glarnboudin

[glarnboudin]

1930s news about a trans woman: Well I'll be curfuffled young Corlotta Jhonson has transformed herself from a dandy into a dame and what a Bombshell she's become. And How!

1930s news about trans men: Wanted dead or alive this young lady who started wearing trousers, the tomboy terror known only as The Crust is wanted for snorting the President's personal stash of opium and has slain nearly every senate member in a pistol duel.

#trans

[glarnboudin]

OH MY GOD I LOVE IIIIIIT

peacock fakemon number one hundred million,

#084392 #pokemon #fakemon #aesthetic inspiration

[glarnboudin]

@tyrantisterror

So basically if you make most creatures a size they're usually not it is wrong in some way. A kobold or maybe even a funny doggy the size a building is just too much. Sure there are instances of it happening but it's rare and a source of much wonder confusion for how that happened. Now a dragon. You can basically make a dragon any size you want and it still makes sense. Is it 1 building big? That's normal. Bigger than a small moon? That's nature baby. A mere 3 grapes tall? Well that little critter makes an awful lot of sense now doesn't it? This is because basically dragons are like fish. you wouldn't dare tell a fish what it can and cant do,that would be absurd. the fish woudlnt even hear you because it is too busy chowing down on an delectable detritus it found. and dont even think of saying that to the dragon cause baby, the dragon is the fish's diner buddy and it's chewing louder than a lawn mower caught over a rock! you really should join in you know,its rude to stare

#dragons #weird shit #shitposting

[glarnboudin]

Found my 53yo very-much-not-online father in the kitchen today meticulously arranging cutlery on the countertop and i was like 'what are you doing' and he looked up at me with the world's most shit-eating grin and said "Your mother told me this is how you rick-roll the Youth" and i looked over and it was fucking. Loss.jpg.

#shitposting #funny shit #weird shit

[glarnboudin]

Day 4: Dragon

(Sorry if this took a while. I was dry on ideas and also went on vacation for a bit. I wanted to do the Codrille cause a plague dragon sounded really cool. It was only until today that I finally figured out a good theme for this piece. A care guide welcoming you to the job.)

Welcome to the Codrille Care Program! Once you have received the initial package containing this pamphlet, you are now an official member of the program. We’re glad to have you on board! The following segment will be a QnA dictating the extent of the program’s duties and history. What is the Program? The Codrille Care Program is a small organization tasked with caring for the small flock of Codrilles owned by the plague demons when they are not in use. We dutifully follow the care guidelines outlined in the master document and are dedicated to giving them the maximum quality of life possible. Fun Fact: Although Codrilles are noted to have a lower intelligence compared to other dragons leading to an inability to speak, that just means their intelligence is on par with highly intelligent animals such as dolphins or corvids. Why? It is our duty to uphold the Dragon’s Pact at all costs despite outsider opinions on the usefulness of Codrilles. Despite their unorthodox abilities disqualifying them from the usual smithing career many other dragons take, they are still an important asset to Hell due to their plague spreading abilities. Many plague demons have compared their impact to that of a warplane spreading a biological payload. Fun fact: Codrilles have flown alongside several military planes throughout history in order to boost the effects of their payload such as with the spread of Agent Orange. How? Cordille care is somewhat similar to the care of other dragons with a few notable key differences. The main difference lies their more animalistic nature. Codrilles are kept in stables and cannot directly communicate their needs and desires and thus must be either inferred or learned through bonding with the Codrille. Our Codrilles are highly personable with a variety of quirks that will make anyone fall in love with them. Another important aspect of care is their weekly crown polishing. A Codrille’s crown gem will lose its luster over time as it generates the Codrille’s natural plague aura. In the wild their gem is recharged by solar power and ambient earth magic but due to the Pact and human activity they are unable to access these resources. The gem can be charged and cleansed using demon magic however Codrilles have various different reactions to the process from complete calmness to rage. Fun Fact: During a Codrille’s juvenile salamander stage, it requires a heavy dose of pure natural magical energy in order to grow its gem. It has been theorized that humans looking at a Codrille and becoming aware of it sends some human magic into it which disrupts said delicate process and causes the Codrille’s death. What about me? Once you clock in for your first day, you will be assigned to a Codrille of any age stage. If you are assigned to our breeding program, you will be in charge of the chicken flock that hatches the Codrille and will note if the rooster lays an egg. Once the egg has been determined to host a Codrille (if it is not, they will be given to other dragon rehabilitators), you will be assigned to watch over its development in the mortal world. Do not look at it when it hatches before it sees you. Demon magic has been shown to corrupt a Codrille’s developmental stages leading to defects in adult life. If you are assigned to the juvenile program, you will be tasked with feeding the salamanders and tracking their food intake. You are not allowed to look at them in this state either but you will monitor their health based on the amount of bad luck emitted by them in this state. If you are assigned to the adult program, you will be placed with a team of carers assigned to a Codrille tasked with meeting its needs and keeping it satisfied in between the occasional deployment. You may be tasked with ride training a Codrille to get it accustomed to being ridden by a plague demon. Fun Fact: Codrille riders were one of the major forces that saved a lot of dragons from the cullings that occurred prior to the Pact. Good luck on your new endeavors with us! 

#pleb-the-original #dragons #monsters #thecreaturecodex #urban fantasy #demons #hell #writing prompts

[glarnboudin]

Dr. Seuss was not even in the general area of fucking around.

#dr seuss #cartoons #political cartoons

[glarnboudin]

if you are the type of person to tell a girl to stop driving around with an adult sized plastic skeleton strapped into the backseat of her car do not imagine even for one second that you could ever score a girl who would drive around with an adult sized plastic skeleton in the backseat of her car

#skeletons #weird shit #funny shit

[glarnboudin]

i can't imagine a world in which i haven't put this video on my page

#shitposting #funny shit

[glarnboudin]

I guess friendly reminder that you can't actually judge someone's socioeconomic status based on what they own and the classic republican "they can't be poor they own a smart phone/computer" argument doesn't suddenly stop being complete out of touch nonsense when a poor person makes it.

Anyway insert "y'all can't be trusted to eat the rich bcs you'll target taco bell shift leaders and people with playstations instead of actual billionaires" post here.

[glarnboudin]

in my mind if dragons were real then western and eastern dragons would be only distantly related species filling the same ecological niche across different continents. but due to visual similarities got called the same thing in English. and it would be one of those things that you hear on trivia game shows and go "oh that's neat" about and then move on with your day, like how tanuki get lumped in with racoons even tho racoons are musteloids and tanuki are canids. do you see my vision.

#dragons #speculative biology #worldbuilding #urban fantasy #monsters

[glarnboudin]

DO NOT LET SOCIAL MEDIA TURN YOU INTO AN AMERICAN

[glarnboudin]

#photos #lemmings

[glarnboudin]

I knew having Redditors cross-train on Tumblr would produce weird fucking magic.

#funny shit #shitposting

[glarnboudin]

hooray for blue charmander!

somehow I've done another Chartodile family moment

#cute shit #pure serotonin #pokemon #xxtc-96xx

[glarnboudin]

Happy Pride Month everyone! Remember 4 months ago when the CEO of this platform harassed and chased a trans woman off this website just for posting her transition timeline, then chased her to other social media platforms to continue harassing her, and threatened to call the FBI if she continued disputing the multiple dubious terminations of her blogs that did not violate tumblr's terms of service in any way? And despite tumblr staff insisting that the CEO was acting against their interests, the broad transmisogyny evident in the site's culture and moderation policy has still not been adequately addressed?

[glarnboudin]

dont talk to me til ive fucked my coffee

#shitposting #funny shit

[glarnboudin]

Why the tiger has become a transgender symbol in Japan

Gay Breakfast Pin Club writes:

Recently we learned about how some trans folks in Japan like to use tigers as a symbol for the trans community. It's a pun: Tora [虎] is the Japanese word for tiger, and when you sound out "trans" in katakana it basically starts with "tora." To-ra-n-su [トランス].

Toransu is clearly a loan word from English ("trans") that has been adapted to Japanese pronunciation (adding vowels/vowel epenthesis helps you avoid unpronounceable consonant clusters).

See also: MishimaKitan

The pin is available here.

#trans rights #shitposting