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asklepius2 · 3 months
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I don't like how the birthdays from stardew valley are set up in the real world. Like most of December is in the fall according to the solstice but Sebastian's birthday is winter 10 and we've decided it's December 10th.
Nah, let's give all the characters accurate birthdays in accordance with the seasons.
I'll set it up 2 ways:
1. Taking the earliest dates of each solstice and equinox that defines the seasons and dividing that by 28 (number of days in a stardew valley season) then multiplied that number by the NPC's bday (I'll explain the math later)
2. Taking the average amount of days in-between each IRL season and dividing that by 28
Earliest dates are as follows:
Spring March 19
Summer June 20
Autumn September 21
Winter December 20
The length of each season in this method is
91 days for spring
93 days for summer
90 days for fall
90 days for winter
The average days in between is 91.5 days.
Dividing by 28 we get
3.25 Spring
3.32142857 Summer
3.2142857 Autumn / Winter
3.267857142857143 Average
These numbers are the difference between our real world dates and stardew valley dates
Our season are about 90 days long, their's are 28 days so
1 day for stardew players is about 3 days for us.
Now that we have these numbers let's find out how each day correlates to each villager.
It will be in order of earliest birthday to latest and will follow this format
NPC-Season-ingame Bday-Bday(method 1)-Bday(method 2)
Kent- Spring 4- Apr 1
Lewis- Spring 7- Apr 10
Vincent- Spring 10- Apr 20
Haley- Spring 14- May 3
Pam- Spring 18- May 16
Shane- Spring 20- May 23
Pierre- Spring 26- Jun 11
Emily- Spring 27- Jun 14- Jun 15
Jas- Summer 4- Jul 3
Gus- Summer 8- Jul 16
Maru- Summer 10- Jul 23- Jul 22
Alex- Summer 13- Aug 2- Aug 1
Sam- Summer 17- Aug 15- Aug 14
Demetrius- Summer 19- Aug 22- Aug 21
Dwarf- Summer 22- Sep 1-Aug 30
Willy- Summer 24- Sep 7- Sep 6
Leo- Summer 26- Sep 14- Sep 12
Penny- Autumn 2- Sep 27
Elliott- Autumn 5- Oct 7
Jodi- Autumn 11- Oct 26
Abigail- Autumn 13- Nov 1- Nov 2
Sandy- Autumn 15- Nov 8- Nov 9
Marnie- Autumn 18- Nov 17- Nov 18
Robin- Autumn 21- Nov 27- Nov 28
George- Autumn 24- Dec 7- Dec 8
Krobus- Winter 1- Dec 23
Linus- Winter 3- Dec 29
Caroline- Winter 7- Jan 11
Sebastian- Winter 10- Jan 21
Harvey- Winter 14- Feb 2- Feb 3
Wizard- Winter 17- Feb 12- Feb 13
Evelyn- Winter 20- Feb 22- Feb 23
Leah- Winter 23- Mar 3- Mar 5
Clint- Winter 26- Mar 13- Mar 14
If there is only one date on the NPC that means both dates are the same
I'd like to thank @cloverbug83 for helping with the math.
TL:DR The dates in stardew valley are incorrect and I updated them according to IRL seasons.
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asklepius2 · 4 months
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2024 MANDATE
Do NOT. Do not. DO NOT buy fake leather
Pirate everything. Burn cds. Fight the cloud
PHYSICAL MEDIA
Tip food service workers crazy style
Smile at yr bus driver
Wear more eyeliner
Read superhero comic books
Paint more blood and gore
See saw xi in theaters
DIY OR DIE
Draw messy
LIVE MUSIC
remember that old panic at the disco is good truly
Tell people you love them
Stompy boots
My Chemical Romance
Assault a customer at your retail job
Write that weird fanfic
Watch every vampire movie ever made
Wear that crop top
Start a fire
Listen to music made by angry women
Remember that you are fucking alive and do whatever you want
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asklepius2 · 5 months
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you’re hearing it more and more
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asklepius2 · 6 months
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asklepius2 · 7 months
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Some of my favorite words and phrases to describe a character in pain
coiling (up in a ball, in on themselves, against something, etc)
panting (there’s a slew of adjectives you can put after this, my favorites are shakily, weakly, etc)
keeling over (synonyms are words like collapsing, which is equally as good but overused in media)
trembling/shivering (additional adjectives could be violently, uncontrollably, etc)
sobbing (weeping is a synonym but i’ve never liked that word. also love using sob by itself, as a noun, like “he let out a quiet sob”)
whimpering (love hitting the wips with this word when a character is weak, especially when the pain is subsiding. also love using it for nightmares/attacks and things like that)
clinging (to someone or something, maybe even to themselves or their own clothes)
writhing/thrashing (maybe someone’s holding them down, or maybe they’re in bed alone)
crying (not actual tears. cry as in a shrill, sudden shout)
dazed (usually after the pain has subsided, or when adrenaline is still flowing)
wincing (probably overused but i love this word. synonym could be grimacing)
doubling-over (kinda close to keeling over but they don’t actually hit the ground, just kinda fold in on themselves)
heaving (i like to use it for describing the way someone’s breathing, ex. “heaving breaths” but can also be used for the nasty stuff like dry heaving or vomiting)
gasping/sucking/drawing in a breath (or any other words and phrases that mean a sharp intake of breath, that shite is gold)
murmuring/muttering/whispering (or other quiet forms of speaking after enduring intense pain)
hiccuping/spluttering/sniffling (words that generally imply crying without saying crying. the word crying is used so much it kinda loses its appeal, that’s why i like to mix other words like these in)
stuttering (or other general terms that show an impaired ability to speak — when someone’s in intense pain, it gets hard to talk)
staggering/stumbling (there is a difference between pain that makes you not want to stand, and pain that makes it impossible to stand. explore that!)
recoiling/shrinking away (from either the threat or someone trying to help)
pleading/begging (again, to the threat, someone trying to help, or just begging the pain to stop)
Feel free to add your favorites or most used in the comments/reblogs!
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asklepius2 · 8 months
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asklepius2 · 8 months
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It's so weird it's called the 2023rd year of our lord when he died in 33, I dont think it's his year anymore
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asklepius2 · 10 months
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Senpai says you’re welcome
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asklepius2 · 10 months
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WHOA
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asklepius2 · 11 months
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This site has been going around Twitter trans accounts quite a bit lately, so just pointing out here too that it'll do fuck all, they're exploiting trans people at a time when hrt is particularly hard to access and please don't give them your money
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asklepius2 · 11 months
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November 3rd, 2022. 12:30 a.m.
Please
I'm so tired
I can't keep this up.
These aren't my lungs
My heart beats for others
But I'm not done
My tears smother.
I want death to come peacefully
Wrap me in cloth
And talk to me gracefully.
Whisper to me as I fall asleep
In the arms of someone who cares.
The weight on my shoulders makes me buckle
But the pressure on my chest makes me chuckle.
No one knows
Life is No's
To curl up and die
I float
One final night
No more lies.
To pass on to the joyous chatter of party goers
Is the sweetest release when laughter is the final overture.
I spread myself too thin and my limbs are being stolen from me
Who or where has what
And why is it how it has to be?
Just,
Please,
Leave me alone.
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asklepius2 · 11 months
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asklepius2 · 1 year
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URGENT: Congress about to pass a mass censorship and surveillance bill under the guise of "protecting children"
May 13 2023
The Senate has been in a "do something!" mode regarding children's online safety. They're using this as an excuse to push for widespread internet censorship and surveillance. I already spoke about the EARN IT Act, which has a slimmer chance of passing with widespread opposition and a few senators saying they won't vote for it. The real threat is actually KOSA (s.1409), the Kid's Online Safety Act. It does two primary things:
First, KOSA pressures platforms to install filters that would wipe the net of anything deemed “inappropriate” for minors. This means instructing platforms to censor. We saw how these filters impacted websites firsthand with tumblr in 2018, with not only blocking all adult content but also sfw queer content such as suicide hotlines, art archives, wiping out entire blogs because they had queer fandom related posts, etc. Places that already use content filters have restricted important information about suicide prevention and LGBTQ+ support groups. KOSA would spread this kind of censorship to every corner of the internet. And who gets to decide what is and isn't harmful for minors? Oh don't worry, just every single state attorney general and the FTC, which is appointed by the president. You know, the same attorney generals that just banned gender-affirming healthcare under the guise that it "ruins mental health" of minors. This is why the Heritage Foundation was one of the first to sponsor the bill because they can use it to censor trans content, and Senator Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee is it's co-author.
Second, KOSA would ramp up the online surveillance of all internet users by forcing websites to use age verification and parental monitoring tools. Yup, that's right. Now every single person who wants to access the internet has to upload their govt ID online to third party apps that get hacked all the time. You queer in a red state? You undocumented? You an activist? Have fun getting all your online activity and metadata attached to your govt ID.  
Over 90+ human and LGBT rights groups agree that KOSA is dangerous and updates to the 2023 version won’t and can’t address the big problems with the bill. This bill has MASSIVE bipartisan support, and the authors Blumenthal and Blackburn (yes, that Blumenthal that's pushing the EARN IT Act, and who also sponsored the RESTRICT Act and SOPA/PIPA if you remember) are using the tragedy of mothers who lost their kids to online harassment and young adults who've been traumatized online to lobby for it, and got Dove the company to use a bunch of influencers to push for this under the guise it prevents eating disorders...I wish I was lying. There are already 30 co-sponsors.
HOW TO FIGHT KOSA
CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES & THE COMMERCE COMMITTEE
This is a link to the Senate Commerce Committee phone numbers and a call script to read off of. (202) 224-3121 connects you to the congressional hotline
Opposition is getting drowned, and these upcoming weeks will be heavy for lobbying and they're using young people to do it. We NEED to show these senators that young people are actually opposed to this and don't want it.
2. Sign these petitions
Open Letter Against KOSA
Petition 1
Petition 2
Petition 3
Petition 4
Resistbot: Text PHJDYH to 50409
3. Spread the word.
The opposition is getting absolutely drowned online. Dove has nearly 100k signatures to push for KOSA. Influencers on tiktok are pushing for this without ever having read the bill. Fucking Lizzo is sponsoring it. If you have twitter, reddit, tiktok, are in any community, SPREAD THE WORD, PLEASE.
Here is a linktree with all the above petitions for easy shargin: Link to linktree
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asklepius2 · 1 year
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asklepius2 · 1 year
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dark green is a nice color. underrated
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asklepius2 · 1 year
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I long for the days of the wheel when I can see you again.
When the veil of unearthly delights are in sight.
I adore you my sweet, but I wish you could see it.
You watch through the mist of existence unable to touch mortality,
As my imagination of you makes me question morality.
I'll see you again my dear, it just may be sooner than you want.
Title: Maiden of The Mist
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asklepius2 · 1 year
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I'm going to start posting my own poetry here. I'm sorry, all will have Trigger warnings. You've been warned.
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