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bitin-and-barkin · 4 months

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Haunting Me

A Donnie Angst fic

Tw, possibly distressing content

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Donnie couldn’t remember anything the first night it began.

He couldn’t remember anything about it, and if you asked him he wouldn’t be able to tell you about it.

He wouldn’t be able to tell you about the mission that came before the argument, or how he was the one to screw it up once again.

About how his self righteous, self serving ass and his stupid tech fucked up.

How the ride home was quieter than it ever had been in ages.

And he wouldn’t be able to tell you about what his brothers said to him when he got home.

He couldn’t remember how Leo looked at him with pity.

He couldn’t tell you about how Mikey wouldn't even talk to him.

And he wouldn’t be able to tell you how Raph lashed out.

How he yelled and screamed. How he called him emotionless. How he spoke so fast to the point where Donnie couldn't even focus on what he was saying. He couldn’t tell you how that fight pushed him over the edge. He couldn’t tell you how his blood ran cold when he heard that they were going on another mission, when for one day he just wanted to stay home. He couldn’t tell you how for once, he let someone else drive his beloved turtle tank. He couldn’t tell you how once he got there, the yelling and the action and the sounds of scraping and screeching and demands being given sounded like nail on a turn table. He couldn’t tell you how it all felt like so much, too much, that he could barely even focus on anything. He couldn’t tell you how he fell off, or went over the deep end.

He couldn't tell you that he rushed forward during the fight, unable to find himself caring about anything.

Just wanting to end it. End something, either the fight or himself.

About an attack coming straight for him, the creatures leg piercing his back.

Piercing his shell, flesh, and his lungs.

He couldn't tell you how he kept moving anyways.

And he couldn't tell you about how he bashed that screaming bitches skull.

Everything. It felt gross, it all felt wrong. He wasn't sure if it was overstimulation, heightened by blood in his lungs from the attack. He wasn’t sure if it was the feeling of the blood of his enemy staining his hands and Bo. He wasn't sure if it was the uncomfortable leather texture of the chair they sat him down in when he got home. He wasn't sure if it was him lying again and again, pretending the injuries were only surface wounds when in reality he could feel it moving inside him with every breath he took. He wasn’t sure. He couldn’t remember.

And he couldn’t remember how Raph said he was benched.

But he could tell you how his shell felt bear, without the pressure of his battle shell that morning. He could tell you the way his skin felt on his pants, and the way his muscle felt on his bone. He could tell you how that morning when he woke up all he could hear was the sound of the air conditioning, and the clock, and the fan, and the refrigerator all buzzing loud, louder than ever before. He could tell you how that day even his safe foods felt wrong, and how even toothpaste felt like shards of glass against his tongue. He could tell you how every texture against his skin made him want to rip it off like peeling wax.

He could tell you how it reached out that morning.

It reached out.

That first initial connection had haunted him, haunted him like nothing else.

The feeling of it entangling with him, it seeping into his pores, his wounds, his body.

HIS body.

After that it never felt like his anymore.

It was always there, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it. Its tentacles, the boundaries of life and death, it and him, their identites blurred and merged together. He couldn’t get rid of it, but he NEEDED it to be gone.

It was simply a problem, an issue, but the sound of its heartbeat thumped in his head like his own, and it’s movement became his as it latched on like a leech, like a parasite, and refused to let go.

It was terrifying. The few minutes he was connected he felt it like he felt himself. It consumed him. Its emotions if you could even say it had any, were now theirs. It’s memories, he experienced thousands of them just in a second. Thousands of universes reduced to ash, millions of souls crushed under the weight of the monstrous machine. The engulfment and the struggling of the billions, it consumed as they, like him, tried to take control.

Tried to control something. The ship, themselves as they felt their humanity being ripped away from them as the biomass wrapped around their flesh and brain, as it infested their skin and bones.

He did that. It did that, all of that. And now that was a part of him.

The grief of thousands, engraved into his mind.

The burden of knowledge per say, haunted him. And this knowledge seeped into his mind, and his soul, and to every aspect of his self.

Now? He was different. Irreparable and unchangebly different.

Disgusting. And broken, and plagued, and diseased and tainted and infected and invaded and-

Impure.

He would never be the same.

He would never be dirt free.

And these thoughts plagued him as he laid in his room, in his bed, alone.

Unable to, not allowed to get up, to get his mind off of it.

He was stuck. Trapped and paralyzed.

He rocked back and forth in his bed and scratched his neck, almost as if to try and claw the skin off.

God, what was he doing?

Was he insane or something?

He stared at his computer screen on his desk, looking at the code he had yet to finish.

Why did it haunt him?

It was nothing, he had experienced the least out of all of them.

And yet, they all seemed to be recovering.

So why?

Something was wrong with him.

Fundamentally and irreparable wrong, even before the Krang

And even before he learned how to fight and create, even though he had been creating for as long as he could remember.

Just don’t think about it.

It’s simple. Just don’t think about it.

Ignore it.

He’s not thinking about it.

I’m not thinking about it.

It infected him, latched on deep, down to his bones

He felt it.

Felt it all.

He had felt it as Raph disinfected his wounds, as he talked about how according to the scans, it almost hit Donnies lung.

He had felt it with Mikey as he helped him to his room, as with each breath he took it got harder to breathe.

Felt his twin be crushed between unfamiliar limbs, limbs that weren’t his but felt as if his own.

Felt the rot wrapping around Raph, spoke the words of the lies whispered in his head. The lies that were used to control him.

Felt the vines that tangled and entangled his youngest brother, restraining, snaring, and destroying.

He wasn’t supposed to be moving around, as his injuries supposedly bedbound him, but laying any longer in these sheets and allowing him to rot away in his room (and let the rot infest in his wounds) would kill him.

Or at least make him kill himself.

He swore he could feel it, feel them deeper than he had before.

As now, he was sure it wasn’t in his head.

Now? It was in his wounds.

He could feel it wrap around his lungs, restricting his breath and constricting him alive.

A parasite, digging into his wounds like an infection. He swore he could feel it, like maggots infesting his wounds.

And he could taste it, in the back of his throat. Like bile or blood, the metallic taste of his scorching his throat with each breath he took.

And he could smell it, the disgusting scent of blood and flesh. The smell of it, the oddly clean aroma, almost like bleach and alcohol mixed with the blood and flesh of thousands.

And he could hear it.

Whispering in his ears, thousands of thoughts flying through like a symphony.

The harmony of the machine, each metaphorical gear turning and churning.

And he hated it.

Hated that during those few moments of connection, he felt more alive than he had ever been.

And after, when he was changed and now a ghost of his former self, he had been more alive then anybody had ever been.

And he hated that when entangled with it, he felt a connection.

A connection that he had never felt with anybody else, not Splinter, not April, and not his brothers.

Donie scratched at the back of his neck.

He didn’t need, he didn’t even want it.

It was a nuisance, a problem, something to be solved and fixed and begone of.

None of it was valued. No honorable deeds would ever be done by it. It, what was left of it was repulsive and disgusting.

But he couldn’t get rid of it, he couldn’t!

No matter how much it’s thoughts plagued his mind and no matter how it destroyed him, it CAPTIVATED him.

It needed him, he couldn’t just abandon it. It was a part of him.

He didn’t need it or want it or love it, it repulsed him, but it was the only thing keeping him alive.

He could feel it;s heartbeat as he swore his stopped.

If it didn’t enchant him, he would dig it out of his wounds where he stood.

The softshell stood up and began pacing around his room, muttering to himself, almost as if to talk to it.

He couldn’t do this right now, he couldn’t do this ever-

Ever. never ever.

He needed to get his mind off things.

To run, to flee, to escape. From it, from his own body and mind.

He needed to.

He needed to-

Donnie looked to his digital clock.

2am.

Nobody was up right now.

He was alone.

He looked to the sewer grate, resided just outside his room.

He needed to get some fresh air.

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Okay, that wasn't so bad. Sure as hell wasn't good, but not bad.

This is not a one part fic, there will be more to come. Side note though, next parts will likely involve drug addiction and grooming (likely non sexual)

I haven't posted in a while because I've been losing my will to live. Anyways, more Donnie centric content to come. We love making him suffer.

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bitin-and-barkin · 4 months

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Theres something kinda romantic about stabbing yourself to death

#like slay

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bitin-and-barkin · 4 months

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#last time i saw these bastards i pushed them off the fence and they were carried away by a hungry bird #i hate these mfs

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bitin-and-barkin · 4 months

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TF2 mercs and what to do with them.

Scout - put him in a jar and shake him really hard.

Pyro - turn him inside out like an octopus plushie.

Soldier - into the washing machine he goes.

Demo - bake him at 200°C, don't forget to pre-heat the oven.

Heavy - chew toy.

Engie - put him in the microwave and watch it make lightning.

Medic - place him in a petri dish and study him under a microscope.

Sniper - make him into a wristband or perhaps a hair tie.

Spy - flush him down the toilet.

#id actually sniper people with sniper like how you'd shoot a rubber band at someone

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bitin-and-barkin · 4 months

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I feel like a lot more people would kill themselves if they had someone to hold their hand as they did it

#the presence of that one person in their life could stop them from doing it thoe #could be counterintuitive #tw suicide #ngl if I had someone who i trusted enough to and was willing to hold me close as I did it I might start considering it #oh how romantic it would be

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bitin-and-barkin · 5 months

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Yandere Donnie: Mushy Medical Malpractice

^ | | That's Donnie when he sees u lmao (Leo's upset because Donnie's gonna rant about how amazing u are to him for the next 4 hours) After writing that last yandere thingie, I got wonderin: How did cuddling you start as a stim for Donnie? (Go read the first one hint hint) So using prompt 4 from animeyanderelove's list ( “Gosh, you smell so good when we cuddle like this!”) I made this! Heavy Jason Dean vibes, he needs u way too much. I do not condone any of this irl ya freaks. Tw: Nonconsensual Touching, Yandere Behavior, Generally stalkerish vibes

God damn it.

"Come on, breathe."

Slow, deep breaths. Over and over again.

But how could you breathe when you felt like all your oxygen was being burned away by the flames in your skin?

How could you breathe when you were in agony like this?

How did you even get here?

It started when you woke up in the middle of the night, and once again, your entire body ached like never before.

Yesterday Donnie finally let you out of the sewers after you got better. You GOT better. You were supposed to be getting better. So why did it keep coming back!? Why did it only get worse whenever you left?

God really hated you, huh? You could only find peace when at Donnie's care. You couldn't thank him enough for everything he had done for you.

Either way, when you awoke your body was engulfed in what you thought to be hives. You were so itchy and hot, and it felt like a million needles were pricking your skin. Even your clothes felt hot to the touch, burning you like fire.

You tried to take a shower to calm it down, hoping you could stick it out until the morning, really not wanting to bother him in the middle of the night with this. He had done so much for you, it felt selfish to ask him for more. (Little did you know he was awake. haunted by your absence, and waiting for you)

But it only got worse. As you showered, you scratched mercilessly at your skin, scratching it raw until you bled. But you couldn't stop. It hurt so badly- Your chest, your thighs, your neck. It all burned.

By now, strands of your hair was breaking off, and if you were in there any longer you were worried clumps of your hair would begin falling out. You could barely even see by now, the blindness from your disease kicking in. You stepped out of the shower, and the light bombarded you. It felt like the sun, flashing colors vibrantly, burning your eyes, wrecking your retinas, even though you knew it was just the usual yellowish white color your lights usually were.

And the noise! The noise was unbearable. The ache in your body was nothing compared to the sound around you. The sound of the running water, the buzzing lights, it engulfed you. It drove you mad.

You were so paranoid too. Afraid for no reason. You couldn't shake the feeling that something was watching you struggle and shower and scream and sob.

By now you were falling to the ground, your throat closing up and your legs no longer able to support your weight. You knew you only had one choice, but you weren't even sure if you could do it before you began seizing. (another symptom of this "new disease" that plagued you, diagnosed courtesy of Donnie)

You reached for your phone, calling your best friend. You couldn't afford the medical bills, and Donnie had insisted that he was the only one who could provide you adequate care for this illness. After that point, everything was a blur. You weren't even sure if you were able to get any words out to him. But either way, he appeared to help you.

You couldn't remember any of it, him helping you dress yourself, sneaking you through the streets, taking you to the lab. You only came back to consciousness in Donnie's room, which is where you were now.

Deep, deep breaths.

"Come on, you can do this."

In and out.

You looked over to Donnie, teary eyed.

He was holding a needle, likely to inject you with something that would stop this torture.

You weren't afraid of needles. Not anymore. You couldn't be after you have had to be stabbed by them so many times to save your life.

Your eyes began watering again, and you covered you face with one of his pillows.

Why was this happening to you?

Donnie walked up to you, and sat down on the bed next to you, taking your arm and injecting it in.

God that felt good. You weren't sure if you were getting addicted to this stuff somehow. Is that even possible if you NEED to take the meds?

The itchiness and lightheadedness quickly evaporated from your skin. Well, most of it anyways. It was bearable now.

Your eyelids felt so heavy, and you were so, so tired.

"Just breathe."

"Everything will be okay."

You looked over to Donnie, wanting to thank him, but you could see how panicked he was. He was afraid, really, really afraid.

You grabbed his hand, rubbing his palm.

"Hey. I'm okay, Don-Don." You gently said. Your voice still hurt and felt scratchy, but you didn't know what else to say. You knew you needed to say something though.

He turned over to you could hear his breath hitching and him hyperventilating. His voice was strained and cracked.

"Why didn't you say anything earlier? Why'd you wait so long to call me?"

What were you supposed to say to that?

"Don-Don.. I-. I didn't want to burden yo-"

"You're never a burden to me."

You looked up to him. You had a splitting headache still, and you were so tired, but you still couldn't sleep. You could barely even move your legs. And you had been like this for so long. You had done nothing for him. How could you not be a burden?

You wanted to cry, how could he not hate you.

"Thanks Don-Don..."

Your voice was cracked and strained. He grabbed your hand, rubbing its palm softly with his left and wiping away his tears with his right.

"Never mind that, you need to get some rest."

You groaned.

"Don-Don, I can't just fall asleep like that, not matter how tired I am."

"I know, I know, I can't either! But you can usually get me to sleep easily, and I have trouble sleeping."

So how does he make you fall asleep?

What do you usually do for him?

Those always worked.

Lavender Incense, sleep meds, a million things came to mind.

Shell rubs.

That could work.

You don't have a shell, but a back rub might work just as well.

Silently, he moved over to you and began rubbing your back.

You giggled at first, it's amazing how you managed it despite the pain you were in.

"What are you doing-?"

"Giving you a shell rub."

"I don't have a shell?"

"I know- but I might as well try."

He continued rubbing your back, the pressure soothing the pain.

"... Is it working?"

You shoved your teary face into the mattress, mumbling a bunch of incoherent words, before finally settling at

"It works so well."

"Please don't stop."

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Donnie looked down at you, watching as you struggled to stay asleep. The sleep meds he had put in that injection wasn't working as well as he'd hoped.

He looked up at your monitors. You were just asleep right? You weren't seizing? Why were you moving so much? Were you having nightmares?

Everything looked normal.

No lasting damage from the "incident."

But the guilt still consumed him.

It had been a couple of hours since he first got the call. About 2 since you got here and fell asleep, and he hadn't dared to stop rubbing your back.

1 hour, 37 minutes, and 52 second since you fell asleep. He'd been counting.

If you were having a nightmare, it'd be best to wake you.

He didn't mean to.

He'd had them before, and he knew they were horrible.

And he almost lived one today.

He gently tried to shake you awake.

It was just a one time screw up.

But to no avail.

He'd flown too close to the sun.

You were okay, right? He looked up to the monitors once again.

And now his wax wings were melting.

Everything was normal.

A one time screw up?

Heart rate was steady.

What was he thinking?

Blood pressure was average.

This was you he was talking about.

Blood sugar was perfectly fine.

Sweet, wonderous you.

He put his head to your chest, just to make sure you were breathing fine.

And you almost died today because he tried to keep you too close.

And he heard you breathing.

Your heartbeat.

And it made his heart throb.

He kept up the pressure on your back, soothing you in any way possible.

The sensory from it was nice, kneading your skin like that.

It was warm, soft, alive, mixed with the comforting texture of your hoodie.

His mind began to wander.

He didn't mean to do it.

Or at least for it to turn out that badly.

When you left, he couldn't stand the empty feeling that he got. Alone like that.

He just couldn't deal with it anymore. You NEEDED to stay. He needed you to stay.

But what could he do?

Restrain you? Threaten you? He could never do that to his best friend. You were a person after all.

But you were a person like him. You understood him in a way nobody else did.

Mikey, Raph, Leo, Splinter, April.

Nobody else could understand him, feel him as you did.

You were so similar, so close, that you and him started to feel like one.

One being, one person. So there was unending ache in his heart when you decided to leave.

But it wasn't your fault! You were perfect, you were a part of each other, you would never purposely hurt your other half!

You weren't trying to hurt him by leaving. You just didn't understand how much you needed each other.

But he still couldn't have you leave. It would rip him into parts.

You leaving him would be like ripping him in half. His other half can't just leave him like that!

And so he got an idea.

It started off innocent at first. Simple.

You were gonna go home, but he needed you. You couldn't leave. You guys were having so much fun!

Tippy-tappying your fingers on controllers, watching dumb-dumb horror movies and making fun of the dumb-dumb protagonists, or eating pizza and just chatting about everything and nothing.

So, why would you leave him? (he still couldn't understand why would would want to leave, even now.) He couldn't let that just- HAPPEN.

So he did something... questionable.

Mikey baked you something as a go-home gift, just some food.

He saw you were already snacking on it and while you weren't looking he MAY or may not have put something in it.

It was only supposed to make you feel really tired, and it only did that.

And so you decided to call it a night and just sleepover in the sewers.

His plan worked. He had a new tool at his disposal, one to make life a little more bearable, one that allowed him to stay by your side.

And he was going to abuse the hell out of it.

It only got worse and worse, with exhaustion meds turning into headaches into rashes into unimaginable pain.

He wasn't doing it to hurt you! In fact, he tried to stray away from the more gruesome symptoms. He always made sure you had a adequate quality of life. and he tried to only sicken you to the bare minimum that made you stay with him.

He did not like doing this to you, in fact he hated it. He hated seeing you so weak and miserable, and he hated the pain that consumed him as he watched you weep over it.

But he could also not stand how his heart ached from your absence, and he couldn't help but miss the way his heart sang whenever you were near!

He had to make a choice, and he made the one that was better for both of you in the long term.

He knew how much you loved being by his side too, and he knew you felt the same way. You were just in denial, unable to truly understand how much you needed each other. He wouldn't be surprised if these beliefs were linked to pressure from those wretched friends and family of yours. They always tried to pull you away from him, and pull him away from you.

But that's besides the point. By then, it was common for you to stay in the sewers for months on end just to let Donnie manage your worsening health.

And now, it was another one of those times.

2 weeks ago, you had been bedbound at Donnie's for about a month, unable to leave. And he had decided to have mercy on you, as he felt so cruel for this when you raved about your misery from this horrible illness that plagued you!

So, he lightened up on the meds that he was giving you. Just so you could get a little bit better, and just so his best friend would be even just a little bit happier.

Just so you two could talk easier, as your jaw ached whenever it moved. Just so you could game together easier, as you began losing feeling in your fingers. It was just to make his other half happier.

But you, you took that as healing! You jumped at the slightest opportunity of independence, unable to realize how much you needed each other!

He couldn't believe it.

You wanted to leave, only a month after you began staying living in the sewers!

Only a month!

He couldn't have that. There was no way you could LEAVE HIM!?

You ripped open his heart!

You can't just leave him to bleed!?

You were meant to be his!

He was meant to be yours!

You can't just split them apart!

No, no, no-

This wasn't the doing of you, was it?

It's those SHITTY uptoppers-

(You might aswell be turning him into draxum because he's REALLY starting to hate humans, aka "uptoppers". Get it- Cause they're on the surface? Above the sewers? "Up Top?")

They're dragging him away from you.

He's heard them say it, question your relationship-

"Oh y/n, why are you always WITH HIM!?"

"Oh Donnie-, it's strange how you're always together!"

But those INSOLENT fools- April, your friends, his family and yours-

They would never understand!

They could never understand what you two have!

Sure, he has some faults on his end, as his family has been playing a part in this- But he can convince them, he knows he can!

But yours? No, that's different.

They would never accept it.

And so, he had to take some.. drastic measures.

A couple of well placed sprinkles of some suspicious meds on your snacks-

And after that, you could go home all fine and dandy, only for when the morning comes- BOOM

Pain. You come running back to Donnie, and then you get your cure and he skillfully convinces you to stay longer with a report of you having "A permanent, debilitating illness that needs constant care and supervision by a high tech mutant expert who can administer you care any time it's requested."

Also, any germs carried by regular old humans could make the illness SO much worse, so you can't go up top to tell your family. He could do it for you. any germs carried by mutants, and possibly April, are a-okay though.

(He may have been overexaggerating a LOT, he would never hurt you that badly after all! It's actually just gonna be a bit of chronic fatigue and bouts of paralysis and blindness, maybe make you an ambulatory wheel chair user or make you lose a leg or arm. But that's not that bad when you have Donnie to provide you with the most high tech prosthetics and wheelchairs out there! Maybe some body braces and high tech glasses to help you with that blindness and paralysis-)

That way, you'll stay together.

That way, you'll never be split up.

But this? This was SO much worse than he planned.

What was he going to do? There may be no CURRENT after affects but what might happen in the future-

Then something happens, a movement, your body shifitng.

It brings him back to reality. It grounds him.

And he knows he has no reason to worry.

All of them wash away like how waves wash the ocean shore.

As long as you're together, you'll be okay.

He'll be okay.

Everything will be okay.

Donnie realizes that while he was having a mental breakdown, he stopped rubbing you.

Yet you are still sleeping soundly.

How? You were struggling to sleep just moments before? Is it the silence? Is it him?

Then he realizes. It's his body heat, isn't it?

You've always loved heated blankets.

So maybe this is just what you need.

He pulls up closer against you, his plastron to your back.

He puts his head in the crook of your neck.

God you're so warm-

And soft.

He could fall asleep right now, he would if he didn't have to monitor your health.

Then he sees it. You're laying on your arm.

That's not good, is it?

Doing that could cut off your bloods circulation to that arm, which could cause a whole BUNCH of problems.

He can't have that, could he?

But he also can't wake you up, you need to sleep.

He's gotta do this gently.

Slowly, Slowly he grabbed your arm-

God you were still so warm.

Warmer now. Softer. He didn't think that was even possible.

And you smelled so good while cuddling with him like this.

He pulled it out from under you, but he didn't take his hands off.

Slowly he ran his hand up and down your arm.

Pliant.

Flexible.

Textured.

There was so many words he could use to describe it.

Safe.

He felt safe. Safe in your touch.

He practically melted onto you as he ran his hands up and down your arm, eventually taking grasp of your other one.

Pulling up your sleeves, just to feel your skin.

He hated being touched, but this? This was different.

He hadn't realized how stressed he had been.

He hadn't realized how much he wanted, needed this.

He got lost in holding you, lost in your touch.

Moving farther down until he hit your thighs, his hands rubbing up and down on them.

Feeling the cloth of your pants, warmed by your skin.

Then your stomach and chest.

Feeling your stomach rolls and hip dips, your curves, and the fabric of your hoodie.

The fat on your chest and stomach.

If he was sane- If he was okay right now he would question all of this.

Why was he doing this?

Was this creepy?

Was he insane?

But right now?

He couldn't.

Fat, wet, tears welled up in his eyes and made it's way down his face, as he shoved his head even deeper into the crook of your neck.

He couldn't stop himself.

Stop himself from doing any of this. Stop himself from clinging onto you like you would disappear if he let go. Stop himself from melting like chocolate into your touch. Stop himself from wanting you, from missing you.

He almost lost you today.

Now?

He was never letting you go again.

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This took me way too long to write, and this post is way too long too. When I was going to write this I imagined it a lot shorter. The touching/cuddling part was supposed to sound a lot more nonsexual and platonic then it came out as but now? Interpret it as platonic, romantics, however you'd like. Although I will say, non of the touches here were SA or anything. He was simply touching you. I hate how sexual that sounds, but I have no clue how else to put it. Kinda ironic how I'm posting this on the lords day, as this is one of the most unholy things I've written in a while. Side note, REQUEST ME THINGS. I'm dumb and my brains running out of ideas. Also, this would've made more sense if your read my first yandere don post. I decided to make "Don-Don" a nickname the reader as for Donnie as it's one I came up for him lmao. The writing/text definintely soundned a bit insane and eccentric, but Donnie is too. Eh, what do I know? This could be way out of character for him, Idk.

I listened to "The Red Means I Love You" and "Meant to be Yours" while writing this just to get in the yandere vibes lmao. Anyways;

Yandere Donnie Supremacy <3

(Btw I will write yandere or regular stuff lik headcanons for other ROTTMNT characters if requested, SO GO ASK ME THINGS-)

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bitin-and-barkin · 5 months

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Yo asks are open, tell me whats on ur mind

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bitin-and-barkin · 5 months

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Yandere Donnie

Yandere Donnie would act Obsessive, Controlling, and Dependent.

When April first introduced Donnie to you, you guys fit together perfectly. Like two pieces of a puzzle.

You just GOT him in a way nobody else did.

You were so much like him, yet so different.

The entire time you two were together you two DOMINATED the conversation, April could barely get any words in.

You two traded numbers and from that point on, Donnie wouldn't do anything without you.

If he wasn't nagging April about "when she will bring you over again" (He was too nervous to ask you to come over, which is a first for him) he was texting you or calling you or gushing about you to anyone who could listen.

But how could he not!? You were PERFECTION embodied! He was obsessed with you!

You kept up with his smarts and sarcastic quips, even offering your own.

Although you weren't a tech prodigy you thought a similar way (the right way) and were OBVIOUSLY smarter than his dumb-dumb brothers.

Anytime that he had something to say, you hit back just as hard in a lighthearted, sarcastic tone.

You were also so badass too! Just the general air around you screamed "Cool, emotionless, mysterious, bad boy." You were so dominating and so strong! You were what he wanted to be!

But the thing about it was that you weren't emotionless, far from it.

Although you guys often competed there was never actually any bad blood. Despite being just as good as him (and possibly better, although he'd never admit it), you never held it over him.

You listened to him rambles about science and junk happily, but not in a I'm-only-listening-to-be-nice-but-I-don't-actually-understand-or-care but in a I-love-your-passion-and-can-understand-it-completely way.

You asked questions that he'd never even thought about.

And you were emotionally intelligent too!

You were kind, caring, and oh-so sickly sweet.

He didn't need to put up any sort of mask in front of you, as you made sure you made sure he knew you loved him in any form!

Even the moments when he was ashamed of who he was, when he was worried he would never be enough.

His intense moments of "emotionless passion" or his arrogant moments of dumbassary.

You pushed him to be better while accepting him as who he was.

You made him feel like MORE than his tech, he never felt like he had to hide anything from you, as hiding something from you, just felt like hiding something from himself.

All of his deepest secrets are shared and he expects you to do the same

You made him feel secure, like no matter what he did you would never leave him.

It was like you were a combination of himself and Mikey, his two favorite people in the world! (You were first though, of course)

Even when he was acting like a dumb-dumb (Although he'd never admit it) you held him accountable while still being understanding.

You could understand what he meant without even saying it!

It was like you guys were mind melded or something!

You were like him, a kinship. Almost a frenemy, rivals with how much you competed, but more friend then enemy.

You were almost a teacher to him in a lot of ways, but you never talked down to him or treated him like he was stupid for not understand things that came to you or other easily (like emotions, cough cough)

And he made sure (or at least tried his best) to do the same for you.

For example, whenever you make something techy from the countless facts of science Donnie had taught you he'll cherish it, probably getting an entire shelf and case for any inventions you make for him (and he won't "improve" or "modify" the work to become more efficient, no matter how much his hands are itching to)

Honestly it got to the point where you two were never seen apart.

Donnie began to see you as an extension of himself.

Or, more specifically two parts to something bigger.

Think Glitz and Glam from Helluva boss, or Sapphire and Ruby from Steven Universe, or Fireboy and Watergirl from those dumb cool math game games.

You were him, he was you, and you guys would never be apart.

You guys were two peas in a pod, best friends, yin and yang, fire and water, connected in an unbreakable way he wants to brand your name into his skin and he wants you to do the same for him

it was like a villain and his sidekick, expect none of you were the sidekick! You were equal after all, in his eyes. He genuinely values you and your opinion above everybody elses, and how you felt about something was just as important as he felt about it (aka, very important) He feels very strongly about making sure thing are "fair" between you two.

At first you were fine with this little obsession he had with you two hanging out, you couldn't see the red flags screaming in your face, but then he got oh so controlling.

He might not care about what you wear or how you dress, but every bit of tech in your house is replaced by his own, all suited to prevent hackers and stalkers from accessing your location they all have trackers on them, and the next time you fall asleep he will embed one into your skin

He doesn't mean it with malicious intent, he just wants to protect you as he would protect himself. You deserve protection after all, he just wants to make sure you're safe from any "stalkers."

He kindly searches your room for any "suspicious devices" placed by "creeps" he takes this opportunity to put in his own cameras to watch you from every angle in your home, you get more time away from him but he watches you while you sleep.

He gives you little trinkets and tech made by him just for you they all have cameras in them, he loves watching you

And your health is watched like a HAWK.

He's constantly calling you over to his place, under the guise of "making sure your healthy" and he does do that, he does!

It's like your a permanent hospital patient, with you being strapped up and poked and prodded.

Your heart rate would be constantly monitored with a watch he gave you along with your blood pressure, temperature, blood sugar, and steps per day.

The slightest cough will be treated like a medical emergency. His place would be disinfected and you would be "bedbound" from your illness.

Only he can see you when this happens, after all he's the only one who can care for you properly.

Honestly, I can see him medically abusing you, Munchausen syndrome by proxy style.

He'll give you new meds under the guise of healing whatever menial injury you got, only for you to get sicker and sicker. Hell, he might even put you under anesthesia and give you a couple of injuries (can't have you feeling pain or remembering it!) like breaking your legs and blame it on your "new disease."

Narcolepsy, bouts of paralysis or blindness, chronic pain, he'll do whatever makes you hang out with him more! Of course, none of it will actually be permanent or lifelong, he can stop it as quickly as he started it, but why would he do that when it's so affective?

And when you get ill, he'll insist he can be the only one to care for you. I mean, medical bills are expensive after all! Why waste your money when you can just go to your old friend Donnie!?

He'll have you lean on him for support, making you ill enough to the point that you couldn't even leave the sewers as you could barely move your legs and your entire body felt like it was in flames just so you guys can hang out together a little more

(To be honest it's less about the control he has over you and making you depend on him, and more on making you spend more time with him. But if he needs to make you dependent on him, he's not complaining.)

You'll have to stick with him until this "flare up" of your illness gets better. And he'll keep you trapped there with him through your disease until eventually he begins to break, as that now that you're by his side what the point of putting you through so much pain?

And so he'll down the dosage of the medicine he used to hurt you, just to make you feel a little bit better. But you take this as you healing, and you suggest to him that maybe, just maybe, you could go back home now? I mean you're getting better now, so you don't need to be around him ALL the time.

When he hears this he'll act calm at first even though he feels his blood running freezing cold and he'll help you pack up to go home, only for the next morning for the pain and paralysis come back, stronger than ever and making you cry and beg for it to stop

(He might even keep you trapped with him in this way, physically unable to leave and having your punishments being an up in the illness)

Sure, he'll feel guilt for making you feel so much pain and he'll miss your more fiery personality, that now has been dampened down due to your pain, but at least you're now next to him.

He'll help you learn to function to the best of your ability while ill, giving you a wheelchair and braces and the best prosthetics known to man.

But at the same time, he'll still be making sure you're still dependent on him, but independent enough where the old personality he fell in love with comes back. Independence dependence, per say.

Upping your meds just enough so that some days the pain still engulfs you but keeping it low enough so even on your neutral days you can engage in your battles of wits and words between you two that he oh-so-loved.

Good enough to function normally on your good days, bad enough that you writhe in agony as your skin flares up in pain on your bad ones.

It's all so you're still you, but he is still a part of you.

The same thing can be said for him. He is still him, but you are still a part of him. A MAJOR part.

And if you're ever pissed at him or resistant he'll drug your food with sleeping meds to make you more "soft" and "pliable."

But none of this dependence on him compares to how dependent he is on you.

As time goes on you can't get ANY time away from him.

Even before he does anything too drastic (before he practically kidnaps you) you are pretty much stripped of all your privacy and autonomy.

He's always following you around, showing up at your house unannounced, sneaking into your work/school to meet up with you in the bathroom, and any single moment you can be around him he WILL be around you.

The only moment of peace you get is in the bathroom and even then, if you're in there for longer than two minutes he'll begin to rant to you through the door.

It may frustrate you but to him it makes perfect sense. After all, two is better than one, so why would you ever need to be apart?

You guys are just better when with each other. You cover each other flaws and weakness and boost up each others strengths.

You need him and he needs you He needs you more than you need him, it feels like pulling teeth or losing a limb or peeling skin if he can't feel you, touch you, breath the same air as you

You're always there with him. Without you? It just feels so.. lonely. And he's not one to mull over being alone, in fact he loved it before he met you. But now? It feels like he's missing something vital, like an artery or a lung or his heart whenever you're away.

Wherever he goes he's always thinking about what you would want or what you would say, your voice taking up a special little part of his mind that was beginning to collect dust.

He felt your sadness, your passion, your anger, as if it was his. And whenever you smiled, he felt your smile like it was his own. It's so quiet now without you. He was always used to hearing your breath or your heartbeat, to the point where it felt like second nature to seek out it's comfortable rhythm He'll make a recording of your breathing pattern and put it as background noise in all of his favorite songs and make something to copy and let out the vibrations of your heartbeat tenfold, that way he can lay down on the floor of his lab and quite literally feel your heartbeat as if it was his own

So, when he explained all this to you so casually you finally began to get why he always wanted to be around you. it was unnerving at first sure, especially the way he looked at you with such desperate, mad eyes when he explained it to you after you said that you needed to get back home. Now that you knew this though? It just felt selfish to leave him alone.

His relationship with others falters as if he is talking to someone you also need to be involved, and the same goes for if someone is talking to you (this doesn't bother him as he firmly believes you are the only one he needs, his brothers and april are just an afterthought)

I mean, he doesn't hate his brothers! They still are his brothers after all, and he loves them. And he's happy to spend as much time with them as before you came into the picture, but you always need to be there, involved, and considered. You're practically part of the family, part of him! Part of something bigger and better! Just don't split you two up or else he'll scratch his skin raw, just ITCHING to hang out with you again

Whenever he's apart from you it's a bit like when Raph goes savage, but less angry and more anxious and scared shitless. Ever since he'd met you he'd never had to be alone this long

You can go out, do whatever you want as long as he's with you but you can't go home to your family, they aren't good for you

Your friends are weirded out by this and so are his brothers, with them pretty much telling you guys "Hey your relationship with each other is pretty weird. Why are you always around each other?"

You two deny this though, you out of innocence and naivety, thinking that Donnie would never invade on your personal space despite the uncomfy feeling you get when he butts into your conversations.

He would never hurt you or control you, despite how he stops letting you sleep at your OLD home, as now he always wants you to sleep in the same bed as him in your guy's room.

Despite that he's already began bringing your stuff into his your guy's room, setting it up as if you live together you practically do, your family thinks that you've ran away as it's been a month since you've gone home

He's also oddly touchy.

You see, a lot of you prolly won't agree but just think about it;

He's almost ALWAYS touching someone, as long as he initiated the contact he seems to be fine with and actually LOVE physical touch.

I just believe he doesn't like hugs because of his "emotionless bad boy image" and because it feels like he's trapped, and going to be suffocated. Like he has no control.

But with you? That's not a problem.

Although most touches with him are the ones as shown here, small things, touching you is GROUNDING for him.

He needs them in fact. You're his grounder, his shoulder to lean on, his support, a part of him. He needs your touch, he needs you. Often times you are the only thing that can calm him down from any "episodes" he has.

Besides that, although he'd never admit it, he's also quite lonely.

He loves his brothers but he feels fundamentally different from them, different from anybody else in the world.

So if he found someone who got him in the way he'd always wanted? He'd never let go of them.

This also goes for touch. Despite his touch aversion he often wished he had someone who he felt safe and comfortable enough with to hold, or someone who he felt loved enough with to the point where he could be held. So when he met you? All of his unrequited dreams of physical affection with someone whom he truly felt connected to came out.

He often takes your arms and rubs his hands back and forth on them as a stim, or does the same thing with your back while laying his head in the crook of your neck.

Something that he does pretty much whenever he can is sitting on your lap, not in a weird way though.

You two will be sitting on the floor (He's gotten a preference for sitting on the floor as it makes this activity more comfortable)

And you'll be causally laying against the wall, legs spread as Donnie sits between them and you peer over his shoulder.

Maybe you two can be just chatting, or maybe reading a book together or playing a video game together, with you giving him tips as he controls.

You two also often sit in opposite positions, with him peering over your shoulder as you sit on his lap.

Something else that also happens is him clinging to your back like a kola, with him running his hands over and over again over your thighs and arms as a stim.

And sometimes (often), he'll even run them over your chest and stomach.

This happens especially when he's having meltdowns, so you can't just shove him off.

And if you tell him to stop? He won't. Maybe he will for a while, but he'll "forget" and get back right to it.

If you tell him how it makes you uncomfy or how it's weird? He'll tell you that you're crazy. This is a completely normal friend activity, your just overreacting.

He especially does this when laying in bed with you, as he expects you two to sleep in the same bed. (You'll cuddle like this lmao, and donnie is the one clinging to you like a kola oddly enough)

Something else he also loves to do with you is parallel play.

You see, because of his independent nature, despite his obsession, not every waking moment will be spent talking to you.

But something that he still loves is just existing with you nearby, aka parallel play.

You two spend a lot of your time doing your own thing, maybe him coding as you watch movies or him napping as you play video games.

He loves doing this, and you like it too! it gives you back the freedom that was stripped away from you

Its the perfect solution! You and him can keep your independence while still being together, acting as one!

And during these moments, to stay connected, he'll use small, little touches.

A hand on the shoulder, sitting back to back (his favorite), an arm wrapped around your neck while you game on the couch, resting his face on your hand as you sleep. He loves them all.

And if you ever try and deny him any of this? Or slowly move away from him?

Well, he won't let that happen.

He's dependent on you.

He controls you.

He's obsessed over you.

He NEEDS you.

You won't ever go home or be alone again.

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This was way too long, but I love him so much <3 It was itching at my brain until I wrote it down. This could work for platonic or romantic yandere, I prefer some form of queerplatonic. Overall, I believe his yandere-ness to be a very "we are pretty much one lmao" type thing because I am also autistic but touch averse and I often feel isolated from others around me, as I feel as if I could never be vulnerable around them. I often dreamed of someone who just GOT me in a way that nobody else did. This led me to be very interested in the idea of "fusion" from su as the act itself seemed so intimate; Two beings becoming one, being able to share a body and coordinate a mind, become something bigger than their parts to the point where you're a new person? That would be amazing. So I imagined that with Donnie. He believes you two are the same person in the way that Stevonnie from su is shown to be when they first fuse. It's obvious that there are two parts of you but just the way you work together just feels so natural. Idk, this is just heavy projecting and may be out of character, but I love the idea of dependent Donnie <3 Very much Jason Dean from Heathers vibes

Also, this is all BEFORE kidnapping, imagine how bad it would be after that. He values your opinion heavily and always takes what YOU want into considerations, except the certain "hard no" topics like ones that came to your safety, including those constant health checkups. He's no expecting you to agree with him all the time, but he is expecting you to listen. He would never hurt you, and you know that, just as he knows you wouldn't hurt him (no matter how much you should) so why won't you listen to him? He's only trying to help.

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