#sorry gotta share because ive been thinking about that all day

[garoujo]

REUNITING WITH THEM AT THE AIRPORT — BLUE LOCK

feat : nagi seishiro, bachira meguru, itoshi rin, itoshi sae, mikage reo & kunigami rensuke.

♱ warnings — sfw ! some minor making out, f!leaning petnames, all characters written as pro players. / note. i have finally come w sum bllk sfw ! im sorry ive been mia all day it’s scara day so ive been buried in genshin < 3

・✶ ｡ﾟ NAGI SEISHIRO

nagi sighs as he tries to control the sudden race of his heart — almost there, he thinks as he makes his way through the gates at the airport. the pillow he stole from your side of the bed is still tucked under his arm and he still looks drowsy, no doubt from the nap the landing has just woken him from but he still brightens when his lidded gaze meets yours.

his feet are carrying him to you before he can even realise, completely cutting off whatever reo was grumbling about as a soft sort of smile threatens to curl at the corner of his lips, because although he wasn’t the type of boyfriend to swap spit with you in a crowd, he’s the type who’d always find you in one.

“seishiro?” you grin as nagi finally comes to stand infront of you, giggling at the way he reaches to let you wrap around him like he knows you want to as he presses a few gentle, drowsy kisses along your face. “welcome home, i missed you,”

it’s subtle, the way he loves you but it’s never felt like a sacrifice of the finer things because when you feel his arms squeeze around you tighter you know he missed you too.

nagi almost takes you both down with the way he lets himself immediately melt into you, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck like he’s burying himself into a pile of blankets after a long day, sighing at the familiar warmth he feels surround him as you both sway.

but you bat him away playfully as you try to drag him back to the car, making the striker pout down at you as you really take in the drowsy look on his features — moving to smooth his bangs out of his eyes slightly before you watch him nuzzle and lean into the touch. “we have to leave, sei. we can relax when we’re home.” you laugh and his shoulders drop with a sigh, a little grumpy he doesn’t get to cuddle up to you yet, but his eyes still flutter closed at your touch again.

“eh, but thought you missed me, was such a drag ‘m tired — just lemme be clingy, pretty thing. please.”

・✶ ｡ﾟ BACHIRA MEGURU

bachira is already grinning when he takes his first step through the airport gate, bringing him a moment closer to you for the first time in what’s felt like forever as he longs for your touch.

his hairs a little messy from his nap and his headphones are haphazardly hanging around his neck, your shared playlist playing quietly through the speaker as he teases the rest of his teammates. his suitcase wheels behind him but suddenly it feels weightless when he catches his first glimpse of you.

“baby! did you miss me?” bachira sings before he immediately makes his way towards you, giddy smile in place as his luggage lays long forgotten on the ground behind him because when you run to meet him, his arms are already outstretched and you both would’ve went down hard onto the airport floor if it wasn’t for his balance.

his lips find yours almost immediately, shamelessly but there’s love in his words despite the way they come out in small pants into the kiss. “gotta tell me you missed me, baby. mhm—been waiting to hear it.”

“i did miss you, bachi!” you reply, quickly and it only seems to make bachira hug you even tighter as he giggles, peppering your skin in quick presses of his lips like he’s making up for lost time. but it’s even faster the way he casts a quick wave over his shoulder, eager to get you back home so he can finally wrap himself in you like he’s been longing to as he bids his teammates goodbye.

but then he turns to press another quick kiss to your lips as his hand intertwines with yours and he swings them by his side with a cheekier sort of smile.

“did you see me play for you? i was good, hm.. was all for you, you gonna reward me for it?”

・✶ ｡ﾟ ITOSHI RIN

rin sighs as he tries to control the way his heart seems to kick at his ribs with every careful step he takes towards the exit gate, towards you. his eyes are a little darker than usual, he’s a little more uptight and his muscles ache more than usual — he’s told himself he should stretch more after training but he knows it’s because he really only rests best beside you.

he readjusts his training bag across his chest as his eyes take in his first glance of the crowd waiting on the players arriving, before they finally land on an all too familiar smile that has his feet carrying him closer before he can even register the movement.

rin’s gaze doesn’t leave yours once with every step and he always found it harder to hide the way his lips threaten to curl at the mere sight of you. he thinks you’re even prettier than the day he left you, there’s still love in your gaze and you still feel warm when he lets his hand reach out to brush along your cheek.

the touch is subtle, but it guides you into him as he leans into meet you — exhaling with the first, soft brush of his lips along your temple, because you still feel like home to him when you reach out to pull him closer.

“did you have a good time?” you ask, a little giddy hes back with you and you feel the soft smile on rin’s lips when he offers you a grunt in return, subtly reaching to intertwine his hands with yours before he’s stuffing them into his pocket and luring you away from the rest of his rowdy teammates.

“i’m glad to be back.” he breathes and you know he means to tell you he’s missed you when it accompanies a pretty little blush on his cheeks, his gaze still locked on the path ahead before he’s squeezing your hand in his and clearing his throat as he continues. “you watched, didn’t you?” he hopes.

“ofcourse i did.”

・✶ ｡ﾟ ITOSHI SAE

it was charming the way you immediately watch sae’s carefully neutral expression soften as he makes his way through the gates with the team. but what you don’t see, is the restlessness in his hands as he longs to reach for you, to hold you as he ignores the long journey ache the flight has left him with.

he notices the reporters, the ones waiting to catch interviews with the team but he couldn’t care less — not when you’re standing all pretty and waiting for him, just how he left you as he doesn’t even spare them a glance.

sae’s missed the feeling of your skin against his, the warm press of your body against his chest as he slept — maybe that explains the crook in his neck and how cold his hotel bed felt, like it was missing something, someone.

but then he’s suddenly standing across from you as you send him a starry-eyed sort of look that makes him breathe out a chuckle, his fingertips tilting your chin higher before he’s pulling you in for a quick kiss. it’s one that makes him melt slightly, some of the tension leaving his body as he exhales against your lips — it’s not long enough, but he’s always been especially careful about keeping you safe from gossip.

“have you been good, sweetheart?” sae asks as he pulls away, his thumb smoothing along your skin as his sharp gaze remains on yours and his free hand presses against your lower back.

“aren’t i always?” you reply, teasing and that makes him breathe out a real laugh when he watches you lean into his touch after, making something warm burst in his chest before he’s tilting his head at you with another soft smile.

“yes, you are. so let’s get you home, i want to hear what you’ve been busy with.”

・✶ ｡ﾟ MIKAGE REO

reo yawns drowsily as he stretches his arms above his head, he’s sore from the flight and he wants nothing more than to melt into his bed but there’s still a grin on his lips because he knows you’ll be wrapped up right beside him.

“there’s my bunny.” he breathes, mostly to himself when he catches his first glimpse of you and he gives his teammates a quick, eager goodbye before he’s making his way towards you — sending you a teasing sort of look as he watches the way your own grin mirrors his.

reo’s arms wrap tight around your figure as he nuzzles himself into the crook of your neck, mouthing at the skin as you giggle and twist in his hold but it only makes him realise how much he missed you, this, when he finally pulls away to press his lips against yours.

it’s eager and a little messy the way he kisses you, but he couldn’t care less because you’re here and he’s home and he’s waited to have you back with him. he feels your fingers graze through his hair, twitching into his roots and the touch makes him groan against your lips before he pulls back to raise his brow at you, taunting.

“did you miss me, hm?” reo grins despite the way he knows the answer, leaning in closer to press more kisses along your jawline as you reply with an eager little yes that makes him laugh — squeezing his arms around your waist even tighter before he presses a final kiss against your cheek.

his chest is tight against yours as he lets his lips graze along the shell of your ear, like he’s making sure he can still draw those reactions out of you, making sure you’re still his.

“yeah? so cute, bunny. i hope you were cheering extra loud for me.”

・✶ ｡ﾟ KUNIGAMI RENSUKE

kunigami groans as he feels every hour from the long journey grind and ache through his muscles, stretching out his neck before he’s rubbing the sleep from his eyes. he wants nothing more than to feel you in his arms right now, his hands twitching from where they’re longing to hold you as he looks around the crowds at the exit gate.

but despite his fatigue, he moves quickly when he finally finds you — shrugging off his luggage in favour of holding you instead as you rush your way into his hold, throwing yourself into the muscled chest that you’d missed pressing yourself against every night.

you feel one of kunigami’s palms rest against the back of your neck before the other wraps tight around your hips and he’s pulling you in eagerly for a kiss. you hear his gruff i love yous mix with yours, exchanged between rough presses of his lips against your own but it’s feels so very him and so very much like home that you can’t help but eagerly drink up everything he gives to you.

he kisses you dizzy, but still manages to hold you upright as he keeps you pressed against his chest — only pulling away when he’s breathing deep and he’s letting his palm press against your cheek, soft despite the way he’s just stolen your breath away from you.

“did you miss me or something, kuni?” you giggle and you watch the way kunigami’s rolls his eyes despite the way a grin twitches at his lips, not very well disguised by the frown that tries to nestle its way onto his handsome features.

“course i fuckin’ did, princess.” he grunts, low and rugged as he lets his fingers pinch at your cheek and you huff before you shake him off — making a deep croon of a laugh fall from his lips before he’s pressing his lips against your forehead once more.

“come on, gotta get you home. gotta make up for lost time.”

© 2022 garoujo. please do not copy any of my layouts or writing and translate or repost onto any other sites.

#݁ . ࿓ : sealed #blue lock x reader #blue lock fluff #blue lock x you #bllk x reader #bllk fluff #bllk x you #nagi x reader #nagi fluff #mikage reo x reader #reo fluff #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae fluff #itoshi rin x reader #itoshi rin fluff #bachira x reader #bachira fluff #reo x reader #kunigami x reader #kunigami fluff

[ivanzplaid]

Ok so I have this idea but I don't know how to write it. Can I get head cannons for Vincent Sinclair, Amanda Young, Billy Lenz, Otis Driftwood, Doomhead and Jason Voorhees if that's not too much. So they give their s/o a piece of clothing and their s/o returns it but they sprayed their perfume/colonge on it so it smells like them and the slashers reactions to finding that out. Thank you <3

im clearing out my inbox and i saw this and i screamed because I LOVE THIS PROMPT OMG??? adorable i love them all snd im screaming, you always give the best requests 😭

the slashers you chose are adorable theyre so perfect for this btw. ive been having some bill mosely brain rot so im literally rolling. i am adding leo barnes because yk i gotta spread my gospel about niche little characters i love, sorry man✊ but all other slashers are included!!

there are only 10-12 hcs per character this time because theres so many people my b💔

requests r open, masterlist is up!!!

Slashers + Leo Barnes x Gn!Reader + Giving back clothes (that smells like the reader)

Warnings: fluff, some wiseass comments from otis and doomhead, some trauma mentions from amanda, vincent & leo's source, like a LITTLE nsfw in leo's section.... mainly toothrotting fluff imma keep it real

Vincent Sinclair

vincent loves to be reminded of you, he loves to see himself in you ( or you in him ) because hes proud to have someone in his life as loving and gracious as you are, so he didnt hesitate to give his s/o a piece of his clothing

you wearing one of his sweaters, or even sweatpants, has him lightly smiling beneath his mask. he thinks you look like a piece of art in it, and wants to hold and touch you because of that

so after a few days of having it and wearing it, it was bound to smell like you. but just to play with him, you sprayed a little bit more of your cologne on, knowing he'll always think of you when wearing it

when he receives it, hes left wanting to be with you. youre on his brain, youve left him longing for your presence, something in his brain clicked. he'll be laying his head on your shoulder and laying with you, putting his head in the crook of your neck, or even painting you

he loves to be reminded of you, youre a comfort for him. hes unstable and unwell at times, so if youre ever not there or hes stalking his next victims, hes reassured by the thought of you. that youll be waiting or coming back for him soon

will steal your cologne to spray on himself sometimes. he cant hate, it smells good, you have taste. its a motivator for him sometimes, using it to get things done or complete projects that hes lost his spark on

has fallen asleep with his clothes on his face when you werent in bed with him. he didnt mean to, but he was so relaxed and tired, at ease for once, that he dozed off thinking of you

bo will think its ridiculous how he treasures those clothes and wears them more often, but vincents nature leads him to leaning back on you, and this helps with his anxiety or displeasure at times

hes reminded of certain memories you two have together when he smells it, reminiscing in those times. this may spark him to think of some more date ideas. it lowkey makes him more romantic because he wants to be greater for & with you

because of his childhood, stability and reassurance are things he needs, and this really helps him, both in the relationship and in his own life

Amanda Young

she is more than happy to give you her clothes, shes used to sharing and to have someone genuinely wanting her and to be reminded of her is something big

now she is a bit excited and suprised. she probably thinks you didnt mean to do this, and that your cologne/perfume accidentally rubbed off on the clothes she gave you, but its a happy suprise

is almost ashamed of how long she wears / doesnt wash the clothes. its comforting to know that you wore it, and lived in it, and was happy while doing so. she likes to have happy memories connected to her belongings, so this is meaningful

"You should wear my clothes more often- here," she says as she hands you a mound of stuff she thinks youd like. shes trying to be inconspicuous about it but you let out a slight giggle as you of course take it

likes to spritz herself with your perfume/cologne once before the day, it may not be the entirely same thing but she loves to copy what you do

will be more relaxed and in a better mood because of it, she'll be smiling a bit more often and giggling, and may even be in a lighter mood when shes out doing apprentice jobs

once she finds out you did it on purpose, she laughs and thinks its sweet how you thought if her and wanted to do this for her

will start to do it when you lend her clothes, making it a little tradition to spritz her perfume on anything you give her. it makes you laugh about how she picked up on it so quickly, but atleast your laundry hamper smells good now

the other apprentices and john start to notice her new perfume/cologne smell and are a bit curious, but she brushes it off. the others recognizing your perfume/cologne make her prideful to have and be with you, youre the thing shes most proud of

"I.. uhm, bought you more of your cologne/perfume, I noticed you were running low. And I know you really like it." she'll begin to memorize the brand and ones that you might like, surprising you with them as little gifts

Otis Driftwood

he loves sharing clothes, in fact, you two share a clothes drawer/closet. he thinks the moment you two shared a room was the moment your stuff was his and his was yours, he has a bad time with boundaries

he sees you one day in his t shirt and laughs, he thinks its funny that you wear his stuff casually. out of spite, he may steal one of your tops and parade around in it like an ass, but he does love seeing you in his stuff

however, when he gets it back, and is suffocated by your signature smell, he has two reactions. one is: "Aw sweetie what the hell *violently and dramatically coughs* im suffocatin' over here!" (he loves it)

and two is: "Oh baby.. you smell so good.. C'mere." he is going to be stuck on you and drunk on your cologne/perfume, yes he will be much more sexual, yes he is going to hover around you, entertaining you like this

he can never get enough of his s/o, and this only makes it worse. hes always thinking about you because the smell is always lingering in the back of his head

he'll get distracted easily and often forget what hes doing because hes wanting to be with you, or hes thinking about holding you. it'll be to the point where hes making his art pieces, configuring victims in the way he wants, and he just trails off

will hold you down and just rest his head in the crook of your neck so he can be at peace and smell your cologne/perfume, its calming to him and he does it to ground his mind alot

can and will bite you, little lovebites around your neck and collarbone because he has the urge to be close to you from your signature scent, its like primal urges with him

"Ohh Darlin'.. yer teasing me by smelling that good.." has very bad self restraint when it comes to you, he just loves you so much that he wants to show you

if grandpa hugo gives you any shit for wearing and 'fuckin up' otis's clothes, otis will not hesitate to defend you and call him delusional. is 100% at your defense because he doesnt let anyone shit talk you

Leo Barnes

leo may not care as much, he notices when youre actively wearing his stuff, but doesnt notice if some of his shirts are gone. he is a typical guy when it comes to that

however when he sees you in his clothes, its semi-comforting. its almost nice because he feels like youre protected, a vibe of "they're mine". hes a possessive and protective man, especially after his son died, he has an urge for you to be with him, and this is a way for you to be 'with him' in a sense

loves to come up behind you and rest his chin on your head, rubbing your arms as he secretly relishes in the sight of you. he is a is a secret physical contact love language guy if youve been in the relationship for a bit, it comforts him to know that youre there with him

when you finally give him back his clothes, he unsuspectingly finds out they smell like your cologne/perfume as he was going to wash them (which he quickly stopped, putting them to his nose to confirm his initial thought)

a sprinkle of nsfw... he secretly brings the clothes you spritzed your cologne/perfume on to his bed, shutting the door before laying down, holding it to his nose and jerking off, reminiscing on how tempting you are to do this to him, he'll be sure to confront you about it.. after hes finished

you'll see him immediately wear those clothes (casually of course, he cant let you think hes gone obsessed). its honestly therapeutic for him because of his trauma with loss of a loved one, feeling out of control and like he needs to have a sign of you with him

he'll confront you soooo normally about it, laughing and taunting you a bit about how you did this to torture him, since you knew he wouldnt be able to resist you. its loosened him up and made him a bit more soft. he'll laugh as he speaks and raises his eyebrows amused as you try to explain yourself

"So.. You drowned my clothes in your cologne/perfume? Not complaining.. the opposite actually. I'll be sure to get some more while I'm out," acting so nonchalant as he begins to mentally note the brand, hes now addicted to it because it represents you

will fall asleep with his head in the crook of your neck, or on your shoulder, because the smell comforts him to the point where hes able to be vulnerable, because he knows its you

almost makes him more possessive, he feels that youre his. the scent makes him more serious/stern when others are around, its literally primal for him, he cant help it

Doomhead

he thinks this is ALLL ridiculous, but isnt against it, quite the opposite, seeing you in his clothes makes him proud, and even if he teases you for it, he sees it as a sign of loyalty, and he ruffles/pats your hair when he sees it

"Well dontcha look nice now.. glad to see youre wasting my clean clothes" painfully an ass and sarcastic, but in one minute hes about to massage your shoulders because he needs to touch you since you look so perfect

if youve taken his sweatshirt or t shirt, he loves to grab you by the collar of it and pull you close, feeling a lot more in control snd dominant than usual

when you give him back his clothes, he tosses it aside, not using it or seeing what you did till he goes to wear it again (he js a STINKY man lets be real). when he finslly smells it, he laughs hard, knowing that you did it to get a reaction out of him, and thats what you'll get

he thinks its amusing, and he'll confront you in the most dramatic manner possible. putting and arm out and cornering you before slyly smiling, taunting you as he casually holds out the clothes

"Very amusing toots.. I love what youve done with it. You think I wouldnt notice?" after that hes going to drag you away, teasing you and giving you lovebites, tracing his finger over your shoulders, he wants you to know how much he likes it

can and will wear it to 31 if he can, hes not gonna tell you he did, but smelling you jolts him with motivation, especially when he knows he has a long night ahead of him

secretly steals your cologne/perfume if hes missing you, will snort it like its coke, but he needs it to stay stable for the moment

will hold onto you as you fall asleep in bed now, his grip is tight, he wants to fall asleep and wake up to your smell, it is oddly comforting and gives him a deep ass nights sleep

is a bit more in affection now because hes growing, he wants to be closer to you in any situation, his connection and relationship has grown deeper strangely because of this

Jason Vorhees

jason has very.. limited options for clothing, but his mother taught him well, so he shares like a gentleman. he'll even put it on you, gently placing his coat on your shoulders, or sliding you into his loose t-shirt

it brings him soso much joy to see you in his stuff, hes happy to know that you love it too, that you love him. seeing that its a bit big makes him smile, its funny how you still wear it even if it doesnt exactly fit

flaunt the outfits to him and he'll worship you, thinking of how good you look and how hes going to be lending you a lot more clothes, especially if you like it. if youre happy, hes happy

when he gets the clothes back, going to fold them back up to put away, he gets a sniff of them, and to his surprise, they smell lovely, they smell immensely like you. at first he assumes its just because you wore it so much, but he does inside love how abundant the cologne/perfume is, he relishes in it

is veryyy happy to see you the next morning, in an even greater mood than before, hugging you and picking you up everywhere, something about you is just a pick-me-up for him

youll see him wearing the outfit you had on.. no relation to anything, he just takes inspiration. however youll catch him holding a sleeve up and closing his eyes, and thats when you question him, which leads him to trying to shrug the topic off

youll say that you put some of your own cologne/perfume on for a little surprise, and thats when he realizes how lucky he is to be with you, he thinks youre so considerate for it, it almost reminds him of his mother, because she used to spray her perfume everywhere, giving him soft memories about him growing up with her, so this behavior is almost encouraged and is very comforting for him

he may start to want his own cologne after this, to match with you, and so he can smell good for you. he'd want the scents to match, and for his to compliment yours, because its the only right way in his mind

hes proud to be so lucky to have someone like you, wearing your cologne/perfume often, and spritzing it in moderation for when hes out hunting, still wanting to be reminded of you

he likes to have you lay on him while he sleeps, so that he can be close, trace your features, and be at totally contempt with his life

Billy Lenz

now billy is ecstatic about you taking his clothes, hes jumping off the walls and screaming in joy because you wanna even touch and be seen in his stuff, since hes used to being treated like a monster

he wants you to show him IMMEDIATELY what you look like in it, and hes going to be all touchy touchy, admiring you from every angle, maybe even stealing someones camera to get a photo

"Billy's pretty little piggy.. in his own shirt!! Too pretty.. too handsome..." he says as hes breathing heavily in your face, thinking hes acting normal

hes basically tracking when hes gonna get the clothes back because either way hes going to go insane and smell them and wear them and hold them

when he smells your cologne/perfume, he freezes in excitement before running to you, asking what you did and how you need to spray him with it and how he needs to hold you and cuddle you now because he needs to smell it again

when youre gone hes rummaging through your room, endlessly searching for your cologne/perfume, and once he finds it, not only is he going to douse the attic in it, he may slip a teensy bit into his drink... yes hes insane, he wants your essence to be inside him

charges at you and clings because hes in a trance of his own mind, your scent making him intoxicated for you now, hes obsessed with you and everything about you

speaking of this, he begins to notice the even littler details about you, like the hair wash you use or the selfcare/nail polish/clothing type you wear, he gets excited from memorizing every little detail about you

will growl if someone is getting too close to you and complimenting you & your cologne/perfume, even if he cant really be seen with you, he wants and needs everyone to know that hes claimed, and has got you

"Billy's piggy is so intricate... so detailed! Billy just wishes he could live in your skin for a day.. to see what you see!" morbid, yes, but he genuinely wants to see what you see, because if your little details are that impressive to him, he believes that what you choose and do in your ever day life is even better

#slasher #slashers #slasher x reader #slashers x reader #house of 1000 corpses #otis driftwood x reader #otis driftwood #saw #sawposting #amanda young #amanda young x reader #the purge: election year #the purge: anarchy #the purge #leo barnes #vincent sinclair #house of wax #vincent sinclair x reader #friday the 13th #jason vorhees x reader #jason vorhees #billy lenz #billy lenz x reader #black christmas #black christmas 1974 #doomhead #31 #doomhead x reader #leo barnes x reader #the purge anarchy

[maximotts]

hiya motts!

i wanted to share a scenario ive been thinking abt lately,, and it's just where you and wanda build a pillow fort together and just snuggle or read books together inside, i honestly think it's pretty cute and cozy & i couldn't stop thinking abt it recently hshshswhs 💞

anw thx for listening! i hope ure havin a great day <33

(also i was also wondering if i could be 🍊 anon by any chance if thats fine with u !)

HELLO IM HERE WITH THE FIC! Thank you lil orange for this adorable little idea and I'm sorry I've taken so long to reply!! Again this is unedited because I started typing words and didn't stop so uhm.. we'll just go with it

words: 1.5k

wanda maximoff x reader; fluff, just some coziness with our fave post-AoU gal, emo Wanda, pillow forts, mentions of HYDRA/Wanda's sad childhood, crushes no one will admit while Pietro plays the background matchmaker

“I can make whatever fort you want in two seconds, you know? I could build it in front of you even…” Wanda trudged down the stairs with more pillows from who knows where, grabbing as many as she could because you’d insisted on maximum pillowy softness, whatever that meant. 

You popped out with a gasp, your head poking from under a disorderly pile of blankets and couch cushions. “That’s not fun, Wanda! Doing it ourselves is the only way to go.” Wiggling out from under the mess you’d made in the living room, you took some of the pillows from her… only to dump them in a new pile next to your current one. “Gotta stay organized for the build!”

Wanda huffed at the sight, wondering how you were going to make sense of your building materials, if you could really call them that. She let you pull her along, but as you started placing cushions here and there, Wanda just stood still, admittedly lost on how to even start. 

After a few minutes of waiting around, you realized Wanda hadn’t taken even one step and you frowned at her. “It’ll go faster if you help me.”

“I don’t really…” The brunette dropped her eyes to the blankets at her feet, rubbing her arm nervously. She’d never really made blanket forts; they were on TV and she knew the general idea, but growing up orphaned in a war-torn country meant she was lucky if she and Pietro had one single blanket from night to night. With HYDRA, there was no such thing— life was only her cell and the experimentation chamber until she got her powers and once she did, she was watched 24/7, given things to hold only when Strucker was around to instruct her what to do with them. She hadn’t been in America long and after the Ultron incident, she had to keep a low profile which meant going out, making friends, exploring her new surroundings was off limits. 

Pietro was great at making friends with his new teammates, gaining their trust quickly, but Wanda had been in their heads and for that they were rightfully wary. Not mean, but she didn’t get invited to outings nearly as much as her twin— being mostly quiet didn’t help, not when she preferred sitting and watching others instead of taking the leap and joining in. For all her powers, an outgoing nature was not one of them; that was always Pietro’s thing. You were his friend first too, hanging out with him at meals and after missions, but unlike most of the others, you talked to her as well. Even if you found her without her silver-haired brother, you still waved at Wanda or sat next to her and asked about her day.

And so she started gravitating towards you as well, seeking you out if she wanted company or a break from Pietro’s non-stop rambling. Sometimes the two of you were silent and others Wanda opened up, asking you questions about your home or teaching you about hers. That’s how you learned just how little she’d had the opportunity to do and when you’d resolved to give her those experiences, no matter how small. 

Which is also how you’d become familiar with the look Wanda wore now, unsure and retreating in an attempt not to appear upset or uncomfortable.  You weren’t a mind reader, but somehow in your short time together, you’d grown to know her well. “There’s no right way to do it, I promise. Here, you can help me lay the foundation.”

You took her hand and brought her around to the half-constructed ‘foundation,’ a layer of thick couch cushions Wanda recognized from Natasha’s room. “Isn’t she going to miss these?”

“We’re going to give them back. Also, that woman never rests. I doubt she’s ever used that couch,” You shrugged, leaving out the part that this was not your first time taking your teammate’s furniture. Wanda thankfully didn’t argue, instead following your lead and laying out various cushions until it reached out multiple feet from the edge of the couch. “Now, true building begins!”

Wanda helped you arrange stacks of pillows into makeshift walls, drape sheets over sides of the couch, even had the great suggestion of grabbing a long baton from the training room for a true tented feel. She didn’t realize she was smiling until her face hurt, tossing a square pillow at you as you joked about her lopsided drapery skills. “You said there’s no right way! This is my way and I think it looks… just fine!” 

“Right right, we’ll see how long it stays up then.” She finally understood what you meant when you said maximum softness as you started throwing pillow after pillow against the floor of the fort, making such a thick place to lay on, Wanda was afraid she’d never want to get up when she sat down. 

The two of you took a step back to gaze upon your handiwork and truly, Wanda couldn’t help but feel proud at what she’d done. “Building it ourselves was fun.”

You turned to look at Wanda, her small smile as she looked at the fort making your heart swell. Seeing her happy, even if it was just for an afternoon, was always the highlight of your day especially if it was something you’d done together. “Told you so! The most fun part is enjoying the fruits of our labor though,” You grabbed the snacks the two of you had chosen earlier and ducked under the fort cover, settling in with Wanda right on your heels.

She chose to sit right next to you, close enough that she could promptly lean her head on your shoulder. Thankfully Wanda remembered the remote and the movies you’d planned to watch because as she toggled through the various screens, you were still frozen with the shock of her laying against you. She smelled so sweet, you wanted to cry or hug her or anything to keep her close like this forever. So many weeks ago, Wanda made a passing comment on affection, casually mentioning how she valued physical touch in reminding her loved ones that she cares. When you pointed out how little you’d seen her touch anyone, Wanda’s face instantly fell.

My only family is Pietro and the others, well… I don’t think most of them trust me enough to let me close to them, much less touch or hold their hand. 

You’d assured her then you weren’t afraid of her, that you would never shy away from her for something meant to be a kind gesture. She said thank you and that she appreciated your honesty and that was that before she switched to a completely different topic of conversation. Since then, you’d noticed every time Wanda squeezed Pietro’s arm or gave him a hug after returning and while you understood her hesitancy, you found you were a little jealous. You wanted to know what it felt like to be on the receiving end of Wanda’s affection, yearned for it even, but you’d never voice such a thing.

So this, today, whatever resting her head on you meant, you felt as though you could melt right into the floor. Pietro made you swear not to say a word, but learning of how much she talked about you, that she didn’t think you were annoying or pushy, but instead a welcome comfort, was the most pride you’d ever felt in your time being an Avenger. If you could spend the rest of your days showing Wanda your favorite things and helping her find some of her own, you’d be overjoyed. 

“Your thoughts are loud again.” Wanda looked at you quizzically, turning her head to search your expression.

“W-What—” She swore not to read anyone’s mind without permission anymore; but she’d told you if someone thought really intensely, she couldn’t help but sense it. Just like hearing a conversation as you walk down the street, it wasn’t something she could stop. This wasn’t the first time Wanda had called you out for your loud brain, mortifying each time you realized your feelings for her were overwhelming again. 

She never told you what she could hear, scared you might panic if you were aware she could particularly tell whenever your thoughts uttered her name. It was fine, she could wait patiently until you were ready to tell her about your crush yourself and she could say she liked you right back. “If you’re thinking about my side of the fort, don’t. Shut up and watch the movie.”

#🍊 anon. #I hope that this is a fun pillow fort movie night adventure! #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x fem!reader #wanda maximoff x f!reader #wanda maximoff fic #wanda maximoff fluff #wanda maximoff imagine #marvel imagine #maximotts #motts writes.

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Soup is for nerds

WOW ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE DONE ONE OF THESE!!

Welcome back to the Shaw Pack Mates Super top secret and totally unknown by anyone outside of the group groupchat. (Name trademarked by Angel.)

Whether these are real conversations I’ve overheard/seen/partaken in or not is entirely unknown and shall stay that way.

CW: Crack, Angel needs to learn what boundaries are but not in a toxic way, Sam is asking for a god to save him he’s not picky on which god he’ll even rely on science it doesn’t even need to be religious, Sweetheart please for the love of the universe put the cat down, Baabe why are you just sitting there laughing?

Actual CW: Crack, mentions to others being sneaky link/hoes/sluts but in a friendly platonic way, GN listeners. Any reference to gendered terms is purely for the memes and not to be taken seriously.

<-- Previous _______ Next -->

Redacted Masterlist

Angel: im so disappointed in u all

Sam: Oh dear. What’s upset you now?

Angel: is that lip im hearing

Baabe: if my boss finds out im on my phone right now im so dead. so whats wrong bb?

Sweetheart: Tracking down a covert breaker. Cant talk rn.

Sam: Now I’m actually concerned. Is this genuine, or is Angel being Angel again?

Angel: not one of u said ‘congrats on ur nuptials’

Sam: I wasn’t aware anyone called marriage nuptials anymore, but also if I’m not mistaken you two have yet to have your wedding since you both are still planning it?

Baabe: CONGRATS ON YOUR NUPTIALS YOU SILLY GOOSE

Angel: this is why im marrying with baabe

Baabe: LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS

Angel: ooooooo teeaaaaa

Sweetheart: That’s what he said.

Sam: I think one day I will gather the strength to leave this groupchat.

Angel: oh ill just add u back and then kidnap u to drag u to my basement so u cant ever try to leave me again

Sam: Angel what the fuck.

Angel: HE DIDNT USE A COMMA IM THE REAL WINNER HERE

Baabe: to defeat the huns~

Angel: im so upset rn its not even funny like i cant live laugh love under these conditions

Baabe: aweeee what’s wrong bby?

Sam: Is there something I could do to help? I will if I can.

Angel: hang on i gotta wait for sweetheart to respond so i can get all the attention necessary

Sweetheart: Sorry I was just filming a tiktok with Aggro. Whats up

Angel: perfect all my three hoes are here

Sam: I resent being called that, but I also recognize my powerlessness in getting you to change it, so continue.

Angel: do yall even have any clue how expensive it is to buy a mcdonalds bouncy house

Sweetheart: Why are you trying to buy a bouncy house

Baabe: ngl i’m kinda curious about that too

Angel: well i could just buy it because ur bitch is rich rich but i share a joint account with my mega alpha gigachad of a finance so i cant buy it without him noticing but i wanna keep it a surprise so theres just a bouncy house in our backyard when he comes home

Sam: Don’t you mean your ‘fiance’?

Angel: no i mean finance im just with davey for his money but my real loves is my three hoes in this gc

Sweetheart: Youre so romantic Angel

Baabe: ikr? like just marry me already

Angel: anyways this is my way of asking u to buy me a bouncy house who wants the privilege

Angel: DONT JUST LEAVE ME ON READ YOU SLUTS

Angel: SOS

Baabe: whats wrong sneaky link?

Sam: Once again, I am confused whether or not this is a serious thing or Angel is playing up the dramatics again.

Sweetheart: I can send you a picture of my son if that will help

Angel: yes pls i miss my baby boy Angel: and also were out of sugary cereal and davey is making me eat his yucky worm food

Sweetheart: WHY DID YOU WRITE SOS? THIS IS A 911 EMERGENCY!

Baabe: dw bb i got u. just ask him why hes giving you his dog food.

Angel: oooo good idea hell take it away then and tell me to just starve and give me the chance to naruto run to sams house for breaky

Sam: Now hold on just a minute. I don’t recommend doing that Angel, also I don’t need to eat food and Darlin isn’t here for me to have any reason to make breakfast. I think you’ll survive a morning without your cereal.

Angel: YALL HE THREW A PLASTIC SPOON AT ME HALP

Baabe: MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Sweetheart: rip

Angel: You’re next. - David

Baabe: oh fuck

Sweetheart: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Sam: rip

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted shaw pack #redacted mates group chat #redacted mates #redacted david #redacted angel #redacted baabe #redacted asher #redacted milo #redacted sweetheart #redacted sam #redacted darlin #redacted darling #redacted shaw pack mates

[forlorn-crows]

sorry to jump in here very last minute you can just ignore this one if you want but i wanted to share my thoughts on Dewdrop. i keep seeing people say that he shouldnt be characterised as weak or over-emotional and trust me i 100% get it i have read so many fics where he has been made out to be way too angry and snappy and just rude. but also on the flipside i dont think hes the strongest or most well adjusted ghoul in the slightest. if we're going down the route of "Dewdrop has been through a lot of trauma" then i gotta say that trauma does not make you stronger. no matter how much you'd like to think it does it really doesnt. it puts you into survival mode sure but honestly it doesnt give you any advantage over someone else who hasnt been through the same stuff as you. and i dont know if im just projecting my own experiences here (because lets be honest a large amount of hcs are just people projecting so its pretty hard to argue that anyone's "wrong" about anything. and thats not even going into how the only characterizations we have for the ghouls is how they act on stage and different people will interpretate that differently) i definitely see Dew as being kind of a wreck emotionally at first. i think hes definitely healed and moved on and is happy and pretty stable now but also there are times where things do get too much and there have been times where he hasnt been able to cope properly. hes messy and complicated and he is very strong but hes not strong because of his trauma if that makes sense. and hes also soft and caring and sweet too thats an important part of his character too. idk if any of this makes sense ive probably contradicted myself here at one point and i really do respect everyone's hcs and idea but this is just my thoughts on it.

no absolutely, trauma is a nuance in itself. do i think dew is perhaps the most well versed in it? yes, however you want to take that lmao. i think with that experience perhaps he can make himself appear stronger, in order to protect if thats what he feels he has to do.

and yes, thats more of what i was trying to say originally. its not the trauma itself that makes him strong, its everything else he does because of it, in spite of it, etc. it IS messy and complicated, and he has ABSOLUTELY broken down about all these things we hc to have gone through. absolutely.

healing is a very non linear thing, generally speaking. im sure much is the same for fictional ghouls lmao. i bet theres still some really hard days for him, days where all he wants to do is get mad and lash out or curl up into a ball and be alone. maybe resilient is a better word for him. and yeah, he, like many of us, doesnt maybe want to be resilient, he wants bad things to stop happening to him lmao. but hes learned a lot from all those things and from his pack on how to start becoming a stronger person.

#essentially that boy is TRAUMATIZED but hes fuckin trying his best lmao #theres so many different ways hes expressed his reactions to it i bet #ask #anon #thank you for sharing btw!!

[keibea]

Get to Know Me - Sims Style

i was tagged by @amuhav because she loves me and knows i love doing these things

what's your favourite sims death?

ngl i dont actually have one, im terrified of any of my babies dying so they never do...but i guess old age maybe? because that means theyve lived a long life and ive played with them for a long time?

alpha cc or mm?

alpha HANDS DOWN...i dont hate mm by any means dont get me wrong, but ill always be an alpha girl at heart. its the alpha hairs, they always get me.

do you cheat your sims weight?

only if it fits their character i guess? not usually in gameplay.

do you move objects

i move objects every single day.

fave mod?

ooofff i mean out of necessity? nraas. but just the one i love? hands down pose player. mostly because i was so excited when i finally got it to work (i was like 13 or something and before then i could not figure out how to get mods to work) so a lot of happy memories from finally getting my sims to pose.

first expansion/game pack/stuff pack?

my first ever was sims 2 glamour life stuff pack when i was a kid. if we're talking sims 3, i believe the first pack i got was generations, which is still my favourite sims pack ever.

do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?

i pronounce it LIVE, always have as far as i know.

who's your favourite sim that you've made?

well, its gotta be elodie honestly. she and eli are the longest sims i have ever had and i love them both dearly. in the sims 4, its gotta be my girl pippa. before tumblr? i had this family called the moretti's, i miss them and i think about them way too often. i loved them all.

have you made a simself?

oh yeah. loads of times. i think ive shared my sims 3 and sims 4 variations on tumblr (but they look really weird tbh). i love making myself, cause then i can wear all these clothes i cant afford in real life.

favourite ea hair

im with aimee on this one.

im mostly joking, but usually sims 3 hairs are a no go for me, except for some store ones and the hairs that are pulled back into buns always look really nice. for sims 4, only the newer ones. the older ones are not for me.

favourite life stage?

young adult. i feel like you can always do more with young adult sims and you have so much more time (except in sims 1 i believe?and sims 2 only if u went to uni?? idk). 90% of my sims are forever young adults because i love that life stage so much.

are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

mate ive been trying to build for donkeys years to no avail. so im almost always in it for the gameplay.

are you a cc creator?

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BAHAHAHA HA once upon a time bro maybe. your girl tries to be, but uni is a pain in my bottom, and sims 3 loves making my life difficult.

do you have any simblr friends or a sim squad?

somehow i do?? more friends then irl anyway. the girl gang is @thesimperiuscurse , @lazysunjade & @amuhav these 3 have put up with me despite my crazy personality for an incredibly amount of time and i love them all dearly. but i have so many friends on here its crazy (more than 3 people its incredible!). obviously they havent seen my real personality yet. besties include: @catharsim , @plumbobem , @johziii , @rollo-rolls , @moonsonnet , oh gosh im forgetting people I AM SO SORRY I LOVE U ALL SO MUCH

do you have any sims merch?

bro i wish, but no money. spent it all on anno 1800. no regrets.

do you have a youtube for sims?

i believe formally i do, but i dont post anything. i do have some ideas if i ever wanted to, but my adhd brain couldnt cope being consistent so i probably never will.

how has your "sims style" changed throughout your years of playing?

as in sims or gameplay? idk ill talk about both. gameplay wise, not much, except im weirdly a lot more controlling then i was over my sims WHOOPS. but i still cant get passed gen 2 so that hasn't changed. but i still prefer family gameplay, probably always will. and challenges, always challenges. sims wise? a lot.

this is one of the earliest sims i have photo evidence of. this was in 2018 i believe?

whose your favourite cc creator?

the people that are the cause of most of my cc obsession are @kerriganhouse , @rollo-rolls , @johziii , @joojconverts & @martassimsbookcc and probably a few more but mind blank

how long have u had simblr?

since 2020. one of the longest things ive ever committed to.

how do you edit your pictures?

with my blood, sweat and tears. im not joking, a lot of sweat and tears goes on when im editing.

what expansion/gamepack is your faveourite?

of all time? generations, no doubt in my mind. i never had any sims 1 or sims 2 expansions, so i never got to experience those unfortunately. generations was perfection though. i mean, boarding school? lifesaver. also led to the best sims series of all time: lifesimmer's generations. for sims 4 though? probably get together, purely because of the world.

#nonsims #saviourhide #aboutkeibea #jessietalksaboutherselfagain #HELLO #GOODBYE

[hella1975]

I know plenty of people have already talked about that particular line in the last scene of chapter 40 but can I just say thank you for letting kanut be the one to have that moment with Zuko. That genuine moment between these two queer people means so much to me.

As an asexual sapphic I struggle a ton letting these identities coexist. It often feels like I gotta pick and choose between them. So many people have this mentality that people like me are the queer asexuals unlike cis aroace/arohet/acehet folks. Like I'm queer despite my asexuality rather than it being an equal part of my queerness. Reading that conversation I instinctly expected Zuko to realise kanut isn't like him and dismiss that experience and advice as relevant to his situation. But instead you let them relate to each other and I haven't stopped thinking about that.

I went to pride a little over a week ago and found this acearo stand. The guy there told me they had a few WhatsApp groups for aspec people so I gave him my number. I live in a very small country in the Mediterranean basin so there really isn't really an asexual culture here at all. So I thought I'd at least try but I couldn't master up the courage to use the WhatsApp link he sent me. Anyways all that is to say I finally did it today because of this chapter and kanut. Congrats on getting a win over my anxiety.

Completely unrelated the whole thing with Zuko and the flower in his hair hit me so hard as a plus sized person. I've felt so many times in my life I needed to be more masculine and aggressive and to not put any emphasis on my body or my appearance. I know that definitely was not your intention and I'm not even sure if it makes any sense but my ed has been really bad recently and that part made me want to put flowers in my hair and cry in the summer sun.

Sorry if I'm being way too personal with this but that chapter has got me in emotional shambles. So I just wanted to let you know how impactful your writing is. I am never not floored by your insane talent.

asks like this mean the absolute world to me i genuinely treasure them and hold each one so close. im so glad you found something comforting in my writing. it was a personal chapter for me too and it was really important to me that zuko and kanut have that connection where they relate, not see each other as different. idk if it's tiktok or just the internet generation as a whole but there's a really disheartening trend atm of queer identities pitting against each other, competing over who has it worse and sometimes we all just need to step back and remember what unites us. each person has different experiences with their own queerness even if they share a label with someone else. it doesn't need to be a battle and that's what i was trying to show with kanut and zuko and thankfully i think i got that across pretty well based on the overwhelming response ive had from that chapter. it's truly touched my heart so please dont fret about this seeming too personal. you deserve to be recognised and the fact you messaged that group despite your anxiety? knowing i had even a minor part to play in that is going to make me smile for DAYS. i hope they offer you more of a community than what you've received so far. you deserve flowers in your hair xx

#i think it's interesting what you said about letting two identities coexist and the struggle youve had with that #bc!!!! struggling with duality is sort of taob's whole thing!!! and if you couldnt tell my overall message is VERY MUCH #that we should find balance instead of one side trying to dominate the other and being prioritised and deemed more important/better #and i KNOW it's easier said than done i mean it's taken us 300k+ words just to get this far and we're not even there yet #but we will get there one day and it will be worth it and beautiful and one day i know you'll be there too <3 #ask #taob asks

[leafcabbage]

Hi. Heyyy. Hi. Guess who AGAIN LMAO. Firstly thank you for the answers to my asks I will hold them gently and then let them rattle around endlessly in my brain as the Hunger Games AU continues to captivate me…

Onto another question! This one is more of a hypothetical I guess, but I saw that a bit ago when you were talking about the drdi x hunger games lore that you mentioned the possibility of Tubbo thinking Ranboo was dead when the double bombs went off. If that were to happen, and you don’t mind sharing, do you have any fleshed out ideas of that? Like is it similar to THG where Ranboo would be helping out with the injured pekple when the second explosions went off? And survived either with or without injuries. Or was it a “thought they were there but weren’t” situation

hi!!! sorry about the delayed reply! i havent been entirely sure what to say because because im not sure so i will just put my thoughts out here and see if it gets me anywhere lol

so the more i think about it the more i do like the idea of ranboo actually being there. even though ranboo doesnt die, they would definitely be injured again (and jesus christ they've already been through a lot... like they are not recovering from this, and of course that's okay, they'll have support and love and everything, but its a miracle theyre alive and they're gonna have a lot of chronic pain and mobility issues and lasting effects of multiple brain injuries etc). i think them being hurt by it and originally presumed dead is the push tubbo would need to ultimately do what katniss did and kill whoever is in charge of 13 (i think its still gonna be coin, i did talk about how its a crossover and not a whole AU because i dont have enough characters to fit all the parts). but i think its pretty vital to the story that that happens, so i gotta keep it.

i dont think theyre even like, really part of the medical team or anything, theyre just close enough to want to rush in to help, but on the edges enough not to actually get killed. tubbo just sees them like, getting there, then the bombs go off, and it just... doesnt look like they should have survived it. because of the situation, and the fact that he and tommy were also definitely injured to an extent from being close to where the bombs detonated, it takes a while to find out that ranboo did survive it, and the boys are fully grieving ranboo for at least a day, maybe a few with how much of a mess everything is, before being told that they're actually alive and being treated for their injuries (which are extensive).

i guess i came up with an answer while i talked lol, i hope that all makes sense :] thank you for all your asks about the AU ive been enjoying them a lot!!

#cabbage answers #drdi au #drdi hgau #hunger games anon

[flapperwitch]

Hey, hope youre doing good. Ive followed you for a bit and i know youve spoken before about living with endo and chronic pain. For the past 6 months ive been dealing with a shit ton of pain, cramping and i just had a cramp tonight that was super scary. Got super sweaty, shaking and such. Theyre still trying to diagnose me but my gyno doctor thinks its endo. Just wondering if youd feel comfortable sharing your story and such, 100% understand if you would rather not and i hope this isnt an invasive ask. Im just feeling very isolated and alienated with this pain. Thanks for taking the time to read this and i hope youre doing well!

Hi! This is not intrusive at all, and I'm sorry for not answering this sooner. Life is very weird.

I'm so sorry that you feel isolated but I completely understand why you do. You're in bed, in pain or asleep, so often. No one can see the agony your body is feeling. More than anything I want you to know that you're not overreacting. You're not crazy, you're not weak. I've passed out from pain before. It's no joke. The short version of my story is that like most others, it took years for me to get a diagnosis. And I wasn't hiding anything. Doctors thought my fatigue and pain was being exaggerated by my depression, but in reality I was depressed because I was so sore and tired and couldn't figure out why. Therapy and meds weren't doing anything. One time a nurse practioner told me that even though I tested negative for a UTI and even though I didn't have any of the symptoms, that had to be what my problem was. She gave me antibiotics and sent me home. Another time I was telling my then OBGYN that I was always tired and in so much pain and asked if there was anything else we could do and he smiled and said "Nope!" Mother fucker smiled at me and my pain. It wasn't until I sat for hours in an emergency room (because the hospital near me wouldn't let me admit myself or see a doctor right away) that my dad called me and convinced me to go home, told me he believed me, and that we'd figure it out together. I then went to see a colleague of my OBGYN and right away she knew that something was wrong. She did go on to say she thought I had endo, and we set up surgery. But the way she presented it, endometriosis was a blip, a pain that could be fixed with surgery, and then cured. It wasn't until after and I continued to do my own research that I learned it was a lifetime diagnosis.

Invisible illnesses suck. No one can see just how shitty you feel. And when you feel shitty and tired, you can't see people as much, so you end up spending so much of your time alone in bed with your heating pad and pain meds. Luckily se live in the age of the internet. Find online communities. I personally am in two endometriosis groups on Facebook, one is support, one is all jokes and memes. It's great when you can joke with people experiencing the exact same thing. Also make more plans virtual. I love doing virtual movie nights with friends, and you can screenshare through hyperbeam or discord. Also, treat yo self. Some days when I feel my internal organs being glued together by this dumb disease, I make myself toast with cookie butter and a banana and pour myself a cup of milk, and just that simple meal makes me feel better for a bit.

Always feel free to come ask me about endo and chronic pain. Chronic illness survivors gotta look out for each other 💜 You got this

#asks #pretzel-face

[noodledesk]

hi! ive been reading your dessin newsletter and i find it so inspiring and ultimately it made me think about why do i feel the need to define myself as an artist and how lately i just have feel like an impostor because its been so long since i painted or written anything. i think i need some kind of routine to keep art as a part of my identity because i have felt a little lost lately, idk. and you see idk if i should think of art that way, as something i want to keep to myself, as smething i should perform. sorry im a mess i just been confused this days and i wonder if you got any tips around this kind of stuff. sending you all the good vibes

hi! i appreciate you sending this ask and i'm happy to hear you are reading my tiny newsletter... <3

honestly i started it because i was feeling really lost and weird and avoidant about making art (specifically drawing), so i wanted a space where i could work through and process and think about those feelings. it's also turned into a place where i can think about the other ways i like to be creative, which i didn't imagine and which i am grateful for.

that being said, the questions you're thinking about - wanting to keep art as part of your identity, what makes art part of your identity, is it something private or something to share, etc. those are all things i puzzle about too. honestly i have no real answers!

what i can do is tell you a little bit about where i am right now, if that helps...while i do really agree with what bjork says about creativity being this thing you shouldn't try to force or corner or be harsh to and to seek it out in new and imaginative places, i also believe that it's something you gotta practice. esp if there are skills you want to get better at. and i found that by making art into a habit i can keep track of every day, i can encourage myself to clock in and make something. having structure makes it easier for me to get over that hurdle of deciding to make something each day, which helps me a lot. making space to make art has ended up being important to me, even if i don't make anything i like that day. i still made something.

on identity - honestly recently i've just started to think of myself as like, a drawing enjoyer, or an art enjoyer. or just someone who keeps an art diary. not exactly an artist. i think it might be because i think a lot about semantics (unfortunately), but it helps take the pressure off. my expectations for myself as an 'art enjoyer' are way gentler than my expectations for myself as an 'artist'. it's weird, but making that part of my identity less intense makes me create more!

on performance + privacy - i used to spend a lot of time trying to make stuff on instagram and for instagram. it was messing with my head because i was always making stuff with consumption in mind. not that it's bad to have an audience in mind, but i was unable to manage that relationship without constantly thinking, would this do well on the platform? is this shareable? am i coming across as shareable? just, stuff that was making it hard for me to just focus on me and drawing, or me and writing. not what i wanted at all! and once i stopped using instagram, and spent that free time reading more, i started realizing there was a lot of mystery and imagination that comes from having privacy that really helped me form a healthier relationship with making stuff. and also helped me get better because i had more bandwidth to practice! so... it's really up to you. it can be wonderful to engage in a community of artists + art enjoyers. but you don't have to do it 24/7, and current platforms make it difficult not to do that. so i decided to opt out indefinitely.

anyway.... that's all i got for now. i hope it helps. thank u for sending a message <3

#ask #anon #art #advice #dessin

[red-dyed-sarumane]

hi hi hi hi this will be long sorry sorry but your post got me thinking about my own experience with sleep paralysis and i thought i’d share with the class even though its kinda mediocre at best (especally compared to urs asdfghfdgs cyan is terrifying) but anyways, back in 2018 or 2019 donno which i had sleep paralysis for a week straight and only knew what it was bc i had someone describe to me what it was like a few years before who had these really creepy paralysis demons and was adamant on teaching me how to snap out of it if it happened which was something like…focusing on jerking my arm away from body (it worked i think?) what that person didnt know was that i was secretly like ooooo?? i want paralysis demon gimmie i love horror even though i dont consume it. (lies) anyways back to my time on day one sleep paralysis i was like oh? chest heavy, feel sluggish, cant move, sense of impending doom? gotta be the sleep paralysis. so i lay there and wonder WHERS MY DEMON??? and i look around my room practically begging for something to come so i can have my very own demon guy and when i looked at the ceiling all i got was a eeby beeby normal black spider to which i screamed in my mind something like SPDER? THATS WHAT YOU GOT FOR ME? UR NOT REAL *proceeds to curse fake spider im so sorry* and i snaped out of it from the sheer disappointment. like. the experience wasn’t good in general bc when it happens i feel like ohh no im gonna DIE get me OUT but im very curious and wanted to SEE a real demon ok its not the same when im normal asleep but but i think wanting this made me not see anything since for the rest of that week all i got was a whole lot of nothing and anxiety in the morning until the last day my brain felt pitty i guess and finally gave me my demon which i dubbed wolf because…it was just a wolf. a really derpy wolf that was like a reverse shadow puppet since it was made from the light coming from my window. and he was not scary except the eyes, maybe. he just kinda stared at me from the wall then grined and gave a little wave while attempting to speak to me but like kinda creepy from how he moved like a limp muppet?????? uhh anyways at first i was like hehe funny but then i was like get me out of this NOW and i started attempting the arm movments and the last thing i saw before it was over was wolf giving a frown asdfsgdhjfdhsgafd ANYWAYS ANYWAYS i never had them since. i think ive been banned.

this is as close as i can remember it was like minus chat bubbles:

snapping out of it from sheer disappointment is kind of funny sorry. power move almost. for the whole week tho? that really mustve sucked. ur wolf is kinda cute tho thank u for sharing

#asks #kukiyuuri #mine was scary in the moment but the more i think about it it was really neat. idk #i dont even know how i snapped out of mine i think i forced myself back to sleep for 5 min just so i wouldnt have to look at it anymore

[feathers-and-fisticuffs]

*gently bumping into you while on a roomba* hello! Greetings! I'm back with a new Compliment Sunday! It's the mid summer cleaning special! Time to get rid of all the bad thoughts bringing you down! No more bad! Only good thoughts spark joy! So go run your brain under some warm tap water and make sure to scrub real good with some dish soap or whatever you normally use for cleaning stuff. And if you feel like it go put it in the dryer for a spin. So it gets real warm and cozy for when you put in back in your head. Anyway that's all I got Bye!💚🌱

Today is a good brain day, I wore a feminine sweater and it didn't make me want to die and someone even told me I gave them gender envy so?? I'm one step closer to being the Femboy I was meant to be...

#my face #sorry gotta share because ive been thinking about that all day #me? #giving someone gender envy? #who would have thought...

[angstysebfan]

The Past Can Break You - 2

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

AU: Avengers

Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for aa few years. As far as you’re concerned he is the one. But what happens when a blast from the actual past shows up?

A/N: Ive seen a lot stories of Bucky getting his first love from the 40′s back. And I’ve always wondered... what would happen if he was dating someone already? Reader is from this time. Not proofread.

Warning: Smut 18+ only please

--

When Bucky made it up to your shared room he slowly and silently opened the door. You were sitting on your bed, your back facing the door, but he could tell you were crying by the shaking of your shoulders. It broke his heart to see you so upset.

He closed the door behind him and walked over to sit next to you. He wrapped his metal arm around your waist and pulled you into his embrace. You then openly sobbed into his chest. Bucky caressed your back and kissed you on the head, allowing you to cry.

When you started to calm down you sighed deeply, sniffed, and said, “Are you going to break up with me now?”

Bucky’s heart completely broke. He put his finger under your chin, forcing you to look at him. “No, baby. Of course not. I love you. I love you so much! Why would you think that?” He asks.

“Because before we started dating you told me about Dot and how much she meant to you. You were going to propose when you got home from the war. Well here is your chance to live the life you wanted with the girl you wanted,” you say as tears again start to leak from your eyes.

“Baby, I’m not the same man I was then. Yes, I still have love for Dot, but I’m so madly in love with you. I promise,” he said, kissing your forehead, nose, and then lips.

“I’m going to help Dot become acclimated to the world now, and help her settle. But I promise I will always be here for you, ok?” He asks.

You nod, feeling slightly better. “I love you,” you say.

“I love you too. I’ve gotta get down to the lab. I promised Dot I would be down there with her. But I won’t be long,” he says before kissing you again and then leaving.

You sit and wait for him, hoping it wouldn’t take too long. But after 4 hours you give up on him and go to sleep. You hope that he will keep his word on still loving you. You don’t want to lose him. You love him too much.

- -

1 month later

Over the last several weeks, you’ve only seen Bucky’s about a handful of times. He’s always off with Dot, helping her learn the ways of today, and helping her deal with her “trauma”. Every time he tries to give you a little time she always calls for him saying how upset she is or that she’s about to have a panic attack. You try and be understanding but at the same time it’s really starting to annoy you.

One of the worst things is that he barely even sleeps with you anymore. This morning you woke up to an empty bed, yet again, and head downstairs for breakfast. When you got down to the common room you heard the sound of Dot’s giggles and saw her sitting on the couch with Bucky, her feet on his lap. At that point you lost your appetite, so you went up to the roof instead.

After an hour you hear the door to the roof open as you’re staring off into the distance. You feel arms wrapped around your waist as a stubble chin rest on your shoulder. You decide to ignore him and continue staring off into the distance and several thoughts past of your mind.

“Was looking for you,” Bucky said as he kissed your shoulder. “Why you up here all alone?”

You sigh, “well I’m used to being alone a lot these days. And I guess I didn’t feel like sitting there watching you and Dot flirt in the common room,“ you say annoyed.

You hear him sigh behind you as he puts his forehead on your shoulder. “I know, and I’m so sorry that I haven’t been around much. I’m just trying to do my best to help her,” He said.

“I promise I’ll try and do better at managing my time so that I can spend more time with my girl,“ he says as he kisses the back of your head and trails kisses all the way down to your neck.

He turns you around in his arms and rests his forehead on yours. Before you know it you are both swaying to no music, until Bucky starts singing your song. You wrap your arms around his neck as you both slow dance to your song as Bucky sings. When he finishes you kiss him passionately.

“Tonight we will have date night. No Dot, no interruptions, just you, me, and that new lingerie you bought a few weeks ago,” he says as he continues to sway you.

You smile widely at the thought of spending a night alone with your boyfriend. “Oh Bucky, that sounds amazing! I’ve missed you so much, and I get what your doing, but it’s hard,” you say.

“I know. I’ve been neglecting you and it ends now. You are my priority, not Dot. And I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you. Tonight,” he says.

You kiss him in reply.

- -

Later that night, after dinner and another bout of dancing, you come out of the bathroom with your new lingerie set. You stand in the doorway staring at your half naked boyfriend. Bucky’s eyes darken with lust as he starts to stalk towards you like a lion about to pounce.

“You look good enough to eat, baby,” he says huskily. He then pulls you into his arms with a searing kiss.

He leads you to the bed and throws you on it, before jumping on top, connecting your lips again. His hand travels down to your core and he moves your panties to the side, putting pressure on your clit. He starts rubbing at an intensely fast pace, making you lose your breath. Very quickly he pulls your first orgasm from you.

Before you come back to earth you feel your new panties being ripped from you, as well as the bra. Bucky loved to rip your underwear all the time. He kissed his way down your stomach to your wet core and dove in. Your back arched off the bed.

“Oh my god, Bucky!” You moaned as your hand pulled his hair.

He then stuck two metal fingers into you and started pumping. You knew it wouldn’t be long now. You couldn’t stand the amazing sensation of his fingers and tongue. You started to feel the build up of pressure in your belly.

“Bucky! I’m going to cum,” you cry as you again orgasm on his face.

After a moment Bucky kisses his way back up your lips. You taste yourself on his tongue, which makes you wetter, if that’s possible. “You are the best thing I have ever tasted, Doll. Truly exquisite,” he says.

He then pulls off his pants and boxers before lining up with you. He slowly starts to push in, which feels amazing. After a moment he completely bottoms out in you. He kissed you, and just as he is about to thrust, you are both interrupted by FRIDAY.

“Sergeant Barnes, Ms. Jones is requesting to see you sir,” she says.

Bucky groans into your neck, “Tell her I’m busy and we’ll talk in the morning,” he says.

“I’m sorry sir, but she appears to be having a panic attack and having trouble breathing,” FRIDAY says.

“Shit,” Bucky says as he pulls out of you and grabs his sweats. He looks at you guiltily, “I’m sorry. I’ll be back in 10 minutes tops, and then we can finish what we started,” he says before running out the door.

You stare at the door as it closes in shock. He just left you in the middle of sex for his ex. What the hell! You lay there and wait, but after 2 hours you decide to get dressed in sweats and a t-shirt. You take your ruined lingerie and throw it out. You lay back on your bed thinking about how you will have a stern discussion when he comes back.

Before you know it, another 2 hours go by and it’s the middle of the night. You’re more than angry, now you are hurt. You grab your pillow and your blanket and leave your shared room with Bucky, and head to your old room. After locking the door, you inform FRIDAY not to let anyone, especially Bucky in. You climb into bed and allow a few tears before falling asleep.

- -

Bucky woke up the next morning disoriented. When he realized he was still in Dot’s room he panicked. After he finally got Dot to calm down last night he went to leave but Dot begged him to stay until she fell asleep. He must have dozed off too. He quickly got out of the bed and quietly exited the room.

Steve was coming down the hall and saw Bucky’s coming out of Dot’s room. “ why are you in Dot‘s room?” Steve asked.

“She had a panic attack last night and I came to calm her down and fell asleep. Y/N is going to be so pissed at me,” Bucky said.

“Wasn’t last night date night?” Steve asked.

Bucky nodded, “Yea and Dot interrupted right in the middle of sex. I left Y/N there naked on the bed like a jackass,” Bucky said angrily.

“You left her in the middle of sex to deal for your ex!? Why didn’t you ask me to deal with it?” Steve yelled.

“I don’t know. Dot says she only feel comfortable with me. I’m just trying to help her. But I’m going to lose my girl in the process. I’ll talk to Dot later about it, but things have to change. I can’t keep ignoring my girl,” Bucky said.

Steve nodded, “Yeah, we’ll good luck with talking to her after last night,” he said before slapping Bucky’s shoulder and leaving.

Bucky sighed and went to your shared room, only to see that you weren’t there. He checked the kitchen, common room, roof, gym, and lab but couldn’t find you. The last place he went was to your old bedroom. He found the door locked, which told him he found you.

“FRIDAY, can you please open the door?” He asked the AI.

“I’m sorry Sergeant Barnes. But I was requested by Agent Y/L/N to not let anyone, especially you in,” FRIDAY said.

Bucky’s heart dropped. He really messed up.

- -

Chapter 1 / Chapter 3

A lot happening in this chapter. Bucky being stupid, but at least he is aware. Now can he fix it? will the reader let him? And what else will Dot do? Feedback is appreciated!

Permanent Taglist:  @hailmary-yramliah @tuiccim @comedictragedy @cap-n-stuff @thefridgeismybestie @swiftmind @aleaisntcreative @lookiamtrying @pinknerdpanda @morganclaire4 @iamvalentinaconstanza @verygraphicink @im-squished @joannie95 @peace-love-hobbitness @connie326 @amandamdiehl @harrysthiccthighss @its-izzys @roserose26 @rebekahdawkins @elegantobservationstudentsblog @broco8 @shinykoalacat @white-wolf1940 @jessyballet

Story Taglist: @afuckingshituniverse @wintrfld 

#bucky #Bucky Barnes #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #Bucky angst #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes angst #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x dot

[reidsnose]

cosmically connected

overview: spencer has a sudden realization after having a conversation with you

genre: F L U F F

a/n: i just think this one is super cute hehe also it takes place like at the end of the work day and half the team has already gone home lmao

masterlist

"you really don't believe in soulmates?" Garcia pressed on.

"I'm a man of science! and science says no" Reid retorted.

"actually, science man, science says yes," you butted in, as you stopped packing up your things, pushing yourself off your desk in your spinnie chair to be nearer to them.

Reid turned in his chair to see the newcomer, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding when you smiled at him.

"is that so?" he teased, cocking an eyebrow.

you loved when you had a bit of attitude with each other. a cocky side of Spencer wasn't a common occurrence, so when it appeared you felt your cheeks grow red.

"oh! y/n you told me about this the other day! i said you sounded just like boy genius remember!" Garcia giggled, shaking her hands in excitement.

"yeah i remember." you laughed.

"can you tell me!" Reid feigned exasperation as he grew inpatient.

"relax! I'm about to!" you chuckled before continuing. "basically, when the big bang, or whatever caused the creation of the universe happened, there was all sorts of molecules and space dust that was together at one point that broke apart. do you agree?"

"yes." he answered cautiously.

"and in the whole universe is made of those particles?"

"mhm."

"im gonna stop calling them particles because i hate that word so im saying space dust. but in that case, humans are made of said space dust?"

"hmm... yeah thats correct."

"so two people could be made of the same space dust that was once whole?"

"i-yeah i guess you could say that."

"in that case, these two are cosmically connected then. bound together from the beginning by the beginning. in other words:" you wiggled your fingers as some sort of tiny 'ta-da' for dramatic effect, "soulmates!"

Spencer's mouth opened. and then closed. and then opened again, but then closed back up.

"he's speechless! you left the resident genius speechless! and you proved him wrong!" Garcia chirped, flashing and award winning smile to you.

you looked at Spencer, watching the wheels turn in his head. never in your life had you met a person quite like him. you loved watching him just exist, everything he did brought a blush to your cheeks. your felt embarrassed to crush so hard on a coworker, but you were convinced he didn't feel the same so it didn't really matter. you enjoyed adoring him from afar if it meant you could at least be his friend.

"i cant believe it." he stated simply, looking into your eyes and feeling as though he'd been electrocuted. in a good way.

you giggled looking down for a moment, afraid to keep eye contact for too long.

"what do you say braniac? did i convince you?" you asked, looking back up to meet his gaze.

the way you looked at him, Spencer was sure he would melt. you gave him a sly smile as you awaited a response, and he felt his heart rate quicken. every moment the two of you had ever shared together flashed through his mind and he was hit with a sudden realization.

"soulmates are real." he confirmed, cracking a goofy smile.

but he didn't come to that conclusion because of your scientific explanation.

it was because in that moment, he was sure he had found his soulmate. you.

"yes!" you exclaimed and interrupted his thoughts, spinning around in your chair and tapping excitedly on his desk.

"science said soulmates! science said soulmates!" Garcia said in a sing song voice, pushing you around the bullpen in her office chair.

Spencer couldn't help but laugh as he watched the scene unfold before him.

"when are you going to tell her?" morgan asked, clapping the younger boy lightly on the shoulder.

"i dont know. never? and maybe not even then." he responded much too quickly, feeling embarrassed at his crush.

"come on man! you're a profiler you gotta know shes into you!"

"except for the part where she isnt."

"i cant wait to say i told you so."

"youll be waiting a while."

"ah but not forever, pretty boy. not forever!" morgan laughed before walking out of the bullpen with garcia.

Reid scoffed lightly and rolled his eyes, though a smile tugged at his lips at the idea of you liking him back.

"aw man!" you cursed at you phone, after standing up from your desk with your bag in your hand.

"whats wrong?" he inquired, hands gripping his satchel as he walked through the now nearly empty bullpen to your desk.

"my friends had to cancel plans," you sighed, setting your phone down.

"oh im sorry. is there anything i can do?" he asked politely, making your heart flutter as you walked towards the elevators.

"no not really, i just need to figure out what to do with all the cookies i baked them." you joked, trying to bring light to your slowly dimming mood.

"i can help you eat them. we could watch a movie, or i could read to you." he offered, cheeks glowing a soft red under the streetlight.

"i think that sounds perfect," you smiled, a sudden flush filling your chest. "you wanna just ride with me?" you offered, opening your car door.

"yeah sure." he agreed, smiling softly.

"so," you began as you pulled out of the parking lot.

"so," he chuckled.

"do you really believe in soulmates now?" you asked, curious on how you were able to convince him so quickly.

his heart thumped wildly in his chest, "yes. i think ive met mine."

you felt your face fall but only for a second, forcing yourself to be happy for him, "aww, whats her name."

"y/n." he answered, nearly causing you to crash the car.

you swerved to the edge of the road and pulled over.

"what?" you questioned, breathless from the sudden news.

"i said her name name is y/n." he said nervously.

"im so glad you said that because im positive mine is named spencer." you smiled, feeling a sort of warmth spread through your body that you had never felt before.

he smiled a wide, goofy grin before placing a soft kiss to your lips which you gladly returned.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x reader #spencer #reid #bau #cm #morgan #derek morgan #agent morgan #garcia #penelope garcia #soulmates

[warmau]

☆ [nostalgic] summer romance!au ten another late birthday au (again) but hey ten time :3 find others here: johnny | haechan | taeil | taeyong | mark | jaemin | yangyang | yuta | sicheng | chenle | kun | yukhei | doyoung | jaehyun | jungwoo

not knowing what to say isn't a foreign feeling to you, yet when you come face to face with ten outside his apartment on this summer morning, you are almost too petrified to even string a sentence together

he's really just........leaving

ten shines a big smile and from the open door you hear kun's exasperated voice asking why in the world ten is packing up his entire existence for a program that's going to last two months

"you look nervous"

ten jokes first, running a hand through his dark hair which he's spent the colder months growing out

"im the one going to a different country and yet you look like you might turn green"

his laughter tickles you and you force yourself out of the weird, frozen feeling, for his sake

"im not nervous - it's just this is our first summer apart since what, highschool?"

ten leans against the frame of his door and lets kun scuttle past him with a scowl

yangyang and hendery bounce after him with ten's insane amount of luggage

"yeah but it's two months, not two decades. plus....you know how much ive always wanted to do this."

right. and here you are being selfish.

"of course, i mean it's literally the birthplace of ballet."

"technically that's italy, but france is a close second."

"i hate you"

ten pulls you into his arms before you register that this is your goodbye hug

"i'll miss you too."

kun drives everyone to the airport, he complains and cries the most.

sicheng gives you a knowing look when ten takes your wrist in his hand and tucks your arm between his.

you ignore the look, and focus on ten. on him. and then - when the switchboard pops up his flight info - he gives a bubbly and excited

"ive gotta go!"

and then summer starts, just as he's gone

"so when are you going to tell him you're in love with him."

sicheng brings the big gulp he stole from hendery up to his lips and you keep your eyes closed behind your sunglasses

"sorry, yukhei's not my type."

"you know im not talking about yukhei."

you dig your fingers into the sand beside your towel, the beach is already so noisy so you pretend you don't hear sicheng, but you still feel him looking.

you guess a part of it is true, you love ten. who doesn't?

is that the core of the issue then, that ten is so available and loveable and charming, that it makes him also unattainable?

or at least, unattainable to you.

you hear your phone buzz inside your bag and sicheng is being dragged into the water by the rowdy rest of your friend group

it could be a text from ten?

your mind excites, but you put out that fire

it's probably just spam.

ten does text and even video call the first two or so weeks while he's away

you get blurry photos of food at cafes and the eiffel tower, random fancy looking dogs being walked on the small, cramped streets

ten's connection is kind of bad - but he still gleams through the fuzzy facetime camera as he shows you around the room the dance academy has provided

pangs of his happiness and excitement seep into you

and then there's the first sign of worry comes knocking and twirling through his door

a group of other dancers, all beautiful and strong, asking ten - from the limited amount of french you catch - if he's done, they're waiting for him to go to a show with them

ten gives you a scattered, quick goodbye. he says he'll video call again.

all you get is an update text almost five days later that has no pictures attached just a;

im ok - by the way i totally miss eating hot chips with you at midnight. ive had like a banana smoothie and that's it.

sicheng and kun are the first to pick up on the shift, you are quietly withdrawing to yourself

nothing makes you laugh

ten doesn't reply to your question about what the paris metro looks like, actually he doesn't even read it

kun nearly tugs hendery's ear red when he shares a snap story of ten pressed cheek to cheek with his new dancer friends in front of the louvre when you're in the same room

the thing is you are not jealous of any of them.

you don't go around trying to find their facebooks, clicking on their instagram profiles, comparing you and them.

you are just sad to your bones that they will understand ten in such a way that no matter how long you two have been friends

you will never, truly know

"you're his best friend"

sicheng reasons on the phone as you stare up at the wall above your desk, littered in old pictures and clippings and your gaze catches on the ticket stub from ten's first-ever solo dance performance

it had been a talent show in highschool.

it had been the first time you saw ten perform outside the corner of his cramped bedroom or the glimpse you caught meeting up with him outside the dance academy

he's in paris, he's with people who love it so much more than i do - they love dancing like he loves dancing.

i cannot understand that.

"i think you were right sicheng."

"im always right."

i do love him. when am i going to tell him?

you hang up after sicheng has his i told you so moment and stare at your screen

a notification flashes across the screen and it's a text from ten

the trains here are blue. i miss you.

you want to reply right away, so you open the message and start typing

i miss you too. actually, i think i finally understand why people who are in love are so hurt when they're suddenly left without their other half and ten you are my o-

you delete the sentence and make a face

nice. i miss you too.

you don't send it - or at least you forget to because your fingers are shaking and you exit out of the messaging app before checking

abandoning your phone, you turn on your side and stretch your hand out to reach the edge of the bed

there's enough space between you and it for someone to fit, so you remember the countless times ten has laid there

smiling and laughing and tickling your face with his sleeping breath

you can't even recall a conversation because there have been hundreds

suddenly you feel a warmth creep up your skin

hundreds of opportunities to tell him - and each time i chose to be a coward.

"you should write him a letter."

"this isn't a movie, what - you think im going to write a letter and he'll jump on the first plane from france to come to my side?"

sicheng cocks an eyebrow as if to say it is a possibility

"no. im not writing a letter. i'll suck it up and confess when he comes back."

you somehow end up writing a letter.

maybe because you really do want to just send a long text spilling your mushy, soft, pink feelings

but you know that's just not what ten deserves

he deserves (and you do too, but you won't admit this) a face to face confession

so you start retelling the moments that flutter up in your heart whenever you think about him

how he makes the room brighter when he's in it, how he dances with every bone, joint, muscle in his body - how he approaches it with no inhibition and true devotion that paints its way across his face when he practices, how he fits perfectly into the hole that grows more massive every day you don't see him

standing there across the hall - coffee in hand, gym bag with his scuffed dance shoes

by the time you're finished - the letter is longer than you imagine. there are parts crossed and scribbled out, repetitive thoughts, and stupid little comments and metaphors that compare ten to flowers or clouds or anything else pretty in nature

you cringe at yourself, but you do feel better

it could be your outline for when the time to actually tell him comes.

you shove the papers into an envelope, write ten's name and the address of his parisian dance academy just for the irony

and then make the mistake of letting it sit on your desk

in a matter of days, it has been swallowed by a bunch of other papers and trinkets

and when you're rushing around your room trying to get ready for another adventure to the beach - sicheng clinks the lollipop against his teeth and fishes it out - curious at the stamp

"do you want me to mail this?"

he asks and you're trying to find those sunglasses you literally just bought and grumble that sure, whatever - you'll meet him out by kun's car.

halfway to the beach, you turn in horror from the passenger seat to look at sicheng in the back

your eyes like saucers and a tremor in a voice

"wait. what did you ask me back in my room?"

sicheng's big smile is red from the candy, "your letter to ten."

and there comes the second pang of dread and worry that takes the overwhelming shape of your summer

oh my god - oh my god - maybe the letter won't even make it. i mean it's a letter to france....it'll take at least a month to get there. wait - it probably didn't even have a stamp on it. oh god maybe the address was totally off and some poor stranger is about to be subjected to my very incoherent feelings.....

every day you look at your phone and there's no texts or emails or anything from ten

his social media has gone quiet too

you throw your dignity down a well and ask all your friends if they've heard from him and they all scratch their heads and say no, it's been maybe a week since they did

your stress then turns from your love letter to a possibility that ten is in trouble

he kind of thrives from attention so it is very weird that he's so off-grid

you decide finally, on the day that it's been exactly a month and one day since he was gone, to call

you hover over the facetime button - should i text him first?

with a yelp, you nearly drop and crack your screen when ten's name flashes across the screen

you settle your breathing and tell yourself he hasn't gotten the letter, there's no way - since when has snail mail been efficient?

you answer and are about to ask what's up when ten waves something into the camera

"i got your letter."

maybe you go into rigor. because ten's eyebrows knit and he asks if your connection is ok, you aren't saying anything

you don't know if it's just because you miss him so much that you're able to drag yourself back into consciousness or because you are curious, in the depths of your mind, what his reaction will be

"o-oh. right- i-"

ten frowns and you think it's coming. the rejection is coming.

"is that why you didn't answer my text? you sent the letter instead?"

"your text?"

"yeah, i said i missed you and you read it and never responded."

a peek of a smile stretches on his pretty, bare face

"i never thought you were so romantic to send a letter."

something burns on your skin but you just try to make sure your hand holding the phone doesn't shake

"im not - i just, it was dumb sicheng said i should write it because - i don't know. he's the romantic, blame him."

"you're the one that said i could make a shy tulip open its petals with my laughter."

"oh god"

that smile turns into a grin

"and that my dancing manages to cast a spell on you."

you hide your expression by turning your face

"are you going to re-read the whole thing to me?"

"should i, you're so poetic."

"don't make fun of me."

your voice is serious this time, small and huddled, because you mean it

worse than being told he doesn't feel the same is to be ridiculed for holding him in your heart like this for so long

"im not making fun of you, the letter is beautiful."

you still can't look at him, it's so ten to be kind before he's cruel

"i could never write something like that - so i thought i would just call you and say it."

you don't need to love song yourself into telling me you just see me as a friend

"i love you."

your head whips back so fast your phone drops and you curse and ten can't help but laugh

"sorry, sorry -what did you say?"

he runs a hand through his dark hair, the lighting in his room is dim and illuminates him perfectly

a large white t-shirt engulfs his slender shoulders as he sits up against the wall

"i love you. i know it's corny to confess over facetime, but im guessing it's more forgivable than text?"

a bubble bursts in your stomach and it makes you feel lightheaded and inhumanely blissful all at once

"i love you too."

"more then friends right, because your letter had this part about kissing im very interested in."

you bite back your lip and nod, both embarrassed that he'd bring that part up too but also seeing ten - your close friend, your secret love - talk about kissing you

makes some of the neurons in your body go haywire

"good, i seriously was scared you might have been pranking me with thi-"

"i would never. im not hendery."

"oh how are they, ive been super busy with the practice for a review so i haven't talked to anyone."

another thing you love about him, he keeps everyone in. he leaves none of his friends behind. he pretends like he couldn't have a care in the world, but he cares more than anyone else.

"he's ok, he almost crashed kun's car yesterday."

ten shrugs, "expected."

and like that - everything is still somehow the same. there is no awkward phase after you've talked about your feelings for each other at all.

because your love doesn't come as a one hit punch because ten is beautiful, although he is to an unfair degree

it comes from the experience of being around him. having so much of him. maybe even getting a little addicted.

you do talk more on the phone, no more long pauses even though ten's practices get more grueling and you tell him to take his time to rest

but he's sweaty on the practice room floor - texting you - telling you everything is sore but the thought of seeing you soon makes it all better

it's three days before ten is scheduled to fly back that he has his review and you are biting your fingernails waiting for him to tell you about it

when you get a youtube link at like three in the morning - you click it and someone has recorded ten's performance

somehow, he looks more graceful than you've ever seen him

a new text comes in when it's almost done

'i think i did well - can i get a reward?'

'you'll get a really good one when you're home'

he sends a winking emoji and you can't fall asleep after because you wonder what he's expecting, you'd meant a kiss - had he meant more?

you wouldn't mind that at all.

xiaojun is being pulled away from the conveyer belt by kun and hendery is asking sicheng for a sip of his starbucks as you all wait for ten's plane to land in the airport lobby

you two have not told anyone - mostly because you know there will be endless questions you won't have answers too and sicheng might literally never let you live it down

so you wait for ten to be here so you can suffer together

you see the gates from his flight open and sicheng mutters that you look like you're going to pop like a goddamn balloon

for once in your life, you don't snide back at him, folding your hands in front of you and tippy-toeing to see over the crowd

and then, like seeing him for the first time all the years ago when you first met, ten comes out

hendery and xiaojun try to go for a running jump, but the older members hold them back because everyone can sense whats coming

you dash toward him and ten doesn't stay still either - you two collide so hard it almost hurts, but you don't care at all

ten's duffel bag falls over his shoulder and your hands are wrapped around his neck before he can even say your name

it's a first kiss that couldn't be more characteristically fit for you

sweet, big smiles tasted on lips, and interrupted by none other than your group of friends gasping in a symphony of shock

except for sicheng - he knew

ten tastes like you imagine he would taste, maybe because in smaller ways you've already had doses of the sunshine that radiates off him before

he keeps his hands wrapped around your waist as he looks down into your eyes

"mon amour"

"is that really all you learned in france?"

"ummm yeah, i don't know how to say let's get out of here and back to my place even though im pretty sure someone said that to me at some point."

you pout, "don't try to make me jealous."

"never!"

ten chuckles as you press your face into his neck and hug him close

the only way you get pulled apart is because someone (kun) reminds you all you're still at the PUBLIC airport

the drive back is a frenzy and everyone wants to know everything and not about just you two - because you're "two" now - but about france and traveling and ten's dancing

like you'd sensed - nothing has really changed

just this time, your fingers are locked in tens. and the warmth you longed for in silence is suddenly all out in the open.

funnily enough, you and ten don't ever write letters to each other again.

ten just doesn't like writing - it takes too much sitting down

and you are horrified everytime he fishes your love confession out of the memory box and dangles it above your head as leverage

it's how he convinced you into adopting the first cat. now you two have three.

so when you and him are deciding the best way to let all your friends know about your upcoming event you cross out mailed invitations

"we can make an email list."

your legs are thrown over his thighs on the sofa and he's resting the laptop on you them

"let's just make an instagram post: wedding in our backyard on thursday - you're invited."

ten pinches his nose

"we are not having a backyard wedding. we could not fit everyone in my dance company into it anyway."

you play with your engagement band and sigh

"fine, fine. what about.....we just call everyone and tell them. if we call kun right now he'll let all of the world know by the end of the week."

ten agrees with a hum, but then starts typing and you lean over to see

"bulk wedding invites? you're giving in?"

he closes the laptop and tosses it to the side, easily and gently pushing you down onto your back to hover over you with a small content sound

"i am. but we don't even have to write the letters - some company will do it for us."

his lips are inches from yours and all of a sudden you're young again - waiting to kiss him for the first time at that airport

"you know we'll still have to write vows right."

he is about to kiss you, he's so close and your eyes are closing

"i'll just read your letter outl-"

"TEN NO!"

he laughs, laughs until he finally does kiss you and then laughs again when he pulls back - the overflowing amount of love that exists in that moment is potent

you tell him to get over that old thing, but he shakes his head

"never, when again in all the lives i live is someone going to say i could make a shy tulip open its petals with my laughter?"

#i know his bday was in february please im still working through them cries #ten au #ten imagines #ten scenarios #nct au #nct imagines #nct scenarios #wayv imagines #wayv au #wayv scenarios #sfw #nostolgic!au #ten #member: ten #im sicheng through all this

[peterrparrkerr]

Hanahaki disease - read on ao3

Tagging: @lokitonypeter @just-things-things @thegreenmetblue @someonepostedart @andacheesyoneliner @bluestarker @lilcoffeecup @useless-fanfictions-for-mcu

*-*

Peter's known for a long time that he was in love with Tony. Since he was seven, and Ironman saved his life. Since he came home to Tony Stark on his couch, talking with his aunt.

Since the trip to Germany, and everything else leading up to now. The more time he spent with the older man, the more in love with him he became.

Peter never really thought he'd be the one to get sick. He thought he'd been immune. He's had crushes before, been in unrequited love before, and he never got sick.

But with Tony, it came on so suddenly. One day he was fine, and then the next, blue petals were in his sink after a coughing fit.

He'd been so shocked he'd stumbled back and almost hit his head on the bathroom door.

That was six months ago, and its not gotten better. He's been lucky enough to hide it from everyone.

With May's long hours at the hospital and his school's wacky scheduling, and the Avengers keeping Peter on the outskirts, its easy to hide the blue flowers.

He's read stories about people with the disease getting better on their own, or even learning to live with it for the rest of their lives.

He's also read about it killing people.

But he can't tell Tony how he feels. He just can't. Tony thinks of Peter as a kid. Plus, while the age difference doesn't bother Peter at all, it might bother Tony.

The man was old enough to be his dad anyway. So Peter decided to hide the flower petals. For as long as he could.

"Hey, Pete, you getting the popcorn or what?" Clint calls from the living room. Peter coughs again, hunched over the trashcan beside the kitchen island.

"Yeah!" He shouts, coughing again. He reaches into his mouth, picking the petals off his tongue before straightening. He glances down at the trash, covered in wet, wilty petals and feels his stomach roll.

He quickly grabs a bunch of paper towel, throwing them into the trash to cover them, then pushing it all down as far as it'd go.

After a second, he grabs the two bowls of popcorn and makes his way back into the living room.

"Sorry, I had to melt the butter," he excused, handing one bowl off to Clint -who would be sharing with Nat, Bruce and Steve.

Peter handed the other bowl off to Sam, who was in reach of Tony, Thor, Bucky and Peter.

"What are we watching again?" Peter asked, clearing his throat. It was always worse when Peter was around Tony.

"Halloween," Sam said, smirking over at Peter.

"Its August," Peter exclaims.

"Yeah, and we were going to watch A Walk To Remember but Tony doesn't do chick flicks, and the grandparents haven't seen it yet."

"Hey, Tony hasnt seen it either," Steve yelped, waving a hand at Tony, sitting at the corner of the couch, beside Sam.

Peter tried not to think about how close they'd be if Sam and him just switched places.

"That's because Halloween is a terrible series."

"It not!" Peter can't help interjecting. "Its right up there with Nightmare on Elm Street and  Friday the 13th."

"How do you even know what those movies are?" Clint asks, laughing on the other couch.

"I watch old movies," Peter shrugged, feeling the familiar sense of self-consciousness creep into his chest, tickling at his lungs.

"Old!" Tony barked. "Kid, the 80s aren't old."

Peter forces himself to laugh and shrug and make a joke about hanging out with people twice his age, and the conversation moves on.

But it just reminds Peter that Tony would never see him as an equal because of his age. There was no way he'd ever accept that Peter loved him. Or would love him back.

The movie plays, and Peter chews handfuls of popcorn to keep from coughing up a lung.

Bucky and Steve are on the edge of their seats, fully invested in the corny horror film when Tony starts coughing.

Everyone glances over in concern, but the man just waves his hand, mouth pressed into his elbow.

"Pop-corn-" he chokes out between coughs.

"You're supposed to chew it," Nat laughs. Peter tries not to outwardly show how worried he is when Tony's face grows red, the coughing so bad he has to get up and make his way to his bedroom down the hallway.

Everyone returns to watching the movie, but Peter can't help but wonder if Tony's okay, especially when he doesn't come back right away.

"Uh, I gotta take a leak," Peter lies, climbing to his feet.

"Thanks for sharing, little man," Sam huffed. Peter doesn't say anything else,just makes his way down the hallway.

Tony's bedroom is all the way at the end. The only people who live in the penthouse with him are Steve and Bucky, and Wanda and Vision -though they're out on a date for the night.

He passes the bathroom door, and his frown deepens when he hears Tony hacking in his bedroom.

He keeps light on his toes, reaching the bedroom door that's not all the way closed, and pushes it open just a little.

"Ton-" the sight before him cuts him off, and he ducks back a little, worried maybe the older man might've seen him.

He feels his chest tighten at the sight. Tony, leaned over with a bedside trash can between his knees, coughing up little pink flowers.

Peter's eyes widen when the man spits a glob of blood into the basket before continuing to cough.

Tears burn at Peter's eyes and he quickly backs up, rushing down the hallway and past the living room.

"Hey, where you going? Where's the fire?"

"I-I gotta go home aunt May- uh, I gotta go she wants me home," Peter shouts, snatching up his keys and phone on the way out.

He's in the elevator, and he can't stop the sobs from tightening his throat.

Tony's sick. Tony's in love with someone who doesn't love him back. Tony's in love with someone and its not Peter.

Be chokes on tears and petals all the way to the main floor, shoves the petals into his pocket and runs from the building.

He knew his love was unrequited. He knew there was no chance, but to see Tony so in love with someone else -it was like digging a knife into his heart and twisting.

He makes it to his bedroom and buries his face into his pillow, muffling his crying so May won't hear when she gets home. Hopefully she'll think hes still at the tower and won't check on him until the morning.

He cries himself to sleep, eyes gritty and heavy.

*-*

"Hey, kid, how's patrolling going?"

Peter jolts at the sudden sound of Tony's voice in his ear, momentarily forgetting he has a connection to the tower now. New upgrades.

"Uh, good," Peter huffed, swinging from building to building. "Stopped a mugging, and helped a couple people with the parking meters."

Tony chuckles over the coms. "You gotta stop showing people the coin on tape trick."

Peter can't help but smile through his mask. He clears his throat when he feels the familiar tickle at the back of his throat.

"Fuck capitalism, Mr. Stark," he says.

"You do know capitolism is kind of my job?"

"Its not," Peter countered. "I mean, it relied heavily on it in the beginning -what with the weapons and war profiteering- but you've come a long way! Sustainable energy and you're even recycling!"

Tony chuckles again, and Peter has a moment to regret his words -Tomy probably thinks he's just a dumb kid- before a coughing fit hits him out of nowhere.

It's so bad, Peter loses his momentum and drops onto a rough of a small cafe. Hes on his hands and knees, crawling from the edge of the roof as he coughs and hacks.

"Pete, you okay? What's wrong?" Comes Tony's worried voice.

Peter feels the petals coating his mouth with nowhere to go and frantically tugs on his mask. He's choking, suffocating.

He rips the mask off and heaves a mess of petals and blood onto the gravel roof.

Its never been this bad. Panic grips his chest when he coughs and wretches more than he can get a breath in. He's suffocating.

Tears burn his eyes as he struck less desperately to take a breath. Just one breath.

His head begins to spin, chest heaving and he drops from his knees to his hips, legs curled off to the side as he holds himself up with shaky arms.

There's so much blood and petals, Peter doesn't know where its all coming from.

He's too busy dying to notice the suit of armor that drops onto the  roof, or that Tony's suddenly rushing towards him.

"Jesus, kid!" He breathed.

Peter lets out a sob, blood and petals continuing to fall from his mouth. His stomach hurts from the heaving, his chest from lack of oxygen.

Tony grabs him by the arms, pulling him forward until he's away from the pile of bile, blood and blue wilting flowers, nearly cradling him in his arms.

"Its alright, you're okay, you're gonna be okay," Tony repeated, rocking Peter while he continued to cough and sob.

He shakes his head, even as exhaustion and lack of air flow has his eyelids drooping, body settling further into Tony's hold.

When he wakes up again, he's in a hospital bed. Theres an iv in the back of his hand, and a tube running down his throat from his nose.

He swallows around it and has to fight back panic at the strange feeling.

There's a heart monitor on his index finger, and a few on his chest -which is bare.

Peter moves shaky hands to the blanket and pulls it up just enough to see. Someone had taken his suit off, leaving him in his red boxers.

He blushes at that. Who had taken his suit off? Damn, he hoped it wasn't Clint or Sam.

He drops the blanket just as the door opens. He looks up to see Tony step inside and he wants the bed to swallow him whole.

"Hey, kid," he greeted, shutting the door behind him and making his way towards Peter's bed. "You had us all pretty worried."

Peter drops his eyes to the itchy white hospital sheet, picking at a loose thread and not saying anything. What was there to say?

Tony sighs as he settles down into the chair beside the bed.

"Your aunt May is in the middle of a shift, but she'll be stopping by when she's got a break to check up on you."

"Okay," Peter barely manages to murmur.

"The doctors had to pump your lungs," Tony continued. "But its not a cure, Pete. They'll come back."

Tears burn at his eyes and he quickly brushes them away, sniffling as he does so.

"I know," he said. "Its alright, I'm okay."

"Peter," Tony sighs, grabbing Peter's hand. He looks up then, seeing the concern in the older man's eyes. "You're not okay, you're really sick."

"People live with it all the time," Peter brushed off.

"Who is it?"

"What?" Peter asked, heart monitor matching his fast pulse.

"Who is it? How long have you been like this?"

and it must be because Peter is tired -exhausted and drained and so sick of being sick- because fresh tears bloom and he pulls his hand from Tony's.

"Long time," is all he can say as he presses his palms into his eyes, rubbing at the tears.

"Who," Tony presses.

Fuck it, Peter thinks. He's already dying, he's already humiliated. Why not just confess?

"You," he says, pulling his hands from his face. "I've-I've been in love with you for- for years."

He can't handle the shocked look that filters through Tony's features, so he looks down at the iv in his hand, lower lip trembling.

"And I know you don't think of me that way," he continues. "I know, so its okay, I'm fine, I'll get over it or, or get the surgery or something-"

"Peter," Tony interrupts, moving from the chair to the side of the bed. He grabs both sides of Peter's jaw, forcing him to look up at Tony. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because," he says on a wet breath. "Because you've always thought of me as a kid. You- I'm still just a kid to you, and thats okay, Mr. Stark, I'm-"

Tony's eyebrows furrow as Peter has to stop talking. He's getting to the point where he's babbling, not understandable.

"I don't think of you as a kid," Tony says.

"Yes, you do," Peter huffed, taking deep breaths to try and calm himself down. "You do, and thats okay, I promise, I've live this long with it, I'm okay."

"Has it always been that bad?"

Peter shakes his head.

"What made it worse?"

Peter's showing his hand already, he might as well expose the card up his sleeve too.

"I saw you," he murmured. "During the movie. You're sick too. I didn't mean to, I was just- checking to make sure you were okay but-"

"Peter, sweetheart," Tony interrupted, and Peter looked up at him, realizing suddenly the man's eyes are watering a little.

"I'm sick because of you."

Peter feels like someone punched the air from his lungs, and he blinks up at Tony, eyebrows drawing close as he tries to process what Tony's said.

"What?" He asks feebly. A small smile pulls at the corner of Tony's mouth and he leans forward, kissing Peter softly on the mouth.

It's a simple kiss, but it sucks the air from Peter's lungs.

"We're really bad at communicating, kid," Tony chuckled wetly, their noses brushing. Peter can't help but sniffle a laugh as well, his hands moving to grip the front of Tony's shirt.

"M'not a kid," he mumbles, pressing his forehead against Tony's. The older's hands are still cradling his face, thumbs brushing against his wet cheeks.

"No, you're not," Tony agreed.

#marvel #tony stark #peter parker #ironman #spiderman #starker #ao3 #my writing #sfsummerbingo21