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seekingdandelions · 5 months

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Reading this thread made my brain gears whir, so this is a bit of a lengthy train of thought.

I find the sort of cognitive urge to turn bigots' arguments into absurd, completely unrelated nonsense really interesting. By trying to make this headline "Catholic Church Warns That Kilts Will be Made Illegal if Conversion Therapy is Banned" it gives people a way to say "Haha, silly bigots making silly points, that's crazy, why would people believe that?"

And like, yes, bigots make really dumb points that have no logical basis all the time. But the headline isn't silly, haha, clutching at bendy straws on the moon.

It's vague.

I'd argue that vague is what turns the wheels of every sort of prejudice, not just transphobia or homophobia. By saying not only "If conversion therapy is banned it encroaches on your right to parent", but that it will criminalise parents, it links the banning of conversion therapy and the reader (assuming they're a parent) becoming a criminal.

"Oh no, I don't want to be a criminal, these people are taking over the world!"

If they spun an elaborate tale of kilts being some sort of technical conversion therapy, I think quite a few people wouldn't take that at face value because that's really dumb... though in saying that, a lot of people probably would, which is terrifying.

Instead, it's vague. Convincing someone who already doesn't like a certain group of people that those people (or the people advocating for their rights) are bad isn't hard. You just have to say "This puts ______ at risk" and that'll set them off.

That's not to say that the newspaper itself has an agenda (though I can hazard a guess its target audience and alignment from this front page), but the Catholic Church is clearly trying to poke holes in need (and it is a desperate need) for a conversion therapy ban.

We saw it with the gender reform bill, and annoyingly I think we'll see it again and again. The SNP started going forward with the gender reform bill and seemingly overnight there was a moral panic over... public bathrooms..? All of a sudden the UK seemed very concerned over public bathrooms being terrorised by transgender people, 'fake transgender people' or both? Oh, but specifically transwomen, transmen just didn't exist for this particular one-sided 'debate'.

Because if people acknowledged transmen then their argument would fall apart and it would become clear that nobody actually cared about toilets.

All that mattered was "If people can just change gender th-then what about the little girls in the big scary wild west of Tesco bathrooms!?!? What about the children???"

I can't help but wonder how many transgender people are causing chaos in public bathrooms? Surely it had to be a substantial amount to cause that much panic.

(We all know the quantity is either non-existent or miniscule because during this thing they managed to find one transgender criminal (Isla Bryson). I assume they could only find one, because if they knew of others they would have been plastered on the front page of the news too.)

They didn't need anything silly or out there like threats on kilts, and they certainly didn't need like... evidence. They just needed something vague. "Your children are at risk because of transgender people having rights".

The intended transphobic audience can fill in the blanks. And if someone who had no strong opinion (and is kinda sorta really gullible) only sees headline after headline warning of some sort of transgender bathroom bogeyman character, subconsciously they'll draw a line between transgender people and deception/danger.

Just like the headline in the article encourages a connection between protecting the rights of the marginalised at the cost of everybody else's rights. Because we can't all have rights, apparently, there's a limited amount of rights. (There certainly are when people consider 'the freedom to put my child through conversion therapy' a right, please god limit the rights if that's on the table).

It pains me how obvious it can be when pure disdain and hatred are running a narrative because hey, guess what, if people cared that much about bathroom safety they could campaign for better bathrooms instead of campaigning against the rights of transgender people. Floor-to-ceiling doors. Panic buttons, even.

But they didn't, because people just wanted a reason to hate the transgender community. Everyone's quite aware now that hate for the sake of hate is, historically, frowned upon, so making up reasons to hate people and limit their rights is the 'in thing'... Is what I would say if that wasn't also how most cases of historical prejudice went.

"Colonisation is okay guys, we're spreading religion and civilisation", "Black men are dangerous, they're a threat to your poor white daughters", "Women can't have the vote because they're too emotional, they'll just do what their husbands tell them to" and it goes on, and on, because these people just don't learn from anything ever I guess.

I don't know anymore. Maybe people just don't want to think. That's probably it. Challenging our own beliefs involves thinking.

There's also an argument to be made that having such a big picture of a kid in a kilt is encouraging subconscious parallels between conversion therapy, the criminalising of parents, and some sort of attack on culture. People on here certainly drew some sort of connection between them... which might just be because they don't know how printed newspapers work, but still, I find it really interesting.

Maybe parents who put their children through conversion therapy should be criminalised?

Also, we shouldn’t listen to the Catholic Church when it comes the child safeguarding.

#thoughts #scotland #scottish politics #politics

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seekingdandelions · 1 year

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The Spirit Loft - Short Story

Caelum lit the last candle in the circle and sat back, crossing his legs. The smell of salt drifted through the loft, making the boy’s nose crinkle. He shook his head, as though that might banish the scent. When that didn’t work, he rubbed at his nose, decided to ignore it, and picked up the stack of paper by his knee. His notes had seen better days. Caelum had roughly torn the pages from his school notebook, blanketed them in scribbles and stamped it with a few coffee stains for good measure. However, the boy seemed undeterred by their condition, as he flipped through the disorganised pages.

Halfway down the first page, blue ink switched to black, and then briefly to red. As he read, Caelum could feel the whispers growing in ferocity, desperate to pull him away from the dusty loft. Caelum pushed them aside, raising his voice.

‘“Circle of salt, thirteen candles, runes of my choosing, clear intentions”… Everything seems in order, wouldn’t you guys agree?’ he called into the empty room.

Caelum wasn’t sure who he was addressing. The constant murmuring never stopped, but it was rarely clear. It was like being in a city centre on Christmas Eve, trying to hone in on a dozen different conversations. A single voice, scratchy and teetering on the edge of coherence, rose above the static in Caelum’s ears. ‘Stop,’ it hissed.

Pressing his lips together, the boy folded up his notes and set them on the floor, ignoring the ghost’s plea. His shadow swayed across the slanted wall, projected by the candlelight. Caelum’s mum would be home soon. He wasn’t sure how she would react to his setup. He could imagine that her signature eye twitch would be involved, but it was a complete mystery from there.

Probably best to get on with it.

After clearing his throat, he recited; ‘With this offering of fire and salt, I invite you to my land, providing you abide by my command.’ The individual flames perked up, as though they were listening intently. Caelum noticed, allowing a hint of confidence to seep into his voice. ‘Do not leave this circle of binding salt. Provide me with the knowledge and protection I seek, and in return, I will provide you with compensation. With my intentions set, I summon you, demon.’

The spirits fell silent. Caelum’s grey eyes drifted through the loft. Empty. No demon. He frowned, reaching for his notes.

Has something gone wrong? Maybe he should have written the incantation himself. The online one had felt a little juvenile...

Without warning, thirteen candles flared with white-hot intensity. Rogue flames consumed the wicks with a crackle, leaving behind thirteen piles of molten red wax. Just as suddenly as they had swelled, the fire faltered and flatlined. Caelum bolted up, disoriented by the sudden eclipse. His notes plummeted to the floor.

Caelum took a shaky step back, eyes twitching through the loft. The boy was hardly an expert in the paranormal, but the goosebumps grabbing at his flesh weren’t a good sign. The sudden presence he could feel wasn’t filling him with hope either. It forced him further back, continuing to overwhelm him once his back was pressed to the slanted wall.

Caelum heard a deep, unravelling sigh, followed by a bang. ‘Ow! Curse these mortals and their low ceilings…’ Something had definitely gone wrong.

The spirits remained silent. Something deep within his gut twisted, sending bile to burn his throat. ‘S-Show yourself!’ he demanded weakly.

A bright blue light sparked in front of him. Caelum shrank back against it, shielding his eyes with a quivering hand. He could feel the floorboards dip as the demon moved closer.

Caelum prised his eyes open, catching a glimpse of the figure. The light had sparked from the demon’s palm, illuminating its features. However, Caelum didn’t know where to look. Should he focus on the skeletal mask or the brash raven wings? Would it be rude to stare at the demon’s long eagle-like legs and talons? The human head and torso were rather odd, but a welcome sight nonetheless. His hair was dark, similar to Caelum’s, but his eyes were hidden. He was tall too, towering over Caelum with ease.

More importantly, he had breezed past his summoning circle.

‘So…’ Caelum muttered. He could feel the flesh around his neck tingling, on edge. ‘I take it the summoning circle was a bust?’

‘Mhm,’ the demon responded. ‘Let me guess: you bought the salt from a supermarket? Cheaped out on the off-brand stuff?’

Caelum nodded a little too quickly, eyes trained on the floor. If he focused on it long enough, maybe he would fall through it. ‘The candles were rather pricey, y’see, and one pound seemed too expensive for salt. And there was always the chance that this wouldn’t work, and I don’t add salt to my meals, so I would have half a tub of salt leftover, and-’

‘Stop talking,’ the demon cut in, reaching behind the mask to rub his temples. His voice seemed familiar to Caelum. Was it similar to a celebrity’s voice? Maybe it the demon moonlighted as a celebrity. Or daylighted, perhaps. ‘Listen, kid, I don’t have all day. Some wise guy wrote an article about demon summoning, it got a lot of traction, now we’re working overtime. It’s a real mess. So, if you’ll excuse me…’

The light dimmed in the demon’s palm. His vast wings followed behind him as he turned around. Caelum couldn’t help but stare. Had things gone according to plan? No, the plan was in shambles, there was a mask-wearing bird demon in his loft.

He snapped back to the moment, remembering what he had set out to do. ‘Hey, wait, I didn’t mean to ramble about salt! I had a reason for summoning you. A legitimate reason, I mean.’

The demon turned back to face him, the light highlighting the hollows in his skull mask. ‘Oh?’

‘I had a dream a few weeks ago. In that dream, I saw myself laying out this summoning circle. The visuals were foggy, but… I remember what I felt. I felt like this was my only option. That this,’ he gestured around the loft, ‘was my last chance.’

‘That’s nice. I dreamt I was a whale one time. You don’t see me diving in the ocean! Not with a body like this, anyways. Quit while you’re ahead, kid.’ Caelum was taken aback by how… casual the demon was acting. It was like watching a rottweiler do a tap-dancing routine.

Still, Caelum was determined to argue his case, even if it ended in an infernal lecture. ‘For as long as I can remember, I’ve been able to hear… strange things. Screaming, laughing, whispering…’ Distantly, a humming was starting up again. The silence had been nice while it lasted.

Caelum continued, ‘At first, I thought I was going mad. But then I realised it was something else.’ He crossed his arms over his chest. ‘I know it’s ghosts. Figured that much, at least.’

‘Alright, you have some weird psychic stuff going on. And you decided you needed a demon because..?’

Desperation took over for a split second, blooming into an outburst. ‘Because I want you to get rid of it! Demons make pacts, right? Fix me. Please.’

The demon groaned. ‘Do I look like a priest to you? Making pacts with demons is dangerous. Trust me. It’ll cost you.��

‘Years off my life, right?’ The demon nodded in response and scratched at his wing. One of his feathers fell, landing in one of the wax puddles. They would be annoying to clean, but that was a problem for later. ‘That doesn’t bother me. I’m going to live ‘til I’m eighty-two. I have years to spare.’

The demon stopped mid-scratch. ‘What did you just say?’

‘That I’ll live until I’m eighty-two. I’ll die from a heart attack, I think. Though, I’m not too sure about that. Medical crises are kind of… murky,’ Caelum responded indifferently. ‘I can usually get a sense for that sort of thing. My uncle died a few years ago. I told him not to get on that plane, but he didn’t listen.’

A handful of salt leapt forward as the demon rushed back to Caelum. A hand closed around his wrist. Caelum went rigid.

The demon’s voice lost all humour, growing harsh; ‘Seeing death… That’s a demon’s ability, boy.’ His grip tightened, drawing a wince from Caelum. ‘What’s your name?’

‘It’s Caelum.’

‘Caelum Weaver?’

Caelum nodded.

The demon let go of his arm, took a step back, and wheezed a laugh. Caelum let out a shaky sigh, cradling his wrist. The boy watched with wide eyes as the skull mask was torn from the demon’s face. The blue light hovered to the side of the room, observing the situation.

The discarded skull mask clattered against the floor. Caelum saw the demon’s features and tried not to choke. ‘Dad?!’

His father, whose face looked exactly the same as it had ten years prior, stretched into an awkward smile. ‘The, uh… the line at the cigarette counter was really long. You’ve certainly grown up, Caelum.’

Caelum blinked. Before he could think up a response, the loft shook violently as the front door opened. His father shot him a quizzical glance.

‘I’m home!’ Caelum’s mother yelled, slamming the door behind her. The loft shuddered once more. Even under blue light, Caelum could see the colour drain from the demon’s face. Caelum mumbled a curse as the onlooking spirits broke into a chorus of tittering laughter.

(Originally posted on https://seekingdandelions.weebly.com/)

#short story #creative writing #writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #paranormal #demon summoner #funny #it's meant to be funny anyways

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seekingdandelions · 1 year

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Does Kingdom Hearts BBS Pass the Bechdel Test?

Kingdom Hearts is one of the most well-known video game franchises of the 2000s. It’s notorious for long development times, being somewhat jarring (seeing Donald Duck in the same vicinity as Sephiroth is wild), and having a very complicated story.

What it isn’t well known for, are its strong, female characters.

The series has a few female characters - such as Kairi, who’s been around since the first instalment - but the number of male characters leaves them drastically outnumbered. However, in Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep we finally saw a female-led adventure… sort of.

Birth by Sleep has three playable characters, and the player has to choose whose story to follow. To get the full story, all three routes should be played. The protagonists of this game are; Aqua, Terra, and Ventus.

Enter Aqua, the female protagonist for the title. Aqua has a few core qualities; she’s responsible, kind and deeply cares for her friends. Of the three, she is the only main character to be given the title of ‘Keyblade Master’, suggesting that she is the most skilled of the three key-slinging heroes.

The Bechdel Test is one of the most well-known metrics for the representation of women in media. It is most commonly applied to films, but it can also be applied to books and video games. On the whole, it’s theoretically easier for a video game to pass the Bechdel Test, especially when compared with film. Video games tend to have longer run times, and so, more opportunities to pass it.

Because Kingdom Hearts is intrinsically tied to Disney properties, there are quite a few female Disney characters in the game (Cinderella, Snow White, and Aurora, to name a few). Now, that raises an important question: Of the Kingdom Hearts exclusive characters in this title, how many are female?

Three of them. In this game, there are only three original Kingdom Hearts characters.

Aqua, Kairi and Kairi’s Grandma.

For context, there are fifteen male characters of exclusive Kingdom Hearts origin. To list them all off we have:

Ventus, Terra, Master Eraqus, Sora, Riku, Xehanort (both young and old, since they’re sorta two different characters… and Terra-nort too), Ansem the Wise, Aeleus, Braig, Dilan, Even, Ienzo, Isa, Lea and Vanitas.

That ratio doesn’t look too good, does it?

Now that we’re familiar with the situation, let’s go over the rules of the Bechdel Test:

The piece of media must have more than two female characters

Both of these characters should be named

They have to engage in a conversation about something other than a man

Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep contains fourteen worlds, though two of them don’t have any story behind them (one is exclusively a board game). For this little ‘investigation’, let’s split this up by world. How many of them pass the Bechdel Test?

For the sake of clarity, we’ll just investigate Aqua’s story, since she’s the focus of this little experiment. Interactions between two female Disney characters won't count either, as most of those come from their source material. Additionally, we’ll cross rule one from the list, as both Kairi and Aqua are named, as well as the cast of Disney characters.

We’ve got approximately three hours of cutscenes to comb through; let’s get started.

There are a few worlds that we can cross off straight away, as they don’t have any female characters in them, with Aqua being the exception. Destiny Islands, Keyblade Graveyard, Land of Departure, Mysterious Tower and Olympus Coliseum are out of the running.

Five worlds eliminated already. That was fast.

Once Aqua leaves the hub world, we head to Castle of Dreams.

After wandering around for a bit, Aqua finally gets stopped by the Fairy Godmother. The two discuss light and darkness (classic Kingdom Hearts banter) making that the first pass. Lady Tremaine briefly asks Aqua why she’s in her house (a valid concern), but that doesn’t quite cut it as a conversation. Just before she leaves the world, she talks to the Fairy Godmother once more. It’s worth noting that Aqua does briefly speak the Cinderella, but it’s about Terra and isn’t long enough to be considered a true ‘conversation’.

The next world is Dwarf Woodlands, Snow White’s already eaten the apple, so Aqua walks in on her funeral. A bit awkward, but still, we press on. There isn’t an awful lot in this world; Aqua and Snow White never really interact, and Aqua doesn’t see the Evil Queen at any point. Unfortunately, this world fails the test.

Moving onto Enchanted Dominion, Aqua arrives at the castle. She finds Maleficient pretty quickly, and the two talk about the power of the keyblade. Terra pops up a few times in the conversation, but it’s not enough to void it. The two chat again towards the end of the story, so Enchanted Dominion hits the pass requirements.

Next up is Radiant Garden, home to Kairi and her unnamed grandmother. Aqua meets Kairi, who’s running away from the Unversed (this game’s stand-in for Heartless). Mickey Mouse helps Aqua defeat them, and Kairi doesn’t say anything. After a nail-biting wait, Kairi finally speaks, offering Aqua flowers. They have a very wholesome conversation, which is probably the most interesting conversation we’ve seen, as far as the Bechdel Test is concerned. Kairi runs over to her grandmother, and she tells Kairi a story. Radiant Garden passes with flying colours.

Next, we’re off to Disney Town! Minnie Mouse introduces herself to Aqua, and it’s a quick win. Aqua saves the day, Minnie banishes Pete to another dimension, and we’re on our way.

After Olympus Coliseum (which is a skip), it’s Deep Space time. The only other female character here is the Grand Councilwoman, and in a pleasant turn of events, the two actually cross paths. Deep Space also gets the stamp of approval. As far as the Disney characters go, this is probably the strongest female interaction we’ve seen so far. The two actually talk a few times before Aqua has to leave.

After Aqua leaves Deep Space, she visits Neverland. The only other female character there is Tinkerbell… who doesn’t actually talk. Well, she can communicate, but Peter Pan seems to be the only one that can understand her. So, this world gets marked down as a fail.

Neverland is the last of the Disney worlds, so Aqua rounds off her journey by visiting Destiny Islands, Mysterious Tower (technically a Disney world, but it’s mainly relevant to Kingdom Hearts, so it’ll be counted as such), and then Keyblade Graveyard. Those three have already been crossed off, so that brings us to the end of our investigation.

Of the twelve investigated world, five pass the Bechdel Test, whereas, seven do not. Of these worlds, the only Kingdom Hearts original world to pass was Radiant Garden.

So… what does this actually mean? Is Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep suddenly sexist? Not necessarily, no. It just shows the underwhelming representation of female characters throughout the game, reflecting the franchise’s issue with it on the whole.

Throughout the Kingdom Hearts series, the only original female characters seen (within console releases, because I don’t mess with the mobile games) are; Kairi, Naminé, Aqua, Xion, Larxene/Elrena, Olette, Ava, Invi, Kairi’s Grandma and Strelitzia (who has appeared in trailer form only… unless we’re counting that one time where she was probably a star). When compared with the number of original male characters (which is way too many to get into), this is a staggeringly low amount of female characters. This is rather odd, given that Disney properties contain an array of iconic and fleshed-out female characters. Why was this skipped on Kingdom Hearts?

Of these listed female characters, a lot of them are side characters, who have only had a little bit of screen time. Ava’s only appearance outwith the mobile games is in Kingdom Hearts χ Back Cover, which is a collection of cutscenes. Kairi’s Grandma gets limited screen time, and Olette is only marginally better, being locked to Twilight Town.

The Bechdel Test isn’t the be-all and end-all of female representation; it’s ultimately just an example of how low the bar is for women in media. It isn’t hard to have two named women converse about something other than the men in their life, and yet so many pieces of media fail the Bechdel Test. Whenever a piece of media passes the Bechdel Test, it shouldn’t be commended on that alone.

It’s the bare minimum.

Following from that hellishly low bar, a piece of media can pass the Bechdel Test, and can still put forward a bad portrayal of women.

The worlds in Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep (again, limited to Aqua’s story) fail the Bechdel Test more times than they pass it, but that’s purely down to a lack of female characters. The majority of the original male characters present in Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep are future organisation members; an organisation that only ever had two female characters (Larxene and Xion). Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep’s shortcomings are products of the entire franchise’s shortcomings.

We can only hope that as the plot of Kingdom Hearts grows, its representation of female characters can improve over time.

The first Kingdom Hearts game was released in 2002. Change is long overdue.

(Originally posted on https://seekingdandelions.weebly.com/)

#kingdom hearts #birth by sleep #kh bbs #aqua kh #analysis #long reads #bechdel test

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seekingdandelions · 1 year

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Writing Advice: Adverbs

“I believe the road to hell is paved with adverbs, and I will shout it from the rooftops. To put it another way, they’re like dandelions. If you have one in your lawn, it looks pretty and unique. If you fail to root it out, however, you find five the next day…fifty the day after that…and then, my brothers and sisters, your lawn is totally, completely, and profligately covered with dandelions. By then you see them for the weeds they really are, but by then it’s—GASP!!—too late.” ― Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft

Love them or hate them, adverbs are a part of the English language. As King explained in the above quote, a single adverb is fine. It flies under the radar, and can even work effectively depending on the context. Two adverbs on a page may go similarly unnoticed. However, when a page of prose is lazily littered with adverbs, it becomes difficult not to notice. It might read as amateurish, making your once kindly reader tire of the work and angrily throw it away.

Over-relying on adverbs is a severe writing pitfall.

But, not so coincidently, over-critiquing adverbs can be also be an editing pitfall.

Firstly, let’s look at why adverbs are cumbersome to use:

They can be really boring. Writing a sentence like, “The woman smiled kindly,” is a surefire way to glaze your reader’s eyes over. What does a “kindly” smile look like? Isn’t that subjective? One person might look at the woman and see a kind stranger, another might be wondering why she’s smiling with such dead, lifeless eyes. By removing the adverb we might write, “The woman gave me a radiant, toothy smile - the kind my mother used to share with me, and me alone.”

This is much more informative. We can see that she’s smiling broadly, and from context are able to assume that her face is lighting up. The speaker relates this smile to their mother, showing the reader a positive outlook on the woman. With the added “me, and me alone” we can catch a glimpse of the speaker’s backstory, the way they view their mother and the way this kind of interaction makes them feel special.

Through this, we learn more about the woman, the speaker, and the speaker’s mother. By eliminating the adverb - which was adding nothing to the sentence - we’ve given the sentence much more value and texture.

Adverbs can sap the life from your story, cutting down opportunities for originality and flair.

Secondly, let’s look at some potential advantages of the use of adverbs:

Adverbs are not always a scourge on your work. Sometimes being more descriptive pays off. Other times, it can pad things out unnecessarily.

Take for example: “I rolled to my left, dodging the broadsword by a hair’s breadth.” This is a good description and wouldn’t benefit from adverbs. However, let’s say that this is a sentence from a flash fiction submission to a competition. The word count is 500, but you’re already over, and your piece is chock-full of excellent descriptions.

If we change it to, “I rolled to my left, narrowly dodging the broadsword,” nothing really changes. Yes, we’ve lost a piece of description, but the word ‘narrowly’ tells us more about the situation than ‘kindly’ did in the last example.

Additionally, since this sentence clearly comes from a fight scene, the pacing might benefit from faster, less wordy action. In a fight, a combatant is unlikely to measure the distance between them and a swinging broadsword. Either they’re exaggerating or they’re omnipotent… Or, in reality, there’s a writer desperately looking for a good description, trying to ‘show not tell’. There’s never one ‘correct’ way to write, but I think it’s important to keep your options open.

In trying to avoid the dreaded adverb your writing might become diluted with half-decent descriptions’, like you’re trying your very best to be a ‘good’ writer. Rules are made to be broken - using three adverbs over the course of two pages isn’t going to kill you… probably.

When editing your work it’s important to keep these things in mind. If you see five adverbs in a paragraph, that’s a no-no in 9/10 situations. Going on a crusade to eliminate each and every adverb, however, isn’t always going to improve your work. Yes, it opens up room for description, but sometimes a scene doesn’t need sweeping, vivid descriptions. Sometimes it needs to move along.

This ties into the general rule of ‘show not tell’. Showing things to the reader (rather than outright stating them) is very important. This clear imbalance between the two techniques gives the less powerful a unique strength of its own. If you’ve spent a novel describing everything in beautiful, engaging detail, having a single line where something - an inescapable fact - is plainly stated can be so much more impactful.

“When Sam had died, she had tucked him into her heart, tucked him alongside her other beloved dead, whose names she kept so secret she sometimes forgot them. But Nehemia—Nehemia wouldn't fit.” ― Sarah J. Mass, Crown of Midnight

Here we see a long description of grief, followed by a plain statement. The protagonist has had a long time to deal with death, a way to remember those she’s lost. “Nehemia wouldn’t fit.” This is stark and attention-grabbing, in comparison to the sombre flow of the previous sentence. We can also see good use of sentence structure in these lines, which adds to the whole ‘I want my reader to be really sad’ gambit.

So, whenever someone (or… everyone) tells you not to do something in writing, be sure to consider why they’re saying that. Because if there’s something you’re not supposed to do, there’s always a flipside - a way to harness the ‘bad’ thing into a force of good in your writing.

Writing advice can only take you so far if you don’t consider the why behind it.

(As a fun little game that might ruin certain books for you, start counting the adverbs on a page. They are everywhere. See if they fit, or if you could eliminate them and come up with a better description.)

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(Originally Posted on https://seekingdandelions.weebly.com/)

#writing advice #writeblr #creative writing #writing improvement #writers on tumblr

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