helperhoopoe

[helperhoopoe]

TL;DR:

rsd/rejection sensitive dysphoria is not a diagnosis. 

it’s not a symptom of adhd.

some dude made it up.

being very sensitive to rejection can happen to anyone. 

since adhd can involve emotional dysregulation, it can be especially hard for people with adhd.

being very sensitive to rejection is a result of trauma relating to rejection.

this means it can be treated. you don’t have to live with it. you can get better!

rsd is not a condition. rsd is not a diagnosis. rsd is not a medically recognized symptom of adhd and the experience “rsd” describes is not exclusive to adhd at all. this does not mean people with adhd can’t experience rejection sensitivity, but “rsd” as an “adhd” thing is a concept with no emprical backing developed by one man, with claims of it being brain-based without any evidence behind that claim, as well as many other claims surrounding the “nature” of rsd. adhd is a condition characterized by executive dysfunction, which can involve emotional dysregulation, but acknowledging that is different from the framework of “rsd” and seeing people on this site pass this around without critical thought and even claiming rsd is “adhd only >:(” makes me sick. you’re buying into what’s basically pop psychology instead of scientific research.

emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity is by no means adhd exclusive, and people with adhd experiencing those things doesn’t need to have its own special label or whatever when there’s no meaningful difference between someone with adhd experiencing those things and someone without adhd experiencing those things. that’s not logical and a ridiculous mentality of “rsd is adhd ONLY because our rejection sensitivity is SPECIAL” completely goes against building common ground with other neurodivergent people for petty and invalid reasons.

the amount of misinfo going around about adhd on this site is uncanny. please investigate claims others make about disability and do your research - actual research, which doesn’t include tumblr posts that lack citation and oft unreliable sources like ADDitude Mag and WebMD. it would be INFINITELY more productive to operate on a shared experience of emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity among varying groups of neurodivergent people than to feed into this nonsensical idea of “adhd-only special super rejection sensitivity.”

#adhd #rsd

[helperhoopoe]

natural voice change

Lower

Boom Your Voice

How to deepen your voice naturally

How to talk with a deeper voice 

How to deepen your voice (pre-t) Voice masculinization

Vocal androgyny in speech and singing

This Phone App Helps Transgender Users Change The Pitch And Tone Of Their Voices (buzzfeed article) 

Higher

Voice Feminization

Pitch, range, resonance, depth

How to develop a female voice

Feminine voice techniques         

#trans #lgbt+

[helperhoopoe]

hello! i’m ken, a gay trans man out of work and unable to go back due to disability and covid. i’ve applied for SSI but have no idea of when i’ll be receiving it and in the meantime i have to pay already late rent plus all other expenses of living, most immediate being food. i can pay none of this bc my bank acct is already in the red. 

if anyone has anything to spare, i need At Least 20 USD to get out of that hole, and then $344 to pay for at least my rent and utilities, probably more as part of that will be spent buying food as i have nearly nothing to eat right now. anything you can spare would make a huge difference! if you can’t, rbing this does a lot to help too. thank you

paypal.me/KennethScoggin

cashapp.me/$sunflowerhouse

#please help my friend!

[helperhoopoe]

its important to me as a detrans woman to be vocal about it. its important to me as a detrans women who initially only had radfems to talk to about detransition, because i couldnt find a single trans inclusive detrans person for over a year, to make sure other people know they have options.

radfems arent your aly if you're questioning your gender. they dont have your best interest at heart. they dont care about helping you explore who you are, theyre only interested in sucking you in to be another transmisogynistic pawn for their violent ideology.

if you're trans/nonbinary now, but are wondering if it isnt right for you, know that you have options. you can talk to me. there are people who have not done a 180 into bigotry who are here to support you.

please reblog, do not just like, this post.

i dont have a large platform. i want this to get spread. i want to remove terfs from the forefront of detrans/reidentification awareness & support. they cannot continue to be the first contact for questioning people.

i am begging you, yes you personally, to please reblog this, and comment or reply in the tags if you're a safe, trans-inclusive detransitioned or reidentified person to approach.

#terf mention #detransitioning is cool and normal and questioning your gender is good for you #you go op i wish you the best!!!

[helperhoopoe]

don’t give up on compliments altogether just because you’re struggling with this right now! it’s a behaviour, and like any behaviour you can change it with a bit of effort. it can be tricky since you need to start noticing when you’re doing this and correcting yourself when you do, but it’s very much achievable! anyone can do it, and it’ll really help you. i believe in you!

learning how not to fish for compliments can really help how you interact with others. here’s some common phrases i’ve noticed:

“here’s my shitty art”

“lol i’m so ugly in this selfie”

“you’re so creative. i’m nowhere near as creative as you”

“your writing is amazing! i wish mine was that good”

what all of these have in common is that they all involve putting yourself down. when you do that, those around you feel obligated to compliment you, which can make them feel frustrated that they have to just to be polite. not only that, but by talking yourself down you feel worse about yourself. the latter two phrases also centre your problems, distracting the attention from the person you’re trying to compliment. that often makes them feel bad!

here’s how to fix those phrases:

“here’s my art”

“selfie time!”

“you’re so creative. how do you do it?”

“your writing is amazing! do you have any tips?”

by cutting out the negativity, you make it so nobody feels obligated to compliment you. you’ll usually get more compliments this way because people don’t feel uncomfortable! the latter two phrases now also centre the artist and their knowledge. not only do they make the artist feel good, they also might score you some good advice.

this strategy will also help to boost your confidence in the long run. if you stop prefacing every compliment with negativity, you’ll be able to internalise them better.

[helperhoopoe]

if you’re a mentally ill adult, especially if you’re psychotic or have bipolar, i highly recommend you look into getting a psychiatric advance directive. basically they’re a form you can fill out where you can specify what kind of treatment you want and don’t want in the case that you ever get legally declared incompetent. normally, getting declared incompetent means that psychiatrists take away your right to make decisions about your mental health care. for example, they can force you to take medications you don’t want or institutionalize you longterm without your consent. also the state appoints someone they choose to legally “consent” in your place.

what a psychiatric advance directive does is put limits on what the psychiatrists assigned to you can do. you can appoint your own person to be your legal representative, someone you trust who knows you and cares about you. you can also specify what hospitals you don’t want to be sent to or what doctors you don’t want to see or medications you don’t want to take or whether or not you consent to electroconvulsive treatment. you can also say what you do want, like i put down that they decided to institutionalize me, i wanted it to be at a specific psych ward i’d already been to and had a not terrible time at. and now, if i ever get declared incompetent, psychiatrists are legally not allowed to put me back on the meds that gave me a seizure. 

nobody wants to be legally declared incompetent. it’s really scary to think about, but it does happen, especially to people with psychosis or bipolar disorder. it’s better to have legal safeguards in place ahead of time and not need them than to get declared incompetent and not have an advance directive

#medical abuse mention

[helperhoopoe]

i am doing commissions !

hi! do you want to see some characters in low-poly 3D? i can make that!

i’ve recently moved out and while my little found family is fairly stable, we’re all unemployed and disabled so it’d be good to start getting some income.

please have a look at my carrd for details! i can’t post the link due to tumblr’s restrictions.

hoopoedoes3d dot carrd dot co

spreading this post would help me very much. thank you all!

#commissions #3d #low poly #art

[helperhoopoe]

PEOPLE WITH ADHD WHO HAVE ONLINE CLASS I HAVE JUST DISCOVERED A BREAKTHROUGH IN FOCUSING TECHNOLOGY:

This extension lets you doodle on any webpage just like you would doodle on a piece of paper in class to focus. I just added it to my chrome and it’s been a godsend. I watched an 11 minute video on LDAP servers without getting distracted once! I don’t know if other browsers offer this specific app as an extension but I know for sure it’s offered through chrome. I hope this helps other people as much as it’s helped me!

#adhd #school #tools

[helperhoopoe]

i have never met an unpsychotic person who knows what it actually means to “not encourage the delusion” …not a single one

#psychosis #delusions

[helperhoopoe]

Yo real quick it is perfectly possible and OKAY for people with NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) to want and have healthy relationships.

Contrary to popular belief, NPD doesn't inherently turn someone into a "master manipulator" or an abuser. NPD is a disorder created by trauma. Traumatized people are not inherently threatening.

If someone is abusive, that doesn't mean they have NPD.

If someone has NPD, that doesn't mean they're abusive.

If any of my followers (or others who see this) have NPD, you are not a bad person for wanting healthy relationships.

#the responses to that addition to the guilt tripping post i made the other day got me real cranky so reminder: #npd is literally just a collection of symptoms #not Evilness Disease #npd #personality disorders #abuse

[helperhoopoe]

dc and american mutuals/followers, if you’re anxious and stressed due to the current situation, here are a few mental health and checkpoint carrds!

https://checkpoint.carrd.co/

https://comfortpack.carrd.co/

https://mentalhealthhelpsite.carrd.co/

https://mhresources.carrd.co/

feel free to add more links!

#comfort #resources

[helperhoopoe]

@ all trans people about to attend online school:

This will visually remove your deadname from any webpage. Obviously switch it off if your parents wanna check up on your work, but yee here's the link fam!!!! BOOST THIS!!! SEND THIS TO ANY TRANS PERSON YOU KNOW WHO WILL NEED THIS

#transgender #school #lgbt+

[helperhoopoe]

just to like, emphasise, there is no “disease that makes you evil”. bpd, npd, aspd, whatever the hell else you might think forces people to hurt others (no, “psychopath” and “sociopath” aren’t diagnoses) - it just doesn’t work that way. symptoms can be scary and difficult to manage. you might have to puzzle out kindness in neuro-atypical ways. but the way your brain makes you feel and the way you choose to act are two completely separate things. you can always make that choice. every person has control over their own actions.

if you’re cruel, it’s because you made the decision to be cruel. if you’re kind, it’s because you made the decision to be kind. every day you make that decision again - and if you make the wrong choice today, you can make a better one tomorrow.

goodness is a decision, not a string of dna.

#i don't remember what my talking tag even was on this blog

[helperhoopoe]

i would be very surprised if there’s any neurotypicals in this reblog chain - the only “we” that exists here includes all of us. you can always help it. there’s no such thing as “illness that makes you incapable of not hurting others”. it can be hard to manage your symptoms - i don’t like the harsh tone i adopted for this op anymore - but you can always try, i promise.

remember to cry for help without guilt-tripping. i know it feels like you’ve been abandoned and betrayed, but it’s probably not true, and it’s not okay to accuse the people around you of something they might not have done.

“i guess none of you like me” could be better phrased as “i feel unloved right now”

“but nobody cares anyway” could be better phrased as “i feel insignificant and i need reassurance”

rather than assuming others’ feelings, give them time to explain them. you’ll usually get a much better answer.

#guilt tripping #manipulation

[helperhoopoe]

@punkinspice seems to have got the two mixed up - type A trauma is the one caused by things such as neglect, and type B is caused by traumatic events. here’s a good article on it: https://www.teenrehab.org/resources/helping-your-teen/type-a-type-b-trauma/

(contains a picture of the aftermath of a car accident, a cheesy stock photo depicting vague domestic violence, and naturally mentions of other events that cause and result from trauma).

there’s plenty more articles on google if you just search up the terms.

a lot of children - especially mentally ill children - end up traumatized not because someone was specifically hurting them but because their needs weren’t being met, or because their problems weren’t being seen, or because they were rendered particularly vulnerable by other aspects of their identity, like queerness or race. 

and it can be hard to look at your childhood and go “I was hurt” and also know that the hurt wasn’t deliberate. it’s uniquely painful to not have someone to blame. 

you do not have to excuse the people who hurt you, even if it was unintentional. & acknowledging your own pain does not necessarily entail blaming them for it.

you are allowed to do what you need to do in order to recover. 

#trauma #abuse #neglect #q word #i didn't know there was a distinction though so this is really good information!

[helperhoopoe]

hi again everyone!

i’m looking for a place to stay for another person who needs to escape abuse. they’ll have a place in about a year and need somewhere (if necessary, multiple somewheres) to hole up until then. they currently live in decatur, georgia, usa. if you live a bit further away we can work out travel fees. they won’t be able to pay board, but will be able to help around the house.

message me over on @everyone-needs-a-hoopoe for more details, or please spread this if you can’t. thank you!

[helperhoopoe]

hi again everyone!

i’m looking for a place to stay for another person who needs to escape abuse. they’ll have a place in about a year and need somewhere (if necessary, multiple somewheres) to hole up until then. they currently live in decatur, georgia, usa. if you live a bit further away we can work out travel fees. they won’t be able to pay board, but will be able to help around the house.

message me over on @everyone-needs-a-hoopoe for more details, or please spread this if you can’t. thank you!

#still looking!