#thinking he’s all that everyone pretending he ain’t sh*t when we all know HE IS SH*T | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

danielxricciardo · 3 years

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Prompts

1. "Hi, my ex just walked in. Would you hold my hand please?"

2. "I didn't expect to see you here."

3. "Have you seen this dog?"

4. “That mouth of yours, does it ever stop making noise”

5. “Seven minutes in heaven is for virgin teenagers”

6. “Slam that door one more time and I’ll shove my foot straight up your cute ass”

7. “Jesus! Knock next time would you”

8. “You have money go and get yourself a hoodie that’s not mine”

9. "I hate roses, I thought you knew"

10. "Do you think I am an angel? Ha"

11. "I wanted to sleep but someone decided to die"

12. "I can kill you right now, what are you talking about?"

13. "Hi, I am lost, can you come after me?"

14. "When I first saw you I wanted to date your best friend"

15. "I am so funny and you are just jealous"

16. "If I have to choose... no"

17. "Stop breathing like that!"

18. "I just did my nails"

19. "I'm the best driver în the world"

20. "Will you marry me?" "No"

21. "I think I broke my arm" "So?"

22. "I think I love you" "Thanks"

23. "My arms are lonely, don't you think?"

24. "Apparently we are dating"

25. “Well it’s kind of hard to move when you’re sitting on my lap”

26. "Those things you said yesterday, did you mean them?"

27. "If we elope, you think they'll kill us?"

28. "This is yours"

29. "You can’t just kiss me, laugh and then walk away."

30. "Are you using ass as a pillow?"

31." I find your lack of faith disturbing."

32. "And I took it personally"

33. "In here I am the boss"

34. "Oh, bite me!" "Where?"

35. "What will you do if we break up?"

36. "Where is my T-shit?"

37. "This is no time for sarcastic comments." "There is always time for sarcastic comments."

38. "I’ll keep quiet, you won’t even know I’m here."

39. "The way you flirt is just awful"

40. "Don’t be fooled. I’m the epitome of mess."

41. " If you are on TV should I congratulate you?"

42. "And this, is why we can’t have nice things."

43. "That's what he said"

44. "I am scared of your boss"

45. "You should know, a lot of girls have a crush on me"

46. "Everyone is afraid of you"

47. "If I'm watching that movie one more time I'll lose my fucking mind!"

48. "I thought being on vacation will be stress free"

49. "My parents don't trust you"

50. "I don't think I should give my last name so easily"

51. “I really wish I could unsee that.”

52. “Who would’ve guessed we’d be sharing a room.”

53. “I feel like you have an unhealthy obsession with me.”

54. “Nah he’s fine, it’s the other one you really got to watch out for.”

55. “I have a suggestion.” “I’m not taking my clothes off so forget it.”

56. “You’re the genius, why don’t you tell me?”

57. “Have I ever told you your accent makes me swoon?” “Really?” “No.” He/she smiles. “ that’s why I’ve never told you.”

58. “I’m alive? How am I still alive?”

59. “You’re crazy! I love it!”

60. “Never have I ever is about to get a lot more interesting.”

61. “What did they do?” “Dude. They did the do.”

62. "You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!"

63. "Well this is awkward."

64. "Im too sober for this."

65. "Im pregnant." "Wall done, Virgin Mary!"

66. " I want to protect you."

67. "Kill that spider and maybe I'll forgive you"

68. "I have no one to go to the wedding"

69. "Don’t you dare touch _______!"

70. "I thought you were dead!"

71. "This is, without a doubt, the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in."

72. "Take care of you, please"

73. "If your best friend single?"

74. "Just remember, if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English."

75. "Why does everyone assume we're a couple?"

76. "Im craving something sweet" "Are you pregnant or something?"

77. " What is the magic word?" "I'll kill you în your sleep"

78. "When I see you my knees get weak"

79. "Finally you're single. Can I take you on a date?"

80. " So, I guess you don’t do after hours?"

81. "I know what I'm doing, I've watched two whole seasons of Grey's Anatomy."

82. "I can't believe I'm stuck here with you right now."

83. "Okay, this did not go as I planned it in the shower."

84. "I'm not going to sit around and watch you destroy yourself."

85. "You were my best friend"

86. "You did what?"

87. "Can you just pretend to love me for a second!"

88. "You are enough"

89. "Take the shirt off"

90. "Your nickname is bitch"

91. "What do you want to watch?" "You"

92. "How could you ask me that?"

93. "Your mouth does this thing and I can't resist it"

94. "Are you allowed to drink?"

95. "I said Im done, leave me alone!"

96. "Don’t raise your fucking voice at me”

97. “Yeah, I remember the drill”

98. “Tell me again, slowly this time, why that dog is in my bed.”

99. “Gave you so much, but it wasn’t enough.”

100. “You and me, we were destined to fall apart.”

101. “No, you don’t know who you are until somebody breaks your heart.”

102. “I want to tell you everything. The words I never got to say the first time around.”

103. “It’s better to feel pain, than nothing at all.”

Song lyrics prompts

1. “It’s the little things about us, that I love so much.”

2. “Last night I told you I loved you // woke up blamed it on the vodka”

3. “It’s a better place since you came along”

4. “You make me love the things I hate “

5. Just a paper sheet and half a cigarette are left in my hand

6. Your faith walks on broken glass

7. "And can you teach me how to dance real slow?"

8. "I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe"

9. "One night, you won't forget the rest of your life"

10. "We only said goodbye with words"

11. "I'll try to give you love until the day you drop"

12. "I like the pretty boys with the bow tie"

13. "Lets get drunk forget what we did"

14. Your kisses lift me higher

15. When you're ready we can share the wine

16. "And if you don't love me now you will never love me again"

17. "Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?"

18. "When there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove"

19. She's the kind of girl who only asks you over when its raining, just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling.

20. Now I understand, you're a human, and you got to lie, you're a man

21. The good and the bad times: we've been through them all.

22. Now I ain't educated but I sure ain't stupid

23. I grew up in the shoes they told me I could fill

24. It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep

25. A lover would just complicate my plans

26. And in the morning, i’ll be with you, but it will be a different kind

27. My heart is yours, it’s you that i hold on to

28. And with one kiss, you inspired a fire of devotion that lasts for twenty years

29. I let go of my claim on you, it’s a free world

30. I’m in my bed, and you’re not here and there’s no one to blame, but the drink in my wandering hands

31. Cause you gave me peace and i wasted it, I’m here to admit that you were my medicine

32. Oh, dear diary, i met a boy, he made my doll heart light up with joy. Oh, dear diary, we fell apart, welcome to the life of electra heart

33. For you, I would cross the line, I would waste my time, I would lose my mind

34. Is it really me you're missing?

35. Remember that night?

36. How many times can I break till I shatter?

37. As long as I breathe, I’ll call you my home

38. "You wouldn't know love if it crushed your fucking chest."

39. "When we scream our lips don't make a sound."

40. "Please don't let me sink, wrap your arms around me and carry me home."

41. "This hasn't torn us apart so nothing ever will."

42. "A long time ago we believed that we were united."

43. "I miss the person that you were but I don't miss you."

44. "If home is where the heart is, why do I feel so fucking heartless?"

45. "I can't live, I can't breathe with or without you just go away."

46. "I'm not afraid to die, I'm afraid I'll survive and have to watch you suffer."

47. "I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away."

48. "I'm not like you I just fuck up."

49. "All because of you I believe in angels, not the kind with wings, no not the kind with halos. The kind that bring you home when home becomes a strange place."

50. "I just want to go to sleep and never wake up again."

51. “I wish people liked me more.”

52. “How could I ever love someone else?”

53. “I guess you’re getting everything you want.”

54. “She probably gives you butterflies.”

55. “I hope that you’re okay.”

56. “I defended you to all my friends.”

57. “I never cared about what they say, only care about me and you”

58. “Either way i’m gonna lose, so i’m just gonna keep on loving you”

59. “You know i’m bad at communication, it’s the hardest thing for me to do”

60. “Iwas your lover, i was your friend, now I’m only just someone you call when it’s late enough to forget”

61. “It’s fucked up but it’s true that i love you like i do”

62. “Well we both had nights waking up in strangers beds but i don’t wanna, don't wanna, i don’t wanna give up yet”

63. “Tell me I’ve got it wrong somehow.”

64. “I’m begging for you to take my hand.”

65. “I can’t make it go away by making you the villain.”

66. “He feels like home.”

67. “I’d be breaking all my rules to see you.”

68. “But I know you’re not scared of anything at all.”

69. “When can I come back?”

70. “I’m ready to owe you anything”

71. “I’ll always look best in your head”

72. “I know you know it’s wrong, but I’m ready”

73. “All I ever want is breaking me apart.”

74. “Let's talk sweetly like all our love is false.”

75. “You put a fire in my heart, painted blood on my stars, gave me faith.”

76. “I wanna meet your girlfriend, she sounds nice.”

77. “How is kissing me so wrong?“

78. “Can’t you see that I’m already yours?”

79. “I’ve been losing track of the romantic sh*t I’m tryna say but basically I love you"

80. “I don’t wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips, I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath”

81. “I apologize for all your tears, I wish I could be different but I’m still growing up into the one you can call your love”

82. “I’m out of my head, of my heart, of my mind cause you can run but you can’t hide, I’m gonna make you mine”

83. "I never loved someone the way that I love you"

84. "It's the way that you know what I thought I knew, it's the beat that my heart skips when I'm with you"

85. "I hope she gettin' better sex, hope she ain't fakin' it like I did, babe"

86. “I know we’re young and people change and we may never feel the same”

87. “I can’t change the world, but maybe I’ll change your mind”

88. "You don't own me. Don't tie me down 'cause I'd never stay."

89. "Leave everything that is worth a single cent and just take me instead."

90. "And then I got you off your knees, put you right back on your feet, just so you can take advantage of me."

91. "Hey, I can't let you go with nobody. Cause I love you, baby."

92. "Tell me that it wasn't my fault and that I was enough for you."

93. "We were good at faking forever, I get it, whatever."

94. "Cause you had your chance and you blew it. Yeah, you ripped it up and you chewed it."

95. "Well, I'm too busy for your business. Go find a girl who wants to listen."

96. "Stop looking at me with those eyes, like I could disappear and you wouldn't care why."

97. "Oh, we could do whatever you want, but boy, don't go falling in love, you can't stay with me, all you'll ever have is one day with me"

98. "I pray the medication slow me down, but that shit doesn't work when you're around"

99. "Told her that I loved her once and now she'd kill for me"

100. "What the tell were we? Tell me we weren't just friends"

Who I write for

Formula 1

Daniel Ricciardo

Lewis Hamilton

Max Verstappen

Charles Leclerc

Esteban Ocon

Carlos Sainz

Lando Norris

Lance Stroll

Sebastian Vettel

Mick Schumacher

Pierre Gasly

George Russel

Football

Erling Haaland

Jadon Sancho

Giovanni Reyna

Jude Bellingham

Julian Brandt

Marco Reus

Roman Bürki

Emre Can

Mats Hummels

Leon Goretzka

Joshua Kimmich

Kai Havertz

Mason Mount

Christian Pulisici

Ben Chilwell

Gerard Pique

João Félix

Ianis Hagi

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain

Trent Alexander-Arnold

Virgil van Dijk

Jens Petter Hauge

Martin Ødegaard

Alexander Sørloth

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #imagine #fanfiction #formula 1 #football #my prompts #soccer #erling haaland #daniel ricciardo #max verstappen #charles leclerc #carlos sainz jr #lando norris #lance stroll #lewis hamilton #premier league #bundesliga #grand prix

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witchycandle222 · 3 years

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Headcanons for that strip club AU: (NSFW)

Hatter

Owns the place (Obvs)

Rich AF

Addresses everyone as either "Darling", "Sweetie", "Sweetheart", or "B*tch". Unless it is Aguni. He is an exception

*Grips Aguni's arms* "See these guns? I own these guns!"

Calls the club, Wonderland/Borderland or something

Calls group meetings when he wants to, sometimes for no reason

Walks around in that that kimono all the time like a fab human being that he is

"Aguni, can I speak with you for a second...?" We all know what that means...

Has an office with pictures of the entire team, doing stuff like getting drunk, making out and occasionally having someone who is just trying to eat in the background

Treats everyone like family... But also like a cult

Ain't gonna judge your preferences. If you want a man you'll get them. If you want a woman you can also have one.

One of the main rules is consent

Has an entire complex building above the place and gives everyone 28383728 keys so everyone can go up there and sleep like in a hotel

Aguni

Doesn't smile

Beats the hell out of everyone who deserves it

That guy who stands behind you when you are doing something wrong, until you notice

Physically picks up the people who are being an annoying piece of sh-

Cries when Chishiya is performing cause damn he is so proud of his son

Gotta keep an eye on Niragi to, make sure he doesn't cause a mess/fight or both

Niragi

Has a load of money and no one knows where it comes from

Licks (Or tries to) everyone there

Always tried to get up on the stage to hug the performer. Is so drunk/careless he falls of stage

Only shows up JUST to see Chishiya most of the time cause he is obsessed.

Yells all over the place

Doesn't care if it is a woman or not. If he wants it, he will screw it. But never gets to

Last Boss

Creepy as hell to everyone

Everyone thinks he has a leg problem because of the way he walks

Pretty much the same as Niragi. Has no preference.

Always has the prettiest and most girly drinks but why not break gender norms while you are there?

Someone: "What are you supposed to be? A dragon?"

The Last Boss: *Judges silently*

Silent the entire visit

Mira

Creepy af waitress

Smiles creepily at everyone

"Welcome, I'm gonna be the Queen of Hearts in your nightmares tonight..."

Walks super slowly with her fingers pressed together like in the show

Plays card games with Chishiya in the dressing room

"Don't talk to me I'm on my dinner break"

Walks around in super loud high heels

Drinks wine and reads feminist novels during break times

Fans herself with dollar bills (Or whatever the Japanese currency is)

Ann

The prettiest woman there

Wears a LOT of lipstick

Falls asleep on the dressing room floor

Dressed like the white queen

Wears a LOT of pearls

Can have a deep convo with anyone

Actually has strong legs and can hang off that pole like a damn bat on a cave ceiling

Chishiya

"Class sl*t"

Wears cat ears

"No, Arisu you are doing it wrong..." *Proceeds to do the sexiest thing in existence*

Gets a lot of male attention. Does he dislike it? No, he does not

"Don't talk to me, I'm going on a milk and smoke break"

Plays cards games in the dressing room with Mira and Ann

Will grind and lick you cause he is good at it and why not

Walks around and judges everyone... And their outfits with Kuina

Reports back who comes the most often for Hatter to list down

Walks around. Hoodie round his elbows, shirtless

Wears a collar

Arisu

Really friendly with the locals

Actually Hatter's favourite... Chishiya comes a close second

Wears a ton of glitter around his eyes

Is actually really good friends with Karube... But everyone loves him

Sometimes falls of the pole

Really clumsy and floppy

Really popular with the young women

Sometimes wears makeup... Sometimes...

Always concerned about the new people who don't know their way around

Wears that weird scarf made from feathers (Edit: Boa)

Never gets drunk. Never smokes

Everyone calls him Alice because they are either too drunk, too deaf or too ignorant to realize that is not his name So, he pretty much just goes by Alice by everyone

Kuina

Is called a caterpillar

Smokes with you. If you are friendly enough

Will protect her fellow women

Sometimes her and Chishiya will perform as a duo. (Cause you never know there might be bi people in the audience 🤷‍♀️)

Smiles a lot, so people find her very approachable

"You should get the ribs. They are really good!"

Always keeping Karube company cause he works hard too!!

Flicks her braids at you when she is trying to send the message that she doesn't like you

Women approach her too

Usagi

Bunny waitress

Will kick your *ss if you harass people

Always looking out for Arisu

Gets super hot dressed in that tight bunny outfit, so she is stepping outside a lot

Cooks really good from time to time

Coughs a lot cause of people smoking in there

Her and Kuina come as an *ss kicking duo

She can't walk in high heels... She just can't...

Karube

That lovely, bubbly, friendly bartender who everyone loves

If you are being an *ss hole. He WILL tell you

Gotta respect those women

Actually really good at making drinks

Gets super flattered and flustered when men are flirting with him

"These people have terrible music taste..."

Super sweaty from running around

"Do you want an olive with that? Or maybe a peanut?"

"Of course, they steal my hawaiian shirts to perform!" *Throws arms up in frustration*

Really talkative and when you are feeling alone he WILL start a convo about the government with you

Tatta

Tatta: "I'm only here for the drinks and the food"

Person: "Don't you want a private performance, while you are here, at least?! "

Tatta, while chewing on that rib: "What"

Gets peered pressured to go there by his "friends"

Always forgets where the exit is.

Actually makes friends with the people who work there and whenever he is around, everyone is chill

Vibing to the songs

Actually enjoying himself

Chota

Gets pressured to go there by his work "Friends". Ya'll see a pattern here?

V*rgin who gets super excited unexpectedly

Meets Shibuki and they actually just talk

Spends most of the time going there because Karube and Arisu actually understand his problems and don't ignore or pretend to like him

Karube is then like "We should all make a run for it" they then go for a huge bike ride around the city

Only goes there to see Shibuki, Arisu and Karube at this point. But on his own free will

Actually enjoys himself and for once in his life doesn't feel lonely

Goes a bit mental and promises to take Shibuki away with him using all his money and they will live together and buy a house and have three kids and have cat and three dogs-

Shibuki

Wears those big silk fluffy gowns. But it's open, so all her underwear is exposed for all you out there watching

Smokes a lot

Drinks martinis cause she is elegant like that

Really caring of everyone's issues

Always asks for her man's consent

Women get flustered when she talks to them. Even if it is just normally

Actually really intelligent

Her nickname is "Buki"

Asahi + Momoka

Whenever someone talks to them, Aguni is like: "Don't talk to my daughters!"

Do everyone's looks/hair

Always stick together

Waitress A LOT

Don't dress up. Just stick a shell necklace, some shorts, a t shirt and they r ready to work

The youngest there

Always get asked what they are doing there since they are so young

Absolutely TERRIFIED of Mira. She is like there boss specifically

Reblog. Can't wait to see those fanfics/oneshots! Love u guys

#Alice in borderland #Alice in borderland headcanons #Alice in borderland au #Alice in borderland fanfic #Alice in borderland fanfic request

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teacup-baphomet · 3 years

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G/t plot bunny 1

ugh generic title is generic but whatever.

so basically there are these two people - humans - and they are like ghost/cryptid hunters.

in my head. There is one guy and one girl. The guy is very excitable and happy-go-lucky (an optimistic ray of sunshine type with his head in the clouds).

The girl is more down-to-earth. A tad on the pessimistic side maybe. a little more rough around the edges. will throw hands at the drop of a dime to protect the people she cares about no matter how daunting the challenge is (like she will take on an entire gang herself is she needs to orr - well, you’ll see later in this plot bunny).

They are currently somewhere - idk where- and there is like big arse castle thing. Entirely made of stone. Ornate. and mostly like “f***off” big. like the theories/lore behind it is some ancient, archaic civilization made this castle for their god(s) as some symbolic gesture.

But the duo is here because it’s supposed haunted af.

And they want to either prove that or disprove that.

all for the sake of likes on the internet. such a noble causes lol. nah. they get paid too so mostly there’s that.

anyways. as it turns out it is NOT haunted.

but rather someone - something? - BIG is sorta imprisoned in the structure. Not visible at first. Hidden away ... somewhere, perhaps an alternate dimension or something. Until freed.

And the duo accidentally frees him.

Anyways, the big guy is basically the result of a king from the long dead civilization getting super greedy and basically doing some weird ritual to get limitless power. It goes terribly wrong - for the king- and he ends up getting possessed, well more like completely hijacked and the king is kinda dead now - by some sorta being. a shapeshifting something that tends to be on the lorg side.

The being didn’t really have a gender until he took over the king’s earthly form and then he decided “huh, guess i’m a dude” so he tends to shapeshift into a male form. typically big. typically kinda monstrous. haven’t thought of how monstrous. or if the shapeshifter being is demonic or not. or what does “demonic” even mean if so.

kinda leaning towards a monstrous in a dragon-boy kinda way. wings. horns. rows of sharp teef. claws. scaly forearms and lower legs as well as various other patches of scales. glowing eyes. firebreath.

with some hints of elderitch monstrosity. so maybe like a third eye on their forehead and perhaps a wee eye on each of the little clawed hand things on his wings. idk. plus the ability to make prehensile shadow tendril/tentacle things shoot out from his body. or something like that.

but i dunno. if i write this or not is hecking big IF anyways. like most of my ideas -writing and especially drawing. my muse is so dang fickle. i could come up with ocs and plots and dumb banter/dialogue and i can get to vague sketch stage with drawings but after that it’s like uhhhh... i lose steam i guess..

but yeah... how monster-y big dude is, is well up for debate i guess

but yeah. so he appears. and the shapeshifter monsterboy king dude is thinking it’s gonna go like ‘k. i’m free now. gonna just get rid of the people who freed me with a condescending thanks and then take over the world mwahahaha”

but it does not go like that. at all.

because oh no. the lil guy who freed him is adorable. and he’s so..so happy? but... why? and his first words to him are “wow. you’re amazing! so friggin cool! I wish i looked as bad*ss” or something like that

and the big guy is like all flustered because he’s used to people running and screaming at him and his monsterous appearance. that is partially why he likes to be monstrous looking to be frank.

he never considered how nice it is to be genuinely complimented. or you know to have friends. or even something more~

so he’s at a lost. which is something that’s never happened to him before. making him even MORE at a loss.

and he’s rather amused, impressed with the bravery the wee gal as well. as she looks ready to fight him herself if he even thinks of hurtin’ the lil ray of sunshine guy. it’s kinda.... endearing???

so oops. no world domination. ah, well...

instead he has a best friend and maybe something more with that lovely ray of sunshine man~

and maybe... just maybe... being good and kind... isn’t all that bad?

even if he is a monstrous eldritch giant maybe demon thing.

who says he has to stick to stereotypes. he’s BIG. he can do what he wants. right?

and i dunno after that..

I’m thinking. that this is when they find out he’s sorta attached to the castle for some reason. and thus stuck in his BIG monsterboy mode (as well as stuck to a certain area). and thus beyond being stuck to the vicinity in the castle and near the castle atm he can’t temporarily shapeshift to human in order to more easily travel with them as they do their ghost/cryptid hunting anyways.

so the next phase of the maybe story is the human duo and their monster trying to figure out how to f r e e h i m. like even more so than they already did heh.

and once they do that - uh shenanigans happen i guess. cuz you can’t have a g/t story without big(s) and small(s) engaging in shenanigans. that’s like g/t law or something.

and that’s it. that’s the maybe story i will likely never write.

anywho. if anybody wants to use this as a plot go ahead. i don’t care/mind. it’s not all that original anyways lol. it’s just a bunch of tropes thrown together to make soup (read: a plot) basically. i think. i dunno.

i mean let’s be real. i can’t even say:

people using the same plot in a g/t story? more likely than you think.

because we all effing know the same plots are used in g/t stories over and over again. ain’t no one able to pretend that isn’t common lol.

but that’s okay. because everyone has their own style of writing. and a lot of us are desperate for more g/t content anyway so we ain’t gonna complain regardless.

not sure if these last few sentences could be considered a call out or sh**post or something but i don’t really care. it is what it is.

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slut-4-beetlejuice · 5 years

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The Demon and the Board (beetlejuice fanfiction

Otherwise known as "Beeja-Board 2 electric boogaloo" also known as "I actually put a lot of effort into this, but I'm going to pretend like I didnt and make jokes about it to protect my pride lol"

Couple of PSAs: 1. So, this is kind of a sequel to my beetlejuice ouija board headcannons, check that out to see how we got here, and 2. So, I'm not all that experienced in writing BJ, so constructive criticism is always welcome! Hopefully I'll figure him out as we go along.

Ok, here we go!

"So babes, you wanna know what a bio exorcist is?" The green haired demon asked through a smirk. You stared at him blankly, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. One moment you were playing with an ouija board, then shit got wild and now theres a demon standing in your bedroom. And to make matters worse, his suit was giving you a headache. "Wh...what the hell?!" You asked, confused. "Who are you, wha-..." you started putting the pieces together. "You're beetlejuice, arent you?" "Sh sh shhh!!" The specter scolded you. "Careful with the b word babes. And yea, thats me," he flashed you a wicked grin "the ghost with the most."

You laughed a bit. Well, more forcefully breathed out. "Holy shit I summoned a demon." "Yes, yes you did!" He laughed, "now, do you wanna know what a bio exorcist is or not?" You rolled your eyes at the admittedly cute man in front of you. "Sure," you shrug, "what is a bio exorcist?" Beetlejuice grinned and whipped out a white board. "Ok, so, when you die in your house, you have to stay there for a certain amount of time" he said, drawing a house with little dead stick figures in it. "But, as you a breather know, when people are no longer alive, and therefore can no longer pay rent, new, living people are brought in to pay for the house!" He explained, erasing the dead stick figures and putting in living ones. "Now, normally, this ain't a problem. If you dont like the new roommates, scare em out" he started drawing ghosts. "But what if you're bad at scaring? See, that's where I come in."

Beetlejuice threw the whiteboard behind his back and smiled, standing straighter and straightening out his suit. He stuck his hand out for you to shake. You did. He was...cold yes, but somehow warmer than you expected. "Hi!" He grinned, "I'm B-E-E-T-L-E-J-U-I-C-E, The bio exorcist! I come in and scare out all the breathers so you can breath easy, and ya know, rest in peace and all that jazz!"

You laughed. You found it odd that he spelled out his name despite no longer being in the ouija board, but still found his whole display very entertaining. And oh man, he looked pleased as punch to get a laugh out of you. He had to admit, he found this breather to be better looking than most. They seemed so sweet too...

"So what's your name beautiful" he grinned, showing off his slightly yellow teeth. "Y/N" you said, grinning back. "And, I appreciated the lesson in bio exorcism. Is that a common profession for the afterlife?" Beetlejuice shook his head. "Nope! I'm the one and only! Pretty damn good at it too, if I do say so myself." He seemed so cocky and sure of himself. What you wouldn't give for that kind of confidence...

"So, wait," you asked, "if you're a bio exorcist, what we're you doing in an ouija board?" Suddenly, the spectors demeanor changed. It looked almost like his vibrate green hair started to turn blue at the ends and he scratched the back of his head, looking down. "Well, eh... being dead is kind of lonely. I dont talk to anyone really. Well, I mean, there's my best friend, but shes got like, school and stuff, and friends that are still alive like here and we dont talk as much as we used to. Theres this dead couple that live- well...exist in the house too, but I'm pretty sure I'm just annoying to them. I'm annoying to everyone. I though ouija board duty would be a good way to make new friends." Something he said bothered you. "You dont annoy me" you assured the demon. "Yet" he mumbled back. You smiled softly at him.

"I dont think you can annoy me. I dont believe it." "Oh you should." He said bluntly, "I'm a demon for a reason." You shook you head, "nope, done believe it. You'll have to prove it." Beetlejuice looked up at you, a smile tugging at his lips as he caught on. "Oh yea? Is that a challenge?" He purred, the green returning to his hair. Did...did it change color with his moods?

"Yes sir, yes it is!" You said smugly. "I bet I could summon you every day and still not get annoyed." "Oh you're on!" Beetlejuice laughed, loving a good challenge. Then, he felt it. The farmilar tug in the back if his head of a summons. Lydia. Shit, how long had he been gone? She must be worried about him.

"Uh, hey babes, I gotta go. Urgent bio exorcist business." He said, dispite not wanting to leave. "But, I'm holding you to this challenge! If you dont summon me tomorrow, I'm gonna say I won. You know how to summon me, no excuses!!" You laughed and smiled reassuringly. "Dont worry, I'll summon you." You promised. Beetlejuice smiled as he started to become smokey and vanish. "You better" was the last thing you heard him say.

Definitely not what you expected when you decided to play with an ouija board. Though, you're definitely not upset at the outcome either.

(A/N: so like, I did my best. It's not great but, I also dont hate it. As always constructive criticism is welcome and if you want this to be a series just let me know!! I had a lot of fun writing it!

Edit: someone said they liked it better when I color coded it, and then I realized I forgot to color code it before posting last night!!! So here it is, now coded with colors lol)

#beetlejuice x reader #beetlejuice musical #beetlejuice #beetlejuice fanfiction #@actual-cat-human #ouija beetlejuice #ouija board #ouijajuice #color coded

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thefreshfinds · 5 years

Text

Napy Haird Villan:

Napy Haird Villan will stop at nothing to get what’s rightfully his.

Superlatively sly with his next motive, this artist is far from a Dr. Doofenshmirtz. In fact Napy Haird Villan has no remorse for those who’ve done him dirty. All he has to do is let loose his "set-it-off" attitude & the rest remains a mystery. An example can be seen in his song, “Hurt My Soul” where he says, “I cannot pretend I know these n-ggas, not my friends/See me spending bread, they wonder if I cut a check/See they want me dead, puttin’ prices on my head/I cannot pretend I got my n-ggas till the end/I ain’t tryna jell but n-ggas day I’m the hottest next to hell/....../I ain’t tryna cause friction, so please don’t you run & tell/Run your mouth, you gon’ need a f-ckin dentist to repair.” Regardless, Napy Haird Villan is just worried about his Benjamins. At most, the 973-er needs 100,000 licks till it clears. From “Wishlist” he says, “Said I don’t wanna chill today, need me a lick today. Need to get rich today, I might need to kill today.”

Besides this, Napy Haird Villan gets every walk of life seemingly tranced with his pleasant auto-tune. Sure, the beat takes an twist with its semi-distorted pattern but it gets the point across. However, Napy Haird Villan takes this approach not only because he’d like to strike fear in the hearts of those who hate. But also as a way to speak with his inner conscience. From his malicious wordplay to unbothered rap delivery — it’s hard to deny his doom. Napy Haird Villan will whip you upside your lip with his pick comb & make you regret talking bad on his name. Point. Blank. Period.

Like a Sour Patch, Napy Haird Villan might be sour, but then he’s sweet. “I’m a fun, loving, charismatic gangsta with a charming smile. No cap.” Villan adds. By far, he is of the most interesting artist that you’ve never heard of. A Southward baby, Villan comes from Newark, NJ. Yet he claims Hillside as his real home. Not only because that’s where his music comes from, but also because there’s “a few real n-ggas out there.”

To ask Napy Haird Villan how he started music is like asking him how he took his first breath. Ultimately, Villan says that he did in order to survive but music has been in his life for as long as he can remember. “I really knew it was my calling when I saw my life twist & tumble but my love for music never withered. It just kept growing.” Villan says.

Ironically, music & a blunt take place of his alarm clock. He’s built a studio in his house so sometimes Villan will wake up to his homies already in the lab, just working! Likewise he’d collab with PrinceHil when the opportunity presents itself. “I lowkey would’ve never thought to start engineering if it wasn’t for him. I watched Prince get everything he deserved plus more & I just wanted the same.” says Villan “I wanted to put that work in & show the people I been working too. It’s always love when we link but I’m still waiting to get in the lab with you bro. Let’s cook up before 2020!” As for New Jersey supporting New Jersey? Villan believes it’s ran by a buddy-buddy system. “I just don’t think black people support black people enough to get us where we need to be.” Villan says “We support the rich but ignore our friends when it comes to buying merchandise, a ticket or just something as little as showing up. People only show love to people they know & that’s the world we live in. Still, there are a few real ones out there. The real ones always recognize greatness & I try to do the same. This sh-t could be all love but people will rather hate on your success.”

Through his music Napy Haird Villan gives himself a word of advice. “I find it easier to try to keep it as real as I can to myself so if any other person was to relate, it’ll be a vibe. There’d be a connection & that way I’d be able to build a core fan base with people that still wanna feel something when they listen to music.” Alongside, his strength in music is everything. Napy Haird Villan defines himself as an all-around artist who tries to bring an refreshing sound. “I have fun making everything I make. We have a saying here in my crew, “If it ain’t a hit, we don’t want it.” So with that being said, we strive for the best melody, fire flows & we’re constantly on each other’s backs about coming with the next wave, a new genre, new content. Something for people to listen to.” Villan adds.

Napy Haird Villan’s influences include Pac, Biggie, Nas, Jay-Z, & Big-L — but most importantly, his mother. “My moms by far has been the biggest inspiration behind my wanting this. I want to get my mama out the hood & make her never have to work anymore. I think that’ll be the best way for me to pay her back especially for all the B.S I put her through.”

In the future expect many more bangers from Napy Haird Villan because he’s that n-gga with the hundreds. “Making music is about 95% of everything I do. I’m trying to make it less so I can get myself engaged in on the other side of the industry. I got plans to keep being my own songwriter, engineer, producer and manager until this hard work pays off. Until then, I’m going to need the people to f-ck with me one time while me & my gang run it up this summer. I got a lot of work dropping so I need everyone to stay tuned. VG taking over 2020.”

By: Natalee Gilbert

P.S: Thank you for that shoutout :-)

LINK(S):

1. Spotify: Search “Napy Haird Villan”

2. SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/villan-gang

3. Instagram: @napy_vg

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azariahluna · 6 years

Text

Stardust Crusaders: Around The World Chapter 5: Dark Blue Moon!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15860409/chapters/38002982#workskin

It was a bright sunny day and the Crusaders have just left Hong Kong.

“To get from Hong Kong to Singapore, we’ll be in the ocean for a good three days. We should take this time to relax and keep our spirits up.” Joseph informed.

"But...” He looked over at the two students who were relaxing on the lounge chairs.

Noriko was casually reading a book and Jotaro had both hands behind his head with a leg over the other.

“Can't you both do something about those damn uniforms? You’re not planning on wearing them the entire journey now, are you? Aren’t you both hot?”

Noriko glanced up at Joseph. “Well, we are students, Mr. Joestar.” She replied with a smile. “And good students should behave as students. Though we might be pushing it a bit...” She resumed back in her reading.

“Hmph.” Jotaro grunted under his breath.

Joseph crossed his arms, “Why are Japanese students so stiff?!”

“I see.... this is like Bushido.” Avdol remarked as he and Polnareff were by the railings.

“Girls won’t fall for stiffs like you Jotaro,” Polnareff began as he stepped away from the railing. He looked over at Noriko. “Am I right, Noriko? I’m sure a girl like yourself wouldn’t fall for someone who’s stiff.”

Noriko averted her eyes at Polnareff, closing her book. “Well, I really can’t answer that since I’ve never fallen in love nor liked anyone before.”

Polnareff’s jaw dropped. “Are you serious?! A beauty like yourself has never had a boyfriend?! Not even your first kiss?!”

“Well…” Noriko shyly looked away, “...no I haven’t.” She muttered quietly but the Frenchman heard her very clear.

The thought of being in a relationship sometimes crossed her mind. She often wondered how will her significant other understand and relate to her about Stands. Will she have to hide it from him? Will he ever believe it? Would he think she’s crazy?

She always felt different from everyone especially with the girls in her old school. She would hear the girls gossip to one another about their boyfriends/crushes, making plans after school or during the weekend. She didn’t like to admit it but she was actually pretty jealous.

At school, she was known as a loner and an honor student. Nobody hated nor made fun of her. It was something Noriko chose because nobody would understand her.

Polnareff walked over to her and got on one knee grabbing her soft hand.

“Look,” He began.

The red-headed girl averted her eyes at him.

“You don’t have to be upset because you haven’t been in a relationship. Maybe you haven’t found the one nor realized he’s standing right here before you.” He teased with a wink.

Noriko chuckled, “You’re such a Casanova, but nice try, Polnareff.” She took her hand away.

“Hey! Let go of me you bastard!” A young voice shouted.

The Crusaders averted their gaze at a sailor who was dragging a child out on deck.

“Shut the hell up you brat!” The sailor scolded the young child.

The child looked like a boy. He wore overalls overalls with a pink long-sleeve shirt.

“I said let go of me damn it!” The child said as he kept struggling to get out of the sailor’s grasp.

“Hey!” Joseph called the sailor out.

“Who the hell is that?! I thought we’d agreed there would be no other passengers on board besides us!”

“I apologize, Mr. Joestar, but this little brat right here is a stowaway.” The sailor explained.

“A stowaway?” Joseph raised a brow.

“This brat was hiding in the lower storage area.” The sailor said.

“C’mon and fight me! I’ll break your damn balls!” The child threatened.

The crew member scoffed as he picked up the child by the collar, “Hmph! And maybe I’ll turn you into the Naval Police!”

The child stopped and widened his eyes in fear, “W-What?! The police?!” He got back on his feet and turned around to face the man.

“P-Please no!” The little boy pleaded. “Please don’t turn me into the police! I’m sorry! I just wanted to see my father in Singapore, that’s all! I’ll even work for my ticket, I promise!”

The sailor roughly grabbed the boy’s cheeks, pinching them hard. “Hmmm, what shall I do? Let you go or turn you in?” He began pinching them harder.

“Hmmm, what to do, what to do...” He said sarcastically.

He let the child go and flicked the boy’s nose. “I ain’t gonna let you go! Not a damn chance!”

The little boy’s eyes began to water from the rejection.

“First, I’m going to let the Captain know, so come with me-”

He was cut off when the child lunged himself on to him and bit his arm.

“GRRAAAAH!!!” The sailor shrieked.

The little boy then jumped over the railing, into the ocean.

“Woah! That little guy is quite energetic! Did you see that jump?!” Polnareff remarked as he and several men walk over to the railing.

“Will that little boy make it to shore from out here?” Noriko queried in concern as she stood up from her chair to take a look as well.

“Pft. Just leave em'.” Jotaro replied nonchalantly. “The kid must be a confident swimmer to brazenly dive in like that.”

Noriko glanced back at Jotaro with a scowl look. “How can he casually say that and not care?! It’s a little kid and we’re out in the middle of nowhere!”

She looked back at the child.

“T-This isn’t good! He’ll never make it because these areas are notorious shark-infested waters!” The sailor told everyone in a panic.

Everyone except Jotaro gasped as they saw the dark shadow figure of a shark below the child.

“Come back here little boy!” Noriko shouted as she gripped the railing. “Even if I use my Stand, he’s too far from Hierophant’s range.”

“Hey! You little brat turn around!” Joseph told the kid.

“There’s sharks out here!” Polnareff added as a warning.

The shark’s fin surfaced and was getting closer and closer to the little boy.

The child turns around and widened his eyes in fear.

“AAAAAGGHHHH!!”

“NO!” Noriko cried out and suddenly the shark was thrown up in the sky.

“ORA! ORA! ORRRAAAA!!!!” Star Platinum pulverized the shark with his punches as the child only watched in shock.

Noriko sighed in relief. “So he does care...” She thought with a smile.

He was speechless from what he just witnessed. Jotaro approached him and grabbed him by his shirt.

“Gimme a break, you damn brat, you could’ve gotten yourself killed.” He said and turned around but glanced back at the child in confusion.

“Hm?” He pressed his hand against the child’s chest.

The little kid’s face began to reddened as he gasped.

“You’re…” Jotaro smacked the hat off the child’s head, revealing it’s true identity.

“A girl?”

The little girl’s shock face turned to a deadly glare, covering her chest.

“And nothing but a runt one at that.” He remarked.

The girl growled under her breath. “H-How dare you feel me up like that?! You bastard!” She swung her arm at the delinquent only for him to block it with his arm.

Jotaro pulled the brim of his hat down, “Good grief...” He muttered.

The little girl held onto Jotaro’s arm as he began to swim back to the boat.

The shark that was beaten to death was pulled underwater. It resurfaced again but cut in half as its blood spread all over.

Jotaro glanced back as he notices this and so does Joseph.

Joseph could see the dark shadow of an unknown creature with four bright eyes.

“J-Jotaro!” He gasped. “Look out! There’s something in the water! It’s not a shark this time and it’s going fast!” He panicked.

Jotaro held the girl tighter as he began to pick up the pace to reach the life-saver in front of him.

“Hurry Jotaro!” Joseph shouted. “Quickly get to the boat!”

“He’s too far, Mr. Joestar!” Avdol stated.

Noriko narrowed her eyes as she held out her arm. “At this distance is no problem for me! Hierophant Green!” Summoning her Stand beside her, her Hierophant reached over to Jotaro and grabbed his arm, pulling him and the little girl out of the water on time.

The life-saver that Jotaro was about to reach got torn into pieces from the unknown sea creature.

Polnareff walked over to the railing, glancing at the ruined life-saver.

“I-It’s gone!” He stammered. “It had to be a Stand! There’s no way a damn fish or shark can go that fast!”

Avdol furrowed his brows, “An aquatic Stand?” He pondered. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard such a thing...”

The little girl panted heavily as she was trying to catch her breath. The Crusaders remained distance of her as they starred at her with suspicions. With their Stands, they began to communicate with one another.

“This girl....Sh-She couldn’t be...”

“Could she possibly be the Stand user? Maybe this was all a bait!”

“Are you implying that she was trying to bait Jojo in the shark-infested waters?”

“Yes! She probably pretended to be in danger to lure Jotaro in the water! That’s why that little damn brat refused to listen to us!"

“You don’t have to jump into conclusions, Polnareff .”

The stowaway turned her gaze at the group and frowned as she stood up.

“What the hell are you bastards looking at, huh?! Look” She began searching something in her pocket as she resumed, “I have no idea what’s going on but I’ll fight all of you in a one-on-one fight!” She pulled a switchblade from her pocket.

“Don’t underestimate me just because I’m a child! So come on you cowards!”

Polnareff and Avdol cringed from her threat.

“Is she fucking serious?! Maybe we should throw her back in the ocean...”

Noriko glared at Polnareff, “You don’t have be so rash and an asshole, Polnareff! If she’s an actual stowaway, the sharks will devour her!”

“I had already checked the ten crew members and they’re all clear. I honestly have no clue who else could it be besides her. There has to be a way for us to find out.”

“Hmm...How’s that man Dio doing?” Avdol asked.

“Dio?” The girl raised a brow. “What the hell is a Dio?!”

“Is that some kind of motorcycle?” The girl thought.

“Don’t play dumb you little brat!” Polnareff yelled at her.

“Do you want to talk or get stabbed you bastard?! Which is it?! My demon blade here wants to slurp the blood of its 340th victim!”

Noriko chuckled from the girl’s threat.

The little girl frowned. “What the hell is so funny you stupid grunt?!”

“Grunt? You know, I think she’s innocent. I don’t think she’s a Stand user at all.” Noriko glanced at everyone as she crossed her arms.

Joseph placed a hand under his chin. “Hmm, then who else could it-”

“So this girl is our stowaway?”

A man said as he walked out on the deck.

The little girl gasped and screamed when the man placed both hands on her shoulder as he stood over here.

Everyone turned their gaze at the man.

“Captain Tennille...” Joseph said.

Jotaro pulled out a cigarette, placed it between his lips and lit it up.

Captain Tennille twisted the girl’s arm to drop her weapon. The girl squirmed, trying to get away and screamed in pain.

“You will find that I’m pretty strict with stowaways. Even though you’re just a little girl, I can’t go easy on you, it’ll encourage more stowaways and I can’t be having that.” Captain Tennille told the girl.

“I’m locking you up in the brig till we reach port.” He said as he tightened his grip on her.

The girl wailed from the pain.

“Captain,” Joseph began. “I would like to ask you a question.”

The Captained looked over at the elder Joestar.

“Are you sure you checked the papers of your entire crew and verified their identities?”

“I guarantee you there’s no mistake. They’re all the same men that I’ve worked with for over ten years.” Captain Tennille responded. “I can’t say I understand why that is of paramount importance, by the way...” He walked over to Jotaro as one his sailors held on to the girl.

He took the cigarette out of Jotaro’s mouth.

“I would suggest to refrain from smoking on this ship,” Captain Tennille told the delinquent. “What did you plan to do with the ashes and butts once you finished? Were you going to toss them into these pristine waters? Let me remind you that you’re a guest on this ship so you must follow her rules...”

He crushed the cigarette on Jotaro’s hat. Jotaro only starred at him with a calm expression but his eyes looked as if he were filled with anger. Captain Tennille placed the crushed cigarette in Jotaro’s pocket.

“Now cut it out.” He sternly said.

Jotaro holstered both hands in his pockets as the Captain turned around.

Everyone glanced at Jotaro, they expected him to do something but he remained silent for a moment.

“Hold it.” Jotaro called the Captain out.

Captain Tennille turned around to look back at the delinquent.

“You could’ve just put it out and be done with it. Quit acting like you’re such a big shot you bastard.” Jotaro insulted.

Everyone gasped in shock, including the Captain.

“Hey, Jotaro! You don’t have to disrespect the Captain! This was your fault!” Joseph scolded at his grandson.

“Hmph.” Jotaro placed a hand on his hip. “I'm not done being rude quite yet. I’ve already figured it out, this bastard is the Stand user!”

“ WHAAAT?! ”

Everyone except the Captain said in shock.

Captain Tennille starred at Jotaro with a questioned look. “St-Stand? What is this you say I am?” He asked as he was confused on what Jotaro was talking about.

“That’s inconceivable, Jotaro!” Avdol told the young Joestar. “Captain Tennille was introduced to us by the Speedwagon Foundation! His background has been checked! This is someone we should trust one-hundred percent! There’s no chance he’s the Stand user!”

“Hmph.” Jotaro muttered under his breath.

“Hold on, here. I have no clue on what you’re all talking about! What is a Stand?” The Captain queried.

“Jojo, making random guesses will just complicate things even more!” Polnareff said.

“Do you even have any proof from your accusation, Jojo?” Noriko asked.

“I found a way to tell if someone is a Stand user or not.” Jotaro stated as he pointed at his nose. “When a Stand user inhales even a tiny bit of smoke from a cigarette, a vein pops up at the tip of their nose.”

“HUH?!”

Everyone except the child touched their nose.

The little girl raised a brow, confused on what’s happening. “What are they all doing?” She thought.

“You can’t be serious, Jotaro! You’re lying, aren’t you?!” Polnareff asked.

“Yeah I’m lying. However,...” Jotaro confessed and turned at the Captain. “It looks like we found our dumbass.”

The fake Captain slowly removed his hat, changing his expression to a creepier sinister look.

“Jotaro, why did you suspect the captain?” Joseph asked his grandson.

“I didn’t.” Jotaro replied. “I had no suspicion of him at all. But I was going to use this trick on all the sailors on board.”

“You’re cold.” The fake Captain remarked. “God damn you’re fucking cold. It’s true though, I’m not really the Captain. The real Captain is at the bottom of the ocean back in Hong Kong, sleeping with the fishes.”

“Then I’ll make you sleep in the depths of Hell!” Jotaro threatened while pointing at the enemy.

The Captain grinned with a chuckle and suddenly the stowaway child was grabbed from her ankle by the enemy’s Stand.

“ AAAAAAHH !!”

“DAMN IT NO!”

“I-I can’t move!” The girl struggled to get away from the aquatic Stand.

Water, trouble, lies and betrayal! The Moon card represents the fear of the unknown! Its name, Dark Blue Moon !

Captain Tennille crossed his arms, “I kept my identity a secret to take care of all you one by one, even for a guy like me it would be a bone-breaking task to take out everyone at the same time.”

“I have no choice now, do I? So five against one it shall be!”

“This little girl right here shows that my luck is on my side...” He continued. “The shark-infested-waters will take us and you’ll be forced to follow us in! I can handle a five-on-one in my home turf!” He chuckled.

“Don’t underestimate me just because you took a hostage.” Jotaro retorted. “Do you think I, Kujo Jotaro will be shaken up by this?”

“Underestimate you? Ha! No my dear boy, I just foretold your doom!” Captain Tennille declared.

“I was told your Star Platinum is pretty damn fast. Not trying to brag nor anything but my Dark Blue Moon is king underwater. It swims more elegantly and swifter than any fish at sea!”

“Heh, heh, heh...” He jumped on top of the railings.

“Now, how about we put that to the test, eh?”

“Follow me...” He then jumped back, taking the girl with him. “...if you’re prepared to choke to death on all the seawater you’re about to swallow!”

“ AAAAAAAHHHHH !”

Jotaro stood there behind the railing. His Star Platinum summons and quickly punched the impostor with a blow in the face.

“ORA! ORA! ORA! ORA! ORA! ORRRAAA !!!”

The blow had caused the Captain’s Stand to release the girl and plunged into the water covered in blood by his wounds.

Star Platinum grabbed the girl’s arm as the Captain steadily lifted his head up, groaning in pain.

“H-He...He got me before we could fall in the water...Ngh...That’s impossible!”

“Looks like you’re the one who’ll be partaking the seawater today.” Jotaro remarked. “Tell em’ Avdol.”

“You’re out of your league making predictions when I’m here.”

“You said it, Avdol!” Polnareff added with a cheesy grin.

“And there he goes, drifting away.” Polnareff stated as they watched the Captain’s body getting farther and farther away.

“So Dark Blue Moon, huh? Just a couple moments ago he bragged about his Stand’s powers.” He then scoffed. “What a pathetic idiot.”

Jotaro was pulled against the railing, he felt as if something heavy was pulling him down. He knitted his brows.

“What’s the matter, Jotaro? Hurry up and pull the girl up!” Joseph said with his arms crossed.

Jotaro responds with a grunt as he gritted his teeth. Noriko walked over to the delinquent and noticed he was sweating and his fingers twitched.

“Jojo, what’s wrong? Does your hand or arm hurt or what?” She asked.

“Fuck....I’m being pulled in!” Jotaro muttered out.

Noriko glanced at his arm again and noticed it was being covered in barnacles.

Blood spurted out his arms and hands.

“A-Are those...?” Polnareff stammered as he gasped.

“Acorn barnacles!” Noriko stated. “Those are acorn barnacles!”

“And look! They keep multiplying and going up to Star Platinum’s arms and on the side of the boat!” Joseph pointed out.

Noriko grabbed Jotaro’s arm, Joseph gets behind his grandson and Avdol grabbed the other arm. They all attempt to pull Jotaro back, preventing him from falling over.

“That bastard still wants to fight! He attached the barnacles the moment I hit him!” Jotaro realized. “Not only are they just multiplying, but they’re draining my Stand’s power!”

Polnareff looked around the sea water and gasped. “T-The Captain! H-He’s gone! He’s nowhere to be seen!”

“Jotaro!” Joseph shouted. “You need to recall your Stand right now!”

“If I was able to do that, I wouldn’t be sweating in the first place!” Jotaro exclaimed as he went over the railing.

“JOTARO!”

“JOJO!” Noriko cried out as she summoned her Stand to catch Jotaro.

Star Platinum swung his arm up, throwing the little girl up.

Noriko captured the girl but Jotaro fell into the water.

“Shit!” Joseph remarked.

Placing the girl down back on deck, Noriko ran over to the railings.

“Crap!” She banged the railings as she looked around the water. “This is bad!”

Jotaro descended deeper and deeper into the water. He gazed up and saw the impostor with his Stand out.

The brunette narrowed his eyes and tried to attack him but was pushed against the ocean floor.

He grunted once hitting the hard surface.

“Why welcome!” The Captain greeted with a chuckle.

“So glad you could join me where Dark Blue Moon rules...heh, heh, heh...”

He began licking the blood off his hand, “It’s a bad idea to underestimate me, brother.” He continued. “In case you didn’t know, we can still communicate through our Stands underwater. So go ahead and give me that cocky-ass attitude of yours.”

“So what can I do for you?” Jotaro asked casually.

The impostor raised a brow, “Eh?”

“What kind of seafood would you like to be? Fish paste or perhaps Sashimi? Your Stand would be one hell of a meal.” Jotaro said calmly.

“You’re such a fool...I can sense that you’re struggling to sound tough but I know damn well what you’re thinking about!” Captain Tennille said.

“You’re thinking, How long can he stay underwater? I can probably last about two minutes but will he last longer than I can? heh, heh, heh...” He floated higher, getting closer to the boat.

“I’ll answer that for you! My lungs are three times greater than any human being!” He stated and crossed his arms. “I’ve trained them well enough that I can last up to six minutes and twelve seconds underwater!”

Jotaro raised his brows from hearing that.

“I bet hearing those numbers already has you gasping for breath. And that’s not all!” Dark Blue Moon reached over to the boat and damaged the propellers with his arm.

“My Stand’s fins can slice through the water with sharp screw-like rotations!” The Captain then pointed at the delinquent. “Why don’t you take a good look at your Stand before you mouth off again?”

The acorn barnacles covered over half of Star Platinum’s body. Jotaro widened his eyes in shock and glared at the enemy.

“My Dark Blue Moon’s acorn barnacles has really taken a liking to your Stand. The more it multiplies the more energy it will suck out of you every moment that passes!” The Captain chuckled.

Jotaro looked up and began swimming to the surface.

Captain Tennille let out a mischievous grin, “Trying to escape to the surface, eh?! Take a look around you, dumbass!” Dark Blue Moon’s swirled rapidly in a circular motion.

“You didn’t notice that my Dark Blue Moon was creating a whirlpool this entire time?!”

“Come on you bastard! Swim! Swiiiiim! It’ll just keep getting harder and harder for you since your power is being drained and you’re holding your breath at the same time! It’s still too early for me to kill but a smart-ass brat like you needs to suffer more than this! HEHEHEHAHAHA!”

“It’s been too long and he still hasn’t come out!” Joseph said in a panic.

Noriko looked at the water and widened her eyes. “Mr. Joestar look!” She pointed at the whirlpool.

“A-A whirlpool?!” Avdol exclaimed.

“It’s a giant whirlpool!” Noriko stated.

“But where the hell is Jojo?!” Polnareff worriedly asked.

“We can’t just sit back and watch this happening! We need to jump in there and save him!” Noriko declared. “Let’s get him out!”

All four of the Crusaders called out their Stand’s and headed straight into the whirlpool.

Hierophant Green’s hand touched the water and immediately received multiple cuts.

Noriko winced and groaned from the pain as blood gushed out of her hand.

“N-Noriko!” Polnareff exclaimed.

“Noriko! Are you all right?!” Joseph queried as he walked over to her.

The red-headed girl glanced at her Stand’s hand and back at hers with a frown.

“T-That bastard!” She cursed angrily. “His Stand’s scales are sharp as razor blades! It’s most likely that in that whirlpool there’s thousands of them!”

“Damn it!” The Fortune-Teller banged his fists against the railings. “He wasn't kidding when he said could take on all five of us!”

“It's like a watery antlion pit in that whirlpool! The moment we’ll try to jump in there we’ll get killed!”

“But Jojo will get killed if we don’t save him! He needs our help!” Noriko protested.

“I’m sorry Noriko but it’s too reckless for us to do anything.” Avdol told the girl. “You're lucky your hand wasn’t torn apart by the sharp scales.”

“But-!”

“Look! There he is! It’s Jojo! I see him!” Polnareff pointed at the young Joestar, who could barely be seen from the surface. “But this is bad! It seems like he’s limping!”

Joseph placed a hand under his chin, “Limping? Hmm...That means he wasn’t flailing around at all...? That could actually be good news...”

Everyone averted their eyes at Joseph, wondering what the hell he meant.

Jotaro screamed as he was going in a circle in the whirlpool. He was getting cuts here and there from the Stand’s scales.

“Now I’m going to take a guess on what you’re thinking...” Captain Tennille began. “There’s a place in a whirlpool that doesn’t move and that’s the center. If I head straight to the center where he is, I’ll be able to attack him! Hehehe, man o’ man I can read you like a damn book!”

“Go ahead and try to land a punch with your landlubber Stand! Come on! Come at me while your power is still being drained by my barnacles! Let’s see if you can manage an attack that can rival my underwater cutters, brother!”

Captain Tennille narrowed his eyes, “Who the hell think you are?! Telling me that I’ll be turning me into a damn sashimi! The one will be turned into a sashimi...” Dark Blue Moon charged at Jotaro. “IS Y-WHA-!?”

“ STAR FINGER! ”

A pair of fingers broke through the barnacles and struck Dark Blue Moon in the face. He swiftly moved his fingers up, cutting upwards on the Stand’s face.

“Turns out you were going to be turned into sashimi after all.” Jotaro remarked as he holstered both hands in his pockets.

The impostor glugged with bubbles coming out of his mouth.

“What was that?! I can’t damn hear you well underwater so speak up!”

“W-When the barnacles were sapping your strength, you stopped squirming and focused your power into your fingers...that’s what you were thinking...” Captain Tennille muttered out in pain.

Jotaro pulled the brim of his hat down, “Wrong again...”

“The only thing on my mind was how fucking gross it would be when I kicked your sorry ass and you pissed yourself since we’re under water, you old bastard.”

The enemy passes out as he falls deeper into the ocean.

Jotaro finally surfaced from the water as he gasped for breath.

“Jojo!” Noriko beamed happily as she finally saw the delinquent.

“That’s my grandson!” Joseph cheered with a fist pump.

“Thank goodness you made it out alive!” Noriko remarked.

Jotaro began swimming back to the boat.

“Great job, Jotaro! Now take this and come on up-hm?” Joseph was cut off as the boat trembled.

“What was that?” Polnareff wondered.

Suddenly every part of the ship began to explode.

“So that bastard left bombs on the ship!” Polnareff said.

“We need to hurry and get the emergency boats out!” Avdol ordered.

“We’ll send a distress call and fast!” Joseph added at the end.

A full day passes and both the sailors and Crusaders are stranded in their emergency boats.

Everyone was still peacefully sleeping except for Joseph and the stowaway child.

“Here little girl, have some water.” Joseph said as he handed the girl the canteen.

“We’ve already sent out a distress call so someone should be here very soon.”

The girl hesitantly grabbed the canteen and looked over the group. Her eyes mainly focused on Jotaro and noticed someone’s head was against his shoulder.

It was Noriko. She was sleeping against his arm with her head dipped downwards.

The young girl looked back at the elder Joestar.

“Look, I don’t really understand what’s going on but who the hell are you guys?” The girl queried with a raised brow.

“Think of us as fellow travelers,” Joseph responded. “Just like you’re on your journey to see your father, for us is for my daughter.” He smirked.

“I see...” She glanced back at everyone.

“By the way, I never told you guys my name, it’s Anne...” She informed, looking back at Joseph.

“Anne. That’s a nice name.” Joseph commented. “Since you’re out to see your father, how come you didn’t go on a plane?”

Anne immediately turned away as she began drinking from the canteen.

Looking behind, her eyes shot wide open and spat the water out.

“Hey! Why would you that?! What kind of person spits it out?!” Joseph scolded.

“N-N-No!” Anne stammered as she was pointing something or someone coming towards them.

Everyone lifted their head up, waking up from their slumber from hearing Joseph’s outburst.

“L-L-L-Look! E-E-Everybody look over there!”

Everyone looked behind to see what Anne was talking about.

Their eyes widened as they see a giant ship heading their way.

To Be Continued....

#KakyoinNoriko #Jotaro Kujo #Polnareff #Avdol #mohammed avdol #Joseph Joestars #Iggy #JJBA #Fanfiction #AO3 #NorikoXJotaro

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ayacxo · 6 years

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The 2018 Relationship Age,Instagram,and more.

Firstly, thank you so much for reading this. I am used to journaling and this is my first time writing for public eyes, so enjoy!

Now to lets get straight to the point; the modern 2018 relationship. Do we believe its harder now than it was in the 1920's? Oh absolutely! I mean as a woman we’ve been exposed to propaganda our whole lives on the fairy tale where your fairy godmother blesses you with perfectly fitting, comfortable glass slippers(we all secretly prayed they would be the louboutins we all still dream about to this day) and we'd ride off into the sunset with prince charming and the end. Sorry ladies, never gonna happen! Why would we want it to be that way? We are the bad ass take no sh*t millennial's who swipe left if we think based on someones picture and 2 sentence bio we have a "connection". Sorry my tinder/grinder users, as basic as I just made it sound is truly how basic it is but this is a judgement free zone! But lets go down the list of the modern relationship of 2018.

YAS! Thank you fairy godmother!

Age

As Aaliyah said, "Age ain't nothing but a number!" If you're 23 like me that song has been in your life as long as you can remember(if you haven't heard it pause your reading and play it now). So maybe that was drilled into our minds through sultry R&B or its just simply the truth. I'm leaning more towards the simple truth. In my personal relationship my boyfriend and I are 7 years apart. As time has gone on, I have realized that everyone around me is dating with a 7-10+ year gap between them and no one's complaint is ever "He's just too old." I will say though there is always an occasion when I'm calling or getting a call that says, "...like he's my dad or something!" I always question this part of things like is this just how men try and show they wear the pants, or do these men just want us to not repeat their previous mistakes because they are older than us? I think its a sprinkle of both, and for us modern day relationship doers, my best advice on age gaps is 1.) trust your partners knowledge 2.) trust your life experiences as well to asses situations for yourself 3.) always stress the necessity for reciprocity in decision making, that way you both wear the pants. To conclude this I think that in 2018 it's better to date for what YOU like and want, rather than feel like because your close in age it won't be as successful or because there is an age gap he has all the answers. Don't be afraid to take charge trust me, you don't want to go to sleep dreaming of your man struggling to get into a pair of skinny jeans(no? just me? okay.) because your subconscious is telling you to make that decision.

Again, listen to the song if you haven't already!

Instagram

I planned to write this part last because it probably should be its own post, but I believe I can word it perfectly without over doing it so lets get into it people! Instagram is probably the most consistent social media platform I use currently, it has everything all on one app and I ask for nothing more. But I can admit it's created small issues in my relationship (truly small guys) and I mostly was the one with the issue. I grew up where dating meant you the put your anniversary date in your bio, posted every single picture you could with the sweetest caption from your favorite Drake song and you waited for all of your 900 followers to like it to show the world, you are in a relationship and a happy one. And then you date someone older than you and you realize, they don't give a f*ck about posting you let alone themselves on instagram.

"wait so you're saying you don't have instagram?"

And then we all are Jaden Smith, thoroughly confused as to how another human can exist with this mindset. And now this guy is your boyfriend and your 4 months in passing all the holidays without getting posted and you're like whatever its just Instagram I am a mature young woman, I am confident in myself. But as I recently discussed with one of my best friends is that what we really need to be saying to ourselves? Deep down everyone wants validation which is why Instagram is so important, just 10 likes and you know you're on to something, but what does it mean in the modern 2018 relationship, when you're not getting your recognition? Well here's how I can answer that by telling you my word for word head on experience:

Me: So why don't you post me on your Instagram? Are you just not that guy, or is it because we are still new?

Him: No, 1.) its MY Instagram so I post whatever moves me and 2.) I don't want to post you because it's no ones business

Me: Oh okay.

Me in my head: SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT I AM A SECRET?! IS IT BECAUSE ALL THE GIRLS IN YOUR DMS WILL THEN STOP SENDING DMS? AM I UGL...Wait no, that's never the case. *continues to rant*

So as you could imagine it took me about 3 days to wrap my millennial mind around this concept, and I came to the conclusion of "What more can I really ask for?" I am with him almost everyday, we talk all day, and when we don't we usually know each others plan for the day. Did Instagram really have to define what we're doing? No. And so ladies and gentleman (because don't get it twisted ladies men are usually way more offended you aren't showing them off than you'd think) here's my advice for this part of the modern 2018 relationship 1.) Post whatever the f*ck you want, whenever you want but don't do it for validation Instagram was meant to entertain the user 2.)Older men may or may not like to post you but if their friends and family know who you are then no Instagram post can give you anymore validation than that. 3.)Don't sit on your words,if something makes you uncomfortable say something because 9 times out of 10 what we think isn't what it is. All in all we young millennial gals take way better photos anyway, so its probably best we do the posting.

And finally the more..

So guys we are nearing the end of this post, and again thank you SOOOOOOO much for reading this far. But lets finish this strong; 2018. The year where you can barely tell pop culture and political news apart, is also the year of so much LOVE. And sometimes it's going to be love our parents can't understand, and that doesn't mean their advice isn't valid or your friends advice isn't valid. I just believe this is also a time to figure love out for ourselves. Figure out what we really do and don't like, who we do and don't like. What are the things that motivate us individually to want to spend time with someone? These are things that take time and self care to learn but it also takes WORK. Yes, relationships are work and not always the fairy tales we think they should be and that is okay. To conclude this I will give you my most modern 2018 fairy tale moment in my own relationship.

We actually laugh in bed like this over stand up jokes we try on one another before bed.

So if you know me you know Beyonce' is EVERYTHING I proudly stan for her and she put on the most epic amazing performance at Coachella this you (curse you but also bless you if you saw it live) and I was super bummed because I was working the day it was streaming completely missed the whole thing, so the next day I am sulking around watching everyone fan girl out and watching sad Instagram videos of the bits and pieces of this epic performance, my boyfriend who knows everything about anything on the internet is like, "Why are you watching it on Instagram I can just download it for you" I am still not trusting his computer smarts, "Like HD version not like someones phone like actual video?!" he's like, "Yeah." a few click clack patty whacks later he's like, " Here's the file when it's done it'll ding but if you want I am going to the roof when I come back I'll watch it with you." Now ladies this isn't the best story but understand not only did he get me Beyonce' but he wanted to watch it with me so now I am just reeling! Long story short, we watched Beyonce' cuddled up and thoroughly enjoyed it and that was my fairy tale. I want all of you reading this, skimming it, pretending to read to walk away with just this one thing; in 2018 no one but YOU can define what your relationship is and that is okay as long as it speaks to your character and serves YOU equally in happiness, and joy then do it, talk about what you do and don't like and remember that every fairy tale ends differently, and no fairy tale is the same.

Or maybe we do get to ride away into the sunset.

My Boyfriend pretended to hate this picture up until he saw my photog skills and proceeded to pose until we came out with this

#love #humans #people #life #millennials #relatable #relax #read #long reads #brooklyn #new york #instagram #blogger #blog #ask me anything #ask blog #tagged #beyonce #fairy tales #fairy

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bloojayoolie · 6 years

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Af, Anime, and Apparently: , Okay Ibl, story ame when I wss younger, had this Irish friend who pred our school when w as like 17, Dude ded recently nd here丐the ballad of the merveeus bsstard be average as fuck 17 year old Bribong Some foreign guy has just joined, his family just moved here city called Dery in Mgved here with his dad and his lite sister, his mum died when he was younger He gets put in my class and ends up stting nest to me This is howl met Eigh-Beers Mgee the all him Call him a hippo because of his fucking industrial size frant teeth and his big flucking lps Greg uses his adism to get out of doing and saying whatever the fuck he wants noing EB wth she lke Greg has his desk very paricularly arranged, pens on one side in a straight ine pencis on the other Dude is OCD as fuck with his pencilcase and shit Goes nuts i anything gets moved, so this desk is sightly apart from everyone elses We all get in shit twe fuck with him an purpose, We ought to know better The sutistic hippo keeps trying to get a reaction out of EB the whole class All af a sudden EB just casualy raises a foot and pushes the Hppo's desk right the fuck over Teacher hurries oer and trying to explan to EB atma Gregs autism while Greg teaks the tack G in his chair, breathing reawy ss thoug gh nong bd sheer辍tstie resentment EB looks at Greg and betsthe teacher "Oh sorry, wedant have Wid bump with more nenhinbeland' h on EB's third day at our school He's a pretty cool guyikes the 쑈me vidya and movies as me and is a big fan of Rugby, was captan of his team back iieland ell hem the school has s rughy searn he says EB goes to check it out, starts off on the lower team because hes think theyire ston of kind of fast runners gets recks fucking everyone that next hal f hel take him Jumps on him, grabs him by the neck to pull him down and iterally rolls on him ike a fucking rolling pn -EB didniteven have the bal What the fook you playin at son I didnt even have the ball, do you even know how to fookin play the game lad EB grins You know over in Ireland you have to be fit to play sports, the fatties get leit on the sideline EB grabs his amn and tosses him to the ground dude twists his anke or something and starts twitching and squeaking lke a baby elephant with parkinsons EB gets put on top team Anonymous (D wHTHOgC) 03 19/14(Wedj20 28 25 UTC-5 No 538041137 Reple 41T months without inc dont give long as youre cool to him dents aside from a few close cals with Greg the Mildly Autistic Hppo e pretty close Apparently ㅲ Ireland they don't have gangs they have paramitanes fighting between whether Northern lreland ts Britsh or hsh >He plays 4down a kal, bd ican tell some shit mu have Pagpened because he always changes the subject when gets clos·tohame Edgy fapgot Luke comes back to school Luke hangs around with a pack of riggers who are all apparenty in a gang, he les to pretend he's part of this "gang" and carries this fucking Stanky e around that he panted red and bue for some reason aOne day at lunch Like corries up to EBied o ofnotere starts askrig his datisalcoholc Nope aound Tm guessin your mam had a far lew belore you were born though mate Well tuck Ind wanna sift speI had to sht out a dat bastardlke yourset. Jog on ン"You win t)4ck with the wrong person t y inst, boy?" EB starts laughing, IHeraly loses his sht at the ste of this Itle fagpot in a trenchc oat with a stanley knfe and actualy presses EB grabs his wrist, takes the fabled blade from the hands of the chosen one tosses t over a fence and punches him straight in the face We're out geting beer, Tm with a 7/10 GT that Ive had a crush on for tucking months Her and EB get along realy wel, athough I sort of think she only hung out with us because EB did That right when we're all drunk, me and QT end up fucking Leaving out my side because this is the ballad of Eght Beer, not me Spend ages taking with QT,estabǐshthat shè apparenty seat, ikes me back EB heads up to bed, I stay down with the other guys to watch TV, QT was askeep when 1 came down QT comes running do wwith a towel round her, soaking wet, and rung out the ont door Apparently EB sleeps naked, not surpnised since Ive found him naked before after a night of drinking Says she came on to himeven ater all he shit she said aLaugh숨 and says he took aprt to bed with hm,awas cn e tablo and when she ed onwth him he lossed all over her Threw her clothes out the wendow into the rain and told her to go and fetch Two weeks later he takes me to a pub and hooks me up with a 910 Anonymous (TDwHT HOC) 03/1914(Wed 20.43 59 UTC-5 No 538044014 Raps.4380408044772 332420 EB and me are total bros after being fnends for a few years 가%aving hm as a best friend is Ike havngtose nasty trainers as a kid Shit get pretty he avy >Him and E汨were close, mostly because EB would buy him vidya and act super interested in the anime sht he lied because nobody else other than me would loses his har chermo aGotovst him, EBisgung me there >He thinks rs awesome get our photo taken together witout any har EB lets him draw all kinds of dumb sh on his bad head, lets him draw a dumb moustache on him o Spend ages just dicking a >Son of a bitch luke who R is, Dukey the Rookie is across the bar in the same tucking trenchcoat he wore back at school >EB says hi chats away to him lbe nothing ever happened >We head home and EB spend the night sitting up with me playing Batlefront on my old P52 and drinking, just trying to cheer me up me every time Sorry for that 2sad4me post, but iti make sense later Anonymous (IO woitth%) 05/19/14(Wed)20 52 46 UTC-5 No 530045357 Reeses 씌38amsrme esaaa Lving together in a let with some chick and her boyfriend The one song I remember is "Uncle Tommy by The Rumjacks, because it played when sht went down EB told them that he "ain't lookin any trouble lads, have a beer and forget that tripe for the night aye? 4 of them jump on him, start beating the shit out of him -l tackle one of them to try help him, get the fuck beaten out of me but fuck that it's goddamn E8 in there EB broke the dudes fucking am He gets up, bleeding out of every pore in his beaunful iwish body Bouncing around with his fists up, Ieraly looks ike he could fly around the room he's bouncing that much The skinheads keep going for him but back off every time aher he swings, it looks lke he could knock a building down with that sh Babbling some incoherent shit in lrish rage, nobody understands the words but everyone understands the meaning pack up there sht ike a scene from a fucking move Eight tucking beersl You splied eight of me fucking beers you hairless tuckin mongrels Eight beers lad, eight fucking beers What's the fucking craic there lke Anonymous (D: wHTiHOgC) 031914(Wed]21:6 02 UTC-5 No. 538047326 EB sgoing back to Ireland to vist his nan, she's real sick 기we lar dr, Befast-thritrs the captal of the oth but not of Ireland ckhow t wori ed EB never eaty expla edit, 5ad you wont understand the bullsh politics unless you grew up there go 1o vist his nan with EB' Sweetest tucking old lady ever, says that EB was always a rough lad but awk he'd never hurt a sour greedy fucker This woman is clearly the most infuenial famly member in the Eight Beer famly EE shows me round Derry, tels me about how 5pIt relgusy and shows methes bg ass wall cood place Takes me to Belast agan and shows methe pace wherethe ttanc was bu -we end up going to place caled The Crown Bar Ger pretty drunk, or Tpped as EB calls it Walked around Belfast for a bt, he tells me about the history of some stuf »Spend a few nights there, have a fucking blast but decide to head home don't wanna be an inrusion on the whole nan stustion Lad you're practicaly a part of the famly Anonymous D wH7HOQC) 03/19/14Wd21 18 48 UTC-5 No 538040230 Getting close to the end now Shits hard to wrte, I miss hat fucker Life is prety uneventful for a wle pparentty some Kiddy Fiddler called Wilm Whight fucked EB when totally agan family home a load of sht, fucks 2EB spends all nut there next to her, nearly gets wolent when staff ask harto leave so doctors can sort some 닸官out calm him down and we wat r, hosptzd for brig bme B's Sister gets beter, but is pretty fucked for life Never taks never leaves the house she's pretty much a goddarmn vegetable EB spends all of his time off work with her, never comes out anymore, just sts in with her. We sometimes come ound and drink with him but he refuses to leave the house -One night while he's sieeping, EB's fucked up sister C's faul, that's pretty much the main subject of t. I don't get why she'd need to say that but whabever Tels me he waan't that close with his family back home his dad is fucked up with grief and everythings just a mess ie doesn't want to go home because he has nothng there other than remnders, but doesn't want to stay here because of what has pened Does his best to be the usual bi9dck coolguy that he always was, puts on a brave face but f you c h him on his own he's luckn9 merable ite gets in 갠 few fights when we're ot dmkrg ry one who gnestmamy 5hvt gets m edistety fucking amidated none ofths ads everyone on" that he used to do s fighting back tears already guessed, but he starts teling me about how he blames himseffor what 거had pened to his sis have tucking known better >Lterally carrot change his mid anthis shit, looks like he has himse#1uly convinced th this is his taut we talk about old imes laugh a be things actualy seem back to normal for whie Ainight mabe. Let's have one for old tme's sake, ae? Hie eventualily leaves, but before he goes he tells me that 'You've been a good mate from day one mate. Honestly out on a limb rd do fuckin' anything for ya Take t easy lad speti ong tme EB doesn't reply to teats or Cutign place doeant answer B tucking hung himsel is fanly tatoo many things that I don't need thanked every tme fucker

#funny #lol #humor #memes #meme #memehumor #dank memes #funny pics #rolf #lmao #Af #Anime #and Appare

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alternativelarryaus · 6 years

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Alternative Larry AU (1)

Summary: After the One Direction reunion, Harry and Louis come out in the form of a video recording.

Authors’s note: try to picture them and their accents while reading this.

2019, October 13th. After working on their solo projects and promoting their albums all around the world, One Direction had decided that it was time to go back to what they started, and tour for Made in The AM. The sun rose like any other October morning and the internet was going crazy, sharing thousands of videos of the concert from the previous night.

It had only been the third show after their reunion, barely three hours of the boys on stage, but four years of waiting meant that fans had just enough footage to fill YouTube with video compilations. Harry’s dad jokes, Niall’s laugh, signs about Louis’ bum and Liam’s dance moves were already trending, but no one knew that the world was about to burn.

The boyband had begun their journey in the city that watched them grow since early days: London. They were no longer trying to find their spot in the industry. As they were internationally popular, the days of the tour bus were over. Though they missed their bunks and hanging out 24/7, it felt nice to sleep in a comfy hotel room during their stay.

_______________________________________________________________________

Around 11 am, a camera started recording in room 214, showing the sleepy face of Harry Styles sitting on the edge of the messy bed. Even though he looked tired, the Christmas themed sweater he was wearing made his eyes glow. It was too early in the year for that kind of wardrobe, but the colourful suits had left no doubt that he had a unique sense of fashion. He was focused on getting the camera’s angle right, when an oddly quiet Louis sat beside him.

L: There you go, Hazz. He smiled as he handed Harry a cup of steamy tea.

Louis was also wearing a sweater, a plain grey one, clearly oversized. He looked slightly nervous, and also excited, like he was finally going to get something off his chest. A weight he had been carrying on his shoulders for way too long. Harry, however, looked more at peace, or at least more comfortable.

H: I set up the camera there, I think it’ll do. Should I start, or do you want to?

Harry wasn’t sure how Louis was feeling about this. He knew that it had been Louis’ idea to make the bold move, he wanted to make him feel safe.

L: I think they should hear it from both of us.

He took a deep breath, hoping that it would make the story telling easier. He was sure about it. Being back in London only made him feel like it was the perfect time to do it. He had pictured this moment thousands of times before, and he couldn’t believe it was finally going to happen. The thought of long wished freedom reassured him. He looked at Harry to find his eyes showing support, and so he began.

L: Hey there, this is Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles (added Harry). You may know us from One direction, and for those of you wondering: no, this ain’t one of those video diaries. Well, it kind of is, but the purpose has changed entirely. We’re here because we’ve decided to stay true to ourselves, and finally put the sh*t we’ve been dealing with out there.

Louis doesn’t even know where to start, and Harry can sense his frustration in his early swearing. It takes just one second for Harry to realise that he’s gonna have to do the hard talking.

H: We met as contestants in the X Factor, along with three other young men, who would turn our lives upside down. We need you to know that we hold this time very closely in our hearts, despite the awful lot of drama that we had to go through.

L: Our world changed. We went from a guy who played football and a guy who worked in a bakery, to worldwide known artists. We were way too young to deal with all of it.

They don’t want to verbalize it, but their faces don’t lie: the memories are marked by pain.

H: The truth is, in the middle of figuring out who we were and what we wanted to do with this new life, we found comfort in each other. Harry turns his head to look Louis in the eyes and says: We fell in love. When he turns back to face the camera, his eyes show that to this day, he is still incredibly fond of Louis.

L: Then management and the industry f*cked it all up. I remember coming back home to you, and having this bittersweet feeling I couldn’t shake off. Sure, finally getting to show my emotions towards you was- His voice broke. … It was everything. Having to hide it outside, having to wait until we were alone, I couldn’t deal with it. To be honest I don’t even know how they let us live together, seeing how much of our lives they controlled.

H: We were kids, Lou. At first, we just did what we were told, and tried to make the most of the time we did get to spend together. But, eventually, it led to us growing apart. Being 16 and hearing that loving who you love, and being who you are, is going to ruin your career… You learn to hide.

Harry makes a little pause. He’s talking even slower than he usually does, as if he’s double thinking every word he says to make sure it comes out perfect. He wants to do justice to their story.

H: I started to hide my feelings towards everyone. I preferred to think that I was a closing myself, and not that I was being forced to be someone I didn’t identify with. I guess my defence mechanism was to deny that anything was being imposed. Of course, the picture of me that the media put out there didn’t help. Getting called “the womanizer” only made me close up even more, because I knew that any interaction with other celebrities would create rumours.

L: The impact it had on me was deeper, I even tried to change who I was. I can’t believe it went this far…

Louis’ voice broke just as he finished the sentence. One of his legs was shaking. Harry put his hand on his thigh, and Louis found the strength to continue.

L: I internalized a lot of hate towards myself. I ended up believing that getting over you was the right thing to do. Hell, I even pretended to be in relationships with people I had no feelings for. They know I loved them, and appreciated my friendships with them, but I was in love with you Harry. That’s something that couldn’t be changed.

Harry had heard those words many times before, but always fearful of getting caught. There was something about Louis’ confidence saying it now, that warmed his heart in a way he’d never be able to describe.

H: Everyone noticed that we weren’t as close. We made an unspoken deal to stay away from each other, and avoid our true feelings. Right before the hiatus, I couldn’t leave things like that, unsolved, ignored. We barely spoke, but not seeing each other was a completely different thing. Having you close was more important than I liked to admit. That’s when the… how do they call it? The hug?

L: The iconic Larry hug?

They both smiled, and the mood lightened up a bit. The toughest part was over.

H: Yeah, the iconic Larry hug happened. But management was still pressing, and we still felt trapped.

L: We did consider meeting up during the hiatus, but it was too risky. The last thing we needed was drama, and more intrusion into our personal lives. Time passed, and keeping in touch was not an option anymore.

Harry’s eyes suddenly opened a bit. It seemed he had remembered something pleasant.

H: But then Liam called.

They both looked up at the camera, completely in sync.

H: Liam called and said he was ready for a comeback.

L: I feel like it was a no-hesitation moment for all of us. I remember Niall’s joy when he saw us like it was yesterday. In three days we were already all together planning the next step. We made some calls and Made in The AM tour happened.

H: I still can’t believe how we managed to get everything ready at such short notice. But yeah, rehearsals came, and suddenly we were spending so much time together.

L: Just like old times.

H: I didn’t have time to think about how we’d work together after all that time and all the suppressed feelings, but the spark was definitely still there.

Louis blushed a bit.

L: What can I say? A love so deep and true doesn’t just go away. Seeing each other again, it was like those (almost) 5 years hadn’t taken place.

H: It wasn’t long till we felt like we couldn’t deny it anymore. And this time, we didn’t want to hide it. So here we are, in front of a camera, letting the world know.

They didn’t look tired or worried any more. The instant relief of saying it out loud was something that they’d never forget. This moment that they had waited so long for, was turning out to be even more satisfying than they could have ever imagined. Louis let out a sigh.

H: But we don’t want this video to be just about us, we want to put out a message.

L: First of all, thank you to all of the so called “larry shippers” who respected out privacy, and waited until we were ready to come out. Please, never forget that although being in the spotlight, we’re just like you, and you only get half of the story.

H: We’re happy that many people found our experience inspiring, and identified with us. We understand that representation is important, which is why we also want to speak up about the musical industry. It’s no secret that economic interests move management, people in charge of advertising and promoting. But their decisions all reflect the morals and ideas of society. Our identities were oppressed because heteronormativity sells best.

Harry looked at Louis to let him finish the message. He knew that giving hope to the people suffering was very important to him.

L: So we want to finish this up telling anyone that’s in similar situation, whether they’re in the industry or out of it, that you don’t have to let people tell you who you have to be. Who you have to love. You are free to live the life you want to live, and surround yourself with people who are supportive.

H: We’ll play our part spreading kindness throughout the world, but we can’t reach everyone. Please share this message with everyone you know, so that no one else has to bear what he had to go through.

L: We now have the chonce to come back to London after tour, or just go wherever our hearts tell us to go.

H: The bottom line is that we don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong, we’re each other’s home. Thank you for listening, and thank you for sticking with us till the end.

It’s done. It’s over. They’re finally free. No more words are needed for Harry and Louis to do what they’ve waited nine years to do in public. Harry puts his hand on his boyfriend’s cheek, Louis stares at Harry’s dimples for a second and quickly leans forward, he can’t wait. Time seems to stop when their lips meet. A A kiss – which marks the day they chose freedom.

_______________________________________________________________________

The video takes minutes to go viral. A happy Liam and a proud Niall are on top of the comment section: nothing other than supportive words from the friends that watched them suffer, and dreamt of the day they saw true bliss in their eyes.

#larry #fanfic #coming out #larry stylinson #love #one direction #harry styles #louis tomlinson #sign of the times #miss you #lgbt #video #Larry fanfic

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slyni-sparklyeyeshadow-blog · 6 years

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*Sparkly Eyeshadow*

So, my day started a few hours later than everyone providing a service to the world. Right now, I am in grad school and it has taken its toll on me. Always tired, always stressed, and always (sometimes) studying. My anxiety has been off the charts since starting grad school. It's so not my personality.. so serious. At least during my one-year in the real working world without having mom and dad rescue me at rent-time, I was always around people talking, laughing, and throwing coworker frenemies under the bus when the boss got mad. Now, I am around classmates a few hours a dayor 30 ten-year-olds 40 hours a week. It's really hard to find a happy medium. Emphasis on the happy.

This morning, I hit snooze for an hour per usual and end up waking up at 8:30 instead of 7:30 to finish my paper that I was supposed to start last night. But my gosh, have you seen the Instagram Explore page? Sign me up for a perfect bod, unlimited cash flow, and a travel agent with a keen eye for exotic places.

My point exactly. Already off track. I wake up and do my ten minutes of quiet time before anything else. *Alright, Ashlee.* I think. *You can do this.*

I get started and am amazed at how I rip through my first paragraph and how bomb my thesis is. Then I zip through the second paragraph and only ten minutes has passed by. I've realized I'm starving and my head is hurting because I have no coffee at the apartment. *Nope, not moving until you get this paper turned in.* So I'm typing and text my boyfriend good morning. Then I check to see if I have any Facebook and Insta notifications. And OH MY WORD I look terrible this morning! Need to wipe the coconut oil off before I Snap anyone. I wonder what filters there are today...

*Focus, Focus, Focus*

Back to the paper. It's fairly easy. At around 10:15 I get stuck because I am so hungry and am so mad at myself because I only have two paragraphs left. I talk myself into going to the Shell Station right around the Corner where I am pretty sure they think I live in the dumpsters with the cats. I look TERRIBLE when I go in there. Usually no make-up, hair pulled back, and my white vans that have more brown on them. I go. Today, I choose Java Monster because the Dunkin' Donuts Coffee I am obsessed with is 90 more calories than my 200 calorie Java Monster and Regina George and I really wanna lose 3 lbs. Like it really matters once I get a Peanut Butter Crunch Cliff bar... which is gone before I return to my apartment within walking distance.

So then I think to myself... it's almost 11. You have an appointment at 1. Why don't you just hop in the shower and fix up today? You look terrible. It'll do yourself some good. Maybe your head will even quit hurting. So I hop in and am already feeling like a productive person that will one day contribute to society. I get out and start my eye make up. *Remember this is the doctor, Ashlee. No silver metallic. Just white sparkles.*

I line them and paint them and cannot find my eyeliner sharpener. Pretty sure I threw it away after sharpening a pencil and convincing myself that I would get lead poisoning if I sharpened my eyeliner in there, too. So the eye liner could be better today. *Just remember thin lining on top.* 30 minutes has passed by and I realize I need to get with it and this is the doctor's office on a Wednesday at 1:00 pm. Not New Year's Eve in Time Square. So I try to do my foundation "natural" and this means mixing a Mac foundation with Estee Lauder's DoubleWear Foundation. That's easy. Ain't no brown spots seen through that stuff. I blow dry my unruly hair made better with It's a 10 Keratin treatment and BOOM! Lightening strikes my car. Swear. My car alarm is going off. For some odd reason I hide in my closet a second and realize it is lightening. Not a tornado. Either way, I think my reasoning was because I was far away from windows. Then the weekly panic phone call to mom goes through.

*Mother*

Yes, Ashlee.

*I think lightening struck my car.*

What?

*Like lightening just struck over the apartment and now my car alarm is going off. I think it hit my car.*

Oh, well it could have been the sound from the thunder was so loud, Ashlee. That happens. I don't think lightening would hit your car it's grounded with rubber tires.

*I'll check after the storm. If I touch my car will it shock me?*

No, Ashlee. It won't.

*K, bye. Love you.*

Love you.

I show up to the doctor's office in white linen pants even though we may have multiple tornadoes today and got there 30 minutes early because my doctor has moved offices and I know finding this office will be like the blind leading the blind. If I know me, I'll find the nicest, youngest looking millennial receptionist that shares my over-reliance of Google Maps and even though she works there every day, she will STILL lead me to a Parking Deck across the clinic and not my doctor's office. 34 minutes later, it is now 1:04, I find my doctor's new office. Another patient and I apparently didn't get a memo or preferred automated message to let us know the office was closed that day. Really? There is an unfinished paper icon sitting on my desktop. That's another phone call crying to mom today. Bless his heart, it would have called my boyfriend but he has heard me cry over the phone every day this week and I am trying to let him think I am having the best, most productive sunshine filled day as possible.

How unprofessional of my doctor! This girl with no current profession makes sure to leave her med school graduated physician a message deeming her unprofessional. I would have threatened to find a new doctor but she has 4 stars online and I decide to keep her. I'm sure she would be so relieved...

*Well half of your day is gone but you can still turn it around. Go to Barnes and Nobles so you can finish your paper around people and not by yourself in your dark room. I go to Barnes and Nobles... finish my paper and knock out two other assigned readings. YES. Just time to get distracted again.

My sister calls. The people in Barnes and Nobles now know my nephew had staph infection on his foot two weeks ago and that my doctor is a dill hole and I could "literally be dying. OMG." I get a lot of looks. Some sympathizing. Some dirty. And decide to go print out the 383874298 pieces of paper my professor e-mailed us. Who needs trees? Not like they give us oxygen or anything.. I drive to Fed-Ex because I broke my printer while Youtubing a video about how to insert the cartridge. Did I mention it starts hailing on my drive? No where to pull over.. whatever. Just drive through it... SLOWLY of course.

At Fed-Ex, one lady is annoyed I e-mailed them with so many attachments to print. Yes, she should be furious with me. They are providing a service and I am PAYING them for it. Thankfully this guy that always gives me free printouts is there. (Okay, that happened one time). I smile at the lady when he offers to help me to let her know that I'm a good paying customer and have built better relationships with her team than she has. APPARENTLY. She literally could care less even though I feel I have really socked it to her.

- That'll be $4.39, Miss *Insert My Last Name*

-thinking to myself * Wow, so glad he can read my gmail account name*

- ALOUD * How is that only four dollars? I printed like a million pages.*

- Well, I guess it could be less. * HE SMILES *

- thinking to myself * EWW. this is why you don't need to wear sparkly eye shadow. You totally send off the wrong message about your future aspirations. *

- I actually respond "Oh! Thank YOU!" He asks how my day goes and I immediately spill the beans about my car getting struck by both lightening and hail and he ensures me I can stay at FedEx as long as I need to.

- thinking to myself *GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!*

- I actually LAUGH and pretend I didn't hear him. "Thank you so much. Stay safe."

So I return to Barnes and Nobles in the hailstorm and continue to read while occasionally looking at the window. A security car has gone by a few times and the driver keeps making eye contact with me. *Really? Is this eye shadow so shiny he can see it through the window?* He keeps staring and I am actually mortified now even though he is supposed to keep all of us Summit Shoppers safe. Naturally, fearfully, I smile. Not a big one. You know, one of those smiles where they are supposed to understand they have no chance - a smile where you show no teeth and you squint your eyes weird. NOT FREAKING TODAY, BUDDY. YES, I SEE YOU AND THIS IS WEIRD. STOP. This is what I call TACT. COOTHE, as my mother has always called it. She says I need more of it. Boy, would I have made her proud today. Would've made up for one of my two panic phone calls...

A minute later, the security truck, not car, quickly comes to a halt in a nearby parking spot. He runs out.

*Oh my gosh. I hope no one has shoplifted a book. Some of the hard covered books are tempting because I want to read them but don't want to spend 30 dollars. I wonder what's going on? Is there a fire in the Starbucks? No, stupid. You are right here. There's no fire at the Starbucks. (Then I sniff the air) REALLY, there is no fire.*

"EXCUSE ME, MISS."

*OH SH*t* I think. Did I do something? Is he going to say he sees me leave the gas station around the corner with a brown bag in my hand way too much in front of all of these people?!?! I always wait until I get home. I would NEVER drink and drive!*

"I was just going to ask if you would like to KICK IT sometime."

*Relieved* Kick what? Oh HANG!

"Yeah, you know, hang out? Get coffee or something."

* thinks to myself, idiot we are IN a coffee shop. "Oh! Ha, I would but I've had a boyfriend going on 4 years now.* (I would NEVER. I have so much coothe...)

"Oh, dang. Well... I hope y'all break up."

"What?!"

"Yeah, I hope y'all break up! Can I still get your number?"

"No!"

"What about your name so I can look ya up on Facebook?"

* thinks to myself WELL MY pictures ARE CUTE..." "Yeah! It's Ashlee. a-s-h-l-E-E." *I put major emphasis on the last two letters of my name. ESPECIALLY THE LAST ONE. Just so he doesn't think there should be a Y there. Then, I give him my last name with major emphasis on the phonics so he gets it right.*

"Can I write on this?" Points to bottom of my homework.

"Oh yeah! There's nothing at the bottom." *He still writes my name wrong. Really? Even after that Alex Trebek phonics lesson? Maybe he won't find me now.*

"Okay and I'll leave you my number."

"I don't want-"

"Different area code."

"K, thanks." *I give the tactful smile with no teeth again to send the vibe that he needs to get gone.*

"I saw you through that window and thought THATS A BAD MAMA JAMA!" Apparently he didn’t catch my vibe. Why I hate coothe.

"HAHA... ohhh that's me!" *seriously, please leave before I cry.*

"Have a good day, Ashlee. Call me when you and your boy break up." I then realized he ripped exercise 4 off of my homework.

Umm, what just happened. He runs out to this Security Truck with Green lights on top still flashing. I see him out the window open his Facebook page. I just smile out the window at the events of my day and I start dying out laughing. People in Barnes and Nobles now think I wear too much sparkle eye shadow and cheat on my boyfriend. Good Lord. I quit laughing when I see the looks I'm getting. I wish I could give them all a tactful smile but am too embarrassed. Still can be petty in my head though. *Maybe yall should try sparkly eyeshadow, HATerS!*

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demitgibbs · 7 years

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Kelly Chameleon: An Interview with Kelly Osbourne

Osbourne rebel on being open to dating women (‘never say never’), celebs who fake gay and mom Sharon sneaking her into a drag club

Hollywood spitfire and staunch LGBT ally Kelly Osbourne is feeling tense about her first book, “There Is No F*cking Secret: Letters from a Badass Bitch.” After all, “What if I change my opinion by the time it comes out?!” she says, laughing because it’s true (Photos: Darren Tieste).

Then there’s our revealing interview, where the opinionated 32-year-old actress, singer and now author – and daughter of Ozzy and Sharon – let her candid thoughts loose on topics ranging from her sexuality (“everybody’s gay”) to her openness about dating women and her issues with celebrities who feign lesbianism for publicity. And that recent controversy over her statement regarding President Donald Trump? She admits it really got to her. Turns out, even badasses cry sometimes.

Kelly, your book, which covers your personal journey to self-acceptance, could have a positive influence on so many young people trying to find themselves.

Oh, thank you so much! It’s the most vulnerable thing I’ve done in a while, I can’t lie. I’m kind of like, oh my god, I’ve actually done this, because for the first time in my life I wanted to take my power back, and instead of people telling me who I am, I wanted to tell them.

Who are some of your favorite badass bitches?

I mean, Elton goes without sayin’. Just people who’ve made a difference in my life, like Liza Minnelli. I think Lil’ Kim. It’s anyone who just learned to be themselves and take responsibility for who they are.

When were you first aware you had an LGBT following?

I don’t remember a time in my life when I haven’t been submerged in the LGBT community. It’s the only community that, even though I shouldn’t have belonged (laughs), accepted me. It was the only world I ever really felt comfortable in, because, and I say it in my book, I don’t know what it feels like to fit in.

What do you attribute that bond to?

I think my relationship, especially with the drag community and the drag world, became so prevalent at such a young age because of Boy George, of course, and Blitz Kids and that huge movement in the U.K. I think drag queens choose how they want you to see them and they do that knowing that they’re probably going to get a lot of sh!t for it, and that’s what magic is. That’s like, “F*ck you, this is who I am,” and you can wake up every day and be whoever you want to be. I love that.

When did drag first come into your life?

It’s never NOT been in my life. I mean, my mom was calling up (a drag club) in San Francisco; I was, like, 11 or 12 and being snuck into a drag bar. It was amazing. And there was a time I went to go see Cyndi Lauper on tour when she was playing in the U.K., and she used to have, like, 20 drag queens on tour with her. I was probably about 9 or 10.

You have to understand, my favorite childhood pastime was putting my mom’s lacy underwear and bustier on over my clothes – because I wasn’t allowed to wear them any other way – and going to see “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”. “Rocky Horror Picture Show” is still, to this day, one of my favorite movies of all time. I loved the makeup. If you look really closely at the “Time Warp,” you’ll see where I get all my hair colors from. But yeah, everyone else was watching “Annie,” and I was watching “Rocky Horror Picture Show” and singing about sweet transvestites. (Laughs)

How much of your gay submergence do you credit to your mother?

It’s equally my mom AND my dad. In rock ’n’ roll, you were the outcasts back then and outcasts tend to find each other, especially in London.

How about Boy George – what was his influence on you?

I remember staring at my TV, thinking, “Is it a beautiful woman or a beautiful man? It doesn’t matter.” He was the first person to break down barriers. He single-handedly changed people’s perspective so much. And he’s such a smart man! If you ever sit down and have a conversation with him about his political views and his opinion of the gay community, he says things that are so spot on and so important because he’s lived long enough through good times and bad times to see what things really are. I love talking to him. And he has the most beautiful eyes you’ve ever looked into!

You recently wore a hat emblazoned with the words “I Am Gay.” Were you being literal?

You know my honest opinion? Everybody’s gay. It is a strictly human thing. You can’t put a gender on love.

But I know a guy – several of them, in fact – who insists he’s only into women.

Except he’s letting a guy suck his dick! If you ain’t tried it, you don’t get to tell me what you are.

Are you open to loving a woman?

I’m open to loving anybody. It’s about the person. I don’t think it’s about sexuality at all.

Your mother came out as bisexual last year. What have you learned about yourself from her regarding sexuality?

I told her, “Would you be the butch one? Come on, tell me, which one would you be?” Because whether it’s man and man, woman and woman, there’s always a masculine and feminine role. So I’m always like, “Mom, which one would you be?” And she’s like, “Oh, shut up, Kelly!”

But it’s not like I’m trying to be forward-thinking or progressive – it’s just that sexuality is a word I try not to even define the way the world defines it. It’s the person who you are sexually attracted to.

Do you not label your sexuality, then?

My whole rule is, never say never. I’ve never been in a relationship with a woman, but I don’t know that it’s not a possibility. But I also don’t like it when people claim to be gay and then not. There’s this whole generation of young Hollywood girls who can’t find love where they think it’s supposed to be, and then they come out being gay and two weeks later they have a boyfriend. It drives me nuts! I think it takes all the proactive work the LGBT community has done and sets them back. Oh, so now you’re gay? Then two weeks later: “Oh no, that was just a phase.” You don’t get to do that.

I’ll tell you who’s the worst with it: young female celebrities. And I’m like, I know you. I’ve known you pretty much since before you used to sh!t outside of a diaper. You are not gay! But I think outing somebody in that way is just as bad as outing somebody who has not come out of the closet. It’s one of those things I have to keep to myself… and it drives me f%cking crazy! I’ve marched till my feet bled for the right of equal love in the gay community, and you’re just gonna step in because it looks cool for you and now tell everybody that you’re a lesbian when you’ve never even seen another puss that’s not yours so you can get attention?

Where are we at with you having a baby with your gay best friend?

Oh, it’s inevitable. (Laughs) That’s just gonna happen. You know, I was so disappointed that I didn’t have a gay sibling. I was disappointed that I wasn’t gay even! Though I do still think that everybody’s gay, but still.

You’ve been to a lot of LGBT events: Pride with your mom, where you shut down protesters; Elton John’s wedding. What’s the most memorable gay event you’ve been a part of?

Oh my god, that’s so hard to pick! I can’t really think of an event that’s not a gay event. When you really think about it, what major party have you ever been to that was put on by a straight person? Because I can’t think of one.

You tell me. I’m not the one going to Elton John’s birthday party.

It was really fun, actually. (Laughs)

Rub it in.

So, my favorite gay Christmas event is anything with Mariah. She just brings out the best in everyone. Everyone’s crying, being emotional.

I love that you consider a Mariah Carey Christmas concert a “gay event.”

It’s totally a gay event – I mean, have you gone?! It’s so much fun. And I love her. I went to Disneyland with Mariah and we had the best time. It was everything you’d imagine going to Disneyland with Mariah would be. A dream come true.

Late last year, while receiving the Trevor Hero Honoree Award at the Trevor Project’s TrevorLIVE Los Angeles 2016 fundraiser on Dec. 4, during part of your speech you said, “We have to give (Trump) a chance. And we do it by spreading love, not hate.” Do you believe we should still give him a chance?

I think we should give… you have to think about it. If we’re being told the truth, which we never really are, people voted for him, and at that time when I said that he hadn’t been inaugurated yet. I’ve had to stop watching TV when it comes to politics. I only watch – I think you can hear it in the back; I watch BBC News so I can get a different perspective, because in different countries they show you different things that you don’t see here. It’s a really scary time that we’re living in, and I’m not gonna pretend that it isn’t.

What scares you most?

The way that people feel totally lost, don’t feel safe. When people don’t feel safe, it manifests and comes out in evil ways. There’s a lot of evil going around right now when we were finally at a place where people were ready to love. Now people are just ready to point fingers, judge and blame.

I don’t get to vote. I’m still going through the process of citizenship in this country – if it goes through, because I don’t know how things are going to change. I do encourage people to vote, but when we went down to downtown L.A. to check out the marches after the election, I asked people, “Who did you vote for?” Nine times out of 10, people said they didn’t vote. I was so confused! Like, why are you here?

But I have to keep to myself right now because I don’t want to enter into this political cannibalism that’s going on where people say stuff and then everyone just eats you alive for your opinion. Every attempt I have made in defending the (LGBT) community I somehow manage to f#ck it up and piss everyone off. I cried over the backlash of the Donald Trump thing with my speech, because if you read my whole speech, you’d get what I was saying, but they put that one sentence in there and I was like, “You d!cks.”

How are you feeling about where we are headed regarding LGBT rights?

I don’t know – and that’s what’s scary. I mean, I’m sorry, you cannot give somebody the right to marry and then take it away from them. You can’t do that. You just cannot do that. But what I’ve learned right now, because everything is so confusing and every single day threats are made and until you fully understand what’s going on, it’s like, keep your opinion to yourself.

I’m aware that there’s gonna be a lot more to fight for in our present time. Until I know exactly what it is that I’m fighting for – everything keeps changing and one day this, one day that, and no one can figure out whose side to be on. People can only figure out how to hate, and I refuse to do that.

About the author:

As editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com and on Twitter (@chrisazzopardi).

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2017/04/27/kelly-chameleon-an-interview-with-kelly-osbourne/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.tumblr.com/post/160059741745

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cynthiajayusa · 7 years

Text

Kelly Chameleon: An Interview with Kelly Osbourne

Osbourne rebel on being open to dating women (‘never say never’), celebs who fake gay and mom Sharon sneaking her into a drag club

Kelly, your book, which covers your personal journey to self-acceptance, could have a positive influence on so many young people trying to find themselves.

Who are some of your favorite badass bitches?

When were you first aware you had an LGBT following?

What do you attribute that bond to?

When did drag first come into your life?

How much of your gay submergence do you credit to your mother?

It’s equally my mom AND my dad. In rock ’n’ roll, you were the outcasts back then and outcasts tend to find each other, especially in London.

How about Boy George – what was his influence on you?

You recently wore a hat emblazoned with the words “I Am Gay.” Were you being literal?

You know my honest opinion? Everybody’s gay. It is a strictly human thing. You can’t put a gender on love.

But I know a guy – several of them, in fact – who insists he’s only into women.

Except he’s letting a guy suck his dick! If you ain’t tried it, you don’t get to tell me what you are.

Are you open to loving a woman?

I’m open to loving anybody. It’s about the person. I don’t think it’s about sexuality at all.

Your mother came out as bisexual last year. What have you learned about yourself from her regarding sexuality?

Do you not label your sexuality, then?

Where are we at with you having a baby with your gay best friend?

You’ve been to a lot of LGBT events: Pride with your mom, where you shut down protesters; Elton John’s wedding. What’s the most memorable gay event you’ve been a part of?

You tell me. I’m not the one going to Elton John’s birthday party.

It was really fun, actually. (Laughs)

Rub it in.

So, my favorite gay Christmas event is anything with Mariah. She just brings out the best in everyone. Everyone’s crying, being emotional.

I love that you consider a Mariah Carey Christmas concert a “gay event.”

What scares you most?

How are you feeling about where we are headed regarding LGBT rights?

About the author:

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2017/04/27/kelly-chameleon-an-interview-with-kelly-osbourne/ from Hot Spots Magazine http://hotspotsmagazin.blogspot.com/2017/04/kelly-chameleon-interview-with-kelly.html

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smokeybrandreviews · 6 years

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NBA Rant: Mamba Out, Period

Watching Kobe’s numbers go into the rafters was crazy bittersweet. This was the definitive end of his career. I held no illusions to the Mamba coming out of retirement for another season, Jordan he is not, but still. Kid brought us 5 titles. He was arguably the best player on the planet for years. Closest to Jordan in any era and he was a Laker. Proud and loyal. He was one of MY guys. Looking back on a career past, Kobe was just plain disgusting. I’m going to miss the Mamba but it was good to see him one last time.

Speaking of my guys, these young ass Lakers are good.

Real good. Way ahead of where they should be. Now, I am by no means saying they’re in contention for a playoff spot, they’re not, but they are winning games I thought impossible. They beat Houston, the only Team people say can even come close to challenging the Warriors. Hell, it took a last second shot by the best player on the planet for those very same warriors to beat the LAkers on Kobe night! In OT! They’re sitting comfortably in the 11th seed, about 2 games behind the Pels for the 8th seed. Their depth has been a big reason they’re doing so well this season and their defense is one of the best in league. Not bad for a group of kids. Oh! And I have to mention…

Kyle Kuzma is the goddamn truth!

Talk about Mamba Mentality! This kid was a steal and his potential is through the goddamn roof! Here’s hoping he’s a lifer. I would love to see Kuz retire and get his number hung in the rafters. If he can continue playing the way he is and growing into something better, tt’s a very real outcome to what would be a wildly impressive career.

Dwight is almost looking like old Dwight out in Charlotte.

He’s playing a much better brand of basketball and it has his team firmly planted in the playoff hunt. Realistically, they ain’t cracking the post season as they are now, not with the record they have, but we have, what? 2/3 of the season to go and this is the East. Anything is possible. I mean, even if they squeak in at 7 or 8, they’re not beating the Cavs or Boston but it’s nice to see my guy having fun and enjoying the game again. Even if he slighted my Lakers for Houston.

Giannis is the goddamn truth!

I will preach this every goddamn time I write a Rant because it needs to be said, loudly and forcefully! That energy needs to be put out into the goddamn universe! This kid is f*cking bonkers good! Cat is a franchise, man! Imagine if Kevin Garnett could run the point like Jason Kidd and you have Giannis. If the Bucks can ever surround him with enough talent to compliment his near heavenly skillset, the League will be in a bad way, for real! Watching him reminds me a lot of young Bron which makes me wonder…

What if Bron decided to actually play Point-Forward instead of pretending like he doesn’t already do that?

What if he embraced that position and owned what it meant to be considered the greatest player ever, not just pay lip-service to it? Look, I’m not a LeBron fan but I’d be stupid not to acknowledge he’s one of the best to ever play the game. The best? Debatable. He’d absolutely have to be in that discussion of top 5. For me, that list goes Michael, Magic, Cap, Kobe, Bron. In that order. I’m a LAker guy so obviously I’m crazy biased but there he is, number 5. Even if I think he wasted a lot of his potential. Even if I think he phones it in too much during the season. Even if I think he doesn’t have that competitive drive to win by any means necessary. Even if I believe he’s afraid of those big moments and defers to lesser cats because he NEEDS to be the GOAT and not the DONKEY. The dominance he’s displaying this year is profound and I’m just weary of it. Not because I’m taking his skill for granted but because if he actually executed like this in his natural point-Forward position, we’d have been witness to something truly spectacular.

Yo, just as I have to mention Giannis in these Rants, I have to mention how goddamn awful OKC has been.

Terrible! tey’ve been just terrible! For two reasons; 1. They’re brain dead as to how to effectively use PG, who is arguably the best two-way player in the entire NBA. Seriously, that kid is a killer and you got him on a leash? Really? In favor of perennial bust Carmelo Anthony? Seriously? And 2. They have absolutely no depth. These cats mortgaged their entire team just to sign Melo and George only to see that experiment immediately go to sh*t. I don’t know how they thought this thing was going to work. Rusty is a ball-hog who needs to control everything to be effective. There’s a reason he averaged a triple-double last season and it’s not because he had to. Westbrook purposely inflated his numbers specifically to contend for an MVP to spite Durant. That’s a thing. He didn’t make his team better, he just made himself look good. I maintain that Harden would have been the MVP because…

Victor Oladipo is a goddamn stud!

Everyone thought that PG trade was so one sided and it turns out, it was! In the other direction. VO has meant everything to the Pacers who, for a second, looked like they were taken for a ride. That is until Melo was added to the OKC roster. All of a sudden, they look like geniuses. The pacers are 4th in the East, pressing the best teams for Ws. They have a much better record than the Thunder. They’ve also beaten them this season, I believe. Not bad for a cat that was “terrible” last season playing alongside the “MVP”. I knew Ollie was dope. I’ve known for years. He was a stud in Orlando so why wasn’t he in OKC? Westbrook. Westbrook is why his shine dulled. Westbrook is the reason the Thunder won’t even crack the playoffs this year. And Westbrook is the reason why George is going to bail on a second team in two seasons. Come on home, PG. We’ll love you forever down in LalaLand!

And, as if to drive my point home about how retarded OKC was to make the moves they made in the offseason, The Knicks are f*cking THRIVING post-Melo!

I’ve said, for years, Melo was a problem. Since he blew up Denver for the limelight of New York and effectively derailed Stat Stoudamire’s career. Before Melo, that was a playoff team. All they needed to do was build around Amare and they’d have been legit. Fast paced offense. Pick-and-roll guard. Get a couple of sharpshooter at the 2 and 3 to play alongside him in the starting rotation; you got a team that’s hard to be, for real. Nope. Melo forces his way into that line-up and everything goes tits up. The second he leaves Denver, perennial playoff contenders with no star. Fast forward to last season, same scenario plays out. Melo doing Melo, stifling Kristaps development. Kid decides to bail on everything over the summer. Melo gets traded. Knocks are the 7th seed in the East playing for an actual spot in the post season, a spit they haven’t had since Melo’s first or second year in the Garden. Are you f*cking kidding me?? How can you not look at that objectively and come to the conclusion that Melo is franchise poison? Why do cats keep paying this douche?? Or, at least, starting this douche??

It’s just super funny to me how I’ve been saying Russell Westbrook has been the issue with the Thunder since he decided he wanted to be a star, since they traded Harden to Houston over him, and no one is willing to even acknowledge this to be fact.

Proven, over and over. Fact. He chased KD out of town, one of the best players to play the game. He then followed that up by ball-hoggin’ his way into an MVP on ridiculous numbers because he decided to take ALL OF THE SHOTS instead of actually playing as a team, particularly when you have a young killer like Oladipo on your squad. Then, after bogarding a broke ass OKC front office for the largest contract in NBA history, you strong arm them into signing Carmelo Anthony AFTER ALREADY TRADING THEIR FRANCHISE AWAY FOR PG!! This is vintage LeBron ego stunting, I must say! At least Bron delivered 6though. Westbrook ain’t winning a goddamn thing, ever. Not unless he gets it through his brain that he needs a team to do so. Even Jordan needed Pippen, homey.

Apparently Enes Kanter is a war criminal and traitor in Turkey.

The f*ck?

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smokeybrand · 3 years

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The Worst

I wasn't really planning to touch this one because I'm so goddamn tired but this sh*t with the Duggars is itching my booty so I'm going in. I got time today. Josh Duggar f*cks kids. Some of those kids were his own sisters. He was caught, convicted, and sent off to conversion therapy camp instead of jail because his pops' unwieldy power in Arkansas. In 2015. This all came out in 2015 because of rather diligent reporters and investigators. That's when we found out about the transgressions, which actually took place before then. Dude went through all of that, did all of those terrible things, BEFORE 2015! By the time all of this came out, the "issue" had already been resolved and that coward hid behind his "faith" through PR snippets and cats just okey-doked it. Sure, the Duggar lost their show, but who cares? They're still supported by the religious zealots on the Right. They still wield unheard of power in Arkansas, all because the Duggars are “Christian” in the “right” way. Because they're "good" people. Well, it's 2021 and ol' Joshy-boy is facing forty years for the same sh*t he got busted on, way back before 2015. I guess f*cking kids is “Christian” in the “right”, according to how these people interpret the bible. Why the f*ck is this even a thing? How the f*ck is this a thing. More importantly, where the f*ck are all of these bible-thumping, Conservative hypocrites, who support straight up insurrection, now that one of their own is about to be nailed to the wall for the most heinous sh*t a person can do? Today, I awoke and chose all the violence.

Duggar was convicted as a minor but was never held accountable for his bullsh*t and now, some sixteen years later since he was exposed as a predator and threat, cat is on the hook for some verifiable, factually provable, horrific sh*t. The feds found terabytes upon terabytes of graphic child porn on his personal computer. Dude had a whole ass Ashley Madison account a while back, for which has since apologized,but those thing are used strictly for adultery. So, Joshy-boy is on record for molesting kids as a minor, cheating on his wife through the interwebs, and has now got the feds on his butt, because he picture of kiddy butts on hand. You see, that's a patter of escalation. Josh Duggar is a monster and it makes me wonder how that monster was allowed to roam or, more importantly, how man other monsters are hiding in that f*cked up family. Of course, the family is denying the claims but, with that verifiable history, you can really be telling me this asshole ain't out here f*cking all of the underage partners he can get his hands on. Really? He f*cked his sisters, man! There are no limits to this dude's disgusting predilections. He's been doing the same sh*t he got nailed with from before, for decades. Why would he ever stop? Who stops their bullsh*t, especially after getting caught and let go with a slap on the wrist? If I burn down an orphanage and you make me pick up trash as a consequence, I'm just going to keep committing arson on sh*t because picking up trash ain't sh*t. The juice id definitely worth the squeeze at that point and I am thirsty, bud. So was Joshy-boy, but for kiddy-diddling, not theoretical arson.

Josh Duggar has been getting away with f*cking kids for decades. Decades of slipping the noose because of his clout and the fact his family is viewed as 'God fearing.” I'm not even going to get into that toxic mess, and how it enabled this scumbag, but ol' Joshy-boy has little girls in his own home, where, because of his "faith" his word is law. What the f*ck is he doing to those kids? He diddled his little sisters. That's fact. He was convicted of that in the court of law. That's fact. He has a record for that and was never properly disciplined for it. That's fact. If he could do that to them, and get away with it unscathed, it's not unheard of to think he could do it to his own. And that's not to slight his boys because, if he's been doing this since he was a kid and escalation is a thing, pretty sure a little boy butt is fine now, too. Of course, this is all speculation on my part but I'm comfortable throwing around these alleged accusations considering the actual evidence onhand. I'm comfortable say Josh Duggar f*cks because he f*cked his sister when she was a kid. One is more than enough, bud. Which is why I don't understand how he has gotten away with this sh*t for years after. Why wasn't Duggar put on a list like a regular person? Why wasn't he forced into proper therapy? Why wasn't he watched like a hawk for the rest of his life? Why was he allowed to escape consequence and re-offend for decades? Why were his sisters forced to interact with this dude on that show for years, when every KNEW what he did to them? Why the f*ck was he allowed back around kids and no one said a peep until the feds found straight up, hardcore, graphic child pornography on his home computer?

Sh*t like this is why i don't understand how Conservative people feel like they know the moral way. They use the bible as some sort of blanket, get-out-of-jail-free card, refusing to even acknowledge their transgressions. Even Matt Gaetz is doing that sh*t. Sure, he's leaning heavy into the "cancel culture" lie, even though there are literal Venmo receipts of him buying sex from a minor, but he claims this a witch hunt predicated on his loyalty to 45 and his strong Conservative values. Values that are intrinsically linked to that Jesus jargon. So, according to him, he can traffic women for sex, at leas one of which was underage but we'll see how many actually were, while being engaged to a woman he claims to love, but this is persecution? This is a politically motivated attack? He's the victim? Really? It doesn't even stop there. Most cats who still believe in 45, and i mean actually believe in him because they think that asshole is some sort of real life Second Coming, conveniently dismiss his long record of adultery, the fact that he uses their faith as a disingenuous prop, and, more to the point of this discussion, THE COUNTLESS ACCUSATIONS OF CHILD RAPE! Dude beat up a fourteen year old before raping her, because he wanted to take her virginity by said rape, but Epstein raped her first, so she was “defiled” when it was his turn to rape her and he was mad about it. So, I repeat, Trump beat up the fourteen year old girl before he raped her, for already being raped. Your president did that sh*t and I know he did because she sued. Put that in your pocket because we're going to circle back around to it in a bit.

There was an entire documentary about Epstein on Netflix and 45's name is riddled throughout it. There are Cosby levels of victims in his ledger and, like Cosby, where there's smoke, there is definitely fire, bud. Trump has for sure f*cked at least one child and that's more enough. He should be castrated and tossed into a hole, not uplifted as some great leader who is going to lead America into it's next golden age. If you actually think that, you're a f*cking idiot, and I mean that in the most aggressively disrespectful way possible. If you actually, in your heart, believe that Donald f*cking Trump is some sort of moral barometer, that he is the one best fit to guide this country into the future, you are the worst kind of person and don't deserve a voice in our democracy. The girl who sued him over her traumatic experience, is in that doc and recalls her story exactly the same way she's told it for decades, exactly as i heard it a decade and half ago. See? Full circle. This chick sued him and he settled. He paid her to make that sh*t go away, per usual, the December before his inauguration and no one talked about that. The difference in her case and the many, many, other settlements, is the fact that Trump doesn't pay anyone without at least three appeals or the Feds force him. He shot this chick an undisclosed amount of loot almost immediately. I don't even think her case made it to trial. I think they were still in Discovery and he whipped out the checkbook. Why was that? Maybe he didn't want her talking after he became President? Or maybe because she could substantiate the horrible f*cking claims she has never deviated from making, for two whole ass decades? I f*cking wonder.

Now, I'm not, in anyway, saying the Left doesn't have their issues. Of course they do. When you get to a certain amount of wealth and power, your moral compass goes wacky and you end up in the papers for giving everyone herpes or trying to start a cult or some sh*t. Celebrities are f*cking weird, bud. What I am saying is the fact that most of these ridiculously damaging and hypocritical f*ck problems, tend to err on The Right more than the Left. I mean, Hilary Clinton has buried bodies, for sure, and i don't mean just Benghazi but, since 2000, the Right has been riddled with some of the most egregious acts you can imagine, in terms of Christian morality. There's a list you can check out on Wikipedia and that hard "R" pops up a great many times. Lots of infidelity on the Left. Lots of the OTHER stuff AND infidelity on the right. It's pathological with these people. The harder you thump that bible, the harder you're apparently thumping some strange. Be it trans trysts, adulterous liaisons, getting it the gay way, straight up sexual battery, or outright rape, the Right is just out here, throwing their sh*t around at whatever will gush. However, when caught, they hide behind their “faith” as a deterrent from actual accountability. It's f*cking disgusting, dude. I mean, Bill Clinton got head from a co-ed in the Oval office but Trump gave head to a nine year old in one of the elevators at Mar-a-Lago. These are not the same and just because one overtly pretends Jesus is his savior, doesn't mean he should get that pass or that the comparison is in anyway apt.

The cognitive dissonance between espousing the virtues of Christ and actually living them is always so stark with these Conservatives. It's a tool to them, not a calling, not a guide. But so many of their proliferate eat that sh*t up. F*cking why? These people are pandering to you. They don't respect your beliefs. They literally f*ck kids. How can they be good Christians and do sh*t like that? None of those people are genuine in their belief. How the f*ck can you just give these assholes the pass? How can you exalt them as idols worth following, protecting, and aggrandizing? None of those frauds worship the way you do. Hell, the people you look to in order to deliver the Word, don't even live the Godly life. They're multi-millionaires flying around in personal jets they bought from Tyler Perry, because God told them they shouldn't have to fly coach with all those demons. Those demons are you, you f*cking sheep. That's how they see you. From your Orange demagogue to your sycophant senators to your televangelist false idols, you are the demons. You are the fodder. You are the rubes. And they know you'll turn the other cheek as they spread them kiddy cheeks, because all they have to do is hold a bible upside down from time to time and say “God is good.”

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