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deathlieteez · 7 months

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ATTENTION (4/5)

yunho x reader

♡ attention series masterlist ♡ ┋chapter 1┋chapter 2.1┋chapter 2.2┋chapter 3.1┋chapter 3.2

chapter 4: heaven and back. when you finally met yunho that Saturday night, he confess the reason why he's acting that weird, and it is not going to be a bliss to your heart. feeling more lost than ever, you let yourself be drawn into whatever the night has to offer, though it seems to end up being much more than you can control.

appears: yunho as your exboyfriend x femb!reader + choi seungcheol (seventeen) x son chaeyoung as ur bests friends + yoon jeonghan (seventeen) as ur friend + chwe hansol vernon (seventeen) as seungcheol's friend

genre: angst. college au.

warning: cursing, mean/heartbroken reader, mean/heartbroken yunho, petnames, using/abusing of drugs (don't!!!!!!!), cheating.

word count: 9.1k (oops)

intentional use of lowercase letter

english is not my mother tongue

the chapter is called heaven and back because is sighly based on the chase atlantic's song

songs i get inspired by: heaven and back - chase atlantic + you broke me first- tate mcrae + the grudge - olivia rodrigo + falling - harry styles + creepin' - the weeknd + if you want love - nf + sorry, i love you - stray kids + we go down together - dove cameron ft. khalid + remember that night? - sara keys

the one i recommed the most to read it is the loneliest by maneskin

it is not meant to be representative of jeong yunho's personality or any ateez or another groups' idols who appeared ♡

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see you tonight.

yunho's absence and message made your morning into something infinite. got out of bed as if you had spent the whole night drinking, but what actually felt was a terrible emotional hangover. the memory of yunho haunted you as if he had never left, and almost had the damn sensation of his lips going all over your skin, as well as that sweet smell of his still stuck in your nostrils. his attitude was strange enough in itself to leave you thinking all day, but if you added the idea that he had been with another woman close enough to leave her scent on him, and the fucking fact that he had left you alone in bed after you let him spend the night for the first time after so many pleas, it was going to drive you crazy. was literally all you could think about all morning. it was, in fact, what you were thinking about when your doorbell rang, being so immersed in the memory of your fucking ex that the fright was such that you threw the coffee cup, which you'd been stirring for twenty minutes now while leaning against the kitchen counter, onto the floor. "shit!" you grunt for a moment before the doorbell rings again, and several times in a row "coming, i'm coming!" had absolutely no idea who it was, but it did nothing but fuck your mood even more.

you were very surprised to see that it was chaeyoung. well, an exaggeratedly angry version of chaeyoung. if thought you were in a bad mood, you were a puppy next to your best friend at that moment "i didn't come in just in case that asshole's still here. you better hide him, because i'll chew him up and spit him in the toilet, and u're next" she said pointing her index finger at you, still not crossing the threshold of the door. you sighed, stepping to the side to let her know she could come in.

"easy beast, he's not here." she snorted, entering your house in a bad temper. you couldn't blame her, but she had a lot of things to blame you. followed her into the kitchen, feeling slightly anxious. the only times you had ever seen chaeyoung like that was always when was involved with yunho, yunho's friends or the university. you had never been her target. you knew for a fact how much she loved you, in a practically sisterly way, so you understood perfectly why she practically left a trail of flames wherever she passed by. you would have appeared the same, or worse "careful, there's glass on the floor" you warn, she automatically grabbed several paper napkins and bent down to wipe the huge coffee stain on the floor. you imitated her.

"i've called tons of times, and left lots of messages." she accused, you sighed "the least you could do is call me back" looked at her with a mixture of shame and embarrassment building up in the pit of your stomach. you couldn't say anything, because she was right. not only had you blown them off the night before, but ignored them all and with no reasons. that's probably why seungcheol wasn't with chaeyoung to find out what happened after he left. he was too upset to show up at your house, and it was more than clear that he would have told chaeyoung why you didn't go to the club.

"m so sorry" you mumble, "wasn't in the mood. know that's no excuse, but…"

"but nothing. it's already awfully wrong for that guy to show up at your house at night, but to be ignoring us for him? girl, it sucks" she accuses again and you nod, as if you were being scolded by your older sister "i don't understand how you could even let him into your house, after everything that's happened".

"you know we've been seeing each other, chae" you swallowed after materializing it in words for the first time to someone other than yourself or yunho himself.

"yeah" she groaned in annoyance "but thought u guys fucked at parties or something, not that you let him get into your house?"

"we're all grown up now, chaeyoung" you sigh, picking up a few pieces of glass again, trying not to cut yourself and in the process avoiding her gaze. she stood up, throwing away a handful of soggy papers and picking up a few more to continue drying the floor.

"oh really? well doesn't look like it" she then growls "look, u can fuck whoever u want, but be consequent. u can't just disappear the whole night and leave us all worrying"

"i'm really sorry" repeated "it was a bit of a weird night" you confess once finished collecting all the crystals, cutting a small awkward silence "did u have a good time at least?" chaeyoung denied.

"cheol came in pretty upset, he told us what happened and we tried to call you several times after a while. still were going to stay, but then we saw yunho's little friends and seungcheol didn't want to continue the night. he and han went home together and i went home with jihyo" she related, making you sigh again.

"they didn't say anything to any of you, have they?" she denied, you nodded in relief.

"you know how overprotective he is with you and the whole thing with those guys" threw away the last handful of papers once the floor was finally clean, grabbing another cup from your cupboard and a capsule of coffee "at least tell me what's going on, and what happened last night".

so you did. recounted in detail everything that had happened, from the episode at the emergency exit, to yunho dumping that girl for you, and ending with the night before. you put special emphasis on one detail "he smelled like another chick!?" she practically shouted, you dropped your back on the back of the couch and nodded "he finished being with some chick and came to see u?" he snorted "i thought he couldn't, but he get even more scraggly. he must have been training"

"he's coming tonight" you confessed, causing chaeyoung's eyes to practically pop out of their holes.

"and you're even dumber, i see."

"wanna see him, chae."

"that's the first sign why you shouldn't do it. never again. fuck him. but no literally!"

you'd love to say that the conversation with your best friend did some good. that you took matters into your own hands and wrote yunho to tell him you didn't want him around, that he should stay the fuck home. but the reality was much different, much sadder and, from chaeyoung's point of view, ridiculous. your friend didn't understand what it was about this guy that kept you so interested, and you didn't exactly know either. but if there was ever a time when you really felt the need to see him, it was that night. his attitude and that message had to mean something, and it's not like you were able to ignore everything you felt while being with him.

luckily, now that you had finally been completely honest with her, chaeyoung decided she wouldn't leave you alone and tried her best to keep your mind off yunho, almost like the first time she had to deal with what he left of you when he cheated. it worked for a few hours, but as the time approached when you had to get ready to leave, it became clear how the anxiety was eating away at your confidence. you checked your cell phone every few moments, feraring a message from him, or maybe even hoping for one. chae watched you worriedly. she knew for sure that the time when you would relapse would come. yunho would be a problem again, because you two were in love and it didn't end well. one of you would come crawling back, but she hoped it wouldn't be you and that when he did, you would kick him back to his house.

"so can i borrow the black one then?" she asked with her head dipped in your closet. you laughed again, affirming with a guttural sound while trying not to go too overboard with the lip liner "great! i was looking forward to trying it on. it's so pretty!"

"just had to ask for it" you tell her once you finish filling in your lips in a gorgeous burgundy shade matching the dress you wore that night, and which didn't go unnoticed by your friend.

"how is it possible that u been looking like shit all day and now you look like you came out of a magazine?" she grunts, making you laugh again "it's cute" commented, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking at your reflection in the glass of the dressing table. you were doing the same, trying to gain confidence in your image. knew you looked pretty, but didn't feel particularly well. "haven't worn it in a while, have you?" chaeyoung asked, getting your attention. you look at her a little confused "the dress" you smile faintly at her, nodding.

didn't really wanted to have to explain it to her, but the outfit you were wearing that night was a real statement of intent, because it was exactly the same one you had the night you met yunho. it was still quite nice, a little less revealing than what you've been wearing lately, but sexy enough to fit a night like that. telling chaeyoung something like that would end up driving her crazy, but the truth is that you were wearing it hoping yunho would remember the dress. as you looked at yourself wearing it in the mirror, remembered all the times he told you how beautiful you looked and how much he loved the dress. he even asked you to wear it again several times throughout the relationship, but saved it for a special occasion because it meant so much to you. didn't know why, but that night you needed the confidence that dress gave you. it was probably a mistake, but you would do it anyway.

it wasn't too long before you arrived at the same place that had already visited countless times, and where the story with your ex was awakened with a fuck at the emergency exit of the reserved area. you felt a little better when you let the lively atmosphere captivate you, letting yourself be carried away by the incredibly cheerful and energetic attitude of your best friend, who guided you to the same place as always, where your friends were already waiting.

the first thing you did was apologize to all of them, and especially to seungcheol, who didn't take more than a few seconds to fall for your charms and your puppy face to hug you and kiss your forehead, even though he made you promise not to do something like that to them again "a message is enough. just want to know you're okay". the way it had started, the night had potential. and you could have taken advantage of it; you could have drunk, danced and laughed with the amazing friends you had at your disposal. you could have even tried to meet someone new, like the guy at the bar who had left his number on a napkin he shamelessly gave you, because didn't need one and hadn't asked for, during one of the many times you visited the bar in such a ridiculously short period of time. just like went to the bathroom, to smoke with jeonghan -when you didn't even smoke- and any excuse that was plausible enough and allowed you to browse the place as many times as possible, in search of a single person. of course, your friends asked you if everything was all right, but with the help of chaeyoung, who knew what was going on and didn't want to worry them, you distracted them. it was about one in the middle of the night when you finally saw him appear in the crowd, looking particularly handsome that night. he wore a white yarn sweater, the collar quite wide, revealing his collarbone, beautifully decorated with a couple of necklaces and highlighting the width of his shoulders. his hair was apparently messy, but you knew that he had probably spent a long time in front of the mirror checking every strand, and it had certainly paid off.

you didn't even try to find an excuse to meet him that time. just jumped up and left the reserved area, not listening to any of your friends' questions. from the stairs you could see him reaching a table at the down floor, where a couple of girls were sitting that you didn't remember seeing before. noticed him greeting one of them with a kiss on the cheek, bringing that smell back to your memory, but made sure to ignore the idea that crossed your mind and faded as soon as you saw him looking for you in the reserved area himself. he approached the stairs as you went down, so you decided to wait at the end of them "finally!" you said almost without breaking, sounding a little - too - excited to see him. yunho was about to speak, but your impatience interrupted him with a soft kiss on the lips that was confused to say the least, swallowing his words, not even sure what he wanted to say to you. with a sincere smile, you pulled his wrist to a corner a little further away from his friends and yours, a little further away from the crowd, and while he was still silent, you allowed yourself to kiss him again, leaning your back against the dark wall of the room. took a few seconds for yunho to react, feeling a slight panic sweep through his body, but deciding to surrender to you again. it was much easier to be carried away by your lips, so he brought one of his hands to your waist while cradled your neck with the other to deepen the kiss. felt as if the night before had not ended, as if the truce you had happily signed yesterday had continued to stand against all odds. "took a long time, yuyu" said to him as you separated to get some oxygen. he didn't even open his eyes before kissing you again.

he pressed his body closer to yours, breathing into your lips and making you feel like you're in a damn cloud9. buried both hands in his hair, stroking him as if to calm him, "hi" mumbled over your lips. actually, you didn't even hear it, you guessed it.

"been waiting for you" you confessed, not even thinking about how your attitude let yunho look a little deeper into you. "thought you wouldn't come" he remained silent, looking into your eyes like trying to find something. in fact, he was looking for some sign of remorse, of hatred, of resentment, of anger. some trace of everything you were giving him all this time, but he found in you nothing more than a honest desire to see him. he sighed heavily and took some distance from you, though his hands never left your body, going up to your face to cradle it once more. you held his wrists and smiled sweetly, "don't have a very good face, yuyu" you stated, looking genuinely concerned, "u ok?" yunho felt his chest shrink as the sweetness colored your words.

it was like you were doing it on purpose, as if you were fighting with your last ace to keep him close. he had worked hard to get to this point, he had fought against everything he felt so that would be moderately comfortable with what was about to happen. but it would only be fine if you continued to be a fucking bitch to him, one who didn't seem to care about anything. now that you looked at him as if you really wanted to be with him, as if you cared about his well-being and kissed him so lovingly, how could he say something like that to you? how could he not grab the last burning nail that was your relationship?

"no, i'm not well" he confessed. you took a careful breath and gently changed your sweet expression to a worried one. something was really wrong.

"here, let's sit" you suggest, pointing to the high chairs a few feet away "and maybe i can help you" if he didn't know you well enough, yunho would swear that you were trying to torture him playing with his feelings to trap him in your web so he would never leave you. but in actual fact, you were genuinely concerned about him and wanted to help him. reaching the chairs, without letting go of his hands, you sit facing each other. legs are intertwined, you only have to move a little closer to kiss him again, which you did, "come on sweetie, tell me".

"why 're u treating me so well?" he asked suddenly, almost burning with the torture of having you so close again.

you pursed your lips, tilting your head with a shy smile, "don't know" confessed this time, "yesterday was a nice day, i guess" yunho sighed with the memory of your naked body hugging his all night, making him feel like the fucking worst person in the whole earth.

"i have been waiting for you to look at me like this for a long time" with a weak and deep voice, it comes out almost in a wail "it is not fair that you act like this today" you looked at him with some confusion while he avoided your eyes as much as he could. instead, he look at your body without taking a second to notice what you're wearing. a grimace of sarcasm crossed his face, and he couldn't help but think that what you were trying to do to him must be some kind of heavy joke.

"today? what's happening today?"

"i've been doing the best that i can for about, how long, maybe a year?" his voice rises slightly and you can hear some bitterness in it. by contrast, yunho never lets go of your hands, making the grip harder and focus all the attention on them laying over the dress you are wearing "i have respected your space and accepted all the times you kicked me away" he said, you parted your lips without knowing exactly what to say, feeling more confused by the moment "gave you love whenever u were around, just to make u feel wanted and wash away what i did" you blinked several times, trying to pull your hands away, but he held them firmly, "went where you wanted, when you wanted, even when i knew you were doing with other guys" he sighed heavily, sharpening his gaze and finally looking at you. "needed to see me so fucked up to empathize with me a little? or did you realize that you still love me?"

when he looked into your eyes, you didn't like what you saw. no clue if all that anger and pain had always been there or if something you are missing had happened and yunho was actually in pain. the only thing you were sure about was that your patience was too thin to keep listening to him, and the sarcasm of his words didn't help at all. or did you realize that you still love me?

you yanked hard from his hands, surprising him but managing to escape his grip. denied with a bitter smile before said "let it go, it was a mistake", you said it out loud, but those words were more for you than for him. wanted to leave it there now that you still had some will to have a good night, but suddenly yunho realized he couldn't let you go that easily. the pride he had been swallowing all this time returned all at once and he was not willing to let you be the one to decide the course of the conversation again. yunho had come to this place with a damned purpose, and he was going to fulfill it whether you wanted or not. he stopped you down impulsively, grabbed your wrist and pulled back towards him. almost crashed into his chest, but you reacted quickly and put a hand on his shirt, pushing him back "what's wrong with u?"

"with me!?" he opened his eyes as if you had told him the most savage thing he had ever heard in his life, "the problem here is you!" suddenly yunho grabbed your shoulders and pushed you back against the wall, surrounding you with both arms into a corner so he can look down on you. it felt like you were tiny, and that wasn't what you needed that night, "come to me like you need to see me, kiss me, care about me, and in that fucking dress!" you looked away from him when his breath crash into your face so aggressively, because yunho was yelling, almost out of control and too close for your comfort. caught your breath to regulate the tension in your chest, feeling slightly dizzy. you looked like a prey, trapped under your ex's harsh and unforgiving voice, full of resentment "am a joke to u? wearing this on just to hurt me, yeah?" he growled. despite the toughness of his words, yunho was far from feeling tough inside. he was pushing himself to the limit, trying to contain a huge amount of emotions that he did not know how to handle at a time like this, when he had you in front of him and the person he decided to commit to just a few steps away, waiting for him.

when he got up in the morning next to you, had a feeling that he holds the world in his hands again. he barely slept through the night and made sure to stay close to you as long as possible, watching you as you rested, with your chest rising and falling gently, your peaceful face and your body completely relaxed. no tension, no fighting and no bitterness. you were an angel - his angel -, and he told himself he was the luckiest man in the world to be able to watch such a spectacle. yunho also realized you still had some habits, such as sleeping on your right side - which made yunho get used to sleeping on his left side so he could hug you -; you still talked a bit at night, and still hadn't given up your eagerness to steal his blanket whenever you had the chance. but his favorite, which he treasured as a precious memory, and which he loved to see you kept, was your adorable need to cuddle at night. he wondered more than once if you'd gotten over it because didn't have him anymore, or if you were holding plush animals like you once told him you did before living together. now that he had you there, tied to his torso as if you never wanted him to leave, he was afraid to even breathe too hard in case you moved and let him go. it was hard for him to give in to sleep, but was overly nice to see you again when he woke up. sure, you moved and were no longer holding him, but you were holding his hand. really seemed that you needed any contact with him as much as he needed you to do it.

knowing he must go while you were still asleep, he tempted his fate and stayed for almost an hour. the thought of leaving you was killing him, and his tears were the only witness, but it was better to go for himself than to let you push him again. was certainly sure he couldn't take it after having you this way again. he worked hard to convince himself that it was best to get away from you and trust her. she was good for him, but you weren't, because you could offer him nothing but nostalgia and the ghost of the woman he fell in love with. yunho told himself that the last night you spent together was almost a mirage, a kind of truce he had signed with you, but that it expired as soon as the sun rose on the horizon. so you wouldn't want him there anymore then, not knowing you haven't forgive him yet. he needed to stop blaming himself because you didn't want him anymore, to stop punishing himself with your kisses and your fleeting caresses, no matter how sweet they were. she looked like a white promise at the end of all this agony. couldn't even believe that she was giving him a second chance after what he had done to her for you, but he told himself he wouldn't mess it up this time, that would let you go and that you wouldn't suffer because you were really just playing with him. yunho wouldn't have to see you cry and he wouldn't cry for you anymore.

what he did not expect was to see you the next day in that dress that meant so much to both of us, taking him back to the night you met, while your eyes showed him a genuine illusion to see it again. he could even see the pain in your pupils as his voice, against all odds, became much harsher. he should hate you, but he hated himself instead "yunho, enough. wanna leave".

"oh, u want to go now?" he insisted, making you swallow hard while see him shocking his head many times "please tell me what you want from me" you looked him in the eyes again, an uncertain gaze locked with his. could barely make out the colors of his face in the dim light of the room, but you could clearly see the damage in his look, "can't take it anymore" he almost sobbed, dropping his head down to the floor "i can't keep paying for what i did. need u to stop punishing me, it's not fair to either of us anymore" locked out, the air was missing and could only feel the strong fragrance that yunho wore that night clouding your senses. you tried to concentrate on his words, but they only hurt. it was as if he had hit you so hard that all you could hear was a hollow and annoying sound. yunho kept talking to you, becoming more and more impatient with your silence, and in the midst of all the dull noise, your face began to fall as his words began to sink in. you thought coldly about what he was really telling you and a sour taste grew in your throat. you'd swear you'd fall to the ground if yunho hadn't left you barely space to breathe, intoxicating you with his accusations.

"yunho" mumbled, sealing his lips so he could hear you after trying to get your attention so much "if u don't like it, just leave" your head remained a little bowed, as if the neck couldn't bear the weight, so you looked at him from below "fair, you say?" snorted in denial as you closed your eyes again "know what's not fair? your boyfriend cheating on you, and knowing about it by a pic that someone sent of him kissing that fucking chick. that's not fair" yunho was going to say something, but you cut him off "it's neither fair that you came home the next morning and covered yourself with a lie, not fair that you kissed me with the same mouth that you kissed another girl the night before. that you came home every morning of every weekend without feeling the slightest bit of guilt until i discovered you, that's not fucking fair" yunho stepped back a little, letting you breathe a bit easier "it's also not fair the fact u forced seven fucking people who were also my friends to lie to me to cover up your fucking betrayal" looked at him again "know what it was like for me to lose u and all of them at once? that. is. not. fair" you spitted bitterly, punctuating every word "i saw the person i trusted the most taking away those we considered our friends, and yet you also took away my first love, my home, and everything i felt for u" here they were again, the tears piling up and threatening to wet yunho's cheeks, while you felt like tearing out every piece of yourself, every single night you spent awake missing him. you were now throwing them out in the form of all the conclusions you came to between cries and tears "so if you think what's happening is unfair, you'd better go and leave me alone for good" you were angry, and your words were not what really was in your heart, but weren't able to control yourself in the same way that he wasn't able to. however, also failed to calculate the consequences of what you just said.

"that's exactly what 'm trying to do" he replied, now at a safe distance from you.

"how do u say?" despite the word just spitted, you were incredulous.

"'m leaving you, leaving this" his cold gaze froze your body "i am tired, tired of you" he confessed. didn't even know how you felt at that time, but yunho wasn't finished with you yet "i've met someone, and i think i like this girl, but need to be away from you to find out" that was the masterstroke. the last words he needed to end you, with everything you had built since decided to focus on yourself, everything you had risked to bring him back into your life. even though you had managed to recover from all the hits he had soothed you with his words, there was no turning back from what he had just said so easily.

words sharp as blades pierced your whole body mercilessly, straight from the same lips that kissed you so lovingly just moments ago. you clearly heard something inside breaking again. i'm tired of you. his voice echoed in your head, as if he would never stop shouting it in your ear, over and over again, like a damned mantra he'd decided to tattoo on your skin. yunho knew for real he was being cruel, he watched almost in slow motion how your pride faded away as the light in your eyes started to dim, but he couldn't help his mouth breathing away what his broken heart was crying out.

the strident music fades and instead you only hear this one sentence and a high-pitched sound drowns your eardrums, you have the feeling that they will even start to bleed if you try to say something else, but all your pride has vanished with your breath. you have nothing more to say, and even if you tried, would not be able to hear a single word, so you close your eyes and try to erase yunho from your mind, but of course, his silhouette appears in the darkness of your eyelids, smiling and laughing at you, reminding the horrible person you are. felt so out of place, so confused and lost in a feeling of incorrigible pain, even greater than the first time yunho left, that don't even know how you have returned to the side of your friends. when you figure it out, you're sitting next to them and they're talking to each other as if you weren't there. inside, everything fell apart. on the outside, your face remained blank, almost serene. you craved to scream, wanted to find yunho again and shout him that it was all his fault.

the image of your boyfriend, with whom you even shared an apartment, kissing another girl, along with the certainty that he had been hiding it for god knows when, still burning inside your eyes and were not exaggerating when you said that it was the first time you felt the pain of a betrayal, added to the pain of a broken heart and the sudden loneliness. well, if you had to be completely honest with yourself, you hadn't handled what happened right, and had to admit that you were cruel. but within the pain you felt at that moment, the idea that it was yunho who had broken you to such an extreme, that it was yunho who was wrong first, who broke you and all that you were, shone more brightly in your head.

your gaze wandered from one side to another. the floor, the ceiling, the round table in the center of your seats, filled with full and empty glasses, the distand and happy faces of your friends, seungcheol holding one of your hands and giving you a loving grimace… the neon red of the exit sign where you fell into yunho's arms again.the light soon blinded you slightly, feeling your gaze begin to unfocus as the bright red dazzled you and tears unconsciously welled up at the edge of your pupils. memories of your ex filled your blurred vision, pulling you away from reality and back to the image of his lips on yours, begging you to stay a little longer. his hands craving around your skin, trying to keep you close. now all that was gone. i think i love that girl, but i need to be away from you to know. and to think that you had stayed devoted to his arms, while he sought solace in another girl.

when you were able to refocus your gaze, found yourself looking at yunho's table in the distance. everyone seemed perfectly happy, including your ex, who was hugging who you assumed was the girl that took him away from you, who was winning his heart, the same heart had been your home " honey, is everything okay?" when you heard seungcheol's voice, suddenly realized you are already truly crying, feeling the happiness of those boys as a direct attack on you. why, if you were the victim, were the only one still suffering? "baby, look at me" seungcheol quickly located where your gaze was heading and gently picked up your chin to force you to stop hurting yourself, trying to comfort you with a warm smile and a kiss on the forehead.

"guess 'm not at my peak" you let out a chuckle far from funny and wiped away your tears.

with his thumb, seungcheol caressed your wet cheek and raised both eyebrows "we have two options. i can take you home, you'll take a shower, we'll watch anything on tv and i promise i'll play your hair until you fall asleep if it'll make you feel better" the smile grew natural on your lips, provoking a similar one on his face. he couldn't help it even if he wanted to and he wouldn't; sex or not, you were his best friend and one of the most important person in his life since you both were able to open up to each other, understand each other, support each other and care for each other. he had met many people in his life because he was someone of a social nature, but with you it was a crush in any sense you wanted to take it. he was sure that whatever you could offer him would be enough, because loved you sincerely and would prove it "or you can stay here with all of us, try to enjoy the night and not let anything or anyone else get the better of you" knew perfectly well what his words meant, because he wasn't stupid and no matter how much you had tried to hide it, he clearly saw something big going on with yunho, and confirmed it as soon as he saw you unable to take your eyes off him and that beautiful girl he wouldn't let go even for a stand second "both options are valid and in both i promise not to leave you alone at any time. it's up to you" you took a breath with lips sealed, biting them slightly at your pathetic image going home early for a fucking cheating guy, who was also happily a few meters away enjoying himself after breaking your heart for the second time.

you wondered if you were too naive, if you really didn't know him that well and those looks full of love and pleading he so often gave when you were together were nothing but pure show, a fake better than yours designed to fuck up your life even more. was yunho so cruel, so cold and manipulative? that night, you needed to believe that he was.

"think i can give this place a second chance today" you spoke unsure of your decision, but willing to at least give it a try. yunho couldn't stop you, wouldn't let him, and you knew that seungcheol was ready to help with that.

"that's my girl" he said, kissing your cheek "in that case, i have something for you" you watched as he pulled out his wallet from his denim jacket, showing you a small black baggie that brought a new smile to your face "are you in?"

"sharing is for pretty people" chaeyoung appeared at your back, holding out her hand to seungcheol, who laughed and didn't fail to leave a small white pill in the palm of her hand, but to you he put it straight into your mouth, with a greedy smirk that you were quite used to and that made you slightly fall into his game. you stuck out your tongue slowly, where he left the pearl while looking at your eyes, brushing your tongue with his fingers and listening to him saying again that's my girl but, this time, several octaves lower.

however, cheol didn't move any more cards in that direction with you afterwards, again respecting your boundaries, which you were extremely grateful for. if you had to take it out on your best friend, you didn't want to do it. it seemed like playing dirty, even though you knew for a fact that he'd be more than glad to offer himself to the cause. it wouldn't happen, but his attitude helped to immerse you in the night.

while you waited patiently - as long as you could - for the substances to take effect in your system, you tried to distract yourself with literally anything. smiled, talked to all your friends at the table, joked even with them and tried to laugh heartily when the others did, but your attempts were not enough to contain your fucking curiosity and the inertia to satiate it by looking back to yunho's table.

sometimes, he wasn't there and you could only see his friends, because she was never there if he wasn't. you'd even swear that, on a couple of occasions, yunho looked in your direction too, but couldn't say for sure because, when you got that feeling, you looked away like a fucking coward. the last time it happened, your eyes ran to the bottom of your empty glass, and the need to cover your shame with alcohol fills your patience. obviously, you asked cheol to come to get another drink, and fulfilling his promise, he took your hand and walked with you downstairs to the bar. the crowd was heavy that night, which wouldn't bother you on any other occasion, but on this one felt the anxiety fill your lungs and keep the oxygen out. to make matters worse, a guy a little shorter than cheol walked up to him. you saw them hugging and understood immediately that they hadn't seen each other for a long time "babe, give me a minute. pay for the drinks, today it's on me" he took out his wallet again and put it in your hands "you'll be fine" you nodded with a smile, knowing would be very selfish if you told him otherwise "i'll be right back" cheol kissed your hand lightly before disappearing into the crowd. the thought of running into yunho, that girl or one of his friends hit your mind immediately afterwards, and had to take a deep breath not to run upstairs, because you didn't feel confident enough to face any of them, especially not your damn ex. luckily, you were served quickly and soon had full glasses in hands, so you opened cheol's wallet to pay the bill. that's when you met up again with the little black baggie.

the idea inevitably crossed your mind. looked around to find the people and the music were thick and mingled inside you with heaviness, feeling genuinely overwhelmed and the night didn't seem to be getting any better. although you'd already had one, this time it hadn't had any effect, so maybe… a second pill wouldn't be such a bad idea, would it? before you could think clearly - and realize that it was a terrible idea - you had the pill in your teeth, putting the bag back in seungcheol's wallet, who appeared seconds later accompanied by the same guy from earlier. you sighed, honestly a little uneasy because it was the first time you'd taken two pills in one night, but were too sober to stay on your feet. had run out of any strategy to keep you distracted and your gaze kept coming back to yunho and that damn girl over and over again. you were afraid of being too obvious, starting to cry again, or that some guy in that fucking group would notice you staring at them. "vernon, meet my favourite girl" the presentations were short, but pleasant. you soon find out that he's actually american and has been living there for a while, so it was great to see cheol again, a feeling that soon rubbed off on you. he was a really strange guy, but funny and very, very nice.

after talking to vernon for a while, which really kept you distracted - wouldn't be lying if you said that meeting him was almost a promise that the night could get better - it wasn't long before you finally felt your body react chemically. no clue if it was the fact that you were a little more relaxed, or that the dose was already high enough to have an effect on someone who was already used to a single pill, but suddenly, felt energetic and some kind of adrenaline rush hit you, along with the urge to expend that shot of electricity by partying for real. pulling your new friend along towards the same destination, the rest soon followed, tired from sitting on those leather couches all night. when finally made your way through the crowd of people, the music vibrated through your body, causing you to crack a smile that felt like it would tear at the corner of your lips. you knew yunho was close, but at that moment, didn't give a shit, focusing on nothing but your breathing becoming heavy in your chest as you jumped on the track, your heart pumping so fast that couldn't count the beats even if you wanted to.

at the height of the ecstasy you were experiencing for the first time, it felt like hours had passed, but in actual fact it only took two or three songs for the situation to change radically. in one of your little hops to the music, you clearly felt your knees failing to break your fall, and if it hadn't been for vernon and seungcheol's quicker arms, you would have crashed to the floor along with your glass, which shattered into pieces. it wasn't a big deal, and if you were in your senses, would have laughed at the situation and the fact that had already broken two glasses in one day. but not right then.

right then, you felt like every single look in thet club was falling on you. the hollow sound of glass crashing on the floor deafened you for a moment, and you could only focus on all those judgmental stares on your body, as if they knew you had just fucked up. as if they knew you had been dumped for someone else, that you were high and that, in reality, you would rather have taken cheol's first offer and gone home to rest and cry all the broken feelings pouring out of your heart. your breathing, once heavy, now became scarce. you had to hold on tightly to vernon's arm, who brought both hands to your sides to give you balance "beautiful, are you okay?" cheol asked you and you looked him practically panic-stricken in the eyes. you wanted to say no, that your heart was going too fast but you had no strength in either leg. you then tried to speak, but sickness built up in the pit of your stomach, causing a gag and forcing you to cover your mouth with a hand and only deny it.

seungcheol's reaction was, thankfully, fast. he whispered something in vernon's ear that you couldn't hear and gave you a quick smile before he disappeared running, or trying to, into the crowd. so far, you had been drinking quite a lot and quite possibly too much, so he opted not to waste a second trying to help. you wanted to follow him, confused and increasingly dizzy, but vernon held you tightly and forced a hand around his waist for a better grip "he'll be back. come with me upstairs" spoke in your ear. he broke away, looking at your legs slightly bent under your own weight "can u walk?" you nodded, gripping his waist even tighter before starting to move.

you had never experienced this feeling before. your legs were not responding and could clearly feel your body getting heavier by second, along with the involuntary bouncing of your head, like you had been drinking uncontrollably all night. it got worse as you approached the stairs, each step becoming a world, "there is not much left" vernon said, trying to cheer you up. you could see how was struggling not to fall down the stairs pulling your weight up, and couldn't help but feel stupid and helpless, because your head seemed to be working quite fast, with some clarity, but no part of your body wanted to cooperate. it was only when vernon finally managed to drop you into one of the couches in the reserved area that the fear really took over. every muscle in your body was so numb that you barely felt it, "easy, stay easy, you're fine" vernon knelt down in front of you to be at the height of your face, holding your hands and trying to comfort you. then he approached your face, looking closely at your pupils, trying not to be too obvious. didn't want to think about it, he wanted to be wrong. but either fortunately or not, vernon was quite sure of what was happening to you, and even though he tried to calm you down, because he also knew that it would be much worse if you found out, he was scared, and the deep black that suffocated your iris did not help.

seungcheol finally arrived with several small bottles of water and a tiny towel he had to ask for at the bar. you listened with a certain distance as vernon explained that your body was practically dead and you swore that you could hear your friend's heart racing as he realized how bad it really was at that point. you wanted to ask what was happening, but couldn't find any voice and only had the ability to cry, which you did when you saw cheol giving you a look of panic. he sat down on a chair in front of you and took both of your hands "hey, don't cry, don't cry" he began "i've called chaeyoung, we'll be leaving soon" you nodded in tears "but first u have to be honest with me, okay?" nodded again "did u drink something u didn't buy yourself? or any of us?" you denied this time, cheol sighed in relief "so you drank a lot then?" denied again. well, you actually drank a lot, but not enough to have you that bad.

"cheol, it's not alcohol, she's high" the music still raged in your ears and your senses weren't working properly, but you could hear vernon clearly. his words hit you like a bucket of cold water, making you cry even harder.

"high? like, drugged?" cheol repeated, notoriously confused. he was dead sure he had only given you a single pill, nothing you hadn't done a thousand times before.

"did u give her anything?" vernon denied, "nothing" he spoke honestly, "but these symptoms are not from drinking too much alcohol" vernon's voice was also full of concern, but he spoke with much more confidence than seungcheol. you opened your mouth to say sorry, wanted to tell the truth and apologize for being so stupid and irresponsible, but once again a gag forced you to shut up, sobbing in your seat in defeat as you tightened the grip of cheol's hands.

"what happened!?" you immediately recognized the voice of your friend nearby, and soon the left side of the couches sank, "u okay?" she cradled your face with both hands, getting a bad surprise when she saw the paleness of your skin soaked with tears.

"think it might be an overdose," Vernon spoke, "she've taken something, hasn't she?" your friends nodded.

"but we've done it many times, nothing like this has ever happened before." chaeyoung's voice cracked as she tried to talk to vernon.

"she must have taken something else" he approached your face again, lighting you up with his phone to see that your pupils, which turned your irises practically black, barely reacted to the intense light of the flashlight "for the moment she is awake, but it might be a matter of time before she collapses"

"don't mess with me, man" cheol complained, "we have to call an ambulance"

vernon took a deep breath before he replied "if you do, remember that this is punishable in korea" his voice seemed much more loaded with anxiety "she is not going to get rid of his drug use easily."

"and what should we do? expect the worst!?" chaeyoung was crying. you heard it clearly in her voice, and you felt your heart break for the second time that night, guilt and fear paralyzing any little sense you had left in your body, hating yourself for bringing yourself to such situation.

"of course not!" you felt the other end of the couch sink way, "we need to try getting her to vomit while she still awake"

"are u sure about that?" cheol insisted, but vernon shook his head.

"i'm not, but given the sympthons and her dilated pupils, it might be."

the next event was something you wished with all your might you could wipe from your memory, but clearly it would stay with you forever, as a lesson. the three of them accompanied you, practically dragging your body, to the toilet upstairs. it was chaeyoung who helped you vomit using her own fingers, succeeding after several attempts. the bile and tears stained your face, making you feel miserable in the cheol's arms, who tried to comfort your sobbing. when they succeeded, they sighed with a sigh of relief. chaeyoung hugged you after wiping her hands, and you felt guilty again because you could still smell the stink of your vomit on her. the crying increased as they tried to comfort you, and the worst part is, as you sat on the white bathroom floor, with your head resting on cheol's chest and your other two friends trying to soothe what was obviously pain, the only person you could think of was yunho, hoping that he would somehow find out what was happening, and come to take care of you. "i'm gonna get the water from the table, try to rinse her face while" vernon spoke again.

you heard the door close, and soon after, chaeyoung closed the lock to prevent anyone from seeing you in that situation. cheol tried to lift your body, but, oddly enough, it was even heavier than before. sure you had vomited, as vernon suggested, but you didn't feel any better - the nausea was still there and all the strength in your body was just a memory. all you could do was cry "chae" he called her "chae, it's not okay" the trembling in your friend's voice finally confirming reality, was the last push before anxiety, or panic, or maybe both, took over. you began to hyperventilate, the little air that filled your lungs left and felt a horrible pressure in your chest. your legs were shaking involuntarily and although you could feel your friends holding you up, had no stability at all. you were falling. their voices were still present, calling out to you in sheer terror, lightly patting your face as the lights dimmed. until you could no longer open your eyes. it was barely a couple of minutes, seconds for you and an eternity for your friends, but your consciousness faded for a moment, and your body became completely lifeless. by the time you opened your eyes again, the white light blinded you slightly before could clearly see the face of your friends surrounding you again, swollen and drenched "fuck, she's awake!" cheol practically shouted. you quickly pulled yourself back up, taking a big breath of air before running back out to the toilet to vomit. chaeyoung followed, brushing your hair away from your face as she patted your back. you could still hear her sobbing.

"let's go home" you mumbled, relieving a little more of chae's fear, who was yet to come out of shock at how you had ended up. you, who had always been an angel, who once trembled at the thought of taking something illegal or dangerous, were now slumped over the toilet bowl, messed up and on the verge of something she would have regretted for the rest of her fucking life.

didn't have to ask twice, all of your friends without exception, even including vernon, never left leave your side for a second -genuinely scared after seeing you in such a situation-, left the place. as you dodged the crowd, you thought about what could have happened, and you couldn't even have asked for medical help without ruining your record and destroying your working future in the country. you thought about what had done to your friends, who felt helpless and lost without knowing how and when you had consumed so much as to push yourself to the limit. but most of all, being infinitely selfish, you thought about how the only person you would really want to walk you home that night, to comfort you, to hold you and not let go until the next morning, was yunho. but the only, and the last, thing you got from him after all, was a last glimpse of his arm around that other girl you had been seeing him with all night, without him even giving you a single glance as you left that fucking club.

as you walked away from his figure, blurring through the salt that irritated your eyes, realized something that clicked in your mind like the piece of a puzzle you had been trying to complete for too long, and it is that the bitter taste of failure that agonized in your head and that did not let you breathe was actually the certainty that you had lost the only thing you thought you could still keep from yunho after he betrayed you in that way, after confirmed that he did not love you by doing something like this, that he was not faithful to you, that he was not yours. you had lost the one thing you could still treasure as your greatest and darkest obsession, you had lost his attention.

and with that, you had lost him forever.

OKAY ITS HERE!!! i struggled too much with that part because, although i had been thinking about it for a while, i had no idea how to write it to try to convey a sense of real loss and despair. i hope i succeeded at least a little bit!!! and above all that you enjoyed reading it ♡ although it is the last part, there is still the epilogue!!!!! and i am seriously thinking if it should be a good or bad one... anyway, thank you very much for reading me and giving love to my work, i am infinitely grateful ♡

all the loveeeee

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘♡⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

☆tags☆ @yeosangsbbg @atinyluv238 @livingdeadlisa-blog @kunikku @yzaeseong @pearltinyy @txt-yaomi @tunaasan @honeyhwaaa

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deathlieteez · 7 months

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this chapter reached 125 notes 😭🤧 also the serie its getting much more attention (😳) than i expected and im actually so so so thankful! thank u for reading, rebloging, loving and noticing my work overall, i have no words ♥️

ATTENTION (3.2)

yunho x reader

♡ attention series masterlist ♡ ┋chapter 1┋chapter 2.1┋chapter 2.2┋chapter 3.1

chapter 3, part 2: (the grudge) the truce. yunho shows up at your house on friday night even when he told you he'd be busy, and his attitude tells you that something is definitely going on. you feel like he can talk to you through his hands, his kisses and the way he looks at you. he's decided to get you, for the first time since he broke your heart, showing a little more of your most sincere feelings.

appears: yunho as your exboyfriend x femb!reader + choi seungcheol (seventeen) as ur best friend.

genre: angst, smut, a little fluff. college au.

warning: unprotected sex (be careful hun♡), cursing, mean/heartbroken reader, heartbroken yunho, petnames, oral receiving (yunho)

word count: 6.8k (sorry)

intentional use of lowercase letter

english is not my mother tongue

songs i get inspired by: i hate u i love u - gnash + die for you - the weeknd ft. ariana grande + collide - justine skye ft. tyga + i feel like im drowing - two feet + creepin' - the weeknd + if you want love - nf + sorry, i love you - stray kids + we go down together - dove cameron ft. khalid

it is not meant to be representative of jeong yunho's personality or any ateez or another groups' idols who appeared ♡

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ♡ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

when friday night finally arrived, you were ready to go out. again, a tight dress hugged your curves gracefully, and together with your make-up gave you the femme fatale look you enjoyed building on. seungcheol looked you up and down several times as you finally came out of your room. it was the first time you didn't let him watch you change, and although it made him curious and a little confused, he didn't say anything, respecting your space and privacy. after all, you hadn't had sex for a while either, managing to subtly reject him, even though it was completely obvious to him. he didn't say anything about it either, because his friendship with you was much more important. however, once he could see your body move clearly under that revealing, skimpy piece of fabric, his head stopped cooperating for a moment, letting the part of him that wanted you to death speak once more "my god, you look beautiful" he mused, almost in a whisper as you walk towards him with a necklace in your hand that you're unable to put on by yourself, letting out a small laugh.

"so you like it?" seungcheol carefully pushes the hair away from your back, watching you cocking your head slightly unconsciously. the curve of your neck makes him swallow hard, imagining how amazingly good a few of nibbles and hickeys would look decorating your delicate skin, and that he would gladly make.

"love it" confesses, unfastening the chain effortlessly. you feel his hands slide down your bare arms from your shoulders next, his breath hot against your earlobe. you tensed slightly, even though it's actually a fairly familiar sensation. but lately can't help but mistake desire for guilt when you're not focusing your attention on yunho, much to your chagrin, so instead of being turned on, any contact with a man other than your fucking ex is repulsive to you.

cursing yourself under your breath, knowing there is very little to be subtle about now that you are alone and there is no obvious excuse or reason to stop something you both enjoyed so much not so long ago, "but think i would like it better lying on the floor" he whispers, "we don't have to go today" suggests then, the breath in your lungs preventing you from speaking, nor do you have the courage to turn around and ask him to stop running his hands down your sides, anticipating the feel of your bare skin. you felt really bad. cheol was your best friend and in bed he worked wonders, so there was no reason to say no. besides, in his eyes, you hadn't had sex for literally months, and he had been drooling over you for just as long, and the memory of your beautiful body writhing under his touch, the same one that made you so uncomfortable right now, "what are you saying, beautiful? i missed you like crazy" with the first kiss on the hollow of your neck, you can't take it anymore and finally turn around, abruptly moving away from him.

a lot has changed in you, in fact you'd swear that everything has, but you'd be lying - you were still a terribly faithful and devoted person. it seemed like that was one of your greatest virtues as well as a fucking curse, because losing your desire for any other guy but fucking jeong yunho was out of the question. but it was impossible to avoid it. his image came to your mind every time you even tried to dance with someone else, and when someone touched you, your skin practically burned with the desire that it was none other than yunho. at first you tried to silence all these thoughts, tried to silence all the voices in your head that told you it wasn't him, but after a while you decided to accept it, and so the number of times you saw yunho increased considerably, though neither of you complained. despite the fact that you had to be completely honest with yourself, and thanks to this dialog that was only going on with you in your head, the only time you really found this strange mania of having only yunho in your bed annoying was when it involved seungcheol.

although he never pressured you in any way, you saw the disappointment in his eyes every time you rejected him with excuses and sweet words. he told himself that it was okay, that being your friend was more than enough, and it was true, or it would be if you never stopped flattering him, touching him, and getting close to him as if could never refuse anything he had to offer. for you, this was just the nature of your relationship, and had not yet fully understood the strong sexual component hidden in your little games and frictions, so you never stopped them, and cheol never stopped thinking about you sexually. that's why when practically pushed him out of your atmosphere, with an uncomfortable smile on your face, which, by the way, was hell red, he could only ask, "am i missing something? did something wrong?" sounded slightly offended, although he tried to hide his frustration to not look childish, blaming you for not wanting to have sex with him anymore.

you sigh and close your eyes tightly as you mentally debate whether or not it's a good idea to tell him the truth. you knew that seungcheol would support you in whatever decided because he truly loved you, but after everything that happened you felt stupid and didn't know if you were strong enough to put into words what was going on. didn't care if yunho's friends knew, because their opinion seemed to be irrelevant to you, but your own friends… that's another story. obviously chaeyoung had deduced something from some hint you dropped from time to time, but the rest had no idea, and cheol made it clear at that moment, completely lost and frustrated "you didn't do anything wrong, cheolie" stammered, scratching the back of your neck in search of courage, "it's just that… there's something that…" you were about to say his name, about to put the relationship that had hurt you so much and over which you had cried so much with seungcheol himself back on the table, ready - or not so ready - to make a fool of yourself in front of the man who had warned you over and over again to kick him back to his fucking house if he came back. not only did you not kick him any of the times he came back, you went to his fucking house to look for him yourself, but as if you had said it, the doorbell rings, saving you for a few seconds from making a fool of yourself.

"i'll get the door, you keep trying to formulate a sentence that makes sense" he sneered, disappearing into the hallway for a moment. you heard the door open but nothing else, neither a greeting nor footsteps returning to the living room, so you asked who it was, raising a voice, "i don't think you need to explain anything to me anymore" seungcheol appeared around the corner of the hallway, his completely inquisitorial face peering out, both eyebrows raised and lips flattened into a thin line. you followed him with the worst feeling in your stomach, which was confirmed when you met yunho's slender figure in front of your door. his face was serious, had no doubt why, but could still see the anxiety lurking behind his gaze. without a word, he entered your apartment and bumped seungcheol with his shoulder, who laughed ungracefully and held his breath, trying to control himself when he looked at you.

"can we talk about this later?" you muttered, avoiding his gaze at all costs. he felt a pang of disappointment, no longer because he almost certainly knew what was going on - although anything to do with fucking yunho would have touched his balls just the same - but because you had kept it from him since god knows when. however, he said nothing more about it and just nodded, giving you the benefit of the doubt. kissed your forehead before saying "if anything happens, call me. i'll be here in a second" you smiled at him and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek, encouraging him to leave.

you had something important to sort out at your house, you knew it just by looking at his face, without having to say a single word. after all, you've been close for years, so you knew yunho better than yourself, although now you can't be sure of anything. it was already past eleven o'clock at night, but you expected him to have spent the whole day with those "plans" that weren't with his friends, and apparently wouldn't let him spend the night with you, so were quite surprised, but not upset. you didn't mind arriving later than the others, you would soon catch up with them, you were much more curious as to why yunho was at your house. when you closed the door behind you, you could see your ex in an almost frantic state. he started pacing around the room, head down, staring at the floor as if searching for answers in the wood grain of the worn parquet, desperately trying not to make his point. without coming out of shock, you tried to talk to him "yunho, what are you doing here, is everything ok?" being careful not to be too harsh, maybe just a little distance, but make sure you didn't push his boundaries too much, not then he seemed to be completely gone.

"had to see you" confessed without any shame. indeed, the anxiety had already wreaked havoc on his nervous system, and when you approached him, knew that the alcohol had been there as well. you rubbed your face with both hands, worried on the inside, tired on the outside. "what didn't expect was to see him" he growled, again uncensored. he knew for sure that it would never be a good idea to bring seungcheol into the conversation, because you would defend your friend tooth and nail, but he didn't care at that moment. all yunho wanted to do was see you. he needed to touch you, smell you, hear you, have you close to him. he was lucky to find you still at home because he didn't want to do it surrounded by a bunch of sweaty people with the frantic rhythm of a song in the background that would force him to dance. he wanted intimacy, once again.

you are sincere this time, making his eyes travel to yours for the first time, raising one of his eyebrows, unsure if he heard right. he looked so pitiful at that moment that you tried to comfort him, even if it was with lies? more than pitiful, in your eyes he looked defeated. something you had always been very good at, from the moment you met him, was reading him. you knew when he was happy, sad, excited, horny, hurt… and of course, defeated. you'd only seen him like that once in your whole life, but that day, which was nothing else than the day everything went to shit between you, stuck in your mind and with it yunho's expression. how he watched you walk away, without being able to do anything but look away, unsettled him second by second; oddly enough, he looked exactly the same at that moment. although apparently everything would be a matter of time that night.

"i shouldn't care, should i?" he let out a bitter laugh and dropped his body onto your couch, his legs spread wide and his head resting on the back with his eyes completely closed. you hated to admit it, but you were genuinely worried about him, so you were frustrated because you didn't know how to try and help him without giving him the fucking privilege of seeing that you still cared about his fucking well being. you took a deep breath and followed him to the couch, sitting carefully across from him on the little cafe table.

"no, u shouldn't" you state, yunho sighs.

"why do you have to make everything so fucking complicated?" he suddenly says, confusing you even more "why can't you just be a normal girl? talk about fucking feelings, learn to forgive, not act like you don't give a shit about everything" he growls, this time rubbing his face "i'd love to understand how i got to fuck with your head so much, or maybe you were already like that before i met you" he thinks out loud, making you laugh. he had a certain reason that it would be stupid to deny: you didn't have an answer for that either. the ideas in your mind confused reality and fiction every time, involuntarily, the logic in your head tried to make sense of what was still going on with yunho. when you looked at your reflection in the mirror once you kicked him out of the house, who you saw was not yourself. sometimes felt that you were playing a role, that what you were doing had only a childish and - a bit - cruel purpose, but then you found yourself comfortable and strong in your new skin, enjoying the way yunho came back to you again and again, and, damn, you loved how he needed you, so much that, maybe, you started to need him too. that's why, and for your own pride, you always used to opt for keeping your composure, for keeping that role.

your laughter is not subtle, but thunderous and full of sarcasm, which gets his attention again. he leans back on the couch to see your smile, which actually hides a terrible desire to punch him in the face with an open hand. licking your lower lip, you lean forward and close the distance a bit, showing a little more of your cleavage - obviously yunho is quick to take a first look "m going to be nice to you, whether you deserve it or not, and 'm going to shut the fuck up because i can see u're really fucked up" your voice is soft, doing a great job of controlling yourself, something you've perfected over time thanks to him "but don't know how far my patience will go, so if you just came here to spew bullshit out of your mouth, can go tell it to yourself in the mirror.

yunho's gaze sharpens on you, feeling the blood in his body begin to rush hard through his veins as his heartbeat increases. the memories of a few hours ago come flooding back to his mind: smiles, caresses, promises. with you now, all he gets is sarcasm and sourness. yet for some twisted reason that eludes his logic, he wants more. he was tired of always wanting more than you could offer, even if it was just that condescension and coldness, followed by a few kisses and a fuck. he suffered like a fool, but was addicted to you, and seeing the person you were now, he didn't understand why. A nasal laugh anticipates the movements of his body, which is already attracted to yours as if you were a big magnet and he a weak and light piece of metal. he enjoys seeing you, smelling your perfume and almost feeling your aggressive but attractive fucking attitude penetrate his head. you enjoy it too. you enjoy how his gaze moves quickly around all the corners of your face, taking longer to notice your lips, your cleavage and your naked thighs. You enjoy how he takes the initiative to get closer to you. and you enjoy it even more when you hear him say the following: "i came to see you because it's you who fucked me to the core," he growls again, carelessly placing the palm of his hand on your thigh, covering it almost effortlessly. tightening his grip, you tilt your head to the side with an unfriendly smile on your face.

"if you don't like it, just go" you say, while being absolutely sure that yunho wouldn't do that. he couldn't leave you, because he needed you as much as you needed him. a grin appears on his face, but it is far from being sweet. his tongue runs along his lower lip, grabbing your wrist to pull you towards him, pulling you effortlessly, because you would let yourself be carried away by whatever yunho could offer you. that was the only truth, one that you would never admit and that you would take with you as a secret confession, but he was still the only person in the world who could make you feel so much and so intensely with so little. a look, a touch, a kiss, even a word. in the same second, you could hate him with all your heart and crave him as if he were your last meal. you also missed him deeply when he was gone, because obviously bringing your ex back after living together for so long had consequences. weren't sure how you felt about him, but what you did know was that you weren't interested in finding out, focusing all your efforts on keeping your cool as much as you could - which was too much for yunho - and not letting anything resembling the word love come up again, because it was obvious that you still resented him deeply.

when you are close enough, he doesn't need much to pull you from your hips and make you sit on his lap. you put both hands on his shoulders for support, while he caresses the line of your sides over the fabric of your new dress. for a few seconds, you remain silent, eyes fixed on each other, like trying to speak without saying a word. however, you don't quite understand what's happening, why suddenly yunho looks and feels completely different. his gaze on you is somehow different, something you've never seen in him before. "you don't want me to go" his voice is soft and rough, as if he's trying to hypnotize you with a melody similar to the hamelin flute. another battle raged inside you: could you be honest again and let yourself be carried away by a side of yunho you seemed to be getting to know at that moment, or continue with the role.

was it right to give in even a little to someone who had broken your heart? despite what he might think, you felt weak in his arms because you knew for a fact that you shouldn't be there. but there was something about the way he touched you that kept you coming back. it was probably an obsession, a dark desire that he would never leave your sheets, no matter how badly you treated him, no matter how he made you feel. told yourself that you deserved to have him and that he deserved everything you did, like it was your personal sweet revenge. but moments like that, when he looked at you as if he knew your every secret and still wanted to discover you beyond the layers of clothes and skin he always ended up exploring, moments when it wasn't just desire you read in his pupils, when you could still read love and admiration in his eyes… moments like that made you vulnerable to him.

"you've done it so many times before, sweetie" without giving in to the pang in your chest and the need to tell him he was right your words echoed bitterly through yunho's head with an infinite echo. you yourself could see his face darkened slightly. and then he didn't know exactly what he had come to do beyond satisfying his thirst of you- he felt different, things were changing and there seemed to be no return, so he hoped, foolishly, that you could understand him by the way he had come to you that day, because that's the kind of connection he always trusted you two shared. he didn't really know what he was surprised about or what he was waiting for. you don't want me to go, he said it more to himself than to you. he needed to hear you say it. ask him to stay, because if not… he was afraid he wouldn't (want) be able to come back.

he squeezed his eyes shut as he thought of her again. short brown hair that made her look so adorable against the roughness of your figure; her beautiful smile full of promise, empathy and compassion; her slender, slim body that felt so delicate under his huge hands and that he had been able to enjoy almost completely just a few hours ago. only one thing stopped him from devouring the sweetest girl he had ever met after you, and that was exactly you. he felt like he would be letting you down if he just did it, and felt like the dumbest person in all of south korea because was - wrongly - sure that you were still fucking around, especially with choi damn seungcheol. so when he apologized to her for not going all the way, came to you like a madman. the taste of her lips was still present on his, just like her perfume was still on your ex's skin, but you were so lost in what you already knew that you didn't notice any of it. for you, seeing him close his eyes was a sign of pain, but the reality was that he wasn't even thinking about you.

his hands left your body to cup your face this time, caressing it with his thumb as he slowly opened his eyes to meet yours. you were confused and he could see it clearly, loving to see you like this, finally a little more vulnerable. he enjoyed it as much as it tortured him. sighed softly before he said, "when i've really done it, u're going to miss me" another overwhelming truth that made your chest tighten at the thought, but again you didn't let him know that he had hit the key. what would happen when this was over? you didn't want to think about it. just the thought of it, awakened a new wave of desire and need in you, to hold him close, to taste him. you tried to move closer to him, to finally join your lips, but he stopped you "so beautiful" he whispered "it hurts just to look at you" with the words coming straight from his throat, you swallowed, soaking in a new sensation under his touch. "and we fit so well together" he left your cheeks to lower one of his hands to your waist while he outlined your face with the other. aware of his own movements, he left a soft kiss on your chin, "your all drive me crazy" as his fingers trailed down your skin, a trail of wet kisses erasing the path he had drawn with his touch. felt your chest shrink as your panties soaked with each new contact of his lips. you had no idea what he was up to, nor how it made you feel, but there was no way you were going to stop him. "if you had asked, i would have done anything for u, know that, right?" he looked at you again, this time sinking his fingers into the bare skin of your thigh as his words penetrated your head. you didn't want to say anything anymore, afraid to break whatever it was doing to you.

yunho was pushing the boundaries you had set for him and would be lying if he said he wasn't surprised you allowed it, but was glad you didn't stop him as he worshipped you for a damned long time. it was as if it was written in the stars, probably the most opportune day for you to let him show something beyond a hard cock and how good he could make you feel with his body. felt like saying goodbye to him, even though you couldn't recognise what was happening. your eyes moved silently to his lips as he spoke his words to you, and yunho felt his heart ache as he watched you wanting him in a different way. you respected what he desired at that moment, which was nothing more than to worship you, and it felt slightly as if time had not passed. nostalgia overcame him and he had to fight back the tears in his heart at the memory of a sweeter version of you, madly in love with him and not heartbroken because of him. he would have given anything to keep you like that forever, to freeze the vague feeling of recovery, to satisfy the grief that tormented him for having lost you.

it was an idea he had recently accepted. he had lost you, and the one who was with him so many nights these last months was not you, it was the memory of you, a mere shadow that could only comfort him for a while, because you no longer wanted him. because yunho was sure that there was no more room for him in your heart, so he decided that for his own sake he should leave you behind, though not yet. "do you want to kiss me?" asked with a trembling voice, and you nodded without taking your eyes off his mouth, which was smiling slightly. he didn't want to prolong it either, so he finally let his lips caress yours first, gently, letting his breath creep down your throat as a foretaste of his own tongue, which attacked your mouth as soon as you could really feel it. hands travelled down your back until they reached the zip of your dress, letting it fall gently through your skin, using his hands to remove the fabric from your shoulders, following the same path that seungcheol had just followed. the difference was that it felt good now. it was good because it was yunho who was touching you.

you didn't know what was different this time, but your skin reacted to it by making even the hairs on your body stand up, causing yunho to smile in the kiss as he brushed the skin on your arms. oxygen was getting scarce, but you didn't care, you wanted to go on, you wanted to devour him in the sweetest way possible "seems you missed me" the voice is soft against your lips, but you stand firm with the little conviction you have left, at least until he asks you to "tell me, please" resting your forehead on his, closed your eyes tightly, gathering the courage to confess.

"yes" you whispered, "thought i wouldn't see you today" he was still looking at you, still holding on to the memory of your awkwardly made-up eyelashes, with an extra black lump that curved upwards as if they had no end, the curve of the bridge of your nose and the way your cheekbones outlined your pretty face. yunho wanted you to open your eyes, but you were still too cowardly.

"that bothered u?" he whispered, stroking your hair "not being able to see me today" you nod, breathing deeply with your lips sealed. don't know why, but a handful of tears threaten to leave your eyes, so you pushed them shut tight before opening them. his were full of tears too, along with something that, again, you couldn't identify mixed with a very, very sweet smile "so you want me to be here" he says and you nod again, as if you've forgotten your role and even how to articulate a word.

for yunho it was enough. he had got what he wanted, as if he finally reached the end of a very complex book, as if he had discovered you. but even though he was satisfied, he wasn't well. he was sad, and he knew that even if his whole body asked him to kiss you again, which he certainly would, it wouldn't be the solution. despite knowing this, his lips met yours briefly before the kisses traced a new path down your skin, your chin, then your body and finally your breasts, exposed as the fabric of your dress fell over your hips. used both hands to lift the skirt of your dress, exposing your underwear, which he immediately removed so that you could feel for the first time the mess he had made of you, just with his kisses and his words. at this point yunho wanted to taste you as soon as possible, and he could just fuck you and satisfy the bulge that was already growing painfully under the cloth of his trousers, but would be missing a wonderful opportunity to enjoy you. looked up at him almost anxiously, tilting your body back slightly, leaning on your arms on the small table so you could spread your legs for yunho. he dug his fingers into the skin of your thighs, leaving wet kisses on the inside, and made his way to your cunt. with his teeth he pulled your lingerie aside and licked your clit without waiting, making you sigh. you trembled at the sensation, as if you hadn't fucked him the day before, as if you hadn't seen him for ages. yunho increases the strength in his grip on your thighs before he releases one of them and you use his fingers inside your completely flooded hole, smiling with pleasure as he hears a moan catch in your throat when he slips two fingers in at once. he knows your body, knows how to make you see the fucking stars and is doing it when you've only just started.

he abused your hole with his fingers, licking your clit like it was his last meal, and you were embarrassed even by the amount of moaning and pleading that came from your lips as you felt your orgasm unfold in the pit of your stomach. buried one of your hands in his hair, pressing it against your pussy while fucking his mouth with your hips. yunho fought against everything in his goddamned being not to fuck you right then and there, deciding to make you come in his mouth before he fucked you senseless "fuck, fuck, fuck" the pitch of your voice is quite high, unable to contain yourself. yunho's tongue flicks harder than thought possible, you try to push him away at the overwhelming sensation of your orgasm, but he sinks his head hard between your legs until a deep moan leaves your throat and you breathe again, albeit unsteadily, as you cum in your ex's mouth. yunho, without any regrets and swearing he could only cum from the scene he's just experienced and your completely banged up image, licks every drop, tasting you.

your hot body glistening in a thin layer of sweat, your chest rising and falling as you try to catch the breath you didn't know you were holding. shit, you were amazing to him. from another fucking world. "that was…" you mumble, unable to find words good enough. yunho grins at you again, this time full of pride, and stands up to kiss you, giving you a taste of your essence. he moans against your lips as he feels your hand on the bulge in his pants, on the verge of tears from the need to sink into you.

"drop my pants the fuck down" he growled, making you laugh, but obeyed without hesitation. you unbuckled his belt in the middle of the kiss, not without difficulty, then took over his buttons and pulled them down roughly, eliciting a moan from deep in his throat that he stifled by biting down a little harder on your lower lip. "to bed," he demanded.

"how about we end it here? i don't want to wai-" you try to sound seductive, but his voice, so much harder and deeper than yours, cuts you off.

"today i'm gonna fuck you in bed" he demands again, forcing you to get up. you start to walk in front of him, jumping a little when you feel his hand hit your ass. you're not surprised by the act itself, because actually yunho has always been like this, but he hasn't been like this with you for a long time. he liked to feel you, to play with you, to show you that every part of you pleases him at every moment, and to touch your ass and then hug you from behind and kiss your shoulder gently, as if he hadn't just finished eating your pussy was part of his love language.

"and these urges, where do they come from?" asked with a hint of amusement in your words. when finally reached your room, yunho pushed you onto the bed and climbed on top of you, resting his knees on either side of your hips. the corners of his lips were also raised, showing an amused grimace.

"i want you to think of me tomorrow when you wake up" he confessed, kissing your lips briefly, "and whenever you go to bed" another little kiss.

"we've fucked here tons of times" you said, raising your eyebrows.

"today is going to be so much better," he whispered against your lips, coming within inches of your face as he removed his boxers. you helped him with the shirt, revealing his slightly toned but mostly slender torso, his smooth, almost porcelain skin and his incredibly broad shoulders. you ran your hands over his skin, admiring him for the first time in a long time. yunho didn't know if the tears he felt caking his chest were from happiness or sadness.

"you're amazing too, yuyu" with your words, yunho closed his eyes again, like he was trying to remember your voice as you confessed your biggest secret to him. now it was your turn to appreciate how incredibly beautiful his face was. his naturally shaped, beautiful pink lips, his big, slanted eyes, closed and adorned with hundreds of eyelashes, the straight bridge of his nose or the hot way his hair stuck to his dirty skin with sweat, even though he hadn't even fucked you properly yet. you cupped his face with both hands to bring your lips together again, "what are you waiting for? make me miss you every time you're not here" his eyes snapped open, taking a few minutes to stare at you almost in disbelief before his gaze focused on you and a confident grimace crossed his face.

what the fuck was that and why did you have to tell him that night? it was as if you suddenly knew what was about to happen, even though in reality you were just letting yourself go for the first fucking time. he aligned his cock, hard to the point of pain, with your entrance and let out a little laugh in anticipation of the first thrust. he didn't bother to be gentle, ramming you again and again, hitting your g-spot and making you moan each other's names like a mantra, bringing you together in a frenzy you hadn't felt in a long time. yunho watched as you arched beneath him, your eyelids shut tight and your hands lost behind his back, digging your nails into his skin as you moaned and cursed at how good it felt. there was nothing different about his actions; he wasn't fucking you differently, he wasn't kissing you differently or even touching you in new ways, what made him better than ever was that you were allowing feelings to creep in beyond pure pleasure and that was taking you so much higher without you even knowing it.

just like yunho, who melted into you every time you groaned his name as if it was the only word in your vocabulary. he placed his hands on your hips and deepened his cock inside you, making you tremble. he knew by the way your walls absorbed it that you were close, so he made sure to stimulate your clit as well. "why do you always feel so incredibly good, jagiya? " he whimpered over your lips "even more stunning when my cock is stuffing you. look at that, when did u become so needy?" your chest rose and fell with difficulty as you felt your orgasm approaching for the second time with the help of his fingers and his voice "you're the best thing i've ever seen in my whole fucking life" as you arched your back and got another access to your insides, yunho had to restrain himself not to screw it up. not to say something that had always stuck in his throat, from the first day until today, and that he feared forever, even though he didn't want to "going to cum, aren't you, beautiful?" he grunted instead, bringing his free hand to the curve of your neck and squeezing lightly. you nodded with tears running down your cheeks, feeling yourself getting closer and closer "cum on my cock, jagiya, 'm close too" with his words, you pushed his face to yours with both hands to kiss him again.

you savoured his mouth with your tongue for a few more minutes before you moaned loudly against his lips, absorbing his cock with your walls like there was no tomorrow, pushing him into his own orgasm as well.

after a few seconds he dropped his body next to you and quickly wrapped you in a hug. you were so close, in such a different way, that you were afraid that even yunho could hear your heartbeat, which was beating particularly fast, not only from the recent orgasm, but from the way he felt it on your skin. he kissed your forehead and it was then that you dropped practically all your barriers and lay down on his side so that you could hug him tightly as well. yunho bites his lower lip, wanting to cry out all the things he's feeling right now, completely lost in you, while you sink your head into the hollow between his chest and neck. it's just then that you notice a new scent on his skin. a sweet, floral, distinctly feminine one. and it wasn't yours. fatigue grows in your stomach and you gasp for air, wondering if it's just your imagination, if your brain is playing tricks on you because you gave in to yunho. whether it's true or not, you wanted to cry at that moment too. "can i stay tonight?" his voice was almost a plea, and for a moment you thought you understood what was going on.

with fear forming a lump in your throat, feeling too much and trying not to ask if it was true what had just crossed your mind, you answered him "please".

that night, when yunho didn't let go of you for a single second, you wished with all your heart and soul that time would stand still. that this bed, which suddenly felt so much like home when he held you between the sheets, would hold you forever. it was a terrible feeling and it burned like hell, but you let yourself be caught up in it, at least for that night. you let yourself fall for him and for everything he made you feel, even if didn't want to name it, just for that night. yunho didn't feel much different from you, only he could recognise how he felt about you. he still loved you, and he always had. but you hurt him, and he knew that the truce you had signed today would not last beyond next morning. it was necessary, it had to be like this. because he had made a deal with someone else, and because you didn't deserve him to break that promise for you. so as soon as the first drops of light came through your curtains, yunho left your house. he kissed your forehead in tears and stayed for a few minutes to watch you sleep, to imprint your image on his retina, before he walked out the door for the last time, again without saying goodbye, denying you the chance to see him suffer for you once more.

when you wake up a few hours later, the first thing you notice is his absence. you sigh, feeling empty and blaming yourself for letting him spend the night. when you pick up your phone, among several messages from chaeyoung, blaming you anyway because she knows exactly why you didn't show up at the party, there's one from yunho.

see you tonight.

hi thereeee. im so sorry for the late, but i am really busy these days with college and i have any time for writting or doing anything else than studying :( in this part i think i've gone tooooo much, but i cant help myself and this is only the aftertaste to the last part (which is already written, just need to be translated).

hope u enjoyed and see u soon, lots of loveee ♡

☆tags☆ @yeosangsbb @atinyluv238 @livingdeadlisa @kunikku

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ♡ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

#ateez #ateez fic #ateez series #ateez yunho #thank u so much #😭💖

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deathlieteez · 7 months

Text

to be his, chapter 1. the night we met

woosan + yunho x reader

♡ to be his series' masterlist ♡

chapter 1. the night we met: as you remember the night you met wooyoung with a drink in your hand and the certainty that he was cheating on you, someone appears in front of you with the intention of making your night a lot more interesting.

pairing: wooyoung x fembod!reader

appears: wooyoung as ur boyfriend + san as yeosang's friend + yeosang as ur and wooyo friend

genre: angst, a bit of comfort, romance. college au.

warning: alcohol, cheating. tbh the first one is softttt there's anything to worry about (just give me some time)

word count: 3.8k

intentional use of lowercase letter

english is not my mother tongue

it is not meant to be representative of jeong yunho's personality or any ateez or another groups' idols who appeared ♡

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ♡ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

kim hyunseo was the most stunning girl you had ever seen in your life. she had endless legs, a tiny waist, and tits that you weren't sure were physically possible in such a slim body. she was also gorgeous, and to top it off, was smart and friendly, with those big brown eyes that gave you a warm welcome every time she saw you coming, as if she was really happy to see you. and as if that weren't enough, she came from a wealthy family, but she was a self-made woman who had paid her own way through school and was now working as a lawyer in the same fucking super popular, expensive and prestigious law firm as your boyfriend. and you? well, you worked part-time at a convenience store near your college, which was arts. a nice vocation, sure, but not like you had many job opportunities, to be honest. you hated to admit that felt in constant competition with her, mostly because she was better than you at everything and crushed your confidence to the ground. you couldn't even stand to hear her name, which sucked because your dearest boyfriend had it in his fucking mouth all fucking day.

hyunnie this, hyunnie that, hyunnie, hyunnie, hyunnie. fuck you, hyunnie.

well, wished you could at least hate her, but there wasn't even the slightest hint of rejection towards her in you, not when she was always so overly nice to you.

every time wooyoung had a dinner or company party, that girl made sure to stay by your side all night because she knew your boyfriend too well and he had a tendency to over socialize, over drink and over give himself into the night. she sent you lovely messages on your birthday and even invited you to the mall a couple of times to go shopping together. how could you compete with such white teeth, warm heart and a face that looked like it had just come out of vogue?

you didn't know when the two of them had become friends, only that one day her name appeared five times in the same minute on the screen of his phone, he smiled and you had to ask who she was. you're going to love her. she's incredible.

oh, damn great. so a hottie from his internship is amazing and you are going to love her.

how could it have been two years since that moment? no idea either, but somehow wooyoung had managed to convince you: hyunseo was nothing to worry about because they were just friends and all the closeness and connection they seemed to share was a product of a beautiful friendship.

well, you had agreed to take it, so now you had nothing to complain about. because you didn't want to be a toxic girlfriend and scare away the fucking love of your life. because you loved jung wooyoung since you first met him.

the funny thing is, you met him at a time in your life when the only thing you liked was kang yeosang. your biggest crush ever and your neighbor. it's not that you were a weirdo who used to spy on her neighbor through the window, it's that you were a teenager who spent most of her life studying and in music bands. what about your friends? pretty much the same. thinking that there was no guy in the world who could surpass your favorite artist, and that guys in high school are naturally assholes, you had no choice but to become obsessed with kang yeosang.

he was perfect, from head to toe. the ideal main character for the stories you made up in your head just before you went to sleep, and which were the most interesting things that happened in your life as a perfectly good student. and it was a little frustrating, but fine. you didn't want to get involved with anyone, just to have a good future, where you wouldn't have to depend on anyone but yourself, and could enjoy all the things you loved so much, and which at that moment you had neither money nor time to see or do.

however, everything changed the last summer before you left for college.

maybe it was your hormones or that you had been consuming too many teen movies from the late nineties and the twenties, but your head was torturing you with all the things you had probably missed out on during your teenage years. the concept that study to earn a future was serious and clear, but college was on another fucking level. and if it wasn't at that time when you were living all those things that were so wrong, when would you do them?

parties, sex, alcohol, friends, drugs? well, maybe not drugs but definitely sex sounded great. and it looked even better. that's what you thought when you saw kang yeosang as you contemplated all your life decisions sitting in your window frame. yeosang, who was already in his first year at the art college you yourself were eager to attend - maybe a little influenced by the idea that he would be there - was walking out the side kitchen window of his house, which faced yours.

all those ideas that lately distracted you from studying for your last exam before graduating hit again, and almost drowned in the desire to go with him. so much that you considered stopping him in one fucking hop and force him to take you wherever he went - that, in fact, looked like he shouldn't be. but, making use of your worked mettle and control, instead of your whole body you opted to throw a little ball of paper at him.

"yeo!" it was a whisper, but a loud whisper. something useless to not to disturb the sleeping people, but enough to get his attention.

your relationship with yeosang was, to say something, plain. you were neighbors and he knew you existed, but that's where it ended. considering your quiet life, it was already a success that he would greet you in the street when passed by. but yeosang spent the whole last year at the university and you hardly saw him anymore, so the "relationship" you had was even more non-existent. and that led you to two conclusions: first, that it sucked; second, that you had almost nothing to lose. if he turned you down and made a fool of yourself, you wouldn't have to see him. wouldn't be practically neighbors and the university was too big… could even consider going to another one. but if you succeeded, fuck, would have fulfilled all your frustrated teenage desires at once.

the boy, somewhat lost for the sudden attack, searched for the reason for a moment until he found your figure sticking almost completely out of the window. the confusion could be read on his face even from your distance "what are u doing?" he asked.

"where're u going?" you return another question and he places both hands at his sides.

"i'm trying to do it quietly" he said, a little annoyed because the whispers weren't exactly sneaky. you bit your bottom lip, suddenly a little more nervous than before.

"lemme go with u" you ask, and can see perfectly how his eyes widen. yeosang never thought that you, the girl who watched everything quietly from afar and with a simple, boring but friendly smile, would want to slip away from home with him. what's more, from the way you looked, with giant horn-rimmed glasses and your hair in a messy bun, he'd say you were studying, even though it was saturday night.

the most obvious thing to do would be to laugh at you and leave, but yeosang came as close as he could to your window, climbing the short distance between your room and the ground thanks to a wooden panel that you used so that a climbing vine of pink flowers could reach your window. the surprise was huge, but you weren't going to complain because you heard the slats creaking. the fucking kang yeosang was climbing up to your window dressed in a black leather jacket and freshly dyed jet black. you were the fucking main character of a teen movie from the nineties.

"planning to come like this?" that time the voice was really low, but in your head it sounded almost like he was shouting at you. yeosang was inches away from your face, and you'd swear it was impossible but in the dim light of your lamp, he was even more handsome.

you denied softly, suddenly unable to utter a word as embarrassment drained you. your cheeks showed it, turning a cherry color that made yeosang laugh. when you saw his eyes sparkle, with a cute, shy smile filling his pale face with life, you almost fell on your ass, screaming and puking with excitement. all at once. you could have died from the raging tachycardia that such an angelic image was giving you.

"get dressed and i'll take you with me. i'll wait outside." had to shake your head to clear your mind of the thought of yeosang pushing you into your room, abandoning his intention of partying to devour you, so were able to react as you watched him climb away, careful not to break a leg for the foolish thing he just did.

he himself was a little embarrassed when realized the oddity of the impulse that followed as he climbed up the wooden planks to get a closer look at you. although he had to admit, he found you much more beautiful. no longer looked like a child, which was normal since you were no longer a little girl.

after allowing yourself to panic for a few seconds, for acting brave when you weren't, and for what had just happened, you pulled yourself together and did the best job possible with your outfit from that night, which must not have been that great because you don't even remember it, or maybe there were too many big things going on that night for you to remember that detail. when you were done, thought about imitating him; firstlooked out the window once more to find him down there tapping away on the phone. of course he was very attractive and double of course you wanted to look cool, but weren't stupid either, at least not enough to not break a bone for a guy. so you went down the stairs of your house as quietly as you could and met him under your window.

"how did you…?"

"used the door, yeosang."

he laughed again. probably because you used a sarcastic tone that made him feel a little dumb for the obvious, but you made him laugh for the second time in less than half an hour. it was quite an impressive feat, given that after years of being neighbors, the most you had ever said to him was thank you for opening the trash lid for me.

once in his car - because yes, even got to see him drive - he told you that he was going to, well, you both were going to a party thrown by a college friend of his, yunho or something like that. you were really nervous about showing up at a party with him, who was so amazing and unattainable, and suddenly meeting his college friends when barely knew yeosang himself, but that night had decided to play all your cards.

so, there you were, trying hard to make him laugh again, because his round cheeks and the sound of his laugh were the most beautiful and exciting thing you had ever experienced, not knowing that you were failing miserably and that he was just laughing at your absurd attempt, although he would let you know it a year later when you met him at the open day of your college's clubs. the curious thing is, even though he reminded you of the big fat crush you had on him, it was his way of reaching out to you again, just his way of really befriending you - probably because you were already more than over him thanks to wooyoung, but that's not the point.

without getting ahead of events, that night you gave your best performance in front of yeosang, and seemed like it was going wonderfully well until he left you in the charge of another friend of his, who was soon busy with that yunho guy hosting the party, to meet another girl. it was really too obvious, wasn't it? but you had reasons to feel that things were going well.

just imagine. all dolled up, gorgeous and confident - even yeo even admitted that you had grown up a lot, and looked very pretty that night - sitting in the passenger seat of yeosang's shabby old kia, as if you were cinderella in the pumpkin with your prince charming. yeo was everything anyone could dream of in a man: handsome, athletic, polite, intelligent. he even opened the fucking door for you and held your hand to help you get out of the car. if you didn't know he was exactly that way with everyone, you'd swear he was trying to impress you. even though you were already more than sunk in everything this guy could offer.

anyways, he wasn't into you at all. he thought you were cute and kind, but weren't his target that night. all his attention was focused on that other girl, of course gorgeous and totally out of any league except for yeosang, who also seemed very happy to see him. so you sat on one of the sofas in the house, bitter and alone, watching from below as those two guys talked and laughed with each other to try to distract you from the image of yeosang with this girl. even started to zone out, that's probably why you couldn't realize a shockingly handsome guy approaching your side.

"soooo you're the little weirdo who lives next to my best friend?" those were the first words wooyoung said to you.

okay, maybe you didn't like him from the very very first time you met him. in fact, you looked at him all pissed of, with a kind of funny but certainly disgusting smirk in your face, almost as if looking at the worst person in all of korea, but he didn't wipe that cocky smile off his face and sat down next to you, dropping all of his weight onto the couch at once.

"the fuck did u say?" you were too frustrated and shameless to shut up or cry with grief, so didn't hide how much of an idiot you thought he was. however, neither short nor lazy, wooyoung laughed loud and openly, putting an arm over your shoulders and pointing his finger at yeosang.

"aren't you his neighbor?" you nodded without wiping the uncomfortable grin from your cheeks, "then there's no doubt."

"'bout what?" cocking a eyebrow, crossed your arms in chest.

"u're the weirdo" he responded obviously.

"dude, u must be such an asshole to think u can say that to just anyone."

"don't get me wrong hun. just saw you here alone and wanted to say hello".

"okay, hello you asshole" wooyoung laughed at you again, "also, a weirdo? what's that for?"

"what would you call your snooping neighbor who keeps drooling over your bones?"

"yeosang said that!?" panic colored your face and ears red, but he denied it amusedly.

"of course not, yeo is too kind to call you that. the weirdo thing is my own creation."

"oh my god" you whine, he hummed in a big smile.

"not that bad. he said u were cute though."

"yeah, a cute creepy stalker" you thought aloud, putting both hands to your face, "god, go away. i need to be alone so i can drown in my own shame and u're annoying me"

"come on, u should try to be more gentle. i'm being friendly."

"no, you're not" replied, and you don't know it, but you were really funny to wooyoung, who barely hear you because your hands were shocking your words almost completely.

"yes! listen, just wanna help you out. stop watching him from distance. he's already fucked up with her" wooyoung slowly removed the hands from your face and almost didn't have time to look at his face, which was really close, because you followed the direction his index finger was pointing to you.

yeosang had already managed to get the girl within the same inches of him as when he climbed up to your window. you weren't the main character of any fucking movie, you were stupid to actually think that yeosang could notice his neighbor, who was just a some sort of cute stalker weirdo to him.

"oh, thanks for helping me feel like shit. i can see how friendly u are" turned your face sharply, suddenly noticing how close you and wooyoung were standing. almost on impulse and with an even more annoyed grimace, you flinch to find a spot where you don't have to share oxygen with him.

"stop getting me wrong, pretty! i'm saying you should, no, must focus your attention on someone more… open and at least as handsome as him" you sharpen your offended gaze at him, checking to see if there's even a hint of embarrassment on his face. he raised both eyebrows several times and held out his hand to you "jung wooyoung".

you were about to leave. figured it wasn't worth making a fool of yourself any longer, and that if you hurried, could order a cab without spending every last penny of your already empty wallet. but there was something about the boy's arrogant smile that caught your attention. so when you finally lend your hand, he took it carefully, and from the look on his face you could tell that he was a little surprised about you playing along. at least that's how you remember it. wooyoung assures you every time you both remember that night that he played it safe.

"pretty name, just as her owner" he mumbled without letting go of your grip, and then, as if a light bulb went on in your head - like his flirty ass wasn't being crystal clear about his intentions -, you could read what his eyes and, in fact, his entire body language were trying to say.

"are u flirting with me?" he let out a small chuckle and nodded, "wasn't i a weirdo?"

he shrugged and kissed the skin of your hand, "so i am".

it was right then and there, when his lips touched your skin for the first time, as if signing the most beautiful promise in the world, that you swore and swore that you began to love him. heart shrank in your chest, even told him yourself that day, late at night at the door of your house, after leaving the party together and spent hours driving around seoul in his car. in the end, it felt like a movie, and from then on, you spent your days loving wooyoung with purpose. although you might have lost a little bit of yourself along the way.

that's probably the reason why, two years later, you're absolutely sure that wooyoung fooled you so he could take hyunseo and her friends out alone, pushing you to a fucking university party with yeosang, whom you had lost an hour and a half ago, and instead of going to where that motherfucker is, kicking his ass and taking away the key to your apartment, you remain sitting in the same chair where you read the message - picture included - in which hyunseo confirmed that he wasn't answering you, because he was partying with her. it was almost hilarious that the first thing that came to your mind was that damned night when wooyoung had all his attention focused only on you, and made you feel really alive for the first time.

felt a horrible urge to cry, along with a great feeling of sorrow for yourself that were beginning to find familiar. if you weren't going to face it, you should at least try to find yeo and get out of there, but since you're too stupid to look out for yourself, just order two shots of vodka and take them one after the other, but evidently it wasn't enough to drown the pain away, so you order a third one. and you were about to drink it, when a hand touches your shoulder, causing you to turn your face to meet the one to blame for you not continuing your task of forgetting your sorrow with alcohol.

"long time no see!" it was a tall boy, black hair covering his forehead and eyes practically closed as he gave you a big smile. your face remained almost blank, in an nearly unconscious attempt not to give free rein to your tears "don't remember me?" you denied, he laughed "i'm san. we met about, what, two years ago? you were with yeosang, kang yeosang" you looked away for a second, as if the answer was somewhere else in the room, but strangely it worked. what a fucking coincidence, you thought.

"oh, yeah. u were with another guy…" you end up turning your body completely on the stool, which allowed you to be at his height thanks to how high your seat was to face the bar "minho was his name?" another laugh falls from his lips as he denies, taking the free stool next to you and sitting down. now he had the height advantage that belonged to him, and you realized he was a little taller than wooyoung.

"yunho" he reminds and you nod. you took a big breath of air, feeling bad beforehand about what were going to say to him.

"san, right?" he nodded this time "don't wanna be rude, but i'm not in a good time. don't feel like talking" his face went slightly off, biting his lower lip for a couple of seconds before speaking.

"sorry. just saw u here alone and wanted to say hello" as you hear those words leave his lips, closed your eyes slightly as you are overcome with a huge sense of deja vu. however, you focus on the sorrow that seems to reflect his tone of voice.

"it's fine. just not my day."

"maybe i can help? if you focus your attention on something different…. maybe, u'll feel better" you sigh, knowing that there is little you can do about what you are feeling right now, because you have been dealing with similar situations for quite some time now and are aware that right now, you feel like fucking shit.

averting your gaze from san once more, hugging the small glass full of vodka with your hands, you said "doubt there's anything you can do".

"c'mon, i'm sure there's something i can do to cheer you up. a pretty face like yours shouldn't be this sad" you look up at him suddenly, finding a sweet smile on his face.

"are u flirting with me?" you asked, he nodded with a small chuckle and held out his hand to you.

"see, since u didn't recognized me, let's start again. choi san" his grin turned pretty cocky, and shivers flowed down your skin as you give your hand to him too, and telling him your name. at this point, you knew that the deja vu wasn't just a feeling, but san almost made your jaw drop to the floor when he kissed the skin of your hand. nevertheless, san said "enchanted to meet u again".

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ♡ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

this fic had been in my drafts for a long time, but i really wanted to post something about woosan (and my yunho moment is hitting hard, so he must appear) >.< hope you like it a lot and enjoy reading it. all the loveeeee ♡

☆ tags list ☆ @stolasisyourparent @yeosangsbbg

p.s. also, if u wanna be tagged, just let me know ♡

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deathlieteez · 7 months

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babeeeeee ur attention series w/yuyu is SOOOO good

Plz ass me to the taglist >< 💖💖

hiiiiiii! of course! and thank u so so much love!!!!! i feel really grateful hun 🥺❤️‍🔥✨️

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deathlieteez · 7 months

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to be his, serie's masterlist

woosan + yunho x reader

synopsis: of course you have dreams, ambitions, goals. of course you have friends, you go to college, and you go home to see your family whenever you can. of course you want, feel, and are so many things, but if you could only have one of them, you would choose to be his.

you're sure that wooyoung is the person for you, because he's everything you've ever wanted in a man, and he's also incredibly handsome and has a great future as a lawyer. what more could you ask for? an art student who doesn't even know if she's doing what she really wants to do, and who's neither as pretty nor as funny as he is. you're lucky to have him in your life, aren't you? even though he always seems to be flirting with the whole fucking world. he's like that. even though he's always with his best friend, who's gorgeous and all that wooyoung always lets you know that he likes in a woman. it's just natural.

you love him just the way he is, and he loves you… just the way you are. so you can't look at san, your new and infinitely interesting friend you just met in college, that way. but he looks at you that way, too, right? maybe yunho is right, maybe… are you being paranoid?

genre: angst, fluff, smut, comfort, romance. collegue/lawyer (wooyo) au.

warnings: cheating, cursing, sex, (unprotected) sex, alcohol, 18+ minors dni, wooyoung sometimes is a prick, low self-esteem reader, established relationship with wooyoung. bisexuality. each part will have its own set of warnings.

note: the reader is gonna have low self-esteem and a very strong emotional dependence with her relationship with wooyoung, so everything is told from that highly negative perspective -don't represent reality. i know this is a very sensitive topic, but i promise im gonna treat it in the most respectful way possible. also, remember that you are someone very valuable and important, that there is no one and nothing more important in your life than you. you deserve to be loved and respected.

pairing: wooyoung x reader + wooyoung x (?) + reader x (?)

appears or mentioned: jung wooyoung as ur boyfriend, choi san as ur colleage friend + jeong yunho as san's friend, kang yeosang as ur friend. kim hongjoong, park seonghwa, song mingi, choi jongho,

intentional use of lowercase letters

it is not meant to be representative of any ateez member's personality or another groups' idols who appeared ♡

playlist: soon!

status: on-going

p.s. this story is meant to have more than two or three chapters, so is not short but either so long!

slow updating bcos im so busy with uni :(

links will be underlined ♡

chapter 1. the night we met. as you remember the night you met wooyoung with a drink in your hand and the certainty that he was cheating on you, someone appears in front of you with the intention of making your night a lot more interesting.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ♡ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

☆ tags list ☆ @stolasisyourparent @yeosangsbbg

it just started, but if u wanna be tagged, please let me know ♡

another works of mine: attention (j.yh)

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deathlieteez · 8 months

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ATTENTION (3.2)

yunho x reader

♡ attention series masterlist ♡ ┋chapter 1┋chapter 2.1┋chapter 2.2┋chapter 3.1

appears: yunho as your exboyfriend x femb!reader + choi seungcheol (seventeen) as ur best friend.

genre: angst, smut, a little fluff. college au.

warning: unprotected sex (be careful hun♡), cursing, mean/heartbroken reader, heartbroken yunho, petnames, oral receiving (yunho)

word count: 6.8k (sorry)

intentional use of lowercase letter

english is not my mother tongue

it is not meant to be representative of jeong yunho's personality or any ateez or another groups' idols who appeared ♡

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ♡ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

"no, u shouldn't" you state, yunho sighs.

"how about we end it here? i don't want to wai-" you try to sound seductive, but his voice, so much harder and deeper than yours, cuts you off.

"i want you to think of me tomorrow when you wake up" he confessed, kissing your lips briefly, "and whenever you go to bed" another little kiss.

"we've fucked here tons of times" you said, raising your eyebrows.

with fear forming a lump in your throat, feeling too much and trying not to ask if it was true what had just crossed your mind, you answered him "please".

see you tonight.

hope u enjoyed and see u soon, lots of loveee ♡

☆tags☆ @yeosangsbb @atinyluv238 @livingdeadlisa @kunikku

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ♡ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

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deathlieteez · 8 months

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ATTENTION (3.1)

yunho x reader

♡ attention series masterlist ♡ ┋chapter 1┋chapter 2.1┋chapter 2.2┋chapter 3.2

chapter 3, part 1: (the grudge) a way down. ever since that night when yunho cheated on his new girlfriend to fuck you at the emergency exit of a nightclub, he decided to focus on you again. you fucked him almost every day in a dynamic where you always ended up rejecting him. he felt attached to you somehow, didn't know if it was called love or if it was the idea of getting you back that kept him practically obsessed. however, it seems that yunho has started to find a new - or not so new - "way" to finally get over you, but you couldn't imagine how fucked up you would end up.

appears: yunho as your exboyfriend + mean reader.

genre: angst, smut. college au.

warning: unprotected sex (be careful hun♡), cursing, mean reader, heartbroken yunho, petnames, oral receiving (yunho)

word count: 2.6k

intentional use of lowercase letter

english is not my mother tongue

songs i get inspired by: my strange addiction - billie eilish + gimme love - joji + dunno - marc miller + gimme love - rosenfeld + something about us - daft punk + if you want love - nf

it is not meant to be representative of jeong yunho's personality or any ateez or another groups' idols who appeared ♡

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ♡ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

"keep going, my beautiful" yunho growled, digging his fingers into your hair for a better hold. the laughter that came out of your throat when you saw how needy he had become in just a few minutes, right after telling you it wasn't a good day for visits. but it was you, and yunho couldn't resist your charms. or your body, your mouth, your cunt, or the slightest drop of affection that would give him the tiniest, remotest hope that it might work one day.

you could brag about having him tied between your fingers. you could do it because he would appear with a snap of your fingers, no matter how hard you pushed him after a magnificent sex.

"fuck, fuck" the vibrations from your little giggle went to his cock, making him twitch. he dropped his arm back, flexing on the bed to allow himself to raise his hips against your mouth, digging deeper into your throat. the saliva was already dripping down your chin as you set up your gag reflex, but that only made him moan louder. his low, almost broken voice unraveling for you was music to your ears, "this is my baby. can you take some more, right? will you let me cum in your slutty little mouth?" a guttural sound of affirmation sent vibrations through his thick cock again and he was sure if he wasn't sitting on the edge of the bed in your old apartment he would have fallen backwards.

you surprised yourself by answering his calls and even calling him after that first night. after that, things changed dramatically between you and yunho. he himself let you know that his relationship with that girl ended the next day, and although you didn't want it, were glad about it, but didn't let him know. your reaction was colder and more distant. at least you made things better with her, was the only thing you told him after you read his message. he tried to call you after you wrote, but you didn't take his call, which didn't mean it was over. in the beginning, that was what you wanted. you were still angry with him, because you hadn't forgotten what he did. still had that image in your head, and the simple thought made your blood boil.

that hostile feeling was what made you call him a few days later. it didn't take long for it to become a fucking dynamic. day in and day out, would text or call each other: you, to fuck him; he, to see you - and fuck while you were at it, because that's all that ended up happening. when you were done, you'd leave his house or kick him out of your bedroom. you'd be lying if didn't say that more than once almost succumbed to the desire to sleep with him, but never did till now. the worst part for yunho was when the weekend came.

"u're beautiful with my cock in your mouth" he moaned, and you instinctively pressed your legs, soaking wet without him even touching you properly. the very image of yunho with his face completely fucked, his lips open, his dark gaze glued to you as if you were the only one for him - and the one who ate him the best. he lifted part of his shirt to show you his smooth chiseled stomach, because he knew how much you loved to see his skin tighten in pleasure thanks to you, who are a goddamn sight to see from any angle, and he could fuck your mouth all fucking day long. but as much as he liked the idea, it wouldn't be enough. he needed you and knew you needed him. "get up, my love."

at times like that, those were the only times you allow him to call you anything remotely affectionate. precious, my love, jagiya, baby. you only tolerated it when it had a sexual connotation. told yourself it was to punish him and show him his place, but actually you couldn't bear to leave his side after he used any affectionate nickname on you. you were especially strict, even cruel, on weekends. sometimes he didn't show up, afraid you'd hurt him again by eating some guy in his fucking face who was really just the appetizer before him, the main course. his friends warned him over and over again. you were cruel, you had no feelings, you were just using him, you were a heartless bitch. it was all true. at least partially -or apparently.

"u like my cock so much that can't let go?" he grunted, pushing you away with the palm of his hand, pressing it against your forehead, forcing you to look at him. your cheeks were burning, your hair was a mess and your face glistened with saliva. "could look at you like this all my fucking life, but i need you in bed right now. open your legs for me, baby. want to taste you." also, those were the only times you obeyed his orders. your eyes were locked on his pupils as you fought the desire to watch him masturbate hard as he watched you crawl on your back to him, undressing you in the process. you spread your legs in an agonizingly slow rhythm, prompting him to drop to his knees and spread them himself, squeezing your thighs tightly together.

arched your back as you felt his breath on your pussy, which was still covered by a lace panty that barely did its job of covering the skin. "look at u, dripping and u just ate my dick? tsk, tsk" he left several wet kisses on the inside of your thigh, making a path to your pussy as he lowered the last bit of fabric from your body "you come to my fucking house and tease me all the fucking time, even though i told you today wouldn't be a good day" he growled, lightly palming your lips, getting a whimper from you that made him smile "thought you were just a cunt, but u're also a needy slut, aren't you? needy for my cock" he licked lightly with the tip of his tongue between your walls, not going any further. you moaned with a groan, he slapped your lips again "use your mouth for more than just sucking me off, beautiful. what do you want, tell me" he demanded, your mind beginning to cloud with desire and anticipation.

"yuyu, i want you," you whimpered, "need you, please.

i need you. he hated that phrase almost as much as he loved it. it was driving him crazy, the idea of having you. he would beg you on his knees to spend one fucking night with him if you would just let him. and that fucking phrase always made his stomach turn with a glimmer of hope, even though he knew exactly what was coming next. you would go away and leave him alone again. he was fucked. really. he didn't know if he still loved you or if he was just obsessed with the idea of getting you back, but his days were starting to feel like an eternity without you. he spent them sad, not wanting to do anything but watch tv, play league of legends, or sleep. he had to find a way to get better without you. he was working hard at it, and that's why he told you it wasn't a good day.

"u need me, huh?" he moaned, feeling his cock twitch just hearing you whine about it "if my baby needs me, she's got me" he was ready to devour you, but as his deep voice showed, anger took over his system, mixing with lust, desire and maybe love. he stood up abruptly and aligned the head of his cock, swollen and glistening in the presemen, with your entrance.

"please, yuyu" begged, and he didn't need any more. not even having the patience to prepare you for its thickness, he slammed it in all at once, taking your breath away and watering your eyes with the impact. the pain and pleasure grew in your stomach, moaning his name almost in a scream. he sighed in relief to finally be inside you, bringing both hands to your hips, using them for support to take on a frenetic rhythm. "my god" you moaned, he groaned.

"fuck, fuck, fuck" he wanted to tell you how tight you were for him, how you fit together like a puzzle and drove him crazy, but the words only came out in the form of an insult or a curse. he fought not to roll his eyes, keeping them open to your face, your body and his cock moving aggressively in and out of your hole. he felt more and more that he had to choose between the two realities of you that occupied his heart: the old one or the brand new sluttier version, sometimes funnier but certainly more cruel. he missed you and could only feel you close when he was inside you, which was great but also sucked because… that hopefully only lasted an hour. maybe two if he extended the preliminary and had a good rest the day before, which happened less and less often.

that's why he'd been looking for another way to… distract himself lately.

"yuyu, gonna- i'm gonna-" you moaned loudly as he began to stimulate your clit at the same time as he deepened his thrusts, easily reaching all your sweet spots at once.

"me too, baby. cum for me, huh? cum on my cock" he grunted and you needed no more. your walls contracted and you sucked his dick hard as if you wanted to milk him to the last drop, forcing him to abandon your clit and grip your hips tightly again, his thrusts becoming more erratic and forceful. your juices served as a lubricant to allow yunho to go even deeper into you, leaving him definitely limp when he finally sent thick ropes of cum into you.

he was still the only person you fucked without protection -condom-. although if you had to be completely honest, he was the only person you had fucked since he told you he had left the other girl for you. you didn't know it at the time, but you wished with all your might that you had told him earlier. and you would know it ver soon.

he placed both hands at your sides, bending his elbows to gently reach your mouth. kissed you gently, looking for a way to keep you a little closer to him. a few seconds or minutes before you said goodbye again. without an i love you, not even a fucking see ya later. "do you have to go now?" he murmured against your lips, as if it was a secret that he wanted you to stay longer. you nodded, smiling slowly as you opened your eyes, still a little lost in the sweet sensation of his lips.

"need to go home, take a shower and get some rest, it's been a long day" his gaze on yours clearly reflected his disappointment even though he knew your answer beforehand.

"u can do all that here. we'll order dinner, maybe watch a film. we could even take a shower together" he smiles weakly. the idea sounds very appealing. you sigh and purse your lips as a small feeling of fear settles in chest. yunho drops his body next to you and hugs you. his arms wrap around your shoulders and waist, pulling you into the warmth of his skin as if he knew he could weaken your convictions this way, because there was no better way to do it than to give you a small dose of nostalgia. your old bed, his warmth, the unmistakable scent of his precious skin, the softness of his touch caressing your naked body. with little else, you would fall asleep, holding him as close as you could, enjoying him in a more emotional way. much more real than the fleeting ecstasy of orgasm.

you remained silent, wondering if it was really that bad. in your head, it sounded like ingratiating yourself with the enemy. a temporary white flag that was actually wedding bells in your heart. wished you didn't feel so attached to him at times like this, or at all. that was why you were strict about things like affectionate nicknames, but this had been a really long day and there wasn't a single second when he wasn't in your head.

it sucked to know that nothing would ease the pain and tiredness like his arms. yunho would love to know all that. he would love to hear from your lips how your mind and your heart fought a seemingly endless battle for him, to give him a tiny chance to take care of you and love you right. if you had... if you had told him the truth, things would have been different afterwards. "it doesn't sound bad, but i'd better go" you finally said, more for yourself than for him.

"c'mon, jagiya," he kissed your head lightly, tightening his grip, "won't ask you to stay the night. just a little longer..." it was a plea, but even though you wanted to say yes, you pushed him away with both hands to get out of his very welcoming aura.

this time you sighed louder and turned your back to him before said, "m going out on friday, u can come if you want," you stood up and started to gather your clothes from all corners of the room. yunho felt his chest heaving as he watched you get dressed.

in his eyes you were a work of art. you had been sculpted by the hands of the greats, donatello, miguel angel, bernini. your beauty was something otherworldly. a miracle he had once called his own, but now it only made his heart break over and over again.

"doubt it" he said, covering himself lightly with his sheets, "i have plans."

"tell your friends to come if you want to" yunho shrugged, tilting his head slightly, suddenly unable to meet your gaze.

"not going to see 'em" you wanted to, but you didn't ask who was going to keep him away from you the next day. a small alarm went on in your head, but he silenced it with his words "maybe saturday... if you want..."

"okay, yunho, we'll see" you replied, sounding cold, although in reality you had to admit that you were a little - or a lot - excited to see him again. waved at him before leaving the room, not even expecting him to walk you to the door. you didn't want a romantic goodbye on the threshold of his foyer. it was better that way. so you left your old house and he was left alone, in a huge bed that now smelled of you again, with the echo of the front door closing in anticipation of a little sob of disappointment.

hi there!!! again, it wasnt meant to be dividen in two parts, but im on vacation trip and i couldnt bring my laptop (im used to write there and the tumblr app somehow works shitty in my phone), but i wanted to update so badddddd. also, i think the second part is so interesting (the moodboard its a clue) so im gonna be writting anytime i have free time!!!!! thank u for reading my work and i hope u enjoyed it soooooo much ♡ lots of loveeeee

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ♡ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

☆tags☆ @yeosangsbb @atinyluv238 @livingdeadlisa

(also specially thanks to the ones who wanted to be tagged, u're so lovely♡)

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deathlieteez · 8 months

Text

ATTENTION (2.2/5)

yunho x reader

♡ attention series masterlist ♡ ┋chapter 1┋chapter 2.1┋chapter 3.1┋chapter 3.2

chapter 2, pt. 1: emergency exit. now that you are feeling better, you are not going to let any of these traitors ruin your night. you don't care about hoongjoong's pleas, wooyoung's haughtiness, not to mention the will of any of them. with the help of seungcheol, you think you can give them a fucking well-deserved lesson, but it seems that your ex-boyfriend won't let you go without giving you a lesson of something else… personal.

appears: yunho as ur exboyfriend x hoongjoong as you ex bestfriend + wooyoung as yunho's friends x chaeyoung (twice) as ur best friend x seungcheol (seventeen) as ur friend with benefits + jeonghan (seventeen) as ur friend

genre: angst, smut. college au

warnings: sex without protection (be careful please), cheating, cursing, petnames, public sex, partying, mention of sex

word count: 3k

intentional use of lowercase letters

english isn't my mother tongue

songs i get inspired by: good girl era - upsahl + trust issues - drake + go girl - pitbull + do it for me - rosenfeld + mind games - sickick + love is a bitch - two feet + play with me - rendevouz at two + deja vu -ateez

it is not meant to be representative of jeong yunho's personality or any ateez or another groups' idols who appeared ♡

꒦꒷♡꒷꒦

summary part 1: after hongjoong managed to make you cry with his belated apology, seguncheol shows up to take him away, thinking it was yunho. while you try to calm your friend down, he actually shows up with the rest of the group for the first time in a year.

"this is your boyfriend now? didn't know you were into tough guys."

wooyoung. worse, drunk wooyoung. the three of you looked at him, who was watching the scene amused, with his inseparable to his right and the others behind him. yunho was there and he looked at you as if you had just killed someone.

you had to hold on to seungcheol's sides, on the one hand to find some stability, on the other hand to try and hold him back. knew him well enough to know that his whole body was now vibrating with pure fire. when you told him what had happened with yunho and his friends, he almost wanted to go and confront him right then and there, and you feared that he had found his opportunity now that they were right in front of him. your senses were dulled, didn't know if it was the alcohol or the shock of having them all in front of you at once. you sucked in all the air your lungs could hold, forcing a tired grimace on your face. you didn't even notice at what point hongjoong had returned to his friends' side.

seungcheol tilted his head and finally turned around, putting an arm around your shoulders, gently squeezing your skin. you felt safe with him and you wanted to look at him to ask to find the others, but instead you kept looking at yunho. your eyes locked on his pupils, as if you could find the answer to questions you didn't even know you had in his eyes. it was almost hypnotic, and not just for you. he wouldn't take his eyes off of you either.

seungcheol laughed "these are your old friends, right?" you nodded and glanced away to watch seungcheol from below "no, 'm not her boyfriend. am her friend. a real one, know what i mean?" he raised one of his eyebrows and you felt a small tightness in your chest at the reality of his words.

wooyoung clenched his jaw and focused his gaze on your friend, "you think coming like a madman to take her away from her friend is acting like a real one?" he snorted, "that's the shit you're in now?" this time he turned to you, feeling the venom in his words, probably finding liquid courage thanks to the alcohol. choi san's temper always calmed his best friend's hubris, but it seemed he had nothing to do today. "how can you let him treat hongjoong like this? he's been talking about you all night. and you let that tough guy treat him like crap?" oh boy, in that exactly moment, he fucked up your already damned mind.

your eyes darkened on him and you straightened up. you felt the substances working fast in your system, the adrenaline making your heart pump hard again, pure fire rising in your throat, heating face and your whole being. emotions were already on the edge thanks to hongjoong's words, it didn't take much to push you over it, and as always, wooyoung crossed the line. he broke all limits for his friends, just like he did when you had your heart broken by one of them.

"who the fuck are you to judge if i'm better or worse now?" the voice came deep in your throat "do you think i give a shit at how excited hongjoong was to see me after everything that happened? please. what you guys did was real crap, not him trying to help" you laughed bitterly, shocking them "am i better than that? than someone who really cares about me? couldn't ask for anything better in my fucking life, especially seeing where i came from," you lifted your chin to es cape seungcheol's grip, who crossed his arms over his chest and enjoyed the show, "it took me a fucking year not to think about how fucking stupid i was to trust you guys. a friend, him? or you? you guys are creeping me out with this fucking nostalgia story" you shook a few times, watching wooyoung's body tense up. he was holding back, but so were you, "it's freaking cool that your big friend got over what he did in a year, with a new girl to cheat on with his puppy little face. thought that was enough, didn't you? that would have forgotten all about it, because the good girls like me keep our heads down and swallow all the shit everyone has for us" you pointed your index finger at him, "don't you dare talk to him like that again, got it?"

"that's enough, we didn't want this" san spoke to your right, then you fixed your gaze on him.

"muzzle your little friend so he doesn't spit out any more poison" you almost shouted, "i can play that too."

"you're going too far, the whole thing is on me" yunho warned, almost inquisitorially.

yunho spoke to you. he fucking dare to. you looked at him and a sour smile came over your face, a laugh fell from chest "you think so, yuyu? am i overdoing it?" you pushed your body into wooyoung and made your way towards him. the distance between you was now minuscule.

seuncheol took a few steps forward, alert when he finally met your ex's face. yunho shuddered at your closeness and that nickname, once filled with love, now intoxicated with a dark and wicked feeling, but he wouldn't let you see it. "you haven't seen anything yet" tilted your head to the side. placing a hand on his chest, you lowered it gently. the contact caused a rush of electricity that burned both of you "it's good to see you" lied "i've been looking forward to finding out what it would feel like to have you so close again" you brushed your tongue over your lower lip "you look so good in blond. did your girlfriend suggest it? i like it"

mingi reacted a bit late, he had let you go too far, but the shock got the better of him. he couldn't believe his eyes. he couldn't believe you were looking at yunho like that, suddenly almost lewd, dark, mixed with a hatred that was best identified with your sour words from earlier. he grabbed your wrist and pulled it away from your ex's body, abd you looked at him and laughed "stop it for fuck's sake".

"fine" you smiled again, "cheolie, let's go, the others must be looking for us" freed yourself from his grip and started walking, pushing yunho with your shoulder.

seungcheol followed with a triumphant grimace and nodded goodbye. it didn't take him long to catch up with you and put the same arm around your shoulders again "i think you've made me horny".

"'m shaking" you confessed, bringing a hand to your chest trying to calm the heartbeat that was starting to make you even more dizzy.

"you did great" he glanced over his shoulder to make sure they were still watching you leave, "do you want to take it a little further?"

"what do you mean?" he slowed your pace effortlessly and you looked at him in confusion. his lips curled mischievously across his pretty face. you were a moderately safe distance away, just at the edge of the stairs, at the last table of the reserved area. with one hand on your face, he ran it from your cheek to your chin. the sensation was familiar, but now somewhat overwhelming. his free hand traveled to your waist, guiding you gently until your back bumped against the table. "let me help you a little?" you sharpened your gaze, opening your lips slightly, not knowing what to say. "keep watching. this'll keep yuyu thinking all fucking night about what he lost." his words sent another jolt of electricity through your body, you nodded.

he wasted no time in kissing you. he did it as if you were alone, with the walls shielding you from any prying eyes. but the ones that were on you now were more than welcomed. almost as if he wanted to devour you on the spot, his mouth danced with force against yours, with an urgency that was new to you. his tongue ran over yours, bringing a small whimper from your lips that made him smile. he brought his hand to the back of your neck and deepened the kiss before he held you under your bottom, lifting you up and letting your body rest on the round table. placed his body between your thighs and cradled your face with both hands. you only pulled away from him when the oxygen had completely left the lungs. your breasts moved up and down hard and that's when your eyes traveled behind his head, which rested on top of yours, facing each other. just then the group came down the stairs.

it was as if time was rewinding as your eyes met yunho's. his look would be etched in your retina for a long time. anger. the fire burned in his sweet face. and you felt like you were in heaven, encouraging yourself to kiss seungcheol again, never taking your eyes off of him.

yunho wanted to scream. he quickened his pace aggressively, urge coursing through his veins, needing to lose sight of you. in his mind, the image of seungcheol's hand caressing your thigh as he devoured you mingled with his own memories. his mouth devouring you, his hands signing his touch all over your skin. your back arched back, begging him for more. needing him, almost as much as you seemed to be enjoying it at that moment with your supposed friend. felt like he was going crazy and for him, the night had just begun.

"yunho, hey, yunho!" mingi ran to reach him "slow down, man" tears burned in his eyes as he faced him "u okay?"

yunho denied "did you see that shit, mingi?" he began to move erratically, the breath leaving his body. the air was missing "what… why… what the fuck?"

"that's what exactly they were looking for, don't you see? that guy and her."

"'t wasn't her!" he shouted, "she wouldn't do that!"

"she's changed" jongho said, "we'd better go."

with tears of annoyance running down his cheeks, he closed his eyes tightly, he could still see you clearly with that guy on top of you "i don't want to go any fucking place".

"yunho…" mingi's voice clearly showed his concern.

"i don't want to, i can't-! hongjoong, hey, hongjoong! are you crying!?" yeosang held the older man's hand. next to him, seonghwa tried to give some comfort, startling the three of them when yunho screamed again. he approached him with a few long steps.

"he's hurt. let's go" seonghwa asked. yunho felt his blood boil. you had made hongjoong cry. you had crossed every boundary and his mind was completely clouded. with anger and guilt flooded in his eyes, he moved quickly backwards, retracing his path to the stairs, bumping into you, who were laughing with seungcheol, probably about what you had just done.

you were perfectly fine and they looked like shit.

"fucking bitch" he muttered as soon as you were in his face.

seungcheol was about to take sides, his fist clenched tightly, ready to punch him in the face, but you were quicker. your hand slammed into his cheek hard, turning his face at the impact. the rest of them held their breath, caught in their throats. a hollow sound over the music finally deafened yunho's senses. you had never seen him like this. never in your wildest dreams would you have expected something like this from yunho. the shock was even greater than the impression of meeting them again, and you didn't know how to control yourself.

he lost control too. couldn't see beyond his own tears as he grabbed your wrist and pulled you up the stairs. not even seungcheol had time to stop him. he tried to follow you, but mingi and san immediately grabbed both of his arms. he struggled, but their combined strength was enough to hold him there. "i'm going to kill that bastard!"

"stop! he won't hurt her!" seonghwa ran in front of him, he could almost see an animal in his beaten face.

meanwhile, yunho was dragging you past the reserved areas, towards one of the emergency exits marked with a neon red sign. "let go of me!" you demanded, but it was obvious that he was stronger than you. he pushed the door open with his body, reaching a dimly lit corridor, slamming you against the wall with his hand, preventing you from hitting your head "yunho, you are hurting me!" he put your hand over your head and did the same with the other. you moved your body aggressively, trying to free yourself from his grip "fuck, let go of me!"

at that moment you felt a genuine fear towards him. you had never seen him like this "do you think we're a fucking joke?" he growled, tightening his grip and bringing his face closer to yours "are you a real slut now? do you like screwing people?"

you sharpened your gaze, trying to focus on his face inches from yours, "you are the one who started this in the first place" accused, raising your voice.

"going to use your fucking pain to be a bitch?"

"didn't say anything you all didn't deserve to hear" you spat, and he grunted in response.

"so cruel now? you're so tough?" he snorted, "don't fuck with me, bitch."

"stop calling me that, dickhead!"

"where's that condescending little smirk now, huh? dickhead? wasn't it yuyu?"

"fuck you" you spit at him. literally. your spittle landed on his cheek. he let go of you out of uncertainty, wiping his face with his palm. you took the opportunity to run, trying to get out of there. had to get out of there. but it only took yunho a few seconds to catch you up. he pulled your wrist again, causing you to slam into his chest, grabbing you just like seungcheol did before, under your ass, and pulled you back against the wall.

"w-what the fuck are you doing now?" mumbled.

"isn't this how you like to be treated now? like a slut, in front of everyone. almost fucked him in my goddamn face."

"remember u have a girlfriend."

"are you checking up on me now? miss me that much?" a haughty grimace came over his face.

you wanted to hit him again, " you wish" snorted, your breath hitting his face instead of your hand, "get it into your fucking head, you're nothing to me anymore."

"yeah?" he laughed "and what was that about before, huh? just wanted to play with me for a while, didn't you?"

"give a shit about what you think" he growled again, tightening his grip on your thighs as you moaned in pain.

"are you fucking him?"

"what?"

"you're fucking that guy, aren't you?" his voice was thick, straight from his stomach. the fire burning inside his body spoke for him.

you laughed in an almost lascivious way, bringing your face even closer to his. you hadn't expected this question either, despite your compromising position. he still cared about you. "of course i do" you brought your lips close to his ear so you could whisper, "and i'm going to do it tonight."

"bitch!"

he pulled you down so he could turn you around, pinning your hands behind your back, your face on the cold plasterboard, "what do you care? you fuck her too. just like you fucked that chick while i was waiting for you at home."

"shut the fuck up for once" he forced you to look at him sideways, "shut up for once in your life and listen to me."

"what do i have to listen to, ah?" laughed humorlessly again "you still live there, don't you? tell me, do you fuck her in our bed? on that fucking couch where you and i have done it so many times?" yunho hesitated. your words surprised him this time. "yes. it's like that! can you do it without thinking about me?" didn't know that your words had so much power until you felt your hands loosening. no idea where your courage was coming from either. yunho took a few steps back. the darkness didn't allow you to read the expression on his face, so now it was you walking towards him, who tried to move away until his back hit the wall. "tell me. have you ever fucked her thinking about me?"

a lump in his throat prevented him from speaking and he turned to you "say it. do it or i'll leave" you threatened. weren't sure if it would work and if it didn't go the way you hoped, would no doubt be out of there. would have had enough. but the truth was, you wanted to hear it. your whole body ached to hear it and to your pleasure yunho nodded "words. use that pretty little mouth of yours, baby"

"what the hell do you want me to say?"

"you know exactly. don't make me wait, don't have any more patience to waste with you" yunho grunted for the eleventh time, rubbing his face with both hands. he looked away from yours, ashamed. he didn't want to admit it. fantasizing was fine, but saying it out loud was something else entirely. and saying it to you was even worse. for some twisted reason, though, he couldn't stand it if you went off with that guy again. he would kill before he saw you with him again.

"i fuck her with you in mind" he closed his eyes.

"all right baby" you whispered, pressing your body against his, "do you touch yourself when you think of me too?"

"what are you getting at?"

"answer me"

"fuck yes, cannot get your fucking face out of my mind, so i have no choice. satisfied?"

"very much" you admitted. yunho looked at you again to see your triumphant smile. he wanted to scream again. had him where you wanted and things weren't going as he had planned.

"what about you" his words also came out more shyly than he had planned, "do you also think of… me?"

you truthfully denied "every time i do, only remember you with that fucking chick on my phone screen" you rolled your eyes, pinning them to the ceiling, "but i'm willing to give you a chance."

"a-a chance?"

"remind me what it was like to fuck you, yuyu" you murmured, taking one of his hands and placing it on your ass.

yunho didn't move, almost petrified by the surprise and confusion "want that?"

"mhm" you admitted "you're right. i loved seeing this side of you. show me how fucking mad you are at me. how i drive you crazy with my little slutty games" you stroked his arm up to his neck, squeezing the back of it to pull him closer "think you can do it for me, yuyu?"

"you're playing with fire" his other hand grew confident, then grabbed your ass with both of his.

lips were already brushing against each other. your body responded instantly. every hair on your body stood up, missing him as his strong scent crept into your nostrils, intoxicating you even more with his presence. fuck, how much you had missed him, you didn't know until your lips finally crashed against his. he was slow at first, taking his time to taste you again. he gasped at the real memory of your mouth, the one he still dreamed of. he'd missed you like crazy, so now that he had you to himself after so long, he needed to go slow. take as much of you as he could. he gently lifted the fabric of your skirt, exposing your ass, caressing your skin.

"my god" he moaned against your lips, making you shudder. he bit your lower lip, knowing you loved it so much. you noticed how this simple gesture sent a shock straight to your core, drenching you at the first stroke. you were almost embarrassed at how much you were starting to need him. you were wrong. you wouldn't die gladly on that dancefloor, but here. you hated knowing that there was nothing that could turn you on more than fucking jeong yunho "this is so damn wrong" he whined, still running his hands all over your skin. you smiled lustfully, not letting the distance between you grow, with a small sense of fear that he would pull away from you.

"go on" you sighed against his lips, "touch me, please" weakness fighting pride and winning the first battle.

"give me time, dolly" he whispered, stopping the kiss to your displeasure, "need to enjoy you fully, do you understand?"

"you can do it" the words slipped from your mouth, "but don't make me wait, need you."

"you need me?" the self-confidence had returned to her system thanks to you, you knew it and you hated it too. but still you nodded. she closed her eyes once more, slowly taking in the air, letting you enjoy her incomparable beauty "more than anyone else?"

"more than anyone" wished you could shut the fuck up, but at that moment you would say and do anything to please him.

"you're perfect. perfect for me" he confessed without taking his eyes off you, "and you're so damn wet" he gasped, "so ready for me. could fuck you right now without even preparing you." you felt the warmth of his palm on your underwear, which was already soaked with anticipation, but of course he would, because he knew how much you liked his fingers inside you.

he was almost thrilled to know that he hadn't lost his magic on you. that neither fucking seungcheol nor any other guy could take that away from him. feeling his hands on the fabric, you arched your back slightly and he missed no opportunity to attack your neck with his teeth. you moaned, vibrating as he lost his patience and put his hand inside your underwear. you drove him even crazier.

"just like that, yuyu. oh my god" his fingers moved expertly over your clit, allowing himself to insert the one in the middle into you. you moaned in desire and he knew he had to insert another digit. the speed was still cautious, but your hips already began to lightly hit the palm of his hand, looking for more.

"like that? is my baby enyoing it?" he whispered against your skin. a guttural sound of affirmation made hum smile "look at you, can't resist to me, can u? denied u're still into me, but u are nothing but mine" you grunted again, trying to stop yourself to please him even more "tell me it's true, babe, come on"

but again you would say anything. you were too unravel, too drunk to deny him anything and he hadn't even used his cock yet "i'm all yours, yuyu"

"that's my pretty girl. you're so, so good" he cupped the back of your head again to lure you into a short but deep kiss "do you want me to fuck you? need more?" he growled, you gasped again as the speed suddenly increased aggressively. you could cum right now, yunho knew that, but it wasn't in his plans "god, you're a fucking show".

he left your soaked hole, getting a moan from you that only amused him. before you knew it, your face was back against the wall, your skirt even higher and your panties on the floor "ur cunt is beautiful. it obsesses me. i can't believe i've gone this long without seeing it" he complained, placing the head of his cock in your entrance. you almost cried from the strong impression of craving it so much "i'd love to eat it, but we can't here" he introduced a little of its length.

it was as thick as you remembered, and you were too small for it. he moaned loudly, encouraging you to push it in a little more with your hips. "you're a needy slut, baby. thought you were fucking that guy all the time, huh? is he not enough for your needy cunt?"

your face flushed with shame and anger as you started to grunt as he went inside you. faster than usual, but without choking you. at this point you were so fucked up that nothing mattered anymore. but there was something you wanted to try. yunho had always been good with words to make you horny and push your limits. what would happen if it was the other way around? what if you tried it this time?

when he was finally inside, he let out a sigh of relief, giving you only a few seconds before he began to move his hips in an agonizingly slow but deep rhythm. you loved how he moaned as much as you did "ur very wrong, yunho" you moaned with a new lunge, "seungcheol is good, very good," you noticed how he tensed up inside.

"what the hell are you saying now?"

"is she as good as me?" a deeper attack, full of rage "does she let you fuck her like you fuck me?"

"you're a fucking whore"

"absolutely. but only for you" you gasped as he pulled your hair back, your scalp itching in pain, "and you love it."

his thrusts became much faster, more aggressive. you had to put your hand on the wall to keep from hitting your head "you were doing so well, don't you ever shut up?"

you almost thought you couldn't stand this frenetic pace, but the pain was nothing compared to the pleasure. "fuck!" shouted as he slapped your ass sharply.

"that's better. now say my name," when you ignored him, he slapped again, "say my fucking name."

finally you gave in, screaming it out so loud you were afraid every reserved area would hear it, your walls trembling over his cock as you sucked it into you "shit, you feel so good" he grunted as he slapped you again "where do you want me to cum?"

"you can do whatever you want with me".

he smiled at your words and a few lunges later, more and more frantic and erratic, he came out of you masturbating hard "knees".

the floor was cold under your skin, but it didn't matter when the image in front of you was majestic. yunho's flushed face, his lips open, looking at you hungrily, his hand choking his cock with every movement. he didn't need to ask you to open your mouth before he ended up on your tongue. you stayed like that for a few seconds, letting the image sink into his retina before swallowing it all with pleasure. "you're driving me crazy" he confessed, helping you to your feet. your legs were still shaking, and even though you hadn't finished, you felt like you were in heaven. it was even better when he kissed you lustfully, in an almost dirty and obscene way, smearing his lips with his own cum, which was still at the corner of your lips. he pulled up his pants and helped you to arrange your clothes and hair with affection. "you need to go to the bathroom to clean yourself up" he apologized with a tiny chuckle.

"well, there is no pleasure without sacrifice" laughed too.

when he looked into your eyes, you could clearly see the sincere color of love. it was still there. he couldn't hide it even if tried. then he allowed his hands to clasp your hips, drawing you to him with affection, resting his forehead on yours. that was yunho. the real one "i've missed you" he confessed, looking at your lips "every day."

your heart shrank at his words. he had managed to change the whole atmosphere in a few seconds and you had the urge to kiss him, but skipped it. "yunho…"

"i know, i know" he murmured. there it was again. the guilt and nostalgia he was so familiar with pounding his chest again, "but maybe, we could…"

"you have a girlfriend" your words hurt. they were true and that's why they hurt even more.

"but it's you" and there it was again, the betrayal stinging in your eyes, doing the same thing that tore you apart.

you pushed him away with what little strength of will you had left, pulling back out of pride as a last resort. the picture that ended with you came back to your mind. the months of missing him, the tears and the pain. again the angry "can't trust you, yunho".

"what can i do to show that i love you? how can you trust me again?" you denied bitterly. he hated to see that look on your face again. the empty one. the same one you had when you first saw him at the beginning of the night. all yunho was looking for at that moment was a flash of something like what had just happened, but it had clearly confused him.

with your heart gagged by reason, wiping away the tears that threatened to reappear at any moment, you said bitterly, "start by not fucking any girl every time you're in a relationship. even if it's the other one, it's me."

with that you left. didn't say goodbye, shutting the door behind you, leaving him alone and with a sour feeling in his stomach. the worst part of it all is that he knows he would do it again. and so would you.

꒦꒷♡꒷꒦

i was finally able to upload part two! it took me a while because i had a hard time with english here:( if you see any mistakes, don't be shy to tell me!

♡ hope you enjoyed it, lots of love ♡

76 notes · View notes

deathlieteez · 9 months

Text

ATTENTION (2.1/5)

yunho x reader

♡ attention series masterlist ♡ ┋chapter 1┋chapter 2.2┋chapter 3.1┋chapter 3.2

chapter 2, pt. 1: over you. after spending months within the four walls of your lonely new dorm, drowning in your grief and self-imposed isolation, you decided to give seoul night a chance. you let chanyoung drag you along, and it was one of the best decisions of your life. you felt alive again, full of confidence and exploring a new and exciting world. you forged a new you, more attractive and open in every way. and in the midst of all the ecstasy of newness, seungcheol, your new guardian angel, appeared. it was great. damn good.

too bad that seoul, to use your own words, wasn't that big. it would happen sooner or later, and with the news of yunho's new romance, he and his usual friends found you in the crowd of the new club you were trying out that night. lucky for you, seungcheol was there to save you, wasn't it?

second part of the chapter already updated!

genre: angst, basically. college au

warnings: nothing that bad for the moment. breakup, cursing, cheating, partying, mention of sex

word count: 3k

intentional use of lowercase letters

songs i get inspired by: good girl era - upsahl + trust issues - drake + go girl - pitbull + sick pretty mind - upsahl + mind games - sickick + shameless - camila cabello

it is not meant to be representative of jeong yunho's personality or any ateez or another groups' idols who appeared ♡

꒦꒷♡꒷꒦

if you had to use one word to describe yourself a few months ago, it would be quiet. maybe stable and even a little introverted. you liked to stay home on saturday nights so you could get up early on sunday mornings and be productive all day. studied, cleaned the house and did the laundry for you and yunho. also liked to cook, and he loved it when you did.

waited patiently for him in your apartment, doing whatever you really liked, like reading or watching the shows you were hooked on at the time. you were a simple girl, but felt very happy that way. you never get bored because you were also quite creative, and you looked for ways to keep yourself entertained. it's not that you didn't like parties or big social events, it's just that preferred to take them one at a time and intersperse them with something quieter. although chaeyoung never gave up and always tried to drag you along, even yunho and her friends tried sometimes, it was hard for you to say yes.

but it didn't matter, because always found the right time to enjoy yourself with them in some other way. an afternoon of games with your boyfriend and his friends, who were like a little family to you, or a girls' night at home, an afternoon of coffee, or a morning of shopping. it was your way of living, it was good for you, and it made everyone who loved and knew you well equally happy that you were like this without sorrow despite your youth.

but with yunho out of the picture, something inside felt… different. the nights became too much within the walls of chaeyoung, and endless when you got a room near your university campus. every part of you ached every time memories flooded behind your eyes, reminding you that your previous idyllic life, almost as if written by someone else, was over. your old ways no longer fulfilled you. you had to do something before you fell further into the abyss of self-pity and sadness that you had dug for yourself when you decided to isolate yourself from everyone and everything, too afraid that things would get even worse. that was until one saturday, three months after you had lived alone for the first time, chaeyoung sent you a picture of the dress she was wearing that night to go out with her friends.

she looked beautiful and seemed so happy. you… you wanted that too. you wanted to be excited about new experiences. you wanted to look in the mirror and think you looked beautiful again. you wanted to feel alive. you remembered that day at the mall. that wasn't you. at least not a version that you knew, and the truth is… you loved it. the adrenaline rush. you loved it. the adrenaline, the feeling of power. heard yourself sigh out loud as you looked at yourself in the mirror, which returned a vision that was sad to say the least.

can i join?

when you sent that message, your heart pounded for the first time. you bit your lower lip with a small, choked smile. your friend was at your house in less than twenty minutes to help you get ready for your first big night out. and boy, it was great.

you put on some music, drank some hot wine that you had bought a while ago just in case you needed to cheer yourself up one day, and a few hours later you were ready. the mirror showed a completely different image this time. one that you hadn't seen on you before either. chaeyoung jumped in and brought some clothes for you, knowing that the options in your closet were small and old-fashioned for such an occasion. your friend gave you the first compliment, and you gave yourself the second one in the mirror. it was short -much shorter than you had worn in a long time- black and tight. the neckline was generous, a little tight because your friend was not the same size, but that only made your breasts look like two jewels crowning a beautiful body you didn't remember having. black panties and high platform heels. you were, as your friend accurately described you, a hottie.

it was like an adrenaline rush that finally awakened your senses, and chaeyoung was once again deeply proud. she knew that what you were about to do was difficult for you, even more so at a time like the one you were going through, and she made it a point to let you know that she would be with you all night. it wasn't that you didn't know her friends. you had met them a few years ago, the night you met yunho. they were nice people and pretty funny, but all your attention was immediately focused on your ex, who you thought was the most attractive and sweetest person you'd ever seen. wish you had known what would happen next. at the time, you were convinced that you wouldn't do it again, that the bitter pain you felt wasn't worth the memories of you and him together.

that was the first night of many. you had to admit that you lost control a bit, but you had no regrets, and it seemed that all of chaeyoung's friends thought you were amazing. you soon became close to them, and your saturday and even friday nights changed radically. alcohol, music, crowds, sweat, and the occasional substance that would have embarrassed and scared you to your core just a year ago. but chaeyoung's friends, now your friends, were very… persuasive. especially one of them. choi seungcheol became your eternal partner. he accompanied you everywhere, day and night. you used to see each other during the week to do more normal things. including fucking. although he was only the first of many.

you didn't recognize yourself, and knew for sure that no one from your old life would. but you liked the idea. didn't even think about yunho. or hongjoong, or san, or yeo, or any of those traitors. at least you didn't until that night.

you wore a black skirt -which you discovered was your color, never failing to contrast sensually with your skin and red lips- again, very short, a wine-colored leather corset that matched your lipstick, rather uncomfortable, but you accepted it because chaeyoung insisted that you looked irresistible in it- and that your breasts looked heavenly with it, and knee-high boots that covered you to the knee. your hair, now longer and darker, fell over your shoulders like jet threads. you looked amazing. you felt amazing, and were ready to drink the night away again in a new club that promised hell and heaven, which you also wished with all your being because it was too close to your new home. too bad it had to come to you with such shitty news.

yunho has a girlfriend. chaeyoung told you on the way to the club, almost angry to see his smiling face again with a new chick. you couldn't have found out for yourself because you stopped following him on social networks to take care of your mental health, and you silenced all her friends. but chaeyoung did not, and even though you knew she was telling you with the intention of implying that he wasn't worth it, the news made your stomach turn bitterly.

deep down, you had no idea what surprised you. yunho didn't know how to be alone. he had been in several relationships before you, according to him, because he "liked to share with other people and was a little lovesick". fuck him, you thought aloud, and the sourness of your words made your friend laugh. for the first time, she couldn't read between the lines.

when finally arrived at the place, you rushed to greet your new friends before announcing that you were going to get something to drink. but jeonghan had already gone first, and several colored shots were distributed around the private table, which he got thanks to the fact that he was a close friend of the owner, who was the same age as him. you drank a yellow one from the shot glass, mango flavored. it was sweet and warmed your body sweetly too, so you took another, this time pink, knowing that strawberry tequila never let you down.

"how beautiful my girl is today" seungcheol kissed your head thanks to the noticeable difference in height. you smiled almost out of inertia and kissed his lips briefly in greeting.

when the sunlight covered you both, it didn't happen, but the night united you in a different way and it was normal to kiss each other as if you were shaking hands naturally. you were very pleased to see him and forgot your anger for a moment. soon, the night went on as it always did. you talked for a while, laughed and kissed seungcheol a thousand times more, who kept playing with the bare skin of your thighs. such a teaser, as you loved him to be. the tension you two created was transferred to the dance floor, where you moved together to the rhythm of a list of songs that was quite new to south korea. they were american songs of various styles, mostly in speed up mode to make them good party material. the night in korea was always wild, but this night was on another level.

not only were you practically skin to skin with seungcheol, but also with your best friend, who looked more beautiful than ever, and her precious friend jihyo, much to the lewd delight of your new friends. you could die right there, in that moment of ecstasy, punctuated by a tiny yellow pill you took directly from seungcheol's mouth, and you wouldn't care. it seemed that everyone there had come to fulfill the promise of the local slogan: to die and rise to heaven, a slightly biblical that seemed more like hell.

"i'm thirsty, youngie" said into her ear, pouting into a sweet face. laughing, she nodded and took your hand to almost walked out together, but a tall blonde, quite handsome and attractive boy interrupted chanyoung's path. you laughed and searched for seungcheol with your eyes, but soon realized it would be impossible to find him and surrendered to your fate.

you trudged through the crowd and made your way to the bar. had to wait a few minutes before you reached it, making the waiter come a little closer " i'm friends with jeonghan" the boy, who looked younger than you, gave a nice smile and nodded. ordered your drink and quickly had her with you, for free, as you liked it best. then, were ready to find them again, even though you knew the risk of getting lost among so many people.

in fact, you did, spending two whole songs trying to find one of your friends, to no success. you shrugged and took a drink from your glass. you almost went out again, hoping that one of them was in the reserved area, but this time it was your path that was interrupted. someone grabbed your shoulder with some kind of pressure, startling you slightly. you turned your face to see who it was, hoping again it was one of them.

wish you hadn't gone alone for that damn drink. he waved at you, a small shy smile on his lips. you were too drunk to bear him at that moment, so your face showed no friendliness at all, maybe just a little surprise. you walked away, pressing the road harder than before, trying not to spill too much liquid from the glass. stepping fast on the way to the reserved area, you sighed calmly when you reached the red leather armchairs, similar to your top by the color of the neon lights, even though it was empty.

no clue if he had misunderstood you or just insisted on talking, but you almost fell on your back on the round table in the middle of the armchairs when saw him again behind you, "yah, were lucky, weren't you? we couldn't get one."

he said we. would he also be here or did he stay at home with his new girl? an ugly grimace on your face, you wanted to yell at him. why the hell did he have to follow you?

"what are u doing here?" you blurted out dryly, not having to raise your voice too much thanks to the fact that your voice was not as loud as it was on the track.

"having fun, like you" he said obviously with a little chuckle.

crossed your arms over your chest and left the drink on the table, "don't fuck with me, hongjoong."

"saw you before and felt sad that couldn't say hello to you 'cos you were with a lot of people, so i'm glad i found you alone" he confessed, scratching the back of her neck.

"great, you already said hello, you can go."

he sighed heavily, "missed u" you rolled your eyes at his words and snorted.

"cut the crap."

"come on, aein (it's an affectionate nickname in Korean, it means something like "heaven"), i'm sorry about what happened, huh? just give me a few minutes"

a small twinge of pain crossed your chest when you heard that nickname he used to call you when still considered him your best friend. rolled your eyes, annoyed at the feeling. did you miss him too? haven't spoken since the breakup, -probably- mostly because didn't give him a chance, and maybe there was always a little doubt in your heart why someone who always took care of you so much was not actually capable of doing it when it was really needed. you caught yourself sitting on one of the couches and saying "ten minutes".

hongjoong smiled and sat down next to you at a safe distance. he looked a little restless, moving his leg quickly and rubbing his hands and thighs. you took another sip of your drink, seeking comfort in its sweetness.

"how have u been?" he asked, and you nodded.

"fine."

he sighed again, "i'm glad. wish i had asked you sooner, but…"

"but your friend was first."

"it's not like that, aein. it was complicated. i couldn't even look you in the face after i knew, but i was not the one who had to tell you the truth."

"it seems to me that you were a coward and put him first even though he was the one who screwed up" said frankly, "don't come to me with this shit".

hongjoong couldn't want to lie if asked, he was surprised by the harshness of your words. he didn't want to believe san or wooyoung when they told him about your behaviour "i'm sorry, okay? i didn't know how to do it right."

"well, you it happened, damn it, hongjoong" you rolled your eyes again in annoyance, "hey, really. i'm fine and not interested in getting back in touch".

"you know i love you very much. i hate that you say that to me" he sounded pained.

why did you feel a lump in your throat? why, when you were happy now?

hongjoong approached you slightly, his blue hair shining under the bright neon lights that reflected gracefully on his pale skin. a shiver ran through your skin as he held your hand, "you don't have to talk to him. i'm here for me, don't care what he says."

the question shook your body and you felt slightly dizzy, is it because he knew you were here? did he see you with seungcheol? maybe he didn't want to see you or talk to you. because you didn't want it either. hated him as much as you hated hongjoong, right? it was the alcohol that made you want to hug him. it numbed your senses and kept your feelings on the surface. that was it. had to be.

"too late" pulled out of his embrace, almost urgently. his face darkened with grief.

his feelings were sincere, you could see it in his eyes. your heart also reacted, almost unconsciously, by sheer inertia.

"don't be like this, not with me."

"after yunho, you are the worst of all."

a tear. shit. prayed that he didn't notice, but of course he did, and wiped it away with his thumb, cradling your face.

"forgive me."

wanted to answer, to refuse again, to regret having given him a chance to talk to you. the apologies came too late. if he really wanted you back in his life, he would never have let you go in the first place. no, first of all, he would never have let yunho treat you like that, he would have taken care of you like a good friend, like chaeyoung was. where the hell was she now? you desperately needed her.

"who the hell are you?" a thick voice with obvious anger stole your gaze from hongjoong.

seungcheol pulled him sharply away from you. the blue-haired man looked at him almost in fear, watching him tower over him.

"this is the fucking yunho?" he growled. you could see him almost wanting to eat him with his eyes. you were freaking out too, but couldn't blame him. he knew everything that had happened between you two. but then again, you didn't want to get anyone in trouble.

it took a while for you to react, separating them and stood between, facing seungcheol "it's not him, cheol. calm down".

"and why the hell are you crying!? what did you do to her!?"

hongjoong looked at you urgently, not knowing what to say, "he did nothing. was leaving already"

"this is your boyfriend now? didn't know you were into tough guys."

꒦꒷♡꒷꒦

the second one, yay! it wasn't meant for two parts, but didn't want it to be too long. anyway, i still have to review it so its not proofread. again, if you find any errors, please tell me!

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deathlieteez · 9 months

Text

ATTENTION, jeong yunho

serie's masterlist

synopsis: you were the brightest person in the world when you gave him your heart, but when he broke it, you found pleasure in the deepest, darkest part of your being.

your pure love turned into a twisted obsession, but you'd rather do anything than lose yunho, right? and it seems he's willing to take anything from you. he knows he screwed everything up, but is there a limit? do you have a limit to punishing him?

loving him ?

hating him ?

fucking him ?

genre: angst, fluff, smut / collegue au - alternative universe!university

warnings: cheating, cursing, sex, (unprotected) sex, drugs, alcohol, 18+ minors dni, mean reader. each part will have its own set of warnings.

pairing: yunho x reader

appears or mentioned: (ateez members) jeong yunho, kim hongjoong, park seonghwa, song mingi, choi san, choi jongho, jung wooyoung, kang yeosang / (twice members) son chaeyoung, park jihyo / (seventeen members) choi seungcheol, vernon chwe, yoon jeonghan

intentional use of lowercase letters

it is not meant to be representative of jeong yunho's personality or any ateez or another groups' idols who appeared ♡

playlist: you can find the songs i get inspired by here!

status: on-going

links will be underlined ♡

CHAPTER 1 : screwed it up

CHAPTER 2 : do it for me (over you) / PART 1 - PART 2

CHAPTER 3 : the grudge / PART 1 (a way down) - PART 2 (the truce)

CHAPTER 4 : heaven and back

EPILOGUE : i miss you, im sorry

꒦꒷♡꒷꒦

♡ i know it just started, but if u want to be added to a taglist just let me know! any suggestions are appreciated and accepted ♡ lots of loveeeee

☆tags list☆ @yeosangsbbg @atinyluv238 @livingdeadlisa-blog @kunikku @yzaeseong @pearltinyy @txt-yaomi

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deathlieteez · 9 months

Text

ATTENTION (1/5)

♡ attention series masterlist ♡ ┋chapter 2.1┋chapter 2.2┋chapter 3.1┋chapter 3.2

Hi! Sooo this is my very first serie. It's composed of small chapters which are far apart from each other in time but are enough just to explain the plot. I've always wanted to do something like this so I decided to give it a try because, somehow, I get super inspired hearing some of my old music lately. That's also the reason why im gonna use many genres, such as fluff, smut, or angst. I really hope everyone can enjoy this ♡ lots of loveeeeeeee

Im doing a masterlist which each chapter, the summary and the playlist. It will be updated soon ♡

꒦꒷♡꒷꒦

chapter 1. screw it up: until that day, you could boast of having a perfect life. you lived in a country you adored, studied at a good university, had numerous friends and a boyfriend -with whom you also shared an apartment- who was way above the standards. you were happy, happier than you could ever dream of. but suddenly you had to wake up when a picture, which you knew for sure was several days old, arrived on your damn cell phone. your boyfriend was kissing another girl.

the world fell on your shoulders and you'd swear the whole goddamn city heard your heartbreak. and if they didn't, you'd make sure everyone knew your fucking boyfriend was a bastard.

appears: yunho as ur boyfriend x san + wooyoung as yunho's friends x chaeyoung (twice) as ur best friend

genre: angst, basically. college au

warnings: nothing that bad for the moment. breakup, cursing, cheating

word count: 2.8k

intentional use of lowercase letters

songs i get inspired by: how long - charlie puth + reckless - madison beer + what was i made for? - billie eilish + mad hatter - melanie martinez + 911 - elise

it is not meant to be representative of jeong yunho's personality or any ateez or another groups' idols who appeared ♡

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ♡ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

you slammed your bedroom door shut, holding your phone tightly, almost on the verge of breaking the screen, your heart beating at a speed you had never known before. you felt dizzy, as if the floor was dancing under your feet and it wasn't reality where you were crying now. you even feared tachycardia when you felt the air leaving your lungs "please baby, open the door! " yunho banged on the wood with his knuckles, which were already sore from all the things he had hit while trying to explain to you, losing his mind every time you interrupted his words with screams and whimpering. you silently denied several times, even though he couldn't see you. were you going crazy?

could you ever get over it? could you ever erase that image from your mind? yunho's hands wrapped around another girl's waist, almost skin to skin, their lips sealed together. could you ever forgive him? could you look at his face without wanting to vomit? could you?

"Please" the clanging of the door mingled with your almost incessant crying. there was nothing you wanted more at that moment than to disappear as you looked at that image that almost burned the palm of your hand.

you were always a trusting person. you gave the people around you the loyalty you knew they deserved, and you blindly expected the same from them. you gave everything with your heart, and though it was risky, it never went wrong. you had friends who loved you, and even yunho's friends seemed to love you more than him - at least until then. you were loved, the kind of person everyone wanted to be around because you had a full-filed heart and a joyful life. part of that golden fullness was jeong yunho. a boy one year older than you, whom you met in college, even though he went to a different one, but you bonded so quickly that you felt it was fate that brought you together. the red thread that some cultures talk about, wrapping itself around you both, loving you early. with him, everything happened so quickly.

yunho became obsessed with you and you fell in love with him. within months of meeting, you rented an apartment together and shared everything from then until this moment. two years had passed, the happiest of your life. maybe that's why it hurt so much. his love for you was like an unbreakable promise. but he had managed to break it, tear it apart, and with it, you. you felt your heart bleed at every excuse that came out of his mouth.

"get out!" you yelled again, this time kicking the door. yunho took a few steps back in almost panic, "i don't care where you go, just get out!"

"no, you have to listen to me!" he begged again, falling to his knees on the floor, losing his strength with every word.

he didn't even remember that girl, or the moment they kissed. or when she took him to her apartment. sometimes some guilty flashbacks, with her naked body under and on top of him, came back to his retina. he wished he could go back and erase what he had done, but he had no way of doing that. he feared with all his heart that he would lose you and see you crying over his betrayal. what yunho didn't know is that you could forgive him almost anything if you knew he was sorry and honest with you. of course it would have hurt and it would have taken time for you to forgive him. but you would have done it and none of this would have happened.

it caused your mind to take every little thing that could be remotely suspicious out of context, so started to think of her as someone who was in his life for a long time, not just a few hours at a party. the distrust now overshadowed all the love you had for him, because giving yourself to someone meant you became vulnerable, but you accepted it more than ever because it was him, and now you felt stupid.

"i know yunho. you were drunk. you don't know who she is. you don't remember anything" you snorted after opening the door with a bang, scaring him again, "i know your fucking story. but i don't believe it. i don't believe you" the anger coursed through your veins, infected with the sour pain of a broken heart.

yunho folded his legs over his chest and cried inconsolably, unable to look at you, " you said you could do anything for me," he accused, "and now you have to believe me."

"did I say that?" if you could, you would hit him right then and there "then I guess neither of us was sincere," you walked back into the room, took his suitcase from under the bed and opened it on the mattress, "or maybe my mistake was not setting the basis, like no cheating, for example".

yunho, who could see you from his corner on the floor, stood up immediately when he saw you throwing the closet open, almost breaking the hinges, "what are you doing!?"

"i'd go myself" you growled, "but I don't have a fucking sidekick to pick me up and fuck me tonight," your words were poison.

bullets straight to yunho's heart. he grabbed your wrist, not holding back the river that was aggressively gushing from his eyes, forcing you to face him "i'm not going anywhere without you".

you jerked out of his grip, "you know what? fuck it. i'm out of here" you dumped his suitcase on the bed, put it back in its place, and then grabbed your own clothes.

maybe it was better this way. you didn't want to have to sleep in the bed where you had shared so much; so much love, so much laughter and so many moments to cherish that now seemed fake. acted out by yunho. he denied it, trying to slow down your almost frantic pace. "you have to stop, please" he stammered, "you know i love you".

you stomp on the brakes, feeling the pain shrink your chest again "stop lying, you fucking bastard!" you face him again, pushing his chest with both hands, he staggered slightly as he stumbled onto the bed " that's not love, damn it! love is loyalty and respect! love is honesty! love is not fucking someone else behind my fucking back! did you think i wouldn't find out? unlike you, i really love my people, and that's why they love me back. seoul isn't that big, motherfucker!"

"stop it!" the crying blocked yunho's words from coming out naturally, "if you really loved me, you would believe in me!"

"you have no right to say that! don't you dare tell me how to love you when you… you…" your legs lost strength for a moment, forcing you to fall to the bed. you covered your face with both hands and let yourself go again.

it hurt too much to hold it in any longer. and it hurt even more to see him cry, knowing he was losing you. you didn't want to argue anymore. you didn't want any more screams or excuses. you just wanted him to hold you and tell you it was all a lie. that damn picture wasn't real. you were crying like there was no tomorrow and yunho, seeing you like this for the first time in two years and having brought it on himself, didn't know exactly what to do. he sat down next to you and tried to fulfill your secret wishes and hug you to comfort you for all the pain he had caused you. but as soon as you felt the touch of his hand on the bare skin of your arm, you remembered how his hand had grabbed the bare waist of that girl.

"don't touch me, please" you stammered, looking at him. your swollen face, red and full of the makeup you wore that day, made you a tragic scene, almost sculpted by a romantic artist. it was an image that would live in yunho's eyes forever, along with your words asking him to stay away from you. "i have to stay away from you" you confessed, standing up.

"don't go. let's talk about it. you and i can make it work, huh?" he looked at you almost devotionally as he spoke those words, tinged with sadness.

"you don't understand yunho. it can't be fixed, you broke it. you broke us. i don't… i don't trust you anymore" your voice broke with every word, "and there's nothing you can do about it."

"jagiya, don't say that. we can always handle everything, like we promised, right? we can… i'll give you space. i'll leave. i'll call mingi and stay with him until you want to talk to me" he followed you down the corridor while you kept denying it.

"i'm not staying here, there are too many things that belong to you and I don't want anything involving you," you didn't even look at him as you spoke the most painful truth you could.

"where will you go if not with me?" his tone was a thread almost as weak as the one that bound you together at that moment.

"i'll call chaeyoung. don't worry."

"how can I not worry? i can't just let you go."

"you don't have the right anymore, yunho, you and i…"

"don't say it, please don't."

"you and i are nothing now," you reiterated, your face drenched in pain, "gonna call from the street, can't stand to see you longer."

you took your jacket from the coat rack by the exit door, wanting to leave him behind. but as it was obvious, he tried to stop you again. he placed himself between you and the path that would separate you, forcing you to face him "look at me" you obeyed "i love you. don't leave me, please. i beg you" you began to cry again, "please don't do this".

you sobbed loudly again, clutching the warm cloth between your hands, opening the door and forcing him to move away from you, "i love you too".

those were your last words before he closed the door behind you. he didn't stop you again. he didn't have the strength because he knew you were right and his chest was already burning too much to hold you back any longer. no clue if he was being a coward or not, but he felt that the more he tried, the more he would screw it up. so stood there with his back against the door where you had just left, both knees pressed to his chest on the floor, crying as the memories from every corner of your house spoke to him. the pain and guilt was bitter, and your hateful voice echoing in his head just reminded him over and over again that it was all his fault.

when you finally reached the damn street, your blood made your tears boil. called chaeyoung, who promptly appeared in front of you in an uber.

days went by without you ever talking to him again. the pain and anger were really nothing compared to the disappointment you felt towards yunho. not only had he cheated on you with someone else, but he had hidden it from you, and for all you knew, it could have been days, weeks, or months. it didn't matter to you anyway. he messed up big this time and lost the most important thing in a person for you: trust. so even though he called almost every day and at all hours, chaeyoung, who had hosted you at her house until you found a new place to start over, made sure to keep you away from him and all of his friends. she cared for you like the great friend she was and took care of you to her heart's content. she was also the one who went to get your clothes from the apartment and put up with yunho's crying and regrets. chaeyoung closed the door and kept everyone and everything to do with him away from you. she cared about nothing but you and your well-being. that's why she wanted to slap their pretty faces when you heard san and wooyoung's voices calling you from somewhere in the mall.

you sighed heavily. for god's sake, you were there to clear your head and the first thing you came across was the inseparable couple. you slowed down your steps and that of your friend, who looked noticeably annoyed, and found them quickly approaching your back. "hey, what a surprise" you said with a slight curve to your lips, both boys smiling at you, but you could see the pity behind the pearly line of their teeth.

"how nice to meet you. it's been a long time since we had a chance to talk" san spoke first. Wooyoung nodded, confirming his friend's words with a guttural "too much" sound.

"I haven't been out of the house much lately."

the three of you exchanged a few words while chaeyoung stood silently by your side. she only greeted them with a quick nod of her head. she didn't trust what they would say, and indeed she was right "so….don't you want to know how he…?"

"no, I don't" you condemned san's question. they both sighed like you before and slightly shook their heads.

the disappointment in their eyes as your breath caught angrily in your throat. stand your ground, you told yourself, almost trembling at having them so close. they shouldn't have dragged it out in the open, but it was clear, really, that they would. they didn't want to hurt you, you knew that, but there was something inside of you that told you that good intentions weren't enough anymore.

"don't be like that, huh?" wooyoung's voice seemed soft, almost childish, raised a few tones above normal. he tilted his head, looking at you with a small curve of his lips, "don't you think it's been long enough?"

"yeah, you've already punished him, now you should talk."

"we've talked enough," yours was nowhere near as friendly as theirs. you sharpened your gaze, almost intimidating them with a picture of you they hadn't seen before.

you didn't know this side of you either, and maybe it never existed until now because no one had ever hurt you like this. you lifted your chin, finally removing the "friendly" grimace from your face. chaeyoung held your forearm, wordlessly encouraging you, and gave them a notoriously unpleasant look.

"what's the point, you're suffering and so is he."

"are you trying to tell me how to deal with my ex cheating on me, choi san?"

"hey, don't be like that, we're trying to help."

your lips parted slightly and a grin-like grimace adorned your lips. you let out a small laugh, raised your eyebrows, and looked slightly away from san to focus on the younger of the two. you couldn't believe what they were saying. help? help!? they should apologize to you too. damn fools.

"you have some balls saying that, wooyoung," chaeyoung spoke over your silence, and even though he tried to answer, you stepped forward.

"you know what? i was just trying to be nice. but it's over," you snapped seriously. their eyes fell on you in confusion. "when i think of you guys, who were supposed to be my friends," you emphasized the last three words and watched as they both held their breath for a moment. they had definitely never seen you like this before. "do you think i'm grateful to see you here? missed you? you've disappointed me as much as he has, all you've done is prove that the saying about your boyfriend's friends being his friends and not yours is totally true," you denied with an almost comical smile, "I guess i should thank you for teaching me a lesson"

"what-what are you talking about?" stammered san, stunned.

"you knew all about it. you two and your whole fucking little group. you were there, you saw it. none of you stopped it and you didn't warn me either. are you trying to help?" you snorted "don't mess with me guys. you're fucking hypocrites."

"you're overreacting. we're just…"

"fuck you. fuck you and your good intentions. all you can do for me is apologize and punish your little fucking friend for ruining a person who really loved him."

chaeyoung looked at you proudly. she never thought you would be able to stand up to them like that. she noticed a change in you, in your gaze, in the way your body towered over them even though you were quite a bit shorter. in your courage and the way the venom charged your words like bullets. for the first time in your life you were not trying to be friendly. instead, san and wooyoung did not come out of their shock. the words of the one who - they discovered at that moment - was their friend hit their brains with heaviness. they felt out of place, you didn't look like yourself, and those words could never come out of your mouth. but they didn't take into account how much pain can actually change a person, and you did. you gave in to a much darker and colder part of yourself, one you didn't know until your warm heart broke in two. you no longer wanted everyone around you to feel good, you no longer wanted to help anyone. you wanted the world to know what they had done to you, and the more your anger spoke, the better and closer you felt to yourself. it was your time to heal, and you alone would decide how to do it.

"i'm going to ask you something since you're here," you continued, "stop calling me, i don't want to have to block you. oh, and tell hongjoong, the same one who claimed to be my best friend, that he can get his ass kicked too."

with a poisonous smile, you walked away, feeling the adrenaline rushing through your body and quickening your steps. god damn, it felt so freaking good.

꒦꒷♡꒷꒦

it is not proofread, so if you find any errors, please tell me!

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deathlieteez · 9 months

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yo no soy celoso

pairing: idol!san x f!reader

genre: angst, eventual smut

synopsis: you didn’t expect to run into your ex on the way back to your hotel room.

wc: 4.4k

a/n: feedback is much appreciated! it motivates me to keep writing :)

“yo no soy celoso, pero ¿quién e’ ese cabrón? dime quién e’ ese cabrón. tranquila, no soy psycho. no vo'a hacer un papelón, pero…ouch! mi corazón.”- bad bunny

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deathlieteez · 9 months

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HONGJOONG ✦ YOUTUBE LIVE 230803

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deathlieteez · 9 months

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so true topaz ;)

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deathlieteez · 9 months

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Better Than Me? | Part 1 (San, Wooyoung, Yunho, Seonghwa)

Rating/genre: M(18+), established relationship, also friends to fucking; smut 💖 Pairings: San x Reader(f), Wooyoung x Reader(f), Yunho x Reader(f), Seonghwa x Reader(f) Warnings: Explicit smut, oral (f receiving), fingering, taunting/teasing, dom!San, bratty-ish sub!reader, lost/confused other members lol, San is such a shit honestly, debatably dub-con (reader says ‘no’ and while we know she’s into it, there’s no way for the others to know at first), she has a safeword and they mention it but she doesn’t use it, manhandling, reader is small/weak enough to be easily restrained by San, degradation/humiliation, reader gets called a slut, brat and good girl, also pet names ‘baby’, ‘jagi’ and ‘sweetheart’, reader wears a skirt, bra and panties Word Count: 5.5k Summary: It’s always been just a harmless game, flirting with your boyfriend, San’s, good friends. He’s even in on it. But one night, he starts pushing things further than ever before.

A/N: This might not be for everyone. It is sort of dub-con at first so if you are not down for that PLEASE heed this warning and DO NOT read. I do not want anyone triggered because of this. The activities that take place have been very loosely (read: jokingly) discussed with reader prior but no explicit consent was given and what happens could be seen as coercion because she does sort of fight it and appears unsure at first.

“Shhh, baby…Do you want the guys to hear how much of a slut you are?”

Without thinking, you had nodded, too caught up in the bliss of San’s fingers working inside of you.

He already knew you found his friends attractive; you’d talked about it before. And it didn’t really seem to bug him. Mostly he liked to taunt you about it, usually when he was deep inside you – thought it was funny that you found all of them hot but he was the one that got to have you.

But to the point where you actually wanted them to hear your moans? That, he hadn’t exactly been expecting.

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deathlieteez · 9 months

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Breed! Chapter 2

Research

ღPairing: Reader (f) x Park Seonghwa x Kim Hongjoong x Choi San x Jung Wooyoung

ღGenre: smut with no plot (if you squint, there's fluff)

ღAu: alien!teez, s2l, established relationship

ღWord Count: 1,894

ღWarnings: bdsm (tied up San), voyeurism, exhibitionism, jerking off by machine, virgin! seonghwa, corruption kink, reader is always cock hungry okay, penetrative sex with no protection, breeding kink, using cum as lubricant, m licking m cock, colored alien cum!, territorial! hwa, m orgasm x 2, degradation kink

ღRated: 18+ MDNI

ღDedication~ @thelargefrye you can blame smalls for hongjoong and wooyoung being included @mejuii @downtoamagicalland for being my ever-supporting beta readers

ღChapter 1~ Abduction

Slithering white rope-like strands suddenly came out from the ground and wound themselves around San. San yelped at the sudden attack and started to pull and grunt in an attempt to save himself. "Seonghwa?"

"I will take up your offer of data gathering," Seonghwa replied.

San momentarily stopped struggling and you watched with horror as the ropes slithered along his skin, tightening against his bronze skin. "Wait, really?" His face was both surprised and curious, "You're gonna fuck her?"

You stood up quickly, your skirt falling against your skin with the change of gravity. "What are you doing to San?" You demanded. Suddenly the severity of being kidnapped by aliens was starting to dawn upon you.

"We have observed that human males tend to get territorial with their mates. It's better if we restrain him while I…" Seonghwa licked his lips, "...how did you put it? Fuck her pussy full of my cum?"

You whimpered. You knew Seonghwa didn't know how dirty those words were, but that somehow made their effect more lethal. "San, look what you started!"

San was completely immobile now, only his pecs and shoulders peeking beneath the ropes. "I'm sorry I like watching other men fuck you?" He mockingly apologized, making you scoff.

Seonghwa cocked his head, stepping towards you. "Do you not wish to volunteer? We can find another suitable unmated female--"

"No," You cut him off rather firmly. You cleared your throat when San began to snicker in amusement. "I mean, it would be more efficient to use me, wouldn't it? You won't have to waste the time to explain it to another."

That sharp foreign language punctuated the air again. Seonghwa sneered a bit but quickly smoothed his features. "The others will join us now."

"Others?" You squeaked, twisting your fingers together in anxiety, "More are coming to watch?"

San started to cackle, throwing his head back. "Oh, this is getting better."

A hole opened up above and a disc descended with two individuals on it. They were shorter in stature than Seonghwa but not by much. They also simply appeared as two human males; both had faces that you couldn't read.

"I thought only Hongjoong was coming to replace me?" Seonghwa said in a tone that seemed to you like he was not impressed there were two of them.

"Wooyoung insisted," Hongjoong corrected Seonghwa. "He wants to try after you."

You began to stutter and moved closer to Seonghwa. "Seonghwa?"

Hongjoong laughed dryly. "The female is amusing in thinking that you would save her from such a fate."

Seonghwa’s arm, nonetheless, curled around your waist. He tilted his head at you. "Why do you search for solace in my arms? Is it because I chose you to mate with? Was it my tongue inside of you? Is that the appeal of this animalistic urge you humans endure for offspring?" Seonghwa pulled you closer. "Do you seek protection from other males penetrating you?"

You cleared your throat again. "Actually, I was wondering if you would allow it."

Seonghwa blinked at you profusely and then Wooyoung and Hongjoong broke out into laughter. "She wishes for more cocks. Clearly the more diverse DNA she absorbs, the better her child will become."

San was snickering again and you sent him a scathing look. "San!"

Wooyoung strode over to your restrained boyfriend. "You no longer struggle. Is it because Seonghwa licked your cock? Do you feel a sense of connection with him?" Wooyoung turned back towards Seonghwa. "Was that another part of the breeding process? Perhaps another must respect the cock that penetrated previously."

San coughed and blushed and stared high, high up to the ceiling. "Why didn't I think of that?"

Seonghwa’s fingers tightened on your body. "I am next. I have observed and now I will attempt to replicate."

His robe dropped to his feet and you let out a low moan. His body was more slender and flatter than San's but your fingers smoothed over his chest in appreciation nonetheless. "I should remove my clothes as well."

Seonghwa’s eyes were hooded and his cock bounced angrily against his abdomen. "Is it the proper way to do so?"

"Me and San just fuck with clothes on because it feels more forbidden," You admitted quietly.

Seonghwa kept his voice to the same level yours was. "This is quite forbidden."

"You should speak louder," Hongjoong interrupted. "If you're going to replicate, we need to hear everything for our turns."

You swallowed and found there was no moisture in your mouth. "How…how many are there of you?"

"Six of us,” Hongjoong reported, “It is not known how many of us should learn. In case it is decided that without enough data, we cannot make a concise choice, so the more data we all gather, the better."

"Surely the more data the better," San said in a slight squeal, trying to sound serious like the aliens but beyond excited. Was it going to be a gang bang? San knew you had always secretly wanted that experience, although you were plenty happy just fucking San.

"Precisely, human," Hongjoong smiled dangerously.

"I shall begin!" Seonghwa announced.

His hands cupped your face and he brought his lips to yours. You held perfectly still as they danced along yours with such feather light touches that you whined and pushed up on your tippy toes. You wrapped your arms around Seonghwa’s neck and slanted your lips over his. His eyes widened in surprise before he closed them and let your tongue take over in dominance. You whimpered when he melted under your touch. You suddenly wanted Seonghwa everywhere at once.

"You don't have to prep me, like San did," You whispered against Seonghwa's lips, your foreheads pressed together, "His cum will work fine."

San moaned in his spot. "Fuck, that's hot," he said as he bit rather harshly on his lower lip.

Seonghwa turned you around easily. "Then shall you bend over for me?" He asked.

You shook your head and turned around back to face him. "We can try a different position."

Seonghwa's eyebrows furrowed. "You use more than one position?"

That's when San started to struggle in his restraints once again. "Let me out! I won't be bad, I'll just help!"

Wooyoung bounced on the balls of his feet, looking ecstatic that the show was about to begin. "He's not entered her yet. Let's be safe and keep you confined."

"I love having my dick squeezed but this is not the interpretation I prefer," San grumbled in an adorable pout.

Hongjoong snapped his fingers and suddenly San yelped and panted. "Wh-what are you doing?"

"Mingi thinks it's a good idea to acquire pure, unmixed cum from the male," Hongjoong supplied to the room.

"Who---hhhnnnnn--okay that--wow!" San was a whimpering mess and you knew that noise.

"San, are the ropes pleasuring you?" You demanded.

"Your mate will be fine, human," Seonghwa insisted, drawing your attention back to him. "What do we do next?"

"Well, I guess--" You managed to pull your eyes away from your boyfriend whose features were contorted in pleasure. "I'll need to wrap my legs around your waist--!"

Seonghwa placed his hands under your ass and leveled your lower half with his cock. "Like this?" He asked with raised eyebrows.

"Wait," Hongjoong commanded, stepping closer. "I wish to observe you penetrating the female."

"Female or human is kinda clinical to refer to me as, don't you think?" You whined pathetically.

"The male called you Babe?" Seonghwa tilted his head cutely.

You shook your head. "That's what San addresses me as. I want something different for you. Please?"

Seonghwa looked at a loss for words, face truthfully unsure. "What do I do?"

"Interesting. The female seems to want a further connection with you, Seonghwa," Hongjoong observed out loud.

"Mingi, adjust the bindings," Wooyoung said from his spot beside San still. "Let's see his breeding in action. We can collect more data with him outside of the pussy."

San choked again. The ropes adjusted until they revealed the ropes convulsing around San's very happy cock. "Fuck, I thought you were the only one that was going to have fun after this," San said, clearly directing his words towards you.

Hongjoong abandoned his post near Seonghwa and walked towards Wooyoung and San. "Figure it out, Seonghwa. I will begin the ritual by licking the male's cock and then yours."

"What?!" San and Seonghwa exclaimed at the same time.

"But I thought I was going next!" Wooyoung protested.

"Is there something you adore in your world?" You asked gently.

"There is a moon that orbits our planet. It is the most beautiful pink color I have ever had the pleasure of viewing," Seonghwa responded solemnly.

You pressed your lips inwards. "Will you call me your moon, then?"

"My moon," Seonghwa tried out the words carefully.

You smiled at the cute moment before giggling as San cursed loudly, which is usually what he did when he got his dick sucked. Hongjoong walked back to your side with a thoughtful expression. "He tastes interesting." Hongjoong locked eyes with Seonghwa, "Will you taste differently?"

Seonghwa let out a garbled gasp as Hongjoong gripped Seonghwa’s cock between the two of you and licked the head daintily. "Different but not in a bad way," Hongjoong observed. When Seonghwa simply stared at him in shock, Hongjoong directed Seonghwa with a jerk of his chin, "Focus, Seonghwa, you have to fuck the female!"

"My Moon," Seognhwa tried out the nickname again, "I'll use San's cum as lubricant and fuck you?"

You nodded eagerly and it all started up again. Seonghwa slid into you, with no restrictions. The look of pure enrapture on Seonghwa’s face made you realize, somewhat belatedly, that this was Seonghwa’s first time. He came at it with such an analytical mind that it made you forget he had never had sex before.

"I have discovered why humans copulate in such a way," Seonghwa said with reverence. "This pussy is so good."

Hongjoong stared up at Seonghwa, eyes studying the taller alien's faces. "Explain."

"The warmth and the wetness give unfathomable pleasure and comfort." Seonghwa's hands tightened on your ass and then began to move you up and down on his dick, like you were his own personal fleshlight. The moan he let out, the way his eyebrows furrowed like he was in pain, Seonghwa was pussy drunk on his first pussy.

"I told you there is no greater pleasure than fucking that pussy," San spoke up.

"Speed it up, Mingi," Wooyoung commanded, "He’s close."

"I don't think--!" San's back bowed as the ropes contracted and released around his dick. He was a babbling mess at that point and Wooyoung was quite interested in the whole display.

Hongjoong gripped Seonghwa’s jaw and turned his head. "Your mind is unraveling, what is wrong with you?"

Seonghwa shook his head and fucked you enthusiastically. The way he was hitting the end of you was making you feel some type of way as well. "You must experience it! That is the only explanation."

Hongjoong stepped back and was about to remove his robe. Seonghwa snarled almost animalistically towards Hongjoong, like he was snapping his jaws at Hongjoong to stay away from his meat. “You will not interrupt me until I am done.”

Hongjoong smiled pleasantly. “Seems like it is not just the human males that become territorial. Theory confirmed.”

Seonghwa appeared stuck between the pleasure he was experiencing and his role as researcher for data. His head swung towards San’s direction. "How do you STOP fucking this pussy? How do you not procreate all the time?"

San laughed and sighed at the same time. "My point exactly. I tell her all the time that it’s a crime we don’t just stay in bed all day and fuck."

Seonghwa sent you a wounded look. "How dare you deny him this?"

You laughed in amazement. “I guess males are all the same, regardless of the planet they are born on.”

Seonghwa grew serious. “I will complete my research now.”

Hongjoong clucked his tongue to the roof of his mouth. “You’re starting to sound human. Be more patient! I would have you observe how you’re feeling more.”

Seonghwa shook his head, looking almost nervous. “I don’t believe I have a choice.”

You couldn't help but smile in pride. “Are you going to come so quickly, Seonghwa? Are you that pussy drunk that you can’t help but come inside of me just like that? I didn’t know it would be so fun to fuck a virgin.”

San’s cries began to crescendo and you watched, along with Wooyoung, as San tossed his head back and spurted across the room. His noises were like music to your ear, only making you even wetter, impaled on Seonghwa’s dick. San panted as he came down from his high but still he was not released. “Can I take these rope things home with me when you release us?”

Hongjoong scolded him, “Wooyoung, you were supposed to collect his cum! This is not a leisurely pursuit!”

You clenched down on Seonghwa and he let out a choked gasp at the feeling. “Please, do not do that! I am already close.”

You decided to play into your devious tendencies. Teasing Seonghwa was almost too much fun. “Come for me, Hwa. Fill me up with your cum. I want to be the first one to receive your cum. I want to be the first one to watch your pleasure written over your face. Come for me, Hwa.”

“Hwa?” Seonghwa’s eyebrows furrowed as if he was feeling intense pain, “Th--” He made the most wonderful moan as he came for the first time. His features were etched in bliss and your eyes captured it all.

You bit down on your lip. You thought that you couldn't get any wetter yourself, but regardless of all the cum that was filling you up right now, you quickly knew you were going to get addicted to seeing these aliens come for the first time within you.

“And?” Hongjoong prompted, not even giving Seonghwa a moment to breath.

Seonghwa ignored him and instead focused on you. “Is it customary to shorten your partners name when speaking to them during the fucking process?”

You felt your heart flop a bit. Who knew Seonghwa could be so cute? “It just felt natural. Did you like it?”

“It--” Seonghwa cleared the potential whine from his throat, “It urged me to come.”

You smiled happily. “Good.”

“Good?” Seonghwa frowned in confusion.

Hongjoong began to huff at being ignored. “This was an utter failure. Seonghwa you can remove yourself from the female. Wooyoung, you will send down Mingi to observe, you’ve been useless.”

Seonghwa pulled out of you and it was your turn to be confused. Green, shimmering, viscous liquid pooled out of you, mixed with San’s pure white cum. “Oh,” was all that Seonghwa could say.

Hongjoong’s eyes were on your cunt, watching everything. “Our cum is a different color than the humans. Interesting. Mingi, make sure that’s recorded. We will extract Seonghwa’s sample another day.”

“I will be back,” Seonghwa whispered to you before carefully settling down on your feet. Even as he picked up his robe and put it back on and walked towards the disc that would take him upwards, he still sent lingering looks back to you. Had the alien formed a bond with you since you were his first?

“What about me?” San pouted. He did tend to get clingy after a climax.

Hongjoong’s eyes moved up and down San’s restrained body, San’s soft cock still out of his confines. “Two climaxes should have subdued you.”

Wooyoung snickered and drew Hongjoong’s attention. “I told you to leave,” Hongjoong commanded.

Wooyoung kicked at nothing, sulking immediately. “I’m going after you!” he shouted rebelliously as he walked to the disc to join Seonghwa.

“You’re going to be as useless as Seonghwa, I can already tell,” Hongjoong muttered under his breath.

You held up a hand as Hongjoong made to disrobe. “I need a break. Please. Water and food would be appreciated.”

Hongjoong pulled back up his robe and you were almost sorry you said something. Hongjoong almost had as nice of a chest as San. “Very well. You should gather your energy and then we will come back. I will find out if there is no greater pleasure than fucking your pussy.”

Somehow the sentence coming out of Hongjoong’s mouth felt more like a threat than a promise, but it made you even wetter. New kink unlocked

Tag list: @hijirikaww @flowerboykun @kitten4sannie @starillusion13 @flurrys-creativity @stardragongalaxy @a-soft-hornytiny @the-flavour-of-deaths-ass

Chapter 3: Experiment

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