Can I just say Pearl is my fav gem
(and also I may or may not have read a bit too much into the whole Pearl backstory and came to the over the top conclusion that the original purpose of pearls were essentially to be nice looking furniture/decoration so...)
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Drew this at basic. I got one Drill Sergeant to ask me “what the hell are you drawing?” To which I responded “..uh, a character from a video game.” And the DS said “you’re into that weird shit, aren’t you?”
“Yes, Drill Sergeant!”
Another DS just said it was a nice drawing.
But my favorite encounter was during locker inspections, and the First Sergeant saw it.
>”holy shit, what the fuck is this?”
>crowd forms around my locker
>”private, did you draw this?”
>yes, first sergeant
>”it’s a good fucking drawing.”
>thank you first sergeant
>”I was complimenting the drawing, not you, asshole.”
>yes first sergeant
>”now, I like this, but why the hell does she have ropes hanging from her nipples, private?”
>uh… They’re attached to her clothes first sergeant.
>”…private I can clearly see they’re on her nipples, and I believe you know lying to your senior NCO can constitute UCMJ action, right private?”
>this asshole is holding back a grin
>I-I’m into nipple piercings first sergeant!
>barracks is in a riot, platoon DS walks away so we don’t see him laughing
>first sergeant looks me dead in the eye and smiles
>”private, you like anime, don’t you?”
>yes first sergeant!
>”but do you like real anime, private?”
>uh.. Excuse me first sergeant?
>”private, if you liked real anime her breasts would be bigger than her head, private. You don’t even got any tentacles and shit going around, how am I supposed to believe you private?”
>someone in the background yells “he’s lying sergeant!”
>god fucking dammit
>”alright private, since you wanna lie to me, you’re gonna do push ups and tell me what you really like on each rep, private.”
>wut
>”front leaning rest position, move!”
>I get down
>what the fuck is going on
>”down!”
>”up!”
>I’m at the starting position for a couple seconds and he gets down to eye level and stares at me
>b-big titty anime, first sergeant!
>he’s got the biggest fucking grin on his face and the rest of my platoon is fucking dying
And that was the time I did 10 reps of push-ups saying “big titty anime” at basic training.
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Fabulous Bowie by Helen Green
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@tekkonkinkshame @dpengu @r1ch-ln4mst3r
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I fell asleep on the late bus and when I got up I had a phrase stuck in my head and I literally do not know what it means
does “Jimmy pringus crinkly springy” mean anything to anyone???? Is that a thing??? I literally do not know what’s in my head
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