skzstannie

[skzstannie]

i'll be here for you

☀️Feelbokkie M.list☀️

genre: sick fic, angst

pov: 2nd person

description: Seungmin can tell instantly from your voice that something is wrong, so he drops everything to take care of you.

pairing: bf!seungmin x gn!reader

warnings: hospitals, swearing, mentioning of food and eating, open ending, talking about weight, reference to death

word count: 3,054

a/n: allow me to be self indulgent and dramatic and over exaggerate for a moment.

©feelbokkie (2024) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

Mong, mong. Mong, mong. 

You sluggishly pull your phone out of your pocket, sitting as you do so. You let out a long, shaky sigh before plastering on a smile and answering the phone. You’re not sure why. It’s not like he can see your face through the phone. But maybe smiling will trick the rest of your body into thinking everything is okay.

“My Seungminnie!” You cheer into the phone, your face winces in pain from the sudden movement.

“Hi Y/n,” You can picture the small smile that’s slowly creeping onto his face vividly. “Did you just get home?”

“No,” you lean your back against your headrest. “I got home earlier than I thought I would. I read the end time on my schedule wrong.”

You can hear the chaos in the background. Changbin’s voice booms over everyone as he yells about something to do with Minho and Hyunjin. You can make out Felix’s faint laughter too. “You should’ve called me.”

“I didn’t want to interrupt practice. If I called you, you would have worried. How’s dance practice?”

“Hmm, Minho hyung has glared at Chan hyung twice, put Hyunjin in a headlock, and threatened all of us with various cooking styles about six times. He’s going to be sending me to you as soup.”

“Soupmin doesn’t sound too bad. Tell him to send side dishes,”

“Speaking of which, did you have a good lunch today?”

“I did,” You lie. “What about you? Did Minho let you eat or is he punishing you guys for not picking up the choreography?”

“We nailed 2 songs so he treated us. I had kimchi-jjigae!”

“You’re going to turn into kimchi-jjigae at this rate. You had it almost every day this week.”

“You just said you’d like Soupmin! ...Ugh, hyung, get off,” you hear a loud slap and some more laughter through the phone. The background laughter and chatter quickly becomes distant. “Sorry, Chan hyung lives in my bubble. What did you have for lunch?”

Click!

You assume that Seungmin had enough of whatever is going on in the practice room and left to talk to you somewhere peaceful. “Just some leftovers... I had some rice from dinner a couple of days ago so I make kimchi fried rice with some chicken.”

Seungmin is quiet on the other end for a second, “What did you really have?”

“I just told you,” You sit up, shifting your phone to your other hand and pressing it against your ear again.

“You’re hiding something. A couple of days ago you said you had pasta. What did you have for lunch today?”

“Kimchi—“ You double down.

Seungmin lets out a loud sigh, “This is a silly thing to lie about. You know that, right?”

“I’m not—“ You pause as the pain in your stomach reminds you that it's still there. “Fine, I just had some soda for lunch.”

“That’s all?”

“I told you, I wasn’t working as long as I thought—“

“You’re not eating properly and I can tell by your voice that you aren’t sleeping properly... Are you sick?”

“Probably,” You give up. When Seungmin has his mind set on something, it's difficult to argue with him.

“What do you mean ‘probably?’”

You bite your lower lip and run your free hand through your hair. “It’s nothing,”

“What’s going on?” It's subtle, the way his voice wavers with worry. If you weren't tuned into most of his habits, you would have missed it.

“Seungmin—“ You try to say calmly, wincing in pain as you lean back down against your headrest.

“Don’t try to lie or play it off. Something is wrong,” His voice raises an octave. You're not sure you can remember the last time he even slightly raised his voice at you. Even in a joking manner.

“…Fine." You squeeze your eyes shut, your current position only worsening your pain. "I just haven’t been feeling well lately.”

“What do you mean?”

You pause, contemplating how much you actually want to tell him right now. “My stomach gets upset. It’s fine though, probably just a bug.”

“And it’s causing you to not eat or sleep?”

“It only hurts after I eat. Well, it hurts in general now but if I eat it hurts a lot. Except for pho for some reason. But I can’t eat that all day every day,” You try to sound light and calm so that he doesn't worry more than he already is.

“You said 'now.' How long has it been hurting?”

“A while,” You mumble, playing with the hem of your shirt.

There's more movement in the background. You hear a faint scoff before you hear Seungmin huff as he presses the phone to his ear again.

“Have you gone to your doctor?”

“I called. They can’t see me until next month. But they said they’ll call me if a closer appointment comes.”

“Urgent care?” He suggests.

“They’ll just have me sit in the waiting room for hours and then spend 5 minutes with me before prescribing me antibiotics. Which is good and all but I know that's going to do fuck all if I can't even eat with the pills.”

“If it’s that bad, they’ll prescribe you something else.”

“Unlikely,”

You can practically hear the gears turning in Seungmin's head on the other end while he tries to come up with another solution for you. You're almost certain he's come up with all the same solutions that you have, none with promising enough results.

“What about the emergency room?" He tries again.

“For a stomach bug?” You chuckle, holding your stomach to attempt to control the apparent throbbing your stomach.

“A stomach bug wouldn't last that long. And you're not eating or sleeping. I don't know what else to do." His voice cracks. He's not trying to mask the panic in his voice for your sake anymore. He sounds as scared as you feel inside.

You squeeze your eyes shut again and rub your free hand over it. "Let's say I agree with you taking me to the emergency room. We'll still be there for hours--"

"I'm a pro idol. Plus my mom is a doctor,"

You've never known Seungmin to abuse his privilege as an idol, even at times when he should have. Especially when he should have. The fact that he's even insinuating that he'll use that part of his life if it'll help you is both heartwarming and intimidating.

"Don't involve your mom in this--Look, it's fine. I'm fine."

"It's not--" You hear Seungmin mumble a string of swear words that you're not sure you've heard him utter before.

"Seungmin? Hello?"

The background noise starts up again. This time, you hear Jisung scream singing loudly in the background as Hyunjin laughs. You hear some rustling in the background and finally a zipper. You pick up Chan's concerned voice, low and deep as chaos ensues in the background. You hear Seungmin tell him that he has to go, 'a family emergency' he explains. And then you hear Minho's soft voice as the noise in the background dies down. And then more rustling and zippers before the faint yet familiar jingling of keys.

"Seungmin!" You call out again, hoping he can hear you now that the room is quieter.

You hear a faint, 'one second' from Seungmin before he clears his throat, "I'll be there in about 20 minutes. Get your stuff ready."

Click

He hangs up before you can even try to argue with him that he doesn't need to leave practice to check on you. You let out a long shakey breath as you toss your phone on the bed and let yourself slump over from frustration.

***

"I can't believe you called your mom," You mutter under your breath.

Your arms rest firmly across your chest as you sit up on the examination bed in the emergency room. Seungmin sits at the foot of the bed, watching your every move. Like you would try to bolt if his eyes left you for even a second. You've thought about it.

"If you saw how pale you looked, you would have done the same thing. What did you want me to do?"

He looks so unlike himself. This is the first time you've seen him so disheveled, even after a dance practice. His usually neat hair points in all different directions from him running his hands through it. His windbreaker is zipped all the way up to hide his wrinkly, sweaty t-shirt. His face is darker than it normally is, showcasing whatever is running through his mind.

"Not call your mom!" You whisper. The emergency room beds don't offer you much privacy, only a curtain separating you from other beds. There's been a man screaming in pain in one of the makeshift rooms since you walked in. "I told you specifically not to,"

The sterile stench and bright lights from the room are starting to make your head spin. You feel bad taking up a bed when you know some people need to be examined more than you.

"I'm sorry but if you saw me in the state you're in, trust me, you would be calling anyone who could help. You lost a lot of weight too. I don't think I can even pinch your cheeks without it hurting you."

"You're overreacting," You scoff, rolling your eyes.

"You look like a sickly Victorian child,"

"Seung--"

Swoosh

Seungmin quietly gets up from his spot on the bed and stands next to you, resting his hand on your shoulder. Your doctor from earlier walks back in, nurse behind him this time. Her forced smile does nothing to distract from the dark bags under her eyes. You can tell how exhausted she is just by looking at her. She looks how your brain feels.

"I just finished talking with my attending. We both agree that you may have an ulcer. However, we cannot be sure without further testing. You have a few options but we recommend..."

You started to zone out, relieved that their first suspicion is an ulcer and not something more serious. An ulcer is treatable and the fatality rate is relatively low, based on what you read when you first started feeling sick.

"...admit you."

"Excuse me?" You tilt your head to the side, confused about what you just heard. You feel Seungmin's grip on your shoulder tightens, nails practically digging into your shoulder.

"Like I said, we do have a few other concerns so we believe it's best to admit you while we run a few more tests to be certain." The doctor repeats.

"But you just said that it's most likely an ulcer." You uncross your arms, your hand instinctively reacting for Seungmin. He grabs your hand with his free hand, refusing to let go of your shoulder.

"Yes, but some of the symptoms you're experiencing also align with other ailments so we would like to admit you for a couple of days while we do thorough tests," she explains, flipping through the papers on her clipboard.

You turn to Seungmin, whose face is clamped shut and eyes are fixed on the doctor. He's been doing well, keeping his composure for your sake, but now he looks as pale as you probably do. You try to focus your breathing so that maybe, just maybe, your heart will stop threatening to pound out of your chest. If it does, however, you're in the perfect place.

Seungmin's hand slides down from your shoulder to your back, rubbing soothing circles as he continues to talk to the doctor. You can't hear what he and the doctor are talking about, your ears are acutely aware of the swooshing of the blood from your heart.

You wanted it to be nothing. It's one of the main reasons why you put it off so long, playing it off as common stomach issues so you wouldn't have to go to the doctors and have them find something wrong with you. But it's inevitable now. There is something.

"It'll be okay," Seungmin whispers. Normally, you can read him like a book, but right now, you can't tell if he's reassuring you or himself.

~~~

You stare at the words on your phone, absorbing none of them as music plays loudly from Seungmin's headphones. You can't even register what song is playing right now, your mind too full with thousands of thoughts plaguing every quiet second you have.

Seungmin left you his headphones and phone charger before he left to get you some things from home. He stayed a while, being a quiet yet comforting presence while you got admitted. He sat, holding your hand as a nurse drew your blood, humming softly to distract you for a little bit.

He didn't want to leave. Not at first, but the two of you quickly realized that you couldn't ask anyone to get what you needed from your apartment. Seungmin has the only remaining key and you argued that it would be too much to ask one of the boys to come to the hospital to pick it up, get what you need from your room, and then come back to the hospital. So Seungmin went himself.

You were put into a private room, which you know is probably Seungmin's doing, but right now, you would prefer to be in a shared room. Just for the comfort of knowing that you're not the only person in the room.

Hot tears roll down your face, as your mind plays all the worse possible scenarios like a movie. You can't skip it, each scene is worse than the first, stressing you out more. You rest your head on the TV tray, trying to get your body to stop shaking and the images from popping into your head.

"Y/n?" You feel the cool air rushing to your ears and Seungmin's panicked voice, "What's wrong? Are you in pain?"

He sets down the bags in the chair next to your bed and tries to get you to lift your head so he can see your face.

"N-no. I mean, yeah it hurts, but that's not why I'm crying." You whimper, lifting your head and looking at Seungmin through tears.

You can't see it, how red and swollen Seungmin's eyes are. Even if you did, you know he'd tell you a little white lie about allergies. You hate how this is affecting him. It's one of the reasons why you didn't tell him in the first place. Because you knew he wouldn't be able to do anything to help, no matter how much he wanted to. You don't even want to think how badly he'll suffer if it's something serious.

"It's okay to be scared," Seungmin whispers. The remainder of the sentence lingers in the air between the two of you. Unspoken but understood.

It's okay to be scared. I am too.

"What if it's something serious? And I waited too long and,"

Another unfinished sentence that doesn't need to be completed for the two of you to understand, this one heavier than the last. Its weight quickly soaking up all the oxygen and light in the room, making it hard to breathe. Or maybe it's whatever has been slowly killing you from the inside finally putting you out of your misery.

"Maybe it's a parasite," Seungmin suggests, his normally steady voice breaking. You finally look up to face your boyfriend. You're bet with the top of his head as he's turned away from you, looking at the ceiling. His hair is neater than it was before, still slightly wet. He's now wearing a light grey hoodie with matching sweatpants.

"That's disgusting," You sniffle, a smile smile appearing on your face.

Seungmin, still not looking at you, lets out a loud and long sigh. "But you're smiling, right?"

"Because you're an idiot,"

"A smile is a smile. I'll take it."

Seungmin tilts his head down and rubs his sleeve-covered hands over his face before turning his attention to you. His eyes are glassy and red. Your heart drops to the pit of your stomach at the sight of him.

"It'll be okay," You whisper, taking Seungmin's hand in yours. It's more for your comfort than his.

"Whatever it is, I'll be here. Okay?" Seungmin says loudly, squeezing your hand tightly. "So lay your burdens on me,"

"I can't ask you to do that. You're getting ready for a comeback--"

"You think I would be able to focus on that if you're...if something is wrong with you?"

"I've seen you seen you separate Kim Seungmin the idol from Kim Seungmin my boyfriend."

"Yeah, when we're having a fight or something. But not for things like this. I already talked to Chan hyung. I didn't tell him everything, but he understands that you need me right now."

"Seungmin..." Your voice falters, any argument you could think of dies in your throat.

But he's right, you do need him. You've been shouldering the burden of your pain alone for too long, you're not sure how much longer you can last. He was gone for one hour and you completely fell apart. And that was just at the thought that it might be something serious.

"I have to call my parents," You breathe, calming down a little bit.

"I can help you with that," Seungmin replies softly.

"And I need to let my boss know I can't come in."

"I'll help with that too,"

"...But right now, I kinda just want to lay down with you,"

"I can do that too," Seungmin gently climbs into the hospital bed next to you, carefully watching the IV in your hand.

Once he's settled, he pulls your head down onto his chest. You freeze for a moment. It's not usual for Seungmin to initiate physical contact like this. Especially when a nurse can walk in at any moment. But the slight tremble of his body and the pounding in his chest let you know that he probably needs this more than you, so you relax into his touch.

"I love you, Y/n," He mumbles out, just like he did the first time he said it.

"I love you too, Seungmin," You breathe into his chest, gripping the fabric of his hoodie.

"I'm here," He says loudly this time. "It'll be okay,"

"I know,"

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

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#seungmin #skz #stray kids #seungmin x reader

[skzstannie]

hear me out: part 2 to “Did you know?”, where the reader is kidnapped and they all lose their minds. :0 Ps: Love your writing and your 9th member storyline. <333

Hi anonnie! Sorry this took way too long, but it's finally finished. Hope you like it!

"They found her" | Part 2 to "Did you know?"

[skzstannie]

"They found her"

SKZ -> ot8 x 9th member fem! reader

This is a part 2 to this fic, but it can be read as a stand alone as there's not much reference to the original fic.

genre: hurt/comfort, angst wc: ~3,800 words cw: kidnapping, guns and gunshot wounds, hospitals, some brief cursing

Summary: Since the incident, the guys have been extremely over protective of you. You heed their warnings, but still go out unaccompanied by security on your vacation, only to have to pay the price for your poor decisions.

A/N: Hiiii, ik I've disappeared off the face of the Earth again, but I've brought gifts back with me this time. This one's a bit heavier, but it's the long awaited part 2 to "Did you know?", so I hope you guys enjoy. I hit 500 followers since the last time I posted, so this is kind of a celebratory post as well. Thanks guys!

Masterlist | Happy Scrolling!

The time has come around again when JYP has given you and your members some well-earned personal vacation, and you've chosen to spend that time back at home with your family and friends.

Upon hearing about your vacation, your childhood friends started blowing up your phone, asking about when you'll be in and if you wanted to hangout. Of course, you've missed them just as much and gave them all the details of you're arrival.

The day of said plans has finally arrived, and you couldn't be more excited. You and three of your closest friends have decided to go to this cute breakfast cafe for brunch, run by all your favorite stores for some shopping, and then round your evening out with some bar hopping.

"You have got to see this!" Ha-Yoon, a friend you've known since grade school, explodes from beside you in the passenger seat, fanning herself. "Look at how hot this guy is? Think he'll give me his number if I DM him?"

"Are you being for real?" Dae cringes from the backseat, leaning forward to get a closer look at your friend's new internet crush. "He's kinda ugly."

This elicits a bickering match for the remainder of the drive, with you and your remaining friend, Soon-Bok, rolling your eyes at their silly banter.

You decided that you'd pick them all up from their homes, figuring that you'd get to spend some more time with them that way. You didn't really think about the fact that perhaps more time was synonymous with too much time. Just because you hadn't seen your friends in months, doesn't mean that they didn't see each other literally every single day.

With a clear of your throat, they stop insulting each other's fantasy love interests, both squealing when they realize you've pulled into the parking lot for the cafe.

The four of you get out of the car, you pulling your keys out of your purse to lock the doors. While walking towards the doors of the cafe, you're hit with a strange feeling- like someone's watching you.

Immediately, you whip your head around in search of anyone getting a little too nosey, but you come up with nothing. You keep your guard up though, knowing you can never be too sure.

Since the stage incident a few months back, you've been feeling a little paranoid. Understandably so, especially since the mean and threatening comments never subsided. It's gotten to the point where the staff have begun to send out a few extra security guards each time you leave the JYP building. In fact, JYP gave you all this nice little vacation in hopes it'd help some of the comments die down. To your dismay, they have not.

The guys have been incredibly protective since then, and you're actually grateful for it for once. Their constant questions about your whereabouts and wanting to tag along with you everywhere you go used to annoy you, but you'd never think to complain about it now.

Just this morning, having told them about your exciting plans for the day, they sent a barrage of texts telling you to be careful. Chan practically demanded you take a security guard with you, but for the sake of your friends' comfortability, you declined. Was it stupid? Possibly, but you're only wish for this vacation is to make things seem normal again. Having constant security around is not normal.

You placated Chan by telling him that your family knows of the places you'll be, and your family and the rest of your members all have your location at all times. He was reluctant, almost threatening to fly himself to your home just to go out on your little excursion with you, but he eventually gave way, not without first lecturing you about how important your safety is- like you didn't already know that.

~ ~ ~

"And then he pushed him down the stairs! How crazy!" Dae finishes, your eyes widening at how her story ended. She had just finished telling you all about how her boyfriend got into this big fight with a guy at the bar the other day. Apparently, the random man thought it acceptable to lay his hands on Dae, and her boyfriend did not appreciate that.

"Your boyfriend is so hot," Ha-Yoon comments, her eyes looking dreamily off into the distance.

"Excuse me?" Dae questions, raising a brow at Ha-Yoon's confession.

"I mean-"

"Ok!" you interrupt, pushing your chair back from the table you've all been sat at. The brunch was nice, catching up with your friends was much needed and the food was warm and comforting, but enough is enough, and your friends are starting to get a bit squeamish. "I need to use the restroom quickly, then we can head to the mall? Does that sound ok?"

There's a chorus of yesses, and they shoo you off into the restroom, picking up their phones to distract themselves until you get back.

You make your way to the back of the cafe, noticing how the bathrooms are secluded down a small hallway in the corner of the restaurant. Your eyes glance out the emergency exit door, and you tilt your head in confusion upon seeing a large white van sat outside it. It is not parked in a parking spot; it's just parked directly outside the door.

You quickly do your business, not wanting to keep your friends waiting for too long, and head back out to the front of the cafe. Stepping outside the restroom, a hand is immediately thrown over your mouth, a piece of foul smelling cloth pressed up against your nose. You try to scream, but this only causes you to inhale more of the chemical.

You fight, attempting to throw an elbow behind you to dislodge yourself from the person's vice like grip, but this only leads to your elbow being grabbed at a painful angle. You whimper slightly as the person pries your elbow behind you, and it almost feels as if your arm could snap if you were to move another inch. You become lightheaded, and it's hard to keep your eyes open and your mind alert. Unable to fight any longer, you give in and slump down into the arms which hold you captive.

~ ~ ~

"She's been gone awhile, I'm gonna go-" Soon-Bok is cut off by an alarm inside the cafe going off. All the customers heads perk up at the noise, their attention drifting to the employees.

The waitresses look to one another in confusion before one makes their way over to where you went for the restroom a few minutes before. The cafe is silent as the waitress disappears, looking for where the alarm would be coming from.

It's silent for another minute, before there's an audible gasp. She comes back with your purse in one hand and your cracked phone in the other.

Your three friends quickly get up from their seats, rushing over to the waitress. "Where'd you find this?" Dae asks, her eyes tearing up.

"Just outside the bathroom. I was just able to catch a glimpse of a van speeding off. Do you think someone was taken?" she asks, her eyes widening at the thought.

"I think- I think our friend was kidnapped," Ya-Hoon whispers.

~ ~ ~

"This is why I said she needed a security guard with her! This would have never happened!" Chan snaps at their management in anger, rising up from his seat in the meeting room.

Upon hearing about your kidnapping, the rest of your members were immediately brought back to the JYP building. They were all livid.

"Chan, I understand you're upset, but there's really nothing we can do now but wait-"

"Wait for what? Huh? Wait for her to just magically appear here?" Minho cuts off the head of security, his face red with anger.

"Of course the police are on the case and doing everything they can to find her. As for the eight of you, you are not to leave this building until we get all of this under control. Do you hear me? We do not need more than one missing member." JYP is stern as he speaks, leaving no room for discussion. "This meeting is dismissed. We will update you all if we hear anything."

With that, everyone else clears out of the room, leaving your eight members.

"This is awful," Felix says, his head hanging in his hands.

"No shit, Felix, why not state more of the obvious," Jisung narrows his eyes at Felix.

"We can't turn on each other," Changbin butts in, deterring them from getting into it any further. "We have to stick together and just wait this out. She's strong; she'll be ok."

"But what if she's not," Hyunjin speaks up for the first time since they got back. He's been huddled up against Jeongin since they got there, his head hung low. It's obvious he's been crying with the way his cheeks are stained with tears, his eyes red from how often he's rubbed them.

"We can't think like that," Chan says, moving over to Hyunjin. He lays a comforting arm around his shoulders, and Hyunjin immediately moves to the comfort of the leader, turning his head to hide it in Chan's chest. "They saw the van leave, it couldn't have been too long before the police were there. They'll find her, and then she'll be right back here with us."

"To never be let out of our sights again," Seungmin grumbles from the couch, wearing a similar expression to that of Felix's.

"Correct," Minho agrees, leaning back in his chair.

~ ~ ~

"Seungmin, you have to sleep. Staying up for 72 hours straight is not going to make her come back any faster," Chan lays his hand on the back of the boy's neck, slightly rocking him side to side.

"Maybe not, but I'll be the first to know when they find her," he counters, his bloodhsot eyes meeting Chan's. "You're one to talk; you haven't slept either."

Chan just sighs in response, plopping down on the couch next to him. It's quiet between the two of them, but neither are complaining about it. The peace is nice after what they've been through the past few days.

"Hyunjin hasn't stopped crying. Jeongin and Felix have had to take turns laying with him," Seungmin breaks the quiet, his soft voice travelling throughout the practice room. "Han hasn't eaten since we found out."

"I know, I've been trying to get everyone up and moving, but no one's interested."

"Chan, we're not expecting you to be the hero. We know you're in pain, too, and it's ok to act like it," it takes Chan a minute to process what Seungmin had said, but as his brain takes time, he realizes that it's been so long since he's cried, so long since he's truly let his emotions out.

With another moment passing, Chan's breath quickens and tears spring into his eyes. Without another thought, he turns his head into Seungmin's shoulder and cries. He cries for you, and how scared you must be right now, and he cries for the rest of his members, knowing how bad this is hurting them. He cries because he can't take away their pain or yours, not this time.

~ ~ ~

"Wake up." You feel a cold splash of water hit your face, and you're abruptly brought to consciousness. Your eyes open quickly in response to the cold, but you squint once you're hit with the blinding light coming from the ceiling light above you.

You try to talk, to say anything, but you quickly become aware of the duct tape placed snuggly over your mouth.

You gain some more proprioception, feeling the tightness of the rope around your wrists and how your ankles are tied to the legs of the chair you're currently sat on.

"Hey!" Your attention is brought to the large man standing in front of you, and your breath hitches in your throat at the sight of the gun in his hand. "Eyes here. And quit squirming so much!"

You freeze at that, stilling your movements. "Now listen here," you hear another guy say from across the room. You are just noticing him for the first time, and you realize that this guy in front of you must be the brawn of the operation. "We need some money. A lot of money. So, if you want to make it out of here alive, you need to call your family and have them bring us 350 million won. No less. Think you can handle that princess?"

Tears well in your eyes at the mention of death. You can't die like this, at the hands of these awful people. But you also know you don't want to get your family involved. So, deciding this is your best bet, you sit stoically. You look straight ahead, your focus unwavering.

"The silent treatment, huh?" You can see out of your periphery the man at the desk across the room stand from his chair. He makes his way towards you, but you pay him no mind, keeping your blank stare on the wall in front of you.

"If the threat's not enough to get you to talk, maybe this will be." He's quick to take the gun from the other man's hand, and before you can even flinch he's pointed it at your lower leg and let off a shot.

You choke on your own spit when the pain registers. You close your eyes and strain your body not to react, but there's only so much you can do. The tears you were successfully keeping at bay before now slide freely down your cheeks. Your hands are in tight fists behind your back, and you feel you may pass out from the white-hot pain radiating from your calf.

Your consciousness teeters, and all words being spoken by the men sound gibberish in your state. Just as you feel you may fall completely unconscious, you're startled by a loud bang from behind you. Your eyes lazily drift to the men, and you see their gazes widen before they quickly raise their hands in surrender. You make eye contact with the one that shot you, and that's the last thing you see before your eyes shut, your body and mind going completely numb.

~ ~ ~

The practice room door is flung open, bringing Chan out of his sleepy state. "What the hell? Be a little quieter would you," he mumbles, rolling his eyes at Jisung who stands in the doorway. For the first time since the news, Chan is attempting to get some sleep. It wasn't exactly on his own accord, though. After the constant hounding from the rest of the members, and even a threat from Felix that he'd sneak melatonin into his water, he decided it would probably be best for him to try and get some shut eye; he'll be of no use to anyone if he's delirious with sleep.

"They found her."

At this, all of Chan's previous drowsiness vanishes. He sits up from the couch faster than he ever has before, his joints cracking with such a sudden movement. "What?" he asks for clarification, fearing it might be too good to be true.

"They've found her. She's on the way to the hospital right now," Jisung's contagious smile makes more sense now, Chan wearing a similar expression.

"Where are the rest of the boys?" Chan stands from the couch in a rush, quickly slipping his shoes on.

"They're in the meeting room. They just bought our flight there, we're leaving now."

~ ~ ~

"Thank you," you tell the nurse, taking the small cup of water from her hands. It's been a few hours since you woke up from your unconscious state. Upon arriving at the hospital, they immediately took you into surgery to remove the bullet from your leg. Thankfully, it missed all the important stuff, leaving your bones completely in tact. You're left with some muscle damage, but the doctor assured you with some physical therapy you'd be back to normal again.

You're now laying in bed recovering. The wound has been stapled and is wrapped tightly. You have your leg resting on a couple pillows, hopefully to help prevent the swelling. Beside you on the couch is your family, having come in immediately upon hearing the news. Some silly K-Drama is playing on the T.V, but it's enough to keep your mind occupied for now, so you're thankful for it.

Nobody confirmed it for you, but you were sure your members were well on their way. Your family told you that you had been kidnapped for a few days. You told them you only remember being awake for a few minutes, but apparently they kept knocking you out again and again.

After talking with the police, you find that they were using you for ransom, and they kept knocking you out because they didn't have everything squared away yet; whatever that means, you're not quite sure.

As if on cue, the door to your room swings open, revealing Chan and Minho. They're out of breath and sweaty, looking as if they had just run a marathon.

You're given no time for formal greetings as they both launch themselves at you, throwing their arms haphazardly around you until you feel like you're squished beneath them. Your mom makes a protesting sound, but you wave her off with a gesture of your hand. They missed you, and you missed them. They weren't hurting you or anyone else by hugging you.

"You're never leaving our sights again," Chan says, his cheek pressed against the top of your head.

"Never ever," Minho agrees, his torso laid lightly across your lap.

"I'm okay-" you start, only to be cut off by an angry looking Chan. His face pops into view at your words, eyebrows furrowed.

"You are indeed not okay! You were kidnapped, unconscious for hours on end, and then shot! How are you possibly trying to convince us that you're ok?" Minho stands up at his outburst, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm alive, and that's okay enough for me."

With your response bludgeoned into their minds, they both collapse on top of you in another hug.

You bask in their warmth a bit longer, only being interrupted with the door creaking open. Felix and Hyunjin stand there, teary and red-eyed.

"Your time's up," Hyunjin sniffles, moving out of the way of the door so the two can exit.

"We'll be back," Chan leans down to kiss your forehead while Minho grabs your hand, giving it an assuring squeeze.

They leave, and Felix and Hyunjin scurry in after them. They crowd around your bedframe, hesitant to even lay a hand on you.

"Hey," you whisper, reaching over to grab both of their hands, "I'm okay."

Hyunjin breaks down in sobs, and it only takes Felix a minute before he's right there with him. You let go of their hands and open your arms to welcome them in for a hug. Both of them hesitate again, but eventually bend down to give you the gentlest hug you've ever received.

"Does it hurt?" Felix mumbles, his arms tightly wrapped around your shoulders.

"They've got me on some serious meds, so no. It probably will when I come off of them, though. I haven't tried to walk-"

"And you wont either. Not for a long while," your mom cuts in from the couch.

"Thanks for your input, Mom."

"No problem," her gaze shifts to the boys, "She's been moody since she came out of surgery. They say it's because of the meds." They both let out a huffy laugh at that, and while you're absolutely dying to argue, you're just thankful to see Hyunjin and Felix smile.

There's another knock at the door, and all your heads snap to Changbin and Jisung. "Our turn," Jisung says, gesturing for Felix and Hyunjin to get out.

"We'll see you soon," Felix says before making his way to the door.

"Love you," Hyunjin says, hugging you for a second longer.

"Love you, too," you tell him, and you watch as he gets up and walks toward the door.

Once they're gone, Jisung and Changbin come into the room.

"Chan is never letting you out of his sight again; you know that, right?" Changbin asks, pulling up a chair beside you.

"Uh, not just Chan, all of us," Jisung argues. "You know how when girls go out they all have to, like, go to the bathroom together? That's about to be us bestie."

"Um, ew," you grimace just thinking about all your privacy being stripped from you.

"We'll wait outside, of course," Changbin says, trying to make you feel better.

"Oh, how thoughtful," you sass back, giving them a sarcastic smile.

"But for real though, are you ok?" The atmosphere turns serious at Jisung's inquisition. "We were all worried sick about you."

"I guess I could be better, but I'm gonna be just fine. Doc said some physical therapy and I'll be good as new."

"Did you know they didn't even realize you were an idol at first?" Changbin says, piquing your interest. "They said they thought they just picked up some random person at the cafe. Apparently that's why they kept you knocked out for so long; it made things more complicated."

"I did not know that, actually. The police only gave me a quick run down, said they'd be back later for some more questioning and to give us some more information."

Another knock is heard at the door, and you look to see Seungmin and I.N standing there, the last of your boys. "Our turn now, move along," Seungmin says, tapping his foot impatiently.

"That's our cue, we'll see you later." They both lean down to give you a kiss on the cheek before walking out of the room.

Seungmin and I.N come in, seeming even more urgent than Chan and Minho did earlier.

They both come crashing down on top of you, all concern for the wires attached to you out the window.

Wanting to tease them, you say, "What if I was, like, seriously hurt? And now you two just came running in here like a pack of wild animals?"

"Give me a break, everybody said you were fine and that you were accepting hugs," Seungmin throws back, giving you a firm poke in the side.

You bark out a laugh at that, a smile gracing your features. "They also said that you hadn't smiled yet. So there," Seungmin nuzzles his head back into your shoulder, and you feel him breath a sigh against your neck.

"We missed you," I.N says from the other side where he's latched onto your arm.

"I missed you guys more."

"Not possible, I'd never seen any of the guys so worked up before. Chan didn't sleep the whole time you were gone, and as soon as we convinced him to, they found you," Seungmin says.

"Well, I'm here now," you comfort them, rubbing a hand on each of their backs.

"And we're never letting you go again."

~ ~ ~

Part 1

#stray kids #skz #stray kids imagine #stray kids oneshot #stray kids fanfic #skz imagine #skz oneshot #skz fanfic #skz ot8 #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #seungmin #hyunjin #lee know #skz oneshots #stray kids imagines #stray kids ot8 #ot8 x reader #changbin #bang chan #i.n #han jisung #lee felix #skz hurt/comfort #skz angst #part 2/2

[skzstannie]

Texts from bf!Hyunjin when he finds out you did a fan call

☀️Feelbokkie M.list☀️

genre: crack

pov: 1st/2nd person (depends on how you view it)

description: Hyunjin is a bit dramatic after finding out about your fan call with AB6IX

pairing: bf!Hyunjin x reader

warnings: none

screenshot count: 7

©feelbokkie (2024) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

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Permanent Taglist (closed)

Red means that it wouldn't let me tag you (either at all or properly)

@amyysfics @berryblog @jaydebow @junebug032 @boiohboii

*the rest of the taglist is in the comments*

#hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #skz #stray kids #skz fake texts

[skzstannie]

Seungmin at the Chanel pop up store event.

#wow #seungmin #kim seungmin #stray kids #skz

[skzstannie]

so cuteee🥰🥰

#lee felix #seungmin #stray kids #skz

[skzstannie]

𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮

☆ Genre: Domestic, fluff

☆ Warnings: None

☆ Request: No

☆ Characters: Chan, Y/N

☆ Word Count: 1.9k

“Are you coming?” Chan laughed up the stairs. “I've made the sofa all nice and cosy … “

There was a clatter from the couple's bedroom, and then, “Coming!”

With a grin and the subtle fond shake of his head, Chan shuffled towards the sofa again. He collapsed onto the pile of blankets with a contented groan, his lips curving up into a smile as he automatically stroked his hands over the heavy material beside him. He hummed to himself at the softness against his fingers, and suddenly very excited to be cuddled up to his wife for the next few hours, Chan made to get up again to see where she had gone.

But Y/N pottered into the room a split second later, and Chan smiled widely at her as she made her way to where he was sitting.

“What were you doing?” Chan chuckled.

Y/N stifled a yawn with her hand. “I was changing. I feel like those other clothes were hurting my body.”

At that, Chan wrinkled his nose. He knew that feeling all too well; at the end of a long day, the last thing he wanted was his day clothes trapping him and restricting his level of comfort.

He cocked his head to the side. “Is that my hoodie?”

Y/N flapped her arms around; the dark sleeves were long, and they hung a few inches below her hands. The hem of the hoodie landed at the middle of her bare thighs, and she giggled when her husband's face turned into one of amusement.

“Maybe … ?” Y/N said. “It's cosy.”

Chans’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “No clothes is even cosier … ”

Cheeks flushed, Y/N reached for the nearest cushion and playfully thumped it across her husband's arm. “Not everyone wants to be naked twenty-four-seven like you.”

Chan started to chuckle. He made a sudden lunge for the cushion and grabbed it before his wife could pummel him with it; he set it to the side and opened his arms up to her, his face softening.

“Come here,” Chan said.

Y/N's face melted as she looked into the mans eyes. She stepped towards him and let Chan's arms circle around her; he pulled her onto his lap with ease, a smirk on his face as she started to laugh.

“Alright, Christopher, stop showing off,” Y/N rolled her eyes. “I already know you can deadlift a shit tonne.”

“I don't know what you mean,” Chan said nonchalantly, though his eyes glinted as she squeezed her tightly. “I'm just trying to cuddle with my wife.”

“Really? Is that why you just grabbed me out of thin air like I'm some sort of … ball?” Y/N grinned.

Chan chuckled. “A ball?”

“I don't know, it was the first thing that came into my mind,” Y/N shrugged. She peered down at her husband as she settled down properly on his thighs. A smile spread across her lips; she couldn't stop herself from reaching out and lightly squishing her husband's face in her hand. Chan grinned up at her innocently. A second later his tongue darted out and he licked the inside of his wife's palm, the woman yelping in surprise.

“You always do that … ” Y/N whined as Chan broke into a fit of satisfied giggled.

“Can't help it,” Chan grinned. “You're tasty.”

“You're gross,” Y/N stuck her tongue out at him, though she slipped her arms around his bare torso and sank into the curve of his body. “I really hate you.”

Chan's grin widened. He tucked his favourite blanket around them both in response, ducking his head a little to drop a tender kiss to the top of his wife's head.

Y/N nuzzled further into his body at the affection; the warmth of his skin against her cheek became increasingly comforting, and she smiled against his skin.

“What do you wanna watch?” Chan asked her. One of his hands was pointing the remote at their TV, his other arm wrapped around his wife's shoulders, his fingers playing with the fabric of her hoodie.

Y/N looked up at him. “What do you wanna watch?”

Chuckling, Chan squeezed her shoulder gently. “Whatever you wanna watch.”

“Well, too bad. I wanna watch what you wanna watch.”

Chan grinned. “How do we always end up here? It happens every single time.”

“Your fault,” Y/N said.

“How is that my fault?”

Y/N shrugged again. “Just is.”

Laughing under his breath, Chan set the remote to the side. He wrapped his free arm around his wife and hugged her tight; smiling at the sudden burst of affection, Y/N buried her face into his chest and closed her fingers over the hot skin of his lower back.

“Choose something,” Chan whispered, kissing her temple. “Whatever you want.”

“Are you sure?” Y/N asked as she looked up at him.

Chan nodded. He brushed his nose against hers in a gentle kiss. “Wanna watch what makes you happy.”

Y/N's heart fluttered. She truly didn't mind watching anything as long as she was with her husband; she'd have sat through the world's most boring movie (which had happened previously) if that was what Chan had wanted to watch. But she was also secretly dying to watch her favourite show - it was the sort of show that filled her with warmth and comfort, and that was exactly the sort of thing she needed after the strenuous day she had had.

She reached for the remote; Chan knew what she was going to click onto before she did so, and when he realised he was right, he started to laugh. He squeezed his wife in his embrace, rubbing his wife's shoulders as the opening chords of the TV show’s theme song began.

As they watched the show together, Chan's attention started to waver. It wasn't that he was bored - for from it, infact. He had a special fondness for this particular show; it made his wife happy, and besides that, it did have an increasingly contagious storyline. But despite that, Chan couldn't help but notice how Y/N was clinging to him. Her hands were gentle at the base of his back, though her cheek was almost completely flat with how hard she was leaning against his chest. Eyes wide as she focused on the TV, her knees were curled up to her chest, giving her the resemblance of a tiny little ball, and Chan smiled to himself as he remembered her earlier words.

Chan trailed one of his hands from Y/N's waist to the curve of her face. He smoothed her hair away from her forehead with the sides of his fingers, his eyes softening more and more as he continued to watch her. With every one of his touches she seemed to cuddle further into him, and it made Chan grin, his nose flushing pink.

Y/N turned her head. “What?”

“Nothing … ” Chan hummed. He cupped her head with his hand and gently led it back down to his chest again, readjusting the blanket around her shoulders. “Just … thinking about how lucky I am to see this side of you.”

She squeezed his torso. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you know … you're always this hyper independent woman who looks like she'd kill anyone who even dared to help her, you know?” Chan half joked, a smile spreading across his lips as Y/N looked up at him. “Kinda scary.”

“I'm not scary,” Y/N huffed.

“Oh, I don't know … “ Chan mused. “I remember thinking you were pretty scary when you were still a kid.”

Y/N's cheeks grew hot. She remembered him saying that to her back then, too.

“I'm just saying … you seem all tough and invincible with the way you help everyone around you … but then you come home and you turn into this … tiny little … baby. And it's like the complete opposite of what you're usually like, you know?”

Y/N's blush deepened. She suddenly felt quite embarrassed. “You're the same though.”

“Yeah, but nowhere near as adorable as you,” Chan said, caressing her face. “I guess I just feel really lucky knowing that I'm the only one that gets to see you like this. Makes me feel special.”

“Well, you are special,” Y/N mumbled.

Chan leaned down to her, amusement blooming in his eyes. “Huh? What was that?”

“Shut up … “ Y/N grumbled, pushing him away with a smile of her own.

Chuckling at the predicted reaction, Chan nuzzled his nose against his wife's cheek. He kissed her pink skin before shifting in his seat, cuddling the woman closer to him under their pile of blankets.

It was quiet for a while before Y/N spoke again. When she did, her voice was soft, and it made Chan's heart melt.

“I guess it's because you're the only one that makes me feel safe … “ Y/N said, her eyes on the TV as Chan caressed his delicate fingers through her hair. “With everyone else I feel like I have to be strong and act like I have everything together otherwise they won't trust me when they need my help, you know? But with you … I don't have to pretend. I can be myself no matter how I'm feeling and you understand me completely.”

Chan looked down at his wife. She looked so vulnerable and small in that moment that he felt his heart skip a beat, and he instinctively tried to pull her even closer to him despite them already being pressed up to each other as much as was possible.

“You really feel like that?” Chan whispered, his knuckles tender against her temple.

Y/N nodded. “You're the only one who I can be like this around.”

It took Chan a large amount of effort to hide the beaming smile on his face.

She had no idea how much her words meant to him.

“You make me feel like that too,” Chan said, kissing her forehead.

Y/N started to giggle. “I know. That's why you act like a child around me.”

“Hey,” Chan chuckled. “I don't act like a child.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow at him.

“I'm five,” Chan gave in, his melodramatic facial expression contorting all of his features. It made his wife erupt into quiet laughter, and she sat up in his hold suddenly, sliding her arms around his neck.

“You're stupid,” Y/N corrected him as she leaned in to kiss his lips softly. She couldn't stop smiling as she leaned her forehead against hers, Chan's hands sliding up the hoodie on her back. “I love you.”

Chan's smile widened. “I love you more.”

“Impossible,” Y/N whispered. “I love you way more.”

Chuckling, Chan brushed his lips against hers. “Whatever makes you happy, baby girl.”

“You make me happy,” Y/N murmured. She snuggled further into him, clutching her fingers into his back. “You're the only person who makes me feel like this.”

“Like what?” Chan whispered.

Y/N smiled. “Like I'm at home whenever I'm with you.”

Biting his lip, Chan squeezed her body with his soft touch. He leaned back against the sofa, pulling his wife with him until they were both half laying against the seat. He nuzzled his nose against Y/N's face, his eyes falling shut as he breathed in the scent of her, relishing in her presence.

“Home sweet you, huh?” Chan breathed.

Y/N started to giggle. She kissed his nose. “Home sweet you.”

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Tag list ~ @dalamjisung @ateez-babygirl @waverzzzzzzzz @smutdumpskz @hotmesshapa @chanssmiles @leand125 @foivetimesacharm @dprkbyn @raethethey @super-btstrash-posts @sleepyleeji @ka-ni-ma @straystaychan @mylifesupsidedowm @armystay89 @shut-up256 @leelixpie @hanstan34 @blackfangedreaper @suhomylife @kannaexe @kookie9704 @notastraykid @strayfoxxchan @elizalabs3 @jdopes-recorder @forever-in-the-sky2 @peachygiku @chansducky10 @shakalakaboomboo @jisuperboard @zandra-42 @you-make-skz-stay @whyyougottadothatbro @skzcoffeemachine @where-is-innie @rizzshimura @miin17 @nappynapnaps @prettymiye0n @lost-leopard-beanie @retiredfactoryworker @chnbngs @stayconnecteed @hann1bee (let me know if you wanna be added or removed)

#stray kids #bang chan #skz #I can’t take it #it’s too cute

[skzstannie]

Ahhh guys, over 1000 notes is crazy!!

Hii it’s okay if you can’t but I was wondering if you could do a skz x 9th member reader where she was in a car crash as well as the others? But she was badly injured as well and had to be looked after by chan because she wasn’t in good condition? Totally okay if you can’t thanks❤️

"You're awake!"

SKZ-> ot8 x 9th member!reader (Chan-centric)

genre: angst, hurt/comfort wc: ~3,200 cw: some cussing, car accident, reader and skz get hurt

summary: ^^ see request

A/N: Hello! Not super happy with how this came out, but I hope you still like it anon! Started a new semester, so updates will be less frequent, but I'll still be lurking in everyone's feed through likes and reblogs 👀

Masterlist | Happy Scrolling!

"I'm just saying, if penguin's could fly, I think they'd take over the world."

"Felix, literally what are you talking about?" you give him a strange look from where you're seated diagonal from him in the car.

"If penguins ever learned to fly, I think they'd try to overthrow the government in a vengeful fury."

You all sit in silence for a moment, trying to preserve the last of your braincells from deteriorating.

"Okay..." Seungmin responds, quirking his eyebrow at him.

"I am so excited for tonight!" you break the silence that settles, practically vibrating in your seat from the excitement.

"We know, you haven't stopped talking about it," Minho boredly comments, his phone lighting up his face from the shadowy back seat.

Jeongin throws an elbow in his side from where he's seated beside him, earning himself a nasty glare from the man. "Don't be mean to Ynnie, she's just excited to perform."

"I'm so sorry. Let me rephrase that," he clears his throat, setting his phone down in his lap, "Oh my gosh, I know! It's all you've talked about since this morning!" he squeaks, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," you mumble, rolling your eyes at your grumpy member.

Before Minho has the chance to respond, your entire world is shaken when another car T-bones you from the right.

Time seems to slow down as the car is flipped, sending you out of your seat towards the ceiling of the car. Your seatbelt manages to control some of the damage to your head, but it slices into your neck from the pressure. Blood starts to drip out of your wound, but you don't even feel it as your hazy gaze travels over to your members.

Your breath hitches in your throat as your eyes land on Felix's still body in the back seat, his eyelids draped shut. He doesn't appear to have any other injuries, but you're immediately ripped away from the sight of Felix when you hear Minho groan in pain. You Jeongin a quick once over, and upon seeing no visible injuries, keep your eyes moving. You don't miss the way Jeongin's hands are firmly grasped around Felix's forearm as he shakes the older man, trying to wake him.

It's painful to twist in your seat, but you do so anyway. Catching a glimpse of Minho, you see a jagged piece of glass protruding out of his forearm. It appears small, but you know it must still hurt like a bitch. Other than that he looks okay, so you continue to look over your remaining members. His eyes are panicked as he frantically looks over the four of you. "You guys ok?" his voice shakes with fear, and his teeth are clenched from the pain radiating from the glass in his arm.

The ringing in your ears starts to subside a bit, and the grunts coming from your right get louder. Seungmin's arm is twisted at an unnatural angle, and there's blood dripping from his left eyebrow. You can't bring yourself to answer Minho, the shock still clouding your mind.

As the rest of your senses start to come back to you, your focus remains on Seungmin as he huffs in pain. You feel a stinging sensation in your thigh, but as you slowly start to drop your head to look, you feel a shaky finger reach under your chin.

Seungmin's reached his hand out, gently pulling your chin until your eyes meet his again.

"Just keep looking at me, Yn," he whispers. You do as you're told, but the pain is worsening by the second, and your breathing starts to quicken.

All else is tuned out as your eyes remain on Seungmin's unwavering gaze.

Seconds feel like hours as you sit there in the car. Your eyelids start to become heavy, and you fuzzily catch Seungmin's eyes turn frantic as your blinks become slower and more frequent.

"Just keep your eyes open, don't fall asleep," he repeats. His word are gentle at first, but as your mind turns to mud, his voice becomes louder and urgent, almost screaming at you. You feel a rough hand grab your shoulder from behind, shaking you. Their attempts to keep you awake are futile, though, as everything becomes too much for you to handle.

"No, don't close your eyes! Stay with me!" and that's the last thing you hear before you drift off into the darkness.

~ ~ ~

You're awoken to the sound of quiet repetitive beeping.

Opening your eyes is a task all in itself, your eyelids feeling impossibly heavy.

After a moment of struggle, you're met with the bright light from a window to your right. You slowly turn your head to the side, and you see Hyunjin, Chan, and Changbin all perched on the couch. It looks uncomfortable, the way all three of them are scrunched up on the little loveseat.

You let your gaze linger on them for a moment, their presence providing a calming sensation for your jumbled mind.

Suddenly, your surroundings overwhelm you. You become terribly aware of all the wires connected to you. The ECG stickers become your biggest enemy, and the IV sticking out of your hand makes you angry.

Really angry.

You groan when you try to lift your arm, a sharp, shooting pain radiating down from your shoulder. You push through the pain though, urgent to remove all these wires from your body. The bandages littering your body feel as if they're burning your skin, and you've never needed to get something off of you faster.

You begin to peel the bandages from your arms, the pain from the adhesive no match for the pain you had been feeling previous to their removal.

Your agonistic groans manage to wake Changbin, and he panics when he sees you frantically tearing at your ECG stickers.

He jumps up from the couch, earning a yelp from Hyunjin as he was using Changbin as a pillow.

You're too overwhelmed to care about their actions as you continue to tear at your skin, even the blankets covering your body feeling like burning coals on your skin.

"Woah, what are you doing? You can't take those off yet," Changbin tells you, rushing to your side to try and restrain your arms.

"They're hurting me," you mumble, wretching your arms out of Changbin's grip to continue to pull at everything that touches you.

"Yn," Hyunjin gasps, quickly standing to his feet, running over to help Changbin.

Chan awakens from the commotion, alarm bells immediately sounding in his head when he sees your panicked movements.

You become more frantic when Hyunjin grabs one of your arms from Changbin, rendering you immobile.

"Get off!" you screech, yanking on your arms as hard as you can. Chan quickly runs out of the room in search of any healthcare professional he can find.

"You're gonna hurt yourself," Hyunjin struggles against you, holding tightly onto your hand.

"Let me go!" you continue to scream like a banshee, "You're hurting me!"

Neither do as you say, fearing for what you'll do to yourself if they listen.

"You're ok," Changbin pleads, bringing one of his hands away from your arm to rest it gently on your forehead. "Please calm down, everything will be ok."

You're too panicked to notice Chan re-enter the room, a nurse trailing in behind him.

She has a shot in her hand, and she hurriedly comes up beside Changbin to administer the drug. She hastily inserts the needle into your upper arm, and it only takes seconds for your demeanor to soften. Your thrashing becomes weaker, and your shouts become quieter, turning into soft mumbles.

The guys let out a sigh upon seeing your eyes close, your stature finally relaxing into the hospital bed once again.

"What the hell was that?" Hyunjin huffs, slightly out of breath from the physical altercation.

"Sometimes patients can be violent when they wake up out of a coma. It can happen to anyone," the nurse explains, taking the chart off the wall beside the bed. "We'll get some soft restraints to put on her arms before she wakes up again. It's unlikely for her to panic again, but it's just a precaution."

The guys nod, all three of them staring at your now peaceful face.

~ ~ ~

The next time you wake up, you feel as if you're experiencing deja vu. Your eyes open slowly, and you wince at the feeling of them being crusted over from sleep.

You also become strikingly aware of the aching pain radiating from your thigh. Your leg remains immobile, and you feel the constricting cast running from your mid thigh down to your ankle.

You go to bring your hand up to rub your face, but your movements are restricted. Your attention is brought to your hands, now laying limply by your side. There are restraints covering your wrists. Your face contorts into an expression of confusion, and you glance at the couch to your right.

Seated there are Chan, Hyunjin, and Changbin. Your deja vu hits you harder when you see them resting against one another, sleeping soundly.

"Chan," you call out to him, your voice surprisingly hoarse, your throat scratchy and raw.

He immediately jolts up, waking the other two in the process.

"Hey, you're awake," he says, getting up from the couch.

He's cautious as he walks over to you, taking slow steps to get to your bed. Changbin and Hyunjin watch from the couch, keeping their distance. Their expressions rival Chan's, somehow looking even more timid.

"Hi," you suddenly feel shy under their gazes, "Why are you looking at me like that? I can't even move; can we get these things off of me."

"Yea, sorry, the nurse said it was just precautionary. I'll go get someone to take them off of you," Hyunjin gets up from the couch, hurrying out into the hallway.

Realization dawns on you, and you bring your eyes to meet Chan's again. "Did I hurt someone? What happened?"

"You were trying to hurt yourself," a nurse enters the room, answering the question for Chan. "You were in a coma for a couple days. Sometimes, when patients wake, they can turn aggressive. Which you did, but nobody was hurt, the boys stopped you before you could do any damage."

You just nod, not entirely sure how to respond. She explains in more detail what had happened as she takes the restraints off your wrists.

"We had to sedate you, so you were out for an additional day. On the bright side, your coma allowed for your body to do some of the tough healing while you were unconscious. You had a surgery on your thigh the night you were brought in due to a compound fracture in your femur. The surgery was successful. It seems to be doing well for now, of course we'll have to bring you back in for some check-ups, but you should be good to go for now."

Your eyes widen as she goes on and on. Chan sits beside you, rubbing a hand up and down your back to help comfort you. The nurse continues about the paperwork, and leaves to gather it so you can leave.

"How are you feeling?" Changbin asks from the end of your bed.

"Overwhelmed," you answer curtly. The thought of not being able to perform for a while hurts your heart. Not only that, but you can't even walk!

Your suddenly hit with a wave of memories from the night of the accident, and your eyes water at the thought of the rest of your members who were in the car with you.

"Are the other guys alright? Where are they?" your voice is panicked as you ramble off questions.

"They're ok, we promise," Chan reassures you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. "They went home a couple days ago to rest. None of them got hurt as badly as you did. They all got some stitches, Seungmin's got a broken arm, and Felix has a pretty nasty concussion, but they're ok."

You sigh in relief, allowing your head to rest on Chan's shoulder.

The nurse comes back in, a folder filled with paperwork in hand. "As soon as you fill these out, you'll be good to go! Your medications and dosages are in this little baggy. You had some lacerations on your side, but we just covered them with butterfly bandages. The stitches on your neck can be taken out at your next appointment. Just be weary of them as you go about your day, try not to turn your head too quickly," she instructs, handing over the paperwork.

Within a few minutes, everything is filled out and you've been put in a wheelchair. Chan stands behind you, wheeling you out towards the van. Hyunjin carries your crutches from beside you, and Changbin holds your medicine and the paperwork.

Getting in the car was a hassle all in itself, as your leg felt like a million pounds with the cast on it. Your hip was so sore from laying in bed for so long, so you opted to have Chan lift you into the car.

Once finally settled, you lean back against the seat and close your eyes. You don't want to admit it, but you know these next few months are going to be difficult.

~ ~ ~

It's been a few weeks now, and things have started to go back to how they were before the accident. This is the first regularly scheduled week since then, and you're grateful for the normalcy.

Your managers had put everything on hold for a while, allowing you and the rest of your members to recover some. They knew it was a difficult time for all of you, and you were thankful for their leniency.

You have been spending most of your time on the downstairs couch, lounging around in front of the T.V. Various members would join you throughout the day, helping you with whatever you needed. Chan has certainly been the most doting, running at your every beck and call.

Today was no different; Chan decided to stay home with you while the rest of the members went to dance practice. He knew it'd probably put him behind, but they weren't set to perform for a good while, so he'll just catch up a different day. Plus, he knows Minho can handle them all just fine without him there.

The two of you are lounging on the couch, watching one of your favorite T.V shows, when Chan gets up to use the bathroom.

You hear the door close, and realize now's your chance. Your stomach's been growling for the past hour, but you didn't want to make Chan make you something.

However, you are done being the world's longest lounging couch potato, so you rise to your feet, grabbing your crutches from beside you, and make your way into the kitchen.

You know you don't have long before Chan finds you, so you ravage through the fridge quickly to try and find something to eat. You see your leftovers from the other night neatly packed away, so you grab those.

You carefully set your crutches down, leaning them on the counter next to you before hopping, leftovers in hand, to the microwave.

Unfortunately, the rug in front of the sink slips beneath you, and you fall onto the ground, your leftovers opening and spilling out onto you.

"Oh for fuck's sake," you sigh. Thankfully, you're not hurt, your butt just a little sore, but some of the sauce now decorates your cast.

You hear the door fling open from down the hall, and a frantic Chan bursts into the kitchen a mere second later. "What are you doing?" he's panicked as he rushes over to you, his arms looping under yours to pull you up.

"I was just going to heat these up because I was hungry, but then I slipped. I'm fine," you lightly push Chan away from you, knowing fully well that you can stand on your own.

He looks slightly taken back by your attitude, but nevertheless moves towards you again. He wraps his arms around you in an attempt to pick you up, no doubt to carry you back into your permanent spot on the living room couch, but you give him a firmer shove this time. "Did I hurt you?" he worries, his eyebrows scrunching.

"No, I just want to walk to the bathroom myself and get cleaned up," you explain, doing your best to keep your composure.

"I can help, let me grab you a wash rag for your cast," he bends down next to you, rummaging through the cupboard.

"Chan, please," you sigh. As much as you loved being babied at first, enough is enough. "I need some time by myself. I love you guys, but I'm not sure I've had a moment alone since the accident." Your arms are crossed as he stands, a pout forming on his face.

"But we just want to help you," he says, puppy-dog eyes on full display.

"And I thank you for all you guys have done the past month, but I really need to start doing things for myself again," you reach past him, grabbing your crutches and head down the hall to your bathroom. "Now to get this sauce off me," you mumble as you push the door open with the end of your crutch.

~ ~ ~

You're laying on your bed later in the day, knee propped up on a plump pillow to help alleviate some of the pain from your aching leg, when you hear a knock on door.

You tell them to come in, and the door opens to reveal Chan. "Hi," he's timid as he walks in. He takes a seat on the edge of your bed, a guilty look on his face.

"What's up?" you ask, sliding your bookmark into the crease of your novel.

"I wanted to apologize on behalf of all of us. We've been really clingy since the accident, and we didn't realize we were overstepping."

"Chan," you sigh, adjusting yourself to sit next to him. "Please don't beat yourself up about this. Honestly, I was just a little frustrated earlier and took it out on you. You guys have helped me more than you know these last few weeks. I really don't mind all the doting."

His eyes light up at that. "Really?" his voice is giddy, and you regret that you were the cause of his sadness before.

While the overprotectiveness really did get on your nerves a bit, if it brings them that much happiness to take care of you, you suppose you can get past your grumpiness and let them do it.

"Really."

"Guys, she changed her mind!" he yells, and not even a second later, your door swings open, seven smiling faces staring back at you.

They hurry into your room, clumsily fighting each other to sit on your bed. They're still cautious of your leg, but they all manage to fit, even if a little squished.

"Don't make me regret this," you joke, ruffling Seungmin's hair from where he's laid out on your lap.

"You know you love us," Chan comments, smirking at you.

"I certainly do."

#ily #thank youuuu #stray kids #skz

[skzstannie]

💬: please speak english

🥟: that’s very nice ☝️🤭

#hyunjin #skz #stray kids #missed the live #of course I did

[skzstannie]

This was so cute 🥹🥹

Waiting for us

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Seungmin X gn reader

Summary: After going to a carnival and getting stuck at the top of a ferris wheel, you crumble in your boyfriend's arms.

Genre: Comfort/hurt

Word Count: 5K

Trigger warning: Heights, anxiety, depression, mentions of nausea, parental issues, child abuse and neglect, self-hatred, self-harm, and mentions of not eating.

A/N: To whoever requested this, I don't know how you feel about carnivals. I don't know how you feel about ferris wheels and heights either, so I guessed. One of my most precious memories is my local county fair during warm summer days. I hope this warms your heart as much as it warms mine <3

_ _ _

You were playing pretend again. You were like a dancer frozen in time and trapped in a music box. Life cranked the knob and the music twinkled in the background. You spun, not because you wanted to, but because you had to. 

Life was hard, it always seemed to be. The weight of mental issues on your shoulders made it worse. Around and around you went playing the game of life. However, lately, it was just…different. 

The gears in your music box had rusted over time. They creaked and your music was beginning to warp. Years of endless dancing made you grow fatigued. You could barely find the effort to keep going and yet, you continued on and on. 

You were supposed to be happy today. You were trying your best, you really were. Your boyfriend had the whole day free and the two of you were supposed to enjoy the carnival together. He met you at the door with a grin and you tried to return it, but something was off. 

He noticed how defeated you looked instantly, but he ignored it. Feelings for you were fickle and you tended to struggle with them a lot. Talking about them was difficult and it made you uncomfortable. 

He didn’t know what it was, but he knew that you were off. The brown bags beneath your eyes had shifted to plum purple. Your cheeks seemed a bit more hollow than usual. There was a lingering darkness that surrounded you, but he didn’t know how to bring it up. 

Feelings for both of you, it was a bit of a struggle. Neither of you wanted to be a bother towards the other. It was one of the things that you both needed to work on in the relationship. 

When you arrived, you had high expectations. You thought the situation would cheer you up, but it didn’t. Carnivals were supposed to be filled with bright colors. Laughing people and screams from carnival rides. The oiled scent of fried food and the bubbling of excitement flowing through your veins. 

Everything felt entirely different this time. The colors were more muted and the background sounds seemed faint. The scent of fried food made your stomach churn with nausea. You couldn’t imagine eating a single bite without throwing up. 

You felt empty on the inside and you’d felt that way for a while. After a slew of personal issues, it was difficult to find your happiness. Things tended to control you more than you wanted them too. You didn’t know how to stop it. 

There were eyelets in your limbs with strings laced through. You were pulled in different directions and none of those were in the direction you wanted to go. A puppet on a string, you struggled with everything. 

Beside you, the warmth of Seungmin’s hand clutched yours firmly. He let you through the entrance after the two of you paid and he stopped on the path that led down the way. 

“So what do you want to do first?” 

Your eyes scanned the area as you debated. The more you saw, the more you just wanted to go home. Your anxiety was growing with the more people you saw and it was overwhelming. 

“What do you want to do?” You asked. 

Seungmin clicked his tongue and glanced around the area. “Well, I suppose we can go on the ferris wheel if you’re not a chicken.” 

“I’m not a chicken and I don’t mind heights.” 

“That’s what they all say.” 

“Are you challenging me?” 

“It’s not a challenge if you cop out.” 

“Fine, let’s get wristbands and then we can go on the ferris wheel. Just for that, we’ll go on it more than once. I’m not a chicken.” 

“You’d look cute with tail feathers.” 

You rolled your eyes and walked with Seungmin towards a ticket booth. Since you planned to spend a few hours here, you both decided it was a better option to get wristbands. Who knew how many rides the two of you’d go on. 

After retrieving your wristbands, the two of you headed to the ferris wheel. Since the carnival was in a larger city, the ferris wheel was bigger too. Small colorful enclosed baskets went high up into the setting sun before they curved and came back down. 

Soon, the neon lights in the place would be turned on. Seungmin specifically brought you here for that reason. Everything looked better in the evening at carnivals. The neon colors popped and the air was electrified.

When neon colors clashed together with upbeat pop music and laughter from everyone, it was otherworldly. To experience something by yourself and yet everyone was experiencing the same thing around you in their own little bubbles, it was magical and he loved it. 

The cabins looked like hot air balloons. The wide tops bulged out with the help of curved titanium rods and the supporting frame. The baby blue frame had been detailed with royal blue shadows to create the illusion of a basket. 

Neon lights wrapped around the whole piece and glittered neon blue when the time was right. Other baskets were created similar and with different colors. The whole thing was much larger and more sophisticated than the average county fair ferris wheels with metal bucket seats. 

When it was your turn, Seungmin gently led you in front of him and let go of your hand. The attendant held open the small metal gate for you to climb in. Once you were in, Seungmin moved to the opposite side and sat down. 

There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of you. You lied to Seungmin, you hated heights, but you knew that he liked the ferris wheel. Seungmin liked anything with beautiful detailing and photographic qualities. He was probably going to take photos of the view and upload them to Bubble later. 

A round table sat in the center of the two of you. You let your arms rest on it and let out a soft sigh as the two of you were slowly eased up. The soft breeze was enough to catch your hair and pull it back. When Seungmin realized it, he let out a small laugh. 

You pulled up your arm and let your chin rest on your hand. Trying to ignore the growing fear, you let your eyes shut. Seungmin pulled out his phone and began to snap photos. 

“I think I was wrong about you. It’s clear that you’re not a chicken.” 

“I told you,” you mumbled. Your stomach churned and the beginning of nausea was beginning to creep up. You forced yourself to suck in a deep breath and try to calm down. 

The ride kept going up and then stopping as more people got on until it finally began going up and didn’t stop. Your eyes squeezed shut tighter and you eventually shifted. Your palms dug into your eyes as you buried your head in your hands. 

The movement caused Seungmin to glance over. He frowned and spoke up. “Hey, are you okay?” 

“I hate heights,” you mumbled. 

“Then why did yo-” 

“Because you wanted to see the view and I didn’t want to let you down. You were teasing me and I didn’t want you to think I was a coward.” 

“Baby, you know I was just kidding, right? If you would have said something, I wouldn’t have made you go on the ride. I could have gone by myself and gave you some money to go get a snack or something.” 

“I don’t want your money!” You snapped. The situation wasn’t such a big deal, but with everything going on in your life recently, you were upset. Things kept going wrong and the pressure gauge was beginning to crank up. How long were you going to keep things to yourself until you blew? 

Seungmin stared at you for a moment, unsure of what to do. There was more tension between the two of you. He couldn’t see your face as you hid it with your hands, but he knew you were struggling. 

The longer the silence went on, the more he realized he needed to say something. It was clear that you weren’t going to address the elephant between the two of you. Something was going on with you and if he had to, he was going to pry it from you. 

He opened his mouth to say something, but a loud creaking sound interrupted. Down below, someone screamed. Your hands jerked from your face and you looked around with wide eyes. The ferris wheel halted with you and Seungmin stuck at the top. 

Gears ground together and shouts filled the air. In the middle of your panic, you slipped your hand into Seungmin’s and he squeezed it back lightly. You sucked in a shaky breath and squeezed your eyes shut again. 

“What’s going on?” Someone shouted at the ride operator down below. 

The ride operator had hit the emergency stop button when things started to go wrong. He cupped his hands together and yelled back, so everyone could hear him. 

“I don’t know, but hang tight. Don’t worry, we’ll get it figured out soon enough. You guys might be stuck for a bit.” 

Around the wheel, there were a plethora of different responses. Below you, someone complained and another one groaned. Someone else tried to see the positive side of things and complemented the view. Your heart pounded in your chest as you kept hold of Seungmin’s hand. 

“Are you okay?” Seungmin spoke softly. 

All you could do was frantically shake your head back and forth. Seungmin shifted in his spot and the cabin began to rock slightly. Your panic grew until the comforting scent of Seungmin’s cologne filled your nose. 

“Don’t worry, I’m right here, I’ve got you.” He wrapped an arm around your neck and tugged you closer. Comforted, you buried your head into the side of his shoulder. 

With his other hand, he reached over and gently began to loop his fingers through your hair. The soft gesture always comforted you when you were struggling. You buried your head further into his shoulder, but it wasn’t enough. 

You wanted to block the world out and forget this entire thing happened. You wanted to be back on solid ground. You wanted the comfort of your bed. You wanted your heavy limbs to find comfort in the cotton sheets and silk pillowcases. 

“Come here.” 

You didn’t fight it when he gently pulled your body closer. The way he moved you around, you felt like a small child. His fingers found your hips and he pulled you onto his lap. Your legs straddled his and the table behind you pressed against your back. 

Seungmin shifted back and you fell back with him. Your head landed on the curve of his collarbone. His arms wrapped around the small of your back. Despite the horrific scenario, you found yourself being comforted. 

“Is that better?” 

“Mm-hmm.” 

His left hand began to lightly draw patterns on your back. He could feel how tense you were in his arms. You were worked up about everything. 

“It’s alright, I’ve got you and I won’t let go.” 

“Promise?” 

“I promise.” 

The breeze picked up and swept your hair off to the side. Seungmin’s head rested back against one of the metal poles. In the distance, birds were happily chirping and unaware of your predicament. 

Seungmin was nervous, but he wasn’t outright terrified. He knew the ride operator was trained and the carnival had protocols in place. He knew that they’d know what to do to get them out of the situation safely. Besides, being worked up about it would only add to your stress. 

In his chest, your eyes were squeezed shut. You sucked in deep breaths trying to find rhythm in the madness. Your fingers clutched the back of Seungmin’s shirt. After a while, he began to hum, hoping it’d calm you down. 

When you began to relax, he let out a sigh of relief. He let his eyes shut and continued to find comfort in you. You were his warmth. You were there for everything for him and he wanted to be there for you too. 

“Baby, I think we need to talk about something.” 

You shifted your head with your eyes shut. Instead of being buried in his chest, your cheek pressed against it instead. You kept your eyes shut, so you didn’t have to see the staggering view down below. 

“Hmm?” 

“I don’t want to ruin our day, but I really think I need to talk to you about some stuff. I know feelings are uncomfortable for you, but over the past few weeks…no,” he shook his head. “It’s been longer than that. I should have brought it up, but you like your independence. I know you find it hard to lean on me.” 

A lump began to fill the back of your throat. Despite the closed eyes, you could feel the burn of tears welling up. You thought you were doing a good job, but clearly not. He knew something was wrong. 

“I don’t like seeing you suffer alone. You mean everything to me, you know? I’m sorry I don’t say it enough, but I mean it. I’m not good with words, but you make me feel mushy on the inside.” 

“Everyone says you’ll come around when you’re ready, but you haven’t. You just slowly keep getting worse and worse. I’m afraid for you, baby. I’m afraid something is seriously wrong and I know how you struggle. You’ll drown silently before you ever reach out for help.” 

“It’s partly my fault, I should have brought it up sooner. I just…” He trailed off and squeezed his arms around you tighter. “I’m so afraid of saying the wrong thing and losing you. So please, please tell me what’s on your mind. Maybe I can’t fix it, but you don’t have to do it alone.” 

Your breathing hitched as your fingers curled into him tighter. You weren’t sure how to get the words out. You didn’t know how to say it, but you had to try. He was right, you were tired of drowning. 

“Do you ever…do you ever just feel like everyone’s against you?” Your voice came out shrill. You tried to swallow to hide it, but it stayed there. “Like no matter what you do, you just can’t win?” 

“Sometimes, yes, but I remember all the good in my life and I focus on that. I cherish the little things I have and the relationship I have with the people around me. I have my band, my fans, and my family. Plus, I-” 

“They hate me,” you weakly got out. 

“Huh?” 

“My family.” 

Your eyes finally opened to view the scene down below. Your teeth sunk into the soft skin of your bottom lip as you tried not to sob. Below you, friends and families were gathered and laughing. 

You could see them now. The mothers on the carousel holding their kids up and making sure they’re okay. The fathers clutching the handles of the rides and screeching in delight as their child giggles beside them. 

The sickly sweet artificial taste of bright pink cotton candy melting on the tongue of a three-year-old. Above them, their parents beam and ask how it tastes. It’s the first time they’ve ever had something this sweet before. 

On the other side of the carnival, a grandparent is playing skeeball with their grandkid. The two are laughing and the grandparent feels like a kid again. The potential of winning a large prize makes them aim carefully and try their hardest. 

A couple is announcing their pregnancy to their parents right before they play mini golf. They’re all so thrilled, the parents are hugging and kissing. The soon to be parents are ecstatic and clutching tightly to each other via hands. 

Parents are everywhere. It’s the adopted kid who happily runs and leads his adopted father towards his favorite ride. It’s the stepkids who are warming up to their new stepmother. They’re nervous and looking over at their father for reassurance. He breaks the ice by buying them all lemonade and sprinkled candy apples. 

Families and parents were everywhere. Compared to what you went through with yours, this was like a mini trip to hell. You couldn’t help, but feel stung by defeat being here. In front of Seungmin, while admitting this, you felt three inches tall. 

Your limbs were weighed down with sadness and melancholy. The scene was beautiful up here and yet, you couldn’t help, but feel blue. The sky was filled with swirls of lavender and citrus oranges. Some god had blown the sky full of confectionary kisses, but you couldn’t focus on it. 

There was an ache in your bones and a longing. A longing for a life of love. Being in a romantic relationship didn’t fill the void left behind by parental issues and it never would. You could be in the happiest relationship and the hollowness could still creep up. 

Everyone wants to be nurtured and loved. Every kid deserves to be loved, but not every person deserves to be a parent. There are no regulations as to who can be a parent. For some, it’s the best thing to ever happen to them. For others, it’s a life-long burden. 

“Am I difficult to love?” You went on. “Is there something wrong with me? I don’t think my mother loves me very much. I thought I meant everything to her, but lately with her actions, she just…” You trailed off, unable to finish. “I just want to be good enough.” 

Seungmin’s heart cracked in his chest at your words. The ooze of hurt surrounding you filled the air and it curdled his marrow. You were the love of his life, how could someone not love you? 

It was like someone had gotten out the scissors and began to snip through his heartstrings. Every word you uttered, it was another snip and another gust of pain. How could your parents not love you? 

“Is that how you feel?” 

“I can’t handle it, Seungmin.” 

The use of his name and not a pet name was like a slap to the face. 

“It’s killing me and I-I can’t deal with it. How do I become someone else?” Tears started to drip down your cheeks. “How do I become better? How can I be a better kid? What am I missing?” 

“Do I need to act differently? Do I need to get plastic surgery done, so I can look better? I feel like my mother’s little barbie doll. She controls me, but she doesn’t really love me. I want to be loved. I want to be needed. I want to be wanted, and I-” 

Your voice broke off. Seungmin shut his own eyes trying not to cry at your words. He knew you had issues with your family, but he didn’t know it was this bad. You hid everything so well. You kept it from everyone and kept it locked away because that’s what good children did. 

Good children shut up about the abuse and neglect they received for the sake of their parents’ image. They uphold the look that their parents have conjured up. They do such a good job, you’d never know. 

You’d never realize those bags beneath their eyes are from lack of sleep. You’d never know how much they’ve been screamed at. You wouldn’t know how much they’ve destroyed themselves to keep their parents happy. A child will do anything to please a parent. 

On and on it goes until a child breaks. The moment you do, there’s a target on your back. You’re not strong enough, you’re not brave enough, you’re not smart enough, and you’re not good enough. Just wanting their approval, you believe them. How could you not? You just want to make your parents happy. 

But bad parents deserve to be outed. It is a privilege to have a child. You are creating the next generation. You have a choice in playing a role in what type of person you want your child to become. 

How dare you break them down into bits of self-hatred and disgust when somewhere out there, another mother would kill to have a chance to lift their child up. Someone out there dreams of telling their child that they are precious. Someone strokes the face of a child in their dreams and they will never have it. 

“It hurts. It hurts so much and I feel like I can’t do anything right. I can barely eat and I’m either not sleeping or I’m sleeping all the time. I feel like I’m slowly rotting from the inside out. I don’t know how to escape it. It got so bad the other day that I…I…” 

The words got stuck in your throat and they wouldn’t come out. It hurt to admit that everything got so bad that you needed some sort of release. Shaken like soda, you were ready to explode. Self-harming had always been a release for you. 

It made you feel like you were doing something right. You were punishing yourself for everything you weren’t. For not being good enough. For not being able to endure the pain. For not being strong enough. For being unloveable. 

Your blood was tainted with sadness. It oozed out bright red and all you could do was watch with a sigh of relief. For once, you were finally doing something right when everything else seemed to be wrong. 

You didn’t have to finish the sentence, but Seungmin knew. His arms tightened around you and he pulled your body towards him even more. He wanted to take it all away. He’d embody this sadness and soak it up like a sponge if he could. 

Your breathing grew ragged as you tried not to cry. You were outside, but there were people below you on either side. If you started to sob, you knew you’d gain their attention. Plus, it might stress out the ride operator down below. 

“Hey, hey, hey, shhh.” Seungmin’s hand comfortingly rubbed your back. “It’s alright, it’s okay, I’ve got you.” 

Your voice tightened again, “I just want to be loved.” 

“And loved, you are. It seems like I need to do a better job at showing you that because you don’t feel like it. You mean everything to me and I’m sorry your parents are that way.” 

“You’ve grown up and turned into such a wonderful person. It’s shitty that they can’t see that. Despite everything, you have turned out amazing. You have a golden heart. You’re precious on the inside and out.” 

“Do you really think that I’d fall in love with just anyone?” He continued. “I’m so picky with who I date that Lee Know believed I was destined to be alone for the rest of my life and then I met you.” 

“I’m a burden.” 

“If you mean making me stutter like an idiot and making my heart flutter, then yeah, you’re a burden. You’re a burden when you send me those goofy selfies and make me blush so hard that I can’t help, but smile because you look cute.” 

“You’re such a burden because every time you text me during rehearsals, I blush and look like an idiot in front of my band members. Do you know how many times I’ve been teased by the old man?” 

You sniffled. 

“Every time he teases me, I tell him that it must be hard for him. Not a single person has looked his way. Why do you think he’s always flirting with the fans on Bubble? He’s like a dog in heat. When he’s horny, everyone knows about it.” 

The sudden confession made you snort. Seungmin smiled and kept talking. “You’re my pride and joy. You know how you have your photocards of me in your wallet? Yeah, well, I made some of you.” 

“Really?” 

“Duh! I’ve gotta be ready to show off my significant other at all times. I could talk about you for hours. You know what?” 

“What?” 

“You’ve got me so smitten that I asked Hyunjin for date recommendations. You know how he’s the romantic one? Yeah, I caved. You’ve got me wrapped around your little fingers.” 

“Really?” 

“Mm-hmm.” 

You sat up with teary eyes and another sniffle. Seungmin stared at you and gently brushed his thumbs beneath your eyes. “Oof.” His face scrunched up. “Crying doesn’t look the best on you.” 

You ignored his teasing comment. “And what did Hyunjin say? What was his suggestion?” You reached up with your palms and rubbed the wet tears away. 

“Look at me.” 

You pulled your hands away and glanced up at him. You didn’t have time to react as he cupped your face. Before you knew it, he tilted his head and connected your lips. 

Up above the world, the two of you shared a soft kiss. Your lips were seeped in salt from your tears, but he didn’t care. All your previous negative thoughts began to fall away. 

So wrapped up in everything, you forgot about the person who meant the most to you. You forgot about the joy he brought. You forgot how he seemed to melt away every bad thought and warm your heart. Your arms wrapped around his neck and he tugged your hips closer. 

“I got it!” A voice called from down below. There was a creak and the ride began to boot up. Around the two of you, there was a faint hum and the neon blue bulbs around your basket tinkered to life. 

You pulled away from Seungmin wide-eyed and breathless. The two of you glanced around and the ride began to descend. Seungmin’s arms stayed wrapped around your waist. 

“We’re going down?” 

“We’re going down,” he echoed. 

“Thank, fuck.” 

He leaned back when you let your chin drop to his shoulder. Your arms wrapped around his back and you let out a final sigh of relief. His hands found your back. 

“I know I’m not perfect and I won’t be able to give you what your parents couldn’t. I just hope you realize how good you are and how much you mean to me. Your parents are assholes and you deserve the entire world. I’d do anything for you.” 

“I just wish things were better with them.” 

“I know. The next time you feel like hurting yourself, please talk to me. I don’t want you to feel like that ever again. Even if you don’t want to talk about it, I’ll make an exception and let you cuddle me.” 

“Really?” You pulled away from him with bright eyes and a smile. He nodded with a fluttering heart. You looked good with a smile. 

“Um…” Your smile fell. “I’m sorry for ruining our date. That was a lot and I-” 

“No worries, it’s okay. I’m glad we got to talk about it. You know how I said crying doesn’t look good on you? Your best look is the one where you’re smiling.” 

“What if I was wearing something ugly?” 

“Doesn’t matter, the smile brings it together.” 

“You’re being cheesy now.” 

“Hyunjin said being cheesy was good.” 

“You should stop getting dating advice from Hyunjin. I don’t want to date him, I want to date you. We should just do whatever you want to do.” 

“I’m so sorry this happened. Please forgive me!” The ride operator was incredibly apologetic as he opened the small metal gate. “Were you crying? I’m sorry!” 

“It’s alright,” you smiled at him and shifted off of Seungmin. 

The two of you left the basket and you were happy to finally be back on the ground. Seungmin linked his hand through yours and shook his head. “You’re right, I’m never listening to Hyunjin ever again.” 

“What do you want to do then?” 

“I want to go get us our favorite slushies. Try not to cry and season yours with your tears. I highly doubt salty slushies taste good and I’m not buying you another one.” 

“Touché.” 

He led you through a path of people and towards a slushie stand. As you passed a stand with fried food, your stomach loudly rumbled. Your cheeks went bright red as you mumbled an apology. You hadn’t eaten in so long that your hunger was finally starting to come back. You felt a million times better after the conversation with Seungmin. 

“Scratch that, we’ll get food and then we’ll get slushies. I bet I can eat more fried food than you.” 

“No way!” 

Seungmin smirked, “then prove it.” 

“I will!” You stuck your tongue out at him. 

Seungmin instantly jerked his hand up and gently pinched the tip of it. You pulled away and gagged. “Ew! Gross! You’ve got cooties!” 

“And now you’re infected too. Boo-hoo. Whatever shall you do now?” 

“Another kiss?” 

“Only because I feel bad for you. My kisses are rare, you know? My lips could warm the arctic if I traveled there.” 

“I hope you never read any of Hyunjin’s poetry again.” 

“Just for that, I’m telling Chan you want to call him grandpa from now on. Since you need a new family, he can be the first one to test it out on. Just wait until he hears about this. You’re never going to hear the end of it. I’m texting the group chat and maybe you can call Lee Know ‘kitten’ or something.” 

“Seungmin, no!” 

“Last I checked, I was your baby.” 

“Baby, no!” 

He grinned and took off into the crowd. You screeched and sprinted off after him. He pulled out his phone and dodged and weaved. You yelled after him, not caring that people were staring at the two of you. 

As you flew by an elderly couple, the pair watched you dart down the path. The woman laughed as she squeezed her lover’s hand. “I remember how those days were.” 

“We were just two young kids in love. I’m glad that it’s still playful and timeless as ever. I can’t remember the last time I ran that fast.” 

“Me neither. I treasure those memories a lot. We might not be able to run, but we sure can fly. I’ve heard they're letting adults ride on the carousel. Want to give it a shot for old times sake?” 

“Of course I do, darling. If it’s with you, absolutely. I’ve said it years ago and I’ll say it again, I’d do anything for you.” 

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡|

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Baby in Training ~ Part 3

Part 1 - Part 2

MintyChanHwaFics Masterlist

Pairing: Bang Chan x former Aussie trainee!f.reader Key Points: Trainee!AU; Exes to Lovers; Dad!Chan; Childhood best friend!Felix; angst/fluff/smut Summary: You're back in Seoul for your brother's wedding after leaving suddenly six years ago. What happens when you run into the one man you've tried to avoid? And how will he react when he sees your daughter? Part 3 Word Count: 7.1k Total Word Count: 17.5k Warnings: swearing, vague timeline [Seoul Fall/Winter 2017/2018; Sydney Winter 2024], presumed 2024 world tour dates, contracts (I am not a lawyer), slight angst, lots of crying, parenthood, Aussie slang, allusions to previous relationships, neurodivergent child meltdown (phrasing is intentional but condition not discussed), allusions to anxiety/stress, Bang & Lee family characterization, tickling, angry!Felix, nicknames [Sugar Plum, Honey/Honey girl, Dandelion, Baby/Babygirl], eventual smut, emotional sex, fingering, biting, choking, protected sex, Daddy kink

Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and does not represent JYP Entertainment or Stray Kids in any way.

Taglist: @mypeanutyouth @cookiesandcreammy @ihrtlix @chansbabygirlsstuff @porangporangmeong @rylea08 @chlodavids @manuosorioh @chanandminhoenthusiast @resi4skz @younjo @skz-stay13 @bandolls @dreamerwasfound @minnieprincess85 @palindrome969

By the time the guys all have their hair and makeup done, Chris has told his entire family about you and Clara. They know to keep it from her, but they each spend a little time talking or playing with Clara, and at one point about 45 minutes before showtime, Chris has her snuggled in his lap watching a video on his phone. You take a bunch of photos of them, turning to Han after glancing around.

“No Talker today?”

Jisung shakes his head, “No, Felix convinced them to let him film a vlog instead. He’ll make sure you and Clara aren’t in it.”

You glance over at Felix, sitting with his sisters and playing a card game. You can see his vlogging camera is out and angled toward his face. He suddenly laughs at something Olivia says, and Rachel leans over to slap his arm playfully. Hannah is sitting with them, strumming an acoustic guitar and pointing out moves. You want to go over and join them, but Jisung drags you down onto the couch next to him.

“So what have you been doing here? Did you still pursue music?”

You shake your head, a sad smile on your face. “I’m a mum. I never really had the time.”

“Do you at least sing for fun?”

“I sing to Clara, with Clara actually. She loves to sing. We listen to a lot of your music.” You bump your shoulder into his.

“Chan-hyung mentioned that you’re both STAYs.”

You giggled, patting his thigh. “Yes, but I meant your music specifically. Clara loves Alien. She likes to hear it before bed. It has calmed down many night-time temper tantrums.”

He stares at you with wide eyes, glancing over at Chris and Clara. “Really?”

“Yeah. She doesn’t understand the Korean lyrics but she has quite a good babbling language that she thinks is dead accurate.” You make a sarcastic ‘oh yeah’ face at him and he laughs.

“Maybe you need to teach her Korean.”

“Please, Ji, I was always terrible at it. Worse than Felix.” This earns you a sharp bark of laughter and a questioning look from across the room when Felix hears his name. You send him a wiggling of your fingers, and he narrows his eyes at you in suspicion. You see him turn off the vlogging camera, placing his cards down next to him before he stands and makes his way over.

“You better not let him hear you say that.” Jisung says, gesturing at the approaching Felix with his head.

“Hear you say what?” Felix closes the gap between you, standing over you with a brow raised. You bite back a grin.

“That my Korean was worse than yours ever was.” You smile sweetly up at him, and he lets his eyes close briefly, tucking his tongue into his cheek and nodding his head.

“Oh, Dandelion.” He tuts at you, dropping one knee onto the couch beside you before bringing the other down on the other side of you, caging your thighs between his. His hands fly to your shoulders. “Just remember that you did this to yourself.”

Before you can blink, his fingers wrap around behind your arms and dive right into your armpits, wiggling against your skin as you squeal. Felix tickles you until you melt into the couch, sinking farther between his legs as you try to escape his fingers. Your laughter draws attention from others in the room, including your daughter, who sides with her Uncle Felix- the TRAITOR! 

“Lix! Lix, please!” You gasp, feet kicking out as your butt finally slides off the couch completely, and Felix steps back, relenting.

“I have six years of best friend torture to make up for.”

You huff, shooting him a glare with no real malice behind it. “Why is tickling your preferred torture method?”

He smiles brightly at you. “I just love hearing you laugh, noona.” You huff at him again, rolling your eyes. He extends a hand and helps you to your feet.

You hear a small grunt from behind you and turn to see Clara scrambling off of Chris, arms outstretched toward you. “Mummy, are you okay?”

“Oh, now you’re worried?” You tease, wrapping your arms around her head when she embraces you. “I’m fine, pumpkin. Thank you.”

You watch her rub at her face, seeing the tell-tale signs of exhaustion. Lifting your head, you lock eyes with Chris, still sitting in the same place as he watches you. You point to Clara and pantomime sleeping on your hands. He tilts his head, brows creasing as he glances at his phone.

“Mummy, I have to potty.” Clara interrupts your charades, and before you can answer her, your mum stands up and sighs.

“Oh good, so do I. Come on, Clara, let’s go together.” She sends you a warm smile as she holds her hand out for Clara to take. Once they’re gone from the room, you walk over to Chris.

“Clara’s got maybe an hour or two before she passes out for the night.”

“Oh.”

“She can usually stay up later than this, but with the meltdown this morning plus all the excitement here, she must be quite tired.”

You notice a small pout on his lips. “So she won’t watch us perform?”

“She might not make it more than a few songs.”

“We have an outfit change after five songs, can I say goodbye to her then?”

“I’m not saying no, Chris. She’s your daughter too.” You respond quietly, but he hears you, and he grins.

“Will you stay?” He grabs your hand, and you fight a blush.

“I don’t want to keep Clara out too late, but-”

“Can’t your mum take her? That’s what you said this morning.”

You meet his eyes, not answering right away as you search his face. “Yeah,” you finally answer, “I can stay, Mum can take her home.”

The grin that splits his face in response takes your breath away.

Sure enough, thirty minutes later the boys are getting ready to go on stage and Clara is dragging her feet as she walks. You’re in the backstage area letting the guys have their goodbyes with Clara, not that she realizes it. Your mum has already said goodbye to them and exchanged numbers with Mrs. Bang, so she’s holding Clara’s stuff while you stand in the wings with your daughter. Chris brings her a pair of over-ear headphones to prevent injuring her hearing, and he gives her a big hug.

“I’m going to go sing a few songs before you leave, okay babygirl?” He tells her from his position kneeling in front of her. Clara throws her arms around him, sniffling with sleepiness and child sadness about leaving. “Not yet, okay? Gonna sing some Stray Kids songs first.”

He shoots you a wink as he stands, and Clara rubs her face on your jeans. Chris trots over to where the rest of the members stand, just as the music begins. You pull the headphones down on Clara’s head, shuffling over for a better vantage. Suddenly the music swells and you recognize the opening notes of Megaverse. Clara taps your leg excitedly, and you nod down at her.

A staff member taps on your shoulder and gestures you over to a new spot, one where you can still see part of the stage but you can also see the monitor of the camera feed, allowing you to see the audience’s view of the stage. Clara watches in awe, hypnotized by the music and the dancing. She stays mostly still, bouncing along with the music slightly, for all five songs. At the first break, Chris and Felix start talking, thanking Sydney for welcoming them back with open arms.

A few minutes later, Chris is jogging off stage with a couple other members for their outfit changes. He spots you and smiles, running his bottom lip between his teeth as he approaches.

“Chris Bang Chan!” Clara runs to meet him ten feet away. He scoops her up and spins, carrying her back to you as he removes the headphones.

“How did we do, sweetheart?” Chris asks her, nuzzling her chin as she giggles.

“Good. I liked Megaverse the best.”

“Yeah? Me too!”

Clara giggles, and Chris squeezes her in a big hug. She yawns in his ear. “You’ve got to get some sleep, little one. Your grammy is going to take you home, yeah?”

“I don’t want to leave you!” Clara tightens her arms around his neck, and he shoots you a look of pain.

“I know, babygirl, I don’t want you to leave either. But the sooner you get to sleep, the sooner we can talk on the phone tomorrow, okay?”

“Promise?”

Chris presses his lips together as he rubs her back. “Absolutely, I promise.”

She sniffles, burying her face in his neck before she murmurs again, so quiet only you and Chris hear her. “I wish you were my daddy.”

Your heart stumbles, wishing you could assure her that he is in fact her dad, but you bite your lip instead. Chris closes his eyes, brow creasing in frustration. “Me too, Clara.” His grip on her tightens slightly and you can see the restraint in the movement. He moves to look down at her and she lifts her head. “Can we be best friends, then?”

Clara nods, her bottom lip trembling with unshed tears. Chris swipes his thumb across it with a sad chuckle, kissing each of her cheeks before setting her down.

“I’ve got to go change, I’ll see you later Clara.” He kisses her forehead and she turns, shoving her face into your thigh. He shoots you a pained expression, glancing back at the stylist waiting for him near the stage. “See you in a bit, Sugar Plum.”

You wave him off, turning and squatting to pick up Clara. “Come on, pumpkin. Let’s get you into the car.”

Rachel walks with you and your mum out to the limo from this morning. Your mum climbs in first, taking the last of Clara’s new SKZOO goodies from Rachel’s arms before calling Clara in to sit next to her. You lean in to buckle the seatbelt, kissing your mum’s cheek and then your daughter’s.

“Call me if you need anything, but don’t feel guilty if you stay out all night.” Your mum tells you with a knowing smile. Your face flushes and you roll your eyes, but you thank her anyway. Shutting the door, you watch as the limo pulls away.

Rachel threads her fingers into yours. “Come on, we only have a few minutes.”

Confused, you let her drag you back into the venue and into the waiting room from earlier. She finds her backpack and lets go of you, bending down to pull out a shirt and a small makeup pouch. “Put this on, don’t ask questions, just do it.”

You yank your tee shirt over your head and let her help you pull the corset-style top on. She reaches back to untie your hair from its messy bun, and then she shoves the makeup pouch at you. “Eyeliner, mascara, lip stain. Do them. Hurry.”

She takes the lip stain from your hands, opening it as you lean toward one of the vanities and start applying the eyeliner. Rachel cranes her head in front of yours, applying the lip stain carefully, making you pause the glide of the eye pencil. By the time she grabs a tissue to blot off the excess, you’ve completed rimming both eyes.

The tissue is shoved between your lips, eliciting a small squeak from you, and she rolls her eyes. “Relax, I’m not Minho.” It makes you both chuckle. The tissue removes the filmy feeling from your lips and you quickly swipe on two coats of mascara before accepting the outstretched lip balm. “Hydrate those lips, they’re going to get a workout later.”

You roll your eyes but do as she says, and then she packs everything back up into her bag and yanks you out backstage again.

You make it there just as a song ends and the boys start talking on stage. You hear them chuckling with each other, teasing one another about doing aegyo or silly little dances. Rachel drags you closer to the wings -- dangerously close. You can see the fans past the stage.

But you can also see Chris. He’s watching Seungmin talk from the far side of the stage, introducing the next song. Seeing Changbin, Felix, Hyunjin, and Han waiting in the wings on the other side of the stage, you realize it’s going to be another unit song. The music strikes up and when Chris wanders back toward the center of the stage, he catches your eye just as he begins to sing the opening line of Waiting For Us.

His face lights up, and you feel your heart stumble, like a rollercoaster car hovering at the highest point before launching into a freefall, throttling toward the ground only to swoop up and away in pure delight a moment before disaster. You smile back, a laugh bubbling out of you in disbelief as you swipe away a stray tear, holding his gaze when Minho takes the next line. Breaking your gaze, Chris turns back to the crowd, shaking his head ever so slightly in disbelief, and you turn to Rachel. She squeals, wiping away another tear, and wraps her arms around your waist.

Chris catches your eye once more before the song ends, during his last line, and you feel yourself blushing.

The rest of the boys enter the stage, and the next twenty five minutes are some of the most exciting you’ve had in years. You’re so close to the audio equipment, you can feel the music rattling your bones. The bass drum from the live band vibrates through you, and you swear this is what being high feels like.

By the time it’s time for another outfit change, Rachel drags you over to meet the guys coming off the stage.

Chris is the last one, and he takes out the other side of his in-ear monitor when he sees you. His eyes rake up and down your body slowly, a lazy grin spreading as his eyes finally flick up to yours.

“You changed your outfit.” His voice is low when he speaks a few feet from you.

“I couldn’t let you have all the fun, changing clothes.” You tease back, making him chuckle. A stylist comes over, holding part of his next stage outfit.

“Be right back.” He follows the stylist a few feet away to a rolling rack full of garment bags, and without a word, he peels off his shirt, untangling the monitor wire from the discarded top. The stylist takes it, handing him another item, and you glance over at Rachel.

“This is torture, watching him strip like this.” You murmur. She grins and rolls her eyes playfully.

“Please, I know you’ve seen the photos. You’re not that innocent.”

You give her a playful shove, which she returns. Olivia walks over with a couple bottles of water. You take one, opening it. “How’re you holding up, seeing Channie naked?” Liv asks and you choke on the sip you take.

“Christ almighty, Liv.” Rachel chides her between laughs, watching you swipe away the water that dribbled out of your mouth and onto your chin.

“What? It’s an honest question. It’s been, what, six years since-”

“SHHHH, OLIVIA LEE, SHUT. UP.” Rachel hisses at her sister, and Liv slaps a hand over her mouth.

“Oops!” She looks at you apologetically. “Sorry! I didn’t mean it.”

“It’s alright, Livvie.” You give her a rub on the shoulder. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Chris wandering back to you. You turn to meet him, hearing Rachel and Olivia giggle and retreat.

“How’s Clara?” He asks, pulling the bottle from your hand to take a drink from it.

“Mum said she’s fast asleep with Bbokari in her arms, and has been since the limo left the parking lot.”

Chris shakes his head, a fond smile on his face betraying his fake disappointment. “We need to get that girl a Wolf Chan plush.”

You snort, raising a brow suggestively. “Maybe her daddy can arrange that.”

It comes out instinctively but the accompanying giggle dies in your throat as you watch Chris’ face change. His eyes widen briefly before flashing with something darker, a suggestive grin pulling up the corner of his mouth and his brow raising almost imperceptibly. Before either of you can speak, Minho yells his name, summoning him back to the stage.

“Hold that thought, baby.” Chris says, voice low. His hand comes up to grab the back of your neck, dragging you against him for a hot, searing kiss that’s over just as quick as it starts. You blink a few times and watch as he jogs back over to walk onstage.

The second half of the concert flies by. You see Chris for a split second before the encore, and Hyunjin drags you into a sweaty hug that has you squealing with laughter before the makeup artist grabs him for touch-ups. Changbin hands you a towel, laughing as he playfully yells at Hyunjin. The stylists help them into their last outfits before the stage manager pushes them back toward the stage. They perform a couple more songs and then have their final ment, thanking STAY and all the staff and family and friends.

You can’t help but get emotional when Felix does, the dam bursting when he alludes to reconnecting with a childhood best friend. Rachel and Olivia sit on either side of you as you cry, watching Chris wrap Felix in his arms on the monitor. Facing the camera, you can see that his eyes are red too. Seungmin takes over the gratitudes, with Minho and Changbin teasing Felix and Chris for getting emotional. Chris snaps back playfully, citing that being in their hometown entitles them to big emotions. The crowd gets louder when he says it.

Eventually, they sing another couple songs and say more lovely things to STAY and each other before saying their final goodbyes. By the time the last one leaves the stage, you’ve dried your tears- or so you think, until Felix comes into view and you run over to throw your arms around him as he breaks down again.

Hyunjin gently ushers you both to the waiting room, guiding you to one of the couches where Felix pulls you down into a sloppy, wet hug. You both murmur apologies and promises to each other, with you grabbing his towel to wipe his face for him, causing him to babble more nonsense. He wipes away your tears with his thumb, letting out a watery laugh at the scowl you give him.

“I love you, Lix. I’m so happy to have you back.”

“I love you so much, Dandelion. I’ve missed you more than you know.”

A fresh wave of tears. “I know, Lixie, I’ve missed you too. So much. Losing Chris was painful enough, but losing you was worse. I would never have stayed away this long, I’m so sorry.”

Felix hushes you, running his hand over your face, pressing a kiss to your forehead and wrapping his arms around your neck, cradling you to his chest. “It’s okay, noona. I forgive you. Just stay, yeah? Stay with me.”

You rock in each other’s arms for a bit longer, finally noticing the other occupants of the room. Felix’s family sits with the Bangs, talking to Chris and Changbin. Jisung and Minho are in the other room seated at the table eating ramyeon, and you can hear Seungmin and Jeongin talking loudly at one of the vanities near you.

Hyunjin is slouched on the couch behind Felix, rubbing his back absentmindedly with one hand, so you move one of your hands down to squeeze it. His eyes open and he sends you a soft smile. Glancing over at where he sits with his family, you see Chris watching you. You mouth a ‘hi’ to him, and he lifts his hand in a small wave.

Felix’s hand comes up to pet your hair as he pulls back, looking down at you. “I’m sorry for dragging you into my sob fest.”

“Felix, this is not the first, nor will it be the last, time we cry together.”

He barks out a sharp laugh, face crinkling. “That’s true.” He unwraps you from his body. “I should go spend time with my family before they leave. We’ll talk more later.” He stands, offering his hand to help you up, and you kiss his cheek in thanks.

Making your way over to Chris, he holds his hand out to yank you down into his lap. His arms wrap around your waist and he kisses your shoulder.

“Are you and Felix okay now?” He asks you, brown eyes full of warmth. You nod.

“I think so. It’s been really shitty without- well, without both of you. But I hadn’t spent more than a week away from Felix since we were kids.” You sigh, leaning your forehead against his. “I was at least lucky enough to have Stray Kids content. Thank you for never leaving me the way I had to leave you both.”

Chris brings his hand up to the side of your face, rubbing your cheek. “It’s okay, baby, that’s in the past now. You’re here now, and we’re never letting you go again, yeah?”

You laugh softly, leaning into his hand. “Yeah.”

He smiles, leaning forward to capture your lips in a quick, gentle kiss. When he pulls back, he searches your face. “Stay with me tonight?”

“What?”

“I’m asking you to stay with me tonight.”

You look back and forth between his eyes, mouth agape. “But Clara-”

Chris cuts you off with a soft shake of his head. “I already talked to your mum, she said she'll take care of Clara until the afternoon tomorrow. Come to the hotel with me, stay the night.”

“I...I didn’t pack anything.”

Chris points to the bag Rachel had pulled your shirt from earlier. “Rachel did.” Your head whips around to look at your best friend, sitting a few feet away as she ruffles Felix’s hair and giggles at him.

“So you talked to everyone except me about this plan?” You ask Chris when you turn back to look at him, chewing on your bottom lip. His thumb comes up to gently pry it from your teeth.

“I didn’t want you to get in your head about it. If I gave you too much time to think, you would talk yourself out of it.”

His hand rubs small circles against your lower back as you ponder his words. Logically, you know he’s right. You’ve spent so long in survival mode, always worried about Clara or the company or the NDA. It’s been years since your last meaningful relationship, and even that was a trainwreck. Between motherhood and the unresolved trauma of being ripped from the trainee program, you never really allowed yourself to indulge in selfish desires. But being here, sat in Chris’ lap like this, his eyes pleading with you…

“Okay, I’ll stay with you tonight.”

The smile that overtakes him is so bright, you close your eyes, and he presses his hands to your face just before peppering it with kisses.

Rachel informs you that she packed a spare change of clothes and some toiletries from her own apartment in the overnight bag, but warns you she did some shopping for you as well. Here you stand in the powder room of the large suite at a five star hotel in downtown Sydney, pulling out a bag from one of those expensive boutiques nearby. You have half a mind to text Rach to yell at her for spending this kind of money, but you remember the look she gave you, darting her eyes to Chris.

“Oh God, Rach, what did you get me into?” You mutter to yourself, reaching into the bag. A soft lace meets your fingers, and when you pull it out, you unfurl it to see a lacy black bodice. Further investigation of the bag finds a matching panty, a satin and lace chemise nightgown and a matching satin robe, all in the same inky black -- Chris’ favorite color. A small note tumbles out of the folds of the fabric. Picking it up, you read Rachel’s familiar script.

I did the shopping but Chris paid, so you can’t be mad about me spending money. Get out of your head, enjoy the sex. I love you. Have fun! -xx Rach

You can’t help but roll your eyes. You spend a few minutes freshening up, knowing you have time since Chris had excused himself to take a shower. Rifling through the overnight bag, you find body wipes and your signature scented lotion. Rachel had also packed an emergency razor and shave cream, but you didn’t need it. After applying a light dusting of honeysuckle-scented body powder (or sex dust, as Rachel had called it the last time you had been at an adult store together), you give yourself one last double-take in the mirror, smoothing down the bodice and tying the robe over your lingerie.

Chris is still in the shower when you exit the powder room, so you bring the bag to the small bench under the window on the far side of the bed, laying the nightgown over the top of it for easy retrieval…later. You shoot off one last text to your mum, thanking her for tonight and promising to call in the morning, even though she’s already assured you that she and Clara will be fine. You place the phone down on the bedside table just as the shower in the conjoined bathroom shuts off.

Suddenly nervous, you settle yourself at the foot of the bed, letting your legs cross in front of you and your arms cross over your knee. A few moments later, the door opens. Chris walks out with nothing but a towel slung low on his waist, running a hand through his damp hair. The muscles of his arm flex with the motion, and you can’t help but suck in a sharp breath of air at the sight. Fuck, he’s so sexy.

His eyes meet yours, widening briefly as he takes in your appearance before narrowing, a sly grin spreading as he tucks his tongue into his cheek.

“Hey, Sugar Plum.” His voice is gravely with intention when he finally speaks, stopping just short of you. You uncross your legs, leaning your chest forward to tease him, smirking when his eyes follow the movement and darken.

“Hi. Did you have a nice shower?” You ask softly.

He swallows, nodding. “It would have been better with you in it.” His hand comes forward to cup your cheek, thumb grazing the skin affectionately.

Your heart flutters at the thought as you lean into his touch. “Maybe later, we can make that happen.” Emboldened by his touch, you trail a finger down his stomach, feeling the muscles of his abs tense under your fingertip. When you reach the top of the towel, you let your fist wrap around the tuck keeping it closed, eyes flicking up to lock with his from under your lashes. “Right now, I need you like this.”

And you yank, pulling him forward to topple on to you as you lay back. His arms shoot out to brace himself on either side of your head briefly as he slots between your legs and you yank again. His mouth finds yours in a greedy, possessive kiss, a desperate clashing of lips and teeth and tongue. You can taste the faint remnants of his toothpaste as a few stray drops of water from his hair fall on your skin. You let your hands roam his back, nails dragging down the skin when he detaches from your mouth to press hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck to your collarbone.

“God, I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve tasted you.” Chris drags his lips across your sternum to mirror his movements on the other side of your neck, biting down over your carotid hard enough to make you whimper. He licks at the bite once before biting down again, hips bucking against yours faintly.

“Chris, fuck.” You groan, hooking your legs around his waist, not making any effort to keep them there when they slide down to his thighs with his next hip thrust.

His mouth finds yours again, his forearms bracketing your face to hold you in place for a searing kiss. “I want to take my time with you, but I don’t think I can. I need to be inside you.”

Your stomach somersaults at his words, and one of his arms moves to reach for your panties. His fingers slip past the lace, tracing over your clit once, twice, three times before plunging into your depths. You gasp into his mouth when his fingertips graze your g-spot. He doesn’t move back, hovering his mouth over yours as he works you, pressing harder into you with both fingers, eyes flicking from the way your eyes scrunch closed to your bottom lip caught between your teeth. Your breathing stutters, chest tightening with his movements.

“Come on, babygirl, cum for me.” Chris leans down, trailing his tongue up your neck before biting down, suckling at the spot. His thumb moves to press against your clit. The combination of sensations overwhelms you, and your back arches as your orgasm rips through you. 

“That’s it, baby. That’s my good girl.” Chris places soft kisses over your jaw and cheek, cooing at you as you pant. His fingers, still buried in you, slow down but don’t fully stop moving. “God, you look so beautiful when you’re at my mercy like this.”

You bring your hand up to the nape of his neck, twisting in the damp hair and using that to drag his mouth back to yours. He curls his fingers inside you and you groan into his mouth. “Chris-” he bites your lip, eliciting a gasp.

He pulls away from you, withdrawing his hand from your core to drag your panties down your legs. “I promise I’ll worship you later. I can’t wait any longer.”

You lift your hips to help him, watching as he backs up off of the bed to toss the discarded panties to the floor. You sit up, shrugging out of the robe and shoving it to the side while Chris untucks his towel. Maybe your mouth waters at the sight.

“Rachel was supposed to buy condoms for us.” He says suddenly, confusing you.

“What?”

He quirks a brow at you, a smug grin on his face as he watches you ogle him. “You know, condoms? Unless you want to give Clara a sibling-”

You swallow hard at the look that passes over him, the desire for something other than your body wrenching at your heart. Clearing your throat, you answer. “I have an IUD, and I tested clean last year. I haven’t been with anyone since.”

His brows raise and you don’t miss the way his cock twitches at the implication. “So… no condoms, then?”

You shake your head slightly. “Are you worried you aren’t clean?” You tease, just because you can’t help it. His eyes narrow at you and he stalks back onto the bed, climbing on top of you as you giggle.

“I haven’t been with anyone in a long time. I was never satisfied so I just stopped fucking around.” His hand cups your breast over your bodice as he dips his head to the valley of your chest. “It’s been years. I’m clean.”

His fingers pinch your nipple through the lace and you whimper, causing him to do it again. He looks up at you, locking eyes with you as he moves to bite down on the other, teeth dragging over the lace.

“I thought you were too impatient for this?” You ask breathily. He clamps his teeth down harder.

“Don’t be a brat, baby.”

“You used to like it when I was a brat.”

He shifts suddenly, bringing his face to yours, slamming his thigh up between your legs. The impact has your clit throbbing, stars exploding behind your eyes and making you gasp. “I never said I didn’t like it.”

Chris takes advantage of your stunned pause, grabbing your thigh to slot in between your legs. The tip of his dick slides over your swollen clit when he ruts against you. Your hands fly to his shoulders. He bends down, hovering his face over yours, breathing in your small gasping and mewling, his hips slowly rocking against you to build your next climax.

“Are- mmph- are you gonna fuck me or not?”

He angles his pelvis with his next thrust, the head of his cock catching at your entrance. You instinctively clench, but he stops himself from plunging further. “Don’t- God- don’t do that. If you want me to last-”

“Just fuck me, I don’t care how quick it is.”

He captures your lips with his, his grip on your thigh shifting to hook your leg around his waist. He cages your head between his forearms, hands bracketing your face. Chris doesn’t stop kissing you as he rocks his hips forward, sliding into you so slowly, it sends shivers down your spine. Once he’s buried to the hilt, you can’t help but clench around him at the divine feeling of fullness.

He rips his mouth from yours. “Babygirl, stop, Jesus Christ.”

His head falls to your neck as he pants, trembling a little. You bring your hands to his back, stroking him reassuringly. His breath hitches, and you don’t know if that’s what does it, but tears spring to your eyes. Fighting them back, you tilt your head to press a kiss to his shoulder. “Chris-”

“Just give me a minute, baby.” His voice is barely above a whisper. So you kiss his shoulder again, softly, slowly, before gently sinking your teeth into his skin. You feel him tense briefly, and then you soothe the mark with your lips again. It distracts you long enough that no tears spill.

When he lifts his head again, you barely get a glance at him before he pins you down with another kiss, a mess of lips and tongue and teeth that has you clenching before you can stop yourself. He pulls away with a groan, throwing his head back. “God, you sinful woman.”

You bring a hand to his face, to the wetness on his cheeks. “Baby.” He angles into your hand, kissing your palm and closing his eyes. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think this would happen.” He sniffles a little, and you trail your thumb under his eye to catch the tears yet to fall.

“Why are you crying, baby?” Your other hand comes up to wipe at the other cheek. He opens his eyes to meet your concern.

“I thought I had lost you forever. I’m just so happy I have you back. It feels like I’m home.” The tears you had so valiantly fought before come right back, and you watch Chris’ face distort through the wateriness. “Oh, no, baby, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry!”

His hand comes up to wipe your cheek and you laugh awkwardly. “Oh my God, what a pair we are.” You swipe your face with the back of your hand as he giggles, leaning back in to kiss you gingerly.

When he breaks the kiss a minute later, you’ve both dried your eyes. Experimentally, you give his cock a little squeeze with your walls and he gasps, narrowing his eyes at you. “Okay, we’re going to have to talk about your listening skills because clearly-” he pushes up onto his knees, pulling your thighs forward to hook over his arms, “-you don’t know what ‘don’t do that’ means.”

He slides out of you enough to make you whimper at the loss, cocking a brow at you before thrusting forward. Your eyes roll and your back arches off the bed as he fucks into you, over and over, torturously slow.

“Goddamn, baby, you feel so good.” Chris reaches for your breast again, yanking the cup down to expose your nipple before rolling it between his fingers. “Are you still sensitive here?”

You shake your head. “N-not as much as before.”

“Really?”

“Breastfeeding a child changes things.” You manage to get out and he stills, staring down at you with an unreadable expression. After a few moments, you tilt your head questioningly. “Baby?”

It breaks his reverie. “What.”

It’s not even a question. You chuckle, hand reaching up to him. He drops down enough to let you reach his face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I, um- I forgot for a moment.” You watch several emotions run across his face before he looks down, away from you.

You force his chin up but his eyes remain cast downward. “Hey, no, stop that. No feeling guilty. It’s not your fault, Chris.” 

He meets your eyes again, wide pools of brown for you to drown in. “I would have liked to be a part of it.”

Your heart stumbles. You ignore it, shooting him a soft smile. “I know, baby. I never doubted that.” He nuzzles the hand still on his face. “Besides, we’re still young enough. Maybe Clara gets a little brother or sister one day.”

He just stares at you in disbelief. You almost think he didn’t hear you, but you feel his cock twitch inside you despite his stillness. You giggle again. “Did I short-circuit you?”

“A little, yeah.”

“Is that something you want?” You withdraw your hand from him, sitting up on your elbows to get closer to his face. “Do you want a baby with me, Daddy?”

Chris lets his mouth drop open briefly before his tongue darts between his lips and his brows furrow. He watches you for a moment, glancing down at your mouth. “Say it again.”

You cock your head, feigning innocence. “Say what again?” He groans, eyes closing. “Was it asking if you want a baby?”

Eyes screwed shut, he shakes his head. “You know what I’m asking.”

You can’t help the grin that spreads as you sit up further, just close enough to whisper a single word in his ear before falling back into the sheets below you. 

“Daddy.”

Chris lets out a low growl, chasing you down to the mattress to claim your mouth as he begins to fuck you again, hips crashing into yours with abandon. He moves down the juncture of your throat, biting down hard enough to make you moan out his name. 

“Chris, God, fuck, Daddy!”

He pushes up, dragging one of your thighs up to throw your leg over his shoulder, nipping at the flesh while his thumb finds your clit again. “I want you to cum for me again, babygirl. One more, you can do it.” 

Head thrown back, your hands grasp at the sheets as you feel yourself throttling towards a precipice. Your breathing becomes shallow, gasping and mewling as Chris pistons in and out of you. Blindly, you find his free hand and tug, bringing it up and wrapping it around your throat.

He groans, fingers tightening slightly, and you keep your hand wrapped around his wrist. “Oh, baby, fuck, do you like this? Do you want me to control this for you?” He leans forward a little, into your eyesight. The fingers tighten further. “Does Daddy need to do everything?”

You’re rocketing toward the edge. “Yes, Daddy.” You gasp, just as he flicks his thumb over your clit again, and then you’re tumbling. Your body tenses, taut like a bowstring, and then snaps, wracked with spasms as you ride the wave of pleasure. Chris swears, hips stuttering, and then he spills himself within your walls.

His hand relaxes as he collapses on you, chest heaving. You slowly open your eyes, the fog of your orgasm still lingering as you look down at him, face buried in your neck. Your hand comes up to lazily thread through his damp curls.

After a couple of minutes of silence as you both catch your breath, a thought occurs to you, and you can’t hide your chuckle.

“What?” Chris asks, voice muffled by your neck.

“I was just thinking how your hair right now is exactly like Clara’s after bathtime.” You giggle at the thought again.

Chris lifts his head, giving you an amused look. “I’m still inside you, and you’re thinking about our daughter right now?”

Our daughter. He says it so casually that you feel your heart stumble again. Before you can answer, he’s shaking his head at you. “Sinful woman.” He leans down to kiss you.

When he pulls back, you brush some stray hair from his face. “I want to tell her.”

His eyes go wide in shock. “What?”

“I want to tell Clara. She deserves to know.”

“What about the company? The NDA?”

“Fuck the company. I have you back, don’t I?” You smile at the way he nods eagerly, pressing a quick kiss to his nose. “They don’t have any power now. You know the truth and you don’t hate me, so that’s all I need.”

His eyes soften. “Babygirl, I could never hate you. I love you.”

You freeze, holding his gaze as his words wash over you. “You do?”

“I never stopped. It stayed there, buried under a mountain of pain, until I saw you at the cafe. It felt like getting hit by a car.”

“I know the feeling.” You murmur, giving him a soft smile. “Every time I put on a SKZ video with Clara, it comes back full force, no matter how hard I try to stop.”

His face wrinkles with his smile, your daughter’s dimples appearing on his face. “You love me?”

“Yes, Daddy, I love you.” His cock, still nestled inside you, twitches to life. “Jesus, baby, is it that much of a turn-on?” You laugh.

He flushes, ears turning red. “Apparently.” He grumbles.

You cup his cheek, pouting at him just a little. “God, you’re so cute, I can’t handle it.” He scrunches his nose, making you laugh. “Are you okay with us telling Clara?”

“Absolutely.” No hesitation. “Do you think I can see her in the morning, then?”

“I think she’d like that very much.” When his mouth finds yours, you hum, happiness flooding you. Chris wraps his arms around you.

“How do you feel about another round?” He asks suddenly, a mischievous gleam in his eye.

“I don’t know, are you up to it, Bang?”

In lieu of a response, he rolls you both over until he’s on his back and you’re seated on top of him, his hardening cock still inside you. “I think I’ve got a few more rounds left before the sun comes up.”

You throw your head back as you laugh. “So, we’re just not sleeping tonight, then?”

“Why the fuck would I waste precious time with you by sleeping? Absolutely not. I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

xx

author's note: AHHH!!! It's done!!! This was a lil' brainrot idea that started in December and just took me forever to put to paper. Thank you all for your support. I left this ending open for the chance to do more in the universe later, like maybe them telling Clara or whatever happens when SKZ's current contract ends. Y'all let me know what you want to see written, and I'll try to get it done. I've got some ofther stories in the works too. Lots of love, xx Minty

#stray kids #skz #bang chan #chan x reader

[skzstannie]

fav skz // Seungmin goes a little sexy

#stray kids #skz #seungmin #Changbin

[skzstannie]

💗

#Ateez #atz #Yunho #jeong Yunho