#plus its an OUTSIDER pov

[sp0o0kylights]

 Part Five Part Two / Part Six YOU ARE HERE. / Part Seven

A03

"No come back here and hug me dammit!"

"I told you it'd be funny." Gareth stage whispered to Steve the following Monday, as Eddie proceeded to cause his usual amount of chaos in the lunchroom.

Tiff just shook her head.

"Come on, just do it and then tell everyone I'm better!" Eddie shrieked again, loud enough to be heard across the school. Possibly into the parking lot, given the winces and glares their peers tossed Eddie's way.

Jeff had his own head in his hands having been Eddie's prior cuddle victim and still suffering the consequences from it.

"I hate you." He groaned, and every single person knew he was talking to Gareth. "I cannot believe you told him his stupid hugs didn't even compare to Steve's. He almost broke my back this morning!"

Which wasn't an understatement--Gareth himself had dodged his best friend's aggressive hugs only by bolting to his first class, then acting like a ninja as he snuck about all day.

He'd even dropped to the floor and army-crawled at one point.

Now he stayed close to Steve, blatantly using the jock as a meat shield.

"Anyone have any ideas on how we can get him to chill out?" Stewart asked, from where he'd taken refuge under the lunch table.

Their second eldest member put up with many things, but drew the line at bodily injury by overly affectionate metalhead.

"Same as always." Jeff grumbled, making sure Gareth saw his glare. "We wait him out."

"Tiff!" Eddie whined, whirling around, hands reaching out for her.

"You touch me Munson and I'll burn the trigonometry notes I promised you." Tiffany threatened without looking up from her book.

"Fine." Eddie wheeled right back around. "Graaaaant-!"

"This could take days!" Stewart complained, acting like a man caged. "I can't wait much longer!"

'Dramatic, the whole lot of them.' Gareth thought fondly, knowing he was just as bad.

"Okay. Seriously, how are we fixing this?" Jeff said sourly, as Grant once again picked Eddie up by his jacket and bodily threw him as far away as he could.

Like an eldritch being from a B horror movie, Eddie simply bounced back up and came for him again.

"His issue is that he thinks I'm the better cuddler, right? Nothing else?" Steve said thoughtfully.

"Yes." Groaned the other four in unison, as Grant laid a hand on Eddie's forehead, the latter pinwheeling his arms like a cartoon character.

Steve nodded once, before his face morphed into something devastatingly smug. "Yeah we're screwed."

Jeff switched targets from Gareth to glare at Steve instead. "Really Harrington?"

"I'm back to Harrington now? Jeff, man, you wound me." Steve faked a gasp, putting a hand over his heart.

It made Gareth grin, if only because Steve wouldn't have done that a month ago. "God I love when you're a bitch."

Steve looked over at him and winked.

"Just for that, we should make you cuddle with him." Stewart grumbled. "Tell him he can decide for himself who's better!"

Which of course killed the playful look on Steve's face.

Two pairs of shoes proceeded to kick at Stewart (who dodged Jeff's only to be nailed by Tiffany's far more tactical aim.)

Except when Gareth though about it, it actually wasn't a half-bad idea.

If one pitched it right.

"You know," Gareth said slowly, a plan forming. It was half-baked, but it'd work. "--you could end this pretty easily if you did. You  have the power."

"Are we being serious right now?" Jeff grumped. "This does not feel like we're being serious."

Gareth ignore him.

"You up for one last cuddle, Sir Carrington?"  He asked, playfully.

He got a flat look in return. "You've got to be kidding me. You're seriously suggesting the solution here is for me and Eddie to cuddle."

"I am indeed." Gareth said with a grin. "So long as it's an absolutely terrible cuddle."

That got an interesting reaction.

"Good luck, I'm an amazing cuddler." Steve huffed, offended--and it looked like he actually believed it.

A curiosity, considering even with everyone announcing themselves before touching him he still got jumpy.

"Then pretend." Gareth wheedled. "You don't even have to do it for that long. Sneeze in his ear and he'll be done for."

He got a few grossed out looks for that, but it was worth it all to see Steve growing more comfortable with the idea.

"If I were to do anything of the sort I wouldn't sneeze in his ear." The jock retorted, but he looked contemplative.

"I'm sure you could come up with something else. " Gareth suggested, and gave his best, award winning smile as he said it. "You're creative when cornered."

No ulterior motives here, no sir!

"I know what you're doing, Gareth." Steve said, calling him out immediately. "But I might be convinced to take a hit for the team--for a price. My reputation would be on the line."

"What do you want?" Stewart asked immediately, more than a little desperate as Eddie carried on in the background.

"Well..." Steve trailed off, slowly meeting each and every one of them in the eye. "what are you offering?"

"You know what?" Jeff said, putting his head back in his hands. " Just for that, you and Gareth both are on my shit list."

"I'll bake you those marble brownies you wanted and get right back off it." Steve said, the smug air only growing as Jeff sighed loudly.

"Name your price, Harrington." Stewart said, talking over Jeff's second, overly dramatic sigh. "You want some D&D treasure, or an item for your character? You got it. You want a fucking," He paused, eyes scrunching up in thought. "--new basketball? Or whatever sport ball you're into right now?"

"Not even close." Steve told him.

Jeff sighed a third time, loud and obnoxious.

"Why does this always fall down to me?" Tiff asked the ceiling, as though God himself might respond back with the answer. She tilted her head back down, aiming to make eye contact with Steve. "You're in Rucker's class right? I'll write your poly-sci paper. Highest grade I will guarantee is a B, and that is because it would be suspicious if you looked like you suddenly had strong, A-grade opinions on current, geopolitical policies."

Steve snapped and pointed towards her. "Sold!" He called, mimicking an auctioneer.

Smooth as butter, he turned towards Hurricane Eddie. "Hey Munson!"

In two seconds the jock had summoned that cocky persona of his, wearing a smarmy smile like a cloak. It was getting easier and easier to tell which "bitchy Steve" was the real one and which one was a total front.

(Tiffany had decided the man was a mean girl at his core and honestly, the label stuck.

But Mean Girl Steve was a hell of a lot different than King Steve--or any of the other overly confident swaggering personas Steve adopted like a second skin.)

For for all the preparation he'd had, was still rigid most of the time Gareth had occupied his lap, only relaxing when the younger boy had gotten Eddie so wound up their eldest friend couldn't form coherent sentences.

Now, as Steve strode over and issued the challenge of a cuddle off during the next Hellfire game, he was already less stiff.

Eddie had that effect on people. Particularly ones who had crushes on him.

"This is the stupidest thing I've ever been involved in." Tiffany complained.

"Is it Tiff? Is it really?" Jeff challenged as he finally sat up.

"She's definitely forgetting the purple griffin incident." Grant said, completely ignoring what was going down on the other end of the table as he took advantage of Eddie being distracted to make his escape.

"Fine." Tiff conceded before anyone could list anything else off, "But it's at least in the top five."

"This Friday, Harrington." Eddie announced loudly then, fire in his eyes and a finger in Steve's face. "Me and you. It is on."

"Hope you're ready to lose." Steve taunted.

It was hilarious as it was ridiculous.

Which meant of course, that dumb shit had to get in the way of it.

xXx

Steve backslid the next morning.

Worse, he kept backsliding, growing worse throughout the week until the person left looked a whole lot like the guy they’d dragged to their table all those months ago.

He sat silently next to Eddie during lunch, only speaking if asked a direct question, all banter and playful bitchiness gone.

He avoided Hellfire’s members in the hallway, Stewart reporting he had been uncharacteristically silent during their one shared class.

Most damning?

He’d flinched when Eddie had done their dumb little “shoulder bumping” routine.

Which officially meant that ghost Steve was back.

(“I didn’t realize how Steve was our little ray of sunshine and positivity until he stopped being it.” Tiff complained, idly spinning a pencil in the library. “Worse, I didn’t think I’d miss it.”

Gareth, who definitely wasn’t skipping again, agreed wholeheartedly.)

Not even Eddie's antics got a smile out of Steve. He really tried too, to the point where Gareth was starting to worry his best friend was going to do something dramatic just to get a little chuckle.

Steve at least, picked up on the fact he was freaking out all of Hellfire when Grant started to get blunt with his questions.

A part of Gareth (the part that appreciated Grant’s bluntness, instead of the rest of him, that wanted to duck and cover in case it made things worse) was curious if this would finally get Steve to open up; but instead it just made things worse.

Within two direct “No really dude, what's wrong?” ’s, Steve retired the haunted act and instead brought the downright freaky return of one Hawkins' jock's doing a real good job at pretending he was okay.

Pity for him this wasn't Tommy H or the rest of the public Steve was trying to fool.

This was a group of people who tended to be hyper aware of things, ranging from their surroundings to their people. (And then went on to play, as Steve regularly teased them, “one giant math game about it.”)

Not a single one of them was fooled by the act, or the evasive answers Steve pulled out of his ass when the rest of them all, individually, in their own way, tried to figure out if their newest member was okay or just having a few bad days.

"He told me he wasn't feeling good." Jeff said, worrying his lip with his teeth when they all finally convened together after school to discuss it.

"Are we choosing to buy that?" Tiffany asked, one eyebrow raised in a challenge. "He's been off since Tuesday. It's Thursday."

Grant huffed an agreement, arms crossed over his chest.

"Devils advocate, people are typically sick for more than one day." Stewart pointed out. "Dudes probably got allergies or something, it is the end of May."

"It's not allergies." Gareth said flatly.

Allergies usually came with symptoms like coughing and sneezing.

They did not come with vacant stares and falling over one's feet when their friends said hello in the hallway.

"Well clearly he doesn't want to talk about it so maybe he'll just…work himself out of whatever it is." Jeff reasoned. "I don't know if we should really push him about it."

"And miss out on another week's worth of baking?" Stewart bemoaned, as if Steve's lack of treats was the sole reason they were concerned.

Tiff swiped at him with her paperback.

Interestingly, Eddie had yet to say much on the matter. Everyone knew he was just as worried. The guy was a secret teddy bear, and they all still knew to warn him if a dog so much as got hurt in a movie. Worse, Steve was one of his "sheepies" as he so lovingly called them all, and was notoriously defensive of Hellfire as a whole.

Gareth had been eyeing him throughout their little gathering, watching as his best friend tapped his foot anxiously.

The guy seemed lost in his own head and while it wasn't completely unusual, it too, was odd behavior.

Gareth squinted at him, making eye contact and asking if he was alright with the kind of subtle facial expressions only best friends could pull.

Eddie didn't respond, but instead, looked away.

'That's a no.' Gareth thought, as the conversation around them wound down, without anyone coming up with any solid plans on what they were going to do about the Steve situation.

This is exactly how he ended up following Eddie home.

"Inviting ourselves over I see." The elder teen muttered out of the corner of his mouth as Gareth chased him to his van, hopping into the passenger seat instead of heading for his bicycle.

"It's a good night for a smoke sess." Gareth responded casually.

"You hate smoking weed." Eddie returned with a snort. "You prefer edibles."

"Just think of what we could do with Harrington's baking skills." Gareth replied wistfully--but made sure to watch his friend.

There it was. The slightest of weird expressions, flitting over Eddie's face like a shadow before he hid it back into whatever cage it escaped from.

"You're worried." Gareth guessed. Not like that was a hard one.

"Aren't we all, Gare-Bear?" Eddie returned, eyes never leaving the road.

He pretended like he couldn't feel Gareth scanning him, taking in the too tense shoulders and the shuttered, guarded look on his face.

"You know something." Gareth guessed after a moment.

The declaration made his best friend flinch, hands squeezing tight on the wheel.

'Got you.'

"Are you going to spill or do I have to blackmail it out of you?"

"Please Gary you have nothing you could blackmail me with." Eddie challenged with a snort. "I am shameless."

A challenge that could not be ignored, if only because Gareth wanted to remind him who had had the upper hand since Steve had crashed into Hellfire.

"Really? So you wouldn't mind if I show Steve those photos of the time we dressed up as a Barbie “ken doll” band for Jeff’s sister’s birthday? You know, the one were you were wearing that pink boa and the star glasses--”

A hand shot out, clapping Gareth over the mouth.

"Thank you, I got it!" Eddie said, voice an octave higher than normal. "Why do you still even have that!?"

"My mom." Gareth managed to get out, even if it was horribly muffled between Eddie's bony fingers.

"Curse that woman's thirst for nostalgia and scrapbooks." Eddie hissed, as if his mom was some grand villain.

"You love her crafts, you ass." Gareth rolled his eyes, wiping his mouth when Eddie finally removed his hand. "Now spill."

"I'm not sure this is what's causing it." The elder cautioned after a pause just long enough to be dramatic. "But rumor has it his parents are home."

"You think they're why he's acting all…" Gareth trailed off, unsure of what to compare Steve to and not wanting to say a kicked dog.

Eddie hummed in agreement. "Every time I walk into Steve's house, the place starts off feeling like a living tomb. There’s got to be a reason for that, and the only one I can think of is that his parents want that. The tomby-ness."

Gareth leaned back in his seat, contemplating. Turned the idea of Steve's mysterious parents over in his head, comparing it to how the guy's house did have a sort of museum quietness to it.

It wasn't that the place was huge, or even that Steve was typically its solo occupant beyond the occasional weekends one or both of his parents "popped in."

It was the perfectness of it.

How on any given day a photographer could show up to take pictures and the place would be camera ready.

A sort of--trophy house.

He went on to tell his best friend this.

"It’s like a shrine to their success." Eddie added an hour later, when they'd resettled onto his couch, trying to break down just what exactly about Steve's house made it so weird.

They'd shared a beer each--some gross kind that a cat couldn't have gotten buzzed off of, and Gareth had just finished helping Eddie select their chosen flower to roll when an awkward sound erupted throughout the trailer.

If Gareth knew any better, he'd say it almost sounded like someone was knocking on the shitty aluminum door.

Couldn't be though, because he'd never in his life heard someone knock--Eddie's uncle Wayne had a key, and every member of Hellfire was aware that the window in Eddie's room had a broken lock.

To get it open you just had to push at it from a specific angle, and with a few tugs it'd come right up for you.

The noise came again, this time a little louder.

Gareth looked to Eddie, and found his friend holding all the weed.

Understanding flashed between them, and Gareth stood up to answer the door as Eddie magically made the drugs disappear.

Thankfully, it wasn't the cops.

"Hey." Steve said, standing awkwardly on Eddie's porch, looking like he desperately wanted inside but wasn't sure he'd be allowed in. "Eddie said I could just come over if I needed to…?"

He trailed off, awkwardly miming smoking with his fingers.

Gareth couldn't hold in the snort.

"You're in luck man, because I just finished rolling a few." He said, stepping back to let their wayward jock in.

"Hey Stevie." Eddie drawled, now in the process of making the weed reappear. "Come in, have a seat, take a puff."

Rather than sit on the admittedly small couch, Steve chose instead to drop his ass to the floor, leaving the open spot above him to Gareth. He waited until the younger was seated before he leaned back, broad shoulders brushing both his friends legs as he relaxed.

Eddie’s hand twitched, as though he wanted to run it through Steve’s hair and thought better of it.

(Knowing him as Gareth did, that was very likely exactly what the weird little movement of his was.)

“You wanna tell us what’s goin’ on?” Eddie said softly, long after all three of them had an inhale of the joint Eddie had lit, sitting in relaxed silence. "Cause you've been pretty down, Stevie."

"Yeah." Steve agreed hollowly. "Sorry."

Eddie nudged his leg with a foot, then offered him the blunt again. "Don't apologize man, we can't all be sunshine and rainbows."

“You’d be surprised at how many people expect an apology for just that.” Steve muttered.

Gareth traded careful looks over Steve’s head, Eddie turning back and resolutely plowing on.

“You don’t have to, but talking tends to make people feel better.”

“Does it?” Steve asked, before taking a slow, measured inhale of the joint.

Idly he added; "Gareth you can't roll for shit."

"Fuck you dude!" The younger teen exclaimed, instantly offended, but knew a redirect when he saw one. "You try rolling them then!" He snatched the joint out of Steve's hands, huffing audibly.

It was an offer. If Steve didn't want to take the opening Eddie had given him, he could instead take the out Gareth had given.

The option reminded him of Alice in Wonderland (Gareth’s actual favorite movie, even if he tells everyone else it's The Empire Strikes Back)

Specifically when Alice was lost, standing before a split path and asking advice from the Cheshire Cat.

Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?" Alice asks.

The Cheshire Cat spins its head, smiling its smile as it answers;“ That depends a good deal on where you want to get to."

Steve proved himself to be a stronger man that Gareth had given him credit for, and took the harder path.

"My parents are home." He said, eyes glued to the TV in front of him, as if that would make the conversation easier.

Perhaps it did.

Eddie to his credit, didn't treat the declaration as anything important. "Yeah? They bring you something nice back from New York?"

"Florida this time and no."

Steve fussed with a thread on his sweater for a moment, a single yellow thread unspooling from the end. It looked like he’d been tugging at it a lot, a small imperfection on an otherwise expensive looking piece of clothing.

"Apparently I've been such a disappointment they're demanding I get a job." He began again. "They want me to learn the realities of hard work."

Gareth traded puzzled glances with Eddie.

Steve had never shied from hard work.

Everyone had heard the story of how he’d won over every coach in Hawkins' High’s favor. It was practically school legend, since he was the first freshmen to take up and finish some bullshit exercise challenge they hosted every year.

The guy even had a herd of some of the most obnoxious children he looked after, without pay.

There was no way the source of whatever was eating at him was a summer job.

Or perhaps, not just a summer job.

"Summer jobs fucking suck, but I hear that new mall’s finally finished.” Gareth said hesitantly. “You could probably get in somewhere there before you head off to college.”

"I'm not going to college. Didn't get into any." Steve said flatly.

Ah-ha.

"I only applied to the one Nancy made me." He added, still refusing to look at either of them. "Couldn't bring myself to apply to any of the others."

Which--odd, but it wasn't the oddest thing ever. Some people just didn't like school, or traditional learning methods.

No matter how much Gareth's counselor insisted otherwise.

"My dad found that out too." Steve said after a moment.

"College isn't the fucking answer to life." Gareth continued. "There's plenty of other things you can do."

Eddie’s head cocked, like a dog who’d been presented with a puzzle.

Steve shrugged. "That's not my issue with it, but the old man thinks it is. He keeps insisting that the free rides are over now." His voice kicked into a deep mockery of his fathers at the end, the condescending tone coming through loud and clear. “Thinks I'm here to screw my girlfriend and party my life away. Wouldn't hear me about not wanting to go to college, at all. Definitely didn't care that I broke up with Nancy." The last part was muttered, almost said more to himself and for himself than it was for them.

Eddie’s head tilted the other way.

"Did you have an idea of what you wanted to do?" Gareth asked. He figured it they knew, they might be at least able to help.

He got a shrug in response.

Gareth was about to open his mouth--probably to put his foot in it, but hell if Steve wanted help brainstorming what he did want to do with his life, or at least get positive support from someone who wasn't a rich asshole, it might as well start here.

Eddie beat him to the punch though, because as usual, Eddie was able to track the weird unspoken thing that no one else could pick up on.

"It's the kids, isn't it?" Eddie asked softly. Reverently. "You don't want to leave Hawkins, because of the kids."

Steve took another sip of beer, waving off the joint Gareth offered him. For someone who'd come to smoke he'd barely touched it or the beer, but then no one here would push.

It was pretty obvious, (to Gareth anyway) that the weed had been a flimsy excuse to begin with.

"When those damn kids started trying to trap the--dogs." Steve started, correcting his slip so smoothly Gareth almost didn't pick up that he'd intended to say something else. “I was the only damn adult they could find.”

Steve gave up fiddling with his sweater to tug angrily at his beer tab, twisting and pulling at it.

"They had figured out where the dogs would be. Had an entire meat bucket they wanted to use as bait and but I was the only damn person to try and at least wrangle the little shits. You wanna know how they found me?" He picked up steam now, and Eddie couldn't even be satisfied that he'd managed to hit the nail on the head because clearly whatever was happening here was the actual thing Steve needed to get off his chest.

"Football practice?" Gareth asked mostly to fill in the tension-filled pause, and then ducked from the swat Eddie aimed his way.

Steve blew out a harsh, mocking breath.

"Dustin found me on the way to Nancy's house, where I was planning on apologizing. Had flowers and everything."

Oh.

Steve's tone said a hell of a lot more than that, the raw emotion making Gareth's own stomach roll.

A careful glance showed an equally punched-out expression on Eddie's face, the metalhead having physically reared back like Steve's words had struck him.

"What were you apologizing for?" He asked, recovering faster than Gareth could.

"Honestly man? I don't know." Steve laughed then, a harsh little disbelieving noise. "I just knew Nancy had said--well she said some shit while drunk, and wasn't able to say some shit sober, and I realized after that maybe I--I rushed her or something you know?"

He ran a hand through his hair, a self soothing behavior. "Or that I did, fuck I don't know. She's Nancy Wheeler, she's smarter than me by a longshot, so if she was mad, than I figured I must be at fault." Steve shrugged, like that was a fact of life.

Eddie interrupted immediately. "She's not smarter than you."

"I--what?"

"Nancy isn't smarter than you.' Eddie repeated firmly. "She's booksmart, Stevie. School smart. Nancy Wheeler absolutely owns tests and papers and things you need to study for, and she’s a hell of a researcher--but she's not people smart."

"What?" Steve repeated incredulously and there Gareth caught a flash of bitchy Steve.

The real one, who'd been shoved aside by the apathetic version.

"Have you ever seen that girl get fixated on something? She's tenacious, gets her teeth in and won't let go.” Eddie snapped his teeth, shaking his head while growling like a dog.

Gareth rolled his eyes, but a ghost of a smile graced Steve’s face.

“But she hasn't figured out how that hurts people yet. She's caught up in getting the results. She's not intentionally unkind, she's just--a little out of touch." Eddie flopped back against the couch, making a grabby gesture for the joint Gareth now held. “People like you--”

Here, he poked Steve in the chest, before reaching past him to wave his hand obnoxiously in Gareth’s face for the joint (and get smacked at for the effort) “are people smart.”

"That's not--no." Steve protested head jerking from Eddie's fingers to Eddie's face, but it was weak, his eyes wide as saucers.

"Yes.” Eddie mocked, but it was in jest, proven by the easy, soft smile he gave Steve. “You said it yourself. The kids go to you, man. They go to you even now, when Nancy or Jonathan could be driving them all over town. You get people; how they work, how they tick, what makes them happy or sad, and people are drawn to you because of that.”

“Jonathan drives.” Steve muttered in disagreement.

“And yet we all witnessed the clown car act when all those kids came out of your backseat two weekends ago.” Eddie refuted. “You’re just as smart as Nancy is, Steve. Just in a different way.”

Steve frowned.

“My parents don’t see it like that.”

“Your parents can get fucked, Sweetheart.”

That was pushing it, but Steve didn't comment on the nickname. Never commented on any nicknames Eddie came up with, beyond the occasional eye roll.

Which is right about when the phone rang.

They all glanced towards it, then down at their respective watches.

It was well past midnight.

"Think that's Wayne?" Gareth asked, eyebrows raising as Eddie stood to answer the phone.

His friend just shrugged, before picking up.

"Munson Mortuary, you stab em we slab em." He chirped as he pressed the phone to his ear.

"Tiffy-Taffy isn't it kinda late for--whoa." Eddies easy smile flipped, back going ramrod straight. "Slow down, what happened?" And oh, shit, that was Eddie's "somethings wrong and I'm going to fix it" voice.

Gareth sat up, making sure the joint Eddie had put down was out as he stared worriedly at Eddie.

"Okay. Gareth and Steve are with me, we're all coming." Eddie finished, prompting Steve to also sit up. "Stay there and for the love of God, tell Stewart not to touch anything else."

"What happened." Steve and Gareth demanded as one.

It'd be funny if the look on Eddie's face wasn't so serious.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to break my promise about not going to the lab, Steve." He said, a hand going to tug anxiously at his hair.

"What?" Steve said, immediately on the defensive.

Then; "Why?"

"Because all our darling friends went to the Hawkin's lab without us. Apparently they ran into some kids on the way and now Stewart's stuck in a hole."

“All of them?” Gareth questioned, because sure, yeah he could see Stewart doing it. Could see Grant and even Jeff really, but Tiffany? Out exploring an abandoned lab that had killed people?

On a school night?

"She's gonna give us the full story when we get there, she called from the nearest payphone. Had some kid who kept interrupting her so she just gave me the basics, but apparently Stewart is really stuck, and for some reason the damn kids won't let anyone try to get him from some other door. They keep saying it's not safe or some shit." Eddie's anxious tugging grew as he moved to snatch up his wallet and keys, walking and talking as it were.

Gareth had expected a reaction out of Steve then, but  what he hadn't expected was Steve to surge to his feet in a near panic.

"Kids!?" He shouted, eyes wide and frantic.

Eddie flinched, but Gareth knew immediately what the jock was thinking.

"You don't think they're your feral pack of kids--do you?" He asked.

"It's always them so yes, yes I do." Steve snarled and for the first time that week, the guy looked alive.

Gareth just wished it was under better circumstances.

#steddie #adopt a jock #once again we are discussing Nancy #no hate #plus its an OUTSIDER pov #Nancy does come in later in AaJ but what were seeing is Eddie seeing the fallout of Stoncy or whatever that pairing is called pre s3 #She's a complex character and I like playing with the effect their relationship and general dynamic has on Steve #Steve harrington #eddie munson #gareth emerson #tw drugs #tw weed #tw drinking #(beer) #steve harringtons shitty parents #no one panic eddie does not drive under the influence even if it is the 80s lol #I mention Steve not partaking as much for a reason #lab tiiiime #poor Steve hes havin a go of it #hey we're getting closer to adding Robin!

[raksh-writes]

Im a pent-up ball of pure stress and restlessness (like chest-tight and heart pounding type of stress) and I have 0 idea what to do with myself, because anytime I want to try and go distract myself with Something my anxiety spikes and my brain goes "!!! NO!!! DANGER!!! LOOK OUT FOR DANGER!!!" so I guess I'll just spend the day pacing the house and refreshing the same 3 pages on repeat, huh...

#personal #Raksh posts #tomorrow I'll know if I got back into uni #so that's the culprit #but I also have no way of assuaging it so fuck me I guess 😩 #and depending on if I do or dont get in #its either gonna be a full on depressed crying or a crazy busy next week #plus so much has been happening all around #I finished my internship last friday #we found out our doggo is sick and we're going with her to a vet cardiologist next friday #my younger cousin Ive always been quite close with came to visit with her boyfriend and announced yesterday they got engaged #my bro today said he's planning to marry next year #Im trying not to let my crippling loneliness take me over #it's kinda a lot when all put together 🙈 #I thought maybe I could finish typing up what I have of my recent vegaspete AU #its a super indulgent time travel a/b/o shifterd thingy with outsider pov - Nops in this first part #and so I could maybe have something to finally post sometime soon and motivate me to write some more #but I can't focus on that #Ive also thought of maybe gaming a bit #Id actually like to check out Cyberpunk with this new 2.0 update #but again it feels like anytime I try to occupy myself with something my brain goes into alarm mode ughhh #this stressing business is so useless and unproductive why isnt there a switch to it I could just flip and turn it off?? #ughhhhh anyway #Im just venting dont mind me #hoped putting it down in some way shape or form would help but will it work? prob not 😂😪 #vent #rant

[devondespresso]

ladies and gentlequeers i think im going to add a karen outsider pov bonus/prequel chapter

#devon's steve henderson au #steve henderson au rambles #inspired by my rewatch of s1 and noticing how karens completely in the dark about stancy and calls steves mom #plus some headcanons i have about how they dealt with the trauma and how steve changed his so dramatically in the span of a year #mixed with karen never knocking and now knowing that nancy keeps things from her and even managed to hide loosing her virginity #and only got caught because her best friend went fucking missing #also might not hoard this one until the fics closer to done because its like 100% a prequel and outsider pov will probably need less editing #so maybe a lil taste of this in the series before The Big Fic comes out

[broke-on-books]

✒️ please!!

Send me a ✒️ and I'll pick a poem I think you'd like

After flipping through my notebooks I decided to go with my first instinct for you, which was "A Toast to the Alchemists" by Laura Gilpin. This poem hasn't been published online officially, so they're aren't a ton of sites that have it that I could find with a quick Google search. However I've attatched photos of a reddit post with it along with my version in my journal.

I picked this poem because of its themes of time and the passage of time, as well as magic and giving emotional significance to the most mundane and clinical of things (atoms and elements). In other words, taking magic from the world around us, especially through a lens usually seen as lacking wonder or whimsy. Also vibes, I mainly did it based on vibes.

Some other poems I considered in my search/additional recommendations are listed under the cut:

If you liked the writing of this poem, and haven't read it already (or have) I definitely recommend "The Two-Headed Calf" by Laura Gilpin. It's by the same author and is her most famous poem and is fairly well known and also soooooo good. So good.

Poems with similar themes:

Poems with similar themes to "A Toast to the Alchemists" are

"Dusting" by Marilyn Nelson 💘 (literally cried to this. To be fair it was 10 minutes after I finished the HDM finale so it was mainly because of that but still. Great poem.)

"The Sciences Sing a Lullabye" by Albert Goldbarth

"Ozymandias" by Percy Bysshe Shelley (90% sure you've read this one its the time theme but inverted and it's great if you haven't)

Rejected picks/Poems that gave me Anu vibes (many for no particular reason):

Poems by Ted Kooser for some reason??? NO idea why they're very different from the ones above but some of my faves are "Selecting a Reader", "In a Country Cemetery in Iowa", "The Constellation Orion" and "Flying by Night" (I'm v much questioning this pick now but I'll keep it up here just in case)

Honestly a bunch of random unrelated stuff was popping out at me ("Listen" by Miller Williams, "Cartoon Physics, Part 1" by Nick Flynn, "Snow" by David Berman) and like a million billion more which I all got from the same anthology (Poetry 180, edited by Billy Collins) so if you want to read a bunch more poetry, based on vibes alone, I'd say look for the book, the website, or the sequel. The poems from that book aren't too similar to the one above but it's really one of two books I generally recommend people right off the bat (it was my lit teachers favorite lol) because it's meant to get young adults and teens into poetry and introduce contemporary poetry in general. Idk how much poetry you've read whatever but even if you aren't new to it it's still a good compilation of late 90s/early 00s poetry that makes you think but isn't super long/totally incomprehensible

Anyways that got WAY longer than I anticipated or anyone probably wanted but poetry is an obsession of mine and recommending poetry is much more complicated and harder that it looks, even for the people you know best in the whole world AFTER interviewing their opinions on poetry, not to mention how difficult it would be for internet friends on tumblr. But anyways there's a couple poems, I got the vibes as close as I could with the poems I had on file. (Although i do feel like I'm missing something big 🤔) Anyways thanks for the ask Anu! Hope you thought my pick was alright!

#and please for the love of god dont feel pressured to read ANYTHING on here i spend hours and hours reading poems so when i rattle off names #like that its very much me bouncing along like a frog eating skittles hopping from poem to poem to poem #based on vague vibes and feelings #also also also i already knew this when i made this ask game BUT. recommending poetry is like trying to juggle with your eyes closed because #you just KNOW you just KNOW there is a group of perfect fall in love poems out there but theres a million factors you have to take into #account to find them. like theres theme theres rhyme theres rhythm theres style theres readability/directness #and you have to try and predict someones opinions on all of that while also trying to gauge their level of patience on topics like #age of poem clarity use of standard language and spelling experimental features and line breaks #when a use of any of those they dont like can turn them off a poem entirely #like we were asoue fans together so youd probably like something with ambiguity and could tolerate a more classical look #BUT then comes in the length factor and also a bit clarity plus we have to remember theme and i cant think of any poems that fit that idea #with a theme you would like that i would feel comfortable recommending (because some poems are good but also difficult) #and i LOVE difficult poems theyre my besties but i always hate them during the first 3 reads at least and who has time for that if you dont #have poetry brain disease like i do #anyways. thats a very long way of saying. i tricked you into asking me to ramble abt poetry mwahahahahahahaha #also if anyone out there feels like theyre someone who rambles a lot about their interests to others and can at times feel a little guilty #abt that the poem “To The Sea” by Anis Mojgani talks a bit about that from an outsider pov #blah #poetry tag #answered #jacobsnicket

[gotholdladywithadhd]

Unpopular opinion, probably.

So I've read many metas, and thought a lot about it and have come to my own personal conclusion about the final 15.

I'm taking it at face value.

Because it was the most human Crowley and Aziraphale have probably ever been and I think that is at least part of the point. Love makes people stupid and they are navigating a very human thing in very unhuman circumstances, and it's hard enough to do as a human in human circumstances!

I think Aziraphale believed the Metatron about Crowley bc he was expecting the worst when TM mentioned Crowley but instead got the one thing he wanted most (him and Crowley together and safe, not Crowley being an angel. ) Crowley was absolutely the carrot here. (and no I do not think Crowley would have been safe or happy, but that's besides the point.) I can't tell you how many times I've believed patently ridiculous things because I wanted to believe them so badly even though if I was looking at the same situation objectively from an outside POV I would see how ridiculous it was, so I totally get it. This isn't to say I think Azi had a real choice to go to Heaven or not and I think he did understand that as well, but I get the temptation the Metatron threw out to him, I really do.

As for Aziraphale literally saying all the wrong things to try and get Crowley to come with him? Um yeah been there done that too, the nerves take over, the brain shuts off, the mouth goes into autopilot pulling stuff out its ass, and "WITAF did I just say?" happens.

Crowley not taking any of it well and only hearing what he expected to hear (I'm not good enough for you bc I'm a demon and you only really want me if I can be an angel) *and* also being more able to see through heavens bullshit bc he has lived it, and can see it from the outside, *and* all whilst being the most honest and vulnerable he has ever been with Aziraphale in 6,000 plus years (or in fact possibly to anyone, ever. the closest before this admitting he was lonely to Azi during the Job minisode,) *then* hearing what he took to be the same Heaven will save us line from Azi was enough to trigger a massive bout of RSD and a broken heart. Everything was supposed to "vavoom and sorted! " and instead the stupid awning broke and everything went wrong. I think I've said it before that at this point Crowley can't hear anything over the sound of his heart breaking into a million pieces.

That's a whole lot to pack into the brief moments before Azi has to leave with the Metatron (who let's be honest was rushing him before he could change his mind) esp when neither of them are used to discussing their relationship openly. They didn't have time to think, to ask questions, to share information, (like hey guess what really happened to Gabriel?) Crowley tried to communicate as much as he could about his feelings with the kiss but Azi didn't have the time to properly process all that and said the wrong thing again and Crowley was rejected (he thought) again and it all just went so very wrong. You can't fix a 6,000 year relationship in 15 minutes, you just can't no matter what the story books say.

It's about two people wanting the same thing but not being able to get it (yet) because of circumstances and personalities. All of S2 was about them seeming to be closer than ever (and in many ways they were) but really they were opposed at almost every turn. (in RL not the minisodes, those actually showed them working together and coming out okay mostly, if you don't count wee Morag or Crowley getting dragged to hell) The way they both handled the Gabriel situation, how they both worked to solve the mystery, even how they tried to make Nina and Maggie fall in love were all either done alone, or in opposite ways. I've said it before and I'll say it again, as it was pointed out right in ep1, their exactlies aren't the same and until they are, they aren't going to be able to be together. The one time they did work together in the season, they produced a 25 lazuri miracle. That is the point of the final 15, and the whole season 2 in my opinion.

They'll get there in the end though!

#aziracrow #aziraphale loves crowley #crowley loves aziraphale #crowphale #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #aziraphale x crowley #aziraphale good omens #crowley x aziraphale #neil gaiman #anthony j crowley #crowley good omens #gomens #good omens 2 #az fell #ineffable spouses #final 15 #final fifteen #good omens meta #the final fifteen #aziracrow good omens

[dear-bunnyboo]

can I request a Joe x Model!reader where they are secretly dating and she will be walking at the VS Fashion show and since they are a secret, Joe is watching the show live at home with his friends and they are teasing him 💕

it would be such a cute idea!!

more Joey B one shot request for you cuties!! (this is mainly Joe's pov!) you can also continue sending me request if you guys want to, my request box is always open 🤍

𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 || 𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐖

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Joe Burrow x Model!Reader

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Your secret boyfriend watches you as you walk the biggest runway of your life.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: fluff, cursing, teasing, tension?, nerves, secret relationship

𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐜. 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 || 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Joe's leg was bouncing up and down, seemingly his leg had a mind of its own— Joe looked fine on the outside, his calm and stoic demeanor was a normal look on him. However, to people who actually knew him in a personal level would know how nervous the quarterback was— plus his leg bouncing up and down kinda gives it away.

It was a crisp evening, and Joe was at home with his closest friends; Ja'Maar, Tee, Tyler, and Sam who were all surrounding him on the couch as they loudly conversed among themselves. As Joe sits with his closest friends in the dimly lit living room, He can hardly contain his excitement— Joe invited his closest friends over for the night not just to hang out and as much as he enjoyed their hang outs this was something entirely different. They were all gathered to support you who they have grown close to from dating Joe.

The moment Joe's been eagerly waiting for is about to unfold— the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, a glittering spectacle, is the platform for you, Joe's secret girlfriend, the woman who has captured his heart. Joe can feel the nerves dancing in his stomach as he anticipated the start of the iconic runway.

The quarterback does not have a lot of knowledge when it comes to runway or modeling but after meeting you, he had learned the different terms and technicalities— he has also learned how important walking this runway is for a model's career. This was not your first time walking the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show but it was the first time you'll be walking with Joe watching, now as your boyfriend.

You and Joe have been dating for almost a year now— a year you two managed to keep your relationship under wraps from the public eye. Joe being the star quarterback of the Bengals and you being one of the most coveted supermodels in that field— people are expected to talk. So when you two finally made it official, you decided that it was better for the meantime to keep your relationship just between the two of you— well, except for a few exceptions; that being both your families and closest friends.

The same friends who are staring at the TV in front of them while they teasingly nudged Joe, as the TV projected a glittery pink display;

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓥𝓲𝓬𝓽𝓸𝓻𝓲𝓪’𝓼 𝓢𝓮𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓽 𝓕𝓪𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓢𝓱𝓸𝔀

Written on the screen as a countdown started playing below it, showcasing that there was only three minutes until the shows begins.

Despite his nerves, Joe couldn't help but let out a grin form his face as they continued tease him. As the countdown reaches sixty seconds, his friends took it upon themselves to start counting down— they were now on their feet, counting down the numbers on the top of their lungs as if it was New Years while they teasingly circled around Joe like a bunch of idiots as he would put it in his head.

"3! 2!.. 1!"

A hush fell within them as the once pink glittery display disappeared, moving onto the iconic opening introduction that showcased the glittery runway where a bunch of people were surrounding; from actors, actresses, and the likes.

Joe couldn't help but feel envious of them— he wanted to be there physically with you and watch but his circumstances hinders him from doing so... next year, he swears silently to himself in his head.

As they all finally settled in back on the couch in front of the TV, Joe couldn't help but feel a mixture of pride, anxiety, and a strange blend of vulnerability. His friends were his confidants, the ones who'd been with him since the start of this incredible journey in the NFL. But now, they were all here with him supporting his girl.

A loud bang of music started playing, Bruno Mars walked out greeting the audience as his song 24K Magic started playing— this instantly made his friends jump up to their feet as they bopped and danced to the beat. As the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show began and the first models graced the runway, Joe watched with bated breath. The anticipation was palpable, and he couldn't help but feel a rush of emotions. His girlfriend, the woman he cherished above all, was among the models preparing to walk. Joe knew she was out there, and the pride he felt was overwhelming.

Joe, however, tried to remain composed on his seat, silently sipping on his drink on hand as he bopped his head up and down to the beat, the models started walking out one by one— walking to the beat as Ja'Maar started praising each and every one of them.

"God Damn!" he playfully melted on the spot as he grabbed his chest earning a chorus of laughs from them including Joe who shook his head at his friends shenanigans.

The show continued, and the atmosphere in the room was charged with anticipation— they were all waiting for you to come out. The models sashayed down the runway, and with each passing moment, the teasing from his friends intensified. They now started to chant your name inches from his face as Joe let them, his eyes solely on the screen waiting for you to walk out.

And once you did— pandemonium.

As you stepped out, a shimmering vision of grace and beauty, Joe couldn't help but gasp. You were breathtaking, you walked out wearing a red lingerie partnered with huge red wings that you wore with pride. You were radiant and confident, walked out sparkling under the runway lights. You were breathtaking, an ethereal presence, and his friends gasped in awe. The angel wings adorning you like a celestial being. Your radiant smile and confident stride captivated everyone, just as they had captivated Joe from the very beginning.

"Joey B!" Sam cheered while nudging him with his shoulders.

“Damn, Joe!” Tee hollered to himself,l not long before winking at the quarterback.

Joe remained aghast as he gawked at your figure strutting down the runway with a flirty look on your face— enjoying your time on camera. You were amazing, a natural at what you do. You had the most beautiful smile on your face that made Joe feel like melting on the spot— the quarterback was so focused on you that his friends teasing remarks sounded like white noise to him. All his senses were solely focused on you and only you— he was immensely proud of his girl.

A mixture of pride and awe washed over him as you glided down the runway. Your elegance and poise were unmatched, and you held the audience, and him, in the palm of your hand. It was a moment of profound beauty, watching the woman he loved shine on a iconic stage.

Joe's heart swelled with affection, and for a brief moment, the world disappeared. It was just him and you, connected through a screen, and he couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with love and admiration. Joe applauded and cheered along with the audience and his friends as your walk concluded, Joe celebrated with pride and joy. You were extraordinary, and he was grateful to share in this moment of your incredible success.

dividers: @cafekitsune

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @jackkyhughes @h0e4fictionalme-n @queenmendes @rd14 @scoobydoopoo @estapa94 @karmasabitchybitch @literaturelustrr @toterry @fangirl-madz @atticusismybae @stargaryenx @haydee5010 @porter113 @ryiamarie @starrgir1 @flwries @slafgoalskybaby @unsaidjaelinrose @in-my-body-bag @cixrosie @siutforjjmaybank @youn-jo @nobystanderz @bb-swift @buckystwilight @kidrauhlakaperf @kkrenae @catswag22 @hustler-sinner @asparklysoul @kaydesssssssss @97bngchn @dunningz @whiteleoqueen @austinswhitewolf @wickedfun9

ೃ⁀➷ comment or message me to be added to the tag list :)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ SUBMIT A REQUESTS AND ASK ME ANYTHING!

: ̗̀➛ requests are always open ♡

-𝐛𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲ఌ

#joe burrow #joe burrow x reader #dear bunnyboo🏹 #cincinnati bengals #joe burrow x y/n #joe burrow bengals #joe shiesty #joey b #joe brrr #joe burrow x you #joey burrow #joe burrow x oc #nfl #nfl imagine #nfl fan fic #nfl fluff #nfl smut #requests #fic request #request

[lizzieislife94x]

The Babysitter (w.m)

Wanda maximoff x G!P reader 

Legal age gap reader is just say 22

If you don't like the g!p let me know what you want to read. 

Y/Ns POV:

"Oh don't worry about it miss maximoff the boys are asleep you don't have to rush home everything is fine here" I reassure the older woman "ok ill see you when you get home have fun" I laugh as I hang up to hide the pain, you see the woman who I babysit for is so fucking sexy and when she leaves lingering touches on my arm or leans a little to close for a little to long it's so hard to control my little friend downstairs I don't think she's noticed, I'm kinda bummed though because she's on a date since she lost her husband a while back she's decided to get back into the dating world, I've been her go to Babysitter since i was 19 almost 20 and she needed a little help plus it helped me save money for when I travel the world, I decide to sneak up to her room and lay in her bed just to feel a little closer to her the pillow smells like her and it brings comfort to me.

 2 hours later

"Y/n hey y/n" I wake up slowly with what sounds like miss Maximoffs voice fuck I fell asleep on the couch, after a second the fear kicks in and my eyes shoot open oh fuck "miss Maximoff I'm sooo sorry I was uh looking for a pacifier for tommy I must have sat down and fell asleep I uh oh god I'm sorry" I rant while looking anywhere bar the redhead infront of me "y/n calm down its ok I get it the boys can be tirering it's OK honey" I sigh in relief and sit up getting off the bed "can I do anything before I leave ?" I ask my boss "could you help me with the laundry please it's been a rough day the guy I went on a date with total douchbag can you believe he wouldn't accept no for an answer I almost had to punch him luckily the manager came to the rescue" she let's out a deep sigh and looks at me with a sad smile

"of course miss Maximoff anything I can do to help ill gladly help" as I finish my sentence she winches in pain and I take a step towards her "miss Maximoff are you ok? what's wrong do I need to call someone" she giggles and rests her hand on my arm "you're sweet it's nothing its just I need to pump I haven't done it all day and they are extremely sore and sensitive so could you be a doll and hand me the pump please" I feel my face heat up instantly fuck I'm so dumb I fumble around grabbing the breast pump and hand it to her "I uh ill wait outside let me know when your done" I walk outside the bedroom and close the door fuck I'm such a idiot of course she had to pump so stupid y/n I giggle quietly after 5 minutes I hear a angry sounding Wanda and a thump I automatically run inside not thinking "hey are you woahhhhh" I instantly turn and trip still covering my eyes "awwh fuck that hurt are you ok miss Maximoff I heard a bang and thought something happened?" I hear her giggle and feel her eyes on me "y/n for the millionth time it's wanda and you don't have to hide it's just boobs you have them it's not like you've not seen boobs before" her giggle gets louder and I stand up and turn trying to keep my eyes on her but I won't lie I did stare at her tits they where huge and so fucking perfect

"I uh is there's anything I can do to help you miss Maximoff " she shakes her head and looks at me "unless your one of my 2 years who's awake at this time in the morning and hungry for milk then no" as the words left her mouth my not so little friend downstairs decided to wake up as I raised my eyebrow not realising my bulge was visible "wait y/n did you like the idea of drinking my milk", she says with a flirtatious tone "I uhhhh" I can't find the words to speak as she walks towards me walking around me slowly and leaning down to whisper in my ear "your little friend down there is giving you away if you want to taste mommy's milk just say so it would be a big help to my poor sore and sensitive tits" I let out a moan and nod unable to speak "words y/n words" I gulp and clear my throat "I.. I wanna taste your milk" she laughs somethings  missing honey "I want to taste your milk mommy"

fuck that was strangely a turn on "come here honey"she sits on the bed and tells me to lay in her lap and I do as she says Holy fuck this is happening I see her perfect tits tight in my face and latch my lips around her nipple and start sucking waiting for the sweet taste of her milk "oh fuck oh fuck" she breaths out rubbing my face "so good honey that feels so good your doing so well" I smirk and suck harder draining the milk from her left tit as she moans above me I switch to her right nipple and start sucking till there's nothing left my cock has never been harder "that was like nothing I've ever experienced the pleasure was so intense" she confesses rubbing my cheek "if you ever need help again please please let me do that because your milk was so fucking good" I blush I stand up and turn to try and fix my solid member fuck I'm gonna bust so hard when I get home "y/n please don't try and hide from me do you think I haven't noticed all the boners you've had around me" I turn and look at her in shock fuck I thought she didn't notice "fuck" is all I can manage "why do you think I said no to the creep that took me on a date because I didn't want his cock coming anywhere near me the only cock I want is yours" Holy shit wait when did she get naked my eyes instantly travel her body as I bite my lip "fuck Wanda youre so sexy" I walk over crashing my lips against hers sliding my tounge into her mouth as she undresses me how did she get my clothes off so quick "fuck" she states looking down at my little friend standing at attention "you're fucking huge y/n" I gently push her on the bed and she spreads her legs I automatically lean down and lick a strip from her entrance to her clit taking it into my mouth and sucking harshly earning loud moans from the redhead I kitten lick her till her legs are shaking and sit up crawling over her letting my dick tease  her entrance "fuck y/n just fuck me already I need you inside me I need you till fill me" she begs and I do as I'm told I slide my dick past her entrance and groan and the sensation fuck she's so fucking tight I start to thrust hard and fast looking deep into her eyes "fuck Wanda youre so fucking tight your taking my cock so well" I moan as does she and the marks my back is gonna have totally worth it though I continue fucking her tight cunt at  an ungodly speed as I feel the coil building I slam a few more times as I feel my cum shooting deep inside her cunt "fuckkkk Wanda" I moan loudly as she cums at the same time I slow my thrusts to help us both ride out our orgasms as I slide out of her and she moans at the movement I lay on my back trying to breath properly "Holy fuck that was amazing " I giggle and she looks at me in shock "y/n are you still hard how the fuck is that possible " I hide my face and giggle "because my little friend likes you alot and you make it stand at attention " she bites her lip and smirks "fuck" is all she managed to say 

 AN: not sure how I feel about this lactating kink I've read stuff like this never wrote it tho so let me know what you think.......again just trying new stuff lmaoooooo word count almost 1.5k  (update since i wrote this last year i very much do enjoy writing the lactating kink its hot, sue me lmao remember drink water and stay hydrated babes)

#elizabeth olsen #lizzie olsen #fanfic #marvel mcu #mcu fanfiction #oneshot #smut #wattpad #lizzieislife94x #wandavision #wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #mommy wanda #wanda x you #wanda marvel #wanda mcu #wanda maximommy #wanda maxmoff x y/n #wanda smut

[roachsauce]

hey. hey. go read mando’jekai jedi by anonymous on ao3

literally the best feemor tropes all in one fic, and its jaster/feemor canon divergence

plus many funny outsider pov scenes and lots of banter

(i’ve only known orar for one chapter, but if anything happened to him i’d kill everyone in this room and then myself)

#star wars #feemor #jaster mereel #true mandalorians #fanfic #my art #love fics where jedi are cryptids that leave everybody confused #feemors a menace in this #when the mando falls first but thr jedi falls harder… immaculate #(i mean… feemor hasn’t fallen yet but by the latest authors note… soon 🙏)

[feelbokkie]

Sorry, I Love You | Chapter 5

pairing: Jeongin x fem reader

genre/warnings: smau, crack, angst, fluff, non!idol au, friends to lovers, unrequited love, will they, won’t they dynamic, abusive relationship, alcohol abuse/alcoholism, emotional/psychological abuse

pov: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)

warnings: swearing, domestic violence (nobody's putting hands on anyone though), toxic relationship, suggestive if you squint, mention of blood

summary: Jeongin is in love with his best friend and he has been ever since he met her back in high school. He’s not sure how Y/n feels about him and in order to persevere their friendship, it’s a secret he keeps to himself. But when Y/n starts showing interest in one of their new neighbors, Jeongin starts to worry about the future of their relationship.

taglist: CLOSED

word count: 2,948

screenshot count: 19 (plus one 1 video at the end)

previous | masterlist | next

©feelbokkie (2024) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

Knock, knock, knock

You stand outside Soobin's apartment, waiting for someone to open the door. You have a key. He gave it to you ages ago when he and the other boys moved. He never asked for it back, even when you two were on breaks. Even then, you've only ever used it when one of them accidentally locked themselves out. You didn't feel comfortable enough letting yourself in even though your boyfriend lived there. Maybe part of you was being considerate of Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Kai's privacy. But another part of you was scared of what you might find one day.

"Do you know how late it is--" The door jerks open to reveal an annoyed Yeonjun. "...Oh...Y/n..."

His face softens when his eyes meet yours. You can only imagine what's going through his head, you know what's going through yours. The picture. What everyone is thinking of you. You hardly had any peace on the bus ride over, you felt like everyone's eyes were on you. Like they saw the picture too.

Yeonjun slightly leans against the doorframe. His hand is firm on the door, ready to slam it shut again. His hair a tousled mess pulled in different directions. The oversized grey zip-up hoodie swallows his slender frame. Part of the jacket slips off his shoulder, revealing the strap of the white tank top he's wearing underneath. His lower lip is red and raw. He's probably been nervously chewing on it for hours. A habit you know he's been trying to break.

"Hey, Junnie." You finally let out. "Is Soobin home?"

Yeonjun pulls the door closer to his body, closing any gap that you might try to squeeze your way through. "Yeah, but you shouldn't be here right now."

"You saw the picture," Your voice cracks. It's less of a question and more of a confirmation. You already know he did. His body language is enough of a giveaway. His face is as red as a stoplight, glowing in the soft porch light. His eyes dart around in all sorts of directions, begging to look at anything other than you.

"I'm sorry..." The red in his face slowly drifts down to his neck.

"I need to talk to him." You shift your weight onto your other leg.

"That's really not a good idea. We're handling it though. Gyu is looking for Soobin's room key so--"

"You can't even look at me right now, Yeonjun. I need to talk to him myself. He blocked me on everything so I have to do it in person."

Yeonjun's eyes finally snap to your face, almost like a spell. "I understand that, and I am sorry but I really don't think you should be here--"

"Yeonjun! Please," You ball your hands into tight fists, your nails digging into your palms as you try to keep yourself from crying. You can feel the all-too-familiar sting stab the back of your eyes.

"...He's been drinking, Y/n." He says softly, almost as if he's talking to a child. Your breath hitches in your throat for a moment. You're not sure if it's the scream you've been holding in since you saw the picture trying to make its way out or a sudden panicked and frustrated scream. Either way, you don't like it.

"I don't care. That picture is still up and more people are seeing it and my life is being ruined very quickly. If you don't let me in to talk to him, I'm going to scream and--"

"Fine," Yeonjun pauses for a moment before moving out of the frame and holding it wide open for you. "You can come in, just...just don't lock the door. Hell, leave it open, we won't listen."

You slightly nod your head at Yeonjun, a silent 'thank you' as you walk into the apartment. The atmosphere is immediately off. You don't hear the distant screams of Beomgyu from his room that you've become accustomed to. Or the noise from Kai making a snack in the kitchen. Yeonjun isn't on the couch playing a game with Beomgyu pestering him nearby. The TV is on and paused on a show that Taehyun and Yeonjun started the last time you were over.

You walk towards the bedrooms, hearing the hushed bickering between Kai and Beomgyu and the faint jingling of keys. As you walk closer, you find Beomgyu kneeling in front of the doorknob, a key ring in his hand. Kai is hunched over Beomgyu's shoulder telling him to try different keys while Taehyun is leaning against his bedroom door, watching his roommates argue with a frown etched onto his face.

"See, I told you to try that one first," Kai lets out a sigh of relief.

"I know, I know, now shut up before I redirect my anger," Beomgyu stands up and stretches, his shirt lifting a little.

Taehyun kicks himself off the wall and walks to the door. He pauses when catches a glimpse of you from the corner of his eye. "Y/n? You really shouldn't..."

You don't notice, but Yeonjun shakes his head, telling him to drop it. All three of the boys quietly step back, their worried eyes fall on your bad. Or maybe they're judging you. They saw the picture too. Their image of you is forever tainted.

You've never liked attention. It's why you prefer being behind the camera instead of in front of it. Being with Soobin, you've slowly gotten used to the attention. Of the peering eyes that the drama you two lived in attracted. How, when you two are fighting, everyone speaks carefully around you and their eyes watch you intently. Or how, when you two are together, they can't help their judgmental glares. But this, this is going to be different. You know that some, if not all of your friends aren't even going to be able to look at you. You're not entirely sure if that's going to be any better.

You push Soobin's bedroom door open and slowly walk in. The air in his room cool on your skin. Soobin rests against the headboard of his bed. The speaker you got him for his birthday 3 years ago loudly plays a song from a local band the two of you saw a couple of years ago. He ended up liking their music more than you did. His eyes are closed as it slowly bobs along to the music, the neck of a bottle of beer sits loosely in his hand. His eyes shoot open as you close the door. "Y/n? Here for another photoshoot?"

"I need you to delete the picture." You say firmly.

"Hm?" Soobin sits up, adjusting the light blue beanie on his head with his free hand. "Why?"

"What do you mean why? You know exactly why." Unsure what to do with your hands, you cross your arms.

"Nothing's showing. Your face is barely in it. It could be anyone." He waves off before taking another sip of his drink, spilling a little on his oversized white t-shirt.

"That's why you tagged me right?" You take a deep breath and look up at the ceiling to calm yourself, only to be met with your reflection.

Soobin throws his head back, letting out a deep hearty laugh before focusing his attention back on you. "You get on my ass because I don't post pictures of you and now you're getting on my ass because I did. I can't win!"

"I meant like a cute picture of me or hell, even an ugly candid. Not me--" You quickly press your lips together, trying to remain calm. You know that arguing with Soobin when he's drunk is pointless. You just want him to take the photo down. "Look, just take the fucking picture down."

“Why?" Soobin gets up from his bed and slowly walks towards you. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and searches for something. "Scared your other boyfriend might see it? Oh, looks like he already saw it. One of your other friends took a screenshot, wanna see who? Guess I have to look out for him too.”

You push his hand away as he tries to show you the engagement on his story. “I don't have another boyfriend and you know that."

"Do I?" He cocks his head to the side, he can hardly hide the smirk creeping up on his face.

You used to love the mischievous smirk that would sneak onto his face. It always preceded a bad idea which was followed by a wink. It's how you two ended up together. You didn't see past his angel-like looks when he asked 'Do you wanna get out of here?' You spent your second Friday in South Korea exploring the nightlife of Seoul. It's how you ended up with a tattoo in a place where only Soobin knows. And how you spent one of your breaks in the countryside with Soobin instead of going home. It's how you ended up letting Soobin take that picture in the first place.

"What do you want?" Your voice strains as you try to fight back the sob threatening to come out. "Do you want me to beg you to take it down?”

Soobin gently places his hand on your face and caresses your cheek with his thumb. The pads of his fingers are rough on your skin. "You always do look the prettiest on your knees."

"Are you doing this to get back at me or something?" Your voice finally cracks, your eyes sting from the all-too-familiar pricks.

Don't cry.

"What am I doing?" Soobin almost looks concerned as he wipes a traitorous tear from your cheek.

Having enough, you push Soobin's hand away from you. "You posted that picture of me knowing that everyone would see it. You constantly accuse me of cheating when I'm the only one who has been faithful the entire time."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nico," You cross your arms across your chest.

"Who the fuck is Nico?"

"Great, you don't even know the name of the person you're cheating on me with." You mutter under your breath. "The girl you've been sleeping with since the summer."

"Oh, that? I never slept with her while we were together."

"But you did sleep with her,"

"When we were on a break or broken up or whatever the fuck, yeah. It’s not cheating."

“That’s not the issue. I asked you if you were with anyone else while we were apart and you said 'no.'”

"I say a lot of things."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

You're not sure why you asked. Your mind is already second-guessing everything he's ever said to you. Every 'I love you.' Every apology. Every promise. Every secret. Hell, he even told you that the pictures he took would be for his eyes only. You're not sure which ones are true and which ones are lies. If there are even any truths.

"Hm, I wonder?" Soobin walks back to his bed and finally lowers the music.

"That's great, Soobin," You laugh because that's all you can do. If you don't laugh, you'll cry and the last thing you want is for Soobin to see you cry. "You know what, keep the picture up, I'm sure it's already made its way around the university. Post the rest of them. Fuck whoever you want, I don't care. I'm done and I'm tired."

Soobin lets out a loud laugh that sends a chill down your spine. You want to turn and leave, but something is stopping you.

"Okay, Y/n. Go ahead and break up with me, again. And then go talk shit about me to your friend before going and sleeping with one of your many guy friends--"

"I've never once given you a reason to think that I cheated on you when you've given me thousands. And I can promise you, I'm the only one defending you--"

"Don't lie to me! Did you defend me when you went out with Yeji and let her text me like that? What about when you showed up late to--"

"I really am done with you, I can't deal with you when you're like this." You turn to finally leave the room, your hand on the cool brass door knob.

Crash!

Your body freezes and turns cold as your eyes slowly inch to the wet spot on the wall. Your eyes trail down to the floor where there is now a puddle of beer and shattered glass. You've never been more grateful that Soobin is bad at sports. Two inches to the left and that bottle would have hit your head.

"Don't turn your back to me when I'm talking to you!"

Unsure of what else to do, you slink down to the ground and begin to pick up the pieces of glass from the floor. You bite down your quivering bottom lip as you swallow back sobs. You can't hear anything else beyond your sniffling, your eyes trained on the clear glass. You don't flinch as you accidentally cut your hand on one of the sharper shards. The whiplash of the past couple of hours clouding your mind. You're exhausted and slightly scared of leaving. If Soobin was willing to throw something at you, who knows what else he might do? You should have listened to Yeonjun and gone home, it would have been easier to deal with a sober Soobin than a drunk one.

"Hey, hey Y/n, put that down." Yeonjun kneels beside you and gently takes your hand.

"If I don't then..." Your voice trails off, you're not sure what argument you had.

"It's okay. The guys got it. C'mon, let's take care of your hand...and your cheek." Yeonjun carefully takes the glass out of your hand and helps you up as you touch the wet spot on your cheek that you thought was beer only to be met with blood. You follow behind as he leads you out of the room. You catch a quick glimpse of Beomgyu taking Soobin's phone out of his hands.

***

After patching your hand up and putting a bandaid on your cheek, Yeonjun drove you home. The drive was quiet as you looked out the window the whole time. You could tell that Yeonjun had something he wanted to say the whole time, but he kept his mouth shut. You only mumbled out a thank you and a small smile before you walked into your apartment.

Click

You press your back against the front door and slide to the ground, your body too tired to move anymore. You rest your head on your knees as you pull your phone out of your pocket. Your lock screen is littered with texts and missed calls from friends and classmates. You roll your swollen eyes as you unlock your phone and go to your contacts.

You steady your breathing as your thumb hovers over Jeongin's number, the top number in your favorites. It's nearly one in the morning. On a normal night, Jeongin would be asleep. He's one of the few people in your group who goes to bed at a decent time. You don't want to wake him up, but you need to hear his voice right now.

Bring, bring, bring

You hold the phone to your ear as you tuck your head back in between your knees. The monotone ringing is almost calming as you wait for him to pick up. You wish he was here with you now. Or that Yeonjun dropped you off at his house. But the last thing you want is it getting back to Soobin and giving him another reason to accuse you of something that you would never do. You don't see Jeongin as more than a friend. He's the one person you managed to get close to your entire time in the country. Sure, you love your other friends but there's a bond that you share with Jeongin that you don't seem to have with everyone else.

"Y/n?" Jeongin's tired voice asks on the other end. It's warm and soothing and somehow everything you need right now.

You stay silent, trying to keep calm. You know that the second he hears your crying, he's going to make his way over to you and the last thing you want is to have him see you with raccoon eyes and a bandaid on your face and jump to conclusions. You're not even sure you can look him in the eyes after that picture got out.

"Y/n?" You hear him moving around in the back, his voice slightly panicked. "Y/n, what's wrong?"

You want to just tell him that everything is wrong. That you and Soobin got into another fight and that you had to break up with him for good this time. That you know Soobin has more pictures on his phone and you're scared that he might end up posting them. That your hand and cheek hurt and are throbbing underneath the ointment and bandaids. How loud the heavy pounding in your head is right now and how heavy your heart feels in your chest. How you know that you're going to hear a chorus of 'I told you so's and looks of pity from all of your other friends. How you want nothing more than to be home, home with your parents and older brother. How you don't want to be alone right now.

You wipe the tears pouring down your face like a leaky faucet with your free hand. Your throat quickly becomes sore and dry as a sob settles in your chest just from the concern in Jeongin's voice. "My heart hurts,"

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

Taglist

Red means that it wouldn't let me tag you (either at all or properly)

@amyyscorner @jiisungllvr @marked-unknown @veedoesntknaur @nuronhe @lixie-phobia @yongbbokkie @f9clementine @kibs-and-bits @jihanlovic @puppysmileseungmin @jaydebow @kangaracharacha @lilcutieana @lanatheawesome @everglowdaisies @babrieeee @sunshinessky @szkstay @aslou @weird-bookworm @autumn-lv @ismelllikechlorine247 @stay278 @wolfennracha @tesywesy @mmmsvnts

#feelbokkie writes #silu smau #stray kids #skz #stray kids smau #skz smau #chan #bangchan #bang chan #lee know #minho #lee minho #changbin #seo changbin #i.n smau #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #han #jisung #han jisung #felix #yongbok #lee felix #lee yongbok #lee felix yongbok #seungmin #kim seungmin #i.n #jeongin

[starlvenus]

Old friends

warnings! none :p sam winchester x gn!reader summary: Sam winchester's hunt wasn't going well.. leading him to a diner where he would reunite with an old friend from Stanford. __

Sam wasn't having a good day so far.. Everything he and Dean were doing for this hunt was all thrown out the window, all of their research was wrong, only because someone gave them a fake tip, leading them to think it was a whole different monster.

The most mundane diner was ahead; the red sign on the roof shined brightly.

Sam sighed pushing the door open, the overhead bell chiming loudly as he entered. The smell of coffee fills his nostrils, only momentarily distracting him from his chaotic day. 

His eyes scanned the menu, picking out what he would order, Burgers, Fries, and of course, pie for dean. His eyes narrow slightly as he tries to find a healthier option for himself.

He orders pretty quickly, shooting the waitress a small smile after he finishes. He shuffles in the seat trying to find a comfortable position.

His eyes observe the patrons in the diner. An elderly couple chatting over some coffee, a group of young teenagers, that's when he sees a familiar set of headphones, the sides adorned with those "nerdy" stickers, a nostalgic reminder to his time back at Stanford. Sam couldn't help but watch discreetly, taking in their new look, shorter hair, different style, yet his eyes were drawn onto that same bag.. His eyes scanned its pins and keychains seeing the small cat pin he had gifted was still there. Sitting in the spot he chose, nudged between a video game pin, and a movie pin.

Sam sat there contemplating whether to approach, doubt lingered in Sam's mind. Slightly remembering the times he and Dean were thrown onto tv screens..

readers pov I guess it was a pretty nice day.. I have a day off from work and nothing has gone wrong yet. The diner was pretty small and it had decent food, plus everything I've been drawing hasn't turned to shit! 

I got my pencil case out, taking out a few colours, a light blue, pink, yellow, green and a teal. I almost instantly start to colour in the little sketch, layering the colours randomly. My head bobs along to the beat of the song playing in my ears, the headphones slightly getting rid of the noises in the diner. The corners of my lips lift gently, creating a content smile.

  It wouldn't take long until I sensed someone looking at me.I tore my eyes away from my book and scanned the diner. My eyes would momentarily pass a familiar figure; this made me do a double take. His eyes widened slightly as I caught him, his eyes quickly darted away focusing on the table in front of him. I look away as well.. A little bit embarrassed. After a few minutes passed I looked back at the man.. Is that Sam? Sam winchester? My mind wanders back to my time in Stanford, Sam and I were pretty much best friends.. Well that's how it felt to me.  We met in an Art history class and pretty much became class buddies until one day we decided to meet outside of class. Then one day he pretty much disappeared.. Leaving me disappointed, and without my friend. I sat there for a bit debating if I should go over to him, just to say hi or maybe engage in small talk about how his life was going.

  I sat here contemplating whenever to approach him. I decided to pack up my pencils and books, hastily shoving them back into my bag. I removed the headphones from my ears, letting them hang around my neck. Before leaving the table, I put the small mug on top of the plate, making it easier for the waitress to get the dishes. I take a small deep breath and get up. Grabbing my bag and walking over to where Sam sat. whatever pov :p Their boots make heavy footsteps, prompting Sam to look up. Their eyes lock, and they offer a small wave accompanied by a slight smile.

Before they speak, they shuffle into the booth, taking the slightly uncomfortable seat in front of him.

"Hey, um, you're Sam Winchester, right?" Despite already knowing the answer, they feel compelled to confirm, just in case. Sam smiles slightly, his eyes narrowing, trying to place you. "Yeah, It's me.” he pauses “It's Y/N right?" They smile at him recognizing them, "yeah! it's me" they pauses for a bit unsure of what to say to one of their past friends "i- this might be insensitive of me but- what happened? why'd you.. Leave?" Sam looks down, remembering the incident. The memory still burned into his mind. "Family business.” He pauses before speaking again. “I had no say in it, really. It's a long.. complicated story.” His eyes shifted around the diner as his thoughts drifted back to that night. He sighs and continues “But you know that's not important, what have you been up to? You look good”

they swallow and nod, a small reassuring smile on their face. "Oh well thank you! decided to change up a few things.." they mumble slightly. "You look good too! your hairs grown pretty long" Sam grins slightly and looks down, a little embarrassed by the compliment"Yeah, the hair has certainly grown longer"  He looks back at you, his eyes searching for something. A question crosses his mind. He remembers the last time you two spoke, he asked about your plans for the future. "How about that degree? Still pursuing it?" They shrug a little “nah.. A few months after you left I realised that it was really for me and I left to do other things..” they fidget with their fingers “But… I still have student loans which is unfortunate” they give Sam an awkward smile, their feet swaying back and forth under the table. 

Sam chuckles slightly at your feet swinging, it brought back old memories of you tapping your feet together.

 "So, what have you been up to these days? I'm sure your talents were put somewhere else."

Sam and Y/N sit there for ages, just talking about how everything is going, what they have been doing since they last saw each other.. Despite Sam already getting all his food, they continue to sit there just chatting away. It wasn't until Dean called Sam, whining and grumbling about where he was and why he was taking so long.. Sam came up with a quick lie about how the diner was filled with a bunch of people. Sam hangs up and looks at you “look.. im sorry but I've got to get back to my brother” Y/n smiles “oh- yeah that's okay!” They pause and watch him pack up the now lukewarm food. Y/N hesitated before speaking, but went for it “I- do you want my number? Maybe we can chat sometime?” Sam paused, contemplating the offer, and then nodded with a smile, "Yeah, sure."

#sam winchester x reader #supernatural #supernatural x reader #sam winchester #dean winchester #sam x reader #dean winchester x reader #sam winchester x you #dean x you #diners :3 #fluff #gn reader #gender nuetral reader #friends #castiel #spn #spn crack #bobby singer

[kindlingkeen]

do you have any good fic recs? i've just finished reading all of your fics (AMAZING btw i LOVE competent jason and you write him sooo well) and obviously you have good taste so i thought i might as well ask (i will say that i don't really do ship fics tho)

thank you! looking forward to what you have in store for jason and the batfam next!

First, thank you for the ask! And I’m so glad you’ve been enjoying my fics!! 😊 I’m on vacation this week and finally writing again (had a bit of a rough writer’s block patch). So hopefully I’ll be posting more content in the next couple of weeks.

Fic recs - boy do I ever. I will say, I have super varied tastes in fics, I’ll read just about anything Gen that’s Jason-centric, plus a few Jason ships (although I’m pretty picky about what actually makes it into my bookmarks). All of the fics I’m rec’ing below are Gen, although some might have flavors of a relationship (likely JayRoy since that’s my preferred pairing). I tried to pick a selection of different styles and tropes, so hopefully you find something you like. Almost all these authors have multiple fics I’ve loved, so look at their other works on ao3 for more great reading (you may need to be logged into ao3 to see some of them). Enjoy!

Fic recs

Glow in the Dark Stars by essspressso (stylesmakethefight) 

This is a time travel fic that made me bawl ugly tears, like seriously bawl. Read if in need of a good cry.

The Cold Like Coming Home by cabezas_de_vaca 

An interesting one-shot of Jason and Bruce finding their way back to each other.

More Chances Than Deserved 'Verse by Skalidra  @skalidra

A series that starts out post batarang, Jason does not rejoin the family.

Gotham CPS by ebjameston 

Not sure how to even describe this one, it’s pure hilarity told by an outsider POV.

Nests and Cages by LanternWisp, Lysical @lanternwisp

A series detailing Jason’s journey back to the family. The last installment of the series has probably the best reconciliation discussion between Jason and Bruce re: Bruce taking on another Robin that I’ve ever read.

Buy One Get One Free by Here_we_go

A series that starts with catatonic Jason. I love how Jason is written in this one so so much (especially the main first part), and there’s a short segment later in the series with Talia that’s lovely.

fever by r_astra  @heyy-its-skip

One-shot. Quality batdad in the context of a sick fic

nightmares and daydreams by r_astra @heyy-its-skip

One-shot. Beware, there’s some heavy duty torture in this one. Jason & Tim isn’t usually my thing, but I really like their brief interaction in this one.

all the small weights by sparkycap

One-shot. More quality batdad, this time in the context of fear toxin

a (cat)astrophe in the making by mikkal

Part of a loosely connected series, if I’m remembering correctly. I’m a firm believer that Jason Todd needs a cat.

Red Hood by envysparkler @envysparkler

An amazing Jason rejoins the family, classic fix it, set early in Lost Days continuity. Envysparkler’s works are pretty much solely responsible for getting me into the Batfam. This fic in particular motivated me to start writing TPWC.

Overcoming Our Antecedents by Batbirdies @batbirdies

De-aging fic, this isn’t my favorite trope, but of what’s out there, I like the dynamics in this one.

Things We Only Talk About After Dark by BabblingBookends

One-shot. More good batdad, but not fluffy like the other two above. I really like how Bruce is written in this one, how he struggles with the unknown.

Kidnapped! by Cerusee @cerusee

One-shot set in Jason’s Robin days. One of my favorites for father and son feels.

A MOMENT THAT'S HELD IN YOUR ARMS. by orpheusaki

More baby Robin Jay and good dad Bruce.

White Lighters / Afterglow by lurkinglurkerwholurks @lurkinglurkerwholurks

One-shot. Another one that legitimately made me cry.

Druthers by d_aia @e-alexandrescu

A really creative, not-your-typical-take on Jason rejoining the family. Sniper Jason is so frelling cool.

I linked the tumblr’s for the authors I know of. If you have any to add, leave them in the comments and I’ll update!

#keen converses #fic rec #ao3 #my fics #jason todd #batfam

[realbeefman]

Do you have any good house fic recs? I am Struggling with my search.

for sure! although Disclaimer, i havent been reading house fanfic for very long and ive pretty much only read house/wilson so far, SO this is more of a hilson fic rec list than anything lol

Warning Signs by out_there - oneshot, 12k words, Wilson-POV, set around the end of s3. SUCH A GOOD FIC i laughed so much while reading this. genuinely delightful. possibly my fav house fic i’ve ever had the pleasure of reading.

The Line of Thought by tevinterimperium - oneshot, 12k, Wilson-POV, set after s3 e15. THEEE classic fake-dating AU. this was the first fic i read in this fandom and it absolutely fucks. im a SAP i love a good “no homo but OH GOD THE FEELINGS” plot!!

Desert Mesa Motel - 8 miles outside of Kingman, Arizona - 12:03 AM by plorp - ficlet, 1k, House-POV, post-canon. this makes me BAWL. very very good fic but SAD. and DEPRESSING. will make you CRY/pos

How Not To Be Boring by fourleggedfish - incomplete/abandoned, 497k, Wilson-POV, AU from around mid-s5. if u like whump (which i absolutely do) u will probably like this fic. if u are squicked out by sex, u will hate it bc these guys bang 24/7. this fic had me pacing, glued to my phone, sick to my stomach, crying (several times), and obliterated my sleep schedule. i can’t rec it highly enough. every chapters includes appropriate content warnings, but some major themes that appear throughout are character death (not of main characters), the aftermath of severe child abuse, and mental illness. if any of these topics are a trigger for you, please don’t read this work.

Forsake Me Here by MonsterBoyf - complete, 8k, Wilson-POV, ambiguous setting. Wilson has intrusive thoughts about mutilating House. He tries to cope. features a lot of very graphic imagery and does an excellent but extremely accurate job of portraying an OCD-spiral that could be triggering to people. i LOVE this fic i think about it so so much.

An Inconvenient Truth by anathaema - complete, 15k, House-POV, ambiguous setting. contains the quote “You’re the suicide bomber of revelations” and is one of the funniest things i’ve ever read. plus the way in which wilson’s sexuality in this fic is handled is honestly so realistic and entertaining. HIGHLY recc this to absolutely everyone who enjoys hilson

the more it took away by scribespirare - oneshot, 10k, House-POV, ambiguous setting. Omega!House has his first heat since presenting. Alpha!Wilson helps him through it. I LOVE OMEGAVERSE AND I LOVE FUCK OR DIE AND I LOVE THE WAY THIS FIC HANDLES THIS IS JUST GRAHHHH. If u don’t enjoy omegaverse u won’t like this but i can’t make a house fic rec list and NOT include this one

Aftershocks by black_cigarette - series, around 125k in total, various POV’s, set sometime post-Tritter arc. this fic IS gen, but honestly, i didn’t know that going in and didn’t realize it wasn’t a slash fic until the very end. tldr is that wilson is brutally assaulted because house has been gambling with some unsavory people, and house helps him deal with the aftermath. this fic does not pull punches. its is extremely graphic and everything wilson goes through is described in detail. it is a messy story about recovering from brutal trauma and everything that entails. DISCLAIMER: there are sequel(s) to this series available on the author’s livejournal, but i haven’t read them and can’t speak to anything they discuss.

no need to worry (making up your mind) by scribespirare - complete, 25k, House-POV, set sometime in the early seasons. House lies about having a Jewish boyfriend to get out of visiting his mother at Christmas. Things quickly get out of hand. THIS FIC IS SOOO *tears into it with my teeth*. I love when they scheme together <3

#ty for the ask!!! had a lot of fun thinking abt which fics i enjoyed the most/stuck with me the hardest #tried to provide tws for everything but if i missed anything plss call me out #house md #hilson #housefic #house md fic recs #hilson fic recs

[coquelicoq]

i know we're all losing it at this sudden insight we've gained in the [tarik voice] uhhh why is there a drone in my face scene, so i wanted to pull out some moments from previous books in which murderbot uses drones to look at people and see how differently they read if we now assume said drones are hovering inches away from their faces. reviewing my notes to look for examples is how i found out that mb doesn't pilot drones to look at people's faces until FT/NE, with one exception, and it's a doozy:

When it [the drone] reached Wilken, I had it stop and hover in front of her face for twenty-six seconds. Okay, so I was a little angry. (RP, ch. 5)

so like, it knows putting a drone in somebody's face is gonna freak them out, and it uses that to fuck with a human that pissed it off. lol.

that's really the only moment in the first four books where mb could conceivably be droning right up in someone's business, and it's made explicit. so i don't think we missed anything there. FT and NE are another story. here are some of my favorite moments:

FT

Indah faced me and asked, "You have experience at this?" Watching her via the drones, I kept my gaze on the Starchy Foods!!! sign, which had little dancing figures around it which I guess were supposed to be starchy foods. (ch. 1)

there's something about having a drone in your face while you're trying to talk to a person who is staring very seriously at a whimsical sign that contains three exclamation points...

Indah stared at Tural. So did I, with my drones. (ch. 2)

MULTIPLE drones in face incident! plus your boss giving you the eyeball?? tural is doing their best u guys please have mercy!

He [one of Mensah's assistants] was used to me and used to confidential council stuff, so he didn’t even glance up at my drones, just nodded to us and slipped out as we stepped in. (ch. 6)

whose job is it to tell newly hired assistants "ignore it" when there's a drone in their face? it's probably part of the standard onboarding procedure at this point tbh.

Then me, Aylen, and Indah were standing in the office looking at each other. Or they were looking at me and my drones were looking at them. (ch. 6)

mexican standoff if instead of guns you had eye contact and also one of the people involved doesn't like making eye contact. or something.

NE

The drone I had watching [Mensah's] face increased magnification, its low-light filter rendering her features in black and white. (ch. 2)

POV you're having a tense conversation about trauma therapy in the dark with a little flying camera buzzing around your head. just little secunit teammate things! (i actually think mensah finds this very comforting though. she smiles at the drone four pages later <3)

I wanted to use my drones to look at [Amena], but while that was calming for me, it wouldn’t be for her. (ch. 3)

hmm would it not be calming for amena to have something hovering in her face right when she's about to be abducted by raiders? ya think??

I had a drone view of Amena watching the hand scanner, her brow furrowed in half-wince, half-concentration. (ch. 6)

it doesn't have to be like this [mb 🤝 performing surgery] when it can also be like this [putting a drone in amena's face 🤝 mb 🤝 performing surgery]. mb has two hands (metaphorically)

My drone watched [Amena] eyeing me. (ch. 20)

every time mb says it sees through a drone that someone is watching it gets 200% funnier if this means that the person is deliberately ignoring the drone invading their personal bubble in order to look at the person that is outside of their personal bubble. like that's commitment.

[Mensah] came and sat down next to me in the lounge and I adjusted a drone to be able to get a view of her face. (ch. 20)

read: "a drone zoomed down from where it was circling above my head and stopped an inch in front of mensah's nose." i mean, you don't have to read it that way, it's never made explicit and i'm not the boss of you. but isn't it fun to imagine?

#there is a LOT to say about mb and gaze and i will say a little more about it in the next post #but this is still barely even scratching the surface #i honestly was super surprised by how few examples there are of mb using drones to watch people in lieu of using its eyes #it feels like that happens all the time but it's actually not that common (or at least not mentioned very often) #mostly because in the first four books mb actually uses security cameras for this purpose more than drones #(in FT and NE it has access to drones but not security cameras) #anyway i'll get into that more in the next post <3 #the murderbot diaries #murderbot #mb gaze #mb sc #system collapse spoilers #my posts

[etherealkissed88]

i asked you something and you not only were mean, but you are also making fun of me on twitter. i felt so embarrased that i had to delete my account. you made me feel so bad. i did nothing to you. you had no reason to be so mean. english is not my first lenguage so i also have trouble communicating, i understand half of what you post here. karma will hit you so hard.

lets quote what i said “no i dont believe they are possible 🥰 which is why i have a whole page dedicated to manifesting stuff 😍”

this isnt mean, this is sarcasm. you communicate very well actually but heres the thing: i looked at ur account and you repost a lot of loa content. if you read all those posts especially the ones about desired appearance which is what you were asking about, it doesnt make sense for you to ask me “do you believe its actually possible to manifest a desired appearance.”

and do not use your language barrier as an excuse to make me feel bad because i rly dont. if you were so bad at communitcating, you wouldn’t be able to communicate to me both this time and the previous time, plus y would u read and repost loa content if u had an issue w language? i know you understand loa but when ppl keep searching and searching for outside answers and validation, it doesnt get them anywhere. believe me - ive “coached” ppl who repeatedly asked me the same questions over and over again despite my whole account and posts being right there. they still struggle because they only ask questions and never apply.

the same fingers you used to type the question, you could have used those same fingers to scroll thro my page like you did with the other content creators. i get it if you are new to loa (even tho you could have read the content that was already there and even tho u already reposted content answering ur own question) but as someone who creates loa content everyday, its disrespectful from my point of view that i work hard for these posts and ppl dont even look at it and instead ask the most limiting questions ever. its almost like “why would i waste my time w these posts”. if you dont understand this, its bc you arent someone who gets 20 repetitive asks everyday meanwhile their answers being right on my page. it can be stressful and so annoying.

now back to my original answer: “no i dont believe they are possible 🥰 which is why i have a whole page dedicated to manifesting stuff 😍”. if u think this was mean, its bc you knew the answer was yes, it is possible. why else would i have a page dedicated to manifesting if it wasnt possible to “actually manifest a desired appearance”. my answer simply guided you to your own answer and to search my page if you still had (better) questions. what i said was literally not mean😭 and if you still believe so then thats fine bc its never that big of a deal. and i wasnt making fun of u on twitter, i simply said the exact thing i originally answered you with💀

idk if ur a beginner in the law or not but either way, you should know that anything is possible w the law. if u didnt know that, then now you know (and ik you know based on ur reaction to my original answer). and karma isnt real so it will not “hit me hard”🥶

im sorry if you rly have a language barrier issue but from my pov, that was the best, most appropiate reply i could have given. even other loa content creators can agree bc they know how ppl can get in their asks inbox. reread this whole thing if theres still an issue.

and dw u can just make another account like you did just now🤭

[anonmojito]

As an absolute sucker for A/B/O Au's I love the idea of Kim Suho getting thrown into that kind of verse.

Imagine living your life, dying (?) And waking up to the concept of alpha, beta & omegas being the norm???

Plus the number of changes he'd have to deal with in his new body (omega!Lloyd hc).

This naturally brings only trouble for Javier (ノ^o^)ノ

It turned into a ramble more than anything tbh. Don't mind that <3 if there's anything plot vise I forgot/overlooked thru this it's cause my memory is A s s)

Javier POV lowkey:

Lloyd couldn't get any weirder. To add onto his sudden change in demeanor, he'd begun to get reckless with his scent as well. A scent similar to a Clementine or Tangerine that wafts in waves whenever Lloyd is particularly pleased with himself or got his way with another contract. Its a sharp contrast to the smell of booze everyone was used to, and it more often than not left a few townsmen sputtering when they spoke with him. Javier was left to deal with this change too, except he was beside his master 24/7. When that scent would hit him full force every morning, leave his nose twitching when Lloyd gets into the rhythms of his new work and when it calms into something comforting around noon; when the days almost gone and Lloyd decides to rest.

Javier first chokes up this lack of scent control to Lloyd's cold turkey sobriety. But it's been weeks now. Almost two months and Lloyd still hasn't tried to restrain his scent. Worse, others seem to be picking up on it as well. Loitering around the young master when they get the chance, chatting it up now that Lloyd wasn't defaulting to throwing chairs and yelling. Lloyd himself doesn't seem to enjoy it either; after a few minutes of chatter his lip would start to twitch and that scent of Tangerine (it was definitely closer to tangerines than clementines) would sour. Javier learns to take that as close enough a hint to pry his master away from the crowd, spill a white lie about how he's needed elsewhere and get Lloyd some air. He tries not to be pleased about how Lloyd visibly relaxes when it's just the two of them.

"Master Lloyd–" Javier is at his wits end. He's a patient man. Strong willed and resilient when it comes to most obstacles. His Master however? His loud , arragont, obnoxious at times master being this stupid? Javier is a patient man but he's a man nonetheless. A Knight who's had to deal with his masters turbulent scent that just doesn't want to leave him alone. And worse, Lloyd turns back to him with a genuine look of confusion (as genuine as it can be). Javier ends up questioning his master through a locked face and Lloyd in response looks bewildered. "The drinking must have hit me worse than I thought" is all he gets. Javier refuses the sleeping spell that night, throws a hand over his masters mouth before he can get a word in and declares to help him control his scent again. From then on they spend an hour every night before bed going through the motions, and Lloyd (after months) finally learns to control his own scent. Javier sighs in relief, and tries not to think about how he misses that familiar tangerine scent.

Master Lloyd seems to loose his filter as well. Not when around the staff, count or contracted men he's hired no. Only when it's just the two of them, in a moment of what Javier could've hoped was peace before his master opens his mouth. "You smell like mint." he says unabashed. "I'm safe when you're here aren't I?" He laughs with no shame. "I trust you." He declares. Javier understands this is comradery of some kind. A trust and faith in him that no one else has given him before. His master is far too good at feeding that quiet voice in the back of his mind, and Javier let's him. (Alpha instincts have low standards lmao)

It's after they get back to the estate that Lloyd gets his heat. It's not hard to notice. He asks for seconds during meals, sleeps late into the mornings, speaks more with his summons than with anyone outside the estate and avoids half the staff like the plague. It's rather obvious when that overripe scent of tangerine clings to his skin and his expressions screams dazed more than anything. The count had noticed, Javier had as well, but Lloyd hadn't. Despite being days into Pre-heat, his master still drags himself out of bed and goes about the motions, despite how miserable he looks. It ends up being Javier's job (once again) to pull him aside and question him. "My what-" is all he gets before Javier realizes he has more on his plate than he expected.

(+I like to think heats can be sexual and non-sexual given the circumstances!)

His pillow is missing. Javier turns his room inside out and still can't find it. He assumes he'd left it where he last slept; Lloyd's room. When he enters said room however, he doubts he would've found it if he tried. The beds drowned in pillows and blankets. The summons are jumping around in their own world until they notice Javier and greet him with small chirps and sounds. Javier ends up smelling Lloyd coming before the door opens. Sweet Tangerine and hints of earth that hit him when the door opens. He finds his pillow then, tucked under his masters arm as if it belonged there. Javier blanks out for a moment. "Ah Javier! Great timing. I was just looking for you." Lloyd smiles. Something often quiet in Javier's gut comes to life then and there. He doesn't end up on the chair that night. Lloyd doesn't let him. Spouts nonsense about how the chair isn't comfortable and how important sleeping positions are and only shuts up when Javier relents. He ends up in Lloyd's nest, the only barrier between him and the other being his own damned pillow. He falls asleep without the sleeping spell that night.

That's it for now? That's a lie my brains rattling with more HCs but I should stop here lmao. If people like this word vomit I'll make a part 2.

#the greatest estate developer #lloyd frontera #javier asrahan #javilloyd #tged #abo ah #I did this instead of my assignment lmao #Mojito_Spills #sorry in advance #part 1(?) #if there's any spelling errors no there's not #u see nothing

[mxdarling]

["to jealousy, to being yours"]

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

ೃ⁀➷: summary: five (5) times you thought nobara liked maki, and the one (1) time she proved you wrong.

ೃ⁀➷: word count: 5k (5,010)

ೃ⁀➷: reference/inspiration: pov: you're falling in love with someone you cant have

[author's note:] hii so um HAPPY (VERY BELATED) BIRTHDAY BESTIE<33 @wenmiyun lots of hugs and kisses mwah mwah /p PLSS I'M SO SORRY I HAVE TO GIFT YOU MY SHITTY WRITING AND ESPECIALLY THIS LATE, here's my attempt of writing for nobara, i never written for jjk before so spare me the harsh criticism on their personalities </3

[warnings:] lowercase, occ nobara + other jjk characs, angst, fluff, jealousy behavior (from reader), reader really is jealous of maki, cringe humour, reader writes in (not) a diary, cursing, kiss scene, nobara is taller than reader, they/them pronouns, reader wants to be beaten up by nobara (once).

[If there is anything else triggering here that I didn’t list in the warnings section, please tell me.]

[GN reader]

ⅰ. (when she found maki pretty).

["dear diary, how does one cope with the intense feeling of knowing your feelings aren't reciprocated and you want to crawl in a hole and die? because I really want to crawl in a hole and die?"]

["dear diary, I don't even have a diary; I'm just writing on a piece of paper and calling it a diary to look like I actually write stuff down when really I don't."]

["dear diary, I'm feeling like a piece of shit and really overthinking this, but i think i'm 100% going to get rejected and I'm 100% going to look like an absolute fool in front of her, and I'm going to ruin our friendship in the process while I watch her get together with maki :')"]

["dear diary, imagine not being able to afford a therapist and having to resort to taking to some—"]

the sound of pencil lead being snapped, it falls to the wooden floor and magically disappears within the color of the floor. "…fucck.." you whisper curses, knowing you have to go find a sharpener, sharpen your pencil, and go back to writing in your diary (a piece of paper). what's even better is that you don't even know where the hell you're going to find a sharpener anywhere in these grounds, plus the fact that it literally took you almost 30 minutes just to find a goddamn pencil to write with—sometimes you just really question your luck in life.

you lean back on the chair, putting down the pencil on the desk beside the piece of paper. the silence in the classroom wasn't helping the debate happening inside your head—whether it was worth it to try and find a sharpener or suffer by yourself by letting this extreme surge of sadness from inside of you till you cry to the point of exhaustion. you decided you weren't going to deal with another emotional toll today.

after 15 minutes of attempting to find a sharpener, you gave up, opting to just walk around outside to hopefully soothe your troubled mind. while walking, you happened to see yuji and nobara talking to each other. walking up to them, you were to say hello to them (especially to see her) before stopping your footsteps from going forward. 

"do you find maki-san pretty?" head tilted, a child-like confusion is shown on yuji's face, facing towards the person in question, nobara.

intuitively, you hid behind a pillar to not be spotted by them. your ears are now caught in interest; you wanted—no, needed—to know her answer. your heart rate is picking up its pace, beating, and pounding so loudly in your chest that it almost feels like you're about to jump and escape into her arms. your smile couldn't be contained as it slowly grew and grew until it reached your ears, making you look like a fool in love (you very much are).

"hah? where did that question come from?" crossing her arms at her chest, taking a defensive stance to the question being thrown at her, she raises a brow at yuji's question. "just curious; you kind of look at maki differently, i guess?" with a convincingly straight face, yuji remains unbothered by the defensive stance nobara takes in response to his question, "so do you find-" 

"of course I'd find maki-san pretty," she answered, very quick and brief, cutting yuji off before he could even finish his attempt at repeating the question, almost like she's certain—confident even in her answer, which she just told to yuji.

that answer alone was enough to make your wide smile turn into a frown in a matter of seconds. you felt like crying; you could feel your eyes tearing up. staying here and watching the two of them talk was only going to worsen your mood, so you walked away on slightly shaking legs. wiping the tears that have now appeared, you've lost the determination to find that goddamn sharpener.

"but what abou-"

"but.." nobara cuts off yuji again, though he doesn't seem to be bothered by it, sending blank stares as he waits for her to continue on. nobara finishes, in a hushed and quiet tone, "(name) is definitely the prettiest."

ⅱ. (when she had fighting sessions with maki)

you were on edge, high on anticipation, feeling the sweat in your palms build up as you sit at the end of your seat, watching from the sidelines as nobara and maki practice fighting each other to pass the time. you silently cheered on for nobara with absolute bias; despite the winner of this fighting match being as clear as day (it's maki), you still cheered on for nobara, for her. 

the way she moved and dodged every attack maki made towards her, the way she gripped very tightly onto her weapon in hand, every swift and duck she did, every twist and turn her body did—she somehow made all of them so goddamn alluring. your eyes were stuck to her like glue, watching her every move just like maki except not out of caution and with the intent to defeat her but because of how breathless you were from watching from afar. her scrunched-up face when she struggles, those displays of frustration and smug grins when she's trying to disguise her pain—all these things about her are what made you drawn to her. even when everything else around you is hectic and chaotic, your eyes will search and search till they land on her. somehow, in some way, your eyes always manage to find her.

maki-san was lucky, you thought as your eyes continued to be stuck on nobara, slowly blurring out the rest of the fight scene and just focusing on her and her alone. she gets a front-row view of nobara, gets to hang out with her, and has the honor of being someone she admires and someone she respects. maki-san doesn't know how lucky she is, you thought again, this time feeling more envy—perhaps even showing it on your face with how much it boils inside of you. controlling your facial expressions when you finally snapped out of that jealousy haze you were momentarily in, remembering how you got caught making a face around maki as she got you to snap out by asking you directly if there was something on her face. you didn't want to be caught again by her suspicious gaze. who knows what she'll do when she gets so pissed that she starts beating you up?

if you were being honest, you'd much rather prefer nobara beating you up; if the roles of the fight were reversed and you were in the fight instead of maki-san, you would be in paradise. multiple times already have you been utterly bested in a fight against nobara and every single time she would have that victory smirk plastered on her face, it never failed to set you in a frenzy state.

"haah, i wasn't even close," nobara said in defeat as she sat on the grass, exhausted. taking heavy and deep breaths, the rise and fall of her chest prove the amount of air the fight took out of her.

"heh, you did better than last time; i'll say that," maki says as she extends her hand towards the tired nobara, offering to help her get back on her feet.

taking the help, she reached for maki's hand, and upon contact, maki pulled her back up. when the two locked eyes, there's a new-found twinkle in nobara's eyes, seeing as maki just complimented her. "wah!? really, maki-san!?" 

perhaps you were in a daze for far too long, for the fighting match had already ended with maki-san being the victor, of course. you stared at them from a distance as they continued to converse with one another. you could feel your face contort into an expression—you're not sure what kind of expression you were making exactly. though you couldn't hear their conversation, you could see their expressions and faces change as the talk between them went on. they looked like they're having a lot of fun, you thought, especially her; the thought persists to drill into your brain. feeling sick in your stomach, you stood up from your seat and walked off, not wanting to look at the scene of them happily talking any longer. maybe writing in that diary (piece of paper) will cheer you up.

"did you do better because they were watching?" maki raised an eyebrow at nobara, smirking slightly as she watched the ginger-haired girl get flustered by her question.

"h-how did you-"

"it's not rocket science; it's more clear than the curses i see without my glasses," maki commented bluntly while also cutting nobara mid-sentence. although what she said was true, it was a blow to nobara's pride as she was doing everything she didn't want to do: being obvious about how she feels towards you.

ⅲ. (when she smiled at maki and maki smiled at her back)

gojo satoru, your sensei, had a plan for all the first years and second years to go to the beach this sunday, saying how it's a good time to take a break and relax from our student responsibilities and enjoy our youth, or something along those lines and while most of them were reluctant to go (because it was gojo sensei's idea, you could never trust what he's planning about, plus he is a moron) somehow—and miraculously so, managed to convince everyone, including you, to join in on the trip.

contrary to your initial expectations about the trip, it's pretty fun (good job sensei!), for the first time in quite a while, you felt relaxed. something you haven't felt in what, weeks? months? in you convince yourself enough you might even believe it has been years since you've felt the tension leave your body. not only was the view of the beautiful sunset amazing but everything else around you too. the cool wind kissing your face as your hair flows in the air, the splashing of waves against the shore, the distant noise of birds chirping as they fly above you, the loud laughter of your upperclassmen and friends as they have fun chasing each other in the sand. this was pure bliss.

getting bored of the sunset view you turned your head to face your upperclassmen and friends doing their usual antics onto each other, gaining a small smile and a short-lived laugh out of you. as your eyes start to drift away from the sight of your friends, it naturally searches for nobara, for her. once it does finds her, there's a split second of your eyes widening in joy before returning back to your neutral face as you notice who she's with, maki, again. you turn your head away to try and be subtle but still keep an eye on them, from your peripheral vision you could see nobara sending maki a smile and maki sends her a small smile in return, they look happy together, you thought— sometimes you wish that was you instead, standing by her side, smiling and happily by her side. deep down you know that will never happen.

while you weren't looking, nobara took (not so) tiny and small glances at your direction, the view she had of your side profile was perfect, the effect of the sunset on you made a smile on her face, realizing how beautiful you were and all the little facial features you had she hasn't noticed yet. she would stare at you for hours and hours on end, for seeing your face was already a miracle for her.

ⅳ. (when she looks for matching bracelets with maki)

the bustling city outside the borders of tokyo jujutsu high wasn't the kind of environment you would choose to spend your free time in; you'd much prefer staying inside your dorm and sleeping or playing games on your phone, but you were invited by nobara herself (and being the desperate fool you are, you would take any chances and opportunities to spend some quality time with her). you're currently waiting in front of some cafe, sitting on one of their outside tables and chairs, for nobara and maki to arrive.

sure, you weren't too happy that maki would be accompanying you two (you deeply and desperately wished it was just you two hours prior; does the world really hate you that much?) but you weren't going to let that fact bother you. no, you weren't. maki-san is a great person, a great friend of nobara, and someone she admires. you just want to control your jealousy around her. mentally prepare talking to yourself as you await their arrival. you pray that you don't appear weird or crazy with how sometimes you accidentally slip out curses out of your mouth. you don't need to make a fool of yourself this early in the day.

minutes have passed, and you could see two familiar silhouettes appearing in your line of sight, walking towards the cafe you're waiting at. you start waving at them to show you were already here, and they wave back as their figures slowly get clearer and bigger in your line of sight. "wow.. you look great, (name)!" your eyes widen at nobara's positive comment on your outfit; it wasn't anything special, just the clothes you usually wear when you go out, except with a little more style. there's no way you're going to underdress when she's going to show up. "heh.. thanks! you look great too! and- maki-san as well!" you can feel your hands sweat a little, giving out a nervous smile. you compliment her back (you wanted to say more) while also not forgetting to mention maki as well. just so you don't seem rude and impolite.

maki hummed in acknowledgement of your comment. "you're not bad yourself, (name)," she says. you know maki isn't one to sugarcoat, so it was good to be affirmed that you didn't look bad.

"now, which store should we check out first?"

hours have passed, and the three of you have gone into at least three stores, which felt like a blast to you. never has walking around big malls and looking through hundreds of different kinds and sets of clothing been this fun and exciting. bags, and bags have filled the majority of your hands. you three walked together, chatting along while trying to look for more stores to shop at. finally settling on a small shop down the street that sells handmade bracelets.

"this one suits you, maki-san!" nobara exclaimed, giving the bracelet to maki for her to try on, and when maki put the bracelet on, her eyes beamed as she said something about finding more bracelets to buy for the three of you guys.

as you watched them pick out bracelets from the ones displayed, you stared at them from a distance. watching them closely, not even caring to be subtle about your staring as you feel a certain familiar feeling start boiling up inside you. even then, you continued to watch them, your hands no longer picking up bracelets to try on as they remained still by your side. they look so nice together. though, as you know, that was intended to be sarcasm, the enviousness' grew and grew by milliseconds, not just towards maki but to everything. why was it always maki-san with her? why is it that she gets to be with her the most? why couldn't maki-san be replaced by you? why couldn't that be you?

"how about you, (name)? did you find one you like?" nobara's voice pulls you out of your daze. she was now staring straight at you, causing you to crumble inside within seconds. the jealousy and envy feeling inside faded as she had you now in a more giddy state. you swallowed a lump down your throat to hopefully increase your chances of not sounding like a nervous wreck.

"uh- sorry, haven't found one yet.. plus i need to go.." you try to politely leave, seeing as you might just ruin the whole hangout if your jealousy gets in the way. better to just leave then to cause trouble for everyone else. "you're leaving already?" nobara raised an eyebrow at your mention of departure. not that she was surprised, as she knew your energy levels were different compared to hers; it was just that this was way too early for you to leave, usually whenever you guys hang out.

"yeah.. bye!"

"..see ya (name)!"

rushing to leave your footsteps fasten as you basically speed walk away from them, without saying a word, you left. not even looking back once.

"you think (name) will like this bracelet?" holding up a purple color scheme bead bracelet between her fingers, she inspects it—almost like she's imagining how it would look on your wrist. "or would they like this one better?" she said, holding up another bead bracelet in her other hand between her fingers; this time it was a blue color scheme. giving the bracelet the same look she gave it with the other one.

"i think they would like anything you give to them," maki replied, rather sure of her words. while she doesn't know the nature of how deep your relationship is with nobara, she can tell it was a close bond. "..you think so?" whispering, her orange gaze softens as she eyes the bracelets in two of her hands. maki observes the girl; the aura around her feels tender, like she got dragged into feeling such a sentimental scene. "you know, if you can't decide, you can just buy both." just then, a light bulb lit up inside nobara's head.

she did, in fact, buy both bracelets; of course, both bracelets had a pair.

ⅴ. (when she said she loved maki)

"i love you."

that was the last nail hammered on the coffin, and god, does it fucking hurt so much? it felt like your whole heart just died, got shot where it hurt the most, and bled and bled till nothing was left behind. your heart bled for nothing; it loved for nothing; you hoped and prayed for nothing. this was the upcoming downfall you warned yourself about over and over again, yet you still fell for it. you still fell for the false hopes you deluded yourself into having, making yourself think you had any slim chance of getting your feelings reciprocated. how stupid—how stupid of you to believe in anything.

the world around you blurs out: the sounds of people talking and chatting, the walking and running footsteps of hundreds and thousands of strangers, the chirping of birds, the engines of vehicles, and such driving on the road—it is all just one blurry background to you. one that your brain cannot process, one that your brain doesn't want to process, because every fiber and tissue in your being is wishing right now to be swallowed whole by a curse and crushed into countless pieces to the point of no recognition. you wish to be erased, removed, eradicated, disintegrated—anything that could make you disappear from this world—from her. just by hearing her name in your head makes you want to go fucking insane.

perhaps it was your fault for being so nosy and wanting to take a peek at the note that has been placed on nobara's desk. if only you weren't so desperate for any confirmation of her feelings, if only you stayed content with how things are with her, you wouldn't have to get hurt this badly. the letter that was on her desk was a love letter, and you could still remember how your heart picked up pace, giving you an anxious feeling in your gut after such a discovery. slowly and nervously opening up the folded letter, you instantly knew whose handwriting it was—it was nobara's. you read and read, then you put down the letter and walked away, trying to hold back your tears from falling out. you weren't even able to read the whole thing because you knew who it was for. it was for maki.

you hated how she talked about how pretty maki was—the prettiest even—how she loved those fighting sessions she had with her, how beautiful she looked as she watched the sunset go down, and how she bought matching bracelets thinking of her. every word written in the letter screamed maki, maki, maki, maki.. not you.

you locked yourself in your room, crashing forcefully onto the bed. you lay there motionless, almost like you're dead. well, perhaps you are dead; a part of you is gone, erased, eradicated. there's a certain numbness in your tongue yet an overwhelming sense of sadness in your head that you just can't get rid of.

["dear diary, I feel like shit; i look like shit; what's even the point? clearly,  she doesn't like me; why am I still pursuing?"]

["dear diary, i'm so mad at myself; i want to scream so badly, but it's like there's this rock somewhere in my mouth stopping me from letting it all out—shit, shit, i'm cryin' now."]

suddenly, a knock on your door reaches your ears, pulling you out of your head. the energy to walk up and open the door is non-existent, as you just want to lay down and not get up. you only do so when you hear a familiar voice outside of your room.

"(name)? can we talk?" her voice is a bit muffled due to being on the other side of the door, but you could still hear her as clearly as day. she sounded concerned, which in turn made you concerned too. what did she want to talk about? did you do something wrong? did you accidentally make her mad? panic settles in, and questions start flooding in your mind. you got up from your bed and walked towards the door, opening just slightly to take a peek outside, and there she was, standing outside your room.

"hey.." you tried putting effort into your greeting, but it just came out very tired. making it up for the tired greeting, you gave a small smile. you could see from the small opening of the door that she gave a small smile back to you. you opened the door wide for her, letting her into your room so that the conversation between you two would remain private.

"you saw the letter...?" she looked in disbelief as she said that, the kind of look you would give to someone who you didn't want to see what they just saw. was the love letter for maki supposed to be a secret? "..you mean the letter for maki-san? yeah, but i didn't take a peek," you lied, somehow saying that lie was much easier to breathe at the moment. god, just mentioning her name in your mouth was enough to have you breakdown, but you needed to be strong; you needed to put up a front long enough for you to be alone and die from heartbreak.

"for maki-san? the letter is not for maki-san.." confusion was evident on her face; seeing her reaction made you confused as well. was the letter really not for maki-san? you thought. were you wrong about the letter being for maki-san? you thought again.

"..the letter was for you, (name)!"

"..what? wait! you like me!?"

"yes!"

you two stared at each other in shock as confusion faded away while the confession settled slowly in your mind. she likes you, not maki-san; she likes you and not maki-san; surely this might be a dream—no way she actually likes you back. there's just no way it's possible.

"i like you (name)," sounding more sure of herself, the slight furrowed of her eyebrows, her lips being in a straight line, her eyes showing fear, nervousness, and anticipation all in one, the trembling of her hands—you could see her waiting patiently for your answer. this was enough to tell you that this was real; her confession was real and sincere.

"..i like you too."

ⅰ. (when her lips touched yours, in uttermost passion)

she was so pretty up close—way too pretty, in fact—that she left you stunned—so stunned that you don't even realize really just how close she actually was. you can feel her breath on your lips and your cheeks heating up. enchanted by her and her beauty, you can no longer restrain yourself anymore. slowly sneaking your arms around her neck, resting them on her shoulders, you gently push her closer to you, all the while trying to hide your eagerness. noticing your behavior changed, she grins—grabbing your waist in her hands to keep you from potentially moving away from her; she doesn't want to let you go (not that you would do such a thing; clearly from your actions, you don't want to let her go either). inch by inch, little by little, the space between you two disappears as seconds pass by. just as you're about to get the luxury of kissing her, she diverts her head to the side of your head; instead of kissing your lips, she kisses underneath your ear instead.

surprised by her bold action, you let out a squeak, that scarlet color of red spreading through your cheeks and ears, shutting your eyes due to the embarrassment you feel—you can feel the soft touch her kisses emit on your skin. tingling every nerve in your nervous system, causing your whole body to tremble tremendously, and not being able to do anything but let her continue pressing gentle kisses underneath your ear is a blissful moment for you, one you don't want to end.

alas, you felt the loss of her lips on your skin, the creeping feeling of disappointment shown on your facials when you frowned when she pulled away. she notices the change in your mood and is flashing a smug expression back at your frown. "aww... what's wrong? you have quite the long face.." she teased, letting out a little laugh as she spoke. moving one of her hands from your waist to your cheek, she gently caressed it with her thumb, moving it slowly in different patterns and shapes. even as she teases you, that glint of tenderness in her eyes gives your heart a fast-pumping rhythm, just like the many times before she's made your heartbeat hasten.

"..i want to kiss you!" you quietly yet boldly declare right to her face, eyebrows furrowed and eyes slightly squinted to show how much you want—no, you need for her lips to be on yours. after so much restraint and yearning, you deserve at least this much. plus, with how close her lips are to you, how could you not want to kiss her?

you could see her eyes slightly widen at your demand, surprised by your unexpected newfound confidence and boldness, cheeks go slightly red after really processing what you've just said, and she can feel the breath in her throat go away as soon as she tries to speak. "l-like, right now!?" hating the way she stutters, especially in front of someone as pretty as you, the tremble of her lips tells you enough of what she's really feeling right now. "yes, if that's okay with you," you reply, not wanting to force her into something she didn't want to do.

"no! it's..it's okay."

"are you sure?"

"yes, i'm sure (name).."

"are you really sure..?"

"yes, i'm totally sure."

"...okay" you say, not necessarily believing her but still taking her word for it. unwrapping your arms around her neck, you put your grip on her uniform, pulling her even closer to you than before, making her feel your nervous breath on her lips and hers on yours. "..are you ready?" showing your uncertainty in her consent to let you kiss her. you wanted to be ultimately sure that she wanted this too and that this wasn't one-sided by any means possible. "always" she smiled, rather softly and not the smug kind you were expecting. she always had such a dominating aura in your eyes; the way she presented herself wherever she was and the confidence she carries always made your legs buckle and your heart throb.

you went on your tippy toes, making yourself slightly taller than your original height to help you close the gap between your lips better. in your opinion, the lack of space between you two would have made you shiver in distress had it been anyone else that was in her position; she was not anyone else; no, she was the exception. the only way you would let this close to you personally (and literally), she was very, very special indeed.

she must have grown impatient because, as soon as you moved just an inch towards her face, she moved her lips onto yours. her eyes were closed when she went in for the kiss; you, however, were in a state of shock, like time had frozen still, leaving you somewhat paralyzed in the palms of her hands, temporarily helpless as you finally reap what you've sowed for such a very long time. the kiss was nothing grand; the best way you could describe the kiss shared between you two was a peck on the lips. it was very clear that neither of you two had any sort of experience with romance, let alone intimacy. this was probably the first kiss you two were going to have, and god, it felt really good.

"............"

"............"

"...wow, that was so hot."

"yeah? really?"

"yeah, really hot, like really, really hot."

"..do you want another one?"

"..hell yeah"

you kissed her one last time, just to make sure none of this wasn't a dream—it wasn't; not one bit was a dream. her lips are reality, her hands touching your cheeks are reality, her being yours is reality, and you being hers is reality. all of this is reality, and goddamn, it feels so fucking good.

["dear diary, FUCK YOU, I HAVE A FUCKING GIRLFRIEND NOW!!"]

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

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#jujustu kaisen #jjk #jujustu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujustu kaisen nobara kugisaki #jjk nobara kugisaki #nobara kugisaki x reader #nobara x reader #⭒❃.✮:▹One-shot #gender neutral reader