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#so all those emotional moments were nothing huh
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Idea, with the negative reads on both Chloe & Adrien's parents, imagine a parent swap?
IE, Gabriel/Audrey & Emilie/Andre.
Gabriel/Audrey
Its two massive egotistical perfectionists who ae incredibly callous and easily given to cruelty. They are a power couple in the most terrifying sense of the word and place basically no regard on those around them except how it serves their interests.
When things are good.
If there's ever a problem a mishap. a failure, oh boy can it become destructive & given Audrey is intensely independent and Gabriel is a massive control freak I can envision there being no shortage of room for conflict.
I imagine whichever kid they end up with is either a traumatized and nervous wreck, often used as ammo against the other parent & needing to navigate their endless expectations & drama. & or wound so tightly they're going to pop and kill someone.
Emilie/Andre.
They are on the surface loving and indulgent parents. Unfortunately they are also intensely selfish and toxic people who are just instinctively good at dressing up their behavior.
Andre is blatantly corrupt and considers this fine, he will oscillate between sycophant's and stern power house as needed. His relationships exist to make him feel good about himself & stop mattering the moment he's not in the mood.
Emilie is more on the surface moral, but will happily compromise any moral or belief if it gets her what she wants. What she wants is to be the apple of of someone's eye, their sun, their moon, their definition of love. Andre showers her with gifts & her to him affection.
Their child is someone they have insulated and isolated, they don't want to share, they don't want them to leave, they want them always around (When they are wanted) and always focused on how great they are. Its looks loving but it basically two parasites using their child for food.
I would have suggested Gabriel/Andre & Emilie/Audrey but that'd just canon with the genders swapped right? Huh... Maybe not?
If one were to touch on the sociological side of things, gosh being openly queer would potentially affect a lot. Especially whether some of them could even make it big. If nothing else their trajectory might change a bit.
If we ignore the sociological and treat their relationship as totally normalized culturally, so its just their personalities being kept in mind...
I think there is stuff to muse on definitely, but needing sleep I might be less than my best with this one XD
Emilie/Audrey
High flying famous stars, they go where their work is. For Emilie this means studios and locations, for Audrey its a mix of New York, Paris, Milan and so on.
Their child is likely used to being carted around as Emilie's luggage, essentially a mascot and emotional support dummy she says she loves cos she likes the idea of them adoring her.
Audrey is far more indifferent unless they impress her, but is more keyed into the marriage itself. Emilie is exceptional and while inclined to be swept up in Audrey's wake, can coax some tact from her.
She is still distant, harsh and near impossible to please however and neither think much of their Childs needs & tend to be very much enamored with one another when times are good & when not... There's work.
Likely a very unpredictable, isolating and unstable childhood with an affectionate but emotionally selfish parent and a callous impossible to please parent.
Gabriel/Andre
Definitely a bit more public than the hyper private Agreste of canon; Gabriel's penchant for isolation and antisocial behaviors, would still exist.
This would n many way ways suit Andre as it lets him be the socializer, the face, the mover and shaker the one who meets people and is protecting his dear husband by handling all this stuff in one way or another.
Gabriel's more aloof nature would beckon one like a moth to flame however and he likely thinks of himself as the protector in the same way the viziard who rules through the puppet prince is a protector.
Both are very much in favor of corraling their child in the home, Andre so he can always have a source of easy affection & praise & Gabriel because he wants everything under his control.
Andre is probably the "Fun parent" but provides nothing but superficial acts. While Gabriel does want to raise said child to be a success, he also doesn't care if they are happy or have opinions.
So in both cases rather similar to canon but also distinct I think?
Either way these kids are FUCKED
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ghoulaudia · 9 months
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you know what? i’m okay with skk staying static and not getting any further development. the series has always been about sskk growing and learning how to be like them anyways. what i’m NOT okay with however is that how chuuya’s character itself stays stagnant because of this too.
thinking about it, i don’t remember a single time where chuuya appeared in the series while dazai wasn’t involved. we only ever got to know chuuya through how he is around dazai and it sucks so bad. what about his relationships with other people? how come he never had proper scenes with neither akutagawa nor atsushi? what about his feelings of being in the mafia-as an executive on top of that-? what about his feelings of his own identity and humanity? it’s kinda crazy how asagiri wrote two lns about this guy when they don’t even matter in the main story, where he’s just “dazai’s partner”. sure, these lns also had dazai in it, as he’s integral to chuuya’s life, but the main focus was always chuuya himself.
so, if we’re not gonna see chuuya outside of dazai (in the main series) on top of their relationship not changing either, neither will chuuya’s character. literally the worst thing that could happen to a character with so much potential.
well, what i’m really trying to say is, i would appreciate chuuya’s character actually being explored instead of us getting the skk friendship is magic skit for the millionth time
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messylustt · 1 year
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౨ৎ ‧˚
𝐞𝐥 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐨 (𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥) — 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲?
miguel o’hara x fem!reader. 3.4K words
fic masterlist previous part pt three next part
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miguel unwillingly pining after reader; fantasies about you in miguel’s head; a massage (pg); a hint of jealous miguel; spanish wise—I hope I wrote everything correctly, I asked for some opinions and check ups from a spanish speaker <3 big thanks to you — after an interesting morning with miguel, you learnt a few more spanish words, not to be late, and having him in close proximity might give you a heart attack. your mind certainly wandered when you were monitoring a mission, the spider peoples’ bickering making you feel annoyed, an emotion miguel unwillingly likes the look of on you. but how does he feel when he makes his request… asking you to follow him to a door you didn’t think you’d ever pass through?
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“Checking the location now.” You said through your ear piece, tapping away at the keyboard. Your back was straightened as you stayed focused. You were working with a group of spider variants, who were assigned to get rid of a misplaced “villain” as they liked to put it. It just makes their job sound much more important, resulting in then coming back with a proud sway to their hips.
“Bro, why are you breathing so hard?” Hissed one of the spider variants to another.
“I’m settling into my hero act.” His tone is full of pronounced muscle—most likely standing with his arms by his side like some macho man. He takes a deep sigh. “It can be tough being such a incredible hero.”
The others just stare, clearly used to this from him, before a screech meets everyone’s ears.
“Where is it?!” One of them exclaims, frantically looking around.
“It would’ve blended into one of the buildings’ walls.” You say, scanning the area on your computer.
“I’m sorry, did you just say ‘blended in’?” A spider-man asks. “What is this monster—a chameleon?”
You’re silent for a moment. “Please tell you me reviewed the mission.”
There’s silence through the earpiece. You blink a few times, then close your eyes taking a deep breath. “Why not?”
“Look, I was going to but…Parker distracted me!”
“I distracted you?!” Parker exclaimed.
“Guys.” You try, but they either can’t hear you or are choosing not to.
“You were the one who was so eager to just defeat this villain!”
In your annoyed state, you can’t help but let your mind wander somewhere that had held your attention for majority of the day…
—this morning—
You rushed down the stairs, while simultaneously fixing your hair. Shit, you were gonna be late. All because of these extensive stairs.
When you reached the bottom, your hair had become a mess again, making you place your flat palms against your head as you tried to soothe the stray hairs.
You reach the door to your office, pausing to take a breath. Twisting the handle, you walked inside.
You instantly noticed Miguel, spider suit back on, as he swiped necessary and unnecessary screens back and forth by the large spider.
You tried to stay quiet as you walked to your desk, but your luck seems to plainly not exist as Miguel’s voice greets you—rather gruffly.
“Would it be cliché to say ‘you’re late’?”
You press your lips together as he jumps down. You seem to forget how tall he is until he’s towering over you, with a look that states ‘you should be worried’.
You gulp, before forcing a smile. Miguel’s expression stays dead as he waits for you to speak, most likely to explain yourself.
When you say nothing your mouth opening and closing like a stupid fish, Miguel speaks. “I said six.”
You nod. “I heard you.”
“Did you?” His clicks his jaw, a slight tilt to his head, as he observed your quickly fixed hair and slight heave of your chest. You clearly rushed. “You just woke up.”
“No.” You say indignantly. “I’ve been awake since six, I just didn’t like the idea of walking down those stairs, so…I began working in my room.”
“Uh huh.” He sarcastically nods. “Right.”
You press your lips together, thinking you should have stitched them shut. You weren’t helping yourself.
“You keep saying you want to prove that you belong here.” Miguel begins. He leans forward, his red eyes gleaming, his fangs becoming more visible as he snarls. “If you don’t start getting here at six, then I’ll be happy to drag you out at four.”
He leans back, stalking back towards the big spider, as he webs himself up to the top. You let out a sigh, turning to your desk and swivel chair.
;;
After an hour or so of working, and going over the mission scheduled in a few hours, you feel a breath by your neck. With wide eyes you spin around to see Miguel staring down at you.
When he meets your gaze, you’re placing your hand over your heart. “Can you not scare me like that?” You mutter out.
He leans forward…and forward… and forward, until his large hands are caging you in by resting them on the chair’s armrests. “Scare?” He almost whispers in question to himself.
You’re utterly frozen as his breath tickles your nose and cheeks, which you are sure to be an embarrassing red by now.
“O’hara?” You slowly question, it comes out quieter than you had intended.
His eyes stay focused on your own, as your pulse beats rapidly in your chest. Stop it— you want to say. But you’re not sure what ‘it’ is exactly.
“…did you need something?” It’s the only thing you can think to say.
“What do you mean by scare?” He asks.
You lightly shift in your chair, unsure what to do in this situation. “Um…I just mean that you’re…you are kinda scary, O’hara.” You force a chuckle, trying to ease tension you are sure is the annoyance radiating off of him.
“Is it the fangs?” He asks, his eyes strangely showing genuine interest—or what you think to be genuine.
“Kind of?” You say more so as a question. “But also how you never, well…smile.”
“Why should I smile at people I don’t want to smile at?” He asks, his eyes finally dropping away from the entrapment of your own, but to a much worser place.
You self consciously lick your lips, feeling your nerves turning them dry. His gaze doesn’t shift from your mouth for an abnormally long time.
“O’hara.”
His brows then begin to furrow, his eyes finally leaving your lips, making you unintentionally sigh.
“Why do you refer to me by my last name?”
“What does ‘chaparrita’ mean?” You counter.
He narrows his eyes, leaning away from you and back to his full height. “You ready for your lesson?” He suddenly asks, grabbing a swivel chair and leaning back.
You stare at him for a moment. So that was what he was supposed to ask this whole time? “Okay, if you tell me—“
“No.” He says monotonously. “Ahora deja de hacer preguntas y siéntate y escucha.” (Now stop asking questions and sit and listen.)
You didn’t understand what he just said but you can understand his tone, so you readjust yourself on your chair and stay silent.
“Now…what do you say when you want help?” Miguel inquires, his tone now almost babying.
You narrow your eyes, but answer anyway. “¿Me puede ayudar, por favor?”
“Mm.” He hums, letting his gaze drop. “Bien.”
Miguel notices the slight curve of your lips at his praise. He shifts in his seat. “I hope you know what that means.”
Your small smile falls, before a fake one replaces it. “Yes, O’hara, I do know what that one means.”
“You should loose the attitude, chaparrita. Si es que quieres mi ayuda” (If you want my help, that is.) He says, running his tongue along one of his fangs.
“I understood “my help”.” You say. “And the one with the attitude here is you.”
“How so?”
You raise your brows. “Do I need to answer that? I thought you were observant?” Okay, now you were just pushing his buttons for fun. He seemed to get riled up so easily.
A scowl forms on his face. “Si no fueras tan pinche bonita, creo que me gustaría verte arañada” (If you weren’t so annoyingly pretty, I think I’d like to see you clawed up.) He mutters under his breath, his gaze slightly venomous.
“¿Cómo estás?” Miguel says. “Repeat it.”
“¿Cómo estás?” You repeat.
“That means “how are you?”. And what could you reply with?” He inquires.
“Bien.” You answer.
“Mejor.”
“‘Better’?” You say with a scoff. “I feel like I should get a bit more credit…Spanish is hard.”
“First of all—it’s not.” Miguel states. “Second…you know what ‘mejor’ means?”
“It was one of the words I learnt on my phone.” You shrug.
“Any other words I should I know about?” He sounds annoyed, and you can’t fathom why.
“You’re annoyed at that? To be honest I thought you’d be grateful.”
He doesn’t say anything. Mainly because he can’t say the first reason that popped into his head. He wanted you to learn Spanish—all of it—from him, and only him. He also can’t tell you because he doesn’t know why he feels that way. It was stupid, feeling resentful to a phone, utterly stupid, but Miguel can’t ignore the nagging feeling in his stomach.
—present—
“Shut up!” You exclaim, massaging your temples.
There’s finally silence on the other end.
“The invisible monster is moving your way, on the left wall. You’ll be able to spot a slight glimmering shimmer over him. If you look close enough.”
You finally see the spider variants pick up into action, spotting the monster and beginning to attack.
Miguel watched from afar, leant by the open door to the main tech room, arms crossed as he watched you lean back in annoyance. When you were mad your eyes would hood over, narrowing to show only half of your pupils.
You would aways grow hot, occasionally fanning yourself as you unbuttoned the first button of your shirt. And Miguel would always stare, his chest picking up to a quicker beat. But the scowl would be set, Miguel hating the way he reacted. He shouldn’t be reacting at all. He felt pathetic, as he tried to look away.
Every time he’d fail, his gaze only shifting further down your body. Your legs were yet again…spread. An obviously comfortable position for you, but certainly not Miguel.
He’s embarrassed to admit—not that he’s ever actually—that he’s fantasised about being close to your spread legs, his hands being able to spread them further. You were a reactive girl, very hyper aware for a human. He hoped you’d stay the same when he’d touch you.
Your chest heaving, your mouth opening, as goosebumps littered your skin. Skin he’d be able to see a lot more of.
And to all these fantasies he would hate himself, and you. Sure, he was projecting. But he’d rather project anger then any of his hidden thoughts.
“Is it my turn now?” He asks, making you spin in your chair to face the exit and Miguel.
You had finally taken out your headpiece, the mission clearly completed. The spider-men would get back soon. A look of confusion flashed across your features before realisation hits. ‘His turn’. His side of the deal.
You stand, straightening your slightly crumpled shirt—you had been fisting the material in your annoyed state. Miguel ignores the thoughts of instead a crumpled sheet. Your fists clenching around, preferably, his—no. Not preferably his. He clears his head, biting his inside cheek, the metallic taste of blood now tangible.
“Follow me.” He turns, expecting you to do so.
And you do, walking past all the different spider variants in an effort to stay at Miguel’s heels.
Through the journey up the stairs, Miguel—who doesn’t know why he’s walking with you—has been having thoughts. Very…interesting thoughts. Some seeming very similar to those of ‘finding you annoyed kinda hot’ type of thoughts. It also fell back to the thoughts swirling in his head when he was looking at your lips.
He hadn’t meant to do that, his body seeming to have had a mind of its own when he leant over, caging you in.
He’s annoyed to admit—to himself—that he had wanted to kiss you. See what it felt like. Maybe he’d hate it and his strange, annoying crush on you would go.
He’s soon stopped by his room, finally glancing at you, to see that you look confused. “I thought I was doing what you asked…or whatever.” You say, slowing your breathing.
“You are.” He opens his door, walking in.
You watch him, brows still furrowed. You stay rooted to the hallway floor. “In your room?” You look around like you’ve done something terrible, and you’re gonna get caught.
“Maybe you aren’t as committed as you claim to be.”
Your eyes narrow at his blatancy. You edge closer to his cracked open door, him now fully inside. You take a deep breath before pushing it further open, then quickly shutting it behind you.
“You know, I probably shouldn’t be in here.” You mutter, staying pressed to the door, as you took in the large looking bed, messed up from his sleep, along with a window, and plain walls. There wasn’t much character and you could tell that that was very intentional.
You then shift your gaze to Miguel who had found himself a seat, relaxing back into it as he clicked his jaw. He finally met your gaze, and in the dim-ish lighting his hair looked messier, his hand most likely having ran through it.
“So…” you drift off, not meaning to come across so awkward.
He tilted his head to the side, silently asking you to come to him, as his legs spread a fraction. You ignored the want to hitch your breath, gulping it down instead.
You stare at him, not moving.
He raised a brow. “You look worried.”
“I’m not worried…just…confused.” You again force a chuckle, a forming coping mechanism around Miguel.
“I think my direction was pretty obvious. I did say it in English.” He again made himself out to be all superior.
You sigh. “I heard you. I’m just confused as to why you asked that.”
“What—did you think I asked you in here so that you’d stay plastered to my door, chaparrita?” He asked sarcastically.
You wet your lips. “Why did you ask me in here?”
“I want a massage.” He says it just so…simply.
You blink, maybe one time too many. “What?”
“A massage, y/l/n.” He says, lowering his head slightly, looking up at you through his lashes.
“Why?” You haven’t moved from the door, so, Miguel swiftly shoots a web out to attach to your shirt, yanking you forward.
You gasp, nearly tripping over your feet, as you get pulled towards him. Miguel stabilises you with a hand to your stomach, making you come to a stop in front of him. “What the hell?” You stare at him, your chest heaving in shock.
You rip the web from your shirt, quickly brushing it off. “You gave Gwen one. I heard you were good. That’s all.” Miguel says.
Your brows furrowed. “Gwen?” Then you remember. “Oh, well that’s because she just got back from a really hard mission…she was sore and I…dunno, I was bored.”
“And you don’t think I am? Sore, I mean. You do realise I take care of the multi—“
“The multiverse, yes. I haven’t forgotten. I’m just a little shocked, is all.”
“You can say no.”
You sigh. “If I want to lose my job.” You mutter, walking around him. Miguel twists his head to follow you slightly, until you stood out of his gaze, directly behind him. You pause, before gingerly placing your hands on his shoulders. Jeez, he was broad.
You closed your eyes, taking a breath. To be honest you thought his requests would be hardcore, asking you to practically run around ramped. But instead here you were alone in his room giving him a massage.
You began to add pressure. Working your fingers into the instant knots you felt.
Miguel’s eyes involuntarily rolled closed, as he accidentally leaned more into your touch. You don’t seem to notice the shift as you continue massaging by his neck and along his shoulder, veering a slightly onto the top of his back.
“I forgot to ask: where did you want the massage? I just assumed the shoulders.”
“Mm?” Miguel hums in question, sounding far away, a small heavy breath leaving his lips after.
“O’hara?” You ask, stopping your hands’ movements.
A small growl of disapproval fell from Miguel’s lips involuntarily. “Just—“ he takes a breath. “What you were doing is fine.”
You place your hands back where they were, making Miguel relax back into your fingers. You were good—Miguel thought to himself. He can’t remember the last time he released so much tension.
You lean down to Miguel’s ear, your tickling breath making him gulp. “Is there a time requirement? Because I had plans tonight.”
Miguel’s brows furrowed. “Plans? What plans?” He didn’t mean to sound so disappointed and borderline desperate, but he’s thankful you barely heard his tone as your attitude didn’t shift.
You worked your fingers closer to his chest, doing your normal routine. Your grandmother was a masseuse, and of course she had to give you some tips. It was fun being able to practice on Gwen, but with Miguel you felt nervous every time you would press down hard on a knot.
But his responses seemed to be good, considering all the quiet groans and heavy breaths.
“I made plans with spider-man—“
“That’s very descriptive.” Miguel comments, his head slightly rolling to the side.
You scoff, your fingers moving to the base of his neck, where no spider suit material could intervene. The pads of your fingers rubbing his bare skin. Miguel noticed the difference a lot quicker than you did, sounds and words of approval he really didn’t want you to hear threatening to spill.
“Dios, ¿por qué tus manos tienen que sentirse tan bien?” (God, why do your hands have to feel so good?) He muttered under his breath, not really meaning for you to catch a word, but of course you pick up ‘bien’.
“Good?” You asked. “Well, then you should put in a good word for me.” You chuckle. “Maybe I should start a small business and massage all the spider-men and woman. I think I’d do well—“
“No.” Miguel says instantly, still sounding slightly breathless. “If you want to prove yourself you can’t get distracted.” Of course that’s the reason he dislikes the idea. Definitely not because he doesn’t want your hands making others feel like this…definitely not.
“Don’t worry, it was just a hypothetical.” You say, going back to his shoulders. “Now, I hope that’s okay. Because I do need to go.” You bring your hands away, and it takes everything in Miguel not to spin around in the chair, grab your hands and ask you to massage somewhere else.
The tense knots in his shoulders were gone, his neck felt light, and he wanted to feel your fingers run along his abs. This was bad. Why was the lighting so dim, why was your scent so strong?
He spun around in his chair, meeting your gaze. “You didn’t fully answer me before. Who are meeting?”
“It was gonna be spider-man, the one with the cartoonish attitude, and now it’s just Hobie. I dunno. something about an important—“
“Hobie?” Miguel interrupts. He displayed indifference, though inside he was burning.
A weird tension began to fill the room. “Yeah, so I’ll just…go.” You say quickly passing him and opening the door, before Miguel had the (bad) mind to stop you.
You rushed out into the hallway which instantly felt lighter, letting you breathe.
You head to the main communion area, paths leading everywhere along the walls to along the roof, making it easy for a spider person to navigate but not someone who can’t stick to walls.
So you stay on the simple path, skimming through talking suited spiders until someone called your name. You spin catching sight of Peter, Mayday in his grasp.
“Hey.” You smile.
“Hey. Sorry, Hobie wanted me to tell you that he can’t catch up for that song session thing, something about getting called in for business.” Peter said, his hands going everywhere as Mayday tried to escape over the edge.
“Also picture that in an over pronounced British accent.” He gave you a thumbs up to which you chuckled.
“No worries, thanks Peter.”
“Mayday!” He suddenly yelled, to which you pointed to the left, displaying her climbing onto a spider-man’s back.
Peter rushes off. And you sigh, thinking you hurried for no reason. Though you are grateful that you could use that as an excuse to get out of Miguel’s room.
As you head to your own, you begin to wonder what this last minute mission could be about and why Hobie had been called in now. Usually the only person who calls people in, especially this last minute would be Miguel.
I guess crime never sleeps—you think to yourself—or something like that.
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ahhh here’s part three!—I hope this one wasn’t too boring or not what you expected x part four is gonna be more SeXuAl, I promise
I actually don’t know how many parts I should do, coz atm it’s feeling like a slow burn, but I don’t want to drag you guys along a long ass fic so I’m not sure.
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cheriiyaya · 2 months
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MASCARA RUNNIN' DOWN HER LITTLE BAMBI EYES !
FEATURING : D.Osamu, N.Chuuya + Fem!reader
♡ awww, their pretty girl's crying? or, dazai and chuuya with an emotional lover !
CW: fluff, dazai's a lil mean but its ok guys, clingy!reader, super self indulgent yall, erm crying (a lot of it), light angst(?) in chuuya's,
A/N: this was in my drafts for so long afjndkvndf also ogs know that my first fic was something similar ALSO I LOWKEY HATE THIS AJHHHOJFOIERW
"♪ Lana, how I hate those guys! ♪"
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DAZAI OSAMU...⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
Dazai admits that he'd be lying if he said he didn't like the way you looked when you got upset over little things- your pretty eyes glossy with tears, lashes heavy and damp and tears dripping down your flushed cheeks, god you looked so adorable and dazai just can't help himself !
Dazai giggled softly, cradling your head against his chest as you sobbed into his shirt. fingers curled into the cotton as you quivered and sniffled in his hold.
"D'awh, what's wrong darling?" He cooed, brushing his lips against the top of your head before tugging your head back to see your face, clicking his tongue and tapping his thumb against your tear-stained cheek as you tried to hide your face against his neck. He stared at you, taking you in as you wailed and hiccupped. "aw, what's got the pretty girl so sad?"
"n-nothing..." you sobbed out of your sore throat, sniffling as more tears rolled down your features. dazai sighed, shaking his head and he gives your hair a light tug.
"Don't lie, what's wrong bella'?" He grins, kissing your tear stained cheeks as he strokes your hair. "I come home to see you all teary eyed only to burst out wailing when you see me." dazai teased, tone full of mirth.
Truthfully, dazai never minded when you were like this, and hearing the way you mumbled out an "I missed you" in that little strained voice of yours made his heart melt. He wiped away tears beading up on your lash line, smoothing his thumb against your flushed cheek.
"You missed me? awww, the cutie missed me? darling you can't possibly be this upset whenever I'm not around." He spoke with mock disappointment, biting down on his tongue in amusement when you began to cry harder.
"'m sorry!! 'm sorry!!!" You wailed, actually thinking he was mad at you. How cute.
Dazai hummed, stealing a kiss from your lips and nestling his long fingers into your hair.
"Aww, don't cry! c'mon, you're gonna ruin your pretty face by crying that much! It's okay, bella'- god you looks so adorable right now!"
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NAKAHARA CHUUYA...⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
Like dazai, chuuya can't help but admit your adorable when you cry, but he's a little more sympathetic. Shushing you softly to quell your worries-and he can't help but wish you'd be a little less emotional with everything.
"doll, please stop cryin', alright? I'm fine." chuuya sighed, rubbing circles on your back as your trembling form clung to him. you let out a choked sob, fisting his shirt in trembling hands.
"y-you were so late!!! I thought somethin' happened to you!!" you choked out, burying your face against his chest, dampening his gray vest with tears. chuuya's heart clenched, as if bony fingers wrapping around and squeezing hard as you sobbed in his arms.
he gently tugged your head up, kissing your forehead and mumbling against your hairline.
"sweetheart, I'm fine- the boss had a shit tonna work for me to finish, that's all." chuuya explained softly, pulling away and cupping your chin, pressing a gloved thumb on your quivering bottom lip "please don't cry, f'me?" He brushed his thumb back and forth on the plush of your lip.
You looked up at him, eyes glossy and red-rimmed. Chuuya sighed, brushing back your hair. He never minded how much you cared about him, but at moments like this...
He just wished you wouldn't stress yourself out like this.
Stroking your hair, chuuya whispered:
"Doll, you don't hafta worry about me so much, okay? I'm here, I'm okay, so stop crying, huh? It'll ruin your pretty face, 'kay? There you go..."
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REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED
©Cheriiyaya 2024.
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suguru-getos · 1 year
Text
genshin men when you try to initiate cuddles
-> genre: fluff <3
characters included: kaveh, cyno, diluc, childe, alhaitham
kaveh loves it deliciously loves it, who doesn’t love feeling special? it gives him a sense of responsibility to help you feel safe. his arms wrapped around you as you rant about your day and my precious baby unu architect listens to you and validates your emotions throughout. “whaat? they did that- what a snob.” “yeah they did that,” “want me to teach em a lesson?”  it is incredibly cute how kaveh would just softly kiss you, talking to you about your day and cuddle you through the night, his arms wrapping around your torso, toying with your body a little like an excited child. 
cyno the general mahamatra usually is not going to look soft, approachable even. “what are you doing?” his demeanor right now is unmatched. blushed cheeks, tender tone as he welcomes a hug from you when he comes home. needy arms wrapping around his torso as you feel him patting your head in utter warmth and gratefulness of coming back home to you. “i love you, welcome home cyno.” | “home is where the heart is,” cyno — yes cyno can turn poetic at times. what else could you want from him really? he is the perfect man you’d ask for, keeping you his priority and not ashamed to express how he feels when you dote on him. “why am i getting so many hugs suddenly?” cyno teases — softly smiling and kissing your forehead. “cus you deserve it dummy.” you manage to answer, feeling the blissful warmth of his body against you.
diluc had no idea you were so cutely inviting him to the bedroom at night. wearing comfortable pjs and looking at him with a doting smile. “welcome home,” you cooed, as the handsome man you had the privilege to call your husband dented the mattress with his weight, scooting closer to you. your hands quick to grab his, placing them at the curve of your ass— rightly so. diluc smiled and softly, playfully spanked your ass. “needy much?” he smiled, pulling you closer against his freshly showered body, leaning your head against his chest. “for you? always.” your comment had diluc blushing brighter than his hair. “me too, angel.”
you don’t really need to initiate cuddles with ajax, he is that fucking needy. always clutching onto you, holding your hand, hugging you from behind, carrying you princess style. however— you don’t really let him take the lead always. quick on your feet, you hugged him from behind as he returned home to you. clothing soiled, the musky scent of sweat lingering in the room as your hands glided across his chest. “welcome home, ajax.” childe could fucking swear his heart lost a beat, that he fell in love with you again the moment your affections reached him. how your care reached him. “happy to be back to you sweet little girlie.” childe is quick to pick you up as if you weigh absolutely nothing, wrapping your legs around his waist and take to towards the shower. sometimes… cuddles would end up in something else. today was one of those days.
alhaitham was immersed in his book as always, not batting an eye and being self indulgent enough to ignore all and everything that encompasses his surroundings. it was until you giddily walked towards him, hugging him and perching yourself on his lap; that a small, quiet, timid tut escaped him. you pouted, leaning yourself against him completely & letting your body turn to slime and melt up against his sturdy one. “i miss you, haitham.” you whimpered, watching your boyfriend hum with a soft smile, still immersed in the god damn book! petting your hair tenderly. “haitham —“ you whined, yanking the book off his hand as an audible, displeased gasp left him. “me, us, right now.” you glared, watching him smirk and pull you close by your waist. “you always get what you want huh? always wrapping me around your pinkie by hook or by crook.” alhaitham kissed your neck, while you hummed in approval. you really did get whatever you want with him. ;)
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tsuvvy · 5 months
Text
You drew stars around my scars
Pairings: Percy Jackson x reader, Annabeth Chase x reader, Connor Stoll x reader, Leo Valdez x reader (separate)
Summary: They comfort your insecurities of your scars
Warnings: Mentions of scars but no specifications of how they got there, I tried to keep it Gender neutral but kind of failed
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You stood in front of the mirror, the sight of the scars on your body making you nauseous. They were disgusting. You were disgusting. Everything about your scarred and ugly body was disgusting.
They made you ugly, gross, and disgusting.
You hadn't heard them come in..
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"What's got your pretty head so wrapped up, huh?" He questioned from behind you, startling you out of your thoughts. You raised your gaze to see Percy behind you in the mirror, his arms crossed as he leaned against the door frame, that flirty dumb smirk that made you swoon laid on his lips.
You turned towards him. "How long have you been there?" You questioned, still a bit startled.
"I asked first." He retorted, pushing himself off of the door frame and coming towards you.
You sighed, rolling your eyes and crossing your arms over your chest. You looked away from the mirror; away from him.
"It's nothing," you said, turning away from the mirror all together and grabbing your shirt off the bed. Before you could put it on, Percy pulled the shirt out of your hands, multitasking and pulling you closer with his other arm.
"You and me both know thats a lie, sweetheart," you spoke into your ear.
"Get off, Percy.." You sighed.
"You're beautiful," you paused. He knew, didn’t he? He knew of your insecurities without you even telling him. But, maybe he was just saying that to say that.
His thumb swiped across a scar on your thigh. That made you realize he did know. He was extremely observant and perceptive despite the learning curves he's had.
"No..." You muttered under your breath. You didn’t agree with him.
He kissed your cheek. "C'mon, hon," he led you over to the bed.
"Wait, what?" Before you could even question anything, Percy had laid on top of you. "Percy! Get off of me!"
"Nope!" He grinned down at you. "I'm not getting off until you agree with me that you are beautiful!"
You sighed in annoyance, giving him a scowl before he leaned his weight on you and hugged your middle. No matter how annoying and stubborn he was, he always managed to make you feel better.
You hugged him with one arm, and you winded your hand into his hair.
Even if the inkling of insecurities still rests in the back of your mind, Percy would keep them in the back. As long as he was with you, there was no chance those thoughts were coming forward. He's there for you, and he always will be.
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I feel like she's a little ooc, so sorry if she is 😓
"What's wrong?" She asked. She could always tell. All it took for her was a glance your way, and she could read every emotion you felt.
You glanced at her in the mirror, your gaze resting back on your scars.
Annabeth waited a moment before sighing softly. She stepped forward towards you, placing a warm and comforting hand on your elbow.
"You have to get out of your head, love," her voice was soft, comforting. Something she didn't show a lot of the time unless she fully trusted who she was talking to.
"I know," you muttered, stepping into her arms, "I know I do, it's just.. It's just so hard, sometimes." Annabeth stared at you for a moment.
She grabbed your hand, "Come with me," she told you.
"Where are we going?" You asked softly.
"To the strawberry fields." She gave you a smile.
You stared at her. Now, the back or her head as she leads you to the strawberry fields. She always knew you so well. The strawberry fields were always so calming to you. You liked to take strolls in them whenever you were feeling stressed.
"My love," you looked up from the strawberries, looking to your girlfriend.
"Yes?"
"You are beautiful." Your lips parted in a bit of surprise. "I love your scars, and your hair, and your smile, and just.." She paused, kneeling down and giving you a kiss on the cheek. "I love you."
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You hadn't seen or even heard the sneaky son of Hermes come into the room. You only noticed him when his warm hand grabbed your hand from behind you startled you.
"Connor?" You questioned, having jumped a moment before when he startled you.
You looked at him in the mirror. His hand on your arm was so light, yet so firm and warm. Your eyes widened slightly when you saw him lean down to your arm, his lips touching a scar on said arm.
You watched him trail his gentle kisses along your scars. Gods, you loved his kisses, and he loved giving them.
Your heart rate increased when his other hand met your torso, gently pulling you to face him just as his lips got to the base of your neck.
"Connor..." You muttered, but he didn't respond as he kissed your jaw.
You gasped softly when his lips finally met yours in a firm yet gentle kiss. And just like his hands on your body, it made you swoon. You leaned into him, and he set his hands on your hips as you laid your arms around his neck.
"You are beautiful," He said, just barely against your lips. You could feel his breath as he spoke, "say it back, tell me you are beautiful."
You were silent for a moment. His eyes had stayed closed for a few moments after the kiss, but when he opened his eyes. You were met with his beautiful sky blue eyes.
"I.." You hesitated, your lip trembling for a second. "I'm beautiful.." You finally muttered out, voice slightly shaky.
"There you go," He smiled, giving your lips a few pecks, "my beautiful girl."
His thumb was gently swiping over a scar on your hip. You didn't want his thumb anywhere else. And for the first time in a long time, you felt a bit better about yourself.
You felt beautiful.
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"Well, look at my gorgeous baby!" Leo cheered, that happy smile you could never resist on his face. He hugged you from behind, his warm and dirty arms landing around your waist. He hadn't realized you were feeling down. Not immediately, anyway.
Leo paused, looking at you in the mirror. He could tell something was wrong. "What is it, mi amor?" He questioned. Those dumb nicknames always made your heart flutter.
"Nothing, I..." You paused, swallowing your disgust for yourself. "I'm fine.." Your voice was quieter.
"I can tell when something is wrong," his arms tightened, "Tell me." He urged almost desperately. He hates seeing you upset, and he hates not being able to help even more.
"I feel.." You paused, staring at him in the mirror. Your eyes locked within it. He was listening intently and waiting patiently for what you would say. "My scars.." You said softly.
"Your scars?" He questioned. He ran his hand across one of the scars on your torso, "What about em'? I love em'"
Your heart fluttered at the feeling of his warm hand over the scar. "How could you possibly love them?" You asked, tears welling in your eyes. Your voice was almost breathless, he has to be lying. "They're so gross and ugly, and.." You stopped, preferring to hold the sob in your throat back rather than continuing on rant.
Leo's gaze softened, "Hey, hey.." He gently turned you around. You just opted to hide your face within your hands. "Hey, Hermosa," his voice was gentle, so we're his hands as he grabbed yours, prying them off your face. "You are the most gorgeous person I have ever laid my eyes on, and a few scars isn't going to change that." He could tell his words weren't helping, so he decided on something that might.
Leo backed up for a second, pulling his shirt over his head. "You say I'm handsome all the time," he started, pointing at a scar on his chest. "Does this make me any less handsome?" He questioned.
You sniffed, wiping your eyes and nose. "No..." You muttered quietly.
"Right," he dropped his shirt on the floor and stepped closer to you. One of his arms, he winded behind your back, pulling you closer to him. Then his other, he raised his hand, wiping you tears with his gentle yet calloused thumb, "So why should your scars make you any less beautiful?"
He placed his hand on your jaw, gently holding it as he leaned in and set his warm lips on top of yours.
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girlrotterr · 3 months
Text
Ultraviolence pt.3
farm!ellie x fem!reader TW!: references to alcohol and substance abuse, along with instances of emotional and verbal abuse. Mentions of miscarriage and PTSD. a/n: the final chapterr!! so internally grateful for all the support this series received. I appreciate you angels & send all my love
read part 1! read part 2!
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You took a deep breath, choosing your words carefully.
‘We both knew the risks. You didn't force me to come with you. We made that decision together," you said, trying to reason with her.
She shot you a glare, her eyes red and filled with anger. "Don't make fucking excuses."
The room turned cold. She wiped away her tears with a rough motion, revealing a hardness in her eyes that hadn't been there before.
"I lost everything. All those people I killed, all the pain I caused, and for what? Nothing. Revenge didn't bring them back. It just left me with a trail of fucking corpses."
You reached out to touch her shoulder, hoping to provide some comfort, but she shrugged it off. 
"Don't fucking touch me. I don't need your pity," Ellie snapped, her voice cutting through the air like a blade.
The warmth that once existed between you had disintegrated, leaving only a cold, bitter residue. She stood up abruptly, storming out of the kitchen. You stood there for a moment, feeling the sharp sting of Ellie's words. For one final time.
Taking a deep breath, you composed yourself and followed after her into the living room. Ellie took a seat on the couch, retrieving a cigarette from her pocket. Her hands trembled as she attempted to calm herself. With puffy eyes, she avoided your gaze, her eyes darting away from yours.
"Ellie, I can't stay here like this. I can't watch you destroy yourself," you said, your voice steady "If you won't let me help, if you won't let anyone in, then I can't be a part of this. I can't keep trying to fix something that you're determined to break."
Ellie turned to face you, anger simmering in her eyes, a huge shift from the vulnerability she had shown moments ago. "So that's it, huh? You're going to leave?"
"It's not about leaving," you replied, meeting her gaze. "I’ve realized that I can't force you to change. I can't make you confront the past if you're not willing to face it yourself."
Her jaw tightened. 
"I can't do it anymore, Ellie!" you continued, your voice with frustration. "I can't stand by and watch you destroy everything, including our family. The constant anger, the distance, it's not fair to him, it's not fair to me."
A flicker of anxiety passed through Ellie's eyes, so quick you almost missed it. But it was there, a crack in her facade. 
"I found a place," you confessed, "Maria.. helped me. It's a small house.” 
Ellie clenched her fist tighter, her nails practically piercing right through her skin. "You can't just take him away from me."
"I'm saving what's left of our family." you shot back, "He deserves a stable environment, one where he doesn't have to-."
Ellie suddenly got up, her eyes begging, yet her body language was saying something entirely different. Trembling, her fists clenched, and her gaze locked onto you with worry. No, it wasn't just worry—it was raw, genuine fear. The very fear she dreaded most was happening right before her eyes. You were leaving. Taking your son with you, and leaving her behind. Ellie's hands quivered, her nails digging so deeply into her palms that they burned. 
Her breathing came in shallow gasps, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she struggled to calm herself. "Please,.." she whispered, "Don't…leave..me"
"Ellie..." Your voice quivered, torn between your own fear and wanting to comfort her.
But she wasn't finished. With desperation, she took a step closer, her voice trembling as she continued, "You can't do this. p-please, don't take him away from me. I-I..need you both. I can't... I can't do this alone."
You felt a lump form in your throat. 
"We’re leaving." you finally said, your voice remaining firm. 
Desperation and anger flashed in Ellie's eyes. "No, no, no!" she cried out, her voice turning into a panicked plea. "You can't just abandon me. I-Iwon't let you."
Ellie bolted towards the stairs, her footsteps hard against the wooden steps. Panic rushed through you, followed behind her, fearing what she might do next. As you reached the top of the staircase, you saw Ellie rushing towards your child's room.
"Ellie, stop!" you shouted, your heart racing.
But she ignored you, flinging open the door to your child's room. Panic and confusion gripped you as you chased after her. 
"Ellie, please!" you pleaded, your voice trembling with desperation.
She turned to face you, desperation on her face. "If you leave, I'm taking him with me. I won't let you take him away!"
Your heart thumped in your chest as Ellie's trembling hands reached for your child. In a flash, she scooped him into her arms, holding him protectively against her chest. His innocent eyes widened in confusion, fear surrounding him.
"No! Ellie, stop it!" you cried out, reaching out to her.
But she clutched him tighter, her voice trembling. "No! n-not yet.. It's too soon! I... I haven't... I haven't..."
The realization struck you. Ellie’s words trailed off. She was lost in a moment of painful memory. She was thinking of Joel. The wounds of their relationship still raw and unhealed. Your child in her arms was a symbol, a fragile connection to the past that haunted her.
"Ellie..." Your voice softened, the weight of her grief finally making sense."It's not him. He's safe. You're safe."
Tears welled up in Ellie's eyes as she clung to your child, her shaking grip. "I... I couldn't save him. I couldn't save him..."
The weight of her words settled in the room, and you finally understood the depth of her pain. It wasn't just about you leaving; it was the fear of losing the people she cared about, a fear rooted so far deep in the scars of her past.
Your child, looked up at Ellie with innocent eyes. "What's wrong mommy ?" the small voice asked. 
Ellie's gaze shifted to him, pain and guilt plastered on her face. She couldn't find the words to answer, her throat tightening.
"Mommy, why are you sad?" he continued, he needed to know what was wrong. He couldn’t stand to see Ellie like this. 
Ellie's breath hitched, pulling the child even closer to her chest. The room seemed to trap her, the walls closing in as if they were tightening, her grip on your child's arms remained. As if he was her only form of escape. 
"I..I won’t.." Ellie mumbled, almost to herself, her voice strained.
Your child’s worry grew, he turned to look at you, needing an answer. You knew you had to do something, but what?
"Ellie, please, just listen to me," you pleaded, taking slow steps towards her.
"g-get away!" she yelled, holding onto your child even tighter, her hands clenching around his small arms.
"ow!" he yelped, a sudden pain in his voice.
Your heart raced with a surge of panic. You didn’t want him to be involved in this.
"please, just let him go, and we can talk about thi-"
"Shut the fuck up!" Ellie yelled, her voice vibrating throughout the entire room.
Your child's eyes began to water, his anxiety growing with each passing second. He didn't know what to think or do. 
"m..mommy, i-it hurts.." he hiccuped, looking up at Ellie with stained cheeks, tears streaming down like rivers.
Ellie's mind was in complete disarray, buzzing with countless thoughts that raced with chaos. Her hands shook, her body unable to find stillness. Her eyebrows furrowed as she struggled to gather herself. Adrenaline surged through her veins, her breaths coming in heavy uneven gasps. She couldn't focus on anything anymore; all her senses were useless. 
A ringing began to buzz in her ears, her eyes frantically scanning the room, catching a glimpse of you, your lips moving as you tried to speak to her. But the ringing was so unbearable, drowning out any sound.
"ELLIE!" your voice pierced right through it. 
───
“ELLIE!” 
Ellie snapped her neck towards the shout of her name, eyes widening as she took in the sight before her.
There you stood, hands trembling, your shirt drenched in blood, the crimson liquid slowly seeping onto the damp grass. Your eyes were wide, on the verge of bursting. filled with an overflow of tears. Your legs shook, threatening to give way at any moment, knees weakened by the sharp pain from the blade lodged in your lower stomach, Your throat felt strained, as if ellie’s name was all you could speak. 
Frantically, Ellie ran towards you, her heart pounding against her chest. With each step, she stumbled, her breath quickening.
no..No..NO!! 
As Ellie reached you, a rush of tears burst from your eyes, your face covered in salty droplets that slid down your quivering lips.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Ellie exclaimed in panic, her hands moving frantically as she tried to figure out what to do. "H-Here, baby, lay down," she urged, her voice trembling as she tried to stay strong. 
Ellie gently guided you to lie down, your entire body ached with anguish, trembling as you grunted in pain, trying to remain as quiet as possible. Not wanting to attract any attention. 
You were completely surrounded by the WLF. 
You sank into the damp grass, the earth stained with blood, the sharp scent of iron filling the air. Ellie knelt beside you, her hands trembling as she stared down at you.
"I need something to stop the bleeding," she muttered to herself, her eyes darting around.
"s-stay with me, please," she pleaded, her voice trembling with fear. With swift movements, she tore fabric from her own shirt, clutching it tightly in her shaking hands.
"I'm going to t-take it out... okay?" she said nervously, her gaze fixated on your stomach.
You weakly reached for Ellie's, your own hands completely bloodied from clutching your abdomen. Ellie looked at you, her eyes watering, her gaze filled with terror.
"I got you." she said, leaning forward and placing a kiss on your forehead. The softness of her pink lips being the only warm sensation your body felt. You closed your eyes, hiccuping as silent sobs shook your body. 
You nodded weakly, unable to utter a single word. The pain was too overwhelming, threatening to consume you if you let out even a whimper.
Ellie nodded back, a gesture of readiness. She placed her right hand on your stomach, shaking uncontrollably as she made contact with your cold skin. 
You brought the side of your hand up to your mouth, pressing your teeth into it to suppress the agony.
Ellie reached for the handle of the blade, her hand hesitating as if she were afraid of the very object she needed to hold. Her heart sank as she drew closer to it, her hands finally gripping around it with a shaky grip.
She knew what she was about to do. Pulling out the blade meant unleashing a flow of blood, a sign that your baby's life would be lost along with it. It meant she would have to endure yet another loss of someone she deeply loved.
Ellie's mind raced, her breath quickening with every passing thought. Tears streamed down her face, her chest rising rapidly with the weight of the decision before her. Her lips quivered as she bit down on her bottom lip. 
What she would give to be the one to die instead. 
The baby she could've raised.
Her hand tightened around the knife.
The baby she had dreamed of carrying.
Swiftly, Ellie pulled the blade, the sharp "shling!" sound muffling your groans as blood began to pour out.
The baby she would've killed for.
Urgently, Ellie applied the torn cloth to your wound, her hands working quickly despite their shaking. She pressed down firmly, trying to control the flow of blood as best as she could.
You clenched your teeth, suppressing the cries of pain that wanted to escape your lips. Every movement sent waves of agony through your body, but you gritted your teeth and endured. Your face was completely drenched in tears and snot. 
You had lost everything—the future you had daydreamed about.
Ellie's arms shook as she patched you up, her body convulsing with sobs, her bottom lip bitten to muffle them. Tears streamed down her face, falling onto your skin.
"Ellie.." you whispered, your voice barely a breath. 
───
"Ellie.." you repeated.
You stood before her, your presence causing her eyes to flicker as if what was before her was unreal. Ellie's gaze dropped to your child, his head resting gently against her chest. For a moment, it seemed she had disappeared entirely, lost in a memory. 
"I..." Ellie began, her voice choked as she looked back up at you, tears glistening in her eyes. "I can't keep running from it.." 
"I need to face it.” Ellie continued, her tone serious. "For you, for our child... for myself. I need to change, to become someone you can rely on, someone worthy of your love."
Your heart pounded, each beat a flicker of hope. You realized in that moment, the true reason you couldn't fully accept Ellie's presence this morning. Despite her being in bed with you after months of being absent, she remained unrecognizable. She wasn't the woman you had fallen for, the woman who once held a place in your heart. 
"I'll.. find you again, I promise," Ellie said finally, her voice firm. "No matter what it takes, I'll find my way back to you."
Finally. 
Ellie's words created something, a belief that maybe, just maybe, things could change for the better.
With tear-filled eyes, you gently squeezed her hand.
— 
Tommy’s truck sat parked in the driveway, hauling boxes filled with you and your child’s belongings. With a heavy sigh, you struggled to carry one of the larger boxes towards the truck.
“That’s a heavy one, let me get it for ya,” Tommy offered, stepping forward to take it.
“Thank you,” you replied gratefully
“No problem,” he responded with a chuckle, making his way towards the truck. 
As Tommy loaded the remaining boxes, you took a moment to glance around the mostly-empty house. Most of its decorations had been packed away, leaving the space feeling a bit bare., Ellie’s belongings being the only ones untouched. 
"Mama! Mama!" Your child's voice yelled, filled with excitement as he raced towards you. "I checked the whole house and no more boxes!"
You smiled proudly at him. "Thank you, honey," you said, reaching out to ruffle his hair as he giggled happily.
You had explained to him that you were moving into a new home, and that Ellie wouldn't be joining you right away. Instead, she would stay at the farmhouse, protecting it from monsters until she was sure it was safe. Only then would she come to live with you. It was the easiest way to explain the situation to him, and he had undoubtedly understood.
"Hey," Ellie called out as she walked outside 
"Hey," you greeted, offering her a warm smile. "We're all ready to go."
She nodded softly, her gaze shifting to your child. "Did you secure the house?"
Your child giggled, rushing towards Ellie and embracing her tight hug before doing a playful salute. "All clear!"
Ellie chuckled, ruffling your child's hair playfully. "Good job, kiddo."
"Alright, everything's packed and ready to roll," Tommy announced, clasping his hands together. "Oh, but uh, mind if I use yer bathroom real quick?"
Ellie nodded, gesturing towards the house. "Door to your left."
"Gotcha," Tommy replied, hurrying inside.
Ellie approached you, her steps hesitant. She reached for your hand, her touch gentle as she caressed it softly with her thumb. The sensation of your skin against hers stirred something deep within her, a longing she hadn't realized she harbored so intensely.
"I..." Ellie hesitated. She wanted to say the words, those three simple words that held so much. But she knew she didn't have the right to utter them, not yet. She had to prove herself, show you that she was worthy of saying them, and that you could believe in them too.
As you gazed into her eyes, you saw her determination. It was a silent promise, to do whatever it took to earn back your trust and love. 
"make us..believe again," you said, meeting her gaze. 
Ellie nodded firmly.
You offered Ellie a final smile before lifting your child into your arms. "Take care, Els,"
"Take care, Mommy! Keep the monsters away!" your child chimed in.
"I will," Ellie replied, her voice filled with reassurance as she waved goodbye to both of you while you walked towards the truck.
Tommy emerged from the house, embracing Ellie before stepping back and shaking her hand firmly. "Be safe," he said.
"Don't worry," Ellie responded, feeling the paper Tommy slipped into her hand. "I am."
With a firm nod, Tommy walked away towards the truck, getting inside and starting the engine. As the truck began to move, Ellie waved goodbye, your child's head poking out of the window as he waved back. The truck slowly but surely disappeared into the distance,.
Ellie lowered her hand from waving goodbye, clutching the paper tightly in her grasp. With heavy steps, she entered the house, shutting the door behind her with a loud thud. Throwing the folded paper onto the kitchen table, she quickly ascended the stairs to your old shared bedroom.
Opening the door, Ellie headed directly for the closet, rummaging through it until her fingers found the familiar grip of her shotgun—the same one she had drunkenly tried finding that one night. Gotcha.
Snatching up her packed backpack, Ellie hurried back downstairs, clutching her shotgun firmly. At the kitchen table, she placed her bag on its surface, extracting shotgun shells and loading them into the weapon. Placing the gun on the table before unfolding the paper.
A tourist map of Seattle.
Ellie's lips curled into a smirk as she scanned the map thoroughly. "Huh, you’re still there," she muttered, eagerness coursing through her veins.
Stuffing the map into her pocket and slinging her backpack over her shoulders, Ellie grabbed her shotgun once more. With ease, she cocked the weapon, the familiar click echoing.
She was truly going to face her past.
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sunny44 · 9 months
Text
Reunions on the track
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Ex best friend!reader
Warnings: fights
Summary: Charles and Y/n have known each other since they were five years old, but with the start of his motorsport career they lost touch.
Years later, when Charles was driving for Ferrari in Formula 1 and Y/n had a degree in photography, their paths crossed again when she was hired as the team's new photographer.
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I was accustomed to the Formula 1 circus.
The roar of engines, the team's hustle and bustle, cameras always pointed in his direction. But on this sunny morning, I was surprised with something or someone to be more specific. I entered the Scuderia Ferrari pitlane and that’s when I saw her, with her back turned to him, skillfully handling a camera. Y/n. Her name echoed in his mind like an echo from the past.
I assumed from the camera in her hand that she had filled the vacancy at Ferrari.
"Are you kidding me?" Charles muttered, addressing Mattia Binotto, the head of the Ferrari team. "Is Y/n here?"
Mattia smiled, as if he knew this could cause turbulence.
“Surprise, Charles. She’s our new photographer. Y/n has an incredible eye for capturing the most intense moments of the races.”
I made an effort to control the flood of emotions rising in me. Me and Y/n had been inseparable friends since childhood, but we drifted apart over time, especially when my career in motorsport took off.
We hadn't spoken in years, and now she is here, on the same team as me.
Our friendship was perfect, we had known each other forever, and I remember our mothers saying that we would definitely get married if we just got older. Over time, I realized that I had feelings for her, and I was willing to wait until we were old enough and then confess my feelings to her. But then everything changed.
I started rapidly advancing through categories, and then I just stopped talking to her.
I stood there for a few minutes just looking at her until Y/n finally turned around, and their gazes met. It wasn't a warm and joyful reunion. On the contrary, there was a moment of tense silence before Y/n broke it.
"Charles Leclerc, the Ferrari golden boy." she said, with a sarcastic smile. "Who would have thought you'd become so famous, huh?"
Charles felt his face grow warm.
“Don’t start Y/n.”
"Don't start? You just disappear from my life when you started winning races, and I'm the one who can't say anything?"
I don't know why, but I didn't think she would be this hostile.
"I was busy, Y/n. You know how life is in F1."
"Busy or not, you could have found a way to stay in touch. But, of course, you had more important things to do than to care about me." She looked at me, hurt. "But who am I to blame you, right? After all, with fame and beautiful models hanging on your neck all the time, I wouldn't mean anything to you anyway."
Those words hit Charles like a punch in the stomach. He knew he had made mistakes, but he never imagined that Y/n was so hurt.
"I'm sorry, Y/n. I should have been a better friend." She let out an exasperated sigh.
"It doesn't matter anymore. I'm here to do my job," she said sternly. "You just need to pretend that I mean nothing to you; I don't think it will be that difficult."
I simply nodded, realizing that the situation was far from resolved. While the engines roared in the background, indicating that I had to get into the car next.
And, of course, I spent the entire practice session thinking about how to have her back in my life.
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Bonus scene!
Yourusername instagram stories
“First day of work done”
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Y/n.jpg nstagram post
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Liked by @lando.jpg, @Scuderiaferrari, @charlesleclerc and @maxverstappen
Y/n.jpg My dream came true and I’m in Monaco photographing the formula 1 Grand Prix
This is the best weekend of my life and here’s a few photos 🏎️
F1 welcome to the f1 family
Maxverstappen nice photos
Liked by y/n.jpg
Landonorris hello there
Carlossainz welcome to the team
Y/n.jpg thank you
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enhagvrl · 28 days
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en- when their words upset you
a/n: I'm backkkkk!!!! keep your eyes upon cause im currently working on a long sh fic and a series for niki. thank you to everyone for being patient with me and don't hesitate to send in your requests!!<33
rest : fifaz pocketz 02z
heeseung
“ Well I’d be damned if my girlfriend was actually as crazy as people call her to be.” 
You have always been a quiet kid, keeping to yourself most of the time. But someone managed to watch you get into a fight with a stranger on the street. You were simply trying to defend yourself from being harassed by some perverted stranger when you kicked them too hard in the side of their stomach and broke one or two ribs.
Since then rumours had been going around the campus that you were a brutal little shit who had gotten into a lot of fights which made you the target of other people’s gossip and just messed up your whole school life.
But at that time, heeseung was the one who really did not give in to those rumours -  he hung out with you and made you feel all sorts of giddy feelings you have never experienced with anyone else before. 
But right now was not the case, as you were left alone in your thoughts about heeseung maybe believing all those rumours about you too.
“ Baby, you okay?” heeseung asked, voice laced with concern over the sudden quiet atmosphere which took over the room within 5 seconds
“ huh? Yes? Yeah. I’m okay. Sorry, what were you saying?” you asked, your voice devoid of any sort of emotion which made heeseung wonder if he said something wrong.
“No you went silent all of a sudden so just got worried. What’s on your mind? Tell me.” hee said, turning his whole body towards you to make it known that you have his entire attention now. 
Not being able to take in the sudden change in the atmosphere, and the obliviousness of heeseung to the effect his words had on you, you muttered a quick “ sorry. I’ll be back.” and rushed out of the house leaving behind a confused heeseung who had not got a moment to register your apology properly before you already disappeared from his sight.
niki
“ Of course you wouldn’t be able to get in with that body of yours”
You had been trying real hard auditioning to get into this big dance team in your city which will be performing in SDC, one of the biggest dance competitions out there. But no matter how many routines you showed them, they still did not approve of you joining the team and told you to stay back in the studio. You were clearly aware that the reason they were not taking you in despite your excellent dancing skills was because of your body. You did not have a slim dancer body as other dancers have and SDC heavily depended on judging the figures of the dancers participating. But in hopes of changing that, you were constantly trying. 
“Bae, you good?” you snapped out of your trance, hearing your name being called. There stood Niki, breathing heavily and the track humble by kendrick lamar now softly playing in the background. 
“What are you thinking about?” he asked a second time, noticing your eyes were distant and how you stopped rambling about how unfair the world is to people like you. 
“....yeah…yeah yeah I’m fine…nothing…just kind of zoned out.” 
“ oi, don’t think too much about it. You couldn’t get in, you could not. That’s fine. You just have to work on your body more. You know competitions these days heavily depend on how well it looks executed and for that you are required to have a perfect body, as they call it.” he says, turning up the volume again and getting back to practise for his artist of the month performance. “Don’t ponder about it too much,  and just get to work with your body if you want to get into those big contests.” 
Instead of taking his constructive criticism as motivation like you always do, you felt tears welling up and ran out of the practice room. The music had stopped and quick footsteps could be heard behind you, but you ran without looking back.
© enhagvrl on tumblr, 2024.
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wildlife4life · 2 months
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Fuck-It Friday Coda
Tagged by the amazing @hippolotamus @jesuisici33 @wikiangela and @tizniz (who dropped a whole new fic!) Thank you so much! Hope you all are just as hyped for bi-buck as I am!!!!!!! Not much to say than what's being said everywhere for 7x04. Here is my coda this historic episode and it can be read on ao3 as well. Enjoy!
It’s never really a surprise anymore whenever Buck runs into Tommy at the 118’s favorite hook and ladder bar. Hell, before they broke up, Tommy took him to this bar on a couple dates. Awkward dates but dates all the same.
Buck is waiting for the latest rounds of drinks at the bar when a familiar hand lands on his shoulder, “Hey Evan.”
He whirls around and comes face to face with the very man that opened Buck up to whole new world. “H-h-hey Tommy.” He greets nervously, gaze flickering over to where his team, Maddie, Athena, and some friends from dispatch sat.
Tommy catches it and smirks, “Here with the entire crew huh? What’s the cause for this meet up? Didn’t see or hear about any big Buckley heroics over the radio waves.”
Buck finally catches Eddie attention, and his partner stiffens slightly at the sight of Tommy. They were all still friends, mostly, but after the pilot ended things with Buck, sides were taken… in more ways than one.
“You lied back then. In your loft, before I kissed you.” Tommy stated, staring out the hanger doors, hands shoved deep into his flight suit’s pockets.
Wretchedness gripped Buck’s throat tightly. He knew where this was headed, and for just the briefest moment he wanted to fight it. Fight for what he and Tommy had. “I didn’t lie. I wanted to get to know you, I thought-I still think you are cool, and I just wanted you see that.” His voice was high and tight with the brittle lie.
Tommy shook his head and Buck caught his grimacing smile, “Buck you need to stop lying to yourself and open your damn eyes. I have and you want to know what I saw?” His voice cracked with anguish.
Buck’s lower lip trembled, and he could feel the prickle of tears. He didn’t want to know. He didn’t want to face it. Because if he opened his eyes to what Tommy is seeing, the despair would be 10 times worse than what he’s facing at the time.
Always the bravest of two of them, Tommy scoffed at Buck’s silence and pushed on, “You weren’t vying for my attention. You never have. Evan you never did any sort of chasing in this relationship, I did. I so was blinded by how endearing and open you were about your best friend, that I failed to see you misplacing you’re confused emotions onto the nearest person showing you affection. Me.”
The tears began to flow when Buck shook his head, “No Tommy. I liked you; I just didn’t know about that part of myself until you showed it to me.”  He tried defending.
His boyfriend snorted, “Liked. Past. Not present.”
And Buck’s heart dropped into his gut.
Finally, Tommy looked at him and everything in his stomach becomes rancid at the utter heartbreak on the older man’s face, “I’m glad I could help you embrace your bisexuality. Truly I am. I know how freeing it can be.  But Evan, those feelings you’ve have for men, for that one special man have always been there and instead of facing them, you took the easy way out with me. And fuck man, it hurts. It really does.”
“Tommy…” Buck started, but Tommy’s hand gripping his wrist silenced him.
“Evan-Buck. Its-well it’s not entirely okay, but you didn’t know or see and neither did I. At least not until you came back from Chim’s bachelor party. You two couldn’t even look each other in the eye and you’ve been off since.”
That’s because he and Eddie got into the biggest fight of their lives during Chimney’s bachelor weekend.  Because Eddie had been acting off since Buck came out, even though he promised nothing would change. Because Buck once again became enviously green when Eddie kept his attention on the private bar tender. Because Eddie looked Buck in the eye and asked, ‘Why does he get that part of you?’ in the middle of their screaming match that Buck still has no idea how it started but ended there. Because they both walked away, too scared to confront any of those feelings. Because Buck knew deep down, he wanted to give everything he was giving to Tommy, to Eddie and so much more.
“You are such a wonderful man Buck and I know it was never your intention to hurt anyone. But us being together, it’s destroying me and you and...” Tommy sucked in a sharp breath, “And Eddie.”
And there it was. Everything that Buck has been denying since Tommy confronted him in his loft.  The person who was really behind Buck’s complex and confused emotions those few months ago. It was time Buck accepted it. It was time to open his eyes. It was time to let Tommy go.
Buck let out a sob and tugged Tommy into a tight embrace, “I’m sorry, I really am.”
Tommy sniffled, “You have nothing to apologize for Evan.” He pulled back and put Buck at arm’s length, giving him a wet smile, “I was more than honored to be your queer awakening and guru.”
Buck barked out a soggy laugh, “You turned my entire world on its axis man, but in the best way possible.”
“You’re a special one Evan and Eddie… god what you two have and what it can be.” Tommy shook his head chuckling, “I can’t stand in the way of that anymore.”
The younger firefighter stuttered out a breath, “I think that’s more on me than you.” And gets a hum of agreement from his now ex-boyfriend. He stuck a hand out, “Friends?”
Tommy didn’t even hesitate and slapped his own hand into Buck’s, squeezing tight, “Absolutely. Just give me some time, and yourself as well.”
Buck took two days after the break-up to mourn what had been his best relationship to date, to wallow in his unknown carelessness, and to confront those mixed emotions that drew him to Tommy in the first place. Then he packed his duffle and went to work.
Chimney was the first to confront him since Tommy turned down a night out at the karaoke bar and explained that he and Buck broke up. Hen followed because those two paramedics tell each other everything. Bobby reminded Buck that he was willing to listen before giving his shoulder a squeeze. Ravi seemed, relieved, but sympathetic. And Eddie pulled him into the tightest embrace asking, “Why?”
Buck didn’t give him the entire answer. Simply stated, “It wasn’t working.”
Months later Buck gave him the entire truth by taking a page out Tommy’s book and kissing Eddie senseless with a firm grip on his chin.  Eddie, who was babbling away in his kitchen about not seeing what was in front of him and desperate to know if Buck is willing to give Eddie every part of himself, kissed Buck back with ferocity. When they pulled apart Buck finally told him why Tommy ended things, “He saw what we were all too scared to look at.”
That was almost a month ago and Buck is deliriously happy with his life, with his boyfriend, with Eddie. He doesn’t need to be weird or nervous around the man that helped lead him here.  So, he winks at Eddie, telling him it’s all good, and gives his attention to Tommy. “No big newsworthy rescues. Though Chimney did rescue his 100th cat.”
Tommy shakes his head laughing, “An almost impossible feat.”
“Very much so.” Buck comments, “We’re here to celebrate Maddie’s promotion at dispatch. Officially a supervisor.”
“Hey good for her!” Tommy exclaims, “Honestly surprised it took this long. Her voice seems to be on all the major calls lately.”
Buck nods, “Yea. Would have been a different ending for all of us after the bridge collapse last year if it weren’t for my sister.”
“Man, you Buckley’s and your heroism.”
Buck blushes, Tommy Kinnard always the charmer. The other man smirks, knowing the effect he has on him still. “You look good Buck. Happy. Wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain firefighter that’s all over your Instagram lately? Hm?”
As if summoned by Tommy’s mere mention of him, a red Henley covered arm snakes its away around Buck’s waist and warmth lines up along his back. “Hey Tommy, good to see yuh man.” Eddie greets smoothly before nuzzling close to Buck’s ear, “Get that drink order in yet babe?” He asks just loud enough to be overheard by certain people close by.
The pilot’s smirk broadens, but gives a friendly slap to Eddie’s back, “Good to see yuh too Diaz. Been a minute.”
Eddie nods and his nose moves along Buck’s jaw at the movement, making him tremble, “It has. Maybe we can meet up to spar sometime.”
Before his bisexual awakening and the admittance of his true feelings, hearing his boyfriend make plans with another man would have sent him on a downward spiral. Now, thanks in part to Tommy, Eddie, his sister, and the entirety of the 118, but mostly himself, Buck is secure and at peace with his place in their lives, in Eddie’s life.
But that still doesn’t stop his big hearted, ever thoughtful boyfriend from asking, “I know I’ve only taught you the basics, but you could join Evan.”
Buck leans back into Eddie’s embrace and brushes his lips against his partner’s cheek, “Hmm. I’d rather go for the title on more equal grounds, and I really want to save myself the embarrassment of Tommy seeing my ass get kicked.”
His ex snorts out a laugh, while Eddie’s cheeks pinken at Buck’s innuendo of the actual kind of sweaty, half naked situation they want to be in. “Still shameless as ever huh Evan?” Tommy comments.
Buck shrugs, “Nothing to be ashamed of. My boyfriend is hot and I prefer to have my ass handed to me in more intimate ways. But you two can kick, spin, and punch your little hearts out. I’ll enjoy some time with Christopher, maybe even take him to a field and play the much superior sport, football.”
“God you really do not like basketball huh?” Tommy retorts with a shake of his head, probably remembering the first and last time they played, ending with Buck almost breaking Eddie’s ankle in a confused jealous rage.
“I won’t let him near anything orange and spherical.” Eddie jokes giving Buck a tight squeeze. “But if you are up to it, I would love to come over and go a few rounds. You do have a pretty sweet set up.”
The LAFD piolet grins, “Bring the Chevelle too, we can give it a once over.”
Buck makes a mental reminder to give the back seat of said car a good cleaning because the last time he and Eddie drove it out, Buck took Eddie apart in back seat and a t-shirt wipe down definitely did not suffice as ‘clean up’.
Eddie clears his throat, and his blush deepens. Yea, he’s thinking the same. “Sounds good. I’ll shoot you text and set up a time.”
Knowing the conversation is coming to an end, Buck flags down the bar tender before looking over at Tommy, “You should join us. Drinks are on,” He pauses trying to remember who lost the credit card roulette and laughs when it comes to him, “Drinks are on Josh.”
Tommy softens at the invitation, “Drinks with the 118, haven’t done that in a while. I’m in. Miller lite to start.”
Buck laughs, “Yea I know. Go join the others, Eddie and I got this.”
“Yea, I know you do. BuckandEddie, the dream team. Happy for you both, truly.” Tommy kindly states, then gives a shoulder pat to the two of them before strolling away to join the 118 and dispatchers. They faintly hear loud cheers and greetings when he gets close, their friends and family always happy to see the man who put his life and career on the line for them.
Buck places their drink order and when the bar tender slides away, Eddie pulls him back into his chest and growls into his ear, “You may not be green with envy anymore, but I sort of am.”
A shiver runs down Buck’s spine at his boyfriend’s possessive tone and knew all too well that their time at the bar was going to be short lived…unless.
“It’s no Chevelle, but the jeep is parked pretty close.” Buck breathlessly tells him.
Eddie gives him a wicked grin, “You want to take me in the jeep?”
“Wanna go for another title?”
I put in so many references from the episode and previous episodes too, as mini celebration to the 100th episode. Hope you all enjoyed! If you want to know when I drop coda fic go interact with my pinned post. Tagging (no pressure): @try-set-me-on-fire @devirnis @bi-buckrights @exhuastedpigeon @cal-daisies-and-briars @bidisasterbuckdiaz @rainbow-nerdss @daffi-990 @dangerpronebuddie @theotherbuckley @watchyourbuck @perfectlysunny02 @aroeddiediaz @loserdiaz @diazsdimples @fortheloveofbuddie @rogerzsteven @lemonzestywrites @evanbegins @bi-buck-coded @glorious-spoon @thekristen999 @spotsandsocks @sunshinediaz @lover-of-mine @hoodie-buck @elvensorceress @bucksbiawakening @giddyupbuck @goforkinard @bekkachaos @thewolvesof1998 @eddiebabygirldiaz @spaceprincessem @bibuckbuckley @honestlydarkprincess @doublecheekeddiaz @prosperdemeter2 @transboybuckley @nmcggg @monsterrae1 @missmagooglie @bigfootsmom @911onabc @911-on-abc @homerforsure
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pokegalla · 4 months
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Requested/traded by @veiled-rebel
Oooooo more options to choose from on this! Plus a something i resonate with✨
(Also. I’m aware that Alastor is Aro/Ace. Just read it as platonic if you’d like!)
Hazbin boys with an S/o that noms affectionately!
Lucifer:
* Listen he already has seen all TYPES of affection! From his wife! And well the couples from those tv shows and his duck operas! (……he’s depressed leave the poor man alone-) but….nomming is definitely new.
* First time you did it, he legit screamed before realizing it was you. He’s like baby why-? You scared the shit out of me- bro thought his rubber ducks came to life and chose violence-
* But he soon learns that you just do it to show affection. And he learns this when he saw your face looking up at him from sheer adoration mid nom. And oh how could he say no to that precious face?❤️ he lets you do it anytime you want comfort or simply to show him how much you love him.
* So whenever you’re feeling down and you suddenly stop nomming, he’s rushing with a shitton of gifts to see if you’re ok and is ready to make you feel better.
* At this point he’s used to it and feels so loved whenever you’re around….
Alastor:
* Honestly I feel like he’s heard about nomming and had no idea what the hell it was. Until he met your ass. Now he’s wondering how he managed to get someone like you in his life-
* First time you are extremely lucky you didn’t fucking die- he barely lets people touch him unless you’re close to him. Which you are…..But you snuck up on him on this one. Lesson learned-
* He’s very confused when you explain it to him too. Like why ARE you doing this? Affection? Are you mentally ok-? He’s probably gonna need a little convincing but hey enough pestering and he’ll let you nom to your heart’s content (if it will shut you up-)
* But he ends up learning your emotional habits through noms. Sad? Your noms get less motivated and almost stops completely. Excited? You get that goofy smile on your face. Mad? Almost nomming his hand off- he makes mental notes of it.
* Safe to say, nomming actually got you closer to the radio demon. Such an odd turn of events!
Husk:
* He’s heard of nomming. Probably from some random person at the bar mentioned it. He finds it….well a weird ass conversation starter. But when he mentioned it to you and that he didn’t get it, you gladly showed him!
* And first time was definitely fucking hilarious. He let you nom his shoulder….and in return you got cat hair in your mouth for being a little too overzealous. Shit had Husk laughing for a hot minute-
* But overtime you were more careful and nommed places that were covered or with less hair. And overtime….he actually kinda enjoys it. Very chill about it. You could nom him mid conversation and he’d still just just talk like nothing happened-
* Though the moment you slow down because you feel sad? BOOM. Le kitty actually noms you! Which is probably shocking considering Husk’s grumpy ass. It was so cute, you forgot why you was upset-
* Talk about a happy win-win situation!!!
Angel Dust:
* Imma be straightforward…..he thought it was a sex thing. And hard to blame him. I mean the shit he’s seen and experienced? Nomming sounds too fucking innocent to not be horny-
* Buuuut first time you did it, he was completely caught off guard when you just suddenly lunged at his free hand. And yet….huh. It wasn’t TOO bad. He didn’t expect it to be gentle. He’s definitely gonna make a dirty joke about you being kinky-
* He never rejects your noms either. He just pats your head as if reciprocating your affection. He can’t help it! You just look like a little cutie when you do it! And your silly lil face you make? You’re his special lil goofball! Oh man he is gushing isn’t he?
* Bro be ready to gun down buildings if you’re sad and stop your noms. But if you’re just not feeling it? Shit say less. He’ll nom you! He’s so gentle too, not wanting to hurt you with his sharp teeth….but teases the shit out of you the moment you blush. He can’t help it :3
* He’s just a spidey boy in love. And any affection of yours is ok with him!
Sir Pentious:
* He’s….definitely not gonna know nomming. Or a lot of ways to show affection in general. He’s old school and inexperienced hun. But he has the determination. And that’s enough to you✨
* Though first time he did scream bloody murder, act like he was dying dramatically, then realize it was just you. So of course he asks what the heck was that for?! Once you explain it, he listens intently….and vows to practice the arts of nomming!
* So there goes a back and forth nomming session that happens ever so randomly- mostly him just trying to learn how to nom you carefully. Because have you seen his teeth??? He does learn though! And he actually finds it as fun as you do!
* Awwww but when you stop the sessions, he will demand his egg boys to prepare his chambers! So you and him and the egg boys cuddle up until you feel better. Which cmon it’s hard not to gush seeing how cute this is-
* He really lovesssss you a whole lot :D (that was an awful joke- :’D)
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beom-pyu · 1 year
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lust for life ☆⋆。𖦹°‧★ kang taehyun
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kang taehyun x fem!reader (choi yeonjun x fem!reader) , tags: non idol au , friends to lovers , one-sided crushes , pining , fluff , nsfw , angst , friend!taehyun , bff!yeonjun , roommate!yeonjun , college au , one-sided crushes , angst , pink-haired taehyun because why not, reader is a little ditzy but you mean well!! , pwp
warnings: smut (minors dni) , cursing , fingering , drinking , service top!taehyun (i need to spread this agenda please hear me out) , unprotected sex (reader is on the pill) , sane and consensual! , car sex (i have an obsession) , reader is going thru it
"in these stolen moments, the world is mine. there's nobody here—just us together. keepin' me hot like july forever."
a/n: hiii it's been a while! i've had this in the drafts for a little bit and i finally finished it yayyyy!! also happy 520+ in just a little over a month??? ily guys with all of my heart :,,,) i hope u enjoy!!! (this has only been proofread once so plz excuse any mistakes!)
wc: 8.17k
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you’ve never been a fan of pancakes. in fact, you had even won an online debate about how waffles are the better breakfast food back in middle school on some weird forum site. pancakes are just too starchy, too flimsy, and way too bland. you’d rather eat sand than willingly go out of your way to devour a plate of pancakes.
but as yeonjun hand feeds you a bite of the blueberry pancakes he made for your “friendiversary” (the friendship anniversary that you guys celebrate every year), you decide right then and there that you have become a pancake connoisseur—a devotee… a fanatic, if you will.
you hum in delight, clapping your hands in appreciation as you chew the slice of doughy goodness. yeonjun watches your reaction with hopeful eyes—those fox-like eyes, shining as the daylight from the kitchen window hits his irises, a chocolate brown ring hidden in the center. you think you can get lost in them forever: the way they bunch up when he smiles widely, the way his eyelashes frame them beautifully, the way they seem to display any and every emotion he feels. those captivating, enchanting eyes.
“does it taste okay?” yeonjun asks, his soft voice snapping you back into reality. you’re nodding quickly before you even realize it, giving him two thumbs up as you swallow the food. 
“i didn’t know you were a pancake expert,” you joke, picking up your own fork to grab a strawberry off of your plate. yeonjun shakes his head with a faint smile, pushing around the food on his plate as he watches you eat.
“i just threw some things together. guess i’m just a natural, huh?” his voice is filled with feign cockiness and you find yourself giggling at the way he leans back in his seat with his arms behind his head like some 90s chick-flick jock.
he looks especially good today—you don’t know if it’s just the warm feelings surrounding your friendiversary, or if it’s the way the sun rays frame his figure, creating a halo effect around his body. he’s perfect in your eyes; his black hair falls beautifully around his face, and his cheeks are naturally flushed pink from the warm air of your shared apartment. his lips are glossy with some syrup residue and you wish for nothing more than to kiss it off of him, tasting the sweetness of his mouth as your hands find their way to his—
“—ift today, so i have to go in. i’m really sorry, y/n.”
you blink, tilting your head a bit as you rip your attention from his lips. “sorry, what did you say?”
yeonjun sighs with a small, apologetic smile, bouncing his fork in his hands. “there was no one who could cover my shift for our friendiversary, so i still have to work today.”
his voice is filled with so much guilt, and despite the deep disappointment you feel in your chest, you don’t want to make him feel any worse. he doesn’t deserve to feel that way. you guys have celebrated your friendiversary every single year for the past decade and a half. from visiting the aquarium in sixth grade, to go-karting in ninth, to climbing onto the rooftop of your apartment complex to stargaze last year; you guys have done it all. there’s nothing wrong with cutting one short, right?
“oh, that’s okay! i… i still have some cramming i need to do, so that’ll definitely keep me busy.” you wave your hand to dismiss him with a small smile before quickly spooning another strawberry into your mouth to cover up the falter of your lips. yeonjun’s shoulders untense with relief, nudging your foot under the table—the action is quick to summon butterflies in your stomach, a small warmth rising to your face from the short contact. 
“i promise i’ll make it up to you, okay?” and any hint of dismay in your body dissipates with the lopsided smile he sends your way, too distracted by the fluttery stuttering of your heart and the way those eyes glimmer in the morning sunlight.
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“i’m going to die.”
“you’re not going to die.”
“yes, i am. i’m going to die and it’ll be all your fault.”
taehyun deadpans you as you dramatically drape yourself across the library table, whining with your cheek pressed against the cool wood. today was supposed to be your friendiversary, and now here you are, face to face with your friend (and calculus tutor) in your stuffy campus library.
you mentally curse the current recession—yeonjun could’ve had the day off to cuddle and watch movies with you, but now he’s holed up in a dumb, understaffed clothing store. 
on top of it all, calculus seems to always have the ability to literally melt your brain through your ears, feeling yourself growing more and more delirious with every number and formula you write down. there’s a reason why you’re an english major.
taehyun simply watches you throw your contained fit, his demeanor blank with the slightest hint of amusement—he’s definitely used to it by now. with one final huff, you lift your head up, grabbing your pencil with vigor as you straighten your back.
“okay, let’s do this.”
a tiny puff of laughter fills the space around you as taehyun’s lips quirk up at your immediate change of pace, his eyebrows raised with entertainment.
“you sure you don’t need another minute?” he teases you with a sly smile and you give him a tiny glare in return.
“not everyone is a mathematical nerd like you, kang,” you retort, but the words are light and airy—it’s easy to banter with taehyun. you’ve known him since your freshman year, meeting him by chance at this exact library during exam season. you approached him first—he had on a t-shirt of a band you like a little too much and with your extroverted nature, you cracked through his shell quickly. 
you two would be complete opposites if it weren’t for the fact that you have so much in common with each other. he’s like the less talkative, “critically thinking”’version of you—he balances you out perfectly and you’re incredibly thankful to have a friend like him. he’s always open to listen to your rambling, help you out when you’re struggling in one of your classes, and provide silent company when you don’t want to be alone. 
you’re especially grateful that he willingly offered to help you prepare for your upcoming exams, knowing how scatterbrained you get when it comes to studying—and by the time it hits 5 p.m, you’re officially burnt out, unable to intake any more explanations of radians and whatnot. 
taehyun notices your attention drifting as you chew on the end of your pen, a tiny and fond smile falling onto his face. 
“how about we call it a day?” taehyun asks as he closes his textbook. you immediately brighten up, nodding aggressively—taehyun quietly laughs at your enthusiasm.
“wanna get something to eat? i think i’m actually going to die after all of this now.” you motion to the mess of paper and notes in front of you, hearing taehyun hum in agreement. you pack up quickly as you randomly stuff your papers into their proper (see: random) folders, ready to get some food in your stomach as you tell taehyun about this new show you’ve started watching. he listens intently, nodding along to your breakdown of the plot—you speak way too fast for anything to be even the slightest bit comprehensible, but your eagerness makes up for any lost translations.
the air is warm on your skin when you exit the library, soaking up the heat as you fall into step with taehyun next to you. as brutal as finals season is on you, it does leave one positive in your mind—summer is coming. 
you had planned a trip with yeonjun to your hometown for the first few weeks of summer—just the two of you with no distractions of work and assignments. alone. together. you were going to confess during this trip; you had promised yourself that you wouldn’t chicken out this time. you have liked yeonjun for years, ever since middle school, but you’ve been too afraid of losing him to actually tell him the truth about your feelings—but this is it. this will be the summer you tell him everything. you beam at the thought, already feeling giddy at just the idea. 
“watcha thinking about?” 
taehyun’s inquisitive voice enters your ears and you turn your head to look over at him. he’s already watching you, his big eyes focused on the goofy smile on your face. your neck heats up with embarrassment at the prospect of being caught daydreaming about your best friend, shaking your head.
“nothing, really. i just love when the sun’s out,” you speak, looking up to the clear sky as you silently applaud yourself for that on-the-spot excuse. you can still feel taehyun’s eyes on your face, but you brush it off as your phone rings in your hand. 
you look down at the caller i.d., your heart jumping at the giant display of letters that spell out “junnie bug”. his contact photo takes up your entire screen and you’re sure taehyun sees it as well—it’s a selfie yeonjun took when he used one of your hello kitty headbands to wash his face, his lips puckered up in a kissy face with a v by his eyes, winking at the camera. god, he’s so cute. 
quick to answer the phone, you press the device to your ear with a small smile on your lips, muttering out a quiet hello.
“hey, where are you right now?”
you scan the area, realizing you’re closing in on one of the campus restaurants, one you and yeonjun frequent weekly. 
“i’m about to grab dinner. why?” the line is quiet for a beat as you hear some shuffling and jingling before yeonjun finally responds.
“i got off early! come eat with me. i brought your favorite~” yeonjun sing-songs through the speaker of your phone. you pout a bit, glancing up at taehyun whose hands are shoved in his pocket as he looks off into the distance, giving you privacy to speak.
“i’m actually with taehyun right now…”
yeonjun makes a small, whiny sound, quick to intervene. “but it’s our friendiversary! plus, i have something i’ve been waiting to tell you.”
your heart stops in your chest for a moment as the words reach your ears, feeling the world around you slow down.
yeonjun has something to tell you.
he has something he's been waiting to tell you.
you try not to overthink it, but you can’t stop the conclusion from jumping into your head.
he’s going to confess. he’s going to confess!
you bite back a small squeal as you gain your composure, your eyes flickering over to taehyun once again. he’s a few steps behind you and you already feel bad for what you’re about to do—but yeonjun has something to tell you and your best friend always comes first.
(especially when he’s going to confess to you!)
“okay, i’ll be there soon! love you, junnie.”
“love you too. see you in a bit.”
and then the line goes silent. you try to hide your wide grin as you turn on your heel towards taehyun who stops in his tracks, his head cocking to the side at your excited demeanor. 
“hey, can we make a reign check? i’m really sorry,” you pout as you speak, but taehyun doesn’t seem fazed in the slightest, nodding his head.
“yea, that’s okay. seems like you have somewhere important to be.” the small smile he gives you seems a little forced, but you’re too blinded by the excitement pooling in your gut to linger on it. you make a small happy noise, reaching out to pat taehyun’s arm softly.
“i’ll pay for dinner next time—pinky promise.” you hold out your pinky and taehyun’s eyes follow your hand, smiling a bit at the action.
“what, are we twelve?” he teases and you huff, gently jabbing your pinky into his arm. 
“pinky promises are the ultimate form of trust and commitment!” you declare with a self-assured nod. taehyun hesitates for a moment as he gives you an unreadable look before his warm pinky hooks onto yours, your thumbs pressing together in a silent seal. 
“thank you, kind sir,” you say in a horrible british accent and the corners of taehyun’s eyes crinkle in that darling way they do when he smiles. “i’ll see you tomorrow. bye, bye!”
if taehyun watches your figure retreat until you’ve disappeared around the corner of the communications building, and a short while after you’re already gone—well, that’s for only him to know.
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you’re nervous, you realize as you wipe your sweaty palms on your skirt, taking in a deep breath as you stand outside of your apartment. one would think you’d be prepared for this, considering how many sleepless nights you’ve tossed and turned imagining this exact moment. the exact moment when yeonjun tells you, to your face, that he has been in love with you for years—and you would confirm that you feel the same way, and all would be well and dandy and you’d finally be able to breathe.
but your breath gets caught in your lungs the moment you see yeonjun sitting on the couch with a movie paused on the screen, all of your favored dishes from your favorite takeout place laid out in an array on the glass coffee table in the middle of the living room. time moves in slow motion when his head turns towards you as you walk through the front door, those butterflies making their way back to your belly the moment his eyes lock onto yours.
he’s always so gorgeous—even after being on his feet for hours due to his long shift, he still manages to look positively effortless. his plush lips are slightly parted in a wide smile as he beckons you over, his hair bouncing on his forehead at the movement. he’s shining, the sunset casting a wonderful glow over the living room, making his pristine skin look even more angelic than it usually does.
you’re in love. you’re absolutely, absolutely enamored with the man in front of you. 
it’s like a scene in a movie as you take a seat on the couch next to him, his arm coming to rest over your shoulders, pulling you into a tight side hug and… oh goodness, he smells so amazing. he’s had the same signature scent for years—a sweet grapefruit with hints of cedar and black currant. intoxicating, alluring. you subtly inhale as you bury your face in his shoulder, letting yourself bask in his warmth. his comfort.
you feel his body rumble with quiet laughter at the way you cling to him, his free hand coming up to pinch your cheek fondly. 
“hello to you too,” he speaks and you pop your head up to smile at him.
“i missed you. i think i lost half of my sanity after that study session,” you mumble as you pull your knees up to your chest, pressing yourself closer to yeonjun’s side.
“wasn’t taehyun there to help, though?” yeonjun questions as he massages the back of your neck. you hum in response, your eyes slipping shut as your body relaxes.
“he’s the only reason i didn’t actually go insane,” you groan and yeonjun laughs a bit at your theatrics. “but enough of that. it’s friendiversary time!”
you try to ignore the anticipation bubbling in your chest as the night goes on. yeonjun seems to have pushed the “something” he’s been “waiting” to tell you to the back burner of his mind, laughing and joking around as per usual as some corny 2000s chick flick plays on the t.v. screen. you’re painfully aware though, your eyes glancing over at him during every bout of prolonged silence, trying to egg him on with subtle words—and by the time the movie finally ends, you think he’s forgotten completely.
but then he turns his body towards you, and if you weren’t already hyperfocused on his entire presence, you would’ve missed the way he takes a subtle deep breath, silently preparing himself for whatever he’s about to tell you. naturally, your body faces him as well, your hands in your lap as you dismiss the rapid pounding of your heart in your chest. 
it’s finally happening.
yeonjun cracks a small smile to break the growing tension in the room and you swoon at the way his cheeks bunch up in that adorable way they do.
“soooo,” he starts and you can’t help but to smile a bit at his unusually awkward demeanor—choi yeonjun, you’re choi yeonjun, is actually nervous right now. something about it makes you feel a little fluttery; just the sight of his face reddening makes your stomach flip. he’s so cute.
“soooo…?” you echo, nudging his knee with yours. he chuckles a bit, one of his hands coming up to rub the back of his neck.
“remember how i said there’s something i’ve been waiting to tell you?” he speaks slowly as if he’s thinking of every word he says before they exit his mouth. you nod, trying to hide your growing grin. “so, um…”
this is it. this is it. your days of pining are finally over. you’ll be able to kiss, hug, and love yeonjun all you want, as loudly as you want. you’ll finally be his.
“i think i’m going to throw up from the suspense,” you blurt out and your words help to lighten the mood, yeonjun laughing again as his hand drops back down to his lap. 
“i guess i’ll just say it then,” he inhales once before his next sentence tumbles off of his lips like an avalanche, destroying your world with every passing millisecond. you’re dunked underwater as your breath hitches in your throat, your hearing muffled as you watch yeonjun’s lips move, but none of it reaches your ears.
you can’t think. you don’t want to think. it’s all too sudden and you feel your hands tremble slightly in your lap as yeonjun’s eyes fill with adoration as he talks about the girl from his fashion department. 
“we’re official. me and eunbin… we’re dating.”
he’s so happy as he lulls on about the exact moment everything happened; the way her eyes lit up, the way she jumped into his arms, the way she kissed him on the lips. how she’s so smart and mature. how she’s beautiful and confident and charming in every way. how she’s exactly what he needs at this point in his life. 
how she isn’t you.
you have always kind of been aware of the fact that the girl had a crush on yeonjun. she’d always be by his side walking through campus, hanging off his arm like a koala, overly affectionate with skinship. but yeonjun was friendly too, and he’s touchy with all of his friends—it’s his love language. you’ve never thought too much of it seeing as yeonjun always returns home to you. cuddling you at night when you can’t sleep. cooking you breakfast and dinner almost every day. matching outfits with you. staying up late to talk with you. 
you were just too stupid—too naive… too blinded by your own infatuation with the man to realize that his eyes weren’t set on you this entire time. you were just his comfort. his roommate. his best friend. and nothing more.
you aren’t sure if you’re still present in your body—it feels as if you’re watching the entire scene from afar, somewhere high up in the clouds. away from yeonjun. away from yourself. 
you want to cry, already feeling a lump form in your throat as your waterline burns with tears, but yeonjun’s smile is the widest you’ve seen it be in a while, and those eyes… those same eyes you’ve found yourself getting lost in one too many times… they’re so big and bright tonight as he rambles on about this girl. this girl who is everything you’re not. 
it feels as if your heart shrivels up and falls into your stomach right then, fighting to make a smile form on your trembling lips. you want to be joyful for your best friend—you really do—but it just hurts so, so much and you’re about to break at any second.
“i’m so happy for you, junnie,” you mumble out quietly, positive that if you speak any louder, your voice will crack and give it all away. yeonjun directs that endearing smile your way and you feel your heart break even more.
“thank you, y/n. you’re… you’re the first person i’ve told so i was a little nervous. thank you, really.” yeonjun lets out a sigh of relief as he pulls you into a hug. it should’ve been warm and cherished, filling you with nothing but precious feelings—but you can’t help that ice-cold feeling that washes over you as you inhale his citrusy cologne, patting his back with a shaky hand. when he pulls away, he has this little dazed smile on his face—he’s definitely thinking about her—and your gut churns with the ickiest feeling you’ve ever felt. 
“you know it’s hard for me to open up to people,” he continues, and you aren’t sure how much longer you can sit here while holding in your tears. “but with her, it’s just like… it’s so natural and easy. she reminds me of you, actually. she always understands me in the way that you do.”
no, she doesn’t. 
“i’m glad,” you mutter out and he doesn’t even process your short response, too busy lost in thought as he smiles down at his lap. 
you can’t. you can’t. 
“‘m gonna go to the bathroom,” you speak, standing before he even acknowledges your words. your tears are already falling down your cheeks as soon as you turn your back to him, your legs moving quicker than the speed of light as you shut the bathroom door behind you, letting it all rush out. 
you muffle your quick breathing with the sleeve of your sweater so yeonjun can’t hear—you don’t want to ruin this moment for him. he’s still your best friend, and he deserves all of the happiness in the world. but you’re selfish and your heart hurts a little too much; all of those years of pining and chasing… 
this truly sucks.
you don’t know how long you sit in there, but it must’ve been long enough for yeonjun to become worried seeing as a knock soon sounds from the door.
“y/n, you okay?”
you quickly pat your cheeks dry with your palm, nodding your head before remembering he can’t see you from the other side of the wall.
“yeah, ‘m just getting ready for bed!” you call out, cringing slightly at your hoarse voice. hearing an affirmative hum from yeonjun in the hallway, you turn on the sink to wash the tear tracks from your face. 
now this is definitely a friendiversary to remember.
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taehyun has always had a knack for being incredibly perceptive—you like to call it his “kitty senses”, the way his nose twitches cutely when he spots something in the distance, or the way he perks up when he hears something interesting. he always seems to be aware of the space and those around him, noticing the little things, and paying close attention to detail. maybe that’s the reason why he blinks so little; he’s always keeping an eye out for the minuscule things people usually overlook.
so when your laugh isn’t quite as full as it usually is, and your smile doesn’t fully reach your eyes, and your fingers keep fidgeting with the zipper of your jacket—taehyun knows something is up.
it’s not like you’re not trying to hide it. you had made sure to put on extra concealer that morning to hide your sleepy eyes from your lack of sleep, which is useless because already sure you’ll be crying it off by the end of the day. you try to joke around with taehyun as usual, but you can’t seem to stop your mind from drifting. 
it hurts—it hurts so bad, and as much as you wish to just accept reality and move on, some part of you still wants to believe that this is all a dream. some horrible, horrible joke the universe decided to play on you. you just want it to all be over.
taehyun’s over at your place today. yeonjun has work until 6 and you really don’t think you can bring yourself to leave the dark, brooding coven that has become your bedroom, so you came up with a flimsy excuse of the library being too hot to study in today.
“let’s take a break,” taehyun’s voice sounds from your desk, successfully making you look up from where you’re laid stomach down on your bed. in all honesty, you’ve been repeatedly reading the same sentence for the past ten minutes, drawing the conclusion that you’re definitely not going to get anything done today. 
you sigh with a small nod, moving to sit crisscross as you shut your laptop, feeling your shoulders slump. taehyun’s watching you—you can feel his eyes follow your movement as you move your laptop to your bedside table, your lips adorning a permanent frown. 
you don’t even bother to check your phone as you flop backward onto your bed; it’s not yeonjun’s fault that you feel this way—you know that. he’s not responsible for the way your stomach swoops when he smiles, or the way your skin tingles when his hand lingers on your face for a little too long. it’s your fault for jumping to conclusions, for seeing everything through rose-tinted glasses.
it’s your fault for falling for him so hard. 
and here comes that feeling again; that lump in your throat, the churning of your insides, the sting behind your eyes. too caught up in your own thoughts, you don’t process the dip in your bed as taehyun takes a seat next to you.
“are you alright?”
his voice is oh so soft as you turn your head to look at him—those big eyes scan over your body as he tries to read what’s wrong, seeing his kitty senses working a thousand miles a second. you catch the way his fingers twitch as if he wants to touch you, but his body is stiff with uncertainty.
you almost want to cry simply at the way he so obviously cares, his brows knit together, eyes searching yours for an answer you aren’t giving him. he’s lovely, you render, as you scoot over to give him some space to slip in next to you as you curl up to his side. it’s nothing new; you’re used to sharing a bed with taehyun to get in quick power naps during cramming, or to scroll through your phones in silence, just enjoying each other’s company. 
but something feels different this time as he wraps his arm around you, his fingers tickling your arm. your head rests on his shoulder while your index finger draws random patterns on his chest, his black t-shirt bunching and scrunching up with the movement. it’s quiet as he strokes your arm, the pads of his fingers making goosebumps rise to your sensitive skin. you don’t realize how bad you need this—the warmth of his body is so nice and you can already feel your walls coming down as you sniffle, a few tears escaping your eyes.
“‘m gonna get your shirt all wet,” you mumble, and taehyun just laughs a bit, resting his head on top of yours.
“i don’t mind,” he replies quietly and you immediately break, the dam collapsing as your tears soak into his shirt, accepting all of the untamed emotions running wild inside of your body. taehyun holds you silently and gently, his thumb brushing over your skin in an attempt at solace. 
heartbreak is a weird, weird thing. it feels like you’re yearning for something that you know you’ll never have. craving the touch of someone you’ll never be able to hug and kiss and love in the way you want to. you don’t believe you’ve ever felt anything like this before.
so you let yourself cry, and cry, and cry as taehyun nuzzles his cheek into your hair—a silent reminder that he’s still right here next to you.
he doesn’t ask any questions, and in a way, you’re thankful for that. what would you even say? your bestfriend broke your heart even though you guys were never together in the first place? it sounds ridiculous in any way you can think of wording it, so you bask in the silence as you let everything out.
by the time your tears slow down, your fingers are clenching the front of taehyun’s shirt like a lifeline… and he lets you hold onto him for as long as you need. you don’t know what you have ever done to deserve a friend like him. always ready to catch you when you fall, giving reassurance when you need it, and always prepared to lend a helping hand. 
you find yourself lifting your head to find taehyun’s eyes already on you, his hand slipping from your arm to your waist at your movement. his eyes are clouded with apprehension, and you’re sure you look an absolute mess right now with your swollen eyes and tear-stained skin. but there is something left unsaid in the air as your eyes trail down to his pink lips; his hand grips your waist a little tighter, his big eyes flickering quickly between yours.
his eyes are different than yeonjun’s—while yeonjun’s are filled with memories of home and familiarity, taehyun’s are present and swirling with unadulterated want. he wants to be here with you. 
everything is muted save for your air conditioning, the quiet hum from the fan of taehyun’s laptop sitting on your desk, and the pounding of your heartbeat in your ears.
you shouldn’t do it. you know this is a bad, bad, bad idea. you’re still not over yeonjun—you’re not ready to move on yet. but that feeling of heartbreak and pure longing wraps around your brain and you just need something, someone to make it all pause. the feeling of taehyun’s hand on your waist is grounding as his thumb brushes over your your clothed skin, his dark brown irises still fixated on you, waiting. and waiting. and waiting.
your lips are on his before you can give anything another thought. 
he kisses you as delicately as he holds you, giving you the lead, and allowing you to take whatever you want from him. his lips are incredibly soft—you taste his vanilla and peppermint chapstick on your tongue, getting lost in the slightly tingly sensation. your mind is hazy as your hand trails up from his chest to the side of his neck, feeling his pulse under the pads of your fingers, pressing closer to him to deepen the kiss.
his tongue swipes across your bottom lip in silent permission and you gladly give in, parting your lips for him. a quiet moan slips out as his free hand tugs your thigh over his waist, moving you to straddle him. his body is firm and sturdy underneath you, your hands falling to his shoulders as you steady yourself.
it should end here… it really should—but then taehyun tilts his head and takes your bottom lip in between his teeth and his hands are so heavy and pleasant on your waist and you’re reminded of citrus and home and…
he pulls away slowly, his chest rising and falling quickly as he stares up at your figure.
“y/n…”
his breathy voice quickly makes you come to your senses.
guilt overrides your body as you realize—you just took advantage of your friend’s kindness and company, all because of your own stupid feelings. a grave emotion washes over you as you shake your head, quickly moving off of his body as taehyun sits up.
because only then does it dawn on you that you were pretending taehyun’s lips were yeonjun’s.
“hey, hey, it’s okay—”
“no, i can’t—fuck, i’m so sorry, taehyun,” you spill out as you climb off of him, creating distance between the two of you, unable to meet his hurt eyes. you don’t want to cry again, but the stinging behind your eyes comes back in full force. the shame is too much; taehyun is so kind and you just—you used him for temporary validation. “you should… you should go.”
taehyun is silent and you see him nod in the peripheral of your vision, lingering for a second before he slips off of your bed. he’s quiet and quick as he collects his things, and your eyes only watch his figure once his back is turned toward you. you try to pretend you don’t notice the weighted gaze he gives you before leaving. 
it’ll give you one less thing to cry about tonight.
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you need another drink.
the slight buzz in your body is not enough to blur out the sight in front of you as you lean against the wall holding a plastic cup tightly in your hand. you’ve never really had a problem with pda—if couples want to show their admiration for each other in public, then so be it. it isn’t any of your business, truly.
but now, your stomach seems to lurch as you watch eunbin kiss up yeonjun’s neck, sitting prettily in his lap on the living room couch as yeonjun smiles that perfect smile at something she whispers in his ear. theoretically, you can simply look away, or walk away, even—but your feet stay planted where they are as your hands shake slightly. 
you aren’t sure how long heartbreak is supposed to linger, or how long it should take before you stop thinking about how that could’ve been you… should’ve been you. jealousy is one hell of an emotion, and you try your absolute best to keep it at bay; yeonjun owes you nothing, but the spite eats away at you as you bring your nearly empty drink back up to your lips. 
a body shuffles up next to you, but you don’t pay them any mind, your ears ringing with the pulse of the music reverberating through the walls. you’re definitely not drunk enough to enjoy the atmosphere, too hyperfocused on the way yeonjun’s head tips back in a hearty laugh as eunbin swats at his chest playfully. 
“you look like you need some air.”
your head whips to the side at the words, coming face-to-face with taehyun, his eyes holding a type of intensity you’ve never seen before. a dejected laugh leaves your lips as you tilt your head back, nodding slightly in response. 
“yeah, i probably do.”
taehyun’s hand is slipping into yours before you can even process his grip, tugging you towards the front door of the house. there aren’t too many people in the front yard—just a small group passing a blunt on the porch, someone in an intense argument on the phone, and a few people loitering by their cars. 
you follow taehyun to the steps of the porch, taking a seat on the cement. it’s dark out, but the air is still slightly humid, making your skin feel sticky and warm. taehyun’s hand is still in yours as you scoot closer to him to allow some people to walk up the other half of the steps, your thigh pressing against his. 
he’s silent as he looks ahead, and you can feel tension filling in the space around you both. it’s been a couple of weeks since you two have spoken—you’ve felt too guilty to face him after that kiss, but now you find yourself looking over at his figure. maybe the alcohol is working better than you thought.
his brows are slightly furrowed, one of his legs bouncing up and down incessantly. the low glow of the porch light illuminates him in a way that makes it impossible to look away, your eyes trailing from his cat-like eyes, to the slope of his nose, to his soft lips. 
his soft lips.
you rip your eyes away from them. you aren’t going to make the same mistake twice.
“y/n, did i do something wrong?” taehyun questions quietly, his eyes finally landing on your face. there’s something cloudy and uncertain behind them, something that you can’t quite put a name to.
“no, taehyun, you didn’t—it’s not your fault. i’m just…” you sigh, your gaze focusing on the way his thumb brushes over the back of your hand. “there’s a lot on my mind right now.”
taehyun nods slowly, turning his head away from you again. 
“is there anything i can do to help?”
he doesn’t mention the kiss. he doesn’t mention the way you’ve practically been avoiding his existence. 
you don’t know if it’s your tipsy state, or if it’s the way his body heat radiates onto you or the way his eyes flicker back up to yours when you’re quiet for a second—but then you catch the way they travel down to your lips and you’re in the backseat of his car in the blink of an eye.
it’s warm, too warm, as you straddle his lap, your hands tangled into his hair as he kisses down your neck, hands on your hips to steady you. you don’t want to think anymore—you don’t want to hang onto something you’ll never have.
so you let taehyun distract you at this moment.
“you can use me however you’d like,” he breathes out heavily as your hands come to rest on his chest. “use me to get over him.”
your body stiffens as the words slip out of his mouth, meeting his eyes in the darkness of the car. 
“how… how did you…?” your voice is breathless as you trail off, the corners of his lips quirking up into a sad smile.
“i’ve always noticed the way you look at him, y/n.”
your eyes are unfocused in the low light as you gaze at taehyun’s state, his pupils blown wide in the darkness of the car, only a side of his face lit up golden from the street lights outside. his lips are bright pink and bitten raw, his fading pink hair messy and falling onto his forehead in fluffy waves. he’s always been gorgeous, a fact you could never deny, but in this moment, he looks absolutely unreal.
sudden guilt fills your chest at the thought, shaking your head quickly.
“i can’t do that to you, taehyun,” you replied weakly. he’s shaking his head now, his big hand coming up to cup your cheek, thumb brushing your soft skin delicately.
“i want you to. i hate seeing you like this,” his hand drops down to cover one of yours, feeling his chest rise and fall under your palm. “i’ll do anything you want me to, y/n. you just have to say the words.”
his voice is low and faint, gazing at you with his pretty brown eyes. they flicker in between yours, trying to read the emotions on your face in the limited light. you nibble on your lip as you feel his rapid heartbeat through his shirt, your mind scattered and dizzy.
“please. let me help you.”
a hot flash courses through your body at the pure desperation in his voice—and something in you snaps at that exact moment, your lips crashing onto his vanilla and peppermint ones. the kiss is messy and feverish as your hands run up and down his torso, teeth clashing with the vehemence of it all. you feel his hands drop to your hips, holding you down onto him as his tongue explores your mouth, running across your teeth, swiping across your lips. he tastes like cheap liquor, and you’re sure you do too, but it doesn’t matter at this moment.
you press down on him, your hands running over his toned stomach, up to his pecs, over his shoulders; anything you can reach. you shut your mind off, not letting yourself focus on anything other than taehyun taehyun taehyun taehyun.
he’s moving you, you realize as your back presses against the cool leather of his back seat. he doesn’t break the kiss once as he hovers over you, hiking your skirt up to run his hand up your leg, running his nails over the sensitive skin of your thigh. you allow your legs to fall open so he can comfortably slot himself in between them, feeling his bulge press against your pulsing core just right. 
a faint gasp leaves your lips as he grinds against your clothed cunt, already feeling yourself leaking through the thin fabric. one of your legs wraps around him to pull him even closer to you, drowning out all of your senses with the scent of his cologne, his hair tickling your cheek as he kisses down your neck. his hand leaves your thigh to slip under your top before his fingers dance over your stomach, brushing over your bra—admiring every inch of you as you arch up into his touch.
“tell me what you want, baby,” he pants against your neck, nipping the flesh there. you stifle a moan as his fingers brush over the wet spot on your panties. “come on, use your words.”
“i want… fuck—i want your fingers in me.” 
he’s quick to obey, pushing your panties to the side to rub his middle finger up and down your dripping slit, a low groan leaving his lips as your hand finds its way to his hair, tugging at the pink strands to hurry him up.
you moan softly as he slips his first finger in, curling it upwards as he pumps in and out of your clenching hole. the car is filled with the sounds of your soaked cunt, his heavy pants, and your moans as he finger fucks you, slipping in another two easily with how wet you are. his fingers are incredibly long and slender, reaching parts of you that you’ve never been able to hit by yourself. 
when his lips find yours again, it’s much slower, his fingers matching the restrained pace as he kisses you deeply, devouring all of your little noises. your hips buck up as his thumb rubs circles onto your swollen clit, your fingers tightening in his hair.
he seems to be in no rush as he takes you apart slowly, hitting that spot inside of you perfectly as you leak onto his seat, body shaking with pleasure. there’s a small smile resting on his lips when he pulls back to peer down at you, taking in the way your lips part and your brows furrow as he speeds up, pressing down on your clit just right.
you can’t control the noises leaving your lips as you grind onto his hand, chasing your high as he pumps into you. his actions don’t slow down when he moves up to capture your lips again, curling his fingers inside of you as his thumb rubs your clit. you grab his biceps, needing something to ground you as you feel your impending orgasm rushing upon you. 
“taehyun—fuck, ‘m cumming…”
he swallows all of your moans as you tip over the edge, your back arching up into his hold as white fills your vision. you can hear the gentle praise leaving his lips through the ringing of your ears, your body left feeling fuzzy and warm as his fingers slow before gradually pulling out of your sensitive hole. 
“so good for me,” he mutters against your lips, his own traveling down your jaw. you feel dizzy as you catch your breath, leaning into his touch.
“i need you,” you mumble as he lifts his head to catch your gaze. he looks completely enamored, his big eyes glossy, reflecting the light from the street lamps outside.  “i need you in me. fuck me, taehyun.”
 he smiles before sitting back to undo his pants. “anything you want, baby.”
it’s all a blur as he’s back on top of you again, his length hard and throbbing against his stomach as he captures your lips again. his hands roam every piece of your skin he can touch, sucking marks onto your collarbone. claiming you.
you reach down to grab his heavy dick in your hand, stroking him a few times. he sighs lowly in your ear, whispering praise and encouragement that just turns you on even more. it’s hard to be patient when taehyun is bucking up into your hand, your mind clouding up by his hot tongue trailing over your skin. he seems to sense your urgency, placing one last kiss on your lips before lining up with your entrance.
“i’ve got you,” he whispers as if his voice was only made for you to hear. you nod quickly, wrapping your arms around his neck as he presses his forehead against yours. the heat radiating from his body manages to make your clothed, scorching skin even warmer, moaning out softly once you feel him push into you. his eyes flutter shut as you clench around him. “fuck—you feel so good.”
you bite your lip to keep quiet as he slowly thrusts into you, wrapping your other leg around his waist as if it would bring you impossibly closer to him. your fingers tangle gently in his hair, tugging slightly in a way that drives him absolutely crazy.
soft grunts leave his lips once he speeds up, the sound of skin on skin drowning out the muffled music in the distance. your eyes are half-lidded as you strain to keep them open, wanting to watch the way his jaw clenches and his brows furrow. it’s all too much as you take in the fluttery tickles of his lips on your cheek and jaw, the way he stretches you out with his thick cock, the way his hands tightly grip onto your waist as if you could disappear at any moment. 
every thrust into your heat makes your stomach flip with pleasure, getting lost in the feeling of his hips snapping against yours perfectly. he kisses you once more before he leans back, hands slipping down your hips to fuck you even harder, the car rocking with his strokes. you can’t control your sounds anymore, getting closer and closer to the edge with every move. you can tell he’s getting close too by the way his rhythm falters — his grip on you is tight, and you know there would be marks to cover up by the morning. 
“‘m so close,” you squeak out as he intertwines one of your hands, his other forearm resting by your head to lean down to kiss your lips again. 
“me too, baby,” he speaks against your lips, his hips stuttering. “you’re so perfect, y/n, fuck.”
you can already feel your high crashing upon you with one last stroke, your own whimpers falling deaf to your ears as his words tip you over the edge. your body buzzes with electricity as you clench around him, feeling him pump his thick ropes of cum into you at the action, his moans high and breathy in your ear as you cum together.
it takes you a second to come back to your surroundings, blinking your eyes open to see taehyun watching you, silently stroking your hair. he’s still nestled inside of you, but you don’t really mind. he leans down to capture your lips again—it’s passionate and unrushed as he tries to convey every single emotion he’s feeling, his hands coming up to cradle your face. 
you can’t think of anything other than the way your heart flutters as he breaks the kiss to rest his forehead against yours, his breathing still uneven as his eyes open to gaze into yours. 
“thank you,” you whisper, your stomach swooping as he smiles, that dimple on his right cheek peeking out in the darkness.
“don’t thank me,” and his voice is dripping with so much sincerity, you find yourself unable to look away from his eyes, your hand coming up to rest on top of his. with a small giggle, you glance down at your intertwined bodies.
“i think we should clean up,” you speak light-heartedly as your nose brushes taehyun’s, and he lets out a small puff of laughter, nodding in agreement.
you don’t know what any of this means anymore—how your heart flutters at the way taehyun gently cleans you up before pulling you back in his lap to kiss you silly, how he drives you home, walking you up to your door with your fingers interlaced with his. how you linger for a moment, not wanting to leave his side so soon even though you can barely keep your eyes open long enough to unlock the front door.
but all you know is that yeonjun doesn’t cross your mind again for the rest of the night.
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reblogs are very much appreciated!
masterlist
©️BEOM-PYU
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chaosandmarigolds · 14 days
Text
Dearest...
(Fem!reader, weapon’s dealer daughter, and yeah this is also just sadness. Sorry y’all)
He didn’t account for the emotional factors of living a lie, sure he had thought of them, but very briefly at that- barely a second thought, more of a passing notion rather than a pure line. At least it had be a passing mist, then as the days grew into nights and the nights began to liner into mornings, he found himself to be thinking of it every waking moment. Every time he looked over to you his mind flashed with how heartbroken you would be, he dreaded the very moment he was now living in.
“It’s two in the morning,” You mumble, hand finding the switch on the wall to turn the light on, hair messily in its braid and eyes riddled with sleep. After all, you had just thought your boyfriend of close to six months just woke up (not uncommon) so you chose to join him. Yet when you turn on the light you find him, in what seemed to be full gear, minus a mask that he held in his hand and in the other he held a few folders. So, unsure of what to do you laugh eyes going between the folders and his eyes, “Goodness, it’s June, I don’t think it’s the right time for…um...for costumes.”
The silence was suffocating.
The folders held all of your father’s contacts, and you knew this, after all, he had trusted Simon to keep them safe while he was aware of work. It made sense, your father was a weapons dealer with a longer rap sheet than any convict, and Simon had worked his way into your father and his business. he was strong, he was kind and he treated you with love and respect, he was a trustworthy man…or…you had thought. In that moment you slowly put the pieces together.
“Can…” Your words die on your tongue and you take a shaky step forward, reaching for it, “Can I have that, please? Please?”
As you move forward he moves back, moving the folder behind his back, his expression unreadable. He hadn’t thought of his own emotions getting caught into this, he accounted for the millionth of a chance he wouldn’t want to leave, that he would want to leave you unscathed, loved, and coated in the warmth of his love. He hadn’t thought tears would worm their way into his eyes as he spoke, “Let me go.”
To his words, you take a shuttered breath and look up to meet his gaze, voice shaky, “Then give it back, th-those are important.”
“I can’t do that.”
”I’ll call Ivon.”
A short pause, squeezing his mask a bit tighter as if it would hide the blood with the black, “He can’t help.”
A short sob rips through your throat and you shake your head, “What is this?”
He couldn’t come with an answer.
“You came for the files,” You were whispering, as if to just allow yourself time to wake up, to fully process the events before you, “Were you just going to leave? In the middle of the night and I don’t even get a GOODBYE? You were going to leave the past six months for nothing? Was-was I-Was I just… No-” You sniffle up the emotions and hold your hand out, as if waiting for him to take it but your eyes go to the folder, “Give it to me, I’ll forget about it-we-we can go back to normal.”
“Please, let’s go back to normal, Simon.” You said again, “Tell me you love me again, I don’t care if it is real or not I just want you to love me, because I love you. Tell me…” As your voice falters he looks away, taking slow steps to the door, and with a crushing wave, your tears begin to fall down your face.
“It was never real. Never meant a word did you?”
He did mean it.
“None of it, huh? You must’ve been so annoyed when I would tell you I loved you.”
He treasured those words more than his own life.
“You didn’t mean it and I fell for it. Oh god…I fell for it….I loved you.” Your words then become a hiss, “I LOVED YOU.”
A million things he wanted to say, a million times he had almost backed out of the mission and prayed he could vanish off the face of the earth. A million times he wished he could hold you once more. A million words but only two could be choked out, “I’m sorry.”
You take a heaving breath, shuttering for air and you tilt your head, “For what?”
“Breaking you.”
You stare at him for a long moment, tears riddling your eyes and you breathe slowly, “You don’t get that honor.”
Apparently, it was a good thing you never told him about the secret alarm you had embedded in your bracelet.
(That's all!! Thanks for any and all comments and feedback you may wanna leave! <33)
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jensettermandu · 6 days
Text
nostalgia - huh yunjin
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genre; light angst, fluff, sfw
pairing; yunjin x female reader
synopsis; purely based on the song Nostalgia by Suki Waterhouse
wc; 5.5k+
masterlist
a/n; i do recommend listening to the song while or before reading, just to hear all of its lyrics because only certain parts are used in the story plus it's such a good song
‘Do you still have the CDs that I burned you?’
Yunjin was aware that there was a limit to everything, even to how much of her life she could fit in her luggage before going back to South Korea to chase her dreams. It was hard to leave; leaving everything behind was what made it the hardest; the fact that she could only bring a small portion of her current life with her.
There was a fear that if she didn’t bring certain things, she would forget about them.
Of course, she was excited, but the tears of joy had also turned to tears that burned and a difficult feeling to swallow as it was thick with emotions. There were so many emotions to feel and it all ended up overwhelming her; missing her comfort.
As she looked through her last few drawers as a way to reminisce and try not to forget the stuff she would leave, in what would be her old room, her fingers stumbled upon something that held a deep past; it felt like a bitter past now when it had been so sweet. 
Yunjin grabbed the three different CD cases, grabbing onto what was left of the love she could have had. With those she picked up the walkman, she forgot to return and now never would get to return.
As she put the first CD into the player, she lay on her bed and stared at the white and empty ceiling. The girl pressed play after putting in the earphones; it burned her skin as she found herself painting out her memories onto the ceiling; reminiscing about a recent past as she listened to the voice.
Yunjin wasn’t the only one with dreams.
“These are just for you and no one else; our favourites and this one is—” Yunjin watched Y/n who trailed off, a CD case in her hand, she had already handed two to Yunjin.
It was a sweet gesture; it was affectionate and intimate and meant the world to Yunjin at the moment. Three CDs Y/n had burned her were better than anything else she could have gotten from anyone, especially Y/n. Somehow, she found herself creating the best memories when she was with her, she felt the most with her and didn’t want anything else.
They had come to the city for two different reasons; Yunjin had given up on her dreams and she fondly watched Y/n chase hers. There was some hope that it would reignite her passion again.
The girl sighed, her accent thick with her old home after coming from London to chase her dream in New York. 
“A few demos, so…” 
Carefully as if it was a flake of gold Yunjin reached for the see-through CD case in her girlfriend’s hold. This would become a core memory in her head; this was special in so many ways, Y/n’s first demos were in her hold. A smile painted itself onto her lips and she knew that she could always start creating and chasing new dreams; Y/n had become her dream.
Yunjin had never been more sure of the words that left her lips next, nothing had ever felt more right. This was something she was sure of, something she was passionate about. “I love you,” she truly did and being young, 18, she hadn’t had the opportunity to fall in love. 
This was beyond an infatuation, this was deeper, this was love and this time those three words meant what they were and she didn’t say them because she thought it was love.
Yunjin said them because she knew it was love.
Y/n let out a small giggle, a fond smile resting on her lips as her eyes gazed over Yunjin’s face as if searching for an answer to her words. There was no need for a long search because the answer was right there.
“I love you, Jen.” 
And in the moonlight that seeped through the windows in Y/n’s studio apartment as they were on the mattress that was on the floor Yunjin and Y/n both got to live through what was real love. 
The CD cases were discarded to the side, listened to during their affectionate pillow talk, and the same happened to Y/n’s shirt as Yunjin pulled it off, letting it fall onto the studio apartment's wooden floor. 
‘The T-shirt you pulled off me, the night you said you loved me?’
Yunjin reached for the t-shirt that was about to fall out of the wardrobe and onto the floor. “Hurry up or we will be late for practice!” She didn’t reply to Chaewon who had run past her to get to the door. 
She looked at the shirt, the print had somewhat washed away, the same way those memories were washing away. It hadn’t been long since she left, but the remnants of an old dream were still lingering. 
‘I love you, Jen.’
How long has she had Y/n’s shirt? Was it from all those years back when Yunjin for the first time said I love you? How did it end up in Seoul? How did a piece of her past end up in Seoul; a piece of Y/n; her old dream? Did she pack it? Did it fall in by accident? Did someone else put it in? It was here though, with Yunjin, a piece of what she had left of Y/n.
It would do her no good, the same way the CDs wouldn’t as they were put away in her drawer in her old room before her flight. Yunjin stuffed the shirt back, far back, hiding it so as to not stumble upon it again. It was time to forget, the same way they had forgiven so easily. The quicker, the better because it wouldn’t ache.
She couldn’t bring all of this with her though, Yunjin couldn’t bring this nostalgia with her, she had to forget about it even if she wished to dwell in it for eternity.
Yunjin was chasing a new dream. 
‘I still have the marks that you made on me
It's easy to forget that you are gone’
New York City would always be busy, everyone lived in a world of their own, Y/n included. She walked forward, but still always found herself stuck in the same place even after what had been months, a year almost.
She would stutter in her actions; all those times she would stare at the barista. The usual order was what she wanted, wasn’t it? The usual. The usual. What was the usual? Despite knowing the usual by heart she found herself staring at the menu above the man for a second. It was like a blackout in her mind.
It wasn’t the usual:
‘Two iced americanos?’ 
That sounded right.
“One iced americano. Extra strong.” 
However, it wasn’t right and she had yet to grow used to it. 
In the same way, it wasn’t right to reach for her phone every time she came up with a new melody or lyrics to send it right to her lover.
The same way that picture of the broken guitar at the studio ended up with the rest of the unsent pictures. 
In the same way, there was no one to expect at home yet she still always wanted to call out her name when she entered, it would be at the tip of her tongue. 
Those moments of doubt that would always disappear when she asked for opinions; opinions that had always mattered the most to her. It was just another empty reach because she realised she didn’t have that anymore. 
That blackout in her head where she couldn’t remember why it wasn’t right never lasted too long as it got filled with the present. Y/n would remember that Yunjin was gone, she was away from her. The spots would fill with a sadness that washed over her, remembering that she lived in a nostalgia of when she and Yunjin were still together.
She kept forgetting that she was just letting herself sleep in nostalgia.
Y/n’s sip of coffee was bitter, she loved it, but the bitterness from a while back wasn’t as pleasant.
‘I talk about the past like I talk about you’
Two passionate lovers is what they were. They loved big and fought for their love even bigger even if it was with the other. It wasn’t often though, it seldom happened, but when it did it was big because of their passion that only grew with the years.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Y/n?”
“Why would I be joking about this, Yunjin!?”
Y/n clenched her jaw, taking in a deep breath as she tried to hold her tears at bay. Yunjin didn’t make her cry, it was just her fears that made her cry, the fears Yunjin always reassured her she didn’t need to have. 
Those promises neither of them would break, yet they found their love so precious and important to them that the smallest littlest sign of possible defect sent the whole perfectly organised heart into a frenzy.
Love wasn’t easy, it came with easy parts, but so many parts weren’t. As there were beautiful parts to it, there was ugly too. 
It was still explosive, their love was, it was great; greater than most could handle, but they fought the strength of it to not let it overwhelm them. It still had those moments where it did manage to do so. 
“I don’t fucking know. You just…”
Y/n smiled, it would always be a blur whenever she was asked questions about the songs she wrote. The only story she could tell her friends was that those songs were made-up telltales most of the time. 
‘I leave out every little thing that I don't like remembering’
“Wait–Okay, no, it’s recording now.”
“You’re such an idiot.” Y/n laughed, trying to push away the camcorder that was being shoved in her face.
“Stop it, you look pretty. I need to get it on video.” Yunjin argued, pushing away Y/n’s hands, but her girl was trying to put up a small fight. 
“Is it truly such a need?”
“Uh-huh. You look pretty 24/7 and I need some of it on video.” It wasn’t hard for her to overpower the smaller girl as Yunjin grabbed hold of Y/n’s wrists with one hand and quickly straddled her girlfriend, having her pinned to the mattress. 
Those giddy giggles continued as they messed around; it was always the same, it was always as comforting as a late-night drive in light rain. It created a sense of peace to the mind, it felt serene and warm even if it was cold outside. 
“I can now declare my love for you on camera,” Yunjin stated as she angled the camera towards them and leaned down. 
The lens watched the two girls who stared at each other; Yunjin’s hand unwrapped around Y/n’s wrists and gently cupped her cheek, with the latter wrapping her arms around her shoulders. It watched as they stared at each other in a momentary silence; it caught the love in their eyes, the fondness, the adoration, the care, the comfort they felt with each other; their starry-eyed romance.
Yunjin smiled with a light chuckle as she spoke, “I Huh ‘Jennifer’ Yunjin love you, Y/n Y/l/n, more than I can express.” 
Y/n mirrored the smile, her eyes twinkling brighter than stars in the sky, “I love you more than I will ever be able to say I do, Huh ‘Jennifer’ Yunjin.” 
The camcorder continued to capture their love as Yunjin dropped it onto the mattress and put her lips against Y/n’s to continue declaring the love they held for each other.
It could have been that she skipped the bad parts, left out everything she would rather not remember Yunjin or their love for as she was missing the idea of the girl.
‘I miss you more than I say I do’
“Do you miss whoever that is?” 
Y/n looked over her shoulder at the guy who gave her a discerning smile; as if he knew the answer to the question. The girl grabbed hold of the journal where she had been scribbling down lyrics and spun around in the chair. 
She looked over the words, it had been three years, and then she looked up at the man. The studio was quite dim, almost a yellow and reddish colour that matched the rugs that were on the floor and hung on the walls together with the other types of soundproofing. 
That person she hadn’t seen for three years; were the songs about her? 
“I don’t, it’s just fiction,” Y/n spoke, knowing that it wasn’t fiction as she still, after three painfully dreadful slow years, strongly longed after the person most of her songs seemed to be about. 
She tried to convince herself otherwise, she tried to convince herself that she was too busy chasing her dreams to even remember who Huh ‘Jennifer’ Yunjin was.
However, it was clear that Yunjin had never even for a second left Y/n’s frame even if she wasn’t in the picture anymore. 
The person who wasn’t there was her only muse. 
‘You had to follow all your dreams, move to New York (Seoul), away from me
You were so easy to forgive, but not so easy to forget’
Yunjin’s heart pounded, she knew that she never needed to be worried or nervous, but it was wrecking her even as Y/n jumped into her arms with a squeal. The cool wind that blew on the roof of Y/n’s apartment building was one she would remember for years; the way it left a chill on her skin all while feeling forlornness and happiness at the same time, that bittersweet taste of her tongue.
It was a taste that wouldn’t wash away. 
Y/n buried her face in the crook of Yunjin’s neck, she felt happy for her girlfriend, but she couldn’t tell if those tears that made it past her eyes were solely tears of joy. No, something was crumbling, breaking into pieces inside Y/n; was that what heartbreak felt like? Was this what true love was? It was painful.
True love was pain.
It just took some time to settle for both of them how painful love was as the other things they faced starry-eyed weren’t close to the damage this was causing them. It was hard to keep the same starry gaze. 
“I’m sorry.” The girl barely managed to let out as her fingers twisted the material of Y/n’s sweater. She truly was sorry for making Y/n believe that she was her only dream, but the second the opportunity showed itself after all this time, that spark of her old dreams ignited. 
Yunjin had spent countless years chasing something she failed to reach and now it was right at the tips of her fingers. She never thought it would happen and she had been ready to move on from it, but it was like fate was presenting itself to her. 
Y/n wanted to hate Yunjin, but she knew that she couldn’t even if the girl was breaking her heart. She loved her too much to keep her. She had moved to New York away from everyone to chase her dreams too, so she understood Yunjin, but she couldn’t lie and say that it wasn’t wrecking her; that it wouldn’t leave her a mess.
She wrapped her arms tighter around the taller girl’s shoulders who pulled her in closer; a goodbye to someone who was still there but wouldn’t be for much longer hurt her. They both hurt. They had been protecting their love, they had devoted themselves to protecting it from even the smallest defects, but they couldn’t protect it from themselves. 
As the promises they made, were the promises they never meant to break
“Don’t feel guilty for doing what’s best for you, Jen, don’t be sorry for chasing your dreams.”
Y/n forgave her for hurting her, but that never meant that she was able to forget her, let alone the pain that Yunjin caused her, the pain they caused each other. If they had known, would they still pursue a love this great? The answer was a simple yes; no matter the pain, their love was worth it until the last second no matter how much it tore them into pieces on that roof.
‘Why can't I keep you right where I want you?
Y/n stared at Yunjin, she had found herself admiring Yunjin at night whenever she couldn’t fall asleep. Then every morning when she woke up, later because she could never fall asleep, she did so to Yunjin fondly caressing her with her gaze, waiting for Y/n to wake up.
She moved the slightest, slowly twisting in Yunjin’s tight and warm hold on her waist. It was hard to imagine that it had been two years since they met and that in a couple of months, Yunjin would get a call that would reignite her dreams and leave them torn to pieces that were miles apart. 
Now on her stomach, an arm still holding onto her waist, Y/n could look better over Yunjin's face; unaware that soon her nights would be spent in an empty bed, crying and longing. Her scent was gentle and comforting to Y/n; in a few months, she would only be able to smell it on her clothes until it would fully wash away. She reached her hand up and gently traced along her cheek, thumb grazing the slight pout on Yunjin’s lips; the lips she would kiss and touch for the last time soon enough.
Y/n sighed and was about to move, “where are you going?” She hummed confused at the tired, almost grumpy mumble that came from Yunjin. The arm around her waist tightened its grip, pulling Y/n flush against her warm body. She was held in an embrace she would be missing and never be able to suffice with another one. 
She would miss it all so much that it would leave her lovesick. 
If only they were aware, would it change anything? Perhaps their words.
“Nowhere, Jen.”
“Good, don’t leave.” She mumbled before turning onto her side, sighing in content as Y/n snuggled closer, right under her chin, letting Yunjin take in the calming scent of her hair. 
“I don’t plan on leaving,” her voice held a slight rasp as it was starting to fill with exhaustion and her usually sleepless nights weren’t as bad because it was easy to fall asleep in Yunjin’s presence. Maybe it was good considering that the nights ahead would be nothing, but sleepless and draining. 
“Neither do I,” those words of security. 
Those silent promises they would break. 
Y/n closed her eyes at the security she felt, falling asleep in the home that she had found. 
‘And even though you put an ocean in between us’
Y/n blinked her tired eyes open and stared ahead, the empty room seemed to stretch for miles in the dark, the bed cold and empty even if it had felt so warm just a second before she awoke. A dull ache pierced her heart at the realisation of it being a vivid dream. It took her a while to realise it was just another dream and that Yunjin was far away.
It somehow didn’t matter that she wasn’t there anymore, it did matter because it hurt and the longing for something she couldn’t have exhausted her, it just didn’t mean that she would forget her simply because she wasn’t there. 
There was something utterly beautiful about true love, but for something to be beautiful, there had to be something ugly. Which was the miles in between them, the separate dreams they were chasing and the evergreen feelings she couldn’t express to her anymore. 
All that was left was missing the idea of Yunjin, of that something that they had.
‘I will try to keep us
Together forever, nostalgia’
It wasn’t as frequent anymore, but once in a while those vivid dreams came to haunt Y/n. She turned to lay on her back and stare at the ceiling. She watched the memories wash away, trying to not care, but then she would find herself grasping for them in panic, terrified that she would forget about Yunjin even if it had been two years.
No one had simply been able to be what she was. 
After each of these dreams, she found herself closing her eyes again and repeating those memories. Despite it all, she tried to keep them together forever no matter how faint certain parts could become. Y/n would bury herself with these memories if they ever died. She kept her and Yunjin together even after two years. 
‘I just need to know that you are happy
So if it couldn't be me, then go ahead, forget me’
As time passed Y/n would find herself slipping out of her nostalgia and into reality, instead of dreaming about her, she was wondering about the other girl. Y/n was left wondering if Yunjin still had those CDs she burned for her, together with the walkman she never got back. If that shirt Yunjin pulled off the night she said she loved her was with her even though it had been years.
Did she remember their love? The same way Y/n did. 
There was a part of her that hurt whenever she thought about the fact that she was possibly the only one who still thought about the other. However, even if that was the case, she still wanted to know how Yunjin was doing even if she was the only one who still cared about how the other was doing. 
Was she at least happy after leaving her behind to follow her dreams? 
That was all that mattered to Y/n, to know that Yunjin was happy then she wouldn’t hold it against her. She would be fine with Yunjin not thinking about her the same way she would think about her almost every day. Y/n would be fine with Yunjin never reminiscing about their past together at all; with being forgotten.
“I remember helping this one group produce a song—It’s like they are making them in factories with how many groups debut lately.”
Y/n looked up from the DAW and tilted her head back to look up at the TV that was hung above them on the wall. There was no sound coming from it, “what’s this?” She questioned, wondering why her friend was playing what was a South Korean channel. That sad little bittersweet feeling filled her as she became once again painfully aware that all that she did was escape now and that in reality somewhere among those people was Yunjin.
She was no longer here with Y/n. 
“It’s the little showcases they do when they debut or make a comeback.” Y/n had been too bitter to keep track, but she knew that she would be happy for the girl. It would mean the world to her.
The one simple thing she had been wondering for these past two years was finally answered. “What group is this?” Y/n asked, dewy-eyed. She couldn’t help but smile as relief washed over her and she grew sentimental. Her heart felt fixed for a second, it was beating like it did when Yunjin was around her and told her how much she loved her. 
She was reminded of how much tender love she still had for her, knowing she couldn’t give it to her.
“Le sserafim.” 
Yunjin looked happy, she looked passionate; Y/n felt like she achieved something just from seeing Yunjin finally live out the dreams she’d had for so many years, the ones she had strived for so hard. 
There was no way for Y/n to know if the girl missed her or at least even thought about her once or if she had forgotten all about her. It didn’t matter as long as she was happy and if that was the case Y/n would rather be forgotten.
It couldn’t be Y/n that Yunjin chose in the end, but her dreams.
‘I traced my steps back to where we first met
And hold the memory 'til you slip away’’
“Excuse me, do you have Lucinda Williams LP records?”
“I don’t really work here…” 
Y/n stopped and looked over at the taller girl with confusion, after looking up from her phone, as she was sure that she saw staff in this exact spot a second ago. Her eyes glanced away from the girl and she realised that the person she initially was going to ask for help was now a row away from her.
“I do know where the LP is though–” Y/n stuttered in her step, making the other girl do the same which created an awkward moment of confusion. “I could show it.” She pointed out the obvious she was trying to do and Y/n at last caught on.
“Thank you and sorry for mistaking you for working here.” She apologised as they walked beside each other through the endless aisles of the vintage vinyl store with both old and new LP records, including CDs, walkmans and more. The store was dimly lit with yellow and beige undertones, it smelt of cardboard and dust, and the air felt thick and warm, but was evocative. 
“It’s fine, you have a nice accent. British–” “Cockney.” The two looked at each other and Y/n looped her thumb through the hole in the sleeve of her sweater. She squeezed it, was there a tremble in her voice? There was and there never usually was one. 
“British, yeah, cockney is the dialect.” She clarified as she had answered the girl before she had the chance to finish talking. What she got in return was a bright smile, one she hadn’t seen before, especially not since she moved to New York. It felt like people didn’t have time to smile or be nice in the busy city. 
“It’s pretty,” she fished for words to say, but couldn’t figure out how to receive the compliment. Y/n found herself at a loss for words because of the stranger walking beside her. “Lucinda Williams feels specific though.” However, the pretty stranger filled in the silence that would possibly fall upon them.
“I’m looking for inspiration, I grew up listening to her.”
“Inspiration?” 
Y/n breathlessly chuckled at that, remembering how she was called a fool after declaring that she was moving to New York to chase her dreams of becoming a musician. She nodded and the both of them stopped before a big row of records, her eyes scanning for the one she was looking for.
“Yeah, I’m musically inclined I guess.”
The stranger continued to make conversation, seemingly interested in the other stranger. “As in…” Y/n looked away from the rows of records as one was handed to her and she looked at the ‘World Without Tears’ LP in the dark-haired girl’s hands. 
“As in–” She took the record from the girl with a small thank you. What she also received was a bright smile and the inspiration she had been looking for. It was hard to find a muse, but somehow a pretty and nice stranger was setting a fire ablaze. “I've always wanted to be an artist and so I moved here, to New York, to follow my dreams.”
“I’m Yunjin by the way.” She introduced herself, looking at the pretty stranger with an accent, a cockney dialect like she had said. Something grew inside her chest, someone Yunjin had just met, someone she didn’t know the name of, the girl in front of her; she had so much in common with the girl in front of her despite not knowing her name yet.  
“Or well–Jennifer when I’m back home.”
“I’m Y/n.” The girl said as they both looked each other in the eye, for the first time, but not the last, yet, locked hands. 
‘I miss you more than I say I do
You had to follow all your dreams, just wish that they included me’
Y/n reached for the record that was packed between the other ones on the shelf. The old vinyl store smelled of faint dust, cardboard and memories, evocative as always. She picked up what was the same-titled LP she had bought here when she met Yunjin or Jennifer when she was back home. 
She continued to walk along the aisles, walking through memory lane once again, remembering how this was the place where she spoke about her dreams to a stranger who then became someone who knew her better than she knew herself. That same person who would leave Y/n behind to follow all her dreams; she wasn’t upset about it.
The girl stopped in front of what was a shelf with newer artists, the new generation of artists and looked at the names. However, she knew what she came for, to see a name on the shelves yet when she saw it she continued to walk. 
It did make her heart pound and teeth dig into her lower lip to contain all these overwhelming emotions that were being stirred inside of her. If only she could share them with the stranger who became her everything, to finally be able to share what she always had wanted to share with her.
The old vintage store had changed; it had gotten modern details and more products to attract more people. The world moved forward, and nothing stayed the same, all that used to be had changed around her. 
Y/n had yet to grasp it all, she didn’t meddle in the genre and maybe it was because it only made her think of one person. She still stopped over at the section to see the mini albums. Despite being aware that Yunjin was happy, obviously since she achieved what she always wanted, Y/n still wished that she was part of why she was so happy and those dreams.
Her fingers only brushed over the mini album, letting it slip through them; she preferred the past and didn’t enjoy certain changes as she continued to walk. She took a trip down memory lane, from the beginning until there was nothing more left to reminisce until she reached the part where Yunjin slipped away and they stopped creating memories together. She played it all on a loop. It was hard to pretend when she knew the truth of who and what she longed for.
‘Together forever, nostalgia
It's crazy, baby, I want you’
To sleep in nostalgia; to escape the now, Y/n found herself giving into the beauty of an illusion.
The romance of missing the idea of Yunjin who she knew wasn't far for the first time in so long, but still it felt like miles away.
It had been three years and four months. It was crazy, but Y/n still wanted Huh ‘Jennifer’ Yunjin as she stood on the outdoor theatre stage of Coachella, singing the song she had been living for the past years. 
She too reached her dreams even though she was wistful after her old one. 
‘Together forever, nostalgia
It's crazy, baby, I want ya’
Nostalgia had never been less present in Yunjin’s life as she found herself living in the now, in her reality, but this time it was because she wanted to. This time she didn’t want to escape into a dream when the scene before her was beyond what she could indulge in reminiscence.
The sun was setting and her view felt ethereal and heartbeat familiar. It was all she needed, to see Y/n reach her dreams too, that they both had reached their dreams even if it was without the other there, without being able to share it. 
Dewy-eyed she stared with sentimental spilling from her eyes and love clogging up her throat, her body warming up in a fluttering way she had wondered if she would ever feel again. 
Yunjin still had the CDs that Y/n burned her, she asked her mum to send them just a few weeks after she arrived together with the walkman. That T-shirt, the one Yunjin put on a teddy bear she hugged each night, was still with her, reminding her each time of where her love lay and the night she said where it did lay. 
It was impossible to let go of the past, to not sleep in nostalgia and reminisce every day and think about the girl who was on stage. Impossible to not wonder how she was doing. Impossible to not wonder if Yunjin too was Y/n’s wonderwall or if she was the only one.
It’s crazy, Yunjin thought, it’s crazy that she had kept her and Y/n together forever, in nostalgia. It’s crazy how she kept something that wasn’t there, alive. It’s crazy how close yet how far she was from her. It’s crazy that she watched Y/n from the crowd and wanted her despite the miles and years apart. It’s crazy that she would bury herself with this nostalgia, this illusion if it ever died. 
‘Together forever, nostalgia
It's crazy, baby, I want ya’
That little flame for their old dreams never died, they could always start chasing them again because they had kept it alive with the romance of missing the idea of the other. They had been kept together by sleeping in their nostalgia.
a/n: idk i just had to write this 'cause i love suki waterhouse, and nostalgia is just too good, need it injected into my veins, her every song tbh. hope it was enjoyable though since i really enjoyed writing it. i really appreciate the support, especially reblogs. love yall <3
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newfallstrangeleaves · 10 months
Text
Yandere bully
Vortex
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M!Yandere x F!Reader Warning: Mentions of bullying, violence, making out (little bit of suggestive at the end) Summary: Dylan has always had a hard time with his emotions, but when you come along everything seems to amplify. Author's note: Finally here! As promised to @xvth2244 ❤ I read your other ask and it's not exactly what you wrote but I hope it's still good nonetheless!
“Move nerds.” Dylan says as he practically smashes into a group of boys while on his way to class. Items fly out of their hands as they fall to the floor. Dylan chuckles as he grabs a colorful pen case. The boy who presumably is the owner of said pen case gets up and grabs hold of Dylan's arm. 
“Hey, give it back!” He tries to come across as confident, but his inability to keep eye contact gives him away. 
“And if I don't. What are you going to do then? Huh?” The boy looks down on the floor, defeated. “Yeah, I thought so.” 
He lets out a sigh of relief. The summer has come to an end and school starting again is always such a stressful period and those interactions are such a good outlet. Have always been. When things get too overwhelming, feelings you can't control, then taking to anger and aggression has always been a quick fix. You get mad, blow it on some kid that walks by, and then it's gone again. 
Of course, he still has his regulars. The unfortunate that has been targeted solely because they give the right reactions, right when he needs them to. 
If he feels that today is a good day to make someone cry then he knows a good group of nerds he could corner and threaten. If he is in need to blow off some steam though punches then nothing is better than getting into a fight with one of the jocks. It's easy to get them upset, all you have to do is mention their fragile ego, works way better than calling their girlfriend a slut. 
Though he doesn't always win these fights and will definitely get hurt, the rush is far better than if he were to beat up one of the nerds. A fight is not a fight without resistance. 
And this has worked pretty well. Sure he gets in trouble and sure he has pretty much no friends in school. The only people who dare go near him and that he has some respect for are his bandmates. But he likes it that way. 
All of this was fine until you showed up. There was nothing unique about you, just another girl in the sea of others. You kept smiling and making small talk with the people at your locker. You seemed to make friends quickly. Fine, that doesn't bother him. 
But what did bother him was your cluelessness. Dylan sat down at his usual spot by the window. Not a soul sat down within his proximity. 
Except you. 
You smiled and sat down in the empty seat next to him. How can you not realize there could be a reason that no one was sitting with him? He had half a mind to show you what you so clearly couldn't see. 
Dylan spent nearly half the lecture glaring in your direction and you, seemingly unaffected, kept taking note of whatever the teacher was talking about. Then you tried to erase something only to realize the eraser was all dried up. With a sigh, you turn to him and whisper;
“Do you have a spare one?” 
One sentence was all it took; like lightning, it shot through him, an emotion he couldn't quite understand. 
For a moment he just stared at you. Then without a word he scrambled in his backpack for what you asked for. He was sure the pen case he snatched earlier was still in there. When he finally got it he realized the whole case was covered with Pokemon characters. It was way too late to hide now, you had already seen it and let out a giggle. He could practically feel his face glow red. 
Now he feels an emotion he definitely could describe. Embarrassment. Something he definitely wasn't very fond of feeling. Without a word, he stood up, slammed the pen case in front of you and stormed out of the classroom. 
Getting away from school grounds felt like a good idea until the second his bandmates came into view. Ben, with his buzzed hair and nose ring, hangs over Samuels’ shoulder and Samuel, who looks like a hairier version of Kurt Cobain looks bothered. Could be because of something on his phone or Ben hanging. Dylan, who doesn't feel like now is the right time to have a chat, attempts to turn the other way. But mid-turn he gets spotted.  
“Hey! Dylan! What's up?” Ben calls out and motions for him to come and sit down. Unfortunately, there is nothing he can do other than comply. Perhaps they will see that he is seething and leave him alone. 
“How's school?” Samuel asks nonchalantly. 
“What are you? My mother?” 
“Sooo there is no reason that your face is a tomato and that you're walking around with your fists clenched.” Samuel asks not even lifting his head from his phone. 
“Why would you even care?! What are you even looking at?”  Dylan asks and rips his phone from him. 
“It could be our first gig. So give that back.” Samuel says sternly and holds out his hand. Dylan looks quickly over the messages before he hands it back. 
“What? But the 26th that would be this Saturday? What's that? Like 5 days from now?” 
“Yeah, yeah, that's how it is in showbiz.” Samuel says as he goes right back to typing yet another message. 
“Huh, a girl is coming over here.” Ben announces all of a sudden. With a sigh, Dylan turns to face you once again. 
“Hi, I was just going to return this.” You pant and hold out the pen case. 
“It's not mine.” He says cloudy. 
“Hey! Aren't you suppose to be in class?” Ben says and raises an eyebrow. 
“Oh, well, I… Yes. I suppose I should be. But it's the first day of school. I'm not going to miss anything important.” You say and shrug. “Besides, I wanted to apologize for laughing. I just thought it was cute and…” 
“It's not mine!” His skin crawls at your words, or maybe it's because you're standing way too close. 
“Sooo, are you free Saturday?” Samuel interrupts. A shy blush falls over your cheeks and Dylan can practically feel his blood boiling. Of all the things that could have happened at this moment, nothing could bother him more than this. 
“Oh, well I suppose, what's the occasion?” You ask. 
“Well, we’re playing at the brewery. I think they are announcing some new beer or something and they ask us to play. Thought maybe you would want to come.” He says in his usual nonchalant way. 
“Oh! I would love to!” You practically shine at the invitation. “What time should I be there?” 
“It starts at 8 but if you show up at 7 you can experience what it's like backstage.”
“Sounds good, oh I should head back to class, I'll see you there then.” You say as you head back to the school building. Samuel gives you a nod. He waits for you to get inside before he turns to Dylan. 
“Got you a date.” 
“Fuck you.” 
“Hey, what happened with thank you?” Ben chimed in with an awful grin. 
“Shut up, both of you!” 
A week has passed, the time is ticking towards 7 and Dylan can't seem to get his nerves straight. His leg keeps bouncing up and down. 
“Why did you invite her?” Dylan whines but none of the other boys seems to pay him any mind and keep working on their instruments. “She will just be in the way.” 
“Riiiight, a distraction. You know it's a good thing you brought her up. You should go meet her at the door. I can’t imagine she would be let backstage just like that.” 
“Hey guys!” Though your voice makes his heart beat like never before by some miracle he is able to conceal it. 
“Hm, Weird.” Samuel mumbles as you sit down beside Ben and his guitar on the floor. Ben starts up one of his guitar pick stories right away. 
Not a minute goes by without Dylans' eyes leaving you. Though he should prepare himself, he can't help it. He studies your every movement, from the way you use your hands to the way your eyes wrinkle when you smile. 
Time ticks by quicker when you're here and suddenly there is not long before the show starts. Samuel excuses himself for the bathroom and not far thereafter does Ben leave to help with the speakers. Then there are only the two of you left and silence falls over the room. 
“So, are you nervous for tonight?” You ask. 
“No, I feel normal.” He answers plainly, he can see out of the corner of his eye how you frown and shift in your seat. 
“You know, I am sorry for embarrassing you earlier this week.” You say. 
“I wasn't embarrassed.” His jaw clenches uncomfortably and he keeps his eyes fixed on the importance of keeping his drumsticks polished. 
“Now, I know you say that. But you keep being upset with me.” 
“I'm not upset.” 
“Yeah, sure. Alright, whatever the problem is just know I didn't mean it.” 
“There is no problem! Just… shut the fuck up.” He shouts, throwing the drumsticks across the room. Standing up, he towers over your sitting form. Everything about you at this moment makes his skin prickle, from the fear that falls over your whole demeanor to the fact that you are so small in comparison to him. Finally, you're scared. 
How can that make him feel worse? How can that not scratch the itch? 
He grabs hold of a lamp that sits so neatly on the table and throws that too across the room. The motion makes you flinch. 
He can’t recover from this. As he feels his blood start pumping he knows he can't hold himself back anymore. The second he grabs hold of your arm it's game over. You gasp and he loses all sense of himself. He rushes forward slamming his lips into yours. The force makes both of you fall back onto the floor. 
His entire body is on top of you. His lips are forceful, devouring you. Your body is pressed so impossibly close to his. He can't keep track of where his hands are, if they are planted on the floor or roaming your body he can't tell. His mind is in a buzz at the moment. 
“Dylan, you're up soon.” You say as you pull away, trying to get some air. But he can't stop, he continues planting kisses and sucking on your neck. He sucks on one spot in particular that gets a whine out of you, which further spurs him on. He goes back to making out with you, slowly grinding onto your core. 
“Dylan…” Whatever you want to say gets suffocated between your lips. 
As his hands are fighting to get something off, his pants, your pants, it doesn't matter, Ben comes hurrying through the door. 
“Whoa, sorry, sorry, I just needed my guitar pick, that's all.” He takes a step over the two of you to get it from the table. The eagerness dies down with the interruption. As Ben is hurrying out again he stops for just a second at the door. 
“You know, you do what you gotta do, but we start in five and if you're late Sams’ not going to be happy.” He says before he speeds out the door. 
“I have to go.” Dylan says breathy as he hurries to grab his drumsticks. 
“Good luck.” You tell him, still on the floor trying to gather yourself and button your pants back up.
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st1llwthyou · 6 months
Text
POPPIN’ CHERRY.
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fandom ꕀ bts
pairing ꕀ jungkook x f!reader
applicable aus & genre ꕀ roommate au, smut
synopsis ꕀ those were the last words he ever expected to come out of your mouth. but heck, jungkook would be lying if he said that he didn’t fucking love it.
word count ꕀ 2,322
warnings & tags ꕀ language, inexperienced reader, dom/sub dynamics, biting, pet names (fem! – baby, angel etc.), nipple play, dacryphilia, corruption kink (implied), dirty talk, cunnilingus, pussy drunk!jk, fingering — RATED E for explicit content.
notes ꕀ hello! i’m a newbie lskjdikdj and this is my tumblr debut 🫣! i’m so, very nervous and scared, but i hope you enjoy <3!
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“You want me to… what?!” Jungkook looks at you wide-eyed, clearly flabbergasted by your proposition. You swallow nervously, hoping with all your might that your little plan works out. 
“Make me orgasm… can you not?” You whisper with bated breath. It’s uncertain where your boldness is coming from, but you’ve come a bit too far to back out now. 
He shakes his head a few times, getting up from his bed to approach you. “It’s not about if I can or not, ____. Do you not understand how fucking abrupt this is? I’m sort of weirded out, where is this coming from, huh?” 
You lean against the door frame to his room, heaving out a sigh. Of course, you know how out of the blue this is, to him. It almost makes you sad that he’s never picked up on any of the hints you’ve dropped before. That you like him. 
“I… um, heard you.” You murmur. It won’t hurt to tell a bit of truth.
“... Heard what exactly?” Jungkook quirks an eyebrow at you, skeptical. 
“You… and the girls you bring back sometimes.” That sentence stings to even utter, but you manage somehow. 
A sigh escapes his pretty lips. “Fuck… I thought you’d be sleeping. And the walls seem pretty darn thick so I assumed not a lot of noise will travel.” 
“I was sleeping, I just… woke up again to the sounds of, y’know…” 
A heavy silence falls between you two. You wait for him to say something, anything, but he doesn’t. Jungkook just regards you silently, those magnetic pools of honey trailing over your figure with no prominent emotions visible. 
“Hey… you can decline, by the way. If it wasn’t clear. I’ll go back and we can just, um, pretend that nothing happened and go back to being normal roommates.” Tears burn in the back of your eyes, but you still try to appear brave and strong in front him. 
“I know I can decline. But I’m not sure if I want to.” Jungkook takes a few more steps forward, reaching for you. As his warm, big hand finds your jaw, you lean into the comforting touch instinctively. “You’re so sweet and adorable, I never thought I’d hear those words out of your mouth.” 
“Can you just—” 
“But I liked it. Say it again.” He disrupts your complaint even before you could start. It takes you a few moments to properly register what he said. But once you do, your whole body thrums from excitement, heartbeat going crazy.
“Mm–make me come, Jungkook.” Your voice is barely audible, but just enough for his blood to rush south. His strong arms wrap around your smaller frame to hoist you up, carrying you to his bed. 
“I might just not survive this, fuck.” Jungkook hisses under his breath, gently dropping you on his mattress. He’s over aware of every little thing about you now, from the outline of your pebbled nipples on your pajama, to your glossy eyes that are locked on him. 
“Can I call you ‘baby’? And other nicknames?” He enquires hopefully, his hands eagerly exploring your curves. You tremble under his touch, vigorously shaking your head in an assertive manner. Jungkook chuckles.
“Aww, you’re so cute and eager, baby.” He hovers over you, his eyes searching for yours. “You want me to make you come, hm?” 
Even though your heart feels like it’ll burst out of your chest, you lock your eyes with him. “Yea… I– I’ve never orgasmed in my life.” Your voice is small, heat rising to your cheeks as you confess, embarrassed. Jungkook leans down to nuzzle your face, dropping a butterfly kiss right beneath your eye.
“Is that so? Not even by yourself?” One of his hands slips beneath your pajama, gently stroking your tummy. He smiles when you nod, his other hand cupping your face. “It’s okay, we can try it out today and see what happens.” 
Jungkook is so close, studying you and everything you do — almost enamored by your nuances. “May I kiss you?” He rests his forehead against yours, waiting for your confirmation. 
“Yes please.” He doesn’t waste a second, soft lips finding yours in a sweet kiss. The simple touch alone gets you exhilarated, hands gripping onto his t-shirt. He lets his tongue run over your lower lip, making you twitch under him. 
That snaps something in Jungkook, his hand firmly grasping your jaw while he coaxes your mouth open to him. You gasp when he teases your tongue with his, taking control of the kiss from the get go. The way he moves his tongue against yours makes you dizzy, strange sensations flooding your body. It feels like he’s unraveling you. 
Your little moans and whimpers egg him on, his teeth nibbling at your lower lip. Jungkook is feeling partially intoxicated by you, his mind hazy from lust. Although, he pulls away from the mind-numbing kiss a while later to give you some space to breathe. “Fuck,” he curses, enticed by your teary eyes and swollen lips. 
It takes you a while to gather yourself, but you soon realize how much effect that single kiss had on you. Your underwear has soaked through with your arousal, uncomfortably sticking to your skin. Your nipples are also rock hard, aching to be touched. 
“Jungkook,” you whine weakly, thrashing a bit to show your distress. His mouth returns to yours, right hand swifty unbuttoning your pajama. Jungkook trails down wet kisses down your neck, suckling on the soft skin in places. A moan escapes you when he tweaks your clothed nipple between his fingers. 
“I haven’t started anything yet, princess.” His whisper is hot against your cleavage, right hand slipping beneath your back to unhook your bra. “So pretty,” he coos, throwing it away somewhere in the room. A sudden wave of embarrassment hits you as you realize that this is the most bare you’ve ever been to anyone. So, you try to cover yourself, but he’s faster to stop you, narrowing his eyes. “Don’t. Did I not mention how fucking pretty you are?”
Face flushed, you avoid eye contact. “Sorry… it’s just– um, the first time someone saw me like this.” 
Jungkook lets go of your wrists, the weight of your words sinking in. “Good fucking lord, ____.” His eyes darken, breathing uneven. “Let me take care of you, angel.” He captures your lips in a searing kiss, strong, calloused hand massaging your breast. His other hand is at the small of your back, supporting both of you. 
Eventually, he trails downward, pressing open-mouthed kisses until he reaches your unoccupied breast. With his eyes locked on you, Jungkook licks at your stiffened bud, earning a whimper from you. “Look at me, princess.” He encourages, almost losing it when your droopy eyes fixate on his face. 
With his cock throbbing inside his boxer-briefs, he wraps his lips around your nipple, earning him a lewd whine. You place your arm over your mouth quickly, head falling back as he runs his teeth and tongue over the sensitive bundle of nerves. It feels unbelievably good, you had no idea having your nipples sucked would be like this.
“Oh my god,” you cry out, overwhelmed by the sensation when Jungkook also starts tweaking and teasing your other nipple with his finger. More arousal has leaked from your sopping hole, a tight feeling inside your lower belly coiling. The pleasure is almost blinding, making you twitch and tremble under him.
Soon, he impatiently moves to ravish the unattended breast, adding more to your devastation. You’re just barely hanging in there, extremely unsure of what’s happening with your body, feeling like you might explode any minute. Jungkook, on the other hand, bites and suckles on your tits like his life depends on it, frenzied by your sweet taste and reactions. 
But he stops short when he notices your hips bucking up, eyes teary, ready to spill the diamond drops. “My baby,” he murmurs, letting his right hand slip inside your pajama bottoms. You moan out of relief when he presses down on your clit, inner walls clenching around nothing. Jungkook is almost surprised when he finally feels the damp cloth of your cotton panties. “Fuck, can’t believe you.” 
He quickly gets rid of your bottoms, eyes falling upon the massive wet patch on your panties. “No– it’s embarrassing—” You try to cross your legs shut. Quite genuinely, you had no idea that it’s possible to produce that much liquid down there. Unfortunately, he’s way too strong, spreading your legs apart with bare-minimum effort. 
“Shh, nothing is embarrassing, angel. You’re a fucking goddess, out of the world, even.” Jungkook sounds so sincere that your heart skips a beat. “I’ll make you feel so good, baby.” He pulls at the waistband of your panties, slowly taking the offending material off. An expletive rumbles in his throat when he sees the strings of your arousal attaching you to your underwear. 
“You’re gonna drive me crazy.” He hisses, struggling to keep his urges on check. Blindly throwing away the panties somewhere, Jungkook eagerly settles down between your legs, already feeling his cock twitch at the sight of your drenched pussy. “Goddamn…” He gingerly parts your nether lips, exposing your dripping hole to his hungry gaze. 
“Don’t stare at it like that,” your voice is small, heart doing backflips in your chest. It makes you feel so shy, the way his eyes are trained on your lady bits. His short laugh makes you wanna rub your thighs together. 
“Awe, is my princess feeling embarrassed? Don’t be, you have the prettiest pussy, all swollen and wet for me~” Jungkook rubs his middle finger along your slit, letting it coat into your nectar. New to the feeling of his thick, calloused finger, you whimper out of sensitivity. Oh, the way he’s absolutely adored by you. 
He tilts his head as if he’s contemplating something. Then all of a sudden, he starts lowering himself until he is face to face with your core. “Wan’ a taste of your cute, little pussy.” Goosebumps spread over your skin as you clench at the thought. Jungkook lazily thumbs your swollen clit, enamored by your responses. “You’re so fucking responsive, makes me wanna play with you forever.” 
“Nngh— Jungkook!” you squeal as he licks a fat stroke along your pussy, covering the whole area with his saliva. It’s weird — the way it feels, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like it. He moans at the initial taste, putting your legs on his shoulder to really get in there. 
Jungkook laps at your cunt hungrily, his thumb diligently rubbing your clit. His tongue teasingly rims around your entrance, before plunging into the depths of your core. You jolt, crying out of despair, hypersensitive to his ministrations. The flexible muscle strokes at your gummy walls, increasing the weird feeling inside your stomach. Now, you feel certain that you will burst at any moment, clenching on his tongue helplessly. 
But he doesn’t stop, his little groans going straight through your core. Jungkook is in a frenzy, his whole mouth buried in your pussy as he greedily devours every single drop of your nectar. With his movements getting quicker and rougher, the knots in your lower stomach start to feel like they’ll snap. “Oh my god,” you cry out loud, “Jungkook, it– ugh, feels so weird— wait— Aah!” 
Your body goes rigid as soon as he pinches your clit between his fingers, a flooding sensation spreading throughout you. White spots appear in your vision while your body breaks out in exhilarating shivers, a string of incoherent words leaving you. Jungkook, on the other hand, slurps at your juices, his heart swelling in his chest. This is the first time you experienced a release. And he’s the first person to taste your sweet cherry pop. 
Your body loosens up soon after, leaving you all mushy. He holds you close, slowly retracting his tongue from your pussy, making you whine weakly. It makes an embarrassingly loud popping sound when he finally pulls away, his whole mouth covered with your slick, glistening under the dim lighting of his bedroom. 
“Baby,” Jungkook coos at you, noticing the tear streaks on your temples. He never thought he’d be seeing you like this, but he’s loving every second of it. You look messed up in the best way possible, all for him. “Did I make you feel good, hm? You came all over my face, look at me, c’mon~” 
His voice is cocky, eyes twinkling with mischief. When you finally meet his eyes, Jungkook reaches for your with his left hand, wiping away the stray tears. You’re unsure what to say, still processing everything that just happened. But still, you clear your throat, starting, “Um… Thank you…” 
“Oh? For what?” He can’t help his chuckle. You’re just so freaking cute.
“For… for making me come, like I asked, Jungkook.” you whisper, nuzzling his hand affectionately. 
“Trust me, it was my pleasure. But you’re welcome! Care to receive my other services regarding this?” 
You flush at his words, immediately realizing what he means exactly.
“Well…?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow, quite impatient.
“Mmm… I’d love to.” He doesn’t waste a single second upon your confirmation, his tattooed right hand cupping your pussy in a rough manner. 
“God—” you moan as he pushes his middle finger inside, overwhelmed by how thick and long it is compared to your own, familiar one. Jungkook leans down to press a sweet kiss on your lips.
“I’m really sorry, but I don’t think you’ll be getting any sleep tonight.” His big, brown eyes look into yours, full of lust and something softer that you can’t really place. 
“I don’t mind.” Your smile turns into a broken moan when he hits a specific spot deep inside you, your gummy walls squeezing his finger appreciatively. 
Being stupidly bold isn’t so bad all the time, maybe. 
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˗ˏˋ ★ extended notes ˎˊ˗
thanks so much for reading 🥺! i hope this was okay >.< (pls ignore typos or other mistakes, english is not my 1st language) ; i’d love to hear your thoughts about this! please reblog, comment, or even send me asks, feedback is very much appreciated!
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