#sighs in grief over characters that aren’t even aware i exist | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heyheydidjaknow · 3 years

Text

So you know when you write about the same character that isn't even yours for almost half a year and you think, “Hey, why not expand a little bit and try writing for a different fandom?” and you end up writing for someone you know very little about because you were too impatient to play through all of the source material and you have to pray that it isn’t a blatant bastardization? Yeah, me too. Anyways, here’s this.

‘They’re going to die someday.’

You are next to him, your legs crossed, sat on the ground as you continue a story that now went in one ear and out the other— something about someone causing some trouble for a personal friend of yours. You were grinning from ear to ear as you orate to an invisible audience in front of the two of you, and as you took a sip from your apple cider, the thought struck him with such an unprecedented, dizzying force that, had he not been seated, he would have stumbled from the sheer magnitude of it.

He had, of course, been aware of your mortality. It was impossible not to be aware of it, given the type of person you were; you spoke often of your own death, laughing about it more often than prematurely grieving, but more noticeably planning for when you would have to die, hopefully, according to you, either by some dramatic and romantic disease— Phthisis— or in your sleep. The god would have been foolish to believe that you would— or, indeed, could— live as long as he would, but as was with the other citizens of his kingdom, he had simply decided to not think of it, to cross that bridge when you got to it.

But at that moment, as you sat there, simply wiping off the blood from sitting on a particularly sharp rock, hardly caring about such a blatant reminder of your mortality, he can not help but be reminded by just how fragile you are.

“Hey, Y/N?”

You glanced over at him. “Yeah?”

“Who do you think will take care of the funeral arrangements?” He fiddled with the buttons on his sleeves, not quite meeting your gaze. “When you die, I mean.”

You thought for a moment, shrugged. “I guess my family. What about you?”

He rested his head on his knees. “If I had to ask someone to perform the arrangement,” he admitted, “I’d probably ask you.”

“Yeah?” You grinned. “I don’t know you held me in such high esteem, Venti.”

“Yeah, well,” he smiled weakly, “it’s not like I have anyone else to ask.”

You pushed him playfully. “Rude.” He heard you rest your head on one of the rocks.”If I die before you, I’ll send you an invite to my funeral.”

“Promise?”

You hummed in confirmation.

The silence that fell between you two was unusually heavy.

“Why do you ask?”

He leaned back, joining you at your side. “I don’t know,” he sighed. “Just been thinking about it more recently.” A rueful chuckle bubbled up his throat. “I’ve probably spent too much time around you.”

“Probably,” you agree, crossing your legs as you stare up at the stars. “But, hey? It gives you things to write about.”

He smiled at that. You are not wrong, he supposed, but a bit out of the know. He was not a stranger to writing songs about grief. It had just been a while since the sting of it was as fresh as it was now, and like a picked scab, he struggled to keep his quiet dread from spilling over. “I guess so.”

“But you know “ you shuffle closer to him, “if you’re finally going to join the Painfully-Aware-Of-Your-Own-Mortality club, you can’t let it get you too down. You’ll drive yourself crazy if you do.”

“Wisdom coming from you?” He reached down, taking your hand gently in his, thumb on your pulse.

“I know,” you grinned, “terrifying.” The stars swam in your eyes, and you shivered in the cold night air. “Almost as bad an omen as you getting introspective all of a sudden.”

“Is it?”

You closed your eyes. “Yeah,” you yawned. “It’s creepy. Like how right before the inciting incident of a book, the characters talk about death and then one of them dies.”

“Or when right before the climax,” he offered, “right before the battle’s won, one of them dies?”

“There you go.” A smile graced your lips, features highlighted by the moonlight. “You get it.”

His fingers squeezed your hand a second. “It’s lucky we aren’t in a book, then.”

“You don’t know.” Your eyes drifted open a second, closed again. “I heard that some people think that—“ you yawned again— “that we’re all living for someone else’s amusement. It’s a whole thing.”

“Do they?” He rolled over on top of you, resting his head on your chest with his ear pressed against your heart. It thumped so assuredly, unflinchingly, and the impossibility of it stopping made his chest feel hollow.

You nodded. “And they say that, if that’s true,” your other arm wrapped around them, “then it’s a whole deterministic thing, right? Because writers care about how they write stories, so everything’s set up, if you believe in that sort of thing.”

He closed his eyes softly. “I’m not sure how I feel about that. Someone controlling all my actions, I mean.”

“Well,” you sighed, body relaxing against the earth, “you don’t have to believe in it. Isn’t that your whole shtick, not having to do things?”

“It is, but that doesn’t mean I have control over that.”

Your fingers gently played with his hair. “Venti,” you declare, “we don’t have any control over anything ever. We fight an endless stream of uphill battles based on a hollow belief that the grass will be greener on the other side, and when it turns out that it always is, we feel bad about it.” You squeeze his hand back. “We struggle against our bodies to live long enough to do even the most basic of tasks. It’s all we can do not to keel over.”

He laughed dryly and your boisterous delivery. “You are very optimistic.”

“But,” you continue, ignoring his comment, “that’s what makes life so valuable; it’s so hard to live at all that even being able to talk to you is worth more than almost any gem or vision or whatever thing you want to compare it to.”

“Almost?”

“I will kill a man for good hash browns.” Your chest shook with quiet laughter. “But you get what I’m saying.”

He thought for a moment, nodded. “I think so.” He smiled again, more comfortable now. “You are acting very wise tonight, Y/N.”

“Hey,” you protested, “I’m totally wise! Just not most of the time.”

“A broken clock is right twice a day.”

“Don’t push me, little man.” You looked down at him, pressing your hand against his face. “I can and will push you off.”

He wrapped his arms around your waist tightly. “I’m stronger than I look.”

The rest of the night was a pleasant one. There was a lot of quiet laughter about this and that, huddling in each other's warmth. You had to leave him after a while. You offered to walk him home, but he had insisted on staying out a bit longer. “Go on,” he waved you off, smiling after you. “I’ll be there before morning, I promise.” He would be.

His hand stretched out towards the stars, fingers flexing every once and a while as he examined it for the umpteenth time. It was not a foreign object anymore; when he was younger, he had taken a while to get used to the idea that he was attached to it, for his head to wrap around the fact that it was not his. It had taken him a while to get used to that idea, too, that he was gone forever. As an immortal being, that part of humanity was always hard to accept. There were ways, he supposed, that he could keep you from dying. If other beings like himself had become gods, it was certainly possible for you to join him.

But he could not honestly say that he wanted that for you. Immortality was undeniably terrible. It was a long, unending sludge of an existence, being unable to relate to the bare minimum in regards to humanity. He could write thousands of songs, sing a thousand more, but he would never quite understand those he cared about. It was unfair to even consider it. Still… the idea of seeing you, skin pale, cool, eyes wide and glassy and blood dripping—

He shut his eyes, screwed them shut. Even if you had to die, you would not do it like that. You would die quietly, he knew, in bed. There was no reason you would have gotten involved in anything that gruesome.

It was like you had said. He just needed to hold onto you as long as you would allow. Before you slipped through his fingers, he needed to appreciate you as you were

Venti could only hope that you had enough time for him to remember you by.

List of Works

#genshin venti #genshin impact venti #venti x reader #venti the bard #venti x you #I understand that I am not at all qualified to write this #but he is very pretty #and i do not care #possible ooc #fanfic #oneshots #because I clearly understand my audience #x reader #y/n #who’s going to stop me?#who wants to live forever?#certainly not him #immortality #angst?

74 notes · View notes

authenticcadence18 · 3 years

Text

“Ice Cream and Dances Pt. 2: Electric Boogaloo” Ch. 2

…

HELLO I AM POSTING A FIC UPDATE!!!!!!!! :DD

(Also a disclaimer! This fic uses the phrase “more than friends” a lot, and I wrote the first chapter before I realized that phrase can imply that friendships are lesser than romantic relationships. I want to make it clear that I do not see romantic relationships as inherently more valuable than friendships. Friendship is equally as important!!!! In the context of Phineas and Isabella, starting a romantic relationship would literally be them becoming “more than friends” because they would then be romantic partners AND friends. So, when I use that phrase in this fic moving forward, this is the meaning I’m choosing to interpret it as!)

…

“Ice Cream and Dances” by FrsdGirl

AO3

Previous Chapter

…

Isabella did her best to focus on inhaling and exhaling as Phineas led her back onto the dance floor.

“THIS IS A FRIEND THING.”

Once they found an empty spot, Phineas let go of Isabella’s hand and turned to face her, eyes wide and face flushed and GOODNESS HE LOOKED CUTE—

“HYPOTHETICAL. PLATONIC.”

Somehow, Isabella’s hands found their way to Phineas’s shoulders, though she wasn’t consciously aware of it until she felt him gently place his hands on her waist and oh goodness, friend thing or not, Phineas still wanted to dance with her and be close to her even though they’d already danced earlier aND—

“NO. STOP IT. KEEP IT TOGETHER, GARCIA-SHAPIRO.”

For about half a minute, they swayed platonically (or, well, somewhat platonically), neither saying a word.

Isabella just kept on focusing on breathing, on making sure she didn’t lean too close to Phineas, on keeping the desire to admit she’d actually love to be here with him on a real date at bay.

(She couldn’t have known Phineas was focusing on very similar things.)

Sure, she’d been nervous when they danced like this earlier. But those nerves were nothing compared to the nerves she was experiencing now because NOW, she had much more to worry about.

This was still strictly a friend thing, but it was also now a hypothetical more-than-friends-who-were-on-a-date thing. Except it WASN’T actually hypothetical in Isabella’s case, and she couldn’t help but hope that it might be more than hypothetical for Phineas as well but NO, she couldn’t give in to that hope, that was dangerous, so she needed to maintain a good balance between honesty and nonchalance about all this but that was difficult to do when he was so close and holding her and good grief , why’d she ever taken Buford up on his dare, and—

“Isabella? Are you okay?”

Isabella started and blinked, clearing her head of myriad worries with a shake to find Phineas staring at her with concern in his eyes.

“You kinda spaced out there for a second…” he continued. “And you looked a little worried. Is something wrong? Would you rather do something else?”

“NO!!!!!” Isabella shot back. A few nearby couples darted their heads in their direction, and she winced (the LAST thing she wanted to do was draw more attention to her and Phineas after their “grand entrance”).

“I...I just mean… I’m fine. Really.” She did her best to muster a smile for Phineas’s sake. “Just got lost in thought for a bit, you know?”

Phineas grinned, seemingly relieved to know that she was okay (though that could’ve just been Isabella reading into things). “Been there, done that!” he said.

Isabella chuckled a little, the image of Phineas hunched over his phone flickering in her memory. “I bet! You looked pretty lost in thought while Buford and I were dancing earlier. Who were you texting? Or were you testing out a new app?”

She felt a little more at ease now that she was talking with Phineas (as opposed to drowning in her own thoughts.)

“Huh??” Phineas blinked and bit his lip, shoulders briefly tensing up beneath Isabella’s hands. “...UH, I was just...texting Candace!”

“Really? It must have been an intense conversation, you looked so focused. Did she ask you for advice on a case assignment or something?”

“Oh, no, it wasn’t that… I just….uh” Phineas stared at her for a second and then up at the sky before continuing, “...I talk with her a lot these days. She’s got good advice.”

Isabella smiled and nodded in agreement in response.

(Perhaps she was a little curious to know what exactly Phineas had been discussing with Candace. But she knew he’d tell her if he wanted to, and she didn’t want to press him in case he didn’t.)

In the meantime, she could change the subject.

“So...have you been brainstorming any new projects lately?” she asked. “Other than the Stargazer 3000 of course, though if you want to talk about that I’m all ears!”

Phineas’s eyes practically ignited with excitement, making something flutter and glow in Isabella’s chest.

“Yeah!!!” he exclaimed. “Yesterday Ferb and I started experimenting with levitating carpets, like we did when we were kids! We want to see if we can replicate the effects over a smaller surface. But the technology isn’t quite ready yet…..”

…

“And THAT’S how we plan to modify our pre-existing anti-gravity quantum state lift disk technology to function effectively over a smaller surface area!! We’re planning on finishing up a prototype tomorrow and using it for a project.”

“Cool!! Can I come over and help out?”

“Of course! You never have to ask to come over, Isabella. I’ll—er, we’ll always be glad to have you around.”

“Thanks!”

Sometimes, it was easy to take living across the street from Phineas for granted. Because of that, Isabella was used to his boundless creativity and ideas, used to his uncanny ability to make the impossible possible...but she never wanted to lose sight of how extraordinary just being able to be used to those things was.

Moments like this reminded her that Phineas was brilliant .

And handsome.

….brilliantly handsome.

She cracked a smile at that last thought.

Phineas, fortunately, didn’t ask why she was smiling. He just smiled back...and then tilted his head, his expression morphing from fond to thoughtful.

“.....I just realized something,” he said. “We danced earlier.”

Isabella nodded, unsure where he was going with this.

“I guess, I just realized…. This—you know, us , dancing together—it doesn’t feel much different from how it felt before, when we were dancing but like...strictly as friends. ….uH! Not that we aren’t dancing strictly as friends right now! But...the hypothetical more-than-friends thing you were wondering about...you’d think it would make things feel more different….but if it’s us, it doesn’t. Not really.”

A blush sprawled across Isabella’s face. She’d been so wrapped up in listening to Phineas’s ideas, she’d almost forgotten about the hypothetical more-than-friends thing.

But Phineas apparently hadn’t forgotten.

“Uh—is that still a thing we’re doing?” he asked. “Pretending this is, like…a date? Or thinking about what it would be like if it were? Because I thought we were, but maybe I misunderstood, and if so that’s my bad—”

“No, you didn’t misunderstand!!!” Isabella replied quickly. “And, we can keep pretending this is a date. If you want.”

Phineas exhaled with a smile. “Cool!”

“Yup! Cool!” Isabella agreed.

Whew.

“And, you’re right,” she continued. “It doesn’t feel much different from how it did before...but it feels right. Talking with you feels better than just dancing in silence and staring at each other. I guess other couples might do that, but not us.”

“Yeah!!” Phineas let out a gentle chuckle. “I guess this means, if we were a couple, we wouldn’t act much differently from how we do now.”

“That’s what happens when you fall for your best friend, huh?” Isabella gave Phineas a knowing grin (she was basically a world-renowned expert on this subject). “Since there’s already a great foundation of friendship in place, romantic feelings can just develop naturally from what’s already there.”

….wait a second.

“….uH!!!” she choked, jerking back and clutching her hands to her chest on instinct. “Not that I’d know that personally!! Just, uh! In movies and stuff! That’s how it always goes. Yup. And we’re best friends, so! In this hypothetical scenario, we’d be best friends who fell for each other. Hypothetically.”

“Okaaayyyy time to divert the subject, Garcia-Shapiro.”

“People in movies have it easy….” she continued, trying her best to sound light and casual. “They meet and then, less than two hours later, BOOM! They’re together, true love for life!! Or...at least, they’re together until a sequel comes out and they’ve broken up offscreen just to get back together again….”

(The older Isabella got, the less patience she had for subpar romance movies and subplots.)

“Yeah….it’s a lot harder in real life...” Phineas agreed quietly. “Though, we’d be remiss if we didn’t talk about how it is hard for couples in TV shows. Like, Candace used to watch this show where the two main characters were in love but they didn’t realize it, and they kept on ALMOST confessing or getting together but didn’t actually get together until the very end. She’d get so frustrated with them, called them the ‘token will they/won’t they couple.’ There were a few steady side-couples though, Candace always used to say they made watching the show a little easier.”

He leaned in, a conspiratorial twinkle in his eye, and whispered, “She always used to compare herself and Jeremy to the main couple, but between you and me, the two of them are definitely more the ‘steady side-couple’ type.”

Isabella snickered. “ Oh yeah. They had it easy! They liked each other from the beginning, went on dates, started officially dating and then just...stayed that way.”

“If only it were always that simple….” Phineas sighed.

“If Candace and Jeremy are a steady side couple, what would that make us?” Isabella asked.

She flinched and quickly added, “uH!!! In a hypothetical sense!!!!”

Phineas blinked. “UM!!! That’s a great question!!!”

...was he blushing? Or was it a trick of the light?

“I guess, uh….we’d be the token ‘will they/won’t they’ couple?”

he rubbed the back of his neck and chucked slightly. “I mean, uh...in your hypothetical scenario, I’m not sure if we’d already be together or if this would be our first time doing something together. Together -together, I mean. On a date, you know. But, uh…….. Okay, let’s say I had feelings for you. Hypothetically. I’d have no reason to believe you returned those feelings.”

Isabella bit her lip and resisted the urge to roll her eyes into the nearest adjacent galaxy.

That was Phineas, alright. Oblivious as always.

“...BUT!!” he continued, “if you returned them without knowing about MY feelings, that would be a classic ‘will they/won’t they’ scenario. At least, according to Candace, anyway….yup….”

He suddenly seemed quite interested in staring at the grass beneath their feet.

Isabella followed his gaze and studied the ground for a bit, both to avoid pondering their hypothetical couple status any longer AND because, if Phineas was staring at the grass, it likely meant something interesting was happening down there.

...except nothing interesting was happening.

“.....okay, there’s no way the grass is interesting enough to warrant us staring at it for this long,” she mused. “You didn’t get hit with a dull and boring ray, did you?”

(She was mostly joking, but one could never be too careful in Danville.)

Phineas glanced back up at her and just stared at a moment before cracking a smile.

“Funny you should mention that….i was JUST thinking about the color beige….”

A moment passed.

And then he started to giggle. Quietly at first…and then not so quietly. His amusement was contagious, and soon Isabella was caught up in it too, the two of them grinning and laughing and as carefree as could be, all the awkwardness momentarily gone.

(The ruckus garnered some more stares, as the music playing was still pretty soft….but Isabella didn’t really care about that anymore. Having fun with Phineas was way more important than worrying about what others thought.)

Gradually, their laughter died down, with Phineas giving one final giggle and wiping a tear from his cheek before placing his hand back on Isabella’s waist, eyes shining with mirth.

Isabella gazed at him with a beaming smile.

There was just something about Phineas’s laughter, something about the way he smiled so brightly and expressed such genuine positivity so effortlessly, that had fascinated her and made her head spin since they were kids....and right now, it was hard to feel scared of expressing her true feelings for him.

(In other words, she was sooo in love with him right now.)

“You know….” she whispered with a flirtatious grin, “...if WE were dating—uh, on a date, within the parameters of the hypothetical more-than-friends thing!!!”

Good save, Garcia-Shapiro.

“...I’d have told you how handsome you look by now.”

“Huh?” Phineas blinked and glanced down at his outfit. “...Oh! Thanks! ...but, I’m not really dressed for a date….I wear this shirt at least once a week, and I haven't brushed my hair since this morning.”

“Aw, Phineas, you ALWAYS look handsome,” Isabella assured him. “No matter what. I mean, between the red hair and all your freckles and your acute nose and your SMILE, I’m not sure how anyone could NOT see how handsome you are…. And it’s not just your looks either, it’s your laugh and the way you can light up anyone and anything around you just by being you, it all makes you handsome, and……”

A bit of the happy fog in Isabella’s brain evaporated, allowing her to realize she’d been rambling to Phineas about how handsome he was for the past 20 seconds.

Oops.

“uH!!!! That is! That’s what I would say if this wasn’t a friend thing! But it is! So! Uh. You can just forget I said all that, if you want….”

She winced and clenched her eyes shut. That had been too much, she’d totally taken things too far, and now Phineas would probably be super weirded out...

Except.

One glance at Phineas revealed he wasn’t weirded out at all. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes soft, mouth slightly agape with what might have been astonishment.

He looked flustered, but in a good way.

And then...he smiled again. He smiled at her.

And it was a warm smile, a gentle smile, perhaps the most adoration-filled smile Isabella had ever seen and it was directed at her and doing funny things to her heart.

“Well….” he whispered softly, “...if this weren’t a friend thing, I’d have already told you you look as beautiful as ever…. But, since this is a friend thing and I haven’t told you yet….I’ll just tell you now. Isabella, you look as beautiful as ever.”

He grinned before continuing on in a manner similar to how Isabella had spoken a bit ago.

“I mean, between your eyes, and your hair, and the way your entire face seems to light up when you smile, and your adorable laughter, and the way you’re brave enough to say whatever’s on your mind…..I don’t think anyone else is as beautiful as you, Isabella. In every sense of the word.”

Isabella’s heart was going to pound right out of her chest. Or perhaps her knees would give out and she’d collapse right here, sprawled across the grass, running Phineas’s words and tender looks over and over again in her head for the foreseeable future.

It wouldn’t be a bad way to spend the rest of the evening.

But Phineas wasn’t done yet. He drew a hand back and then reached out for Isabella’s face...only to flinch and freeze in place.

“...uH!!” he breathed, hand still suspended in mid-air. “....if this were a date, I think I’d unconsciously reach out to brush a lock of hair behind your ear after saying all those things, just to see you better! ...would you be alright with that?”

Isabella didn’t trust herself to piece a coherent sentence together at the moment, but she knew she’d definitely be alright with that, so she nodded her head.

Phineas inhaled and tentatively reached out until his fingers were gracing Isabella’s cheek and then ever-so-gently brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

And once again, Isabella did her best to focus on inhaling and exhaling, on staying present in the moment…but this time, she wasn’t constantly reminding herself this was just pretend.

Because….what if it wasn’t?

Phineas was one of the most authentic people Isabella knew. Authentic to a fault, almost.

And that trademark authenticity, which she’d come to recognize in all of his inventions and actions and words in the years they’d been friends…..she recognized it now. In the hand cradling her face and the eyes gazing at her softly and the tender smile that hovered a mere foot or two from her own.

…perhaps Phineas had tried to ask her here on a date earlier.

Perhaps Buford had been right.

…

Thanks for reading!! And thanks as always to the lovely FrsdGirl for inspiring this fic and allowing me to write it and also for being just, the best ever, I adore you my friend🥺💕.

This isn’t the end btw, I know how this is gonna end, just haven’t written it properly yet!

#surprise it is a late night fic!#phineas and ferb #cadence writes #pnf fic #phinabella #phinbella #isabella garcia shapiro #phineas flynn

26 notes · View notes

summerofsnowflakes · 3 years

Text

Battle of the Bands (Alive!Luke Patterson x Reader)

Modern AU - Alive! Luke Patterson x Reader

Warnings: Swearing and drinking that’s about it.

Word Count - 7.6K (it’s a looooong on)

A/N Notes: So I have aged everyone up a bit so they aren’t underage drinking because it didn’t really work with my fic idea! it’s purrrrre fluff btw! Also disclaimer this is my first JAPT story so I am hoping that i’ve done the characters justice! Also I am tagging @theselilwonders and @ryjo-92 because we have all been in this together and I probs wouldn’t have written this without speaking to you guys!

"We are Julie and the Phantoms!" Luke announced to the audience of the Resident bar in downtown L.A; they erupted in loud cheers and Luke couldn't help but grin gleefully at them.

"Tell your friends!" His band mates answered him in unison, before making their way off stage giddily. Stumbling to the back room of the club; or, their makeshift dressing room for the evening, it was a mixture of sweaty hugs and cheers of glee. Alex collapsed on the sofa with a contented sigh, his drum sticks firmly glued in the clasp of his grip. "That was our best show to date." He cried,

bolting upright to look at the other three. "Seriously guys, we keep playing like that and someone will take a chance on us." He continued, before flopping back down horizontally. With a small, proud smile Julie silently made her way to the seat in front of the mirror, leaving the boys to their own antics.

"We'll be fighting off all the label execs." Luke agreed with a punch to the air, Reggie followed suit with a quick one, two punch as well. As they grappled with their non-existent opponents, they saw a small window of opportunity present itself. Alex had laid his baseball cap over the front of his face, unable to see the unspoken plot that was being laid out against him. More than that, he wasn't aware of how truly vulnerable he had made himself. "Ahhhhhhh." They roared in unison as they raced towards him and bundled their bodies on top of him.

"No get off of me." he squirmed under them but it was too late, they had already won. "You guys are the worst." He huffed.

Reggie being closest to Alex's face sent a triumphant smile. "You would've done the same." He pointed out and Alex couldn't argue with that logic. "Dude, you're so sweaty." Luke announced, sparking a series of bickering that would continue for who knows how long. On the other side of the room, away from the boy's and unnoticed by the continuous squabbling, Julie had lost herself in the labyrinth of her mind. She couldn't help but find this whole experience so bittersweet. Wanting, willing herself to enjoy this moment and revel in the ever growing success of the band. After all, the guys had really lifted up after so long down in the dumps and she would always be thankful for that. For the most part she did enjoy it; but, every so often she would feel like a part of her was missing and have a dark five minutes to herself. Deep down she wished so badly to share their successes with her mum, it was cruel that she wasn't by her side through this. She dropped her head down, unable to look at herself in the mirror anymore tonight. All she saw was her mum staring back at her through her own eyes, it just made the grief creep further into her skin. She let out a soft sniffle and tried to conceal the quiet tears that had fallen from her eyes, but was immediately engulfed in a warm and still slightly sweaty group hug. A relieved breath left her mouth and through a strained voice uttered her gratitude. "Thank you, guys."

"She's here, even though you don't see her." Luke replied.

"And I bet she's super proud of you for hitting the note you've been working on all week." Alex continued.

"Oh and I bet she liked my new riff too." Reggie announced. No one felt like bursting his bubble, but Alex couldn't help shaking his head. Julie allowed herself to breath in the safety of her bandmates arms and felt her spirits lift themselves back. She wiped away her tears as the group dispersed.

With the gig finished, the band paid and some fans met outside the venue; the group had begun to pack up their instruments and load them into the back of Alex's Peace and Love van. Aside from his drum kit, this was his most prized possession and with each gig the band played they added a new decoration to the exterior of the van; it was a collection of their journey together. Luke was in the middle of passing his guitar to Alex who was situated inside the back of the van when he heard his phone ding. He felt his hopes skyrocket and was not disappointed when he read the message on the small bright screen. He couldn't fight the grin as it etched itself across his face. "What's got you so smiley?" Alex inquired, Luke had stopped dead in his tracks and was consumed by his phone. Alex's words went unheard.

"Party at the Flake's apartment." Luke announced.

"Ooooh Luke did you giiiirrrlfriend tell you that?" Reggie called from the driver's seat of the van. Luke didn't need to see the bass player to know the teasing face he was pulling.

"She's not my girlfriend!" He groaned.

"No but you want her to be."

"Only a matter of time!" Reggie and Alex spoke in unison before turning to one another and high fiving. Luke remained in his place by the back doors of the van but turned away from them to hide his ever growing smile. Julie flew out of the backdoor with a spring in her step, a considerable improvement from earlier. "Okay, I need to know where the party is tonight, because I need to text Flynn an address and blow off some serious steam!" She declared as stuck a small lollipop sticker to the side of the van. She had taken from the desk in their makeshift dressing room. Julie climbed into the back of the van with Alex without protest, they were both packed tightly between the drum kit and opposite van walls.

"When you say steam, you mean Nick right?" Luke asked with a smirk as he got in the front next to Reggie.

"Luke you gonna follow Y/n around like a puppy dog all night again?" Julie retorted playfully, which earned a scoff from the guitarist. The band made their way out of downtown L.A., towards the more shady part of town and to the apartment that was home to The Winter Flakes. A four piece band: Jamie their drummer, Nick their guitarist, Y/n their bassist and Lucie the signer. Julie and the guys had become very good friends with over the last few months. Luke had grown to love about the bar scene in L.A. these days, it was a tight-knit community, each and every band was working to make it in the music industry but they were all supportive of one another. It was a collective win for everyone when someone got signed to a label. It came with a sense of pride knowing that the dream was possible. The Winter Flakes had gotten pretty close, closer than Julie and the Phantoms but they were overlooked and had their deal stolen by a girl band whose daddy's paid their way in. The evening they were let down, was the night that the two bands solidified their friendship under the collective commiserations and a whole lot of alcohol. Since that night many months ago, Luke had found his brain was constantly clouded by thoughts of the Flake's bassist Y/n, they had become inseparable when they all hung out together. Luke couldn't deny his feelings for her and he knew she felt the same way, but she was very elusive and unwilling to move away from a flirty relationship mixed with the occasional drunk kiss. Despite the mixed signals he found his heartbeat speeding up as they neared the apartment, excited to see her face and worried he would say something stupid. Julie had also been swept off her feet by the other band's guitarist Nick and was currently going down the same worm hole of excited worry that Luke was. Reggie interrupted the dual existential crisis from taking place as he pulled roughly into the parking lot outside the building block and sent everyone in the van flying. The bickering was put on hold immediately as their eardrums were met with a loud bass that thudded through them from the bottom floor apartment and instead they broke out into a unanimous cheer. The Winter Flakes were known for their killer parties and it seemed tonight wouldn't be any different. Unsurprisingly, the quaint sized apartment was packed as tighter than a One direction concert and an even larger group of party goers had spilled on to the dingy patio area. Although this was the normal state of a party at the Flakes, Luke was always astounded when he first walked in. He could never understand why or how so many people showed up, but that was the beauty of L.A, everyone was down to party whenever. Julie linked her arm with Reggie's and with a quick wave they wandered off into the sea of people, while Luke and Alex made their way to Jamie's room. For party regulars this was known as the designated hiding place for the good alcohol, there was a special knock and everything. The door swung open just as Alex raised his hand to knock and he was met with the sight of a beautiful tanned skinned man with long black hair. He felt the air leave his lungs, he was a frozen statue although his brain was screaming at him to move. "Hey man, sorry I didn't mean to shock you." The demi-god looking guy chuckled in his direction. Alex's cheeks flared a tomato red and he laughed back embarrassed, he tried to find his voice through the waves of his own awkwardness; but he had turned into a bumbling mess and couldn't stutter more than a few syllables out. Luke desperately wanted to intervene and help his friend but in a very guilty way he was also enjoying watching Alex navigate talking to an incredibly hot guy.

From inside the room, which Alex and Luke had still not managed to get into a familiar angelic voice called out to them. "You guys are here!" Y/n spoke as she came towards them, she sent Luke a shy smile before continuing. "And I see you guys have met Willie. Willie, this is Alex and Luke from Julie and the Phantoms. Come in and I'll get you some drinks."

"I think Alex is broken." Luke whispered to Y/n as he helped her pour out the alcohol.

She turned to him, her eyes bright with excitement. "Nah, he just needs some liquid courage is all." They watched as Alex tried to interact with Willie like a normal human being, with each sip of his very large drink his confidence grew and he was beginning to string whole sentences together. Luke grabbed Y/n's hand, interlacing their fingertips and turned her to face him. "Hey." He uttered quietly against the backdrop of loud music.

"Hi." She replied and broke their eye contact. Luke noticed and smiled, she often looked away when she wanted to ask someone a question. Eye contact wasn't her strong point. Luke had memorised these small things about her. "Do you think they'll be alright on their own for a little bit?" I want to show you something in my room." She kept her voice low, although Alex and Willie couldn't hear them speaking over the pounding baseline.

"I think they'll manage, they're not paying attention to us now anyway." He reasoned and squeezed her hand lightly. Hands still intertwined, Y/n pulled Luke into her room. This was the first time he had been in her room and he couldn't ignore the nervousness bubble up in his stomach. They reluctantly detangled their hands and Y/n lifted up her mattress to reveal a tatty cardboard box with a bunch of records piled into them. She pulled out the box, searching for one as Luke took in the sight of her room. There were clothes draped everywhere and it was covered in fairy lights of all shapes and sizes, the walls coated with scattered photographs. He recognised his face on a polaroid pinned to the wall above the head of the bed frame. He smiled at the memory, Luke's pride had been hurt because Alex had suggested that he was the tallest in their band. So naturally they used Y/n and Julie (the two shortest members of each band) to compare their heights. The room reminded him so much of her and he liked the character it had, sure the walls were plastered with cracks and the paint was peeling everywhere, but she had made it feel homely. "Got it! Okay close your eyes please." Y/n requested and Luke compiled, she placed a record in his hand "Open." Luke's eyes adjusted to the low light again and focused on the shabby grey cardboard. In big white letters printed on the vinyl cover was The Damned: Live in Newcastle and Luke let out an involuntary gasp. "You found it! How did you find it?"

"Dude I have no idea, it was pure luck. I was in this dingy little store in Fairfax yesterday and it was like a shiny beacon under all the crap they had." Y/n exclaimed excitedly.

"I've been looking for this record for years and you find it by accident! This automatically boosts respectability of your record collection Y/n."

"You mean it completes your collection for The Damned." She replied. Luke lifted his eyes to meet hers, confusion clear on his face. "I didn't buy this for myself dummy! This is yours."

"But this must've cost-" Luke began but Y/n cut him off as she closed the distance between them and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. She was sure he could hear her loud heartbeat, they hadn't been this intimate together while they were both sober, it was usually only under the influence. Luke's throat went dry with anticipation, he felt as though his heart beat had stopped entirely. "Kiss me Luke." She whispered. Tentatively, Luke leaned towards her until they were millimetres away from one another and softy bought his lips to meet hers. "Y/n, we need you out here for a band related emergency babe. Lucie is about to do something stupid." Jamie's voice boomed as he burst into the room, interrupting the peaceful moment. "Shit, sorry guys." The pair jumped away from one another and tried to act as casual as possible but it was too late they had already been caught. She nodded at her band mate and mentioned she would be out shortly. With Jamie gone as quick as he appeared, they let out awkward laughs. Y/n turned to Luke once more and grabbed his hand, "to be continued?" She inquired sweetly and Luke nodded softly. The moon was high in the sky and the party was in full swing, the music was blaring and drinks were being passed around. The number of people had decreased significantly but by no means had the party died. Luke and Y/n had set themselves away from the main party, opting to chill outside on the worn out leather sofas that had been left on the patio by the previous tenants. Y/n was positioned comfortably in Luke's lap and he held onto her tightly, they had been lost in discussion with one another. Slowly but surely that were joined by their friends: Reggie had found the pair first and had acquired Y/n's bass earlier in the night. He sat opposite them on the other couch and positioned himself upside down and softly strummed any bass riffs that came to his mind. Alex, Jamie and Wille had found the trio next, Alex had his hands tangled with Wille's, he was gleaming. The three of them had sat in a little circle and started a deep discussion about music conspiracies, Alex and Willie were reluctant to let go of one another. Flynn and Lucie giggled their way over to the group. Flynn was very protective of Lucie, who was the youngest of the Flakes and the most innocent too; in fact, the group as a whole treated her as though she was made of glass, but she didn't mind at all. Julie and Nick stumbled over last, after dancing rather poorly in the crowds for the majority of the night. They were a flurry of cuteness as they plopped themselves down next to Flynn and Lucie on the floor. Nick rested his arm over Julie's shoulder, keeping her tucked into his side. Reggie continued to provide a soundtrack to their chilled hangout, they had almost forgotten that they were having a party. “Luke.” Reggie called, pulling Luke’s eyes away from closely studying Y/n’s face, he nodded his head at Reggie. “Whoa, one sec. I have been upside down for too long! Okay truth of dare?” Reggie inquired, wiggling his eyebrows at the guitarist.

“Sorry I didn’t realise we were at a 12 years old’s birthday party.” Flynn immediately interjected.

“I just wanted to do a group activity, last time we played it was funny.” Reggie replied pouting.

“Truth” Luke replied and Y/n gave him a questioning look, she mouthed a dramatic 'loser' at him and he laughed.

“Oh yeah, so much fun answering questions truthfully.” Flynn retorted. “Okay who hurt you during this game?” Julie asked her best friend. Despite Flynn’s early protests the game continued, it revived the group after a very peaceful slump. It had turned into a game of truths rather than dares; Alex had admitted that he sucked his thumb in his sleep until he was 14, Julie had opened up about her peanut butter addiction, Nick had told everyone that he never understood the ACDC hype, he had only ever pretended to like them. This did not go down well with anyone, least of Jamie who was a classic rock puritan at heart. Everyone seemed to steer clear of the dares, no one felt like doing anything too stupid like the last time they had played when Reggie gave Lucie the least sexy lap dance in history. Flynn directed her attention to Y/n and Luke, "Y/n, you haven't gone yet. Truth or dare?" She asked. Y/n was quiet for a moment, every time she played this her turn always centred around Luke, so naturally she was feeling nervous.

"ummm… dare" she answered, regretting it as soon as the words left her mouth.

"I dare you to go on a date with me." Luke stated before Flynn could think of anything. Everyone went silent, Y/n looked down at him dumbfounded by his outburst. She felt stuck in the moment, watching the slow motion version. She let out a large shaky breath as she searched Luke's face to make sure it was serious and smiled at him. She definitely would have preferred if this had been done privately, but she knew how passionate Luke was and how he acted on impulse when he really wanted something. This was his way of showing how serious he was. Just as Y/n opened her mouth to speak, Nick cut in.

"Luke you're a joker dude! You know Y/n won't go on a date with you, she's too scared of commitment." He laughed loudly. "I guarantee she wouldn't even go on a date with you if she lost a bet. She's too traumatized by her parents." Nick hadn't noticed that every pair of eyes on him were willing him to stop talking at that moment.

"Could we maybe not talk about this please?" Y/n asked pointedly, staring daggers into Nick. The realisation of his announcement had hit him and he felt instantly guilty, he patiently waited for the ground to swallow him up whole and hope Y/n wouldn't kill him for it later. Y/n huffed loudly and turned her head away from the group and rested it on Luke's shoulder. Slowly, Alex and Flynn worked on moving the conversation away from the game and the tension caused by Nick. Luke didn't join in with the group discussion, he was very aware that his question had gone unanswered and for him it hung in the air awkwardly. He decided to put it aside because he knew Y/n needed comfort from her friend first, everything else could wait for now. He tightened his grip around her waist and rubbed soft soothing circles on her hand. "I was going to say yes." She whispered in his ear loud enough for him to hear and Luke grinned childishly. Y/n stared off at the grimy, crumbling wall on the other side of the patio that was illuminated by a floodlight. She wasn't really looking at it though she was replaying the last five minutes in her mind. Annoyed that Nick had messed up her chance at a date with Luke. She knew it wasn't meant maliciously, he just got a bit mouthy when he had a drink, but that didn't make it any easier and she felt incredibly embarrassed. She sat for another minute or so stewing. She made a quick decision not to let Nick's words and the past win. "Let's propose a bet then." She announced, once again the group was brought to a complete silence, surprised by her outburst. "How about a battle of the bands?" Reggie proposed, his happy go lucky smile eased the tension still thick in the air.

"Reggie, that's brilliant." Julie replied, her voice laced with shock.

"Thank you Julie."

Luke looked up at Y/n to gauge her opinion and saw the small smile dance across her lips. He had a lightbulb moment and for the second time that night impulsively went along with his brain. "How about if the loser pays for dinner." He asked.

"Deal." Y/n replied without hesitation. "Hold up! That means I go on a date with you either way, you tricked me Patterson!" She cried and pushed his chest as though she meant to move away but Luke had no intention of letting her move anywhere and held her firmly in place. Alex raised his hand silently as the chatter resumed once again. "I don't mean to be a bummer guys, because Luke has been trying to get you to go on a date with him for months now. But how are we going to organise a battle of the bands? We don't exactly have a spare club to play in when we feel like it."

"Dude!" Luke shouted and felt his face heat up at Alex's admission.

"What? Now you've both been embarrassed by your friends tonight, I was just evening the playing field." Alex replied.

"I have a friend that works in the Silverlake Lounge, I could probably call in a favour from." Nick spoke sheepishly and sent a hopeful smile in Y/n's direction. "Okay Nicky-poo coming through and trying to rectify his mistakes! Leave the rest to me guys, I'll generate some buzz on social medias and get the place packed out." Flynn practically sang to the group. ------ Night had fallen on the avenue where hopes and dreams came to life, Sunset Boulevard was alive with the buzzing energy of tipsy souls. In the back office of the Silverlake Lounge Julie and the Phantoms and The Winter Flakes were preparing for the battle ahead of them. There was an occasional mix between the two groups, that was mainly some light and friendly trash talking, but mostly he bands went about their separate routines. While this had started out as a friendly bet and to give Y/n and Luke the push they needed to go on a date, it had turned into a serious matter of pride very quickly. Neither band wanted to lose. Luke was meant to be tuning his guitar but the harder he tried to focus on the task at hand, the more his eyes wandered over to the other side of the room where Y/n stood with Lucie applying her makeup for tonight. He watched as she ran her lipstick across her plump lis and so badly wanted to be the one that smeared it. "Psst." Luke heard from his side, Alex watching him with a worried look on his face. "The heart eyes you're making in her direction aren’t going to make us win dude.”

"What are you talking about? I'm not making heart eyes." Luke exclaimed in a hushed tone.

"You've been tuning your guitar for 50 minutes Luke…" Reggie chimed in quietly. Luke huffed and pulled himself up from his seat, opting to move next to Julie who was also applying her makeup and made small talk with her about their set. "We're ready for you guys." Flynn announced as she popped her head into the room with the bands inside. Everyone followed and took in the large crowd that Flynn had managed to pull into the bar for the evening, she really was a social media ninja. As they approached the stage, Flynn held her hand up to stop everyone and spoke again. "I'm the M.C for tonight, so I'm going to go on and intro the evening and get the crowd going, good luck to both of you." "Is everybody ready for tonight?!!" Flynn boomed into the mic and the crowd cheered loudly. "Awesome!! Tonight we need you, the crowd, to decide which band you think is the best in our BATTLE OF THE BANDS!" She paused and allowed the crowd to roar in response. "So here's how it's gonna go down. We have two bands performing tonight, after both have played, I am going to hold a vote based on cheers. This is serious shit you guys, these bands are performing for ultimate bragging rights and also the success of a date is at stake too." Watching Flynn interact with the crowd was astounding, she had them eating out of the palm of her hand. "Time to put ya hands up, do a little dance, yup. Here they are now, it's Julie and the Phantoms." Flynn rapped into the mic. Julie and the guys made their way onto the stage. From his position on stage he turned and blew Y/n a kiss, sending her a wink too. Y/n couldn't deny the butterflies that erupted in her stomach but her face remained expressionless, she had her game face on and was determined to win. There wasn't much time to think about her feelings as the band began playing. They started their three song set with Finally Free and unsurprisingly the whole room was captivated by the upbeat tempo and Julie sang her heart out sounding fantastic. The crowd really responded to them and Y/n and her band mates watched as the band got swept up in their own greatness. They played Bright next which true to the first song went down well with the audience. Y/n enjoyed watching Luke interact with the audience, he was his usual cheeky self but she loved how his face lit up when they responded to him. Luke quietened everyone down as the second song came to a close. "Okay, so this last song is a new one and it's dedicated to a very special lady who is out there tonight. This is Rainbow." Y/n felt her throat go dry and her heart beat out of her chest rapidly. Y/n desperately tried to take in the lyrics as he Luke sang lead to one of the happiest songs. She tried to fight the feeling of floating that was overcoming her and when Luke stole a glance in her direction with the widest grin he could muster while signing she lost the battle completely. She was in euphoria. The crowd hollered and cheered loudly as the band walked off stage and Flynn announced there would be a short break so that The Winter Flakes could set up properly.

"Cute song." Y/n stated at Luke walked towards her.

"You liked it?" Luke asked hopefully and she nodded shyly before turning on her heels and walking over to her band of best friends, leaving Luke dying for more from her.

The Winter Flakes had huddled up, crowding in close together. They were silent for a minute until they realised they hadn't decided who was going to do the talk. "Shall I take this one?" Lucie asked and they nodded in response. "Okay. Let's go out there tonight and do what we do best! There's a lot of love in this room but ultimately we need to show this crowd that we're even more awesome than Julie and the Phantoms, right?! Let's do this, I love you awesome Flakes."

"Lu-lu that was beautiful!" Jamie replied. "Let's go Flakes!"

As they finished up their huddle, Flynn was back on the stage ready to introduce them. "Now give it up for our second but equally awesome band tonight. These guys worked their way to the top and they are an indie rock dream. Now give it up for The Winter Flakes." She boomed into the mic.

The Flakes had a different sound to Julie and the Phantoms and the crowd loved the change in tempo and sound, they had a softer indie vibe to begin with but they were just warming up they're heavier stuff would come along shortly. They kicked it up a notch after the first song. The Flakes were massively inspired by the rhythm and bass sounds of The Clash and always tried to connect with their crowd with familiarity of classic sound samples and make them unfamiliar with their own sound. They drew the crowd in with their sweet and whimsical melodies and by the end of their set the crowd and Luke had fallen in love with the soulful bass lines. Their set flew by in flash, and as quickly as they were on stage, they were back off again.

"Thanks for being our opening act guys." Y/n remarked jokingly, sending a sly wink in Luke's direction.

"We'll just see about that." Alex retorted before faking a hair flip and turning his back on her. "Are you guys ready to scream for your winner!!" Flynn cried into the mic. "Okay, when I say the band name I need to go as crazy as you can!" She said pulling out her phone and getting her cheer measuring app open. "Give it up for Julie. And the Phantooooommmms!" The crowd responded with ear piercing shouts and screams and Flynn held a finger in her ear to drown them out as she measured the noise level and waited for them to calm back down. The Winter Flakes collectively felt the spirits lower at how loud the crowd hollered for the other band and Y/n couldn't help but cross fingers, hiding them behind her back so no one else could see. "Now let me hear you go wild for The Winnnnnteeer Flaaakkkkkess!!" The crowd were equally as loud as they had been movements ago, they went mental.

For all eight people at the side of the stage, it was too close to call. The air was tense, they all waited anxiously for Flynn to read out the verdict. "And the winners with a total of 0.5 decibel louder is… Julie and the Phantoms!" The crowd went crazy once again and Luke and the other's went back on stage to thank the crowd. Y/n's stomach dropped, although she was happy for her friends, she couldn't help but feel disappointed. The Winter Flakes were mostly graceful losers but there was an air of bitterness amongst the band members as they signed autographs for fans outside the bar. Both bands stayed out the back for an hour or so after they had all finished up and Nick had managed to talk the manager into letting them leave their instruments in back until the next morning. They had all signed so many body parts and it was a mutual feeling of sore cramped hands. Y/n had noticed all the attention that Luke had gotten by the ladies in the crowd, she couldn’t really blame them but it only worsened her mood. She signed so many things that night but the last group really struck a cord with her. She signed an EP for a girl in a small group had clearly snuck in to see them all tonight. They were definitely underage, but they reminded her of herself at that age. In the midst of conversation, the girls asked her, "so do you know who Luke wrote that song for?" Needless to say the question floored her entirely.

"Um… Luke can be quite mysterious about the meanings of his songs." She replied, the humid air on the L.A. night suddenly felt suffocating.

"I would kill for someone to write a song like that for me." Another girl chimed in and the whole group agreed. Y/n smiled at them and felt her mood finally lift, she was lucky to be in the position they were all dying to be and although her band didn't win, at least she still got to connect with fans. After all, they didn't lose by that much but that didn’t mean she wasn't going to mess with Luke. With the last few stragglers spoken to and final signings done, everyone was ready for a drink. The group settled on a bar that was just off the strip. They wanted to blow off steam, but it was a place that was quieter and where they could all chat amongst themselves. Luke had gotten caught behind the rest of the group, seeming to be the most popular among the crowd tonight. He made his way into the bar and spotted the group in a large booth, chatting and laughing away. He could help the shit eating grin that was splayed across his face as he approached his friends. Y/n sat on the end of the sofa, staring at her drink; as though she was trying to move it with her mind. Y/n hadn't noticed Luke as he neared the table and cleared his throat to get her attention.

"Can you squig up a bit for me?" He inquired, still wearing that grin that made her want to punch him in the face; as much as she hated to admit it, Y/n was a very sore loser and took these sort of things to heart. Luke could practically hear the steam coming out her ears as she tried incredibly hard not to look in his direction. He tentatively slipped his hand under the table and laced their fingers together, squeezing softly. She repeated his action but still refused to look at him. He leaned in close to her, "Y/n. Stop ignoring me…" He chuckled softly with a smirk.

"No." She replied. She turned away not letting go of his hand.

"But we should be celebrating." He proclaimed, tugging on her hand and pulling her into him and offering up his best pouty face.

"My band lost, very unfairly I might add. I am not celebrating." Y/n replied sulkily, despite her brain screaming at her to let it go as she stared at his adorable expression.

"Are you suggesting foul play?"

"Julie and Flynn are best friends, that's an unfair advantage!" She huffed, before crossing her arms over her chest.

"Flynn might kill you if she hears you say that." He laughed earning an eye roll from Y/n and she went back to ignoring him. "Come on, some good came from losing. It was always a win-win-win situation, I get to take you on a date now." He continued.

"Woah! Not a chance." She replied in disbelief, Luke's heart stopped at her words. "No loser pays and I think the person paying should be planning the date. I'm taking you on a date Luke." She replied smirking.

"Okay champ, I'll leave it to you. I'll pick you up at 8pm." He asked holding his hand out to her, she took it gracefully before pulling him close and placing a soft kiss on his cheek. From across the table Alex and Julie watched their friends. "I feel like they're going to be one of the really gross couples." Alex observed. "But at least this is finally happening."

"They definitely will be; but I think it's good, they're good for each other. " Julie replied with a smile.

"It's about time if you ask me." Reggie chimed in. ----- "I can't do this!" Y/n proclaimed as she flopped onto her overcrowded bed beside Jamie and Lucie who were piled under her entire wardrobe of clothes. Her makeup and hair were not yet styled and she had tried on every piece of clothing she owned with very little success. "I don't have anything to wear it's just not meant to be." She groaned.

"You need to chill babes. You could put a bin liner on and Luke would pull that adorable little gawppy face with heart eyes." Lucie replied. Jamie pulled himself up off the bed, the clothes that had been resting on him went flying. It made Y/n's room even more of a mess, but he took no notice as paced slowly back and forth. "While I do agree with Lucie, I think you still need a killer fit for tonight. If nothing else just to make yourself feel more relaxed. Now sit, I am going to do your makeup, Lucie will style your hair and we will circle back to the outfit situation later." He declared, pointing at the desk chair he had bought earlier from his room. The pair worked their magic sorting everything for their friend; whilst Y/n sat back feeling as though she was the main character in the middle of rom-com movie montage, it actually took her mind off of how sick she felt. For her outfit they finally settled on a pair of black shorts with fishnets underneath and they paired it with one of Jamie's oversized t-shirts and some doc martens. It was a signature look for Y/n and Jamie was correct, it helped ease her nerves ever calm. Panic arose in the pit of her stomach when the door went and the three of them all stood up in a hurry to answer the door. "I got this guys, it probably looks better if I don't answer the door with my mum and dad escorting me." Y/n chuckled and gave them both a quick hug. "Thank you for all your help tonight." Luke paced anxiously on the other side, waiting for the door to open. His heart raced when it happened and his eyes lit up when he saw her.

"Ready to go?" He asked hopefully, to which Y/n nodded, not fully trusting her voice in the moment. He turned on his heels quickly and raced toward Alex's van. With his back turned Y/n was able to take in his appearance, he had gone casual just like she had. In truth they had matched up with their Iron Maiden band shirts but she noticed he had his good vans on instead of his regular battered ones. That didn't seem like a big deal, but she knew how serious that was for him and she smiled to herself. "Oh crap, I forget to bring you flowers. I'm so sorry." He stuttered out as they climbed into the van. Y/n relaxed at his words and laughed softly. "Dude, it's fine, there's no need for flowers. I am not the biggest fan of flowers anyway, it brings me back to the fact that my dad would always return from his 'business trips' with guilt flowers for my mum." She replied before cringing at her words. "Wow. I didn't mean to overshare like that at the start of our date."

"Hey, it's cool. I like it when you overshare. It's all safe with me." Luke answered, grabbing her hand as he drove off, gently squeezing it. "Okay we're both clearly nervous, but I think maybe we should start again. How does that sound?" He enquired.

"Sounds good." Y/n responded looking into the back of the vehicle. She was fascinated by the inside of the van, she hadn't seen any of the new additions to it. "I didn't realise Alex had started letting you guys add in here too. Aww you even got our logo over here." Y/n's band had been helping add to the exterior of the van since the moment they had all started hanging out, but Alex had always said the inside was his to decorate only.

"Yeah he had a real change of heart recently. It was so sweet he said that he feels happier inside here knowing that it has more of us in it." Luke cooed. As he drove onto the freeway he broke Y/n away from her short silence. "So… are you going to give me a location, or am I just driving us around aimlessly all night? I don't mind either way, just you know would be good to have a location."

Y/n smiled to herself before turning back to the front. "Well I was just going to see how long you would drive for without asking, I thought it was funny." "Hilarious Y/n." He said side-eyeing her.

"Santa Monica Pier, I know it's touristy but we're going on an old fashioned fun fair date in one of my favourite places in Cali. ." She exclaimed.

He grinned giddily, "you treat all the boys this way?"

In a small burst of confidence she leaned across to his seat and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "Only the special ones." She whispered sweetly in his ear. The evening sun shone brightly on the pier, the colourful rides stood out under the shinning sun surrounded by the azure water under the pier which sparkled invitingly. It was a beautiful day, one neither of the two would forget. Y/n grabbed Luke's hand and pulled him towards the entrance, they made sure to take advantage of everything the pier had to offer, starting off by heading straight for the big rides, Luke was insistent on getting on the biggest one first and working their way down to the smallest one and Y/n happily obliged. In true gentlemen fashion Luke tried and failed at winning his date a big teddy on the carnival games. Then they made their way to the arcade and went head to head playing skeeball and air hockey, Luke even got the chance to redeem himself and won Y/n a small brown bear from the claw machines. By the time they had finished up inside the arcade arena, the sun had completely set on the fun fair. They had decided on hotdogs and milkshakes for dinner and found themselves a spot on the sand to the side of the pier to sit and eat away from the craziness of the boardwalk. They sat in a comfortable silence as they both devoured their food completely consumed by hunger. Luke finished up with a slurp off his milkshake and turned to look over at Y/n, who was staring up at the luminous theme park rides captivated by it. He reached out and draped his arm over her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. She leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Enjoying yourself?" She asked tentatively.

Luke replied by placing a gentle kiss to her forehead and then he replied, "best date ever." Y/n replied with a shy smile, resting her head against his. She closed her eyes momentarily and allowed the loud screams from rides above and the soft crashing of the waves to flood her senses. It was soothing, the calmest she had felt in forever and it was made better being beside Luke.

"Shall we have another go on the Ferris wheel?" Luke asked and Y/n hummed softly in response.

"I'm also going to need a rematch on air hockey, because I know you cheated." Y/n exclaimed as they made their way back to the pier. Neither of them could fight their smiles for the remainder of the evening. There was a sense of sadness in the air as Luke pulled up in the parking lot as he had earlier that evening, it felt like a lifetime had gone by and still neither of them wanted the night to end here. Silently, he walked Y/n to the front door with their fingers intertwined, as they approached the door he pulled her back swiftly so they were facing one another. Y/n was startled by the movement and Luke placed his hands on her hips to steady her in place, he looked down at her and smirked that he had managed to catch her off guard. She shook her head, laughing softly, resting her hands on his chest. They were inching closer to one another with each second, Luke's eyes flickered down and glanced at Y/n's lips before moving back to her eyes. Y/n took the final plunge and grabbed on to his t-shirt and closed the final bit of space between them, crashing their lips together. Luke responded and moved his lips against hers, he tightened his grip on her waist ensuring she wasn't going anyway and they melted completely into one another. When they pulled away, Luke rested his forehead against Y/n's and smiled down at her, both of their hearts were beating out of their chests. Reluctantly, they parted from one another and Y/n retreated into the apartment where her bandmates were sprawled out across the entire front room. She collapsed onto the sofa next Jamie with a contented sigh. "Our girl is in loooovvvveeee." Nick called from the opposite sofa. Y/n hid her face in order to hide her smile but certainly didn't deny anything.

Jamie poked at her side playfully. "So tell us how it went."

"Yeah we all saw the steamy goodbye kiss, spill." Lucie exclaimed.

Just as Y/n began to chastise them for being so nosey, her phone chimed and she smiled widely as Luke's name flashed up on her screen. Luke: Not really ready for tonight to end, how bout we go for that aimless drive now?

#julie and the phantoms #japt #luke patterson fanfiction #luke patterson x reader #alex mercer #willex #reggie peters #fluff #summerofsnowflakesfics #self indulgent fic #julie and the phantoms fanfic #julie molina #flynn

94 notes · View notes

classified-bluerose · 5 years

Text

put me back together - quentin beck x reader

a/n: (mild) spiderman: ffh spoilers ahead. probably a very OOC quentin but hey... the man got me clownin’.

quick notes: reader is an avenger, quentin is quentin, this is far too soft tbfh but it’s fanfiction so \_(0-0)_/. just suspend your belief & hope u enjoy!

a/n 2: unedited, unbeta’d. idk man. i’m just in love w jake gyllenhaal (gylenhaal?) and mysterio is hot as hell.

(GIF is not mine)

—

chapter one: breathless

—

quentin beck is a meticulous man - he planned every facet of his revenge plot down to the smallest of details. arranged contingencies and back-up plans and waited, with the patience of a saint, for the correct moment to strike. he ensured any and all top-tier avengers were MIA, left it just long enough for SHIELD to pull together some semblance of it’s former operation but short enough so they were still finding their feet in the aftermath of the Blip. getting around the kid, parker, would be easy enough. he’d been through a tremendous amount of trauma, and quentin could use that to his advantage.

the one thing quentin beck didn’t count on, though, was you.

you, an avenger - or a former avenger, at least - who fell somewhere in the middle of all the others. not by power level, simply by how known you were. the widow and the hawk were rarely spotted and little was known about either, whilst iron man and captain america owned the heart and soul of the entire nation. banner was known for his destructive capabilities and thor worshipped for his literal godliness and appearance.

how shallow the common folk can be, quentin always mused.

then you - powerful, but not plastered across billboards or tv ads. quiet and lowkey, but not quite invisible. quentin was aware of your existence but never paid much attention to it, having heard that, following stark and roger’s deats that you’d quit the superhero charade and disappeared into the ether.

so, the man of mysteries found himself more than a little surprised when fury showed up mexico, with you in tow.

a little bit of panic hits as he watches you appraise the scene - this could be a problem, he thinks to himself, scanning his brain for any possible solution. it is only when he begins to interact with the shield agents that he notices something.

although you are standing in his presence, alive, solid, real, it‘s pretty obvious you aren’t exactly there. haunted images flicker across an otherwise stoic face as shoulders bow from the weight of grief and guilt and trauma. glassy eyes stare through and not at, words mumbled in montone in response to fury.

okay, quentin thinks, hiding a smirk, i can work with this.

—

the plan changes ever-so-slightly before venice. it is simple but brilliant, even if he does say so himself. having already laid the groundwork for his tragic backstory, it is easy to weave your character into the tapestry he was creating.

pained glances, longing expressions, a hesistant greeting - all little, subtle clues hinting to the fact that quentin knew you in his alternate world.

fury picks up on it first, of course. the spy who’s secrets have secrets still has the eye for detail he’s famous for. you, on the other hand, are oblivious to quentin’s actions - obvlious to pretty much anything happening around you. you don’t speak unless directly spoken too, don’t offer insight or advice on how to defeat the elementals. it‘s almost like fury has dragged you here in a bid to convince you to return to the fold.

quentin learns as much as he can about you as he flies over the sea to italy; not much could be gleaned from online sources but he pulls out just enough information to put together a rough sketch of who you are, what you wanted, what you’d lost.

you’d worked with the avengers since 2012, sided with stark in the infamous civil war years later - the idea of you being close to that man was enough to set quentin’s blood boiling - and had fought in both battles against the mad titan thanos. your powers were certainly impressive - your ability to conjure and manipulate fire set off a fresh worry. the final elemental that mysterio would face off against was the one made of ‘’flames’’ - what if you decided your powers would help with the destruction of the molten man?

quentin files that thought away for later as he clicks on a rare picture printed on some trendy news site. he almost doesn’t recognise the girl in the photograph as you. you were younger, looked lighter, did not carry as many ghosts on your back. and you were smiling. wide and bright and shining and quentin struggled to pull himself away from the sight.

when he did, he itemised the information he’d gathered into what he could and couldn’t use to win you over. after all, every superhero needs a love interest to protect, right?

you were close to stark, that much was painfully, bitterly obvious. newsreports following the aftermath of the last battle hinted at an intimate relationship with the black widow, too. both those people were dead and gone and that meant there was something missing in her life. an empty space that quentin was certain he could fill. the battle had caused some damage to your powers - almost like a battery, the effort and strain of fighting thanos had drained your energy quite significantly. you were slowly returning to your original state, but right now you were weakened, hurting. vulnerable.

perfect for quentin.

he gathered his information, updated the team on this latest development, and braced himself for what would come next.

—

when he reaches venice, it’s clear that fury has mentioned to you that quentin has taken an interest. you seem slightly more alert, meeting his gaze for periods longer than a half-second. your body language changes minutely - your arms, usually crossed tight across your chest, now hang looser at your waist, fingers interlaced. it is by no means a huge shift, but enough for quentin to make his move.

after a meeting with agents, fury, and spiderman, he hangs around the base setup, lingering at consoles and waiting for the last of the people to trickle out. you have stayed on to keep an eye on quentin - fury is no fool and recognised that this stranger from some other world could turn out to be just as much a threat as the monsters he was fighting. quentin couldn’t surpress a smile as he thought, oh, you don’t know the half of it.

he quickly rearranges his face when he clears his throat and approaches you, slowly. you glance up. he took his time to savour this moment - this scene he was most excited for.

he smiles, softly. ‘’ hey. i was hoping i’d a get a chance to talk to you. ‘’

no verbal response; you simply gaze at him expectantly.

quentin let his eyes take in every inch of your face - not a hardship, in fairness, you were beautiful in every way to him. if any other world really did exist she’s the girl he’d approach at a bar and offer to buy her a drink.

focus, quentin, he reminds himself, and breathes out a short laugh. ‘’ it’s so good to see you. ‘’

again, no real answer. just a tilt of the head, confusion in the eyes.

he let his fingers fall to the simple silver band on his left finger, twisting the metal around. your gaze follows the movements and there’s a brief moment where quentin swears he can see the cogs turning in your brain.

the blank expression breaks - a frown furrowing your brow, lips parting in a silent ‘’oh’’. excitement brims low in his belly - it’s working. she’s already figured it out.

you take a breath and turn your head away. when you look back, your face is neutral once again. but there’s something there - a softness that’s new. a tiny chink in the armour, all that quentin needs.

‘’ i’m sorry for your loss, ‘’ you tell him, ‘’ but i’m not her. ‘’

he nods quickly, ‘’ i know, i know. it’s just ... you look like her. ‘’ he falters in his words and feels tears building behind his eyes. seeing his watery gaze you clam up and he curses himself for getting too into it. after a second, however...

‘’ i know how it feels. to lose the one you love. to feel like it’s your fault, like you could’ve - should have - saved them, ‘’ you sigh and rub your face, tiredly. ‘’ but that’s not gonna help you save this world, quentin. ‘’

the sound of your name leaving his lips sends a tremor through his heart. he freezes momentarily - what is this feeling? - but quickly shakes out of it as you continue.

‘’ you gotta move on, ‘’ your voice is nothing more than a whisper, ‘’ you have a chance, now, to win, and you can’t let bad feelings ruin it. ‘’

you meet his gaze almost shyly, and he feels physically drawn in to you, doesn’t even realise his feet are moving until he’s barely a breath away. startled by the sudden closeness you take a step back and harden your features once again.

quentin apologises, sounding sincere, ‘’ i didn’t realise ... you’re not like her, not entirely. she was ... she didn’t have powers. ‘’ he lets the ghost of a fake memory flutter across his face. ‘’ but she was still the strongest person i knew. ‘’ his voice splinters on the last word and tears slip down his face.

you hesistate, he senses the uncertainty, and moves to turn away as though ashamed.

his stomach does a victory flip when your hand comes to touch his armoured shoulder. from underneath long, damp lashes he peeks down at you. you look as though you’re hurting for him and something harsh twists in his chest. he doesn’t have time to think about it, though. not when your hand slides down the material of his costume and finds it’s way into his.

you squeeze it gently, the unnatural warmth of your skin almost burning against his palm. quentin finds himself feeling comforted, tries to climb out of the moment and remember that this isn’t real -

he slips a little bit when you squeeze his hand a second time, and say, ‘’ just make her proud, quentin. you can save this world. do it for her. ‘’

his breath leaves him and he’s silent for a long moment as he gazes down at your face. he feels cracked open, raw, vulnerable. eventually, he nods, waits for his voice to even out. squeezes your hand back, a little tighter than necessary.

‘’ i’ll do my best. ‘’

|| Part 1 of ? ||

408 notes · View notes

bgn846 · 5 years

Text

The Gift of Laughter

Just a little ffxv valentine’s story featuring Gladio and Ignis for my friend @ragewerthers

Check out the fic on AO3 if you prefer.

Cor was a good looking guy but this still didn’t change the fact that something had gone terribly wrong. Gladio had been called into the immortal’s office only ten minutes before and was simply expecting to review new training programs. However, the discussion that was happening currently was not about new training programs.

It wasn’t really even a discussion it was more like Cor rambling. The man never rambled so it was good to know he had feelings but this was so not how Gladio wanted to discover that character trait. Silently cursing his own stupidity Gladio vowed to never again use the citadels mail delivery service.

The git behind the counter had clearly written the office number incorrectly and his wonderful valentine’s gift had gone to wrong recipient. Granted the shield didn’t really think things through and should have added Ignis’ name somewhere but alas it was too late for that.

The sensible thing to do would be to fess up and tell Cor he was not his intended valentine. But the more Gladio listened to him pour his heart out the less that option sounded like the right one. He didn’t want to hurt Cor’s feelings by rejecting him so unceremoniously.

Gladio could feel his face turning all shades of red. Why did these things have to happen to him! Finally tramping his mortification down enough to actually be a part of the conversation he realized Cor was turning him down. Astrals! This was actually worse.

“Listen Gladio, I love you as a friend but don’t really think this would work out if we tried. We work together too much and I just think it would make things more complicated. Our ages are really different and I feel like we just wouldn’t be compatible as partners.”

It took a full 15 seconds for Gladio’s brain to catch up and produce words out of his mouth. “Uh – I understand – so we are good? Please tell me things aren’t going to get super weird now.”

Cor’s shoulders relaxed a little and he flashed a smile for the first time since they started this awkward ass conversation. “Nah I have a feeling we will both eventually laugh about this.”

Suddenly Gladio was hit with a terrifying thought. “You’re not going to tell my dad are you!?” He asked nervously.

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

Thank the six he had made it to the end of the talk. Now what? Should he try and grab the gift back or leave it? Gods, good thing he didn’t include a super sappy note. He’d only bought a super nice box of fancy chocolates and managed to scribble ‘Will you be my valentine?’ on the small card it came with.

Cor beat him to the punch. “I’m keeping those chocolates but you can take that card back.”

“You eat candy?” Gladio asked before he could stop himself.

“Of course, but I never buy any for myself and no one ever gives me any so thanks!” Cor announced as he grabbed the box and stood up to leave. “Now get out of my office so I can lock up and go home.” He finished with the biggest shit eating grin Gladio had seen in a long time.

Not having to be told twice he snatched the unwanted card from the desk and bolted from the office. Okay so he’d managed to survive the most humiliating thing to happen to him since grade school but he still had a problem. Cor had just taken his gift for Ignis.

He was due to meet up with Ignis in the next fifteen minutes so there really wasn’t time to buy a replacement. Sighing at his own bad luck Gladio began the trek over to the advisors apartment. Even after the ten minute walk he still hadn’t come up with a good excuse as to why he had a card and no gift. The idea to tell Ignis everything that had occurred was far too embarrassing.

Expecting disaster Gladio continued on and eventually found himself staring at the front of Ignis’ door. Taking a deep breath he knocked and waited.

It became apparent that Gladio was terrible at keeping something secret. He’d been sitting on Ignis’ couch for all of five minutes and his boyfriend had already called him out for seeming out of sorts.

“Honestly Iggy everything is fine.” Gladio lied when Ignis prompted him again as to what was bothering him.

“I don’t think so.” The nineteen year old responded with a frown. “You’re not overwhelmed since this is our first valentines together are you?” He questioned.

“Nah not at all, I’m super excited we get to hang out.” Gladio really was happy; Ignis had planned the whole evening for them complete with a home cooked meal. That of which, was currently in the oven roasting away. He was more worried for the moment when they would exchange gifts. He knew Ignis would have gotten him one and Gladio had made an effort only to have it go to waste. Cor did say he would enjoy them but that still didn't change the situation.

“You are a terrible liar Gladiolus.” Ignis chided.

Shit. The full name.

“If this isn’t something you are comfortable with then maybe we need to talk about this relationship.” The younger man added with a pout.

“What! No. no. no. That is not what’s making me act so strange. Iggy I’m really happy we are together please don’t say that.”

“Then what pray tell is bothering you?” He asked again.

Sighing heavily Gladio realized he would have to fess up. “So I’m upset because I bought you a really nice box of chocolates. I wrapped the box and used the in house mailing department so they could deliver it to your office today.”

Ignis interrupted him. “I didn’t receive anything; do you think it got delivered after I left the office today?”

“No, the person who filled out the label for me transposed your office numbers. My gift for you went to the wrong office.”

“Well if that’s the case then we can simply pick it up tomorrow. There is no need to fret over that Gladio.”

“Um – there’s more.” Gladio paused as Ignis narrowed his eyes waiting for the rest of the story. “So I’m not sure if you are aware but you and Cor have similar office numbers. Yours is 419 and Cor’s is 149.”

Astrals --.” Ignis murmered. “Do you mean to tell me you sent Cor the Immortal a valentine’s gift?”

“Oh yeah I did.” Gladio hummed in response. “With a signed card and everything.”

“He knows we are dating doesn’t he, I can’t imagine he gave you too much grief over it.”

“No, he didn’t give me grief Iggy, he thought I was asking him to be my valentine.” Gladio frowned when he noticed the smirk that Ignis was desperately trying to hide. “It’s not funny Ignis. I had to sit in his office for ten minutes while he turned me down!” Gladio whined.

“You were rejected by the immortal?” Ignis asked as he barely managed to contain his snickering. “What did he tell you?”

“He loved me as a friend but because of our age difference and the fact that we work together a lot it probably wouldn’t work out.” Gladio scowled at Ignis when he let out a genuine squeal. “Ignis, it was really embarrassing to have to sit in his office and listen to that.”

“Why on eos didn’t you tell him it was a mistake!”

“I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.” Gladio pouted.

“Aww my gentle giant, Gladio you truly are the sweetest man to exist on this planet.” Ignis responded with a small smile. “So what happened to my chocolate?”

“He took it!” Gladio exclaimed. “He claimed no one ever bought him chocolate but he loves it so he seriously just stole your gift.”

Ignis couldn’t contain his snort as he laughed out loud. “He didn’t know he was stealing dear, he thought it was his to take.”

“I at least got the card back.” Gladio huffed. “He didn’t want that.”

“Gimme, gimme –.” Ignis said quickly making grabby hands like a three year hold.

Gladio knew this was a mistake but he fished the card out of his pocket and handed it over. Watching the emotions pour over his boyfriends face was fun and terrifying all at the same time. First Ignis displayed a sappy smile at the little note and then that quickly morphed into howling laughter. Prim and proper Ignis was laughing so hard he couldn’t sit upright in his chair.

“You –you gave Cor a card that said be my valentine!” He gasped in between breaths.

Having no choice but to look on with dismay, Ignis lost his godsdamned mind while he laughed himself silly. Normally getting Ignis to let loose in this fashion would require a lot of work. But apparently making an ass out of himself in front of Cor the immortal did the trick. He would have to remember this for next year.

Waiting for what felt like an eternity Ignis finally calmed down enough to form complete sentences. “Will you buy me the chocolates again?” He asked with a smile that was framed by red cheeks and tear tracks down his handsome face.

“Of course Iggy, if that’s what would make you happy.” Gladio responded seriously.

“Oh my dear wonderful boyfriend, your presence alone makes me happy. I was only kidding, though I do love chocolate.” He said while getting up and relocating to sit next to the shield. “I’m sorry you had to go through that dear but it really is funny.”

“I suppose I can understand why you laughed. I mean of all the people why did it have to be Cor.” Gladio sighed.

“He is handsome; perhaps you really do fancy him instead of me.” Ignis chided with mischievous glint in his eyes.

Gladio knew Ignis was teasing him but he couldn’t quite control himself as he tackled the advisor and began tickling him. “You are such a troublemaker!” he shouted as he dug is fingers into his boyfriend’s ribs.

Ignis was breathless again in less than a minute and pinned under the shield on the couch. Gladio was content to listen to his giggling and watch as his smile grew bright.

Once Ignis had caught his breath he spoke up. “Happy valentine’s day Gladio.”

“Happy valentine’s day to you to Iggy, my gift to you this year is laughter.”

Ignis smiled even wider which didn’t seem possible and tugged Gladio down into a fierce hug. “And what a wonderful gift it is. Thank you dear.”

“So what did you get me?” Gladio questioned since he’d survived the retelling of his misadventure.

“Oh well you see, I fear it got sent to the wro--.” Ignis couldn’t finish his thought as he was squealing and laughing again.

Gladio relentlessly resumed his tickle attack until Ignis was crying and gasping for breath. “Now, now Iggy, I believe you were telling me about the nice gift you bought me.” Rolling his eyes at the fit of giggles that erupted from underneath him he sighed. “Are you seriously gonna be like this all night?”

“I really like your gift dear, besides my plan worked anyway.” Ignis finished as he captured Gladio’s mouth for a kiss.

Humming in approval Gladio melted into Ignis’ embrace as they continued kissing. Now this was a good way to pass the time until dinner!

#ffxv #valentines day #gladnis #f3s #final fantasy fic swap

7 notes · View notes

katieskarlette · 6 years

Text

Before the Storm: A Reaction Post

I just finished binge-reading the latest WoW novel, and I have thoughts. Quite a few of them, actually. So here goes.

Short non-spoilery version: Game tie-in novels are never going to be high literature, but for what it was, I really enjoyed this book. I know Golden’s name has been mud around this neck of the internet lately, so this probably isn’t a popular opinion. The contrast between Anduin and Sylvanas as leaders--and as people--was interesting to see, and the questions about how the living and the undead can (or should) interact were incredibly poignant. There was only one significant lore development (at the very end, regarding a new variety of undead) that is easy to catch up on via a quick summary, so it’s not a mandatory read to understand Battle For Azeroth. But as a character study and a fleshing-out of the world and how various issues stand going into the new expansion, it was a enjoyable read. If you’re a fan of Anduin, Sylvanas, Genn, Calia, or goblins, definitely check it out.

Spoilers (as well as a mention of real-life death/grief) below.

I think sometimes fandom marinates in an echo chamber and, because of how seldom new canon material is released, we assume that because Blizzard isn’t releasing a weekly short story they’re letting unresolved plot threads dangle and fester. Sometimes they do, granted, but there were an awful lot of things addressed (or at least mentioned) in this book that fandom has been wondering/worrying/complaining/speculating about:

The leadership void among the Darkspear. The impact of losing so many soldiers and supplies in the war with the Legion. What’s been going on in the Undercity while Sylvanas is away doing Warchief stuff. The fact that none of the Horde leaders have families. The reaction of the Cenarion Circle to their losses in Silithus. The unpopularity of Gallywix among his own people. The confusion and cross-faction misunderstandings about the disastrous battle of the Broken Shore. The tension and lost trust after Genn Greymane and Admiral Rogers’ shenanigans at the start of Stormheim’s storyline. Moira’s son not being a baby anymore. The unresolved issues between Moira and Magni. Velen’s grief over his son. The fact that Tess and Mia Greymane exist. Theramore. Calia’s claim to the throne of Lordaeron. The long-lasting impact of the Cataclysm. The mixed opinions among the Horde about the way the goblins terraformed Azshara. Kalec and Jaina’s relationship. Lore from the priest order hall. And yes, the fact that Anduin needs an heir.

I’m not saying all these things are settled or developed, or handled in ways I necessarily agree with, but it’s good to be reminded that Blizzard hasn’t forgotten about any of these elements. (Wrathion, on the other hand... Sigh. Don’t get me started. Suffice it to say he’s not even alluded to in the book. Onyxia does get a passing mention in relation to how her scheming impacted the Wrynns.)

Anyway, moving on to the main theme of the book: life, death, and all the corpse-gray areas in between.

It was hard to read sometimes because of how raw the emotions were and how hard the questions were that it asked. I’m not sure that it would have the same impact on someone who has never grieved the death of a loved one, but for me it was quite emotional. I got misty-eyed in several places.

I found myself imagining what it would be like to see my much-beloved grandmother (who, by the time she died, was as hunched, emaciated and discolored as any Forsaken, although that’s not how I try to remember her) standing across a field from me. To be able to speak to her again, tell her how much I love and miss her, to tell her what I’ve been doing in the last fifteen years...yet to see her as a withered, pungent, unnatural husk, to know she’d been denied the rest of the grave... Faced with that choice, I don’t know how I would react. I’m glad I never will--for a lot of reasons!

The book never said that Anduin imagined himself facing either of his parents under such circumstances, but I’m sure he must have. (I mean, not that there was anything left of Varian to turn undead, but hypothetically speaking.) Anduin’s a very empathetic person, and his own grief over his father was still so raw. It certainly affected Genn, who I thought was written very well.

I’ve never been a fan of the Forsaken, because their dark, mean-spirited, nihilistic outlook and the corpse/bone aesthetic don’t appeal to me. (It doesn’t in other contexts, either. Give me cute jack o’ lanterns and chubby-cheeked ghosts for Halloween decorations, and skip the plastic tombstones and cardboard skeletons, please.) This book gave a lot of insight into what it would be like to be undead, without the need for sleep, cut off from any living friends/relatives, with a body that’s slowly wearing out without the ability to heal or do physical therapy, knowing that you are repulsive and smelly to others, making the most of second chances while also perhaps yearning for the peace of true death, and being acutely aware of how fragile you really are. It made the Forsaken more sympathetic and (excuse the pun) fleshed out.

I was also quite pleased to see acknowledgement of Forsaken who aren’t emotionless, gibbering eeeevil. My lone, seldom-played undead alt, a lowbie priest, is that kind of a character: holding onto the Light even though it now is painful to use, and refusing to stoop to being a monster just because she’s a walking corpse. That wasn’t a viewpoint that was really highlighted in canon before. (Of course, that means my little priest would be out there on the Arathi plain with a bunch of black arrows sticking out of her right now, so...)

I was disappointed that the book never mentioned Anduin bringing Elsie’s body back to Stormwind to bury beside Wyll. I’m going to assume he did, because geez.

I still don’t know where they’re going with the new Light-infused variety of undead, but we’re not really supposed to. It’s just a teaser and cliffhanger. There’s a lot of story potential, anyway. We’ll see. I’m glad they didn’t remove Calia from the story completely, at least.

Speaking of cliffhangers, if that adorable gnome/goblin couple didn’t survive, I’m going to be majorly bummed out. It was also interesting to know that goblins and gnomes can get married in canon. Presumably other cross-species relationships can be made legal, too.

Anyone who’s emotionally invested in the Menethil dynasty has sure had a rollercoaster of ups and downs lately. Yay, Calia’s finally in game! Noooo, she’s not interested in claiming her throne! Yay, she’s interested after all! Nooooo, she’s dead! Yay, she’s...undead? And she's totally cool with the idea that Lordaeron belongs to the Forsaken? (Which, I mean, it does, but it’s surprising to have her think that. So many forum threads about this stuff suddenly became obsolete...) And there’s a slim chance that her daughter is either undead or still alive out there somehow? WHAAAAAAT?

Oh yeah, she secretly got married to a footman, had a kid, escaped the Scourge, lived in Southshore for years under an assumed identity, and then presumably lost her husband and daughter when the town got Blighted (yet she’s okay with the Forsaken???), but we didn’t see the bodies so heaven only knows what plot twist could come of that.

On one hand (the Watsonian one) it’s a tragic, awful thing for her to have gone through and I felt really bad for her. On the other hand (the Doylist one), did she really need more tragic, awful backstory? No. No, she really did not. It seemed like overkill, which makes me suspect they’re seeding a plot thread for the future. Meh. Hey, if she lived in Southshore, did she know the Rogers family? Would Admiral Catherine Rogers recognize her as whatever her fake identity was?

On a related note, you’ve got Anduin who in the past was always like, “OMG noooo don’t compare me to Arthas!” and now is like, “Okay, Calia, I’m officially adopting you as my new big sister.” Oh, the irony...

I should address the rainbow-striped elephant in the room: There is no LGBTQIA+ representation in the book. Anduin is specifically mentioned as having been attracted to the female dwarf Aerin, and he expects to fall in love with a woman someday. Personally, I‘ve headcanoned him as bi, perhaps leaning a bit ace, while always expecting Blizz to have him marry a woman. I do sympathize with those who had hoped that he might be canonically gay, and I strongly agree that Warcraft badly needs more representation in that regard. In this book alone, it would have been so easy to have that blacksmith bringing a helmet as a gift to his long-lost Forsaken husband instead of friend. But we also need a major Warcraft character to be unequivocally LGBT. It’s way, way past time. Get on it, Blizzard.

[Edited to add: I almost forgot, another kind of representation I wish they had explored was that of physical disability. As convenient as Anduin’s Magic Lie-and-Bad-Idea-Detecting Bones are, why couldn’t he have had some negative lasting effects of being crushed by the Divine Bell? Chronic aches, maybe a limp at least? Loss of a limb, even? There is a narrative to be explored there, and as someone with a close family member who suffers from chronic pain and limited mobility it would be refreshing to see that kind of thing addressed.]

Moving on, I’ve never cared for Valeera Sanguinar that much, but I did like how she’s set up as Anduin’s super secret spy. I wonder if she gets to wear pants now.

Big ol’ meanie Sylvanas made Baine and Anduin stop being pen pals. *pout* I loved how Magni called her “lassie,” though. That takes balls of diamond, to be sure...

Speaking of the banshee queen, I tried very hard to read between the lines to see what their long-term plans are for her. Just because the last line of the book is Anduin proclaiming that she’s beyond saving, that doesn’t mean they aren’t going to try to pull off some kind of redemption arc. If anything it just draws our attention to the question.

Is Anduin right? A big part of his plot arc lately is how he’s finding his way, making mistakes and learning from them. Could he be wrong about Sylvanas? He saw potential for good in Garrosh that never developed, so it’s not impossible that he could find compassion for Sylvanas someday...if she shows remorse and a desire to change. And that’s an “if” bigger than the sword sticking out of Silithus.

I didn’t see any signs of her wrestling with her conscience. If anything, the emphasis on how some Forsaken do still have feelings (besides hatred, bitterness, and anger) condemned her all the more by comparison. Yet she does regret Vol’jin’s death, and she did respect him. And her feelings were definitely hurt by her sisters’ responses to her, and you have to have feelings to have them be hurt. But her lack of remorse for any of the vicious, heartless things she does, combined with her new penchant for killing her own people, doesn’t bode well for her to have a change of heart any time soon.

I also kept a close eye on Nathanos. In his short story they made a point of saying that his senses were sharper with his new body, and that he felt a pang of regret for the first time since his death. That could simply be an indication of his renewed state, or it could be a tiny sliver of foreshadowing that he’s not 100% on board with Sylvanas’ plotting. Then again, that was set before Legion, and he spent all of Stormheim frantically trying to find her, and worrying about her, and just generally not being remotely subtle about how much he cares for her. Heh. Then again, he can care about her (in whatever way the undead feel such bonds, that is) and still think she’s going too far with her ideas about the valkyr, raising more Forsaken, keeping them up and functioning indefinitely without the release of true death, etc. Interesting potential for conflict there, as well.

I don’t know that I even want to see a Sylvanas redemption arc, but it’s fun to try guessing what Blizzard has planned. And such a plot twist would alleviate some of the “Didn’t we just do this same ‘overthrow a bad warchief’ plot with Garrosh?” syndrome, and allow them to keep around one of the franchise’s most recognizable characters.

I was also relieved to find no evidence that Anduin is being corrupted by the Old Gods, Azerite, or anything else. He’s true to himself and the Light, as always. I appreciate characters who stubbornly insist that there is good in (almost) everyone, despite living in a world that does its best to beat that optimism out of them. It’s not blind idealism or naivete; it’s faith and its own kind of strength.

Sylvanas and Anduin are fascinating foils for each other. The stark contrast between a young king who is still finding his place and a bitter, scarred, centuries-old queen, someone who comes to understand that death is not always the enemy versus someone who digs in her heels and refuses to accept it, someone who wants his people to be happy versus someone who kills them for not agreeing with her... It’s intriguing.

Was it the best book ever? No. Did I enjoy reading it? Yes. Is it absolutely necessary to read in order to understand the story going into the next expansion? Nah. Would it have been a lot better with Wrathion in it somehow? Of course. ;)

And that’s my two cents. (Er, well, judging by how long this post got, more like $2.50.)

#Before the Storm spoilers #Before the Storm #BFA spoilers #rambling about wow

50 notes · View notes