haystack4854

[haystack4854]

I just ate noodles with monster energy poured in with the boiling water and dipped several carrots in it. I now know god personally.

#fyp

[haystack4854]

My mother greeted me with a N*zi salute, then said that her german heritage was 'coming out'.

#how do I reply to this? #wtf

[haystack4854]

This is my 13th reason.

Who though this was a good idea

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #ao3 #ao3 fic #wtf #this person needs to be crucified??? #HELLO???

[haystack4854]

Am I about to get a 'coolness in translations' lesson from a fucking twink?

#wtf have i done

[haystack4854]

I will now be pulling my purple jorts up so high I get camel toe because my legs are sunburnt and I don't want my clothes to touch it

#wtf #sunburn #jorts #jean shorts #christ what has life come to

[haystack4854]

My neighbour usually comes over for dinner and my mother was talking to her about random shit and then all of the sudden asks "Do you think your son watches porn?"😨😨

She then followed it up by talking about walking into my brother room and asking if he was watching porn?? And he said "only at night"????

#sobbing screaming throwing up #wtf #naur #pls 😭😭😭 #crying #why would she say that??? #out of nowhere too

[haystack4854]

My brother has assulted me because "no one wears jeans to bed". Why is he so offended?

#???

[haystack4854]

My mothers partner just said he thinks the way the word piss "rolls off my tounge" is nice???

#pls 😭😭😭 #i am fearing for my life #wtf #help

[haystack4854]

So, my name is being put forward by academic higher ups for a scholarship worth $25,000???

WHAT DID I DO IM A DUMBASS HOW???

#HUH? #wtf #scholarship #pls 😭😭😭 #my mother is so proud #but huh???? #thanks but what??? #like 😭😭😭 #im sure some people would be ecstatic rn but im a lazy bitch #💀 #school #not complaining but like-

[haystack4854]

WHY IS VICE PRINCIPAL FROM MY SCHOOL IN MY HOUSE??

#HE HAS A CHILD WITH MY COUSIN #(the child is a heathen) #like wtf #pls 😭😭😭 #MY MUM CALLED ME DOWN WHILE I HAD WET HAIR FROM A SHOWER AND HE WAS JUST THERE? #💀💀💀

[haystack4854]

My mother just called me MEAT-MIXER???

Wtf😭

#wtf #“Meat mixer”. #NAH #💀💀💀

[haystack4854]

I was eating dinner with my family and then, OUT OF NO WHERE???

Me: "Isnt a quole a type of bird?"

My stupid aaah brother: "No, that's a rat. Your talking about a queer"

WHAT?

#also my mother said Chris Hemsworth is her favorite native Australian animal?? #i just wanted to talk about Australian animals #damn #pls 😭😭😭

[haystack4854]

My mother just identified a mark on the toilet door and said i did it because "you have cute toes". ..?

W H A T ?

#mother #wtf #i was so confused #what the actual fuck #it wasn't even me idfk what she was on about

[haystack4854]

Forgot what puss is called earlier so i called it "internal injury cream" FML💀

#forgot the name #why am i like this #im going to kms #wtf #pls 😭😭😭

[haystack4854]

I just want one normal school day. ONE. But that cant happen apparently.

I just sat through 4 and a half hours of 9/11 jokes by my friend who also likes to joke about school shootings, child labor and the black death. I am so done.

#friend #literally wtf #school #dark jokes #weird ass of mine

[haystack4854]

SOMEONE HELP ME I JUST ACCIDENTALLY SENT THE WRONG PERSON A TEXT THAT SAID "Hey room temperature milk🤗💕" IM GOING TO KMS

#wrong number #aaaaaa #help oh my god #he judged me so hard

[haystack4854]

So my family just peer pressured me to eat vegemite mixed with tomato sauce. Straight. WHO WAS GOING TO TELL ME ITS KINDA GOOD?

#weird ass shit #its good tho #food #im going straight to hell #no way im redeeming this one #they acted like i commited a crime