rapono-writes-stuff

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Pressing F to Pay Respects to my Guest commenters rn.

#ao3 #also take this as your nudge to finally get into queue for making an account

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Almost had a mental breakdown because my Microsoft word app logged me out and then proceeded to crash anytime I tried to edit or make a new document.

#Also if you're asking 'why not just use Google docs?' #I HATE the formatting on Google docs. #something about it pokes my brain in an uncomfy way. #meanwhile Microsoft word mobile view at 70% zoom hits just right #anyways it works now. I think. I hope. #I still badly need to get a new phone but you know how it is with adhd. endless procrastination. #Also side note I'm not paying shit for my Microsoft app #it came built into my phone (free version?) (I don't need whatever extra stuff they got; I make do with the basics.)

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By the way I'm not dead. I recovered from the concussion, went on vacation, and as soon as I got back I immediately got very sick. I am still very sick.

#struggling to write this post between coughing fits

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Health first, when writing. I know it's hard when you can't create because of health problems, mental or physical, but give yourself a break and come back to writing when you're ready. It's alright, even if you haven't written in a while or can't finish old work.

You deserve a break🍀You know that, right?

I know. I'm just frustrated because I was actively working on a fic when I got bonked. Been figuring out how to get unstuck on my longfics, and then. It's just, both frustrating and scary. I hate it.

#ask #anonymous #this is my first concussion #And tbh my bigger worry is if I possibly lost some of my writing skills in the injury #It's terrifying #I'm scared #vent #kinda #...thank you for the care and concern. #❤

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.

#anxious the head trauma might effect my ability to write #not sure did the current head fog is just the normal kind making its return or new from the concussion #anyways I haven't really written anything since whacking my head and I'm getting worried about it. #vent

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Also fun fact I got my first concussion last weekend

#I was doing laundry and bonked my forehead on the corner of a nearby shelf when I stood up quickly

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Nothing puts a sense of dread in me like rereading my fic to refresh it in my mind for the next chapter, and seeing my author note saying "had to cut out an important scene due to plot timing, saving it for later" and realizing I have no idea what that scene is, I don't remember.

#*muffled screaming* #time to dig thru old docs and notes in a desperate hope I wrote it down somewhere #and also hope that I'll recognize it as the scene I was saving when I see it #writing problems #executive dysfunction my detested

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Was tempted to revamp my pinboard and print out and pin some of my fave comments on but then I remembered that would mean I'd have to take down my webkinz adoption certificates :(

#I'm not joking btw they've been there since 2008 #altho I guess I could try to move them around to make space but still #I don't have the heart to ever take them down

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Tbh I'm worried about writing anything rn, since my phone is on its literal dying breaths, worried it will all be lost at any moment.

#I've backed up (hopefully) everything but I'm still anxious #I'm terrible at phone shopping but I need a new one so bad

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do you got a favorite writing? be it yours or someone else's

Ooooo yes of course! My tastes/fandoms change over the years but there's some fics that I love to reread and indulge in.

I'll list off some of my faves (in no particular order):

Human Resources Violation by KogoDogo

Not a Man by Anonymous

A Touch Shorter by saintsaint

Alone by CG2

Coming Home by Kirmon64

Imposter Syndrome by TheAsexualofSpades

Behemoth by littleleaflings

Blue Sky by Wafflestories (ff.net)

Solar Lunacy by Bamsara

Cryptid Sightings by NaffEclipse

.:Same Man I Was Before:. by DarkwingSnark

Not too close to Home by retempts

Deadly Doppelganger by SilverStarSheep

Boiling Point by MathanLin

Peaks and Valleys by clefairytea

As for my favourite of my own? Hard to choose, often changes. Sometimes it's just my most recent, sometimes it's just what I'm in the mood for at that moment. Don't be afraid of the big bad eldritch horror, A candle in the cold, and The sound of a waking nightmare are a few I really like but felt like they went underappreciated imo.

#reblogging again cuz I've updated it (added a few more)

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Why is it 10am

#what the fuck #wow that hyperfocus sure does time blindness #No I haven't slept yet 😅😭

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Lethal Company (Video Game) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Bracken | Flower Man (Lethal Company) & Reader Characters: Reader, Bracken | Flower Man (Lethal Company), Thumper (Lethal Company) (briefly) Additional Tags: inspired by a tumblr post, Unusual monster behavior, Horror, Gore, Anxiety, Stress, Panic Attack, Near Suffocation, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Protectiveness, Mercy - Freeform, Anxious Reader, Reader is gender neutral, deer in the headlights, (Non-major) character death Summary:

It'd been quiet for far too long, the silence putting you on edge. Either you'd wandered farther and farther away from your coworkers, or maybe, just maybe, you were the last one alive.

You didn't want to think about that.

As you trudged onward, you see it in your peripheral. Slight movement, a shadow that doesn't quite fit, right behind you, just out of sight.

You weren't as alone as you thought you were.

-------

The "anxiety" variation to my previous fic. Turned out quite a bit sadder than I had planned, but sometimes stories have a mind of their own.

#post #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 #lethal company #lethal company fanfic #reader insert #bracken #horror fic #hurt/comfort #angst #this was supposed to be constant anxiety until a final happy ending but oops! #added two shots of angst too many

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Trying to finish my other fics I've been working on, but I can't stop thinking about Masky.

#edit: nevermind Masky did not stop me

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Last night I couldn't fall asleep but I did get so very emotionally attached to a character I made up called Masky the Mask (listen it's hard to and things while waiting for sleep to take you). 6 hours of lying there thinking about him. I want to write about him so but I don't know if i have to strength to do so.

#rambling #I was so ready to abandon everything to write about him but I am too fucking tired lmao #mainly I was initially trying to think of ideas for writing something very self indulgent for my birthday #(Yes I aged) #and then Masky showed up as a background character in my head when imaging a scene #and my half conscious brain latched onto him so hard I spent the next 5-6 hours lying there thinking about him and waiting for sleep to come #can you tell I haven't really slept yet?

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#reblog

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Apparently the answer to "how do I end this", which I've been agonizing over for like a week, was "make it much more tragic than I originally planned".

#it's not done yet #But I'm just trying to fill out the story beats #so that it will be easier to weave together #writing problems #writing struggles #anyways time to put the protag thru the wringer #I was gonna give them some relief and happiness at the end but sorry you gotta victim for the sake of the plot #adding the angst tag to the draft

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Obsessed with some of the scenes I've written, absolutely no idea how to make them into a coherent storyline.

#I especially have no idea how to start and end the fic #this fucking blows #>:( #writing problems