goldenchunkycat

[goldenchunkycat]

The way she looks at me you | Chapter 3

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Pairing: Neteyam x Na'vi!Reader x Lo'a k x Ao'nung

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Chapter Warnings:

- ANGST (non graphic depiction of depression, bad thoughts, self depreciation

- FLUFF (Reader and Lo'ak shenanigans, honestly it's so obvious what's going on between them) - SUGGESTIVE (a tiiiiny bit, Reader is horny but doesn't know it yet)

- NOT PROOFREAD ___ TAGS: @soxfix / @pwallettes / @arminsgfloll / @dazecrea / @annamarieisbae / @mabdxs-omfg / @nao-cchi / @tiddieshakeshownu / @hellokittiesxbae / @yeosxxx / @neteyamo / @itszzmoon / @todod0kii / @almighty-raiden-shogunate / @dakotali / @findingourtreasure / @ayanies / @kachowness / @b0rednb1tchy / @sushibatebue / @artologia-blog1 / @purplepursepaint / @official-witch-of-night / @swagiores / @jane-3043 / @lemonmoonmochi /

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A/N: Was in the draft all along... I'd like to apologize for the wait TT

An endless melancholy was keeping you from exploring this new world. Grabbing you by the throat, tightening his grip with every step you took toward that stretch of water.

Giving you a nauseous feeling with every piece of fish you put in your mouth. A melancholy that made you see your brother's shadow everywhere you went; beaten, bloodied, in need of help. And you hated the fact that you were not able to help him. You hated yourself for letting him go. For only watching his figure being taken away from you as the bodies of those Avatars fell one by one. Except for that man who was holding your brother. You hated yourself for not doing anything to help him, for being a bad hunter, a bad warrior, a bad Na'vi. You should have done something, anything, bitten this man's arm, reached out to Spider as they flew away, but you had not done any of that. You just stupidly hyper-ventilated and shook like a leaf, helpless. Just like you'd always been.

And you were punished. Eywa made you suffer and wither a little more every day. You could have blamed the whole world for your loss. Why hadn't they gone looking for Spider ? Why were they so happy ? Why didn't anyone wonder if he was getting enough sleep or food ? Why were they smiling while you were suffering ? Why was no one there for you ? You had reached a point where you did not care who it might be. You just wanted a presence by your side. Someone you with whom you could make fun of the world around you. Someone who would listen to you complain and despise yourself without trying to make you feel better. You did not want reassurance. You did not want to hear empty words. You did not want to listen to Lo'ak tell you that Spider would be okay because he was a fighter since you did not believe any of his words. You just looked into his eyes. Watching him lose himself in his thoughts as the words came out of his mouth automatically, watching him lie to you as he looked you straight in the eye. Watching that flicker of hesitation, pain and grievance.

You wanted someone to be by your side when the eclipse darkened the sky, when the nocturnal fauna awoke and illuminated the water with a thousand colors. You wanted to look at the phosphorescent fish and touch the plants that appealed to you so much. Sometimes, you wanted to fly on the back of your Ikran and fly over the seas to return home, to go back to hiding under the tables of the laboratory, as you did as a child. You just wanted to come back home.

But even though time froze each night, the latter falling silent, listening to your cries and whimpers, the sea breeze caressing your face, preventing you from losing your mind, even after all of that, the day would rise right after. The sun painted the world in its most beautiful colors and the rays caressed your face, reminding you that light always follows darkness. The Na'vis were coming out of their Marui, the children were laughing, the Ilu were giggling, the world was alive. So you had to be too. Then, this shadow disappeared and this scar in your heart, painful and sharp, closed for a few hours only, just for a day. Then another. Then a week. Then another.

And yet, the feeling remained. It was simply embedded in you, like the treacherous roots of a weed that would not give way despite the winds and tides that tried to uproot it. Everyone else was moving on, while you remained frozen. Frozen in a memory that you could not let go.

"Hey. Planning on doing something today ?"

"Piss off."

"Language."

You rolled your eyes at your friend's antics, telling him how much he reminded you of his father at that moment. Which he obviously did not take well, since he pushed you playfully, almost making you fall into the water, making you scream and hit his arm, eyebrows furrowed. He was there. Just right here, in front of you.

But Spider isn't.

You felt like you were going crazy. Not being able to enjoy your new life, the new start that was offered to you, because every time, that voice came to haunt you. It was trying to make you hate your friends and family, to make you hate yourself. And you could have tried to ignore it, if only that voice did not sound so similar to yours.

Lo'ak watched you look down at the water under the net you were sitting on, genuinely concerned about your lack of response. He was used to you insulting him, pushing him, hitting him, until he gave up and let you win. Like a child. Childish. That was the word that probably described you best. Clumsy, shy, annoying, kind, fearful. Lo'ak knew you just as much as he knew the forest that surrounded his village, as much as he knew his Ikran when he did Tsa'elyu with him, as much as he knew the back of his hand. But he felt like he did not know you anymore. And above all, he knew that what he thought was a feeling was no longer a feeling. It was a fact. You were distancing yourself. Each day a little more than the last, each minute a little more than the last.

When Lo'ak looked into your eyes, he first saw all the love you held for him. All the affection, trust and respect you had built up over the years, after spending days and nights fooling around together, getting scolded, making fun of people who had made fun of you. He could see you. But when he looked a little deeper, he felt like he was being grabbed and pulled into a bottomless pit. Cold, empty, dark. If he felt helpless just looking at you, how did you feel ? He would try to comfort you, to tell you sweet words, to find what you wanted to hear, what would save you from despair, what would make you smile again. But every time, you looked him straight in the eye, your soft, caring features never twitching in disgust or anger, never letting on that you knew he was lying to you. But neither of you said anything. You just kept lying, pretending. But Lo'ak ? He could no longer see you, and that scared him.

"You know…" he began, hesitating to say what was on his mind. His eyebrows were furrowed and his fists clenched around the ropes. He was trying to find the strength to ask you the hundreds of questions that were running through his mind, more than he wanted to admit, in order to find the answer to your problems, in order to find the solution, the cure that would work best for you. "Why are you so scared of the water ? Did you fall in when you were a baby?" He'd ducked out. Like all those times he was asked what was on his mind. He could not find the right words and instead opted for a ridiculous joke that he hoped would make you smile.

"Ahah very funny." you replied sarcastically, silently wondering if you could just push him into the water hoping he would drown. In spite of that, a smile, tiny, imperceptible if you do not look carefully, gently stretched your lips. A little grin and a snort, nothing more, nothing less. But it was enough for Lo'ak to know that you were still there. Maybe a little hidden by the darkness and the walls that darkened your generous heart, but still there. His friend was not gone, he could still see her.

"I'm not scared of water…" you hesitated, fidgeting with your fingers. You had been here for three weeks now, and although the Sully's had made great progress and were now able to spend a reasonable amount of time with their heads underwater, you had not even stepped into the liquid you seemed to hate so much since the first day of training. It was not for lack of trying every night. But could you tell your friend what was weighing you down ? What was making you take two steps back when you were only taking one step forward ? Did you have the right to put this burden on him ? This task that, you know, he would take to heart ? "Well, you know what ? Yes, I'm scared of it, and as long as your father does not find out, I'll be fine." No. That was not what you wanted. You could see that despite the carts and harassment you had been subjected to, Lo'ak was starting to like it here. You could not annoy him with your problems. Besides, a little lie wouldn't hurt anyone, right ?

That's probably what he thought when he assured you he'd bring Spider back to you.

Right..?

"Find out what ?" a voice interjected from behind you, nearly causing you to fall into the water for the second time that day, if it were not for Lo'ak's arm which, at some point in your shared time, had settled on your shoulder.

"She's scared of water."

"I'm not scared of water!" You replied, outraged at Lo'ak's quick and easy response. This boy could not seem to stop humiliating you in front of his older brother. You hated him more than anything when he did that. When he made your freckles glow with embarrassment, when he was the reason you were hot and bothered.

"Didn't you just say you were scared of water ?" He looked at you with a smug look. He had tricked you because he knew you had lied to him. Yet, when he lied to you, you said nothing and simply smiled, letting him believe that his words had comforted and soothed you. So what right did he have to call out your lie ?

"Yes. I am...scared of water."

"Oh. But we can-"

Neteyam cut himself, his brother's stare warning him. Right. He wasn't supposed to talk to you.

"You'll get better, don't worry."

Even those simple words seemed to make you fall a little bit more for him. You were so obvious that it was painful for the older Sully who only wished that you would understand that you and him would never be in a relationship, so that he could finally have a normal relationship with his little brother.

"Thank you !" you almost yelled, stammering and cupping your cheeks with your hands, trying to hide the luminescence of your freckles. You could not help but look at this boy you loved standing in all his glory above you. Tall, strong and proud. You couldn't stop looking at him with awe and wonder. Neteyam snickered and, under the insistent gaze of his little brother, decided to go do something else. Away from you the two of you.

It was strange how Lo'ak was protecting you. Even from him, his older brother. And it was nothing new. In fact, it had been going on for many years. Ever since that first time he came home from the lab, your small frame standing right behind him, happy to tell his parents that he had made a friend. Which was not an ordinary thing to do at that time. Since then, it was like an oath between you two. While his family used to say 'The Sully's protect each other', you, Kiri, Lo'ak and Spider used to call your strange group of friends 'The Four Musketeers', some people from a earthling's book. And while considering this fact - your awesome friendship, Lo'ak was way too close to you for it to be considered reasonable. He was almost old enough to find a future partner, but chose instead to spend all his free time with you. He gave it a few weeks before his little brother realized that he did not consider you just a friend. But well, Neteyam could not care less, maybe then you would stop fawning over him.

"I don't know if I already asked but… Why am I always making a fool of myself when your brother is here ?" You cried out, letting yourself fall on your back under the eyes of your friend. Yeah. You always made a fool of yourself when his brother was around, but that was cute honestly. Being clumsy since you were a kid, you had been past that awkwardness with Lo'ak for quite some time now - while he loved seeing that side of you. Just watching you fall headfirst from a tree and whimpering with displeasure right afterwards made him feel strong. Because it gave him a chance to put you back on your feet and tell you how much worse you were at climbing threes than he was.

"Yes, you already asked a thousand times before. And I don't know woman, I'm not you, put yourself together."

"Why ? You think that I'm embarrassing ?"

"Yes, duh."

"I can be more embarrassing than that-"

"-Please, no-"

"-But I honestly think I couldn't handle it. Probably would die from the embarrassment."

"Wouldn't surprise me." he snorted, rolling on his back to lay just next to you, your feets swaying in the water as a comfortable silence fell over you two, the sound of the villagers and the waves being the only noise. And the sky was beautiful. It was calm, refreshing.

You turned your head towards his face and gazed at his profile for a moment, getting lost in your thoughts. Lo'ak. He was the only thing filling your thoughts right now. He was a great friend, a stubborn brother, and a sassy son. This close to him, you could see every detail of his face. But you already knew them all. Every single detail. And you loved them. You loved the way he has more freckles on his forehead, the way his blue stripes were making a weird shape on his forehead. You loved the way he had pearls in his hair at the tips of his braids, and you loved the way he wore the braid you made for him, one night, with pearls that you carved into the wood, by yourself, and that he'd never undone since then. No matter how much he denied it, even if his head shape was more like his mother's, Lo'ak was the spitting image of his father, just as Neteyam was the spitting image of his mother. He was really pretty.

He turned his head and saw you staring at him for at least five minutes but decided to remain silent. He followed the way your eyes flew over every inch of his face, and sometimes, his gaze lingered on your lips as a tiny smile stretched your features. He was not sure if he should be flattered or embarrassed by the affection in your eyes. You were so focused that you did not even notice that he had turned his head in your direction. Another reason why spending time with you was so much fun - you were so clueless sometimes.

A strange sensation stirred inside him, but Lo'ak could not put a name on it. He felt as if his heart was swaying with the waves, because of the look that you gave him. It was the kind of look his mother gave him when he was a child, as she cradled him in her arms; the kind of look Neteyam gave him when he passed his Iknimaya; the kind of look Tuk and Kiri gave him when he played the fool or when he brought them back some pretty stones he'd found while exploring the forest with Spider. It was that kind of look, the kind from which he could not put a name on the emotion. The emotion he felt when you looked at him that way. So he did the only thing he knew how to do when he felt like that. He buried his feelings and, embarrassed, pushed away the form of affection, a.k.a you at this moment.

He smacked his hand over your eyes and pushed your body at arm's length before chuckling at your attempts to hit him, doing his best to avoid looking at your face, which must surely have been twisted into a frown, lips curled. "Weirdo."

So you would not be able to see his freckles flickering softly. Sometimes bright, sometimes dull, reflecting what was going on in the young adult's head. He did not want you to witness his vulnerability and inner conflict because you would ask him questions. Questions he had no answers for.

"Where are you going ?"

"Playing with the Ilu and Tuk." you answered, getting up from the ground were you have been taking a nap with Lo'ak for the past few hours.

"Seriously, don't you have anything better to do ?"

"Like what ? By the way, didn't you just miss your breathing lesson with the bullies ? Your father will hear about that."

"Oh shit I fell asleep !" he says, scrambling to his feet and disappearing at full speed between the Marui, leaving you behind with a wave of his hand. "See you tonight ! Try not to drown !"

You opened your mouth ready to reply, but closed it immediately as you felt your heart squeeze uncomfortably. Those last words echoed in your head and, although you knew Lo'ak was like that, teasing, joking, but still kind, his words, like an arrow, had hit your heart first. You could not seem to think straight as the only thing you kept repeating to yourself was mean, mean, mean. Yet his teasing had never affected you before, so why now…?

Looking at the sea, reflecting on what Lo'ak told you, you failed to notice the presence which was now casting a shadow over you. Admittedly, you always failed to notice whenever someone was lurking over you or playing a prank on you - Tuk, for example. So when you turned around and went head first into a strong torso, almost knocking you down onto the water, you yelped. Your hearing failed you, but now that an arrogant douche bag was laughing at your face, you were suddenly well aware of what was around you. You were able to listen to his nonsense, hoping that the son's chief, your greatest nemesis, would leave soon, quick.

He was alone, standing in all his glory, muscles glistening because of the water dripping from his body, reflected by the sun. It looked like millions of diamonds were put together to form this beautiful being, because, as much as you disliked him, despised him, you often caught yourself looking at him whenever he was begrudgingly helping the Sully. He was strong and capable, swimming like the older Metkayina soldiers, slicing the waves. In a way, he reminded you of Neteyam. You really hated this thought, but you also knew you could not deny it. Except that Neteyam was kind, and he was not.

"Hanging out with your boyfriend, freak ?"

You remained silent, doing your best to avoid looking tat his face, at him, his whole body, for a matter of fact. Even looking at his feet was making you sick, knowing that he was here, that he decided to spend some of his free time tormenting you. He used different way and words to provoke you and apparently liked calling Lo’ak your boyfriend. The first time you heard him saying that you stuttered and almost tripped over nothing. But you learned that ignoring him was the best thing to do.

"Can't answer ? Oh, I forgot, animals can't talk." he said, laughing boisterousl, as if he made the greatest joke ever. You, on the other hand, were very annoyed at his antics. Because even if you tried to ignore him, letting him talk shit about you, telling yourself that it was just a rough patch, getting over with it was hard. His voice was always lingering in your head. Even when you were meditating on the shore late at night, you could still hear it. It was echoing in your mind, adding to your own voice, saying bad things about yourself. Adding to the misery you were already putting on yourself.

"I-…" you stuttered, your freckles glowering. Even you did not know if it was out of anger or shyness. Ao’nung raised a brow, surprised at your outburst. Small and quiet outburst but still. For the weeks he had known you, made fun of you, bullied you, you had never once said anything nor reacted. It was funny, pitying you, watching as your face was glowering, your fist tightening, your eyes glistening with bushed tears of embarrassment. It was such a view. Ao’nung liked every second of it. He loved the feeling it provided him, the pit in his stomach whenever you would look up at him with those doe eyes of yours, nose scrunching in disgust. He did not know why and mostly how he felt like this, he just knew he had to tease you for it to work. So that’s what he did. But again, he had never seen you reply to you, today was different. You were different. You were…dull. Ao’nung frowned at that realisation. Why weren’t you like you ?

"Yeah ? Got something to say foreigner ?"

Your mouth opened, closed, trying to find the right words. You wanted to tell him how much you hated him, how you hated this place and it’s people, how you just wanted to smack him in the head, attack him with your Ileana, watching as he shredded him into pieces.

Oh, no.

No, it wasn’t like you. You were kind and caring, why did you think about that ? Why were you so mean ? It was scaring. You were scared. You did not like this feeling, the one of boiling rage, making you unable to think clearly, making you want to scream your heart out and break everything on your way. You did not like hearing the blood pumping into your ear, the twisting of your stomach as hot and white pain was flooding through your body. Pain from restraining yourself. You did not like any bit of it.

"Hmm, that’s what I thought." he said, frowning as he took a step toward you, backing you up near the edge of the net. A feet away from falling into the water. "You have always been a weirdo, but now it’s even worse. Put yourself together, freak." He backed away, eyeing you up and down, taking into your small frame, looking at the way your face was thinner than when you arrived, the way those clothes were engulfing you, the way your hair were unkept, tangled even. You did take care of yourself, even he could see that. You were not the girl he met that day on the shore, the one who laughed quietly with her friends, who was shy, who seemed to hold a comforting and warm light in her eyes. You were not the girl who reacted weirdly yet strangely lovingly - from his point of view obviously - whenever he teased you.

"What a drag…"

And just like that, he left as you were frozen in place, playing the event in your head.

Huh, what a pity, even your bully don’t want to bully you anymore…

"Tuk brought you shells. She wants you to do something with it." Kiri said, handing you a hessian pouch the size of your hand, quite heavy and filled with shells of all shapes and colors.

"I don't know if I can do it…" you hesitate, doubt creeping into your mind. Would you be able to make a pretty necklace without breaking it ? One that was beautiful and to her liking ? You were afraid of disappointing her.

"Why couldn't you do it? You did make me that pretty shawl, and Lo'ak's braid. You're talented in the art of making clothes and accessories."

" Well, it's not that. I've…lost my touch."

"Cut the crap. I know you can do it. Believe in yourself." she said encouragingly, patting you on the shoulder as she stood up to leave the Marui. "I'm going to go help Mom cook. Think about it."

Now alone, you did not know what to do next. Your hand repeatedly flew over the hessian pouch that lay between your legs. Hesitantly, you finally decided to open the bag of shells and spilled them onto the ground, marvelling at their different shapes and colors. No two were alike, it was fascinating and incredible. There were so many interesting experiments you wanted to try, so many sketches and drawings you wanted to make after seeing these wonders with your own eyes. But you had to take the plunge. You had to face your fears and be a better version of yourself. Everyone told you to, after all. For the time being, you'd settle for what was brought to you. Until you found the courage to dive beneath the waves.

You stood up and grabbed a small piece of rope that was lying around before returning to the cluster of shells on the floor. You sat and contemplated them for at least five minutes, your head tilting in thought as, from time to time, your eyes crinkled as you examined a shell more closely. You had to find the perfect shape and size, the right color match, keeping Tuk's measurements in mind so that the necklace would be neither too loose nor too tight. If Kiri or Tuk had been there, they'd probably have patted you on the head and said you were putting too much pressure on yourself. But you could not help being a perfectionist. Everything had to be in its place, perfectly sized and in colors that matched each other. You were not proud of this side of your personality, nor did you liked it. The one who was always striving for perfection, even if it meant immersing yourself body and soul, sometimes for hours on end, in the work or research you had undertaken. But everyone had their faults. You tried to learn to live with them.

Too lost in your contemplation of the shells, as you were trying to pierce a pretty spiral shell without breaking it, Neteyam entered the room. Scanning the room to see who was there, his eyes landed on your back facing the entrance. Tilting his head slightly in confusion, he hesitated to take a step. You had not jumped up and left the room, nor had you squealed and blushed. So you had not seen or heard him. Should he inform you of his presence ? Choosing the option that would give him a little more quiet time without having to look you in the eye until someone arrived, he leaned against a wooden beam and watched over you silently.

You must have been really concentrated if you had not heard him enter. Your ears, on the other hand, had perceived the sounds and were acting on their own will. Sometimes they straightened up and spun around to pick up the sounds in the tent, sometimes they flattened out on your skull and stayed put, as if you'd forced them to stop moving. Neteyam, from his point of view, found this scene comical and interesting. Before the moment he'd just spent with you - well, you get the idea - he found your ears very strange. They had…little hairs on them. Just like on your tail. Before, he could not help thinking that these physical characteristics you possessed only served to prove that you weren't a true Na'vi. But now, the mere fact that you looked different from the people of his clan was no longer enough to justify his dislike towards you. Because now he was on the other side of the mirror. He was the one who was different, in a clan where he knew no one and where people's opinion of him was based on the shape of his tail. It was…strange. Since arriving here, he'd been itching to know if you'd felt this way since you'd joined the Omatikaya…

Approaching at a slow pace, a smile on his face as your tail wagged lazily on the ground, he suddenly grabbed your shoulders, making you jump and squeal. In surprise, you suddenly let go of the string of the collar you'd been making, which, incidentally, was almost finished. Your eyes met - Neteyam had the audacity to look more surprised than you, before turning to the ground where pieces of shell were scattered, some broken in two. The warrior could see you were mortified and felt bad. He had no intention of sabotaging what you were doing.

He dropped to his knees and began picking up the pieces he knew were no longer usable, sincerely apologizing, "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were handling something fragile." He spoke to you for the first time in weeks. Before, he had done so, of course, but it had been more or less out of obligation since you always seemed to be with a member of his family. This time, you were alone. Lo'ak wasn't there to bother him.

Your hands flew over the mess several times, not knowing where to put them or what to do with them, while the ugly feeling of anger and frustration was trying to overwhelm you. So you tried to laugh at the situation. It sounded more like something between an awkward chuckle and a cry of distress. That did not prevent you from feeling an irrepressible urge to break everything and throw it away, or simply to go and cry in a corner, because yes, crying out in frustration was no stranger to you, and it was nothing to be ashamed of. Your language was crying, if that made sense. Sometimes, when you were laughing, you could feel tears welling up in your eyes. When you were really angry, you'd be silent and tears would wet your face. Now, the situation didn't allow you to make either choice. You had to laugh. That's what Jake had taught you. It was a proverb from his old planet. You shouldn't be sad about it; it's better to laugh at it. Or something along those lines. Well, you were still working on it.

"It was…" he left his sentence hanging, holding the pieces of shell in the palms of his hands as he looked at you, no doubt waiting for an answer from you.

"A necklace for Tuk… She'd chosen some pretty shells and wanted me to make an accessory out of them."

"Oh. I'm so sorry, I should have been more careful. Do you have enough shells left ? I could go and get you some more."

"Don't worry !" you shook your head vigorously, looking horrified at the idea of sending him on a mission. Averting your gaze from the colorful bits in your palms, you looked up at him and suddenly realized how close you were. There was nothing cliché about it. You could not feel his warm breath on your skin or smell his fresh breath, and your noses were not delicately brushing against each other as he was actually quite a distance away from you. At least a meter separated your two heads. But this was the first time you'd been this close to him. So close to your crush. At least, it was the first time you'd been this close to Neteyam when you were alone. Surprise and realization made you crawl backwards, your face phosphorescing blue as your mouth formed a perfect circle, your brain trying to analyze the situation. You stammered several times before taking a deep breath under the amused gaze of the young man in front of you and saying "It's- It's my bad. I'll get some myself."

Neteyam sat cross-legged opposite you, determined to finally have a normal conversation with his brother's friend. He had hesitated to approach you in an attempt to see your embarrassed pout once more, but finally decided to give you some breathing space. Leaning back on his two arms, he tilted his head, raising an eyebrow, confused, before asking you "But aren't you afraid of the water ?"

"No !" your gaze wandered as Neteyam waited patiently for your answer. How could you explain your problem to him when for so many years you had done your best to appear flawless and irreproachable to him ?

As you pondered the best way to explain your problem without sounding like a coward, your gaze finally settled on his arms. His outstretched arms, supporting the weight of his body. His muscles flexing, protruding, imposing. The way the leather strip around his biceps was stretching, holding on for dear life. He had strong, capable arms. Able to crave a bow in wood, able to stretch a rope for long minutes. It was with these arms that he was going to bring the meal back to his future mate, with these arms that he was going to hold her and cuddle her, carry her while kissing her as he gently laid her on the bed-.

Oh. Oh, Eywa, what was that ?

Out of phase by her own thoughts, she suddenly got up and left the tent running, without explaining anything to the confused boy. He sighed, annoyed at her, before getting up to throw away in the sea the small broken shells. Looks like she wasn't ready to have a normal and mature conversation with him.

Panting heavily, you stopped on the fine sand of the beach adjacent to the small village, the one that was usually devoid of people. There was nothing secret about it, it was just empty at all times, since there was no flora or fauna in these waters. Just rocks, with a few shells clinging to them, and limpid water whose limit was near the coral reef against which the waves crashed. It was calm.

Collapsing on the sand, you wiped the palms of your hands on your pants before putting them to your face, overwhelmed by shame and embarrassment. The images that had flashed through your mind seemed so strange, as did the feeling in the pit of your stomach. Hundreds of questions ran through your mind, questions to which you had no answers. Imagining yourself in his arms was one thing. You loved physical affection. Whether it was a hug or simply a hand in yours or on your head. You hardly cared what kind of affection you received, you just liked the contact and the feeling it gave you. You had no problem hugging your brother and your best friend, and often did. It was a little more complicated with Lo'ak. When you were little, it was not for lack of trying, but he always acted as if he'd just stuck to some slimy, disgusting material. All because you were a girl. Since then, you'd never tried it again. The only physical contact you had now came when you teased or hit each other. Sometimes he'd use you as an armrest and put his arm around your shoulder. You had different forms of affection, specific to each person with whom you interacted.

But you'd never imagined or interacted with anyone in this way. So these images that flashed through your mind upset you to no end, since you couldn't put a name to this form of affection. You felt like your body was on fire, you were bothered. Although it was something you were not used to seeing, you knew what a kiss was. Norman had explained it to you when you came back to the lab one day and asked him why Jake and Neytiri were sticking their lips together. He was surprised and a little embarrassed to have to explain it to you, but did it anyway. According to his explanation, it was something two people who really loved each other did to show their affection towards their mate. In a 'must-protect-my-baby' move, he also made you promise to only kiss the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. So naturally you wondered why you were imagining this scene with Neteyam.

Then, as the world turned gold, you had an epiphany. It was more than just a crush. You were in love with Neteyam. Oh so in love.

#atwow smut #atwow x you #atwow fanfiction #neteyam x reader #lo’ak x reader #ao’nung x reader #neteyam smut #lo’ak smut #ao’nung smut #avatar the way of water smut #the way she looks at you #atwow x reader #you landed on pandora

[goldenchunkycat]

warmth ― c.beomgyu x f.reader

wc: 4,1k. 

genre: frenemies to lovers, fluff (sometimes), suggestive, smut.

summary: you and beomgyu used to be childhood bestfriends, but you drifted apart and became more dismissive of each other. you both snicker and tease each other, but there's always a feeling of something more being there. perhaps a beach trip can manage to make you guys closer, maybe closer than ever.

cw: smut obviously, dry humping, masturbation (male), dry humping.

note: my second post! first post where i've written something with more advanced smut/suggestive content, hope you enjoy it. (not fully proofread)

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the ride to the choi family’s vacation home was long and tiring. your limbs were starting to feel numb after a ride filled with just sitting down and looking through the window.

when your mom told you that you’d be going on a road trip with the choi’s, this wasn’t what you had in mind.

you were squished between the choi siblings, uncomfortably moving around. with some of the luggage being placed on one of the backseats, the space back there was very little.

he was sitting by your side. his little sister next to him, as you tried your best to focus on the landscapes and not the uncomfortable position you were in.

“lily, stop moving around!” he scolded, trying to keep his sister from pushing him against you repeatedly.

“oh please, like you don’t move around twice as much.” you let out, looking back at him.

“why is it about me now?!” beomgyu shouted, then crossing his arms and looking away.

seconds later, the highway had more and more turns which made the car turn aggressively from one side to another. ms.choi wasn’t really the most chill driver. with each turn of the wheels beomgyu got thrown against you, making it harder to ignore the situation.

then, at one last turn beomgyu was done with being thrown around like a rag doll. once the car was turning again, he placed his one hand against the car door and the other one against the car seat, using them to stay in place. however, he didn’t predict how much it would close the distance between him and you. this new position made him corner you between the door and his side.

you were caught off guard to say the least. after doing your best at ignoring the turns, beomgyu's act woke you up right away. you looked up at him with confusion.

he refused to look at you though, feeling slightly embarrassed now. but it didn't stop you from keeping your eyes fixed on him, in an attempt to make him feel even more embarrassed.

that completely backfired though. soon enough, you found yourself trailing his soft features, surprised you hadn't realized how handsome beomgyu was. the furrows of his brows, the barely noticeable bite on his lips out of nervousness, his eyes looking to the side, all of it united in harmony.

finally, he met your gaze. the connection was enough to stop your daydreaming and realize it was him, annoying childhood friend beomgyu. he looked... irritated, and it made you irritated. because, why the hell would he be the one mad at you? he's the one invading your personal space!

he moved away from the door and you abruptly, sitting back down and grabbing his headphones quickly. after that response, you couldn't help but get annoyed. what's his deal?? you thought. you shrugged it off and decided to close your eyes and get some rest.

"wake up guys, we're here!" beomgyu's mom said with enthusiasm as she started taking the bags out of the trunk in a rush.

glimpses of light and a blurry view of the car seats flashed as you slowly opened your eyes. as you were  gradually waking up, you felt some sort of warmness against your cheek. confused, you looked down and around without moving too much. then it hit you.

beomgyu's chest felt warm and soft against your cheek, heaving up and down slowly. the arm he had on your shoulder kept you comfortably in place against him. you had fallen asleep against beomgyu, and he was holding you.

how did that even happen? you asked yourself. unsure what to do, you started to slide off of him in silent movements, trying your best not to wake him up.

"just go, i woke up like five minutes ago." he sighed, keeping his eyes closed and sliding his arm off your shoulder lazily.

"oh" you looked down, hiding your face from him (even though he still kept his eyes closed). "um, okay." you got up and stepped out of the car hurriedly.

"he could've woken me up or something! seriously!" you grumbled while walking into the room to unpack.

you unpacked your outside clothes, skincare, technology items, underwear, and other needs and stored them in the closet and bathroom. you felt at ease now that you were installed and that you had cleaned up your space.

the overwhelming space of the closet and room annoyed you though, what was the closet so big for? why was everything in that room in pairs?  this room is for one, isn't it? i mean sure the queen sized bed is a bit big, but i've slept alone in a bed for two before! your thoughts were all over the place, starting to get worried. they wouldn't make me share this room.... would they?

"what are you doing here?"

the familiar voice interrupted your train of thought, making you freeze. you couldn't believe it, your worst fear had come through. slowly turning around, you came face to face with beomgyu.

"what do you mean "what are you doing here?", this is my room...?" you replied in annoyance.

"pretty sure it's my room and my bed you're sitting on" beomgyu retorted while dropping his bags, stepping closer to your spot.

"you're kidding..." you looked at him, your face exposing your confusion to him.

"oh you'd wish i were, but i'm not." he scoffed. "i believe my mom didn't tell you, or me, that we'd be sharing my room." he sat down on the other side of the bed and pulled out his phone to scroll on it.

after a few seconds of processing this new information, you sighed and looked around. "i'm taking the bed" you stated.

"hell no! this is my bed y/n." he replied looking up from his phone, shocked you even thought of doing that.

"oh yeah? too bad." you retorted while lying down to take more space up. "unless you want to sleep by my side, you're not sleeping on the bed." you added in amusement, while stretching your arms.

"okay."

"what?"

"i said okay. i don't care if you use it too, i am not sleeping on the damn floor." beomgyu concluded while standing up to go to the balcony.

"fine! but don't complain later!" you shouted as he walked away. you weren't sure how to feel about it. you and beomgyu were not the closest friends, hell, you were like enemies. but you guessed it wouldn't matter that much, it was just beomgyu after all. you could easily ignore him.

later at the beach, 3pm. 

the heat of the sun burning your skin felt warm and cozy, making your limbs feel heavy, your body relaxing completely. you didn't sunbathe that often, but it definitely was a good decision to make today. the sun was slightly strong, a nice breeze soothing the fiery rays of it. the sound of waves crushing nearby created a peaceful melody. you couldn't feel any better.

nevertheless, you knew it wasn't good for your skin to be this exposed, not like you wanted to get health problems from some little UV rays. therefore, you reached out your hand to grab the bottle of tanning oil infused with spf that was sitting in the sand next to your towel. it felt like you were moving weights with how much effort you put into reaching for it.

"mom!" you called "mom! help me with the oil please!" you kept shouting, but it was useless, she was playing with lily far away. 

"you really can't keep quiet, can you?" beomgyu's raspy voice came from another side. you turned, finding him sitting down near you, his arms placed on each side of his towel, staring at the sea.

"when the hell did you get there? i thought i was alone." you answered while frowning at him. you really can't get a break can you? although you had to say, it was nice to know you weren't left alone.

"i was in the water, can't you tell from the wet hair? or are you just slow like that?" he mocked as he ran his fingers through his wet hair.

you rolled your eyes in response, he was right tho. his hair was wet, the t-shirt he had on was soaked, outlining his toned abdomen and muscles- that wasn't important. "whatever. where's my mom?"

"she's with lily, i don't think she'll be coming your way for a while." he yawned as he started to stand up, making the sand around him go towards you.

"watch it with the sand!" you scolded.

"oh?" he said, flashing a malicious smile. "what if i don't?" he started to shake the sand off his body, making it land on yours.

"so that's how it is! okay choi beomgyu! come here!" you shouted as you stood up and grabbed a handful of sand.

"oh shit" he mumbled before starting to run away towards the sea.

"that's what i thought!" you yelled while chasing him and throwing sand at him, every landing of sand making his back arch.

eventually, you both ended up going into the sea, swimming around and fighting with splashes of water. your laughs and shouting echoed as you fought. that was until a big wave started to approach you both.

you always had a slight fear of waves, since you were a little kid. beomgyu knew it too, you didn't love going too deep into the sea. those big waves freaked you the fuck out.

"beomgyu..." you paused while looking at the wave "beomgyu..!" you screamed getting more scared as it came closer. you moved towards the shore as you panicked, but it felt useless.

just as you accepted your fate and closed your eyes, you felt someone come and hold you tightly. beomgyu took you into his embrace, pressing you against his chest and hiding your face in it.

"i got you." he whispered, comforting you. looking at the wave, he watched how it was now significantly smaller. he held in a chuckle, knowing you forgot how much they change.

the warmth of beomgyu's body reassures you, making you feel safe and protected. your cheeks burned a bit at the thought of having his chest against you like this, but it didn't last long as you heard him let out a small chuckle. he couldn't hold it in anymore.

"w-what. why are you laughing?" you asked, dumbfounded.

"that wave was so tiny y/n! you worried over nothing!" he laughed softly, separating you from him, and letting you look around to find the small wave that passed. but the wave was the last thing you were focused on now.

his smile. his smile was beautiful, he was glowing. the earlier burn of your cheeks returned with the sight of his handsome face and cheerful laugh. it was like he was charming you.

"just- shut up!" you mumbled, snapping out of it, completely embarrassed. you turned away from him in hurried movements, leaving to go to shore.

"hey! i didn't mean it like that!-" he stammered, feeling a bit guilty after that comment. he didn't mean to make fun of you, not this time. but you were already walking towards the house, with your bag in hand. 

"fuck.." he hid his face in his hand as he sighed. it's not like he wanted to make you feel dumb about it, he knew you were scared. he gave up and left to go back to the house as well.

at the beach house, 7:30pm.

there was nothing that soothed beomgyu more than a late night shower. the warm water hitting his skin felt heavenly, as it made all of his worries fade. he sighed in relief as he rubbed the citrus scent soap all over his chest.

all of a sudden (strangely enough), the memory of your body pressed against that same chest came to his mind. the shape of your breasts that pressed so cutely onto his chest. your waist that was radiating body heat against his hand. the memory of your curves in his hold clouded his mind.

"what is wrong with me..." he sighed while looking down at the semi-erection that was growing between his legs.

his hand reached down for his cock, softly holding it and rubbing it at a slow pace. the image of your plump ass and back as you laid on your towel showed up, making his grip on his hard member stronger. soft whimpers started to come out of the boy's mouth, resonating in the shower walls.

"ah.. shit.." his free hand came up to cover his mouth in an attempt to muffle his sinful sounds. each stroke to his cock became more rough, intensifying his shame.

but honestly, could you blame him? you looked so cute. your hands grabbing onto his arms, your face hidden in his broad chest. and then, your boobs. god he loved them, loved how they felt against him, heaving up and down, wet by the salty sea water. he wondered how they'd feel in his hands, in his mouth, anywhere really…

the desperate tugs at his cock were turning frantic as he chased his high. he couldn't help but let out muffled moans, closing his eyes to picture you better. it was a sinful image, poor boy, touching himself desperately, while thinking of you. his shame was discarded to a corner of his mind, as he focused on the intense pleasure rushing through him.

"oh fuck- y/n-" he groaned as an intense wave of pleasure overcame him. hot spurts of cum painted his abdomen white, his cock twitching. the tiny rivers of water wiped the pearly stains off his stomach. and then, reality hit him. did he just cum while thinking of you? he turned off the shower and stepped out wrapping a towel around his waist quickly.

"finally! i started to think you'd just sleep in the shower." you stated, looking up at him from the bed. you had been waiting to use the shower for about 10 minutes now, and as much fun as scrolling through tik tok is, you were tired.

"w-when did you get here?" he questioned in panic.

"like... 5 minutes ago? maybe more. I don't know!" you replied nonchalantly. "do you shower with a shirt?" you joked. he was wearing the towel around his waist and yet he had a shirt on. what kind of outfit is that?

"huh? oh." he said looking down at the towel. "hey i might be a jerk sometimes, but i have modesty and basic respect. i'm not gonna carelessly flash you." he retorted while frowning.

"relax! i was just messing with you! god." you laughed and then got up to use the shower. "you better have not used up all the warm water choi beomgyu."

"guess you'll find out if i did!" he teased as he reached for the closet, looking for a pair of boxers to wear. he decided to put what happened in the shower past him, and to focus on other things.

late night, beach house, 11pm.

"this internet connection is seriously bad." you frown as you stare at the single bar on the wifi icon. "it's practically useless."

"you know where the connection's better? anywhere that's not my bed." beomgyu counters as he stands in front of the bed with his arms crossed, with a mediocre smile.

"stop being a bitch about it. either you share it or you bear it." you replied as you tucked yourself in bed, sighing in content as you felt the soft silk sheets. "huh, never knew you had good taste in sheets. or in anything for that matter."

"i'll have you know i have way better taste than you." he grumbled as he turned to get himself in the bed as well. he hesitated for a second, but he later climbed on the bed and covered himself with the same sheets.

"hey, um, if you really want your bed.. i could try sleeping on the couch.." you said softly as your back faced him.

he turned to be met with the outline of your figure in the dark. "it's late y/n. let's just sleep." he answered.

"i'm serious tho, i don't want you to be uncomf-" your words were cut off as you felt him get closer to you, his weight making the mattress shift.

"shut up and go to sleep y/n." he whispered against your neck, his voice low and deep. his tone was so intimate and yet it felt unfamiliar, it made you shiver. after saying that, he shifted again and turned his back on you too. were you going crazy? did beomgyu just make you blush with a single sentence?

your cheeks were flushed and you had a strange feeling in your stomach, but you shut your eyes and forced yourself to go to sleep. you shouldn't be feeling like that, not because of him.

the next morning, at the beach house, around 6am.

rays of sunshine came through the large window in front of the bed you slept on. you frowned as you struggled to open your eyes, not even sure you wanted to open them. everything felt so warm, cozy, safe even... you weren't sure what it was, but you never wanted to get out of bed. you finally managed to open your eyes, looking at the blurry light coming from the window.

you started to become more aware of your surroundings as you woke up, you tried to stretch until you realized something was holding you back. beomgyu's arms were heavy on your frame, trapping you between them. his mouth was slightly open, his eyes closed, his hair a ruffled mess. once it hit you that he was cuddling you, heat rose to your face. it's like he's some sort of magnet. you thought.

you couldn't quite see him, since your back was right on him. you weren't sure what to do, should you move away? should you just wait until he wakes up? what if he does and he sees you like this? no good solution came to your mind. and that moment, you stopped thinking at once.

something was definitely poking the end of your back, if not your ass. it can't be, can it? he's a man after all, you guess it would make sense. but still, you can't process whether or not it's what you believe.

trying to understand the situation better, you move your hips gently in an awkward attempt at feeling whatever was there. yeah, it's definitely what you think it is. it makes sense though, men can wake up with it. however, you don't know how it got to the point in which you guys cuddled, and it ended up pressing against you like that.

you figure it would be best to move away from him, so you start squirming and moving around as gently as possible. but the outcome is something you didn't predict. beomgyu's hands travel down to your hips and grab them, pressing them against himself further and stilling them.

"if i didn't know any better, i'd think you're trying to do something else." beomgyu murmured against your neck, his morning voice raspy and deep. his hands on your hips caused you to let out a soft whimper, which you abruptly covered with your hand.

"it's not like that- i- we woke up like this beomgyu.." your words came out rushed, you could try to explain yourself, but really what good would it do.

"i know, im fucking with you." he softly chuckled as he opened his eyes to look at you. it was annoying how good he looked, he really did glow in the morning sunshine.

"um, your hands. they're still on my hi-" you commented and tried to squirm away from him again. but just as you did that, beomgyu felt a flash of pleasure go over him, letting out a groan.

"oh fuck-" he groaned as his eyes closed. his hands gripped your hips even harder, making you feel a certain pressure that made your mind spiral. "im sorry, shit, sorry." he mumbled, now a bit ashamed. he was about to move away from you, until he noticed how red your face was, and how erratic your breath was. were you enjoying this..?

"i-it's okay, it's only natural.." you said with your cheeks flushed. you didn't want to admit it, but his bulge was pressing right against your clothed core, his every movement making you more sensitive to him. you could feel a small patch start to form gradually, it was embarrassing how easily he was unconsciously turning you on.

"y/n.." he said quietly, his mind starting to get lost on how good you felt on him. "you feel really good.." he sighed, making you shiver by how his hot breath fell on your shoulder. his hips thrusted up into you unconsciously, making his breath hitch.

"ah- gyu!" the childhood nickname you had for him came out of your mouth in instinct, as you felt him rub himself against your (now wet) core. you couldn't help but buck your hips against his in return, letting out a small whimper.

"fuck, c-can i?" he whimpered, his hips moving by themselves in slightly faster movements. his grip on your hips was starting to feel bruising, but it only made you more excited.

"please don't st- mphh" you said until you were silenced by beomgyu's lips on yours. his kiss was hot and feverish, making you dizzy. he started teasing you with his tongue, threatening to come in. and you let him, you tangled your tongue with his and started to kiss him like it was your last kiss ever.

"gyu-" you moved away to gasp for air, but beomgyu leaned in anyway, eyes closed, lips parted, absolutely wanting more. he didn't want to waste any second of this. he kept thrusting into your soaked panties, creating a delicious friction that made you gasp with each thrust of his hips.

"if i'd known you felt so amazing i would've done this way sooner." he growled while moving his hands to your waist, grasping it like his life depended on it. he then turned you around to lay you flat against the mattress, climbing on top of you shortly after.

"yeah?" you grinned. "then make up for the wasted time, gyu." you said between heavy breaths. he started to pick up his pace, his new position hitting you perfectly, bringing you closer to your edge with every snap of his hips.

"you know, i always tell you to keep quiet. ah-" his words came out broken, his hips stuttering "but the sounds coming from you right now are fucking heavenly."

you wince and grip him at his nape, a handful of his messy hair in your hand. he immediately reacts to it with a loud whimper, his cock can't help but twitch at that, and you feel it. every single thing this man is doing, is spurring you on further, you feel like you're insane.

"i'm close" you whisper as you close your eyes in anticipation.

"fuck no, open your eyes." he says as he lifts your chin up to face him. "if you cum, you do it while looking at me." he commands.

your eyes struggle to remain open, but your gaze never leaves his. you feel the knot in your stomach is about to snap, and you grab onto the sheets on top of your head.

soon enough, you feel the knot in your stomach snap,  all while staring into beomgyu's eyes, feeling like he's put you in a trance.

he followed suit, his orgasm washing over him like a big wave. his cock twitched as it stained your underwear with numerous white threads. you felt every one of them as they left a warmth on your pulsating core. beomgyu managed to partly muffle his last moan by hiding his face in your neck, his ears red and his cheeks burning.

you closed your eyes, coming down from your high. your chest heaved up and down, trying to gain air back into itself. you two just did that, it felt unreal.

"gyu.." you called out as you stared at the ceiling.

the boy didn't move from your neck, still breathing into it as he tried to come down from his high. however, he nodded and rubbed his nose against your collarbone as a way of acknowledgement.

"does this mean we won't annoy the shit out of each other anymore?" you asked.

"of course not dumbass, where's the fun in that?" he answered with heavy breaths and a little smirk.

you chuckled and then brought your hand up to play with his hair. it didn't need to be said, but you both knew that this was something bound to happen for a while now. you guys couldn't stay enemies forever, after all, you got the best of both worlds now.

"i thought so." you whispered before moving yourself back into his hold and falling asleep.

© kiztae 2023

#dry humping everywhere in my feed #txt hard hours #beomgyu hard hours #golden’s sharing (txt)

[goldenchunkycat]

Wooyoung fuck- love your thighs

Message: [Hope you're alright !

Hum, what do you think about thighs fucking with Wooyoung from Ateez ?] Warnings in the tags !!

Now THAT is interesting ! You know how people are always like 'is he a ass or chest man ?' HUH, that little mf would definitely come back home and put his dick between your thighs. Chest is great, comfy and malleable, yeah. Ass is spankable (I now this word does,'t exist don't come for my throat) and it helps him when he wanna have a good grab on something while he's fucking you from behind. BUT THIGHS ???!! God, he love your thigh because he can do everything said above with them.

Holding them and massaging your flesh while he's putting them up to have a good access to your pussy. He looses how your thighs can make him suffocate as your closing your legs on his head because he made you cum for the xth time of the night. And argue with the wall, Wooyoung would definitely get off at the feeling of you sitting on his lap. Lee give you some graphic depictions of it.

Now, if you're laying on bed minding your own business with your pajama (short dress hell even pants who cares) he would come at you, look at those damn legs of yours and suddenly whine and tell you that you're mean because you're teasing him. He's always pouty before flipping up the switch. ANYWAY !! If you're in the mood he'll go all out to make you feel good. He has a little ritual when it comes to this. First of all, he NEED to worship those hot thighs. Kissing, licking, biting, sucking on them, you always have to wear tights when going out with a short skirt or something like that. When he's sure that he had a taste of it, NOW he can give you head. You know with that bratty tongue of his this man can do miracles.

Nevertheless, if you're not really in the mood, he'll respectfully beg and pleader you to let him fuck your thighs. You'll said yes cuz huh it's Wooyoung from Ateez, and duuuude, he'll take those legs and manhandle you so they're pressed together, and then rut and fuck between your two fleshy thighs. He loves how this slip easily with his precum, how you're red, ashamed that he's using you like a doll but turned on at the same time because he looks like Apollon standing over your small frame. Well, even if you're not small he makes you feel like you are. When he's done fucking you like a desperate animal, he 100% cum on those thighs and take a pic afterward if you agree of course consent is sexy (he has DOZENS of cum-covered-thighs pics)

And if you're NOT in the mood it's fine you can just cuddle, we love and support understanding and cuddly bf/gf here.

Yup, Wooyoung can be an ass man or tits man but at the end of the day he's your thighs man. Does that make sense ? No ? Concluding by haunting you. You know how I'm stating that Wooyoung would kill for those thighs ? Imagine his reactions when he saw you with garter belt...

#weak in the legs #she’s my girl uwu #ateez smut #wooyoung smut #ateez hard hours #golden’s sharing (ateez)

[goldenchunkycat]

Free use with San ;)

I'm sorry but free use with San ? Boi yes. And when you don't expect it, because else it's not funny >:)

Quick example. Free use means that you can be in the shower, trying to take a nice and warm shower landing your own business when suddenly he comes and fuck you dumb without a word, without asking, giving you the best orgasms ever until he has to hold you. But he's not done with you !! Oh, no, he HAS to hold your limp body and carry you, press your tits against the tiles as he lands a slap on your ass. Tight grip on your jaw, keeping your mouth open so he can put his fingers in.

Free use means that you are in the kitchen washing the dishes when San comes and bend you over the counter, gripping you by the hair while thrusting into you, hitting it from the back, the sound of your skin slapping against each other filling the room. Free use because that boy is needy so even tho he acts like a bad guy, he would definitely whimper moan and curse in a high pitch tone, voice trailing off as he's saying nonsense because he's pussy drunk.

Free use with San would imply fucking in the bathroom of an ice cream shop. Don't ask me why '-' Dude would bring you to the bathroom and lower your short or pants or simply push your panties aside as he's shoving his fat dick in your warm and welcoming hole without prep. He's careful tho and watch for any reaction, ready to put a stop to everything if you're hurt or really uncomfortable. But if you're not, he does not care if anyone hears anything, you're so pliant and nice to him, that's the only thing that matters. He would nip on your earlobe and muffle his moans in your neck, his grip so tight that when you would check hours after you would see bruises all over your thighs. A lot of ass and tits groping. Someone's waiting outside ? He's not done with you. You offered your body to him so easily, he can't let go of it anymore. He wold definitely cum inside and asks you to keep it until you come back home. Loves seeing you squirm and squeeze your legs when you're walking in the mall, it makes him feel powerful ;)

Free use when he's watching a show in the living room and you're laying in bed and he suddenly thinks that he wants need your pretty mouth wrapped around his cock. Getting up and coming straight to your room without even turning off the tv, taking off your clothes while you're looking at him, clueless, when he suddenly lowers his pants and ask you while breathing heavily to open that pretty mouth of yours and suck the life outta him. You don't complain because he's your boy and you just wanna please him. It doesn't matter if you were in the middle of an online course, you can turn the camera and mic off and put your hands around his length, stroke it and lick it like it's your favorite popsicle >< Free use means that he doesn't ask you if he can push you on your back and put his dick between your breast, watching in awe as your saliva spread on his dick allows him to thrust rapidly enough, but not too much so you can still lick the tip of cock every time he's going upward. Messy and sloppy titty-fuck, coming on your tongue as you stuck it out, and then deepthroating to cure his depression <3 He cleans you up and hug you before going back to his drama in the living room.

#golden's sharing (ateez) #san smut #ateez smut

[goldenchunkycat]

Kinda feel like a lot of authors are normalising or romanticising toxic relationships. It’s fine writing about it but don’t forget to put it in the warnings ! An angry boyfriend fcking you dumb because he’s jealous might seems cool on the paper but I can assure you that it isn’t in real life and, not trynna be annoying I swear, it triggers me.

Thank you <3

#stray kids hard hours #ateez hard hours #enhypen hard hours #x reader

[goldenchunkycat]

You will not have to suffer anymore, Moonbin, may you Rest In Peace.

Hope you’ll be the brightest star up here 🌟

#moonbin

[goldenchunkycat]

My dog just ate some rat poison feels like dying right now with the bill ಠ_ಠ

#golden’s playing

[goldenchunkycat]

Hum sorry but Nikola Lantsov is such a good charismatic and pretty personnage and I loooove pirates (oups, privateer) //-// Now you know I’m dirty minded so here I go….

Context ! Imagine being a Grisha whose power allow you to control air, travelling with the Sun Summoner and the Sun Summoner’s guest and being the Sun Summoner’s other guest. At first, Nikolai would only see you as a guest, just a plus, another person on his ship, but things happen and you end up saving his boat from a big storm with a windshield or something like that. NOW you’ve caught his interest. We’re you always so pretty ? So smart ? Oh, he did not notice you were on the dock so often. Yup, dude just caught feelings out of nowhere (I kinda feel like he would be attracted to someone who’s strong and capable). But being a young valuable match he’s quite full of himself. But yeah, you just for fall him too, your heart decided that he would be the one. You guys just play mouse and cat for an awfully long time and to be honest everyone has had enough of this sexual tension between the two of you :] You moor in a small remote costal town in order to take a break and get fresh supplies for the sailors and everything change. Sexual tension goes POUF and you end up in a motel room with him.

Just like I said before, man is full of himself. Sex with cocky person can be quite a handful. He would smirk and brush your skin with the tips of his fingers, making you fidgeting under his amused gaze. He loves seeing the strong Grisha who managed to save them from a storm crumble under his touch. Kinda feel like he’s a receiver, so he would lay on the bed, hands behind his head, and ask you to suck his fat dick with a smirk, as if he was challenging you. You try your best but you can’t fit everything into your small and warm mouth >~< He does not say anything but he laughs, forcing you to take more and more of him, stroking your hair while praising you between two groans. That lazy man would definitely let you ride him. Still laying like a King in the bed, he would gently but firmly hold your hips while your bouncing on his dick with teary eyes //-// Don’t dare stopping because he will not help you out. You wanna cum ? You need to deserve it. Come on, bounce. He does not care if you’re saying nonsense, trying to get a grip on his sweaty and glistening chest. He likes you dumb ♡ Cumming on your tummy and holding you close to his chest. You did not cum ? Well, wait until your next session it will be all about you >:)

The lack of S&B ff is concerning…

#shadow and bone #nikola lantsov #nikola lantsov x reader #nikola lantsov smut #shadow and bone smut #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagine

[goldenchunkycat]

Public sex with Minho, like literally.

When you said you wanted to try a kink of yours, which is public sex, you didn’t expected Minho to REALLY do it. Dude gotta be top tier, he’ll take none of your ‘sex in a classroom’ or ‘sex in a changing room’ and consider it as public sex… You wanted public sex ? He’ll give you what you want !

Sex in the train (the one where you’re sitting for 2h), late at night when there’s only few people in the wagon. Making sure no one’s looking at you, he’ll grunt in your ear while making you bounce on his dick, your dress or skirt in his grip, muffling your sound with his hand when you whimpers are too loud //_// Cleaning your wet face with his sleeve, praising you while degrading you at the same time because even if he knows that you’re not really into degradation, he loves seeing your tears rolling down your eyes eheh It’s even better when the two of you lock eye with a random people who’s looking at you being perv in the train because he can feel your tiny cunt sucking him in harder and taking him deeper >~< what a filthy babygirl you are >:)

Sex in the back of the car when people are sleeping is also a must ! He would gently hold your hair while your giving him a blowjob *side eye* He couldn’t wait until the next stop, he was HARD and you were just next to him, so who’s preventing you from deepthroating him (or him deepthroating you ? Idk) ? Jisung who happens to be just between the two of you ? No he’s sleeping and didn’t even realise you were bending on his laps to take his friend’s heavy and thick dick in your warm mouth //-// maybe Chan saw you in the rearview mirror, maybe…

#stray kids smut #stray kids hard hours #stray kids hard thoughts #minho x reader #minho smut #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #golden’s brain is loading

[goldenchunkycat]

side eyes and blush

Temperature play with Shoto <3

Shoto being all shy and nervous when having sex with you for the first time X( He really love you and don't want to deceive you y'know ? He would be so nervous that his quirk would be like 'weeeee' His fingers getting cold while being inside you, making you squirm and try to get away from his touch, but dw he got you~ warm hand running all over your body, playing with your nipples, his face hidden in your neck as he can't help himself but rut against then sheet cuz he just can't control his body and ur so cute underneath him, taking his fingers so well without complaining about their coldness ><

He would press kisses all over your body, slowly trailing down. to lick at your fold like a hungry dog and needy boy, he just want a taste ! Tongue flickering between hot and cold, making you feel like your heading to heaven and then suddenly falling in the warmth of hell... His hands holding your thighs, preventing you from wiggling under his care, he can't have you get away from him and prevent him from drinking your juices

Shoto would be concerned at his lack of control over his quirk when it comes to sex, but you would reassure him and praise him, he really take care of you~ You both both ignore the way his let side just almost burst into flames after his dick penetrate your warm and tiny cunt, the way part of his futon would be burnt or frozen. He would avidly kiss you, trying to be as close possible as you and you would just sight out of pure pleasure, one of your nipple being warm and the other cold , you really like it <3 his dick's temperature would change inside of your body and drive you crazy, he kinda feel bad when you're about to come because of the warmth but then suddenly it's cold and you cry because the sudden coldness just put a stop to ur orgasm but he just likes it when you're dumb for his cock, his quirk, going all 'ah~ h-hot... cold !'

Temperature play with Shoto isn't an option or a kink, he just can't help himself and you like it that way <3

#mha smut #shoto smut #shoto x reader #golden's sharing (mha)

[goldenchunkycat]

The way she looks at me you | Update

Okayyyy. So...I'm currently writing Twslay Chapter 3 but I did not expected it to be so dark ? I'm so sorry TT Like, it was supposed to be a happy story with happy people who fall in love but instead it's a not-so-happy story with people who learn to love each other while accepting their traumas...

Soooo, yeah, if you think that Chap 1/2 were dark you're definitely not going to like Chap 3... Just raising awareness. I'm gonna update the Warnings for the story (check it out it's important). I swear things will get better and hot and mushy, just trying to build a character and not just a Reader whose only purpose is to have a harem.

P.S: I'm not satisfied with my current (writing style) so I kinda changed it. I'm exploring new things so it will probably weird you out when you'll read Chap 3 :')

#the way she looks at you #golden's playing

[goldenchunkycat]

Clearing some things, I don’t write:

- cheating (big nono)

- degradation (like heavy, the one which make me feels like I wanna cry)

- for the moment femdom!reader

- alcohol/drugs

Open to EVERY other things, so ask away :)

#enhypen x reader #atwow x reader #stray kids x reader #ateez x reader #mha x reader #enhypen smut #atwow smut #stray kids smut #ateez smut #mha smut

[goldenchunkycat]

Goldeeeen how you doin ?!!! Is your doggo fine ?

Ok first of all A mother’s love was sooooo great I’m respectfully asking for another part 😮‍💨

Second, waited for Twslay chap 2, it was long but totally worth it. Neteyam is kind of a piece of- welp can’t wait to see how that bully to lovers gonna turns out 🤭 (kinda waiting for the dirt too and Lo’ak NEED to be the first like pls get me a friend like him)

Last but not least I’d like to make a request ! The toxic thing is such a good idea lol Since I don’t know what "patterns of disrespect" is I’d like to see what you’ll come up with. With Sunghoon from Enhypen pleaaaase

Have a great day lovely person, ily and your writings soooo much 🫠

-👁👄👁

Hello~ I'm good, my baby too, thank you for asking ♡

I'm glad you liked A mother's love ! I might do another part, not sure though since I'm working on other things ?

Twslay ? Like The way she looks at you ? Kinda like it eheh YEAH NETEYAM IS A MEANIE :( But don't worry he'll get a taste of his own medicine soon eheh

You can find your request here, I hope you'll like it ♡

Thank you for your message, have a nice day and take care of yourself ♡

#golden's playing #player: 👁👄👁

[goldenchunkycat]

There’s not enough Shoto smut out there sorry not sorry TT But temperature play with him ? Ugh

a blessing, not a curse

Here’s a little Shoto blurb i wrote this morning hehe: 

Shoto always thought his quirk was a curse. He had never considered the uses for it other than using it as a hero. Sure, he’s warmed up a coffee or cooled down a room in the heat of summer, but he never considered the uses until you. 

To be fair, very fair, which he often isn’t to himself, he was a virgin before he met you. He had never considered making himself colder or hotter while he was inside you, or making his fingers colder or warmer. But he found out you love it and now he’ll never stop. 

“Sh-Shoto-” you whimper his name, hands tugging at his hair, “Ah-!" 

"Shhh, my love,” he leans back and nips at your thigh, “they’ll hear.." 

"H-How am I supposed to stay quiet when you're… you’re..” your hands fly away from his hair and grip at the sides of the couch. You’re in Momo’s basement, the reunion party she planned is still going strong a floor above you. 

“When I’m..?” Shoto asks. You clench down around his fingers with a gasp when he makes them colder. It sends a thrill right through him. 

“Th-that! Oh god, Shoto, oh god,” your thighs shake as you start to cum and Shoto presses them open roughly to put his mouth back on your clit. 

You pulse around his fingers and you slap your hand over your mouth to muffle your cries. 

“Oh, my love,” Shoto moans, watching you shake as he pulls his fingers free. He presses a kiss to your thigh as you try to catch your breath. 

“Let’s go,” you mumble, gripping at his shirt to pull him towards you, wrap your legs around his waist and pull him in to kiss him. You break apart panting, grinding against him. “Take me home.” 

“Yeah- Yes, I will. Let’s go home.” Shoto breaks away from you, slowly, and you stand on slightly shaking legs to fix your skirt. 

#shoto todoroki x reader #shoto todoroki smut #my hero academia #golden’s sharing (mha)

[goldenchunkycat]

I still love him (Do I ?)

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Pairing: Sunghoon x Reader

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Summary: Patterns of disrespect in a relationship.

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Warnings:

- ANGST: Toxic relationship, Sunghoon does not respect reader feelings or privacy, swear word like once. ___ A/N: I do not romanticize toxic relationships. Please, love, be loved, and respect your other significant ♡

"Miss, would you like to order ?"

"Sorry, I did not- Just a few more minutes please..."

"Of course, I'll be back in a few minutes."

She was polite, smiling, kind, and obviously pitying me. I was pitying myself too. I have been sitting here, on this bench, for an hour now. At first, I was just thinking that he was a bit late. Nothing too unusual, I was used to it. But it wasn't pissing me off, since I have been late to some of our dates too. But minutes after, I came the horrid conclusion that he was not going to come. Maybe he forgot, maybe he had a busy schedule. He was an idol, I knew what to expect from him. But...it still hurts.

"Excuse me !"

"Yes Ma'am ? Would you like to order ?"

"Yes. I'll take a hot chocolate with a muffin please. Cheesecake and strawberry, please."

"Okay ! I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Thank you."

At least that random person was kind, otherwise I would be crying in the middle of this cute coffee shop, looking at the picture that Sunghoon posted on his private Instagram account. Yeah. He really was busy.

"I told you a hundred time that I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you."

"You look very sorry when you roll your eyes."

"I'm in idol ! I have a schedule, deadlines, expectations, people are looking up to me, I can't deceive them !"

It hurts. His words are like gunshots, tearing me appart, shattering my heart and crushing the last pieces of it.

"Do,'t you think that I have a life too ? I may not be famous like you, but I'm working too ! I literally lied to my employer to be able to go on this date with you because you said it was your only day off of the month. But you made me wait and make a fool of myself in that coffee shop !"

"Look, I really gotta go, we'll talk about this later, okay ?"

And he hung up on me. Because Sunghoon was like this. He was always late, disregarding of my free time, and never here to discuss things that matters. Well, it matters to me, but what about him ? But it's fine, I'm the one who picked him, I fell in love with him and I still love him.

"What is it ? Tell me !"

"No, it's a surprise."

I giggled at his words, holding his hand close to my heart. I hate whenever I act like this, smiling big, giggling like a lovesick girl. But that's what I was. A lovesick girl. And Sunghoon a good boyfriend who keeps his words. When I woke up this morning, he sent me a text, saying that he was going to take me on a date. So dressed nice, just for him. He just came to pick me up in a jogging and a white shirt. It was fine, as long as he felt comfortable in whatever he was wearing.

"Okay, you can open your eyes."

Oh.

"Oh- Oh ! Sunghoon, thank you so much, it's...very nice."

"What's with the face, don't you like it ?"

He gave me the look. The disappointed one. The one who made me feel like a bad girlfriend who was never happy and very much ungrateful.

"I really like it, babe. But you know that I'm allergic to cats, right..?"

I just wanted him to tell me that he just forgot, that he could take me elsewhere. But he just gave me the other look. The 'duh' one. The one who made me feel like I was dumb, like we weren't on the same page.

"I know. I just really wanted to come here. And since it's my day off I wanted to take you on a date too. Thought that you could do some efforts."

Efforts. There's no 'efforts' that I can make, because if I come in there I'm gonna be sick for a whole week. Don't you realize that it can injure me severely ? If you did not forgot then why did you bring me here ? Don't you care about my health, for my safety ?

Those are the words that I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. I wanted to yell and throw a tantrum, to be the selfish one for once. To look at him like he looked at me. But did not uttered a word. I just smiled and followed him in the coffee. Because Sunghoon was like this, he was selfish and did not gave two buck about my safety if he could enjoy himself. But it's fine, I'm the one who picked him, I fell in love with him and I still love him.

"I'm here."

"Finally."

"Sorry, had to do something on the way here."

Are you ? Didn't you just showed up two hours late ? Didn't you made me eat our dinner alone when you promised that you would come tonight ?

"I'm changing, don't come in the bedroom !"

"I have to take your charger, like, right now."

"Yeah, but you can wait a few minutes."

"No."

Just as I was changing my underwear, he barged into my bedroom, looking at me briefly before walking beside me to take my charger who was on my bed.

"Sunghoon, what the fuck ?"

"Oh, come on it's fine, I'm your boyfriend."

I felt like throwing up and crying while running at marathon. I wanted to kick him out of my apartment to teach him that no, it was not fine, even if he was my boyfriend. But I remained silent, eyes wide ,shocked at his demeanor.

"Get out !"

He plopped on the bed, laughing and winking at me, getting himself comfortable while ignoring my pleas.

"Please, get out of my bedroom, Sunghoon..."

He shrugged and plugged his phone. I hated the fact that I had to took my clothes and go change into my bathroom. I hated that when I looked at my reflection, the only thing that I saw was tears filling up my eyes, rosy cheeks because of the embarrassment and self-consciousness that was coursing through my body. I hated the fact that he was indifferent. Because Sunghoon was like this, disrespectful of my mental and physical privacy. But it's fine, I'm the one who picked him, I fell in love with him and I still love him.

"But it's pretty ! You would look stunning in this dress."

"I said no, Sunghoon, I'm not wearing this dress, I don't like. I'd rather wear something in my closet."

He put the dress down and sighed. He was sulking. At some point in our relationship it was fun and cute. How he would avoid eye contact, sigh when I'm talking at him or just straight up ignoring me. But seems like it wasn't now because...

"I'm sorry, Sunghoon. Look, I can tel you why I don't wanna wear it, huh ? I'm very grateful for the gift though."

Because it was just rude. It was making me sick, anxious, stressed. It was making me question myself. Should I have wear that dress, even if I hated it ? Was I too capricious ? And when I wanted to talk to him about my feelings, like the adults that we were, he was just giving me the silent treatment, disregarding my feelings.

"I'm sorry..."

Why was I sorry ? Because Sunghoon was like this ? Selfish, uncaring, a liar, disrespectful ? But it's fine, I'm the one who picked him, I fell in love with him and I still love him, do I ?

Masterlist | Requests ?

#enhypen #enhypen drabbles #sunghoon #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon angst #enhypen angst #sunghoon x you #welcome to the blood altar

[goldenchunkycat]

The way she looks at me you | Chapter 2

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Pairing: Neteyam x Ao'nung x Na'vi!Reader x Lo'ak

___

Chapter Warnings:

- ANGST (bullying (both verbally and kind of physically), anxiety attack, xenophobia, Lo'ak in an ungrateful brother, Neteyam is a meany) - FLUFF (just a bit, Kiri Lo'ak and Reader being crackhead, jokes ?, Lo'ak is a really good friend)

- BAD ENGLIIIISH (not proof read, feel free to correct me if you want to)

___

A/N: The song that Neytiri sang at Neteyam's funeral is on Youtube, at this point I'm just torturing myself. Anyway, reblog are appreciated and comments even more ♡♡

___

Previous chapter | Series' Masterlist | Masterlist

The next day, you and the Sullys woke up, exhausted but relieved to have slept in a real bed - even though you had shared yours with Kiri, which neither of you minded. Jake gave you his speech about respecting their traditions and people, and had especially looked at Lo'ak when he told you to behave - which made you discreetly laugh. So you and the siblings were on the road to the beach, ready to take your first steps into a completely new world, different from what you knew.

"I hope you drown." Kiri said playfully to her brother, nudging his shoulder to annoy him.

"If it's after you I don't care."

As you watched the two idiots make a scene in front of you while holding Tuk's hand, you couldn't help but laugh at their ridiculous insults. They may not be related by blood but they sure acted like they were. Sometimes it really fascinated you and you couldn't look away from their whining, secretly choosing a side to support.

"Don't you feel hot ?"

Neteyam's voice snapped you out of your analysis, causing you to jump and almost stumble headlong into the sand. Like a deer caught in the headlights, you almost broke your neck as you turned your gaze to his handsome face that was smiling at your nonsenses. It was cute.

"No- I'm fine. I'm really good." you repeated, not knowing what else to say to ease his concerns.

Doubtful, he looked at your getup, skeptical before reaching for the strange top you were wearing that covered your entire upper body.

"I've always seen you in that but never questioned it, since that's what father's friend wears too. But I can't help but think it must be uncomfortable, isn't it?"

"No. I'm used to it. But I'm not used to wearing your clothes. I feel…exposed ?"

Neteyam did not understand what you meant by 'exposed'. Which was quite understandable since he had grown up seeing women and men wearing nothing by your standards. His own clothes, as well as those of all the Na'vis, only covered their private parts. So seeing you show up on a beach in a baggy t-shirt and cargo pants that looked way too big for you was one of the reasons why Neteyam would never consider you his sister, unlike Tuk. You were just too different.

Shrugging, he did not question your choice of words and continued on his way by your side, sometimes asking you questions such as 'did you sleep well ?' or 'what do you think of this place ?', or interfering in the passionate discussions Tuk was having with you. So, even though the walk was not that long, you had the impression that it lasted only a few seconds. For the second time, in a short period of time, you had talked to your crush and said more than two sentences. Maybe this new place was going to work out for you after all.

"Look at them, they're worse than babies." 

"Can't even stay three minutes underwater."

No, you were wrong, you were going to hate this place. Eywa, you already hated it. When you arrived on the beach, almost panting from the heat since you were used to the coolness of the lab, the two boys from yesterday and the pretty girl were waiting for you, half sunk into the water. While she had welcomed you warmly, her brother, if you had understood correctly what Lo'ak had told you last night with passionate insults, had only rolled his eyes. You were sure you had heard him mocking the Sully's and were selfishly glad to have gone under the radar. But you couldn't stay invisible for long.

"You ! What are you doing on the shore ?" the boy with the bun had called you in a scathing voice, drawing everyone's attention to you. "You think that you're too good to learn our way ?"

"Ao'nung !" his sister chided him, a frown on her face. Slowly, she swam until she was within reach of you and started a conversation with you, surely trying to make you feel comfortable. "Hi, my name is Tsireya, I'm sorry my brother can be a skxawng sometimes. Why don't you come with us ?"

You blushed and looked at her pretty face, then at her hand that was extended to you, urging you to take it and join her into the water.

Snapping out of your trance, you shook your head at full speed, moving away from the waves that licked the sand beneath your feet. "Maybe later… Thanks."

"Fine. We'll wait, don't worry. If you need help you can call me, I'll be right there."

You blushed again but did not answered. Eywa, she was so nice and pretty. Did you sounded rude ? But from what little you saw, she seemed to be understanding, the opposite of her brother, who you knew was looking at you with a nasty look from where he was standing. You couldn't hear what he was saying, but from his friend's laugh and Lo'ak's look you were sure you did not want to know.

So, from a distance, you watched them practicing diving underwater. They did not move or swim, they just tried to see their current predisposition. Not surprisingly, Lo'ak and Tuk were the first to get their heads out of the water to take a deep breath. Always, when they did so, Lo'ak would turn to you to see if you were still watching them. When he saw you laughing at him, which you always did, he would make faces at you before being called to order, which made you laugh even more.

Sometimes Neteyam would pop his head out of the water. In those moments you felt like you were going to explode because of how hot your face was. But you could blame it on the heat, couldn't you ? On the other hand, you could not look away from the spectacle that was offered to you every time he emerged from the waves. His skin glistening, his eyes shining, his hair dripping with sea water. He really was a sight. Fortunately, he did not see you scrutinizing him like the Nantangs scrutinized their prey. At least you thought so, because Neteyam did notice the way you looked away whenever he caught you looking at him. He did not mind though, he loved the attention…

As for Kiri, you could not help but feel amazed and impressed when she was the last one out of the water. No matter what she did, she always succeeded, whether it was her Ikniyama, something as complicated as healing, and now freediving. Part of you knew you should not feel this way since she was your best friend but you could not help but feel…jealous. She was different from you in so many ways and was proving it once again right here. Even away from home, she seemed to be a genius and learned faster than anyone else. And you could only watch from afar, sitting on the edge of this beach, insecure.

The morning had gone by quite quickly and it was soon enough time to eat. One by one, the Sully came out of the water, soaked, exhausted, out of breath, but above all hungry. Immediately, Lo'ak walked towards you and, sensing the stupidity coming, you got up at full speed, trying to escape the mischievous boy. Nothing on his face gave away his intentions, not even a smile. But you knew. You knew him so well.

Obviously you were not quick enough, because in one swift move Lo'ak had jumped on your back, throwing you both to the ground. And, to your dismay, he was soaked.

"Get off of me moron!" you yelled, trying as best as you could to escape from his wet arms as he took great pleasure in soaking your clothes with sea water.

"Why should we be the only one who are wet huh ?" he said in a defying tone, muffling your protests by putting his hand on your mouth. Unfortunately fro him, you were a quick thinker.

"Ah ! That's disgusting !" he cried out and took his hand away from your mouth at the wet sensation on his palm.

You grinned and laughed out loud, not caring about being soaked anymore. His face was priceless. The kind of 'bitch what the fuck' face. It really was a 'Lo'ak thing' to do. Rolling her eyes at your childish games, Kiri took the matter into her own hands by grabbing her brother tail and pulling on it until he let you go. And all of this under the three Metkayina's eyes. Neteyam was embarrassed. He took his little sister hand and walked away from the scene, acting like he did not know you.

"Fish."

"Yes, it's the local dietary regime." Neytiri said, putting a big plate in the middle of the circle that you all were forming as you were sitting on the ground. "There's not much meat around here, unless you go in the forest behind the village. But apparently, it's dangerous."

"What can be more dangerous than Palulukan ?" Lo'ak scoffed before eating a piece of fish.

"We're trying to fit in, so just eat your fish and stop complaining." Jake said as he too took a piece of fish from the wooden plate. "Don't make this harder than it already is."

"Yes sir."

Silence reigned for most of the meal, everyone lost in their own thoughts, or simply focusing on their meal. When no one was looking at you, you and Lo'ak exchanged glances full of meaning. After years of being around each other, you had managed to create a language of your own, one that even Kiri found difficult to understand at times. Sometimes it only took a glance for you to understand what the other wanted. It was a habit that you had taken to avoid Lo'ak being reprimanded by his father for having breathed a little too loudly.

Sensing the tension in the atmosphere, Jake cleared his throat and moved awkwardly in his seat, speaking up.

"So… What did you guys do this morning ?"

"We practiced breath-hold diving for as long as we could." Neteyam replied with a nonchalant shrug. He knew the subject was going to be brought up and their father wanted to know about their progress.

"So what ? Are you doing okay ?"

"Yes. Me and Kiri lasted the longest." Neteyam replied without missing a beat, proud of his completions. Obviously, his father had to know about it.

"And Lo'ak also did very well for a first time !" you interjected, hoping to get your friend out of a situation that was already starting to look bad. "It's normal to have some difficulties when trying something new-" your voice got smaller and smaller as Jake looked you in the eyes, surely looking for the lie in your voice. But he couldn't find one, because even though Lo'ak's performance was not as good as his siblings', in your eyes he was doing really well. "…right ?" you squealed, looking down.

"Yes. As long as you're trying. But don't stagnate, tomorrow I want to hear that you made great progresses." he said, pointing his finger at his youngest son, who didn't look up once in his direction. Jake turned his attention to you and asked, "What about you ?"

"She did just fine." Lo'ak interrupted, looking into your eyes as yours widened at his lie. Out of the corner of your eyes you saw Tuk holding back the words that wanted to come out of her mouth while Kiri and Neteyam froze. All the Sully children knew that you had not even approached the water. But they all continued with their meal, deciding that it was better for you to avoid Jake's disappointment. Neteyam and Lo'ak were used to it, Kiri had never been reprimanded, nor Tuk. But they knew that if you, of all people, was reprimanded by Jake, it would mean loud cries and heavy heart for the rest of the day. If they all knew something about you, it was that you were… well, fragile.

Lo'ak gave you an 'I-got-you' look and you slightly nodded back, smiling and resuming eating your fish as Kiri engaged a conversation with her mother about her morning.

"Gotta go back swimming." Lo'ak complained when his father disappeared behind a Marui, annoyed at the thought of spending time with those weird blue Na'vis again. He could not stand them, even more after he heard them talk about you this morning. They were disgustingly disrespectful, just because your tail was fluffy and your clothes not like theirs. 

"I did not said that to save your ass, you really did good this morning." you said in a soft voice while playfully pushing him with your shoulder.

He pushed you away from him and muttered "You're embarrassing." Since the light was bright around you, you missed the way his freckles started to glow.

"Stop being babygirl material." the English words left your mouth before you could even think about it and you freckles glowed as you stopped in your tracks.

"What the- What does that even mean ?" he said, genuinely curious at the new expression. He was used to some English words and turn of phrase that you used but this one was a new one. He was pretty good at remembering the insults.

"Hum. It's like- I don't how to explain it." you shrugged, going back to walking, Lo'ak following behind you while rolling his eyes.

"If you don't know what that means don't use it."

"I know what that means !" you said, put out, " I just don't know how to explain it..."

"Then don't use it."

"Oh hush."

Soon enough you all arrived on the same beach as this morning and, to your dismay, you were feeling hotter than before. The ambient temperature was making your skin glistening with your sweat and your shirt was almost sticking to your body. You really hated it, here. You really should have stayed with Norm, in the labs, enjoying his company while experimenting on new things. 

"You're coming ?" Kiri asked, side hugging you.

Well, whatever, you were going to be fine. You just needed to make some efforts to fit in. Your gaze wandered over your surroundings, and you saw Neteyam and Tuk diving into the water, Tsireya floating a bit farther away.

Something felt off but you could not pinpoint what it was.

"Hum. Yeah ? I guess than I can try..."

"I got you." Lo'ak said, his hand hovering over your back in case you needed help. He could tell that you were not feeling comfortable and that for some reasons you did not wanted to go in the water. But it was fine, he was just behind you, it would not let you get hurt on uncomfortable.

"As always." you chuckled nervously, trying to ease the wariness inside of your head that was preventing you from stepping into the water. "Don't let me drown. Hold me tight."

"It will depend on you."

"Ahah you're so funny."

"Come on we don't have all day !" Tuk complained, unhappy that she could not yet have fun in the water because of how slow you were.

Why would you do this to yourself when you could just sit quietly on the beach while watching them swim and have fun ?

"Come on crybaby." Lo'ak rolled his eyes, trying to push you further into the water. But you planted your feet on the sand, resisting and not budging. Frowning at your resistance, he tried another way. Encircling your hips with his arms, he carried you in order to walk further into the water. You squealed and tried to resist, immediately clinging to him once you realized that him letting you go would mean that you would end up in the cold water.

"Don't you dare putting me down or walking further into the water ! My tail is sensitive, more than yours, it's very cold." you said, putting the emphasis on 'very'. And it was true. Despite not knowing were you came from, you still knew quite some things about your body. And one thing that you learn quick enough was that your tail was really sensitive. As if each hair on it was just some kind of ultra sensitive sensor. 

"No my tail is sensitive." You heard someone make fun of you and the minute after your body and your head were immersed into the water, your clothes and your tail soaked. As if that was not enough, since you were holding into Lo'ak's neck, said boy fell on top of you, crushing you under his weight in the short time he had been off balance. Your mouth opened in shock and you swallowed water, coughing up bubbles. Before you could panic unnecessarily since you could still touch the bottom, Lo'ak pulled you to the surface.

You coughed and spat out the water that had entered your lungs, not feeling as hot as you did before. As you caught your breath, slumped against your friend's chest, you heard laughter a few feet away. Now you knew what was off. Tsireya's brother and his friend were not here when you arrived. They were missing. And now you understood why.

"Look at their faces !"

"Whoops, my bad. You do not belong in the water, children of the forest, especially you, human-freak."

You did not look up, your eyes round and your breath short, still shocked by what had just transpired. You felt like you were making a big deal out of nothing, but you could not just ignore what had just happened since your mind and thoughts were too messy. Being pushed into the water had affected you, sure, but what had caused you to be so shaken up was the violence of the actions and words you had just been victims of. Did they hate you that much ?

"I'm going to fucking kill them…" you heard Lo'ak mutter. He tightened his grip on your waist before pulling your body away from his, gently handling you to his sister whose mouth was wide open, shocked by the events. Striding in their direction, he pushed Ao'nung violently once he was within arms reach. "What's your fucking problem ?!"

Before the situation could get any worse, Neteyam, who had been watching from afar what had just happened, swam as quickly as possible to hold back his brother. "Lo'ak ! Stop it !"

"No ! I'm not stopping anything, you saw what he did to us-"

"It's fine !" Neteyam grabbed his brother's shoulder, dragging him away from the boys who were making fun of you just before his eyes. Lo'ak, in disbelief, quickly turned around to look at his brother, ready to protest, but he was interrupted once again.

"Look, nobody's hurt. There's no need to make a big deal out of it. Just...let it slide okay ?"

Now Lo'ak was shocked by his brother's reaction. It's true that he did not return your feelings and had no reason to defend you, but it was more than that. It was a matter of pride. Did he not even consider you a friend ? Or even his siblings' best friend ?

"You're kidding me right ?"

"..."

"Wow, you reached a whole new level of dickhead. And you're supposed to watch over us ? Don't make me laugh."

Lo'ak swam back to you, guiding your shivering form to the shore with Kiri's help. And as if the whole afternoon was not bad enough, Jake and the chief of the village showed up on the beach,  probably to examine the progress you had made. You could not fight here, in front of the chief of the Metkayina's but above all in front of Jake. And Ao'nung definitely knew that because he was laughing out loud at Lo'ak's face, acting like you all were good friends.

"Everything's good here ?" Jake asked, looking between the three of you and the others in the water.

"Yes." Ao'nung answered, smiling big.

"Such a sxkawng..."

"Lo'ak !" Jake yelled, having clearly heard Lo'ak's insult. "Behave and go back to training."

She looked at you, worried, not knowing if she should return to you to help you or give in to her father's wishes.

Lo'ak rolled his eyes and stayed on the beach next to you as Kiri was slowly going back into the water. She looked at you, worried, not knowing if she should return to you to help you or give in to her father's wishes. You nodded in order to reassure her, silently telling her that you were going to be fine. Unfortunately, you knew that you could not just stand on the beach when Jake was standing a few feet away from you. Especially not after lying to him during lunch break.

"Don't do it if you don't want to..." your friend whispered to you, trying to be discreet enough to not be heard by his father.

"I don't have any choice, he's watching us." you whispered back, frowning as you made your way towards the sea, watching fearfully the water submerge your body little by little. You almost lost your balance when your tail, who got heavier due to the water, sank into the wave. It wasn't like the Omatikayan's or Metkayinan's tails. Yours was obviously not fitting into the water. At least the Sully's tail was slender. But yours was heavy. You were not used to feel that amount of heaviness on your back.

"Don't worry, I got you." Fortunately, Lo'ak prevented you from falling - once again, by holding your waist, trying to make you stand up straight. At least in front of his father. He did not wanted you to be reprimanded by him, it would suck. 

"Great. Good work, see you tonight." Jake nodded, satisfied, and left after Tonowari, leaving you all silent into the water. You carefully in Lo'ak's waited until As soon as he was out of sight, you hurried up to the shore, tripping, head low, embarrassed upon hearing the mocking laughter of the two Metkayina's boys.

You really hated this place.

Your tail took hours to dry. You tried to absorb the water with a weird towel that Tsireya, the nice sister, gave you, but it only helped a little. Because when it dried, oh Eywa, you wanted to cry. Your once beautiful shaggy and soft tail that you took care of was full of knots, everywhere. 

And now you were really crying. Neytiri and Kiri was trying to remove the knots with wooden brushes and comb and it hurt. It hurt like hell. While you were just suffering, Lo'ak was kind enough to turn his head away from you when the need to laugh was too strong, but overall he was just looking at you with a blank a face. You knew for a fact that he was thinking about how he could get back to them. A 'Lo'ak thing' to do. Or maybe he was just trying to show some sympathy - which he obviously could not do.

While looking at him, a weird feeling suddenly flooded your body. You felt...hot. Strangely, you had the impression that you could still feel the lingering sensation of his body against yours. His breath on the top of your head and his warm, comforting embrace. When did he become so muscular, so 'adult looking' ? Eywa, he was your friend. You best friend. Just a friend. You shook your head and slapped your cheeks to get your mind out of the gutter. But the Kiri and her mother could tell that something was troubling you sine your tail was wagging between their hands, preventing them from helping you out with it.

As you were still crying your eyes out, overwhelmed, whining whenever Lo'ak was humming 'crybaby', Neteyam walked inside the Marui. He scanned the room with his eyes, his gaze landing on your glowing freckles and glistening face. Smiling, he made his way toward you, but was quickly stopped by a hand on his shoulder, gripping him firmly and preventing him from going further.

"We need to talk." 

You all stopped what you were doing to look at the duo in the middle of the room, sensing the air get tense. The look on Lo'ak's face did not bode well. Or maybe it was just his 'bitch resting face'. In any case, Neteyam seemed just as surprised as you and simply looked at him, silently questioning his intentions. But Lo'ak did not answered nor budge, he only tightened his grip around his brother's shoulder and insisted, narrowing his eyes.

"Right now."

Lo'ak did not wait for his brother's response and dragged him out of the tent by force, leaving you, girls, wondering about what just happened. Neytiri was used to them going away to discuss 'private' things.

"Boys." Kiri huffed, resuming her previous actions by carefully stroking your wiggling tail. You yelped as Neytiri simply shrugged at the boys antics, going back to brushing your tail, trying to untangle a particularly strong knot.

"Stay put."

Oh Eywa, you were going to spend your night here, tortured by their unmerciful hands.

"I think that I already told you to go and talk to her." Lo'ak said to his brother once they were far enough from the Marui, frowning, angry.

"About what ? Are you getting worked up because of what happened this afternoon ?"

"I don't give a fuck about what happened this afternoon. Just wait and see. I'm talking about her feelings for you. You think that just because we moved you can start to talk to her, acting like a charming prince ? Do you have feelings for her ? Do you even consider her like a friend ?"

HIssing, Neteyam shoved his brother's shoulder, pushing him away from him. He did not look happy; his ears were pinned to his head and he was baring his teeth, a low growl emitting from his chest.

"Don't tell me what to do."

"Oh so you're angry at me when I'm speaking the truth but don't react when those sxkawng basically attack us ?"

"I'm trying to protect you ! I'm supposed to watch over you, not her !" Neteyam hissed again, shoving his brother's chest with his finger at every words he said. "You can't go and fight for a girl when we are supposed to fit in and not cause any troubles !"

"A girl ? Huh, a girl." Lo'ak shook his head, obviously disappointed with his brother before nodding, shrugging his shoulders and taking a few steps back, hands in the air, as if giving up. His expression darkened and it was his turn to poke his brothers chest with his finger. "If I see you smile at her, laugh with her, let her think that something's possible between you two, I'm going to punch you in the face. I don't care that you are my brother, or a mighty warrior, I don't care if afterward you beat me to pulp or if mom and dad reprimand me. Stay. Away. From her."

Neteyam ran his hand through his hair and laughed, incredulous and annoyed at his little brother's ridiculous behavior. He could not wrap his head around the idea that his brother was willing to fight with him over some enamored girl who could not see that he was obviously not interested in her. "Just for a girl ?"

"That girl spent more time with me than you did. She protected me physically and verbally more than you did. So yeah, I would do that for a girl."

As Neteyam was, out of pure rage, about to tell Lo'ak what he really thought about you, tell him things which would definitely broke your heart if you heard them and start a fight between him and his brother, a voice interrupted them.

"Boys ? What's going on." 

They kept silent, only looking at each other with their ears still pinned to their heads, their eyes shining with unsaid things. Lo'ak was the first one to step back. "Nothing sir." He respectfully greeted his father and headed back to their Marui.

"Neteyam ?"

"Nothing... How was your day ?" 

The eclipse had darkened the sky for a while now and the whole village was asleep, the light of the torches extinguished by the strong night winds coming right from the ocean. Looking around you and once you were sure that everyone was asleep, you got up and got out of the bed, being careful not to wake Kiri. Tiptoeing out of the Marui, bouncing on the net under your feet and laughing softly, you headed for the beach.

You could not continue to be a burden to the family that had taken you in and brought you with them. Tonight, despite the reassuring words of Kiri and Tuk, you could not even look at Jake in the eyes, let alone in his direction. You were so ashamed that you had to continue lying when you did not even dare to step into the water since your mishap. Not to mention the fact that your crush had seen the whole thing unfold. He had seen you come out of the water soaked to the skin, with your tail between your legs. You must have looked pathetic. But you were determined to change. So you thought that, maybe, you could start by desensitizing your tail to the coldness of the water and try to find your balance, even when it seemed to have doubled in weight.

Once on the beach, you walked with long, determined strides toward the waves that stretched across the sand before stopping at a reasonable distance.

"You can do it."

Taking a deep breath, you slowly approached the water, putting both feet in and trying to dip the tip of your tail. But instead you jumped and took two steps back. The water was freezing. Even more so than during the day.

"It's fine. It's gonna help."

You stepped forward again, ignoring the tremor in your hands and the sweat that was starting to run down your back.

You can't do it. 

"I can do it."

Your thoughts were no longer clear and, even if you tried, you could not ignore that voice in your head. The world seemed to be spinning around you and a vice was compressing your chest, preventing you from breathing properly.

You can't do it.

"I- I can't do it." you stuttered, stumbling back and falling on the cold sand. Clenching your fist around the rough little minerals, you tried to clear your mind and make the void inside your head.

What a sight, you were pitiful. Every time you tried something new you would fail, destroy, deceive. No wonder Neteyam would never like you. You could not even step into the water. Intrusive thoughts were running in your head, making you feel like you were just incompetent. You were failing to see the beauty around you. The glowing fish and shining stars, bioluminescent flowers and corals. You were selfish, pessimist, close-minded, useless, weren't you ?

It was not unusual for you to feel like this. Like you were not in control of your own body, like someone was just talking inside your head and make fun of your failures. It started when you were young. You would hide under the desk in the labs or at the Avatar's sleeping quarters, breathing heavily and crying. But every time, he was there for you. He was holding your hand, hugging your side.

"Breath in, breath out."

The memory of Spider was as clear as the water in front of you. HIs laugh, is smile, his weird habits and clothes. Spider. Spider. Brother.

But no one was here to hold you or tell you sweet words. Not anymore. You were supported by your friends and yet, you still felt like you were alone. Fighting your demons alone, in your head. Just like you were on this beach. Without anyone around you. No sound, no warmth. 

You tried, you really tried. Maybe not hard enough. But you knew that tonight, once again, you would fall asleep with a burning sensation in your eyes and an excruciating headache. You would wake up, the next day, smiley, pretending like nothing ever happened. Like you were not drowning in self-pity every night, getting closer to a bottomless abyss.

"Eywa, please, protect him."

Your Ikran landed just before you, nudging you, gently demanding you to stroke him. You smiled through your tears and hugged him, bathing in his warmth. He, at least, was not going to give up on you. He would stay by your side, forever.

Taglist: @soxfix / @pwallettes / @arminsgfloll / @dazecrea / @annamarieisbae / @mabdxs-omfg / @nao-cchi / @tiddieshakeshownu / @hellokittiesxbae / @yeosxxx / @neteyamo / @itszzmoon / @todod0kii / @almighty-raiden-shogunate / @dakotali / @findingourtreasure / @ayanies / @kachowness / @b0rednb1tchy / @sushibatebue / @artologia-blog1 / @purplepursepaint / @official-witch-of-night / @swagiores

#atwow #atwow x reader #neteyam x reader #ao'nung x reader #lo'ak x reader #atwow angst #neteyam angst #lo'ak angst #ao'nung angst #atwow fanfiction #you landed on pandora #the way she looks at you

[goldenchunkycat]

me respectfully waiting for the way she looks at you part 2 :))

PROUD TO SAY THAT IT WILL FINALLY BE POSTED TOMORROW (if nothing weird or bad happens)

I've received so much support for this story I can't believe it. Lot of people are sticking up to my weird fancy (hum poly hum) so I'm kind of ashamed to post it that late. But hey, I DID IT.

Me respectfully sending you lot of kisses and hugs ♡

#golden's playing #player: anon