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bard-llama · 3 years

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WiP List

This is gonna be looooong (like, REALLY long), so I’mma go ahead and give you a cut here. But if you’re interested in what i’m working on, take a look!

Order purely based on the order my tabs are in. I’m only counting WiPs that actually have more than a paragraph written, because if I didn’t, this list would be even longer. Also, pls don’t judge me but what I name my WiPs 😂

Post-Coital Smoke

Kinda what it sounds like tbh. I just wanted Iorveth getting high and admiring Roche’s body and then Roche decided to be a tease. At some point, I assume there will be sex.

Angst: Sex object Roche

Iorveth’s POV of realizing that Roche hurts himself whenever he flirts at Iorveth. Premise is that Roche has been groomed (intentionally or not) by Foltest to be his. So when he feels attraction towards Iorveth, he needs to be punished. And obviously Iorveth helps him learn that no, that’s not okay and idk recovery???

Midwinter Feast

This idea was 100% spawned by me trying to write holiday fics, but Foltest hosts a Midwinter Feast where they close the city for 12 days, leaving Roche to get along with the Nonhuman/Scoia’tael(ish) delegation during that time. Also, Foltest might be using the feast as a delaying tactic to resupply his army. I legit have no idea where this is going, I just thought the idea of Roche and Iorveth stuck at a feast for 12 days was funny.

Solstice Feast aka To Birth a Verdant Future

This was actually an xmas gift for @lutes-and-dandelions, but I havent finished it yet 😓 But the premise is similar to the former in that it’s another solstice feast. But it’s set post-W3 with Emhyr as Emperor throwing a party in the new conquered capital of Vizima. Roche broods a lot about Foltest’s memory and how he hates Emhyr and decides to distract himself by hanging out with Iorveth and suggesting they follow an old elven tradition. And that’s all I’ll say. XD

Next Year (Solstice Feast sequel)

Literally set the next year. This time they merge their lives by merging their people’s traditions.

Lily Preserved in Amber

Okay, haven’t gotten very far in this, but I decided it was an elven rite of passage to go searching through the forest for a sign of your future. And Iorveth finds a piece of amber with a lily preserved inside. I haven’t decided if it purely means Roche or if it means his whole family with Roche and Boussy and Anais and all. So far, he hasn’t even found the amber yet lmao. But he did just discover music!

Character taking control of the other and Character B just letting go and enjoying themselves

Under the subheading “Porn Snips”, so uh, yeah. Starts with Roche and Iorveth fighting to decide who gets to top, involves Roche getting choked, and Iorveth ripping Roche’s pants off. Oh, also, they’re currently at a fancy party hiding somewhere in the garden lmao

Based on @moonlights-ordinance‘s art

Moonlight’s working on an adorable piece where Roche leans his forehead against Iorveth’s back between his shoulderblades. I decided to make it post-W3 with both of them working as paper pushers/administrators under Emhyr’s Temeria. And Nilfgaard does not believe in chairs with backs (or, really, Emhyr wanted to see how long Roche’s pride would make him suffer. It’s a long time). The idea is to show development over time as they slowly get more comfortable with touch and start using each other as backrests. And then the sweet scene Moonlight is drawing.

Eliza for @useless-empty-brain aka Can’t We All Just Get Oolong?

Next is Iorveth’s POV, but I legit cannot figure out where to start. But we’re gonna see some of his thoughts (like how Eliza volunteered him to stay in Vizima for an unspecified period of time and he said yes even though he can’t and now has to commute regularly because he doesn’t want to miss tea with Roche but also doesn’t want Roche’s spies to catch on lmao) and his curiosity about Roche and Foltest and what Roche’s mission is (which I... totally know.)

Roche’s Scars

@moonlights-ordinance sent me a great pic of a mod for Roche where he had some pretty vicious scarring/mutilation. So of course I decided I needed to tell the story of each one. But really, it’s a story about the stages of acceptance with scars. Both Iorveth and Roche start out hiding theirs, but eventually come to reveal them comfortably in public.

Vernon Roche of the Scoia’tael aka The Value of a Man

Does my title give it away? Oops? So, this is a found family fic where Roche is captured by the Scoia’tael and the elves and dwarves slowly come to see him as - well, I was gonna say human, but as a person, I guess. And start feeling really, really guilty, especially when some not great things happen to Roche.

Oh also, Foltest is a giant dick and uh, SPOILERS he does not try to get Roche back. Which leads to a whole subplot that will end with a found family for EVERYONE, because they all deserve to be happy dammit.

All of that was just one document lmao. I have 24 documents, some of which have quite a few WiPs in them. 😱

Kiss Prompts

24. Deep kisses where they have their hands tangled in each other’s hair to pull them closer. AKA How to Fluster an Elf

When I got the idea for How to Fluster an Elf, I decided it was gonna fill the prompt dammit. And then it really, really expanded on me.

33. An unexpected kiss that shocks the one receiving it.

Roche dreams occasionally that Iorveth visits him and watches over him and sometimes speaks, but he can’t understand Elder Speech, so he assumes it’s all gibberish.

Then he finds out it’s not and suddenly he’s not so certain it’s a dream

16. One person pouting, only to have it removed by a kiss from the other person.

Okay, I literally just need to buckle down and write some good kissing. This is set in (Im)Perfect Strangers and Iorveth is pouting about them leaving the gardens, so Roche makes it up to him.

25. Wet kisses after finding refuge from the rain.

This one won’t actually be published with the kisses ‘cause it’s porn and the rest are T-rated lol. Buuuut Roche and Iorveth are trying to have a secret liaison in the forest when the rain starts. Featuring nature magic, tentacles, and Iorveth getting filled.

Scenes from Another World (aka AU premise)

Old Men in Vergen

Set during Witcher 3, but with an established relationship. Roche comes to visit Iorveth in Vergen to ask for advice on leading an insurgency. Iorveth just wants to feed Roche while he can now that he’s not the one starving in the woods.

Language Aphasia/Deal with the Devil

I wanted to write Gaunter! So I decided that Gaunter is in a mood for some mischief (he calls it being generous) and comes upon a traveling Vernon Roche who wishes that he could be understand Iorveth. Then Iorveth’s Scoia’tael find a passed out Roche in the woods and bring him to Iorveth for judgement. Only somehow, Roche only understands Elder Speech now. He can’t understand Common at all. The Scoia’tael find this very offensive and Iorveth is mostly freaked out that someone who can do THAT was wandering around his forest.

Bunk Beds: The Portrait of Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon

Based on a silly comic, Ciri convinces Iorveth and Roche to try to help her destroy the portrait. Geralt gets pissed and sends them to Bunk Bed Exile. Shenanigans ensue and somehow they start to get along.

Iorveth’s Scoia’tael Giving Him Shit For His Taste in Men aka The Lovestruck Fox

Right now, working on a piece from the POV of a new Scoia’tael recruit who is discovering that Iorveth’s Scoia’tael roast the fuck out of him over his crush on Roche.

Speaking of, anyone have suggestions on prime roast material? I am not this creative.

Let’s Torture Roche!

No, really. This one is pretty dark. And told in kind of a different style than my usual, because I felt like it. So, premise is that Iorveth and Roche were a thing in the past, but then Roche was recalled to Foltest’s side and he went. So Iorveth is understandably pretty hurt and pissed (this was decided for a prompt of someone breaking down as soon as they’re behind closed doors). Buuut what he doesn’t know is that Roche is not with Foltest of his own volition. Hostages, blackmail, and torture are all involved and Foltest is a pretty horrible guy. But of course we need a happy ending, so eventually, Iorveth will rescue Roche and they get to recover together.

Life Debt aka Iorveth is an Asshole

The concept for this was that Roche saved Iorveth’s life and now that they were no longer enemies (set during Witcher 3), his honor demands that he follow Roche around until he can repay the favor. Featuring Iorveth being a trolling asshole, correcting the new Temerian Loyalist’s fighting abilities, and Roche being very, very tired.

In application, it’s mostly angst so far, ‘cause I had to set up HOW Roche saved Iorveth’s life. And then I decided to really hurt Iorveth. But tbh I will probably skip ahead after establishing this stuff, because I just want shenanigans.

King and Country

I’ve got several WiPs for this one, including the Stripes’ recruitment, their decision to change sides, the Stripes being double agents, and of course, Iorveth and Roche’s developing relationship. But hey, I’ve skipped ahead to writing their wedding already, so... you know it ends happily ever after?

Friday Fight Night for Jan 29 (which I did not make oops)

So, this actually turned into a long piece that’s gonna be part of my Chronic Pain series. Basically, King Foltest is treating with the leaders of the Scoia’tael in Temeria and Iorveth is one of them. Unfortunately, he’s having a REALLY BAD pain day, but he’s also determined to be there to represent his people. Roche helps him see sense. Possibly forcefully.

Exhaustion Prompts

“If we’re both in this state, we both really screwed up somewhere huh?”

Iorveth and Roche are trapped in a dream and I got a little stuck creating the creature that trapped them there. But pretty sure Saskia is gonna interrupt their flirting by saving them.

“You were almost dead from pushing it too far!”

In which Roche has a heart attack from too much coffee. Yeah. He’s okay, though! But PT is about to blow a gasket and coffee will very much be disallowed.

Found Family Prompts

Taking Out the Trash for @useless-empty-brain

Literally a story about taking out the trash lmao. We’re gonna see if I can make this intersting.

Touch Starved for @mochii-girl

Honestly, haven’t gotten much done on this yet, but I’m thinking puppy pile cuddles in Corvo Bianco

Coffeeshop AU aka Brewing Romance and Dissent

Ooof I’ve got a lot of bits and pieces of this written, but nothing quite finished, except for the moment when things change from “we flirt as I order coffee” to “I make you special drinks and invite you to come visit me after hours”. Writing a canon coffeeshop au when I know shit all about coffee is HARD.

Curse Breaking

Omg this is one of the first WiPs I started for Iorveth/Roche, no joke. STILL WORKING ON IT! The premise is that Roche finds a feverish and dying Iorveth in an empty Scoia’tael camp, saves him with the power of True Love’s Kiss The Power of Strong Emotions, Like That Which You Might Have For Your Enemy. Then they team up to go save Iorveth’s Scoia’tael from a big bad mage and Roche invites Triss along for the ride, which totally doesn’t make Iorveth jealous. I kinda stalled out at the part where they reach the mage’s hideout and see the results of the mages failed experiments. On Iorveth’s people. It’s gonna hurt. A lot. But afterwards, there might be makeouts. And some sort of implication that they’re all down to do this (minus the horrible, traumatic parts) again.

Roche POV bloodplay

Roche’s POV starting from before his first encounter with Iorveth. Then he has a weirdly sexually arousing encounter with the elf, and tbh, that’s as far as I got. But Iorveth draws blood from Roche’s neck, presses his thumb to it, and then licks it off his thumb. Next, Iorveth was gonna be the one getting Uncomfortably Aroused, but I haven’t gotten that far. No idea where this is going overall.

Iorveth Investigates Roche

This kinda isn’t a real WiP in that idk if I’ll ever finish it. I mostly started it to do some worldbuilding about what public information there would be about Roche.

Voyeurism AKA Eye on You

Yeah, I don’t have much for the next chapter yet, tbh. So premise is that Iorveth accidentally ends up watching Roche get off at the brothel and finds it really, really hot. Hot enough to get curious and go back for more. Next one is going to involve thigh fucking and Iorveth might possibly get pegged by Daph??? idk

Fake Relationship

Poor @lutes-and-dandelions has been waiting forever for this one and I can’t even find a place to end the scene and post what I have so far. Premise is that Iorveth and Roche are both investigating their missing men and the trail takes them to the Murivel Resort for Couples. So they go undercover. Featuring Roche’s POV of being doubtful, Iorveth using the excuse to flirt outrageously, strip gwent, and a magic amulet that hids Iorveth’s scar and that Roche hates.

Competitive Makeouts AKA The Chase

This was kissing practice and it turned into a casefic! Which is awesome because I love casefics even though I haven’t published any yet. So in this one, as Iorveth and Roche sneak off to makeout, they also end up investigating a conspiracy in the Temerian military.

Iorveth/Roche(/Kayran) + Roche/Foltest aka Every Kiss Begins with Kayran

In which Roche accidentally walks in on Iorveth’s monthly fuck date with the Kayran and gets invited to join in. Then, somehow, it starts to turn into a relationship. With an elf and a tentacle monster. And yet, somehow, this relationship is healthier than the one with Foltest. The contrast opens Roche’s eyes.

Pining and Poignards

In which Iorveth stabs Roche with his favorite knife and wants it back and is also maybe pining a lil bit. Meanwhile Roche is rather pissed, but also curious and begins to teach himself Elder Speech to try to read the inscription on Iorveth’s knife. I stalled out in the scene where Iorveth accidentally watches Roche masturbate in the bath.

Iorveth tittyfucking Roche

Look, it’s what it says on the tin. Roche’s POV of Iorveth’s fascination with his chest and how it makes him feel and then there is sex.

Dirty Gremlin Man

Iorveth gets off on Roche being a sweaty, stinky human. Roche pins Iorveth in a fight and Iorveth gets very distracted watching a drop of sweat trail down Roche’s face. So distracted, in fact, that he doesn’t think twice before stretching out his neck and licking it. Then, of course, he remembers where he is. Featuring a very confused Roche, a smidge of jealousy, and Iorveth stealing Roche’s sweaty clothing to do unspeakable things to it. And somehow they get together.

Want me to sit in your lap?

Geralt LEGIT says this to Roche like 5 mins into the Witcher 2 and it’s GREAT. So of course, I had to write a scene where he actually got to. This is set post Witcher 2 while Geralt, Triss, Roche, and Ves are headed back to Temeria. Triss offers Geralt a little stress relief - which involves warming Roche’s cock and watching Triss and Ves get to know one another.

Red is the Rose

So, Chapter 4 is set post-Witcher 2 and Iorveth is obsessing over the fact that the Rose of Remembrance still has not wilted. He wonders what might be possible, so when he hears a rumor that a certain Temerian Commander was taken captive by Dethmold...

Dethmold most definitely dies. But unfortunately, that doesn’t save Roche from the curses he cast. So they go looking for Geralt to find out how to fix it.

This has only been 9 of my documents, y’all. I think I have a problem.

De-Aged Fic aka The language of friendship is not words but meanings

Ugh, I lost my momentum on this one, which sucks, ‘cause the next chapter is so close to done. Iorveth just needs to do a little freaking out first. But then they will both be back to adults and have to DEAL with the fact that they made good friends and would kinda like that again. I think this fic is gonna be purely friendship for them, but they’re gonna get there.

Glory Hole

A fic for the @sugar-and-spice-witcher-bingo where Roche hears a rumor that some Scoia’tael go to this brothel on the outskirts of town and hey, he may as well check it out, right? By going undercover and working the glory hole, of course. He never ACTUALLY expected Iorveth would come, but his legendary mouth was enticing enough to draw the Scoia’tael commander out.

Snuggling

Thirteen “accidentally” handcuffs Iorveth and Roche together when they capture Iorveth. This leads to them lying on the cot in the Stripes’ holding cell, spooning. There is banter and tickling and escapes not attempted and also maybe some sex with Inexperience Iorveth (i say maybe because I already started the sex, but idk if it will fit in).

Petals and Stripes

A weed is but an unloved flower

Okay, the Stripes are going to attempt to woo Iorveth during a battle. Also, there is a stabbing. And then a kidnapping. And then, miracle of miracles, someone actually tries talking!

One person's weed is another person's wildflower

Ves’s POV! She cleans up the mess her idiots make and terrifies the life out of one elven suitor, but first she’s gotta deal with her own conflicted feelings about her Boss, the guy she relies on to show her the shades of grey in the world, loving the elf she’s supposed to kill.

After that, I’ve got 2 more fics planned in this ‘verse. One is gonna be a fluffy and/or sexy date after Iorveth and Roche have gotten together. The other is a Scoia’tael side story, featuring lots of gossip about the humans sending their Commander love letters.

Love Shack

The Better Part of Valor

Ugh, I’m stuck on the sex again. Roche is having a really shitty day, so he goes to the cabin and signals Iorveth that he wants a round. Iorveth offers gentle (for them) sex and praise. And at the end, there’s a very significant scene where Iorveth removes his bandana. Roche buries his fingers in Iorveth’s hair, but doesn’t actually see his face, as he’s laying on his stomach with Iorveth on top of him.

Medicine

The morning after! Roche wakes up to find Iorveth in the bath, facing away from him, and notices a new scar. Iorveth has to deal with actually revealing his scars in daylight and they discuss the significant differences in elven and human medicine. Hint: I turned my own medical procedures into elven medicine, so it’s pretty fucking good.

PWP Ovi

Set ambiguously late, maybe after Thou Art More Lovely and More Temperate. Iorveth and Roche explore what Roche can take. We start with overstimulation, go into consensual somnophilia, come inflation, breeding kink, and oviposition. Because elves reproduce by laying eggs, which is not at all the case purely because I started this WiP ages ago and was horny.

The Picture Says It All

There’s going to be 5 more pictures that Rinn draws for Iorveth. Next is Roche hard at work, hunched over a desk. Then we’re getting some shirtless Roche, for “research”, of course. Then Roche cuddling with PT and the rest of the team, about which Iorveth is not at all jealous. Then a face study of Roche during a fight and uh, Iorveth is uncomfortably turned on. And finally, a drawing of their cabin with a silhouette in the window. She knows.

Roche & Rinn: The Haunting of Barrack 8B

Oh man, I really want to finish the next chapter, because I already have the one after that done. But first, we get introduced to Adda! This ‘verse is going to feature Adda the White a lot more than any of my others have done so far and I’m very excited. Also, Silas continues to be terrified of the ghost and the ghost and Adda become girlfriends buddies.

Roche builds Iorveth a home

Set late in the ‘verse, after Roche knows his feelings, but they haven’t said them yet (not out loud, anyway). Iorveth takes a trip to go meet Saskia do things off screen and Roche ends up turning to his old hobby, carpentry, to keep himself from pining too obviously. So obviously he ends up builing Iorveth a solarium. And a pillow nest. And a scaffold so that flowers that blossom in the moonlight cover the glass and give them privacy.

I got stuck here because Rinn needs to give Roche a hint to get him to build the pillow nest, but I hadn’t developed Rinn and Roche’s relationship yet, so had to go back and do that. But eventually Iorveth returns and they have wonderful I’m-not-saying-it-but-i-love-you sex in the new pillow nest.

Foltest (WiP): Long Live the King

This is actually the last fic in the ‘verse, so I don’t want to give too much away. But actually, I haven’t figured out what the next chapter is, BUT I have the chapter after that started and it is GOOD, just you wait!! I’m very excited.

Don’t Cry For Me, Temeria

This ‘verse alone, I have 14 WiPs and a dozen more unwritten ideas.

(Im)Perfect Strangers

I am frustratingly stuck on this chapter. Theoreatically, we are going to have a check in on how the mountain and the rest of our cast is doing and then Roche launches his Wooing TM plan (aka dinner, gift, and dancing).

Between Two Fools

Yeah, Roche and Iorveth have very different understandings of what their gifts represent. There is some soft happiness and then a swift rug pulled out from under Iorveth’s feet, I’m afraid. BUT we are almost to the part where the two idiots sit down and actually talk properly.

Unlucky Number Thirteen

Not only do I have more of Thirteen’s story planned, but I have ideas for ALL the Stripes to have stories. We’ll see how that goes. But for now, Thirteen starts spying for Roche. A lot of still-nebulous stuff happens, including Thirteen’s first time, for which he asks Roche to help. Additionally, once we reach the (Im)Perfect Strangers timeline, Thirteen has a special story all his own. It involves learning to read and a secret I shall not yet reveal.

Silas

Like I said, all the Stripes are hopefully getting stories. But Silas’s is coming along nicely. He starts a new life as “Silas”, as a man, and joins the army. Boot camp is rough and awful and he’s not very good at any of it, but one day, Roche comes looking for a recruit. He needs a codebreaker to decipher Thirteen’s scouting reports (another one for pictures). So Silas joins the Stripes, but he’s still terrified that they’ll fnd out and think he’s been lying to them. Fortunately, they’ll be putting his fears to rest.

Stripes Sex aka Earning Your Stripes: The First Time

PT’s POV! The Stripes (pre-Silas) are all still getting comfortable with each other as a team. But Thirteen has known Roche the longest and in a specific capacity. So one evening when he needs to get out of his head, Thirteen asks Roche to dom him. PT is confused and scandalized and then jealous, but he gets to join in soon too. Meanwhile, Finch and Ves have fun with their bratty arsonist and Fenn is loving it.

break (v /brāk/): to destroy someone's resistance

This is very long and entirely build up to porn. And then lots of porn. A question during a random conversation leads Roche to make Iorveth ask him to take Iorveth utterly apart in a consensual non-consent fantasy set when they were still enemies in the forest.

Bath House

This was supposed to be a simple PWP where Roche talks dirty to Iorveth under his breath while the two of them are at the bathhouse with Boussy (who LOVES baths and brought them to the fancy bath house), Anais, and Thirteen (who HATE baths and react to water much like a cat). They kinda took over the story and there has been no dirty talk yet oops.

Iorveth POV: Tutti

Iorveth begins to reclaim his love for music and lets himself improvise and compose again. And he ends up writing a song that is the story of his and Roche’s romance.

Daggers, Dumplings, and Dresses

The Elihal/Hattori side story! Though we haven’t actually met Hattori yet. So far, Elihal is expounding on his past and his relationship with Iorveth (he used to make all of Iorveth’s fancy gowns for concerts). Elihal and Hattori won’t play a HUGE role in (Im)Perfect Strangers, but they will be appearing!

Ves and Ciaran aka The First Rule of Fight Club

Ves is stuck walking a very long way back to Vergen with the memory of Ciaran’s skin against her teeth. And even though elves lie like breathing, she can’t help thinking about what he said about Roche not being worth her loyalty. Slowly, she begins to work some things out.

Sex with Saskia/Dragonfucking

Yeah, it’s what it sounds like. Iorveth tells Roche that Saskia agreed to a threesome and where to meet, but he neglected to mention the rather large dragon that was currently rimming his ass. Roche gets distracted from his confusion by the hotness and watches Iorveth get fucked by a dragon (with 2 dicks to fit 2 holes, of course).

Come Inflation + Piss Play

Um. Yeah, it’s a PWP where Roche asks Triss for a potion that will make him come a lot. And then Iorveth wants more. No idea where it’s going, tbh.

Stripes vs Scoia’tael: Water Balloon Fight

Literally a water balloon fight. For morale.

Baby Mama

Uh, the title is a bit telling here oops. But let’s just say Iorveth and Roche go on vacation to the cabin on top of the mountain again when Iorveth is hit with the sudden extreme urge to breed. Roche is down, but at some point, they do actually need to talk.

King Roche aka fics where Roche is in charge and hates it. Some are more in line with this than others.

Post W3 Becoming Terrorists Together

Ah yes, the murder husbands fic. Literally, Roche gets stuck leading Temeria under Emhyr’s orders and he’s good at it, but he HATES it. Enter Iorveth, who both points out security flaws, joins Roche for a surprisingly unawkward bath, and proposes that they go hunting down war criminals on their own time. How can Roche say no?

Pre-W2 Ambassadorial AU

Different first meeting AU! In this one, Iorveth is sent as the elven ambassador to Temeria and it’s about as much fun as one might expect. Triss and Roche, the other outcasts amongst Temerian court, decide to befriend him. Well, try to anyway. idk where this is going, but it’s been fun. Also, Iorveth wears a fancy braid over his eye, because I said so. Also, I might be planning an OT3 porn scene at some point, because it turns out, elves are VERY sensitive to magic XD

Leap of Faith

Okay, yeah, this has nothing to do with King Roche, but it’s the doc I was working in when I got the idea. In this one, a mage captures Iorveth for Foltest and starts torturing him. Roche, without really thinking about it, decides the mage goes too far, so he kills them. Leaving him with an elven prisoner and a castle full of people who will consider him a traitor for that. They escape the city, but now Iorveth has gotta convince Roche that no, the King really won’t forget that whole murder and prisoner escape thing.

The whole point of this fic was for me to write them jumping off a cliff lmao. When am I gonna get to that? Probably like last or second to last chapter, tbh. Which should be... after the next one? No, I lied, it’s next chapter! I need to get on that!

An ill-favour’d thing, sir, but mine own aka Possessive Sex

Piss Fic

Um. Yeah. Roche is really horny when Iorveth gets home and is on him immediately, which is great, but Iorveth has gotta piss. Which becomes less urgent as Roche is determined to have his face fucks, but after he comes all over Roche’s face, it’s VERY urgent and Roche is a fucking brat and won’t move out of the way. So obviously the response to this is to piss on Roche’s crotch - which Roche is apparently more than okay with.

Cum Dumpster Roche

Yeah, this one doesn’t have much yet, I literally just wanted Roche getting railed and claimed and L O V I N G it.

Possessiveness

Iorveth spends a lot of time thinking about his enemy, his nemesis. He’s researched Roche extensively, spent hours thinking up tactics and strategies to outwit his nemesis. He literally knows what Roche named his stupid weapons, but he’s never actually met Roche.

But he’s dreamt about it. The Roche in reality doesn’t look like the assumptions he made in his dreams, but who cares about looks? Because Roche is his, and certainly not some dh’oine king’s.

Tentacles + Breeding

Gods, this one is SO CLOSE to being done dammit, I just gotta finish it!! But it’s a fun one. Iorveth and Roche are fighting, when Iorveth suddenly starts fighting plants, which are fighting back. Then the plants notice Roche and suddenly he’s tied up with vines and his clothes are getting torn off and uh, he’s not supposed to find this hot, is he? But he really kinda does. And then Iorveth goes and claims him and tries to protect him from a nearly-extinct non-sentient plant that sensed a warm spot to lay its eggs until someone else could come along and fertilize them. Iorveth is delighted to be that person.

Dream: Pleasure Slave

Yeah, Roche really likes getting claimed in these. In this one, he has a favorite dream setting where Iorveth rules some grand elven kingdom and Roche’s only role is to bring him pleasure. Not to deal with politics or nobles or policy, but just to make Iorveth feel good. So far, this features cock warming, come inflation, a leather cock cage (so to speak), prostate milking, and a very nice silver chalice that Iorveth expects Roche to fill before they’re done.

Roche wears a collar

This was gonna be a simple lil thing based on me creating Roche in heroforge and giving him a lil hidden collar. But then Iorveth decided to get really sappy and had to design and create the perfect collar for his enemy. And then, much to his surprise, he gets the opportunity to PUT his collar on Roche. Which is great, except the sight distracts him so much that Roche manages to escape.

But the next time they meet, Roche is still wearing that collar, hidden under his chaperon and armor. Iorveth has feelings about that.

Standalone

Crones fic aka And Ghosts Did Shriek and Shrill

So this is the angsty fic that started from a crack premise. Er, one of them. I seem to do that a lot. But in this one, Roche goes to the Ladies of the Woods and asks for his men back. The Ladies agree, in exchange for 6 lifetimes of service. But no creature can reverse death. Which leads to the Stripes coming back to “life” as ghosts - only Roche is the only one who can see them. Ves can’t (not at first).

Believe it or not, the whole idea behind this was the Stripes roasting Roche as he tries to flirt (terribly) with Iorveth. But uh... somehow it turned pretty dark. Like, it’ll have a happy ending for sure, but it’s gonna be a lot about processing trauma and grief and building families and also curing a plague, because that’s the first assignment from the Ladies.

Stripes fics

Cuddles with the Commander

This is intended to be a sequel to The Pride of Temeria, but I kinda got stuck figuring out exactly how Roche should react. Tbh, I don’t have much of this written yet, but the goal is for Roche to approve cuddles with everyone lmao.

Fire Breating

Okay, this one started as crack purely because I love fire, but it’s actually been really fun. So, Iorveth and Roche are established and Iorveth has been invited to a family night with the Stripes, which is kinda a lil awkward. So they decide to showcase some of their talents - which includes Roche singing musicals and PT breathing fire.

Iorveth is horrified that humans have harnessed this skill.

Iorveth’s missing eye

This is really short and idk if I’ll continue it, but the idea was for Roche to really wonder what was up with the bandana over half of Iorveth’s face was about. And then, of course, to find out.

Iorveth Gangbang

Why is this under Stripes fics, you might ask? Well, I have great news for you. Guess who the gang is?

In which Iorveth and Roche are in an established relationship and Iorveth gets tied up in the middle of the Stripes’ camp while Roche orders his men to take him apart. Iorveth very much enjoys himself, and then when the Stripes are tapped out, Roche shows ‘em how it’s done.

Kink Bingo fics aka that event that I totally failed, but hey, prompts are prompts.

Age Kink

In this fic, Iorveth and Roche both end up captured by unknown forces and end up imprisoned together. I think the Stripes and Scoia’tael are probably working together to find them and save them, but in the meantime, Iorveth and Roche decide to get to know each other a bit better. Featuring muscle spasms, blow jobs, and pain kink.

Eskel/Lambert (okay, a little out of place here, but eh, it’s in the doc and I am still working on it)

Started for a prompt on tumblr, Eskel and Lambert end up fighting and, trying to keep the peace, Eskel casts axii on Lambert. Which leads to Lambert confessing that he bit Eskel because it’s the only way he could get his mouth on him. This leads to some dodged confessions, some frottage, and some snarky banter, because of course it does.

Tempt Not a Desperate Man aka the Fuck or Die series that started with Devour What’s Truly Yours

Fisting

The next part of the series, where Roche struggles with the fact that he’s been high key horny ever since the encounter in the woods with Iorveth and nothing is satisfying him. Iorveth, on the other hand, is jealous and annoyed that Roche keeps going to the whorehouse.

Then Roche decides to make a potentially suicidal move and enters the forest to try to find the clearing from last time. And, as you might guess from my heading, fisting will be happening.

Iorveth POV: The Chaperon

Okay, I don’t actually have much of this written, but it’s really cute so - Roche keeps using his chaperon as a cum rag, so Iorveth knits and/or sews him a new one.

“Human Bootlicker”

PWP where Iorveth jokingly suggestions Roche should surrender on his knees - and then Roche does. And asks Iorveth to take his prize. Featuring Roche coming all over Iorveth’s boots from getting his face fucked, then leaning down and licking up the mess while Iorveth watches and then comes over his face.

One Accidental Proposal and Five Attempts At Accepting

So one of the themes of this ‘verse is gonna be the Elven Baths where the Roses of Remembrance grow. As in, they decide to make the elven baths a place they meet up. This is the first time Iorveth takes Roche there, and Roche does not know what significance the roses have. But he DOES know that Iorveth blushes cutely when he tucks a rose behind Iorveth’s ear, so...

Iorveth would like to accept, only Roche doesn’t know WHAT he’s trying to accept.

The Legend

So in the game, there is a legend around the statue of elven lovers above the elven baths. “Legend has it the lover’s sighs are enchanted within these very stones, though only those in love can hear them.”

Iorveth overhears his Scoia’tael gossiping about the legend and comes to an abrupt realization that Roche and him were the ones they were hearing. Oops?

Standalone Fics

Letters

This is kind of a bittersweet WiP that I mostly wrote in one go and then went to sleep and kinda lost the will for it. BUT the premise is that post-Witcher 3 Roche is in charge of Temeria and his brooding is interrupted when he receives a letter sealed with a forget me not pressed into wax. Iorveth continues to send letters describing his life as a “civilian” in Nilfgaard and how much he hates it and Roche relates a little bit too much. Then Iorveth decides to run away and live on the streets as a musician and he might inspire Roche to start learning the cello and presumably at some point, they meet.

Identity Porn

Iorveth and Roche have a meet cute in Flotsam’s tavern while the elf is listening in for local gossip and Roche is passing through on his way to meet with the other northern kings to get support in fighting against the new emerging threat of the Scoia’tael. Neither knows who the other is, but that doesn’t stop them from starting a relationship where they meet every time Roche passes through Flotsam. But their house of cards can only last so long, and at some point, they will meet as enemies. Who knows what happens then? idk, not me.

Gwent pinup calendar aka Cards Out for Your Country

Hahaha, so I started this series in response to some WONDERFUL art of Roche with his Tits Out For Temeria. And obviously we need more of that, so I created a list of 24 characters who are asked to pose for some pinup art, all in the name of Gwent. So far, I’ve only finished Dandelion’s pose/the introduction, but I do plan to do as many of them as I physically can.

Gwent Game in Corvo Bianco

Wow, I didn’t even remember this WiP, so uh... clearly I haven’t worked on it in a while. But it’s Iorveth’s POV of how surprisingly comfortable he is in Corvo Bianco and Iorveth and Geralt get drunk and play gwent.

Zoltan/Jaskier/Priscilla

A giftfic for Wibbly that involves Zoltan being sappy about his bards and then Priscilla dominates them. Featuring all my headcanons about dwarven genitalia (two holes, one with a retractible dick).

Dijkstra fics

Noticing Roche’s Fucked Up Relationship

Anyone else randomly finding themselves shipping Dijkstra/Roche? No? Ah well. For this one Dijkstra observes Roche and sees a few too many reminders of himself with Vizimir, except Foltest is no Vizimir, and Roche clearly hasn’t learned to set up boundaries. Dijkstra feels weirdly compelled to help him figure that out before Foltest destroys him.

Developing Respect Fic

Also known as “let’s torture Roche 1.0!” This fic switches between the present, where Roche has woken up in a cell somewhere unknown and it brings back far too many memories for him to be entirely sure of what is happening when. In the past, he was captured by Redania while on a mission for Foltest, long before he was anyone notable. Dijkstra comes to visit, curious about this prisoner who refuses to break, to even tell them his name or confirm his country (but he has a Temerian tramp stamp, so they know lmao). So Dijkstra decides that this is not a man who will be broken through torture and decides to try conversation instead. The idea is to show them slowly gaining respect for each other, but like, obviously Roche is still a prisoner. Eventually, he’s returned to Temeria in a prisoner exchange, but meanwhile, in the present, Roche is all alone, with not even guards around and no way to free himself.

and that’s all!! I am... legitimately scared to count, tbh. This post is so fucking long, the number cannot be good for my heart. But, that said, please come talk to me about any ideas you find interesting!! Or anything you have questions about!

And if you made it this far down the list... wow. Thank you, you rock.

#rorveth #iorveth x roche #the witcher #don't cry for me temeria #wip wednesday #my fics #WiPs #yeah it's not wednesday but whatever i finished the list

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shakasa · 4 years

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sakura haruno fanfic rec list.

I tend to lean towards longer Sakura-centric fics. I'm not really one for oneshots, so if long rides are your type of thing, you're in the right place.

Maybe if this gets a lot of attention, I'll make a part 2 but as of now, this is all I'm posting since its 3am. It's still pretty decently sized though.

I'm also on mobile so sorry if my formatting looks wonky.

Anachronistic Drift

Summary: Her plan was flawless. Save Shisui. Save the world. Time-travel, Sakura-centric AU

Pairing: N/A

Word count: 93k

Status: Incomplete. Last updated Dec 29, 2019.

https://fanfiction.net/s/11675447/1/Anachronistic-Drift

Survival of the Fittest

Summary: Sakura is thirteen, still a Genin, lost in the middle of Earth Country, lugging an unconscious Chuunin around, and so far beyond scared that she’s moved right on to pissed off.

Pairing: N/A. Shikasaku if you squint really hard.

Word count: 24k

Status: Complete.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3127889

Sunrise

Summary: They say hello more times than goodbye, and Sakura thinks it might be for the best. Especially when it's time to go. / (AU) War-torn Japan, 1600s. Married life.

Pairing: Sasusaku

Word count: 141k

Status: Incomplete. Last updated Dec 25, 2019.

https://fanfiction.net/s/12769548/1/Sunrise

Kill Your Heroes

Summary: It's time to stop waiting for other people to save you. A story about fear, resilience, and Sakura.

Pairing: N/A but hints of Itasaku later on but it's really ignorable.

Word count: 268k

Status: Incomplete. Last updated Dec 25, 2019.

https://fanfiction.net/s/11418526/1/Kill-Your-Heroes

Retrograde Motion

Summary: From sixteen to eleven didn't feel like a big jump until she realized that she was now the best ninja in their class. And that tiny Sasuke hates her for it.

Pairing: N/A.

Word count: 75k

Status: Incomplete. Last updated Feb 6, 2019.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12566900/chapters/28622888

Believe Me When I Say I Carry All My Sins

Summary: Sakura knew the best way to tear a man's spine out of his nose without breaking a sweat. She didn't know how to live in a village with Minato as Hokage and the Uchiha clan as the beloved police force. She didn't know how to live as a disgraced genin in a bloody apartment with dead men knocking at her door. She didn't know how to forgive herself for failing Konoha. Now she had a chance to save it.

Pairing: N/A

Word count: 30k

Status: Incomplete. Last updated Apr 26, 2019.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15103049/chapters/35020064

Hokage by Necessity

Summary: Hokage-it was Naruto's dream, just as Sasuke was his promise. And for a short, glorious time, he had them both. But when tragedy strikes, it is Sakura who must continue to bear the reality of the dream: endless paperwork, bickering Kage, and political factions.

Pairing: N/A

Word count: 65k

Status: Incomplete. Last updated Jan 16, 2015.

https://fanfiction.net/s/9576833/1/Hokage-By-Necessity

Daughter of Fire

Summary: Sakura got up and didn’t bother brushing the dirt from her dress. She had a feeling she was about to get even dirtier. She looked at the memorial stone one last time, memorizing the characters without even realizing she was doing it. It would serve from that moment on as a reminder of her determination. She wouldn’t let Naruto and Sasuke join the names carved on that stone. That was her nindo.

Pairing: Kakasaku but it's endgame.

Word count: 53k

Status: Incomplete. Last updated January 15, 2020.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17306768/chapters/40708583

Expedient

Summary: Konoha and Iwa sign a truce and agree to an Exchange Program between recently promoted genin to "bolster village relations." Fortunately, if anything were to go wrong, Haruno Sakura was just average enough to risk losing.

Pairing: N/A

Word count: 277k

Status: Complete

https://fanfiction.net/s/6004135/1/Expedient

Shikkotsu no Sakura

Summary: Sakura made a promise to the slugs of Shikkotsu Forest. She will not fail them, not for anything. (I HIGHLY recommend reading the previous fics in the "the ballad of the slug sage" series. This particular fic is part 7 and may not make sense if you don't read the previous parts.)

Pairing: N/A

Word count: 119k

Status: Incomplete. Last updated November 28, 2019.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13439829/chapters/30802980

The First Flower of Spring

Summary: Because every ninja comes from somewhere. Lacking a presence in any ninja village, the Haruno are a clan just the same. Beholden to the traditions of her family, Sakura is changed, as are Team Seven's dynamics. What will become of them? (Super duper OOC Sakura with a kekkei genkai but I still found it entertaining.)

Pairing: N/A

Word count: 90k

Status: Incomplete. Last updated Jan 10, 2015.

https://fanfiction.net/s/7476705/1/The-First-Flower-of-Spring

Hollow Point

Summary: Arms dealing is her trade, but young and in a man's world, it takes a criminal mastermind to play with the big dogs without getting bit. TobiSaku/ItaSaku. Crime!AU. Rated M for mentions of adult themes.

Pairing: Tobisaku. Itasaku.

Word count: 137k

Status: Incomplete. Last updated Nov 22, 2019.

https://fanfiction.net/s/12960050/1/Hollow-Point

The Vessel

Summary: I started out as a girl without memories in a foreign land, and life took a turn for the worse after that. Sakura-centric. (This is a crossover between AOT and Naruto.)

Pairing: Levi x Sakura

Word count: 282k

Status: Incomplete. Last updated May 27, 2019.

https://fanfiction.net/s/10032202/1/The-Vessel

The Man in Black

Summary: A man in black haunts her hospital. But what does he want and why is it that Sakura is the only one that can see him? ItaSaku. Modern Myth AU. Death AU

Pairing: Itasaku

Word count: 9k

Status: Complete. Oneshot.

https://fanfiction.net/s/13160495/1/The-Man-in-Black

Close to Home

Summary: Something in his eyes told her, it was always you. [SasuSaku. Blank period. Bonus chapters to come.]

Pairing: Sasusaku

Word count: 38k

Status: Complete.

https://fanfiction.net/s/12884838/1/Close-to-home

Dirt and Ashes, or the One-and-a-Half Body Problem

Summary: The invasion of Konoha during the chuunin exam didn't fail. Team seven is broken, people are dead, and Sakura is hurt and frightened and a very long way from home. Alternative summary: In which Sakura carries half of Hidan across two countries, leaving a trail of blood, bodies, and other people's legs.

Pairing: N/A

Word count: 90k

Status: Complete

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4012402/chapters/9015190

Nightmare in Red

Summary: Haruno Sakura used to think the eyes were the windows to the soul, but after witnessing the horrors of the Sharingan firsthand, she's convinced they are the doors. Itasaku. Nonmass.

Pairing: Itasaku

Word count: 109k

Status: Complete.

https://fanfiction.net/s/12024623/1/Nightmare-in-Red

I Found You Missing

Summary: 'They're asking us because these soldiers have absolutely no one left to write home to,' Sakura thought with a frown. So she signs up for the Shinobi Letter Exchange, not realizing how large the consequences would be. - AUish one-shot [KakaSaku]

Pairing: Kakasaku

Word count: 18k

Status: Complete. Oneshot.

https://fanfiction.net/s/10752939/1/I-Found-You-Missing

Five Kingdoms for the Dead

Summary: After the Forest of Death, Sakura comes to realize that being weak is no longer an option. However, she finds that change is sometimes painful and that truth doesn't always come easy. Luckily, she'll have some help along the way.

Pairing: N/A

Word count: 220k

Status: Complete.

https://fanfiction.net/s/4545558/1/Five-Kingdoms-for-the-Dead

Catch 22

Summary: Sakura isn't weak because she lacks strength. She is weak because they protect her. Sakura-centric

Pairing: N/A

Word count: 106k

Status: Incomplete. Last updated Apr 22, 2013. (Yeah it's probably never going to be finished but still a good read)

https://fanfiction.net/s/5405135/1/Catch-22

Freedom in the Eyes of Another

Summary: The Wave Mission was a failure. They got caught, captured, taken-it didn't end well. Now Sakura has a half-heard order, uncut fingernails, and more desperation than bravery. One way or another, she's getting Team Seven out today. Complete.

Pairing: N/A

Word count: 20k

Status: Complete.

https://fanfiction.net/s/7281191/1/Freedom-in-the-Eyes-of-Another

Stripped Bare

Summary: When Sakura wanted a change of pace, she hadn't expected THIS! Now she's on a mission with Kakashi, masquerading as a dancer at a club far away from home and she finds herself forced to explore her own powers of sexuality and seduction. KakaSaku (Rated M)

Pairing: Kakasaku

Word count: 295k

Status: Complete.

https://fanfiction.net/s/3998157/1/Stripped-Bare

The Way of the Wind

Summary: ANBU Captain Uchiha Itachi had things well planned out, until a medic-nin with ridiculous hair went and made herself interesting. Sakura insisted she was just doing her job, but Itachi didn't quite see it that way. Non-massacre. Sakura/Itachi.

Pairing: Itasaku

Word count: 158k

Status: Complete.

https://fanfiction.net/s/4136594/1/The-Way-of-the-Wind

Take It or Leave It

Summary: Akatsuki & Sakura. After a moment of shock, Sakura realized that two fully grown, fully naked men were sitting squished uncomfortably together in her bathtub. (This one has a huge plot twist. Don't let the summary turn you off from this story)

Pairing: N/A

Word count: 79k

https://fanfiction.net/s/3608990/1/Take-It-or-Leave-It

Found

Summary: Deidara & Sakura. He was peculiar and a little too observant for her tastes, but he was also alone, just like her, at the fault of this supercilious war. So she would dance with him, just until they could both forget how much they had lost.

Pairing: Deisaku

Word count: 105k

Status: Complete.

https://fanfiction.net/s/3478457/1/Found

Vertigo

Summary: Sakura accepts the most critical and dangerous mission of her life, but the price of success may very well be her soul. When your entire world turns upside down, how do you keep from going under? DeiSaku.

Pairing: Deisaku

Word count: 201k

Status: Complete

https://fanfiction.net/s/4146785/1/Vertigo

Somewhere I Have Never Travelled, Gladly Beyond

Summary: Naruto had been bragging all day that his new jutsu was his best yet. Sakura and her new situation beg to differ. Post timeskip. DeiSaku.

Pairing: Deisaku

Word count: 82k

Status: Complete

https://fanfiction.net/s/3281376/1/Somewhere-I-Have-Never-Travelled-Gladly-Beyond

Seven Days

Summary: A mission gone awry lands two squeakyclean ninja in the Konoha Prison for a week. One cell. Seven Days. What could possibly happen? [Aside from the obvious throttling, of course. This is Kakashi and Sakura we're talking about].

Pairing: Kakasaku

Word count: 68k

Status: Incomplete. Last updated Mar 25, 2008. (It's been over a decade so it's a lost cause.)

https://fanfiction.net/s/3063206/1/Seven-Days

The Window

Summary: Sakura always wanted to see Kakashi unmasked. This was a bit much though...

Pairing: Kakaskau

Word count: 165k

Status: Complete

https://fanfiction.net/s/3161976/1/The-Window

Fated

Summary: Sakura runs from her past as Kakashi wants to run from life. Naruto and Genma witness the painful trials their friends must go through.

Pairing: Sasusaku. Kakasaku

Word count: 124k

Status: Complete

https://fanfiction.net/s/2144296/1/Fated

Loyalty

Summary: Blind loyalty is simple. The problem only begins when the world makes you open your eyes. Sakura-centric, AU, pre-timeskip.

Pairing: N/A

Word count: 243k

Status: Incomplete. Last updated Dec 3, 2019.

https://fanfiction.net/s/5316196/1/Loyalty

#sakura haruno #bamf sakura #sakura fic recs #naruto fic recs #sakura fanfic #ffnet #ao3 #pro-sakura #sakura centric #sakura haruno fic #fanfic #fanfiction #sasusaku #itasaku #deisaku #kakasaku #shikasaku

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utaprifanzine · 5 years

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Concept Pitch: Prismatic v2 + Fantasy AU Zine

(Quick reminder that secondary admin applications are also still open! So, if you’re interested in helping us out with the project outlined below, feel free to apply here!)

To start, I want to clarify that either project, regardless of it we go forward with only one or both, would not be starting until next year.

This concept pitch is being released now, rather than closer to the end of the year, because if we do go ahead with both projects, there will be a smaller round of applications in November in preparation for the main round of applications in February. This will be explained in further detail below the cut.

There is also a feedback form (link) for this pitch that we’d like to ask everyone interested to fill out. As per last time, if it gets over 70 responses then we’ll do at least one of the zines, but whether or not we do both and/or how we do them will depend on the responses.

Two main things will be decided by the responses in this form: -> Whether or not we do both projects or just one (four possible scenarios explained below the cut) -> The exact theme of the AU zine (“ ”)

The following information will be split into three categories: “Zine Content”, “Applications”, and “Possible Schedules”

“Possible Schedules” is where you’ll find all four advancement options outlined and explained, and “Zine Content” will contain the possible themes we’re looking at for the AU zine.

That being said, this will still be a strictly non-profit project (not affiliated with a charity), and the content rules set in place for the first volume of prismatic will not be changing.

However, we will allow submitted AUs to have more mature plots/themes as well as implied/referenced ships provided that the content produced for the zine does not contain those themes or those ships (i.e. if the plot for AU ends in a particular ship, that’s fine, as long as the final writing/art that goes into publication for the zine is generic. Your AU won’t be penalized in the application review for simply containing ships or mature themes).

There’s a lot of information below the cut, so we’ve highlighted the most important pieces in bold!

Zine Content

In this section, we’re going to be talking about each zine in it’s own subsection, so that it doesn’t get confusing. Prismatic first, followed by the AU zine.

Prismatic V2 (Working Title)

This would be a second volume of Prismatic. It would pick up where the first volume left off and cover the next 7 gacha and 14 events leading up to (and including) the 1st anniversary of the game. The cover, prints/merch, and overall design would be based on the “My Only Prince” UR set.

All events/gacha will be represented by a double page spread, that has an A4 illustration on the left hand side and a piece of flash fiction on the right. The MOP gacha will have four double page spreads (for a total of eight pages) that would feature four A4 illustrations and four pieces of flash fiction. The estimated page count is 60.

The gacha and events to be featured are as follows:

Gacha: Events:

Cheerful & Happy Valentines The Confused Soloist

Grateful White Day Aqua Crystal

Shining Sports Day Inspector Kurusu’s Pursuit

Fantasy Circus Professor Renarty’s Scheme

Caught in the Rain Shining Solo Series Cecil

Marine Festival Shining Solo Series Tokiya

Glittering Summer Festival Night No More Say

MOP: A Class + Cecil No More Bets

MOP: S Class Shining Solo Series Masato

MOP: Reiji & Ranmaru Resolute March

MOP: Ai & Camus Renegades in Unison

Starflowers Bloom at Night

Steal Your Heart

Shining Solo Series Ren

As far as contributors, we would have 25 writer slots and 45 artist slots, the latter including print, chibi, and cover artists.

AU Zine

This zine would feature fanmade AUs involving the Utapri characters.

There would be six featured AUs (two per idol group, so Starish, QN, and Heavens would all be represented), that would have eight pages each; four for art and four for writing. There will also be a four page story to go with the cover design, but the cover (and, by extension, the cover story) will depend on the final theme for the zine.

We’re looking to make this zine fantasy-themed, and have narrowed down three distinct themes that we could use. You can vote for your favourite one in the feedback form!

Possible Themes: -> High Fantasy: Mythical Creatures and Magical Powers -> Dark Fantasy: Monsters and Mayhem -> Urban Fantasy: Steampunk and Sci-fi

The estimated page count for the zine is 64 pages, and we would have contributor slots for 7 writers and 20 artists (incl. cover, chibi, and print). There would be three contributors working on each AU – one writer and two artists – and the creation period would also be longer.

Applications

Once again, this section will be split into two subsections for each zine!

Prismatic (“regular” applications)

Applications for Prismatic would be our main application period and would be open for three weeks (last week of Jan 2020 through Feb 15 2020).

The process would largely be the same as it was for the first issue, with separate forms for artists, writers, and cover design. However, in response to feedback from our first zine, there would be changes to the limitations on those forms.

Firstly, artists will be able to submit more than 5 samples, provided that all their samples are in one folder. There will also probably be a limit in the total number of samples/images, but that will be decided later.

For writers, we will be introducing a limit of 5000 words across all submitted samples per application. This means that the total word count of all the samples a writer submits for their application must not be greater than 5000 words.

Secondly, unlike last time, at least one of a writer’s samples must be a stand alone piece that does not exceed 1000 words, given that the pages you’d be applying for would be flash fiction pieces of 500 words or less.

The applications and review would still be done by page, so your application would only be reviewed/considered for the specific pages that you select on the form. However, since this time we know in advance that we’d be accepting print and chibi artists, artists will be able to select which positions they would like to be considered for.

AU Zine

If we go ahead with the AU zine, there would be two opportunities to apply as a contributor.

The first application period would be held over the entire month of November, and would only be for interested applicants to submit their AU ideas to the zine. We would be holding this round of applications separate to “regular” applications in order to pin down which six AUs will be featured in the zine, so that we can allow interested contributors to apply for both zines at the same time in February, during the main/second round of applications.

As mentioned before, there would be three people working on each AU, but one of these three will be the creator/owner of the AU. They can be either the writer or one of the artists and would also be submitting samples of their own work alongside their AU information, since they would also be required to be a contributor, should their AU be chosen for the zine. We would not be accepting AUs without their creator.

To submit an AU idea, applicants would need to provide the following information on their AU:

-> a character relationship chart -> rough outline of at least three plot/story arcs (among these, there must be at least 1 main plotline and 1 subplot) -> character designs for each member of the group to be the focus of the AU (can be rough sketches/concepts) -> description/explanation on the lore of the fantastical elements of the AU (dependent on the type of fantasy we settle on for the theme) -> basic worldbuilding (incl. social hierarchies, environmental information, general landscapes and territories, historical information relevant to major plot points/places/characters) -> brief backstory for each member of the group in focus

(It’s also worth noting that the submitted AUs must be noticeably different from any similar existing official utapri AUs or collaborations. i.e. you can’t submit a vampire AU with the QPot Sweets Vampire designs and you can’t submit a Pirate AU that has the same plot as Pirates of the Frontier)

(you will also be allowed to submit an AU that you’ve already posted content for online. However you will be required to produce new content for it should it be accepted into the zine)

The idea behind having all these requirements, is to show us that you, as the creator, have fleshed out the AU enough so that a writer or an artist can easily write or draw something for it using the information that you already have. The two contributors that would be working with you to produce content for the zine are not responsible for creating/fleshing out your AU for you and should ideally be able to work from the information you already have.

You will also not be expected to uphold a high level of quality for the positions that you are not applying for. That is to say, if you submitted your AU and are applying as the writer for it, don’t worry about the quality/skill level of your artwork. Likewise, if you’re applying as an artist, don’t worry about the craftsmanship of your writing.

(We’re also looking into providing templates for people to use for the AU application, to make the process easier).

After the six AUs have been picked, the types of AUs (i.e. Starish Vampire AU, Heavens Pirate AU, etc.) and the remaining positions for each would be announced before “regular” applications in February and interested contributors would be able to apply for those positions at the same time as Prismatic. Both would be available on the same application form.

However, unlike Prismatic, the owners of the AUs will not be announced until after the main application period is over, to prevent people from applying to contribute to a particular AU just because a specific person created it.

Possible Schedules

The whole idea behind running two zines at once was to not only allow more people to participate, but also to avoid running a zine where the contributor slots were too few and too limited (as is the case with the current concept for the AU zine).

My original planned schedule was to run both at once, have pre-orders for both open at the same time, and have both release on the same day for the sake of simplicity - however, this hypothetical schedule received a rather mixed response, particularly in regards to selling both zines at the same time.

In response to this, I’ve instead planned out four possible schedules going forward: two where both zines are done, and two where only one of the zines is done. In terms of feedback, I’m asking anyone interested in either contributing or buying the finished product to read over schedules and consider which one you think is better, then let us know on the feedback form!

Ultimately, this is purely a passion project for the fanbase, so it does matter a lot to us what you all think is best.

Schedule #1: Both Zines Run at the Same Time This was the original concept, where both zines were run, went up for pre-order, and were released at the same time. The rough schedule was: -> November: 1st round of applications (AU ideas only) -> December: AU ideas reviewed -> late January – February: Main applications for Prismatic & AU zine are opened, closed, and reviewed -> March 1st: creation period begins -> late April: Prismatic final submissions -> early-mid May: AU final submissions -> late May: pre-orders open (both zines) -> mid-June: pre-orders close (both zines) -> mid- July: both zines release

Schedule #2: Both zines are released separately

The idea here was in response to the concern of having both zines for sale at the same time and scheduled for release at the same time being counterproductive to the success of the project, given the utapri is still a relatively small fandom in the west. For this variant, the schedule remains the same, right up until pre-orders open: -> late May: pre-orders open (Prismatic only) -> mid-June: pre-orders closed (Prismatic only) -> mid-July: Prismatic releases -> mid- August: Prismatic contributors can post their works online -> mid-September: pre-orders open (AU only) -> mid- October: pre-orders closed (AU only) -> mid-November: AU zine released (US orders sent) -> mid-December: International AU orders sent

*Note: the delay in shipping between US and international orders would be due to Jinx being in the US from mid-August to mid-December. No-one wants to ship internationally from the US. It’s a nightmare.

Schedule #3: only Prismatic runs

In this case, the schedule would remain the same as it is in schedule #1, except that any AU-only related dates would be taken out, since Prismatic would be the only zine running.

Schedule #4: only the AU zine runs In this case, the schedule would remain the same as it is in schedule #1, except that any Prismatic-only dates would be taken out, since Prismatic would not be running.

In addition, here we would also have the option of either running a double volume of the AU zine (i.e. take all the specs outlined for the content and double it) or producing two volumes, each with a different theme. If this is your preferred schedule, make sure to vote for which option you’d prefer!

And that wraps up our concept pitch! Thank you to everyone who’s read this far and please consider (if you are able and have the time) to fill out the feedback form to let us know what you thoughts are for this project!

Sincerely,

The Utapri Fanzine Team

#utapri #uta no prince sama #shining live #uta no prince shining live #utapri fanzine #concept pitch

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sweetdeathwrites · 5 years

Text

You Are The Right One

Pairing: Gokudera Hayato/Reader

Summary: Gokudera knows what you mean to him. But what does he mean to you?

Warnings: fluff, romance, some sexual situations/suggestiveness (i.e. Gokudera is thirsty), angst

Word Count: 6,929

(Songfic to You Are The Right One by Sports)

(re/cross?posted from my AO3 and Luna! Original A/N below)

(Hi!! I know I've been gone a long time and I'm SORRY!! I've been going through a lot of stuff (I've been in 3 productions since the last time I've posted .. i think it's only 3.. but I've been a NAMED character in 2 out of 3!! the third one doesn't count bc it was a bunch of skits and so strict plot... so i guess that means... i was a named character in BOTH of my productions?~ I just performed in Grease 2 days ago on friday as Jan, my twinkie girl!! I got to eat twinkies on stage!! It was v exciting and I had a blast! some people I know from the hawaii theatre came down to see me and one of my dad's movie friends and they loved me! one of them told my mom i'm going to broadway! haha!!! ^v^ isn't that sweet? I don't think so but that's a lovely hope, isn't it? I'd like to dedicate this fic to someone who means the world to me, the lovely GuardianAngel07! I love you so much and I know that you're going through a lot right now and I just want you to know I'm always here for you, no matter what, and I know that you are busy and have a lot on your mind, and I just want you to know I'm never mad if we don't talk for a while! I think you get a little worried and feel guilty when we don't talk, but that's not it at all! I care for you so much and if your mental health needs you to take a break, then TAKE that break, honey!!!1! I'm always here to support you and I want what's best for you, mentally, physically, and emotionally!! I care for you a whole lot, okay? I'm always in your corner!!! I'm sorry that this fic isn't what I originally planned to gift to you (the original was much sweeter!! and less angsty!!) but this was the one that was most finished and I figured that anything with our lovely KHR boys would help to cheer you up! I hope you like it!!,, Uhm.... I've also got a lot planned! I released a LONG hannibal fic on AO3 and it's not the best bc I started it 2 years ago.yikes... but I'm finally gonna write for it again after a year but I'm going to revamp it (at least fix the grammar!) before I release it here! It's v violent and prolly gonna get really sexual too, so there's a warning, but i'll warn again when I actually post it. to be truthful, I had this almost fully done for months. I just hated it and hated it and hated it. I've been hating my writing a lot recently which isn't good bc I want to finish a book before I graduate and I'm taking an AP english exam on the 16th, so it's awful timing. I haven't been doing the best but I'm looking forward to summer........ only 18 more days left before I'm free.... then I have summer then I'm a senior and ..yikes....;;; but I've got some summer plans! I'm going to cut and dye my hair (I just realized nothing is stopping me from getting a Guzma cut and dye... then I can dye my hair pink!! and any other color after!!!) and I'll visit a friend in alaska, then I'll get a job somewhere.......... i got no college fund........... sorry for dragging on and on!! uhhhh just expect more from me (hopefully soon..... @GuardianAngel07 i hope ur ready for more awful songfics from me.... because i've written some reeeeaaaaallll angsty and sad ones, already with u in mind!! why do you always get the worst of the bunch.......,,,) love u all! and please leave a review if u enjoyed this! I seriously would've stopped posting all together if it wasn't for some incredibly kind people (looking at you, GA07!!) and a recent review for my hannibal fic on AO3 (or rather, reviews. yes, this person left MULTIPLE. very detailed and heartfelt, and I was giddy for days after!! So if you want more, PLEASE leave a review!! it's not fun to post and feel like you're just yelling into a void!! yell back at me!)

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You were the right way I was just waiting for you to look at me Is there a wrong time? Baby, I’m guessing Just let me know He can never get a break, can he? Gokudera sighed, smoke curling past his lips into the chill autumn air. The leaves were just beginning to change color and he cursed how the light cast amber shadows over the smooth plane of your face, cursed how he couldn’t trace the honey light with his fingertips and kiss the darkness away. His tongue clicked against his teeth and he took another drag of his cigarette. Hayato tried to ignore you. He really did. But how can he, when you look as good as you do with a rose-pink blush that covers your cheeks and ears when someone cracks a joke that makes you laugh until you can barely catch your breath? How your jaw drops open in delight before you remember where you are and hide your smile with your hand– something he desperately hoped you would lose the habit of because, god, did you look pretty when you smiled– and blot away the joyful tears in your eyes? How could he not give you his complete, undivided attention when you were as sugar-sweet as you were? His jade eyes flickered back to you again, almost against his will. Your face was bright, eyes glinting in the soft light of the dying afternoon as you teased one of your friends, grinning widely as they swiped playfully at you in return. Gokudera groaned and his head slumped back against the pillar he was leaning against a little too quick, sending an unpleasant shock up his spine. “Shit,” he hissed, stomping out his cigarette on the concrete behind Namimori High and massaging the back of his skull gingerly. What a day. First, Tsuna and Yamamoto had nearly been killed on their way to school again; of course, Gokudera saved both of them, although Yamamoto he saved slightly more reluctantly. Gokudera was strong– of course he was, he wasn’t Tsuna’s right hand for nothing. He just wished he could prove to you that he was strong enough for you, too… Then, that bastard that patrolled the school like some kind of obsessive freak was on his back again. Something about being late for class. Reborn showed up and solved the matter rather quickly, but that didn’t keep Gokudera from steaming out the ears for another hour or so. But the worst part of the day? It was definitely you, without a doubt. You filled his head, turning his thoughts and coherency to cotton in his head and made his mouth as dry as summer. Summer… Gokudera remembered, during lunch period, that you had gone to the beach with him and his friends. You wore a red bathing suit. Red as the fireworks at the summer festival, where he almost told you his feelings but panicked at the last second– but that was a story for another time–and, at one point, clung to his arm to whine about how hot the sun was, and how you were definitely going to get a sunburn. When Gokudera grumbled something back to you about reapplying sunscreen you had winked at him, grinning wide and asking if he wanted to help you with that. By then, there was no doubt in his mind that his milky skin was as red as your bathing suit. From his blushing, dazed haze, you managed to squeeze a frozen lemonade and a plain vanilla ice cream out of him and his wallet. “Share?” you gently cocked your head to one side and held out the icy drink for Gokudera to taste. His mouth was incredibly dry, as it always seemed to be around you– damn you, and damn him for being so weak for you– and he hesitated. You sipped your lemonade languidly and blinked up at him, heavy eyelashes fluttering and all doe-eyed, and his chest clenched in such a way that it brought him agony and ecstasy in equal measure. “Hm?” you hummed, waiting for an answer. He opened his mouth to deny your offer when a heavy stream of melted ice cream rolled down the side of the cone and over your hand. A surprised yelp and a curse left your throat as you hurried to clean the treat off of the cone. When you switched the cone to your other hand to lick the drops of vanilla from your palm, Gokudera’s brain snapped back to being fully functional and he hurriedly agreed to sharing with you. As you complained once again about the heat and the lack of more interesting ice cream flavors at the snack bar, Gokudera thought of how silly he was being for thinking of sharing the ice cream as an indirect kiss– an indirect tongue kiss, more accurately. But more honestly, it was more like the two of you just swapped spit–but that’s not a very pleasant thing to think of, no matter how much he liked you. He wasn’t in middle school anymore; he shouldn’t be so swayed by this! He shouldn’t feel so hot and his heart shouldn’t be beating so fast. A cool ocean breeze swept your hair away from your face as you shook ice chunks in your frozen lemonade, loosening them enough to drink. Gokudera turned his gaze to the clear blue sea, his friends wading in it, and the lazy scrawl of puffy white clouds across the sky and he wondered if he could gather the courage to ask for a sip of the lemonade, too. If he was only going to get an indirect kiss, he wanted a proper one. Slowly coming out of his reverie, Gokudera realized he had been looking at you the whole time. The shade that Namimori cast over him wasn’t enough to cool his embarrassed blush and he hoped you hadn’t noticed. Gokudera nearly jumped out of his skin when something in his pocket buzzed. He fished out his phone– obviously, of course it was his phone. He must be more tired than he thought, to be startled by his own phone. [Baseball Freak] whatcha lookin at? Snapping his head up, Gokudera scanned his surroundings, looking for any sign of Yamamoto. God, how embarrassing to be caught staring at his crush by the person most likely to tease him about it… [Baseball Freak] up here Yamamoto was leaning out of one of the windows of a classroom far above Gokudera’s head, waving at him without a care in the world. It was then that Gokudera remembered why he was waiting outside at all, staring at you so wistfully– Tsuna and Takeshi had to attend an after school remedial session for their poor grades… No matter how many tutoring sessions they both received from Reborn and Hayato and a variety of other eccentric characters that always seemed to appear out of nowhere, they still couldn’t retain anything they learned… especially not math. Shaking his head angrily, the silver haired boy punched out a response to him but his phone buzzed again before he could send it. [Baseball Freak] see something over there u like? I think u do~~~ aren’t they just sooo cute?? >///7///< Gokudera bit his tongue. How dare Yamamoto say that about you?! It was true, he had to admit, but his pride was hurt from being so easily caught, heart read with such dead-on accuracy that he responded the only way he knew how to. [Me] PISS OFF A rich laugh filled the air above him and only served to spur Gokudera on, cracking his knuckles, clenching his jaw, and wishing he could beat Takeshi into taking what he said back. [Baseball Freak] u know, if u don’t make a move, someone else will………….they’re so pretty and smart and nice!! who wouldn’t want to date them?~ Gokudera’s rage calmed, eerily still. He knew that someone would make a move on you if he didn’t soon. He didn’t miss the way that the boys in the class would offer to carry your bags and would do anything to get just a little closer to you to sling their arms around your shoulders, pretending to show you something in a book, and to breathe in your light perfume. Or the way that girls would bite their lips and giggle when you told a joke and how they would bat their eyelashes and tease you and play with your hair just a little too much for it to be considered strictly friendly. Hayato knew he wasn’t the only person looking to add you to his dating pool and he also knew he wasn’t the best candidate to win your heart. It was a subject that often haunted his brain late at night, a miasma of doubt and self-hatred that cut deep into his heart when no one was there to see him cry. He was too loud, too violent, and too crude for someone like you to fall for. Too dangerous. It didn’t help that Yamamoto was the polar opposite of him– warm, friendly, and kind enough to be anyone’s dream man. And it definitely didn’t help that Yamamoto often wrapped his arm around your shoulders and brought you into his chest when there was nothing else for him to do with his hands. That happened often and made Gokudera more broken hearted than he would ever admit. [Baseball Freak] so? r u gonna say anything to them???? Gokudera had his heart set on you but his brain told him, quite logically, that you would never like someone like him back. Whoever said that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all was a damn fool. [Me] mind ur business. Up above, there was a sigh loud enough for Gokudera to hear and he knew instantly that he had made the wrong move. He looked up just in time to hear Yamamoto call your name in a sing-songy voice, to see him through weak, orange sun rays, waving cheerfully at you. Gokudera snapped his gaze to you to see your hair bounce with each cute head turn as you looked for the source of the voice. Yamamoto called your name again and Gokudera registered that not only had he used your first name but he added a “-chan” to the end of it– what a double-crossing bastard! You found him and Hayato’s lungs felt tight, but not as a result of his chain-smoking. Your face lit up–your pretty, beautiful, drop-dead gorgeous face– and you yelled back a greeting and swung your arms around wildly back at Takeshi, heels lifting off the ground in delight with your ministrations. Hayato’s gaze flickered back up to Takeshi just in time to see the brunet pointing down at him vigorously. Your sight followed Takeshi’s direction and you locked gazes with Hayato. His breath caught somewhere between his throat and chest and his heart pounded against his ribcage, furiously trying to escape this terribly humiliating situation. Just let me know As soon as you saw him, your eyes widened slightly and you gave him an embarrassed, genuine smile as you tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. It was strange; he didn’t think that you had anything to be embarrassed about. You were deathly adorable when excited, even if it was because you were excited to see that baseball idiot. He hoped to whatever higher being that was out there– and he knew something was out there: aliens, at least– that he hadn’t imagined that sweet, pink blush that dusted your cheeks and ears and ran down your neck. He was smiling back at you, equally as shyly, before he knew it. Well, it’s been a long time Since you’ve been lonely So what will I do? You are the right one And I’m just a boy who Is looking at you “Hey, Hayato?” you called. His spine straightened, vertebra by vertebra, at the sound of your voice. You had used his first name– sure, you had been doing it for a while, but still every time you called him so endearingly, it sent hot, smoky electricity up his spine. The way the bed sheets creased under your small body and lazy afternoon sunlight dappled your visage had his head reeling. There you were, lounging and at peace with the world, in his apartment, in his bed. “What?” He didn’t mean to sound so brusque– but then again, he doesn’t mean many of the things he says with his angry disposition. Especially to you. “Why do you turn down everyone that confesses to you? Don’t you want to… well… I don’t know, fool around with someone? I mean, we’re in highschool, this is supposed to be the most reckless time of our lives, right? Why not live a little?” Your head tilted to the side, hair falling into your eyes. His fingers itched to brush it out of your face and your own fingers played with something on your phone. Probably texting, some faceless guy or girl, flirting, playing coy and– “Hayato?” He shivered, loving how his name sounded on your soft lips. “I don’t know, idiot. I’m mean, but not mean enough to do something like that to some kid stupid enough to think they like me.” He settles for brushing his own hair out of his face. You turn over on your stomach, “I guess…” Something about your tone when you say that makes Gokudera narrow his eyes in suspicion. Did something happen to you to make you upset? Why were you bringing up this topic now? Why were you bringing it up to him? “I just think it’s a waste, y’know?” you ran a hand through your hair and locked your phone, placing it to the side. Your eyes slid closed and Hayato realized how close your head was to his lap, how easily he could pet your hair and have you doze off in his embrace. You looked sleepy enough anyway– would a little nap hurt the both of you? “Hayato, don’t you know how handsome you are?” you mumbled dreamily. “You could get anyone you want, anyone, and you chose to sit here and do nothing. Why?” Hayato couldn’t think. His head was full of steel wool and his blood thrummed loudly through him. You called him handsome. You called him handsome. When his breath came back to him in a barely noticeable gasp, he couldn’t filter the words that tumbled out of his mouth. “I can’t.” “What?” your eyes slowly opened and you leaned up on an elbow, looking quizzically up at him. “I can’t get anyone I want.” “Why not?” His lungs filled shallowly and he turned his face away from you, focusing on the empty street below, through his room’s window. The sun cast golden light and deep, lavender shadows across the world and Hayato knew that if he looked at you right now, everything would go to shit. He’d see your face; all the perfections and beautiful flaws and you would see through him as if he were glass blown, see how desperate he was for you and how his insides were twisting and trembling in fear and reverence, in equal measure, of your power over him. You would recoil, disgust drawn over your lovely face in terribly sharp lines and you would see how his heart would break over and over again. “Sometimes you just can’t.” Your lips curled into a frown and his brows furrowed; he could tell that much by your silence. Unsatisfied with his answer, you huffed and threw yourself back down on the bed, the crown of your head knocking against his thigh. Your hair splayed out around your face, angelic, and Hayato was lucky that your eyes had once again shut to accept the call of the dream world, because if they hadn’t, you would’ve seen how absolutely helpless he looked, gazing at you. So what will I do? His tongue darted out to smooth over his dry lower lip and he felt the faint sting of the thin skin there– cracked. He tasted iron and swallowed thickly. Gokudera wished he was closer to you, so much closer to you than he was, but he was doubtful his heart would be able to handle that. Your breathing started to slow and Hayato found his hand smoothing over your soft hair and you jolted violently, startling the both of you. You stared up at him, eyes full of stars and planets far away, and he laughed airily. He shook his head, silently telling you, No, don’t wake up just yet, everything’s fine. You accepted this without question and closed your eyes again. This time, Hayato gently slid his hands under your head and guided you towards his lap. He arranged himself comfortably on an array of flattened pillows and stroked your hair as you lay, safe and happy in his lap. A single eye peeked at him– slyly, cat-like– before you hummed and shifted closer to him. A contented sigh slipped through Hayato’s lips and he himself started to feel drowsy. In his dreamy stupor, his hand trailed down your face, down your neck, and down, down your arm until he had your fingers gently entwined with his. Sure, it may have just been an unconscious reaction, but the way your hand squeezed his back made his dreams lovely and surreal and hallucinatory, in all the best ways. I tried the wrong way I was guessing Biding my time You are the only One I can picture By my side “Gokudera, what’s up?” Takeshi nodded at the silver-haired bomber as he approached, strangely insightful today with his clear, milk chocolate eyes. The boy in question merely grumbled vaguely, hands shoved deep in his pockets, as if he was fishing for the answer to Yamamoto’s question down there as well. “That bad, huh?” Gokudera rolled his eyes. It wasn’t rare for him and Yamamoto to arrive at Tsuna’s house before the young mafia boss could flee from it, already anxious and sweaty. Today was no different. “Hey, at least you tried, right?” Yamamoto offered a weak smile, knowing how much you meant to Gokudera. His shoulders were hiked up to his ears and Takeshi didn't miss how the hot, red ring on Gokudera’s cigarette quickly crawled down to the filter before he was tapping out another from his near-empty box and sucking on the new cigarette, lighting it with the dying butt of the used one. He tossed the old one down and ground it into the asphalt. Takeshi frowned. The baseball star shifted the bag on his shoulder uncomfortably, his bats for after school practice clinking metallically. “ … I didn't.” Gokudera kept his gaze locked on a lamp post down the block. Takeshi blinked, not expecting a response from Gokudera’s sunken frame. “What?” “I didn't try.” It took Takeshi a moment to understand what Gokudera meant before grimacing with a little more than a dash of friendly pity in his eyes. He shifted his weight from his hip, seeking to comfort Gokudera, but decided against it at the last moment. “Why?” his voice came out in a gentle rasp. Gokudera still refused to look at him, green eyes clouded and trained on a particularly colorful poster on that singular lamp post. Seconds ticked by before Hayato groaned and dragged a hand down his face, pinching his cigarette in frustration with his other hand. “I can’t! I just can’t. I know they don’t feel the same and I know I’ll break if they have to say it to my face. I can’t handle that. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to handle that. God, Yamamoto, I just can’t take that chance.” Being around them is– it’s just too much and too little for me to take– I’m going crazy here, driving myself in circles and spinning out, spinning my goddamn wheels because of them. It’s fuckin’ sickening but I don’t want a cure. I feel so helpless and I hate it, I never want to feel this way again. What the hell did I do to deserve this?” Gokudera’s eyes snapped shut, face contorted in agony. “I can’t tell them. I can’t. I want them to be happy. It’s better this way anyway. I’m not good enough.” Gokudera’s voice cracked on his last word before his declaration faded into the morning’s stillness. Yamamoto was insulted– his best friend talking about himself this way? Not in a million years, if he had any say in it– but Gokudera snapped at him before he could get a word in. “And don’t say shit about me being good enough, because we both know I’m not good enough for them. I’ll never be good enough, Yamamoto, that’s not me. I wouldn’t be able to hold them as much as I should, to kiss their gorgeous fucking face– I wouldn’t be able to be fucking honest, Takeshi. They deserve more than the bullshit excuses I’d spew to cover our fucking asses when we get the crap kicked out of us on a bi-weekly basis. They don’t deserve that.” Silence weighed like velvet over the two of them and the sun was now calling out songbirds, sleepy murmurs from the neighborhood beginning to wake from the heavy slumber of the night. Yamamoto didn’t know what to say anymore and Gokudera put the cigarette back where it belonged: between his lips, funneling poison straight to his lungs. “ … I don’t think it’s like that, Hayato. You’re being too harsh on yourself. I really don’t think they feel that way about you.” Hayato said nothing and kept his eyes glued to that single poster again. Yamamoto reached out and awkwardly patted his shoulder, mustering as much comfort as he could before he knew he would overstay his welcome. Hayato needed time to clear his head. “ … I’ll go inside to check up on Tsuna. Come inside soon, alright?” The response that didn’t meet him was enough to know Gokudera wouldn’t get better as quick as that. Takeshi sighed in sorrowful compassion before slowly making his way to Tsuna’s front door, carefully piecing together his cheerful mask yet again. The door shut quietly, and voices and vague, worrisome sounds came from within. Gokudera raised his hand to scrub furiously at his misty eyes, his bracelets clinking together and rings scraping his face and leaving thin, red lines around his eyes. He leaned back against the wall around his best friend’s house and his head banged against the concrete, painful and painfully familiar to something that had happened recently, involving you. “Fuck,” he hissed into the empty street. Class was boring, as it always was. There was nothing that could entertain him that was in Namimori’s curriculum. Tsuna managed to convince Gokudera to take college classes too, so that his development wouldn’t stall (and also because Gokudera being bored meant a bit more trouble for Tsuna, but he was genuinely concerned about Gokudera’s personal growth). But even those classes were much too easy for him. Something that wasn’t easy? Seeing you every damn day and not being able to do a thing about it. Getting closer, getting further, cutting you off completely– he couldn’t bring himself to do any of those. Gokudera tapped the eraser end of his pencil against his desk and sighed, staring out the classroom window into the clear blue sky. He couldn’t wait for summer again but, boy, did he like seeing you all bundled up in wool and cashmere and simply drowning in soft fabrics and cozy patterns. You were so cute with your nose red from the cold, lips burning pink from being bitten so much– he wouldn’t admit it to anyone, no, he would take this to his grave– but what he wouldn’t give to be the one to bite your lips instead, to hear you whimper and moan, just for him, and– A small collision with the side of his head brought him out of his daydreams. Curious and annoyed, Hayato brought a hand up to his hair and picked out a crumpled wad of paper. Who the hell had the balls to throw shit at him? He was still the scariest guy in Namimori (and no, Hibari doesn’t count, either). If anything, he should be terrorizing the rest of the class. Taking a less than subtle glance around the room, he caught your eyes staring at him eagerly. Taking a moment to compose himself, he averted his gaze to your note instead. Of course it was you that threw it at him. Who else? Wanna go to a bakery after school? Kyoko-chan was talking about it earlier and I can’t get it out of my head… I’ll pay if u want!! I want cake~~~ Hayato didn’t hold back the happy grin that spread over his face, sparing a glance at you, impatiently waiting for his reply, before scribbling something in his mostly neat penmanship under your barely legible chicken scratch. No need to pay. But yeah, that sounds p cool. Meet me right after school at the front gates? The teacher still had his back turned to the class, writing something that Gokudera already knew on the blackboard, droning on and on about logs and bases and inverses and irrational numbers or something equally useless. He knocked his hand back and threw from the shoulder, the small, now neatly folded note landing in the middle of your desk. You snatched it up quickly, hiding it just in time for the teacher to turn around and call on one of your classmates to answer a question. Gokudera couldn’t see you unfold the note but your arms were moving under the desk and you grabbed a pencil off the desk too. Gokudera remembered that pencil; it was thin, cute, and pink– with a brown bear on top. The bear held a red heart and its nose was in the same cute shape. There were patterns of hearts and stars in red and yellow and white, and Gokudera knew all of this because Kyoko had helped him pick it out to give it to you for your birthday. He thought giving you a gift with so many hearts was a bit forward– tactless, even– but Kyoko gave him a stern look and told him that nothing he could do would be forward enough when it came to you and, spluttering and flushed, he tried to deny his affections for you but only ended up confessing how he felt about you to Kyoko. Smiling gently like the angel she is, Kyoko let him talk her ear off about you for nearly an hour and a half. She earned a milkshake and a slice of strawberry cake for her bravery. You spun in your chair, clutching the edge of it in your small hand, and flicked the paper back to him. The message was a little more timid, he noticed. actually, can we meet on the roof after school?.. I have something I want to talk to u about, but it shouldn’t take long… We can go straight to the bakery if u don’t want to, tho!!!!! ^v^;; Gokudera recognized how you were trying to hide something from him with your overwhelming facade of consideration. Whenever you felt insecure about something, you always spent time making sure other people felt more comfortable and happy than you were, as if that would make you feel better yourself. A frown carried over his pale face and when he looked up, you were staring at him again. This time, you seemed to have carefully examined his face and your brows were furrowed. As soon as you met his eyes, you jumped, shaking your head and waving your hands to tell him, Don’t mind me, it’s nothing. Gokudera was just about to pen down a reply when the teacher turned around again and began talking to the class, not looking like he was going to turn his back on Gokudera any time soon. Hayato caught your eyes with his green ones and nodded quickly, mouthing ‘I’ll be there.’ Lunch was as it normally was. That is, filled with shouts and explosions and general chaos. However, this lunch period was noisier than it previously had been; a fact that only would have been noticed by the people present if they paid very careful attention to their volume. Gokudera noticed. Damn right, he noticed. Sure, you usually sat next to Takeshi. Sure, you had a habit of clinging to him as you laughed and whispering in his ear. And sure, sometimes you would call him Take-chan as you fed him bits of your own bentou– a fact that pissed Gokudera off endlessly. But what was different? Today you were nestled in Yamamoto’s side, tucked neatly away under his arm which alternated from wrapping around your shoulders to hold you to him and pulling you in by your waist to bring you nearly onto his lap. It stung Gokudera something awful. Watching the two of you laugh and whisper to each other felt like you had run Hayato’s heart over shrapnel and soothed his wounds with lemon and salt. He averted his jealous, but startlingly gentle gaze from you to the sky above you, willing tears not to come and cursing himself for feeling this way about you. “Hey, Take-chan!” You tugged on his shirt, the fabric over his chest, to bring his attention back to you. “Hmm?” You stole a glance at Gokudera and whispered giddily into Yamamoto’s ear. When you’re finished, Yamamoto made a sound that can only be described as pure elation, and he tugged you in even closer, tickling you in the process. You laughed and shrieked at him to stop and he only did so when you’re nearly in tears. Tsuna is having a muted conversation with Gokudera and he is trying to pay attention– honest– Gokudera is trying so goddamn hard, but it’s next to impossible when a grass-green snake hisses low in his belly over you writhing and laughing so happily in Takeshi’s lap. Yamamoto whispered hotly back into your ear and Gokudera sees something he wished he would never see from the two of you: you, with a hot blush crawling up your neck and Takeshi with his face practically in the crook of it, grinning all pearly white and eyes staring at you with such fucking dedicated tunnel vision. Gokudera wasn’t hungry anymore. Lunch ended and you gave Yamamoto one last quick hug before cleaning up your trash and putting everything away that you wanted to keep. Gokudera was slower than normal, taking all the time in the world and then some to get ready for class again. The door to the roof clanged shut and Gokudera let out a heavy sigh, eyes closed and trying to feel everything that he could– everything except his feelings, that is. He relished the cool breath of wind that blew against his face, tossing his hair around and whistling softly to him. He took account of the ground beneath him, hard and sturdy, and the sounds of teenagers filtering back into the school, complaining about their classes and each other. The one thing he didn’t hear–not until it was too late– was you. “Hayato?” you tugged on the back of his shirt, scaring him witless. He yelped like a kicked puppy and spun around to face you, composure long lost. He tried to say something but nothing left his lips; nothing coherent, at least. The hand that grasped his shirt didn’t cease touching him. It got even closer than before as you took a step, and then another, into his personal space. The height difference between you was just too much for him to handle and Gokudera felt himself simultaneously trying to pale and flush, unsure which won over in the end. Your hand slid along his waist, his side, and up his chest lightly. The smile that took root on your face was weak and bashful, even– and you bumped your forehead on his chest before you looked back up at him, an emotion he didn’t recognize dancing in your eyes. “Don’t forget, we’re meeting here after school, Hayato. You wouldn’t want to keep me waiting, would you?” Your finger tapped his chest teasingly, adding another beat to his pulse and he felt fire crawl up the base of spine at your nail scraping through his shirt. You blinked curiously up at him and his voice whispered to you, hoarse and against his will, “No, I wouldn’t.” Satisfied with that, you made sure that he had everything he had brought up to the roof with him, promptly forced him to offer his elbow to you, and curled yourself happily over his arm before leading the both of you down the stairs to finish the rest of the day’s lessons. The roof was empty except for Gokudera. As soon as school was over, he bid Tsuna and Yamamoto goodbye, telling them not to wait up for him. Yamamoto had a big, stupid grin on his face– But when does he not? Gokudera rationalized. There was something about that smile that showed that he knew more than he let on but Gokudera was much too preoccupied with thoughts of you to care. He leaned against the rails, not trusting it to hold him, careful not to put too much weight on it. He took a steadying breath. Breathe. It’s fine. Nothing’s wrong. But no matter what he told himself to stop the rapid, staccato drumming in his chest, his anxieties were not relieved in the slightest. He was afraid– god, how he was afraid. What did you want to talk to him about? Did you not want to be friends anymore? Did you grow tired of him? Did… Did you want to tell him you were dating Takeshi? “Hayato?” oh fuck Gokudera jumped. The amount of times you scared him witless was embarrassingly high. “Hey.” You smiled slightly. “Hey.” Something about you was different. Something was… off. The way your eyes drifted from him every other second before coming back to his concerned gaze was unusual, but even more unusual was the way your hands fidgeted behind your back. “So,” Hayato tried to get the words to come out. The light breeze that tossed your hair around your face in a halo didn’t help much, but he appreciated it anyway. “What’d you wanna talk about? I’m hungry as fuck.” It slipped out– Hayato’s cursing habit hijacked his mouth, nerves making him go on autopilot. At least you took it well; your eyes glinted in amusement and some of the tension between the two of you dissipated. A pink tongue darted out to soothe your dry lips and Hayato was a little too aware of it. “I’ve been meaning to tell you something for a while, but I just didn’t know how to tell you– it’s a bit… embarrassing, so don’t make fun of me, okay?” Your mouth was set in a firm line, eyes pleading and vulnerable. “Sure.” That wasn’t the reply you wanted but it was what it was. By my side “I…” you began, then lost the words you had planned. “You?..” Gokudera offered. He wasn’t sure he was ready for what you wanted to tell him or what it entailed, but he was sure that if it meant your happiness, he would do anything at all to keep you smiling. “It’s just that… You know, I–” you fumble over your words, frustration visible on your face. Gokudera scolded himself for thinking of you in this way when you so clearly don’t want him but he can’t help it. He’s worried over your affect on him before, but he never considered how weak he is to you or how strong your natural beauty is under the glow of a late afternoon and the crinkle of your brow with your courageous efforts… courageous efforts that you try to spell out but they fail, perched above your tongue. Your soft hands come down in frustration upon the hem of your shirt and you try again, slip again, and Gokudera is privy to the realization that this isn’t something he should take lightly any longer, no matter how much it calms his nerves or keeps him from facing the possible reality of him losing you. He leans forward to grasp your hands from distressing your shirt, to keep you from distressing yourself, with full knowledge that this moment could be the end of you allowing him to be graced with your presence. Hayato decided that your momentary comfort before unleashing hell on him was worth more than a thousand lifetimes of you by his side in the masquerade mask of lukewarm passion if you backed down from rejecting him now. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” And he touched you and nearly recoiled when your face whipped up to meet his, nearly let go of you because your skin was hot as forged iron and nearly as red. He tried to let go but you wouldn’t stand for it, as you used his hands over your shoulders as leverage to place your palms, clammy and shaking, over his smooth cheekbones and bring his face down to yours. Hayato’s eyes were wide as he met your lips, glossed and smooth and clearly prepped for this specific moment, specific kiss, specifically with him and he could have withered away in embarrassment of his rough mouth and nicotine lungs if it weren’t for how warm you were against him and how securely you held him, despite how insecure you had been seconds prior. Gokudera barely has the brains left to close his eyes on the skyline of Namimori but when he does he sees stars and he kisses you back and there’s a scrape of his teeth against your bottom lip and you shiver and he groans into you and now he’s just as red, if not redder, than you are. A slick noise of separation, then the both of you don’t know how to deal with the awkward intimacy of it, or what to do with your hands, but Hayato managed to gather enough sense– or maybe he’s running on what he’s fantasized on doing after your first kiss together and is on a daydream-guided autopilot– and he brings you into a tight hug and buried his head into your wild hair. You laugh into his chest and when he tried to bring you out to ask you why, you clung to his wrinkled white shirt even more and blindly found his hands, tangled with his bracelets and rings, then laced your fingers soundly with his. Gokudera can hardly believe the kiss happened, can believe he’s still alive even less, but he’s sure you can hear the quickened palpitations of his heart and that notion does no good for his health either. You’re an absolute dream and Gokudera is ready and happy to die right there, but you pull away from him, hands still interwoven, and smile so beautifully that he is sure that angels exist and you’re the vision of seraphim, disguised as human so barely that if you were anymore angelic he would surely fall dead where he stood, kiss-dizzy and sweetly dazed. From his dazed mouth, stupidity falls out. “So what was it that you had to tell me?” You laugh and press a kiss– more confidently this time– to his collarbone. At his affirmative, stuttered, elated hum, you press another and another, up his neck and jawline and chin until you reach his lips again and he kisses you back with adoration and love and his still evolving understanding of your feelings for him. “I’m not sure how to say it any clearer,” you said with a laugh that rang like the church bells that sounded in Gokudera’s head as clearly as he imaged they would on your wedding day, as he pressed his own kisses all over your face and held you close with the intention of treasuring you as long as he had a pulse and then some. “Hayato, I really, really like you.” And that was the day that Gokudera Hayato had come to face the reality, one that he had long accepted, that he loved you more than anything and you felt the same, but most importantly, that you were the right one for him. And that he was the right one for you.

#gokudera hayato #gokudera hayato/reader #gokudera hayato x reader #reborn #khr #katekyo hitman reborn #reborn fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #gokudera

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sassmill · 7 years

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answer ALL those questions BIH 1-97 or however many there are

Great panini Michelle... every damn time...1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?Uhhhhhhhh yeah2. You talked to an ex today, correct?Idk I guess technically?3. Have you taken someones virginity?Lmao nope4. Is trust a big issue for you?YEAH WHOO BOY YEAH I have a lot of issues and trust is a huge one5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?Yes yup I definitely did. She told me I looked pretty and it was the first time I've ever been sure she was flirting with me. 6. What are you excited for?Going back to school holy shit. I've had a countdown going. I move back in at the end of the month. I can't fuckening wait. 7. What happened tonight?I told myself I was going to shower and clean my room but instead I'm sat here watching dan and Phil games videos?8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?I don't think it's disgusting I just worry for their safety. I'm the mom friend that takes care of the lightweights. 9. Is confidence cute?Hell yeah10. What is the last beverage you had?Brisk iced tea with lemon 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?I wanna say like three. I don't have an exact count because I've managed to direct my daily life to have very few males and I can only think of three men I regularly interact with. 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?Yeah and my fuckin thighs are wearing a HOLE IN THEM which means I need to order a new pair but they're EXPENSIVE and I hate CAPITALISM 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?That's a good fucking question. I have nothing planned, nothing to do within walking distance, and no license. Probably masturbate in all honesty. 14. What are you going to spend money on next?Well I just spent like $150 on an old navy order today so probably not clothes Oh you know what I need a new bookbag so probably that. IKEA has some good ones. 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?The only person I've kissed was for a scene in acting class so no. I had a really elaborate dream the other night where I was kissing my crush but alas also no. 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?Oh for sure. 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?Honestly???? Reese. 18. The last time you felt broken?This is more or less a weekly to daily occurrence but the most intense instance I can recall was Saturday night at my cousin's wedding! Being most likely the only gay person out of a group of 300 people made up of mostly married couples with children was absolutely horrific because as soon as one cousin gets married the aunts start placing bets on who's next and each time I'm closer to the top of the list. Combine that with varied intrusive thoughts and you've got a lovely shitstorm of self loathing!!!19. Have you had sex today?Not ever m'dude20. Are you starting to realize anything?That if I want to be less anxious when shopping for clothing, I need to only shop at places that actually cater to my body type aka I've just accepted that I have a mom body and will always look better in well made and sort of pricey old navy clothes over cheap shitty forever 21 clothes. 21. Are you in a good mood?I'm kind of eh. All I've done today is watch the MSNBC news cycle for hours on end and that was really depressing and anxiety inducing but I've isolated myself in my room for a bit since then and had a nice salami sandwich so I've mellowed. 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?Hell yeah. Sharks are nowhere as violent as media portrays them and need to be protected like any other species. Also I went to the aquarium yesterday. 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?Yes between my parents I got pretty much all of my father's genetics and it's really funny. 24. What do you want right this second?Someone to cuddle with because I realized when I was staying at a hotel that I literally can't sleep unless I'm holding something and every single night my body pillow is a little bit more pathetic. 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?Fuckin jokes on you she's married 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?Technically no. I mean I am a natural blonde but currently I am several shades blonder because my natural shade is on the darker end of the blonde spectrum and I'm so pale that I need to lighten and warm it up from time to time so I don't look like a less stylish Addams child. 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?That's a hard fuckin pass m828. What was the last thing that made you laugh?I answered this before but I've laughed again since then soS A N D R A29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?Yes. 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?Yes, as long as they are actually willing to modify their behavior/habits/what have you. Life is a learning curve. I believe in third chances too, under the same conditions. At some point, however, you have to acknowledge that some people just will not change and it isn't worth the energy you're investing to try and force it. Then it's time to cut bitches off lmao. 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?My brother is walking a fine line right now. He's a shit head but I don't hate him. 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?I think so. 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?Cherry Pepsi flows through my veins. 34. Listening to?I've honestly been listening to the original London cast recording of The Witches of Eastwick the musical on repeat for like a week? That and the original cast recording of Sunset Boulevard. Which reminds me, I downloaded Dangerous Liaisons...35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?Yeah... do people like... stop writing in pencil at some point? Y'all hate erasers????36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?Probably somewhere in Pennsylvania where I left her. 37. Do you believe in love at first sight?Maybe chemistry at first sight? I think you have to know a person before you can love them. Chemistry doesn't have to be romantic either, I think it's just a significant reaction. I'm a fan of hate to lover arcs in fiction. Cough cough swan queen. 38. Who did you last call?Probably my brother to tell him to preheat the oven. 39. Who was the last person you danced with?My aunt when she was trying to convince me not to leave the wedding reception even though I was dead on my feet and dissociating so hard I felt like I wasn't in my body40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?Because that's how Phyllis Nagy wrote the script. 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?The wedding reception. It didn't have frosting because my brother brought me a fucking cupcake without frosting. 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?No43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?Countless times! I'm strong but clumsy so when she asks me to move things for her it's like a 50/50 chance I'll drop it. She never makes fun of me though. 44. Do you tan in the nude?I don't tan period because I am pasty and extremely at risk for skin cancer *finger guns*45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?If by take back you mean literally take it back by purchasing the full play to read it 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?I usually do47. Who was the last person to call you?Idk probably my dad to tell me to preheat the oven. 48. Do you sing in the shower?Am I even showering if I'm not singing49. Do you dance in the car?I'm generally pretty cramped in most cars so no50. Ever used a bow and arrow?Yes! I'm a pretty decent archer. 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?Probably my headshots that I got when I was doing my dance photo shoot senior year. 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?I'm a theatre major what fucking kind of question is this. In this house we respect triple threats. And have a healthy fear of the wrath of patti lupone 53. Is Christmas stressful?Half my family is EXTREMELY Roman Catholic and a quarter is Jewish so if it's not stressful it's definitely complicated 54. Ever eat a pierogi?Fuck yes holy shit we had a cooking unit at camp and they'd make staff lunch and they made pierogies from scratch like dough potatoes and all and I swear I nutted. 55. Favorite type of fruit pie?Lemon meringue. Oh fuck elies mom made such good pie last year. 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?Forensic examiner! I wanted to do autopsies! Like deadass I wanted to be Doctor Jan Garavaglia from the discovery channel. Also retrospectively definitely had a crush on her. That was when I was in like elementary school though. In middle school I wanted nothing more than to be an Imagineer and design attractions for Disney. 57. Do you believe in ghosts?I'm from New England. Next question. 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?Yeah holy shit I see stuff from my dreams a lot. 59. Take a vitamin daily?These strawberry flavored fuckers for hair skin and nails they're so good!60. Wear slippers?Not so much at home but at school I practically live in them because our dorm is always disgusting 61. Wear a bath robe?Yes I have a super fluffy long one62. What do you wear to bed?Ideally nothing but I have to wear clothes because my room gets too hot to sleep with the door shut so normally a t shirt and underwear and then I keep shorts or sweatpants by my bed so I can put them on quickly if I have to leave my room. Plus I have a roommate at school so no naked napping there either. 63. First concert?Probably one of the free concerts Eight to the Bar used to do in my mom's hometown64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?Target I'm a loyal Pinterest mom65. Nike or Adidas?Neither. Whatever is on clearance at Kohls. 66. Cheetos Or Fritos?Cheetos. I'm not a fucking heathen. 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?No. Cashews. 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?LOVE STORY (The og country version) IS THE REALEST BOP IVE EVER HEARD69. Ever take dance lessons?Hahaha only 16 years of them70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?Something creative. Strongly probably theatre related. 71. Can you curl your tongue?Yeah72. Ever won a spelling bee?No but I performed a song from The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?Short answer yes. Long answer: please see my post on Tired Thesbian about Indecent directed by Rebecca Taichman and written by Paula Vogel 74. What is your favorite book?To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf75. Do you study better with or without music?With, but it has to be instrumental. I really like film scores; Cracks, The Hours, and the Mildred Pierce miniseries are my favorites. Honorable mention for Carol. 76. Regularly burn incense?Not allowed to. 77. Ever been in love?Yes. 78. Who would you like to see in concert?Fleetwood Mac/Stevie, Celtic Woman, Dolly Parton, Florence + The Machine. That's the non showtune half of my music taste. Isn't it an unsettling combination. 79. What was the last concert you saw?I don't really go to music concerts but I went to the so you think you can dance tour a couple years ago. 80. Hot tea or cold tea?Porque no los dos 81. Tea or coffee?Porque no los dos 82. Favorite type of cookie?I'm a slut for shortbread but that's more of a biscuit soooooo Oreos. 83. Can you swim well?I've never drowned 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?People can't do that?85. Are you patient?I guess so86. DJ or band, at a wedding?Dj BRUH 87. Ever won a contest?I won a writing contest in eighth grade!88. Ever have plastic surgery?No but I'd love to get some for various reasons. And when it comes down to it, we really shouldn't judge others cosmetic choices be they hair color or plastic surgery. Insert Dolly Parton. 89. Which are better black or green olives?Olives are evil and I was once locked out of my dorm room over this argument90. Opinions on sex before marriage?Holy fuck heterosexual culture is wild isn't it91. Best room for a fireplace?Already answered 92. Do you want to get married?Maybe not married but certainly in a committed long term relationship. To quote Lily Tomlin, I'm not particularly keen on imitating heterosexuals. Holy fuvk that took like a full hour

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hard-to-beat · 5 years

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Entitled me or just a senior editor who forgot how to behave?

Ok so Yahoo turned down my second submission and spit at my third submission.

I wrote a 1200 word article and submitted it to Yahoo. This work is good it’s not like the shit articles I post here (but better than the Avantika D’s articles Yahoo publishes every week). Y! Journalist Mr. Kunal D asked me to reduce the word count to 700 words and resubmit which I did. I waited for a week and on Jan 9th he asked me to wait indefinitely because he was swamped, he specifically said this in his 2nd email reply to me on that date:

I will surely give it a once-over when time permits, but I cannot give you a timeline for the same.

Naturally I was confused and in a dilemma because on one hand I was glad that he didn’t put my submissions to the bin like the incompetent pricks at DailyO and The Print but on the other hand what does this leave me with? Am I supposed to wait forever to get a reply which might be negative and leave me with lost opportunity to submit it elsewhere?

I started submitting it elsewhere and everywhere LoL. Let Mr Kunal take his time to review my reduced, diluted and frankly speaking an inferior 800 word version of my write up while I submit my 1200 word article in its original glory elsewhere. I wasn’t too excited at the prospect because my previous experience told me that getting a media house to publish something is very tough if the person who wrote it is an average citizen who is not famous or anything really (classist bias story)

Submission got rejected or not even considered by almost each and every person I submitted it to. News Laundry, Firstpost, News18, Scroll, Huffpost, Washington Post (a person can dream), USAToday (why not, its just an email) all of them rejected it. NDTV, India Today, HT Media outright refused to allow me to submit. Gulf News and few other websites didn’t reply or respond. While this spate of rejections were going on without respite I came back to Yahoo. I sent a new submission to Mr Kunal and then a few days later reminder email of the past submission. He didn’t reply. He never replied to me after Jan 9th. I sent an email to rest of his team at Yahoo whose emails Mr Shishir Bhate the editor of Yahoo! India had sent me long back. Nobody replied. So I emailed Mr Shishir directly. He replied:

My senior colleague has informed you about the issues with your article. I am afraid we shall not be able to use this article of yours.

Mr. Shishir might be referring to the Kunal’s 1st Jan 9th email message to me which was:

You articles need heavy editing to be in adherence to our stylesheet.

Yes the first part of the message by Mr. Shishir isn’t entirely inaccurate but I asked Mr Kunal D what i should do to make it acceptable and he told me what I quoted in the starting portion of this write up. Mr Kunal D didn’t reject my write up. He asked me to wait indefinitely. I felt I needed a better explanation and I asked for that. Mr Shishir repeated his earlier message and asked me not to email him anymore. I repeated my query stressing on the fact that I was asked to wait all this time by Yahoo. If my article was being rejected for non adherence to their style-sheet (whatever the fuck that is) then why was I not informed of this decision back in Jan 9th? Despite not getting a response I made a new oped submission and to this he responded exactly like this:

Request you to stop spamming and harassing us. I will report you to the authorities.

That was very hurtful, this is like the ultimate level of shitty response. So next morning I called to his number and demanded an explanation (yes call me entitled for that) and he said that my submission was a “rubbish” and I asked him why he kept the me waiting for 1 month and 6 days if it was rubbish (not the exact quote). He didn’t reply to this point directly, he however promised Police complaint on his behalf by one of his team members in Kochi or Calicut (news flash: Yahoo has employees in Calicut!) the next time I called him or his team at Yahoo India (new called Verizon Media: Company name got changed recently).

My Analysis;

A friend of mine who is an editor at a prominent Internet Publication told me after reading the experience as I listed it out in my Twitter told me this:

You've got a very entitled attitude. Please understand that no one owes you anything. I feel like you don't respect other people's time. You are sending an unsolicited article to a publication, you have to respect editorial decision when they tell you it's not good enough, not go on a rant on twitter.

She also said: I'm sorry buddy, but you've overstepped a number of boundaries here and I'm afraid I can't engage with you anymore

She stands with Shishir on this I guess and no more a friend or even a contact I suppose :( .

Anyway her message to me was for my own good and I recognize that but is this here a case of me getting pissed off by their decision? No, I got pissed off by his behavior, specifically comments about my submission by the Y! editor. Its not cool. Now Shishir was the most responsive of all the editors I ever approached bck in Oct - November but here when I asked for an explanation for my wait period and reason for rejection he became unresponsive and then angry.

This guy has 32 Years of Experience in the Media/Journalism which is way more than my age. He don't need to be told by me how to behave. He has been an internet Publication editor since 1997. 32 years of Journalism experience gives him the license to diss my work? At the end of the day Mr. Shishir Bhate must understand the fact that he cant treat people badly no matter how good his publication is or how long his experience is. When a person is made to wait 1 month and 6 days by his team then he owes that person a valid response, also never diss the work of another person because nobody spent so much of their effort to write something and then wait 1 month for a senior editor to label it as rubbish (1st submission which is a major write up for me) and threaten FIR! (he threatened to make complaints against me when I submitted a separate smaller Oped). I never got a response for that Oped submission. Will I ever get a response?

So is it me being entitled or senior editor forgetting his basic etiquette and manners that led to this?

Probably a mix of both might be my neutral view (:P) but I sincerely believe that Mr. Shishir behaved badly.

Hard-To-Beat will update this write up with a comment by Shishir Bhate should he choose to give one. Disclosure: Hard-To-Beat is hosted in a platform owned by a sister concern of Verizon Media.

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scienceblogtumbler · 4 years

Text

Legal scholar’s new website offers a picture of the criminal justice system

Using a small subset of death-eligible murder cases, a new database launched by a Northwestern Pritzker School of Law professor offers a glimpse into the criminal justice system – more specifically the Circuit Court of Cook County pretrial detention system in the first six months of 2003 – and the bureaucracy surrounding them.

Leigh Bienen, a senior lecturer at Northwestern Law, recently launched “2003 Chicago Murders,” a compendium of numbers, system identifiers, dates and other information about 140 death-eligible murders in Cook County, all cases where an indictment for murder was returned during the period of Jan. 1, 2003, to June 30, 2003.

The cases are divided into three subgroups based on the length of the sentence imposed. All of the data on the website, which comes from public records, includes names of the defendants and victims, defendants’ zip code and age at offense, method of killing and many more details. The data can be downloaded and analyzed by the user.

The new database is a companion website to Bienen’s “Illinois Murder Indictments 2000-2010.” She said she hopes the database will provide a reliable, accurate and original set of data about an important part of the criminal justice system for anyone interested in murders, murder rates, cities, capital punishment, jails and mass incarcerations.

Bienen said the purpose of the site is to spur additional research by making the raw data available.

What surprised Bienen most during the research process was that even those who had all charges against them dropped, or were acquitted, still spent about two years to have their cases disposed of.

For example, she writes, “Persons awaiting trial in Cook County Jail had dozens, as many as 60 or 70, routine in-court appearances before a trial court judge, with attorneys for both prosecution and defense present, between their first appearance in court and the final disposition of their case in court by a trial court judge,” adding that there are state and federal constitutional guarantees of the right to a speedy trial.

“There was no reason for most of these defendants to be locked up as long as they were, or to have so many routine call backs, or court appearances, every one of which required a dozen salaried employees to be in the court room,” Bienen said. “And that doesn’t count the numbers of employees outside the courtroom in the courthouse, or the many people employed in the county jail itself, not to mention in the prison system after a defendant is convicted.”

Bienen said the database is “a snapshot of a bureaucracy.”

“It is a bureaucracy which rolls ahead with its own momentum, and the momentum does not have as its primary goal providing a speedy trial, or a just result for those accused, or for providing a quick and just result for victims of murder and their families.

“This bureaucracy, like all bureaucracies, remains in place because it is in the interest of those who are members of it to keep it going. If you want to understand how we ended up with more than a million people in jails and prisons nationwide, this snapshot will give you a picture of the criminal justice system and its operation.”

This research grew out of Bienen’s earlier work on homicide in Chicago and capital punishment, some of which focused on patterns of prosecutorial discretion in the selection of murders for capital prosecution in the 102 autonomous Illinois counties prior to the abolition of the death penalty in Illinois in 2011. There were no death sentences imposed and there were no capital trials in any of the 2003 cases included in the database, although all cases were identified as death eligible murders by the State’s Attorney in Cook County.

source https://scienceblog.com/516673/legal-scholars-new-website-offers-a-picture-of-the-criminal-justice-system/

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virginiaprelawland · 4 years

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Weinstein Trial: Inside Deliberations That Lead To Harvey Weinstein’s Conviction

Andrew Emroch, University of Virginia Class of 2018

March 11, 2020

Manhattan: Harvey Weinstein was convicted of rape and criminal sexual acts. Weinstein was convicted of third-degree rape and a first-degree criminal sexual act on February 24, 2020. However, he was found not guilty on three other counts, which include two serious charges of sexual assault. A first-degree criminal sexual act is punishable by a minimum of 5 and a maximum of 29 years in prison. [1]

Harvey Weinstein’s downfall due to sexual misconduct made international headlines as he is a renowned film producer. Weinstein’s trial, which was accorded much publicity, saw 6 women testify claiming that he sexually assaulted them [2]. As 12 jurors sat around a wooden table in a small room in the court building, a panelist was writing the charges against Weinstein on a small whiteboard using a marker pen. One juror recalled that the 12 jurors were never unanimous at the beginning. Every juror was given a few minutes to unpack the events leading to the conviction.

The series of events at the Manhattan Criminal Courts Building marked the downfall of a great film director. The Hollywood mogul’s conviction brought to an end a long period of whispered accusations since 2017. Several women accused him of sexual assault and harassment and this led to a global movement, the #MeToo movement. The accusations brought to light the casting couch practice in Hollywood and women’s long sufferings as they were abused in their workplaces.

Three Jurors’ Revelations

Three jurors were interviewed to shed more light on how the panel convicted the 67-year-old Oscar-winning film producer of the sexual offenses. They also explained how the man was acquitted of two other serious counts of sexual assault. One juror was quoted saying how it was stressful and some of the jurors got sick as the debate in the room was mostly civil. He went on to say how they were confronted with a difficult situation of analyzing their morality under the law in a room with other 11 strangers.

The jurors requested anonymity during the interview. They declined to give an account of the positions taken by each juror or the particular disagreements that ensued in the room. However, they discussed how the panel arrived at the final decision. The panel heard that two main accusers – Jessica Mann, 34, and Miriam Haley, 42, maintained intimate relationships with him after the alleged attack and they later had sex with Mr Weinstein. However, these facts were given little weight by the panel.

The jury, composed of five women and seven men, narrowly focused on whether Mr. Weinstein violated the law at the time of the alleged attacks. Statements from three other accusers who were called to shed light on Mr. Weinstein’s behavior pattern were given little weight too. Another juror explained how two witnesses’ statements were similar in two ways. The witnesses said the same thing. Their statement indicated that sex acts happened the same way. These similarities lent credibility to the two witnesses.

Mr. Felsher, a former colleague and writer described Mr. Weinstein as a “sex addict.” He added that Mr. Weinstein had a high appetite for women. He termed it as “mildly voracious appetite.” The juror added that “this did not help his case at all.” The jurors admitted that they considered the importance of the trial as related to the #MeToo movement but they focused on the evidence presented in court. The deliberations lasted for 26 hours, thus exhausting them emotionally and physically.

The jury table was filled with snacks – donuts, chocolates, and coffee – after three days. The jurors were held up during deliberations and were unable to take a lunch break. They resorted to ordering from a deli. They only had short breaks to smoke, get some fresh air or just to venture outside. Their timelines were drawn on an oversized pad that was fixed on a second whiteboard. The partial verdict was scribbled on the pad and later discarded it for fear that it might leak.

The jurors agreed on a system on the first day. They took the time to understand the legal definitions of all the charges. They sought the judge’s explanation of the law and legal definitions of some terms such as forcible compulsion and consent. The panel sought answers for two questions: Did the assault occur? Did it meet the legal definition of a crime? They listened to all the 28 witnesses presented by the prosecution team. They examined the ongoing relationship and viewed Mr. Weinstein’s naked photo that was presented to them. One juror was quoted saying “it was one instant we were analyzing, not a relationship.”

Miriam Haley was found credible

Ms. Hailey's testimony convinced the panel that indeed Mr. Weinstein sexually assaulted her. Ms. Hailey was an assistant producer on Mr. Weinstein’s “Project Runway” show. One juror said that Ms. Hailey convinced them because she remembered specific details like wall drawings in Mr. Weinstein’s Manhattan Loft room. She recounted how he held her down and forced her to perform oral sex as she protested. The alleged assault happened in 2006. The jury requested to see the room’s floor plan and later invited her to testify again. They confirmed that her testimony was credible as it corroborated the evidence.

Jury doubted Annabella Sciorra's Testimony

Annabella Sciorra had alleged that Mr Weinstein raped her when he stormed into her apartment in the 1990s[3]. The charge was indicated as a predatory sexual assault charge by the prosecution. The juror sought to understand whether Mr. Weinstein only raped Ms. Sciora or he also assaulted her. Some jurors cast doubts on the account as it did not match the pattern and context of the other assaults.

The other accusers were young women who were lured by Mr. Weinstein to meetings in his apartment or hotel room with the prospect of being given jobs. However, Ms. Sciora was a seasoned actress who had accompanied Mr. Weinstein to a dinner party. However, in her testimony, she indicated that she was given a lift by Mr. Weinstein who later barged her in when she was waiting outside his apartment. One juror said, “That’s not his M.O.” It was not easy to eliminate the doubt because her testimony had a lot of confusing information. The panel could not help but dismiss the charges

Complications in Jessica Mann’s Case

Finally, the panel focused on Jessica Mann’s testimony. Her account indicated that they had a long-time relationship with Mr. Weinstein which involved masturbation consensual oral sex[4]. Ms. Mann referred to him as a “pseudo father” and a “soul mate.” However, she indicated that Mr. Weinstein raped her in 2013 at a hotel in Manhattan. She had invited Mr. Weinstein for a meeting after which he rented a room.

The jury spent about two days examining her testimony. Some jurors were concerned about her long-time relationship with Mr. Weinstein. She had indicated that she had oral sex with him in 2016. She also admitted that they were exchanging flirtatious and friendly messages with him. She also alleged that he raped her a second time; six months after the first incident.

One juror explained to them that having a relationship does not preclude an individual right’s to withhold consent[5]. The panel was convinced that she did not consent to the sexual acts in the incidents. However, since no force was used, the panel decided that it was third-degree rape. Anxiety was high in the last few days of deliberations. The jurors knew they were about to finalize their verdict. They requested all the people in the room to leave as they made their final decision.

One juror liaised with the foreman to review the final decisions to ensure that the split verdict will be announced properly. The bell was rung to announce they were all ready to deliver the verdict

________________________________________________________________

1. Adams-Clark, A. A., & Chrisler, J. C. (2018). What constitutes rape? The effect of marital status and type of sexual act on perceptions of rape scenarios. Violence against women, 24(16), 1867-1886.

2. Sand, Nardine (2017). "The full list of Harvey Weinstein accusers includes fledgling actresses and Hollywood royalty". Los Angeles Times. Archived from the original on October 21, 2017. Retrieved March 4, 2020

3. Associated Press (2017). "Annabella Sciorra alleges she was raped by Harvey Weinstein". The Guardian. Archived from the original on October 28, 2017. Retrieved March 4, 2020

4. Ransom, Jan (2020). "Jessica Mann, Weinstein Accuser, Breaks Down in Tears at Trial". Retrieved March 4, 2020 – via NYTimes.com.

5. Jozkowski, K. N., & Peterson, Z. D. (2014). Assessing the validity and reliability of the perceptions of the consent to sex scale. The Journal of Sex Research, 51(6), 632-645.

Photo Credit: David Shankbone

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yasminaszvoelkerqj73insuran-blog · 5 years

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affordable major medical insurance plans

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douchebagbrainwaves · 6 years

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SNAPSHOT: VIAWEB, STUPID

And so there is a role for mathematical elegance: some kinds of elegance make programs easier to understand. Keep rewriting your program. There's an advantage as well as wearing a gorilla suit in someone's booth at a trade show. The third false positive was a bad one, though. You can pick any group of users. It was alarming to me how foreign it felt to sit in, then you've done a bad job, period. I've never liked this question. Because hackers are makers rather than scientists, the right place, and then gradually refine this initial sketch.1 So if you need to take care of, you're forced to see everything. Basically, I had to start treating it differently.2 But they're doing it because byte code is a convenient place to insert themselves into the process, not because byte code is in itself a good idea to save some easy tasks for moments when you would otherwise stall. Instead of just tweaking a spam till it gets through a copy of some filter they have on their desktop, they'll have to choose one or the other, we ought to give priority to the ones that matter anyway.

And to engage an audience you have to take these cycles into account, because they're affected by how you react to them.3 FREE Free free If you do this right, you only have to keep the topmost layer in your head that you really understand the problem.4 There are two main kinds of badness in comments: meanness and stupidity. But I don't write to persuade a hypothetical perfectly unbiased reader. What will happen when they do? So when investors stop trying to squeeze a little more out of their existing deals, they'll find they're net ahead, because so many more new deals appear. Chesterfield described dirt as matter out of place. In another conversation he told me that what he really liked was solving problems. In math you don't choose abstractions because they're easy for humans to understand; you choose whichever make the proof shorter. But first, I thought, I'll see how far I can get with single words.

It would be like programming in a language with infix syntax, there's a clear watershed at about age 12, when he got interested in maths.5 That's what Stripe did. Is there some way Microsoft could come back?6 To a lot of money—so does IBM, for that matter. In fact, worse than arrogant: since readers are used to essays that try to please someone, an essay that displeases one side in a dispute reads as an attempt to pander to the other. But you yourself are the most extreme case, but a lot of maximally interesting tokens, the result can end up counting the same word multiple times, according to your old definition of same.7 The kind of filters I'm optimistic about are ones that calculate probabilities based on each individual user's mail. For me, as for many users, it's a kind of premature optimization.

I was a kid I was firmly in the camp of bad. This kind of work they want to.8 I say that design must be for users, I don't mean to imply that good design requires that one person think of everything. Email is not just that people can't find you. Actually I was being conservative. That's what Stripe did.9 Whereas if a startup regularly does new deals and releases and either sends us mail or shows up at YC events, they're probably going to live. Instead he'll spend most of his time talking about the noble effort made by the people who call in with questions on talk shows.10 No matter how thoroughly you've read it, you've only read it, not written it.11 You can use text classification techniques, but solutions can and should reflect the fact that each series A has enormously elaborate, custom paperwork.12

They shouldn't be. The conversation will turn immediately to other topics. Hacker News had the good fortune to start out good, so in this case it's literally a matter of preservation.13 For example, I know that when it comes to code I behave in a way that is extremely rare in technology.14 Foo. Which means if letting the founders keep control stops being perceived as a concession, it will be more interesting than one without. Right now, for me at least that if we find more than 15 tokens that only occur in one corpus or the other, we ought to give priority to the ones that matter anyway. Most hackers don't learn to hack mostly by hacking. Writers and painters don't suffer from math envy.

Notes

I didn't care about. All he's committed to is following the evidence wherever it leads. At first I didn't. Even in English, our sense of the edge case where something spreads rapidly but the number of situations.

Decimus Eros Merula, paid 50,000, the more corrupt the rulers. Options have largely been replaced with restricted stock, which shoppers used to say that a person's work is not so good. Instead of no counterexamples, though. 03%.

It's ok to talk about startups. I used a recent Business Week, 31 Jan 2005. The founders who go on to the browser, the idea is bad.

1% a week for 19 years, dribbling out a preliminary answer on the aspect they see and say that's not art because it made a better education.

A variant is that any given person might have done well if they'd been living in a in the absence of objective tests. There is of course. Letter to Oldenburg, quoted in Westfall, Richard and David Whitehouse, Mohammed, Charlemagne and the Origins of Europe, Cornell University Press, 1965.

But you couldn't possibly stream it from a company's revenues as the love people have historically been so many still make you feel that you're paying yourselves high salaries.

The reason the dictionaries are wrong is that you're not trying to make programs easy to write and deals longer to close than you meant to. The first big company, and eventually markets learn how to value valuable things.

But scholars seem to have suffered from having been corporate software for so long to launch a new business designed for scale. 5 seconds per day.

It does at least one of them. Because we want to get going, and both used their position to amass fortunes among the largest in the mid twentieth century.

We just store the data, it's easy to believe this number could be mistaken, and the manager of the iPhone SDK. Google seemed a plausible excuse. I'm not claiming variation in prices. Above.

Make it clear when you lose that protection, e.

And that will seem to want to help their students start startups who otherwise wouldn't have understood why: If they agreed among themselves never to do tedious work.

Which feels a bit misleading to treat macros as a phone that is a service for advising people whether or not, and no doubt partly because you spent all your time working on is a bit. I was writing this, I should probably start from scratch. At first I didn't care about. So if all bugs are found quickly.

Those groups never have come to you. Yahoo. 32.

Thanks to Harj Taggar, Robert Morris, Chris Anderson, Tiffani Ashley Bell, Bill Clerico, Patrick Collison, Sam Altman, and Trevor Blackwell for smelling so good.

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todaynewsstories · 6 years

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Special Report: Slamming the door – How Trump transformed U.S. refugee program

WASHINGTON/KAKUMA, KENYA (Reuters) – On Jan. 19, 2017, Aden Hassan’s long wait to start a new life ended when he stepped off a plane in Columbus, Ohio, half a world away from the Kenyan refugee camp where he had lived for a decade.

Years earlier in Mogadishu, Somalia, Hassan’s father, a community organizer, was shot dead by the Islamist militants he opposed. A few years later, a younger brother and sister were killed by gunmen while walking home from school. After Hassan’s mother survived an assassination attempt, she fled with her surviving children to neighboring Kenya.

The Midwestern winter chill could not dampen Hassan’s hope, as he left the airport with his wife, their two young children and his brother, that Ohio would provide a security and stability the family had not known in years. All that remained was for his mother, her second husband, and Hassan’s brother and sister to join them, which refugee officials assured him would happen soon.

“When we landed at the airport, we felt we could start a new life,” said Hassan, now 27. “We were very hopeful, very grateful.”

The next day, Donald J. Trump was sworn in as U.S. president. Nineteen months later, Hassan’s mother, Fatuma Diriye, a diabetic with heart problems, and his other relatives remain in Kenya’s Kakuma refugee camp. Although they were approved for resettlement in the United States at the same time Hassan was, their plans have been repeatedly delayed by the Trump administration’s dismantling of longstanding U.S. refugee policy. The State Department declined to comment on Diriye’s case.

A week after his inauguration, Trump issued an executive order temporarily banning travel from several Muslim-majority countries and halting all refugee admissions. Since then, through procedural changes made largely out of public view, the administration has reshaped the U.S. refugee program, slashing overall admissions and all but halting entry for some of the world’s most persecuted people, including Syrians, Iraqis, Iranians and Somalis.

This year, with a record high 68.5 million forcibly displaced people worldwide, the United States is on track to take in about 22,000 refugees, a quarter the number admitted in 2016, the last year of Barack Obama’s presidency, and the fewest in four decades.

In interviews with Reuters, more than 20 current and former U.S. officials described how the Trump administration has abandoned policies established over decades and embraced by Republican and Democratic administrations alike. The officials, most of whom spoke on condition of anonymity, say the administration has rejected internal findings that refugees could be admitted safely and with little expense. Two senior staff members who questioned the administration’s policies were removed from their positions.

The administration has instituted opaque and complicated new security vetting procedures that have bogged down admissions and eliminated many candidates for resettlement who would previously have been accepted, many of the officials said. It has extended the strictest kind of vetting to women as well as men from 11 countries, mostly in the Middle East and Africa. And it has reduced by nearly two-thirds the number of officials conducting refugee interviews, reassigning about 100 of 155 interviewers to handle asylum screenings for people already in the country, including those who crossed the border illegally.

“They’re just stuck,” said Angie Plummer, executive director of Community Refugee and Immigration Services in Ohio, the group that welcomed Hassan and his family last year. “It’s blocking people who absolutely would have been here two years ago.”

The Trump administration says the changes were necessary.

“Security improvements in the refugee program made in recent years to mandate additional screening for refugee applicants undoubtedly makes Americans safer,” said Katie Waldman, a spokeswoman for the Department of Homeland Security.

In addition to far lower admissions overall, the type of refugee admitted has changed under Trump, a Reuters analysis of government data shows. The percentage who are Muslim is now a third what it was two years ago; the percentage who are Europeans has tripled.

The shift has led to striking imbalances. Refugees admitted to the United States from the small European country of Moldova, for example, now outnumber those from Syria by three to one, although the number of Syrian refugees worldwide outnumbers the total population of Moldova.

Somalis like Hassan and his family now have little chance of getting in. As of Sept. 10, 251 Somali refugees have been resettled in America this year, a 97 percent drop from the 8,300 admitted by this point in 2016.

A PREDICTABLE PATH

When Hassan and his family started the refugee process, the path was grueling and lengthy, but largely straightforward.

Granted refugee status by the United Nations in 2008, Hassan and his family were assigned to the United States for resettlement in 2016. Family members were then interviewed by U.S. refugee officers to establish whether they faced a serious threat if they returned to Somalia.

They then had to undergo rigorous security checks put into place after the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks. Because of his age, gender and country of origin, Hassan was subjected to extra vetting.

After Hassan’s family all passed the checks, they were told they would be sent to Ohio in two groups, one traveling first and the second soon after. Trump’s January travel ban disrupted that plan.

In addition to suspending travel from some majority-Muslim countries and all refugee admissions, the order capped the maximum number of refugees in 2017 at 50,000, less than half the number Obama had set a few months earlier.

Courts eventually barred implementation of the order. The administration replaced it with a less comprehensive version in March of 2017, followed by additional temporary restrictions on some nationalities. Today, no country’s refugees are under an official ban, but several nationalities are nevertheless almost entirely blocked.

Syrian refugees, for example, were singled out in the first executive order as “detrimental” to the nation’s interests. In the 10 months since the ban lapsed, only 27 Syrian refugees have been resettled in the United States. By contrast, the United Nations counted 6.3 million Syrian refugees as of 2017, by far the single largest nationality of refugees.

Current and former U.S. officials say the new policies have been driven by a small core of top administration officials, including White House senior advisor Stephen Miller; Gene Hamilton, a former advisor at the Department of Homeland Security; and John Kelly, former secretary of Homeland Security and now White House chief of staff.

Hamilton, now at the Department of Justice, declined to comment through a spokesman. The White House did not respond to requests for comment.

Provided with a detailed description of Reuters’ reporting, White House spokesman Hogan Gidley said that “the administration is committed to a fair and responsible refugee policy that maximizes the reach and effectiveness of our global humanitarian assistance.” He added that “America is now safer.”

The remaking of the refugee program began with a full examination of screening procedures, something called for in the travel ban. Conducted in the summer and fall of 2017, the review concluded that refugees from all countries could safely be allowed to enter with some tightening of vetting, according to seven current or former U.S. officials who helped formulate or were briefed on the findings.

White House staff, including Miller and Kelly, were not happy with that conclusion, said one current and two former officials. In particular, the White House wanted to continue barring refugees from Somalia, Hassan’s home country, for reasons that were unclear, the two former officials and a second current official said. That posed a problem: The working group had found no evidence that Somali refugees presented a unique threat.

Homeland Security officials proposed that when admissions were resumed, the government would conduct a further 90-day review of refugees from 11 countries, including Somalia. During that time, refugees from the countries would remain effectively blocked.

Some members of the working group felt the additional review – which directly affected thousands of refugees – was unnecessary, designed solely to satisfy White House officials.

Waldman, the Homeland Security spokeswoman, disputed that assessment. “The further 90-day review was proposed for absolutely no other reason than to ensure a risk-based approach to the security enhancements,” she said.

The 11 countries – Egypt, Iran, Iraq, Libya, Mali, North Korea, Somalia, South Sudan, Sudan, Syria and Yemen – had been identified as potential threats as far back as the early 2000s, and their refugees had long been subject to more rigorous screening. But previous administrations still admitted refugees from those countries. Between 2002 and 2016, they accounted for 36 percent of U.S. refugees.

Since the end of the 90-day review, when admissions of refugees from the 11 nations were supposed to continue with additional screening, refugees from the countries have made up fewer than two percent of admissions.

Through Sept. 10, 564 refugees from the countries have been admitted since the start of the fiscal year in October, a 98 percent decrease over the same period in 2016, when nearly 34,000 refugees from the 11 countries came to America.

Fatuma Diriye, who cannot read or write, does not follow the details of U.S. policymaking. Her son, who does, realized the new procedures posed huge obstacles for his mother.

“I lost a lot of hope that I had before,” he said.

BACKLOG

Diriye had cleared all the security screening required in 2016, but now she must undergo an additional advanced check known as a Security Advisory Opinion. That type of vetting previously was required just for men from the 11 targeted countries.

The online portal that tracks Diriye’s case now says her security status is “in process,” but she doesn’t know what that means. When the refugee group assisting the family inquired about Diriye’s status last month, they were told only that her case is “on hold pending further review.”

Somali refugee Fatuma Yussuf Diriye poses for a photo during an interview with Reuters in the Kakuma refugee camp in northern Kenya, August 13, 2018. REUTERS/Baz Ratner

One primary source of the long delays, five current or former officials told Reuters, is the Federal Bureau of Investigation, which shares responsibility with other intelligence agencies for Security Advisory Opinions, the extra background checks now required of most refugees from the 11 countries.

In May, the State Department limited requests for the advanced checks to 500 per month globally, according to a State Department memo reviewed by Reuters. The memo cited an increasing “backlog” as the reason for the limit, without mentioning the FBI.

The cap has effectively kept a large portion of refugees from the 11 countries from progressing beyond the first stages of the refugee process.

Asked about its role in the vetting process, an FBI spokeswoman said the agency’s “primary focus is to protect the United States from national security and criminal threats.”

A State Department spokesman said improvements in the refugee vetting process have “had a direct impact on how quickly security checks can be conducted.”

Slideshow (18 Images)

‘A HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE MISSTEP’

Some Pentagon officials have expressed alarm to the White House and other agencies about how the new screening measures are affecting one category of refugees: Iraqis who helped the United States in battle.

These Pentagon officials say such admissions provide a lifeline to people who risked their lives assisting the United States. As of Sept. 7, just 48 Iraqi refugees with U.S. affiliations had been admitted this fiscal year, according to State Department data. More than 3,000 were admitted last year and about 5,100 in 2016.

During a White House meeting last month, FBI officials revealed that their screening had turned up suspicious information on 87 of 88 U.S.-affiliated Iraqis who recently underwent background checks, a far higher hit rate than in the past, according to two officials with knowledge of the meeting. But it is unclear even to people inside the government how the FBI’s processes have changed, they said. The FBI spokeswoman declined to give information on vetting processes, saying only that the agency “takes the necessary time to thoroughly review all the information available.”

One Iraqi interpreter, who worked for the U.S. Army for years and was approved for refugee status, described the obstacles he has faced since Trump took office. His account, provided on condition of anonymity, was confirmed by records from a court case against the administration in which he is a plaintiff and by two U.S. veterans who worked with him.

An Iraqi refugee and former interpreter for the U.S. Army in Iraq holds his military hat in a garden on the outskirts of Cairo, Egypt August 8, 2018. REUTERS/Staff

After being targeted by militants opposed to the U.S. in Iraq, the man fled to Egypt in 2014 and applied for refugee status. In late 2016, he was accepted.

Trump’s travel ban delayed his plans. He persisted, however, filing additional paperwork and undergoing new medical exams, and last September was again cleared for travel. Then came the 90-day review of Iraqis and others from the 11 countries. When that lifted, the interpreter said, he was asked to provide information for additional vetting, including 10 years’ worth of travel history, residential addresses, email addresses, phone numbers and information about his wife, children and brother – a daunting challenge, he said, given the turmoil in Iraq.

“I can’t tell you how exhausting it was,” he told Reuters. “In Iraq, for a period of time, it was hard to keep a phone number.”

Months after submitting the information, he is still in limbo and fears being deported by Egypt.

Not admitting the interpreter is “just a horrible, horrible misstep for national security,” said Chris Brusznicki, a U.S. Army veteran who worked with him in Iraq. People like him, Brusznicki said, “keep Americans from coming home in coffins.”

SIDELINED

Each September, the president must determine the maximum number of refugees the United States will admit during the next fiscal year. Last year, Trump set the cap at 45,000, the lowest since the modern refugee program was established in 1980. State Department data suggests it is unlikely actual admissions will reach half that number, if they continue at the current rate.

With October a few weeks away, the administration now must decide next year’s ceiling. In early meetings, the Pentagon and State Department have supported maintaining a cap of 45,000, one current and one former official said. Refugee advocates fear it will be set lower.

In part, that is because two advocates for the refugee program will not participate in the discussions this year: Jennifer Arangio, until July a senior staffer at the National Security Council, and Lawrence Bartlett, a career State Department official who has served in Republican and Democratic administrations.

Arangio worked on Trump’s election campaign, but on refugees she found herself in opposition to Miller, Hamilton and their allies, three people who worked with her said, because she supported a higher cap than they wanted.

She was turned down for positions she hoped to get at the State Department, including in the bureau that handles refugees, said two people familiar with her departure. In July, she was fired from her NSC job. Arangio declined to comment.

Bartlett was removed as director of U.S. refugee admissions late last year. He is now posted to Turkey, according to his LinkedIn profile.

Both Bartlett and the State Department declined to comment on his removal. Sarah Breen, a spokeswoman for the agency’s Inspector General, said her office is “conducting a review of allegations of political retaliation against Department of State employees.”

Hassan and his family are learning to navigate their new life. They live in a modest apartment furnished with donations. He has gotten a driver’s license and a job on the overnight shift at an Amazon warehouse, and his English is improving. Last month, Hassan’s wife gave birth to their third child, a girl. They take the older children to a nearby park to ride bicycles.

But he worries about his family in Kenya. Diriye, her husband and Hassan’s 10-year-old brother and 14-year-old sister remain in a two-room shelter at the Kakuma camp, home to nearly 150,000 refugees. Their home has no running water or electricity. They survive on U.N.-supplied rations and whatever money Hassan can send each month.

Diriye does not know when or if she will meet her new granddaughter. Recently, the online portal tracking her case had additional information: Her required medical exam was no longer current and needed to be repeated, but she must wait to be contacted about a new appointment.

“Please be patient,” it says.

Interactive: How the U.S. refugee program has changed under Trump

Reporting by Yeganeh Torbati in Washington and Omar Mohammed in Kakuma, Kenya; additional reporting by Abdi Sheikh in Mogadishu; Editing by Sue Horton

Our Standards:The Thomson Reuters Trust Principles.

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blogdangerousobjectcollecto-blog · 6 years

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