ohbewan

[ohbewan]

“I’ve got this tiny pang of regret when I think of how much I have probably missed out on in the last few years because I was too scared to take a risk, or too shy to speak up, or too worried to be bold.”

— Jessi Kirby, Golden

[ohbewan]

"I'm not lazy, I'm just tired. and I don't mean because I've been working hard. Not at all. I'm tired from forcing myself to get out of bed everyday. I'm tired of distracting myself from the thoughts in my brain. I'm tired because all my energy is put to surviving and people don't understand that because all they see is how unproductive you are."

— depression is a disease and it's tiring

[ohbewan]

I’m jealous of those who can function like a normal human being. They don’t have anxiety holding them back from everything, they don’t struggle to get out of bed or have to put on an act that everything is fine when its not. They don’t struggle to hold friendships and relationships… they don’t feel sad for no fucking reason everyday. Those that can hold jobs and work towards their dreams, the ones who have self esteem and see the beauty in themselves. Those that know what its like to feel safe and secure, not insecure and fearful of it all. 

[ohbewan]

My mind is an endless stream of thoughts.

Worries, concerns, mistakes made, people lost, things not done, what if scenarios, thinking back to situations or conversations and playing them over in my head to see if I said anything wrong throughout the day, future worries, past regrets, and so many other things flowing through my mind in the run of a day.

Its a continuous, never ending battle with my own brain, and that tends to get messy, confusing, and depressing. Not just for me, but for people around me.

I understand it's difficult to comprehend what's going through my head, and why I get so worked up about certain things,

But it's also difficult to be misunderstood without any effort of trying to understand.

Its hard living in my head, with the thoughts that I have. Its hard wanting things a certain way, but failing to make that certain way happen due to the lack of motivation from being so overwhelmed, and concerned about a bunch of small things, then being told, "you're being ridiculous, you can't complain if you don't do anything about it"

But in my head, I have tried. And it hurts to think either my efforts aren't being appreciated and noticed, or I'm not trying as hard as I should be and im uncertain how to take steps to do better in my current situation.

It hurts to be misunderstood and insulted just because my brain thinks differently.

I start to question myself-

Am I being silly? Ridiculous? Childish? Am I over reacting?

Is me being this way going to scare people off and cause people to not want to be around me? Or am I just being misunderstood and ilI just need to learn to communicate better and educate others on what im going through? It feels like Its a constant back and forth between believing what people say, and trusting my own thoughts, which I'm not sure of either.

#anxious #misunderstood #understanding #anxienty #anxiety #depression #sad #upset #worried #help

[ohbewan]

Wanna be the woman of his dreams, while being the woman of my dreams.

[ohbewan]

I'm safe when I'm beside you,

All of the stress of life fades away,

All of the worries of loneliness leaves for awhile,

All of the changes suddenly don't feel so unbearable,

Because you make me feel safe. And wanted. And protected. You make me feel as if, as long as you're here, I'm never going through things alone.

Thank you for blessing me with your presence, it's more than I could ever ask or hope for, yet I've been graced with it. I love you more than I could ever begin to explain. My heart is with you every single day❤

#doggo #animals #dogs of tumblr #doglover #dogslife #dog photos #dogmom #dogs #vizslasofinstagram #vizslaoftheday #golden #babyboy #spilled thoughts #thoughts #i love you