#[we're still the kids we used to be]

[hellenhighwater]

Wait is that actually your ex-boyfriend's hand? What happened to him?

He works with real live dinosaurs so....

Nah, he and are are super good friends--we were before we dated, and remained so after, because the breakup was extremely amicable, and he's one of those people who's a terribly good gift-giver. Most years we still exchange gifts sometime between our respective birthdays and christmas, and he sent me that hand (it's a replica) as a gift one year. I made him the archaeopteryx fossil bowl this year.

Just because this is the OG bone-stealing witch website, I will clearly state that the only real human bones I possess are my own. My animal bones are all either scavenged myself or gifted to me by the people that scavenged them. (I have a sort of energy that consistently makes people go "I saw this dead thing and thought of you!")

I don't have a problem with owning human remains that are ethically sourced, but the reality is that unless you can very precisely trace the origin of human remains to the specific person who clearly and unequivocally stated in life that they're cool with someone keeping and displaying their now-unused crunchy bits, it's...probably not ethical. So if someone has some of their own bones that they're done using that they want to send my way: cool, let's talk, ideally before it's necessary to have the conversation by seance. Otherwise, I will continue to be perfectly happy with my replica remains.

I'd like to will my crunchy bits to someone who will make dramatic monologues to my noggin, but hopefully that's not an issue I'll need to deal with for a while yet.

#is the gift giving secretly a competition? maybe but in a fun way! both of my college ex boyfriends and I are still close #in fact we're all going on a big college buddies camping trip this summer #my third college ex boyfriend no longer exists #because she came out as trans #good for her! #we are also still on friendly terms but we don't keep in touch as much #anyways truly genuinely i dont care what's done with my body after i die but I DO want my estate used #to put up a really dramatic ominous angel in a cemetery somewhere #so that future melodramatic counterculture kids have a place to take terrible futuremyspace selfies #it is the gift i wish to give to future generations #nobodys making morbid statuary for the graveyards anymore

[hood-ex]

I have seen you talking about Dick & Dami's relationship and Dick & Tim as well,but what are your takes on Dick and Jason actually?

Like how you wish their relationship should be portrayed today and where are them missing when it comes to making those two acting like siblings?

Do you think in the past their dynamic was better?

How Dick views Jason and how Jason views Dick?

This is difficult to answer because there are like 8 different stages to Dick and Jason's relationship with various dynamics. They also view each other a bit differently depending on which stage we're talking about.

The way I would like their relationship to be portrayed today isn’t necessarily possible thanks to Jason’s integration into the family and acceptance of the no killing moral code. For me, their ideal dynamic is portrayed in Outsiders #44-46. And I know people are gonna find that regressive as hell but, tbh, that dynamic is far more interesting than the kinda awkward thing they have going on now.

Although, I don't mind that they acknowledge their brotherhood in a serious manner now. Like before they'd kinda be like, "Eh... I mean... we were adopted from the same guy but... brothers? Eh..." And now they're more firmly in the, "We're brothers," camp. So that development is interesting.

Character progression wise, it wouldn't feel right for for them to be super close in the way that, say, Dick and Tim are (unless we saw a lot of trust and relationship building between them), but at the same time, there is part of me that kind of wants them to have that older sibling bond (except Jason is closer in age to Tim than he is to Dick sooo actually let's just leave older sibling things to Dick and Cass... not that Cass is much older than Jason though so LOL this is why Dick has to lone the oldest sibling thing by himself... which is funny because Dick is technically no longer the oldest sibling, he's a baby brother now... except Dick and Melinda's relationship really hasn't progressed much sooo you could say they share blood but don't consider each other family yet, in which case, Dick is still the oldest... I mean, regardless, Dick is the oldest sibling of the Waynes... god why did they have to make all of this so difficult 😫).

#jason's like blerghhh dad always loved you best. but also hey we should work together bc you're a killer like me #and then jason's also like hey dick you were the most amazing thing i've ever seen and idk you're cool but i won't say that to you #and then he's also like hey dick i've got girl advice for you and i also need your opinion on my hair. oh now bane is trying to kill us #and then he's also like oh you got amnesia? i don't give a fuck about you and maybe i'll kill you #and he's also like oh you trust me? okay well... we're brothers and i'm gonna save you #and then dick's like oh hey kid call me if you need me. oh you died? i am literally devastated i'm so sorry #and he's also like wow you're very good at what you do but i don't trust you... okay but i trust the intel you're giving me sooo.... #and then he's like why the fuck are you dressing like me and killing people?? quit doing stupid shit!! #and then he's like jason what the fuck are you doing--let me help you!! #and then he's like kinda indifferent to jason but jason is still Ugh this family is stupid why am i here #and then dick's like ofc i'm gonna come help you if you need me but also this is awkward af and things are weird between us so bye #except not bye because i'm staying here to help you and your team #and then dick's like i'm being controlled by joker so i'm gonna kill yoooou #and then he's like eh i trust you and i'm gonna help you bc we're brothers but you literally wrecked bruce's car you numbskull #and then he's like you're doing dumb shit and i have to take you down but oh thanks for not letting the train kill me #and then they're both like meh we're doing shit w the batfam even though neither of us should be here rn #and yeah that's how it goes. that's. literally it. writers cannot keep their relationship consistent in the long term #Dick Grayson #Jason Todd #relationship analysis #anon

[cat-soda]

is any piece of media really complete without a pair of twins that are actively being tormented by the narrative?

#paradox live #link click #tsubasa reservoir chronicles #tokyo babylon #evillious chronicles #CLAMP #disregarding that two of the projects pictured above are by CLAMP #summary by me #cozmez: KANATA WAS SO FAR IN DENIAL ABOUT NAYUTA'S DEATH THAT HIS ILLUSION INCL HIS DEAD FUCKING BROTHER. #GRANTED. NAYUTA'S A LITTLE LESS DEAD THAN WE WERE EXPECTING BUT THAT'S STILL FUCKING SAD. #li tianchen & li tianxi: these kids make me so sad. xixi i'm so sorry babygirl. #fai & yuui: LITERALLY NOT CURSED TWINS AND YET????? #hokuto & subaru: THE GUY HE LIKED BROKE HIS HEART THEN BROKE HIS ARM AND THEN ALSO KILLED HIS SISTER. WHAT THE FUCK. #rillian & allen: okay it's literally not her fault that she got possessed by pride SHE WAS LIKE. SIX. #also don't lie to me i know we all cried at the end of regret message okay. if we're reborn let's play together again headass. #i almost used a prsk screenshot for r&a... glad i didn't have to resort to such desperate measures...... #pl

[lunarharp]

qifrey's birthday and silly stuff

#witch hat tag #orufrey #excerpt is from my 30k failing eye fic (link in pinned) which has a birthday scene. i revisited and edited it again and it is now 30k :) #kerplunk thing is because of a mysterious game that shirahama has drawn orufrey playing before and to me it looks like Kerplunk. #a kids' game from this 'Real World' which we live in. card game is Cheat from neopets. but it's a real game. i want to play it for real.... #you lie and cheat in it..hence the name..and 'branston the eyrie you are a bold one' classic neopets tumblr post...no....ok then..... #'hey qif i know we're obsessed with witches' kerplunk but we used to play cheat all the time what happened to that??' #'oh. i just..don't like lying to you. i don't like how it feels.' 'oh haha i guess that's a good thing. ok let's play kerplunk instead ^_^' #'mm. *dying inside crying in the rain in my soul*' #i dislike trying to illustrate my writing. i resent myself for having described oru's captivating mysterious smile so perfectly #i can't draw that. i know what it looks like perfectly in my mind and i am right there on that roof but i can't draw it satisfyingly enough #writing comes from a different part of my brain. there's different things in there. i'm glad i wrote out some of what i can't draw. #then there are things that i don't write or draw but which are still a crucial ongoing facet of my orufrey mindscape. #the Written orufrey the Drawn orufrey and the Unspoken orufrey... three faces of a beautiful irreplaceable jewel in my heart... #could a depressed person do THAT.

[anendoandfriendo]

"Fuck your online discourse" actually, no, we do think the halloween DID flag shouldn't be used but it's not because of some bullshit like "waah it's just a recolor" it's because the system that created that flag is a huge fucking racist and ableist last we checked, and we never saw ant kind of apology for being racist and ableist to endogenic systems. We never saw them stop being anti-endogenic or anti-Black (because let's be honest, Black endogenic systems specifically would be the ones most affected and hurt by this).

Like, we know people have forgotten by now, but we were THERE just before TPA became a thing, when systems like The Entropy System were fully mask-off in their bigotry (we call anti-endogenics facsists because of the personal experience of having the not-pleasure of seeing shit like the above link lmao), and such other things. We used to be very visible on Twitter as an endogenic system who's seen this shit but it was kind of taking over 99% of our focus when we were working retail instead of working at home, so we ended up tapering it away.

#to be clear. this IS an actual opinion of ours. #it is also a vent & we are fully aware we will never be able to get people to stop using it entirely. #like that would be rude/mean at best we guess. #but we're kind of in that liminal time/space where we came out as an endogenic system pre-TPA but just barely. #researching niche bullshit was a REQUIREMENt for us...until it wasn't #which we thought was supposed to happen in your 50's -- not like...somewhere in the 20's to 30's range yall #we remember niche bullshit in the plural communities that you woluldnt even DREAM of if someone gives us the correct recall trigger if your #newer than like 2 years to plurality #“the plural pride world conference did not even exist yet and then existed within like two years of us coming out” levels of transition #we're so glad the kids will be okay but we're a kid ourselves if were using that metaphor. the older teen-quasi-parent specifically. :') #if were going with that metaphor/those vibes that is #we wont always understand but we do try to at least be kind #does anyone else remember that guide to “so youve slipped into another world” or smth like that??? #you had to dig for hours and hours if not DAYS/WEEKS and you could still be fucked #if your system friend did not also have it to share with you all #yeah that system popped in and said “hI” to us on our twitter when we talked about that there too and is glad people have been helped by it #iwrc that is

[anxiously-sidequesting]

So I once made a funny shit post about the Young Wizard actually beaming to the Spiral at the tender age of 45 but it got me thinking of the opposite. What if the Wizard was incredibly young

Since in the game it isn't specified at what exact age we arrived in the Spiral I think it's just up to the player to come up with that part. I personally like to think The Wizard was around 7 or 8 when this happened but what if they were actually like four or five years old

Like shieeeet that's young enough where we wouldn't really remember our time on Earth very clearly right? Our family and maybe our friends but unless we had like ungodly memory powers, we wouldn't be able to remember all of the details of our original home. Like isn't it proven that human beings first gain self and special awareness at 3 or 4? Something like that

And this can open up for some sweet scenarios - little kid Wizard running up to Malorn with a scribbled drawing of him with a big smile on his face, or us and Ceren reading picture books together or clinging onto Nolan's robes as we attempt to stand on his feet as he walks like a penguin, but there's also this sad and messed up undertone that in this universe Ambrose took what was essentially a child just out of toddler stage and decided to keep them in the Spiral instead of returning them to their family

And like imagine how that would affect us. We would see it as normal at first because we grew up in the Spiral, we spent more years in the wizard world than in our home on Earth, but what if the Wizard gained awareness later on in life and actually realized what happened. Would they even care at that point because the Spiral was integrated in them at such a young age? Would they feel any yearning towards their original family, would they miss them at all? Would the Wizard be bitter about not getting to know them?

It's different when you're 7 - 10 and onwards because at that stage in your life you've more than gotten used to Earth life. You've gained awareness and it has been emotionally and mentally established that THIS (Earth) is your home. You know your parents and you know your friends and you know your environment. You will miss that when it's gone and feel it's absence because you're old enough to at least notice when you're taken away from it. But when you're still at that impressionable and oblivious stage of like 4 - 6 years old? The Spiral is all you know now. Your parents faces will be blurry, you may not even remember the details of what your home looked like. You may remember certain smells, colors or feelings you experienced when you were on Earth but that may be about it. And the saddest part about that is depending on what Ambrose and the other adults put our Wizard through, we may grow to completely forget even those essential memories. That Earth part of us would TOTALLY be gone and that would include even our parents (or other caretakers). I'm crying actually

#this was supposed to be a happy post LMFAO #i wanted to make little kid/familial relationships headcanons with the wizard city student npcs. maybe ill still do that #i can see even nolan taking us under his wing and hyping us up and going “WOW thats so pretty!!!” at a drawing we made #penny dreadful would be the best older sister. by accident of course bc she wasnt looking to adopt but she saw us- #-one day and was like ''yeah. yeah they can be my family'' #imagine us being one of the highlights in malorns day. after a hard day of work he just sees this little kid- #-running up ro him just so happy to see him for no reason. they hug his waist and then tell him about their day #duncan grimwater shenanigans. ''ew i dont want this child near me'' (is nice to them anyway bc theyre 4) #villains when they see a toddler has come to kill them: 🧐 #even malistaire goes ''what the fuck is this you want me to beat up a child??? ambrose???????'' #we're 8 years old when we face off morganthe in zafaria #thats so fucking funny morganthe would be APPALLED #and you bitches KNOW grandfather spider would adopt us IMMEDIATELY #''good job son (gender neutral)!'' grandfather spider says as we beat him the fuck up in mirage #wizard101 #w101 #wiz101 #text posts

[randomnameless]

Hello! I hope that you are doing well!

I just wanted to send you a question regarding the amount of power Rhea has in Fódlan since something came to my mind. You know how during Edelgard's coronation, she said to her father that, "The Archbishop of the Church of Seiros would normally act as witness, but my professor will fill that role instead"?

Unless I missed something [or am overthinking], do you believe that Rhea was even there to witness Ionius' coronation?

We were told in the game that it had been ages since a member of House Hresvelg enrolled into the Officers Academy as well as that there had recently been a rift between the Adrestian Empire and the Church of Seiros.

Therefore, to me at least, that implied that said rift had been going on for a while. And I do not see why they would allow her there if such a thing was going on. Yet, Rhea does not retaliate against this as far as I know. Then there is the fact that Edelgard is allowed to be coronated without Byleth's presence. The Southern Church was dismantled, too, so…I think it is safe to say that there was not an official to witness her from there as well. lol

To put it simply, it feels very contradictory to me and adds a crack into the "Rhea controls Fódlan" perspective.

Hi!

I agree, that NPC going all "the empire and hthe church cut ties eons agao that's why supreme leader is the first imperial heir to attend since ages" suggests Rhea wasn't very welcomed in Enbarr.

FWIW the Nopes book about the Southern Church incident reveals the Emperor of that time already wanted to cut ties with the Central Church - and used this rebellion (which was more or less a Varley daughter wanting to have a role instead of letting her bother inherit everything?) as an excuse to finally give them the boot.

In a nutshell, I heavily doubt Rhea was around when Ionius was coronated, if her Church was already "not welcomed" by the time the Southern Church was disbanded.

The Archbishop acting as witness might be just some sort of old ceremonial thing, just like the "covenant of the red blood and the white sword", maybe all coronations try to renact the "oath" Wilhelm took/swore to Seiros when she presumably made him Emperor of Adrestia? And the Archbishop acts as a stand in for Seiros (even if we know better!) when the oath is sworn again by Willy's descendants?

As you pointed out, the Archbishop being present or not is merely decorum, since nowhere the game suggests that in the non-CF routes, Supreme Leader's coup coronation isn't regular or anything.

Rhea controlling Fodlan isn't backed up by canon, Adrestia has been doing its own thing for several centuries, the CoS only provides help (the game doesn't tell us what it is!) to Faerghus : Dimitri becomes King not because Rhea crowns or splashes oil on him, but because he is the Crown Prince and the last heir of the previous King. As for the Alliance, it does its own thing without her input!

#dovehearts-blog #replies #FE16 #Rhea/the CoS controls Fodlan is a take sponsorised by NoA and Treehouse #even in the european websites we didn't get that shit to describe Fodlan #on that regard we're closer to the jp description of the continent than to the US one for once #I'd say Rhea has a complicated relationship with Adrestian Emperors #she can't help but be disappointed because they're not Wilhelm and will never equal him #only he has the 'great' title lol #and they don't follow the CoS and its principles like remember when they tried to invade Brigid/Dagda? Or fed northeners to beasts for fun? #and yet they're the scions of Wilhelm so maybe she can call them her allies? If she needs help they will provide? (we know how it ends lol) #in the half lizard lycaon AU she has even more conflicted feelings bcs #those people aren't willy nor lycaon when it was him who was supposed to be there #everytime she witnesses a new coronation she remembers this coronation happens #because her kid was torn apart by the very people she's crowning #children aren't their parents she knows it and yet there's still that small heartache #bcs Ionius 1 to Ionius 9 aren't Lycaon #back to canon i guess the CoS's presence in Adrestia is mostly ceremonial #to replay the willy'n'seiros alliance #but nothing as important as if Rhea says tut-tut the Emperor cannot be crowned #rhea stuff

[duahauuoplanh]

the problem of a child that has never been loved properly, is that we don't know what to do when our parents show us their little love and our heart just keeps breaking.

#you can feel his heart had skipped a beat #he doesn't know what to do with this abnormal care his parent just gave him #we just pretend we don't need our parents' love but we do #lies that our defense system tells us everyday so we don't fall into pieces #but perhaps our parents have their reasons #perhaps they are still kids themselves that got hurt from their parents too #when it comes to trauma I think we are all the same. #we're all survivors after all #this drama has brought me laughter but also leave some bitterness in my mouth #Junho #Lee Junho #It’s Junho’s season now #King the Land #2pm #series of things that went straight to my heart and never leave #I put my heart into every gifset I’ve made #always next to Junho

[batfamfucker]

I'm sorting vaccinations out for going to the US and I think Americans would genuinely have heart attacks if they found out British people (Idk if any other Europeans do this or anyone in general) have 'Chicken Pox Parties'.

Basically, if someone's child has Chicken Pox, they'll encourage their other kids (If they have others) to spend more time with their ill sibling. The 'Party' bit is more for the actual gatherings just for Chicken Pox. The parents will invite any of their friends who also have kids, or other parents they get along with from their kid's school, with the intention to make all of them end up with Chicken Pox. We have a massive 'herd immunity' mindset for Chicken Pox.

My sister had it the full three times. I used to sleep in my sister's bed as a kid because I didn't like sleeping in my own room, and I still did this when she had Chicken Pox. I had it once (Maybe twice but I can't remember), I have a scar on my arm from one of the spots. It was gross but we were never scared of it, it was just normal for us, it was like any other cold.

#I'm not gonna say it's not that bad because I don't know US history #And also I know there are still kids that die from it and that's not something I want to make light of #But I just think it's crazy how different the views of it are between us #And that I'm gonna have to pay money for a blood test to prove I'm immune #Because it's not something we're vaccinated against here like it's not mandatory/legally required to do for kids #Parents just do it themselves when the kid of someone they know has it #And then we just spend a few days/a weel or two in bed with it #My sister had it THREE times tho I swear she had it so many times 💀 #She is always sick tho so I'm not surprised. But she does work in a nursery now so that's one reason why #But I swear her immune system is shit 💀

[kyuala]

SOOOOOO hard to go through everyday life trying to ignore the never-ending feeling that im just irreparably fucked up and therefore should just give up on everything

#this aint exactly s******* but it aint exactly not s******* either #anyways it gets even harder when i have to live under the same roof as my brother who is so much better than me in every single conceivable #and imaginable way possible like #and i knowwww a LOT of it comes down to us having relatively similar yet wildly different lives despite being 1.5y apart and having the sam #family our entire lives like he has gone through NOTHING and i mean not a single societal issue ive had to face and endure my entire life #he's a man im a woman. he's white im black. he's straight im gay. he's skinny ive always been 'overweight'. he's always been the good #christian kid ive always had issues w faith and religion. he's never been mentally ill i was clinically depressed for nearly 8yrs of my lif #we both lost the same parent and im the only one who got pathological grief and a personality disorder out of it. he's had a great job for #the last 7yrs that now pays him 20k+ every month ive only had 3 odd jobs my entire life and 2 of those my MOTHER had to give me so i would #have SOMETHING and ive never made over 1.6k monthly n my last job was minimum wage only #he's had like 4 relationships and is nearly engaged im so traumatized + emotionally unavailable ive only ever been on 1 date my entire life #he has a good relationship w every family member we have i have Issues w like half the family. he's always been an active member of our #church i can barely listen to like 4 traditional hymns before i start losing my mind and spiraling. i think the only two ways we're pretty #much equal like socially is that we're both able bodied cis and christians but still the cis and christian thing is debatable for previousl #stated reasons so like. do yall see how much better he is doing than me in every little last area in life and how he's always gotten the #long straw when it comes to Not having to deal w certain obstacles in life. n i know its like yea idk what it actually is like to be him an #he could not be doing all that well first of all shut up. second of all if it was 1 or 2 things i'd get it but it's literally EVERYTHING #and i know bc of said things n our v different lives it's unfair to me to compare the two of us but then it begs the question: WHY #WHY did i have to go through these things. WHY do i have to deal w this. WHY did i get the short straw literally every goddamn time #WHY did i have to get THIS life like WHYYYYY why ME GOD. why have I had to put up w all this bullshit for 24 fucking years!!!!!!!!! im TIRE #and this is not me hating or resenting him i know it's not his fault and he is so good to me #but still. why was i left with these things? to live like this? #so yes i guess i do envy him a little bit. who wouldn't #mari.txt #personal #tw negative #dl #btw i do NOT mean some identities are better than others. i mean he is better and is doing better than me in life partially bc he's never #had to deal w certain social issues and obstacles that come w oppressed identities.

[laleonaluna]

23.5 degrees is not only a show that i am currently obsessed with. it is also the number of celsius i want today's temperature to be. i honestly was about to past out while buying cat food, just on the next street, due to heat. i immediately bought cold soy milk from the convenience store in fear of passing out.

all the characters from episode 7 are not exaggerating about south east asia being hot. as tinh said, we might be actually is being readied for hell.

#also another issue kids dont know that there used to be a time when night sky still have stars #i know other places have hotter temperature #this is not a competition #we're all in the same hell #what's up global warming deniers #do we need to die before you accept the truth #23.5 degrees #philippines #thai gl #gmmtv #lgbt #lgbt show

[penisbilt]

the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now

#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL #really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us #ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great #extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore #the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog #its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow #i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating #i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one #i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it #theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget #anyway. anyway. #our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by #there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!' #we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad #cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now #maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that #im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away #ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free #i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20 #i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her #but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more #maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know #because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before #i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years #i dunno. i dont know #anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process #the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months #the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time #when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move #just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend

[hephaestuscrew]

Assorted Thoughts about the Greater Boston Season 4 finale

I'd assumed that Leon would 'move on' at the end of Season 5, the end of the podcast as a whole. But now we're going to have a whole season of the podcast without him. It's strange to imagine. There's never been a Greater Boston podcast without Leon Stamatis. There's never been a city of Red Line without Leon Stamatis. We began Season 1 confronting the gap that Leon left behind. We learned that he wasn't quite as gone as we might have thought, but there was still the loss, the grief, the consequences of his death. In an interesting narrative symmetry, at the beginning of Season 5 we'll have to confront him being more fully, completely gone. But I think we'll continue to see the ways in which his life and afterlife have rippled outwards.

~~

Immediately after Nica said Leon had brought people together "like a family", Louisa exclaimed that she needed to call Michael. I can't help wondering if it was Nica's comment that triggered that thought for Louisa. I'm emotional about Michael being family for Leon, Michael being family for Louisa, Michael being someone who was brought into Louisa's life by Leon…

~~

There were two moments of Nica and Dimitri sitting with Gemma in the middle of them holding the crystal ball. First, in the back of Lucia's car, when Nica reached out to touch the ball and Dimitri took her hand instead. Second, on the Ferris wheel as they prepared to say goodbye to Leon. Leon was in the middle between his two siblings - he is what divides them and he is what unites them. They held hands over him, finding awkward togetherness in the presence of their loss, stopping each from succumbing to that loss. Leon was in the middle between his two siblings, but he also wasn't; it was Gemma occupying that space for him.

On a related note, I can't help but wonder whether the Stamatis siblings had habitual positions when they'd sit in the back of a car together as children. I think that's a fairly common sibling thing, and it seems likely that it would appeal to the order-loving Leon. I can't decide if it makes me more emotional to imagine that they usually sat with Leon in the middle like that, or to imagine how they sat on that ferris wheel wasn't their typical childhood order.

~~

The lack of narration and the high number of monologues from a range of characters this episode meant that sometimes I wasn't initially sure whether a scene was an interview snippet from a real person or a monologue from a character. I think there's something significant in that blurring of reality and fiction, in real stories of loss mixed with the fictional. Those interviewees are a part of this story, or this story is a part of our world too.

~~

I loved Michael's mantra being spoken by the group, with each person taking one word. For Michael, that sequence of numbers was a way of asserting his own agency in spite of circumstances and his ideas about his nature. It was a way of saying 'my choices matter, even if I can't change the outcome'. And this moment showed how that idea can be upheld within through community and togetherness.

Michael spoke the word "Eight". And perhaps he wanted other people to take over, trusting that the people around him would complete his mantra, believing that they'd understand what he needed in that moment. Or perhaps he was intending to speak the mantra by himself until Louisa interrupted to support him. Either way there's a uniquely powerful kind of choice made against an indifferent world - the choice for people to stand against that world together. It's a contrast with Michael's often self-isolating tendencies for that mantra to become a shared thing.

#Greater Boston #Greater Boston podcast #I was going to make these into separate posts but I don't want to flood the tag or people's dashes #And I'll probably have more thoughts about this later #I listened to the last half hour of this episode on my way to work today #because I have not learned my lesson about being emotionally devastated by GB right before I need to do work #But anyway I mistimed it slightly so I had to take a bit of an extra walk around the block to experience the ending #Btw I thought about the Stamatis siblings maybe having habitual seats in the back of a car #because me and my brother have always sat on the same sides when we're in the back of a car together #For us it's the ghost of a sticker I had on the window of our family car when we were kids #That car is long gone but I still sit on the right in the back of a car #I imagine Leon might have been in the middle because Dimitri and Nica would want to look out of the window and would be more restless #And Leon was a generous big brother #Urgh the idea that he's properly past tense now 😭 #greater boston spoilers #Greater Boston podcast spoilers #the empty man posteth

[thethingything]

also though this dentist is genuinely the best dentist we've ever had.

she was really understanding about us having issues with toothpaste and we asked if she had any recommendations for alternatives we could try to see if those help and she gave us some options to look into so that's cool.

she also took our medical trauma into account and kept checking if we were okay throughout the appointment and asking if we needed to take breaks and we've never had a dentist do that before.

she warned us about what each tool would feel like too and actually warned us if something was going to be painful which like, I would in fact rather be warned that "this is going to be uncomfortable in this way" and "yeah this is gonna feel really bad for a few days but that's normal" than have someone try to reassure us that it won't be that bad only for it to get really painful.

our next appointment is to have a tooth removed and she explained the procedure to us and how that normally goes, and then we asked if we can take the tooth home afterwards and I can only assume from the look on her face that she's never been asked that before, but she was like "yeah I don't see why not, it is yours after all" so that's cool

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #happy posting #I am really glad she warned us that our mouth would be sore because holy shit she was not kidding #but also we've never had a filling that blends in so well with the rest of the tooth. you can't tell there's a filling there when you look #she put so much work into it and got us to check it before we left to make sure the texture was okay #it took twice as long as the appointments we've had for fillings in the past #we're so used to having dentists just kind of rush to get everything done and being really shitty about our anxiety #which like admittedly I am probably still gonna have issues with medical trauma stuff later because that's just how that is #but holy shit it's such a relief to have a dentist who very clearly wants to make you as comfortable as possible #and is obviously taking your trauma and health problems into account the entire time #we're also used to going to one appointment and the medical professional being great #but then being shitty in the next appointment once they realise we have complicated problems and trauma and stuff #but no she was just as nice and accommodating as last time which is gonna help a lot with feeling less anxious next time I think

[anaalnathrakhs]

...i'm starting to wonder if i wasn't actually pretty often failed by the adults in my life as a young kid tbh.

#i'm always doubtful where to put the blame #in a morally neutral causality kind of way to be clear #because like. i dont know. if i was the adult. confronted to the opaque behavior of a child. would i have done better? #but also i can't help but think #why the fuck did they make me skip a grade (last grade of primary on top of that) when i was notorious for never doing my homework #and was incredibly inconsistent across topics #like i sucked at math. like ''needs to count on fingers to do a simple addition or substraction'' sucking at math. #like i never learned any multiplication tables sucking at math #like i never got how to pose divisions and still can't at age 18 because logicomathematics are completely counterintuitive to me #and just. the work was never done to make me Get It. my work or teachers' work who knows. but perhaps skipping a grade wasnt the solution #or like #apparently when i was three years old the pediatrician suspected smth was up with me #either autism directly or ''generally suspicious child'' we're not clear on that #but he told my parents. and everybody said ''we better test that'' and then. nothing. idk. #they filled a parental report of behaviors questionnaire for... adhd i think? autism maybe. and that's it. never fucking heard about it. #god. i just remembered my mom saying proudly they almost never put me in the nursery as a kid. #always either with a parent or family or a nanny. #and perhaps mother. you could have foreseen that a kid with no siblings no pets no kid neighbors no playdates. would end up socially fucked #i remember the teachers scolding late students and showing us that we were supposed to be in bed by 9:30 or something #and internally i was like BUDDY AT 9PM WE'RE HALFWAY THROUGH DINNER #MOM'S BEEN HOME FOR LESS THAN AN HOUR #and shit. i don't know. i was scared of the dark as a child. to the point that even with the compromise #of keeping the door ajar and lights in the hallway (which i had to fucking advocate for btw) #i still slept curled up in the bathroom on a towel sometimes when it got too scary #and i would cry and scream before going to bed. i would beg my mom for sleeping pills from a young age. #i would often find myself in the morning sleeping with my face smushed between the pages of the book i literally fell asleep on #because i read until my eyes gave out #and a couple years later when i got a 3ds i'd play at night and if my dad caught me he'd storm into my room and i'd hide under the comforte #and he'd punch a couple times and whisper-yell at me not to do that and go to sleep #it took until i was about 15yo for me to see a sleep specialist

[bunnyb34r]

Gonna go get a UTI sitting in the movies for 3 hours 🥰 #TreatYourselfTuesday

#marquilla #actually i regularly go 4 hrs not going bc i hate peeing at work agdgdgdggd every time i do something happens #one time someone was brushing their teeth (coworker). another a coworker LOUDLY banged on the shared wall in the stall #asked who was in there (mind you we are the only people in this bathroom. theres other stalls. we're both in stalls) and after i #answered they loudly went 'MAR I AM SO SICK OF THIS PLACE!!!' like you didnt have to know it was me 😭 #another time the maintenance lady just started cleaning the floors while i was still in the bathroom and she knew i was there #and usually when i have to go/would be getting up to go thats when maintaince does their first cleaning of the day 😭 every time #i hate using it when we're open too like god people are animals what the fuck is your problem be nice to the bathroom stop smearing poop #on the wall 😭😭😭 i wish i was kidding #anyways im gonna go to the movies again finally even though i havent long enough that my brain is like eh im over that #like no! we are gonna go and have fun! it's only $6 for 3hrs of entertainment shut up brain