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yearningwords · 2 years

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Seasonal Feels

Spring~

Spring comes with a suffocating fragrance of newly cut grass and flowers in bloom. The winter carpet are long gone. The Sun’s rays bullying the white carpet to melt itself, now replaced by the small green grasses with colourful dots of flowers.

Butterflies and bees buzz around the fields, roaming in a dance unknown to the world. In a rhythm of their own, they sway tirelessly through miles for nectar. An incentive for them so more flowers can bloom till the summer heat mercilessly takes them away.

I hate spring. Everything takes on a colourful cheer. Everything’s painted in a light that is so bright its blinding.

Its suffocating, fake and everything I cannot stand. Maybe it’s only me. I love the scorching sun, the dampen monsoon, the awkward autumn air or the icy winters.

Sadly for the love of me, I cannot stand the mellow spring. Its the season of new beginnings, of hopes, of bloom. For me it is a season of endings. Its the Monday of the week - the end for me, where it is a beginning for the others.

Still sitting alone in my room surrounded by books its comfortable.

If I close all the windows, draw the curtains, turn on my desk light, no one can tell me what season it is right outside my window. The air in my room and the air outside don't mingle. Thus I, in my own cocoon am spared of the pollens and dusts that would others tickle and bind me in my bed for weeks.

Yes, I don't like spring because of the innumerable hardships that come along with it. For the butterflies they are incentives for me its an unnecessary nuisance.

In my little shelter, I can leisurely dream. Dream of you and how you would be here with me in my shelter. Spending this season in my arms for now the weather is comfortable to lay together and not be frozen by the cold nor be sweaty from the heat.

You like spring. It brings you freedom, You love walking the meadows - barefooted wearing a flowing dress, A straw hat adorning your head and your curls freely just soaking all the sun rays - free and floaty. Just like you...

Something I’m not, so shackled by the everything, I can never run alone in the fields, too paranoid of unknown things, that might trip me over. Everyday I dream of the coldness that was an old friend that left my hand so soon, now as the weather heats up so does my fever of wanting to be with you.

Maybe soon, this feverish temptations that keeps rising with each frozen bud that gets defrosted by the sun will burn me and I wont have to live with the consequences of my own actions.

As I lay on my bed, sprawled without a care, a sudden urge to look at the fields rises up like the waves on the beach. I stand up, finally opening the blinds (for the first time today).

The windows open with a creak and right there I could see the fields rolling over the landscape, only sloping into the horizon at the far end. There were only a few scattered clouds on the plain azure sky.

Pleasant, everything felt pleasant almost hushed. The air came rushing into my small sanctuary replacing all the little whispers of wishes that I had mumbled into the room. The inside and the outside are linked now mingling as one.

The window became a tunnel, I stepped closer to the scenery outside.

Ah! Yes there you were, right there in the fields. Tranquility seeped from your silhouette as you danced around in the long grasses. You don't look like you have your shoes on, I look a bit further and there they were near the big apple tree.

Twirling around you seem to be one with the butterflies that came fluttering by around you, as if you were a nymph of the valley.

Slowly after doing a full circle you sat done right on the grass, its probably soft, the mud not too hardened but not too mushy. There were many dandelions though still white, later they’ll fill the fields giving it a golden hue.

I sit down, gazing at you from afar, its nice. A sharp pang hits my chest but I ignore it for now, I'm used to it over the years. Yet, I look down where you now sat fiddling with daisies. You were making something by the looks of it. You're nimble fingers worked away at something. Probably something cute, you always have liked making small trinkets and decorations.

Time seems to stop for a moment, as if taking a breath after aeons of staying underwater. You look up from down the fields, and as if a deer caught in the headlights I sit there with my heart pounding loudly. It wasn't something new, this looking, yet I felt ashamed, caught in an act that was forbidden.

Still looking at me, you're eyes captivating me not to look away, you tore a dandelion from your vicinity. Without looking away you blew it in my direction.

The winds change. A gust of wind blows right in my face, it feels like I'm near the helipad when it takes off. The dandelions stray everywhere, yet one lone seedling floats over the valley, right into my room. As if directed in a movie, it lands on the diary that I kept to write everything down. The one that had words that haven't reached you yet, but I want them to.

I watch its path as if lands there, I look back and you are no longer there in the fields. My heart is still pounding ever so loudly, I'm afraid that even the apple tree can hear it.

Suddenly there is a knock on the door, with eyes wide open in apprehension I open it. There you were in person, a soft olive green dress with your hair open and tennis shoes. Your brown eyes sparkled more than ever like moonstones in starlight.

Stunned I just stand there, a few beats pass. You walk in bypassing me and jump on the unmade bed. It almost feels like I walked into your room and note the other way around. To be honest everything I have already has your name etched on it.

Your eyes dart over my room, you seem to be searching for something and finally they land on the lone dandelion that lay peacefully over the brown diary. You pick it up, silently you look over as if asking for permission.

I can only silently nod, for everything else seems to have frozen. The world holds its breath again. The sound of turning pages as your fingers glide over the pages that held some of the overflowing emotions that needed a container for the past years. Gently you turned them, your fingers seem to be soaking those feelings.

Silently I watch, with trepidation of the worst. I can almost feel the tears that are just waiting for the guillotine to drop for them to take over like a broken dam.

Minutes pass as you carefully look over the pages, your face never giving away your feelings. Yet, your eyes seem to glaze over. I cannot stand this anymore, I walk around. I close the door. Coming around to where you sat, I sat myself on the chair.

If the storm came at least I could close the windows and keep the storm inside now.

Though the storm never came.

The last page turns and you look at me. “All this? About Me?” You speak in a whisper. My throat felt dry, words shrivelled up on my tongue. I nod.

Your face morphs into something softer than before. Youre eyes not half moon presents but a small smile slips by. My heart still pounds away.

I walk over, the bed bounces a bit as I sit at the corner. Still not satisfied it seems, you pull me, as the mattress dips I fall by your side. Every inch of my side is touching you. Is this what they say that the sinner bursts into flames when an angel touches them?

You pull something from behind you, it was a daisy crown. I hadn’t noticed in my anxious state the small jewellery you had made. Its beautiful just like you.

You pull me down and place it on my head. Happy you smile brightly now, while I can only blush. You aren’t done it seems, taking another smaller piece of work, you ask for my hand.

It takes while for my brain to catch up to your gestures. Flustered I out my right hand out, you grasp it with your left hand and slowly out the ring with a single daffodil adorning the top.

The tears flow freely now as I look at my hands clasped in yours where you wear the same ring of daffodil.

Before I know it, you held me in your arms, so serene. The room now filled with a pleasant silence now.

Finally I could hold you in my arms knowing you are mine. We both know it now. I look at your eyes, the silence posing the question. You nod.

And I kissed you there in the room overlooking the dandelion filled fields.

“Mine” I asked.

“Yours” you replied.

------------------------------->The End<---------------------------------

#sapphic #spring writings #omgitsfinished #love her #love #so dont mind the mistakes #wlw pride #in love #writers on tumblr #seasons #wlw story #word aesthetic #prose writing #lovers

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yearningwords · 2 years

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Seasonal Feels

Winter~

Winter comes with hopes frozen in time, a suspension of sadness. The white serenity only brings happiness, freezing the cold in our hearts.

Cold puffs in front of our faces - our own personalised clouds. You walked alongside me as the snow carpets our path ahead - as if we were celebrities on a white carpet. Well, you're certainly pretty enough to be a movie star, I wouldn’t be surprised if you end up on a billboard with you're own parade of cameras.

A bunch of small kids run past us as we walk by, the Christmas bells jingle in the background, its very lively. Suddenly you take out your gloved hands from your long puffy overcoat, theres a dangerous twinkle in your eyes. Cautious I glance at you sideways, your smile spreads in your face and you wrap your hands roundly arm...and drag me while you break in a run.

Exhilarating is what I would describe it as, i’m sure you saw the little kids and wanted to run like them, but was too shy to do it by yourself. I would’ve thought that, but all I could think of was the searing warmth on my skin where you held and dragged me. Amidst the coldness that enraptured us, you were the fireplace - keeping the house warm.

As we ran, the snow sloshed around our boot clad feet, making us more tired than usual and our breathes became haggard, my legs felt like lead.

The stretch of land where we usually ran every season felt longer, slowly - from the cold or the pang in my chest as I remembered your smile for the flutist playing in the town centre. It was brighter than the star on the top of the Christmas tree.

A blackness seized my vision slowly, starting from where you ran ahead, as I stood for a second to catch my breath, your handprint on my coat felt colder than the rest of my skin. That was the last I remembered before sinking down in to the snowy sea.

A few moments or maybe an hour later, I felt someone jostling me up, I opened my eyes slowly to see your face right in front of me, your eyes were worried and you had a scrunch in your eyebrows and your mouth was turned down. You were worried, your eyes quickly darted all over my face as if I were a marble piece and you were trying to find the cracks in them.

I couldn’t help the smile that forced itself on my face, you looked so cute right there. I ask you stop for any longer than these fleeting moments and I’d be lost again, this iciness and the warmth for your fire weathers me down.

The snow flakes fall it gets caught in your eyelashes, from where I lay I finally realise your caging me in. I detangle my arm and try to sit up, you shuffle back with furrowed eyebrows, the annoyance in your eyes still there. Wordlessly we sit in silence, just staring at each other as snowflakes dance down from the cloudy white sky. Our bottoms are probably wet from the snow underneath but who cares, this moment where I can shamelessly look at you wont come back again and who’s going to miss such a chance?

You outstretch your hands, prompting me up from my sitting position. Slowly I get up using your strength to stand. You made me stand in the middle and went around a 360 degree evaluation, even dusting the remaining snow from my coat and trousers. My flushed face and hands was definitely from the cold only and not the thought of you caring for me so openly.

You came back in front of me scolding me for not taking care of myself. All that time I was holding back the smile that was fighting to break out, you looked cute right there with you hands curled up in aa fist and your hips jutting out at one side. Puffed up cheeks as you listed the reasons where I should no to others and take care of myself, specially since I was weak to temperature changes. And right there I was trying to reel in the instinct to curl you up in my arms and shush you. Tell you that with you by my side I could never not take care of myself.

Its ironical how you make me forget about myself but you ground me. The one string tying me down lest I would’ve flown away long ago like a helium filled balloon, not even a star in the sky.

After you finish scolding, cutely angrily take my hands and drag us back to my house. As we cross the threshold, you pull my coat down, hanging it on the hooks in the corridor right next to the photo frames. My hand is recaptured in yours as you pulled me to the living rooms and pushed me down on the sofa. With a firm voice, you told me to stay seated and who was I to defy the words of someone I worshipped.

Satisfied by my antics where I bowed at your words you turned back with a skip and a twinkle in your eyes- rivalling the glitter streamers adorning the Christmas tree in the corner of the room by the side of the fireplace, which we had decorated a few days back.

Soon the whistle of a kettle and sounds of cutlery and cutting of coriander and vegetables on a chopping board filled the sounds on the house along with the soft jingles from outside. It was so domestic, the sounds and the smell.

I was alone for a while so I smiled - freely, my eyes probably looked like the ocean on a sunny day - sparkles and blinding.

There were a lot of pillows in the sofa, so I snuggled them up. They were warm. I closed my eyes and imagined you in that autumn evening where had played in my arms. The memory warmed me from my bones and sent a chill down my spine. Even memories of you gave me a whiplash - a hot and cold one.

I blinked my eyes open when you tapped my shoulder. Your curls fell in front of your face covering a side of you face, you smiled so brightly your eyes were but two dots. You were so pretty I felt myself audibly gasp. How beautiful could you be?

You chuckled and pushed me up from my slanted snuggled position. Thats when I noticed, there was a tray on the coffee table by my feet. I could only stare with my mouth open and you smiled at me.

Thats when I noticed the air was filled with the smell of chicken soup and ginger and tea leaves and garlic bread. If I had been I would’ve cried, late that if the tears escaped you would never know.

You gestured and smiled your pearly smile again. As soon as I took a sip, the taste bursted on my tongue, it was warmth in a spoonful of soup. The pepper hit the back of my throat, the butter and the chicken broth floated in a creamy texture and swirled spreading all over my tongue. The flavour spread from my mouth to my tummy and my whole body.

Brave from this warmth I held another spoonful and beckoned you over. Cocking your head to the side, confused, you still came forward. Carefully I advanced the spoon towards you and you took it, you looked proud of your concoction - as you should.

My heart was pounding for a different reason all together.

After finishing the soup and bread and the tea, we cuddled on the coach while watching some volleyball animation. You saddled up to my side with your share of pillows since it was cold you said. I could only thank the seasons as I looked down on you right there by my side. The fire flames crackled giving you the glow of the fairies. The emotions flashing on your face as the show went on the television screen. My heart ached with the love for you.

I could only gaze at you as I wished on the mistletoe by the door that someday I could kiss you under them.

For now I could only cherish these almost stolen memories and document in the archive if my mind to replay in the middle of the night where no light could taint them.

- moni_moonchild

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yearningwords · 3 years

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Seasonal Feels

Autumn~

Autumn comes with a wind so soft and silent like the leaves rustling in the depth of the forest. The red hues and brownish gradient of the land like those of earthen pots and dusty red roads.

I sniff the air, it doesn’t smell too bad just dusty. The whole place seems to be covered in a layer of dust. Unlike summer, there is a stillness but no heat nor is there buzzing of insects. And unlike monsoon theres no rain and no rib-bits of frogs. Just clear skies with tufts of cloud scattered across the azure sky.

Everything’s changed from grey to brown’s and red’s. I wonder if you're going to wear that white dress again, maybe with a sweater and tights, for it is cold. Still this time I'm sure you’d look prettier. The roads match your curls though maybe yours is a richer hue.

The night falls faster than before, spreading its shadowy slivers into every nook and cranny, chasing light away. Still everyone stays awake, with their little pet fires and warm drinks. The winds hasn't changed from the moist winds to a dry chilling ones in winter, but theres a mixture of both - with a hint of cinnamon and spices. The kind that makes you sneeze but want to take another breath to fill yourself with the aroma of the earthly wonders.

Kind of like loving you, its dangerous it leaves a sharp pang of pain but its refreshing in its own way. Warmth laced with icy cold.

A few thoughts alone in the room, under a blanket tracing your silhouette on a priceless photograph, the iciness wins with thoughts of losing you, and you hating me for my sinful ways.

The warmth comes flowing in when you greet me with a smile and hold my hardened hands in your smaller softer ones.

This hot and cold of my heart from you will surely end up in me with fever. If only you came to take care of me, ah. I can imagine it already, as I close my eyes and let the vision take over. Me flushed from the fever and bated breath, while you wipe my forehead with gentle fingers and a cold towel. You softly whisper sweet nothings, telling me it’ll be okay, or maybe you’ll scold me for catching a cold. Ah, why does my heart so fast every time I think of you?

I walk on, theres leaves on the road.

Remember last fall when we collected the leaves of Maple and Gulmohar, we pressed it for a school project. It was so colourful and we laughed later in the summer heat it had cracked and it was turning into dust. I remembered being sad, for losing them when we worked so hard, but you just took my hand and squeezed it and laughed. Your eyes creased into small half moons and your laugh was contagious. I mean how could I not? My heart floats away whenever you smile and you laughing is like a heaven’s gift in this hell.

Walking on them it crunched under my shoes, a childish feeling took over as I jumped on the leaves here and there. And that was when I saw you waiting outside your house by the door. Your eyes lit up in mischief. You look amused.

I gasp out loud, stopping mid-jump. Gorgeous- thats the only word I could feel as I stared at you. *Komorebi - thats how the light fell on you. The Tyndall effect made you look prettier like glitter on an art piece .

You walk to me and my heart elates. Smiling you step on the leaves crunching them, grabbing both my hands, and just like children we jump up and down. Running like crazy in circles. Laughing the quiet afternoon turning into evening filled with screams and giggles.

Then we end up on the leaf carpeted field, rolling around?

I can't remember but one moment we were jumping on leaves and the next we were on the field, looking up at the cluttered cloud and blue sky with specks of red and pink.

Side by side we lay, catching our breathes, then you roll over.

You look down at me and my heart leaps again. No thoughts. There is a silence in my head for once, as I stare and search your eyes. Then you smile and drop your head in the crook of my right shoulder.

Did I wash my hair? Was I smelly after playing for so long? Are you comfortable? These thoughts should’ve gone through my head, but honestly I felt peace.

Right there with you draped halfway and your head on my side, it was the best.

Tentatively I pick my left hand, I hold it limply above your head, confused whether I should place in behind your head. Then I did. And everything felt just right. I notice, your hair is softer than I had ever imagined in those nights.

Silence never seemed so noisy before. All I can hear is my heart thumping agitatedly against my chest. I wonder if you can hear it.

Nevertheless I hear your breathing, trying to gauge out whether you are comfortable. Your breath came regularly, softly and gently just like you. Seems like you fell asleep. I close my eyes too, swimming in the moment.

This isnt the first time I held you, but this intimacy gives me hope. Maybe this can warm me through the upcoming winter. For now, I bask here with you laying on me, sleeping so peacefully.

-yearningwords

*Komorebi, the Japanese expression for the sunlight as it filters through the trees, is made up of the kanji characters for tree (木), shine through (漏れ), and sun (日).

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yearningwords · 3 years

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Seasonal Feels

~Monsoon

Water comes down from the sour skies, its humid. Is it water or is it sweat, I dart my tongue out, its salty. I pull the blinds close, the darkness stays.

Outside theres a storm raging on, who would notice when I have a raging war in my heart and mind. I close my eyes, same darkness.

I listen, theres a noisy silence, kind of like a static or white noise but not exactly. There’s a rumbling, I can't differentiate if its from me or the dark clouds.

Theres water on my cheeks, is it me or the water from the outside invading my sanctuary, no the windows are closed.

Oh. I'm crying again.

Wonder how you would look, with tears around your eyelashes. Maybe blushing from crying, with your messed up hair, more so from usual. Would your curls be smooth and soft or would it be rough? I want to card my fingers through them.

The thunder crackles, I open my eyes. Theres only the soft murmur of the rain.

I look outside, the rain falls from the sky at such a rapid pace. Feels like pieces of the sky are falling square by square. I muse, the rain connecting the sky and the river. The only time the sky and the Earth are one. The damp smell of wet earthen lands, and freshly washed away grass. The trees were rained upon with such vigour the leaves were washed a sparkling green from the parched browning of the summer sun.

I readjust my eyes from the meadows in the far sight to the panes of my cloudy windows. The rain drops seemed so calm and they were the same as those outside. One by one some caught up with themselves and became bigger and fell down, at snails' pace.

The same drops a week back that grazed your soft skin. Each drop holding a treasured memory, a comfort. Each one enraptures the hope of love that sparked when I wiped those drops and you smiled- shy and sweet like the aroma of hot cocoa and milk in the overcast shadowy haze.

When will the rain pour so heavily that I can build a boat and row down to your door. We can sail the seas and look at the sunsets. Not the homely ones with mud caked feet and mosquitos but magical ones out in the ocean with the vast pool of abyss and a sky that stretched across out heads.

The water gushes from the sky like my feelings. Unlike the rain I weep silently and the thunder rumbles outside resonating with my cries and guilt and flashes of lighting like my anger and frustration.

The day I will hold you and kiss you in the rain will be the day a rainbow will shine, till then the world will flood from the rain and my heart with your love.

-yearningwords

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yearningwords · 3 years

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Seasonal Feels

~Summer

Summer comes with sweat and a heat that competes with the blaze of my face when your eyes light up in the sun. Your brown skin glows under the summery haze, are you an angel? With caramel-honey skin and earthen brown eyes. Dark coffee stained curls that twirl and flirt with the soft breezy winds. Your hands soft but caked with mud. Your skin aglow with a sheen of sweat. You smile still, oh and how you smile! Is it the sun or is there a halo around you?

A sweet angel with watermelons and orange juice, sweet but tangy. A white dress or is it flowers, I dont care, you look pretty anyway. Your smile though and fingernails short and blunt, I look at them when you hold my hand and then we run.

We run, with the sun above us and the cotton candy clouds dotted across the blue canvas. The smell of freshly cut grass and the mosquitoes buzzing around our feet. We run with our tied hair flying open and sweaty napes. We run till our breath is no longer under our control, gasping we stop.

Your white dress now see through, from water or sweat. I am probably blushing, I can feel my ears ringing from embarrassment ; I can’t peel my eyes away. I look up and you’re peeking at me, under your eyelashes. Your eyes so innocent and it feels that I am tainting you with such glances. I look away.

You take my hands, your hands are soft and small against mine. It fits perfectly. We stroll across the field near the river. The sun is coming down as if to say playtime is over kids.

You pull me closer, by the hands and we stare over the river, the water muddy and a few crickets chirp, the mosquitoes now wanting their homes back dive at our feet. It is hot and we smell like sweat and dirt.

Still we stand over the muddy river and watch the sunset as if we are watching the sunset from the top of the Empire State Building or the beaches of Dubai.

Still, sunsets with you in that summer haze with the cicadas and flies and your hand held loosely, a fond memory. The warmth of your hand still lingers and maybe later in the night with the fan on full speed and images of your skin soaked shirt. Your smiling face and blunt fingers, the tangy yet sweet flavour. The memories were relived but I imagined and I worshiped you in my dreams.

The next morning, when you held the same hands would you have blushed and ran away if you knew? But you didnt and you smiled.

Just like that the summer heat came and went, and I fell deeper. Was I sinning? Should it be sinning if I was worshipping an angel like you?

I’ll blame it on the summer heat, for now I’ll hold your hand and run through the world to watch the sunsets over the muddy river.

-P.d

#writings on tumblr #writings on love #blame hozier #im 17 and I havent kissed yet #so dont mind the mistakes #god im embarrassed #still I hope this is nice to read #love her #lovers #seasons #writers on tumblr #prose writing #wow I love this energy the tension #word aesthetic #wlw pride #sapphic #wlw story

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yearningwords · 3 years

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Foes 'n friends

Holding onto the edge of

Existence

Fighting for a morsel of luck

And hope

And light…

Friends leave when they like

And come by your side at the happiest of times

When their presence does not make a difference

But when needed…

For even a comforting hand could have saved

A lost longing soul

Into the tracks of inner peace

Soon you’ll see the irony of time

For when needed the thing

Of importance

It is lost

And when found not needed

Suddenly the wind changes

And those you knew have blown past you

While you stand collecting the tiny pieces

Of a broken heart and soul

But they do not realise

Everyone… yes everyone dusts the pieces

Of the broken soul and mind losing another of their kin

Into the doting dark depths of dilemma and depression

Oh! I am sorry they say

As if a sorry could make

The wounds stop bleeding

Stop oozing your deep suffering

Bottled up for decades

And for decades to come as these wound heal and open

And heal and open

They will be capable to hold, tolerate and understand

More suffering and pain from others

And each cell would stop and start and stop longing for the things

You lost and loved and loved and lost

To this wild tornado of emotions

Of fear

Of darkness

Of loneliness

Of love

Of friends…

-P.d

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yearningwords · 3 years

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You fell for me, a coward. All those emotions and words that flowed through me I longed to hold, I grasped them. But a coward like me, she lets them go for the fear of ruining them.

You fell for me, your confession was and is a gust of wind, a burst of sunshine on an overcast monsoon. By surprise, you made me fall but a coward like me lets go.

You held me perfectly, calming and warm, I wanted them all to myself. I despised thinking that you gave this to your friends. A coward like me, she is a jealous weed. I wanted you all to myself.

Your words, your emotions, your time, your laughs and your tears, everything. You are kind, in a way that your fingers nimble dance through everyone’s misery and banishes them. How could I ever think that I could keep you? I am a coward so I ran.

I couldn't believe you were mine and my disbelief led me to think cynically, cowards like me love running you see. So I ran from you before you could tell me it was a joke.

I ran when I felt like I was holding onto you. I ran when you told me your old crush liked you back. I ran when the new boy gave you a school tour. I ran.

Time has stopped for me the day I ran. With cold feet and numbness I ran. Unknowing of the a destination I plodded across the muddy lanes, tired. Should I have ran? Did I need to run? What crime had I committed to need to butcher my feelings?

Oh nothing much, just I had loved. I shouldn’t have loved you. That turmoil of intense emotion that only you were the cause of how could I sit and dream. The longing to hold you gripped me with buff arms and choked me. That breathlessness of falling in love was what I had, but I hadn’t played with your hair nor held your hands.

All I had was that feeling of love but no tangible existence of it. You had fallen for a coward, that was your mistake. Mine was knowing I am one and still loving you.

I am running. The mud up to my knees. I stumble everything is heavy and brown. Not the brown like your eyes in the sunshine, this brown like the bottom of years old food that had been churned and rotting.

Slowly theres a tug at my heart, the icy numbness beats again, I look around, were you near?

You weren’t, instead it was an old graveyard filled with 40 roses. There was no chill for my blood had run cold some time ago, when time had stopped.

I picked up the roses, slowly lest the petals fall off. The red was fringed with brown but I didn't mind, for the roses were proof that you and me had become us, however brief.

The graveyard was dark laden with mist but no softness. It was only filled with a jagged light. How I left with rude words and anger laced with jealousy.

There was only one headstone, it was surrounded by letters and pens. The inscription read our names side by side, seven letters of yours and mine and it looked beautiful.

I realise my first love is you, I had given my heart away on the august winds, under your bright light I had swayed.

I am cold because my heart wasn’t with me, that restlessness that anger that protectiveness it all made sense even just a little. You own my heart.

I hadn’t realised until I ran away. I looked to another one, a source of affection, their words knocked but they never entered. How could they I wasn’t empty you see. I am filled with you.

I walk back from the graveyard, theres no wind here. Just like me, time had stopped here too.

The door I had opened when I ran away, its still open. I cant ask you nor beg you to push it open again. But know that when you turn the knob I will stay here, for me time is stagnant. The only thing that flows is your words, in any form.

I hope for your forgiveness but more than that I hope for your love. At least once more please move the hands of my clock.

I will wait forever for time doesn’t matter.

Forever is a small time if I can spend it with you.

- P.d

#writerscribbles #writerscreed #writerslife #writing by me #writers #writersociety #writers on tumblr #writing #sad poetry #lifelearnedfeelings #lostlove #lost love #love #heartbreak #memories #writersofinstagram #dark academic aesthetic

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