koiimori

[koiimori]

Aromanticism Is Valid - Respect Aromantic People

This shouldn’t be a hot take, but aromantic people deserve just as much respect as asexual people. There is an abundance of positivity and awareness for asexuality (as there should be), but there seems to be a lack of information about the misconceptions around aromanticism.

What is Aromanticism

Not feeling romantic attraction.

Aromantic Misconceptions

“Aromantics are Anti-Romance”

Aromantic people have nothing against romance itself, they just don’t feel romantic attraction themselves. Many Aromantic people consume media with romantic themes and enjoy romantic stories.

“Aromantics are cold and heartless”

Aromantic people have just as many emotions as anyone else. Aromantics can form deep, loving, long lasting relationships in the form of platonic love and other forms of close relationships.

“Aromantics just fear commitment”

Aromanticism isn’t caused by a fear of commitment, and thinking that an aromantic person is just scared of relationships invalidates their identity.

“You haven’t found the right person yet”

This argument is also used to invalidate asexuality, and other sexualities, but in fact, aromantic people aren’t standing still waiting for someone to pull them along into the world of romance.

“Aromantics hate hugging, kissing, and affection in general”

Physical affection does not always have to be romantic. Some aromantic people love affection, and others don’t. Just like people who do feel romantic attraction, preferences on affection vary by person and are a personal matter that doesn’t have to do with romance inherently.

“Aromantics are traumatized”

Trauma is not the cause of aromanticism. Though some aromantics can be traumatized, and some people chose to not participate in romantic relationships after a traumatic event; this does not mean that trauma is the cause of aromanticism.

“Aromantics are all sex crazed”

Some aromantics enjoy sexual relationships and participate in them without romantic attraction. This does not make them “sex crazed” or “dirty”. Some aromantics are also asexual. Aromantic people can participate in the kind of relationships that make them comfortable.

“Aromantics can be ‘fixed’”

Aromantic people are not broken, so there is nothing to fix. Respect aromantics.

If you are aromantic

You are great

Your identity is valid

Don’t let anyone disrespect you.

#aro positivity #aromantic #aromanticism #discourse #aroace #asexual

[koiimori]

⚠️Trigger Warning: Sexual Content; Talk Of R*pe, Incest, and Trauma⚠️

Trauma Kinks Are Valid; Let People Cope

To understand the concept of trauma kinks, you have to understand what trauma is and what it does to the brain, as well as how kinks and taboo sexual activity can effect that.

A truamatic event can effect people in many horrible ways, and for different lengths of time for different people. Childhood trauma can especially leave someone with severe mental illnesses, and unorthodox ways of coping with it.

Some people who have trauma (especially sexual trauma) can find a healthy way to cope with their warped mental state and/or mental illness and emotions brought on by trauma in kink/Bdsm. Bdsm specializing in power exchange, can be a way for people to healthily act out their intrusive fantasies and thoughts.

Usually, people in kink communities are generally okay with this. Until people with trauma use what I call “trauma kinks” to cope. These kinks include incest play, consensual non-consensual/CNC (Rape play), age play, and more.

Obviously incest and rape are horrible things. And what needs to be understood is that the people who use these kinks for coping with trauma understand this. They in no way condone these actions anywhere outside of a sexual roleplay setting between two consenting (non-related) adults. And a majority of the time, the specific situation they’re role playing happened to them in their own traumatic past.

Now, you may be asking, “if it happened to you and traumatized you, why would you roleplay it and relive it again?” The answer to this question varies from person to person.

Some do this because their trauma happened in a way that conditioned them to enjoy it that way, and maybe only that way. Some do it because they felt as thought they lost a part of themselves or their control during that event, and being able to have control in the situation through consent, safewords, and being with a trusting partner helps them cope with the trauma they felt.

Please, before judging someone for their trauma kink, as horrible as the real life basis may be, think about the person. This is a legitimate way of coping and sometimes is even recommended by therapist for the purpose of coping with sexual trauma. These people do not condone the actions they’re roleplaying, and wouldn’t participate in these roleplays non-consentually.

I completely understand not wanting to see this type of kink on oublic platforms like twitter, who has a big kink community. But there are ways to keep yourself away from this type of content. Unless someone is crosstagging or being a general bad person about where their content is and who can see it, the block button is right there.

But don’t judge traumatized people for what they do in their own bed. So, if you see someone mentioning their rape kink and how it helps them cope. Before you say “get help” try to understand that this is them getting help. Doing their own thing, with a consenting person, and coping. You don’t have to expose yourself to this content, the block button is right there.

#tw sex mention #tw sex assault #trauma #coping #coping mechanism

[koiimori]

The American Criminal Justice System And Police Force Are Inherently Currupt; But Not Every Officer Is.

In America the criminal justice system and police force were built on systematic racism. It is a fact that the criminal justice system inherently puts African American and other Poc (People of color) at a disadvantage compared to white people. The country itself is built on the backs and blood of Poc.

Because of the inherent corruption, the system works against Poc and with police officers that take advantage of their position of power. It’s easier for police brutality to be swept under the rug, and officers to get away with horrible things. It was especially easier before the rise of the BLM (Black Lives Matter) movement and demand for change.

I do not believe every single police officer in America is currupt. I have had nothing but bad interactions with the few police officers I’ve come into contact with in my life. I do not have any family in the police force. Yet, I still believe not every officer and not every white officer is currupt.

Some may argue that you can’t be a “good” cop because even being part of the system supports the injustices within it. But I think there are many parts of the criminal justice system that contain people (not enough people, but people) who are working to better the system from the inside. I personally don’t think that’s an effective way because of how deep the curruption runs into our government, but these people are not bad for making an effort and trying.

At the end of the day, I believe not every officer is currupt, but the system more than definitely is.

#discourse #acab #antiacab #poc #blm #black lives matter

[koiimori]

Being A Minority Does Not Excuse Being A Bad Person.

Being a minority does not excuse being prejudice and discriminatory. A lot of times in minority communities people will feel that their own minority status gives them the right to be a bad person towards other groups of people.

Your race does not excuse your sexism.

Your lgbt identity does not excuse your racism.

Your gender does not excuse your homo/transphobia.

Your minority identity does not ever exuse being a horrible person.

And as a member of the minority group, it’s important for us to hold our community accountable when things like this happen.

As an example* It’s important for gay men to acknowledge the racism in gay men spaces. And hold other gay men accountable when they notice the casual Anti-Asian/Anti-Black rhetoric that sometimes goes on within these spaces.

This is just one example of many. But, as to not solely call out the gay men community. There is also the racism and lgbt-phobia within the black community; the sexism within the feminist movement; even the lgbt-phobia within the lgbt community.

Being a minority does not excuse being prejudice and discriminatory.

#lgbt #lgbt discourse #transphobia #homophobia #sexism #racism #discourse #hot take

[koiimori]

Making Fun of Straight/Cis People Isn’t Funny. It’s Harmful.

As fulfilling as it may feel to make jabs at cishets in a similar manner that homo/transphobes make fun of lgbt people, it’s important to remember to regulate how much and what you say.

Making a huge part of your online identity revolve around hating Cishets is harmful. Not only are many cishets allys and supporters to the lgbt community, but young cishet people can be on the receiving end of the hate.

While jokes are fine and dandy, lots of young cishet teens and preteens can start to feel ashamed of their identity when at the backend of jokes like; “Imagine being cishet in 2020” “Fuck cishets. Ur all homo/transphobes” “cishets k*ll urself challenge”

This can lead cishet youths to question their sexuality and gender in the wrong ways. And it can also lead them into communities like MOGAI where they can cover their fear and shame of their gender/sexuality with micro-labels and made up identities. If this sounds familiar it’s because lots of lgbt youth feel the same way with their own discover of their gender/sexuality when faced with the same type of “jokes” engrained into our society; instead masking their lgbt identity with a cishet one.

At the end of the day, making fun of cishet people simply for being cishet can be harmful to cishet youths. While they don’t face oppression like lgbt youth, it’s a common thing to see cishet youths hiding their identity under invalid and/or incorrect labels as a way to be differentiated from their “inherently trans/homophobic” cishet peers.

I’m not saying not to make jokes. But be aware of who your audience is and how harsh what you’re saying may really be.

-Huni

#lgbt #lgbt discourse #cishet #dicourse