redhairmaybedontcaretoomuch

[redhairmaybedontcaretoomuch]

So many projects completed before Christmas! I’m super proud of myself. 3 scarves and 11 hats 🤘🤘 + bonus mini hat for a shift knob!

Grateful to have knitting to release stress and distract me from my own mind.

I’m still a little upset at my family for not giving a single care about my existence or health, but at this point it’s transitioning into anger.

Seems like cutting ties completely may be coming sooner than later. I truly didn’t ask for much, I just want to be treated like a human. At this point, if anything ever happened to me they wouldn’t even know.

#personal #knitting #struggle #work in progress #feeling lonely #orphan #family #trying to reconnect #recovery #growth #just love and grow #moving on

[redhairmaybedontcaretoomuch]

So many storms. Once the storm passes, society expects you to move on. But the storms never stopped. Never having a complete childhood nor adulthood. The two forever blended. If only the people who actually cared were closer. If only. Did I ever stand a chance? Will I ever?

All I can hope is one day the joys of life outweigh the pain.

I know my parents would be so proud of me. They’ve never stopped.

#personal #farm house #corn fields #mentally tired #refelctions #seasonal #chosen family #struggle #holiday blues #orphan

[redhairmaybedontcaretoomuch]

Today was a very very good, wholesome, simple day 🥰🥰 A little fresh coating of snow, some random house projects completed, and we got out our mini tree and decorations! I’ve known you for forever and I’m so happy our lives have fully intertwined ❤️🤘

Holiday seasons are always really tough for me but I feel myself warming up to the simple joys with you by my side.

#personal #simple #farm house #snow day #love #I hate the holidays #but I love doing them with you #chosen family

[redhairmaybedontcaretoomuch]

When you can’t afford to buy anyone gifts….but you can knit until your bones ache! Sendin it 🤘🥰

I think I may make an Etsy shop after the holidays. But honestly, I’m nervous there will be a visual representation of the lack of support in my life. I know J always supports me but these last few years it truly feels like he’s the only one.

Anyway, back to knitting. Pause emotions. Peace and love.

#personal #knitting #next project #craft corner #handmade #self taught #holiday #clutter #homemade #knitters of tumblr

[redhairmaybedontcaretoomuch]

Eternally grateful for our piece of peace. I don’t know what home is supposed to feel like, but I know I wholeheartedly love growing through life with you ❣️

#personal #autumn #farm house #nature #mental health #morning walks

[redhairmaybedontcaretoomuch]

Corn harvest today!

I deactivated my other socials and have been getting a lot of knitting done lately. Debating opening an Etsy shop for some income. Unemployment is truly beating me into the ground and I can’t just do nothing.

Grateful for every stupid lesson throughout life, it’s all made me tough as fuck. I’m just so tired.

I wish my family supported me. Or at least acknowledged my existence.

Happy November ❤️

#personal #farm house #harvest #corn fields #autumn #timelapse

[redhairmaybedontcaretoomuch]

We hacked Halloween and my anxiety. Event staff consumes! You get to tend fires and play with dogs 🤘 highly recommend.

#personal #halloween #event staff #anxiety hack #generalized anxiety disorder #gimme all the dogs

[redhairmaybedontcaretoomuch]

So grateful to have this piece of peace so close to home. There were a lotttttt of tears shed today, but the smiles here helped lift my energy❤️

#personal #struggle #nature stuff #mentally tired #nature hikes #autumn

[redhairmaybedontcaretoomuch]

Recharging❣️

#personal #home sweet home #autumn #farm house #corn fields #pinecone #taking a break

[redhairmaybedontcaretoomuch]

Thankful for the everyday beauty that surrounds me. Nature gives me strength and boy am I grateful to live in the middle of nowhere.

#personal #checking in #mentally tired #farm house #autumn

[redhairmaybedontcaretoomuch]

Life is fucking tough. Thankful for the little moments of peace.

#iphone photography #stars #starry night #corn fields #farm house #night sky #personal

[redhairmaybedontcaretoomuch]

These last few months have been utterly transformative. Spent tonight’s sunset reflecting on life and my growth. Then I came inside and made some homemade s’mores cookies with my person! Now I’m off to start knitting my first hat!

Focusing on the positives as best as I can 🥰🤘

Here’s to trying.

#personal #vent #knitting #handmade #sunset #farm sky #next project

[redhairmaybedontcaretoomuch]

Two weeks. It took two weeks for a family member to TEXT me back. I was in a dark place and had some heavy questions, and got all the answers I really needed in those two weeks of radio silence.

Message received.

Black sheep embraced.

Chosen family loved harder and hugged longer than before ❤️

After years of fighting to survive, I truly don’t have the energy to fight for anyone’s half-hearted love. Relative or not.

It hurts. But I’ll heal. I always do.

I didn’t think I’d make it anywhere near this long once my parents died but here we are. Still tired. Still fighting.

❤️

#personal #just love and grow #feeling pretty abandoned #blood is messier than water #it is what it is #vent post

[redhairmaybedontcaretoomuch]

I’m trying not to mind. But today pretty much solidified how fake and shitty the vast majority of my family is. It is what it is. Thank you everyoneeeeee for showing your true colors lately. This month has been exhausting and eye-opening. Forever the black sheep. Forever left to figure it all out on my own.

#personal #vent post #outcast #outliers #feeling pretty abandoned #thank you endlessly to my 2 friends

[redhairmaybedontcaretoomuch]

#personal #blanket #knitting #progress post #I’m obsessed #pattern #asymetrical #green

[redhairmaybedontcaretoomuch]

Almost there!

#personal #knitting #blanket #hand made #progress post #almost done #homemade

[redhairmaybedontcaretoomuch]

My first knit blanket is about 2/3 done and I thought I would take a moment to appreciate the progress. Knitting has been such a fun adventure and I’m really proud of myself for pushing through my struggles🤘

#blanket #knitting #handmade #I did that #personal #proud of me #progress post