#you can never speak their name—share in their memory—the only place they exist is quietly in your memories that must go unspoken due to | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

edenmemes · 3 years

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misc poetry sentence starters

❝ one gets so used to one’s own horrors, one forgets how they must seem to other people. ❞ ❝ you remind me what love lives in this skin. ❞ ❝ you are the most phantom-like of all; you are a mere dream. ❞ ❝ i’m not telling you a story so much as a shipwreck—the places floating, finally legible. ❞ ❝ the world was made so we can find each other in it. ❞ ❝ the night isn’t dark; the world is dark. stay with me a little longer. ❞ ❝ i want you desperately. i want your strength and your softness, your hands, all of you. ❞ ❝ is that too much to expect? that i would name the stars for you? ❞ ❝ against your cheek my hand is warm and full of tenderness. ❞ ❝ the world grows green again when you smile. ❞ ❝ your share of pains would fill a sea. ❞ ❝ i’m so stuck on the ‘was’ of people. ❞ ❝ what i love in you is your power of loving, a bit wild, a bit primitive, but absolute. ❞ ❝ i like figuring you out. you are so human and puzzling. ❞ ❝ the unwillingness to try is worse than any failure. ❞ ❝ you wanted happiness. i can’t blame you for that. ❞ ❝ i did violence to my own heart. ❞ ❝ i don’t know how to stay tender with this much blood in my mouth. ❞ ❝ like a magpie, i am a scavenger of shiny things: fairy tales and dead languages. ❞ ❝ and here you come with a shield for a heart and a sword for a tongue. ❞ ❝ you kiss the back of my legs and i want to cry. only the sun has come this close, only the sun. ❞ ❝ sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof you’ve been ruined. ❞ ❝ when will it cease, this monstrous rage of yours? ❞ ❝ i will plant my hands in the garden. i will grow, i know, i know. ❞ ❝ i had it all and i want it back again. ❞ ❝ i don’t care about anyone, and the feeling is quite obviously mutual. ❞ ❝ we are two reflections that cross swords with each other. ❞ ❝ as for me, i am a watercolour. i wash off. ❞ ❝ do you dare send me away as though you were were waiting for something better? ❞ ❝ my dear, you are in danger of being burned by your own flame. ❞ ❝ i am three oceans away from my soul. ❞ ❝ you, occasionally, glimmer with a light i’ve never seen before. it frightens me. ❞ ❝ i went to sleep last night so i could see you. ❞ ❝ even the eyes of gods must adjust to light. even gods have gods. ❞ ❝ how much can you change and get away with it, before you turn into someone else, before it’s some kind of murder? ❞ ❝ it does me no good to be good to me now. ❞ ❝ i may look alright, but if you were to look more closely you wouldn’t find a single healthy bit in me. ❞ ❝ i must clothe myself in other worlds. ❞ ❝ suffering is the privilege of those who feel. ❞ ❝ sorry about the blood in your mouth. i wish it was mine. ❞ ❝ the vigor, the fire, that enables you to love and create. when you lose that, you’ve lost everything. ❞ ❝ i can be bold, because i have you with me always. ❞ ❝ you are shaking fists and trembling teeth. i know: you did not mean to be cruel. that does not mean you were kind. ❞ ❝ not that i want to be a god or a hero, just to change into a tree, grow for ages, not hurt anyone. ❞ ❝ i laughed today. for a second i was unhaunted. ❞ ❝ you are sunlight through a window, which i stand in, warmed. ❞ ❝ there’s something electric in your blood. ❞ ❝ you say you are broken, but broken mirrors like you create the most beautiful patterns of light. ❞ ❝ time doesn’t obey our commands. ❞ ❝ i love you quite passionately, and with a touch of tragedy. ❞ ❝ to feel anything deranges you. to be seen feeling anything strips you naked. ❞ ❝ i love you --- like a storm bursts overhead --- i must confess it; all the more fiercely because you burn and bite. ❞ ❝ and i have seen rivers, not unlike you, that failed to find their way back. ❞ ❝ i am less a god now that you’ve touched me. ❞ ❝ your words are gentle; but my blood runs cold to think what plots you may be nursing deep within your heart. ❞ ❝ you said i killed you --- haunt me then. ❞ ❝ your soul is frail and solemn, loyal and spring-like. ❞ ❝ you look like you’ve eaten the sun, like you drank so much sunlight you’re drowning in it. ❞ ❝ strangeness is a necessary ingredient in beauty. ❞ ❝ you will hear thunder and remember me. ❞ ❝ ever think it’s possible for us to be happy? ❞ ❝ and i would wonder across all the deserts of this world, even after death, to search for you. ❞ ❝ since we’re bound to be something, why not together? ❞ ❝ i am ashes were once i was fire. ❞ ❝ this mouth will destroy you the moment you mistake it for something soft, for something that is yours. ❞ ❝ it’s no easy thing to bear, the weight of sweetness. ❞ ❝ kill the light! i’d rather wallow in the dark. ❞ ❝ i have thought of you often since the darkness. ❞ ❝ with your presence the sun becomes irrelevant. ❞ ❝ there is no god left in this skin. there’s just the ash. just the ash. ❞ ❝ open your eyes, look more sharply, see me as i am. ❞ ❝ what the hell is tragedy? i am. ❞ ❝ i’ve got a lot of feeling for you. you’re kind. ❞ ❝ how beautiful it is, how beautiful, that glow before the stars break. ❞ ❝ so much to do today: kill memory, kill pain, turn heart into a stone, and yet prepare to live again. ❞ ❝ i am myself. that is not enough. ❞ ❝ i may be mad, god-seized, but i will stand outside my madness. ❞ ❝ my power, which to me is still a curse --- ❞ ❝ ocean sea with its caressing swell; it has so often cooled my heart. ❞ ❝ do you bathe in perfume, and dry yourself in light? ❞ ❝ i like you; your eyes are full of language. ❞ ❝ let me tell you what i do know. i am more than one thing and not all of those things are good. ❞ ❝ you are the cause and the cure --- both. ❞ ❝ i have kisses for the back of your neck. ❞ ❝ your beautiful glance is unbearably cruel. ❞ ❝ we might meet again, someday between dreams at dawn. ❞ ❝ suffering is a terrible fire; it either purifies or destroys. ❞ ❝ lately it hurts more to imagine you are a stranger rather than a destroyer. ❞ ❝ and i say to myself: a moon will rise from my darkness. ❞ ❝ since you walked out on me, i’m getting lovelier by the hour. i glow like a corpse in the dark. ❞ ❝ i will not whine. i will obey and be forever still. ❞ ❝ you move like the moon. ❞ ❝ my eyes ache with the weight of unshed tears. ❞ ❝ in your eyes, the fires of twilight. ❞ ❝ do not haunt my soul; i have done well forgetting you. ❞ ❝ i am no one. i cannot love. it’s in my blood. ❞ ❝ you’re wearing your armor to protect your heart. who can blame you? it only makes sense in a world like this one. ❞ ❝ you are not real. you are a dream of a dream. ❞ ❝ there are so many things i’m not allowed to tell you. ❞ ❝ i am indeed a shameless, evil-minded and abominable creature. ❞ ❝ come this evening --- i am eager for stars. ❞ ❝ i am on fire with that soft sound you make, in uttering my name. ❞ ❝ i want you mostly in the morning when my soul is weak from dreaming. ❞ ❝ to me you are the desert and the sea; everything secretive. ❞ ❝ i thought i was wounded to the core but i was only bruised. ❞ ❝ it is a dead heart. it is inside of me. it is a stranger. ❞ ❝ i live --- but i’m mutilated. ❞ ❝ if there is a light then i am going to swallow it. if there is a god then i’m going to make him cry. ❞ ❝ i am condemned to be a saint or a monster: unable to be the one, unwilling to be the other. ❞ ❝ you will open your wounds and make them a garden. ❞ ❝ i come home --- and i feel like a ghost returning its haunt. ❞ ❝ i planted roses, but without you they were thorns. ❞ ❝ everything inside me is in revolt. ❞ ❝ how this darkness soaks me through and through. ❞ ❝ give me my robe, put on my crown; i have immortal longings in me. ❞ ❝ say something dangerous like i love you. ❞ ❝ listen, are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life? ❞ ❝ in times of crisis, we must decide again and again whom we love. ❞ ❝ breathe the scent of little, earthly things. let the twilight touch you. ❞ ❝ my heart is just like the ocean, has storm and calm and tides. ❞ ❝ you became for me a sacred being, not to be touched save in adoring thoughts. ❞ ❝ gods are stubborn. so am i. ❞ ❝ is it better to out-monster the monster or to be quietly devoured? ❞ ❝ there’s something soft in me. i killed it and it’s rotting. ❞ ❝ beware. beware. there is a tenderness. ❞ ❝ half gods are worshipped in wine and flowers. real gods require blood. ❞ ❝ i’m alive. like a wound, a flower in the flesh, the path of aching blood is open within me. ❞ ❝ you dangle on the leash of your own longing; your need grows teeth. ❞ ❝ i have it in me...to scare myself with my own desert places. ❞ ❝ my mouth still houses century-old magic. in my ears i hear a ringing and singing and no god. ❞ ❝ keep talking. i’ll keep walking toward the sound of your voice. ❞ ❝ i’m full of poetry now. rot and poetry. rotten poetry. ❞ ❝ this skin is sick with loneliness. ❞ ❝ memories are sharp. they bite. i have spent most of my life trying to grow a thicker skin just to make sure i would not bleed out whenever i felt those teeth scrape up against me. ❞ ❝ i wonder if i will ever find a language to speak of the things that haunt me the most. ❞ ❝ after fury, what do you do with the remains? ❞ ❝ come on, dance with me. the earth is spinning. we can’t just stand on it. ❞ ❝ let’s admit, without apology, what we do together. ❞ ❝ try to find the right place for yourself. if you can’t find it, at least dream of it. ❞ ❝ it takes grace to remain kind in cruel situations. ❞ ❝ i am too full of life to be half-loved. ❞ ❝ today you want nothing because wanting comes too close to feeling. ❞ ❝ there’s nothing more terrible, more alluring, more mysterious than love. ❞ ❝ heavenly wine and roses seem to whisper to me when you smile. ❞ ❝ my soul is devoutly and wholly under your spell. ❞ ❝ will you see the human in my being? ❞ ❝ if i had a flower for every time i thought of you…i could walk through my garden forever. ❞ ❝ part broken part whole, you begin again. ❞ ❝ i don’t know if love’s a feeling. sometimes i think it’s a matter of seeing. seeing you. ❞ ❝ i wonder which will get you killed faster, your loyalty or your stubbornness? ❞ ❝ whether you come as a lover or an exeutioner, i am ready to receive you. ❞ ❝ i think i understand your longing. it looks so much like mine. ❞ ❝ i’ve had so many knives stuck into me. when they hand me a flower, i can’t quite make out what it is. ❞ ❝ i like the sea: we understand one another. it is always yearning, sighing for something it cannot have; so am i. ❞ ❝ do i not live? badly, i know, but i live. ❞ ❝ something of you stuck with me. a splinter. ❞ ❝ i clung to your hands so that something human might exist in the chaos. ❞ ❝ sometimes i shut my eyes, and shut my heart towards you, and try hard to forget you because you grieve me so, but you’ll never go away. oh you never will. ❞ ❝ my golden love, if only you knew, what precious honey you are for me. ❞ ❝ i had an old wound once, but it is healing. ❞ ❝ always this in-betweenness, this almost, this it might be that... ❞ ❝ when i close my eyes, i see you. when i open my eyes i want to see you. ❞ ❝ dark as it is --- you see, that little flickering, is the light of my soul. ❞ ❝ am i a monster or is this what it means to be a person? ❞ ❝ i am talking about evil. it blooms. it eats. it grins. ❞ ❝ sapphires are those eyes of yours, ravishingly sweet. ❞

#rp meme #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #long post for ts /#ill most likely add some more soon <3

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nev3rfound · 3 years

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someone i once knew : b.b - p.2

now that everyone has returned to the compound, bucky can confide in his oldest friend about you being here and what it could possibly mean. (2k)

(anything in bold/italics are flashbacks/memories!)

masterlist / permanent taglist

PART ONE . PART TWO . PART THREE . PART FOUR . PART FIVE . PART SIX

“Stevie? You down here?” You hesitantly walk down the dark alley, hearing squeaks from the rats in their homes. “It’s only me, I promise.” You add as you scan the area.

You pause at the sight of a bin lid rising, and Steve peers over the brim to see you smiling weakly at him. “Hey, Y/n.” Steve mutters, now standing upright, sporting a black eye for the third time this month.

“Hey,” You walk over, holding out a hand and help him out of the bin with some difficulty as the lid slams into the concrete, the rattling sound echoing upwards. “I won’t ask, don’t worry.”

Steve manages to smile at that, you never asked him about his ventures into alleyways or how he ends up with some injury each time until he was ready to talk about it. He knows that’s why you’re such a good friend, the opposite of Bucky whose route is more direct and to the point.

Walking out of the alleyway, you turn the corner only to see Bucky leaning against the wall, leg resting against it as his arms remain crossed. “And here I thought you would’ve come alone.” Steve comments to you, looking up to see your evident surprise.

“I did.” You remark, stepping forward and hit Bucky’s arm. “I told you, James, not to follow me!” You groan in frustration whilst Bucky simply smirks and winks to Steve who remains equally unimpressed.

“Well, I thought about it, and decided it’d be best just in case there was any trouble like last time.” Bucky states, pushing himself off the wall and walks after you. “You can’t be mad at me, seriously, doll?”

You quickly turn around, glaring at Bucky who steps back. “Do you remember what happened last time, huh?” You question, looking over to Steve who nods.

“You slammed a bin lid against that punks head.” Steve comments and the anger in your expression eases.

“Thank you, Steve.” You glance past Bucky to Steve. “I can fend for myself just fine, James.”

Bucky sighs and glances over to Steve with his shoulders slumped forward, but Steve simply shakes his head. “You’re on your own, pal.” Steve chuckles, watching as Bucky jogs to be by your side and wraps his arm around your waist and kisses your cheek.

Walking in behind Thor, Steve spots Bucky in the far corner of the conference room.

“So, how’d you manage then? See you didn’t burn the place down which I call a success.” Steve jokes as he pulls out the chair beside Bucky who barely reacts, his eyes focused on the files placed on the table with his name neatly written on the top. “Buck?” Steve speaks up, and Bucky slowly lifts his head up.

“It was fine.” Bucky remarks as he sits upright, his arms remaining crossed over his chest. “But it’s good to see you.” A half-smile forms on the soldier's lips and Steve curtly nods.

“Did Tony’s assistant show her face much?” Steve asks, his attention averting to the files in front of him, missing how Bucky tenses upon mentioning you.

“About that,” Bucky starts, but the door slams open and Tony walks in, making a grand entrance as always whilst you follow in quietly, closing the door softly whilst your back faces the Avengers.

“Damn,” Sam mutters, holding back a whistle as you turn to face the Avengers, trying your hardest to remain composed as all eyes are on you.

“Sam,” Tony calls him out whilst you busy yourself with some of the files and take a seat at the table beside Natasha who smiles at you. “anyway, this is my new assistant, Y/n.”

Steve suddenly snaps up to see you give everyone a small wave. “Hi, it’s lovely to finally meet you all.”

Yet, Steve’s eyes only widen as he turns to Bucky who buries his head into the files, ignoring you completely.

“So, Y/n’s new, she’s living here so please, don’t be weird.” Tony sighs before carrying on with his presentation and remains unaware of Steve looking at you closely in disbelief at how it can be.

"Like any of us would be weird, it's a pleasure, Lady Y/n." Thor comments and Steve listens as you chuckle at the God's remark.

“Seriously, James, just let him do it.” You huff as the three of you stand outside of the registering office once again.

Bucky tears his eyes from you as he removes his hat, holding it in his hands as fireworks sound behind you. It was his final night before he left, he wanted it to be perfect.

“Why’d you wanna do it so bad, huh?” Bucky asks, facing Steve who stands tall whilst Bucky looks down on him, you behind him with a supportive look in your eyes.

“I wanna serve my country, Buck, just like every other guy.” Steve states, repeating himself for the umpteenth time.

Stepping forward, you take a hold of Bucky’s hand, intertwining your fingers with his and squeeze lightly. Even without words, Bucky could understand you perfectly and sighs under his breath.

“Alright.” Bucky gives in with great difficulty and releases his hand from yours as he hugs Steve. “Just, don’t do anything stupid until I get back.”

Steve breathes out a laugh as he hugs his oldest friend, but can see tears forming in your eyes as you watch the pair.

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” Steve retorts as Bucky backs away. “Don’t win the war until I get there, okay?”

Nodding to Steve, Bucky salutes him before returning to your side, uttering promises of a final dance and a night together, knowing it could potentially be his last.

“Earth to Steve?” Sam waves his hand in front of Steve’s face, snapping him from the buried memory as you close your folders and follow behind Tony, everyone else now rising to their feet and departing. “You coming, Cap?” Sam asks, seeing everyone gone besides him and Bucky.

“I’ll follow you out in a minute.” Steve states and Sam exits without asking any questions, leaving the old friends alone with an impossible elephant in the room.

“Steve,” Bucky starts, but Steve clears his throat and rests his arm on the table.

“What is going on here, Buck?” Steve questions, still in disbelief as he witnessed you walk in with the same shy energy you once had as a child and sat quietly beside Natasha. “That, that can’t be Y/n.” Steve scoffs, but Bucky raises a brow.

“We’re here, Steve.” Bucky remarks. “Can’t say anything is impossible anymore.”

“But, but how? I, I’ve visited her grave. Bucky, Y/n died in 2005.” Steve sadly admits, having seen your name etched in stone as flowers lay beneath it.

Bucky shakes his head. “I don’t know Steve, I’ve been trying to figure it out but Y/n has had a life, a childhood that she remembers.”

After his initial interaction with you, Bucky scrolled through the internet with great difficulty (with FRIDAY’s assistance) and found records of your birth date, parents names and their death certificates. You exist in the now according to the government records, and so does a family that isn’t one Bucky knew.

“So she has no idea who we are? I, she wasn’t taken or,” Steve trails off, not wanting to think about you being another victim of HYDRA’s.

“She has these memories,” Bucky begins to explain, but he looks up to ensure no one is eavesdropping. “I, she remembers pieces of her life growing up with us, but she doesn’t know it’s us.”

“How is that even possible?” Steve leans back in his chair, struggling to comprehend it as Bucky simply shrugs his shoulders. “So what? All this is just happening by chance, huh? Tony just hired our oldest friend, your-”

“Don’t say it.” Bucky cuts Steve off, his blue eyes hardening and his jaw clenches shut.

“Look, all I’m saying is we should talk to Tony, see if we can make any sense of this.” Steve suggests and pushes his chair back. “I know this isn’t easy, Bucky.”

Bucky scoffs under his breath. “You have no idea, pal.” Bucky remarks as he follows Steve out from the conference room and toward the elevator.

“Can you hold it please!” You call out and rush down the corridor, seeing the pair waiting. As you slip inside, you smile up to Steve who nods back whilst Bucky keeps his eyes locked on his feet. “Thank you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/n.” Steve tries his hardest to remain composed as you fidget with the hem of your shirt, something you used to do with dresses instead.

As the doors open, you nod to Steve and exit, leaving the pair alone once more and Bucky exhales deeply.

“Real smooth, Buck.” Steve jokes and Bucky’s shoulders fall forward. “What happened between you two whilst we were gone, huh?”

“I, I don’t know.” Bucky mutters as the elevator rises further up the compound.

Walking through the corridor to your suite, tears form in your eyes once more. “Again?” You ask yourself as you dab your eyes, an overwhelming sense of sadness forming in your heart.

Standing proudly alongside many others, you wave as the soldiers board the trains. “Don’t cry, doll.” Bucky wipes your eyes, his hands resting on your cheeks as he takes you in, unsure if he’ll ever have the joy of seeing your bright smile ever again.

“I can’t help it, James.” You admit, sniffling as the whistle sounds. “I love you, and please, don’t do anything dumb, you idiot.” You chuckle as Bucky leans closer, capturing your lips with his, saying more than words could as tears fall from your eyes as he pulls away.

“This isn’t goodbye, Y/n.” Bucky assures you as he boards the train, blending in with the rest of the soldiers as you do with the worried lovers bidding farewell.

Forcing back the sob in your throat, you watch as he disappears out of sight, leaving you alone with the realisation; he might never come home.

“Hey, Y/n?” Natasha taps your shoulder, and you discreetly wipe your eyes before facing her.

“Hi, Natasha, can I help at all?” You ask, forcing a smile that Natasha can see right through.

She hums before motioning for you to follow her. “Listen, I know Barnes can be, well, Barnes,” You nod along, unsure where she’s going with it. “but he means well under all that. I, I just want to make sure you’re comfortable here, and if you ever need me, I’m just above.” Natasha motions to the floor above, and you nod along.

“Thanks, Natasha. Bucky’s fine, I promise. He just, he reminds me of someone I once knew.” You state, unsure of your own words as they leave your lips.

“Ah, we’ve all been there.” Natasha remarks, seeing an unease across your face. “You okay in there?” She asks, but you immediately perk up.

“Yeah, I should,” You point down to your phone. “I should go sort Tony’s meetings, I, I’ll see you later.”

Before Natasha can ask anything else, you rush off to your suite, locking the door behind you.

Leaning against your door, you can feel your heart drumming against your chest, threatening to burst through. “Hey, FRIDAY?” You ask as your eyes remain tightly closed, images of Bucky crossing your mind, but a version you’ve never met.

“Yes, Ms Y/l/n?” FRIDAY answers.

“Where is the nearest Doctor?” Your voice remains uneasy as silence follows.

“Is something wrong Ms Y/l/n? Would you like me to inform Tony?”

“Erm, no, I, I don’t want to worry him.” You state, but three knocks on your door interrupt you.

Stepping back, you unlock the door and pause as Tony stands before you with his arms crossed over his chest.

“You’ve got some explaining to do, don’t you think?” Tony asks as you breathe heavily and step aside, knowing this would be a long conversation ahead.

PART THREE

(thank you to the following for all the love in the first part! if you’d like to be tagged in this mini series do let me know) (or equally do not want to be tagged - i am just mentioning all those who left comments in part 1 :) )

@mggpleasedontlookhere @obsssedwithjustaboutanything @16boyfriends-and-me @sarge-barnes-sir @lilysgarden @sarcasticallywitty15 @buckyandsteveimagines @sassy-pelican @decaffeinated--fangirl @amywinehouseisgod @tearsinparadise @just-dreaming-marvel-2 @tcc-gizmachine @newyork47

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dickwheelie · 3 years

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Uhm, I don't know if you're still taking requests, of course you can just, not do it, but I was thinking, maybe jon touching star!Martins face littered with stars for the first time? 👉👈

this is based on @flamingfinch's and @tired-dummy's star!Martin au which you can find more of on their blogs :) I loooove writing about this dude so this was a great request to get, thank you Teo and I hope you enjoy!

_____________

Most of the time, Martin looks at least passably human. Perhaps he takes up a little more space in a room than he should, perhaps the air around him glows with a barely perceptible aura, and perhaps his skin is just a little too hot to the touch. Most people overlook these things, choosing not to question them or simply unable to notice them at all.

Jon is different. From the moment they met, Jon knew Martin was something otherworldly, though he wasn't yet sure what. When Martin told him he was an ancient being who crafted stars and arranged galaxies, Jon wasn't even necessarily surprised. It explained Martin's strange amber glow, his perfectly white eyes, and how impossibly large he seemed, even when he was at his six-foot human height.

Neither of them know, even after months of being together, why Jon can perceive Martin so clearly, as he does. Jon is grateful for it, because it was what brought the two of them together. He doesn't like to think about a world in which Jon had just let Martin pass him on the street, completely unaware of his otherworldly beauty, and the magnificent heart that lay underneath.

Jon thought he had seen all that there was to see of Martin's true form, until today.

They're sitting out on the back porch of Jon's tiny cottage, stargazing, as they always do on clear nights. Jon loves listening to Martin talk about the stars; he points each of them out and tells Jon their true name, and a story about them. Martin remembers them all, even the smallest, most distant ones. Some of the furthest stars have already died, their light reaching earth millions of years late, and when Martin speaks about them it is as though he is looking at a photograph of an old friend. He has moved Jon to tears more than once.

That night is more joyful. Martin is telling Jon about two stars in Orion's belt, young troublemakers who were best friends and completely incorrigible. "I kept trying to separate them," he says, "but they'd have none of it. They loved each other too much."

"What did you do?" Jon asks.

Martin shrugs. "In the end, I let them be. They orbit each other now. They're a little older, a little wiser. They've stopped causing so much trouble, but they love each other just as much."

Together they stare up at the stars in silence. Out here, in the countryside, there's not an inch of sky that isn't full of them.

"Do you miss them?" Jon says after a few moments. "The ones that are still up there, I mean. Do you wish you could be up there with them again, all the time?"

Martin looks at him, sensing the unspoken question in Jon's words. "I like being down here with you, Jon. You're as precious to me as any star. I'd never trade this life for that one." He smiles at him. "And I know you'd never ask me to."

That much, at least, was true. Whenever Martin had to leave to complete his starbound duties, Jon missed him, yes, but never resented it. He'd often use his telescope at night to try to see if he could spot Martin making new stars, but Martin had the whole universe to travel through, and he was so rarely working anywhere near the Milky Way.

He always came back, though. Jon is no longer as surprised by this as he was in the beginning, but sometimes his heart still leaps in his chest when he sees Martin's amber glow pouring through the gap under his front door.

"That's very sweet, Martin," Jon says coyly. "But you didn't answer my question. Do you ever miss them?"

Martin stares up at the endless expanse of stars. Jon can see they're reflected in his eyes, their usual white glow replaced with an inky black pool of tiny lights.

"All the time," he says.

As Martin stares up at the night sky, something in his face changes. Not his expression; his face itself. Jon blinks, thinking it might be an optical illusion, but no--there are tiny, glowing silver lights appearing across Martin's face, dotting it like freckles.

Jon sits up, leaning across the bench they share to get a closer look, and when Martin turns his head to look at him, the pattern of the lights on his face changes, mirroring the pattern of the stars behind Jon, a perfect projection of the sky. Jon gasps, and Martin gives him a puzzled look. "What is it?"

"Martin," Jon says breathlessly, reaching out towards his face but not touching it, "your face is covered with stars."

It's one of the most beautiful things Jon's ever seen. Martin's face, already lovely, is incandescent as it glows with pinpricks of starlight, peppering his cheeks and nose and forehead and lips, and Jon has been privileged to see Martin as he truly is, but he's never seen anything like this. Never before has Martin appeared so entirely other, so completely, obviously inhuman. Jon can't look away. He never wants to, ever again. He wants to reach out and touch, to run his fingers through the stars mapped out on Martin's cheeks, to kiss them from his lips, but he doesn't move forward.

"Oh," Martin says, realizing what Jon is seeing, "I'm sorry, I didn't know I was doing that. I can make them go away, give me a moment--"

"No," Jon says, his hand darting out to hold Martin's, as though that might stop him, "no, Martin, they're--you look--"

Jon stutters, not knowing how to describe to Martin how little he wants him to hide his stars away again. Martin quirks an eyebrow at him, perhaps a little confused, but thankfully the stars remain.

"Please don't get rid of them. Just . . . let me just . . ." Jon leans in close to Martin's face, examining the stars as they wink and move, ever so slightly, across it, as though alive. Which, Jon supposes, in a way they sort of are. Looking closely, he thinks he can see galaxies slowly turning at the corners of Martin's eyes, in the divot of his lips. Tentatively, as though they were fish in a pond that might dart away, Jon reaches out and places his fingertips on Martin's cheek. The stars don't move under his touch, but Martin shivers slightly, causing the projection to wobble. Jon quickly moves his hand away and glances up into Martin's eyes. "Is this alright? I'm sorry, I should have asked before."

"I . . . yes. Yes, it's alright," Martin says, quietly, staring down at him with wide, starry eyes.

Jon places his fingers once again on Martin's cheek, then traces a line down to his chin. Martin's face is warm, but the stars are just slightly hotter, sparking under Jon's fingertips. He places his other hand gently on Martin's other cheek, swipes a thumb across his nose, as though to scatter stars across it, though of course they don't move. Jon traces the patterns of stars that have gathered on the hills of Martin's lips, and then slowly, giving Martin the chance to pull away, he leans in to kiss them.

Martin does not pull away, and in the moment before he deepens the kiss Jon can feel every pinprick of every star that adorns Martin's lips, as though he is kissing each one in turn. Jon closes his eyes against the divine beauty of it all, the wonder that lies across his lover's face that Jon is able to touch, however briefly or distantly. Some of the stars under his hands and lips are gone, will never exist again except in memory, and some have only just been born a millennia ago, and all are important, and have been loved.

Then, as though strings have been cut, Martin surges forward and captures Jon in a searing embrace, kissing him so deeply that for a moment Jon half-believes he might walk away from this with stars of his own dancing over his lips. Jon does not let go of Martin's face, his palms against his jaw and thumbs stroking across his cheeks and under his closed eyes, feeling the stars dance across his skin as the two of them push and pull against one another. Behind Jon's eyelids there is the silver glow of a million stars less than a breath away.

When they part, breathless and clinging, Jon still does not open his eyes. He just presses his cheek to Martin's, feels the stars moving beneath it in time with his breaths. He turns and presses a kiss to it, then another, and another. Martin holds him so closely, a hand gently running through his hair.

"I love you," Martin says, softly. "As much as any star."

Jon laughs a watery laugh. "I know." When he finally opens his eyes again, he can see that Martin's face has dimmed back to its usual form, though his eyes are still dark and full of stars. Jon knows he could look up and see the same image in the night sky above, but he gazes into Martin's eyes instead. "I love you, too, Martin." He pauses, then smiles into those boundless, reflected depths. "As much as any star."

#the magnus archives #tma #jonmartin #martin blackwood #jonathan sims #gwyneth writes #i have 3 more of these which i will get to!#sorry it's taking so long lol

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nat-20s · 3 years

Text

Part 8 of the wonderful! Au: the boys answer some questions! Up to you to decide if they actually clarify anything!

(also on AO3)

~*~

Martin: Hey everyone! I know what some of you are thinking right now: it's not Tuesday, why is this episode in my feed? I know significantly more of you are thinking: I don't consistently keep up with podcast releases, how much free time do you think I have, buddy? To answer your queries: this is a bonus episode! We're answering listener questions to clear the air and/or have fun. Also, I don't know, around 20 to 40 minutes a week, as that is the average amount of time per episode? Maybe during your commute? My husband's omnipotence has been gone for five years, we just have to guess at that sort of thing now.

Jon: For legal reasons, that last statement was a joke. In fact, to cover all of our bases, we do not guarantee that any of our responses are genuine.

Martin: Just because we say we'll answer things doesn't mean we'll answer truthfully. Though, honestly, I think we might make it more enjoyable if we do tell the truth. Like, I don't necessarily have a fun lie prepared for our first question from konspiracyking97: "What's their fuckin deal anyway?"

Jon: Is this referring to the oblique references we've made about being from a parallel reality and only ending up here as a consequence of ending one apocalypse and potentially starting another or the general premise of the show?

Martin: Oh, it's gotta be general premise, yeah?

Jon: In that case, I'm Jon, the other voice you're hearing is Martin, we're married, and we talk about things that are..nice? Good? Usually generally but occasionally rather specifically pleasant.

Martin: That pretty much covers it. It's not a complicated show. Uhh, next question comes from Shane: are either or both of you aliens? Nope!

Jon: Well..

Martin: No. We are 100% human people from Earth, we are under no definition extraterrestrial.

Jon: Eh..

Martin: Okay, first off, I know the tone of that 'eh' and "not fully human" is not synonymous with alien, so even if 100% is being a bit generous, we're still from the same planet as our listeners.

Jon:..

Jon: But. We sort of aren't though. Technically speaking.

Martin: No no no no no. I don't care if it's parallel, Earth is Earth is Earth, regardless of whatever nonsense metaphysics might be occurring.

Jon: So what you're saying is that if you got sucked through a portal and landed on an Earth where dinosaurs were still the predominant species, you wouldn't consider yourself to be an alien?

Martin: Nope!

Jon: I'm certain that they would consider you an alien. All of their mammals are probably shrew sized.

Martin: Sounds like a them problem.

Jon: Sounds like a-?! You know what, no, this will be an off the record debate, for now, I suppose I concede that the two Earths and our physiologies are similar enough that we might, maybe, not count as aliens.

Martin: Thank you. Anyway, our next question is from anonymous, and asks, "Is all of this an ARG?"

Jon: A whomst?

Martin: Alternate reality game. It's a method of storytelling that's interactive with audience, and usually has, I dunno, a certain suspension of disbelief to it where it pretends to be something actually happening in the real world until a dramatic reveal. A lot times it was used as a marketing gimmick, but others have done it just for fun. I can show you some examples after the show?

Jon: So it's in essence a more involved creepypasta?

Martin, delighted: Aw, babe, I'm never going to have a handle on what pop culture you are and aren't aware of, huh?

Jon: We were born within a year of each other, and I've told you that I was a deeply morbid teenager, you should probably be able to intuit some of things, love.

Martin: This coming from a man who has yet to see "It's a Wonderful Life", but has seen every film in the "Banjo Cannibals" franchise, including the Easter special. Jesus doesn't exist in the Banjo Cannibals universe, why does it have an Easter special?

Jon: The movies are rather shoddily translated from Russian, so I'm fairly certain the Easter component of that special was invented wholesale in the English version.

Martin: You say that like it answers more questions than it raises.

Jon: Yes, because it does. Oh, and to answer anonymous's question, no, this isn't an ARG. From my understanding of it, if it were, it'd be a poorly constructed one, as there's no real game element to any of this.

Martin: Hmm. Well, sometimes the game component is just trying to figure out what's going on with the story, or if there's any deeper content, and people are definitely doing that with this show.

Jon: That's not by design though. It's more a side effect of us having poor brain to mouth filters, I'd say.

Martin: Harsh, but fair. Oh, this next one is from Zac, no K, who asks, "Are you two actually even married?"

Jon, flat: We are, but it's under false names because this whole thing is an elaborate insurance scam.

Jon, incredulous: Yes, obviously, we're married. What did you hear in this podcast that would make you wonder otherwise, and how do we rectify it?

Martin: Clearly we need to up our quota for how "disgustingly in love" and "horrifically sappy" we are per episode. Which segues nicely into the next question from Gwen, "What's your favourite wonderful thing you've brought so far?" My answer: my husband. He's kind of my favourite in most things, you know?

Jon: Boooooo

Martin: Why, what's your favourite thing?

[Jon reluctantly sighs]

Jon, indulgent: being married.

Martin: A: serves you right for trying to pretend you're the less horrifically sappy and romantic one even though earlier today someone put a love note in the lunch they packed for me-

Jon:- Lies and slander! I have never, in my life, done that, even once.

Martin: Oh, sure, not even once. And you definitely don't reserve the lilac sticky notes specifically for my lunches because you know I like the colour.

Jon: I..I don't.. you're rather ruining my image here.

[Martin snorts]

Martin: Can't have the audience think that you are, on occasion, an incredibly doting husband-

Jon: -A title I would argue we both share-

Martin: - which is obviously why, even with it being your favourite thing you've brought, being married to me is just a small wonder-

Jon, audibly rolling his eyes: As I already explained-

[A Pause}

Jon: Actually, you're right-

Martin: Wait-

Jon:- I really should have brought it as a larger wonder-

Martin: Wait-

Jon: though I should warn you, I think I'd have far too much material for just one little segment-

Martin: No no no no no-

Jon:- In fact, I think I might have too much material for just one little episode-

Martin: Joo-oon-

Jon: I might have to do a whole series! Where would I even start? I mean I could talk about how every day I get to watch the early morning sun highlight your curls when I get up first, or hear you quietly humming and shuffling around the kitchen when you do, or I could talk about how the lunch notes only started in the first place as retaliation to the notes you would leave on the mirror for me to find, or how every time I get to see you at ease in a way that you aren't with anyone else, it takes my breath away, or I could talk about how cute I find the lines between your eyebrows that you only get when you're thinking something petty, but you know it's petty so you don't want to say anything-

Martin: Okay, okay, Christ, I give !up I surrender, and will cease my teasing on this particular topic.

Jon, probably making the :3 face: You don't have to stop. I mean, I could also discuss how very, very attractive I find your voice when it takes on a teasi-mmph!

[There's a pleased hum, then a pause.]

[The audio quality is slightly changed, as if the recording has been stopped and then started later]

Martin, giddy: Uh, heh, anyway, Eric asked what the least favourite thing we've brought was, and because of Jon's attempt to embarrass me live-

Jon, overlapping: It's definitely not live-

Martin:- on air, I'm gonna say it's my husband.

[Jon scoffs]

Jon : If the past few minutes are any sort of indication, I'm going to go ahead and saying that you are lying.

Martin, sighing contentedly: Maybe a bit, but how was I supposed to resist when your indigance gives you that adorable little nose scrunch? In reality, my least favourite thing was probably, um, mini golf? Which, I still don't think is inherently bad, definitely superior to regular golf, but when it's the only thing a next door two year old wants to do with you, the charm begins to wear off a bit.

Jon: Wow. A rather scathing review of a toddler.

Martin: Not so much a scathing review of a toddler as it's a scathing review of minigolf's inability to keep its appeal after the third time in the same week.

Jon: Mmm, the sound effects rather quickly go from part of the atmosphere to part of the irritation, don't they?

Martin: So what's your least favorite thing we've covered here?

Jon: Oh, love, I'm not going to pretend to have nearly enough memory of what we've covered so far to have a least favorite.

Martin: Really? Nothing that you regret or rescind?

Jon: Well, regret, certainly. It was one of the weeks where you went first, and your second item was mutual aid funds, and what they can do for marginalized communities, and I had to follow it with fucking Slapchop.

Martin, poorly suppressing laughter: In your defence, Slapchop, or whatever offbrand we have, is pretty useful, especially when either your scar or my arthritis is acting up.

Jon: I'm still not convinced you didn't somehow see my notes for the recording and decided you get revenge for the first year that we knew each other.

Martin, no longer suppressing his laughter: Yep, you got me! This marriage wasn't an act of insurance fraud, but it was a near decade long con to humiliate you on a podcast that about twenty people listen to. I'll draft up the divorce papers immediately, and then we can finally go our separate ways.

Jon: I'm glad you've at last admitted it. Such a weight off of my shoulders. Goodbye forever then.

Martin: Right.

Jon: Right.

[A beat.]

[There's a pfft from one of them, before both dissolve into giggles that lasts a good 30 seconds.]

Martin, slightly out of breath: I can't believe we're the kind of people that talk this much about speciality kitchen gadgets.

Jon: Sorry about that.

Martin: God, don't apologize. I'm, like, deliriously happy with our varying degrees of useful cooking ware filled life. If you had told 25 year old me that one day he'd be debating the merits of getting a tortilla press with his husband, he'd have wept, I tell you.

Jon: Funny, if you told 25 year old me the same thing, he would've said "You don't know the future,piss off" and then quietly have a bit of a panic at 3 am that night.

Martin: I bet you were insufferable in your mid-twenties.

Jon: First of all, who isn't, secondly, I was fresh out of Oxford, and third, I was insufferable in my late twenties, as you can attest to, and I'm insufferable now, as you can further attest to, so extrapolation would indicate that, yes, I was insufferable back then.

Martin: Probably a different kind of insufferable, though.

Jon: There are different kinds?

Martin: Of course! You used to be "prick boss" insufferable and now you're "smug in a way that I can't admit I find hot or it will go straight to your head" insufferable.

Jon, in the aforementioned smug tone: Oh, really?

Martin: See, see! Straight to your head.

Jon: Well straight is probably the wrong descriptor-

Martin: Oof, 4 out of 10 joke, babe.

Jon: That would be a far more convincing rating if you weren't grinning right now.

Martin: It's a genuine review, I'm just well known to be a sucker.

Jon: You and me both, darling.

Martin: Okay, if you're pulling out darling, you're clearly in too giddy of a mood to be focused on recording. Last question, from Jess, "You two mentioned meeting at work, but how did you actually end up together?" That's easy, Jon pulled me out of a hell dimension and then we went on the lam together to Scotland.

Jon: If that's not the way to tell a cute boy you like him, I don't know what is.

Martin: All right, that wraps up this bonus episode, and as the old saying goes, hiding from murderers in a cottage is more conducive to romance than suggesting you gouge out your eyes together.

Jon, cut off: Hey-!

#tma #jonmartin #jon sims #martin blackwood #post canon #wonderful! au #my fic

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enhyupn · 3 years

Text

the perfect date! chapter one

masterlist | next

a series in which enhypen’s 02s competitive side shines through when trying to get your attention. the only solution to end this tiring rivalry? three dates with each of them in the course of three weeks.

paring: 02s x gn!reader

word count: 3k

genre: fluff, angst, high school!au, someone’s gonna end up heartbroken

warnings: swearing, violence is mentioned

ask to be on taglist, updates are irregular

a/n i literally had to dig this out of my drafts so i don’t even know myself what i’ve written PLSSS

taglist: @dchannie17 @simluvbot @jaeyuni @neocrush

falling in love at the age of twelve wasn’t what you were expecting while learning basic algebra. being heartbroken at the age of thirteen while reciting shakespeare was also not as expected. the cause of both of these unforgettable moments? park jongseong, or otherwise known as jay to almost everyone around you. your first love was something that stuck with you, even in the present. he was your seat mate in three of your classes and the person you would ask for the homework right before it’s due date. it was a one sided crush, it was quite obvious to you. he was popular, sporty and incredibly talkative, you were one out of maybe twenty people that had a huge bulging crush on him.

at age fourteen you vowed to forget about him, the previous year he had moved to america to improve his english abilities which had put you in a miserable mood for almost all of your middle school life. who else was supposed to give you the math homework? how were you supposed to feel excited to go to school when jay wasn’t going to be there? your barely-a-teen mindset made you think you were never going to get over him.

flashing forward to freshmen year of high school, new school, new class and a clean slate to basically pretend you were a completely different person. no more being dependent on other people! no more trying to do anything to get friends! no more—

“hi, my name’s jake” oh boy.

and that’s how jake sim entered your life. it was his australian accent peaking through his words as he flashed you an energetic smile that pulled you in. you could of fallen for him at that instance, well you could of fallen for him throughout your years of friendship but the returning thought of your first love entirely stopped that process. jake sim was like a breath of fresh air, he was everywhere you went and had your back for everything.

you were his best friend and you thought of him like one too, you two were practically glued to one another. of course you had side comments, gossip that the two of you were dating or one of you two had an one sided crush (the latter part of that sentence we aren’t going to get that much into) but it didn’t make you two feel awkward or anything like that. with jake you almost forgot about jay (algebra and shakespeare being the things that stimulates the memory of him). although it wasn’t like jake was a rebound, you think yourself you’ve felt happier when you were around jake. i mean jake’s definitely popular, rivalling jay’s popularity in middle school even. if you asked anyone in your school who they’ve had a crush on, jake sim is number one on that list. he had some type of air around him, always being incredibly positive, he quite literally radiated the colour yellow. maybe you had a type when it came to people you associated with.

the close second on that list was maybe the complete opposite to jake in terms of their public image to the school. park sunghoon was the class president in your class. academically gifted, popular with the female population in your school, a talented figure skater, a stereotypical cold and distant beauty, there were a lot of layers to sunghoon. you personally had never really talked to him, the only time being when he had dropped papers on the ground in the hallways, maybe a few months ago. you helped him pick them up before carrying them with him to the teacher’s staff room. even then, you two had barely shared any words during that whole incident besides a “thank you”.

still, you could say you respected sunghoon. i mean who could have the energy to do his whole schedule besides him? you definitely could not. plus the way he was one of the most popular bachelors added to his busy schedule. the most recent valentine’s day was the proof as well as it was record breaking in your terms of your classes history with the day. having jake and sunghoon meant there were a lot of people trying to confess their feelings entering your classroom. last year, jake was stopped twenty three times the whole day, beating out sunghoon’s twenty sudden confessions. this year, there a sudden decline in jake’s confessions, a whopping three people only expressing their feelings desperately to him as he politely declined. sunghoon’s number rose by about ten people, expected but still a little shocking.

it wasn’t like the two of them cared about it, the only thing they did care about though was being polite when rejecting people. you couldn’t really sympathise with jake or sunghoon whenever they had to prepare yet another rejection, the only confession you’ve received being from yoon hyunsuk that was quite awkward considering he was a family friend and you saw him almost every week after you had rejected him.

anyways, returning to present time where you were doing your regular daily routine for a weekday. it always went waking up way too early, under eating breakfast in hopes to get the bus on time, meeting jake on the bus, walking to class with him and trying to not fall asleep in the middle of math class. it started off completely normal, maybe a little too normal.

“did you hear?” jake whispered in your ear. the two of you were supposed to individually practice questions but the chattery side of jake honestly got the best of him at moments like these.

“what is it?” you reply back quietly.

“a transfer student is coming in after lunch ends, one from america” now that really got your attention. you turn to him with your eyes wide in surprise, curiosity taking over you completely as you ignore the difficult question in front of you.

“did you see them?” jake couldn’t help but feel the sudden heat rush to his face as your sparkling eyes met his. “how do you even know this?”.

“ryujin told me plus, i saw a bit of him at the principal’s office” you looked behind him, trying to get a glimpse of the mentioned girl. the concentrated look on her face as she tried to solve the maths problem was evidence to you that she hadn’t heard her name being mentioned by jake. “said something about bleached hair that was definitely going to get the teachers mad”.

“now you got me excited” your small smile only sending butterflies to his stomach. you turn your head back down to face the still blank piece of paper, deciding that it was about time you started on that question.

“y’know he kinda looked familiar” the questioning tone in jake’s voice caught your attention, turning back to him in confusion.

“what do you mean?” a pout formed on your face. more confusion took over your face when you realised jake looked away from you quite fast, his ears turning a slight shade of pink.

“i— i don’t know” he silently cursed himself for letting himself fall deeper into his one sided crush from only small moments. his sudden black mind caused him to forget what he was meant to say to you, only leaving you puzzled by his words.

jake sitting opposite to you as you ate your unsettlingly warm sandwich, was really the only thing really going on during lunch that say. although weirdly enough, park sunghoon’s glances and staring was a new addition to your lunch time. even without directly looking at him, you could feel his eyes as they dug into the back of your head.

“you know you can relax, sunghoon’s not gonna bite you” jake commented on your stiffness. you bit your lip anxiously when you realised how loud he was being, not wanting sunghoon to know he was currently the topic of conversation between the two of you.

“if you speak any louder he might hear you” you angrily whispered to his face as you rolled your eyes. the boy chuckled before placing a small ball of rice into his mouth.

“he won’t idiot” jake tells you with maybe little too much confidence. you noticed that sunghoon had looked away from you abruptly, his cheeks visibly reddening as he faced his desk. “oh”.

“why are you like this?” you expressed you concerns. jake shrugged his shoulders, not understanding where you were coming from. “i should be excited for the new student, not trying to tame you from embarrassing our class president!”, your voice lowering at the last few words.

“i think he wants to tell you something”

“i think i want you to shut up” you muttered and you took another bite from your sandwich, wincing at the warm tomato and soggy lettuce that came into contact with your mouth.

jake was about to fire back but was only stopped by your phone violently vibrating on the table. your eyes widen in embarrassment as you frantically tried to get to it. you turn your phone to look at the screen, a notification telling you someone was calling you. jake tried to take a peek at your phone, only abandoning the plan when he saw you glare at him.

“hey yeojin” a small smile forming on your lips when reciting your middle school friend’s name. im yeojin was your best friend up until high school when her parents made her go to an all girls boarding school instead of your co-ed high school. she hated it so much when it was initially brought up by them but from the looks of it now, she’s actually enjoying herself. yeojin was the only person, excluding jake, that ever knew about your crush on jay. jake found out when the two of you were looking through old middle school pictures, you pointed at jay in a class photo and that’s the story on how jake knows about jay’s existence. “what’s up?”.

“i’m not supposed to be on my phone” her voice was frantic. you knew from her many, many letters that her school was strict when it came to personal phones. she was only allowed it everyday for thirty minutes during lunch on the weekdays, three hours on the weekends. “but, i have some exciting news for you”.

“what is it?” jake could see your eyes glisten in curiosity. he chuckled to himself as he placed his chin in his palm, his full attention being placed onto you.

“guess”

“i can’t believe you’re doing this right now” you squinted in annoyance at her playfully attitude.

“i was kidding” yeojin’s contagious laugh caught up to you, making it look like you forgot about her joke on you. “but you know how you’re old instagram account got deleted because of—”

“don’t say it” you interrupted through gritted teeth. jake laughed loudly at your reaction, catching the attention of sunghoon yet again.

“anyways, and you basically lost all of our middle school classes handles?”

“yes, i remember it all a little too well” embarrassment laced through your words as you remembered the never-to-be-mentioned-again memory.

“anyways so jay...” your eyes lit up at the mention of his name, an unsettling feeling in jake’s stomach appearing due to your expression. “he’s back!”.

“he’s back?” you stood up from your seat in surprise. your class looked at you in concern before you apologised as you embarrassing lowered yourself down to your seat. “you’re not kidding me right?”.

“why would i lie?” you could feel yeojin’s eyes rolling through the phone. “oh shit, patrol’s back. gotta go, i’ll send a letter soon—”

jake watched as you ended the call staying seated with your eyes widened, unable to process what had happen. you couldn’t pinpoint any of the emotions you were feeling, were you happy? anxious? scared? you had no clue. you bite your lip, hoping the action can help your blank mind.

“so—”

“is this 3-A?” a loud voice entering the class interrupted jake, causing the boy to sigh out of frustration.

you turned your head in the direction. you felt yourself shake in more shock when you realised who the person at the entrance was, and from the way they looked back at you, he realised who you were to. you abruptly looked away, facing the window on your left with your face burning up as you held up a hand to cover your face.

jake’s puzzled expression took over his face before putting the pieces together. his heart was beating at such a fast rate that he felt breathless, he didn’t think he was at all ready to see his crush’s first love entering their own classroom.

he watched as sunghoon did his usual mannerly class president thing, standing up from his seat all professional and kind before making his way to jay with an open hand for him to shake.

“hello, you’re earlier than expected” sunghoon smiled, unsure if it was genuine or not due to the fact the boy in front of him didn’t even acknowledge his presence. he dropped his hand before letting out a quiet irritated sigh, trying to figure out what he had his eyes on.

even with sunghoon’s growing annoyed expression, jay’s eyes were still trained on you. it was like you were frozen, no muscle in your body allowed you to move as you blankly stared outside the window. the only thing moving was your eyes shutting completely as you felt footsteps coming your way, instantly knowing who it belonged to.

“y/n” a cheery voice made it’s way to jay’s words.

sunghoon raised an eyebrow at the two of you, not entirely following this whole situation. how did he know you? why did you seem so embarrassed? bashful even? and why was jake staring at jay like he just killed his family?

“j-jay hey, y-you’re back” you finally turned your head, however still unable to look at him in the eyes. jay chuckled at the way you tripped over your words, memories of the two of you from middle school playing in his head. he glanced down beside you, the empty seat almost begging him to sit there.

you almost feel yourself jump into your seat when you noticed jay was pulling back the chair beside you as he prepared himself to sit down. at this point jake’s face was visibly red, glaring at jay for reasons that cannot be exactly explained and sunghoon’s feet had even brought him all the way to your desk meaning he had a full view of this whole mess. you four had the whole classes attention, even with some whispering to each other about you.

“it’s been a while” jay smiled through his words as he sat down, his position facing you as you struggled to make eye contact. you could feel yourself sweating from the unbearable heat coming from your cheeks, your head still blank unable to think properly.

“you two know each other?” sunghoon asked curiously as he placed his hand on his hip. you don’t know why but you cursed sunghoon silently in your head for asking that question, the thought of jay telling him you were only his friend pained you.

“yeah, middle school classmates” jay finally acknowledged the boy’s presence. sunghoon nodded in reply as he scanned your expression, unable to understand how you were feeling. “i had— i can’t say it it’s too embarrassing actually” jay rubbed his neck embarrassingly before turning away in embarrassment, only for his eyes to meet jakes.

“no, carry on” jake’s few words came out as a little passive aggressive but didn’t particularly offend jay in any way. it was quite obvious to everyone but you that jake was being a little jealous, possessive maybe from the way he glared at jay and sunghoon, who frankly didn’t really do anything up until this point.

“oh okay...” jay didn’t know why he felt nervous. maybe it was cause jake couldn’t keep his glare off of him or he was about to regret his next few words. “i had the biggest crush on y/n”.

now that got your attention. with wide eyes your eyes made contact with his at last, his cheeks were tinted pink and he had a bashful smile spread across his lips. you could even see jake in the corner of your eyes closing his mouth as he tried to recover from the shock. while sunghoon, who was right behind jay, looked like he wasn’t completely over the shocking revelation.

“i—” you felt speechless. this was the first time you’ve heard anything about this, you didn’t even think you were ever going to hear those words. you once again tried to open your mouth in an attempt to reply but was just met with nothing.

“they didn’t like me back though” jay continued. you looked at him like he was crazy, your eyebrows raised with confusion taking over your face.

“but i—”

“y/n can we talk....” jake’s voice interrupting your soon to be confession as he stared at you with a serious expression. you turned to him, once again not fully processing this whole situation. “...outside the classroom?”.

you glanced back to jay who looked visibly irritated, rolling his eyes as he ran his fingers through his hair. sunghoon just stood behind him, staring at jake with what looked to be some sort of fear. letting out a sigh, you stood up from your seat as you looked jake in the eyes.

“let’s go outside jake” you were slightly thankful for his sudden request due to you not wanting to be stuck in that suffocating environment. you watched as he stood up from his seat, his expression changing into quite an anxious one.

the curiosity didn’t leave you as you followed jake out of the classroom, you even heard your classmates whisper to each other as you passed them. you didn’t even want to look back to see the face of jay, you had ended your long awaited reunion short just to go talk to your best friend by the staircase. jake glanced around the area to make sure nobody was there to listen to what he had to say.

“thanks for getting me out of there—”

“i like you” those three words almost made you faint on the spot.

was it time to wake up now?

#enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen fluff #enhypen x reader #enhypen headcanons #enhypen timestamps #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fanfiction #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff

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ecrivant · 3 years

Text

tendresse | reiner braun

(reiner braun x reader)

a.n. – dude! you just posted tender, slice-of-life aot cringe!

in the woods, away from the world, you and reiner take a moment to yourselves to just exist; a tender respite in the eye of the storm. emotional catharsis, a consideration of what could have been.

takes place during the marley arc, right after reiner’s confession at the campfire, but there are no spoilers. reader is gender neutral.

word count: 1.4k

He sat alone, away from their temporary settlement, swallowed by trees and the oppressive nocturne which had long since appropriated the respite of the campfire in which the group dined. Yards away, Warriors and the Paradisians together in repose—both groups, two-sided coins, unaware that their flipside lay in each other’s own counterpart. He listened to their stirring bodies—their restlessness, indistinguishable. The wind’s steady respiration rustled the trees, and his eyes, sensitive from the prolonged darkness, made out moving branches against the moonlit sky. The relentless ether, pitch-dark but not void, hung precariously above the canopy, threatening to crush anything beneath it if its suspension happened to fail. Perhaps he wished for such a swift end, one where everyone was stripped of their agency and had no choice but to submit and relinquish their will. Only if it were that simple.

“Reiner?”

The sounds of footfalls against the detritus. Each step, a tightening of the vise. You extended a hand to touch his shoulder, trembling digits meeting tense muscles. His name, again, left your lips in a whisper. He wouldn’t turn to look at you. Or couldn’t.

His eyes stayed on the ground as you collapsed beside him, legs giving into exhaustion. Despite everything, your auras still emitted a warmth the two of you could quietly share. Neither spoke.

An image materialized: one of you and Reiner, blithely inebriated after sneaking into the superiors’ liqueur stash, seated atop a once-virescent knoll, now bathed in the pitch of night. Another moment shared in silence from years before. You frowned at your memory’s disquieting betrayal.

“I don’t know how much more I can apologize.”

“Please, don’t.” He finally turned to look at you. The contours of your profile, tenebrous and barely there, the same he impressed upon himself years ago and returned to during all the sleepless nights in Marley, were still intoxicating. Your brow, furrowed in frustrated thought.

You continued, eyes facing forward, “I’m tired of hating you. I just want a moment without brooding.”

Reiner nodded. He, more than anyone, wished for a moment free of the merciless despondency.

The groundcover rustled as you moved to sit in front of him. Your eyes, pupils blown wide, bore into his. He felt read by you, self-conscious under your gaze, but refused to look away. Your hand came to rest against his cheek, a touch that held all your unvoiced tenderness and compassion and betrayed your ocular intensity. He severed your eye contact to close his eyes and feel—feel the warmth of your palm burning onto his frigid skin, feel the memories of your timid touch. A quivering whisper, cracked:

“It’ll all be over soon, Reiner. Then we can rest.”

Your words hung in the air, but you allowed the moment to move around you, through you, eventually taking your words with it.

Different circumstances, and he would have married you. He regretted the thought.

“Why do you care so much about me?” he asked quietly, moving beneath your touch.

Your sternum imploded, winding you. The prickle of tears bloomed in your sinuses, spilling over before you could compose yourself.

His eyes opened, half-lidded, as your hand pulled away from his face. He saw your lips parted in shock, quivering.

“Why do I care?” A ragged query, laced with tears.

Reiner looked at you with clouded eyes, and you pulled him into your arms, desperate. You sobbed into his shoulder, and you cried for him. He sat unmoving before he eventually held you back, wrapping his arms around your form. He felt grateful you couldn’t see his tears but then wondered why—in cathartic surrender, he allowed a sob to reverberate through his body, and then another, and soon his form gave way to violent palpitations that caused you to grip onto him tighter. He wished, consumed by a twisted machoism, for this to last forever—to be held by you, flayed open and made raw, basking in your shared heartache and effusions. This was pain he could endure eternally.

He was pulled back to the present as you murmured something, quiet ululations swallowed by your gasping breaths and tears: I love you, said over and over again like an ephemeral mantra rather than a confession. Words that Reiner had unrelentingly fought against, suppressed; words that threatened to self-articulate and spill forth in the quiet interstices you shared, late at night, tucked away from the soldiers’ barracks; in the moments walking to and from the dining room at HQ; in the moments where you would laugh and his chest would swell and his face would flush and he would want nothing more than to take you into his arms and hold you; in the moments of silence pervaded by things unsaid.

Now, in this moment, he loathed himself for not saying anything, for not being the first to say it. To have exacerbated the torment of his betrayal in exchange for a few blissful moments of ignorance where you loved blindly and unabashedly—would it have been worth it? Cruelly, selfishly, he wished he had done it. He would have taken those moments to the grave.

Your lips, still engaged in a distraught glossolalia, ghosted along his neck, voltaic, jolting him out of his ruminative daze. He pulled away from you.

“Can I kiss you?”

His shaky whisper, boyish and innocent, silenced you. You were faced with a younger Reiner—the subtly shy cadet who once carefully asked to hold your hand as he snuck you away from the grounds—and felt your heart seize. Why couldn’t it always have been this way?

Your noses bumped as you leaned in. The kiss was callow, both of you unsure of how to move against the other. Reiner’s hands still rested on your shoulders and yours remained in your lap. Awkwardly immobile. He pulled away, and you were both smiling, flushed, teenage. Even in the dark, his worry lines seemingly dissipated; you wish you had appreciated his youthful features years ago.

He closed his eyes again, surrendering to bliss as your soft fingers traced the contours of his face. Up and down the bridge of his nose, along his lips, over his eyelashes; your lips shadowed your touch, softly kissing the tip of his nose, the side of his mouth, his eyes, one by one. Delicacy that would never see the waking hours, instead confined to private moments in the obscurity of night—you both silently and implicitly acknowledged there was no room for tenderness in a world so inhospitable.

“We would be married,” he began. Realizing what he was doing, your heart clenched, eyes begging him to stop—but Reiner wanted to indulge. Emotional machoism.

“And we would have a home by the sea.” His resolve fractured—his voice began to shake.

“Reiner, please—"

“We could grow old together, and,” he paused, swallowing the tremor in his words, “we could even have a kid or two, if you wanted.”

You couldn’t look at him. To speak of dreams was linguistic torture, mental contamination: the vocalization and deception of an aching beauty, a deceptive chimera.

“I would love you until there was nothing left.”

He grasped your digits, begging you to imagine it with him. Your eyes shut. The rhythm of undulating tides and the crash of waves, the scent of saline breeze. Reiner on the beach, his fair hair full of sand and bright against the unbroken azure of the sky and the sea. The warmth of the sun against your complexion, caressed.

The cruelty of reverie.

You sat together, awake, until the dim morning light edged over the horizon. The blue dawn, cool and encroaching, enveloped the woods in an ethereal glow. Fog hung low, and as the blue gave way to golden light, rays cut through the haze and the trees, collecting around you. Reiner’s creased features returned, but his gaze remained soft. You looked at him, intense as always, and saw him plead. You respired slowly, focused on your beating heart, and apologized. Neither of you knew exactly why.

The others began to rise. The coals of last night’s fire were grey ash, crushed and scattered underfoot. You and Reiner blinked tears out of your eyes, sharing one last look, before joining the rest of the group.

—

wow! reiner simps rise up! thank you so much for reading this piece! i legitimately think reiner has some of the most compelling character development ever + he’s hot, so who better to write something for?

i haven’t written anything, much less fanfiction, in a very long while, so things are probably real rusty. feedback and constructive criticism are always welcome but also… please be nice to me. i have a very weak emotional constitution. also, i honestly think i fell back into writing because aot s4 is getting to me and i need a place to process shit. hope you enjoy a live view of my mental degradation. feel free to shoot me a request for a piece here!

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan imagine #aot imagines #aot x reader #reiner braun #reiner braun x reader #reiner braun x you #reiner braun imagine #reiner x reader #writing!

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heliads · 3 years

Text

Into Thin Air

Newt doesn’t know what to think after Y/N disappears one night in the Scorch. She’s nowhere to be found, until a few weeks later she shows up with the girls from Group B. The only problem is that she can’t remember who Newt is, and all Newt can remember is how much he loves her.

masterlist

Newt sits alone, staring out at the desolate desert before him. He’s hidden from view, sheltered by a craggy outcropping, but the protection does little to settle the turmoil of thoughts lurking inside his head. The sound of footsteps approaches behind him, but Newt doesn’t have to turn his head to recognize his friend.

Minho stoops and sits down a few feet away. Newt glances at him. It’s strange- all of Newt’s memories of his life before the Maze have been stripped away, leaving behind only his time trapped within those walls. Minho is his best friend, but Newt can’t help but wonder if he had other friends, before all of this started. Before he was imprisoned in the Maze, before they escaped WICKED and stuck themselves in the desert. Did he have friends before that? Would it really matter if he did, anyway? If they’re not dead by now, they will be soon.

But he has Minho, and that’s enough. Minho’s been his friend for a long time. Newt hasn’t really known anyone for that long, or grown that close, except maybe Alby. Even the thought of the guy makes Newt’s throat burn. He’d known the guy forever, even been his second in command for all that time in the Maze. Newt can still picture Alby’s face in the back of his mind, that look of determination just before the Griever snatched him away. They’ve lost so many people. Alby, and Chuck, and Winston, and-

Newt can’t quite bring himself to finish the sentence.

Distantly, Newt realizes that Minho is still there, and staring out over the same horizon Newt had been studying a few minutes ago. At last, the other boy speaks. “We’re going to find her, you know? There’s no way we won’t.” Newt sighs. “We don’t know if she’s out there anymore. Or if she’s even somewhere we can find.”

Minho shakes his head, resolute. “She has to be somewhere. They wouldn’t take her just to kill her when nobody is watching.” Newt opens his mouth to argue, but Minho holds up a hand and continues speaking. “WICKED had to have taken her. She would never have left any of us, and definitely not you. Besides, we went to sleep with her right next to us, and woke up to her gone. No footprints, no tracks, no nothing. If she had left on her own accord, we would have seen a trail leading away, but there was just blank sand. It’s like she never even existed. Does that sound like some girl who’s sick of us and wanted to leave, or like WICKED wanted to send a message?”

Newt’s heard Minho’s attempt to soothe his worries a couple of times now, but he still plays along. “What message would WICKED want to send instead of just taking all of us? If they have the ability to get her, what’s stopping them from completing the job and getting all of us back?” Minho jabs a finger in the air, ready to prove his point. “They want to scare us, make us think that WICKED’s way more powerful than we’ll ever be. If they pick us off one by one, they’re hoping that we’ll come back to them easily instead of them having to chase us down. Less damage to the subjects if they return of their own free will, right?”

Newt chuckles quietly. “If they were interested in keeping their subjects in the best condition they wouldn’t have put us through the bloody Maze in the first place. They would have stuck to inkblots and blood tests like any other reasonable doctor.” Minho grins. “Hey, who said they were reasonable? They just don’t want us killed off before they get the chance to do it themselves.”

In spite of himself, Newt feels a smile growing on his face. “Alright, alright. I’ll stop moping. Are we heading out soon?” Minho stands, clapping his friend on the back as he leaves the outcropping. “In a few minutes. Thomas thinks the Right Arm reinforcements should be in the mountains just a mile or so down. We’re almost there.”

The Right Arm. Thomas seems convinced that the people of the Right Arm can help them, and save the Gladers from inevitable deaths at the hands of WICKED. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense- use a shadowy, mysterious organization to escape another mysterious organization? At least the Right Arm isn’t known for running death tests on teenagers. That’s already a bonus.

The path to the mountains is dangerous, but to be honest, what part of their journey hasn’t been dangerous? Newt thinks it’s going fine, that although the terrain isn’t the best they’re at least making progress, and then the bullets start to ring out. Instantly, everyone panics and starts to hurtle toward whatever cover they can scrounge up in the desert, cowering as gunfire rains down around them. From the corner of his eye, Newt sees a couple of figures emerge from the mountains, faces hidden and weapons drawn.

Newt shoves Thomas and Minho to get their attention, and they start to come out with their hands drawn. Three figures stand before them, weapons pointed at them. Newt scans their faces, but he doesn’t recognize the first one, or the next. It’s only when his gaze falls upon the last of the three, on the figure standing farthest away, that he feels his heart freeze in his chest.

It’s not her. It couldn’t possibly be her. But yet-

Before he even knows what he’s doing, Newt is stepping away from the protective cover of the car, away from his friends, and towards the third figure. He can see Thomas and Minho extending their arms to pull him back, but they’re moving slowly, as if coming from far away. All that matters now is the girl before him, the girl with those all-too-familiar eyes that are now glaring at him in fear.

Newt’s voice comes cracked and quiet in the space at the foot of the mountains. “Y/N?” The girl levels her gun at him. “Who are you, and how do you know my name?” Newt stumbles, thrown by less by her threatening tone of voice and more the words that she’s just said. “Y/N? Why don’t you-” Hie voice breaks off into silence. Minho and Thomas are next to him now, and all Newt can do is stare at the girl in front of him. “Why doesn’t she know who I am?”

The other two figures are by Y/N’s side in an instant, the two pairs of three staring at each other. The tension builds and builds until finally the first of the figures glances away, at the other boy walking up to them. “Aris?” Suddenly, the hostility vanishes, and the figures are pulling away their face coverings to reveal the smiling faces of two girls. Aris turns back to them, clearly happy to see the girls. “This is Harriet and Sonya. They’re from Group B.” He addresses the Group B girls now: “They’re with me. They’re friends. They helped me escape from WICKED.”

Harriet and Sonya nod, but Newt just watches as the third girl hesitantly removes her own coverings. Sure enough, it’s Y/N. Harriet notices Newt’s stare and turns to his former friend. “Y/N, do you know these guys?” Y/N shakes her head. “I have no idea who they are, or how they know who I am.” Newt’s heart seems to drop in his chest. “What are you talking about? Y/N, I’ve known you for about a year, ever since you came into the Maze.”

Y/N’s eyes hold no recognition, no laughter, no light. She seems to have no idea who Newt is. “All I know is that I showed up one day alongside the Group B girls. They’ve been my family ever since.” She walks away, presumably to tell the people with guns to stand down. Newt is left alone with the words dying on his tongue: We were your family first.

Newt watches from a distance as his friends talk and laugh around him. They’re happy to have the Group B girls, who went through the Maze just like the Gladers did, and they’re relieved to have the protection of the Right Arm. Newt should be out there too, finally allowing himself to relax or at least have a good time, but he can’t quite muster up the energy to fake the smiles. Y/N doesn’t recognize him. That’s the only thing he has room to think about right now.

As if just thinking about the girl was a summoning, Newt turns to see a familiar figure walking away from the fire and coming to stand next to him. This picture, the two of them standing so close together, away from everyone else, is so painfully familiar that it hurts to know that she isn’t thinking of the connection they once shared. All Newt can think about is that he’s stood by her a hundred times, but all she can think about is that the boy next to her is a stranger, someone she’s never even seen before.

Y/N is the first to speak. “Is it true? Did you really- did you really know who I was?” Newt nods hollowly. “We first met when you arrived in the Maze. We were friends for a while, and-” He cuts himself off. He can’t talk about that, not right now. “And then we escaped, and you disappeared.” Y/N looks at the ground, at the fire, at her friends. Anywhere but him. “I have this strange feeling like I know who you are. Or I should, at least. But I can’t remember a single thing about you.” Newt stands silently, not trusting himself to speak.

Y/N turns to him at last, eyes burning into his own. He’s missed that look, that focus brushing across her brow. “Can you tell me what I was like? You know, in your Maze?” Newt sighs. “I’m not sure we could fit it into one night. You were there almost as long as I was, bordering on two years.” Y/N’s gaze is unrelenting. “Can you try?” Newt could never say no to her. Not in the Maze, and not now, when it’s just the two of them and he’s missed her so much. He clears his throat, and begins to speak.

“We were friends at first. Probably since the moment you showed up. You had this way of getting people to listen to you, even when the shanks were seconds away from tearing each other apart. There were only a few of us in the Maze, or at least at the beginning. You, me, Alby, and Minho. We were like a little family. I thought our friendship would last forever, and then other boys started showing up.”

Y/N frowns. “Did we fight or something?” Newt laughs ruefully. “No, we just- Well, I was kind of a shucking idiot myself. This one boy showed up, and he used to make me so angry. You’d be doing your job, not focusing on anything else, and then he’d come up and start talking to you. I didn’t know why it was bothering me so much, that he would be there for just a few seconds and the two of you would be laughing like you’d known each other all your lives, and then I realized after a while that it wasn’t him that annoyed me, it was that I was just jealous. Stupid, but jealous all along.”

“I kept it to myself, didn’t want to bother you. I didn’t realize you loved me until later.” Y/N looks up at him, mouth slightly tilted down into a frown. “But then what happened with you?” Newt smiles to himself. “I’d loved you all along. Don’t think I had much choice in the matter. Anyways, it took me a while to get up the courage, but I told you how I felt one night at the bonfire. I was nervous about it, but you just looked at me with this smile and I knew everything was going to be alright.”

Y/N’s smiling now. It’s strange, thinking of that night with this new Y/N next to him. She’s got the same expression on her face as the night Newt told her he loved her, and it cuts away at Newt that she could smile at him like that without remembering that night at all. Newt realizes he’s been staring too long, because Y/N gently nudges his arm. “Go on.” Newt looks away, fighting the shyness that suddenly overwhelmed him.

“We were happy, for a long time. We had months of uneventful life. Well, as uneventful as the Maze can be. Then Thomas and Teresa showed up, and the Maze doors didn’t close, and the Grievers attacked us all.” Newt’s eyes flicker shut as he remembers that night, remembering the tongues of flame spiraling over the buildings and the horrified looks of his friends. He can still hear the screaming, smell the coppery tang of blood like the scene was still being played out around him.

“We managed to escape. Not quite sure how. I don’t think I was scared for myself, more that you were going to die and I was going to have to live without you. When we first showed up at Janson’s building, I thought we were finally out and in the clear. We were so excited to have escaped and have a new life, one where we could actually relax and be just teenagers.” Newt’s voice twists into something bitter as he remembers how hopeful they’d been, and how quickly that hope had fallen apart, just like everything else that seemed to come their way.

“Then Janson turned out to be with WICKED, so we escaped. Took a while and a lot of running, but we made it out.” Newt falls silent, and Y/N tilts her head expectantly. “And then what?” Newt swallows unevenly, still feeling the pain and overwhelming heartache of that one specific night. “And then we were alone in the desert, all of us from the Glade who’d made it out plus Aris. We went down to sleep, late at night. You were right next to me. When I opened my eyes, you were gone.”

Newt looks away, fighting back the hot prick of tears threatening to appear at the corners of his eyes. “That was the worst part. You were right there, so close. There was no way you could have left without waking me. I knew you wouldn’t leave, so it had to be WICKED, but it still hurt. I was so worried that you’d died, or that they had dragged you back to their facilities and were experimenting on you-”

Newt can’t finish. Y/N nods, understanding. “And then you showed up to the mountains, and I had no idea who you were.” “Exactly.” Y/N sighs, leaning up against the rocky crag behind her. “I don’t know what to say. It all sounds familiar, but it just doesn’t sound like me. Are you sure that you’ve got the right girl?”

Newt nods. He’d know Y/N in a heartbeat, across the darkest night, anywhere. This girl is the one he loves, right down to that slight crease in her brow that she gets whenever she can’t figure something out. “I don’t know how to explain it. You are you, Y/N, and you’re the same girl I’ve been in love with since the Maze. You’re the same girl who always had a smile, even when things got dark, who yelled at the Builders but made friends with all the Greenies, who helped everyone survive the Maze because that’s just who you were.” Newt draws a ragged breath. “You’re the same Y/N who made me fall in love with you, and I’m not going to let any trick from WICKED convince me to let you go.”

Newt’s staring off into the darkness of the desert, but he turns with a start when he hears a slight noise from Y/N. He stares at her. She’s almost bent double in pain, hands clutching her head. He rushes over to her, helping her to the ground. “Y/N! Are you alright? What happened?” She just shakes her head, gritting her teeth through the pain. “I don’t know. You started talking, and I felt like I recognized something, and then my head started feeling like it was about to crack in two.”

She squeezes her eyes shut in agony, and her shoulders tense up in a spasm of anguish but then suddenly fall still. She lies on the ground, silent. Newt feels like his heart is in his throat. “Y/N? Can you hear me?” Her eyes open slowly, eyelashes fluttering in a dark frame around her eyes. She looks at him for a moment, then two, as if drinking in the sight of him. She reaches out a shaking hand to him, lightly touching his cheek. “Newt?” Her voice is quiet, as if she’s doubting herself, and then she breaks into a grin.

“Newt. Yes. I remember you.” All of Newt’s worries leave him in a rush, and he wraps his arms around her, pulling her close. “Y/N?” She nods, laughing slightly. “I remember everything. The Maze, the Gladers, you, everything.” She pulls back, smiling, so she can look in his eyes. “I don’t remember the part about you being in love with me from the start. You should have told me that earlier.” Newt chuckles, helping her stand. “I was trying to help you get your memories back. I’m sure it was just a dramatized detail.”

She flashes him a beaming glare. “I’m sure it was.” Newt can’t take his eyes off of her. “I was so worried, you know that? I was so worried that you’d left.” Y/N shakes her head. “I could never leave you. Not in a million years.” Newt lets himself smile again, and reaches out to lock his hand around hers. Y/N remembers him. The girl he loves is finally back once more.

#newt #newt imagine #newt x reader #newt imagines #newt oneshot #maze runner #maze runner imagine #maze runner x reader #maze runner imagines #maze runner oneshot

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vnderoos · 3 years

Text

potions and prats ✷ draco malfoy

(gif is not mine, credit to the owner) warnings / language word count / 2.7k

masterlist in bio ↴

Y/N HUFFED UNENTHUSIASTICALLY as she and a couple other Slytherins were the last to filter into Slughorn's lesson for the day and she dropped her leather bag on the floor beside her seat. Daphne Greengrass, her potion's partner as of late, flashed her a close-mouthed smile. She hadn't noticed it when she'd walked in, but Professor Slughorn must've brewed a potion for the day, because the whole room was filled with a familiar smell. "I reckon we've got an exciting lesson today," she hummed to the brunette as she took a seat beside her.

Daphne shrugged her shoulders and tucked a lock of her shiny, brown hair behind her ear. "If we haven't, at least it smells nice," she countered. "Like lemon and broom wax and steak dinners almost," she elaborated and she slumped against her hand, which was propped up on the table.

At that, Y/N's eyebrows knitted together, because that was not what she smelled. The room was flooded with the smell of pine trees, amongst other things, but those were the clearest to her. "What? Daph, that's completely—" she started to protest, to voice her confusion, but Professor Slughorn stood up from his desk and made his way towards a table in the center of the room, silencing all conversation as he did. Perhaps his lecture would clear up her confusion.

"Alright, everyone. I trust you're all doing well this afternoon," he greeted as he situated himself for everyone to see. Nods of agreement rippled through the classroom and he did the same. "Good, good. If you'll all do me a favor and gather round, please," he instructed, motioning towards the opposite side of the table with his hands, his fingers breaking through the steam from the potion that sat on top of it. Y/N and Daphne shared a curious look, before the two of them followed the rest of the class and stood up out of their seats. They joined the rest of the students in front of the table. "Can anyone tell me what this potion is?" Professor Slughorn questioned after everyone had settled in, and he eyed them all in anticipation. When nobody spoke up, he chuckled once. "This," he hummed, gesturing to the cauldron on the desk, "this is amortentia, the most powerful love potion in the world," he explained. "Sound familiar to anyone?"

Y/N's eyes drifted from Slughorn to the steaming cauldron as his question, because it did, in fact, sound familiar to her. She remembered reading about it in a book, which she'd long forgotten the name of, that she'd borrowed from the library in one of her previous years and she'd found it a little peculiar. She swallowed thickly, glancing around the room to see if anyone else was feeling inclined to answer, but when nobody did, she let her hand creep upwards slowly.

"And what do you know about amortentia, Miss Y/L/N?" Professor Slughorn asked, folding his hands in front of him as he encouraged her to speak and she smiled awkwardly.

"Well, like you said, it's the most powerful love potion in existence, and regardless of its title, it's unable to create actual love, only obsession. For that reason, it can be dangerous, because someone who holds a deep infatuation with another can be unpredictable," she explained, her eyes flickering around at all of her classmates. Some of them seemed interested, and others were looking elsewhere, but when her eyes landed on Draco Malfoy's, his direct eye contact made her shiver. Merlin. She averted her gaze quickly. "Supposedly, it smells different for everyone, too, as it's made to remind them of the things they're most attracted to, even if they're oblivious of their fondness for said things," she continued. Her eyes wandered over to Daphne, who was looking at her with raised eyebrows, probably realizing that the smell she'd described earlier was unique to her.

Y/N crossed her arms over her chest as she fell silent, waiting for Slughorn to continue his lesson, but before he could, Malfoy interrupted. "Fancy telling us what you smell, Y/L/N?" he asked, a smirk settled in on his pale pink lips, and she shot him a cross look. "That mean it's someone foul?" he added teasingly and Blaise Zabini chuckled softly from behind him.

She was about to tell him to bugger off, because Professor Slughorn piped up. "Actually, that's not a bad idea," he hummed, completely oblivious to the fact that Malfoy had only been pestering her, and he gestured towards the potion. "Why don't you come up and give it a sniff?" he asked.

She nodded at him with a smile and she advanced towards the table, throwing Malfoy another nasty look over her shoulder as she did, but he was entirely unfazed. She turned her attention towards the cauldron sitting on the table top and she leaned over it. The potion had a pearly shimmer to it and steam spiraled up out of the container. She closed her eyes to keep from getting distracted as she drew in a deep breath. She nodded and turned back towards the class. She started, pinning each scent to a memory in her brain, and she swallowed. It sort of smelled like the air after a day-long thunderstorm and old parchment, with hints of pine and expensive cologne. Her eyes darted towards Draco almost immediately, knowing that his smell was too distinct not to recognize, and her stomach dropped. He was looking back at her just as intensely, and he cocked an eyebrow. She tore her gaze off of him and spun back around towards Professor Slughorn. "I don't smell anything," she lied.

"Well, that's impossible. You must smell something," he explained, but she shook her head.

"Nope," she said, not unaware of a cold stare driving holes in the back of her head. "Nothing."

"That's quite peculiar," he said. "Anyone else want to give it a go, then?" he asked, and on Y/N's way back to her place beside Daphne, she didn't miss the way that Draco's eyes followed her every step.

✷ ✷ ✷

The rest of the day had come and gone since Slughorn's lesson and Y/N and Daphne had spent their time in the library, letting the sunlight fade and the students scatter. It wasn't until their curfew had nearly rolled around that they found themselves entering the Slytherin common room once again. "I didn't want to ask in front of everyone in the library, but who smells like lemon and broom wax?" Y/N piped up, her eyes adjusting to the soft green light of the dungeons as they walked in.

Daphne's eyes widened slightly and she grabbed Y/N's arm, stopping her in her tracks. "You've got to promise not to tell," she hummed, the girl's brown eyes darting around the room to make sure there was no other students in earshot. Y/N lifted her hand up and made a zipping emotion across her lips, turning an imaginary key and casting it aside. "I'm not sure yet, but I think it smelled like Blaise," she muttered quietly, despite the fact that everyone seemed to have been tucked inside their dorms already.

"No way," Y/N blurted, the boy in question flickering in her mind. "That explains the steak dinner thing, then, too," she added, referring to the way he'd taken Daphne to Hogesmeade to grab dinner that past weekend, and she laughed.

"Yeah, I just don't know if I should tell him. Maybe he smelled me, too, you know?" she speculated.

Y/N cocked an eyebrow at her. "Oh, he so did," she affirmed. "He couldn't keep his eyes off of you all class," she explained and she smiled slightly at the way her cheeks flushed red.

The girl shook her head softly, hopeful, but still in denial. Daphne's eyes fluttered over Y/N's shoulder and her eyebrows lifted. "You know, speaking of staring," she muttered, lowering her voice and jutting her chin out to the right of them. "Draco looks like he's trying to set you on fire with his mind," she teased, bringing her fingers up to her temples and narrowing her gaze dramatically.

"Salazar, we don't need to make ourselves so obviously aware, do we?" Y/N hissed softly. She grabbed both of Daphne's wrists and shoved them down quickly, sparing a quick glance over her shoulder to confirm that Draco was, in fact, glaring at her.

Daphne was giggling quietly to herself. "I knew he was going to want to talk to you eventually," she hummed triumphantly, tilting her chin up with confidence.

Y/N shot her a look. "How could you possibly—"

"You're gonna tell me that you don't know he fancies you?" Daphne cut her off, careful to keep her voice low, and Y/N's eyes blew wide. "I'm not buying it. He never leaves you alone," she elaborated.

"Are you crazy? I would welcome that, if it were true, but he hates me."

"He doesn't seek you out everyday to talk to bug you because he hates you, you git," Daphne said. "He doesn't even do that to Potter. I think he'll take any attention he can get from you," she explained, crossing her arms over her chest, and Y/N glanced back over at Draco.

Her eyes locked with his and a shiver travelled down her spine. Her lips parted and she turned back to Daphne. "You think he knows I smelled him?" she asked in a whisper, nerves starting to settle in her stomach, because now, all the times she'd caught him looking at her in class were starting to make sense.

Daphne shrugged. Her eyes darted back towards the blonde. "I think you're about to find out, though," she said. "I'll catch you back in the dorm and I expect to know everything," she added in a rushed whisper and Y/N barely had time to register that her friend was leaving, before she turned around and bumped straight into the last person she wanted to talk to at the moment.

A small gasp left her lips when her chest crashed against Draco's and her hands lifted up to his shoulders steady herself, while his grabbed onto her waist lightly. Her eyes trailed up to meet his, as deep and blue as ever, and her heart was beating so quickly, she thought it might explode. "'M sorry," she muttered, pulling her hands off of him and taking a few steps back out of his own grip when she realized the position they'd been in.

Draco didn't acknowledge her apology, he only ran a hand through his hair and shifted his gaze to his feet. "I know you lied to Slughorn," he said. His voice was lower than usual, lacking the attitude that normally came with it, and she felt her stomach flip.

"What?" she asked, taking a couple more steps backwards when he started to advance forward, but she didn't get far before her back hit the cold, stone wall. There was no escaping him anymore as his eyes met hers again, so close to her that the tips of their shoes were nearly touching, and he blinked at her.

"Your amortentia," he told her, though she'd already known exactly what he'd meant.

"My amortentia?" she repeated quietly, hoping she could buy herself enough time to say something—anything—that might get him off of her back, but she was finding it increasingly hard to concentrate when all she could smell was him, him, him. She silently cursed him for being so close to her. "I didn't smell anything, I—"

She couldn't even finish her sentence before he cut her off, slamming the palms of his hands on either side of her head and trapping her between his arms. "For Merlin's sake, quit lying," he hissed, his face only centimeters away from her own at that point, and her lips parted in surprise. Her eyebrows furrowed as she practically gaped at him, wondering why the situation had intensified so quickly. "What did you smell?" he snarled.

Y/N shot him a look of disgust. She didn't understand why he was being so aggressive about the whole thing, but she didn't appreciate it, no matter how hot it might've been. "I told you. I smelled nothing," she growled, lifting her hands up. She was about ready to shove him away from her at that point, but he let out a frustrated sigh and let his head hang forwards instead. She flexed her fingers in midair, fighting the urge to card them through his hair as the smell of his shampoo really tested her boundaries, but she let them fall back to her sides.

Draco pulled one of his hands off of the wall and ran it over his face. "Bloody hell, Y/L/N, did you smell me or not?" he asked, his voice softer than it had been before, and he tilted his head back up to meet her eyes again. When he did, it was like all of the breath in her lungs was stolen away.

Maybe Daphne was right. Maybe he didn't hate her. "Why would it matter if I smelled you or not?" she questioned.

"I walked in and the whole room smelled like you," he admitted. "I didn't realize what it meant until you talked about it," he told her, and her eyes searched his for any tell that this was all some sort of sick joke, but he looked more sincere than she'd ever seen him before.

A smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth and her stomach did a little leap at his confession. "You smelled me? That's awfully sweet of you," she hummed, all the wrong sorts of tension having faded away, leaving only the good to float about between them. Y/N reached up to brush the backs of her fingers over one of his cheeks, but he caught her wrist in his free hand instead.

Draco gave her a dead stare. "I'm going to ask you once more before I drop the topic altogether, did you or did you not—"

"I did," she caved, cutting his sentence short, and she watched the way that his expression instantly softened. He released the hand that he'd caught in his own, his face still scrunched up a bit, because it was Draco, for Merlin's sake, but she touched it hesitantly to his cheek. Her eyebrows lifted slightly in surprise when his skin felt warm against her fingertips, proving that he wasn't completely reptilian, and she let it slide down his jaw softly. He seemed to lean into her touch, before she let it sit loosely on the back of his neck. "It smelled of rain, and parchment, and entirely of you," she whispered and his eyes swam around in hers.

"Why'd you lie, then?" he asked, his voice quiet.

Y/N shrugged. "I think I panicked," she admitted. "If I said what it smelled like, I was worried everyone might've known my feelings for you," she explained.

Draco nodded once and he leaned forward, his face inching closer to her own. The hand that he had on the wall curled against it and his other hand came up to cup her face. Y/N turned her head to press a kiss to the front of his wrist and he tilted her head to the side, pressing a soft kiss to her collarbone and leaving a trail up her neck. "Were you ever going to tell me?" he questioned.

A grin spread across her lips and she shook her head softly. "Couldn't have my sworn enemy knowing I had a soft spot for him, could I?" she quirked and his lips tilted up into a half-smile.

"Sworn enemy, huh?" he asked and he placed a kiss against the corner of her mouth. "To be honest, I always thought we were flirting," he hummed and she looked at him in disbelief.

"You act like a prat and you call that flirting, Malfoy?" she asked through a slight chuckle and he laughed. "You're unbelievable," she told him. "But I'll take it, so guess," she told him and he pressed his lips to hers again, pulling her closer to him by her waist and keeping her pressed against the wall.

He only broke the kiss to mutter an, "I'd hope so," against her lips and she smiled against his mouth, reaching up to tangle her fingers in his hair.

↴

author’s note / just a little hp tiktok inspired mumbo jumbo hehe

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy imagines #draco malfoy tiktok #Harry Potter #harry potter imagines #harry potter x reader #Tom Felton #tom felton imagines #tom felton x reader

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valewright67 · 3 years

Text

Melizabeth Week, Day Two: Heaven/Hell - Heaven

Fair warning, this is an old one I wrote but never published. I wasn't sure what else to do for it. Also, I apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes.

A bit of OOC with Ludociel

_-_-_-_-_

"So where should we go first? Now that we're free from the curse. We agreed we'd travel, right? Sooo.... Any ideas?" Meliodas asked, leaning back against Elizabeth. His eyes were closed in bliss as he lay cradled in her arms, back to chest. She was leaning against the headboard on their bed. "Hm… Well, we could return to the celestial village? I've got my memories back now, and… well, that's the closest place to the goddess realm I can get. I'd like to visit. Fly around a land above the clouds once more."

He hummed and turned his head, nuzzling into her collarbone gently. "Sounds good to me. Should we invite any of the others?" Her eyes lit up. "That's a splendid idea! I'm sure Mael would like to visit a place like that too! Zeldris and Gelda as well!" She giggled. "We can invite the rest of the sins, but to be honest? I think they're pretty occupied."

True to her prediction, the sins all declined this time round, citing… alone time. (For Merlin and Gowther, that was literal. They just wanted to be left alone for awhile.) Mael was eager to come, for the same reasons Elizabeth had listed. Zeldris was reluctant, but Gelda convinced him, saying it'd be good for him and Meliodas to spend some quality time together, and she wished to discuss more with Elizabeth.

By the time the group of five had arrived, the sun was almost rising. "Oh, the spring is refilled! Good, that's convenient! We could have flown, but it would’ve been irritating." Meliodas said. He leaned down by the water and tapped it gently, channeling his energy into opening the portal. An extra burst of goddess magic from Elizabeth by his side, and the familiar glow lit up the pool. He grinned and stood, looking to the other couple. "Zeldris, Gelda. After you."

The black haired demon sighed. "Why do I feel like this is a bad idea?" The blonde smirked. "Because it probably is. Have fun!"

"...why do I ever trust you?" He grumbled, but dove into the pool anyways, quickly followed by Gelda. Elizabeth smiled at Mael. "You next." He nodded and went without complaint. Elizabeth after him, and Meliodas last, closing the portal behind him.

_-_-_-_-_

Zeldris blinked, adjusting the sudden darkness of the cave as Gelda broke the surface besides him. He swam out and pulled her with him. "Might as well take a look around. They'll be a minute." She nodded and the two walked out of the cave, into the sunlight.

He almost gasped. The view was incredible. It was stifled though, when he felt a presence of light flying towards him. He was immediately on the defensive and enabled his hellfire with a snarl, whirling around to face the potential threat.

Goddesses!

Wait… no. These didn't feel like Goddesses. Similar, but off. That's right, they're celestials. Apparently, descended from the heavenly beings who'd once been his mortal enemies. It was hard to remember that now, sometimes. That the war was over, and he had FRIENDS from the other side.

He held his hands up. "Wait, please, I mean you no harm, I swear it!" The bearded man holding a familiar feathered sword scowled. "Like we would believe you, demon! There's only one demon we've ever trusted, and that's not you!"

Zeldris tried to speak, to explain that he was pretty sure he knew exactly who they were talking about, and that they had nothing to fear from him. “You mean Meliodas, right? I’m-” Before he could complete his sentence, however, the man held the sword up near his throat threateningly. "No lies will spill from your throat before blood, demon scum." Gelda snarled. "How DARE you threaten my husband, you IMPUDENT prick-"

"I am only defending my home from the likes of creatures like you!"

"Remove the sword from my husband's neck!"

"Absolutely not! Either of you make a move, and I slit his throat!"

"MELIODAS IS MY BROTHER!!!"

The man froze and stared at him, before scowling suddenly. "You lying scum-"

"Hey, hey, hey! How about we all calm down, now!" Mael said, emerging from the cave entrance, arms raised placatingly. "There's no need for figh…ting… is that my sword??" He gaped at it. "I haven't seen that thing in 3000 years! This is where it's been the whole time??"

The Celestials didn't say a word, too stunned at the sudden appearance of a GODDESS, when they were supposed to be wiped out. And not only a goddess, but apparently the first wielder of their most sacred sword. He shook his head. "Um, well anyways. My names Mael, I'm one of the four archangels. That's Zeldris and Gelda. They're not gonna hurt you, the five of us just came for for visit."

"Five? Where's the other two?" By now a small crowd had gathered. The trio blinked as a small blonde man, looking eerily like Meliodas, were it not for the wings on his back, walked forwards. A woman looking near identical to Elizabeth by his side. Mael blinked and smiled. "I'd think they were right in front of me, if I didn't know any better, but they should be here in just a moment. They came through the portal last."

The two exchanged looks. Did he mean…? "Yo, Solaad!" Sure enough, the blonde demon who'd saved them during the time of ruin came up through the cave. "Why are you all terrorizing Zelly?" (A scowl at the nickname was directed at him, but he just smirked at the younger.) "He won't hurt anyone, I promise."

"Hello, Elatte. And everyone else too! It has been quite a long while, hasn't it?" Elizabeth spoke, walking up behind Meliodas with her wings folded neatly against her back.

…wait.

Wings??

"Meliodas? E-Elizabeth? Since when did you get WINGS??" Solaad asked. Elatte glanced at the older man. "Sir Zoria, please drop the sword, Meliodas himself said that this man means no harm."

Elizabeth gave a soft smile. "It's complicated. I've always had them, in a way, as I was born a goddess in my first life. But I was cursed by the demon king to reincarnate as a human for the rest of time, and if I should ever get my memories back, I would die in three days." She fluttered her wings gently. "We managed to break the curse, after 3000 years and 107 lifetimes."

"...who's 'we?' And why did the demon king curse you, what did you DO??" Zoria asked. She laughed. "Well. His firstborn son and I fell in love." She gestured to Meliodas, who had drifted over to Zeldris and thrown an arm over his shoulder, apparently teasing him in demon tongue, much to the younger's displeasure. Zeldris was almost visibly bristling, and his face was red.

“Meliodas is the son the demon king??” Solaad almost yelled, gaining the two demons' attention. “I mean, yes?” Meliodas said, arm still around Zeldris’s shoulders. “Though the previous demon king is dead now, we killed pops. I’m not exactly the current demon king's son.”

Mistress Vaness hobbled forwards. “Who could possibly have the power necessary to take the place of a god?” Meliodas and Zeldris blinked, looked at each other and back at her. “We share the burden.” They said together. She gaped. “You mean…?” They smirked. “Yep! Zeldris is my younger brother. We have the same blood, which makes it easier to share the role of demon king.”

“Meli is, technically, the stronger by default. But we split the demon king's power and influence 50/50. He just had a more powerful base. Not by much though.” Zeldris added on.

Meliodas ruffled his hair fondly, and Zeldris swatted him off, retreating to Gelda’s side. The blonde laughed and drifted back over towards Elizabeth. Mael was just. There. He was still looking at the sword. “Where did you all even get that?” He asked, baffled. The Celestials all exchanged looks and Elatte smiled at him. Solaad took the sword. “Come, we will show you.” They took off and flew down towards a temple. The group followed them.

Elatte gestured up at the magnificent murals. "The legend says that 3,000 years ago, a dark haired goddess in flowing robes accompanied the great Oshiro when Sealing away the demons on our island. He gave us the sword right before his body was spent."

She pointed to a section along the side. “All he said was: ‘I cannot bear to look at this blade any longer. Perhaps it will protect you all better than it did my brother.’ And then he was gone, simple as that. We have passed it down, generation to generation. It is because of Solaad figuring out that it could be used to seal away demons that we are all still alive.”

Mael flew up towards the mural, gazing at the depiction of the goddess. “His name was Ludociel. He was my older brother. There was a forbidden spell cast that changed the memories of everyone in the world, including that of the gods. It made it seem as though I had been killed by Estarossa, one of three demon princes. In reality, Estarossa never existed. I was transformed into him, and false memories were implanted in everyone’s head, including mine. I had no idea that I was actually Mael.” He gave a small smile. “The memories are all still there, though. It is strange. I am both Mael of Sunshine, one of the four archangels, younger brother to Ludociel of Flash. And also, I’m Estarossa, second of the three demon princes, Commandment of Love. It is… strange. I don’t fit in anywhere anymore. Not really.”

Meliodas and Zeldris exchanged glances and flew up next to him. “Mael.” Zeldris started, quietly. “For a moment in time, even without the false memories, you were still our brother.” Meliodas grinned. “Yeah! You may not be Estarossa, but, like you said, he never existed in the first place. He was made up. But you are Mael, and we may as well count you as our brother. Even if you did kill me.” He smirked and the goddess gave a strained chuckle. “Thank you.” He murmured, drifting back down to the ground. Meliodas slapped his shoulder, and Zeldris nudged his side in an unspoken display of commadry.

He turned and looked to Solaad. “The sword belongs to your people now, I accept that. But… Would you permit me to wield it once more?” The blonde nodded and held the sword out to him. He took it gratefully, feeling the familiar weight of it. He twisted it around, reacquainting himself with it.

He walked outside into the clearing and took a deep breath, centering himself. He thrust the sword up towards the sun, channeling its energy, and he spoke. “Huius bring animam suam. Iterum ego volo loqui cum eo.” The sword lit up, and a beam of light shot out of it. He grunted. “Permitte mihi vedere!” He removed a hand and pointed it forward. The beam of light connecting him to the sun moved through him and flowed out of his hand. A silhouette started to form, flickering. He pushed his hand a little bit farther forward, and more light and magic poured out of him. “Emerge.”

The silhouette solidified. A goddess stood there, blinking and looking confusedly at his hands and then around him. His eyes landed on Mael, and then the stream of light that flowed to him and formed his body. A glimmer of understanding crossed his face, and he looked back up, meeting his brother's gaze.

“Mael… Hello, little brother. What are you doing?” He smiled kindly. Mael gave him a slightly strained grin. “Hi Ludociel. I missed you, I wanted to see you again.” The dark haired goddess softened a little and walked forward, caressing the side of his face. “I have missed you too, all these years. You cannot keep this up for long, however. Manifesting a soul takes up a lot of magic, and you’re going to burn yourself out.” Mael leaned into his palm. “I know, but… my sword… I can channel more magic through it, and I just. I needed to talk to you again. I needed to tell you how sorry I was, Luce...”

He shushed him. “None of that, Mael. There is nothing to forgive. You’re my little brother, and I love you. I understand.” He glanced around again. “So you made your way to the Celestial’s island. I remember giving them your sword. I couldn’t stand seeing it without you there everyday. I just wanted to get rid of it. I’m a little impressed they’ve kept it in such good shape all these years. Heaven knows most of the rest of our weapons were damaged or destroyed over the centuries.”

Mael wobbled a little, and Ludociels image faded. His hand was clasped on his older brother's shoulder, channeling the magic directly into him. He grunted and forced himself to straighten, Ludociel’s body solidifying again. He gave him a sad smile. “You have to let me go, Mael. Before you hurt yourself.” “No! I’m not, I’m not done talking to you yet, there’s so much I need to say!” He grunted again, the magic taxing on him. Ludociel was about to force him to stop, when two beams of pure magical energy hit his back, reinvigorating him. He turned to look, and Zeldris and Meliodas were lending their power to him.

“He’s our brother too, in a way.” Meliodas said. Zeldris finished the thought. “He deserves to get to talk to you, after everything.” With the extra influx of magic, Ludociels form started to glow. He could almost feel his body again. Elizabeth walked forwards. “Ludociel… I can do this for you, at least.” He blinked, almost surprised to see her here. She pressed one hand over his forehead, and another over his chest. She inhaled deeply, eyes closed. On the exhale, she spoke. “Revertere ad vita.” His eyes widened. Return to life.

Her hands glowed with a brilliant light, and he could feel a true body forming around him. She groaned, drawing on her reserves. Gelda scowled and whirled around to the celestials. “You all have light magic! Give her some of yours!”

They were frozen, but Elatte stepped forwards and lifted her hands, pointing at Elizabeth’s back. “All of our power into one! Heal!” A beam of green light shot out of her hands and into Elizabeth. The other celestials were quick to follow her example.

She gathered the influx of energy and pushed it into him. A blinding light filled the clearing, and when it faded, Ludociel was actually there, kneeling on the ground, naked as the day he was born. Though, Elizabeth supposed that made sense, considering he had just been reborn, in a way. Mael dropped the sword and stumbled forward, clinging to him tightly. Ludociel hugged him back.

“...May I please have something to cover up with?” He asked. Mael laughed and took off the topcoat of his robe, wrapping it around him. Ludociel buttoned it up, silently thanking that it was long, and reached to his ankles.

Mael stood, and helped him to his feet, the two leaning on each other for support. Meliodas had already gathered Elizabeth up, and was holding her while she regained her energy. The two murmured gently back and forth. Gelda and Zeldris were doing the same not too far away.

"Mael…" He started. "Thank you, little brother." The light haired goddess grinned and leaned in to hug him once more. "I missed you, big brother." Ludociel smiled and stroked his hair. "We can talk later. For now, let's just enjoy the moment."

"Elizabeth… How did you do that? Even with all of our energy, we cannot bring someone back to life. So how is that with you performing the spell, it was successful?" Solaad asked, picking up the sword. She smiled a little. "I honestly had no idea that would work. I hoped, of course, but I had no way of knowing for sure."

Ludociel barked out a tired laugh. "You are far too modest, Lady Elizabeth." He turned to the gathered celestials. "She is more powerful than even I or Mael are at our strongest, when she wishes to be. Her healing powers far surpass even the best of our other healers. She is able to remove the darkness from even Indura’s, and has done so before, purifying two Indura demons at the same time. Her formal title is Elizabeth Lightbringer." He gave a small smirk as he added on one more tidbit of information. "Daughter of the Supreme Deity."

Gasps echoed through the crowd, and Elizabeth sighed. "Please, it's really not that big of a deal-" "But it is, Elizabeth." Mael said, with a brilliant smile. "Of the goddesses, you are second in power and ability only to your mother. In the rest of the world. Well. You married your equal." He nodded his head at Meliodas, who returned it with a smirk.

The two brothers walked off, shooting the crowd and, specifically, the demons and Elizabeth, grateful smiles. Meliodas clapped and rubbed his hands, wings taking shape on his back. "I'm hungry. I'll catch a sky fish, and you'll teach me how to cook one. Deal? Deal!" He flung off the ground and Elizabeth bristled, bolting after him. "YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO COOK, YOU'LL POISON US!!" He just cackled.

#melizabethweek #elizabeth nnt #meliodas x elizabeth #geldris #zeldris x gelda #mael nnt #ludociel #seven deadly sins #nanatsu no taizai #celestials #solaad #Elatte #melizabethweek2021 #melizabeth #day two #heaven/hell #heaven

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mrfeenysmustache · 3 years

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#5 and SessKag 😬

HELL YEAH SESSKAG. Also hello best friend 🥲 you’ll be seeing this when you wake up so good morning 🥲

This one ended up a wee bit longer than the others lol

“Home stopped being a place when you entered my life”

#5 on the fluff prompt list

She’d met him at a party.

A Christmas party.

He stood stiff and awkward in the corner, a head and shoulders taller than everyone else, his crisp, fitted suit clashing with the silly holiday sweaters the rest of them wore.

“That’s my brother,” Inuyasha, her best friend and brother-in-law, whispered to her as he passed her a cup of punch, “we just reunited and the family aint too happy about it.” and she understood.

She made her way over, determined to bring him into the fold, or at least make him feel more at ease and welcome.

“Hello,” she greeted, his golden eyes slanting her way. “I’m Kagome, Kikyo’s sister. You know, Inuyasha’s wife?”

“Hn.” He responded with a nod in her direction. “Sesshomaru.”

“It’s so nice to meet you! Can I get you a drink?”

She watched his nose twitch discreetly as he scented the drink in her hand, and then his lip curled up just slightly in disgust.

“Oh, not one of these.” She giggled in response, “I know where they keep the key to the liquor cabinet.”

He relaxed just the slightest iota, and she practically beamed.

“Whisky on the rocks.”

“Coming right up!”

He sipped his drink slowly as she filled him in on every name, occupation and marital status.

Aside from Kikyo and Inuyasha, they had Koga, the bachelor bartender, Sango and Miroku, the married couple who owned a sweet shop, and..

“Me, and I’m a nurse.”

“No significant other?”

His voice, deep and rich, made the hair stand up on her arms in a pleasant way, but she resolutely ignored it.

“Nope! It’s just me.”

“Hn.”

He said little else, but she didn’t get the impression that he was annoyed, so she stayed near him as the party progressed.

“Bye everyone!” She called from the door when it was time to go. “It was so good to finally meet you Sesshomaru, I hope you’ll be around more often!”

He gave her a nod and a little smile, and she went home for a peaceful night’s sleep.

——

He was there for their next group dinner. Inuyasha warned them in hushed tones before he arrived that he may be in a foul mood.

“Things with the family have gotten worse. He barely talks so it’s hard to know what’s happened. I know they don’t like that he’s reconciled with me after they tried to completely shut me and my mom out for not being yokai, but I think there’s more he hasn’t told me. Just don’t be surprised if he’s moody this time.”

“As opposed to how warm and conversational he was at the Christmas party?” Koga quipped, laughing with Miroku and igniting Kagome’s fe mper.

“Well I thought he was nice!” she cut in, blushing when several sets of stunned eyes turned on her at once. “He was!”

“Yeah we saw you two getting cozy in the corner all night.” Miroku said, waggling his brow suggestively.

“We weren’t ‘getting cozy’ you insufferable letch. He looked lonely and uncomfortable so I talked to him. That’s all. And he was nice.” She shrugged, and then the conversation died as Sesshomaru himself swept in.

He took the only seat open, the one next to her, and Kagome felt her heart twist as he simply sat and covered his face with his hands, ignoring everyone else as they chatted and cut up.

Enjoying time with her friends felt hollow with such a wounded soul sitting next to her, but she knew so little about Sesshomaru she worried she might cross some unnamed boundary.

She took a large gulp of her drink and laid her hand gently on his shoulder.

“Sesshomaru… are you alright?” She asked quietly, speaking soft enough to avoid getting the attention of her friends but loud enough that he would hear. After a long moment where she was sure he wouldn’t respond, he pulled his hands away from his face and slowly reached into his pocket. He pulled out his cellphone and tapped the screen once, lighting up a photo of a cute, smiling little human girl with melting brown eyes.

She looked between him and the phone screen, unsure what he was trying to communicate, but certain it was connected to the cause of his dark mood.

“This is Rin.” He clarified, voice pitched low and for her ears only.

“She’s adorable.”

“Hn. She is my daughter.” He met her eyes, and the gold of his glowed firm and defensive.

Suddenly, everything made a lot of shocking sense.

“They don’t like that you’ve adopted a human, do they? Your family?”

“No. They do not.”

Pulling her purse off the back of her chair, Kagome retrieved her own phone. She scrolled through her pictures for just a moment, until she found just the one she was looking for: a grinning little Fox boy holding up a scribbly crayon drawing.

She tilted her screen over, and Sesshomaru leaned nearer to see.

“My son.” She said simply, and though his reaction was so subtle no one sitting any farther away from him than her would notice, Kagome thought she’d seen him sag in relief.

“We should get them together for a play date.” She suggested, and they exchanged numbers with plans to do just that.

————-

Rin and Shippo got along swimmingly, and, surprisingly, so did she and Sesshomaru. He’d grown comfortable enough with her that their conversation consisted of more than just her babbling at him and hoping he was listening. They shared their adoption stories, how they’d found their children and came to be their parents, the challenges that came with adopting children outside your species, he opened up about the backlash he’d faced from his family when he first brought Rin home, backlash he’d expected but hoped against hope he was wrong about.

“Once she warmed my heart and showed me the folly of clinging to the prejudices I’d been raised with, I reached out to Inuyasha in hopes of establishing a relationship with my only sibling. I’d never even met him before, as he and his mother were never allowed around the family before father died. Afterward, everyone acted as if neither ever existed. Likewise, Rin will never meet the rest of her relatives.”

Kagome watched the two children chase each other as they squealed with laughter. Uncomplicated fun between a yokai child and a human child. Completely different species, but alike enough to play.

“If she ever needs a grandmother, I’m certain my mama would take her right in. She’s loved getting to spoil Shippo.”

He smiled, small but true, and she went a little starry eyed at the beauty of it.

“Hn. I will keep it in mind.”

————

Play dates evolved into real dates, and though her friends teased them, they took it in stride. Quiet and controlled in public, Sesshomaru was soft and demonstrative with her in private. She’d never felt so secure in a relationship before, and the firm but nurturing hand he had with both children made them all feel safe.

They spent more time all together than apart, and soon life felt empty if they weren’t all together.

Sesshomaru occasionally came over with a dark cloud over his head after a particularly nasty clash with family, but she’d simply run her fingers through his hair until the knots of tension were soothed. He was a strong, yokai influence for Shippo to learn from; she was a tender human mother for Rin to thrive from, and when Sesshomaru asked if they could join their families together permanently, no question in her life had ever had an easier answer.

And no answer had ever had such drastic consequences.

News got out and around fast, and one night, less than a week after their joyous engagement, Sesshomaru and Rin showed up at her door with a suitcase each, and dour faces.

“We need a place to stay…. A place to live.”

“Oh my gods, come in both of you.”

They spoke nothing of it at first.

Kagome kept busy feeding the children, getting them bathed, and tucking them in together to giggle h see their covers before falling asleep.

As soon as their door was firmly shut, she sat at the table across from Sesshomaru and laced her fingers through his.

“I have been disowned and disinherited.”

Unsure what to say, Kagome simply squeezed his hand.

“They tolerated the fact that I’d adopted a human daughter, but they would not stand for me falling into my father’s footsteps and marrying a human woman. My choices were my standing in the family, or you.”

Tears filled her eyes as him being here could only mean one thing: he’d chosen her.

“Oh Sesshomaru. I’m so sorry.”

“As the house I resided in was family property I was no longer allowed to stay, and I was fired from my father’s company and stripped of all my rights to any part of it. I’m afraid I come here with nothing to offer you now.”

She stood and rushed around the table and into his arms, hunkering down into his strength, hopefully lending her own.

“Stop that. I don’t want anything but you and Rin. That’s all I need. I’m just so sorry you had to lose your home because of me.”

He rested his chin atop her head and let her scent calm him.

“My home.” He mused, looking around the tiny apartment he’d hoped to move her out of soon when they were able to merge their lives into one. It would be cramped with all four of them there full time, but it was already chock full of their memories. They would figure it out.

“My home stopped being a place when you entered my life, Kagome.”

She wept and he held her, one of the only treasures he had left in the world, while the other two slept soundly and happily in their bed.

#sesskag #sesskag fic #prompt requests #sesskag fanfic

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zevlors-tail · 4 years

Text

Mornings

A/N: Just a little TodoDeku x Reader thing I had saved in my drafts. I feel like some of it doesn’t flow, sorry. I worked on it at different times, and to be completely honest, I wrote it in a different POV when I started it so I had to go back and change the first few paragraphs. I figured you guys needed something, and this gave me a break from everything else.

Pairing: Poly TodoDeku x GN!Reader

Warnings: Mild angst, Todoroki crying, mention of nightmares, shirtless Izuku

Genre: Mild angst, mostly domestic fluff.

Oh yeah I forgot because I was tired but I came back here to emphasize that this is an established poly relationship between Izuku, Todoroki, and the reader, and that both boys and the reader are aged up 21+ as they always are in my poly pairings.

The blaring of an alarm clock drags you from your sleepy reverie as you slowly come to. Your eyes are still tired and blurry, but you recognize the familiar green mop of hair to your right as Izuku’s. It takes you a minute to process everything with your brain still half asleep, but you feel him reach around and over you to hit the snooze button, effectively silencing the bane of your existence every morning. Squinting, you roll over and read the time; 5:00 am is way too damn early to be awake right now.

The boy who only moments ago had been snoring peacefully next to you suddenly sits up, stares blankly for a moment to gather his bearings, then carefully slips out of bed so as not to wake you and Shouto (though it was a bit too late for your sake). When he realized you were staring him down with groggy eyes and a cute pout, he smiled but couldn’t help feeling bad for waking you up. He tried to apologize quietly, ruffling your hair gently before giving you a quick kiss on the cheek while telling you to go back to sleep. But you knew it was too late for that, and you rubbed at your eyes sleepily as you watched him change into the familiar pair of basketball shorts he used to work out in and one of his many signature graphic tees.

“Zuku, can I go with you on your run?” you whispered, trying to push yourself up from the bed slowly. But before you could make it all the way up, a pair of arms wound their way around your torso, and you felt yourself being dragged back down to the mattress softly. Todoroki nuzzled his face into your neck from behind, exhaling a warm puff of air that sent goosebumps down your arms and caused the hair at the nape of your neck to raise slightly.

“I don’t think Shouto wants you to,” Izuku chuckled, “although I’m sure he would understand if you did. Do you want me to wait for you?”

Behind you, Shouto mumbled a halfhearted “Stay,” sleep evident in his voice as he drifted back to dreamland before he even finished speaking.

The warmth he radiated and the soft blankets you snuggled back into were enough to keep you from trying to get up a second time, and you were entirely tempted to succumb to the newfound drowsiness that washed over you. “S’ fine...” you murmured to your partner. If you had the energy to say more you would have, but Shouto’s even breathing was lulling you to sleep faster than you realized. “Hey...Deku?” The words were barely coherent, but they were there and he heard them. He took them especially serious at the mention of his hero name, which he knew you only used when you really needed something.

“Yes, sweetheart?” He made his way over the edge of the bed, kneeling down to your level as he lightly ran his thumb over your jawline in a loving way.

“Can I have your sweatshirt? Smells like you...” Your eyes were already closed again, facial features relaxing as Izuku continued to caress your cheek with his thumb.

“Of course, love.” Izuku smiled at the request. He gave you one last look of adoration before starting to rummage through the room for a specific hoodie that he’d worn to work this week; it happened to be his softest one, and he’d drenched the thing with his cologne on accident, so it probably still smelled like him.

He let out a small noise in triumph as he found the sweatshirt on the back of his computer chair before he gave it an experimental sniff to make sure it really was clean. It was, although he’d definitely used way too much of his cologne for his liking; good thing he wasn’t the one who would be using it today. Making his way back to you, he scrunched his nose up at the overbearing smell and let a puff of air out of his nose. You would love it.

“Here, baby.” You felt him gently shake you to get your attention, but you refused to open your eyes, instead latching onto his arm that held the hoodie and cuddling up to both. “H-Hey, hun-” Izuku let out a quiet laugh at your reaction while carefully trying to pull his arm away. You eventually gave in and let go, preferring to rub your face into his shirt and take a deep breath in to smell his cologne. “I love you both dearly. Sweet dreams.”

And with one last pat to both your and Shouto’s head, Izuku was out the door and on his usual morning run.

The next time you woke, golden rays of sun were filtering in through the blinds covering your window and Todoroki was stirring quietly next to you, a yawn escaping his lips. You were curled tightly into a ball, your arms curled into your chest while your hands grabbed at something you didn’t remember having before bed last night. Opening your eyes and letting them focus for a moment, you realized you were holding one of Izuku’s favorite hoodies, and a few fleeting memories from earlier in the morning returned as you rolled over to greet Shouto.

“Hi, baby.”

Shouto smiled affectionately at your hello and brought a hand to rest against your cheek before leaning in for a kiss. “Morning, babe. Did you sleep okay?”

“I did. How did you sleep, princess?” you teased.

“I slept okay,” he forced out after an odd pause. You could tell there was more he wanted to say, that there was an unspoken ‘but’ at the end of his words, though he remained quiet and didn’t explain any further.

“Are you having those dreams again?” you asked quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. You weren’t really afraid to ask, but you knew it could bring up bad memories for him if you pried any more than necessary.

“No.” He frowned, but the tension in his face didn’t leave. “I haven’t had any dreams about my father for a really long time now, ever since I moved in with you and Izuku.”

You were touched. You’d known since the start of your relationship that Todoroki sometimes had night terrors, and most of the time they consisted of his father or his mother, maybe even a few other family members. It wasn’t uncommon for either you or Izuku to get a phone call from him in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning right as you were waking up before you all moved in together. It had happened a few times after you were all sharing the house together, but someone had always been there physically to comfort him after that. And now that you thought back on it, it had stopped shortly after the move, which meant that having you and Izuku around all the time must have really helped him cope.

“Really? I’m so glad to hear that! We were really worried about you for a while, you know.” You smiled and ran a hand through his hair gently causing him to hum in appreciation and lean into your touch. His hand fell from your face and came to rest atop the one carding through his hair, momentarily pulling it away to stop the motion even though it seemed he wanted more.

“I love you,” he said suddenly, firmly, as if he would never again get the chance. His tone startled you, and you met his heterochromatic eyes to see tears forming in the corners of them.

“I love you too. Hey, what’s wrong?” You kept your voice soft so as not to further overwhelm him, though your chest flooded with anxiety about what could possibly be bothering him.

Shouto squeezed your hand tightly before responding, eyes scrunching up as he bit back a sob and sniffed. “I don’t have those dreams anymore, which is nice, but...” He couldn’t help the small cry that escaped his throat; you felt your heart crack at the sound. “It was a nightmare, a-and you...Midoriya...I couldn’t save you-!”

You wasted no time in pulling your partner to your chest, your arms wrapping around him securely as you placed his head under your chin. Shouto was a silent crier, but his body heaved with every breath and shook with every tear that left him. You did your best to provide comfort. The three of you were all too familiar with nightmares, as they were often a product of your jobs as heroes, and each of you had been subject to awful dreams after failed missions and jobs gone wrong. In fact, you recalled having one just the other night about a particular villain you’d fought against and lost to earlier in the month- if it weren’t for Bakugou, you weren’t sure what would have happened...he had pried you from the villain’s clutches himself and saved your life with basic first aid after you’d been heavily wounded.

You each dealt with nightmare’s differently, but the bottom line was that you were all there for each other when you needed to be. Even now, as Shouto sobbed into your shirt, you were there pressing kisses to his temple and rubbing a hand on his back, murmuring sweet nothings and words of comfort until he had regained some of his composure. When he finally calmed down enough to breathe evenly again, he pulled away from your embrace and kissed you once more on the lips; it was his way of both thanking you and reassuring you that he was okay.

You returned his sweet kiss before reaching behind you, your hand feeling around on the bed for something specific you knew would benefit your boyfriend more than it would you right now. Finally finding purchase in the soft material, you pulled Izuku’s hoodie over to the other side of the bed where Shouto was and set it in front of him. He gladly melted into it just as you had when Deku had given it to you.

“Smells like Midoriya.” Todoroki sniffled and closed his eyes, one hand fisting your shared partner’s shirt and his other lacing his fingers between yours, palms warm and soft.

You let your mind drift as you both laid there together in a comfortable silence. Birds chirping outside and the sounds of people going about their everyday lives created a sort of morning ambiance while you absentmindedly started humming, the most recent catchy tune you had heard finding it’s way to your vocal chords as you serenaded the bedroom softly.

“Please don’t stop,” Todoroki pleaded with you. His eyes were still closed, his face finally soft and relaxed.

You only smiled and continued. About a half hour later, while you were in the middle of singing a sweet melody that Todoroki had personally asked for, you heard the sound of the front door opening and shoes behind kicked off hastily before heavy footsteps were trudging up the stairs to the bedroom. You stopped singing as Deku opened the door, Shouto grumbling out a complaint about you stopping before lifting his head up to see what the commotion was about.

“I’m back, and I brought breakfast and coffee!” He set a drink carrier down on the computer desk along with a couple small bags that smelled of something sweet before ripping off his sweaty shirt, tossing it on the floor without a care in the world. “Scoot over!” He gave only one single warning before he was diving into the bed with the two of you, worming his way in between you with a sly smile and snuggling up to your front side in all his sweaty glory.

“Oh, Izu, yuck-” You feigned disgust but laughed and pulled him close regardless, your nose undecided about whether the smell of his sweat was gross or appealing. There was something about when you caught the two boys post-workout before they showered; you weren’t sure why, but it made you feel certain ways.

“You know you love it! Come here, both of you!” He wrapped an arm around each of you and pulled you both to his chest, Todoroki smirking and cuddling into him while you tried to pull away playfully. But he was much stronger physically, and you only squirmed as he held you in place.

“Can you go back to singing now, Y/N?” Shouto asked, his voice much more upbeat now.

“Oh, you were singing? Can I make a request!?” Izuku interjected.

“Only if you let me go so I can get up and pee.” You sat up as he released his hold on you, a triumphant grin on your face as you swung your legs out of bed and made a dash to get up. “Ha! Breakfast is mine!”

“Oh no you don’t-” Curse Izuku’s quirk. There was a reason he was the number one hero in Japan; he outmatched you not just in physical capabilities, but speed as well. You let out a happy squeal as he reached over and grabbed you from behind, lifting you up slightly and tossing you in the middle of the bed between the two boys.

“I wasn’t done cuddling yet.” Todoroki snuggled into you, and you didn’t try to move this time as Izuku curled around you from behind.

“You two were so cute this morning, all cuddled up in bed. I wish I would have taken a picture; it was adorable. And then when I gave you my hoodie, Y/N, you latched on to my arm and wouldn’t let go...what a cutie.”

Your face flushed and grew hot, your heartbeat speeding up a little as Izuku squeezed you tight and pressed his lips against your neck.

“You still owe me half a song, Y/N.”

You ran a hand through Todoroki’s hair as you spoke, “Half your song, and then coffee and breakfast, or it’ll get cold.”

“I want a song too!”

You sighed, picking up where you left off and smiling to yourself. Even if breakfast got cold, you could reheat it. But moments like these? They only happened every so often, and you always made the most of them. Breakfast would just have to wait.

#poly tododeku x reader #tododeku x reader #izuku x reader x todoroki #poly bnha #poly tododeku #izuku x reader #shouto x reader #todoroki x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha #mha #poly tododeku x reader fluff #sweater writes

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discoscoob · 3 years

Text

Reset | Loki x Female Reader

Loki (Marvel) x Doctor Who

Loki and the Doctor answer a distress call, while Donna explains the reason for Loki’s sudden cruelty towards you.

Part Thirteen | Part Fifteen | Chapter Index

Words: 5.7k

Warnings: death and angst

Read on AO3

Loki and the Doctor returned to the TARDIS in solemn silence, as he suspected, Loki didn’t find you in the control room, he knew you would be hiding deep within the TARDIS by now and that Donna was likely trying to find you. He was certainly it would be a few days, at least, before he would see you again, before he had to see the pain on your face and know he was the one who was responsible for it.

You would resent him now and Loki didn’t even know if you would give him an opportunity to explain, but even if you did, how could you ever trust him again after the things he said to you? Loki felt hopeless, the only silver lining was the fact you were still alive and he reminded himself that he did the right thing.

“Loki, I’m sorry.” The Doctor sensitively approached him, “it was the only way-”

“Yeah,” Loki cut him off and the Doctor could tell he didn’t wish to talk about it, or about anything for that matter, so he let himself fall silent as he focused on piloting his ship.

Loki, who usually stood with proud posture and walked with confidence in each step, hung his head, slumped his shoulders, with them curved forward slightly, and dragged his feet as he began to make his way out of the control room to find somewhere to wallow in self pity, but the TARDIS had other ideas.

The lights of the control room switched to a dangerous red, that told you immediately something was wrong, but if that wasn’t enough, a repetitive bleeping echoed through the room. Loki suddenly became alert as he turned on the spot and looked back at the Doctor who was already working furiously at the ships console.

“What is that?” Loki demanded to know as he joined the Doctor’s side by the console.

“A distress call.” The Doctor answered while he squinted at the monitor, instead of putting on his reading glasses.

Loki’s interest spiked, he realised a distraction might be exactly what he needed to keep his mind from running over the cruel things he had said to you as you wept at his feet.

“Are you answering it?” Loki asked.

“Of course,” The Doctor nodded, as if that should’ve been obvious before he glanced up at Loki. “Wanna come along?”

“I have nothing better to do.” Loki nonchalantly shrugged.

“Buckle up.” The Doctor told him as he slammed down the handbrake.

***

You were lying on the floor of the dome observatory, curled up between the scattered cushions and blankets Loki had conjured for the makeshift bed you would often share whenever the pair of you came here. The more time the pair of you had spent together here, the more it felt like the space belonged to the both of you, it had always been peaceful here and you were never disturbed. It seemed natural to you that this was the first place you decided to come to seek safety and comfort.

Loki’s scent still lingered upon the soft furnishings which surrounded you like a nest, you couldn’t tell if you found it comforting or if it made your stomach churn with nausea, perhaps a bit of both. You hugged one of the cushions close to your chest and snuggled your body tightly around it as you unashamedly let your sobs rack through your body, which caused your back and shoulders to shake from the uncontrollable cries.

Your tears were cooling as they dripped from your jaw and travelled down the line of your neck, soaking the bedding around you, but you didn’t care. You were in agony, it genuinely felt as though your heart had been torn apart from the inside out and it was left bleeding in your chest just as rapidly as the tears flowed from your eyes, which were red and puffy by now. A dull headache had begun to form at your temples, from the toll your continuous weeping had taken on your body and your eyelids were becoming heavier as you welcomed sleep with open arms, but you didn’t get the chance.

You reduced your sobs to quiet sniffles when you heard the sealed door slide open before sliding back shut. Your eyes widened immediately and your weak and damaged heart nervously quickened it’s beat as for just a moment you had thought it was Loki who had come to see you. You weren’t sure if you were more glad or disheartened when you heard their footsteps and instantly recognised them as your aunties.

You gulped before you attempted to speak, hoping your crying and the tightness of your throat hadn’t put too much of a strain on your voice.

“If you have come to say ‘I told you so’ you can leave.” You croakily told her, without even bothering to turn around.

“Quite the opposite, actually.” Donna softly explained as she welcomed herself to sit down beside you.

You wanted to ask what she meant by that, but you didn’t have the energy, so you stared off at the breathtaking sight before you, despite the fact that all the stars and colours blurred together from the moisture that gathered in your eyes and slightly impaired your vision, hoping that she would elaborate without prompting.

“What a gorgeous view.” Donna observed instead, “I never even knew this part of the TARDIS existed.”

“Loki showed it to me.” You quietly told her, your voice was tired and saying his name caused your heart to clench.

“So this is where you two would disappear to when you were avoiding me?” She teased like everything was still normal, which only caused memories to rapidly flash through your mind like quickly flicking through the pages of an old photo album. You couldn’t stop yourself before you were crying again, you curled yourself tighter around the cushion, squashing it between your thighs and the front of your chest as you rested your forehead against the top of your knees and buried your face into the soft cushion, literally turning yourself into a ball. You felt your auntie rest her hand on your shuddering back as she gently began to stroke it in a circular pattern in an attempt to sooth you.

“I came here to tell you I was wrong.” Donna finally admitted, it shocked you so much, it acted like a sudden slap in the face as it immediately interrupted your sobs.

You raised your face from the cushion and lifted your head at an angle that said a pain shooting through your neck, which you ignored, to look at your auntie for the first time since she entered the room.

“About Loki.” She quickly added, as if it needed any clarification.

You ignored the ache in your head as you forced yourself into a sitting position, at first your head spun from how abruptly you moved, so you cradled your forehead in your palm for a moment before you focused your attention back on Donna and narrowed your eyes at her.

“Get out.” You harshly told her as you pointed towards the door, when she failed to move, due to the fact she was stunned motionless by your abrupt change in behaviour, you shoved roughly at her shoulder which caused her to gasp in both shock and pain.

“Haven’t you done enough, already?” You yelled at her, while she recoiled with wide eyes, completely thrown off guard by your outburst. “You think you can trick me again? Manipulate me into forgiving you, just so you can wipe the slate clean and start another twisted game?”

“What?” Donna hesitantly asked, afraid you had lost your mind since you weren’t making any sense.

“Goddammit, Loki, just drop the act!” You demanded with an exhausted sigh and Donna finally realised what you thought was going on as she sympathetically pulled her bows together and leaned back towards you.

Donna recalled how Loki had shifted into his female form at the temple in Pompeii, she hadn’t realised he could shift into other the forms of other people as well, but from your reaction, it didn’t take long for her to figure out that you had thought she was Loki disguised as herself.

“Hun, it’s me. It’s Donna.” She gently told you which caused you to finally pause as she put her hand on your forearm and stroked her thumb back and forth.

She had used the term of endearment which she most often called you and you couldn’t recall a time where which she had used it in front of Loki and he never called you ‘hun’ which made you pause in consideration as you squinted your eyes at your auntie.

“I’m sorry,” you eventually slumped with a sigh, as you brought your fingers up to your forehead to smooth out your crossed brows, the pulsating headache still dully shot through your skull. “I thought you were Loki, he can shift into the forms of other people.” You explained and Donna nodded with understanding.

“It’s okay.” She assured you.

“But... but why are you defending him?” You finally asked, “you’re not exactly his biggest fan.”

Donna tilted her head and pursed her lips to the side, the patience and empathy in her eyes made you feel at ease.

“Do you recall what happened?” She asked you first, to get an idea of your understanding of what had happened, because she knew you were smart and suspected that there must have been something blocking you from making the connection between the monster preying on your faith, specifically your faith in Loki, and him suddenly destroying it.

“The beast had started coming for me...” you drew your brows together as you concentrated on playing the memories back in your mind, “I was frightened and it was attracted by my fear, but Loki was there and I knew he would keep me safe but... I... I was wrong.”

You couldn’t see the confusion that was evident on Donna’s face as you were looking down at your hands which you were fidgeting with on top of your lap.

“Do you remember how the beast was defeated?” She asked you.

“I didn’t see,” you shook your head, “I was too upset. I just... I just assumed the Doctor had figured out how to stop it.”

She wondered how you had managed to get it so wrong, you hadn’t suffered any head injury that might have distorted your memories but then it hit her that something else would have distorted your mind, the beast had been inside it.

She recalled how you had told Loki it was changing you and your thoughts and realised that it must have made you forget that faith was what it fed on, and instead made you believe it was fear, in order to make you cling on tighter to your faith in Loki, despite how hard he was trying to break it.

“Sweetheart, the beast fed on faith,” she reminded you, “it was your faith in Loki that it wanted, he had to destroy it to save your life.” Donna explained to you as she gently brushed some of your hair away from your face, once you had lowered your head in thought.

“He didn’t mean anything he said, I could see how much it broke his heart to say those things to you.” Donna continued, “he really cares about you. It’s genuine and special and I was wrong.”

It was hazy at first but the fog the beast had left in your mind started to clear and your memories slotted back together, you realised how out of the blue it was for Loki to suddenly start being cruel to you and how at the exact moment he completely shattered your heart, the beast was defeated.

The realisation hit you like a slap in the face as you sat up straight and let your jaw fall slack, you suddenly had the urge to find Loki immediately and tell him you understood what he had done and fix everything, but before you could rise to your feet, you felt tremors beneath you as the whole ship began to quiver. The view beyond the dome vanished into array of colourful lights which the TARDIS travelled through like a current, the colours reflected on your face like a rainbow as you watched with wide eyed wonder, until the TARDIS came to an abrupt stop and the dome was plunged into darkness.

***

Loki and the Doctor cautiously stepped out of the TARDIS into the corridor of the space ship, which had given out the distress call, with wide eyes as they vigilantly glanced all around them, since they had no idea what to expect. But apart from some broken wires, which hung loose from the ceiling and occasional spat out sparks of electricity, it was empty and eerily silent. The pair made sure to steer clear of the broken wires as they made their way further down the dark and abandoned corridor, which was littered debris and abandoned belongings, while smoke and dust filled the air around them.

They followed the trail of destruction in silence, both wondering if they were too late, but they soon found out that they weren’t alone.

“Hear me and rejoice.” A voice called from the distance, beckoning them towards it. “You have had the privilege of being saved by the Great Titan.”

Loki abruptly halted in his tracks, the Doctor walked a few steps ahead before he realised he could no longer hear Loki’s footsteps behind him and looked over his shoulder, to find him bracing himself against the wall with a pale and vacant look on his face.

“You may think this is suffering.” the voice continued.

“Loki, are you all right?” The Doctor asked.

“No.” The voice said, “it is salvation.”

Loki blinked rapidly and determination took over his features before he stood straight and looked beyond the Doctor as he continued towards the voice which echoed through the wrecked ship, while the Doctor followed after him, whisper yelling his name along the way.

When Loki reached the centre of the ship, he saw the height of the destruction, the fires, the bodies of his people scattered around the floor as Thanos’ henchmen, Ebony Maw, stepped between them reciting his speech while Thanos himself, stood at the head of the ship, clad in gold armour.

He swallowed heavily at the devastation Thanos had brought upon his people, before he found a shadowed corner to hide in, behind a broken piece of wall as he watched on unnoticed. The Doctor joined his side just as Ebony Maw walked past a man who turned his head into the light, which revealed his features to both Loki and the Doctor.

“Is that you?” The Doctor whispered.

Loki nodded but his lips remained tightly sealed and the Doctor suddenly yanked on his arm, abruptly turning Loki to face him.

“You can’t be here, you can’t go back on your own timeline, the consequences could be catastrophic.” The Doctor warned him with a low tone. “We need to leave.”

“No.” Loki stopped him, “this isn’t my past, it’s not even my future. It... it’s... complicated.”

“Believe me, I know all too well about complicated, wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff. Try me.” The Doctor told him and Loki looked at him with furrowed brows.

“That purple brute other there,” Loki nodded his head towards the mighty titan and the Doctor glanced over and acknowledged him with a nod. “His name is Thanos and he is searching for all six infinity stones. I suspect he succeeds because five years from now, Earths ‘mightiest heroes,’” Loki brought both his hands up to make air quotation marks, which caused the Doctor to pull a face which Loki paid no attention to as he continued. “Go on a mission back in time to gather the infinity stones themselves, in order to reverse his snap which erased half the population of the entire universe. Of course, as you would expect, they messed up because I got my hands on the tesseract and diverged from the timeline, I mean, I didn’t know they needed it to save the universe.”

The Doctor cleared his throat in order to remind Loki that he was also diverging from the original point he was trying to explain.

“The point is, this isn’t my future anymore, not since I broke the original timeline.” Loki finally explained. “I’m a ‘cosmic mistake.’ That is why I shouldn’t exist.” He added to himself, more quietly.

“How do you know all that?” The Doctor asked.

“The TVA showed me.” Loki shrugged.

Suddenly Thor’s cries of pain caused Loki and the Doctor to once again peek over the wall they were hidden behind.

“That’s your brother!” The Doctor instantly recognised him from when he had saw him in the alleyway in New York.

Thanos was holding him down on his knees with his head clenched in his large hand as he held one of the infinity stones against his temple, torturing him.

“All right, stop!” Original Loki yielded and Thanos immediately removed the stone from against Thor’s temple, but still held the top of his head in the palm of his oversized hand.

“We don’t have the tesseract.” Thor said, his voice was exhausted and hoarse and he was panting heavily from the torture which Thanos made him endure. “It was destroyed on Asgard.”

Loki and the Doctor watched with bated breath as original Loki slowly began to raise his arm and a bright light appeared in his palm as he conjured a blue cube and he lowered his head to avoid his brothers gaze.

“You really are the worst brother.” Thor sighed through his heavy breaths.

“I assure you, brother, the sun will shine on us again.” Original Loki told Thor as he stepped towards Thanos and held out the tesseract.

Loki ducked back down and rested his back against the broken wall, the Doctor followed him and observed him as he seemed to be lost in thought.

“Loki...” The Doctor whispered, in an attempt to prompt him to share his thoughts.

“I die here.” Loki simply muttered, without lifting his eyes to the Doctors.

“What?”

“I die here.” Loki repeated, as he finally looked up to the Doctor, “but what if I changed that? What if... what if I took his place?”

“Loki, you can’t.” The Doctor immediately discouraged him.

“What else is there for me?” Loki argued. “I only had one thing worth living for and I broke her heart.”

“And you think dying will fix it?” The Doctor asked Loki, trying to make him see sense.

“No, but maybe he can.” Loki gestured to the Loki who stood beyond the broken wall they crouched behind. “What good am I for her? I am living a life on the run, you said it yourself, that’s not freedom.”

The Doctor recalled saying that to Loki during his first night on the TARDIS when they shared a conversation in the control room. He couldn’t believe how far they had come since. He still believed what he said was true, but now he had grown closer to Loki, it was harder to admit it, while Loki, who had originally disagreed with him, was the one repeating it back to him. They had come full circle.

The Doctor was just about to open his mouth to reply when a large, roaring, green beast came hurtling towards them, Loki quickly dived for cover and pushed the Doctor down with him as he did, just in time for the beast to leap straight over them.

“What the hell was that?!” The Doctor whisper yelled.

Loki didn’t stop to answer before he was climbing off the Doctor and stealthily scrambling through the ship to steal himself away, during the commotion.

Loki fought back against himself when he felt a strong arm slide around his waist and a large hand clamp over his mouth, usually he was able to use his strength and tactics to protect himself in situations like this, however this time he was struggling to get free, due to the fact it was himself he was trying to escape from, he had met his match but Loki hadn’t realised that, since his other self had grabbed him from behind. Once Loki had managed to drag himself over to a secluded corner, he let him out of his hold and the pair of them finally made eye contact.

Original Loki immediately freaked out and conjured a dagger before he shoved Loki into a wall and held it against his throat in the blink of an eye. The Doctor, who had watched the whole thing from where he was hid, quickly scurried over to the identical pair before they killed one another.

“Not quite the reaction I was expecting but, then again, I can’t say I’m surprised.” The Loki with a knife to his throat said as he raised his hands by his sides to show he wasn’t a threat.

“Who are you?” Loki demanded lowly which caused the Loki before him pulled his face back and give him a look.

“Come on, you and I both know you’re smarter than that.” Loki told him, which caused him to squint but he didn’t remove the dagger from below his jaw just yet.

“Loki–” The Doctor tried to interject, but the pair of them sent him an identical deadly glare and he immediately sealed his lips.

“There is no other like me, I am the one and only.” Loki told himself.

“My existence says otherwise.” Loki replied to himself with a shrug, “look, this has been nice but you’re wasting time...”

Before the Loki with the dagger could react, his other self raised his palm to his forehead and transferred all the knowledge he needed, which caused his eyes to roll into the back of his head as the dagger fell from his limp hand and his body became weak from the force of another’s thoughts, experiences and memories invading his mind. Once Loki retracted his hand from his skull, the original Loki dropped to the floor unconscious.

***

You called out for Loki and the Doctor as you and Donna rushed into the control room in search of them, only to find no one was there. The pair of you shared a look before you walked around separate sides of the console to reach the exit, you were the first to push the narrow wooden door of the TARDIS open and you immediately felt unsettled as you were greeted by the sight of the wrecked and abandoned corridor of what appeared to be a space ship, filled with smoke, debris and lose broken wires hanging from the ceiling.

Donna peeked over your shoulder, from where you stood in the doorway, at the carnage before the both of you, and although you couldn’t see it, her face mirrored yours as her features filled with worry and dread.

“What on earth are they doing here?” Donna wondered out loud, as you cautiously stepped forward and she slid out of the TARDIS after you and gently pulled the door shut behind her.

Your wide eyes wandered over every inch of the corridor which you could see and you quietly travelled down it, with your auntie in toe, carefully stepping over the bits of rubble. The pair of you yelped and jumped out of the way when one of the wires you were passing by, spat out some sparks of electricity towards you.

If that didn’t surprise the both of you enough already, the monstrous roar which echoed through the ship surely did as you clung to one another in shock.

“Those nitwits are going to get themselves killed.” Donna fretted as you both ran in the direction of where the roaring came from, unprepared for what might await you, but determined to save the God and the Time Lord from whatever situation they had got themselves in.

The first thing that caught your attention when you finally reached the heart of the ship was the green beast attacking the man you recognised as Thanos and you immediately put your arm out to halt Donna to ensure the both of you remained unnoticed in the shadows.

Your heart had threatened to leap straight out your throat as soon as you laid your eyes on the raisin resembling titan as a million worries raced through your mind at once. Your concern only heightened when you saw the hundreds of bodies that were scattered across the floor, you instantly knew the all lost their lives to the hands of Thanos and you sent a silent prayer that Loki wasn’t one of them as your eyes desperately searched for his familiar face.

“Oh my god,” you tensed when you heard Donna gasp, “that’s Loki’s brother!” She whispered to you as she pointed towards a man, who looked worse for wear, from what you could see, he was the polar opposite of his adoptive brother in appearance, with short blond hair which contrasted Loki’s long black locks.

“Wait- how do you know Loki’s brother?” You whispered back as you began to move further into the room, keeping in the shadows.

“We met him in New York while you were unconscious... did we never mention it?” Donna told you and you shook your head over your shoulder as you gave her a disappointed look that wasn’t too serious.

You quickly shushed Donna, despite the fact she wasn’t speaking, when you heard some hushed voices coming from behind some broken pieces of wall.

“Look, this has been nice but you’re wasting time...” You would recognise that voice anywhere and you immediately rushed towards it.

You were surprised when you saw a replica of Loki collapse to the floor before your Loki, while the Doctor stood beside him. Loki whispered your name as soon as he saw you.

“What are you doing here?” He asked you.

“Looking for you!” You harshly whispered back, he recoiled from your tone as you made your way towards him over all the debris, until you were finally stood in front of him.

“I... I’m sorry, I know what I said to you is unforgivable but please listen to me, you can’t be here. You have to leave.” Loki urgently whispered to you but you shook your head.

“No, Loki, I know why you did it, Donna explained everything.” You assured him as you brought your hand up to his which was limp by his side and he glanced over your shoulder towards your auntie with an unreadable look.

“She did?” He asked with disbelief as his eyes remained on Donna and she offered him a small apologetic smile with a nod. While you took a second to glance down at the Loki on the floor at your feet before you peaked back over the wall towards Thanos, who was beginning to overpower the green beast and your heart sank with realisation as fresh tears began to rise to your already puffy eyes and you grabbed a tight hold of Loki’s shirt as you stepped closer to him.

“Loki, please tell me you’re not about to do what I think you’re about to do.” You whispered lowly to him and the way he avoided your eyes gave you the answer you didn’t want to hear.

“Loki, don’t you dare!” You made your voice sound as assertive as it possibly could but it still trembled due to the lump in your throat, which was making it difficult to breathe, as sheer panic ignited in your racing heart. “Listen to me, if this is because you thought I might be upset or mad at you, I’m not, I promise. I understand why you had to say those things. You were saving me. I know you didn’t mean any of it. You don’t have to do this. Just come back to the TARDIS with me, yeah?” You pleaded with him, but he just kept his head down as his own eyes became misty.

You placed both your hands on the sides of his face to force him to look at you and your heart shattered all over again when you saw the hopeless look on his face.

“You’re better off without me.” Loki told you and you rapidly shook your head but he continued. “I’m on the run, I can’t keep dragging you along with me forever, constantly looking over my shoulder. You deserve a better life than that.”

“I’d follow you forever.” You promised him and he smiled sadly at that as he let out his own sob and brought your hand up to his wet lips to kiss the back of it.

“Take care of him for me, okay.” Loki told you as he nodded to the version of himself that was lying unconscious at your feet.

“I don’t want him, I want you!” You stubbornly told him.

“He is the better version of me.” Loki continued trying to persuade you.

“You’re the best version of you. Loki, I... I love you.” You finally admitted to him.

“What?” Loki choked looking at you in disbelief.

“I love you.” You repeated with more determination, you didn’t care what his response was, you just desperately needed him to know.

Loki stared at you with his mouth agape for a moment, it was as if you were both in your own bubble, completely oblivious to the chaos around you as you both stared into each other’s watery eyes.

“I love you too.” Loki confessed and he could barely finish his sentence before you were crashing your lips into his, the kiss was sloppy and tasted salty as your tears slipped past each other’s lips, but neither of you cared.

“Then please don’t do this.” You begged him once you parted.

“I need to save my brother,” he gestured to Thor, who was now being restrained as debris from the wreckage coiled around his body, “and you need to save him,” he gestured to the Loki at your feet, “I’m not supposed to exist. Everything will be as it should.”

You swallowed hard realising that there was no turning back from this and it became all the more real when with a green shimmer, Loki was suddenly dressed in the same clothes and cape as the unconscious Loki was wearing, even the same marks of dirt appeared on his face and his hair grew a little longer. He was his mirror image. The fact you knew exactly what was going to happen next made it all the more heart wrenching as you threw your arms around his shoulders and held onto him as tight as you could, certain that if you simply refused to let him go, he would give in and come back to the TARDIS with you.

Your shoulders shook with the force of your cries as you hid your face into the crook of Loki’s neck and you felt his arms curl around your waist just as tightly as he buried his face into the crown of your head. You were sure you felt his own chest tremble against yours with his own sobs which left a constricting feeling around your heart.

The Doctor peaked over the wall and watched Thanos add the second infinity stone to his golden gauntlet and he looked back towards the both of you.

“Loki...” He called his attention.

You sniffled as you pulled back from Loki and nudged the tip of your nose against the back of your sleeve. Loki glanced over to where Ebony Maw knelt before Thanos before he looked back at you.

“This isn’t the end for me, it’s just a reset.” Loki assured you. “The Avengers will return to 2012 and I will escape with the tesseract and embark on this journey again.”

“You will be trapped in an infinite loop?”

“I will spend the rest of eternity reliving the happiness moments of my life, with someone I love and who loves me in return.” Loki corrected you and you couldn’t help the smile that broke through your sobs, lighting up your face like the sun peeking through a pair of storm clouds.

“You need to go.” Loki said more solemnly when he realised he was running out of time, he could bare to look at the way your face dropped so he closed his eyes and left a final lingering kiss on your forehead before he wordlessly turned to make his way out of the shadows. You had automatically taken a step forward to follow him but your aunties hand on your shoulder stopped you from going any further.

You felt numb as she encouraged you to move, you allowed her to guide you without any struggling but she was the only reason your legs were moving at all, as you refused to take your eyes off the spot where Loki disappeared.

“If I might interject. If you’re going to Earth, you might want a guide. I do have a bit of experience in that arena.” You heard Loki voice as you kept to the shadows and Donna encouraged you to continue putting one foot in front of the other.

You were grateful for the fact your auntie was guiding you because everything looked smudged and out of focus due to your tears obscuring your vision.

Once you made it back to the TARDIS, Donna held the door open for the Doctor to carry Loki through, you knew he was the same person as your Loki but when you looked at him, it felt like looking at a stranger and you couldn’t help the faint burn of resentment that ignited within you when you looked upon him, knowing your Loki had sacrificed his life to take his place and offer him a second chance.

Without a care for what the Doctor did with Loki, you made a beeline straight through the control room, ignoring Donna as she called after you as you rushed as quickly as you could to your bedroom and locked the door behind you.

You didn’t even manage to make it to your bed before your legs gave way beneath you and you succumbed to your grief as it ripped through your chest and the agony of your loss constricted around your heart like barbed wire.

You sat on your bottom and hugged your arms around your legs, which were bent and pulled flush to your chest, and you buried your face into the top of your knees. As your last moments with your Loki played on a constant loop behind your eyes, until the memories faded into a dream as sleep took over.

#loki #loki x reader #loki x female reader #loki x you #loki imagine #loki marvel #loki series #thor #doctor who #tenth doctor #10th doctor #donna noble #tom hiddelson

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devilyn · 3 years

Text

wet pillows | kuroo tetsurou

— alexa, play: pillows by eaJ & keshi.

Give me your loneliness and I'll give you mine Leave all your tears by your bedside, and let's live a night I know you feel a mess and your pillow won't dry Come lay on me instead and pay no mind To the voice in your head

— synopsis: months after a painful breakup, you find someone just as lonely as you. — genre: angst, lots of tears, lots of making out. — word count: 1.8k

What was it about 2AM that haunted you? It’s been months since your ex ended your long term relationship, though you’re sure the love between the two of you ended months before that. Yet you were still getting used to laying alone during the night, which is why you always forced yourself to leave your small apartment to venture into the always bustling college parties.

Maybe tonight, you’d think to yourself every night as you sipped slowly from your red solo cup, I’ll go home and forget.

And every night, you’d end up disappointing yourself by going home alone drunk and staining your pillow with tears again.

It was your nightly routine. By the sixth party, you were used to standing by yourself against the wall and ignoring everyone that may have come your way to coerce you to dance with them. You were really only there to drink, and stop thinking so much. The loud music obstructed your thoughts, and mindlessly watching hordes of college kids laugh and drunkenly make out was enough distraction from what used to be happy memories of your past relationship.

Which is why you were here again tonight, back pressed up against the wall while swirling the free jungle juice around in your cup. You had probably been there for over two hours now, and you must’ve consumed over three full cups of this mysterious liquid. Your vision blurred--a tell-tale sign that it was time to go home.

With a sigh, you tossed your half-empty cup into the nearest trash can and made your way outside, shuddering at the cold air that whipped against your heated cheeks. For a second, you just stood outside the front door while gazing up at the starry night sky.

Briefly, you glanced at your phone. 1:29AM. A bitter smile graced your lips. You’d make it home just before 2AM came around.

“Everyone’s favorite wallflower is here again.”

You turned your head to the side, eyes slowly scanning the man behind the voice that was clearly speaking to you--the only other person outside.

“What’s it to you?” you murmured under your breath, fully prepared to leave the stranger standing there by himself.

“Just wondering why you always come to these parties to drink without taking anyone home,” you felt something warm drape itself over your shoulders, and when you turned your head, you met his curious hazel eyes.

“Who I sleep with or don’t sleep with really isn’t any of your business, is it?”

He laughed as you hugged the jacket closer to your clearly shivering form. He was amused, that was obvious by the smirk that tugged at the corner of his lips.

“No, it isn’t. I just wanted to know,” his hand came up to brush a strand of your hair behind your ear, and strangely, you didn’t flinch away, “if I could be a lucky exception to your habit of going home alone.”

You were seconds away from slapping his hand away and throwing his jacket back at him, but stopped when the mischievousness in his eyes melted into something more vulnerable.

“I could use the company,” his voice was quiet and light, very unlike his previously overconfident tone, “of someone who may be just like me.”

Your gaze softened. You hated that you recognized the look in those cat-like eyes of his.

Your body acted before your brain could tell you not to. Your arms wrapped around his neck to pull him into a deep kiss. You could feel the shock in his tense muscles, but he was quick to react and melt into your embrace. His arms snaked around your waist to pull you closer, lips moving against yours almost with desperation.

Seconds later, you pulled away with a gasp. He rested his forehead against yours, soft eyes reflecting your own. Your heart squeezed painfully in your chest, and you were quick to close your eyes, masking the action as you bathing in the moment. Though, if you were correct in your assumption about him, he probably saw right through you.

“What’s your name?” you questioned in a quiet murmur.

“Kuroo Tetsurou,” he answered with a soft, breathy laugh.

“Kuroo,” you smiled, eyes still closed. “Wanna come home with me?”

A sob rippled past your quiet cries, and you clutched at the cloth over your heart. You thought you were over it--over the past. Some nights, you’d sleep peacefully and forget your ex even existed. Other nights, you laid awake with tears silently streaming down your cheeks, unable to control the sadness eating you from within.

On nights like this, you’d call him.

Your hand blindly reached for your phone, fumbling to call Kuroo as quickly as you could. When he picked up, the first thing you did was break out into uncontrollable sobbing. Yet, his panicked voice calling your name soothed your aching heart.

“I-I’m s-so-sorry--”

“Don’t apologize for something that’s not your fault,” he cut you off, voice soft as it always was when speaking with you. “I’m on my way, okay?”

All you could do was nod, focusing on his soothing voice telling you to breathe in, and out. In, and out. He’d be there soon, he said. In, and out. Slowly, yes, you’re doing good. In, and out.

Eventually, your cries calmed down, and he whispered a soft, “I’m here.”

You shot up, throwing the blankets off your body and tossing your phone to the side to bolt to your front door. You wrenched the front door open, and your sorrow-stricken eyes filled with relief at the sight of his familiar bed head.

You threw your arms around his shoulders, tears stinging as they ran down your cheeks. His arms now instinctively hugged you close, and he let you cry loudly into his shoulder while his hand ran slowly up and down your back.

In and out. In, and out. You recognized the familiar sound of his voice, and it kept you grounded enough for you to breathe again. Soft hiccups left your lips as he pulled back just far enough to cup your face in his hands, smiling weakly.

“You’re a mess,” he teased softly, thumbs brushing the tears still slowly dripping from your eyes. Still, he tilted his head down to meet your lips halfway. His kiss tasted like salt and relief all at once. In an instant, your thoughts that had been filled with a person who had left you months ago were now empty. Instead, you focused on the way Kuroo’s tongue slid over your own and pushed past your lips to taste every inch of your mouth.

When he finally pulled back, your body instinctively leaned forward, wanting more. He smiled softly and pressed a light kiss to your forehead.

“Can you spend the night?” you asked softly, eyes finally fluttering open to meet his. Just like when you first met, they reflected that same emotion you recognized so well.

“Of course,” he brushed your hair gently, sliding his hand into yours and leading you back into your bedroom.

In minutes, he had flipped your tear-stained pillow over so you could sleep on a dry surface and tucked you into your warm sheets. He shuffled in beside you and pulled you into his arms. Your arm wrapped around his midsection and you tilted your head up instinctively, lips searching for his. He gave into your wishes, and dipped his head down to kiss you softly. Slowly, he peppered more kisses across your cheeks, your eyelids, and your nose. When he heard your quiet laugh, he finally smiled contently and kissed your lips again.

“I’ll be here in the morning,” he whispered. “So sleep.”

And sleep you did. Quite peacefully, you drifted off. That night, you didn’t dream.

Loneliness. That was what you recognized in Kuroo, and that was what you two shared that made your relationship so strange.

Loneliness was why you had your arms wrapped around him when he showed up unannounced at your apartment just two minutes before 2AM.

“I’m sorry,” his voice cracked as he held back tears. “I couldn’t go to anyone else.”

“I know,” you murmured in a soft tone. You had done the same thing to him countless times before. He had as well, but the two of you apologized each time.

Kuroo finally broke, and let himself cry. He cried quietly, body wracking with constrained sobs as you pulled him to sit on the edge of your bed. You stood between his legs, letting him bury his face into your chest to hide his pain from your sight.

The two of you recognized the loneliness in each other that night. That’s why you let him close, and it’s why he approached you in the first place. You never asked him why he shared the same look in his eye that you did, and he never asked you why you sobbed your heart out every other night. There was a mutual understanding between the two of you that you’d spend the nights crying into each other’s chests and sharing teary kisses, but you’d never push too far.

“You can always come to me, you know that right?” your hand ran through his hair absentmindedly as his cries calmed down. He nodded against your chest, and as he looked up, you couldn’t help but smile at his red eyes.

He pulled you back into the bed, and you stumbled slightly as you fell on top of him with a soft noise of surprise. His arms wrapped around your waist as he buried his face into the crook of your neck. The wetness of his cheeks brushed over your collarbones as he placed shaky kisses to your skin.

You let him make his way up from your neck to your chin until finally, he was pulling you down to press his lips to yours. You gave into him easily as his tongue pressed your lips apart. His hands never roamed below your waist, but his fingers slid under your shirt to gently brush over the bare skin of your lower back.

You knew his taste very well, and you knew this wouldn’t be the last night you kissed him like this. You pulled back just far enough for his lips to lean forward to search for yours again. You smiled softly, giving in and pressing lingering kisses to his lips until he finally let out a pleased sigh.

“See you in the morning,” you whispered to him, and he hummed sleepily as he curled into you.

There’d be more nights like this, sharing tearful kisses and depending on each other’s loneliness. Eventually, the two of you would need to come to terms with your relationship, whatever it was. But for now, you breathed in Kuroo’s scent and closed your eyes.

You could forget that you were lonely, for tonight, the night after that, and the night after that.

We'll live all night long And we can go home after This is all done and keep hoping for more

#kuroo tetsuro #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo tetsurou angst #kuroo tetsurou imagines #kuroo tetsurou scenarios #haikyuu angst #haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #kuroo imagines #kuroo scenarios

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cienie-isengardu · 3 years

Note

Can you do headcanons on SubScorp (Kuai Liang / Hanzo Hasashi) and the evolution of their relationship, please? ♡

Sure, just please keep in mind that rock has a better romantic sense than I ever will. I’m not a shipper in general and SubScorp has a lot to overcome in my mind to even get close as friends but I will do my best! In advance, sorry for the long text and especially opening. My hand slipped but I needed to build the romantic headcanons on something.

Oh, and I kinda threw away the canon timeline here and there and went with how I would write their relationship (and story, I guess) if I was given the chance.

At the beginning, Hanzo and Kuai were bitter enemies and their hate for each other was the exact reason why Quan Chi kept them working together. The revenants were creatures of vivid emotions, twisted and corrupted by Netherrealm fire. So the stronger they hated, the mightier were their unnatural powers. But there was also a more sinister reason: Quan Chi kept them together, day after day, because it amused him to watch how Sub-Zero and Scorpion wanted to hurt each other but always were defenseless against his magic, always blindly obedient. To have two deadliest of enemies as slaves under his power was the best perk of necromancy.

When they were revenants though, Quan Chi’s cruel joke meant nothing. Kuai Liang had no free will, no remorse, only hate and pain to go on. Hanzo could - should - run away, but didn’t. He was broken in thousands of little ways and it was easier to follow orders, to not think than take responsibility for his own choices, to face the utterly devastating feeling of failure. It wasn't a good life - it wasn’t a life at all, but it was all they had.

After so many days turned into weeks turned into months, the constant presence of each other became the punishment and the salvation at once. They hated each other and this hate never truly left them for a moment, never let them feel peace of mind. They hated each other but it was an emotion that bonded them together, grounded in reality, made sense in an otherwise senseless world.

Hanzo and Kuai Liang got used to each other that the presence of mutual disdain was as normal part of their cursed life as breathing for a living person.

But then Quan Chi lost and suddenly they both were brought to life against their will. The first weeks were the worst. They were victims of dark magic, everyone was saying but none of them was a killer responsible for thousands of brutal deaths. Not like Hanzo and Kuai Liang and because of that, the burden of guilt was their alone. A burden they didn’t want to share among themselves, so they sought out different paths to find some solace.

For Hanzo, there was nothing to come back. The home of Shirai Ryu was destroyed, devastated beyond any measure. He still heard clearly Quan Chi’s voice in his head, how he failed his clan, how shamed his wife and child. Hanzo felt dirty and unworthy and utterly lost. The once mighty Scorpion was now a wreck, a directionless nomad.

For Kuai Liang, the home was Lin Kuei but it was taken by cyber monsters without souls. Once he returned to living, those monsters hunted him restlessly. For years he ran and hid and killed and killed and killed and killed until he was ready to face Sektor and reclaim what was once his. An honor and a purpose in life, so he could find Scorpion and kill him for brother’s death. But then he learned dark secrets of the clan and even darker truths that changed everything.

Because of that, Kuai Liang invited Hanzo to Lin Kuei Temple, offered peace and a new start, a way to atone for all crimes and sins they committed arm to arm during war. Above everything else, offered the truth that finally set them both free from their cruel past.

They did not keep in touch then though. They met sporadically, when Raiden asked his Champions to assist in this or that little crisis. To hunt the demons that somehow survived the war, to find oh so rare, mystic artifact or two, or do a quick job in the Outworld. They were assassins after all and Special Forces the heroes who shouldn’t dirty their hands.

During those meetings, Hanzo and Kuai Liang tried to stay as far as possible without making a fuss about it. During missions though there was no one who could safely separate them, and thus save them from painful memories of the past.

It was terrifying to Hanzo how much he missed Sub-Zero’s cold presence at his side, even if the so well known hate for Bi-Han’s death still hid beneath the cryomancer's skin like a furious, wild beast, always present, never forgiving, kept in check only by Lin Kuei’s iron will.

It was terrifying for Kuai Liang how well he still understood Scorpion’s body language even though the ninja tried so desperately to hide scars left by Quan Chi on his soul, all those unsaid horrors he experienced, all the doubts and pain and self-hatred that burned as hot as Netherrealm fire that twisted them both.

But those sporadic joint missions alone weren’t what helped them connect once and forever.

Ironically, it was the guilt that let one understand so well the other, to know when it was a good time for jab and when not to speak - not to see - raw pain that both so hard tried to bury under their respective masks, of cold politeness and hot devotion to the past. Surprisingly, it was also the arrogance of united governments that wanted to use them to expand Earthrealm’s control over wild Outworld yet did not see them as human beings. To be seen as a useful tool but never truly welcome wasn’t anything new for any of them. Kuai Liang and Hanzo were a relic of a dark past that should have died years ago yet were too stubborn to just yield and blindly follow orders even again. This burning desire for independence and search for their lost humanity built a common ground, the bridge between past hate and empathy.

This, and their shared disdain for Johnny’s never ending jokes. In the past, every time the Champions of Earthrealm met in the same place and Cage opened his mouth to talk Hollywood's weirdness, Hanzo got closer and closer to Kuai Liang. There was no word of recognition or permission - one look at each other and they understood perfectly it was either stay strong together and endure this senseless, annoying wave of words or do something regrettable.

And because they already had enough guilt to worry about, Sub-Zero and Scorpion simply stood arm to arm, like they did during war. Somehow that comforting familiarity grew up into something much stronger; not yet friendship but unity anyway. Time did not heal them but the mutual hate faded little by little, day after day until pain was nothing more than bitter ache they simply learned to live with.

Despite everything and everyone, Hanzo and Kuai Liang got to trust each other, to rely on a bond that was once a cruel Quan Chi’s joke.

Sub-Zero was the person that accompanied Hanzo to the Shirai-Ryu clan’s ruins, so he could finally bury dead ones left there forgotten by the world. Hanzo should have done that long ago, he knew, but the claw of fear clung to his heart for years and would not let it. The fear that Hanzo Hasashi never truly existed and he was a fraud, another lie begotten by Netherrealm. That there was no Harumi nor Satoshi and in the end he clinged so desperately to a nightmare that never was true to begin with. A nightmare for which he murdered the wrong person and brought someone else this maddening pain.

Seeing the ruins of home - the once so familiar bodies now just flesh spread out, glistening bones scattered everywhere, ripped and crushed, forgotten - was like dying again. Hanzo broke down and for the first time in a decade allowed himself to cry. Kuai Liang was there by his side, offering no wise words, nor comfort. He simply sat there, back to back with Hanzo, so he could know he wasn’t truly left alone this time yet quietly like a shadow to not disturb his grief. Hanzo would never forget this kindness for the rest of his life. He wouldn’t forget the sacrifice made that day by Sub-Zero to come to mortuary ruins, to bury another clan slaughtered without mercy in the name of madness and spite.

But with pain came also relief, that his memories were truly his and not another sweet lie whispered to his ear by a twisted sorcerer.

(Kuai Liang came here because it was the right thing to do. To pay respect and melt the dark past into a better future in which Shirai Ryu and Lin Kuei could be an ally, maybe even brothers in arms. He came for Hanzo, because no one did that for him, when he had countless bodies of comrades to bury after Sektor’s defeat and no one should be forced to do so alone. He came there also for himself, to see and be sure Bi-Han wasn’t part of the heartless crime. The hallmarks of a frontal attack, chaotic destruction and coarse, devoid of surgical precision violence were proof it wasn’t Bi-Han’s work. His brother would never be so sloppy, so random in his attack. He even told so Hanzo, in this moment of relief and social clumsiness and Scorpion just looked at him with the reddened eyes and did not burst in flame of anger, just… accepted the truth and Kuai Liang said no more about it.)

Scorpion was the person that stayed at Kuai Liang’s side when Frost betrayed her master and disappeared without a trace. He never liked the cryomancer girl - she reminded him too much of Sub-Zero who sought him for brother’s death. Young and brash, untamed, always snarling, spitting with venom in their face. But above everything else, Frost’s anger burned too hot like his own and he hated to look at her and to see himself.

Maybe losing such a precious student - an heir - was like losing a child. Hanzo understood this crushing feeling but there were no right words to offer. Even if he knew them, Sub-Zero did not want pity, did not want to talk. All he needed was a space to unleash fury and pain, the excess of emotions too large to bury them in the tomb of a cold heart. And so day after day, night after night, the ice and fire clashed over and over again until all muscles burned and the ache brought finally some peace. Not much, but enough to let Kuai Liang not dwell on his failure and focus on Grandmaster’s duties.

(There was something off about this whole situation but Hanzo couldn’t pick on what exactly. Kuai Liang had secrets he didn’t share, not yet and Hanzo respected his wishes, trusting Lin Kuei’s word. So far, Kuai Liang never had let him down. Scorpion trusted and it was terrifying on its own).

Those were the little steps into a path that brought them closer. It wasn't love for each other then, not even romantic infatuation, but love for the lost one, for family that was once but no longer. They understood this grief too well.

The first time Hanzo felt the pang of love, he and Kuai Liang were debating about the proper course of the upcoming mission. They were sitting in Hanzo’s room, with an open door leading to the Fire Garden. Then, without warning came spring rain and both looked out on instinct. The air was filled with the freshness of trees and flowers coming back to life; a freshness they breathed in greedily to wash out the taste of Netherrealm ash forever.

On that day, everything seemed to be in the right place. Just the two of them, sitting arm to arm delighted by the simplest things in life; a warm rain, nourishing garden, a steaming mug of tea between all of this. There was a peace Hanzo did not feel for ages and the sound of the rain and steady breath of his companion lulled him into half-sleep, half-awareness.

On that day, Hanzo wished to keep this moment forever.

The second time Hanzo felt something toward Kuai Liang, it was on Lin Kuei’s training ground. They spared, like they always did in their free or stressful time, but for whatever reason, Kuai Liang smiled at him, this soft, weirdly cocky smile he rarely shows in company and Hanzo looked at it for a few seconds too long before he understood how fast his heart beat, how warmness filled him - not the Netherrealm fire that burns through his muscles and bones, but warmth that he felt only around his wife and child. He wanted to kiss those lips, to feel its coldness on his own. It was wrong on so many levels and he did what he always does in times of overwhelming emotions he didn’t like. He disappeared into flames and ran the hell away from Sub-Zero’s smile. The burned holes to this day were the proof of his shameful panic.

Where did such obscene thoughts come from, he did not have an idea. But the guilt for having them even for a moment about Kuai Liang - any man, really - was too heavy, too suffocating to face Sub-Zero. So Hanzo avoided him for weeks.

And yet, he came back to Lin Kuei Temple. And again and again and again. Despite the burning shame, he sought out Kuai Liang, because only around him, the Netherrealm’s cursed fire cooled down enough to allow him to breathe.

So he danced, between disgrace and this weird feeling of happiness, of living again. Of seeking out the cryomancer and running away from horrific emotion he didn’t know how to get rid off, how to tame.

(Hanzo loved Harumi with all his heart. How could he love - desire - anyone else? And a man whose brother he unjustly killed?)

Kuai Liang decided to not discuss Scorpion’s emotional swings until Hanzo figured it out for himself what he truly wanted. There was no point to get involved into some sentimental drama if there was no hope for sensible agreement.

The Lin Kuei always desired a new generation of warriors, so sex wasn’t any taboo. Some warriors sought comfort in the arms of strange women and men, some between each other. Sex wasn’t forbidden but the emotions were. To feel loyalty or worse, love, to a fellow warrior instead of trusting the masters was a crime.

Kuai Liang did not feel any sudden pang of love toward Hanzo, nor any desire for physical contact. Romanticism never was part of any cryomancer’s nature. He missed his brother and Smoke, but year after year the pain of loss dulled enough to leave him with nothingness. Kuai Liang knew only this: somehow Scorpion became the only source of warmth that kept his heart from freezing completely.

Kuai Liang didn’t have a proper name for what twirled in his soul - a friendship or a love, how one could tell those apart? He wished his older brother or Smoke was there to tell him it was alright to like - care for - Hanzo, but both were dead and twisted into monsters. It was just him and his fragile, scarred heart to judge what was right and what was not. And hope Bi-Han would forgive him the weakness.

They find the balance that keeps both safe, warming the frozen heart and cooling down the neverending flame of anger. For a decade or so, it worked well.

But then Hanzo killed Quan Chi and ruined the chance to free revenants from sorcerer’s curse. The Champions of Earthrealm never liked Scorpion to begin with, now he was persona non grata. Rightly so. Imprisoned, he awaited their judgment. Scorpion could easily escape but chose not to - he was ready to face the consequences yet there was no court nor punishment. The Grandmaster of Lin Kuei came for him and made it clear to all representatives of the united governments and army that he will with Hanzo at his side, over their dead bodies if need be.

Twenty years was not enough time to forget what they together were capable of in fight. How dangerous and experienced murderers they were. No one dared to stop them when they left military base together.

Kuai Liang did not rely on words to show his feelings. Deeds always spoke more than any pretty speech. He was disappointed yet he still came for Hanzo. He saw Scorpion’s arrogance, egoism, breaking point and still came and that only made Hanzo love him more. For the first time, he did not feel shame or guilt for loving - and being loved - by another man.

Hanzo Hasashi’s choice almost brought destruction to the world yet somehow, this tragedy made them inseparable for good. It wasn’t always easy - they argued, for fun and for real and there were still rare days when it was only wise to stay away from each other. Like the day of Bi-Han’s unjust death and the lost chance to bring Harumi and Satoshi to life. They were beyond the primal hate yet some instincts were too strong to risk destroying what they built for themselves over the years.

Somehow through the years they changed from Sub-Zero and Scorpion to Grandmasters of their respective clans and from those to just Kuai Liang and Hanzo.

Hanzo wasn’t used to being so casually called by name but he liked the change. It was Sub-Zero’s voice, he suspected, that made him feel so attracted. At the same time, he felt honored when Kuai Liang told his birth - forbidden - name. He knew it already, for years, but it was different to know and be told, allowed, to use it freely.

Hanzo’s turbulent relationship with other Champions got worse once his student, Takeda started dating Jaqueline Briggs. The Champions distrusted and disliked him and he didn’t feel any need to reconcile with them. Kuai Liang was disappointed in him for treating the girl coldly but everytime asked why he still bothered to deal with Shirai Ruy Grandmaster, the answer was one and the same - he is my equal. For Hanzo it was the most beautiful and terrifying declaration.

(At the same time, everytime Hanzo heard someone accusing Sub-Zero of being cold, heartless, untouched by trauma, the anger burned him wholly. Who were they to judge, to mock Kuai Liang’s pain that hid so well under polite words and calmness? He did not care what people said about him, but would not stand any mockery against those he respected - loved - so much.)

Then of course another immortal being decided to screw up everything and messed up timelines. The younger, brash and mad version of Scorpion wasn’t something that Hanzo and Kuai Liang actually wanted to see, nor the repeat of Cyber Lin Kuei. Then Hanzo died and woke up, again trapped in Netherrealm. So he ran at the first chance, thinking more about Kuai Liang than about his own fears of burning alive in hell forever. The sight of Sub-Zero in hell should have alarmed him - and it did, for a moment, scare Hanzo that the other man died too which was an unbearable thought. But Kuai Liang was alive and so, so determined to bring him back home. If that wasn’t the loudest, the most tangible declaration of love, what else could it be?

And so, like twenty years ago, they fight side to side, like one body and soul. And destroyed, killed, tore apart demons and hellspawn, everything and everyone that stood in their way to freedom, to safety of Earthrealm’s boundaries. First time in ages, they could unleash their anger at those who hurt them, enslaved, and used. It felt so good, so right to be a storm of vengeful fury that frightened even the mighty Netherrealm. They were alive and together and nothing, no gods, titans or destiny, could stop them.

Kuai Liang and Hanzo did not talk much about their last visit in Netherrealm. What happened there was their and only their moment to relish, incomprehensible for bystanders. It was weird though, to come back to live and face his younger, stubborn self. Kuai Liang did not like this Scorpion much and to be honest, Hanzo did not like this version of himself too. It was Scorpion from the darkest time in their past, when only mutual hate connected them. At the same time, there was something amusing to see himself so awkward and uneasy everytime when Kuai Liang and older Hanzo sat so closely, relaxed and calm, like it was the normalest thing to do. When they acted like halves of the same soul.

Kuai Liang never was keen to show any romantic gestures but sometimes he took Hanzo’s hand to emphasize clearly what they were. Hanzo was always surprised by Sub-Zero’s openness and filled with joy, whereas his younger self was confused as hell. Hanzo suspected he would soon need to talk and explain to his younger self what he and Kuai Liang were to each other. Why they needed each other so much and how loving someone else other than Harumi was not dishonor. After all, love wasn’t sin nor weakness.

#mortal kombat #my replies #kuai liang #hanzo hasashi #sub zero #scorpion #my headcanons #long text #not sure if this is enough about romantic aspect of their relationship #and i will forever see kuai liang as asexual aromantic sorry not sorry at all #hanzo is emotional wreck #kuai is depressed and somehow they could work i guess?#thank you for ask!#i have more to say about the mk11 storyline but the text was already too long to bring bi han into the emotional life of his lil bro

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thisisgonnafuxkinkillme · 3 years

Text

Light Under The Door

MAJOR TW FOR SELF HARM!

Au where Deku dies oops-

Warnings: angst, self harm, main character death

You first realized something was wrong when he wore long sleeves at home as well as at work. Usually, as soon as he got through the door, he’d ditch that uncomfortable looking yellow suit and don one of his much-too-large shirts, or sometimes even just skip into his flannel pajamas.

For a good week, though, he had been choosing to wear his loose fitting winter shirts to bed and even while he relaxed at home.

That wouldn’t have been overly strange on its own, all except that it was in the middle of summer.

That, and he’d always slink away when you grabbed for his wrist or sleeve. He’d pretend as if it were nothing, and you believed him.

That was until you got home from the store a little earlier than expected. His car was outside, so he was definately home, but the house was utterly and totally silent.

You should have at least been able to hear him clicking away at his keyboard, or sipping some tea, or watching television.

You silently placed your bags down, approaching the bathroom door quietly. You heard quiet hisses and hiccups from just beyond the door.

It was unlocked and open a crack. You knocked quietly, calling out to him.

“Toshi, are you alright?”

He gasped, dropping something and audibly scrambling for the door.

He peered out of the crack and into your eyes.

“I’m fine,” he breathed, flashing a fake smile. He tried to close the door the rest of the way, but you put your foot in between the door and the frame, stopping it.

He didn’t fight back. As you entered the scene, he hunched himself against the wall and covered his face. All he was wearing was a pair of boxers.

Your breath hitched as you saw what was going on. Upon seeing the abandoned razorblade and tiny droplets of blood, you knew.

"Don't...don't say anything. I already know," he grimaced, shaking his head. He’d struggled with self harm before, way back in his youth, but thankfully kicked the habit. Well, for the most part. One thing he always hated was being scolded for it, or being told how utterly stupid he is for doing something so harmful to himself.

It just reminded him of how he lets them down. How he let you down. Himself.

Him.

You held back tears. It's your turn to be strong now. For him.

You firmly grabbed him by his upper arm.

"Baby, look at me. Look at me," you breathed shakily. He did so, revealing his tear stained, ashamed face. He'd been hiding this for a long while. You could tell that much by the look in his eyes and his clenched jaw.

Your heart panged. This isn't him.

"I...I know you think..." He warbled, his voice cracking before breaking again.

"I don't think anything, baby boy. It's okay. It's alright. Just breathe for a second for me, okay?"

He slumped pitifully into your embrace, letting himself sob relentlessly into your shoulder. You weren’t exactly sure what to do with his bloodied body other than hold him there, for a moment or two.

His upper thighs, which you’d expect to be pale and pasty like the rest of his body, were instead covered in shades of reds and pinks where he had freshly harmed himself, and in browns and purples where he had allowed the lines to scar over.

His arms, too, were covered with these sickeningly familiar scars as well as freshly bloodied lines carved across his flesh.

He’d definitely been hiding this from you for a while. A long while, at that.

You whispered in his ear, “Oh, baby...you don’t deserve any of this...”

He clutched at your clothes, balling up the material in his fists.

“you...you wouldn’t say that if...” he let go of you.

He couldn’t escape it. The scream. The blood. The utter helplessness.

His face.

He hit himself in the head, trying to knock the memory out of his mind.

You grabbed both of his wrists. This utter violence would have scared you anyways, but with it directed towards someone you loved so much, it was terrifying.

“I’ve killed people! They’re dead!” he screamed.

“You didn’t kill anyone, Toshinori! What-”

“No! They-he- died right in front of me!” he sobbed, collapsing into the floor in front of you.

He gritted his teeth.

“I couldn’t even show my face at their...at his funeral...”

You held in your own cry, remembering when it all happened. It was so fast. No one could have predicted it.

In the end, the boy had saved a classmate, but at the cost of his own life.

Toshi was at the scene, screaming for him, but it was too late. He was gone in an instant.

For weeks afterward, he didn’t leave his bedroom. He barely ate. What he did eat was just what you’d nearly force down his throat to keep him breathing. He just laid there, in the bed you shared, with the curtains drawn and his phone turned off, for entirely too long.

It absolutely killed you to see him like this. What killed you more, though, was when the boy’s mom wouldn’t stop calling, texting, and even knocking at the door. She would sob words of forgiveness, begging you to please tell him that she wasn’t angry at him for breaking that promise they made not so long ago. To tell him that something like this would’ve happened even if they’d never met.

To tell him that it wasn’t his fault. That she didn’t blame him.

But no matter how much she pleaded, you just couldn’t talk to him about it. Whenever you so much as brought up her name, or mentioned anything alluding to...him...Toshi would just break down.

Just like he was now.

You took his face in both of your palms, gritting your teeth and making him look at you.

He could barely see you holding back tears of your own through his blurred eyes.

“It was not your fault.” You asserted.

“...but-“

“It was not your fault.”

“I could have... he...”

“No. You didn’t kill that boy. Nothing you could’ve done would have stopped what happened from happening.”

Toshinori looked into your eyes, replaying that scene in his mind.

He couldn’t have magically teleported in front of that car. A healing quirk, nor any amount of surgeries or doctors could have undone the severe internal damage that it caused.

It was an utter accident.

He closed his eyes, squeezing the memory out of his brain. The blood was what haunted him the most. It was everywhere. More than he’d ever seen in his entire life, even being a pro hero for a good portion of his life and seeing horrific crimes.

The boy’s eyes glazed over mere moments after the collision, not even able to speak or respond to the rush of people surrounding him. Toshi had to essentially fight his way between the hoards of onlookers to get close to him. To stroke his cheek. To tell him that it was okay to go.

That he was a hero.

That he was proud of him.

He closed his eyes, taking a shaky breath and holding your hand to his chest. Your heart ached as you noted his shaky, skinnied fingers.

“You don’t deserve any of this, honey,” you repeated, bringing his head to your chest and stroking his hair. He was done crying. He just needed you.

His breathing calmed down after a good while of keeping him there, just existing with him for these moments without criticism and without judgement.

“Toshi, can you let me clean you up a little?” You murmured. He nodded silently.

“But... please don’t... I-I... just...” he muttered as you stood up.

“I’m not going to judge you, baby. It’s okay. I’m going to make sure you didn’t go too deep, and just help the bleeding stop. I’m not going to judge you for anything,” you assured him. His lower lip quivered and he nodded again. You left, grabbing the first aid kit and a bottle of water.

First, you handed him the water, instructing him to drink. He tried to refuse at first, protesting that he was fine, but after a little coercion, he took a little sip. Later, that sip turned into thirsty gulps. The bottle was nearly empty when he was done.

He was definitely thirstier than he thought.

These days, it was easy to ignore what his body needed. Hunger passed eventually, and so did thirst, and so did pain. Rather than deal with the issue, he’d usually just ride out the discomfort. He just couldn’t find it in him to care anymore.

So, for now, you had to do it for him.

You gently inspected his wounds. You sighed with relief as you noticed that he hadn’t gone deep enough to need a trip to the hospital for stitches.

He winced as the astringent met with his raw flesh, but you were there to soothingly comfort him with gentle touches and praise.

Soon, he was all bandaged up. He looked up at you, reaching for your cheek. He mouthed a thank you before placing a tiny kiss on your other hand. You kissed him on the forehead in return, helping him stand up and walk into the bedroom, assisting him to ease under the comforter and switched off the light before joining him.

You two coiled into one another, each warming the other’s body gently. Your breaths synced up harmoniously as you both drifted into a much needed afternoon nap.

When you woke up, there was no interrogating. No demanding to know where all his razor blades were hidden. No begging him to seek therapy.

You knew what struggling was like. None of that would help in the end. It’d only push him deeper into his own darkness.

So you settled on doing what you felt that you needed when you were in the same place he was: simply being there for him, and being ready with open arms to take on his problems when he couldn’t bear them any longer.

And he couldn’t.

Not on his own, anyways.

———

The next morning, when you woke up, Toshi was waiting for you in the kitchen. He’d already made you your favorite coffee and some honeyed toast.

After you ate, he gently took your hand.

“Will you help me with something?”

You nod, smiling sweetly.

He looked away. Shame burned his soul.

“They’re hidden in the medicine cabinet, in a box all the way in the back. Please, can you... get rid of them for me?” He whispered. You nodded.

“Are there any more?” You gently question. He shook his head, sighing.

“I’m really sorry for all of this trouble I’ve put you through...” he apologized. He was trying his best to stay strong, to appear okay and unbothered, but his voice was already cracking a little.

You shake your head.

“Don’t be sorry. I’m happy I can be here for you. I’m going to go take care of that for you now, okay?”

He nodded.

———

Recovery was slow but steady. You never asked if or when he relapsed, but when he’d lock himself in the bathroom, you couldn’t help but freeze and wonder if he was hurting himself.

But soon, his scars started to heal. He began wearing t shirts again. He started to laugh a little bit more.

And finally, he took Inko’s call.

You didn’t hear their full conversation, and you didn’t wish to eavesdrop. What you did know, though, was how different he was once he hung up from that call that lasted a good three hours.

He was lighter.

It was as if he’d been carrying an earth shattering weight on his back for centuries, and finally was just able to put it down.

He slowly became himself again, the darkness fading away at the touch of the warm sunlight within him.

——

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