#stop and think about how you would feel if someone made a post like that about a group to which you belong

[enchantressiren]

❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐠𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐬/𝐠𝐨𝐝 𝐢𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝?❞

What do you truly crave during masturbation? What do you need?

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This is a tarot card reading. 1 card was picked. idea Credit: @111kawaiikissess111, thank you. I altered it, but I'll be doing the original idea they had soon. Thought this would be a cool concept.

Normal intuitive readings: @sefinaa

Hi loves, if you’re interested in a paid reading, I made a post about my tarot services. I wanted to make it affordable but not disrespecting myself in the process. Up to you if you would like to, no pressure!!!

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Pile I

Reversed ace of swords

You need to stop thinking about others when you masturbate. Your thoughts are all scattered. I see an image of a deck of cards, all hearts scattered around, some cards on top of each other. Some are on the ground, some are ripped up, and then there is you. Feeling hopeless and lost. I'm feeling so sad and doubtful right now. This is your overall energy. 

What do you truly crave during masturbation?

Start to use sex toys on yourself instead of your fingers. You crave sexual intimacy and desire someone to touch you. So try adding vibrators, dildos, or dick rings (it keeps echoing in my head). Also, whenever you think about others, grab a pillow and add perfume to it. So whatever perfume reminds you of the person you constantly think of, spray it and leave it next to you. And when you crave their touch, smell the pillow, breathe in the scent, and then daydream about it. Intuition tells me you should also learn to be comfortable with yourself and be turned on by your own kinks rather than others. Because at the end of the day, you have yourself, right? So follow it through. Oh! And for those who are a system, try to focus on the kinks that have made you comfortable rather than your alters. And that it’s okay to like something different than your host. It doesn’t make you stupid; you’re valid to like something else. 

What do you need?

You need to learn how to focus on your own desires and what makes you comfortable. Learn to be comfortable in your presence and start craving what makes you happy, not others. Prioritize feeling comfortable in your body too. As for my followers with a system, learn how to feel comfortable with who you are instead of the body. Because you are still worthy of this reading, okay? Okay. :)

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Pile II

Seven of cups 

Wow, such beautiful energy. I am seeing a woman enchantingly walking on a stream of water barefoot. She has a long, beautiful white dress, and her face is illuminating. A smile is tainted on her lips, and her eyes are soft and pure. She keeps walking to seek something but becomes sad when she cannot reach it. You guys have the thing you need, but you walk past it because you are lost in your fantasies. 

What do you truly crave during masturbation?

Yourself. Intuition tells me that you crave yourself during sex instead of the one night stands you do. Instead of having sex with your lover, having friends with benefits, having a master or owner, having orgies—you name it. Start masturbating alone and be connected with that part of you. Stop seeking external energies because they can exhaust us; seek your own self. Sometimes, we become lost in the world and believe that to enjoy body pleasure or sex, we need someone else. But people always forget that you get that pleasure from yourself before you get it from others. Intuition always says, ‘’if you keep seeking other people for pleasure, you will forget yourself in the process. Start seeking what you need and what makes you hungry.’’ Basically, my intuition is saying, stop becoming hungry for other people and their sexual parts; start becoming hungry for your own. Start touching yourself. It’s okay to touch yourself; it's completely normal, almost everyone does it, and it doesn’t make you bad or embarrassing, so don't worry. Do things that make you happy, because if you keep seeking external pleasure, you will lose yourself in the process. 

What do you need?

Masturbate with yourself. Appreciate your own beauty; appreciate your own body. Become flustered with your own body. Do things for yourself. Don't feel bad if your sex partner or lover wants to have sex and you don't. Tell them how you feel, set boundaries, and let go of the worry. Breathe in and out a few times, and tell yourself those boundaries. You must value yourself because you need to heal that part of yourself. I keep hearing a cat, so maybe you’re into pet play and feel shameful about it. Don’t; it’s normal. Just learn to appreciate your kinks too.

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Pile III

Six of pentacles 

I see a child who throws tantrums constantly. Always begging their parents for something and always being called a spoiled brat. However, in this scenario, they are. They’re greedy, selfish, rude, and always need more, never appreciating what they have. Always seeking more. More fun, more riches, more attention—consumed by lust and gluttony. 

What do you truly crave during masturbation?

Gratitude. The energy I feel with you is stressful. I feel anxious and tired mentally, physically I feel icky; I feel greedy; and I feel very scared. I feel like everything is out to get me. That’s how you all feel, literally. I need you.. I need all of you to let go of the past and your ex and find gratitude and appreciation for yourself. I need you guys to understand that you cannot go insane and treat others badly because the ex that you were obsessed with left you; you must show respect for their decision. Because this obsession you guys are holding dearly isn’t going to help you in terms of sex or in general. As for what you need to do? Stop daydreaming about having sex with them again and just have rough sessions with yourself. You guys literally crave rough sex all the time; it’s always on your mind. So do it with yourself, and some of you guys are frantic witches, doing love spells to get them back.. So just stop. Just stop. It’s for your higher good and for them. The love spells will fuck you back; people have ruined their lives because of them. Is it worth it for one person? Learn to be in love with yourself! The things that you think are out to get YOU will if you DO the love spell, do you see the difference? So stop going after them and go after your own cravings with YOURSELF. 

What do you need?

Have rough sessions with yourself. Finger yourself faster, add more fingers, and don’t fist yourself. I know some of you are into that, but intuition says don’t do that. Of course, it’s up to you guys, but I hear something of tearing and anger. So perhaps when you heal from this, you can do it. I also hear that you should buy a dildo that has a vibrator attached (regardless of your gender) to masturbate, and those who aren’t into it should start using handcuffs and whips on themselves. I know that a majority of you are into spanking and being restrained, so do that. If you don't know how to, intuition says you can bend over something and grab a whip, paddle, whatever, and imagine someone hitting you with it, but it’s yourself. You can also tie a string to it and pull it as it spanks you. Also, intuition says, don't send evil eye or envy to other people; it will only come back to you tenfold, and I know you’re tempted to do it, but don’t. It’s not worth that revenge; what's worth it is healing yourself, okay? Alright. 

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Pile IV

Reversed Chains

I see someone powerful who had everything going well for them being thrown into a jail cell with nothing but water in a dog bowl and spoiled food. The guards are laughing at them, snickering at their suffering. As the person looks up and begs for them to end their suffering through death, the guards snicker at them. Instead of the person sobbing, there is hope within, and they have this desire to fight back and be who they were once. They won't allow others to hurt them; instead, they will find a way to escape the journey of hell. 

What do you truly crave during masturbation?

My loves, what you truly crave during masturbation is finding a quiet place to release yourself. A lot of you still live with your family or guardians, and finding somewhere to masturbate is challenging. Every time you try to do it, someone knocks on your door. Or if you share a room, you tend to go to the basement or the bathroom, and that’s hard too. Because your family is so demanding, you already know what you truly crave. Peace and quiet to masturbate. Sometimes you don't go out with them so you can secretly satisfy your cravings, or, in this case, treat yourself to masturbation. Sometimes you do it in the shower, but it’s hard to reach or relax as you do it. 

What do you need?

So intuition tells me that when you feel horny and need to masturbate, grab something that vibrates, add it to your vagina or dick, and sit down and do your own thing. Don't add it to a higher vibration even if you crave it; keep it at a low setting. If you don't have anything that vibrates, you could ask your parents, guardian, family member, etc. (even if you have abusive parents) to get you an electric toothbrush. And if you can remove the toothbrush part and allow the vibration to hit your spot, it could help soothe the craving. If you cannot or are interested in using it as a whole (if you have a vagina), then you can, but make sure to wrap yourself in a blanket and not wear headphones or earbuds when it happens so you don't get caught. Try to keep your volume up slightly compared to the sound and watch something normal, so no pornographic gifs, videos, games, etc. Intuition also tells me that you shouldn’t worry about it because you’re going to be okay. You could also grind on something; it’s not the same feeling, but it could help. I also hear that you could go to the bathroom and sit down in the bathtub or shower floor and simply touch yourself. Do it slowly, gently, and softly. Be delicate with yourself as you do it. They won't hear you if you go slow, and that delicate feeling will start to feel electrifying. 

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Pile V

Reversed seven of wands

I see a housewife always doing chores and never allowing herself to take a break. Her husband, a toxic man, comes inside and yells at her because his dinner isn’t in front of him. She breaks down in tears, and instead of comfort, he slaps her. He insults her until she feels despair. She looks up with anger, only to be shut out once again with a kick. The kick bruises her precious face and ruins her image. 

What do you truly crave during masturbation?

Okay, okay, so what's up with you guys thinking you aren’t allowed to masturbate? Is it based on religious trauma? Sexual trauma? How many times have your guardians, family, or parents shoved down the idea that you aren’t allowed to, and to relieve yourself, you must have sex with someone? So, I really need you to heal from that trauma because masturbation is normal and will not send you to hell. I’m not religious, so I wouldn't know, but I’m pretty sure the majority of religions are based on peace and letting your worries go to the higher being you believe in. If that’s the case, why would doing something that helps release your stress and helps you be more in tune with yourself be considered evil..? I don't see how that would make sense. Since I advise you to be on the journey of healing that trauma, for the time being, I want you guys to tell yourself it’s okay to do it. And if you still have guilt, intuition says you can rub your legs together (if you have a vagina) or squeeze your vagina. I hear that it can give you pleasure without actually touching yourself. Now if you have a dick, I want you to graze around your thighs, or, as intuition says, around your balls and allow the sensation to overlap with your desire for masturbation. 

What do you need?

You need to let go of your trauma around masturbation and know that it’s okay to do it. You need to understand that feeling horny is normal. Masturbation is normal. Desiring more in the sexual department is normal. All of these thoughts are normal; don't kill yourself over them. You’re human; it’s normal to have these thoughts. Let it go and understand that it’s okay to touch yourself, and if not, a slight graze around your thigh area or chest (regardless of your gender) would be beneficial since a lot of people don’t consider masturbation. 

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Pile VI

Reversed five of wands

I see two people dancing in a club, showing off their alcoholic beverages. Dancing along the platform where a light shines on them. As they dance in the spotlight, some are booing at them, and others are whistling at them. One of them becomes uncomfortable and sad and leaves. Then everyone starts booing at the person, but they do their own thing and keep dancing. That’s you. You don't care enough about others' opinions because you know what you want. 

What do you truly crave during masturbation?

Since you already know what you want, why not stop procrastinating and get it done? What’s stopping you? I don't see any blockage energy for excuses. And don't be like the second person who left (not that there's anything wrong with that, but hold your ground). Go ahead and have a sexy romantic bath with yourself already. Listen to sexy songs and feel good about yourself. Reversed five of wands is basically you being at the right point in your life; you have no worries right now, it’s a moment of peace. Take advantage of it and go wild with this bath. Have fun in the process. If you want to masturbate, go for it. Go for sensual moans; truly feel it and act sexy if you want. Just go for it. Kick the procrastination or fear away; you don’t need it. This is your confirmation that you’re in your calm period. Intuition says, ‘’just don't eat during the bath.’’ Intuition says that the food is going to drop in the bath, and you will lose that passion.

What do you need?

Relax and just do it. Stop procrastinating on this; it’s one of your fantasies after all. You see it in books or movies, so why not do it yourself? It’s nothing bad, you deserve the break after all. Besides, I’d rather see you feel good about yourself instead of dwelling in negativity, because what do you gain from it? Absolutely nothing. Oh! And if you can, add incense during it, or my intuition advises you to have candles, but with protection and far away from the bath. I keep smelling smoke and started to cough, it felt like I was in a house fire. And i keep hearing firefighters, SO I advise you to LISTEN to my intuition when it comes to candles. And if they or this scares you, then please go for incense or air fresheners instead. Go for a mint, wood, or lavender smell so you can feel relaxed, and lower the music so it can feel like a movie or music video. 

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#18+ tarot #free tarot readings #tarot reading #pick a photo #collective reading #tarot community #channeled message #free tarot #PAC #pick a card #pick a pile #pick a pile reading #divination #tarot deck #tarot readers of tumblr #tarotcommunity #daily tarot #tarot #tarot cards #tarot witch #witchy #witches of tumblr #witch community #witchcraft #oracle #spicymessages #18+ only #18+ post #18+ content #18+ minors dni

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

Wait, how would Cooper feel about thigh high stockings with some of those heels? Possibly a garter belt too? Or even just knowing that his partner has them on underneath whatever they usually wear? My mind goes blank when I see them on a pretty lady (or a man or anyone else really, I'm bisexual) Something about wearing them also makes me feel super hot but also powerful? Is that weird?

Oh, they feel very powerful, Anon. That's definitely not weird. In fact, I'd argue that that's one of the main selling points of them. It's very empowering and confidence-boosting to feel desirable and sexy.

That's why Cooper would absolutely adore seeing you in the entire get-up. He'd also like seeing you be so confident...

I think it would start small, maybe him gifting you your first very nice set of lingerie for your first Valentine's Day together. To you and your current financial situation, nice lingerie is simply defined as "a cute-ish top and bottoms that match and aren't completely ratty".

It's been about a year since he and Barb officially divorced, and about four months since you and Cooper started dating. You're both still quite low-key about it, not wanting to deal with the drama or the guilt of making Barb feel bad, but you're wild about one another. Coop likes being with someone who is more down-to-earth like he is, someone who he could really see raising chickens with him. You enjoy the older man's kindness, his generous nature, all the things he can show and teach you from years of life experience.

You aren't inexperienced, sexually, but the things you've tried aren't exactly adventurous. He catches you reading a steamy novel one evening, though, and suddenly you're getting quite the interrogation about what naughty things you like while he tickles you and kisses at your neck. And trust me, you will be divulging that information; he's a patient man, and if he has to wait until the next time you have an extra glass of wine with dinner to ask again, he will.

One of the things you eventually mention, lips loose after too much New Year's champagne, is how you've always liked the idea of dressing up in sexy lingerie, high heels and all, parading around a tied-up man like a prowling seductress.

So, naturally, you're over the moon when, a week before Valentine's Day, he gives you a gorgeous satiny bra and panty set and some stockings to go with. The sizing is perfect, of course, because he's so wonderful about attention to detail. The garter belt confuses you when you try it on, but eventually you manage to wrestle it all into place, and you're blown away by your reflection in the mirror. Cooper insists you don't show him what it looks like on until the day of, and you keep to that. But after your romantic dinner together that evening, you find yourself almost overly giddy to get out of the nice dress you'd chosen for your date. He's been shooting you heart-stopping glances all night, running his eyes up and down your body like he knows what you're hiding underneath your clothes.

Which, of course, he does.

When you finally get home, he takes great pleasure in slowly peeling you out of the thing, revealing the black satin and silk and the little bow between your breasts. Your feet have much less traction than usual against the hardwood floors in the stockings, but you're sure in your step as his eyes on you give you a huge confidence boost. Leading him to his bedroom, you push him down on the bed and kiss him for a long while before telling him to stay put, disappearing from the room and reappearing with a few lengths of rope in hand, his white cowboy hat on your head.

A few minutes later, his arms are outstretched just enough to keep him from being able to reach his body with his hands, the knots around his arms and the headboard posts nice and secure. He taught you the knots, and you'd really enjoyed learning them, but you still didn't think it had been fair of him to test your knowledge on them while he made you cockwarm him. But that's a score to settle another day.

You enjoy taking your time teasing him, running your tongue and nails along his chest and stomach, noting the way he shivers as you run your fingers along the waistband of his slacks. After he pleads a little, you free him from his open fly and tease him with your lips and tongue until he's pleading again. You smile wickedly at him as you move back.

Balancing on your rear and your palms, you lean back as far as you can while still staying upright between his knees, slowly and intentionally running your silk-clad feet all along the planes of his bare chest, appreciating his physique as you tease all the way up to his collar bones. A giggle leaves you when he cranes his neck to allow himself to nibble at your ankles, but the playful little kick you give him to the forehead sends him staring you down with a heat in his gaze. When he's settled down, you move your feet back down to the trail of hair that leads to his twitching, throbbing erection.

"Dirty tricks, little lady." he growls when you start to gently rub your smooth sole back and forth across his cock. You've managed to sniff out this particular kink of his between all the "secret" little glimpses at you after you take off your heels at the end of the day, the glut of compliments about how pretty your feet are, the regular pedicures he happily pays for. The massages where he can barely conceal his growing erection. You'd thought it a little strange at first, but he didn't judge you for your stranger proclivities, so you tried your best to grant him the same grace.

Plus, it was really quite hot how worked up he got about it, and you certainly didn't mind all the gifted shoes.

Since you've already been working him up and teasing him, he quickly reaches his end. You're both a little shocked by exactly how hard he cums, and how much, jet after hot jet spattering across his chest, his stomach, and your stockings, a low, guttural groan leaving him as you continue to gently pet at him until he pleads with you to stop. You can't help but notice that he seems like he's having a hard time meeting your gaze.

The whole display is incredibly erotic to you, despite what you may have thought about this sort of thing before. You'd never considered how much you could enjoy having a man you actually liked and trusted thinking your feet were very, very sexy, and now the whole thing has you ready to plant yourself down on him and never get off.

"Well, are you gonna untie me so I can return the favor, darlin'?" he asks eventually, face and neck still pink as he finally seems to gather up the courage to look over at you. You grin, slinking forward to lean in and kiss him deeply, running your fingers through the cooling rivulets of semen painting his toned chest.

"Mmm, I dunno, cowboy." you tut, pulling his hat from your head and giving your hair a seductive shake as you place it onto his. "I sorta like you like this. I'm thinking about maybe taking you for a little test ride."

His muscles flex against his restraints as he grins impishly at you. You have him under your control, and you intend to keep him that way for quite a while. Your pretty lingerie will definitely be destroyed by the time you're finished with each other, but no worries; he's got another of the exact same set hidden in the closet, ready to replace it so you can have one to actually keep.

He's just thoughtful like that. 😈

To the innocent anon: I'm sorry I used your submission to write foot job porn. :( Well, I'm kinda sorry.

I do feel at least a little bad, scout's honor.

#cooper howard #the ghoul #prewar!cooper howard #cooper howard headcanons #cooper howard smut #cooper howard x reader #cooper howard x you #fallout tv show #fallout prime #submission

[bloggingboutburgers]

Wait I'm actually crying because the other day I read one of your comics about your qpr and I can't remember which one but I couldn't stop thinking about how cool it would be and how much i liked the idea of a non-romantic or sexual kind of relationship with someone, but then I kept thinking "but you do experience attraction and have desired a romantic relationship with someone before". I kept on thinking this until at one point I tried to remember when I actually wanted to be with someone and couldn't come up with anything. Yeah, I've had feelings for people before (I think- still figuring that out) but when I thought about us actually being together it just didn't feel right at all. I kept trying to find evidence of romantic attraction but it just wasn't there. I've kinda "denied" being even just ace for awhile because of internalized homophobia, and it took me awhile to finally realize that yes, I am aro/ace, and I onoy realized thid after much internal debate and afyer readung your posts. Basically your comic helped me learn and accept myself instead of hiding because I'm scared people won't accept me. Thank you so so much :) (and sorry this is so long haha)

Aaaaaaa thank YOU for telling me that!!! It makes me so happy if my comics can help someone out in that way, and I hope figuring yourself out in that way also makes YOU happy TwT

Despite being in my 30s I realized I was aroace at 14, but I feel I might be more of an exception and it just being due to me being very persistent, inquisitive and having a strong sense of identity. 'Cus yeah, seems society does a lot (accidentally or not) to not let anyone ever know that asexuality and aromanticism ARE a thing, and beyond that, ARE valid, and beyond that, that YES, you can be happy with those orientations. It's made so hard to get to a place of self-knowledge and acceptance, so it's no wonder people need a while to figure themselves out!

(...And yeah the whole "Oh you experience positive feelings for someone? THAT'S ROMANCE! Wait, negative feelings too? THAT'S ROMANCE ACTUALLY! Feelings of mild interest in general? THAT'S ROMANCE! EVERYTHING IS ONLY EVER ROMANCE!" thing definitely doesn't help either.)

So... Yeah. I'm really glad this could help, and I hope knowing this about yourself will help you not force yourself into boxes you don't actually fit in in the future... And find the right boxes for you if that helps, of course.

I really wish you the best TwT

#anon #aromantic #asexual #aroace #this makes me so happy

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

YAYY!! Reqs are open again! I know you’ve already done something similar but can you do maybe some hcs of Graysons mental if that makes sense (like anxiety, depression, schizophrenia) only if you feel comfortable ofc <3

sad grayson head canons pt. 2

of course! i wont be talking about schizophrenia though bc i don't know enough about it and i don't feel comfortable talking about smth knowing i might be writing things that are completely inaccurate and that might offend/hurt some people. i apologize if these suck or if this is really short. when i made this post, i had just found out someone in my family was in the hospital and i wrote these to distract me so idk how good they'll be. not all of these will be on anxiety and depression btw. tw for suicidal thoughts. hope you still like them <3.

when he swims at night, the pool tends to be very cold bc its the one of the only things that makes him forgot about everything that is making him anxious. if he can't swim, he takes cold showers.

although it might not look like it, he gets very anxious and overwhelmed in situations where there are a lot of people. he overthinks everything he says to them, wonders if his suit looks nice enough/if he's presentable, if he's making a good impression, and has trouble focusing when there are so many people he has to talk too. he's very good at hiding it though so you would never guess (like i said, multiple people, if its just one person it doesn't matter to him)

like i said in my last hc, he gets anxious when talking to many people. i want to add that usually, its not usually himself that makes himself anxious but emily talking in his head telling him he's doing smth wrong. basically, if it weren't for emily, he wouldn't be anxious talking to so many people. idk if this one makes sense.

one of the reasons he wears suits is bc it makes him feel put together when he feels like a mess in his head. he always looks so flawless which makes people think he's fine.

he went through a period of time when he was younger where he couldn't get out of bed to go to school/do his school work which ig seems ooc, but we're talking about young grayson here, not the put together version of him we know. he hated himself so bad he didn't think it was worth living anymore and thought that there was no point in working if he wasn't going to live long enough to get a career/become an adult. also, another reason was bc he felt sm pressure to be the best that he kind of just gave up. tobias got mad at him and thought he was overreacting. he did get better thanks to his brothers, enough for him to start doing his school work again and start handling the pressure he was under.

he's very self-conscious about his appearance. by this i don't mean looking put together, i mean sometimes he'll look in the mirror and think he's gained weight which makes him workout more/swim. its not that he finds himself ugly, he just doesn't want people to notice and think something's wrong/he's going through something when he obviously is (cause in his head, if he doesn't always look the same, people will think smth's wrong/he's loosing control but thats just not true).

he used to have bad acne growing up and it really affected his confidence. he used to try to cover it up with concealer but no matter what he did it was always visible. it ended up going away but he hates looking at old pictures of himself cause he hates seeing it. it caused him really bad anxiety in public bc he thought people were judging him.

sometimes, people will try to talk to him but he won't hear them bc he can't stop stressing over all of the things he has to do and is stuck in his head. people have to repeat what they're saying and and shake him to get him out of spiraling.

grayson tried to stop taking his anti depressants when he was younger cause he was sure he didn't need them. he realized not long after that he couldn't just stop and that they were actually helping him.

after he realized they were helping him, he started to wonder why he couldn't be 'normal' like his other brothers (at the time, he didn't know his brothers were also struggling with their own issues)

to handle his anxiety when he was younger, he would punch a punching bag. this was before he learned how to handle his anger and stuff. he only allowed himself to lose control when doing this.

his room and office have to be clean at all times. if it isn't, it causes him even more anxiety. it makes him feel messy and not in control.

his grand father used to tell him that hawthornes don't have mental illnesses and that he's overreacting (stupid ass grand father). it made grayson feel like he wasn't good enough.

after avery almost died during the bombing, he considered offing himself bc he didn't think he was worth it. he let one of the people he cares most about almost die, and the guilt was nearly too much for him.

grayson used to feel like he shouldn't be struggling the way he is bc of all of the opportunities and money he has. he felt like his feelings weren't valid, and that others had it worse. he tought he had no reason to feel as crappy as he did and that made him hate himself/think there was smth wrong with him. it only made him feel more depressed.

sometimes, he'd go on the rooftop of the house to get some air, see the height and the deadly fall, and consider jumping off. he used to think everyone was better off without him and that he'd be doing everyone a favor by offing himself.

in my first sad grayson post, i said that he owns a teddy bear nash gave him. he'll never admit it, but when he feels really anxious and like his world is crumbling down, he cuddles with it. it's one of the only things that actually helps him calm down. it also helps when he has a panic attack, he grabs it and holds it against his chest to relax (it also helps him sleep). the only one who knows about all of this is nash.

his anxiety tends to get worse during the winter cause he can't swim in the outdoor pool. its one of his most effective coping mechanisms. swimming in their indoor pool isn't the same according to him.

he used to hate christmas bc people would get him gifts he didn't think he deserved. he loved the gifts he'd receive but thought that people shouldn't be spending their money on him and that others were more worthy.

he used to see a therapist on and off for a while (in secret) when he was younger but would always end up stopping after his grandfather found out and told him he was wasting the therapist's time. he finally starts seeing a therapist consistently in his mid-20s (so after tgg and stuff).

#the inheritance games #grayson hawthorne #jameson hawthorne #avery grambs #nash hawthorne #xander hawthorne

[doonalli]

Mai and Humanity in Autonomy (Mai Character Analysis)

I think Mai Tsurugi is a character who has a lot to her and while I know she is talked about a bit I think she should be talked about more because she is a truly fantastic character and I hope this post gets you to start thinking about how and why!!

To understand Mai’s character I think it's important to talk about a major theme in 3-1. Obviously at its core Chapter 3 Part 1 is about what makes something human, and its shown through each of the dummies, each encompassing a different aspect of humanity, and for Mai this is the humanity of being able to make your own choices.

And this is made extremely clear during one major point in 3-1 where Ranmaru gives a speech about how humanity is about making your own choices after Keiji gets locked in a coffin. 

And throughout the chapter Mai ends up emboding everything that Ranmaru and this scene is trying to say.

In this speech Ranmaru states that being human is about making your own choices, something that's a constant struggle for Mai’s character, but also something she ends up learning throughout the chapter and finally proving her humanity through it.

and Mai is the one who by far encapsulates this the most throughout 3-1, ironic considering how she is also the only one who didn’t get to hear the speech on account of being unconscious.

When we first meet Mai it’s as a doll during the Murderer Game, the subgame in which the survivors must kill Midori in order to proceed however the dolls instead have a different objective. As a doll Mai is told she must kill her partner (in this case being Q-taro) if she wants to survive. Here she starts off as someone unable to make her own choices and that's shown off almost immediately when Mai ends up being the first doll to play into Midori's hands and try to kill their partner, it's a choice that was set up for her, not something she chose herself but rather it's just her playing along with Midori's puppet show. However, after she wakes from being knocked out by Qtaro we see the first signs of her breaking from that.

When she wakes up, we see the aftermath of her choice from her perspective, and she regrets it, not from a regret of her betrayal but because of her failure.

If Sara tells her “you’re awake…” she’ll say

Its only when Qtaro decides to forgive that she finally regrets her actions

And Qtaro tells her that this doesn’t mean anything, as he claims he would have done the same, and the only thing that stopped him was that he was never given the opportunity. The only thing stopping him was the lack of a choice in the matter, mirroring how the only thing pushing Mai is the looming threat that if she doesn’t kill she dies. Both given only having one real choice presented to them. 

Q-taro even said as much right after Mai stabbed him.

Q-taro calls out the lack of choice the dummies have in the matter, and makes it clear that its Midori who has control over them. Forcing them to play along with his puppet show.

Once Mai is awake it's from this point forward where we see more of who she really is, rather than the cutesy persona she put on before, and that's shown through her actions. 

As a first step towards reconciliation Mai steps up to take Qtaro off Yabusame’s hands and let him lean on her instead. (and if Anzu died Gin will tell Mai that they can take turns if she gets tired, to which she thanks Gin)

The next scene I want to talk about is when Hinako asks the dummies how they plan on surviving with both the humans and the dummies intact. If Anzu and Hayasaka both died earlier Mai will step up to fight back against Hinako and Kurumada’s reluctance.

Rather than speaking from a reluctance to kill such kind people like Anzu or Hayasaka, she argues from experience. She can’t say she couldn’t kill them, but she still doesn’t want her allies to feel the same feeling she did, even if she would have to stop them herself

Finally when Maple starts going on a rampage she decides to risk her life to stay behind and protect Qtaro. Interestingly she also is required to beat the Maple fight as she is the one who reads Maple’s instruction manual and figures out what must be done, which leads into the connection Mai and Maple have in their arcs.

Speaking of, during Keiji’s POV section, Mai and Qtaro hide in the coffins to get away from Maple until they’re unlocked and they are able to save Keiji. Qtaro gets the idea to shut off the elevators to stop Maple from being able to get to the 5th floor after the others. Maple then stumbles in and collapses, starting another scene which highlights the connection Mai and Maple have.

And she explains that her goal as an obstructor was to kill Midori, however there was something that stood in the way of that.

Maple regrets the terrible things she did to everyone but Mai tells her it's because the cast took the ID card from her. Maple tells her that it was because she was programmed into loving Midori, that even this love wasn’t her choice and ultimately relegates her to a “gimmick”, robbing her of her autonomy, a similar situation as to what happened with Mai. During the Murderer game Mai alongside the rest of the dummies are reduced to gimmicks, to the point that unlocking the first level of “gimmick security” lets you see information on the dummies and their collars,

and unlocking the second level causes the victim videos of the dummies to play, ending with a video of what happened as they woke up. Its clear that, to Midori and Asunaro at least, the dummies are simply gimmicks for the Murderer Game.

And this is shown again when Maple explains the true meaning of the “Murderer game”, and how they were pushed into thinking that killing the survivors was their only choice, despite that not being the case.

However Mai doubts it at first, saying

She wonders if Asunaro would even charge them if their battery runs out, she then insists Asunaro was planning on disposing of them from the start, and that they were just watching them struggle helplessly.

Until Qtaro speaks up to make a promise to Mai,

Through the Banquet and Qtaro’s promise a new path opens up, one paved through the bonds between the humans and the dolls. A new choice was created, a choice they made themselves, separate from the “the human lives or the doll lives” dichotomy they were fed before. And with Mai’s help, alongside Qtaro and Keiji, this choice became an actual possibility. 

Once Keiji leaves to charge the Midori doll’s head Mai and Qtaro stay behind and they end up enacting their own plan to help everyone during the banquet. Qtaro lays down in Keiji’s coffin, taking his death into his own hands, in a way alleviating the blame from Mai for her actions, and opening up a new possibility for the dummies with the banquet. Mai still cries out that it's her fault. However the death now has a purpose, has a reason past Mai’s mistake, and it changes the death from one done by a lack of choice, to one that opens up new choices from a lot more people.

From here Mai is alone, with Keiji on the 5th floor and Qtaro gone, she is the only one who is left that knows about the plan, and the only one at all who knows about Qtaro. From here she walks her own path, obtains the ID card from Sara and starts to boot up the Qtaro AI into the doll. Soon an announcement from “Keiji” calling for Sara occurs and Mai tries to push everyone to go with her, likely to make sure Keiji isn’t spotted on the way down, but Sara charges on alone regardless, leaving Mai alongside the rest of the others, and with no Keiji in sight.

She then later meets up with Sara alongside the others and a new Q-taro doll in the classroom after Sara awakens from being stunned.

Very quickly I want to call attention to a scene in the Logic route after Ranmaru kills Yabusame.

After Ranmaru claims that this is the only way left to save Sara, Hinako calls him out on wanting to save himself, causing him to retaliate by asking when she decided to side with them. Hinako, shocked, doesn't manage to reply, but Mai steps in to tell Ranmaru that no one would side with him.

In a way Ranmaru in the Logic Route is the exact opposite of what Mai is striving for. Just the same as her, he killed someone to survive, and while she wouldn’t know that Ranmaru was pushed into this choice by Sara’s words, similar to what Midori did to Mai, there is a large difference in the fact that Ranmaru’s goal includes killing everyone to save himself and Sara but even past that he revels in what he did as the right choice, mirroring Mai’s almost immediate regret at her actions. Even the way she specifically kills her partner while Ranmaru's goal is to kill everyone EXCEPT his partner adds to this.

Right afterwards the fight against Maple 2.0 happens, and there are a couple moments I want to discuss on how they pertain to this theme of making your own choices shared between the two. Firstly, Maple’s first attack.

But, despite her own thoughts…

Here Maple is stuck following orders, and Mai understands that, she tries to tell her to be strong. However this doesn’t end up working out and Maple throws her first attack of the fight, regardless of what she truly thinks.

Next, Mai’s early death.

Mai ends up dying due to Maple’s lack of autonomy in her own actions, and Midori mocks her in that, asking her “You fine with that Maple…?” despite knowing he has her wrapped around his finger. The way Mai dies is in a way she personally could relate to, and relates to her final apology to Q-taro.

In both examples Maple is trapped by her programming in the same way Mai was trapped by the knowledge that she must kill to survive, but Maple shows something important with her final moments.

As she is about to die she breaks from Midori’s control on her and uses this chance to die alongside him, thanking everyone and saying she has “finally woken up” if Mai lived or denying Midori’s reward if she died instead. 

When she finally catches up to him Midori in a last ditch effort tells Maple that he loves her, trying to abuse the programming placed into her, and Sara has 3 possible responses she can give. “He’s lying” and “Hurry up and finish him” both leading him to restate the sentiment that he loves her, but this time Maple isn’t led astray and affirms that she won’t believe him. And if Sara says “Don’t kill him” she continues to lead her own decision stating that she will herself.

However despite this her body fails and she isn’t able to kill him. In the Logic Route, if Ranmaru is still alive, this is specifically caused by Ranmaru shocking her with his stun gun finger, adding another layer to my earlier point on how he is the opposite of Mai with him denying Maple’s own final action. Notably Mai sits down next to Maple’s corpse during the pre-banquet.

Despite this However Maple’s attack showed us cracks in Midori’s facade, cracks that will eventually break him. Maple’s actions here are the first step to breaking Midori and truly winning.

And this is shown in full force during the banquet with Mai’s decision, but before that I want to talk about a scene that occurs beforehand.

When the possibility of a human being a part of the dummies is brought into question, the realisation that Mai isn’t the exact same as her doll comes to light. Eventually this leads to the horrible truth that Mai’s hands aren’t actually her hands at all, but rather Midori’s human hands. In a way this is the physical manifestation that Mai’s actions weren’t by her own hands, but rather she was a tool for Midori, playing along with his puppet show. (and yet another mirror to Ranmaru who also had a scene focusing on his hands earlier in the chapter.)

Upon this reveal Mai swears she’ll kill Midori, something missing from Qtaro’s words if she died, instead his resolve is shaken, wondering if they’ll even be able to beat a guy like him. And this leads to the epitome of her arc, the third hint.

When Sara is forced to pick a red coffin she is afraid to make the choice in fear that her logic isn’t even correct. This is where Mai steps in to tell her to pick a red coffin so she can win.

Mai encompasses Ranmaru’s words from the start of the chapter, no longer too scared to die that she can’t even resist Midori’s hold on her, but proving her humanity by taking her life into her own hands to stand up against Midori, to claim her autonomy, because that's what separates a human from a tool. She quite literally made her own choice with the Banquet, allowing both the humans and the dolls an opportunity to make it through together, a possibility opened through the bonds between the humans and dolls, Qtaro and Mai being at the forefront of that.

Now Mai is willingly telling Sara to choose a coffin, even if its at the cost of her life. She isn’t going to allow Midori control over anyone again. The Mai we see before us here is so different from the at the start of the chapter, one who was too afraid to fight back and make and descision for herself. And even as far back as her victim video where she couldn’t even make a choice between which gun she needs to pick,and died as a result of her panicked state, where she shot the wrong gun. The through line of guns being present in both scenarios also adds to this aspect.

Mai proves humanity through actions, because being human means being able to make your own choices, something both Mai and Maple struggled with at first, but also something they ended up demonstrating over the chapter. They proved their humanity by not letting their actions be decided by another, to not be treated like a tool. Because being human means being able to have autonomy in your actions and Mai proved without a doubt that she is human, despite the physical aspect of being a doll. Because while a doll can’t move, talk or feel without someone forcing it, it's nothing but expected for a human.

==================================================================================================

WOOO MAI ANALYSIS DONE!!! only one dummie left!!! hopefully soon???

Also kinda a Maple analysis by mistake LOL hopefully that's okay lmao, the characters are majorly linked to each other so it didn't feel right to just omit her

But yeah hopefully you enjoyed this and it got you to think about Mai and Maple a bit more as characters, if you liked this and its the first one you've seen then I've got more analyses like these on my blog

and of course its not lost on me the fact that its the 2 women dolls that have an arc about their autonomy, and I love how it falls into YTTD's themes of gendered power as a whole

And as of the day I'm releasing this HAPPY ANNIVERSARY 3-1B!!! The best chapter! I hope this counts as a good enough anniversary post lol, the dummies are a major part of 3-1 after all! I'm happy to give more 3-1 content to the world!

As for now though, I hope you enjoyed and see you next time for my Hinako analysis!!!

#your turn to die #yttd #yttd analysis #yttd dummies #yttd spoilers #analysis #character analysis #mai tsurugi #mai yttd #maple yttd #maple #IDK IF I SHOULD TAG IT AS MAPLE OR NOT BUT I DO TALK ABOUT MAPLE A LOT SO I THINK MAYBE I SHOULD?? #Happy Anniversary 3-1B!!

[cvnt4him]

................................................

"woah would you look at that, deku just took out that guy with a single punch!"

"he's so amazing!~"

"you're my hero!!!"

So many people chant, root, and holler for even the slightest glimpse of his attention, even a glance.

"Mr deku, what can you tell us about this villain, you hadn't even put up much of a hassle and yet he appears to be tired!" One report gleams.

It's true. He hadn't done too much, one simple practically, light punch and the criminal was already down, he knew that. Deku knew he was good, he knew others thought he was good. He thrived on that kind of energy.

"oh~, well you know, I'm not one to brag nor bring other people down, criminal or not we're all human." He sings to the reporter, hinting at the fact she gave the measly little lowlife schmuck at best, a promotion to 'villian'. cameras flashing everywhere as he heard a bunch of girlish screams, everyone looks over to see a bunch of fan girls rallying to get an autograph.

Dammit.

Izuku tried so hard not to let his smile faulter, its not that he disliked his fans, really he could never, he knows one of the reasons he's here is because of his fans, and he loves them all equally no matter what. However. scrolling on the Internet, especially as a pro hero it's hard not to go down a loophole of your own fans. Izukus fans are nice, sure. But they're also bat shit crazy.

Doxxing people for disagreeing, assuming he was gay for his best friend dynamite, writing fanfiction about him and his best friend dynamite, assuming he had a new significant other because he changed up his style of clothing??

Really his fans are too much, he loves them, he does. But they are just so...smothering?

As he sees the fans hurrying toward him he tries his hardest to jump away as he was stopped by a little deaf girl who wanted an autograph.

Shit. You can't NOT give a little deaf girl an autograph it'd be bad publicity. he sighs deeply in defeat, knowing how easily persuaded he is, he'll most likely be there standing, on his feet, smiling wide and big for fans, for the next hour and a half.

Izuku sighed deeply through his nose as he finally, after 5 more hours of working, made it back to his bed, that's all he wanted. He didn't bother taking his suit off just simply jumping in his bed and groaning at the comfort he longed for.

He grabbed his phone and opened Twitter.. that was the first mistake of the night, he scrolled through his feed coming across a post of a girl just rambling about her ever lasting love for deku.

He shifted in his bed so now he was laying back on his pillows, turning up the sound to hear your beautifully slurred voice.

"- like bro.. I don't think any of you understand how my NEED for this man is like just.. sigh. I'm about to go crazy bro. If I were given the chance I'd do unholy. Unspeakable. Down right horrendous things to this man, i- aHaAVE YOU SEEN HIS NEW HERO SUIT??" You were talking to your friend who had the idea to start recording you while you were drunk, laughing and snorting at you.

The video was posted by you, the caption read; 'my friend started recording while i was drunk and i randomly went on a rant ab my love for the #1 hero 💀'

He snickered at this, genuinely finding it funny, but sooner or later it registered in his brain what you'd said..you'd do what to him.

Before he knew it he was semi hard, he looked down at his slight hard on confused, there is no way this turned him on?? He had been sent so many videos of his fan girls from all ages going down on a dildo with his name slapped on it, he never found it the least but attractive, just kind of desperate..

He watched the video again, his cock becoming fully erect as he sighed at the uncomfortable feeling of his now leaking, completely hard cock, rubbing against his suit pants.

It had been a while since he'd done something like this.. since he had used someone..he needed this, just to relax. Just a couple of strokes to get him to come, that's all.

He let out a shaky sigh, slowly trailing his thick fingers up and down his clothed cock, earning a light squeak to rip from his throat due to the slight pleasure he felt from the gentle actions.

He knew he needed it, he needed this so badly, but he wouldn't rush it. He hated when he rushed things, he says 'they never get done correctly'.

So he would be patient with himself, gently palming himself over his suit pants, letting breathy sighs leave his slightly dried and chapped lips.

He looked over to his phone to see the paused video...

'oh what the hell.' he thought to himself as he grabbed the phone, angling and holding it close to his ear to hear your voice and the loud laughs that he hopefully tried to blur out of his mind. Focusing on your voice fully.

He held the phone close to his ear closing his eyes listening to your slurred speech, and the hiccups and giggles that left your mouth, he bit his lip as his palming motions began to get harder and more rough, "I would do down right horrendous things to this man." That line stuck with him, that's what made him undo his pants and shimmy them off so he could fully touch his leaking, crying cock.

He groaned in embarrassment and disgust in himself at the sight of his already soaked boxers, why did his cock have to be so leaky!!

He whimpered at the sight, pulling his boxers down just enough to have his cock hit against himself. He wrapped two fingers around his cock and rolled his eyes back, biting his lip to sustain the sound that wanted to come out. He stroked himself slowly, letting the precum on his tip continue to drip down his thick cock.

He had listened to the audio all over again this time fixating on the part where you'd talked about his suit. He had changed up his suit a couple of times, never really straying away from the original concept he had in highschool, the green was always there to stay, and he always liked the fact his suit was more of a jumpsuit kind of thing, but changing it over the years, he went with a tighter fabric for his new and improved suit, removing the bunny ears at the back, and adding a white cape, replacing his huge bulky gloves with just as thick, smaller and well fitted ones, the white the painted his suit was now black.

He hadn't done much to his suit really.

But you and so many others thought it was the sexiest thing in the world.

He loved that, that you loved his suit, he whimpered in a pitchy octave, eyes crossing as he shut them, breaths becoming uneven as he wraps his whole hand around his aching, dripping, cock. It yearned for release, he needed it, it hurt so bad but felt so good he couldn't stop, he was sooo close!

So so close, and yet.. not close enough to get him there. He abandoned all self respect and hope for 'not rushing things' he needed to come and the only way he could is if he really touched himself.

He ripped off the top of his hero suit before rummaging in his bedside drawer to grab a Fleshlight, it was a lot more advanced than your normal average pussy shaped fleshie, it had handle and so many different modes!!! It vibrated and wiggled and had a squirt thingy that shot lube inside to make his cock slippery, not that he'd need it, his cock is like a water fountain with so much cum to give.

He turned it onto its highest setting before settling his twitching cock, dribbling with precum, inside of it.

He couldn't contain the line of moans that ripped out of him, he wanted to really he did, he wanted to keep quiet for his neighbors but he just couldn't, he felt so fucking good, he'd felt that he'd never been this hot or bothered before especially not because of some measly audio that wasn't in any way remotely sexual, and yet he was so close to cumming because of it. This video. This person. You.

You were so close to making him cum.. he was right there bucking his hips up into the contraption, shaking, whilst his whole body spasmed as he threw his head back, sweat dripping from his tired and spent body, he groaned and moaned so loudly it was so lewd, he was so lewd. He couldn't believe what he was doing, he felt so dirty, but in this very moment, he couldn't care. He was so drunk off of the immense amount of pleasure he was receiving that all he wanted, needed, was to cum.

And when he finally released with a high pitched moan, globs of tears leaving his rolled eyes, there was so much, ropes of his white, hot, thick cum squirting inside of the toy. It was still vibrating against his softening cock, it made him so overstimulated yet he couldn't move, his orgasm was so strong he didn't have the energy to take his cock out. He just sat there, holding onto the toy that continuously vibrated and massaged his limp, thick, crying cock, crying, sniffing, and whimpering.

Hell he'd probably already came again without even knowing it, his orgasms had gone on for a while, he still couldn't move, just blissfully laying against his bed, covered in sweat and tears streaming down his reddened freckled face.

As he regained his composure, the overstimulation was more than enough, he hiccuped, wiping his face from the tears and sweat that covered it, as he turned off the toy and tossed it off of his bed, he was half naked, hot, and hungry.

He groaned as he draped one of his arms over his face, feeling the sweat and tears cover his forearm, as he heard the video that had been playing over and over again on repeat. His eyes shot wide open as he scurried to grab his phone. he looked at the video in disgust. Had he really just gone to a new low, and came to this stupid video of a dumb drunk girl complimenting him??

His post nut clarity was always bad, especially because he did some pretty down bad, disgusting, sinful things. But this? Yeah he deserved to suffer for all eternity.

He groaned placing his phone under his pillow as he buried his face in said pillow, squeezing his eyes shut at how hard he'd came, his cock still filthy and sticky with his thick ooey gooey cum, now dirtying his bed.

................................................

AN: he hates himself for how much and how hard he came, he really does.

I'm making a pt 2🤭

#deku smut #deku x reader #izuku is so girlie pop #izuku x reader #boku no hero academia #mha #mha x reader #cvnts-post

[n4talia-chaparro]

"Omg 5 days without posting?! Lmao so funny."

Yeah I get it >|:/

I wanted to make this post cuz a lot of you were so "CoNcERnEd" about me and the allegations made by the anons. And well in case people wanna find "info". I kinda don't care if people wanna keep attacking me and shit but yk. I have to speak up and explain.

So I wanna start by saying that what I did last Thursday and Friday was very retarded and dumb of me and I highly apologize once again. I was not in the right mindset and it was never my intention to ignore anyone's advice. I have been mentally unstable and stressed that I couldn't focus. Yeah. I was having anger issues and a meltdown. I couldn't control them so I'm apologizing for the way I acted that time without thinking straight. It's not easy to be a CU artist because of what's happening and I admit it's not easy for me to be perfect like you guys wanted me to be. I tried everything yet you guys seem to judge and shove words in my damn throat.

About the allegations... the anons were also after one of my moots so I wanted to explain and debunk them. It's giving me a headache and overwhelming the living shit out of me.

(BTW pls I do NOT encourage harassment or any sort of threats to anyone mentioned in this post)

The grooming: this allegation is false. I'm sick of seeing them throwing the allegations around like it was some sort of volleyball-type shit. (I'm A MINOR !!! Not a adult-)

The reason why they were spreading those is because of my grooming situation I had a few years ago when I had 9-11 (and UNSUPERVISED). It all started on amino and I met my groomer. (I'm calling them M cuz yea). M and I were close friends and we used to talk. My groomer was a Krupp x Melvin shipper, a pro-shipper obviously, they would force me to do NSFW roleplay and art based on their favorite ship. (Keep this in mind I was younger at that time and I never knew how to say no to them) and they even guilt-trip me and stuff just make me feel bad and well. They would often force me to ship them too...yikes...

One day we argued and their friends decided to cause drama in the group chat. They pointed fingers at me and called me a predator. Again I was 9. I wasn't aware of what proshipping is until age 12. A lot of shit happened. I got threats, harassment, etc. And at the age of 13-14 I was groomed by someone different um yayy...:/// I was never taught about the internet safety.

And that's where the "Natty is a groomer" bullshit came from :/

I'm 16 now and to this day I keep receiving those rape threats and stuff over my past and then seeing people spreading those is dumb. The anon even went to Linavloger's blog to send a rape threat and told her I was gonna groom her. This is fucking disrespectful. Lina is Younger than me, she's fucking 13. I find it disgusting that you guys choose to tell her that. It's gross for fuck's sake. What is your problem????? For the love of God stop spreading that allegation. Not only you are making me uncomfortable but also the others who were involved. Literally, stop.

My trauma is not for you to joke with it or use it as a shield. It's gross that people are making fun of me for that. No I mean yeah. My past wasn't great because I met people who already sexualized me too many times but it doesn't mean you have to bring it up and tell everyone about it. :"(

The sexualization: The anon mentioned that I sexualized Harold in one of my videos which is again funny yet bullshit because according to them it was because of a pride month pin and small accessories..

When I say pin i meant this- 😭

Like I'm so sorry but how is this sexualizing him? It's a Pride Month pin. A PIN. How the fuck can yall be this stupid. It was an old video and you took it so seriously????? Like what???? Have you read the 12th book??? There's no way you think it's sexualization when it's Harold with an MLM pin.

This also goes to the AGERE subject. I do NOT normalize nor promote ddlg. There's a difference between ddlg/ageplay and an ACTUAL coping mechanism and I'm tired of hearing this bullshit over again like stfu so uh.

Ddlg/ageplay is where random ass adults roleplay as children and do weird shit.

Agere on the other hand is where someone reverts to a young mindset to cope with trauma, stress, severe illness, or disorders. (Mainly a safe way to cope ofc)

These are the differences between them. You cannot just tell me it's the same shit dawg. 😭

The "ripping off" thingy: another thing that I wanna address is about the au :/

The anons that I dealt with were just infini-tree fans/supporters and tree house members. Well idk. They may sound like whiney little cunts but still-- my AU does NOT have any similarity with THAT. Why would I steal ideas from someone who BLOCKED me for no reason and sent her fans after me??? No really how? How can a blocked user steal ideas if they can't see, or interact with the post (like & reblog)? Be real y'all. You may seem ridiculous if you believed those anons cuz none of them didn't pull the evidence out of their ass. 💀

"You need to apologize to her" for what? Dawg I didn't do jack shit to her in the first place LMAO yeah like--- don't get me started on that bs again. I don't wanna hear her damn name, I don't wanna know anything about her aus and shiii-- or anything related to her in my inbox or dm. I do NOT wanna have anything to do with that individual. End of the story. Not trying to be harsh, rude, or anything but like. It's annoying. I don't like to be compared to anyone or deal with the same bullshit.

Mhm yea like man. Idk what else I need to debunk but pls don't believe those anons dawg.

You can't even ask for proof cuz they don't gave any 🥰🥰💀💀💀‼️‼️‼️😭😭😭 LOL IMAGINE FABRICATING ALLEGATIONS Y'ALL ARE SO DUMB 🗣‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥

#just want everyone in the cu community to realize making claims like these is NOT fucking funny at all #idc if you're trolling or playing around. shut the fuck up. rape threats were never funny. #im very bad at explaining. so i apologize if the way i explain seems rushed or hard to understand #i was so stressed and unstable while writing this #natty talks #natty rants #pls read this before saying nonsense or making it out of context #idk if i should tag as CU or not. #ofc the community doesn't give a flying damn about anyone else but themselves #pls leave the the fuck alone. i dont wanna deal with any of you anons or weirdos #FINALLY ADDRESSING THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM OMFG

[lucienne-thee-librarian]

Just to minimize my chances of being genuinely misunderstood OR deliberately misinterpreted, and crucified for something I don't think, How Dare You Say We Piss on the Poor website etc...I'm gonna say this right up top. I absolutely understand why people don't like Thessaly as a character, if anyone does completely unironically stan her as some kind of feminist hero who Did Nothing Wrong uwu, I personally see it as a bit of a red flag. I don't like terfs real or fictional. In a vacuum, I could even completely sympathize and agree with the people who want her cut.

HOWEVER.

It's really something to me to see people clamoring for her to be cut, because she carries and expressed an ugly indefensible prejudice (transphobia) in words towards (1) person. Meanwhile Hob fucking Gadling enacted one of the most violent forms of antiblack racism I can even think of against thousands no, millions of people, the ripple effects of which still affect billions more today. Just a little light idk, profiting off the fucking slave trade and had to be told by someone else that it was bad...and he's a fan favorite.

People are saying Thessally being Dream's love interest reflects badly on him or is somehow endorsement by the narrative (?!?!?!?!?!? Didn't she (SPOILER ALERT AS IF IT MATTERS BY NOW) help participate in his extended assisted suicide? She's not painted as a great person to me just another character what are y'all SMOKING whatever fine. It's fine this is fine.) But shipping Dream with Mr. Former Slaver is not only not verboten or frowned on widely in the fandom but its THEE most popular pairing by far. So...why the difference?

Like where are the same fans who are saying Thessaly shouldn't just be more clearly shown to be wrong, she shouldn't even be in the show at all when it comes to Hobert's crimes??? Yes, transphobia is indefensible. Isn't racism?

And I hear the cries of "it's fiction!!!" Already rallying (if anyone who needs to hear this even sees it lol) to which I say:

HORSESHIT. I KNOW you don't, deep down, really agree because if you did, why get upset about Thessaly being included??? Why does what she said to one person matter if it's Just Fiction You Guyze. Fictional characters are allowed to do bad things and fiction isn't reality sweaty....except when you only apply that standard to fictional racists you like and simp for, but fictional transphobes you don't are SO HARMFUL they shouldn't even be portrayed in fiction.

Like. Give me a big fat BREAK. This looks like bullshit, no? I'm sorry, but I'd love for someone to try and give any other explanation besides one personally offended you or hit home for you, and the other doesn't.

And if that bothers you or you feel like it says something negative about you...idk what you want me to say??? You can't control how other people perceive you and that's how people outside this majority-of-the-fandom bubble see it. You don't need to respond, I just wish and genuinely hope this gives you a moment to think about why fans who ARE bothered by both (and not just paying lip service to being bothered by the one but railing against the other) are so frustrated with people saying everyone is welcome but in practice only bending over backwards for the comfort and emotions of themselves, and people they can easily relate to.

You don't have to like Thessaly (I don't. I find her an interesting antagonist, I don't stan her. And frankly that's not the point of her character) but you'll pardon me for feeling more than a bit cynical and side eying people's motivations for what seems a...pretty obvious double standard, on what fictional crimes related to real world issues matter to y'all, and which clearly don't. Either actually bring the same energy to the table for fictional people who committed atrocities, even if against a group you're not part of and thus don't feel the need to empathize with, or just carry on, but accept that you don't have the SLIGHTEST room to talk about cutting characters who do immoral things. And you also need to accept that you look like a hypocrite when you do.

#thessaly #wanda the sandman #hob gadling #I could've cried sexism!!! Problematic Male vs Female Characters except 1) I don't actually think that's the main reason *here* #2) there are WAY better examples of that particular double standard in this fandom #also i can admit when I'm a bit of a hypocrite or was. #i used to dip my toes into the dreamling stuff too early on #but idk. It just got too sour seeing ppl whitewash (lol I know I'm a comedian) #what he did over and over. And I genuinely had started to wonder #if the show hadn't included that particular crime and I'd just imagined it from the comics because #my memory is shit sometimes and I guess I was naive. I *wanted* to believe someone would talk aboutit #if it had made it in. but ultimately i went back and checked and no #and seeing how the whole fandom behaving affected my non-white mutuals some of whom... #like these are my friends man or ppl I just respect and I can't just. Ignore their feelings and their pov #and act like they werent making points or it doesn't matter #like it's all just fun and games for everyone on the same terms. And seeing how easy it was #for everyone to ignore was so unsettling. I couldn't keep pretending it was just fiction and didn't affect anyone real #Call me a bully a t3rf apologist (fuck you and for the record. no) #a puritan or a Fancop (actually stop comparing #people disagreeing with you online to what cops do. For fucks sake you just make it look like nothing is really real to you outside fandom) #whatever man. Whatever helps you sleep. I'm just gonna block you #if you're clearly sticking your fingers in your ears. engaging with you is a waste of time and energy then #Hell I have sympathy for anyone who doesn't like thessaly #especially trans fans. Especially rn. But lbr that sympathy for a lot of the white trans/queer fans only goes one way!!! #never gets extended to anyone else's issues. Like THATSthe issue. And it's shitty! #(sorry this post is not about me in the confessional lol that's why I put this at the bottom #I just had feelings to get out and yes its my blog but i didn't want to clog the airways)

[godsfavoritescientist]

Biting the bars of my enclosure about autistic ford tonight. There's something about him using vocabulary and turns of phrase that seem "outdated" or "pretentious" that feels so painfully genuine to me. When people say he talks like that just to "try to sound smart" I wish I could explain what it's like to be so ostracized from your peers growing up that you spend all your time reading instead, to the point where you pick up your way of speaking from books instead of from people. And then what it's like for people to call you out for "talking weird" over and over again, not able to wrap their heads around why the fuck you would choose more archaic or technical or formal words than the simpler ones that surely come to everyone's minds first. What it's like to have to dedicate a sizable chunk of attention to filtering through every single word you say out loud in real time before you say it, to make absolutely sure that it isn't a word people will judge you for using or make fun of you for using, just so you'll have a chance of being taken seriously. Learning through trial and error how to filter out the words that other people don't think are normal or casual enough for the conversation, even though for you, the word choice that's "natural-sounding" enough for them is the third or fourth word you came up with when searching for the right way to phrase something in your head. I wish I could explain just how long it takes to say fucking anything after spending a lifetime doing that during every single conversation, and how repetitive and long-winded you end up being when you spend so long coming up with alternative ways of saying every little thing you ever think. And I wish people realized that, at the very least for autistic people and autistic-coded characters, speech that's seen as pretentious is really just the way they talk when they're not putting in the extra effort to filter through every word they say just so others will take the time to listen.

#ford meta #actuallyautistic #everyone go read the wikipedia page for 'stilted speech' right now #long post #ford isnt very good at masking. he doesn't have the kind of (unintentional) autistic coding that is Palatable To Neurotypicals. #definitely looking-too-deeply-at-a-kid-cartoon right now but in *some* ways. a world where the majority of people think its easy to like an #-understand ford is a world that would feel safe for me to unmask in. #i truly truly hate that fully explaining my thoughts on ford requires me to say so much about myself. but god is it such a crime- #-to use a fictional character as a lens through which to try and explain to people how to be more understanding and accepting- #-of things like this. #making fun of stilted speech is so normalized that people don't even realize they're making fun of someone for being weird. #people think its Someone Thinking They're Better Than You but its something people lay awake at night wishing they could stop doing. #and yet they still end up using the Wrong Words and being labeled a Pretentious Asshole just for talking differently than the norm. #maybe there really are people out there who deliberately use big words to try and sound smarter than everyone else. I don't know. #all I know is. in a world where its pretty obvious that people who use a discongruently complex vocabulary get made fun of for doing that. #why would someone deliberately trying to impress people do something that would only get them laughed at. #sorry for being genuine on main. as if its my fault </3

[autistic-katara]

there r fics that make u insane (so amazingly good it’s removed ur sanity) and then there’s fics that make u insane (you need to fistfight the author for how they did a specific thing that caused u to rant for hours)

#i know i just posted that other thing but ffs that is NOT how u handle someone in that situation everyone involved made everything 10x worse #yet it’s being treated like the right thing to do (which again ofc they’re cops they don’t understand harm reduction but still) like #seriously everything’s so forceful like u seriously think forcing ur friend to talk to u or forcing a patient to talk to a therapist under #the threat of being admitted to a psychiatric hospital is gonna make her feel comfortable talking to u? or anyone? she’s just gonna trust u #less and get better at hiding it and speaking of which the taking away all sharp objects thing makes sense in theory but like think abt it #for a minute she confirmed she isn’t suicidal and this is her only way of coping so do not just forcibly take away all her coping mechanism #like yes she is hurting herself but it’s a COPING MECHANISM. she’s coping with something. help her with that don’t just take away her penci #sharpers or whatever (which btw since she’s an adult she could easily buy more stuff and yk learn to hide it better) which again has to be #voluntary it isn’t gonna work if u force someone to do smthn they don’t want to like as ur friend u could’ve made it clear u care abt her #and wouldn’t judge her for anything and r here if she wants to talk don’t just say “you have to talk to me” and casually threaten #hospitalisation when she isn’t ready in the moment like seriously if this wasn’t a badly written fanfic she would completely stop trusting #bcz given that this wasn’t even done out of panic i would like ffs u are NOT doing any of this right #oops sorry ranted abt the bad fic in my tags- #it’s not where the author’ll see it and know it’s about them i don’t feel bad abt it #this was my first time even looking at stuff for this fandom so #cw self harm in tags #idk if i need to tag anything else for that 😭 #fanfic #ao3 #ryan shut the fuck up

[steakout-05]

eeuuaghh i would like everyone to know that i apologise if i have not responded to your reblogs/mentions/posts on tumblr, i have really terrible social anxiety and for some reason people talking to me makes my nervous system think i'm being hunted for sport by a resident evil boss. sorry if i havent responded i'm not being rude i'm just having a panic attack :P

additionally: social anxiety is actually the reason why a lot of my old posts from late 2022 had weird spacing and spelling mistakes. i was too anxious to type properly

#sorry this seems like a random thing to post but it has been bugging me for a little bit now and i want to post it #and by a little bit i mean the entire time i've been on this website #as for the reason i have social anxiety: i went to a really terrible high school full of dangerous people- #-who were literally like. the worst most bigoted people ever. not everyone there was bad of course but 90% of them were- #-and that stunted by social development by 5-6 years and now every time someone talks to me i feel like i'm about to get murdered #also primary school was. bad. the other kids could sniff out the autism in me and didn't like me for it #this post isn't directed towards anyone specifically but also it kinda is because there's a DM from someone- #-that i haven't responded to in literally 8 months and every time i think about it i get anxious #i'm sorry!!! i'm not trying to ignore you on purpose and i want to say something but my brain literally will not let me out of fear :( #i'm not used to getting talked to directly so every time i do my entire nervous system starts screaming and running in circles #it's kinda ridiculous because it's like. come on. why are you having a panic attack over a message on tumblr it's LITERALLY just words on- #-a screen what are you freaking out about. but also it's like hhhhh unfamiliar social situation scary. help. #unrelated to that but i am very worried about what people will think of me and like i know i really shouldn't worry about that- #-because i can't control what other people think of me and it really shouldn't be any of my or their business. but also- #-i have legitimate trauma that backs my fears up and every time someone is even slightly critical towards me my brain just goes- #-''see? it happened again i TOLD you it would happen again. idiot. you shouldn't have said anything'' #and then i hide and cry and lay in bed thinking about how i'm going to die until i suddenly snap out of it and think- #-''wait hang on why should i care. i love being a weirdo on the internet why should i let my anxieties stop me'' #and then it happens AGAIN and it's just a viscous cycle at that point #be silly on the internet -> detect slight criticism -> think everyone hates you again -> go back on your bullshit after 3 days of crying #and it makes sense because that exact same pattern happened to me countless times as a child. #be silly in school -> get made fun of for it -> get hated for it -> rinse and repeat until you think everyone is dangerous and they hate yo #if i could put it in a metaphor it would be like me being a little rabbit who thinks everyone is a scary wolf because of their big shadows- #-even though they're all also rabbits and i'm just paying attention to the scariest parts of them because i only know what wolves look like #trauma does fucked up things to your psyche lemmie tell you #social anxiety #anxiety disorder #i'm literally the ''too scared to order food'' stereotype except it's not a stereotype because it's real and every time i look at the 7/11- #-at my campus i go ''hm but what if they hate me for the food i buy there'' even though they're LITERALLY SELLING IT what is WRONG with me #anyway um. social anxiety sucks and i don't mean to not reply ro everyone who talks to me i am sorr y

[lurking-latinist]

.

#I'm just so tired of posts mocking people without siblings #I know in the grand scheme of things it doesn't mean very much #and I know many of these posts are probably made by teenagers to whom sibling status seems much more important than it will in 10 years #but what if we didn't make negative generalizations about people based on circumstances outside their control at *all*? #sure your upbringing affects your personality in some ways! #but maturing is a process of adjustment and of learning to be more considerate of others for EVERYONE #having siblings does not magically speedrun this process for you #just. next time you see a post about how only children entirely miss some essential aspect of human development #stop and think about people with no siblings that you know #which - if you know me - includes me #stop and think about how you would feel if someone made a post like that about a group to which you belong #stop and think about whether you really think people develop fundamental personality flaws based on whether their parents have other kids #stop and think about how much some of us WANTED to have siblings and didn't #how thrilled we were when we got to spend time with a big family or sleep over at a friend's #how much it means when we're able to say to a friend 'you're like the sister/brother I never had' #(one of the 'sisters I never had' is my college roommate btw) #(so I can't have been THAT bad of a roommate) #stop and think and then decide if that's the attitude toward other people that you want your blog to embody #and if this tag rant has made you think 'wow! only children can't take a joke!' #I promise you that's just me. there are plenty of others that can #I also want to add that this is not directed at anyone in particular. #there are many such posts I've seen and I don't think I know the OPs of any of them #this is just a general reflection on how that whole genre of post makes me feell #*feel #eta: and to be clear there's good-natured joking and there's mean-spirited mockery and I'm not always great at telling the difference

[space-coupe]

-

#okAy so i'm not going to finish writing it i lack the skill n talent but i Must get this out there it's haunting me #i know rpf freaks some ppl out in which case why are u following me i literally made this blog bc i wrote so much goddamn rpf #but anyways. fair warning in advance. n i will delete this once i stop being insane blah blah blah #but god. just obsessed with piarlesteban ideas rn. with charles watching all the alpine stuff we're seeing trickling out now and like #the bittersweet feeling that comes with watching someone you love succeed at the cost of them potentially moving on without you #at least when pierre and esteban weren't talking it wasn't a constant reminder that Technically he's not pierre's oldest friend on the grid #that while he Technically thinks he knows pierre best. he wasnt one of those kids from normandy #is it jealousy? is it fear? is it something else? #after all if he called pierre 'pierrot' on main and started posting tiktoks with how important their friendship is #it would be smth f1 reposts and takes everywhere and makes a situation out of. but esteban can do it naturally. #him not wanting pierre and esteban to fall out again because truly he Does love them both albeit in very different ways because they *did* #all grow up together. but then if they do. he doesn't have to worry about if pierre starts to hesitate more when he's asked who he's #closest to. who his best friend is. doesn't have to worry #plus. plus plus. add in the context of it mirroring /pierre/ feeling like he got left behind while charles #blazed trails in his top team and pierre went back to his junior team who try as they might could never give him that wdc #sorry ive just been listening to smile like you mean it on repeat. and like #and someone is playing a game in the house i grew up in. and someone will drive her around on the same streets that i did #i CAN and i WILL make this about them #esp because im already deep in copium #YO the fact i can edit tags now. fucking SEXY!

[sexybabystevie]

this is to ONE PERSON and one person ONLY. if you're confused, it's not you!

#you know. i saw you posted today from a different account. and it was one i totally forgot about #i didnt even feel like running back this time. was i curious? yes. did i end up looking? yep. #im saying this even though im 98% sure you cant see it but whatever. since when has that stopped me before? #you seemed fine. to say seeing that didnt piss me off would be a lie. oops i guess #i think its funny how the last thing you posted was stolen from me. #today it was one of those tag games we used to do together. your taglist was empty with some excuse of being absent on this app #i cant help but wonder if thats really all of it. if thats the whole story or not. i have a feeling the answer is no #i dont think youll ever understand the impact of what you did to me and the ways that you treated me. how that immensely fucked me up #or how youve basically thrown me to the wolves ever since you emotionally checked out. #you act like i never mattered to you and its been like that for forever. i made so many excuses on your behalf that i never should have. #these days the thought of you makes me go insane. the kind of insane that leaves me up all night and makes me wanna scream at the top #of my lungs. i have been consumed by anguish and hate. yes. im not afraid to say it anymore. i hate what happened and what you did to me #and sometimes i even hate you. and i dont even feel bad about it. im so over that because if theres anything i deserve after this hell then #its the capability to hate. for once in my life. #i saw your post and wondered if you thought of me. and i hope you did. i hope you thought of me and at the very least it stung. #because whether you want to admit it or not i was someone good. i bent over backwards for you every other day. try finding someone to do #everything that i did for you that you never appreciated. try finding someone who will care as much as i did about someone who couldnt be #bothered to tell me happy birthday. i dare you. because im tired of being sad that youre not here. im tired of being the one whos mourning #im so over it actually. because really i did so much for you. i gave up so much to be a good friend and it was never enough. i genuinely #cared about you. im not going to torture myself anymore by overanalyzing your posts or by thinking that i was nothing to you #because in one way or another youll miss me. and i hope the feeling is hell. #in the wise and paraphrased words of taylor swift. karma only comes back around to those who deserve it #in other words ill be fine #em speaks #tw vent ish #sorry to everyone else although i applaud you for being nosy lmao. gotta have my girlboss moment <3

[louisa-gc]

how to start reading again

from someone who was a voracious reader until high school and is now getting back into it in her twenties.

start with an old favourite. even though it felt a little silly, i re-read the harry potter series one christmas and it wiped away my worry that i wasn't capable of reading anymore. they are long books, but i was still able to get completely immersed and to read just as fast as i had years and years ago.

don't be afraid of "easier" books. before high school i was reading the french existentialists, but when getting back into reading, i picked up lucinda riley and sally rooney. not my favourite authors by far, but easier to read while not being totally terrible. i needed to remind myself that only choosing classics would not make me a better or smarter person. if a book requires a slower pace of reading to be understood, it's easier to just drop it, which is exactly what i wanted to avoid at first.

go for essays and short stories. no need to explain this one: the shorter the whole, the less daunting it is. i definitely avoided all books over 350 pages at first and stuck to essay collections until i suddenly devoured donna tartt's goldfinch.

remember it's okay not to finish. i was one of those people who finished every book they started, but not anymore! if i pick up a book at the library and after a few chapters realise i'd rather not read it, i just return it. (another good reason to use your local library! no money spent on books you might end up disliking.)

analyse — or don't. some people enjoy reading more when they take notes or really stop to think about the contents. for me, at first, it was more important to build the habit of reading, and the thought of analysing what i read felt daunting. once i let go of that expectation, i realised i naturally analyse and process what i read anyway.

read when you would usually use your phone. just as i did when i was a child, i try to read when eating, in the bathroom, on public transport, right before sleeping. i even read when i walk, because that's normally a time i stare at my screen anyway. those few pages you read when you brush your teeth and wait for a friend very quickly stack up.

finish the chapter. if you have time, try to finish the part you're reading before closing the book. usually i find i actually don't want to stop reading once i get to the end of a chapter — and if i do, it feels like a good place to pick up again later.

try different languages. i was quickly approaching a reading slump towards the end of my exchange year, until i realised i had only had access to books in english and that, despite my fluency, i was tired of the language. so as soon as i got back home i started picking up books in my native tongue, which made reading feel much easier and more fun again! after some nine months, i'm starting to read in english again without it feeling like a huge task.

forget what's popular. i thought social media would be a fun way to find interesting books to read, but i quickly grew frustrated after hating every single book i picked up on some influencer's recommendation. it's certainly more time-consuming to find new books on your own, but this way i don't despise every novel i pick up.

remember it isn't about quantity. the online book community's endless posts about reading 150 books each year or 6 books in a single day easily make us feel like we're slow, bad readers, but here's the thing: it does not matter at all how many books you read or what your reading pace is. we all lead different lives, just be proud of yourself for reading at all!

stop stressing about it. we all know why reading is important, and since the pandemic reading has become an even more popular hobby than it was before (which is wonderful!). however, there's no need to force yourself to be "a reader". pick up a book every now and then and keep reading if you enjoy it, but not reading regularly doesn't make you any less of a good person. i find the pressure to become "a person who reads" or to rediscover my inner bookworm only distances me from the very act of reading.

#louisa-gc #academia #studyblr #aesthetic #book #books #reading #read #advice #help #university #study #uni #library #bibliophile #it girl #that girl #habits #booktok #booktube #bookstagram

[gojoest]

𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐀 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐄 — gojo satoru

MDNI, f! reader, she/her pronouns used, wc: 3.3k, flashback of how you met (1st part of the fic, past tense used, then we jump back to present, divider used to separate the two timelines. both take place on his birthday btw), suguru makes an appearance (as satoru’s wingman :3), established relationship (you’re married & have a daughter), reader wears a dress, first time face sitting + riding (oral, f! receiving), pet names (baby, my love), he cums in his pants, breeding implied at the end (sort of, to avoid spoilers)

a/n: happy birthday to my biggest mental illness ♡

side note: if the story of how you met sounds familiar to you, please note that it was from one of my talk posts from a while ago & i decided to make use of it : )

what gojo satoru wants — he always gets.

after all, it’s how he made you his as well.

“satoru, you’re staring way too hard at her”, suguru nudged him on the arm.

“think she noticed, too?”, satoru chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck, ears turning slightly red from embarrassment, unsure if it was because he got caught or that it was too obvious he was checking you out.

“very likely. i mean, it’s hard not to notice an annoying pair of blue laser beams persistently invading your space”, suguru mocked. “are you going to talk to her?”

“yes”, satoru firmly replied, without peeling his eyes from you, “i’ll ask her out, i think”

“hey, hey. slow down there”

“nope”, satoru shrugged, almost like a stubborn child disobeying his parent, “i’ve made up my mind — i really want to make her mine”

it was a pure coincidence, or some might say fate, that you ended up in the same restaurant — he was there celebrating his birthday with a small circle of friends while you were present to honor your colleague that had just gotten a promotion at work.

satoru’s eyes relentlessly followed your every move, every gesture, from the moment you walked in and settled on the table next to his. it was rather unusual for him to be this interested in someone simply upon sight, in fact, even desiring to pursue something with someone so immediately. it was always the other way around — women would flock to him because of his looks and peculiar behavior, and of course — his money — but he would turn them down without batting an eye. love and seeking romance were never a priority for him, he did not have time nor any interest in them. but here he was, contradicting himself, being blatantly distracted by your presence while somehow trying to simulate an active conversation with his friends, more than frequently averting his gaze to look at you, his brain busy coming up with a plan to get your number by the end of the night.

it didn’t take him too long to finally make his move. he stood up from his chair and walked over to your table, stopping right behind your seat.

“excuse me”, he leaned in, placing one hand at the edge of the table and the other — at the back of your chair, “hello”, his face mere inches away from yours. taken aback by the way he, a complete stranger, had the guts to get this close to you, you turned to face him with a questioning look.

“i felt like i would regret it for the rest of my life if i didn’t come say hi to you”, he spoke.

truth be told, despite being astounded and a bit put off by his approach, you were slightly intrigued. he was handsome, pretty even — like that one oddly eye-catching cloud in a sky full of thousands that you notice as soon as you look up. the white henley shirt he was wearing made the blue in his eyes pop even more, the v-neck revealing a little bit of his well-crafted chest, just enough to leave you tiny bit wondering about the ridges of his abs beneath.

as much as the scenery up close made your cheeks feel hot, his boldness rubbed you up the wrong way, too much to let it just slide, and you snapped. “is that so? well, now that you’ve said your hi, you can go back to your table and live with no regrets for the rest of your life”, you rolled your eyes skeptically, pushing his hand off the table.

“oh, i am sorry”, he chuckled, brushing his hair back with a hand, “but there are three more things i need to do before leaving, i’m afraid”

you raised an eyebrow, questioning.

“first, let me introduce myself — i am gojo satoru, also known as the man to be your boyfriend, then your husband, and then the father of your children”, he smugly said. your eyes widening at the audacity of his declaration that left you at a loss for words. “second, i hope you don’t mind introducing yourself as well — as you are to be my girlfriend, then my wife, and then the mother of my children — it’s only natural that i know your name”, he continued, “and last but not least — i am not leaving until you give me your number so we can make this all work”

wow. this man was really fucked in the head, you were sure of it — who in the right mind would speak such nonsense to someone they just met? “you have to be joking, right?”, you laughed in genuine disbelief.

“no. i am dead serious”, he replied in a heartbeat.

“is this your move? you pull this on everyone you find remotely attractive?”, you narrowed your eyes.

“actually—”, suguru interrupted, placing a hand on satoru’s shoulder as he approached from behind, “no”, he spoke. “believe me when i tell you this — he’s never been this smooth in his entire life. i know he probably came off a bit creepy, considering the boldness of his actions — hell, even i am creeped out because it’s pretty unusual for him to act like this”, he laughed, glancing at satoru to let him know that he got his back on this. “but, what i’m trying to say is — my friend here seems to really like you as i’ve never seen him be so intense and interested in anyone before. he’s also a birthday boy today — so could you at least give him a chance before turning him down so quickly? you can come sit with us before you make up your mind on whether you want to give him your number or not?”

you thought for a second, weighing the options in your mind — he was pretty, although he annoyed you a little bit by being all bossy and arrogant as if you were compelled to belong to him just because he said so. but there was just something about him you couldn’t quite put your finger on that made you question yourself. were you actually drawn to him? you could say “no” and never hear from him again, occasionally pondering over the what-if’s and should-have’s from this night; or you could say “fuck it” and see where this strange encounter goes, and live your life without regrets — as he would say. there — he was already getting under your skin…

“well”, you sighed, “guess i’m down for that”

by the end of the night not only did you give him your number, but also a promise for a date the next day — the first of many to follow after.

“careful, you’ll wake her up”, you whisper, leaning against the doorframe of your 3-year old’s room and watching your husband place a soft peck on your daughter’s forehead.

“can’t help it”, he speaks quietly, “she looks like an angel”, before fixing the blankets around her, making sure she’s tucked in all cozily. “the nanny said she cried for papa while we were gone”, he puts a hand over his mouth to stop his lips from trembling, his eyes filled with nothing but love and tenderness, welling up and flowing from the corners.

“she’s such a daddy’s girl”, you sigh, a soft smile present on your face, “next year we can stay home and invite everyone else over — that way we won’t have to worry about missing her bedtime”.

“yea”, he hums, “let’s do that next year”, giving her one last kiss before turning off the night lamp and tiptoeing to you. “come on”, he puts a hand at the small of your back as you both walk out of the room.

“do you remember”, satoru speaks softly into your ear while walking behind you on your way to your shared bedroom, his front flat against your back, the hand at the small of it now circling around to rest over your navel, while the other — reaches for the handle of your bedroom door to push it open, “the night we first met on my birthday?”, he continues after carefully guiding you inside.

you stop in the middle of the room, his arms still wrapped around you from behind, your hands resting over his and playing with his knuckles.

“how can i not?” you chuckle, tilting your head back to let him rest his chin on your forehead, “that was one hell of a fortune telling you pulled on me back then”

“but i was right, no?”, he brushes his lips on your forehead before leaving a soft peck, “see — you’re all mine now, just like i said”, and then another, ”i made you my girlfriend first”, and another, “then i gave you my last name”, and a fourth one, “and then you gave me a beautiful daughter, made me a father”, before turning you around to face him.

“you partly owe it to suguru though — he eased me into the situation, unlike you”, you reply, humbling him like you always do. your head is nestled on his broad chest as one of his hands caress the back of it. still in his embrace, he slowly walks you towards the bed. sits at the edge of it and straddles you on his lap. his palms finding their way to the plush of your thighs draped over his, caressing them tenderly but needily as his fingertips press and then release against your flesh in quick repetitive motions.

“this is because i asked him to give me a hand in case you cut me off”, he admits, tilting his head to meet your lips, not to kiss but just to keep them brushing against each other as you speak. he loved doing this a lot.

“oh?”, you gasp into his mouth, pretending to be shocked to your core, “you wanted me so much that you of all people, the gojo satoru, had to ask someone else for help?”

“you have no idea. if that hadn’t worked, i would’ve fallen on my hands and knees and begged you to take me”, one of his hands reaching the side of your face, playing his fingers on the strands of your hair covering your cheek before tucking them behind your ear.

“hmm”, you doubt, “is that so?”, nuzzling your nose against his.

“mhmm”, he nods, “there’s nothing i wouldn’t do for you, i thought you knew that by now. it kind of hurts my feelings that you doubt me actually”, he acts offended, pursing his lips and turning his head to the side to face away from you.

“oh my, what have i done now”, you knit your brows and press your cheek against his, pretending to be very, very sorry about what you just said.

“you made the birthday boy sad”, he huffs a silly, somehow obviously forced, pout, “you’ve got to make it up to me somehow”

“i’d do anything to make the birthday boy smile again — just say the word”, you sweetly pamper, patting the top of his head.

“really?”

“really.”

“anything?”

“anything.”

“you promise not to go back on your word?”

“i promise.”

he pulls his cheek away from yours and looks you in the eyes, the blue in his shining with a darker shade of mischief now. and considering the smug smile on his face, you sigh — perhaps you just got yourself played, falling face down into his little trap.

“then”, he points at his own face, “sit on it”

to say you were surprised by his request would be a lie. he’s many times tried coaxing you into doing this in the past but somehow you managed to avoid it, part of you still shying away from it. it’s not like his tongue has never been inside you before. but riding it as if it were his cock seemed way more obscene in your head than anything you two have ever done previously — and you’ve done pretty much a lot.

“well”, you sigh in defeat, seems like the time has finally come, “today’s your lucky day”, you say as you get up from his lap and turn your back — a signal for him to unzip your dress — to which, of course, he immediately complies.

“as it should be”, his crafty fingers work the slider down, slowly peeling the dress off your body and letting it fall on the floor, followed by your lace thong and bra, “it’s my birthday after all”

“the way you always find a way to make things go your way gets on my nerves so much”, you turn around again and push him on the bed and slowly climb on top of him to straddle his chest.

“make a wish before you blow the candle”, you look down at him, your pussy close to his face, the scent of you tickling his nostrils, and he, instinctively almost, takes a deeper breath, rolling his eyes back and hissing with delight.

“freak”, you quickly look away, embarrassed, but he cups your cheeks, forcing you to look at him again, “i want you to look at me as you ride my face”, his voice comes out breathy, “will you do that for the birthday boy?”

you nod into his palms, “you’re insufferable” — “suffocate me then”, he coos through a grin, grabbing your knees to pull you forward until you’re above his face.

“jerk”, you say, but softly, as you lower your cunt on his willing mouth, landing your softness on his face in slow motion, immediately earning a throaty groan from him that shudders through your pussy lips.

satoru breathes deeply in and out with your heat on his mouth, the scent of you hitting his lungs and even below, reaching all the way down to his groin to further nurture his cock already throbbing in his slacks. his hand reaching down to unbuckle them slightly, to give more space for his hard-on to grow freely.

“mowe”, he muffles incoherently into your pussy, grabbing a handful of your ass cheeks to push you against his face, tilting his head up and down, jutting his jaw up and out to meet you.

you whimper at the friction, your clit bumping and rubbing against his nose as his lips are kissing your folds, his tongue slowly poking at your entrance with the tip before darting in — twirling around your walls — and out.

“nghh…s-sa-t-to—”, you barely cry out his name, tugging at his hair, mercilessly pulling him into your heat. as much as you hated to admit it, you loved this position. your embarrassment long gone and forgotten, you ride his face in a haze, your pussy getting wetter against his mouth and your movements — faster and harder each moment.

“heawen on my fongwue”, he groans. if he could speak properly right now, he would probably make the nastiest, dirtiest remarks, shamelessly walk you through every single thing he was feeling as you rocked your hips back and forth, grinding on his face. he would probably say something about your boobs, too. how they looked so pretty jiggling ever so slightly from the movement. he can’t speak right now, yes, but he can still get his thoughts reach you through actions — his hands run along your belly, gripping your breasts from below, squeezing and squishing them inside of his palms.

you clutch his hands with yours, “i can’t hold this position for too long”, and force them down on your hips for support. you hear him say something through a loud groan but it’s barely recognizable — most likely just him cursing “fuck” and “baby” from pleasure under your pussy, but also from the ego boost you just gave him — that he can make you weak but at the same time desperate enough to want to continue — despite your hips giving up — not only with his cock but his mouth alone, too.

you let him take over as you chase your high, weighing on his face as his hands grip on your hips, dictating your every move, composing the tune of your hips. his tongue is no more sliding in and out as he makes you grind harder on his face — it stays in, continuously licking your sweet spot clean.

“f-fuck, fuck, fuck…”, you curse loudly, reaching your hands to grab the head of the bed and hammer your pussy harder into his face, squeezing every last drop of strength left in your already cramping muscles until you cum, shuddering on his mouth.

“mfff”, he groans throatily into your hole, sucking and slurping your juices. his hips buck in the air, helplessly searching for friction to soothe his aching cock. his half-unbuckled pants are drenched with precum, leaking out from his tip through his boxers and out through the cloth of his pants, visibly staining them.

you can’t see but it’s easy to figure out from the way the bed bounces up and down as his ass meets the mattress after every time his hips fall down. “how cute”, you utter as you try to calm down your breathing, cunt still resting over his face.

his eyes are half closed, rolling back and hiding their blue away. all he needs is a little push, a little rub, you know it. you know it by the way his tongue has stopped moving inside you, by the way his hands have loosened the grip on your flesh, by the way his shortened moans have grown into one long and steady groan coming from the bottom of his throat — his entire brain solely focused on the muscles of his lower body that is searching, almost beggingly, for relief.

you lean your upper body back a little, just enough to make it easier to reach his shaft while still sitting on his face. “since you’re the birthday boy”, you drag your words out as you place your hand on his clothed cock, feeling the wetness that’s emerged from beneath against your palm, “i’ll give you a hand.”

his ass cheeks tense and squeeze as he presses his hips against your touch, ferociously rubbing his clothed cock on the flesh of your open palm. his groans get louder as he bucks his hips under your hand, pushing them up to meet your hand harder and faster each time — just the way he forces his cock into your tight cunt as he nears — until the last three thrusts that he always prolongs in order to properly and completely pump his seed out.

the inside of your hand feels hot against his clothed cock as he seeps himself out, the stickiness of his cum absorbing itself into the material of his pants and emerging through it to reach the skin of your palm.

you lift yourself up a little only to plop your body down next to his. his mouth, cheeks, chin, even his nose, are covered in his spit and your cum, all mixed in.

“shit, baby”, he laughs, breathing deeply in and out of his mouth, overwhelmed by the whole experience, “what the hell did you just do to me”

“do you really need me to verbalize what just happened”

“yes”

“no”, you slap his cheek with the back of your hand, softly, before rolling on your side to rest your head on the left side of his chest, kissing it tenderly. “happy birthday”

“it really is”, he whispers, tracing a heart shape over the skin of your exposed cheek with his fingertip, “with you, it always is”

“did your wish come true by any chance?”, you tilt your head to look at him.

“not yet. but i’ll work on it later tonight. for now, i’ll let you catch your breath”

“wait, wait.”, you raise a brow, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“my love”, he clears his throat, “do you remember how i said, when we first met, that you’d be the mother of my children?”

“yea? am i not?”

“children”, he stresses.

“oh.”, it finally hits you.

“one more to go”

#ઈઉ — ai writes #[ ♡ ] — satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru smut #gojo smut #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut