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#understanding

As if that door between the two of us wasn’t locked.

 I step into the room and my heart beats like I’m falling without knowing when I’ll be back on the ground. 

Feel your eyes on me. See you for the first time and now understand.

 There is no tingling and no strong feeling other than understanding.

 We understand each other and understanding is not love.

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I think the yearly spotify wrapped makes us forget how much data spotify takes from us and how the app is just another app looking for money. Like it puts up how much of our listening preferences it knows about and how much time we spent on something and instead of us being horrified at how we dont have that privacy in listening to music which is a personal experience we are made to be delighted and excited about it and that is a very very smart technique. Cause we are now more likely to give up more of our data for a more personalised experience.

Spotify also has a shit ton of ads if you dont pay for it, and sometimes you get a ‘watch this ad and get ad free listening for awhile’ ad which is a weird thing you know its watch ads for no ads. But what it does is create a kinda positive experience for those ads and/or makes you feel like ads are a necessary part that cant be taken away. And this is all just a part in taking your data and understanding your ad preferences and selling or forcing you ads. And with spotify being tied to instagram with sharing storys and the music lyrics stuff and with instagram being a part of the facebook whatsapp group you dont have any ounce of online privacy(and lets not forget the CA data scandal now that- especially now that all these apps are tied together). Spotify is just another corporation spying on you.

My parents were talking about when they were young the part of the experience of going to a movie theater was the advertising, and they went early for those ads and would feel bad about missing them cause that was an essential part of going to a movie. And think about it tho the 80s had a spike in marketing budgets around everywhere and 90s were a period where you could see everything change in the way advertising was thought about and the amount of same products but in different brands grew. There was no need for it but they created a want a want for all these new things and people started becoming markets or ventures for the business world. Amul is probably a good example about the impact of advertising and more importantly subtle political advertising, and vico turmeric or complan are a good way to understand fun being associated with advertisements. Even if you dont buy the product they managed to create a friendly feel about them, people seemed to forget that these are just products or companies trying to sell stuff.

Its a little different now but the idea is the same, when you look at brand twitter accounts that interact with people share memes you create this idea of them and it doesn’t matter if you go and buy that product or think its the best brand but as long as you have a postive idea about any brand you have been affected. Like the new thing is with people making jokes about the intern that manages the social media for so and so brand we create this whole thing where we acknowledge the company but are made more okay with these people selling us these gimmicks. And its not one person behind companies’ social media pages, they hire psychologists and sociologists to market these accounts based on whats going.

But again to movie theaters people went for the experience paid again and agian for it but were never able to own it. Thats where theatres and streaming services merge they charge so much but actually give so little. Why do you guys think cds and cassettes disappeared so quickly they were there for a decade or two and went. Theaters have been able to last so long cause they create this feeling that we are missing something by not going there but when you get a cd of a movie you can watch it forever probably and if you download it you dont even waste space, but those things are not as profitable as theaters or streaming services- and its easier to copy cds or cassettes or share files through phones and these things makes it easier for  more people to enjoy music and movies for free. Like Spotify netflix and amazon you have to pay monthly or yearly but you can never have it forever or watch it whenever - you need wifi you need this phone or that tv or you create different acounts instead of sharing cause of personalised recommendations getting messed up. And all these services keep your data which includes your age your location your isp your likes your dislikes your moods your email which has alot more to give about you and they say they dont keep your banking details but its just a word, and they use this stuff to market new things or keeps it to do god knows what

And im not saying dont enjoy your spotify wrapped, im going to share it too, its interesting its fun and thats the point isnt it thats the scary part. We cant just ignore these things tho, capitalism doesn’t become fun for one day cause it shows you how much it holds of you in bright colours and funky music

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from ‘The Little Prince’

“In those days, I didn’t understand anything. I should have judged her according to her actions, not her words. She perfumed my planet and lit up my life. I should never have run away! I ought to have realized the tenderness underlying her silly pretensions. Flowers are so contradictory! But I was too young to know how to love her.”

[Antoine de Saint-Exupéry]

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Would someone please give Aquarius the WORDS…

Drives me insane that you people are so caught up on bullshit politics when the whole idea is to Get Along…

Why don’t you figure out why Leo Lies about everything and loves Drama…

Or why Virgo speaks in Visuals…

Or Libra is fascinated with beautiful things… and maybe it’s connected to them being a know it all…

Or why Scorpio is such a pervert… which, without perverted thinking, I doubt we would have found our way out of the cave…

Or why Sagittarius acts like an uncontrollable Mouth…

Or why Capricorn is just a walking Opinion… of course the years change up quite a bit… the Mountain Years are fascinating…

Or Pisces is such a control freak… and shakes when they see someone who IS a piece of shit…

Or Aries starts punching when they lose an argument

Or why someone won’t take Taurus’ iPhone away before they get anymore stupid…

Or why Gemini has to be Right all the time… freak! And if you are a Gemini Born in the Rooster… you are the only Gemini that is wrong, by the way…

Or why Cancer has to protect someone… get a dictionary! Cancer’s vocabulary is going straight to shit… their understanding of the language is completely off and it has become misdirected… Cancer is King Kong, no doubt but On The Loose

But No… I have to do every god damn thing…

Focus people… the iPhone has destroyed the Language!

The Zodiac is the language that will prevail… Zoology 101

Articulate what you SEE… Over and Over!

Then you will SEE what you SAY!

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Peter Taylor
I think trying to write is a religious exercise. You are trying to understand life, and you can only get the illusion of doing it fully by writing. That is, it’s the only way I can come to understand things fully. When I create, when I put my own mark on something and form it, I begin to know the whole truth about it, how it was put together. Then you can begin to change things around. You know all this after you have written a lot. You really know. And it has become the most important thing in your life. It has nothing to do with craft, or even art, in a way. It is making sense of life. It is coming to understand yourself.
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“How is it that you can stand in my shadow and tell me the truth, yet do it with so much warmth and compassion in your heart??”

Could you possibly love me that much?? If you do, I will love you into 60 years of brunch.. - eUë

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What is Life?

What is life? As I sit here, you sit there, lay there, stand there, walk there, ride there, but hopefully not drive there as you read this. We go through the motions each day only to get to the motions of tomorrow. Each of us are feeling something different right now. Some of you, yes you, may be happy, sad, mellow, high, wishing you was high, trying to stay off of getting high, content, bored, or maybe even downright at a loss for words of what you’re feeling. Whatever state of mind you are in right now maybe it’s the first three words of this paragraph that pulled you, “What is life?” It often leads to why am I here, what’s the point, do I have a purpose?

My experience of life thus far has been, well exhausting. I find it odd though because I’ve had people tell me that their’s, like everyone’s, has had its ups and downs but their’s has been great and they couldn’t ask for more. Why is that though? What does that feel like? How is another human being I’m sharing this Earth with having a better experience than me? What can I do different to experience this euphoria?

Scientist will tell you it was a big bang or an evolution from monkeys. Religious people will tell you God put us here. Now I believe God makes more sense as nothing can only create nothing, where would the monkeys have came from, and why are they no longer evolving into us? A superior being sounds way more logical to me with as big as this universe is and as carefully designed as it is but I’m not here to force my beliefs on you simply offering my experience.

The answer to what is life is really open-ended and in one sense still only leaves the question. Meaning nobody can give you an honest 100% correct answer. They can’t give you step-by-step specifics of how we came to be so you are still left asking what it is. On the other hand and relating to several references made above, life is a product of our environment, our mindsets, and our experiences and what life is to you is not what it is to everyone else. Some are born into wealth, nice houses, nice cars, and have everything they can dream of. This is certainly not me but as a human being they also experience their wealth different. Some are happy, thankful, and know how fortunate they are. Some are wasteful, ungrateful, unhappy, take it for granted, have developed a drug problem, etc… Some may be a mixture of several of these aspects. Money buys happiness for some but buys misery for others. Trust is hard to find without money, could you imagine with it?

Life for some is living paycheck to paycheck, still not being able to pay the bills. Worried about if your kids are going to be able to eat tonight. Freezing in the middle of winter walking to work or not being able to find work at all. Maybe you’re the addict, maybe you don’t admit you’re the addict. Maybe you was born into money and lost everything and you are now in this category. Some of us are disabled, maybe paralyzed, suffered a stroke, or had a heart attack. A childhood or adult experience you can’t let go of because of how horrible it was. Did you deserve it? Absolutely not! Was it your fault? Sometimes it is but in most cases also absolutely not!
Whatever the case may be your experience has put you where you are.

The family you was born into and the person you have become has put you where you are. The way you think has put you where you are. The choices you made or maybe others made have put you where you are. So what are we going to do about it? Some of us will carry on with the motions, go to work, suffer from our anxiety, our fibromyalgia, our addictions, put it on repeat until we’re six feet under. Some of us will get tired enough of our situation we will try new things, things we’ve been afraid of, and maybe even succeed and be happier. Some of us are just stuck right now and don’t have the choice to do anything different. Choices can always be made but not all choices make a difference. It doesn’t hurt to try though. So what is life? We are life and life is us.

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Frodo understands living with debilitating anxiety, and feeling as though the world may crumble around you at any point. He understands the need to just try and live the best you can, despite how difficult it seems sometimes. Remember that you are not alone, that there are people and strategies to help you cope. It is not a weakness to ask for help when you are struggling; just because you can grit your teeth and bear through your struggles alone doesn’t mean you have to.

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