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#there’s more and they’re all listed in my intro post but i have to drive somewhere now so
alwaysonlineau · 7 months
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I’m not sure why my posts aren’t showing up in tags but hopefully this one will? If it does, hi, if you like any of the tagged ships/dynamics, check out my account for a fun revamp of an old au I made in 2019!
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Be My Druidess - Eddie Munson X Fem-reader
AU 90’s Eddie & Fem- Reader (mostly referred to affectionately as Kitten, no use of Y/N). Eddie takes girlfriend (reader) go to watch your favourite band, Type O Negative in concert. You get too excited and do something impulsive, it drives Eddie crazy with jealousy causing him to get very possessive, needing to show everyone you're his girl.
Warnings- SMUT - Over 18’s ONLY, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!! M-F (P in V) unprotected, cream pie, fingering, Squirting, Dom! Eddie & Sub! Reader, Mean! Eddie, Possessive! Eddie, Jealous! Eddie, (slight) Degrading, (slight) Humiliation, Orgasm Denial, Public Exposure, Public sex, Choking, Daddy Kink, Breeding Kink, Mentions of reader being Bratty, Drug & Alcohol use Eddie & Reader (Weed & Beer). Reader has nipple piercings. Eddie has a PA piercing.
Word count- 3.8K
Authors Note-Sorry this took so long to write and post after I hinted it all those months ago. Life got crazy like it does sometimes so apologies. Also I met our man JQ and it spurred me on to finish it at 2:30am the day after I met him.
PLEASE DO NOT REPOST TO OTHER PLATFORMS WITHOUT MY PERMISSION 😈
However please REBLOG , COMMENT & LIKE my posts if you enjoyed them. I love feedback so I can grow as a writer. I have a tag-list going so please inbox me if you wish to get added to my tag-list when I post new content.
❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤
Eddie had got you tickets to your favourite band tour for your birthday, Type O Negative. The dark grunge, gothic, sexual undertones igniting a fire in you as soon as you heard the sultry tones of Peter Steele's deep, gravely voice. Only encouraged by how attracted you were to him. Hugely tall stature, gloomy outlook, long black silken hair, muscular frame and known openly for his eagerness to please the women he chose to pleasure, to serve. Topped off with the rumours of his huge cock, you were completely sold. You begged Eddie to get you both tickets for months, and he’d surprised you, a week before the gig. Stubs now in his hands, after driving to the city after a long shift at the garage on the release date to queue in the rain, all to surprise you. To see your pretty ruby lips fall open in awe, he could see the hearts appear in your eyes already.
Excited, you dressed to impress. Numerous guys keep staring at you in your skimpy outfit. Eddie is more than proud to show you off as his girl. At the end of the day you’re a hot goth/alt chick and it made the guys drool. You wore your best band shirt, cut up to show more cleavage than should be legally allowed in public, a pvc skater skirt and your new demonic platforms, torn fishnet stockings held up by a black suspender belt.
Eddie knows you’re crushing hard on the lead singer and can tell you're getting horny and turned on, fidgeting as they’re run onto the stage. Eddie lifts you into his broad, strong shoulders for a better view when they play the intro to your favourite song, “Be my Druidess”. As the drum beat kicks in, Eddie starts to bounce up and down causing a criminally delicious friction across the crotch of your thong. The back of Eddie’s neck bumping your clit on every bounce to the beat.
Your thighs start to clench and Eddie notices, your pussy throbbing, he can probably feel your pounding heartbeat through your core down his spine. His hands grip your shins as you feel your sweetness seep through the thin fabric of your panties onto his neck. Hands tight, fingers clasping his hair, his skull to keep you grounded.
Peter Steele notices you and points you out in the crowd, the eye contact alone causing you to fall over the edge into euphoric bliss. Feeling high, impulsive and incredibly horny, all amplified by sharing a few joints with Eddie on the ride to the venue. You flash your bare chest to the stage (after deciding on going braless earlier, something Eddie loved). Showing everyone your perfect supple tits, shiney metal bars catching the stage lights, glistening in the darkness like stars. The erotic image of your bare chest and nipple piercings projected on the massive screens on either the side of the stage for all to see. The band loves it. Peter loves it more. The crowd loves it even more, a hurricane of cheers roars up from the audience. Eddie hates it.
Your cheeks flush red with a blush, caught up in the scandal, all eyes in the room falling on you. The man beneath you is furious. Jealous twists in his stomach, ripping through him uncontrollably sweeping his mind into frenzy. He squeezes your shins in a claw-like grip, fuelled by the envy of everyone’s eyes on you. Admiring the curves of your womanly shape, his Venus incarnate. Aphrodite in the flesh. To him you were his goddess. Your exquisite body was his to worship only! The soft slopes of your breast, the ample curves of your hips that were now on show to the world, or what felt like the world crammed into the tiny venue. What started out as a playful tease quickly became his own personal hell. Hazy headed and caught up in the moment with your inhibitions low, but the repercussions of your actions had become a harrowing punishment you were going to find out. He ripped you down from his shoulders and back on your feet, landing to look him square in the face. His usually soft chocolate brown eyes, swallowed by huge ebony irises, full of anger. The green-eyed monster inside shining through the deep black.
“They can look, but they can’t touch Baby… I’m only yours” you muttered with a kiss to his chapped bitten lips, trying to save yourself from the consequences of your earlier actions. No softness was returned, the same stare locked on your eyes. A sick deprived thought pops into his mind.
“Princess” he growled in your face. Your eyes locked in fear. “You’re right, you are MINE. And you belong to ME. And I think I need to remind you of this. So you’re gonna watch this shitty band you love so much and you’re gonna cum on my fingers while they watch… While they ALL watch” Eddie whispers in your ear, lips and teeth biting the shell. You stand there frozen, unable to move. Slack jawed, eyes wide with fear, your core getting slicker with every word Eddie huffs out. You’d never seen this side of Eddie before, sure he’d gotten moody at a bar if some guy got a little too close for comfort. But a few choice words, mostly consisting ending with a “fuck off” and a swift middle finger in their direction. Then once they’d left he was golden, but this was different. A possessive darkness had overcome him and you couldn’t help but love how it made you feel. Wanted. Owned. HIS.
Eddie’s deft hands turn you back to face the stage, your back pushed flush to his lean chest. Eddie’s left hand holds your chin, forcing your face forward in shame, directly at the object of your desire. His right hand snakes down your chest over your soft stomach, drawing linguine patterns across your goose pimpled skin, before dripping down over your barely clothed soaked cunt. “Actually, bad girls get punished. Maybe I won’t let you cum at all, maybe I’ll edge you till you beg. Beg for MY cock to put you out of your pathetic misery. All whiny…needy. ‘Till you cry those big crocodile tears cause your little cunt aches, ‘cause you know I’m the ONLY one who can make you CUM. Make YOU feel that GOOD. Fucked out and cockdrunk. ALL. FOR. ME. YOUR Daddy”. Heat pools in your sopping cunt, thighs sticky from your sweet nectar, leaking through your tiny thong.
Calloused fingers run agonising circles over your swollen bud through the thin fabric of your thong for what feels like an eternity. Before pushing the flimsy material aside to meet your drenched pussy. Sliding his fingers through your folds a few times spreading your slick from your entrance up to your pulsing clit. Dipping his middle finger in your dripping entrance, he groaned in pleasure at just how wet you were, Your soft gummy walls sucking him in. Stretching your hole he pushed a second finger in and began thrusting them in and out, caressing that special spot only he could reach.
Gasps fell from your open mouth, lost in the crowd of screams and bass filling the venue. Your eyes screwed shut with every pass of Eddie’s nimble fingers surging you towards your ultimate high. Feeling your pussy walls starting to clench and contract as you approached nirvana. Moments from release, Eddie’s touch left you completely. Edging you just he promised.
Your eyes shoot open as you lose your euphoria, eyes landing back on the stage. “Please, Eddie.I wanna cum so bad” you whine.
“I told you, Kitten. Only good girls get to cum. And you’ve been far from good.” Eddie smirked in your ear. Sliding his finger back into your soaked folds, back up to your tingling bundle of nerves. Again feverish chills ran through your body, as Eddie mercilessly rubbed tight circles over your throbbing clit with his thumb and his thick fingers fucked up into your tight hole.
Tears welled in your glassy eyes as the bolts of lightning pleasure shot through you,whimpering trying your hardest to obey. Your hearing started to faze out as your only focus was to hold back your orgasm from overtaking you. Your body started to twitch as the feeling became too much. Your abused cunt spasming around Eddie’s cruel rapid thrusts. Gasping for air, your vision started to white out. Unable to hold back any longer you flung your head back into the crook of Eddie’s shoulder as cum gushed out your pulsating cunt. Incoherent apologies fell from your mouth as your cum ran down your thighs. “Mmmmm… Sssorry, I’m…Mmmm…Sorry, Daddy… Mmmm…couldn’t hold it any longer. It’s too gggooooddd” your moans gasped out. Breathless you panted, fucked out in the middle of the crowd. Your cheeks flushed red with embarrassment, standing shamefully in a puddle of your own nectar. Eddie cruelly laughed into your ear.
“Told you weren’t allowed to cum, Kitten. You’ve made such a mess on yourself and Daddy’s fingers'' Eddie teased, the prominent hard bulge digging into your ass and he curled himself around your slight frame. Removing his hand from your mound, he brought them up to your mouth. “SUCK”. It was a simple instruction and you immediately obeyed, not wanting to annoy Eddie further. Eddie pushed his fingers far into your wet mouth, your tongue wrapping around the thick probes. “Mmmm.. thank you Daddy” you whimpered. “Tastes so sweet”. “Yeah, you do Kitten, give Daddy a taste” Your hand instantly slipped downward and into the front of your drenched panties.
Swirling your nibble fingers around your wet folds collecting your slick. Once sufficiently soaked in your juices, you drew them to Eddie's waiting lips. Pushing them through the threshold onto his pierced tongue. Feeling the metal bar under your fingertips, reminding you of the sinful memories of it pressed on your core, causing another shudder down your spine. “Mmmmm Princess, you are especially sweet tonight. Is this ‘cause Daddy’s being mean to his Kitten?” Eddie cooed, licking and sucking the cum from your fingers. You nodded in response, mouth agape with lust, eyes lost in Eddie’s blown out obsidian pupils.
Eddie grabbed your hand and pulled towards the back of the venue, fighting against the waves of people surging towards the stage. Hand gripped tight in his, interlocking fingers forcing you along. Landing at the back corner of the venue, Eddie forcefully pushed you against the wall. “Need you Kitten. NEED you NOW” Eddie growled through gritted teeth. Hiking you up and onto his thighs, your legs naturally wrapped around his waist, ankles locking, your pressed back supported against the rough of the stone wall.
Impatiently he unbuckled his belt, the metal clanking being drowned out by the bass reverting off the walls. Popping the button of his dark jeans and pulling his zipper down, exposing the very angry tent in the front of his charcoal grey boxers. A wet stain of pre-cum teasing what was waiting inside. Looking down where your bodies met, you bit your lip in anticipation as Eddie freeing his throbbing cock from its confines. “Sooo pretty Eddie” your open mouth moaned, biting your lip, almost drooling at the sight. Eddie was BIG. And THICK. At least eight inches of a beautiful pale porcelain pink, ridged with a prominent vein running on the side, the head a deliciously mauve colour. The slit dribbling with precum adorned with a ring through the end. Your favourite piercing of his for sure, his PA. Licking your lips, you reach down between your bodies to grip Eddie’s cock. A harsh slap handed on your hand batting you away from the object of your desires. “No. You don’t get to play. To decide. This is for me, cause you’re MINE. And you need putting in your fucking place. Silly Kitten forgetting who she BELONGS too.”
Pushing your thong to the side Eddie rutted ruthlessly into your tight wet cunt. Giving you no time to adjust. The action stole the breath from your chest. Stunned you took what Eddie gave you. Hard thrusts from his sharp hips into the plush fat of your thighs setting a relentless pace. Every stab with his cock, took more air from your lungs. Your head started to drown in pleasure. Overwhelmed senses, your skin felt on fire, ears ringing from the deep bass, vision blacking out with every pass of Eddie’s hard cock against the spongy spot inside. The metal ring gliding furiously against your g-spot. Quivering in Eddie’s arms, your thoughts consumed by him. Only him. He was the sun to your moon, heaven to your hell, devil to your angel. And you were HIS. Your love is an engulfing black hole. He’d sucked you inside with no escape. And you were perfectly okay with your fate.
Dragging you back into reality, Eddie’s calloused fingers wrapped around your throat, light pressure squeezed at the sides. Your breath hitched in your throat as the blood restricted under Eddie’s fingers. Your eyes closed as you succumbed to the ethereal bliss. Dizzy and lightheaded the fire inside your cunt burned even hotter. White hot sparks fizzing inside. Pushing you ever close to the edge.
Incoherent words between throaty gasps and moans poured from your lips, Eddie’s eyes fixed down where you met as you fell apart above. You buried your head in the crook of Eddie’s neck. Swallowing his the smell- tobacco, leather and spice cologne, an underlying hint of weed mixed with his apple shampoo that lingered in his hair and the most enthralling of all, Eddie’s natural musk, his sweat. You licked a stripe up the column of Eddie’s neck, lost in the subspace you’d fallen into. Eddie groaned in satisfaction. “Yours Eddie. I’m YOURS Eddie” you mumbled back into his solid, thick neck.
“Yeah, that’s right Kitten. You’re mine and you make me feel so good. Do you feel good? Is Daddy making you feel good?” Eddie breathlessly panted back. “Mmmm yes Daddy, feels so good. Daddy always makes me feel so good, always takes care of me.” you moaned back between breaths.
“Always Kitten” Eddie’s gaze softened slightly, his usual loving self crawling back through the darkness that had clouded his mind. That award winning smile creeping back onto his lips. The curtain of Eddie’s hair that shut out the world fell forward as your lips locked in passion. Messy and chaotic, teeth bashing, misjudged lip alignment, tongues battling for dominance. Burying each other's groans and breaths. Your hands clawed at Eddie’s sturdy shoulders and thick neck, begging for contact, gripping tight with a need to be even closer.
The coil in your stomach, still tightening evermore. Fanning the flames that licked your insides, burning hot lighting the fuses of the fireworks held in your core. All the time Eddie’s thrusts never faulted, determined on hunting both of your pleasure. Engulfing passion overcoming your bodies, as the only things that existed in this moment were you two. Ignoring the noise of the crowd, the heat of the venue, and the very compromising position you were in. Gasping for air, Eddie broke your intense kiss. “I’m close Kitten, need you to cum again for me. Need you to soak my cock. Claim what’s YOURS. Show everyone here I’M YOURS and YOU'RE MINE.” Eddie’s words whipped you back to this realm. Your toes curled in your boots, as Eddie’s fingers found your swollen bud once again. “Hmmm Eddie, make me cum, wanna cum again for you Daddy, wanna soak your pretty cock” you nodded back, glassy eyes like pearls. Eddie’s finger worked tirelessly rubbing hard figures of eight on your clit, using your own release to slicken the friction.
Edging you closer and closer to the edge, your heart pounded in your chest, your hearing dulled from the sound thumping inside, as the squelch between you two intensified. “Mmmmm…Gonna…cum Ed’s” you hummed, which was all the warning you could give as you began to plummet into the depths of your orgasm. The flames licked higher inside your stomach, consuming your body and soul. As you cried hot tears spilling out your eyes, down your damp cheeks, knocking your head back onto the wall behind in ecstasy. If it wasn’t for the blinding pleasure consuming you, you would have been concerned of how hard your head hit the wall behind, fearing a concussion. But in this moment only one thing mattered, Eddie Munson.
Cum gushed from your abused cunt, squirting down, soaking Eddie’s strong hairy thighs. The intensity of your orgasm wetting Eddie’s boxers and jeans impatiently sitting on his mid-thigh, ruched up under your ass. Your back arched against the roughness of the wall behind you, scratching the smooth skin, snagging the threads of your shirt. Your hands shot to Eddie’s messy curls, tugging at the root, grounding you once again, as you felt yourself float away in ultimate pleasure.
“Yes, that’s it Kitten” Eddie ecstatically cooed. “Look at you…so precious, making a mess of me. So sloppy, claiming my cock as yours”.
“Mmm…Eddie, All for you. Love you Daddy” you whimpered. Tears still falling from your wet doe eyes.
Eddie’s punching hips started to waver, as he started creeping closer to his own release. Chasing the feeling, his thrust began erratic and harder, sinking deeper into your slippy, warm, wet cunt. After a few more earth shattering thrusts Eddie groaned, “Gonna cum inside Kitten, Breed this pretty pussy. Gonna ruin you for every other man. Fuck your were made for me. Leave you with my cum dripping out this perfect pussy. Fuck a baby in you. Make you mine forever. Would you like that Kitten, make your belly all swollen with my baby. You’ll look so beautiful carrying our baby. My beautiful baby momma, wanna make you my wifey. Start raising the next generation of mini Munson’s. Fuck baby, I love you so much.”
Lost in his own pleasure his inner secret desires flooding out. And with that image cemented in his brain, Eddie came hard. His hot creamy white seed, coating your podgy warm walls. Eddie kept fucking your quivering pussy, with each thrust contracting, milking his cock until it became too sensitive for Eddie to stand. Pulling his softening cock out of your abused hole, his cum dribbling out as he’d described.
Eddie lowered you to your feet, pushing your panties back over your dipping pussy, trapping his cum inside, pooling in the small cotton gusset. “Gonna keep that inside for me Kitten, if you’re good maybe I’ll fuck another load inside you when we get home.” Standing you on shaking legs, he supported you until you could confidently stand yourself. Stuffing himself back inside his drench boxers and fastening his uncomfortably damp jeans. “Jesus Christ Kitten, what was that flood? Like a fucking tsunami on my jeans” he chuckled, eyes meeting yours. Your cheeks blushed with embarrassment.
“Sorry Ed’s” you squeaked face heated with humiliation. “I didn’t mean to make such a mess… I don’t know what… how… it happened”. Your timid voice squeaked, embarrassed for the soaked wet mess staining Eddie’s dark jean clad thighs.
“T’is okay Kitten, it’s more than okay! That was fucking hot!.. You’re so fucking hot sweetheart!.. I love you so much, Kitten” Eddie gushed,punctuated with hasty kisses. You both still pressed to the safe haven of the wall. “I love you too Eddie, sorry I made you angry” your voice dropping quieter on every word, shame filling your flushed face, tears welling in your eyes at the thought of Eddie’s anger earlier directed at you. As much as it excited you, it also terrified you.
“Hey, hey Kitten” Eddie’s hands grasped your cheeks. Large palms swallowing the sides of your face. “No, I’m sorry. I should of never done that to you. I just got so consumed by the thoughts of all these people seeing you, but I know it’s your body and your choice what you do with it. I’m just so glad it’s me you decide to share it with. I guess this shit music, kinda made me feral too. I think get why you’re always trying to blast it out in the van!” A wicked smile creeping over Eddie’s lips. “How about I grab us some beers and we finish watching the gig. They’ve still gotta play “Love you to death” and I know you know the subtext behind that song, then after I guess we can act that out back home…that is if you can stand?” A quirked eyebrow and another giggle rippled through his chest, a soft kiss landing in your lips.
“Make it two beers each and you’ve got yourself a deal, Munson” you counted. “But remember, they can look but they can’t touch, baby. That’s only for you Daddy, I’m yours and your mine. Don’t ever forget it”. Your finger bopped his nose playfully, lips meeting again.
Spinning on his heels, Eddie practically ran to the bar, wallet in hand, leaving you smiling to yourself. The memory of your beautiful goofball boyfriend, his devilishly handsome face, he was your everything. Him making his pussy drunk confession of his inner desires to make you his forever. This was definitely a gig you’d never forget, and for all the right reasons.
Eddie returned to you moments later, beers in hand as promised. “Come on Kitten, let’s get you back to the front, before I fuck you raw against that wall again. ‘Cause I don’t know if these jeans or your panties can take another soaking like that. God you’re so beautiful, I never want to be apart from you. My Druidess, you’ve definitely cast me under your wicked spell… not that I’m complaining. I’ll serve you for as long as you'll have me, Sweetheart”. Eddie's eyes boring into yours full of want and adoration, a love in which you thrived in.
“You better be joking Kitten, I told you I wanted you to keep my cum inside, that’s gonna be pretty hard to do then when it’s dripping down your legs. And I don’t think you want to disobey me again…so I’d say if those panties are being thrown anywhere tonight, it better be over my rear view mirror with the last pair, from when you bratted out and tried to defy me… I may be under your spell, Princess, but I’m still your Daddy. And what Daddy says goes, or have you forgotten that and need reminding again?” Eddie’s warning whispered in your ear, his hot breath pricking up the tiny hairs on your neck, his hand now clamped back between your legs over your barely clothed, soaked, raw cunt. Your spine jolted you back upright, shook.
“No Daddy” was your only response.
“Good girl”
🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️
@bexreadstoomuch @thecomfortgoth @emotionaldreamer @broccolisoupy @elvendria @capricornrisingsstuff @foxxymunson
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filthyrottenworm · 26 days
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🪱oh my! What’s this, our third intro post? Lawl, this time it’s complete. I don’t really want to rewrite everything again. TLDW we’re bad for you, we have every red flag in existence, we love hard. Diagnosed with DiD. Not pro or anti anything, we care very little about discourse. We want friends. Love of all things taboo.
Every alter uses a different emoji to indicate that they’re fronting. We call these “proxies”. I’ll make a list of the alters that’ll use this account. I’m Tazelein, btw.
🐰Daisy, she/her. My cute little pet! My sweet little toy. My darling. My little stress ball. A real softie. Shy and cute. My precious little thing. Does whatever I want.
🐁Fobi, it/she/they. Little prey. Skittish and nervous, fervently decides when we need to leave a situation. Has an overwhelming will to run and/or hide, depending on the nature of the threat it senses. She is our survival instincts and her only goal is keeping us alive. They won’t be convinced to stay in a dangerous situation, no matter what. I appreciate its desire to keep us alive, but its risk-aversion is a bit disappointing.
🦇Grim, it/any. A cutely fascinating specimen! Has a fascination with torture and abuse, just like me, but in a very different way. Can only process love through being hurt. Has an immense well of self-loathing, guilt, and shame. Hates us, but in a way that it desperately craves approval to fill the pit of self-loathing. Unfortunately, nothing ever will. Panics and lashes out desperately at any sign of betrayal or abandonment.
🎊Jynx, any. My cute niece! Well, he’s all grown up now, and really I couldn’t be more proud. Unless he was my own offspring, then I’d be more proud. She’s got a god complex and a strong desire to rule the world and make it all burn. Describes herself as a spiteful smiter. Vengeful and petty and all those good things. It also craves approval, but in the sense that it’ll destroy everyone who doesn’t worship it.
🚀Oscar, he/him. Bitter and angry, he’s completely done with relationships. Believes our system would be better off by ourselves, without anyone else. He’ll be cold and blunt. Holds no punches. He does, however, hold grudges. Will point out everything he doesn’t like about you, and everything he doesn’t like about us, and everything he thinks you won’t like about us, in an attempt to drive you away.
🥀Quasiren, they/them. Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss! They will do whatever they deem necessary to get what they think the system needs. Right now, that’s relationships! Friendships, or romance if necessary. They specifically want very intense, codependent relationships. Maybe even toxic ones! Formerly 🌟
🥩Raptorse, it/its. Our carnivore. Really more of an omnivore, it’ll eat anything, but it’s particularly obsessed with eating moving things. Very animalistic, views everything that moves as food. Constantly hungry and won’t hesitate to bite down. Sometimes goes digging outside and swallows live insects. Only really fronts when we’re hungry, and we usually aren’t hungry, unless Quasi tries to starve us <3
🎆Starbound, she/any. Our righteous anger! Won’t hesitate to jump to defending one of our alters, even those she doesn’t like, if she thinks someone is wronging us in some way. Will even defend people outside of the system. She can get a bit violent, aggressive, and intense, though. To the point where she won’t stop at anything to prove a point.
🪱Tazelein, he/any. Me! Yours truly. The one and only. The marvelous! I value life and suffering. If I had my way, everyone would live forever and suffer forever. No one would ever die. Everyone would suffer with me, forever! I hate death with a burning passion that you wouldn’t believe.
🕊️Utopia, they/them. My grandchild! Also all grown. Has a fascination with religions. Wants to start their own. Is confident that they can make the world a better place if they were in charge of it, and desires to rule the world, but for different reasons than Jynx. Genuinely believes they can make the world the better place.
🦠Vitriol, it/its. All of the system’s self-loathing, guilt, shame, and suicidal ideation rolled into one. Hates our system more than anything in the world and believes we’re the scum of the earth. Wants to kill us feverishly. Has the ideology that we’ll abuse people if we aren’t killed off, and that’s a horrible and evil and bad thing. Personally, I don’t care about abuse, and I don’t think we should die, but Vitriol vehemently believes that we’re evil. Will push people away with the intention of protecting them from us, rather than protecting us from them (like Oscar).
🕸️Webber, any. My son! She’s such a wonderful cutiepie sweetheart. My darling Websie. Has the intent of keeping people in our lives at all costs to us and them. Hates abandonment and goodbyes and won’t let anyone go. For that reason, he is fascinated by kidnapping, stalking, and physical restraints. Doesn’t want to hurt anyone, however, and holds quite a lot of guilt for our actions. It doesn’t want to make people suffer or use people, it just doesn’t want to be abandoned.
🔥Xray, he/xe (xe/xim/xis, like he/him/his). Omnipotent primordial eldritch deity 1/3. God of destruction. Represented by fire, the sun, death, light, sharp angles, spikes, stone, blades, gore, and metal. Values truth, bravery, closure, curiosity, finality, persistence, and order. Has a composed demeanor and authoritative role in the system.
🌲Yarrow, it/they/yey (yey/yem/yeir, like they/them/their). Omnipotent primordial eldritch deity 2/3. Goddex of transformation. Represented by greenery, clouds, fungi, insects, the moon, mirrors, frost, trees, armor, and mountains. Values empathy, change, introspection, attentiveness, observation, rebellion, and protection. Has a guarded demeanor and informative role in the system.
🌊Zenith, ze/zer (ze/zer/zers, like she/her/hers). Omnipotent primordial eldritch deity 3/3. Goddess of creation. Represented by the ocean, cosmos, feathers, fur, scales, flowers, rainbows, shadows, eggs, and pens. Values humility, kindness, creativity, adventure, exertion, passion, and beauty. Has a loving demeanor and supportive role in the system.
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wherethedogsareburied · 11 months
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long ass intro post incoming! general info and trigger warning below the cut.
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this is my oc blog! it used to be more informational about my wip but then i realized that i was screaming to the void and it would be better if i just let myself have fun with it instead of trying to be Formal and Professional about it lmao. anyway they’re characters from my wip that i think might be my special interest and pinterest isn’t getting as much dopamine going when it’s time to write
the focus of the plot is the past and its tendency to come back to haunt you. it follows a small family that will have its mettle tested by monsters from both outside and within, as well as the leaders of a cult trying to gain control in an age of dying gods.
it goes without saying that there are triggering subjects in this wip. they will be listed in a non spoiler-free manner below:
body horror, infection genre
animal death/violence performed against and by beasts
death and mourning, self-blame for the death of a loved one
parental abuse, particularly neglect
sexual abuse at the hands of an older priest figure & a sister figure
explicit intrusive thoughts in the head of a pov character that involve suicide, assault, and self-hatred
weaponized religion & the long-term baggage that it comes with
heavily implied suicidal ideation
i don’t think i’m going to be posting much at all about all of this but if i do, there will be a “read more” over the post after the warning.
this is going to go by tag system! block or hunt for whichever ones you would like lol
present characters:
bd || 🏛: oleander “oli” noskov. good-spirited, though anxious and helpless in worse situations. infected with lycanthropy as a teenager while in a cult, is now the owner of a decently successful inn. experiences intrusive thoughts, emotional stunting, and involuntary shifts as a result of the cult involvement.
bd || 🎠: dante pastore. headstrong and brave, but a workaholic. close friend of noskov; helped to extract him from the cult. breeds and sells horses, looked up to by his town.
bd || 🎸: magnolia noskova. poster child of 'fuck around and find out'. noskov's adopted teenage daughter; considers breaking-and-entering her source of employment. mediocre guitarist, slightly above-average bassist.
bd || 🫖: emilia shevchuk. levelheaded but has a low tolerance for fools and bad actors. the inn's chef and second-in-command, frequently handles things during noskov's "episodes".
bd || ⚒: abram ogarkov. pragmatic but generally obedient. close friend of pastore, often helps him with work. works odd jobs for a living. is otherwise a sketch artist.
bd || 🃏: anatoly malakov. 'rotisserie-chickens' between being down to earth and high and mighty but holds grudges nonetheless. elderly man at the top of the theocracy as well as the aforementioned cult. widely believed within the country that he can do no wrong whatsoever.
bd || 🐊: ivan malakov blodniek. malakov's estranged son with all his qualities plus the added bonus of teenage clumsiness. missing a few fingers. homeless and on the run from those looking to return him home; ran away after uncovering malakov's and cross's crimes and relationship dynamic.
bd || 🫀: zaine cross. a living mask; prides himself on the ability to be anything one's heart desires. second-in-command beneath malakov in both groups. notably popular with the masses due to his appearance and charm. the driving force behind blodniek's retrieval.
bd || 🚬: hellen vassos. intelligent and methodical but would undoubtedly have some sort of mutual understanding with machiavelli if he were around. practices magic, was expelled from her college due to wanton disrespect of the rules and remains bitter about it. clings to her stepbrother like her life depends on it.
bd || 🏴‍☠️: midas vassos. either empty and stagnant or battling for his life at any given moment. genuinely believes he is dead and that the 'wolf' is the only force keeping his body moving. stepbrother to the aforementioned vassos, helps her acquire illegal materials despite her abuse.
bd || 🦉: ferox blythe. reserved and private but nonetheless regal; a decorated blade. aristocratic figure whose entire job description revolves around legality; works to keep nationwide peace as well as solve crimes untouchable by small divisions. possesses a form of muscular dystrophy. loves kazimierz.
bd || 🕰: fioritura kazimierz. medic by trade but proves to be skilled with blythe's line of work as well. gathers information regarding tricky legal situations as no other assistant processes information in his same manner. has a soft spot for contraptions; uses a motorcycle as her primary form of transportation. loves blythe.
dynamic tags
bd || 🏛️🎠 : dynamic between oleander noskov and dante pastore.
bd || 🏛️🏴‍☠️ : dynamic between oleander noskov and midas vassos.
bd || 🚬🏴‍☠️ : dynamic between hellen vassos and midas vassos. content warning for abuse.
bd || 🎸🐊 : dynamic between magnolia noskova and ivan blodniek.
bd || 🫀🐊 : dynamic between ivan blodniek and zaine cross. content warning for stalking and general obsession.
bd || 🫀🎸 : dynamic between magnolia noskova and zaine cross.
bd || 🫀🐊🎸 : dynamic between magnolia noskova, ivan blodniek, and zaine cross.
lore and worldbuilding
bd || 🌗: blunder (setting). large country close to the north pole. dragon-worshipping theocracy.
bd || 🐺: lycanthropy. illness that modifies the body and mind when presented with extreme stimuli. can be passed on through blood.
bd || 🐲: draconianism. national religion of blunder. involves saint lineages who dictate laws and priests that communicate with local gods. in shambles in the present due to the sudden deaths of 80% of the gods.
bd || 🌲: the sons of volok. cult formed as the gods began dying that emphasizes supremacy of those with lycanthropy. difficult to leave due to lycanthropy's stigma as well as infection rituals.
bd || 🔮: the magic system. power drawn from the use of blood and body parts. can easily turn on the user to draw power from them if abused.
bd || ⚰️: related to the plot. usually involves spoilers and important plot points.
bd || 🐗: rambling
bd || 🎶: music related since i wont be able to shut up about it
bd || 🦚: art
bd || 🦤: memes and shitposting lol
bd || 🐘 : reblogs
bd || 🦣 : original post
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mediocre-writerr · 2 years
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the wilds ep 1  thoughts [mediocre thoughts]
hey guys! so i started later than i wanted to on getting to watch the wilds, but i finally started tonight and just finished episode 1 & 2. 
i was going to consolidate and make my thoughts about episode 2 in here, but i have a lot of thoughts about episode 1 and have to get up early, so i thought i’d get this out for you guys and i will get episode 2 thoughts out tomorrow and maybe even episode 3? 
but i will continue to post my thoughts for whoever want to know what i’m thinking about the new season. if i missed something feel free to ask me what i thought about it and i will also love to hear your guys thoughts, so leave your thoughts in my inbox! 
SPOILER ALERTS FOR EPISODE 1 BELOW!!
EPISODE 1
okay so i’m going to break down my thoughts about the parts that stuck out the most to me, so first off:
THE FIRST COUPLE MINUTES OF THE SHOW WITH EPIPHANY BY TAYLOR PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND????? 
i wholeheartedly think that this was one of the best intros to a new season i have seen from any TV show ever!! 
the way they showed the girls individually talking about nora’s death, seeing rachel and her wound as the lyrics: “and some things you just can’t speak about” playing in the background as dot placed the burning axe on her wound! it was just *chef’s kiss* an absolute masterpiece!!
all of them talking about how they became a family, it was so heartwarming and such a long time coming. they went through, at this point 30 days together, and all the trauma they’ve already been through, they had each other. and i’m glad all of them could tell that they were something way more than just friends, but a family.
THE BOYS INTRODUCTION VIDEOS & THOUGHTS
it was definitely an interesting way to introduce the boys, but i will breakdown my first initial thoughts of the boys and i will continue this little section of my thoughts as i continue to watch the season to see if my opinions of them change:
josh herbert: definitely a little burst of energy and a little awkward at some points. he wasn’t afraid to cry which shows a lot about his character compared to some of the other boys *cough kirin cough*. we didn’t really get a good look at his character in the first episode, so i can’t really form an opinion of him, but i think that he definitely has some hidden depths that i’m going to see in future episodes.
kirin o’connor: classic fraternity, crying is for girls, lacrosse guy. of course, his personality in this first episode didn’t make him very likable to me, but this show has taught us that there are depths to each person, stories behind a facade. and he might turn out to be one of the guys i end up loving in the end, who knows, but definitely not my favorite from this episode.
henry tanaka: his introduction video was so funny to me, i love his sarcasm and just the way he was listing off things that he’d rather be doing instead of going on the retreat: “lick the slide of the mcdonald’s play place” was my favorite. he gives me a little bit of nora vibes with his fun facts even though they’re much darker. i think he brings that sarcastic humor that makes the show a little lighter. i like him so far, maybe one of my favorite boys. 
ivan taylor: my boy miles!! ugh, ever since i’ve seen him with the girls in real life, i’ve been super excited to see his character. i’m interested to see what happened between him and kirin because you can definitely tell that something happened. there’s a tension in the air that i’m interested to look at. and just interested to see his storyline and what that dollar bill he was looking at means to him. 
bo leonard: i want to protect this boy at all cost! he is so pure! the way that he didn’t want to litter after drying off with a receipt! i love his friendship with scotty and definitely interested to see how he grows as a character.
scotty simms: scotty is a boy that i’m kind of iffy about. i love his ambition and his drive for things. but he kind of lost me when he told bo to keep it hush about the granola bar, for valid reasons of course, but still. like i said, i’m keeping an open mind about all these boys, so nothing is set in stone, and maybe he’ll grow on me as time goes on.
seth novak: “boring white guy” i’m sorry, but we this comment was just too funny. we love that he’s self aware hahahah! but ironically, i don’t think he’s boring because i feel like he’s too good to be true. it might be the paranoid leah in me that thinks this or my trust issues, but there’s something about him. he’s definitely more than just a mr. nice guy and i’m curious to see if i’m just paranoid or if he’s actually something else.
dj keating: mommy issues...that’s- that’s all i got for this one because i will talk about him a little later. if you’ve seen it, you already know what i’m going to talk about
rafael “raf” garcia: now this kid, right here, is very very interesting to me. and i think it’s unfair to call him my favorite boy because he is the only one we really looked into depth, but he’s definitely one of my favorites. he was such a shy, soft spoken kid, who didn’t seem like he would hurt a fly. but in his interview we see handcuffs and that he has a caution watch on him. so, i wonder what snapped, what sent him over the edge.
DOMESTIC SHONI
THEM LYING IN THE LEAVES, TANGLED IN EACH OTHER AND JUST TALKING!!
“i want to hear you describe it,” 
“like i’m floating, like i’m weak, but i like it. like i’m high on every drug they warned us about in those middle school assemblies,” 
“and by the way, i’m really happy too,” 
“it pisses me off so much to say this, you know. like it’ll never not piss me off to say this to a fucking pageant champion. like it makes me feel like captain fucking obvious. you are so beautiful.”
^^^^^ ALL THOSE FUCKING QUOTES MADE ME SCREAM! I WANT THAT! I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE!
*deep breath* anyway, i really like how toni asked shelby if she’d talked to god and what he’d tell her. it really shows the character development and growth that toni has gone through since season 1. going back to the first episode of season 1, toni hated any mention of god, shut it down, shut shelby down, hated hearing her pray. but she’s asked her what she’d think he’d say and she listened and agreed. 
“A-fucking-men” is such a simple line, but it proves so much about how much toni wants to support shelby with her relationship with god and proves just how much she’s grown since that very first episode. 
LEATIN
the concern that fatin has for leah is so cute. the way that she is worried that when she goes off on her own that she’ll fall off the deep end. she’s trying to get her to stop driving herself mad over something that she can’t seem to find, for her own greater good
when fatin pulled leah aside after her little episode on rachel, the way that she pushed her against the rock...it gave me dickinson vibes, i don’t know if you guys have seen dickinson, but it reminded me of season 2 episode 10, when emily pushes sue up against the door! i was just waiting for fatin to just kiss leah, but of course that did not happen
overall, i’ve heard a lot of good things about leatin this season and i’m so excited to see what you guys are talking about!!
RANDOM THOUGHTS
martha and toni’s friendship seems a little tense since toni didn’t tell martha about her and shelby, but i really hope that they patch that up soon because they’re bond was something so beautiful
“i can smell an orgasm a mile away. i must have a sinus thing,” FATIN BRO WITH HER ONE LINERS! SO FUNNY!
leah, sweetheart, i love you, but that was not the time nor place to be questioning rachel. she’s going through it and you can tell that she started to get angsty, but you kept pushing which was a big no, no. 
rachel and that whole miss mary mack joke, i didn’t know if i could laugh or not at first. it was kind of like, i want to laugh, but also that would be messed up to laugh. i thought she was getting sad because 1) she can’t play it with nora anymore 2) she can’t play it with anyone anymore because of her hand. but then i realized it was okay to laugh when she was just messing with dot.
“i don’t want you to watch over me like that. that was always her gig. and i’m just not ready to fill that position yet.” I WENT FROM LAUGHING TO CRYING IN A SNAP OF A FINGER. RACHEL, UGH, I WANT TO HUG YOU
THE RETURN OF MARCUS, the best ship in the entire show: martha and marcus
PLOT TWISTS
DJ IS GRETCHEN’S FUCKING SON! I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING! when it happened i realized that it all made sense. but the way that he calls her out like that was a big round of applause for him. of course what he did to quinn was absolutely terrible and is no way okay, but he’s right. gretchen can’t keep acting like he’s such a horrible human being when she’s literally putting innocent kids through this. i’m interested to see if we learn more about their dynamic as the season progresses.
leah with the pills at the end of the episode was a shock, but also not at the same time, at least to me. leah has always been super in her head throughout the last two seasons. her mind and emotions get the best of her. and for her to feel like she’s absolutely going crazy it was just too much for her. we know she survives which, thank god, but i hope the girls see how hard it is for her, and i also hope that leah finds that peace of mind by the end of the season. 
but yeah! that’s all the thoughts for today! let me know what you guys think and i will see you tomorrow for my episode 2 thoughts!
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boldlyvoid · 3 years
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Intro and masterlist
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✨about me ✨
this is a mature blog, I trust all minors to be responsible and avoid everything marked NSFW!
NSFW sideblog: @pervstash-spencer
Hi! my name is emily, I'm 23 she/they
Capricorn, bisexual, non-binary, autistic, and I have fibromyalgia ✌🏻 overall just a fun time y'know.
ao3
i love: supernatural, star trek, marvel movies, criminal minds, this is us and grey's anatomy !!
Accepting requests for Spencer Reid x Reader fics currently
all my tags are listed below if you want to see other posts about said fics, also here is my Spotify for the fics <3
Dad!spencer Masterlist
First times Masterlist**
all links to my fics below the cut!
Updated: July 28th, 2021
** for smut
~~ for angst
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Spencer Reid x Reader fics
Hypothetically**~ Ao3 | Tumblr -- 27 chapters, complete. 89k
reader and Spencer were friends in kindergarten, she watched him grow up and explore the world while she was still trying to catch up to him. now that they work together, they fall in love incredibly fast.
friends to lovers, case of the week style story
touch me**~ Ao3 | Tumblr 5.8k
Spencer is incredibly touch-starved and hard on himself since coming home from prison. Luckily, the medical examiner in this small town is really good at reading people, and exactly what he needs.
amethyst you so much P1 Ao3 | Tumblr 6.4k
Spencer has had a crush on Y/N since she started working at the bau. She only ever works the night shift after a case, handling all the aftermath gracefully. one night, Spencer stays back and they strike up a conversation about rocks, causing their feelings to dig a little deeper.
of quartz i will P2** Ao3 | Tumblr 6K
after 2 years of dating, Spencer decides it's finally time to get Y/N something to match her Amethyst bracelet.
Amoreena**~ Ao3 | Tumblr Completed 83k
Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.
Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.
Seven* Tumblr WIP
Summary: Spencer’s been married to Y/N for 7 years now, they have 7 children together and each one is going through something different. Spencer’s always wanted to be the best dad, now he gets to figure out how to be.
the guy at the rock show Ao3 | Tumblr 5.6K
Y/N lost their parents when they were 17, finding a new home and solace in Penelope Garcia and taking the Garcia name. They're the top forensic specialist in D.C, in a band and they drive a motorcycle... not to mention they are madly in love with the cute doctor who works with their sister.
journey to Camelot** Ao3 | Tumblr 3.8K
When Penelope introduces Spencer to online games, he expects to be spending his nights alone. Yet, somehow every time he comes back from a bad case, he logs on to chat with the ever so lovely user FairlyGwen and getting a lot more than just a helpful tip from her.
Exploration** Ao3 | Tumblr 4.7K
request: season1/2 spencer walking in on reader while she's watching porn in their shared hotel room
Expedition** Tumblr 1.2K
Summary: there's a first time for everything... including joining the mile high club with your boyfriend on the work jet.
10 Days Ao3 | Tumblr 1.4K
it's spencer's first father's day and he's extremely emotional about the little love of his life that he's only just met. he spends the day with his baby, Edwin, and his wife, crying and happy about how wonderful new little lives are.
ain't it fun?** Ao3 | Tumblr Masterlist 11K
reader just needs an NA meeting before they have a meltdown, they end up with the best friend they could ever make.
I'm not kidding!** Tumblr 6K
Spencer keeps getting little notes from a secret admirer, they're nice and sweet at first as they tease him with their crush until she's sending him notes about all the dirty things she wants to do to him
Perfect Timing** Tumblr 1K
spencer and reader have been spending the last month together in the same hotel room during a pretty brutal case. tension has been rising and she's completely in love with him.
what happens when they both think the other won't be back for a while and they want to shower?
Redamancy** Tumblr 5.4K
the co-op librarian at the FBI Academy has been secretly crushing on the smartest agent in the Bureau, TA, Doctor Spencer Reid, and he's been crushing on her too.
Being Neighbourly** Tumblr 1.9K
Request: reader is Spencers neighbour and she can hear him masturbating every night that he's home how do you have her deal with that?
Professional Hair Dresser (Ph.D)** Tumblr 6.4K
summary: after Spencer's knee injury, he starts visiting a salon every week to get his hair washed
36 Questions to Fall in Love Tumblr 8K
Summary: When Derek bets Spencer that he cant make someone fall in love with him in a week, he doesn’t expect Spencer to marry the girl the next day
New Romantics** Tumblr 23k
Summary: She needs help studying for her Case Exercises at the Academy, He needs a date for the annual Banquet... they just so happen to be neighbours who aren't afraid to lend a helping hand, or in this case, a helping kiss.
Million Dollar Man** | Tumblr WIP 5k so far
summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.
Sugar, Honey, Ice Tea** | Y/N version | 1-4, 5-9, Epilogue 25.6k
Summary: Fix-it-fic: Dr. Y/L/N and Savannah Hayes have been best friends since their medical internship at Bethesda General. When she receives a frantic call that Derek's best friend is being transferred to the prison she works at, an unlikely friendship bubbles.
Eventually falling head over heels for the innocent man.
Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Prison, Prison Violence, Assault, Blood, Depression, Murder, Self-Hatred, Hurt Spencer Reid, Canon-Typical Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Drug Addiction, References to Drugs, Drug Use, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Romantic Tension, Forbidden Love, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Strangers to Lovers, Requited Love, Falling In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, past abusive relationship, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault
Spencer x Ethan
Ruin it.** Tumblr 5.4K
Summary: Spencer never had sleepovers as a kid, so now that he's an adult he's always sleeping over at Ethan's house, ad he'll take any excuse to crawl into bed beside him.
Warnings: mutual pining, love concessions, blowjobs, handjobs, anal sex (both top and bottom spencer in this), childhood friends to lovers
400 Celebration fics
Reid Me Tumblr 2.5K
Spencer has noticed a beautiful woman at a spirituality booth at the farmers market every Saturday for almost a whole year now. he finally asks her to give him a reading.
mystery of love Tumblr 700
Spencer surprises his wife with a trip to Italy.
Spy Kids Tumblr 900
Spencer and Y/N's kids think that they are secretly spies and request a mission story before bed.
a father's greatest weakness Tumblr 1K
Princess Y/N is betrothed to the Viking king in an effort by her father to keep the peace between their countries, he doesn't expect her to join in the fight to free Scottland.
Luke x Reader
Best Dad Ever 2.8K
Request: angst with a happy ending, reader and luke have been divorced for a few years but have a child, she tries and tries to fall out of love with him but he's around so often that she can't
Spencer x OC
Sugar Honey Ice Tea** Ao3 | WIP 9/10 chapters complete 25.6K
Fix-it-fic: Dr. Beth Pattinson and Savannah Hayes have been best friends since their medical internship at Bethesda General. When she receives a frantic call that Derek's best friend is being transferred to the prison she works at, an unlikely friendship bubbles.
Eventually falling head over heels for the innocent man.
Intro to Criminal Minds: Why They Did It Ao3 | Tumblr WIP 6K+
Spencer is teaching a 7-week seminar on the most interesting criminal cases, explaining their actions to understand why they took place. Only, not everyone in the audience is a student.
Criminal Minds x Mindhunter AU
Spencer x OC Peggy Carr
Franklin x Reader
Voulez-Vouz** | 3.2k
Summary: in a small town, everyone knows each other… or at least they think they do.
Warnings: porn with plot, smut, Dom reader, Sub!Perv!franklin, making out, teasing, face sitting, oral (female and male), hand jobs, overstimulation, prostate message, multiple orgasms, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, let me know if I forgot anything.
Chip x Reader
forever is the sweetest con** | 6.2K
Summary: Reader’s dad is a carpenter; sometimes he takes on apprentices and sometimes, if they’re lucky, they get his daughter’s number at the end of their training. Chip Taylor, however, hits the jackpot when her father invites him over for one of her homecooked meals.
Warnings: reader’s mom passed away, mentions of parental death, strangers to lovers, random acts of kindness, mutual pining, falling in love, steamy make-outs, oral sex (male and female receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, dirty talk, sub!chip, food mentions, praise, love confessions.
Raymond x Reader
Alone Together ** | 2.4K
Summary: Raymond moves into a haunted house and ends up sleeping with the ghost who lives there... only he doesn't know that when you fuck a ghost you also become one.
Warnings: details of suicide and murder, blowjobs, pegging, bottom!raymond, top!reader, becoming a ghost, major character death.
Star Trek Masterlist
Star Wars fix it fic
Supernatural masterlist
thanks for all the love, as always,
-Emily <3
500 notes · View notes
Text
A Review on NCT 127′s 3rd Album <Sticker>
So NCT 127 just came back with their 3rd Full Album <Sticker> and this is my first 127 comeback since I became a fan last year! Neozone is such a special album for me as it was their first album that I explored entirely. I've known NCT as the group who never fails any expectations so I've kept mine up although I know they'll exceed it anyway. And guess what, they did! I absolutely love their new album hence this review~
This isn't a technical music review—as I am not a musician myself—but rather a listener's honest takes, goofy notes, and interpretation on each of the tracks in the album. I admit I've also struggled to build my own opinions on some of the tracks until I listened to them over and over again.
I have also heard there are mixed opinions on the title track <Sticker> and a lot says it's another acquired taste. But I think it's not just that, as it can be a grower, just like how most of NCT's songs were for me. Maybe after a few listens and a right passage of time, it will grow on those people. The bottom line here is, I like it a lot! 😛
So I listed down the songs according to their respective track numbers and followed each with a bulleted list of my opinions and interpretations.
(Viewer/reader discretion: before you continue, minors, do not interact as there are few 18+ contents under the cut. Thank you.)
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1. Sticker
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THEY DIDN'T JUST PUNCH A NEW NOTCH ON THE BELT LIKE THAT
THIS SONG SLAPS, LITERALLY SLAPS… AND WHIPS 
The recorder at the intro boyyyy I thought something was wrong but then I remember it’s NCT lmao
It already stuck in my head from my first listen from the Instagram audio.
With Taeyong opening the verse with his divine rapping, I knew I'm in for a new ride.
STICK-UH STICK-UGH STICK-UGHGHGH
To those complaining it sounding like noise music, imagine it sounding generic. I don't think it would fit as the title track. Not a b-track or in their repertoire, even. They are called NCT because they define the NEO in the music culture and music technology!
It honestly was an unorthodox, just like all of their title tracks, which I’m inherently here for.
Literally, no one does it like them!
The growls and the vocal flexes and adlibs! (You can tell it has Yoo Youngjin's brand.)
The crisp metronome sound that’s consistently ticking except for the pre-chorus and the dance break adds depth to the soundscape. I love how it’s used instead of the usual snaps.
The production quality blew my mind. Like how can someone think those melodies would sound so exquisite? CAN I CALL THEM GENIUS?
The piano at the back, oh my God—Yes! It adds this mystifying element to the song.
I'm not sure if it's a midi violin at the pre-chorus, but it added thrill to the song. It was a great transition from the bass line in the verses to the combination of the flawless harmony with the same instrumental.
"You treat me like a boy, like a grown-up child chasing a dream" JUNGWOO BABY NO MORE HUH
Taeil, Doyoung, and Haechan—the bridge vocal trinity!
But why the heck are they cowboys? I dig the concept, but why? LMAO
BTW GUNSLINGER MARK I’M ON MY KNEES YEEHAW
This is easily one of my favorite tracks from NCT 127's entire discography 💚
2. Lemonade
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(⌐■_■)
Jaehyun starting off this song with his deep voice eee
The song opens to a verse oozing with chill confidence. They're like, yeah you're lurking because we’re cool.
This is such a huge slap to their haters. NCT's not chillin' like a villain, nah they're the main characters!
Well maybe they’re villains, but still ya not cooler than them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Funny enough how they could have just referred haters as simply lemons whose sour/bitter to the taste, but 127 squad's success is sweeter than all the haters' spiteful remarks so yeah, SIPPY SIPPY LEMONADE 🧃
"WOOF"
I might have just barked too wOW
Yuta’s vocals hooooO his voice just sounds so glamorous mhmm
Also Mark referencing their previous title tracks such as: Firetruck, Cherry Bomb, and Regular (it's Irregular in the lyrics) in his rap part 👌💅
I just love Mark's energy when he raps. HE RESOLUTELY BITES AND STRAIGHT UP EATS EVERY TIME HE DOES.
3. Breakfast
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Now breakfast time, oh jeez!
AAAHAHFU—
Summer 127's bestie!
If Summer 127 talks about dancing all night long, Breakfast is the morning after.
You know what it is.
"Even if I gulp and drink you, it's not enough for me." oho Taeyong no you ha—STOP
Sexual innuendos aside, isn't it just sweet if someone tells you they'd want to have breakfast with you every day?  Okay maybe I'm melting at the thought 😩🙈💞
And I can see myself dancing to this song as I make breakfast (in the afternoon or at midnight bc I’m crazy)
This was an okay b-track for me at the first skim on the album, but boy it grew on me wildly.
Honestly one of my favorite tracks in this album.
4. Focus
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Did I just invade a private call? LMAO
The analog voice filters make it like so.
Dude, this feels intimate in the level of eavesdropping a phone call between seasoned lovers. Then you realize you hear them whispering their kinks over the line and you're ooh, that's sexy! hfgklhfhf
My first listen to this, I almost went feral because,
"I can't wait to eat you…" when it's actually "I can't wait 'til we chill…" aahaha
"Baby call me when you want me." OKAY!
This sounds relaxing and chill. I'd love to play this on a late night drive or just before bed time along with Fly Away With Me, Sun & Moon, My Youth, and Long Flight.
Belongs to ‘make out session’ playlist  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
That was lowkey a playlist recommendation, huh?
I'd be kidding if I don't say I could touch myself while listening to this song AHAHAFGHFJFJ
I didn't know this would grow on me this much lol I love love LOVE THIS!
5. The Rainy Night
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Ooh, the holy melancholy!
Piano at the intro—I knew I'd cry to this.
This song isn't just about break-up, but the heartbreak after one.
The yearning; the remnant pieces from the shattering of what was once there.
I think I crumbled from this one.
This hit so hard I felt like I fit in the shoes with the lyrics throughout the entire song.
What’s fascinating is I clearly forgot the title when I mentally said this sounds like a sad rainy day song from the first listen.
Something I’d turn up when it suddenly rains, just because I want to feel the blues.
Taeil and Haechan singing in lower register? I wanna cry :( they’re just one of the best vocalists in K-music industry right now.
Could have been also nice if they added Yuta to the vocals.
"My selfish heart who waits for you to come back," OKAY WHO HURT THEM?
And the fact that they sang it so good that it translated every ounce of the emotions well even before I looked up for English translations is the reason why I love this song too.
6. Far
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Hmm… What the hell?! Do I like this? Wait...
Alright!
The jumpy vibe from the first verse to the pre-chorus set the mood for this song. It sounds merry and heavy. It was honestly too much to take until I’ve reached the chorus part.
Honestly, I think this song could fit NCT Dream better, as it gives off a vibe similar to Hello Future's b-tracks. If some credible source say this could have made HF’s track list, I might believe you too fast.
Also Dream’s Deja Vu where they go na nananananana na na na~
Playful yet confident! That’s what I mean!
As usual, the vocals are insane! Vocal flex from left to right!
I swear Jungwoo sounded a bit like Taemin at the second verse that I had to replay it hahaha
I love hearing Johnny as a vocalist! SM, how many signs do you need until you utilize his vocal talent???
Taeil's part where he sings, "go nuts, go nuts, 'til we go bust, go bust" IDEK BUT I SNORTED A LAUGH AT FIRST LISTEN HFCAHKFHK
Not my favorite, but still great though!
But wait it’s actually stuck in my head???
7. Bring The Noize
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Yes, they never beat those noise music allegations
HERE'S SOME NOIZE, BITCHES
I love me some noisy percussions. AND THE BASS YO
This screams so much confidence!
The build up from the pre-chorus to the chorus—FIRE!
This song reminds me a lot of SuperM's Super Car, especially with the engine roar samples and the battle cry-like singing at the chorus.
JAEHYUN RAPPING? You mean Jaehyun the visual, the vocalist, the actor, the model, the funny dude, aka my everything?! (markie bb look pls look away for a moment)
THEY DELIVERED IT STRAIGHT FROM NEOCITY THAT'S SOME NCT MUSIC RIGHT THERE NO ONE DOES IT LIKE THEM
When I said I'd play Focus on a late night drive, and if I add this in the playlist, VROOM VROOM SPEED LIMIT WHAT
OUTTA MY WAY
“We got no shame” ouh TAEYONG’S FLOW IS JUST VERY HIM AND HE’S IN A LEAGUE OF HIS OWN
You know what's so clever about this song? It's how it ended with Mark's final rap without any instrumental, leaving you  standing there with a doppler effect-like post experience.
A super car on a super speed just whooshed past you and you look its way as it zips through the road. It's gone in an instant but you're floored dumbfounded at a sidewalk. That's how I describe this song.
8. Magic Carpet Ride
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This song… Wow. Oh gosh it's so beautiful.
Their harmony in the chorus—it makes me want to kiss someone so passionately that I'd cry.
This makes me want to feel love that transcends the universe. Literally, just please take me on a magic carpet ride :(
The background harmonies too oh my goodness—HEAVENLY.
Jaehyun's voice is so warm and soulful it fits perfectly with songs of this genre.
Okay alright Doyoung Grande!
And Taeil makes me feel like I'm listening to old school R&B.
The first time I heard this from the track video, I can't stop replaying because it's just that great.
This makes me want to love. I think that sums it up.
9. Road Trip
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This is such a soothing song for me, especially how I easily become nostalgic thinking about the road trips I've had.
Whenever I listen to this, my brain immediately conjures up thoughts of my ideal getaways. Gazing at the sky through the car window, stirring up from a nap in the middle of the ride, and   eventually reaching your destination.
Oh, to travel around anywhere... (curse you covid-19)
Okay that's it. I'M PACKING UP.
But where do I go—
I could also imagine Mark playing this on the guitar and the other members sing along together, something like that.
Just Wholesome™ vibes.
I love how it evokes such a nice emotion within me effortlessly.
This isn't my favorite, but I still love this.
10. Dreamer
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Eyyyy such a refreshing song!
This song is so bright it makes me want to dance. I play this first in the shower!
It reminds me so much of Elevator (from Neozone)
The horns make it more lively I think!
Yuta and Jungwoo's voice suits lively songs like this.
The background vocal in low register in Taeyong's part in the first verse is so good ahhfhf
Taeil, the R&B vocal king you are...
There's this part where Doyoung and Johnny harmonized, that at first listen they seemed to clash, but it sounded actually fine after a few listens. Maybe it's just that I've never heard them do it before.
And I think it's Doyoung's laugh at the end of the bridge? Oh my goodness I really love this too!
11. Promise You
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MY FIRST LOVE AND MOST FAVORITE SONG IN THE ALBUM!!!
The first time I heard this from their NCIT Sharehouse Sitcom, I fell in love with the song already.
It sounds like something you'd feel from a warm, welcoming hug.
The lyrics are so beautiful and endearing. It's definitely a be-there-for-you type of song that will touch your heart.
It definitely sounds like a promise.
A song about platonic intimacy.
This really fits to be the closing song of the album. It's like the end of it but holds a promise that says “see you soon.”
Because they cherish their fans like that.
It's also like I've watched a movie with a happy ending, where the camera pans up to the clear sky and this song starts playing.
Speaking of ending, I would love to hear them sing this as an encore stage in their concert. You know, that moment just before the stage lights die down at the end of the concert where they send final blows of flying kisses to NCTzens. Then you come home smiling and crying.
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This wasn't supposed to be this long since I originally planned to write this with just simple phrases and emojis but I got too engrossed lol. I also meant to include my own ratings but I figured it’s pointless since I can’t really decide about them hahaha
I really enjoyed the whole album and I love how they're progressively defining what NEO means by breaking through standards. It's not NCT music if it doesn't make you say "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?" But then you realize it’s stuck in your head and you’re enjoying it already.
✨ OVERALL RATING: 127/10 💚
if you’ve reached until here, thank you for letting me share you a braincell or two 💞
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lucky-sevens · 3 years
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mechanisms basics & lore
welcome to my updated mechanisms intro post! this post will cover both the topics discussed in my mechanisms basics post, which is geared towards people who don’t know what the mechanisms are, and my deep lore post, which aimed to be a comprehensive compilation of all the important character and world lore. this post should serve the above group, but it’s geared towards people who have listened but feel there’s a lot of lore that seems to be common knowledge they’re missing. we’ll start out with a basic introduction, and then go into crew lore and a semi-comprehensive guide on where to go for further information.
basics
the mechanisms were a steampunk concept band, known for their queer representation and their tragic stories. they are no longer together, their last performance being january 2020, but several of their members are still creating related spinoff content.
they follow the trope many steampunk bands do, which is albums that tell a story; think similar to listening to a musical soundtrack, but geared to a visual-less experience. what distinguishes them is 1) narration tracks between each song, making the plot very easy to follow, and 2) being meant to be watched live, meaning there’s layers of meta that are more easily understood by watching recorded gigs rather than studio recordings of albums. specifically, there’s a focus on the narrators, known as the mechanisms or the crew of the aurora, who are immortal space pirates telling the stories and occasionally inserting themselves into them. though they are tragic figures themselves, their banter serves the purpose of bringing a lightheartedness and dark humor to the stories. if there’s an aspect of the lore you’re confused on, it’s probably related to the narrators!
to watch the mechanisms live, you can find recordings on youtube, dropbox, google drive, soundcloud, or vimeo, which are all compiled in this post (including transcripts!). if visuals aren’t your thing, i’ve linked the studio recordings later on in this post when they come up, and here are the mechanisms’ official spotify, bandcamp, and youtube, as well as an unofficial comprehensive lyric videos channel. 
the albums
regarding the albums specifically, there are 4 main ones (once upon a time (in space), ulysses dies at dawn, high noon over camelot, and the bifrost incident), 2 that are compilations of miscellaneous songs (tales to be told 1 & 2), 1 single (frankenstein), and 1 album that’s a high-quality recording of their last live show, including an alternative performance of the bifrost incident, 2 songs only performed at live shows, and 'the deathsong’, which details how they all eventually die (death to the mechanisms).
as you might have been able to tell from the titles, they’re all based off of various myths, folklore, literature, and/or fairy tales, using different genres on top of a sci-fi setting to add a fresh twist to them! for example, high noon over camelot is a western based on arthurian mythos, set on a space station. (the albums are known for all ending in tragedy, so be careful if that isn’t your cup of tea!) if your goal is to get into the mechanisms, i’d suggest sitting down and listening to them all in full; links will be provided below, or alternatively you can watch once upon a time (in space) live here, ulysses dies at dawn live here, or the bifrost incident live here. (there is no full live recording with visuals of high noon over camelot, sadly, but there are partial and audio only recordings.)
once upon a time (in space) - spotify/bandcamp/youtube
ulysses dies at dawn - spotify/bandcamp/youtube
high noon over camelot - spotify/bandcamp/youtube
the bifrost incident - spotify/bandcamp/youtube
tales to be told, volume 1 -  spotify/bandcamp/youtube
tales to be told, volume 2 - spotify/bandcamp/youtube
frankenstein - spotify/bandcamp/youtube
death to the mechanisms - edited video with the stream corruption fixed + subtitles / stream / spotify / bandcamp / youtube / transcript pt. 1 / transcript pt. 2
reading the fiction is integral to understanding both the albums and the mechanisms themselves. the fiction is a collection of short stories set in the mechanisms universe posted on their website here and compiled by me here, with an extra high noon over camelot story here. (there are also audio versions for ‘mirror mirror’ and ‘a rebel yell’ included on both the website and the compilation).
the crew of the aurora
as for the crew, at their peak there were nine members played by people, as well as the ex-member dr carmilla, who has extensive solo lore and is still active (which we’ll touch on in a few paragraphs). there is also their ship, the aurora, who is sentient and has her own lore. in fact, every member of the crew has their own backstory, set in a different genre or historical period; for example, nastya rasputina's is historical, jonny d’ville’s is a western and marius von raum’s is a mecha anime. however, they’re all still different flavors of steampunk! below, i’ll list each member, their performer, and the main sources of lore about them. for the majority of them, they have their own song in tales to be told, but there are a few outliers. everyone also has their own bio up on the website, which can all be found here. 
the aurora (n/a, ship)- on aurora (meta)
jonny d’ville (jonny sims)- one eyed jacks (song), jonny before he was mechanized (meta)
nastya rasputina (anonymous)- cyberian demons (song)
ivy alexandria (morgan wilkinson)- archive footage (fiction), crew bio
ashes o’reilly (frank voss)- lucky sevens (song)
drumbot brian (ben below)- lost in the cosmos (song), crew bio
the toy soldier (jessica law)- the story of the toy soldier (fiction)
gunpowder tim (tim ledsam)- gunpowder tim vs the moon kaiser (song/minialbum)
marius von raum (kofi young)- the death of byron von raum summary (blog post)
raphaella la cognizi (r l hughes)- crew bio
if you’ve noticed the crew bio doesn’t say much about raphaella, that’s because we know little to nothing about her backstory. the only thing we have to go on is a quote from the tv tropes page, which looking at the edit history, was likely written by one of the mechanisms. the quote is ‘Science officer who may or may not have cheated her way onto the ship after becoming a little too interested.‘ and the page is here.
the majority of fandom content is about the crew, working off of what we get from the tales to be told songs, the live gigs, and the fiction.
dr carmilla
speaking of characters with obscure lore, let’s talk about dr carmilla! rather than linger, i’ll just link my carmilla basics post, which is a comprehensive summary of who she is in and out of universe. to summarize, she’s a character based on the novella ‘carmilla’ by sheridan le fanu, commonly regarded as the first vampire novel, but her lore has diverged heavily from that original starting point since then. she is the oldest out of all of the crew, and made the majority of the other crew members immortal. she, as well as aurora, is from a planet called terra, which was destroyed partially as a result of her actions. her character is defined by her immortality and how she deals with it, her experiences on terra, her relationship with the mechanisms, and her dysfunctional relationship with her ex-girlfriend loreli, the last of which is the most covered by her songs. out of universe, she is played by maki yamazaki. all her lore lines up with what happened out of universe, and ties to the fact the mechanisms were originally dr carmilla and the mechanisms. she has two solo albums and two singles, which i’ll link below.
ageha (prototype edition) (album)- bandcamp | youtube
exhumed and {un}plugged (album)- bandcamp | youtube
the city {nex:type mix} (single, in-character cover)- bandcamp | youtube
eleven (single)- bandcamp | youtube
the majority of her lore is still to be officially revealed, and will be in the trilogy of albums maki yamazaki is working on.
further reading
if you’d like to delve further into the lore, there are a few sources i use! there are official, in-character, blogs, as well as things that are harder to dredge up; i won’t link them here, but some sources include @/thedreadvampy (the band’s artist, as well as morgan wilkinson’s sister and kofi young’s partner; don’t bother her for lore or anything, but she’s previously made posts sharing previously unknown information), old websites and deleted content found on the wayback machine, the tv tropes pages, and most notably the lore doc.
the ‘maki forbidden lore doc’ is an archive of all the lore maki yamazaki has shared on the mechscord, the official mechanisms discord which she’s on, and her own personal server, where she’s running an arg (alternate reality game) as a way of relaying more lore about the dr carmilla universe. for an idea of the scale, the doc is currently 91 pages and 28346 words, and recontextualizes much of what is known about dr carmilla and maki’s canon of the mechanisms universe. it is confidential to anyone not in her discord or the mechscord, as she’s said that this lore isn’t thought out nearly as much as the albums and is subject to change, so she’d rather it not be out in the open. however, information on how to join the mechscord can be found here. there is also a non-canonical fan project based on the arg in progress, but information on it is also confidential for now.
with regards to the above phrase ‘maki’s canon’ it’s worth noting that all of the individual band members have their own idea of what counts as canon and what doesn’t, and as you foray deeper into lore that division becomes more and more apparent.
with that, here are the mechanisms’ blogs. they are all both run in-character by the main nine band members and inactive unless i note otherwise.
twitter
tumblr
facebook
website/wordpress (run ic by tereshkova’s ghost, the blogbot, for the most part)
carmilla twitter (active, run ic by dr carmilla)
conclusion
now that we’re coming to the end of this, i’d like to thank whoever got this far, and to say a few words. my interest in the mechanisms has been slowly fading, and i’ve been writing less and less meta and lapsing in keeping up with new lore myself. honestly, i’m pretty worn out by how much i’ve done on this blog and in this fandom, and the commitments i’ve assigned myself. i do have plans for future meta, but it’s unlikely they’ll come to fruition. so, i thought i’d do a new version of my two oldest posts on this blog, and hopefully enable other people to look into the lore and theorize themselves with the new information.
to find more information, remember there’s a mechanisms wiki, and that my askbox is always open.
thanks for reading!
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rataltouille · 3 years
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GOD COMPLEX: WIP INTRO
[this is my original work, do not use / repurpose / plagiarise in any form]
GENRE: literary fiction; sometimes surrealism / fabulism.
STAGE: drafting / editing / polishing [each story is at a different point]
RECURRING THINGS: unhinged teenagers doing unhinged things. angry queer narrators. brown people with ambiguous religious beliefs. self inserts, you say? what makes you think that?
SO WHAT IS THIS?
good question! i ask that to myself all the time!!
okay so god complex is a collection of ALL my short stories. essentially every single short story i’ve ever written is a part of this project. and because i’m needlessly complicated, this is where things get confusing:
god complex is NOT my first short story collection [said first collection is unnamed and will have 13 select stories].
god complex also includes stories that may go into potential future collection(s).
god complex contains the other stories, ones that will go nowhere for various reasons [most being that they’re just,,, bad].
i made a venn diagram too because i’m insane:
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i spent too long on this so you better have understood this mess 😪/j
WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT?
chaos! very fun narratives with extremely experimental and whacky form, told mostly by angry unhinged women!! my first ever cult story!!! [long overdue tbh]
first off i want to talk about the process. as mentioned, this is a wip and is nowhere near completion [so far i’m still in the drafting stage and out of all the short stories i’ve written so far, only four or so of them fit the vibes that i’m beginning to get from collection #1].
second off, considering they're all short stories that will be very different from each other + will be in different stages and drafts, i’ve decided to continue with introing each story with its separate post [like i did with saltwater, helium throat, etc] and then making update posts whenever i’ve got stuff to talk about [like how the editing or whatever’s going]! let me tell you here that editing is hard and my first drafts go through a Lot Of Fun Things so you can see me breakdown live :)
third, i don't work with a set theme and don't really start a collection knowing how it’s going to go. rather, the more i write for it the more it starts to take shape [which is why naming my first collection is so difficult because nothing seems right for it so far]. god complex is so varied that i wouldn't really say it has a “vibe”, but from what i’m planning to put in collection #1 so far, i’m beginning to understand it a bit more, and so far my only conclusion is that it involves unhinged people doing unhinged things [which is kind of my trademark ig], and also reckoning with your past at the Worst Possible Time. also everyone is queer because of course they are what else did you except.
WHAT HAVE I GOT SO FAR?
this list will be updated as i naturally write + more stories.
SALTWATER: narrated by the ocean, we follow a toxic couple as they reach their breaking point and drive into the ocean.
HELIUM THROAT: a bitter woman visits her hometown years after her sister and father’s connected deaths, to meet her estranged mother after she moves into her childhood house.
IT’S GENE MAGIC AND/OR TURPENTINE: a listless college student is called back home mid semester after her entire family dies from mysterious causes, and is left in an empty house with nothing but noisy neighbours, cigarettes and a shoulder demon to keep her company.
and of course wip intros are incomplete without a moodboard so:
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that’s essentially the entire vibe of it godbless <3
everything about this project is tagged as god complex, the short story intros as god complex intro and the writing updates as god complex update. you can send me an ask / message me if you’d like to be added to my taglist or have any questions about the project. and that’s about it for now!!
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churchyardgrim · 2 years
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TOWER OF DOOM by Mark Anthony
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[intro post]
so i was actually warned away from this book, by ppl who'd read the series and who, at the time, did not know me terribly well
bc of course it went straight to the top of my to-read list
and now, having read it, hoooooo boy dear readers let me tell you, that tower sure can doom
we've got a classic hunchback of notre dame here folks; shitty baron in a shitty provincial town, with a disabled half-brother in a tower ringing bells, etc etc etc, and also some business with a lady doctor of genuinely supernatural goodness, and something about a werecat secret agent of Azalin Rex sniffing around bc the baron's plotting against the king and whathaveyou
now i need to take a moment, right here at the top, to talk about this werecat
Jadis is.... well she wouldn't be out of place in a C-grade James Bond novelization. she's The Sexiest Sexy Lady Who Ever Breasted Boobily Down The Stairs, and also she can turn into a giant fuckoff panther bc what's sexier than that. she's a strong independent career-minded woman, and oh yeah she fucks her boss
the boss who is a lich
yeah that boss
now it's not that i object to lichfucking in principal! far from it! anyone who knows me can attest that this is in fact my brand! 
what i do object to is the fact that it's written about as well as baby's first straightguy fanfiction! and also that IT'S IN CHAPTER TWO. THEY LEAD WITH THIS. RIGHT OUT THE GATE HERE.
it's just. it's so badly written guys. it's barely five paragraphs and i am scarred by how clumsy and amateurish the writing is.
like fuck, i can do better than this! i should do better than this! hold my beer, i'm going to take a hammer and FIX the canon
ahem. anyway.
so Jadis has her necro moment and we move on, thank god, and get the rest of what passes for plot moving
to summarize a lot of faffing about and establishing the tone as Needlessly Bleak, the local baron found a magic rock that absorbs souls and makes zombies, and he's running a transparently fake inquisition to find ""traitors"" to execute in order to charge this thing up like a battery
meanwhile our resident Tower Hunchback gets tricked by someone else into carting home a really really cursed bell for the belltower
a cursed bell that kills ppl! fantastic
it's… honestly really boring to talk about lmao. our friend Wort starts doing his "you want a monster? i'll show you a monster" revenge plot, killing off the baron's inner circle one by one and being all tortured about his station in life, and it's fine, i guess. 
there's also a fancy doctorlady whose name i've already forgotten here to see the goodness in all life or whatever, ministering to the poor idiot townspeople who don't know what deafness is (i wish i was kidding)
naturally there's some hamfisted romance between them, and naturally it made me gag more than the lichfucking did. these aren't people, they're caricatures from an author with no goddamn idea what he's doing, and i can feel the pain of his editor as if it were my own
it's trying to tell a story about social rejection, and relative monstrosity, and how being ostracized should drive ppl together against their oppressors but instead only builds divisions between them, as victims tend to be myopic and very attached to their own suffering, to the exclusion of solidarity with their peers
it's trying to tell that story, but it. is not succeeding. it's so hamfisted in its writing, and so full of awkward straight dude horniness, and it's just… so bad you guys.
anyway there's even more faffing, half the cast is dead of Bell Ghosts Disorder by now, and the most interesting thing that happens is Jadis starts to realize that uhhhhh maybe not using protection when getting with a powerful arcane undead is gonna have some longterm consequences my dude
altho i don't think condoms help with magical necrosis so uh. not really sure what she was meant to do differently here. not fuck the lich? not a chance
the good news is she's mostly spared those consequences by dying in a firetrap the baron left her in! so sad, rip catgirl. it's at this point the baron's Big Evil Scheme is revealed, and he's planning to… use the soulstone to animate a big fuckoff war tower, drive the thing directly to Castle Avernus, and i guess bash Azalin to death with it?
no idea why Azzy even needed to get Jadis involved in this, given she does practically nothing to stop it and it collapses anyway under the weight of its own stupidity. Wort's mad with power by now, there's zombies everywhere, this author clearly has a Thing for lovingly described corpses and decay and i don't even know what to do with that
the eventual resolution involves something about the inherent goodness of the human spirit breaking the bell's curse, and also a very disney villain death for the baron. it's very strange, given all the needless cruelty and lurid gore that lead up to it. Wort accidentally drives the walking tower off a cliff, the doctor lady survives to haunt the moors as a ghost? angel? angelghost? maimed and ugly now by her injuries but healing ppl in mysterious silence, something something morality tale
ultimately you can give this one a pass. the quality of the writing is just too bad to put up with, and the plot is largely unremarkable except for the bizarre decision to have a catgirl fuck a lich
now if you'll excuse me, i have some free, uncompensated rewriting to do.
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k-sci-janitor · 3 years
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So I finished DCWT last night and while I know this fic is quote unquote famous and also rightly contentious, I still had some thoughts on it that I wanted to spew out long form style on here, SO-
To be clear, this was a fic I avoided for a LONG TIME
You know when people hype up a thing as like, the pinnacle of whatever? And if you haven’t read it, you’re not a real fan? Yeah well, that was the vibe I got with this dumb fic for a long time while absolutely no one told me that, it was just my dumb brain being judgmental to myself really, lol. Anyway why would I wanna read a fic that famously doesn’t have any tags? I mean, who does that?? Anyway-
So what changed your mind?
Well I watched this wonderful video (everyone, GO WATCH THIS VIDEO) and even tho the creator simultaneously hyped and un-hyped DCWT, it got me intrigued and a little cautious about finally just giving it go. It had literally been sitting on my kindle for months and I just finally decided to see what it was I was missing.
So you got past that opening, huh?
MY GOD. My biggest initial hurtle getting thru this damn thing was just the opening. It was verbose. It didn’t make much sense. It didn’t even seem like this author and I had watched the same movie. Everything about it was off putting and strange and I must’ve picked it up and put it down like 10 times. Don’t do this. I’ve only written a little bit personally but the fastest way I chuck a book/fic/whatever away from me is a terrible opening or like, an opening so fucking confusing that it’s unclear that it’ll get better from here.
So it got better from there?
Okay yes, it did, thank goodness. At a certain point it became more clear and I realized the fic had started with a wildly confusing intro to show, you know, how m e s s e d up they were post-drift, cognitively, emotionally, etc. The story eventually started to speed up and I got engaged with the action and finally I couldn’t put it down. It took a while tho!! But I also HAD to put it down at some points.
Oh, why?
So, remember when I said there was no tags and everything I had gathered about this fic was secondhand knowledge? I didn’t really know how in depth the fic was going to describe disassociation and panic attacks. I don’t mind mentions of these things in other fics I've read but DCWT really delves into them in a way that made me, someone prone to panic attacks, really uncomfortable. It basically just hit a little too close to home for me and I occasionally had to put it down so I could breathe or find myself in a different headspace to be able to read these descriptions. This could easily affect someone else pretty harshly.
And like, I know these descriptions are fictional, they're not going to hurt me but they read real enough to me and they’re happening to a character I care a lot about and it was genuinely distressing to read. I also generally don’t read angsty fics because like I said, I don’t really like thinking deeply about Newt or Hermann having something overtly terrible to their bodies (sorry Kaiju!Newt fans, I get eeked out!!). Sometimes I can handle it if it’s abstract enough but sometimes I can’t. I especially find it hard if it's crouched in something I have personal experience with (the panic attacks, sigh). Tags, people, YOU USE THEM.
So did you even like this fic??? SPOILERS BELOW 👇👇👇
Omg so I actually did. Newt and Hermann’s characterizations were really good. Newt was quite possibly the world’s biggest asshole while I wanted nothing more than to give this Hermann a really big hug. Since this fic is so long, it gets a chance to really hone in on their dynamic and how they care for each other. They literally call each other their "life partners" before they examine if they're actually dating or not. I really enjoyed that a reader could interpret their relationship as ace, it totally works. And I still got my big damn kiss! Jokes that have been building up for like 100k words have an amazing pay off and was super funny to read. Also somehow NO ONE told me about the AI self-driving cars and were my surprise favorite characters. Mako's characterization was also some of the best things I've read about her and I loved her and Newt's relationship a lot.
So it was fine in the end?? MORE SPOILERS 👇👇👇
Well, no, I think I'm just sensitive to the idea that Newt's mind is tearing itself apart due to the kaiju, due to Hermann occasionally taking over, due to his own dumb hang-ups. It's a melancholy read is where I would place it. Their dynamic is difficult and real in it's terror of what's happened to them. A BIG SURPRISE for me was Newt's third drift and the fact the PPDC may or may not have coerced him to do it while he was on anti-seizure drugs?? IT'S REALLY UPSETTING. I don’t like the immediate alienation from the PPDC, I mean, I also don’t like the military but the idea that they would whisk Newt away like that is weird and I dunno. It’s fucked, whatever.
It was just a weird, hard read for me emotionally and I don’t blame anyone who decides to just put it down. And it has SUCH good stuff hidden in there (the AI cars, Hermann buying a Porsche on a whim and being a scary driver, that fucking hair stroking thing) but it’s a roller coaster and I honestly don’t know what to make of a fic that has it’s own PR person to hype it up, lmao.
So what do you recommend?
Approach cautiously! I’ll even make a short list of tags here: Descriptions of epilepsy, seizures, nosebleeds, disassociation, panic attacks, eye damage, hand surgery, Drinking and depictions of drunkenness, underage drinking mentions, implied drugging, descriptions of imagined head surgery, suicidal thoughts.
And hey, you might be a tough guy who reads fucked up fics all the time and I just sound like a wimp here, that’s fine!! I just felt complicated about this fic (liking and hating it, ugh) and wanted to get down what I thought about it while it was fresh. And like, y’all know me, I like cute, fluffy shit where they kiss for the first time or whatever. But I occasionally will dip into scarier stuff. I just don’t know if this is everyone’s cup of tea and wanted to elaborate. 😮‍💨
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road less travelled - m. tkachuk
I was throwing together a list of ideas yesterday, and this one stuck out to me for some reason. So I started writing, thankfully had a pretty free weekend, and finished today! It was a fun piece to right, I hope you all enjoy it! As always, I read all my tags, so reblogs are a writer’s best friend! You’re also more than welcome to come into my inbox and yell at me if that’s more your speed.
word count: 4.5k+
March 18 (thurs)
Elsie couldn’t believe she had gotten herself in this situation again. Every time she woke up in his bed she swore it was the last time, but one drunken mistake turned into another, which turned into a threepeat, and now she wasn’t so sure it had been a mistake in the first place. There was just something about Matthew Tkachuk, something so intoxicating that she was able to ignore the every fiber of her being that was screaming at her to stop this, stop things before it turned sour. Stop it before her brother found out. 
It had been easy enough to keep things from Johnny when they first started hooking up; they’d meet at a crowded bar, somewhere where the cover of anonymity was all but guaranteed, or a late-night text, a few words by the other communicating everything they needed to know. He was lonely. And Elsie Gaudreau was the only one who could help. It had been easy enough to keep things from Johnny at the start, but then they started texting before 11 PM, and then they decided they were exclusive, and then, Matty decided that it was about time that they put a label on it. And suddenly it wasn’t so easy to keep their secret anymore. 
The team knew that he was seeing someone, but much to everyone’s surprise, he had said precious little about their relationship. He called her Leigh in the locker room, or out with the boys — her grandmother’s middle name, one he felt toed the line as well as possible between complete fabrication and some semblance of the truth — and they knew the couple had been together for a few months, that she made him laugh, and that he was more into her than they had seen him act with anyone in recent memory. She didn’t come to events because she was shy, Matthew said, and he didn’t want to subject her to the kind of spotlight he knew she might be scrutinized under the moment they went public. He wasn’t lying when he said she’d been to games — Elsie usually made it to a few a month, usually on Johnny’s invitation — but left out the part where she wore the number 13 in the stands instead of 19, or where she caught a ride home with her brother after media availability instead of her boyfriend, the man she’d been sleeping with for the past five months. 
“Leaving already?” Matty mumbled, slinging one arm over her waist as Elsie tried to sit up. 
She twisted over, kissing him softly. His stubble tickled her cheek. “Got class, remember?” Of course he remembered. Class was the whole reason she was in Alberta; most of it, at least. She had done her undergrad in astrophysics at Wellesley in Massachusetts, and when the time had come for her to decide where to do her graduate studies, Johnny had been all too quick to offer up Calgary. “It’s a great program!” he had said. And it was, but Elsie also had her doubts that her brother knew much about astronomy beyond the ability to find the Great Dipper on a clear day. They had always been close, even when he went to go play in Dubuque when she was 13, but their time together had naturally been more than a little limited ever since he turned pro. So when the opportunity arose for them to be in the same city full-time for the first time in a decade, he was jumping at the prospect of being able to look after his younger sister again. And, especially after he offered to pay her tuition, she wasn’t about to say no. International fees didn’t come cheap. 
Matty groaned, pawing at her hand as she got up from the bed, throwing the covers back over him. “Do you have to go?” he whined. 
Elsie rolled her eyes. “It’s an 8 AM, and it’s,” she glanced at her watch, “already 7. I’d love to stay in bed with you, babe, but I’ve still got to eat and get dressed and grab all my stuff. Plus, it’s at least fifteen minutes to drive and find a place to park, so I’ve got to build that in too.”
“I still think it’s dumb that they make you pay to park at your own school. You’re already paying tuition, plus you TA that one course, so it’s not like you’re doing nothing for them,” he said.
“It’s dumb,” she agreed.
Matthew clicked his tongue. “It’s highway robbery, is what it is, Els.”
She laughed, bending over the bed to run a hand through his curls. She loved those curls. “Be that as it may, Matty dear, I’ve still got to get there on time. Experimental space physics waits for no man.” 
He pouted. “Fine.”
Elsie shot him a sympathetic look. “I’ll try to swing by after my classes let out, how does that sound?”
“Can’t. Johnny and some of the guys are going to be over after morning skate, we’re going out to lunch then they’re coming back here. I’ll call you if they don’t stay too late?” he proposed, looking over at her. 
She gave a tight smile. “Works for me.”
---
Matthew couldn’t believe he had managed to keep things from Johnny for as long as he had. As pretty much anyone could tell you, he was the world’s worst secret-keeper off the ice, and even more so when it came to his friends. And every time Johnny would lean over to him in the locker room, showing him a picture Elsie had posted on Instagram, or recount a story from the intro astronomy class she TA’d, he had to bite his lip and pretend like he hadn’t been the one to take the picture, or he hadn’t been the first to hear about the kid who didn’t believe you couldn’t see the Southern Cross from Alberta. As much as Matthew hated it, he knew that part of what made his relationship with Elsie so exhilarating was the illicit nature of the whole thing. Something about sneaking around with your best friend’s little sister made everything that much more exciting. 
The first time they hooked up hadn’t been a mistake, but it hadn’t been planned in any possible sense of the word. Elsie had moved to Calgary in August, a few weeks before everyone had stated trickling back into Alberta for training camp. Matthew was pretty sure it was mostly Johnny not wanting her to only be surrounded by “space nerds” — his words, not Matty’s, because while he had endless admiration for his sister’s dedication and academic skill, he understood approximateky 0.2% of what she was studying — all day, so by late September or so, she had established herself as a core member of the Flames’ “going-out” group. Which led to one particular night at a bar in October, with Johnny having already headed home thanks to an early breakfast with his fiancée and most of the rest of the group leaving around midnight. And it was a Friday, so Elsie had let herself have a few more drinks than usual; the team didn’t have practice until noon, so Matthew let himself shrug off any worry of a hangover. And Matty and Elsie already knew each other, so they got to talking, then they got to drinking, then they got to kissing. And then Elsie cancelled her Uber to get into Matthew’s, and before she knew it they were stumbling through his doorway, her fingers tangled in his curls and her legs wrapped around his waist as he walked her back to his bedroom.
There were a few people who knew the truth, and only a few people. Matthew had Brady and his mom. His logic being, as soon as Brady knew he was even vaguely interested in someone, he never took no for an answer and would have annoyed her name out of him regardless of whether or not he was being particularly forthcoming with any personal information. His mom because if he needed any advice, if he needed someone to turn to that wasn’t the incredibly vague commentary he gave the boys in the locker room, he wanted to have someone there who wouldn’t judge him and would have his best interests at heart. Okay, scratch that. Chantal definitely judged him, lifting her eyebrows over FaceTime as he called to break the news. She knew Elsie from the one trip with Johnny she’d made out to St. Louis and the times the Tkachuks had travelled up to Canada to visit the boys, and as much as she told Matthew that keeping it a secret was just about the worst thing he could do to his friend, she couldn’t say she was exactly surprised he had fallen for Elsie. 
Elsie had Ines, her best friend from college. It was easier with her, much more straightforward with a lot fewer of the conflicts of interest she felt she got with talking with anyone in the “hockey world.” Ines knew hockey, she obviously had met Johnny and some of the other boys before. Wellesley was only a twenty-five minute drive away from the Boston city center, so the one time a year the Bruins played Calgary at home she’d go with Elsie. But Ines was compassionate, objective, and one of the smartest people Elsie had ever met in her life. She didn’t have any stake in the matter that wasn’t named Elsie Gaudreau, and she wasn’t about to mince her words because she was afraid of what Matty — or Johnny for that matter — would think. So there were people who knew, but the list was very short and, at least for the time being, they wanted to keep it that way.
For anyone on the outside looking in, who didn’t know them as well, they might have said that it was a long time coming. “It” being Matthew and Elsie’s relationship. And, if she was being honest, Elsie might have agreed. She knew Matty since he joined the team; he and her brother were thick as thieves from the beginning, and he’d visited them on the East Coast pretty much every summer since his rookie year. Visited Johnny. Not her. Johnny had made it crystal-clear from the beginning that under no circumstances was their relationship ever allowed to proceed beyond friendly. 
And it didn’t. For four years, almost, it didn’t. Sure, Elsie may have carried a torch for him from the moment they were introduced, but she was far too concerned about Matty’s physical and mental well-being to pursue anything. Even if, once or twice, she could have sworn that he felt something too. But then she moved to Calgary for grad school, and Johnny started bringing her out with the boys, and she finally got to see him in his element, really in his element. She got to see Alternate Captain Matthew Tkachuk, the one who’d go to the ends of the earth for his team, who would score goals and drop gloves and do whatever needed to be done whenever it needed to be done. And it didn’t hurt that Matty looked hot as fuck whenever he got into fights, his curls flying as he stuffed his helmet under an arm, skating over to the penalty box. It only hurt that she had let herself fall for him.
March 22 (mon)
Johnny was over at Matthew’s apartment; he had come over under a pretense of going over some tape from their last road trip, but it had quickly devolved into a very heated game of Super Smash Bros before the pair took a break for dinner. “Dude, your laundry’s in the way,” Johnny said as he made his way to the bathroom, Matthew staring at the half-cooked pot of pasta on his stove. 
“It’s clean, you can just dump it in my room,” he called down the hall. He didn’t hear the tell-tale click of the bathroom door, so he looked down the hallway, only to be greeted by a site he hoped he’d never have to see. 
A conspiratorial grin on his face, Johnny held a black, lacy pair of panties between two fingers. His sister’s panties. The half-second it took for Matthew to reach, jumping forward and grabbing them out of his hands, unfortunately wasn’t enough. He held them behind his back, almost as if he was hoping that if Johnny couldn’t see them, they weren’t really there. 
“Leigh’s?” he asked, raising one eyebrow. 
Matthew rubbed his temples with the hand that wasn’t holding the panties. “Yeah. Just...Pretend you never saw those, okay?” 
Johnny rolled his eyes. “Who would I tell? The boys? They wouldn’t care. You? You already know. Elsie?” Matthew froze. “She’d just slap me and get mad at invading your privacy.”
“And you are,” Matthew mumbles, stuffing the panties into his back pocket. 
Johnny’s brow furrowed; he leaned up against the doorframe. “Seriously, though, Chucky. What’s going on with you and this girl? You know everyone respects your decision to keep things quiet and private, but I’m your best friend on the team.” The look on his face betrayed the hurt he felt inside. “I would have thought you’d say something, to me at least.”
Matthew let out a deep breath. How was he going to talk his way out of this one? “I know, and I feel bad that it seems like I’ve been keeping things from you.” But he was keeping things. Very important things. “I think with Leigh and I, we just want to take things slow, make sure what we have is real. And I think it is,” he said, hazarding a glance at his friend. “I don’t know if it’s love, yet, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way about a girl before. But we both agree that we need to know before we open it up to the opinions of the rest of the world, before she gets shoved into the public eye. And she understands what that’s like better than most, but it’s still not fair.” 
Johnny’s ears perked. “Better than most?” Matthew froze. “What is she, like an Instagram model or something?” 
He smirked, pushing him with one hand. “No, she’s not.” 
Johnny realized quickly that he wasn’t going to be getting any more information out of Matthew anytime soon, so much to his chagrin, he dropped it. Johnny left Matthew’s apartment that night with a weird taste in his mouth, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was. And he didn’t like that. 
April 3 (sat) 
Everyone was at Gio’s house, one of his quarterly team barbecues that had quickly become one of Matthew’s favorite things as soon as he joined the team. By “everyone,” that meant the players and their families, kids, partners, parents if they were in town. Johnny hadn’t invited Elsie — he assumed she’d be getting ready for finals, which was true, but Matthew knew she could have spared an afternoon — and Matthew couldn’t think of a way to invite her himself without arousing suspicion, so she was back in her downtown apartment while the boys were busy grilling up an inhuman amount of meat for dinner.
After everyone ate and the dishwasher had been loaded, someone decided to light the fire pit, and the conversation turned to relationships. For once, Matty didn’t tune out.“It’s the little things, you know?” Gio said, tipping back his beer. “When I see Lauren in my jersey at the games, or when she’s fallen asleep on the couch waiting for us to get back from a road trip. Makes you realize that what really matters isn’t so much how many goals you score or how big a contract you have. It boils down to the quality of people in your life, and we’ve got some good ones.” 
“It’s the same thing with Leigh and I,” Matthew said. His words caused everyone to listen. There were precious few times Matthew willingly volunteered information about his relationship, and as much as his teammates genuinely did respect their penchant for privacy, that didn’t mean they wanted any fewer details. “Sometimes when she stays over and doesn’t have anywhere to be the next day, I’ll walk out to the kitchen and she’ll just be dancing around the stove, making pancakes and singing along to a Fleetwood Mac song. Usually takes her a minute or two to notice me.” 
The guys laughed, and Matty took a long pull of his beer. He wasn’t really risking anything by saying that. Plenty of people liked Fleetwood Mac. “And she’s got this little scar behind her right ear, got it from falling out of a tree as a kid. She always tries to cover it up, but I like it better when she lets it show.” Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was Matty’s frustration about not being able to say anything about the woman he was falling in love with finally coming to a head, that made him say something he maybe shouldn’t have. 
He realized, as he hesitantly met Johnny’s eyes, and could see the gears in his head turning, that he definitely shouldn’t have said anything. Johnny was looking in between his beer and Matthew, then Matthew and his beer, then his hands and Matthew’s, which were tapping nervously on the arm of his deck chair. And then he started to put things together. The orange blossom soap at Matthew’s apartment — Elsie’s favorite scents were citrus. Fleetwood Mac was one of her favorite bands. Their maternal grandma’s middle name was Leigh. And the scar. He remembered the day she got it, falling off an oak tree in their backyard in New Jersey, running into the house to get their mom and then in the car to the emergency room with a six-year-old Elsie who needed four stitches from the accident. And with an extremely uncomfortable feeling, he realized that that more likely than not, that meant the pair of panties he had picked up that one afternoon in Matthew’s apartment had been hers. He wanted to throw up. 
Matthew was sweating as Johnny finally looked him in the eyes, realizing that the secret he and Elsie had tried so hard to keep for so long wasn’t going to be a secret much longer. “Matthew,” he began, his voice dangerously low. Matthew winced. He couldn’t remember the last time Johnny had called him by his first name. “Her name’s not Leigh, is it.” He said it like a statement, because, well, it was. He knew the answer, he just needed to hear it from someone other than himself, that the one thing he had asked of his best friend had apparently proven too much. 
Matthew shook his head slowly. “No.” Everyone else’s eyes flitted between the pair, Markstrom and Gio and Andersson and everyone else very clearly confused. 
“Something going on here?” Gio asked carefully. 
“Tell them what her name is, Matthew.” Matthew squeezed his eyes shut. If he didn’t see everyone’s reactions, everyone’s disappointed faces, maybe they wouldn’t happen. 
“Elsie.” 
“Elsie what?” he prompted. 
“Elsie Gaudreau,” Matthew finished. You could have heard a pin drop, the backyard was so silent.
 “Dude, you’re dating his sister?” Noah asked. 
Matthew nodded, one hand still tightly gripping his bottle. 
“How long?” Johnny asked, looking him straight in the eyes. 
“Just under six months,” Matthew admitted. 
He sucked a breath in. “You’ve been dating my sister for six fucking months and nobody ever thought to maybe, I don’t know, tell me?”
“It didn’t start as dating, we were just—” 
Johnny cut him off. “I can see where that’s going, and I don’t want to fucking hear it, Matthew. This was the one thing I asked you to not do. You’re a fucking All-Star NHL player, Matt. You could have any girl you wanted, you could wheel half of Calgary and I wouldn’t care as long as everyone was into it. But my little sister? The one person I told you years ago was off-limits? You had to fall for Elsie?” 
“I—” Matthew stammered as he set his drink down. “I didn’t expect anything to happen. Neither of us did. But then it did, and I fell for her, and for some ungodly reason she’s decided to stay with me, and I don’t know, Johnny,” he finished weakly. “I felt terrible about keeping it from you, and for what it’s worth, Elsie does too. I feel awful about how you found out, you deserved better than this. But I won’t apologize for my feelings.”
Johnny scoffed, standing up and grabbing his keys. “She deserves better.”
April 4 (sun)
The first thing Matthew did the next day was go over to Elsie’s house. He had already called her the night before to tell her what happened; even if he didn’t, she had the numbers of half the guys on the team and more than one had texted her to check in after seeing how Johnny left things. When he opened the door, Elsie wasn’t doing well, to put it mildly. She was sitting on her couch, wrapped up in a blanket with a barely-touched mug of tea on the coffee table in front of her. She gave him a weak smile as he walked over. “Hey.”
He bent down, kissing the top of her head. “Hey, Els. How are you doing?”
“Not great.” At least she didn’t try to hide, not like it would have been any use with Matthew. He could read her almost as well as her own parents could. “I tried to call him last night and this morning, sent a few texts, just trying to explain. Asking to talk. But he hasn’t responded to anything, I called my mom and she said she hasn’t heard anything either.”
Matthew sat on the couch beside her. “He hasn’t talked to Gio either.”
She rested her head on his shoulder; his fingers carded through the soft hair at the base of her neck. “I feel like it’s my fault,” Elsie said despondently. Coming in between her brother and one of his best friends was the last thing she would have wanted, and she was starting to feel like everything was falling apart because of her. “It never would have happened if I wasn’t there,” she mumbled into Matty’s shoulder. 
Matthew immediately shook his head. “No, no, don’t say things like that, babe. It’s not your fault, don’t put all the blame on you. Everyone dropped the ball on this one, and you shouldn’t have to take responsibility for how your brother decided to react.”
They were jolted out of their relative peace by a frantic knocking on the door. Elsie furrowed her brow. “I’m not expecting anyone?” she questioned as she threw the blanket off of her lap, She opened the door to see Johnny, staring bashfully down at his hands, an apologetic look on his face. 
“I’m sorry,” he said. 
Elsie raised her eyebrows. “You should be.” After a moment, she stood aside to let him in the door.
He scratched the back of his neck, avoiding Matthew’s eyes. “I talked to Mom, she kind of chewed me out about the whole thing. Not talking to you when you called or texted, the way I kind of blew up at you yesterday,” he nodded at Matthew, “but mostly the leaving. Neither of you deserved that. You deserved to have a chance to sit down, explain yourselves, and have an adult conversation.” A flash of regret shot through his eyes, which steeled again as soon as he saw Matthew’s arms around Elsie, who had returned to the couch. “But that doesn’t mean I like it. I’m still pissed that you went behind my back, and that you two decided to do the one thing I asked you not to do, and how you blindsided me—”
“You’re not my dad, Johnny. You don’t get to decide how I live my life,” Elsie said sharply.
He screwed his eyes shut. “I know, but I love you and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you, and—”
“No more ‘ands.’ I know you don’t like it, Johnny. You’ve made that much very clear,” Elsie said in frustration. “Pretty much everyone knows that if you could make a list of guys you wanted to date your little sister, Matthew Tkachuk would be in last place. But just think,” she paused, looking up at her brother. “Think about all the things you said to look for in a guy when I started getting old enough to date. Divorce who Matty is from your feelings about us being together. You always gave me three things. Someone who cares about me. Someone who respects me. And someone who’s honest.” Johnny nodded, his hands in his pockets. “Matty is all of that and more, Johnny. He treats me better than anyone I’ve ever been with, and I love him. And that’s what you’ve always wanted for me. Nothing more and nothing less.” 
Johnny leaned up against the bookshelf. “I guess you’re right.” 
Elsie cracked a tiny grin. “I’m sorry, what was that?” 
He groaned in response. “Don’t make me say it again, I’m not going to.” She shrugged. He looked between her and Matthew, sighing. “I overreacted, and I’m sorry about that. If you love him,” Elsie smiled, “and he cares about you,” Matthew frantically nodded, “then there’s really nothing more I could ask for. I think it just hurt that you two felt like you couldn’t come to me as soon as things progressed, as soon as you got together.” 
“We were afraid you’d react like you did,” Elsie said, reaching over to grab Matty’s hand. “We never wanted to hurt you, and I might only be speaking for myself, but I think I was worried you’d try to come between us, or say something about the relationship, or…” She trailed off. “I don’t know. Sure, you shouldn’t have reacted that way, but you’re not the only one to blame. We shouldn’t have kept things from you, or from Mom and Dad for that matter.” 
Johnny laughed. “Honestly? I’m pretty sure Mom called it from the beginning.” Elsie frowned. “What do you mean?” “You know when Matty came over to Jersey in the summer when you guys were about 20, and we all took that vacation on the beach?” She nodded. “There was one time when she saw you together, running into the ocean together. You were laughing as hard as I’ve ever seen you, Matthew was splashing water back at you, and you kept trying to tackle him into the waves. Mom, Dad, and I were back up on the beach. She just looked at you two, looked at me, and smiled.” 
Matthew rubbed his thumb over the back of Elsie’s hand. “You think she knew?” he asked curiously. 
Johnny nodded. “I think she knew even before you guys figured it out for yourselves.”
“How could she tell?” Elsie asked. 
Johnny gave a soft smile, looking over towards the couple. “You’ve never been a good liar, Elsie. And you can’t hide love.”
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wheres-sam · 3 years
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I binge-watched the spn anime because of the brain rot
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It’s bad except for the parts that are good, and it’s pretty to look at. Here’s a comprehensive list of pros and cons. Spoilers ahead!
Pros:
- more psychic kid backstories: Max (Nightmare), Lily (Darkness Calling), Jake (Loser)
- more psychic Sam
- more Azazel
- basically if you want more about the psychic/demon kids, watch the anime
- more young Winchesters
- the monsters, the superhuman abilities, the fight scenes, it all looks really cool animated. (But PSA it’s violent. It doesn’t shy away from blood and gore.)
- Sam and Jessica backstory
- more of the brothers being cute and funny together
- Missouri isn’t forgotten
- includes some Japanese legends/mythology
- the impala looks great in every scene. They did Baby good
- the “Supernatural” intro title
- the outro sketches of the boys hanging out with Baby
- Episodes adapted from the original show are different, but I like some of the changes? It’d be boring if it was an exact retelling and the visual medium wasn’t utilized. (I know I said spoilers before, but this is when they get detailed. If you wanna skip over, I’ll tell you where they STOP.)
Nightmare goes more into the abuse Max has suffered. Instead of locking Sam in a closet, Max sends Sam through the floor and covers the hole by breaking his bed in half, and it’s extremely sexy how Sam shoves the 2 halves apart with his mind. Later on Dean puts bandaids on Sam and they talk about demons loudly in front of a fast food intercom.
In My Time of Dying highlights the guilt Sam feels over Dean. In both the og and the anime John verbally blames Sam for not shooting Azazel, but where in the og Sam goes right on arguing, in the anime he reels back for a moment like he was slapped. Dean’s spirit touches Sam’s shoulder, and Sam knows immediately that it’s Dean. He doesn’t even question it. Instead of “Are you here?” it’s “I know you’re with me. I can feel it.” And I love that. Dean figures out right away he’s dealing with a reaper, and the reaper takes on the appearance of Mary to convince Dean to move on to the afterlife. Instead of a Ouija board, Sam uses a laptop to talk to Dean, and the first word Dean types is “Sammy!” Dean is so fond of his little brother and Sam is so baby.
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Rising Son is an anime only episode, but it draws inspiration from John’s journal. Dean has a proper breakdown over his dad’s death and the possibility of having to kill Sam. Ms. Lyle, Sam’s favorite teacher who turns out to be possessed, is explored. John takes Dean hunting, and in the journal Dean hesitates to shoot a buck, and little Sam shoots it thinking it was endangering Dean. In the anime, Dean’s cornered by a moose and Sam makes it explode with his mind and it’s so !!! How little Sam’s first words are, “I’m glad you’re okay. It didn’t hurt you?” The boys are covered in blood and guts and Dean’s like 👁👄👁 “Why are you here? Did you do this?” And then Sam starts freaking out a little, the shock sets in. “I don’t know. I don’t know, honest.” And he’s staring at his hands, and I am a big fan of Sam showing superhuman signs as a kid. Like in the journal, Ms. Lyle tries to take Sam. She gives Sam the illusion of a choice to come with her or stay with Dean, and Sam chooses Dean. This ep is pretty much when John figures out Sam has demon blood. He kills another hunter that wants to kill Sam.
Crossroad is based on Crossroad Blues, and I love how the crossroads demon shows up. It’s hard to describe, but it’s so neat, like she’s walking underneath Dean in this mirror world, and then the mirror world takes over the regular world, so you really get this sense of otherworldly seclusion, existing outside of time.
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What Is and Should Never Be shows Dean is a firefighter in his ‘Mary never died’ world, and Sam got to play soccer growing up like he wanted. The brothers hold each other after Dean is saved from the Djinn.
AHBL part 1. When Azazel shows Sam that he fed Sam his blood, Sam gags and slaps a hand over his mouth, and I like that reaction more than the live action. The psychic kids get to go more anime with their powers, and that’s a lot of fun. They don’t need weapons. Ava slams Sam into the brick side of a building and cuts him without touching him. Jake snaps Ava’s neck with one hand and then catches Sam in his arms. When Jake attacks Sam, there’s no gun or knife. He’s relying on his super strength, his fists. Sam throws his arms up to protect himself, and (accidentally?) pushes Jake back with his mind, and the collision creates a crater in the ground. Jake puts his fist through Sam’s chest to kill him. It’s brutal and it’s rad as fuck. These kids are terrifyingly powerful.
The Sam and Dean reunion before Sam is killed is not as emotional as the live action imo, but what the anime does intrigues me. Hurts in a different way. Because Sam is stunned after he uses telekinesis again, on Jake, and when he hears Dean behind him Sam freezes. He doesn’t look relieved to see Dean, but wary and weary. It’s Dean taking steps towards him, not the other way around, and it has to be because Sam doesn’t know if Dean saw him push Jake back. Sam doesn’t know how Dean’s going to respond to all this, to him, having powers that come from a demon, the demon, Azazel. Sam hasn’t had a chance to process anything. He’s scared. He’s tired. And the way the anime focuses on Sam’s eyes here. Gah. “Dean. Dean, I’m...” I’m sorry. I’m all right. I’m glad you’re okay. I’m a monster. There’s also this one shot between Sam and Azazel that sends me because of how anime it is.
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AHBL part 2. I love how Sam brought back to life is animated, with all the color returning to his face and a light wind rustling his hair and his lips parting to indicate his soul returning to his body. Jake attacks Dean, and, a lot like how Sam activates telekinesis to save Dean from Max in Nightmare, Sam gets a burst of superhuman strength. He rips Jake’s arm off and tackles him to the ground and beats him to death, punches holes into his body, and it’s so savage and bloody and scary, and I love it. The Devil’s Gate opening looks so cool animated. Same goes for Dean shooting Azazel with the Colt.
Not to turn this into a meta post, but I also noticed how the last couple times Sam uses his powers they’re colored green-yellow, the same colors as Mary’s ghost when she reveals herself in the anime’s Home, and I don’t know if that’s intentional, but it’s neat how it draws a connection to Sam’s biological family instead of Azazel’s blood.
The Spirit of Vegas is like Bad Day at Black Rock, but Dean has all the bad luck instead, and it shows off the silly cartoony physics that make animation fun. The boys sleep outside and split a chunk of bread for dinner. Also this lil bit of Dean’s hair tied in a bow.
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- (STOP) the brothers are pretty. I am not immune to animated Sam and Dean Winchester.
Cons:
- Jensen doesn’t voice Dean until the last 2 episodes
- The English dialogue is really bad sometimes. I wish I could’ve watched the sub, but I couldn’t figure out how to change the language
- Some character designs are really different from the live action, and maybe that’s petty, but if you’re gonna change the characters diversify them? Don’t just make them unrecognizable white people
- Missouri’s design as a stereotypical witch doctor is racist
- Gordon is replaced by some British guy named Jason?? Why
- There’s an LGBT character who is not accepted by her family and, while that bigotry is always shown to be negative and she dies the hero of the episode, she still dies ://
- In the English dub Lily’s gf is made into her roommate instead. Idk about the sub
- Bobby’s pretty much a totally different character
- Sam and Dean are OOC sometimes
- Dean’s hair usually looks darker than Sam’s and it drives me crazy
- The storytelling is, overall, not nearly as good as the live action
- The non-Japanese lore in some episodes makes no sense. Sometimes it’s just plain ridiculous?? Like there’s a giant robot made of cars and scrap metal controlled by a demon? ? I wish I was making this up
- Meg’s role is severely reduced
- No Harvelles or Roadhouse
- Shadows are overused, but maybe that’s because the og show is so dark?
- I don’t mind the art style. I like the aesthetic, but I wish it was a little more expressive. It doesn’t do Sam’s puppy eyes justice.
- AZAZEL’S SHADOW?? PROPORTIONS?? PEA SIZED HEAD
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- Idk why they mashed season 1 and 2 together? The story feels rushed
- there’s not as much chemistry between Sam and Dean, but that’s a given without J2 on screen
- Nobody tells you!! That there’s scenes after the credits!! And some of them are important! Why are important scenes after the credits??
The anime would not be good on its own, without the heart and depth the live action brings, but it works as supplementary material you can cherry pick from. I would watch more if there were more episodes.
It hasn’t turned me off from wanting an spn anime. I’d like to see it continued or redone, with updated animation and better scripts. There’s a lot of potential in exploring more about the psychic kids and Sam’s powers, storylines that were cut short in the og show. Animation is a great medium for showing off the supernatural, getting creative and creepier with the designs, dramatic with the fight scenes, without having to worry about bad CGI. I don’t want a live action reboot, but I think a redone animated series could be a lot of fun! (As long as it’s not an excuse to make any romantic ships take over. SPN is a platonic love story, and I like it that way.)
If you made it to the end here and are interested in watching the spn anime, you can watch it for free on the CW Seed app! You can probably stream it elsewhere, but idk where!
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anonthenullifier · 3 years
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Tommy’s First Girlfriend
Thanks for the ask, I hope you enjoy it!  -
It is not in Tommy’s nature to be nervous. Fifteen years of data so far has confirmed this. The last time there was any speck of a wavering self confidence was right before his first review with Sam after a mission, even then it was only a speck amongst the sea of almost endless assuredness that Vision admires (and may even envy) so much in his son. But here Tommy stands, refusing to make eye contact or keep his fingers still while asking a simple question, “Is it okay if I have a, uh,” Vision catalogs the way Tommy runs a hand through his hair, failing to find any similar instances of it being a nervous tic, “friend over to watch a movie, or something.” The last two words are muttered quickly and quietly.
The request is a common one, the Maximoff house slowly becoming a haven of sleepovers and study sessions, primarily for the Young Avengers crew, much to Vision’s delight. “Of course. When-”
“Tonight.”
Wanda glances at Vision, wordlessly seeking if he’s picking up on the general weirdness of Tommy’s on edge and too abrupt, even for a speedster, responses. A small nod provides confirmation and Wanda does what he cannot, easing seamlessly into a natural candor that masks her interrogation. “That’s fine. Is it the whole group or just Nate?”
The grout between the tiles of the backsplash becomes fascinating to their son, his feet developing a gentle forwards and backwards rock. Vision turns to inspect the area above the stove, just to be sure there is not a spectral demon coming through (an event that, sadly, happened a few months prior). There is nothing but the powder blue and white checkered pattern. Eventually, with an uneasy sigh, Tommy answers, “Her name’s Lisa.”
Vision sorts through all the files of people their boys have talked about and doesn’t find a match, even amongst the files from their old schools. This is not an issue, however, because they trust their sons in choosing friends. Before Vision can state this, Wanda mines for just a touch more background, a cheery smile on her face as she asks, “Who’s Lisa?”
Tommy’s rocking increases to a rate above a normal human’s, a sure sign he is contemplating whether he remains in the kitchen with them or abandons the entire endeavor by turning into a streak of green. “I met her during Avengers Give Back,” an annual community service event Pepper started five years prior, “we cleaned up the juvie cafeteria together.”
The attendee list for that site streams through Vision’s mind, stopping at the name Lisa Molinari, female, age fifteen, Springfield, New Jersey. Vision shrugs off the slight annoyance at the knowledge of Tommy hiding a friend from them, something that is within their son’s right but Vision thought they had a more open communication relationship with their children than that, and begins planning. “Does she have any food allergies?”
“Fine, geez,” Tommy’s confession bursts out, “she’s kinda my girlfriend, I think, I don’t know, we’re feeling it out, but I just need you all to be cool and just stay out of it.” A half second of silence is enough for him to actually process the question that was asked, as opposed to the one he thought was, his eyes wide, darting everywhere but Vision and Wanda. “I uh..” If not for Vision’s optimized visual processing, he never would have seen Tommy yank his phone out nor registered the furious tapping of his fingers before being informed, “I’ll let you know when she texts back.” With that Tommy extricates himself by disappearing in a blur.
If Tommy was nervous before, now he is veering into full blown anxiety, circling the room at a pace that threatens the integrity of their couch and has led to Wanda securing the bowl of popcorn in a cloud of red so they don’t have to clean up the room again.  “Thomas…” for the majority of parenthood, Vision has found himself at a loss for how to fully advise their children, having never experienced a true childhood himself, but in this instance, he finally feels useful, remembering the way he would hover endlessly in thought at how to approach Wanda or analyze whether her laughter and gentle touches to his arm meant something more than just a close friendship. A second, “Thomas,” slows their son down. It doesn’t stop him completely, but he is now moving at a conversational pace. “Entering into a relationship can be exhilarating and terrifying. It is-”
“I’m not afraid of her, dad.”
“I should hope not.”
Tommy’s annoyance manifests in a moody sigh and an eye roll, an attitude not conducive to romance and one Vision hopes to quell. “You simply need to be yourself and enjoy your evening.” A flippant shrug is all he gets and Vision does his best to temper his own annoyance at how hard Tommy can make it to have a meaningful conversation, something Wanda assures him is fairly common for teenage humans. “You should also be sure to be respectful and remember that consent goes two ways. Neither pressure her or be pressured yourself into an action you are not ready for. There is ample time for physical developments in a relationship and thus there is no need to rush anything.”
“Oh my God.”
Wanda smirks, her hand finding Vision’s and providing him a commiserate squeeze, “Your father’s right. Relationships have to be built on trust and respect.” If he and Wanda were of the same mind, this is where the conversation would stop, however, his wife far prefers to throw a little chaos into any situation. “Plus, we’re going to be in the kitchen all night and don’t want to overhear anything, got it?”
Tommy’s flustered, “Mom,” ends abruptly at the descending two note chime of the door bell. They allow their son to answer the door, his “Hey,” deeper than usual and attempts to be suave, or so Vision assumes based on the clearly fake air of nonchalance Tommy tries to exude by shoving his hands into the pockets of his tracksuit. “Come on in.”
His date’s voice is the only thing that comes through the door,  “My foster dad wanted to make sure your parents are here.”
The exasperated tone of the statement melds perfectly with the jerky wave of Tommy’s hand, directing Vision and Wanda towards the door. Once Tommy and his date move out of the way, Wanda sends a friendly wave to the man in the silver minivan. He acknowledges them with a single honk and then drives off.
“Thanks,” with the van gone Lisa relaxes just enough to smile politely at them while still making it known how ridiculous she thinks the request was, “He’s a bit protective.”
“Understandably so.” Vision cannot fault the man. Much to Billy’s chagrin, Vision always makes sure the Altman’s are around whenever their son goes to socialize, and the Altman’s, in return, always text to be sure Teddy can come over. Realizing they are all standing in an awkward circle, Vision allows his manners to soothe the air. “Welcome, I am-“
Tommy verbally elbows his way in, eager to move them along, “My dad and this is my mom and this” he waves a hand at his date, who grins nervously during the rushed intros, “is Lisa.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“Mom, dad, you had something to do, right?”
Wanda nods, hands coming to wrap around Vision’s bicep to tug him towards the kitchen, “Let us know if you need anything.”
They remain, mostly, hidden for the duration of the night, tucked behind the wall separating the kitchen from the living room, conversing almost exclusively through Wanda’s telepathic link. At semi-random intervals either Vision or Wanda will cross the hardwood floors to get a cup of water or a snack, each time tracking the movements of the teens on the couch. Slowly Tommy inches closer to his date, their voices hushed but giddy, and on Vision’s trip back with another glass of water, his lips journey up into an easy arc at the way Lisa has slouched over, her ponytail laying across Tommy’s arm. When he sets the glass down for Wanda, taking her hand into his own so he can toy with the band of her wedding ring, Vision whispers his assessment. “They have reached the cuddling phase.”
This causes his wife’s nose to scrunch up, an adorably joyful sight, her eyes flashing red just to confirm his own conclusion, “They’re happy.”
“That’s all that matters.” Vision leans in, placing a kiss to his wife’s forehead, fond memories surfacing of their own movie night where they transitioned from friends to something more. “Would you care to join me on the deck for some stargazing?”
Instead of agreeing, she studies his face, an air of suspicion hovering between them, “You want to abandon our post?”
“I want to give them some time.”
The curl of her lips suggests she remembers their own pleas to their teammates, of just wanting time and space to exist as a couple instead of being subjected to prying eyes and whispers, “All right, Maximoff.”
Wanda accepts his arm and follows him out the back door and onto the swinging bench.
Time loses meaning under the stars with Wanda snugly wedged under his right arm. Which is why he’s surprised to hear the door open, gentle, unhurried footfalls bringing Tommy to the swing. Wanda brings her knees up, hugging them to her chest to give Tommy space to plop down, the action sending the swing into a wobble.
“How was your date?”
Unlike his usual sardonic avoidance, Tommy smiles, eyes upturned towards the sky, “It was fun.”
Vision cannot control how the world treats his children, no matter how valiantly he tries, and so he relishes moments like now, content in knowing Tommy is happy. “Wonderful.”
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mmmleckerlecker · 3 years
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Please do go off about why you chose certain chapter titles
I wanna know it all 👀
Well. I mean. *cracks knuckles* If you insist....
(putting in a read more tho cause I just break down every chapter title so it gets lengthy)
Some of them are kinda obvious and simple. Like “The Meeting” details Felix and Benji’s first meeting. Duh.
“‘Someone Like You’” is named after a quote in the chapter HOWEVER it IS a quote that comes back once Felix learns about consuming and what Mrs. Marotta truly meant when she said it.
I think “Lion’s Den” was my first ‘clever’ chapter title. There’s not really anything deeper to it than being a reference to the fact that Benji innocently walks into a house filled with preds (the majority of which have consumed fatally)
“The Truth” is simply named for the fact that it’s the chapter where Felix learns the truth about preds and consuming. However, it’s somewhat unintentional (maybe I did it subconsciously), but I think most chapters that start with ‘the’ in the title, are sort of markers for important milestones in the story/character arcs. So, for instance, so far the Big Things to happen have truly been their meeting and learning the truth
“Trust” is also pretty straightforward but I do think it’s the beginning of a sort of reoccurring theme in the story. I also just find the concept of trust fascinating, especially when it’s given to people who naturally don’t seem to deserve it (like Felix)
And then there’s “Crush”!! This chapter was definitely named after the fact that it’s about Camille’s crush on Felix. HOWEVER I liked the sound of it because it was a sort of dark foreshadowing for how their relationship would evolve as time went on.
Was the chapter “Changes” inspired a little bit by the David Bowie song? Maybe so. Do I hear it play in my head every time I read the chapter title? Who is to say? (Same kind of goes for “‘Someone Like You’” where that Adele song plays)
Mmm and “Instinct” was of course named after the fact that this is when Felix’s pred instincts really kick into overdrive and start pushing him down the road to becoming Lux. I know it’s another simple title but I like to think it mirrors “Trust” in a way. Not only are they single word titles, but they’re both reoccurring themes in the story. They’re also both sort of the defining factor in Felix and Benji’s relationship. Does Benji have enough trust in Felix that he’s safe? Are Felix’s instincts powerful enough to jeopardize that safety? Only time will tell...
Okay now listen. Imma be honest. The line, “For Benji,” was NOT originally in this chapter. I was trying to come up with a title and I was like “doesn’t Felix think that to himself at some point?” Turns out ahh nope he didn’t. But no worries. I can do what I want. I simply slipped it in there and now it’s the chapter title. I really only wanted this title For The Drama.
Oof the title for “A Single Condition” was a little difficult to come up with. It’s just that SO MUCH happens in this chapter. It’s the longest chapter in the story so far.* But ultimately the line about Prey Man having a single condition really stood out to me as it’s basically the driving force for the next few chapters so that’s how I got that chapter title. (*Now when I say it’s the longest in the story, I mean it’s the longest POSTED chapter. There’s been more than one chapter I’ve had to split into two when posting cause they’re just too damn long.)
Now “The Scorpion” is one I’m super proud of. I uh dunno how many people got the reference but it’s to the Fable called “The Scorpion and the Frog” where a scorpion asks for a ride across the river on the back of the frog. The frog refuses at first, saying the scorpion will surely sting and kill him while he swims. The scorpion reassures the frog, saying that if he dies, the scorpion will also die by drowning as he cannot swim. The frog agrees to help.... and the scorpion stings him. As they both die, the frog asks why the scorpion did it, and the scorpion responds that it’s simply in his nature. The Scorpion, in this case, is Felix who betrays Benji simply by giving in to his nature. (Note that I don’t really agree with the message behind the fable, but ya know... The Symbolism.)
And then obviously “The Frog” is a reference to Benji who also makes the mistake of trusting his natural enemy and paying for it dearly. (Fun fact but these two chapters where originally one that I split into two to keep the lengths reasonable. And BOY WAS IT A GOOD DECISION. That one week between releases where everyone was LOSING it because they didn’t know whether Felix would let Benji out or not.... was a Good Week)
I think “A New Perspective” was a pretty straightforward title decision. As low key as the chapter itself. I do find it interesting tho that both chapters that start with “A” in the title have to do with Benji getting his world rocked upon learning how other prey view preds
YASSS and then there’s “Lux.” I like this chapter title purely because I don’t think people realized the significance of it when I first posted it. Like it really was like “oh Felix has a cute nickname. That’s fun!” And then several chapters later it’s just “oh okay so Lux really is this whole different side to him huh?” Like this chapter is the absolute true beginning to Lux. Love it.
And for “Lilian” this was a chapter title meant to mirror the previous one. They’re the only two chapters named after a character, they’re back to back, and they both start with an L (although that wasn’t intentional, it just sorta happened lol). This chapter was also originally combined into one chapter with the previous chapter, but again, I broke them up to save on length.
“The Alliance” was simply named for the Pred-Prey Alliance in the chapter, also the driving force for the main conflict (but also note that it’s another chapter title that starts with “the”)
AND THEN we have “The Facility,” the title for which is meant to mirror the one before it because... this is it. These are the two chapters that cement Camille and Felix going down completely opposite paths with Benji stuck right in the middle.
“Homecoming” I think is... a kind uncreative title. But truly not much happens in the chapter itself except that.... Benji comes home
Now for “A Place to Belong” (note how this is the other chapter title that begins with “A”), I think simply titling it “Epomis” was a huge temptation. It’s The Big Reveal and it would sort of mirror the title for chapter 17 “The Facility.” HOWEVER. I thought naming it that would be too much of a spoiler. Especially if a new reader happened to be skimming through the list of chapters. It would give away the significance too soon. And I hate giving spoilers away more than I liked the drama of the title, so I went with “A Place to Belong” instead.
Okay and I’m very much proud of “Golden Boy” because it’s such a small line in the chapter, and the title itself is vague enough that no one would question it until they had more context. And then you get the context and you REALIZE how significant The Golden Boy really is. (Also maybe a little bit cause Lux’s name means “light” and I just like the image of golden light)
“Busy Work” was another one of those uninspired titles for another one or those lowkey Benji chapters. Hmm maybe they should get a category of their own since they keep happening. Anydays. The title mayyy have also been a small reference to the Avatar episode “Bitter Work” in which Toph first (attempts) to teach Aang to earthbend. (Because that show is my favorite ever and I think it inspires my writing a lot in general.)
“The Mission” title is also quite obvious but notice how it’s another “The” title! This is the chapter that marks the beginning of Benji’s path back to Felix/Lux. I’d say that’s pretty important.
Mmmm I love the title for “‘To Live and Give.’” When I first wrote that line a few chapters earlier I was evil smiling to myself about how I was planning to bring it back with a MUCH darker twist. I love it.
“‘All Mouths That Surround You’” aka one of my fave chapters. The perfect intro for the new Lux. This is a reference, of course, to the alt-J song “Every Other Freckle,” which I’ve associated with Lux from the beginning. Now. I realize that some (most) lyric sites list that line as “all baths that surround you.” I think out of context, that line sounds strange, but there IS another line that’s clearly “all showers that shower you” so I guess that would make more sense to include baths as well. But is that as sexy as “mouths”? Absolutely not. So we improvise, overcome, adapt. Moving right along.
“The Reunion,” which I sorta mentioned earlier, is meant to mirror the very first chapter, “The Meeting” and I think that’s beautiful. Like I’m all about taking everything that seemed happy and innocent in the beginning of this story and twisting it so it matches the darker tone of the rest.
“Table Talks” is a little bit of a meh title to me but I do find it entertaining that I think table talks are usually.... not as angsty and full of conflict as Benji and Lux’s is.
“Kleptoparasite” is, as mentioned earlier, a reference to Lux stealing Cecil’s prey. It’s the ~scientific~ term for an animal that acquires its prey by stealing it from other predators. I mostly chose it because I wanted something more clever than “Stolen Prey” (and also I like incorporating Real Life stuff into the story. Like how Epomis is a beetle whose larvae practice predator/prey role-reversal in nature).
And finally there’s “Crumple” which is a callback all the way to chapter 6 “Crush.” This time Camille really IS a crumpled mess. The chapter really hits home with how her and Lux’s relationship has changed over the years. And, of course, it’s just me again doing the classic twist of making things in the early years darker to fit the later years.
Okay! That’s everything up to date so far! I hope this is what you meant when you wanted to “know all” 😂
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Barlow - Walls Of Future [Review]
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 I was made aware of Barlow when Flower Crown toured through Cleveland with them in 2017. Since then, I’ve seen them release an album, In A Strangers Car, which absolutely blew me away, as well as a masterful split with Gaadge. In addition, they released two C-60 compilation tapes chock full of rarities, demos, comp appearances, split appearances, and more. Named Blue Rounds and Pink Rounds respectively, they gave even the most casual listener a wide glimpse into the style and structure of the band. With these releases, Barlow marked themselves as a band willing to experiment and continually make strides in a genre that often ends up homogenous. The new album, Walls Of Future, keeps going were their other releases left off, delivering another supremely satisfying chunk of fuzzed-out dizzying alt pop, with a few nice surprises. 
First off, the packaging on this, like on all Barlow releases, is immaculate. Hand-cut thick 4-panel double-sided j-cards with full-color art in a classic Barlow collage style, with a little fold-up lyric sheet to boot. One of my favorite parts of getting a Barlow release is how they package them, it makes it feel like the art just popped into existence one day in the perfect spot at the perfect time. Everything about this tight little package is nice and it makes me wish they would reissue some old stuff so I can feel this more often. 
 Side A starts strong with a string of rippers that are new even to the most devoted Barlow fan. The opener, Flashover, is the next in a long line of excellent album openers from the band. Shed The Light is an unassuming thumping chunk of classic shoegaze that sucks you in with its metronomic beat and makes you wish it was longer. The same can be said of the third track, Icon, clocking in under a minute but packing in quite a bit of riffage. Object Of… is an early favorite with a wonderfully catchy chorus, a prime example of Barlow’s fantastic melodic ability. Sucko was released as a double single with the B-side opened Arm Of Gold a while back, and the album version seems perfectly paced and well-placed in the track listing, and in my opinion, it’s a standout track even more on the album than it is on the single EP. At Home plods along in a melancholy way that feels just right for the oncoming fall weather before bursting into bigger feedback and fading away, and Red Car finishes the side with a shimmering guitars over a hypnotic backbeat and angelic vocals that eventually slows and breaks down before cutting fairly harshly at the end of the tape side.
 Side B starts with another pre-release single, Arm Of Gold, which is definitely Barlow at their peak, fast and loud. It’s followed up by a piano-flecked chunk of beauty called In Line that fakes the listener out before it eventually builds into a fuzzy conclusion. Followed by the final pre-release single, Makes My Life, it’s a beautiful example of the breadth of Barlow’s tones in a short amount of time, and a solid start to the side. Makes My Life was first found on the b-side of the Arm Of Gold/Sucko single in slightly altered form, and this version is once again better than its predecessor. However, the same cannot be said for the album finale, Sodom Star. Sodom Star was the first non-noise track on Pink Rounds, released in late 2019, so not only is the track still fresh on the minds of many Barlow fans due to it being the ‘first’ track on another release, but especially with it being the final track on the album, I felt that the new version had a lot to live up to. The delays in the intro and similar section later on are set to a wonky time, making it sound like the band is playing out of time at the first/casual listen. The intensity of the guitar effects is definitely dialed back in this version, not to its benefit, and a lackluster fade-out ending takes away from it’s power even more. It feels like it should have been included, but not as the final track. Other side B tracks like Ankh and Tell Me What You Want Me To Do arguably hit harder and have a better air of finality, in addition to not being released yet, which is always my preference. Ankh gets bonus points because it does that thing I love where the album title is used as a lyric. In such a penultimate song, it seems perfectly placed. 
 Barlow, from my viewpoint, is fairly uncompromising. The band does what they want, when they want to, with no record labels and no management other than the 3 band members assembling tapes before releases. But at the same time, nobody does it better than they do. Walls Of Future is nearly perfect, and while it has a small stumble in the back half, but I can admit it’s mostly just personal preference, and it is definitely a great point in a beautiful and bountiful discography. It’s hard to outdo In A Stranger’s Car in my mind, but the album will likely grow on me the longer I listen, and I will be continuing to listen often. Stick the tape in your old car stereo and let it get stuck, it’s a great soundtrack to late night drives during this changing of the seasons. 
 As a post-script, here’s a reminder: ten years ago on 9/17/10, Barlow hit the stage for the first time, and this 9/17 they’re playing their first show in quite a while. If you’re in western PA, hit them up and check it out. 11 copies are left of Walls Of Future on their bandcamp at time of writing, grab one there or at this gig. Act quick, you might miss out if you wait. 
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