Yeah you're right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.
love it when i feel like this after writing 5000 oneshots every early morning, that are all left unfinished 'coz they're up and running in my head with additional sequels
having so much love in your heart is beautiful and amazing right up until you’re alone in your bedroom clutching at your chest and whimpering like a wounded dog
a friend has mentioned my (positive) changes these past few months, 2023 has quite been a year i suppose. not only have i started taking care of myself (often through workout), but i've also grown more social and active.
college intimidated me at first but my first impressions were waaaay off. academics began to bore me but the time offered by my curriculum encouraged me to form connections and meet new circles i never thought i'd ever get in. in no way would i ever predict that i, a scrawny and socially inept dude, will engage into sports with a bunch of seniors i just met onwards 1st semester, there is no way! it's such a pleasant, pleasant surprise.
mornings were met with comfort, my relationship with my mother improved, i'm able to try new things with less hesitancy, and most importantly i became more expressive and honest outside the security of my home. holy crap. it's a feeling i've never felt before... it's sicccckkkk!
but yeah, it only fully dawned on me after my friend told me about that, i was too caught up in the moment that i completely lost track with how i've changed as a person (in fact, a bit too much but most are positive.)
i'm able to enjoy life with less worries, and i'm very content with that.