliza but she never appeared. When her watch showed 5:30pm, Maggie knew that things with Eliza had not worked out and went back home. She barely put her feet in her house and your parents were already there, yelling at her.

“ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY, MAGGIE?”

“Wh-what? Wh-what did I do?” Maggie didn’t understood a thing. “I swear, I did nothing. If the heater was turned on, it was Charlie’s fault.”

“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?” Her father showed the card with lilies, totally crumpled and dirty.

“Oh, my God…” Her eyes automatically filled with tears and her voice was gone.

“WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, MAGGIE? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS CAUSES TO US? TO ELIZA’S PARENTS? ARE YOU CRAZY? HOW COULD YOU SAY ANYTHING LIKE THIS? ELIZA IS CRYING THE WHOLE DAY BECAUSE OF YOU. SHE OPENED HER LOCKER, SAW THIS, AND WENT HOME CRYING, IN SHOCK. HER PARENTS WERE TOTALLY ASHAMED. AND SO ARE WE. YOU’RE DISGUSTING, MAGGIE. YOU’RE DISGUSTING! THEY CALLED TO US CRYING AND PROBABLY HATING US BECAUSE OF YOU!”

“I did not raised you to be gay! I did not!” Her mom spoke, staring at her with anger in her eyes. Maggie couldn’t do anything but stand there, frozen, with tears scrolling down her cheeks.

“And you are not allowed to cry! We’re the ones who had the lives destroyed! I can’t believe you’re this monster. You’re disgusting! I will not have a butch here. I refuse this. Your… sickness will infect us all, and you can screw your life, but not your brother’s.”

“Da-dad… I-am…”

“Shut the fuck up! I don’t want to hear your voice! Never more!” He turned around and grab a handbag. “Get the hell out of here, right now!” Her father throw the bag at Maggie’s feet while her mom opened the door.

“Wh-what? Da-d. M-om. I… I don’t know… I don’t know where to go. Please… I am so sorry. I will never to this again. I’m sorry. I am so sorry, really. Please, let me stay here, please!” She begged. Maggie barely could speak, thanks to her crying.

“We can’t trust in your gay word. GET OUT, MAGGIE. NOW!”

“M-om. Please, don’t…” Maggie looked to her mom, who was holding the door opened.

“No! You listened to us. Go away! I can’t accept a gay freak like you. I can’t believe you did this to us.”

The father pushed the girl out and slammed the door so loud that the windows trembled. Maggie had her handbag in her arms, staring at the front door, crying so bad. These horrible things that her parents have said… She couldn’t believe. She had screwed up everything. Everything with Eliza, with Eliza’s parents, with her parents and brother, and with her entire life. What a girl with 14 years-old could do without a house, without money, without everything? Not to have Eliza was already bad enough, but now, she had nothing, literally.

Maggie was lost.

“GO AWAY OR I’LL CALL THE COPS!” Her father yelled from insides, making Maggie shiver and finally, she started to walk away her old house. She didn’t know where to go, she didn’t have anywhere to go. Maggie had ten dollars only on her pocket and some pay-phone’s coins.

“Grandma? Hi… it’s me… Maggie.”– She tried to call her grandmother when she stopped at some gas station, but the old woman switched off before Maggie ends the sentence. They already knew what happened. The last hope she had gone away too. Eliza would never help her now. Neither her parents, nor her grandparents. She had no one left as close as them to help her. After a long time thinking, Maggie opened her agenda in the last pages and found a number that she never called before, but it could be her last hope at all.

“Auntie Grace? Hi… It’s Maggie… Yeah, Maggie, your niece. I really need your help. My parents disowned me. They took me away from home and I have nowhere to go.” Maggie restarted to cry. Fortunately, her aunt had a great heart and didn’t care about the whole story, just picked her car and went to the gas station where Maggie was.

Forty five minutes after the call, auntie Grace found Maggie sat on the sidewalk with a handbag and her school bag, crying like a baby.

“Oh, my Godness… Maggie, what happened? The last time I saw you, you were 5 y-o, but you seemed happier.” The aunt took her bags and helped Maggie to stand up, making their way to the old car parked on the street.

“Auntie, I… I am so sorry. I am so sorry to call you like this, but… but I really don’t have anywhere to go, I need help.”

“Take a deep breathe, sweetheart. I didn’t understand you. Start all over, slow.” Auntie Grace was fat and tall, with big blue eyes and red cheeks. She always wore floral dresses and her hair was very short and red as fire.

“I made a mistake, auntie. And I am so sorry, I need your help. I don’t have anywhere to stay.”

“You can live with me as long as you want to, Maggie. But what did you do?”

“I… I told a girl that I love her.”

“Oh… Bad thing. Bad thing, sweetie. But, come on, you’ll forget this whole thing. You’ll be alright. Let’s go home.”

The end

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awooters · 4 years

Text

SECRET ADMIRER PT 3

“Where’s the fire?” Tom said running in with a pink bucket in his hand. “Sissy are you alright?” Chasen asked. “What’s going on in here?” My mom came in with her toothbrush in her hand. “What’s the fuss?” My dad asked with a cigar in his mouth. “Nothing,” I said standing there like an idiot. However I kept my mouth shut. That is until. “Ahhh,” I screamed once again. I covered my mouth with both of my hands. “Lisa Natalie Hawkins what are you screaming about?” My mother asked me. “Oh wait, I think I know why she screamed,” Chasen said. “You do?” I wondered how he knew. “Oh wait I think I know to,” Tom said. “Well are we going to stand here like a bunch of fools? And I for one,” My dad started to say. “I’m not a fool we get it,” The four of us said in unison. “Lisa has a secret admirer,” Chasen said. My two brothers then looked at each other. Then.. “Kissy face, kissy face,” The two of them said over and over. “Oh yeah at least I’m not going after Monica Lansberry who so happens to be older than you Chasen,” I told him off. “You’re dating who?” My dad asked. “Monica Lansberry,” Tom and I said in unison. “I know that but who exactly is she?” “She’s Rita Lansberry’s sister, well younger sister,” My mom told him. “How young?” My dad wanted to know. “I think she’s thirty something...” My mom was trying to think. “She’s 32,” I said. “How is it that you know this?” My dad asked me. “Yeah that’s what I like to know,” Chasen said a little embarrassed. “Tom,” I said. “Tom I told you that in confidence,” Chasen said. “Sorry but I had to tell someone and I didn’t think that Lisa would use it against you,” Tom said. “Don’t you mean that she used it on you,” Chasen said. “Yeah that’s what I said,” Tom said. “No you,” Chasen said. “That’s what I said Y O U. You,” Tom said. “Well in any case you need to stop seeing her,” Dad said. “But dad I’m not even,” Chasen was about to say but got interrupted. “Chasen Alex Hawkins you heard your father,” My mom said. My mom said. My mom and dad walked out of my room and into the hallway. “Thanks sis thanks a lot. Now they are on my ass about who I date now. And I’m not the only girl out of the three of us,” Chasen said. “Well that’s what you get. By the way if you keep discriminating me I will unload a whole bunch of secrets about you,” I said to him as I watched Chasen and Tom leave my room. I closed my bedroom door behind them. Oh my gosh. I’m so excited! I can’t believe Steven Parker even likes me. Oh my God! What am I going to wear? I instantly started tearing my closet apart as I kept saying no to each piece of clothing. What am I going to do? It is now midnight. And I have nothing to wear. UGH! I ended up waking up on the top of a pile of my clothes on my bed. So I obviously did not sleep well. When I did wake up I realized that it was 7:00 in the morning I only have two hours to prepare. UGH! I quickly ran into the bathroom and I slammed the door behind me. “Who’s slamming the door?” My dad asked. ‘Sorry dad I’m in a hurry,” I yelled out. I took a quick shower. I had no time to fix my hair the way I wanted so I just put it into a high ponytail. I wrapped my towel around my body. I then walked into my room and saw on my phone that it was 8:15. Shoot! I took longer than I thought. Crap! UGH! I practically just put on my white leggings, pink halter top. blue jean jacket and brown knee high boots. I didn’t have time to put on jewelry or makeup. I grabbed my purse, cell phone, and the piece of paper that had the address on it. “Lisa came here sweetheart you’ve got,” My mom was trying to say but I interrupted her. “Sorry mom I have got to go I’m in a hurry bye,” I said to her. “But honey,” She said but I was already out the door. I practically flew down the dirt road to get onto the highway. I could even visualize what Steven would say to me when I get to the cafe. “Hi Steven so sorry I’m late and I look a mess,” I would say. “What are you talking about you’re not late and you look great,” He would say as he would hand me my favorite drink. Which happens to be coffee. “Pull it over here baby,” He said to me. Huh? I thought snapping back into reality. “Pull it over,” The police said into his megaphone. “Crap!” I expressed underneath my breath. I pulled over to the side of the cornfield. The police pulled over to the side right behind me. I rolled down my window as the deputy walked up to the driver’s side of the car. “License and registration please,” The deputy said. “Yes sir,” I said. I reached over to the passenger’s side and pulled open the glove box to get my registration out. Then I reached into my purse to get my license out. I handed them to the deputy. He then walked back to his patrol car. Once he came back I realized it was 9:15. UGH! “Alright I checked you out. You are clean so I’m going to let you off with a warning,” The deputy said. “Thank you so much deputy...” I said trying to find his name on his uniform. “It’s Randall and you’re welcome however if I have to pull you over again I will write you a speeding ticket is that clear?” He said. “Yes sir, thanks again,” I said to him as he was handing me my license and registration back. I took off realizing I was really late. However I was close to my destination. I parked on the side of the street considering it was downtown Indiana. I paid the meter 25 cents for an hour. I then walked into Mrs. Parker’s cafe. I spotted Steven behind the cash register cashing out a customer. “Oh hi Steven I’m here,” I said walking up to the counter. “Huh?” He looked at me confused. “I thought it was very romantic of what you wrote,” “What?” He said looking at me up and down laughing. Everybody else was laughing to. What are they laughing at? “Lisa?” Alex said coming from the side of me. “Oh hello Alex,” I said surprised to see him. “What’s the matter with you people it could happen to anyone,” Alex said. “Well that’s true,” Steven said. They all stopped laughing. “Lisa look down,” Alex said. I looked down and saw two pairs of my underwear stuck onto my boots. Seriously? How embarrassing. I quickly walked outside to pull off my two underwear’s from my boots and just left them in my car. I walked back in thinking I still had a chance. At least my underwear were clean. And like Steven said it could happen to anybody. Actually Alex said that but Steven agreed. And also everybody went back to their coffee. “So Steven you uh. uh.”I stuttered like an idiot. “Right this way,’ A waitress said to me. “Okay,” I said confused. I was being seated at a table in the back. “Your date should be with you in a moment,” She said. “Lisa,” I turned to the side to see who it was. It was Alex and he was holding flowers. “These are for you,” He said. “Thank you,” I said confused. Is Alex my secret admirer? “Alex are you my secret admirer?” I asked him. “I sure am,” He said smiling as he seated himself. I smiled back.

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cemo-writes · 5 years

Text

Everything in Ashes One Shot

Backstory: I originally wrote a book called The Way We Were about a prince named Malik who is captured by a dragon named Vesorius. But I basically changed the entire plot and all the characters, genderbending Malik so he was Malia and genderbending Vesorius into Zhaohui. Though Zhaohui’s character is extremely similar to Vesorius’, Malia’s and Malik’s characters are completely different. I thought it would be cool to actually include Malik in Everything in Ashes as a minor character, like as Malia’s cousin. But I got the idea today that maybe they could be twins??? And Malia could be the odd sibling that nobody really talks about??? And I wrote a one shot???

Here goes???

I didn’t quite know where I was going, all that I knew was that I had to get away: away from the palace, away from the Emperor, away from Shirim, away from Brecht.

Away from everything. Like feral animals, they seemed to pounce on me and scratch my skin, and they bit and held on and I couldn’t seem to shake them off.

So I ran away from them toward the back door of the palace.

Malik, my brother, was sitting on the back steps. A cloud of shimmering silver smoke plumed into the air, glittering in the moonslight. He turned when I opened the doors. I was panting. I probably looked crazy.

“Hey,” he said.

“You do silver?” I asked breathlessly, not sure what else to say.

He stared at me long and hard. The junbugs filled the silence. A parrot called and cackled in the depths of the woods beside the royal gardens.

Malik looked tired, so incredibly tired. “Malia I—” he sighed and set down his misty silver pipe. He frowned and swept his black hair out of his face. “Malia, I’m sorry.”

I blinked stupidly at him. “What?”

“I’ve been a terrible brother.”

“When?”

“Always.”

My throat tightened. I clenched my fists and looked away from my brother. It was true in a way—we’d never been close, he’d always thought me a freak. He never told his friends about me, always told me to stay in my room when he had guests. I was used to it. And it wasn’t so bad, staying quiet. That was one thing I was good at.

But sometimes I wondered what it would have been like if Malik and I had been proper twins, if he’d been to me what Shirim’s sisters were to her. Perhaps this was Malik’s way of passing me a branch to grab onto.

But it was too late. And he knew it was too late. And maybe he was never going to say sorry until then.

“I’m—”

“Engaged, I heard,” Malik said.

“I was going to say I’m going into the woods.”

Malik’s eyes widened. They were so much like our mother’s. “I thought you hate woods?”

I was surprised he knew that much. Yes, I did hate the woods. I hadn’t been there in over a year, since the day Shirim left me. There was something about the close packed trees and all of those shadows and hidden creatures that terrified me, something that reminded me of a time I couldn’t remember. Even though Kaziq was hot and humid, whenever I entered the woods I expected cold.

But there was something in the woods. Something I’d hidden there because I knew nobody would think to look.

“Just don’t tell anyone, okay? And I won’t tell mom about you doing silver.” I paused and extended a hand. “Deal?”

Malik reached out and took my hand, shaking it. With a jolt, I realised I couldn’t remember the last time I touched Malik. For all I knew, it was when we were in the womb. The skin of his hand was surprisingly rough.

I let go and turned briskly toward the forest, stopping only to say, “Good bye.”

Malik raised a hand in farewell. I parted with him.

Things I didn’t know at that moment:

Violet hava blossoms close at midnight

Malik was terrible at keeping secrets

I wouldn’t see my brother for a very long time.

#everythinginashes #my wip #writeblr #writing #daily writing #one shot #lgbt fantasy #lesbian fantasy #writers on tumblr #novel writing

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kashimos-hajime · 6 years

Text

Pachelbel’s Canon in Disaster

Request: firstly I just want to say that your writing is insanely good & I love reading your stuff. secondly i wanted to know if I could send in a Kavinsky request if that's ok? you invite peter to a family function to meet your extended family & he's nervous because he's afraid that they wont like him because they kinda have a thing about dating within your race (I'm coloured/black btw) its always something i worry about sadly but if you don't feel comfortable writing this that's fine

A/N: That sucks that you have to deal with that anon. I hope your family opens up soon and you can love who you want to love. Unfortunately, I didn’t write it as a black reader because I am not black and I don’t want to offend anyone by using stereotypes. Therefore, I used people of my own race (Chinese) and went from there. Hopefully, it’s okay! I mostly wrote fluff for this because I don’t think I can bring myself to write such hate right now. Sorry for such a long wait.

As the usual, thank you to @teawithbucky for being the OG.

Masterlist and Taglist are in my bio!

Summary: When you’re invited to your cousin’s traditional Chinese wedding, your boyfriend’s feelings about meeting more of your family resurface and while you don’t want him uncomfortable, you do want him to go. So, it’s up to you to convince him.

Characters: Peter Kavinsky, Chinese!Reader

Wordcount: 1.8k

Rating: K+ (soft, sweet fluff)

You knead the back of your neck with your fingers as you wait for the water to boil. It’s nearly there and you just want to make some noodles. There’s a soft rhythmatic pad of footsteps and you turn around to see Peter coming down the stairs with the messiest bedhead you’ve ever seen. Your other housemates are either asleep or out so you have to house to yourselves as long as you’re quiet.

“Morning,” he calls sleepily, collapsing on the couch in the living room. “You’re home?”

“Because it’s noon,” you reply as you start seeing the bubbles you’ve been waiting for. Taking out a frozen slab of udon, you slip it into the water and cover the pot. “You want some lunch?”

“Yes, please,” he says, voice scraping hoarsely. You smile at him, shaking your head as he gets up and makes his way into the kitchen, sitting on one of the tall stools at the counter. Heading around to him, you press a kiss to the side of his head before pecking his lips. His arms wrap around you, pressing his face into your stomach. “Squishy,” he mumbles into your middle and you laugh, threading your fingers through his hair.

You and Peter have been dating since he saw you at the movie theatre. You two hit it off since he saw you at the release of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 at your local cinema and had argued profusely over who was your favorite (yours being Yondu, his being Gamora, which then led to an argument if Yondu even counted as a Guardian, which led to you winning and him asking you out and you saying if he ever had the luck to see you again). Over a few chance encounters, you found yourself becoming close friends and then falling head over heels in love, leading to you taking the initiative and asking him out.

The two of you now live in a house along with three others that go to a university with Peter. You yourself is an aspiring actor and have just landed a role in a TV show that’s meant to be a mid-season replacement. Hopefully it hits off.

“You don’t have work today?”

“I already finished my scenes,” you say. “I woke up at midnight, drove over, finished at ten this morning.” He raises his head, chin against your stomach and you grin hopelessly at his wide brown eyes and tangled brown hair that falls into his eyes.

“You didn’t wake me up?”

“You were binge-watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine again,” you say with a sigh. Brushing hair away from his forehead, you bend over and kiss his forehead. He smiles as you pull away and go to the pot to make sure it doesn’t burn. You take the chopsticks that are resting atop the bowl and stir around the noodles, separating them. As you do so, your phone rings and you glance over your shoulder to look at the ID. When you see it’s your mom, you look to Peter.

“Can you answer that? It’s my mom.” He takes the phone, swiping to accept the call.

“Hey, Mrs. (Y/L/N).” You turn back to your pot as Peter makes conversation with your mom. You know they get along fairly well since introducing them a few months ago and you like how they interact so you just continue cooking. Covering the pot again, you go to the freezer and pull out some dumplings you had bought before coming home this morning. Peter has a smile on his face as he talks and you use your chopsticks to transfer the noodles to a bowl and pour the pepper and green onion dressing you had prepared earlier, tossing it so it coats the noodles evenly before sticking the chopsticks into the bowl and placing it on the counter across Peter.

You slide the bowl over to him and he stops it with a hand before removing the phone from his ear.

“Your mom wants to talk to you,” he said, taking the bowl and starting to slurp on his noodles. Rolling your eyes playfully, you turn off the stove and go to sit beside Peter. The dumplings can wait.

“Hey, Mom,” you start in Chinese. “What’s going on?” Peter spares you a glance when you start speaking your native language, smiling and kissing your cheek. Turning your head, you ask silently for another on your lips and he obliges quickly before returning back to his noodles.

“Did you check your mail lately?”

“Yeah? Why, is there something important in there?” you ask, trying to think back to the contents you had quickly scanned before setting it on the small cabinet near the stairs. There were bills, ads, and magazines, nothing more but-

Oh, wait.

“Oh, the wedding invite! Yes, I got it, plus he emailed me yesterday to make sure.” Getting up, you go said cabinet and take out the white envelope with the card within. Bringing it back to the kitchen, you open it and slide out the card.

“Can you make it or do you have filming on that day?” Checking the calendar hanging on the wall with a quick look, you shake your head before remembering your mom couldn’t see you.

“No, it should be fine. Unless I’m pulled for reshoots, I should be done by March so I can make it,” you say and you hear your mom giggle on the other end.

“I can’t wait to see your cousin in a suit,” she says nefariously and you sigh, eyes resting on Peter who’s sipping on his soup. “You should bring Peter along, have him meet the family.”

“Oh, yeah, of course. Bye, Mom.” Hanging up, you set your phone down and read over the invitation. Seeing as it’s January, you highly doubt the director would pull you in for reshoots when the weather is completely gone in March. The series is nearly in post production and you sigh, leaning forward on your elbows.

“What?” Peter asks, setting his now empty bowl in the sink. You sigh, coming around to stand by him near the sink as he begins to fill the bowl up with water so nothing will stain. He turns to you and you loop your arms around his neck, pulling him down. Kissing him multiple times, you just savour in his presence. There hasn’t been enough time between you lately and as the snow outside layered on the sill of the window, you just brush noses with him.

“I have to go to a wedding,” you mumble, lost in his scent, as his hands settle on your hips. He’s always had this effect on you. “My mom said I should bring you as my plus one.” He frowns and your eyes scan his face, not exactly confused. He’s always shied away from meeting your family, with your differences. In fact, he had made you make sure he learned everything he could about what was proper and what wasn’t, teach him how to make chopsticks, and even when he became a regular guest, Peter always helped with the dishes and tried to be almost overly helpful.

Now, his worry had faded away after a long stalemate in the war between you and your parents. They had hated that you brought some guy who seemed lazy, sleazy, and white, and you hated that they never saw past that. The only reason you are now on speaking terms is the fact that Peter proved them wrong and they let go of their prejudices. Still, clearly the confrontation lingers in Peter’s mind as much as it does in yours from time to time. You hate to see it resurface as a much bigger beast at the thought of meeting your extended family when the two of you had thought that part of the war was over.

“And?”

“Well, do you want to come?” you ask nervously. “You don’t have to but it’ll be nicer if you’re there.” You search his face, reading every inch of his hesitation.

“I’ll think about it.” You cup his face, brushing your thumb over his cheek and smile.

“Okay.” Pulling away, you sigh and he leans down to press his lips into your hair. Your hands trail down his neck and onto his arms, holding him there until you are ready to leave.

The topic becomes a dreaded subject. Every time one of you sees the calender with the red circle around the date of the wedding, either you or Peter leave the room. You hate how your relationship changed but you can’t help it. Especially because it’s a traditional chinese marriage, you know it just amps up the pressure on Peter to accept. If he says no, it may seem like he’s disrespecting your culture because he doesn’t think it’s worth his time. If he says yes, he may think or say or do something he thinks is wrong and therefore not have any fun at all.

When there are two weeks before the wedding, you and him are hanging out in your shared bed. You’re resting at the head of the bed, back against the headboard as you work on your newest resumé while he’s sprawled across the end of the bed on his back, scrolling through his phone and reading the textbook he downloaded onto his phone.

You sneak glances up at him, trying to approach the subject carefully. You don’t know how to say it, nor how to broach the subject but you want him to come. You want to show off your boyfriend like everyone else in your family does, and you want him to meet people you’ve grown up with all your life.

“So… it’s two weeks away,” he finally says, letting his phone and his hands drop to his sides. “I still don’t know whether or not I want to come. I’ve thought about it,” he adds, propping himself up on an elbow and turning to you. “Believe me, I have.”

“I know.” You close your laptop and set it aside as he crawls up between your legs and rests his head on your tummy. Threading your fingers through his hair, you sigh. “You’ve been using that brain more often than usual,” you tease, leaning over and pecking his forehead. He glares and scrunches up his face at you but you merely sigh, remembering the situation.

“I want to go, (Y/N). You know I do. I just can’t-”

“I can teach you. Everything I know about traditional weddings; everything from clothes to food to manners. We can start and if you feel ready by the date of the wedding, we can go together, okay?” A hopeful smile crosses his face and he sits up.

“Really?”

“Yeah. What do you think?” Leaning over, he kisses you hard against the lips and you laugh into it as the two of you roll over in bed. He gently moves your laptop to the nightstand as you land on top of him.

“I think it’s a fantastic plan.” Beaming, you lean down and your noses brush.

Two weeks later, Peter stands beside you at the wedding reception, your hand in his.

Your smiles can not be brighter.

TAGS: @teawithbucky @shadowsndaisies @itzyagirlrae

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